#honestly so jealous of my roommate who gets to see her sister like twice a week

[monotonous-minutia]

I love sharing music with people and then when they really like it it's a kind of connection you can't feel anywhere else

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 25 - Marshall

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 24 -- Part 26

Pairing: Marshall x ofc (Vivienne)

Summary: The guys throw a New Years Eve party at 179th Crescent Street...

Warnings: Drinking, blood, violence (sounds like a party, right?), angst...

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: Alright! Thank you @deandoesthingstome for gently bullying me into posting this right away (I love you for that!) Here's all there is to know for now on the Marshall situation... It's not a long chapter, but still... I'm excited about this one. I hope you all like some unresolved angst!

@geralts-yenn @summersong69 @peaches1958 @fvckinghenrycavill @keanureevesisbae @livisss @sillyrabbit81 @ellethespaceunicorn @ylva-syverson @poledancingdinos

“Listen,” I snap at Mike and Dani, who have clearly decided that the hallway is a completely appropriate place to suck the skin off each other’s faces, “you’re not the only people on the planet. Get a fucking room.” 

“Marshall,” Dani answers, “go find yourself someone to suck your dick, and leave us alone.” That girl is getting way too comfortable around here. I swear to God; one more happy couple and I’m going to throw up. Of course Sherlock and Elena appear right on cue, also fairly firmly attached to each other. I can’t believe I’m actually jealous of them, actively wishing I had my arms wrapped around… her… I’ve checked the whole house twice at this point; she’s a no-show. That’s probably for the best; I have to get over her, and seeing her will only make things worse. 

Maybe Dani is right, maybe I should… I have to forget about her one way or another. It’s been over a week since it happened, and at first I thought it was just another one time thing. Now, I’m praying to every god I can think of that it was just a hookup, but the more I beg the universe to have it be exactly that, the less I believe it actually was. Thing is: I can’t actually afford to fall in love with my best friend’s sister. If Peter ever found out about this, he’d have my nuts, and I honestly couldn’t blame him. Ironically, he’s also the only person with whom I can actually talk about this shit. Except in this case, that talk isn’t going to go over well. What the fuck would I tell him? ‘Sorry, mate, I shagged your sister, and now I’m in love. With your sister.’ I might as well break my nose myself, that would save me both time and embarrassment. 

It’s time for another beer. Maybe two or three. In the living room, all of my roommates are really busy, and I just can’t help but roll my eyes.

“Not having a great night?” I recognize the voice; it’s Vivienne Chase, Marine Biology major and certified puck bunny. I’m fairly sure she’s made her way through well over half of my hockey team at this point. Not that I care. 

“Not really,” I answer. Dani’s words echo in my head, and it doesn’t help that she walks by right that second, sticking her tongue into her cheek. The whole gesture leaves very little room for interpretation. Mike notices - for a change - and nudges her in the arm while stifling a laugh. 

Vivienne stays. We drink, we talk, I even find myself laughing at some point. 

“I think it’s time to get the fuck out of here.” Great. Charles just decked Tony Bates. He had it coming - from Mike, but he was busy rolling a joint, so someone had to step up to the plate. I’d say it’s not like Charles to stand up for someone else’s girl like that, but it really is. He can be a prick, but he’s fiercely loyal to his friends, and as far as he is concerned, that includes their girlfriends. I’m almost sure he’d never actually make good on any threats he makes about going after one of them. Almost. 

“Alright, folks, nothin’ to see here, back to your business,” Sy says from another corner of the room, tearing his eyes away from Alicia Thomson. 

Tony actually leaves without making a fuss, which saves me a whole lot of trouble. I’d have hated to have to toss him out. From the corner of my eye, I look at Viv. It’s a good thing Charles was already busy talking up Dani’s roommate, because if he hadn’t been, I’m pretty sure Vivienne would have walked out on me. These hockey girls are way into a couple of guys throwing punches. I scoff at the thought. 

“Hm?” Her smile screams mischief and her eyes scream sex. This girl is throwing herself at me so glaringly obviously I’m even getting a strange look from Sy, who’s all the way across the room from me.

“Nothing,” I say, and I try to continue my conversation with her as naturally as possible. School, the holidays, hobbies, the usual. She’s clearly not planning on getting to know me - not that I’m hell bent on finding out everything about her. Or anything, even, for that matter. I know her name, which Charles would probably say is already more than I need to know, and to be completely honest, it’s plenty for me, too. At least right now.

Her hands are always on me, she’s leaning in when I talk, giggling, playing with her hair. Serving up the works, really. If this is a good idea, why am I constantly reminding myself that Lexi isn’t an option? Why can’t I get her out of my goddamn head? I vaguely register the rest of the room as they count down to midnight, and two arms snaking around my waist. Fuck, she’s close, pushing me back against the wall even further… And then she kisses me. 

Her lips are soft but extremely demanding, forcing mine apart. Before I can properly register what is happening, her tongue slides into my mouth, and I just give in. Worst case scenario, I get laid tonight and there’ll be plenty of time for pining over a girl I can’t have, later. Vivienne lets go of me only to put her glass down somewhere, and I do the same. Her lips crash against mine again, and I feel her chest press into me. Not to be insensitive, but she has an impressive rack, and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about them once or twice - in a more or less naked state, that is. I stop her when she tries to slide her hands up my sweater. 

“We’re in a room full of people,” I say softly, without even opening my eyes. I can almost hear her grin. 

“How about we move to a room with less people,” she whispers in my ear before very quickly nipping at my earlobe. 

I look around the room, knowing full well there isn’t a living soul in this house right now who would care if I took this girl upstairs - except for me. A voice in my head screams at me to go for it; she’s throwing herself at me, she’s smoking hot, and I’ve got to forget about Lexi. It doesn’t help that that part of my brain is - apparently - very closely connected to my cock. Another part of me points out that I should really be making this decision with my head, but it’s just not going to happen. 

We barely make it through the door of my room before her sweater is off and her mouth is on mine again. Man, this girl is not wasting any time… Hands slip under my sweater, and before I've even pulled it over my head, her hands are already undoing my jeans. I really should be feeling differently about this. My hands are all over the most spectacular tits I've ever seen, and there's a hot girl trying to get into my pants - and succeeding… God, she works fast. Her hand wraps around my cock and for a few moments, I'm a happy man. Until I'm not. Fuck. 

"Too much to drink?" The answer is 'no', but a) I doubt she'll believe me and b) I don't think the real reason will score me any more points, and if I say no, she's going to ask… And then what am I going to say? ‘Sorry, you’re really hot, I’m just madly in love with my best friend’s sister’? Hardly seems like a good idea to me, so I decide to just shrug. Fuck if I know what to do, it's not like I have a reaction prepared for when my dick refuses service! This has never happened before. Alright, that’s not completely true, but it’s never happened before when it actually mattered.

"Too bad," Vivienne says as she puts her clothes back on, and I do the same. I knew there was nothing between us, but it hurts nonetheless to see her leave like this. My mind wanders to Lex. It never would have happened with her, I'm sure, but if it had… what would she have done? Not this.  

I shove the thought of holding her in my arms down resolutely and turn to Viv. 

"Any chance we can keep this between us?" I’m walking the line between indifferent and absolutely mortified. I honestly didn’t even know that line existed, because those two emotions don’t really feel like they’re immediately adjacent, but here we are. 

"I'm not gonna tell. This isn't exactly great for me, either." And just like that, she's gone. 

I finish getting dressed and lay on my bed until I hear noise in the hall. 

"Where is he?" I know that voice. That's Peter. "Mike, I swear, get the fuck out of my way." I can't let Mike take the heat for my mistakes, I have to get out there. My feet are heavy. I know what's going to happen, and it's not going to be good. For fuck's sake, how did I let it get to this?

"Peter, leave him alone." He's down in the hallway when I walk down the stairs, looking up at me. If looks could kill… 

"Marshall…" Mike doesn’t exactly look prepared to get out of the way, which might be a good thing. I hope to prevent this fight from taking place on the stairs, if at all possible. I’ll take a few punches, but I’d rather not break my neck.

"Mike, it's okay. He's after me, not looking for trouble. It's cool, back off." He lets me squeeze past him on the stairs, but he doesn't move. Dani is standing near the door to the kitchen, looking terrified. It's crowded in the hallway. August is there, although I don't see Ange anywhere right now. Geralt and Sol are right behind Dani. Great. An audience.

As soon as I set foot on the ground floor, I take a punch to the face. Both Mike and August look ready to lunge at Peter.

"Guys," I'm not much of a masochist, but I can't say I didn't deserve that. 

"No, sorry," August says, "what the hell is he doing?" 

"I shagged his sister," I say before a second fist hits me square in the nose. God, I hate the way it sounds when it breaks. The guys don't seem convinced to back off just yet, and I'm fairly sure the blood streaming down my face isn't helping.

"If you think that's what this is about, think again, you fucking bastard!" 

"Hold on." I don't know why I'm opening my mouth, honestly. "You're not mad I slept with Lex?" 

The door to my right opens. 

"Nothing going on here, Leon, just get back inside." There's blood all over my face, so this can't be very believable. He does take my advice, though, which I'm glad about. I don't need the guys to gang up on Peter, especially since I had this coming.

"Listen, pal." He's pissed about something, but if it's not me sleeping with Lexi, then what? "You think you can get with my sister - which I'm not not pissed about, mind you - and take off with the next skank a week later?" 

"Nothing ha-"

"Save it. She saw you two take off together. The fuck else were you doing? You got a coin collection I don't know about that you wanted to show her?" He slams me against the wall. It doesn't hurt. Not more than my face, anyway. It's a shit excuse I'm using. Because I'm fairly sure I would have seen it through, if things had… y'know, cooperated. I can see the next punch coming. Might have to close my eyes for this one, because I just know it's gonna hurt like a bitch. Then his words actually register in my brain. She saw me take off with Vivienne. That hits like a ton of bricks. It hurts me enough to bring me to tears, actually. 

"That's quite enough." Any voice that's this calm in a situation like this is usually Geralt's, but Geralt isn't a girl, and the owner of that voice very clearly is. Ange. "There's four guys in this hallway, ready to jump you. You punched him once for screwing your sister, and once for hurting her. Enough." Lo and behold; Peter actually backs off. Not that I wouldn't have, or anyone else in this house, for that matter. Anjelica can be truly terrifying. Especially because we can't exactly talk back to her; August would kill us. And she knows that.

"The whole family was rooting for you guys," Peter says as he lets go of my shoulders, "what the hell were you thinking?" It takes everything I have to stay on my feet, now that Peter isn’t practically holding me up anymore. I can hear the hurt in his voice, which forces more tears from my eyes. 

"The whole fa- What? You just said you weren't exactly thrilled that she and I…" I shake my head - carefully, because it hurts like hell - as if it’s going to clear anything about this up.

"Yeah, because you just did it to get laid.” Even though I know I deserve that - because I definitely believe why it looks that way - I can’t let it slide. Part of me feels that he should know me better after all these years, another part knows I can’t defend myself against this.

"I didn't, I-" Peter doesn’t let me finish my sentence.

"Can it, Marshall!" I do what he asks and shut up - like I probably should have done from the beginning. "There's no fixing this with me before you fix things with her." 

And in trying not to lose my best friend by staying away from the girl I love, I lost both. Happy fucking new year to me.

[saiangelo999]

2020 T.V Show Tracker

T.V. Shows

The Witcher 

Started 2019 finished 2020. Click here for my thoughts.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Completed - I really enjoyed the episode with Pimento, that episode was just hilarious. I think that was one of my favourite episodes this season.

Self Made

It was very a enjoyable mini-series. Sarah's story is so fascinating and inspirational precisely because of how many hardships she had to deal with throughout her life. I enjoyed the show and learning more about Madam CJ Walker.

Interior Design Masters

This was a really fun show. I didn’t agree with everything that the judges said, but I definitely had fun watching the contestants renovate commercial and residential places. My favourite episode was when they worked on the stores (not restaurants). I really loved those transformations.

The Big Flower Fight

It was such a fun show! I really enjoyed watching how the contestants used plants to create beautiful and interesting topiaries/sculptures. I loved most of the contestants and was always looking forward to their take on each challenge!

Space Force

It was a fun show! Enjoyed watching it with my sister.  :)

Hannibal

Re-visiting this show from the one or two episodes I watched back when I was in grade 12 and one of my teachers was promoting this show because her friend was an extra in it. But, I really am intrigued by the concept, the way the show is filmed is just so gorgeous for such a gory show and the plot is very fascinating. Anytime Hannibal feeds anyone I get a bit antsy. But Will Graham is just such an interesting character. I have high expectations of the show!

Update: Finished s1 and LOVED it! As I was binging s2 I started to get nightmares and also the plot started to move forward at a snail’s pace (imo) so I will put this show on hold for now.

The Umbrella Academy s2

So I really enjoyed this season of Umbrella Academy because I got to see more of Five kicking ass as a teenager, the character growth of BOTH Diego and Luther, seeing the entire family getting closer to Vanya and the general action sequences of the show. I enjoyed the new characters as well - Lila and The Swedes. I admit my memory of season 1 of this show is somewhat vague, but I found that the ending of the season (its climax to be precise in episode 10) to be somewhat lackluster considering the build-up. 

I really enjoyed was seeing Klaus, Allison and Vanya deal with their respective subplots and that scene in the barbershop with the three of them bonding really was a highlight of the season. Also when (spoiler alert) Ben finally ‘died’ and went to the afterlife that scene was so well executed and emotional and has got to be one of my favorite moments of the season. It was nice to see him helping Vanya out.

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I loved this show! I grew to love these characters so much! I loved Hannah and Owen’s relationship so much.

The Haunting of Hill House

So, I read the book first and wanted to see what the hype was all about. I really enjoyed the little easter eggs to the book in the show, and that ONE SCENE with the ‘Bent-Neck lady’ gave me a nightmare... It was good, definitely an interesting take on the story.

Anime

The Disastrous Life of Saiki: Reawakened

I love how the show constantly shows us that Saiki will tolerate anyone for the sweet sweet coffee jelly. I need more of this show!! Please give me more episodes @Netflix.

Haikyuu!

I love it. I understand the hype now. I really enjoy how they show the lives of all the people in the show, the ‘extras’ on the team, the opponents and give us a glimpse into their lives and their stories. I finished season two and am looking forward to more! It’s honestly so hard to be rooting for just one person in this show and I love that.  Finished 2 seasons so far. Will get back into it eventually. I’m honestly jealous that I can’t play volleyball rn.

Mob Psycho 100

This will probably take me a while to finish as I am planning to read it before watching it. It’s so so lovable. I love Mob and I would do anything to protect him. Also I really like Regen’s protectiveness and genuineness towards Shigeo. It’s just a great manga/anime. Finished season one. It is so addicting! I love Mob and Reigen so much! <3

Update: finished season two. Man watching this show makes my heart grow 5 x as big every time I watch it! It’s just so endearing, fun, comedic. I love how season two really just show’s Shigeo’s growth throughout the season. His speech to Shirazawa at the last episode and how it came full circle - loved it! I also was surprised by the red headed son (Ryu?) in the best way. I hope we see more of him in the next season. Can’t wait for more!

Fruits Basket season 2

Can’t wait for more crying. 🙃 I am really looking forward to seeing Yuki’s character development and his relationship with Machi and Kakeru developing. Also looking forward to seeing Momiji growing and more moments between Kyo and Tohru.

Update: Love seeing Yuki’s arc in the anime format. Seeing him reach out to his brother, Hatsuharu and the student council peeps and grow is so rewarding to watch. Looking forward to more and more Kyorhu. One wish is that, I wish with this season we could see Momiiji change physically a bit more but I’m holding onto hope for that near the end of the season. 

March Comes in like a Lion/ 3-gatsu no Lion

It’s not my usual type of anime to watch as it is so slice-of-life, but in a weird way it really reminds me of My Roommate is a Cat except after I watch it I want to play chess or learn shogi. Of course, Rei has depression and a lot of issues he needs to work with, but the sisters are just so sweet and the moments that they show up to take care of him are so heartwarming. I love his self-proclaimed ‘best’ friend and rival - Nikaidou. I just really love how he’s drawn, his personality and when he shows up in the show it definitely perks me up. I really enjoy seeing him develop as a character and as a person. I am somewhat sympathetic to the plight of his foster sister but where I am in the show (finished s1) I absolutely loathe her. I really like seeing  how many people are around Rei and watching him tackle life and grow. Looking forward to watching s2!

The animation is very interesting. One thing that I am not sure if it is deliberate or not is how the characters’ facial expressions (mostly the way the mouth is in close-ups) are drawn to me seems very ambiguous to me - I can’t quite understand what emotion is being conveyed.

Update: Started s2 and man the bullying storyline with Hina is so sad.

Teasing Master Takagi-san

DNF. Just started it randomly. It’s very cute.

The Great Pretender

I started it cuz it was short and seemed like fun. It has darker undertones than I expected going into it. On the Singapore storyline.

Wotaku

This was very short and binge-able. I liked it, it’s fun for what it is.

Dramas

Never Twice

So idk if I’ll actually keep up with this as it is a guilty pleasure atm. I just started it because I liked some of the tropes that the show had (found family, sweet male lead, baby being doted on etc.). I am enjoying the gifs of the show. The plot is very... boring and I do recognize that for the most part the female characters don’t have much intrinsic motivation or identity outside male characters... 

05.2020 Update: DNF. 

Crash Landing on You

I am really enjoying it so far. I really like that both the female leads are just very powerful and interesting on their own. Really like how the found family trope is being used. The romance is cute (a bit much at times imo). I still can’t get over how Captain Ri heard her suicide tape and just went ‘oh we are fated to be together’. That was... an interesting interpretation of the tape...

Also the whole thing with her being in N. Korea is hilarious and really the drama asks the viewer to really suspend disbelief to enjoy the show but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Update: Completed. Enjoyed it overall. Wasn’t the best drama I’ve ever seen but REALLY loved the female leads in the show. Seo Dan and her family are just SO adorable. Can’t believe Gu Suengjoon was killed just as his relationship with Dan became so cute. One qualm is that this show does the whole near death thing WAY too many times with the main couple for my taste. 

365: Repeat the Year

Interesting premise and it has Nam Jihyun who I love. Looking forward to more and hoping it will keep my attention. I can’t believe that by episode 10 that the serial killer was revealed. I mean, I’m still invested in the show but that definitely caught me off-guard.

Finished it! I am really glad that they reduced the total amount of episodes because I felt that the ending was well done - not too rushed, not too out there (for the show). It was a very good ending for the show! I recommend it to anyone interested in a sci-fi/thriller. Overall, it was a fun time! Very engaging and would appeal to anyone interested in thrillers. I do have ONE gripe about the show which is a spoiler but it did not prevent me from enjoying the show. 

Love with Flaws/ People with Flaws

Finished! I started it cuz of a random compilation I saw on Youtube with the show and the gifs of it here and there and it’s decent overall. I would say that out of the many kdramas I’ve seen in this genre, it does stand slightly apart from the rest because of how each character is portrayed. I feel like there were no overt archetypes for the characters and I especially liked how they portrayed characters relationships. I liked how the siblings’ relationships were portrayed, and I really ended up loving the female lead’s eldest brother. He’s just so sweet and kind and I love how he does his best to take care of their entire family. It was definitely sad to see at points knowing that Cha In Ha committed suicide, but his character in the show was just so well done and important! Also his boyfriend is literally so pure I love him. As usual Seulgi just makes me go  😍😍.   

Nobody Knows 2020

It’s really good - very dark and bizarre. The shady foundation’s motivations are a mystery to me, but that hotel owner is a very interesting character. I will get back to it when I can handle more pain.

Update few months later: The twists and the turns though. Wow. I love all the children and how (so far) they are all portrayed as victims of circumstance. They are so sweet and I appreciate how Eun Ho, Dong Ryong and Min Sung’s relationships progress throughout the show. I’m also enjoying the character development of Sun Woo (the teacher/heir to the foundation). It’s also nice to see Cha Young-Jin begin to slowly open up. I’m enjoying the show a lot so far and am very intrigued by Baek Sang Ho’s group.

Final update: FINISHED it! Really loved this drama a lot. I love how all the characters are written so lovingly with so much depth to them. I liked the way the plot unraveled, I liked how all the relationships developed in the story, I loved the way forgiveness and morality were discussed. It was a really good drama and I am missing it already!

Chicago Typewriter

A re-watch. Man I love this drama. The three leads and their relationship is just adorable. 

I hope that in Shin Yul’s world/afterlife or whatever they can be happy together. <3 

Oh My Baby

I started this out because I was extremely bored and saw a few gifs of the show. It seems promising. Don’t have super high expectations of the show tbh. I do like the main couple though! They are adorable, nervously awaiting how it will conclude.

Update: Skipped a couple of episodes (4?) and went to the end. It ended up alright, very open ending and somewhat realistic. I’m glad the main characters were able to put their relationship above their disappointment in being infertile.

Strangers from Hell/ Hell is Other People

I really enjoyed it!! - If I were to recommend it to anyone I would recommend they go into it as blind as possible to enjoy it to the fullest.

So... I had no clue that this show was ONLY 10 episodes long, so imagine my surprise as the events that have been put to play begin to climax, I checked and was surprised that it wasn’t a 16 episode drama. Anyways, this drama had superb writing, directing, acting and fight scene choreography. Everything came together to really make this show have such a dark, creepy atmosphere that intensified as the episodes went on. I loved how the show portrayed how Yoon Joon Yoo/O’s mentality was tested to the breaking point. Tbh I thought he was slow in the beginning of the show (episode 1-2), but turned out that he did far better than his counterparts. I think that one thing that was a shame was they didn’t really show the strength of his relationship w his girlfriend too much before, and had they had more screen time as a couple I would have been even more invested in the story. 

Mystic Pop-up Bar

Loved it! This was a really enjoyable show. The pacing was good, the story was interesting and I liked watching the characters relationships develop. It was heartwarming and a fun watch! I enjoyed the focus on various people’s stories showcasing all sorts of relationships. 

It’s Okay Not to be Okay/ Psycho But It’s Okay

Put it on hold for now - watched up until episode 10-12ish.

Flower of Evil

The best kdrama of 2020 so far? Possibly.  Love how it mixes being a thriller with the marital relationship aspect. One potential con is that it seems that the mystery aspect of the show for now seems fairly obvious but how the situations will be handled keeps me on the edge of my seat!! Also I totally did not expect such a strong marriage to be shown in a thriller drama! Also the way that Cha Ji Won is written is just chef’s kiss. I love how complex she is, how intelligent, kind, caring and so so good at putting things together. I love Hyun So’s family and I hope it ends with them staying together.

Update: Finished it! Not sure how I feel about the very last episode... but I can say I’m glad that Do Hae Su got some crumbs in terms of character development by the end. So glad she didn’t end up with Moo Jin and started a new life abroad. The amnesia plot was unnecessary imo, I would have rather seen more cute scenes of them together than angst in the last episode. But, it was interesting to see how the trial was revealed, and the Baek’s got way better than they deserved which is unfortunately realistic.

Lie after Lie

Plot sounded way more interesting in the synopsis vs the execution. Mediocre plot which I thought was easy to see through.

Eighteen Again

sort of dnf? I made it to epi 14 or so and just finished it in my head and through gifs. It had so much potential which I think it squandered... but there were some genuinely heart warming scenes from the show which I really enjoyed. (Siwoo and his dad bonding, all the scenes showing the mc as the nicest dude).

I don’t want to be friends with you

I really enjoyed the show. I liked how it portrayed the mother-daughter relationship, the differences in how they were raised and how Li Jing Bu was able to get the love she so craved through her dream?/journey. I liked how the romance was handled, how she gained such meaningful relationships during the show and how important it was to her that her mom was happy.

The Good Detective (2020)

I really enjoyed this show! It was really cool to see a show that critiques the corrupt systems they have in place and the unexpected consequences that it can have on people. I liked how it touched on themes of guilt, remorse, forgiveness and resilience. Also, it was interesting to see a guy who has all the money in the world choose to be a workaholic detective.

Part 2

[jurassicwinchesters]

Summer Nights (Owen Grady x Reader)

Summary: when the reader’s new job turns her into a workaholic, Owen decides to take measures into his own hands. 

Pairing: Owen Grady x reader

Word count: 1600

Warnings: maybe some swearing?? but mostly just lots and lots of fluff

This was just a short, sweet little story that popped into my head today, enjoy!!! xoxo

Everything was a mess right now. Owen was busy with the raptors and Hoskins, my best friend Maya was back in California visiting her sister’s baby, and I just got promoted to overseer of all herbivore exhibits. Basically I was swamped every night, and so was Owen so we had no time to see each other anymore, and my best friend, and roommate, wasn’t even here to talk to about everything. I desperately needed a twelve hour nap and a bottle of tequila.

I slammed my phone back on the receiver, frustrated with the incompetent interns. All I asked for was for them to get the security team to sedate and relocate the sick triceratops, but for some reason the kid couldn’t figure out how to complete the simple task, and a tourist got hurt because of it. Now my ass was on the line for a stupid mistake an intern made. At least I would have the wicked pleasure of firing the kid.

“Here is the paperwork regarding the issue in sector seven today,” my boss said, dropping a thick stack of papers on top of my desk.

“Wait, Ms. Dearing, what happened in sector seven? I thought sector three was the only one with issues today,” I replied quickly, before she could walk out of my office.

“A worker took a bad hit to the leg from an apatosaurus tail, he might have a broken femur,” she responded with a smirk, clearly she was enjoying my drowning in paperwork. Claire and I used to have a better work relationship, until she found out Owen and I were dating. I don’t know if she was jealous or angry or what, but I honestly think the only reason she gave me the promotion was to dump twice the amount of paperwork on my desk as before, preventing me from ever getting home in time to see Owen.

“I’ll get right on it then,” I mumbled, she nodded and exited my office. I stood up and closed the door behind her, before returning to my desk and calling the number for my favorite takeout place. I knew it was going to be another late night.

“Babe it’s nine p.m, when are you planning on coming over for dinner?”

“I’m sorry Owen, it’s just the triceratops scared the tourist, and now the worker broke his leg, and I have a whole stack of paperwork to finish, on top of the weekly reports I still have to file, I just don’t think I’ll make it over tonight,” I explained sadly. I could hear him sigh at my excuses on the other end of the phone.

“Alright, but will I get to see you tomorrow night at least? It’s saturday night, you can’t be working that late again,” Owen whined, clearly as frustrated as I was about my new workload.

“I’ll try my best to get out by seven, at the earliest, but no guarantees.”

“Well, seven is better than nothing, I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you,” Owen told me sweetly.

I smiled as his words before telling him I loved him too and hung up. I stared back down at the mountain of paper below me, already feeling a headache coming on. I just sighed and took two advil before resuming my work.

-

The next morning I woke to the sound of a door slamming. I jumped up, realizing I fell asleep at my desk, again. I rolled my eyes as I looked at the clock, noticing it was only seven a.m. I got up to refill my coffee cup, before settling back into my chair, beginning my busy work once again.  

My day was filled with staff meetings, memo letters, and dealing with people who were unable to do their jobs. I fired two interns by noon, and had to deal with three visitors who claimed to have been attack by a baby brachiosaurus, which quite frankly, I didn’t think was possible. I could feel my body tense up with more and more stress as the day went on, and I really just wanted to see my boyfriend. I was also dealing with a lot of homesickness at the moment.

Summer was always my favorite season at home; days filled with sand and sun and salty hair, evenings occupied with bonfires and s’mores and night swims. Even though the weather was always summertime weather here, I still knew that it was mid-July, and my evenings should be filled with stargazing and drinking around the fire, not paperwork and unnecessary customer complaints. I just wanted to have my freedom back, I craved the feeling of not having a care in the world as I skinny-dipped with friends, or took night rides in the jeep with all the doors off.

“Miss Y/l/n, someone’s here to see you,” my assistant said from my doorway, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded and dismissed her, looking up to see Owen walk through my glass office doors.

“Owen! What are you doing here?”

“I came to bust you out of this place,” he said with a confident smirk. He walked over to where I sat at my white desk, pulling me out of my leather chair.

“But, I’m not done yet, and if I don’t get these reports in my tonight Claire will have my head on a stick,” I rambled on, before glancing down at the time on my computer. “Holy shit, it’s eight-thirty already?”

“Yes, which is why I decided to take immediate action and go straight to Claire. You’re good to leave for the night, I have a fun evening planned for us. You need it anyway, I’m starting to get concerned for your health,” my boyfriend said with a laugh as he eyed me up. I rolled my eyes at him, even though I’m sure I did look like shit, and then took his hand as he dragged me out of this dreaded building.

-

After we arrived at Owen’s bungalow, I showered, threw on a swimsuit and one of his old t-shirts, per Owen’s instructions, before joining him outside. When I saw what was waiting for me, I was about ready to burst out in tears.

There was an old loveseat sitting next to a crackling bonfire, pillows and blankets were piled on the cozy looking couch, making it look very warm and inviting. An open cooler sat next to it, stocked with beers, and a tray with all the fixings for s’mores sat on the picnic table. Old rock played softly in the background, coming from Owen’s ancient radio he fixed up. But that whole setup wasn’t even the best part.

I looked past the bonfire to the dock that led into the lake. Candles lined the dock, all the way to the end, where my boyfriend stood. The water surrounding the dock was sprinkled with lilies and lily pads holding more candles. Owen stood at the end of the dock with his swimsuit on. I laughed out of pure happiness as I ran to where he waited for me. I practically jumped into his arms, and he swung me around, chuckling at my enthusiasm.

“You really did all of this for me?”

“What kind of question is that. Of course I did this for you,” he replied as I looked up at his face. At his answer, my tears really did start to fall. He brushed the away with a swipe of his thumbs, before pulling me in for a sweet kiss. I melted into him, letting everything other than him slip out of my mind in this moment. I pulled away long enough to strip down into my swimsuit and yell, “Last one in the lake has to cook breakfast tomorrow!”

Owen suddenly grabbed my waist, and pulled me into the water with him. I let out a playful scream as we hit the water, falling in all tangled with each other. The water was warm and silky on my skin, feeling very refreshing. Owen and I roughhoused and swam in the water for a while, it could’ve been minutes or hours but I couldn’t tell, there wasn’t any measure of time in this moment.

After drying off and changing into clean clothes, we snuggled into the loveseat. The fire was still hissing and crackling, and the coals were nice and hot, making them perfect for roasting marshmallows. We both slid a marshmallow on the end of our sticks, and roasted them to perfection. Except perfection according to Owen was burnt to a crisp. We laughed over his inability to even cook a simple s’more, and then we stuffed our faces with the gooey deliciousness.

“How you managed to get marshmallow on your nose is beyond me,” Owen laughed at me, wiping the tip of my nose. I just smiled up at him and planted a sticky kiss on his cheek. I laid back on the couch, curling into him as he wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me in close, and kissed my forehead before leaning back and looking up at the night sky.

We laid in each other arms in silence for what seemed like hours, just watching the night sky. Thousands of twinkling stars glittered above us, and even the occasional shooting star made an appearance, making us both shout out ridiculous wishes everytime. As I lay there I listened to the lull of the music, the crackle and pop of the fire, and the chirping crickets off in the woods, the night truly couldn’t get anymore ideal than this.

“I love you Owen Grady, thank you for this, I really needed this,” I told him, breaking the silence.

“I love you more Y/n Y/l/n,” Owen said back softly. He leaned over to kiss me deeply and swiftly, sending tingles down my spine and butterflies in my stomach. He pulled me in closer, making me feel safe and warm. Quite honestly, I would be content just to lie out here in Owen’s arms forever.

[hotcocosharing]

Lose To Win Chapter 20: Wish Comes True

Title: Lose To Win Chapter 20 Fandom: Kiss By The Baddest Bidder & Her Love In The Force Rated: Drama, Thriller, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Mystery? MPD’s MC: Mika HIJIKATA KBTBB’s MC: Mia SAKATA Characters: Goto, Kaga, Shuichi, Eisuke, Soryu, Mamoru, Baba, Ota

Summary: Soryu, Mika & Kaga had threesome, well if you miss it, go have some fun here. Seeing the world through their eyes while one with Kaga’s POV, they have got some BAD News- assassins on the cruise. Twist after twist during Kaga’s investigation too…. (more summary at the end of fic)

Tagging:  adrienneloves so you’d know what happens to Soryu and Mika. silver-red-rose & hifftn who’ve always been here for me :’( Thank you! I know this series is taking forever and if you’ve missed my feeds or simply want to know what happens next, let me know and I’ll tag you. Background: Mika went to the Tres Spades Hotel under Eisuke’s request. (Order) and led to seeing her ex- Hyogo Kaga. With Jin Namba’s persuasion, Eisuke agrees to work with Public Safety, going on an eight days cruise trip with Kaga, Goto and Mika. What kind of mystery and danger await? You have no idea!

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ Chapter 1: The Reunion Chapter 2: RSVP Chapter 3: Recharge Chapter 4: Welcome Back Chapter 5: Decision Of A Lifetime Chapter 6: Our Story Chapter 7: Stress Release Chapter 8: Play Thing Chapter 9: What The Three Words Mean Chapter 10: A Real Man Chapter 11: The CEO Chapter 12: Boarding Chapter 13: What Did You Wish For? Chapter 14: Don’t Tease Me Chapter 15: One Hell Of A Night Chapter 16: Feeling Lucky? Chapter 17: Left In The Past Chapter 18: Poker Face Chapter 19: To Victory

Chapter 20: Wish Comes True

PS: I’ve included links on previous chapters to refresh some memories

Soryu’s World Surprise to find himself alone in the room with Mika lying so peacefully on the same bed nearly has Soryu Oh fooled that they are no longer on the cruise for a ridiculous so-called mission or in his wildest dream to wish that she and he could have met in completely different circumstances. The pain of knowing how much she despises him nearly vanishes without a trace till she swifts and turns to the other side, leaving Soryu to sit up straight with trains of bitterness and vivid images of their shared steamy moments with Kaga emerges in his pounding head. He could deny it all he wants but it doesn’t change the fact that his hope of having the slightest chance with Mika Hijikata is totally crushed.

In truth, Soryu has plenty of time to shower but perhaps he isn’t quite ready to wash away the last proof of their intimacy just yet. Heading straight to Eisuke’s suite first thing has somehow become a habit of his, so natural that he never thinks twice about it. As annoying as Eisuke can be, Soryu feels at ease with him though it would be better not see the drunken state of the others or entering a room which reeks of alcohol.

The serious look on Eisuke’s face has Soryu on high alert and immediately tossing whatever’s been bothering his mind out the door. "You’ll need to find out everything on Akihiro Saji and his wife, she could be useful since you had fucked her already.“

Clearing his throat uncomfortably as Mia places down Eisuke’s coffee, Soryu glares at his best friend who shrugs in return. Even knowing that Mia has always been shy and blushes over-easily still bother Soryu. Whether she’s the twin of Mika or the possibility of her spilling his "secret” during sister’s talk, it still greatly bothers him when others know his business.

After a quick call to Samejima, Soryu leaves the VIP suites and meets him in his room, still wondering if he should get the Public Safety involves in this. Eisuke doesn’t trust them fully, of course, and neither does Soryu enjoys working with the police but if it’s beneficial then what’s the harm? Once he has finished typing, he reads the message twice before sending with the question of how Mika would react if she finds out he has slept with someone else, the wife of their person of interest. Would she be jealous? Would she care at all? Exhaling heavily, Soryu rests his eyes a bit and lets his mind brings him back to the night he’s spent with Chiyoko- the mysterious and seductive woman he now regrets terribly forever laying eyes on. (click to read what happened previously)

Mika’s World You shudder awake, sitting up with sore legs and glancing around the room to find no one but yourself. The sun peeks through the curtains as you clutch the luxurious and soft covers to your chest, wanting the last piece of comfort before dragging yourself out of bed. (Well, you need time to feel your legs again.)

Time is one thing you don’t have yet letting your impulsiveness get the better of you has earned you some rare but incredible threesome between your ex and a mobster you swear not to get involved with again. Honestly, you have such little self-control when it comes to men, perhaps you should quit drinking for good. 

After a rushed shower, you head back into the shared room with Goto- thankfully he isn’t there to witness your walk of shame. Once you’ve changed into something decent, you hurry back to the cafe just in time for the last round of buffet breakfast. Guests are chit chatting, gossiping about the poker game and how their wishes have come true. You can’t help but suspect the ulterior motive of the stunt and this whole cruise experience, seriously where the heck is Goto and Kaga when you need them?!

Then speak of the devil, you see Kaga sitting at a corner table with his eyes set on the same waitress who he’s helped last night. Without jumping to conclusion, you wait and watch him. He must have good reasons to be onto her, Kaga being himself is just reluctant to share this information.

20 minutes later, the waitress is due for her break and Kaga follows but just as you reluctantly leave the delicious omelet unfinished, an elderly man who stumbles onto your ex has stopped him from following his target. And you know damn well that Hyogo Kaga stops at nothing when it comes to a case so something else is up. A text from Goto has however changed your priority as it says, “Our room, now!” Without asking where you’ve been all night or what you’re doing prior returning to the room, Goto wears a far more serious expression on his face which has you curious. “I had a call with chief this morning and Soryu Oh just then. We have leads.” “Good news then?”

The expected question doesn’t seem to lighten up his mood as he pulls out two photos, “This is Star and Hakura.” “That’s the waitress Kaga has eyes on.”

Hearing a sigh from your roommate and longtime friend, Goto looks at you with his eyes darken before spilling the juice of the news. “They are trained assassins.”

Silence shrouds the room, his words hang in the heavy air as you try to make sense of it all. Ayumu must have told Kaga at some point but Mr. Know it all simply doesn’t care to share with any of you, not because he doesn’t trust you he’d defend. Curse his freaking motto of the fewer people know about it the better, why can’t he ever learn! Hasn’t he been through enough times to know to always trust his team? Why does he always have to play solo and hero when none of you need that sort of nonsense and protection. Goto goes on explaining what Jin has said, this whole cruise trip is considered as some kind of test run with specific requests or targets from special guests. There could a possible hit list and that stunt of wish comes true must be the front for this special service. Head in your hands with fingers pressing lightly into your temples, you’d feel the irritation creep along with a headache and patience already running thin just by imagining the conversation you would have with Eisuke Ichinomiya. 

Kaga’s POV

By the fourth cup of coffee, the bloody waitress is finally taking a break. She might even get in touch with the other target if I’m lucky, someone else has distracted me just as I am about to follow her to the staffs’ exit. An elderly man with short grey hair and a neatly trimmed beard in a long brown coat keeps apologizing while his shaky hands hold onto the briefcase in his chest like his dear life depends on it. I look and watch the girl leaves my sight, I could have caught up to her but my instinct tells me otherwise.

The secret Mr. Hijikata (Mia and Mika dad, see here for details) has shared now rings in my head so I follow a new target instead. Could this be the worried father? Is he paying ransom or still anxiously waiting for instructions? I don’t exactly have a plan but things often turn out fine, even when they don’t, I’ll find a way. I always do. With his shoulders slumped and eyes checking his surrounding every three minutes, the man does fit the type. The briefcase he’s carrying isn’t big enough for a large sum of bills unless he’s been asked to deliver the cash separately. Despite how easy this seems to be, he’s approached by the pretty blonde I’ve been watching whole morning. Playing the helpful staff, she points and escorts the man to another direction. Slowly and slyly trailing behind the two, I find myself in an empty deck after they’ve turned into a corner. Either they vanish into thin air or they’d walk right through walls. The unexpected turn of events continues as I turn to see the mob boss giving me an unpleasant look. Not that I give a damn but it’d be such fun to mock and remind him of last night, his stern tone of warning becomes extra alarming. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing that concerns you.” Before I’d push his hands away from my shoulders or tell him to fuck off. A sharp and low groan escapes Soryu Oh’s clenched teeth as something small barely grazes past my cheek. Turning to the right, there’s a dark figure bailing. 

The deck is quiet, the sea remains calm, no one has heard a thing. A silencer must have been used but the newly heavyweight that hangs over my shoulder has my attention shifted, momentarily. 

Dragging the mobster for cover, he quickly falls to the ground with a thud. “You’re not dying yet, are you tough guy?“

I couldn’t really see his face as my eyes are back to where the shot’s fired. "I’ll get help.” With one last glance at the wounded man, I lift myself up and climb over to the next deck, chasing the sniper who’s about to disappear but the image of Soryu Oh lying on the floor with the shades of dark red soaking through his dress shirt has occupied my mind, momentarily, again. Multitasking is not my thing, let alone running and calling at the same time but all I’d manage is pressing speed dial and yelling without thinking. “Sixth floor, north-west corner outside the cafe, NOW!”

NOTES: This has not been easy, not in the slightest way. Frankly, the real drama is only just beginning, I have much more planned but not well plotted. Smut is easy, angst is a piece of cake but connecting the dots with only certain scenes/ideas- it’s getting tough. To every single one who’s been following and reading this series, thank you. I understand sometimes it’s hard to know what to comment but reading it still makes me happy- at least someone is bothered to read my work (one that I’ve spent hours and weeks, even months finishing.)

I love writing this series, especially when I have so much pain and sorrow in mind but not being able to put them together more or less stress me out. 

Storywise- if you aren’t too sure what just happened, here- 1. Soryu told Goto that he had slept with Chiyoko (Wife of Akihiro Saji- the man who owns this cruise) while Goto exchanged info there are 2 assassins  2. The waitress Kaga kept an eye on is Star (the female assassin who’s also a reader character from makingastar ) 3. The nervous guest Kaga was trailing is the client of Eiji Hijikata- Mika & Mia dad who’s a former cop and now private investigator on the cruise as a child’s life is at stake (the client’s son is kidnapped, ransom to be collected on cruise) 4. Soryu was shot, yes Kaga left him so he’d chase after the shooter.

See how much is going on?! But there’s MORE!

[hasansonsuzceliktas]

Women and Their Signs

Today, I want to inform you (especially the men) about some key features of the Zodiac signs. You must know there’s a marvelous question that can get normally quiet women to talk for hours with other women: “What’s your sign?” When a woman asks this question to another woman, you can bet your bottom dollar that the conversation will not just flow; it will cascade! Today, I want to inform you (especially the men) about some key features of the Zodiac signs. Later, there will be a test, so have your paper ready and your pencils sharpened. Aries This is Miss Wisenheimer. She knows it all, guys. The phrase “Would you help, please” is not in her vocabulary. An Aries woman goes off half-cocked, and she’s alone as far as adventure is concerned. She’s dominant and wants to dominate her man, but once she achieves this domination, she can no longer respect him. She wants to sail away, but once she does, she realizes that she has sailed much too far. Sometimes you want to say to her, “What on earth do you want, woman?” She doesn’t gossip, copy, or cheat. She drives at 60mph when the speed limit is 70mph, always sticking to the rules and having no tolerance for lies and bad discipline. If you don’t keep your promises, I warn you that you’ll feel her wrath. She’s curious about the spiritual realm, meaning you can conjure the spirits with her. There’s also a party animal inside her, so you can paint the town red until dawn with her. Taurus Here comes the goddess of aphorism! O’ Woman, can’t you just act clearly once in a while. Say you love someone, or say you’re upset, but just say it. Everything is aphorismic, and everything is citations. Ask a Taurus woman where she’s going, and she’ll likely tell you something like, “The world stands aside for the person who knows where to go.” Man, why not just tell me you’re visiting your sister or something? Even if she isn’t always good at finding words for her feelings, Taurus is one of the rare signs whose people know exactly what they want from their careers. She does whatever she sets her mind on, but once she falls in love, along comes the warm slippers and comfortable sweatpants, and she’s ready to go to the kitchen and make her man a sandwich. However, if you’re not sure you can return the same amount of effort and esteem, I advise you to run to the hills, because she’s pretty bloody minded in such situations. Gemini Not just two but literally ten women live inside this one. Did I mention that she’s the most uncanny specimen of all? One moment she’s making merry, and the next you discover that she packs quite a punch. Her system rejects men that keep her sweet, and she almost goes for those who get her back up. She’s talkative and fun, and she loves to travel. Remember that if you decide to take her out for dinner, you won’t see a scrap of food on your table for at least three hours. She usually talks to the waiter for some time, asking questions like, “Do you serve chicken? And do you have pasta. Oh yes, there it is. I think I’ll have the tuna then.” If you notice a meal being sent back in a restaurant, you can be certain it’s the work of a female Gemini. They look younger than they are, because their sign is the most youthful one. It’s only natural, seeing as they don’t hesitate to chew people’s asses out whenever they see fit; they just can’t hold back. Kudos to Gemini. Keep it up sister, honestly. Cancer This is the only sign that tries to look tough but messes it up almost every time. You feel something warm, sweet, and balmy inside when you talk to her. But yes, you guessed it right. That balmy mess happens to be your brain. She can talk about relationships for three days straight. She’s the most adept at not listening to you, pretending to listen instead. You can talk about anything, and she will still have rabbits jumping around in her head. If you would call her to tell her that the world is ending,  she would say, “So that’s why he left me. Otherwise he wouldn’t have had the heart to, aww…” For a Cancerian woman, every little thing in the universe was made for her and her lover. She’s an early riser through and through, often happily waking up at 5am. She’s sincere and funny, and you miss her every moment she’s away. She can hide her emotional nature with her wits and rascally nature. She cannot stand criticism and negligence, so be careful you don’t indulge in these! Leo She’s the queen, guys. She’s got the swagger. She’s very fond of luxury and splendor, wiping her behind with dollar bills whenever it’s possible. She keeps her friends close, and if, God forbid, she sees a friend’s boyfriend with another girl, she’s quick to put the boot in. She has a real disregard for positive sciences, and no matter which department she graduates from, she thinks she’s in the wrong one. If you let them, all Leos would be painters, musicians, and advertising agents. She’s very sensitive and clever, but she’s unable to tolerate ordeals. She’s so busy with herself that if you tell her that all hell has broken loose, she’ll just think about the perfume to wear while heading to safety. She chooses her lovers from a pool of the most impossible men and then tries to make men of them. She’s quick to make innuendos, riddling you with these bullets, so handle her with great care. Virgo She has a constant melancholic expression, revealing an ongoing agony in her eyes. She’s restless and really cannot stand a life of rest. She may wear a poker face, but she actually loves to gossip. She’s chummy and longsuffering, so much so that there’s no end to this. She plays it cool. She’s a stylish person, and even a sack would look good on her. She makes an ideal roommate at college. Being neat and tidy, she scrubs the bathroom, mops the floor, and never makes a big deal of it. Virgo is probably the only sign that doesn’t like to be on the front burner. The devil is not in the details—it’s in Virgo. She picks one word from your five-page essay and finds some underlying, nonexistent meaning that she can take offense at, dumping you without a second thought. Do not offend a Virgo. Mark my words: Go easy on her, and think twice before saying anything. Good luck. Libra A Libran woman is somewhere between Mother Theresa and Lady Gaga. She soon falls in love and forgets just as quickly. She cannot decide whether she wants to get married and have children or make an album and go on a music tour. She’s strategic and skillful at interpersonal affairs. She takes four suitcases on a daytrip. Even if a storm is breaking within her heart, her face always shows the enigmatic expression of the Mona Lisa. She cooks just fine when she wants to, but only if she really wants to. She’s skilled at housework, cooking, and dentistry. She’s indolent, typically choosing her lovers from her inner circle and going loopy once she falls in love. Her blood pressure goes down when faced with uncertainty. She’s sharp and impatient, and for this reason, everything must be clear. Are you in love or not? Are you a gentleman or a rogue? The biggest favor you can do for a Libran woman is to not waste her time, otherwise it’s surely you who will be laid to waste. Scorpio This one always has her own way. She’s posh and loves artsy things. She’s a real showoff, but she doesn’t level with people easily or get close to them. Don’t ever talk through your hat to a Scorpio. She’s also a mother hen, and healing, treating, and feeding are instinctive behaviors for her. Although she cannot argue her way out of a paper bag, she continually criticizes herself. She isn’t envious, but she’s definitely jealous. Her favorite drink is diet coke. She sometimes has a taste for black and sometimes for white, but it’s always with a passion. She lives on the edge, sometimes so far on the edge that her cellphone loses its signal. If she blows her stack, the mother earth she is may suddenly turn into a leather-clad rebel priestess, so try not to annoy her. What’s more, she’s so psychically inclined that she can read you like an open book, even when this book is still blank. If she ever spots a lie in your head, prepare to be blown away. She spends her money carefully, usually preferring to go out on her own. Sagittarius Look what the cat dragged in! She’s God’s baseball bat, if you get what I mean. Abuse her trust or put her off, and she’ll bust you like a traffic cop with a quota to meet. She walks so proud that if her nose fell off, she wouldn’t deign to stop and look down at it. She analyzes everything. Take your leave if she ever starts gibbering, “You say that, but you actually mean this.” She will fly her lover to the moon, but she forgets to keep hold of him. She never rises to wealth, because even if she made a billion dollars in a month, she would lavishly throw it around. Her mood is unstable, and she can turn from Walt Disney into Alice Cooper in the blink of an eye. She likes to learn things, constantly trying something new, such as fitness training, Latin dancing, diets, wrestling, and so on, but she never sees them through. She’s most successful in her career and so feminine with her laughter. A Sagittarian woman is loyal, and she doesn’t dismiss anyone unnecessarily. If you make a fool of her, though, she’ll run you through. Capricorn You can easily mistake this one for a duchess or countess. She’s wary and skeptical, and this is the reason behind her squint. A woman of Capricorn is royal and prudent, never putting her pants on one leg at a time. I say this because she’s cooler, calmer, and more collected than you and I could ever be. She’s careful in her career decisions, and she doesn’t usually make mistakes. She doesn’t hobnob with people, rarely warming or taking a dislike to people, but once she lets you into her life, she will never leave you in the lurch. These women tend to go through an identity crisis at an early age, just so they can overcome it. You could easily become hysterical from their excessive realism. When you tell her that in ten years you’ll be sipping wine together in Tuscany, she’ll tell you to pay off your home loan first. Since she’s the figurative great granddaughter of Henry VII, she maintains her composure at all costs. She’s quick in cutting the ignorant off. Do not make her cry, or she’ll bump you off for sure. Aquarius Aquarians are crazy about gossip until it’s just no fun anymore. An Aquarian woman thinks she has a genius inside, but no one ever saw her invent a thing. She’s in love with her wits and has a permanently swollen ego. It’d be great if some modesty accompanied her sweet ego, but it’s just one of those things. She loves her friends. Well, not just loves, she loses her marbles and falls off her rocker where her friends are concerned. She likes commitment and loathes dependence. She’s almost masculine in her relationships. She bosses, commands, abuses, and dominates, and she would eventually grow a penis if she went the extra mile. She doesn’t even let the man lead in the wedding dance, because she has to dominate in all things. She’s sophisticated, but she might believe that too much culture is bad for her health, so she goes to a charity sale after visiting an art museum, or to a Hank Williams Jr. concert after a Verdi opera. She’s familiar with the tabloid press, so much so that she could be a magazine reporter. She’s incredibly funny and practical. She could rule the world if she wasn’t so lazy, but come on, we’re talking about someone who doesn’t even remove her make-up before bed. Pisces This one cries easily, and there’s no way you can discover the reason why. She could be moved to tears just by looking at a window steaming up. She has private jokes that only she can understand. She begins her relationships as if they will be her last, and when they’re over, she claims her lover was a schizophrenic or so anyway. She’s a daydreamer, but not romantic in the sense of fluffy love stories. She may laugh in her lover’s face whenever he is reciting a love poem to her. She’s grateful for small blessings, but she may also get the blues from just about anything. Despite her overwhelming romanticism, she’s incredibly resilient against hardship. Her ideal profession is as a judge, because she can’t stand injustice. She’s so fond of appearances that she wouldn’t even drink a mocha if it didn’t have cinnamon on it. She usually ends up being the one in the wrong, because she blurts things out that she should have said at the end of the conversation. She then pouts, claiming that the whole world is against her. Most women of Pisces are good cooks, and they make great wives and mothers. Read the full article

[nicknchris09]

Old Friends Chapter 10 Unexpected Friendship

The next few days went by quickly.  I never was too keen on the kids meeting guys so quickly.  But Seth was different.  He left after spending some time with us.  Afterwards, we talked all the time on the phone or skyped.  I always was ready to see his face as I missed him.  He made plans again to come for Dani's birthday and see me and the kids again.  Devon didn't really get close to Seth yet but Dani, she was attached to him.  She kept asking for him and it made me smile.  She didn't get close to men expect for her father.  So, it was huge she was close to him.  Finally the day came for Seth to come, I wanted to go to the airport to get him but he took his private jet so he made plans were I could get back there.  I was parked on the airport runway as I waited for his plane to come in.  I watched as I saw it land and park.  After some time just waiting, the door open and I got out of the car.  I saw Seth appear from the plane and walk down the stairs.  I smiled as I was happy to see him.  I ran over to him and jumped into his arms.  I was more then happy to see him.  He laughed and asked, "Did you miss me?"

I smiled.  "Of course, baby."

He kissed me and I moved away from him when we broke the kiss.  He grabbed his bags and put them in the car.  We got in and drove away.  Once we got to the house and inside, I was all over him.  He broke the kiss as he laughed at how excited I was.  Then he asked, "Where are the kids?"

I smiled and said, "Dave took them for the night.  He is going to to me at the park in the afternoon for the party.  So, we have the house to ourselves."

He hitched an eyebrow.  "Really?"

"Yeah."  My smile got bigger.  "We are all alone."

Without another word, his lips were on mine and he moved us to the couch.  We never made it to my bedroom as we wanted each other right then.  After we were done, I laid on his chest as I was in between his legs.  I was relaxed as I was happy to have him.  He was going to be here a week this time.  I was glad we didn't have to rush our time together.  I laid there, content.  "God, I hate being away from you."

"Me too, love."  I heard him say.  

I smiled at this as I just laid there.  I, then, felt his fingers run through my hair and I started to enjoy the touch.  I relaxed even more and closed my eyes.  Then I heard Seth say, "So, will Dave be there tomorrow?"

"Of course."  I said.

"Oh."  I only heard him say.

I looked up and noticed that he wasn't thrilled.  I asked, "What's wrong?"

He shook his head.  "Nothing."  He lied.

Then I sat up and said, "No, I know something is up."

"Just it will be weird that I will be there and so will your ex husband."  He said.

I smiled at him.  "No, it won't.  Look, he is cool about me dating and isn't like a jealous freak.  Him and I are friends.  We will always be.  It is our daughter's birthday, we want to make sure we both are there, for her, for both of our kids.  No need to be weirded out by it.  It will be great.  And Dave likes you."

I almost laugh.  "He doesn't even know me really.  We only met like twice."

"He saw what you did to win me back, he likes you as he even said that most guys wouldn't do what you did.  He knows I mean something to you.  He wants to see me happy and I want to see him happy.  We weren't happy together.  That doesn't mean we decided to just act like that the other doesn't exist.  He is my best friend and I am his.  Plus, his girlfriend and I are really close.  She is really sweet."  I told him.

"Girlfriend?"  He seemed relieved.

I moved over him and laid my chest on his.  "Oh, so I see what is going through that head.  Worries you that cause him and I are so close that something is still there."  He seemed ashamed and I smiled.  I took his lips with mine as I kissed him, softly.  I pulled away and said, "No need to worry, baby.  I have wanted you for years.  I promise, once you hang out with all of us, you will see.  There is nothing left between Dave and I.  Miranda, his girlfriend, needed to do that too to realize the same thing.  She was worried at first too but now she is totally cool with us hanging together.  Just wait, once you are around us, you will be cool with it too."

He smiled.  "Okay."

I moved in and kissed him again.  It started to progress again.  He broke the kiss and asked, "Can we moved this to the bedroom?  The couch is a bit small."

I slightly chuckled and moved off of him as I stood up.  I saw him eyeing my body as he grew aroused again.  "Come on, baby.  I see you want the goods, so come and get it."  I said as I walked away.

He quickly followed as he got to me and moved his arms around my waist.  He kissed my neck as we moved into my bedroom.  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seth's POV

It was the next day.  After spending some one on one time with Maggie all morning long, we got ready and headed to the park.  I was a little worried with being around her ex.  I couldn't lie.  I was jealous about their relationship but also understood it.  I guess the only reason I was jealous cause of the fact they were married and now have children together.  They will always have a bond with one another.  I think I envied him, honestly.  But Maggie wanted me to keep an open mind, and an open mind I will.  We pulled up to the park and Maggie asked me to help her decorate the picnic area for her daughter's party.  We got almost everything done when a few people started to show.  I was introduced to them and a few recognized me.  They seemed to be in awe that Maggie was with me.  She explained to them that she knew me for years, before I got famous.  As some time passed, I heard Dani's voice yell, "Mommy!"

I looked over to see Dani run over to Maggie and almost jump into her arms.  I smiled at this.  Her children definitely loved her.  Then Dani noticed me and said, "Seth!"

She almost leaped out of her mother's arms and into mine.  I smiled at this as I held her.  I asked, "How is the birthday girl doing?"

"Good."  She said with a smile.

Just then I heard Dave's voice say, "She seems to have taken to you quite quickly."

I looked up to see Dave, Devon, and a woman I didn't recognize.  I assumed it was his girlfriend.  Instantly, Devon took of to play with the other kids.  I smiled at Dave and looked at Dani.  "Yeah, I have taken to her too.  She's a smart girl."

"Oh, I know.  Definitely got that from her mother cause I am not that smart."  He joked.

I slightly chuckled.  Then Maggie joked, "What can I say?  She got the good stuff from me."

Dave rolled his eyes as he chuckled.  Then Maggie hugged him and said, "Glad you are here."

I looked away as they hugged as it did bother me.  Then I heard her say, "Oh, and Miranda, so glad you came."

I looked over and now she was hugging the woman.  When they pulled away, she said, "I couldn't miss my future step daughter's birthday."

Maggie's eyes lite up.  "Oh my god!  Are you serious?"

Miranda held up her left hand as to show off her ring on her ring finger and said, happily, "Yeah, he asked me last night at dinner with the kids there."

Maggie took her hand and looked at the ring as she grinned.  "Oh, I am so happy for you two."  Then she looked at Dave and said with a grin, "And you did good on the ring."

He rolled his eyes.  "You know that wasn't all my doing.  I got help and thanks for that by the way."

"You just needed a woman's opinion.  I was happy to help."  She said, happily.

"You knew?"  Miranda asked her.

Maggie nodded.  "Yeah, well, Dave told me he wanted to but had no clue on what kind of ring to get you, so I helped with that.  I just had no clue when he would do it."

Miranda smiled.  "Well, I am glad he had you to help him pick it out."

Then Dave looked over at me and smiled.  "Hey, Seth.  How are you?"  He held out his hand and I took it as I shook it.

"I'm good.  Just been busy working so I could take this week off to see Maggie."  I said to him as I released his hand.

"Yeah, I know she was looking forward to you visiting.  Hell, I think Dani was too.  She seems to like you a lot."  He said to me.

I looked over at Dani and smiled.  "I have grown quite fond of her too."

Then Maggie said, "Miranda, this is my boyfriend, Seth.  Seth, this is Miranda, Dave's now fiancee."

I shook her hand and said, "It's a pleasure."

I could tell she was looking at me hard as we let go.  She said as her eyes focused on my face, "Do I know you?  I feel like I have seen you before."

I chuckled at this and Dave said with a smile, "Yeah, about that.  I didn't tell you that Maggie's boyfriend is kinda famous."  She looked at him confused.  "You know how I just love Family Guy."  She nodded.  He pointed to me as he continued, "He is the guy behind it all."

She looked at me wide eyed and asked, "Seriously?"

I chuckled and nodded.  "Yeah, you can say Family Guy is my baby."

"Wow.  And how do you guys know him?"  She asked Dave and Maggie.  

Maggie said with a smile, "I actually went to college with his sister and we were roommates.  He would come to visit quite often.  I went to LA over the summer to spend time with his sister and you can say sparks flew between us."

"That is sweet."  Miranda almost awed.

I put Dani down and she ran off.  Maggie then said, happily, "Yeah, what can I say?  He captured my heart."

I looked at her as I smiled.  I moved an arm around her and pulled her close to me.  I kissed the top of her head and said, "You did one hell of a job capturing mine."

Then Dave put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Come on, Seth.  Help me out with the grill."

I looked at Maggie and she gave me a reassuring smile.  I looked back at him and nodded.  We moved over to the grill and started it up.  He started to cook and I stood there as he asked me to pass him a few things.  After sometime, he had it going and was cooking on it.  I looked over as Maggie who was talking to Miranda and a few other ladies, happily.  I smiled at this.  Then Dave asked, "You love her, huh?"

I looked at him as I saw him staring at me.  I thought this was awkward.  But I answered truthfully, "Yeah."

"Good."  He said.  "She needs a good guy like you, Seth.  The last guy she dated, he was a complete tool.  He left her heartbroken."

"He did?"  I asked as this was the first I was hearing of another ex.

"Yeah.  Jason did a number on Maggie.  Shortly after we divorced, they started dating.  At first, he seemed fine but after a while, he became cruel towards her.  Always treated her like dirty, cheated on her over and over.  She always stayed with him cause she was in love with him.  But she finally realized she deserved better and left him after the last infidelity.  I hated how he treated her.  Like I said, she is a good one."  He told me.

Then I asked, "Dave, why did you two divorce?  I mean, seeing you two together now and how you talk about her, it just doesn't make sense."

He smiled and said, "I love her, I do.  But we just fell out of love with one another while we were married.  We found we are great friends, but not happy with each other.  And that was okay.  We both decided on the divorce.  I was relieved she wanted the same thing.  We are great together as friends, just not as a couple.  I want to see her happy.  I do.  She is a great person.  Great mother.  I am grateful for one thing, that she is the mother of my children.  I will give you that.  She is my best friend and I know I have her to talk to as she does me.  I am glad we have that.  Especially for our children.  And our children will see how we are and know something else then what most kids see when their parents divorce.  They get their parents and it is better for them that we are like this."

I couldn't help it but smile at this.  They had an amazing relationship, unlike most people who divorce.  They really did put their kids first.  I was now more relaxed with the relationship.  Then Dave asked, "Can I ask you something?"  I looked at him and nodded.  "Did you have feelings for her when we got together?"

I looked away from him and said, softly, "Yeah."

"I thought I sensed something that day I met you."  He said to me.

I looked at him and asked, "You did?"

He nodded.  "Not just with you, but Maggie too.  I saw the look on her face, surprised and happy to see you but then her face fell quickly."

"I really was into her when she lived with my sister."  I admitted.

"I think Maggie was too.  I honestly think she didn't love me the way she thought she did.  I think she still was hung up on you."  He told me.  I looked away as I did feel bad that I might have been a cause in their martial issues.  He noticed.  "Don't kick yourself about it, Seth.  I understand.  I really do.  I'm not angry about it.  I am actually glad she found you again.  She, honestly, seems happy now.  That is all I want for her."  Then he looked at me and smiled.  "Just treat her good, Seth.  That is all I ask."

I nodded as I smiled.  "I promise, I can do that."

He put his hand on my shoulder.  "Good, then you and I will be great friends then."

My smile got bigger at this as knowing if Maggie and I were to have a relationship, I needed to be on good terms with Dave and that looked to be happening between us.  He seemed like a good guy and I understood now that I had nothing to worry about.  He seemed to really only wanted Maggie to be happy.

Previous Chapter / Masterlist / Next Chapter

[chelsorz07]

two in a row...must have been a rough week back in 2010

Old me/new me. I’m in a shitty mood so I have a feeling it’s mostly the same me.

Who sits next to you in english?

not in school. Haven’t been in school for over ten years so now I don’t even remember.

If someone liked you what would be the best way to let you know?

um, tell me? Just don’t. 

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

my dad. My cats because I have very little human contact.

Would you consider your parents to be strict?

not anymore. they don't care. My dad got way more chill over the years. My mother will never change, even though I’m almost 30.

Have you ever tackled someone to the ground?

probably. I really don’t think so.

Is your last name longer than 6 letters?

it is six. Nope. It’s 5 letters now.

What was the last thing you wore that was black?

bra. My current pants.

Do you say the F word a lot?

all the time. Like every other word.

What happened a year ago in this month?

fuck you. Idk probably a lot of me working and being alone.

What’s the last thing that went into your mouth?

mike's hard lemonade. Cigarette.

When was the last time you laughed really hard that you cried?

tonight. I don’t even remember.

Do you have a mirror in your room?

yup. No. There’s one in the cats’ bedroom though.

How about a tv?

yeah it's a piece. Yeah it’s the same POS I had seven years ago. And two years before that. Actually there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just tiny.

Do you have alcohol in your house?

quite a bit. Little bit of wine, even littler bit of whiskey, and a lot of beer. None of it will be consumed.

Did you like anyone last summer?

FUCK YOU. I mean I’m married so.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?

fuuuuuuuhuck you. Try eight and a half years.

If someone told you that you were a player, what would you say back?

i'm gonna become one. cuz i'm fucking sick of getting screwed over. I’d say that’s hilarious because I’ve only ever really been with one person.

How old will you be in 5 years?

26. 33.

What happened at 09:00 am today?

gave randa some breakfast. I was at work. And it’s after midnight so it was technically yesterday. But I have to work again this morning. Morning shifts can suck my crank.

Is any part of your body sore?

all of it since i started working out. My entire body hurts all the time. Psoriatic arthritis probs.

Last night you felt?

like shit again. go figure. Tired, depressed, annoyed, in pain, bored. 

Are you taller than 5’5”?

yep. An inch.

Stayed single almost the whole year?

SHUT THE FUCK UP. Haven’t been single since the last time I took this survey.

Told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else?

i don't even tell them where i'm going anymore. they don't care. I’m an adult.

What if the last person you texted told you they had feelings for you?

he has. he does. sucks to be him that i can't get over the last person i was with before him. I’d say what we’ve both been saying for years, that we should have just married each other. That way we could fuck who we want and not worry about screwing each other over because she’s my hetero life mate fo lyfe.

What are you drinking?

mike's hard lemonade. Nothing. I’m waiting for the Mountain Dew I put in the fridge to get cold.

Do you have clothes that are not yours?

i still have dave's sweatpants that he let me wear on new years last year....depressing as fuck. Dave and I share clothes all the time. And I have some t-shirts that I stole from my sister like fifteen years ago and she’s never getting them back.

Is sex the most important thing in a relationship?

no. Apparently it doesn’t even chart.

If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?

ugh. one person. no matter what anyone says. or what i say. I have. Twice.

Got in any fights this year, 2010?

not physical ones. verbal, pretty much every day. I don’t get in fights. It’s not worth it.

Have you ever liked someone who treated you super shitty?

every day of my fucking life. Every day of my fucking life.

What do you look like right now?

like a drunk ass bitch with issues. Like I need a nap and a shower.

Cried recently?

daily. Last time I cried was yesterday morning because I put on the wrong jeans and they didn’t fit and I didn’t have time so I had a mental breakdown and left late.

Do you like sushi?

no. I do not eat fish of any kind.

Do you find it weird that some people brush their teeth in the shower?

kind of. Yeah I’ve tried it. I don’t like the sensation of brushing my teeth with hot water.

Describe how you’re feeling today:

dr. unk. Like shit.

Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?

pretty sure it was chele. and she's like my best friend. and future roommate. It was Amanda. And like I said, hetero life mate.

Have you ever been in a hotel room with a friend of the opposite sex?

yepppppppp. You know, I cannot for the life of me remember who besides my family I could’ve ever been in a hotel room with at that point in my life. But I have several times since then.

Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yeah. I guess.

Do you hate when people smoke around you?

no. No but I’m sure they hate it when I smoke around them.

You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?

lip. I’ve always toyed with the idea but don’t think I’d actually do it.

What would your mom do if she read all your text messages?

it's really not her business, no matter what they say. so i don't care what she'd do. Tell me I’m nuts like she does when she reads my facebook posts.

Do you like cuddling?

yes. Depends on my mood. Sometimes I’m just like, don’t fucking touch me.

Do you dislike anyone right now?

i dislike everyone. That’s still pretty accurate.

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?

i don't sleep anymore. If it even is night when I try to sleep, several hours.

What's running through your mind right now?

i hate my life. What’s gonna happen to our house fund when Dave decides he just has to have a brand new Cadillac when he’s already put over 60 grand into the one he has now.

Would you ever live with anyone of your friends?

i plan to, very soon. I have lived with some of them.

What are you listening to?

nothing. Supernatural.

Who was your last text from?

chele i think. Text, Dave. But more recently I was facebook messaging Amanda.

Do you currently have a hickey? Where?

no. it's been over a month. I haven’t had a hickey since (apparently) over a month before the last time I took this survey.

Anything you would change about your life right now?

EVERYTHING. Where I live.

What color are your eyes?

hazel. I mean yeah but they’re more green.

Are you wearing any jewelry?

my lion silly band. if that counts. hope he's wearing his too. Wedding ring, engagement ring, antique ring on the other hand, and Dave’s wedding ring on a necklace because he’s not allowed to wear it at work.

How often do you give out second chances?

to one person and one person only. Anymore? I don’t.

A random person you don't know says they like you, what do you say?

don't care. Still don’t care.

Are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips?

not really. kinda hard to date from 700 miles away. We’re married.

Have you ever kissed more than one person in the same night?

nope. Actually yeah lol...one time we were all shitty on Four Loko and Teej tried to make out with me (he’s gay but kisses everyone when he’s drunk) and I was with Dave the same night.

Do you always answer your phone?

hardly ever. I don’t answer my phone. Like if you can’t text me, you don’t need to talk to me. Don’t call.

Someone phones you at 3:00 AM. Who do you expect it to be?

don't care. If anyone is gonna call me at all, let alone at that hour, it better be an emergency. So I’d expect it to be my family. Even though I hope that never happens.

Were you dating anyone this time of year last year?

i seriously hate you. I was married to someone this time of year last year.

Has anyone ever crawled through your window?

yep. Yes.

Do you tell your best friend everything?

aside from how much i'm falling apart, yeah. Hahahaha now I tell her that too.

If you were to die today would your life be complete?

no. No but my life will never be complete so.

Can you honestly say you loved your last ex?

no. but that relationship lasted all of five days. the one before that, yes. absolutely. and i still do. and always will. I did and I do. Other than Amanda, he’s my best friend in this world. I just don’t have the same feelings for him that he has for me.

Are you a jealous person?

no. Yeah.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?

yeah. Kinda like all the time. I mostly agree. That’s the only thing about my appearance that I actually like.

When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex?

just a few minutes ago. Couple days ago.

Have you ever broken someones heart?

yeah right. nobody cares enough about me to be heartbroken. Supposedly.

Without saying names, what's one thing about the last person you kissed?

he SUCKS at foreplay. He’s having a midlife crisis and worrying about him and our relationship is stressing me the fuck out and making my anxiety and depression worse.

Congratulations ! You just had a daughter. What's her name?

HELL no. I’m leaning towards Jenna.

Are you going to see Alice in Wonderland?

my former answer stands. I don’t do Disney.

Do you think people talk about you?

i know they do. don't really give a shit. Yeah. Still don’t care.

Hows 2010 been for you?

worst year of my life. especially the last four months. and three days. 2010 was bad but 2017 pretty much fucking sucks too.

Is there one person you look at and automatically smile?

yeah. A couple.

Honestly, if you could go back one month and change something would you?

stfu. I mean not a lot has happened in the past month. 

This past October, what was your love life like?

oh my god. kill me now. Same as it is now.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?

NOW. Now.

Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

i'm completely empty. Way worse.

Did you kiss, hug, or hold hands with anyone today?

no. I am alone.

Are you a forgiving person?

unfortunately. Not so much these days.

Is your life drama filled enough to be in a reality show?

i try to avoid it but somehow the people around me seem to start it constantly. No but I should have my own show anyway because I’m hilarious.

Have you ever just laid outside and looked at the stars?

yeah. Yeah but it’s been a really long time.

Is there someone that you're attracted to?

sigh. My husband.

Who was the first person to text you this morning?

i have no idea. erica i think. Amanda.

Would you prefer skittles or starbursts?

starbursts cuz they last longer. Starburst.

Did you do something mean to someone today?

i'm mean every day. I doubt it. Fake retail me is a peach.

Is any part of you happy at all?

not even remotely. Not really.

What do you mainly want right now, that would just make your week?

for david lipps to realize that canadian midgets with illegitimate children who don't actually love him and like to play with his mind aren't worth giving up the girl who would die for him at a moment's notice and would give anything to have him back. To find a house and move back home like immediately if not sooner.

Would it be hard seeing someone kiss the person you like?

UGH. I’d kill them because he’s mine.

Does it bother you when someone lies to you?

i'm used to it. no one tells the truth anymore. It shouldn’t surprise me but somehow I still get blindsided.

When will your next kiss take place?

never. Probably October 19 when Dave gets home.

Do hugs help when you're sad?

they make things worse. I stand by this. Because then I’m like if you’re being this nice to me right now why can’t you be this nice to me all the time, even though I’m a piece of shit and don’t deserve it. So then I break down even harder and embarrass myself.

Any nicknames?

not anymore. my former so-called friends called me titties. Chelsorz. But I hardly ever see the person who calls me that.

I bet you kissed someone today, right?

randa. I really didn’t.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?

i didn't sleep at all. That’s an every day thing.

Have you kissed someone in the past week?

randa. Yes.

How many drugs are in your system?

alcohol. Nicotine.

Would you say your an understanding person?

no. and i hate your lack of grammar knowledge. God that still bugs me. And no, I’m not.

Who do you miss and why?

i miss feeling like i had a future with the man i love. even if it was all lies. I miss home.

[taylessss]

So, I’ve been mia for a while. But for those of you who have kept in contact with me over the last several months or those who have tried and everyone who has messaged me with questions in between, I’m finally answering everything now. But first I want to thank everyone who has taken the time out to care and to be concerned with what’s going on with me. A lot has happened in the past year; and people have been asking about college, where I’m living, who I’m dating, what happened with jake. And this isn’t just directed to tumblr alone, I’ll be posting this to all social media that I’ve gotten comments from. So, a year ago this month, June 30th to be exact, I met Jake. I was at a summer event for the incoming class at UAH, I was with my friend Maci and we saw a cute group of frat boys; they were all in shorts and frat tshirts and chacos and looked like your typical cute college guys. But there was one, one guy out of the ordinary, one guy I was making fun of because it was 100+ degrees and there he was wearing khaki pants, a yeti tshirt, a backwards hat, and boots. He looked liked he was one of the country guys I went to school with and I thought he was an idiot for dressing like that when it was so hot, but I thought he was the cutest thing..His hair was messed up from where he put his hat on, he had a stupid water bottle sticking out of his back pocket, and every time I saw him laugh at his friends and he smiled I thought I was going to melt. Mind y’all, I was literally on week 1 of having my damn braces and my shirt was soaked from sweating. But my friend Maci wouldn’t let us go without me asking them to play volleyball with us, so I did, and they did. Now, one of the guys with Jake, his name is Tyler; I owe everything to Maci and Tyler. Maci is the one who pushed me to even talk to Jake, but Tyler is the one who talked Jake up and encouraged me. And sure enough Maci made me go up and ask Jake for his number before we left and he gave it to me, he actually gave it to me. Fast forward a few weeks and it was the first time we ever hungout after that, I was back at campus with my friend Cierra (she was dating a boy from the same fraternity) and me, her, jakes little brother in the fraternity and jake himself went out to eat, followed by a concert that night. That night my head was spinning, I had butterflies; for someone who had always been homeschooled and never had any freedom, it all came rushing at me. I was finally starting college and experiencing all of these things and I had this gorgeous frat boy?? It was unreal. Now we didn’t start dating right away, but within the first couple of weeks of school I started staying with him in the fraternity more and more and eventually I never went back home. Life was amazing. I was really in college, I was making all of these friends, I was going to real life college parties, and I had a college sweetheart. Jake was and is my best friend completely and totally. As far as college, It ended up being too much for me to handle, I didn’t have the support of my parents at the time, I was more focused on partying and working full time, so I failed everything. And currently I’m not in school but I plan on going back next fall. Following my leaving school, Jake and I continued living together. Jake, myself, and two roommates eventually signed a lease for our first apartment In december; no sooner did we all sign the lease we left for Colorado for Christmas break. Colorado was amazing, I felt closer to Jake’s sister in law than I ever had to my own sister. It was my first plane ride and my first major trip, and I will always cherish those memories with Jake and his family. It makes me excited for all of the many more trips we’ll go on together. Now, this all sounds amazing and perfect and a fairytale come true. But it wasn’t, and it’s not. Right now, Jake and I are not together, and it’s no one’s fault but my own. I moved back home in February and started going to a therapist (which I still go to). Jake and I had our problems, he has his faults, like never putting away laundry, or remembering to help clean, and not always being responsible..we were trying to live this grown up life and while we both wanted it neither of us were truly ready. I got irritated at his drinking, and that he tried to keep up with his friends or changed himself to fit in, he never saw that. He never saw how he changed, but he also still doesn’t see himself for who he is. He is genuine, and kind; he always knew which movies to put on for whatever mood I was in, he brought me my favorite treats, he took care of me, he loved me, God did he love me. People should have been lining up to be his friend, he makes amazing grades, better than I could ever live up to. He was a beyond amazing thrower for track, and he did so good his senior year. I never told him enough just how proud I am of him. What he’s going to school for is going to change peoples lives. He is that great of a person, I was so so lucky that I was able to call him mine.Talking about this in past tense kills me the more I go on. Jake had and has his faults, yes. But it was me that ruined our almost year together. It’s me that never communicated, and took my anger out on him, and got jealous because I was insecure, and accused him of cheating everyday, and picked fights just because I wanted to. It was me that didn’t show how much I loved him, it was me that hurt him, it was me that moved back home, it was me that ignored him, it was me that lost him. And while I’m sure he’s fine and doesn’t think twice about me I’m writing this, and I can’t shower without crying. I can’t sleep without a sleep aid or else I’ll wake up at night crying and in a sweat from another dream about him. I’m the psycho who won’t stop texting him because I’m terrified that if I never annoy him with another text then I will never hear from him again..I keep posting photos with him because he is the love of my life. I’m young, and my life isn’t over, I know that. And I know people keep telling me to move on, but the thing is I don’t want to. I’m 20 years old and I know who I want to grow with. He’s about to go off to grad school next year and I haven’t even made it through one semester of college; but his support is what I want. I want to follow him to grad school, I want to travel to all of the places we said we would. I want to fight about me never putting toilet paper on the roll, I want to argue about him never hanging up clothes, I want to argue over how something should be cooked. I want my life to be with him. Everyone posts about living with the love of their life eating cereal in bed on a sunday morning, I had that, and it is the most beautiful thing in the world. I know people think I’m crazy and pathetic by this point, they have to, but I honestly don’t care. Until he flat out says that he has moved on and is dating someone, or he doesn’t love me, then I’m going to continue to have hope. I’m going to keep the picture of us next to my bed. I’m going to keep wearing his patagonia and feel just a little closer to him. I’m going to keep posting the pictures. I’m going to keep praying that one day he will forgive me, that one day he’ll say he loves me again, that one day he will post a photo out of nowhere. He keeps saying he needs to be alone right now and I get that, I really do. And sometimes I go back and forth between ‘if he still loved me he would say it’ and ‘he just needs time’. If he needs time I’ll give it to him. I have an interview for a great preschool this week and hopefully I’ll get that and I can put all of my energy into that and when he’s ready he will come back to me. Timothy Jacob is one of the best people I have ever come to know and whether we end up together or not I count myself lucky to have gotten to be with him for the 8 months we were, I’m glad I got to know what someone truly loving you feels like. He gave me so much in such a limited amount of time. I will always love him, I will always regret losing him and hurting him. I will always want to be with him. He’s a person worth knowing. So that’s what I’m dealing with currently in my life. That is the past year of my life summed up. But tonight I’m actually going to delete him on facebook, and everything else. If he wanted to talk to me, he would. Or if he wanted me back, he would have told me. I’m not giving up hope on us because I know our story has not ended yet. But I am being realistic and accepting that right now, he just doesn’t want anything to do with me. And that’s my fault. I did that. It breaks my heart and I wish like hell things were different but they’re not and I have to deal with it. And me constantly messaging him is probably making things worse. For those of you who follow me on twitter you can continue to see updates there and for those of you who I’m closer to you can always text me for details.

[canaryatlaw]

Well today was pretty good. Despite getting to sleep in somewhat I was really tired when I woke up and didn't want to get out of bed, so I contemplated skipping class (lazy ass that I am) but I couldn't remember the attendance policy for this class so I was looking it up on my phone while still in bed and it was like "if you miss more than one class you're grade will be reduced by half a letter grade" and like okay then that serious but in looking at this I also came upon an email my prof sent yesterday that I apparently forgot about saying to do the required reading before class, which means of course I had not done the required reading before class! So then I really wanted to stay in bed so I wouldn't be unprepared but I made myself get up anyway and decided I'd spend my skip when I actually really need the sleep or something like that. So I got ready and headed down to school, trying to cram the reading into my head while doing so. It was one case, something about bankruptcy law that was for our purposes just relevant for statutory interpretation (we don't care about bankruptcy law) so I read the synopsis for that and tried to cram through a 65 page document called "how laws are made" and I swear it's probably the most boring thing I've ever read, and I've read a lot of things. I got like 20 pages into it by the time class started, but we didn't really go into the document itself much in class so it was fine. Right before it started my mentee that CALI'ed LARC stuck his head into the classroom, apparently he has LARC at the same time so it was cool to get to see him for a minute and congratulate him in person. We went over the bluebook homework, which I was happy to find I got a 100% on (not that it was particularly difficult, and we were just getting graded for doing it), so that was cool. Other than that we just talked about statutory interpretation and I kind of tuned in and out depending on how interesting the conversation was, lol. Despite class not being all that thrilling I do like the prof, she's really cool and down to earth so that helps a lot. And she went over our assignment that's due next week so that was helpful. And yeah, wasn't too bad if not all that interesting. I had to stick around downtown because I had a pad meeting later, and I had decided today was the perfect day to enact my gym plan. As I lamented a few days back, none of the classes at my kickboxing gym (the one I broke my wrist at) work with my schedule this semester at all, but I still wanted to at least be able to do a basic workout now that my building doesn't have a workout room, so I decided to just do the basic planet fitness $10 a month thing that's about as easy as you can get. There's one not all that far from school, so I took the bus there and signed up, which only took a few minutes, then hit the machines for a bit. They didn't have the chest curl one that I like, but the arms and legs stuff was pretty good. I probably shouldn't have done the back extension stuff because now my back is bugging me, being that it already hates me from carrying too heavy bags and having a large chest, probably. But oh well. After a while with that I went on the stationery bike being that that was kind of my thing for a while and did like 40 minutes on that before heading back to school. I took the same bus I took there to get back, but traffic was ridiculously slow because rush hour, to the point where I was tempted to just get off and walk the rest of the way, but thankfully I budgeted in enough time that I still got to school ten minutes before the meeting started. The meeting was fine, mostly just gearing up and making plans for the rest of the semester. I'll have a few things going on, I was doing research about having an event to make Valentine's Day cards for hospitalized children, so we can make that work and hopefully do a few other things too. So that was cool. It lasted about an hour, so after that I left and headed home. By the time I got there it was only like 7 o clock, but I was so tired and also starving because like an idiot I hadn't brought any food with me since being gone since this morning. I was like, really craving good food though so I decided to make homemade Mac and cheese which I haven't done in a while, but isn't really all that hard. One snag though was that we didn't have any milk, which is generally a critical part of making cheese sauce, but I was confident in my ability to substitute plain Greek yogurt into it instead, being that I usually add some Greek yogurt after the milk when making it. And it worked quite fine really! It was a bit thicker, but really worked very well, and it came out tasting amazing so I was pleased with that. I may have to keep doing so in the future, maybe just supplemented with a little milk to help the consistency. So yeah, that was good. Just as I was finishing my roommate came home, so we watched this week's episode of blindspot, which I don't really have very many thoughts on. Very Roman-centric episode obviously, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it just wasn't catching my attention at this point. I guess it's is not a terribly thrilling plot for me, but oh well. It was a good enough episode really. The last minute reveal with Shephard was exciting, but then the preview made me like, laugh, because they're all like "is Kurt a double agent????" like oh ffs anyone who's watched half an episode knows he isn't, there really isn't much of a question there. I didn't have anything else recorded to watch, so my roommate put on two episodes of this is us, which I've just casually seen a few episodes of with her, and it's pretty interesting. I of course still adore Justin Hartley (MY green arrow, thank you very much) and I find the whole time thing to be an interesting concept. This involved the episode where the parents lost the third baby giving birth, so of course that seriously broke my heart, but it had a sweet enough ending, though I feel like that poor kid is gonna be subject to the weirdest questions for all of his life (like "oh hey there's the triplets!" "Triplets? Why is one of them black??") like at the end when they were watching the old videos of the mom being pregnant and it's like oh, she's pregnant with you two and the other baby who died and we replaced you for him! Lol, it would just be odd. The show is cute enough though. After that my roommate went to take a shower and I started watching a series of unfortunate events again. A little while in I stopped to make some popcorn, but our apartment apparently doesn't like if the shower and microwave are on at the same time, and it blew a fuse, twice. I'm honestly quite annoyed at this old building for shit like this because we've already been having so much trouble with the heating. The gas bill has already been off the charts, but the furnace like will fail to kick itself on so we'll have the heat all the way up and wake up to a fucking frigid apartment (like I had to put a sweater on just to get ready this morning) and I'm really fed up with it. Sigh. I watched two episodes of ASoUE though, and I'm glad I decided to stick with it because I would say I am enjoying it at this point, the first two episodes were just kind of cringeworthy to me for a few reasons (you know, like pedophilia and child abuse, no biggie) but these ones have been good. I friggin adore Sunny, I think she's adorable and makes the cutest little faces, and I find myself getting jealous of Violet just because she gets to carry around her baby sister everywhere and that gives me lots of feels about my baby sister being a baby and how adorable and amazing she is and I JUST REALLY LIKE BABIES, OKAY??). The other child actors are quite good as well, Violet has been as awesome as she had been on Supergirl and Klaus is quite good too. And yeah, that's about it. Did I mention I'm super tired and yet it's 2 am? I should really get to sleep now, so I will be doing that. Goodnight babes. Happy weekend.