#honestly rereading this is making me remember how much fun I had writing it

[solarmorrigan]

Siren!Steve please!

Hullo! I posted a little bit about this one the other day, but here's another snippet!

Warning for a little bit of blood here, just in case

“Oh, shit!” Eddie exclaims, jumping back with enough force that the merman’s grip is broken. “You’re alive!” The merman seems similarly surprised, staring up at Eddie with fright and confusion in his hazel eyes, before he’s trying to scramble back across the rocky ground. He makes it a few feet pulling himself with his arms, but when he tries to go further with a powerful twist of his core, he lets out a pained gasp and stops, pressing his hands to the bloody bite marks on his sides. He’s breathing heavily, looking down at his wounded torso with something nearly like incomprehension, pulling his fingers away to see the blood smeared there, and Eddie takes an almost reflexive step forward. “Hey–” The merman jerks back, literally hissing at Eddie through a set of sharp teeth, and Eddie freezes. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” Eddie promises, hands raised in front of him in a way he really hopes conveys innocence. “I swear, I mean you no harm, I – shit, do you speak English? Do you even understand me? Shit, what if you only speak, like, fish? Is that a thing? Fish language?” Eddie is fully aware that he’s rambling, but somewhere beyond the skipping track that is his brain right now, he sees the merman look him up and down consideringly and then nod slowly. “Oh shit, fish language is a thing?” Eddie asks. “Wait, no.” The merman raises his eyebrows at Eddie and, in spite of everything, he looks almost amused. “Alright, Aquaman, don’t laugh at me, I’m a little stressed. I’ve never met a mer… person, before,” Eddie says, and the merman continues to look amused, if a little puzzled.

[sixosix]

END NOTE | THAWED

a little love letter to my readers

to start off, i know that the series is based off the entire reputation album, but i like to think that this whole series was written around call it what you want.

how it started LMFAOOO

This was previously titled ‘melt’ before i was like ‘nah ill make it, like, thaw” and earthtooz went, “Thawed?” little did earth know,, that name would literally take over my docs,,, my tags,,, my ENTIRE account

A message to my readers: From the bottomest bottom of my heart, if you have reached this series until the very end, thank you so, so much for reading. Read that sentence again. And again, until you realize how grateful I truly am as a writer. Thawed is such a big project that I still can’t believe I was able to even start. I genuinely never thought it would garner this much attention, and in all honestly, I was intimidated by it, because I had no idea what I was doing, and I was afraid I would disappoint.

This entire project was intimidating, and I considered so many times to just drop it and end it on chapter five. I struggled so badly to write after I introduced the characters, and I thought: “well, that’s it. I guess it was fun.” I even told my friends that I would do that; and yet 14 chapters later, look at where we are now 😭

Writing it was so exhausting. Working on a series while studying as a student really makes it difficult to remember details about my own story T__T I had to reread Thawed so many times to the point where I don’t even like it anymore.

But I know the reason why I decided to continue it! It sounds so horribly cliche, but it’s true. It’s thanks to all your overwhelming support :( Each ask, comment, reblog—they all fueled me more than you think. All those replies of even incoherent gibberish made me realize that, ‘hey, someone read it and liked it enough to send an ask about it. Maybe I am doing something right!!!!’

some thawed extras for readers who are interested

If you haven’t noticed, the chapter titles aren’t actually accurately about the chapter. Those titles were taken from the songs in the Reputation album, in order. And the chapters are loosely based around them!

reputation is, like, widely known as the edgy album from taylor, but in reality its such a big love letter and i know that other people noticed that, too! i think it’s very fitting to the story of thawed: it’s dark and messy, but at the end of the day, it’s a love story. do you get what i mean hehe. i hope that’s how the series came across…

im sorry if aether doesnt appear in the last chapter :( in my head, mc is coming home. and by then i dont think aether would be in fontaine at all! but rest assured they definitely have met up twice or thrice while in the other regions heehee. Also aether will ofc be there for their weeding. 🙏

i have nothing much else to say aside from thank you for reading! i hope u enjoyed thawed as much as i did

[morporkian-cryptid]

I'm rereading Feet of Clay, and something I love about Pratchett's writing is that you keep discovering new things with every reread. This man is a fucking genius; and I say is because we all know a man is not dead while his name is still spoken, and I am very much speaking his name, very loudly and with an undertone of exasperated delight.

(MASSIVE spoilers for Feet of Clay, obviously; do not click if you haven't read that book)

Okay, so the poison was in the candles, right? We all know that, and when you reread the book with that knowledge, you notice all the clues that Vimes will later put together. "Une mèche en métal gris" (a wick of grey metal) in the candlemaker's coat of arms. "Art brought forth the candle". Vetinari doing a whole infodump about arsenic and to "put it where no one will look" (the bastard already knew). The emphasis on the candle being the last sentence in the scene where Vetinari's writing, right before his condition gets worse.

A good writer knows how to sprinkle foreshadowing in ways that are just obvious enough to pick up after the fact.

But you know what a great writer does?

Spread false leads.

I honestly don't remember what I deduced the first time I read the book; I was in high-school and tearing through it without stopping to really think about the clues, and also I had little to no knowledge of the cultural stories around arsenic. But on reread, I keep noticing remarks about the wallpapers.

And if you know anything about the Victorian era, the combination of arsenic and wallpapers will immediately make you go "Pass me a towel!!".

THAT BASTARD (affectionate) PTERRY WANTED US TO THINK IT WAS THE WALLPAPER!

And it's not just once, no. There's Vimes' remark about "That seemed to be about it, short of stripping the wallpaper off the wall", which make me chuckle and mutter "oh come on!". But then later on there's "You might as well accuse the wallpaper of driving him mad"... with the added detail that THE WALLPAPER IS GREEN. IT'S FUCKING GREEN. Pterry KNEW what he was doing.

It takes a third mention of the wallpaper (the fact that it's the same in all rooms and Vetinari's condition hasn't been getting better) before Vimes actually consider it; but we the reader would have been yelling "It's the wallpaper!! It's the wallpaper!!" since the first mention of green.

And this is exactly what you expect from a good writer, right? Give you enough clues to figure out the mystery yourself and feel smart.

And if you didn't notice the wallpaper, or dismissed it in the same way Vimes eventually does (it's been there for years and Vetinari has only just started getting sick), then there's the ink on the journal.

(Spoiler for "The name of the rose" by Umberto Eco)

If you've read the book or watched the movie "The name of the rose", the second Vetinari is described licking his fingers to turn the pages of his journal, you should have been screaming "THERE'S ARSENIC IN THE INK!!!" (or at least giving very heavy suspicious side-eyes at the journal and at Pterry).

This is Terry Pratchett's genius, to me, in this book. Sprinkling false leads that seem like solutions to the reader because of our culture, of our knowledge of history or other works of literature, to make us feel smart for having figured out the mystery from the contextual clues before the characters do, and enjoy the fun frustration of watching them bumble around and miss details that we picked up on because we have context that they lack...

And then turn around and pat us on the head and say "Well done, but I played you, you picked up exactly the clues I wanted you to, and ignored the real ones", and you can't be mad at him because the real clues were there! In plain sight!!! The goddamn coat of arms were presented literally within the first twenty pages! We get to feel smart for about half the book, before we realize we've been played, just like Vlmes.

I fucking love Terry Pratchett so much.

[e-b-reads]

Some things about The Chronicles of Chrestomanci: Volume I

If you are familiar with my posts on books you probably know that Diana Wynne Jones is my favorite author, and you may even know that this series is the first thing by her I read (at age ~10), which is what led to my lifelong adoration. So this isn't like an objective post or anything, I just was rereading and thought of some thoughts to share. (This was definitely written for those who have read these books, as it contains spoilers and references to plot points with little explanation, but feel free to read it if you haven't! I can't stop you and wouldn't want to!)

I have read Charmed Life so many times that there truly is nothing left for me to discover in it. You know how you reread things and go "Oh I never noticed x!" or "I had forgotten y detail!"? I already did that so many times that there are no new y details for me to remember. It's a little bittersweet: it's because of how much I love the book, but there's no discovery there anymore.

I haven't read The Lives of Christopher Chant as often, so I am able to rediscover things a little more. I reblogged a post a bit ago about how there's a sort of shift between "Christopher is a little boy having adventures" and then "surprise! his uncle killed the mermaids and he's been helping traffic them," but on rereading the book, I was struck by the way it literally starts with tiny Christopher worried he wouldn't recognize his own father, because he basically never sees him, and sees his mother mostly from a distance. Christopher doesn't realize that there's anything sort of tragic about this, and child me didn't remark on it particularly, but reading it as an adult, it's honestly impressive Christopher ends up as arguably well-adjusted as he does.

I like the parts in both bits where we hit the climax and the main characters get to come into their own. Cat gets less of this relative to the length of Charmed Life, and he is not the type to take advantage of it as much as Christopher, but I do like the garden scene. (Particularly when Millie arrives and Chrestomanci looks like a strong light has fallen across his face. I love them.) Meanwhile, the bit where Christopher gets to take control to try to trap his uncle is so fun. By far my favorite part of The Lives of Christopher Chant.

DWJ is very good at writing books with reveals that make you go "oh hang on" and go back through to find all the hints. I have found that there is at least one reveal that does this per each of the first four books of this series. In Charmed Life, of course, it's the reveal that Chrestomanci is summoned when you call, which prompted a long ago reread where I kept track of every time people called him - and indeed, there he was, just coming through a door or around a corner. In The Lives of Christopher Chant, the reveal is the way silver stops Christopher's magic and binds him to truth, which is particularly impressive since it's technically revealed in Charmed Life already - but I still had moments, this reread, of going "oh, that's why he deals with annoying teachers by telling them the truth sideways - he's used to not being able to lie."

Finally! I don't know if these books had a developmental impact on me or I would have turned out this way anyway, but I am the sort of person who (sometimes annoyingly, I believe) deals with stressful things by often going "well, it will turn out all right." I mean, I'm more complex than that, but I am able to see that things can't last forever and I've made it through every crisis so far, so... In both of these books, crises apparently pile up: poor Cat has the worst of it with Janet being a secret imposter, and being challenged to a duel, and owing money for something his sister bought, etc. Christopher does have to deal with trying to avoid his uncle, not being caught as a smuggler, and hiding the Goddess all at once though. And for both of them, the climax of the story twists around everything going on and everything important (and reveals the adults actually knew about and could help with some of the issues anyway), and somehow everything shakes out and is OK in the end. I think this is also what life is like for children sometimes because you can't always see the end of things as well when you're a child as you can when you have a little more experience of life.

[benkyoutobentou]

Ranking the books I read in Japanese this year

It’s the end of the year and I don’t think I’ll be finishing any more Japanese books this month, so I thought it would be fun to rank what I read! I read twelve novels in Japanese this year, hitting my goal (but not quite reading one a month). There won’t be twelve rankings here, though, because I read multiple books from the same series and will be combining those.

9. コーヒーが冷めないうちに - 川口俊和: This book just didn’t do it for me. I listened to it on audiobook in February for a target language listening challenge and got stuck in a vicious cycle of not paying attention because the story was boring me and being bored of it because I wasn’t paying enough attention. Most other people I’ve seen who have read it in Japanese also thought it was boring, though, so I’m not mourning any loss.

8. 宝石商リチャードの謎鑑定 - 辻村七子: I really wanted to like this series but the negatives outweighed the positives so much that I only read the first volume. The most damning part of this for me was that I couldn’t stand the writing style. It was extremely confusing, and having a language barrier on top of that just made it miserable. I’m really glad I read this with others because I was not the only one who found the writing style to be ridiculously confusing for a book that doesn’t even handle confusing or difficult topics. Seriously, the writing was so bad that I considered continuing the series in English. But the characters were good.

7. あん - ドリアン助川: Now we get into the books that I enjoyed, just not as much. I liked this book well enough, but it was just a bit middling. I wasn’t overly invested in the characters or story and I found myself wondering how on earth this story could go on for another hundred pages. It was sweet, but ultimately I don’t think the story will stick with me at all.

6. ちょっと今から仕事やめてくる - 北川恵海: This was another audiobook read and although I know I enjoyed it, I really don’t remember much about it. I’m also not sure if the twist, which I did think was really good, actually happened or was something I misunderstood (I’m pretty sure I understood it though). Overall, this one goes on the to-reread pile, just as soon as I can find a physical copy of it.

5. 旅猫リポート - 有川浩: This was an adorable story perfect for cat lovers, but the end had me a little bored. Honestly though, it was quite the experience to go from being a bit bored to crying my eyes out in the span of ten pages. The writing style and the main cat’s perspective was super charming as well.

4. 人間失格 - 太宰治: This was my first classic in Japanese and wasn’t as difficult as I expected. Dazai’s writing style is a pain in the ass, but I will admit that it started to grow on me as the book went on and now I find it endearing. It also wasn’t as depressing as I had heard it was, and I really enjoyed getting a perspective of that time period.

3. 美しい彼 - 凪良ゆう: I only read one volume of this, probably exclusively because I suddenly couldn’t stand romance when I had fifty pages left of this. What can I say, I love a good toxic gay romance. The writing style is chronically readable and the story is super engaging.

2. No. 6 - あさのあつこ: I’m a fan of the anime for this and the novels have not let me down. I’ve only read two so far, but the story and characters are super gripping. I really love the emphasis on dialogue in this series, I really feel like it makes the characters pop more. The only problem I have is this odd quirk in Asano’s writing style, where the majority of the series is told from third person point of view, but will suddenly switch to first person point of view for a single sentence. It’s not enough to deter me, but it is a little odd to see.

1. キノの旅 - 時雨沢恵一: My number one favorite read in Japanese this year and no one should be surprised. I’m a massive Kino fan and read three volumes this year. I love books that I can analyze the hell out of and this is exactly that. Additionally, I think the writing style and the way both Kino and Hermes are characterized adds so much to both the stories and the underlying meanings that Shigusawa is trying to get across.

[tgcg]

ive been a tgcg fan ever since the earlyish days of the blog and i cant believe only now im going to send in an ask despite enjoying your work for a while now, going to fix that now i guess.. ahem.. i know you probably get dis alot but i jst wanna say i love love love your art, writing, playlists, comics & your interpretation of davekat as a whole, its a breath of fresh air and feels very 'in character' and comforting to me in a way? very silly and natural.. esp the dialogue in ur comix, it feels.. real,, i could reread your stuff for hours and stare at your pretty colour choices as well, vry awesum 😁 its been sooo cooool to see this blog improve &grow over time, i love going back here every now n again when i remember so i can like all the posts.. one of my fave piecez of yours is def the big dk week one, i love all of them actually but that one is spechul 2 me

..sorry if this is too long and/or annoying, i just had to gush over this blog cause its ceritified AWESOME. anyway, have a good day for the rest of ur days randy of tgcg 🍀🍀

hehe hey hell ya i recognise ur url from quite a while back!

thank u so so much. i rly have come a long way w my ms paint mouse skillz since i started this blog, which honestly wasnt even the point of the blog remotely, but i just got so into doing it. its gotten 2 a point where i get a lil embarrassed looking @ some of my earlier stuff, but i just think abt how much fun i had doing it & that it made ppl happy, & it goes away. this blog has always been abt fun

not annoying at all, im always blown away by the kindness of my fwlrs, u guys r rlly rlly lovely ppl & its smthing i never wouldve expected out of making this blog. U R certified AWESOMESAUC !

i hope u also have a lovely 4ever & thank u for sticking with me 🧡

[stellar-skyy]

SUGGESTED READING - ♡

NOTES: this is an ongoing list of some of my favourite works by my mutuals! there were many i wanted to include (because everyone is so talented omg) but i didn't want this list to be too long.

some of these writers have moved, but i have tagged their latest blog. if you wish to not be included here for whatever reason, let me know and i will remove you.

the blood of the covenant. — @romaritimeharbor ⤷ notes: addi's writing style will never fail to amaze me. every word of this had me giggling and kicking my feet, and reading it felt like a warm cup of tea. i adore the way the siblings are written, this is just so fluffy and lovely with a sprinkle of hurt/comfort for flavour. i love you endlessly! — @thexianzhoujade ⤷ notes: absolutely hearbreaking. this broke me. i have never emotionally recovered from this. written absolutely beautifully, in the most shattering way possible. will he change his mind about you? — @june-again ⤷ notes: this hit me right where it hurts, because i could see myself: desperately clinging to someone while quietly wondering when it was going to end. it honestly almost made me cry when i read it, because i remember when i was at a point in my life where i needed to hear those words and reading this felt like it healed something in me. 1989 - a blog event. — @aventurne ⤷ notes: to celebrate 1989 (tv) we were treated to a fic every day for almost a month from the lovely meisha! i was rereading them to pick one or two for this list, but i couldn't make up my mind so putting the event itselfl! my favourites are suburban legends, wildest dreams, and wonderland. the beautiful implications of kaveh’s missing hairbrush. — @june-again ⤷ notes: such a simple concept, but it is so sweet. i absolutely adore the way this is written, it's so comforting. absence. — @romaritimeharbor ⤷ notes: 10/10 kills me every time. the kaveh!dad au has a special place in my heart, but this fic especially. [name]'s grief is so painful to read, but seeing alhaitham comfort them... it's the best kind of hurt/comfort, where nothing really is okay anymore but you have each other. curtain call. — @rainswept ⤷ notes: my favourite lyney fic from THE lyney writer of all time. and this one. this one is my favourite out of your lyney fics. there's something so foreboding about it, every word feels closer to doom: to the curtain call, as it is titled. i'm never gonna have enough words that describe how well you write characters so i am just going to leave it at oh my god this was amazing. dancing with the fontainians. — @nervocat ⤷ notes: ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE. dancing. fontaine characters. i don't need to explain myself, you had me at dancing. this is very cute and fluffy. the art of war. — @ryuryuryuyurboat ⤷ notes: the first fic i read from the lovely miss yukari! i love this so much, cafe aus are a guilty pleasure of mine and this one was so fun. i'm still giggling at the idea of kokomi just blue-screening after getting asked out.

[rendy-a]

Congratulations on 500 followers 🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉 hope you get more btw 🤗

Anyways so far the event reads are super entertaining and great so if its alr can i get yandere idia after the dance?? Ignore if you wish 👍

Funny thing about writing fics, sometimes you think your fic is a mess but when you reread over the draft, its not half bad.  I remember starting this out and thinking, if its after the dance, then surely, they have to meet in an unusual way because Idia won’t be coming to that dance by free will…

There were so many things to remember from this night; the dance, your outfit, and hanging out with both new and old friends.  As the lights flickered off in the gardens, you sadly realized the magical night was over.  Only, you knew you’d never be able to sleep after this much excitement.  Maybe that was why you’d agreed to stay behind and help pick up trash from the tables in the cafeteria.  Plus, you weren’t completely alone.  “Thanks for keeping me company, Ortho,” you say as you give the AI boy a smile.  “It was my pleasure, Prefect!” he cheerfully replies. 

You look around at the dim cafeteria and realize, “Gosh, it is so quiet in here with nobody around.”  Ortho takes on a look of calculation before replying, “You are correct, no other lifeforms are detected in over 100 meters from this position.”  You laugh at how he took your innocent comment and turned it into such a scientific response, “Good to know.  Now no one will hear me scream.  Just like a B Horror movie.”  Ortho looks very amused by this, “Are you a fan of B Horror movies, Prefect?  My brother loves those!  You should come over to Ignihyde sometime and watch one with us!”  Watch movies with Idia?  You didn’t want to say anything to Ortho about his brother but, honestly, you weren’t sure he even knew who you were.  Really, if it hadn’t been for the whole ‘kidnapped by a ghost’ thing, you wouldn’t know him either. 

“Oh yeah?  That sounds like, um, great fun.  We should totally hang out some time,” you end politely.  “Ah! I’m so happy you feel that way, Prefect!  I’d love for Brother to spend more time with you!” Ortho says happily with a hand to his mouth like he couldn’t contain his smile behind that metal cover.  “Yeah, why not.  You can let him know to come see me…just whenever it is convenient for you,” you say offhandedly.  “Transmission complete.” You look over, “Hmm?”  Oh, the table Ortho was working on was now clean and…you look down at your own area, so was yours.  In fact, you’d hardly noticed but you and Ortho had finished collecting all the trash in the room.  “I guess it is complete,” you say looking back at Ortho with a smile, “Do you need me to walk you home?” 

Ortho gets a mischievous look in his eye, “No, Prefect, I’ll be fine.  My brother equipped me with everything I needed for nighttime navigation.  He would do anything to make me happy and I’m sure he’d do the same for you too.”  You didn’t really know what to say so you stammered a reply, “I..I’m sure he would.”  This was apparently the correct answer as a very cheerful Ortho waved enthusiastically as he floated off.  You watch him go before turning to begin your own trek home. 

Good thing you weren’t afraid of the dark.  Otherwise, this campus could be a frightening place.  The gothic architecture reminded you of a vampire’s castle and the bats circling the towers did nothing do dispel that mood.  The eerie blue glow dancing across the pavers made the whole place seem like a path to an undead underworld.  Wait.  There shouldn’t be a blue glow on this path.  After all your earlier bluster, you were now generally freaked out.  You looked back, considering taking the back way home but that convoluted path would take you at least half an hour to walk.  No, you lived with ghosts, you could deal with whatever supernatural entity this was.  You’d just be careful.

You crept carefully down the path until you came to a glowing blue hedge.  You could see the eerie flames came from deeper within.  You gathered your courage and rushed forward, parting the hedge and shouting mightily, “Arrgghhhh!”  You had no plan but, luckily for you, you didn’t need one.  The frightened occupant of the hedge screamed louder than you did and fell back on his bottom, “AAAHHHH!”  You meet eyes and continue screaming for a solid twenty seconds until the flickering blue flames finally illuminated enough of his face for you to recognize your supernatural stalker was only Idia. 

“What are you doing here?” you hiss out quietly at the cowering dorm leader.  “You…you invited me, so I came!  B.but, I got nervous about random encounters and decided to take a pit stop to wait for my stamina to recharge,” he stuttered out.  You give him a puzzled look, “I…invited you?”  He flushes deeply and his hair gets a pink tinge to the ends, “Ortho, he passed on your message.  That, that you wanted to see me…to hang out…” Then he looks away, tapping his index fingers together like a schoolgirl.  Wait, what exactly had you said to Ortho?  “I thought I said he shouldn’t mention it until he saw you next.  I didn’t mean to drag you out of bed or anything.” 

Idia gets a rare sharp-toothed grin when explaining, “Ortho is set up with Wi-Fi, local transmission, and the ability to connect to outdated landline technology.  We are always in touch.”  Then he seems to feel overwhelmed about having said so much, “P.plus, I’m never asleep this early s.so, you shouldn’t worry about me.”  You still felt guilty, you had inadvertently dragged an introvert out into the wild with no real reason.  The guilt prompted you to come up with an impromptu excursion to drag your new acquaintance on.  “So, want to walk around the main street?  I guess you don’t really get to see the busy areas of the school much, huh?”  He blinks at you owlishly before giving you a shy grin and a nod. 

“Here are the Great Seven statues,” you remark in a very tour-guide tone.  You nod your head toward the stature of the Queen of Hearts, “Grim and I sort of burnt that one down once.”  Idia looks at you, “Oh yeah?” he drawls with a knowing grin.  “I…I mean we were MINORLY involved.  It was really Ace’s fault mostly!  I’m not some hoodlum or anything!” you hurriedly backtrack on that comment.  He pulls his hands into his body in surprise at your sudden outburst and stammers, “I…I know…I believe you.” 

You cringe at what a weirdo you sound like.  Not that you are the only one who had some weird moments this night.  Earlier, you’d randomly pointed out a bench you like to sit on, and Idia had taken a picture of it with his phone.  How much of a shut-in do you have to be before someone’s favorite bench seems picture worthy?  “Maybe next time we will sit on it together,” you’d joked only to have Idia flush instead of laugh.  Maybe he isn’t ready for jokes today.

Time for a topic change, “Which of the statues is your favorite?” you ask suddenly.  “Me?  You want to know my favorite? I never thought you’d want to know about me…” Idia trails off in a mumble before responding, “Ah!  I like the King of the Underworld.  A.and not just because I’m from Ignihyde!  He is just so cool.  He devotes himself to his work but still had time to find someone to make his bride.  I..I try to imitate his work ethic…and other things…”

The silence lingers after Idia finishes until he asks quietly, “Which one is your favorite?”    It was an interesting question as you had no dorm affiliation to influence your choice.  You don’t really want to think too hard about things in the middle of the night, so you shrug and point to one.  “Th.the King of Beasts?” Idia asks in surprise.  “Hmm,” you hum in agreement, “It’s a cat.”  Then you meet his eyes and burst out into laughter.  He surprises you by letting out a small chuckle too; I guess he is ready for some jokes after all.  “I didn’t know we had so much in common.  I also like kitties.” he says quietly before you nod toward the path and continue your way onwards toward Ramshackle. 

You reach the fence bounding the hill on which Ramshackle lies and lean onto it, weaving your arms between the spiked bars that top it.  “Home sweet home.  It doesn’t look like much now, but you should have seen it when it was all decorated up by Diasomnia during Halloween.”  He gives you a small smile and remarks, “I saw it.  I had Ortho fly over and take video for me.”  You bump him with your elbow, “Keeping an eye on me, eh?”  He does not take that as the joke you meant it to be and goes into a panicked fluster, “N.No!  Not..not at all!  It…It was for research purposes.  RESEARCH ONLY!”  You laugh, “Relax, I’m only teasing you.”  He was fun to tease, you decide.

“I thought it looked great.  I was sort of jealous of the costumes.  I think it would have been fun to dress up in one,” you muse, allowing the subject to change.  “Do..do you like to cosplay?” Idia asks carefully.  “Hmm, I don’t know if like is really the word.  Maybe say I’m interested in it,” you say as you think it over, “Like when you see a really great costume online and it makes you feel excited to try it out.  You know?”  You push back from the wall and give Idia a nice smile as you seek out his acknowledgment.  He returns your smile, “Yeah, like sometimes you see something really cute and think ‘I wonder what they’d look like in this.’” 

“They?” you tease, “Who is they?  Do you have a special someone Idia?”  If you thought you’d flustered him before, that was nothing to the reaction you got now.  The tips of his hair turned so crimson that, for a moment, the blaze was red-hot enough to warm you.  “NO!  I DON’T HAVE ANYONE IN MIND!  But I mean if I did, I wouldn’t brag about it to everyone, I’d keep them safe and secret.  It would be great to have a person to do this sort of thing with.  Maybe someday…”  From there, you aren’t sure if his mumbles get too quiet or if you are laughing too loudly to hear them. 

Then you reached your door and stopped at the entry to say goodnight to your companion.  “That was a fun time.  You should get out more often.”  He looks at the ground mostly, but you catch him gazing at you through his lashes as he says, “If you invite me, I’ll come again.”  You smile, “Sure.  I don’t mind, its not like you kept me waiting or anything.”  Idia’s expression becomes deathly pale, and his mouth works without producing any sound.  “Oh, don’t worry.  I’m not mad.  Even though you took that rest in a bush, you still showed up surprisingly fast.  I’m surprised you managed to get there that fast from Ignihyde and all.  What, did you actually jog all that way?  I think there must be a surprising amount I don’t know about you, Idia Shroud.”  Then, with a wave of your hand, you slipped inside and left the shocked Idia standing at your doorway.  He really was easy to tease. 

As you climb the stairs to your room you are stuck with your parting statement.  You hadn’t consciously thought about it, but Idia HAD appeared in that bush far faster than he’d have been able to if he came from Ignihyde.  Had he been on campus doing something?  Idia the famous introvert?  Now, when it was too late to ask, you wonder what he might have been doing prior to meeting up with you.  Perhaps, if you ever met up again, you’d remember to ask him what had interested him enough to tear him out of his room while everyone else was dancing. 

The whole ‘hang out’ had taken a surprisingly short amount of time, only around half an hour.  But after the long dance and clean-up were added in, it was enough to make you ready to turn in for the night.  So, you shucked off your formal wear and put on a comfy outfit and headed to bed.  You grab the top layer of bedding and fold it over giving yourself a way to slide into bed.  Before you can though, you puzzledly examine your pillow.  A single strand of writhing blue hair lays upon it.  You twirl it around in your fingers, ‘I guess it must have transferred to me from earlier and fallen off,’ you think.  How odd but…not odd enough to keep you up longer.  You flick your fingers, sending the wayward strand floating off to the floor to be swept up some other day. 

Then you slip inside your comfy bed and let your mind wander as it does before sleep claims you.  I wonder if Idia gets hot when he is in bed?  That flame hair must heat things up pretty fast.  Funny to think about because tonight, you feel like your own bed is somehow still warm as though remembering the heat of a recent occupant.  But that just must be your imagination.  A bed can’t stay warm all day like that. 

[envysparkler]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Fairy Godbrother

What are brothers for? (Or: some minor dimensional travel, pseudo-kidnapping, and a whole lot of meddling.)

I love that I could include all three of my favorite brotherly dynamics in this one and that I could add a new flavor to each chapter. Honestly I'm proud of all the multichapters I've finished, so this one goes on the list for sure.

Red Hood

Gotham doesn’t relinquish her soldiers, no matter how far they’ve fallen from the nest.

As the longest batfam fic I've finished, this obviously makes the cut. I wanted to write a Jason-centric story exploring the emotions behind his return and I like the way this turned out.

sick day

Tim isn’t sick. He isn’t. He just isn’t sure when a floating red bucket joined the Teen Titans.

A TT AU had to join the list, right? Honestly, this story never fails to crack me up and I love rereading it because sick!Tim is so funny and poor Jason is so very exasperated.

scapegoat

“The medkit’s been misfiled,” Bruce said, frowning at the cupboard in the medbay, “Do you know who did it?” “I don’t know,” Tim’s voice said. Great. Outright denial. Because Batman could be fooled that easily. “I saw Jason here last night.” Wait. Wait. Abort—“Does he remember the correct filing system?” (The first time was an accident. A momentary panic, brought on by coffee deprivation and exhaustion. After that…well.)

This is another that joins the list because it's hilarious. Writing batsib shenanigans is so much fun and Jason's well-deserved revenge at the end is one of my favorite parts.

robin's roast

There’s a new coffee shop in Crime Alley. It’s called the Red Hood.

I always wanted to write a coffee shop au that wasn't just a coffee shop au and this idea fit that perfectly. Also joins the list because I had fun writing Steph in this one.

[purble-gaymer]

F (< this is a really good one i think everyone would want to get this one), H, J (any fic), K, X

for the ask game :]

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

god that is a good one but it's also a HARD one. i feel like let me see your bones in its entirety is high up there if only because it is very personal to me. there's a lot of good stuff in wwtmk and unfortunate result AGH!!! this is so hard. i have a couple from unfortunate result i wanna talk about though

mk and the salesman's dynamic is so interesting to me and i never get to do anything with it. i loved writing this. the salesman jumpscare. meta knight anger out of fear moments. destroya confirmation. this is probably my favorite flashback in the fic

i think i'm gonna explode looking back over this fic. cafe brawl and the cooldown after it are probably two of my favorite parts. god. guys this experience means so much to me even if i completely fabricated it myself. it is such an important bonding moment for the knights especially when blade is the one breaking down because of it. and the aftermath of sword and meta knight having their little chat...is it normal to want to cry over your own work

okay okay last one. i really enjoyed writing this nightmare scene. showing first that meta knight asked for sword and blade's help above all else, his uneasiness as he realizes something is wrong, and a final call in desperation before nightmare reveals himself. i loooove writing these nightmares they're so fun. i feel like i have a really strong idea of what the realm is like and i need to do more with it

i may have gotten distracted rereading some of this fic while answering this. need to sue myself for emotional damages.

H: How would you describe your style?

i like to make things an appropriate amount of flowery. i love romantic/gothic era lit that really digs into descriptions, and it's been a goal in my writing for a long time now to get better with that, because when i started off i hated writing descriptions. i think i've improved on it a lot over the past couple years. i like to linger on little details to try and make my writing feel more immersive. i want my readers to be able to feel the breeze on their face and smell the autumn leaves, yknow? my imagination can be pretty strong sometimes and i want to do everything i can to translate those feelings onto paper. it's tough, but that's what makes it fun, and all the more satisfying when you write it out.

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to any fic.

hum. honestly the biggest one that comes to mind is that there's an alternate universe where meta knight dies at the end of know your place. i think if i wrote it today i might've followed through with that, but who knows. aside from that, for most of my fics i'm not conflicted about the ending. i know where i want the story to go, the harder part is deciding how i'm going to get there. i think i jumped between a few ideas for unfortunate result, but i don't really remember many of them. that fic had a pretty messy development, i had a lot of ideas and many of them ended up getting cut or changed into something else.

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

what do you think? :) i certainly have a lot of "meta knight gets tortured by nightmare" plots but one of these things is not like the others...especially once arthur gets involved.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

meta knight. meta knight. sword. blade. meta knight. falspar. meta knight. meta knight. meta knight

[maddiesbookshelves]

📚🗓 Mid-Year Freakout Tag 2024 🗓📚

Thank you @cleopatras-library for the tag ☺️

How many books have you read so far?

10 novels, 2 graphic novels and uh, like 10 or more manga? I don't track all of them

What genres have you read?

Fantasy, historical, romance and mystery. Sometimes several of those in the same book

Best book you’ve read so far in 2024?

Probably The Briar Book Of The Dead, by A. G. Slatter if we're talking about novels only. But the graphic novel Rivages Lointains by Anaïs Flogny is just so good, I'm obsessed with it. If you can, please read it, it's French but it's been translated into English and Italian

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2023?

The only ones I've read were either manga or the full Dr. Greta Helsing trilogy by Vivian Shaw, which I've read back to back. So either that (book 3, Grave Importance), or the manga Requiem Of The Rose King, by Aya Kanno, that I reread and finally finished after YEARS (yes the ending ended ME)

New release you haven’t read yet, but want to

There are way too many, and I keep seeing more at work, I'm gonna die of frustration. Evocation by S. T. Gibson is eyeing me very strongly because of the internet. As is The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal, from where it's sitting on my coworker's display (it only came out in February in France)

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

I don't know honestly. The one book I was really waiting for this year was A Crane Among Wolves because I loved June Hur's previous books, and since I've read it now (it's very good btw), I'm not waiting for anything else

Update I learned something as I was writing this post: HEAVENLY TIRANT MIGHT STILL BE COMING OUT THIS YEAR???? DECEMBER 24????? MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO US???? HELLO?????? After Xiran told us the release date had been pushed back I thought for sure it would come out next year but apparently not so YEAH THAT'S MY MOST ANTICIPATED RELEASE OF THE YEAR, PERIOD

Biggest disappointment

It's a toss between How To Kill Your Family by Bella Mackie, and A Far Wilder Magic by Allison Saft, for reasons that are very different. If it wasn't for that ending, How To Kill Your Family wouldn't even be there but unfortunately. And A Far Wilder Magic just wasn't for me. I didn't expect it to be YA romantasy so I was sorely disappointed

Biggest surprise

Probably A Sign Of Affection by Suu Morishita? Don't get me wrong, I love shoujo (I know, I don't like romance novels but I love shoujo, it makes no sense, don't look at me) and I thought I would like it but I didn't expect to like it this much

Book that made you cry

I cry so often when I read/watch/listen to things that it all gets mixed up in my memories. I think I cried for Rivages Lointains, I definitely cried for Requiem Of The Rose King HAHA. I might have cried for Run Away With Me, Girl by Battan, I'm not sure. All of those are manga by the way, I don't remember if I cried reading a novel this year

Book that made you happy

The Bandit Queens made me happy because the ending was great (unlike How To Kill Your Family) which healed me a little

Most beautiful book cover of a book you’ve read so far this year

Aaaaaaa I don't know. The cover (and sprayed edges) for the French edition of A Far Wilder Magic are a big part of why I even bought it in the first place, but also A Crane Among Wolves...... And of course Aya Kanno's art is just so beautiful, all the covers for the Requiem Of The Rose King series are 👌

How are you doing with your year’s goal?

I had set a goal of 40 on goodreads/storygraph but I might have underestimated how work would impact my reading habits. But also, I'm not dead set on reaching that goal, I just want to read

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

I'd love to read more of the books I already own because it's becoming a problem. Other than that, there's no urgent need

That was fun so if anyone wants to join in, please feel free!

[prosperdemeter2]

What is your personal favorite Diaz sibling dynamic you've written, considering you've played with all of the age orders and even a twin dynamic in a fic? Was it hard to go from the antagonistic/bigoted role Adrianna had in day by day to the more positive close sibling relationship she has in a fic like the blue house?

(sorry if this is a strange question, just something I was wondering about while rereading)

Omg no this is a wonderful question.

Adriana in "day by day"... the whole sibling dynamic in that is so incredibly SPECIAL to me because, in a lot of conscious ways, it mirrors the dynamic in my immediate family. Only I am the Sophia in everything. I will say that my story hasn't quite... ended as well (if we can say that) and the one with the Diaz siblings in that, and "day by day" in general will always be special to me because of the emotional work I put into writing it. Writing Eddie’s relationship with Sophia bloom and his relationship with Adriana fracture to a breaking point while my own with my middle sister (I'm the youngest) fell apart for something that isn't the same but is similar was... enlightening. Helpful. I've shared it with my therapist.

Now the Diaz sibling dynamic is so much fun to write because, in canon, we literally have NOTHING to base it off of besides names and the implication that they're around for Big Emotional moments (re: Shannon’s funeral, Eddie’s shield ceremony?). Besides season two, I'm 90% sure they're not even mentioned again until a throw away line in season five. We don't know their age gaps except that Eddie *can't* be the youngest. We don't know if he's the oldest or the middle or, as in "the blue house", if he's a twin. We don't know if they get along, if they hate each other, or if they're like a lot of siblings as they get older and grow apart... just sort of ambivalent. So I have a LOT of fun coming up with new dynamics for them.

As for my favorite to write... Eddie and Sophia in "day by day" will always be so special to me, and as much as it was heartbreaking, Eddie’s arc with Adriana in that series will always have a special place in my heart as well. I WILL say, the hardest "switch" was finishing "day by day" and writing "rewrite" where Eddie has an admirable relationship with BOTH of his sisters and is the middle child, rather than the oldest. I remember whining to a few friends about how difficult the mental switch was sometimes 😅.

The dynamic in "the blue house" was just *fun*, you know? I've never seen anyone make Eddie a twin before, him being older than Adriana by literal minutes was a fun little Easter egg for if I ever write a part two, and the division of Eddie and Adriana as a team, and Sophia being removed from their little world was... such a swap.

All of this is a longwinded way of saying... I don't know? I would hate to say "day by day" because Adriana and Eddie were so... fractured by the end. But I honestly think that one might be it. I can't help but read Adriana’s lines over, and Eddie’s responses (and even Buck’s in "almost home") and wish I could scream them at my own sister and get the response he did. Anger at first, and apology and acceptance that the relationship will never be the same, in the end. I look at Adriana and see my sister, and Eddie and see my *other* sister, and Sophia stuck in the middle (their "built in buffer") and see myself.

Please, ask me questions like this whenever you want, I LOVE giving into the ramble urge 🩵

[lets-try-some-writing]

Oooh, can we get a directory’s commentary on the Blind Starscream AU and the Starscream Knitting AU? I know they are small AUs, but I enjoy rereading them from time to time. Plus they involve my favorite (troubled) Seeker. Also maybe one for Broken Record too because that one was just so gosh darn good! Please and Thank you!

I got you! I love giving my thoughts on the writing! Also I seriously adore the Starscream knitting AU and I have fun with the Blind Starscream AU too. I just ran out of ways to continue them. Any ideas for them would be gladly accepted :3

Blind Starscream

It was born of a request, and honestly I wasn't the most enthused with it because I had no plot to give the AU. It was a concept game rather than a story for me. Not a bad thing from time to time, but I like having a story to follow to write for. However with that said, it is a fun one and I recall having a great time thinking about how frickin funny it must be to watch Optimus yeet water at Screamer because he's scared of the bugger.

Extra tidbit about this AU: Starscream actually thinks its super funny to pretend he can see, but ONLY around ST3V3 the Vehicon. Starscream will act as though he can see perfectly and stare with lightless optics right into the Vehicon's visor. ST3V3 is terrified, but not a spark believes him when he says Starscream can see and absolutely can end their lives. Well, they believe the second part, but most don't question Starscream's blindness.

Starscream Knitting

It has been a VERY long time since I last looked at this AU. I hardly remember where it began, but I know it was made when I still didn't know how to format anything in visually pleasing and rational way. I don't go back and read my old work for a reason. (lll￢ω￢)

That said, I have had one image in my head since I learned about how running a small business works. Starscream, with stupidly colorful packaging, slowly and carefully getting every package done with his giant frickin claws. Oh! And those nails are absolutely manicured so that he can take videos and pretend he's just a really stylish knitter. He will never admit he enjoys his claws being painted a vivid red.

He secretly watches manicure videos online and asks Knockout to do him up every now and then.

Broken Record

Oh boy. The emotions were STRONG with this fic. It was the week before midterms and I was STRESSING. So of course I gave my baby some trauma to make me feel better. I was actually at work most of the time while writing Broken Record. I listened to City of the Dead on repeat the whole bloody time because it set the mood. No escape. No victory. No hope. Only loss.

Tidbit about Smokey in this fic: He did absolutely everything under the sun to make things work, and while not shown super closely in the fic because I enjoy being somewhat sane, he had a DEEP relationship with the team. He came to see Arcee as a sister in a sense. He adored her and looked up to her for many long loops before he had to pull away and then grew to see how badly her grief was hurting her. He wasn't the closest with Bulkhead and Wheeljack, but he shared many long nights alongside them, talking about the slightly happier aspects of war. Bumblebee he saw as a brother and eventually a ward as time dragged on. As he matured, he felt the need to watch over the scout, just as Optimus did. This was never fully expressed in the fic, but if given the chance, Smokescreen would take up a parental mantle if only to honor the fallen. He was especially close with Ratchet, that with the medic being the closest mech he ever had to a father.

Surprising right? You would think he's see Optimus that way. However he can't see Optimus like that. In his optics, Optimus is like a ghost. He learns from the mech, but Optimus is a strange thing for Smokescreen. A living dead mech. As much as Smokescreen bonded to the Prime, it was all a very solemn thing. But him and Ratchet? He loves Ratchet as a son would his father. Ratchet was always there for him, always offering comfort instead of the cold conformation of loss that Optimus gave. I didn't have enough time to write it, but I really wanted a scene where Ratchet tucked Smokescreen in after a long day and even managed to get the truth from him. I wanted to write one loop where Ratchet knew, and all he could do was hold Smokescreen's servo and weep as the loop came to an end.

Another tidbit: I fully intend to write a prequel with Orion and his trial. And let me tell you, what I have envisioned is ROUGH. It will take me a hot minute to write I think, simply because writing Broken Record required me to have a VERY off mental state to make it happen. However when I write it, let me say now that Orion Pax will have no frame of reference and do far worse things than Smokescreen in an attempt to get out. There could have been other ways to get out, but after so long? He just wanted to be free, no matter the harm it caused to Megatron at the Council chambers.

[anulithots]

Because you love storytelling, what are your top 5 fav (fictional) books ever? Do you love live- stage drama? Oh, and do you love fairy tales like Andersen, Grimms, etc? If you are, what are your top 5 fav fairy tales?

As I read your blog, I can tell that you love story telling and story as a whole (sorry if it's kinda weird to say). Love your blog so much 🥰💐

Awww thank you!

I dooo like storytelling, it's my solace and comfort place and how my little neurodivergent self processes the world.

Top 5 favorite fictional books:

The Little Prince. The movie fundamentally shaped my childhood, and the book shapes me now. It's such a beautiful story and I've quoted it... quite a few times 😅

Six of Crows. I looove all the characters, their dynamics, the growth they have and how they fit into the larger world. The way all character dynamics and backstories are explored is soooo well done. It's 'be gays, do crimes' in a book and I love it so much,

The wild robot (is it obvious now I used to read a lot of middle grade and never reaaalllyy got into young adult - I've been reading lots of fanfic - so now I'm trying to find a new genre to like.) It's the sweetest little found family between a robot and a gosling ever.

Sherlock Holmes (not finished yet). I've only read a bit so far. THe main duo of Sherlock Holmes and Watson are so fun to read. Their banter, Sherlock's willingness to do crimes and Watson wanting to go along with it because he finds Sherlock interesting. Sherlock Holmes himself being so adhd core. He accidentally became the best man at a wedding for the people he was trying to spy on. It's peak fiction.

(The BBC show had very good characters and character dynamics, but the mystery was kinda... lackluster to be honest)

Blind Trust by @goodluckclove. Such a comfort read, all the characters and dynamics are thoroughly explored. And everyone deserves hugs and happiness. It feels like reading a slice of life show mixed with the saddest backstories and well done emotional writing and akjsdfkl. It was so fun and comforting to read.

Honorable mentions I'll have to reread: Howl's Moving Castle, The Hunger Games (my tbr list got messed around), Heaven Official's blessing.

TBR list: haikyuu, sherlock holmes, The picture of dorian gray, Six of Crows duology, Heaven Official's blessing, The Hunger Games, Omniscient reader's viewpoint.

ALSO ALSO. If anyone ever has recommendations for books that are commentaries with lots of deep contemplation and explorations of themes of some sorts... the ones that sit with you afterwards and make you look at the world in a new way.... I'm alwayyys open to recommendations.

Do you love live- stage drama?

I've only seen one😅. I don't remember what it was called. One of those classic desi ones. Ended tragically and such. I've never gotten into it, but I think I'd like it if I ever did! Maybe when I have ✨ le independence✨ I'll see some. I'm always open to suggestions in my inbox!

Oh, and do you love fairy tales like Andersen, Grimms, etc? If you are, what are your top 5 fav fairy tales?

I've never read any, but I did have a phase where I was interested in them. I watched and read lots and lots of summaries.

I liked the little mermaid one. The ending tragedy sat with little me for a while. The idea that her sisters cared enough to give her the option of her old life at the expense of the prince, that she loved him so much - even if it was unrequited - that she'd rather sacrifice herself... the moral dilemmaasss klajflkasdf. (Also the queer allegories heheh)

The Rapunzel one also was nice... I've heard lots of versions and such.

Um kajdfk I don't remember everythinggg. But they were dark and I loved how dark they were. Since they were 'fairy tales for children' it's pretty much the first dark thing I was exposed to. I honestly love dark things for that weight they add to stories and my fairy tale phase probably played a major part in that.

Thank you so much for the ask!

[66sharkteeth]

I've been rereading City of Blank before it gets censored, and I just wanted to say I love it just as much as I did when I first started reading 3 years ago, if not more so now that I can see plot elements being set up and foreshadowing, etc. It made me sad to see you on twitter/X talking about how S1 isn't good. I can understand being hard on your own work, I'm like that, but why S1 in particular? I really like it! I could make notes as I go through listing out each and every thing I love in every chapter and I'd be doing it for ages. I've read a ton of web comics before and after finding CoB and yet it remains my favorite even still, including S1. Ignore my question if you want, I don't wanna bother you, but please at least accept the compliments because you deserve it and more, thank you for sharing your story 💜

Hmm, to be clear, it's not like I think season 1 is a steaming pile of crap or anything... I just think it's...nothing special and not particularly good.

I think it's biggest issue is it's pacing. S1 feels like...2 or 3 episodes, all stretched out into 25 episodes. A big part of this is because I was told they wanted s1 to end on Jericho's reveal, and back then, they didn't want first-time creators like myself committing to 50+ ep seasons they weren't sure they could keep up with. And honestly, not a ton happened between the first ep and Jericho's reveal. In hind sight, there was a lot more I could have done. I could have had Rex bond with Des and Lyss more, and just...given Lyss more screen time in general. I know so many people dropped the series because Lyss is introduced and when boy meets girl in media, they assume there's gonna be SOME romance there...but then Lyss just kinda fucks off and is asleep for literally 2/3rds of s1, losing that entire audience. Even if...Lyss didn't end up being the love interest, I wish I kept her around more to at least give people the false hope that she would be so I could have just maintained that huge part of WT's audience LMAO.

But instead, half of s1 was spent on that night on the town with Rex and Des and fighting Claude. These are things that crossed my mind when writing it but... I don't know how else to put it other than back then I just had the mindset of "eh, good enough." And on that note, I think the story just wasn't nearly as personal to me back then. I remember literally telling people like "It's nothing deep. The blanks don't represent anything. Sometimes people just wanna tell a fun story." Which...to be clear, 100% valid to people who wanna tell stories like that! But uh... by the end of s2, that stopped being the case. And this story became very personal to me. It became really impossible for blanks and their struggles to not represent things deeply personal to me. Around end of s2 is when this story started to be a lot more than "just a fun story w/ no deeper meaning" and when I really really started to pour my heart into it, and I LIKE to think it shows, because s3 is hands down where I'm most confident in my writing, compared to s1, when it was just trying to be a safe shonen adventure.

Lastly, going back to s1, I guess I kind of underestimated just how much this would end up meaning to me, and how having a weak-ish s1 would impact me 3 years later in s4. Back then I wasn't thinking about how the audience I get back in s1 is only gonna be a fraction of the audience you maintain in s4. I didn't realize there would be literal discussions on Reddit of comics people dropped and CoB being one of them bc of a lackluster s1. I wasn't thinking about how I would eventually be showing this to agents and publishers and that they might not look past it beyond s1 as just very average, mid content.

I was really just kinda in the mindset of "This is just Canvas 2, and if people like it, they like it!!" I wasn't thinking about how not putting 100% into s1 was going to potentially cost me thousands of readers, dollars, and even potential opportunities.

So TLDR, I don't think s1 is the worst thing ever, but a lack of heart, ambition, certain conditions, and just experience made it very lackluster in my opinion. I wish I could put a huge disclaimer on the series "IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE"

[cloud-somersault]

Hey, how are you doing? I hope you’re alright. 💕 I’ve been reading your status updates on Constellations and the Epilogue, and I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re amazing. Your writing is incredible and I love it. Your stories are so well thought out and the characters are ✨on point✨, and the plot is complex and detailed and aaahhh! It has me hooked! 🤩

And I understand how it hurts when you put so much effort and love into a story, only to post it and not see others be anywhere near as excited or invested as you are. I know how discouraging it can be. And it may be a little silly, but I do want to apologize for not commenting lately—life took some difficult turns for me healthwise around the end of last year and I haven’t been able to catch up! I’m still on Chapter 4 of Constellations! 😭 BUT Chapter 5 is open on my phone, and I am READY to read it as soon as I have the time (and mental energy, but that’s a whole ‘nother issue 😩). Don’t worry that your writing isn’t enough, or be discouraged if some readers don’t catch hints while others are figuring it all out seemingly too easily. Everybody reads and comprehends stuff differently, and it’s not a sign that your writing is bad if they don’t catch it! Honestly, I’m pretty bad at catching hints the first time I read a story unless they’re pretty darn obvious. I don’t usually notice subtle hints until the second, or third, or even seventh read-through, haha! (on the bright side, rereading stories and rewatching TV shows is always fun!) 😅

I guess what I really wanted to say is… don’t give up hope. Don’t lose your love and enthusiasm for your works, or feel like they aren’t worth writing because others don’t seem interested in them. At the heart of it all… at the end of the day… write because you love to. Because it makes you happy. And know that it doesn’t have to be “perfect”—the main goal should be that you enjoy it. That’s something I’m trying to teach myself, too. 💕

Thank you for taking the time to write this message and send it. I appreciate you're very kind words 💕I'm doing okay, I just had to take a step back for a bit from socials and stuff. I'm gonna keep that up for a while.

Please don't apologize for not commenting or taking your time reading. Your health always comes first, and I'm sorry if I came off as childish or needy, that wasn't my intention. Two things just happened that set me off and the timing of it was incredibly poor 😓

Please take your time reading; none of it is going anywhere, and don't feel obligated to leave comments either. i'm realizing that, even if chapters are short or long, finding the time to finish things is difficult, and everyone lives different lives. And I'm sorry about all the spoilers on this blog, I'll tag that better from now on.

But I really do think I got confused or disjointed in my perceptions; everyone here knows so much because i've been asked questions and given answers and people have interacted, so people following me here have more context than the average ao3 user. But I've kinda been expecting everyone to be on the same page, which will never be true.

I'm also the same way where it takes me a while to pick up on hints. I actually changed my writing style to prevent this. I got tired of reading books in college where you had to dive into every little thing. the hints and clues weren't obvious to me. I decided then that, when I wrote, I wanted things to be bold, obvious, but beautiful. I didn't want to make readers feel like they're missing something. I wanted them to trust that every answer, every clue would be answered in time. I made that promise to myself a decade ago, and being reminded of how different people interpret things just...made me remember.

I take writing really seriously, probably too seriously, but I've been doing it for so long and I love doing it. I want to be good at it. When it feels like I've gone back on that promise to myself, I get frustrated. I think of ways I could've fixed things. But I also remember that those books and those writing styles just weren't for me. I wasn't the target audience.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I wanted to explain why I got upset. I still love Constellations and I'm posting it on ao3 out of convenience, really. It's easier to reference and search there in one "Entire Work" than to have 5 documents open. The fact that others can see and read and have fun is a bonus. But I'm committed to telling this story, and I'm gonna finish with a bang.

Thank you, I won't forget why I'm doing this and that my thoughts/feelings come first! 😤I hope your health concerns are taken care of soon. Take it easy, and thanks again! 💕