#honestly ok listen i'm going to go off my nut in a minute

[ahdriking]

Khem meet Wichien for the first time

- Mansuang (2023)

[crystalflygeo]

Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Omega!Dragoness!Reader

cw/tags: Your usual mentions of slavery and sexual themes, A/B/O dynamics and heat mentions. Also allusions to depression and mentions of death.

notes: Aahahaha this took forever..... allow me top explain: first of all my new job is killing me and second of all I'm going through a hard period where I don't really like anything I write anymore. This work in particularly I kept struggling with the pacing, the dialogues, the way I wanted feelings to come across or scenes to flow it's just hhhnnnggg. I told a couple of friends that I set the bar so high with the first part I feel like nothing else I write will be that good. Then the second part was "ok" but cut off in a cliffhanger and has been there for SO LONG that now I feel this will be underwhelming after all the buildup//hit

I hope it's not. I hope it's good.

Anyway this part is in Zhongli's pov and contains flashbacks which will be fully in italics! Enjoy! and thanks for caring so much about this story ;w; ILU all <3

<- Part 2.

Your instincts mess up with your head.

Your crying and anxiety have simmered to a cold numbness.

Hours blur together, time loses meaning.

The doctor comes by sometimes. The maids bring you food. But everything feels… off, distant.

This doesn’t feel… like your usual heats.

You curl up and sob, a choked soft noise.

You don’t feel hot, but rather cold. Limbs weak. Dizzy.

Your heart aches.

You’re so tired.

And so sleepy…

Zhongli puts down the seal stamp and deflates back into his chair with a sigh, he must have read the same line at least five times already. He cannot concentrate at all. It’s not even been three days and each hour, each minute, feels eternal.

He’s already gotten so used to your presence, so smitten with you and your little quirks, your rare smiles, the way your ears and tail flicker, your pretty eyes…

And he remembers those same eyes begging for him, teary. Your pitiful cry. Your distressed scent.

Guilt eats at him. As well as something else…

He’s been restless, barely slept. Your scent is a siren’s song on the blankets, tart and fresh and tantalizing, but you are not with him. Anxious energy flows in his veins. This emotion, this thing that is like regret and sorrow and fear all tangled together, cleaves him through. His instincts are screaming at him, rattling inside a cage of his own making. His mate, his precious Omega is in heat, you’re scared and lonely and need him. Zhongli has to suppress a growl and feel the shudder of his scales at the fact that he’s not with you. In your nest. Taking care of you.

It’s agonizing.

"How is she?"

The same question, over and over, at any chance he gets.

"She refuses to eat, your majesty." Xiao tells him, and he can feel the concern in the younger Alpha’s voice. “According to the maids she only took a few bites of the ajilenak nuts, the rest of the food was left untouched.”

…

"She's um... she's always sleeping when I go check up on her." Ganyu explains a little crestfallen. She too is worried. “A-at least I think she’s in no pain… she was clinging to one of your hanfus.”

…

"You should go see her, Zhongli." Ping states, a rare serious expression on her usual gentle factions. “Baizhu says she’s going through the worst case of separation sickness he’s ever seen. Is that really what you want your poor Yin to go through?”

He lets out a frustrated rumble.

“Of course not. But it’s for the best, I don’t want to… take advantage of her, or force her to anything.” Zhongli frowns, trying to focus on the papers in front of him again, in an attempt to ignore her piercing gaze.

“Is it really any of that if she wants her mate?” Ping retorts. “She was begging you.”

I know.

He growls this time, and shakes his head at his memory of you. It haunts him.

“She doesn’t know what she wants.”

“So, you’re deciding for her then? Is that it? Honestly, are you listening to yourse-”

“She’s been conditioned to serve.” He cuts her off, voice grave and somber. “Trained to be submissive and please. She likes me simply because I’m kind to her, she wants me because she thinks it’s her obligation as my mate. I feel the pull of the bond too, the need, the yearning. But I also know she is afraid of Alphas and she thinks… she thinks she has to obey me. That she owes me something or that own her.” His eyes narrow. “I didn’t need to bond her. I shouldn’t have bonded her. I just… wanted her to be free and instead I chained her to me. And now she’s in heat…”

And it drives him insane.

“Listen to me, we’ve both spent time with her, enough to know she’s opening up and learning to voice her feelings…” Ping reasons gently. “It’s a slow process, don’t hurt her this way. At the very least… go see her.”

“I lost control once with just one kiss from her. I will not do it again. I will not harm her any further.”

The elderly woman keeps silent for a few moments. Zhongli sighs and rests his forehead in his palm in defeat.

And then Ganyu approaches, a little tense, a stack of papers in her hands.

“Your majesty, the Qixing are starting to arrive, council meeting will begin soon.”

“Very well. Thank you Ganyu.” He stands up and nods at her, then turns to Ping and his demeanor softens a little. “You know I just want to correct my mistakes, and give her the life she deserves. At least a fraction of it, of happiness.”

It wasn’t supposed to go this way… Zhongli sighed as he walked up to the room where the “reunion” with the sumerian would take place. It was long overdue seeing as he had spent the night by your side, refusing to leave after you had cried and begged so desperately…

After he had bonded you.

He had initially taken the eremite’s claims with a grain of salt, but naturally he had to make sure. The last dragonblood had supposedly died decades ago, so how…?

And yet when he saw you for the first time in that room, he knew.

You were real, you were beautiful. Suddenly he felt a million things at once: He wanted to get to know you, stay close to you, protect you. Old draconic instinct vibrating excitedly on his soul. You smelled vaguely familiar, your tail was gorgeous, your ears adorable. What if you didn’t like him though? What if he harmed you? Scared you? Suddenly he was nervous, nervous of ruining this, nervous in a way he hadn’t been in so long, like when he’d been young and Liyue had been at war and he had lost everything to fire and smoke and dust and he had to make difficult decisions and-

He had always calculated his moves. No room for risks. Too much at stake.

But you, you disarmed him. Completely.

You, with your polite gentleness despite the obvious cracks beneath the surface.

You, with your beautiful looks and enormous potential, even if you didn’t see it yourself.

You, with that look of yearning and hope, with your soft lips and sweet moans, with your warm body fitting perfectly against his.

For once, he allowed himself to make a decision with his heart, not logic, not politics. Just instincts.

And he claimed you…

…

He enters the room. A couple Millelith soldiers stationed by the door, Xiao standing by his side loyally as he sits at his place of honor as the emperor. Your ‘master’, an Alpha eremite named Zaheer, kneels respectfully a little below.

“I see you liked her, your majesty” He offers a sly smirk. “Did she satisfy you properly? She’s been trained on her gag reflexes to-”

Zhongli -Morax- resists the urge to growl. “We are not here to discuss that.”

“Ah, of course, business!”

Business.

“Since she’s such an exotic and well-trained slave I suppose we could agree on…”

“Do you think of me an idiot, Zaheer?” Morax’s eyes narrow.

“P-Pardon me?”

“She is a pureblood xiānshòu. I want to know exactly how she ended up being enslaved by you and your people.”

Cold and calculating golden eyes stare down at the eremite.

“W-What… she’s desert-born!” Zaheer retorts back angrily “She was born at a heat house. Maybe she has traits from your people because one of them decided to get a cheap fuck while traveling.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Morax asks unfazed “Liyue has records of the last of her kind disappearing and presumably being murdered when a village near Sumeru borders was razed to the ground. Do you have a disclosure?”

Zaheer stands up and growls, clearly an Alpha not used to having to bow his head and accept things not going his way.

Clearly an Alpha used to intimidating and attacking others.

Xiao wields his spear and changes his stance to an offensive one. The Millelith guards also tense.

Zaheer gets even more irritated, feeling like a caged animal. Backed into a corner. “Emperor or not” He starts through gritted teeth. “If you’re not going to pay me then I’ll take my merchandise back and do business elsewhere where I’m not being accused of ridiculous claims.”

“You’re right that I won’t be doing any business with you, but we’ll see how ridiculous those claims truly are. Zaheer, by my word as the emperor you will now remain detained in Liyue.” Morax sentences.

The eremite’s red eyes widen in shock and rage and the desert-dweller shoots up to attack Morax, getting easily overpowered and neutralized by Xiao’s quick moves. In seconds his weapon drops to the floor as the Yaksha general points his spear at the unconscious man. The Millelith quickly retrieve him and the blade before Morax simply nods at them.

Months. It had been months since then and he had to begrudgingly release the man as no accusation connected him to anything. They were essentially out of leads. There did appear to be documentation of your birth at a desert village but Zhongli would be hard pressed to believe the half-assed story you’ve been told…

And since you are pureblood, then both of your parents, and most importantly your dam, was also a dragonblood. That’s at the very least one Liyue citizen enslaved in a foreign nation.

He would get to the bottom of this.

For now, however, he had to cast those worries aside.

The Seven members of the council sit around the large table, the Liyue Qixing, leaders of all the commerce and trade sectors of the nation.

Zhongli takes his place at the head of the table. Ganyu does so as well by the sideline.

“Very well, what’s our first topic today?”

“Did Master just… leave?”

There was silence at the table, Zhongli and Ping sit frozen and you get just a bit nervous.

It’d been a few days since you started your new life, and though Zhongli was sure you were warming up to it he knew you still had a long way to go. It was probably still a little surreal for you… such a big change from everything you knew.

The tension on his shoulders quickly drops again. He continues eating. “Yes.” He says simply. Ping follows his lead, saying nothing.

The faster you forget about that eremite, the better.

“Hm…” You continue eating as well. Your expression is a little conflicted…

You inhale.

“Was he… happy… that I finally found a mate?”

Zhongli turns to you sharply and tenses again like a cat bristling. He holds back his tongue so as to not say something he’d regret. Why do you still care about that despicable man’s opinion? Why do you still seek his approval? Did you really think he cared about you? Zhongli desperately wants to make you understand how that slave-owner only saw you as an object, how he fed you lies, how his mistreatment is inexcusable…

But he can only imagine how deep your scars run, and how that toxic mindset has settled and accompanied you for years. He cannot judge you for caring about someone who doesn’t deserve it.

“Why do you ask, dear?” Ping asks instead.

“I don’t know…” You mumble, poking at the congee with your spoon. “I always wanted to make him proud.”

Proud.

Him?

“I think what matters most is how you feel.” Zhongli says, his hand reaching out for yours invitingly and you place your fingers on his palm, getting a soft reassuring squeeze. “You don’t need to rely on how others view you or think about you.”

You seem thoughtful for a second, your ears flickering back insecure but then standing up alert again. “I am happy” You admit. “Very happy. I have the best mate in the world.” You smile brightly.

Zhongli’s heart does a flip.

“With the excessive rains in the northern villages, there have been many floods and a lot of crops have been severely damaged or lost. Our previous contingency plan is in action already and donations are being sent to help the affected families. However, we must prepare for a decline in the harvest of certain grains and vegetables this season, as well as an increase in prices for a few months due to the shift in demand and supply.” Keqing explains expertly, the young alpha’s expression is serious and solemn.

“It’s an opportunity to strengthen commerce with Mondstadt and Sumeru.” Ningguang chimes in, leaning back on her chair, arms crossed. “The value of jade and other crystals is on the rise as well.”

“Not to mention, we’ll be employing several architects from the Akademiya to help with the rebuilding.” Keqing adds, turning to Ganyu, who nods.

“Greater lord Rukkhadevata and lesser Lord Kusanali have agreed on a certain exchange program with Liyue. I started drafting up some proposals already if you’d like to see.” The blue-haired secretary passes along some documents.

Ningguang’s eyes skim along the page. “It’s almost like our new Sumeru-born empress was a sign.” She smirks. “By the way, where is she?” She turns to Zhongli, curious about her fellow Omega.

“She’s rather indisposed at the moment.” The emperor replies dryly, not wanting to delve much onto the touchy subject. “Ganyu this looks good, however we need to think about-”

There is a knock that quickly surprises everyone. Who could interrupt a council meeting and why?

Baizhu peeks in with Changsheng curled around his neck, a frown on his usually gentle features. “Your majesty, a word. It’s an emergency.”

All the members at the table stare silently as Zhongli stands and follows the doctor.

Ganyu has a bad feeling…

“We have no time, follow me.” The green-haired doctor walks briskly along the wooden corridors, he looks… frustrated, dejected.

“What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t want to panic. He never panics. But something inside him does. It’s obvious that this has to do with you. 

“I apologize, your majesty. I thought it was just a case of separation sickness but… the empress is showing signs of widow’s wasting.”

Zhongli stops.

His heart skips a beat. His skin prickles with dread.

“She’s… dying?”

Baizhu shakes his head. “It hasn’t reached that point yet, but… she’s deteriorating.”

The guilt is back. The fear.

“Given what happened, I’m pretty certain the shock of your rejection was the trigger. Still, it is highly unusual for a Yin to suffer from widow’s wasting without their partner actually dying, even more so for it to settle so quickly. Her reaction is akin to someone who had never left their mate’s side for years.” Baizhu explains.

You trusted him.

And he turned his back on you.

What have I done?

“In any casssse, it’ssss not too late.” Changsheng’s little voice pipes in. Baizhu keeps leading the way and Zhongli follows, though he obviously knows the entire palace like the palm of his hand, at the moment his thoughts are scattered and far far away.

“She needs her mate’s reassurance. I have done what I can with medicine but this is a bonded pair matter.” Finally, he stops at a juncture and turns to Zhongli. “Please, your majesty, only you can save her. I will tell Ganyu, Xiao and Ping of the situation, and if you need anything, just ask.”

Zhongli nods, mute.

The snake narrows her eyes. “Don’t leave her sssside.”

“Changsheng.” Baizhu shushes.

She is right to chastise him. He deserves that and more.

“I won’t.” Zhongli nods and heads down the hall.

Widow’s wasting.

The words echo in his head. He’s seen the damage it can do. How a broken bond, the loss of the most important person, can destroy someone inside. Did you really care that much about him? Did he really hurt you that badly?

“Please…”

He didn’t mean to.

“I have the best mate in the world.”

He feels like a monster.

“I want to stay with you. Sleep together. Like mates.”

He needs to see you. He needs to make sure you’re ok…

He stands in front of the nest room. The same one where he first met you.

Opening the doors only slightly to slip inside, Zhongli's eyes widen and a hand flies to cover his nose and mouth when a strong smell shakes him to his very core.

The room he expected to be completely saturated with intense heat pheromones… instead bears the acrid scent of despair.

This isn’t the lustful call to breed and have children that made an omega vulnerable and pliant. No. It is a desperate cry from a heartbroken omega for their mate to come back, to stay with them, to love and protect them. It is grief.

You are suffering because of him.

To think all this time… he was afraid he'd make you uncomfortable. That he’d scare you, hurt you, ruin the bond you’ve carefully built. Instead, he is overcome by an all-consuming terror. Every part of him screaming at his mate's weak essence.

And there you are, his precious treasure, his sweet dragoness.

You lay curling in on yourself letting out small muffled sobs.

“Y/n…” 

No reaction.

“Darling, my dear dragoness…” He rushes up to you immediately, grabs your hand and pets your hair. You look so weak, your skin is feverish, how has it only been three days? It feels like a lifetime…

You shift a little and your eyes blink open, staring at him dazed, red and puffy and your expression defeated. You let out a pitiful whine and more of that bitter sad scent is released. 

“No my dear, don’t cry, I’m here. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Zhongli coos as he curls up to you, frantically starting to scent and nip at your neck and shoulders affectionately. His horns manifest and his tail follows through, lashing about a little restless. The bond… feels wrong, broken. He should be able to intimately feel you this close and yet…

He tries to reposition you a little so you can lie on top of him, rest on his chest. It’s concerning how easily he can do so, you’re like a ragdoll in his arms, unresponsive and unmoving. His hands cup your face, thumbs rubbing at the traces of tears in your cheeks. You let out a frustrated whimper. “Shhhh shh it’s okay. I’m so sorry.”

Even if he says it a million times, it won’t feel enough.

Zhongli nuzzles at your neck and proceeds to do something he hasn’t done since he was practically a teen. He purrs. It’s a little rusty, comes off more as a grumbling but it seems to work as he feels you relax just slightly in his arms.

“I’m right here” Zhongli’s deep voice assures you, tugging you closer, mouthing at the soft skin along your collarbone. “I’m not going anywhere and I’m all yours, I promise, I promise. I won’t leave you alone, not ever.” He soothes.

He lowers a bit of your clothes at the shoulder and grazes his fangs along your faded mark, you tense and let out a long shaky breath.

“Everything will be ok.” He kisses the spot. “I’m sorry.”

And then he sinks his fangs in to reestablish the claim.

You cry out in pain and squirm, clawing at his clothes, but he holds you, his hand rubbing circles at your back, his tail intertwining with yours.

...

.....

...

At first nothing changes, but after a few moments… a low strained purr bubbles up from within you again.

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Seeing Dokken/Lynch Mob/Ted Poley (Danger Danger) in concert

this was just at my normal go-to venue 50 minutes away

I was VERY PREPARED THIS TIME and bought a chair, blanket, hat, gloves, scarf, wore 2 pairs of pants, and my GOOD JACKET

yes this meant ppl were judging me I JUST HATE THE COLD OK

i made line friends again this time we're gonna call them Dan and Barry and they're Elder Metalheads and told stories about protecting their wives and other children at shows

Ted Poley granted me a photo pass but no one from his management gave a fuck and didn't tell the venue so I didn't get a pass :( he's such a sweet guy tho

so this guy I was hanging out with at the Sonic Slam show last summer turned out to be my one insta friend's COUSIN LOL so the two of them plus his mom got me up at the barrier LMAOO it pays off to make friends in line

I was extremely disappointed in the merch. there were literally 3 (three) shirts to choose from. That was it. Plus you could buy a CD if u wanted. They also weren't taking card. Fuck that. I bought a double vodka cranberry instead.

due to personal reasons I think I gotta stan Danger Danger now

literally I never heard a single song by them until a week ago but Ted is just so nice and fun and he put on a hell of a 30 minute show

he also threw balloons into the crowd that we had to blow up ourselves it was hilarious

there was also this little kid next to me the entire time and Ted threw him a balloon but he didn't catch it so he knelt down in front of this kid and threw like ALL the balloons at him it was so sweet ;-;

just wanna say for the record that I was there for like at least 8 core memory moments for that child last night and that balloon story was one of them

for Don't Walk Away, Ted came into the crowd bc he said 'it looks like you're having so much fun out there, I'm gonna join you!' and i couldn't find him like the entire time eoirngwoergnwerg

he also spit like a ton of times over his head and idk what it is about concert but it always makes me want men to spit on me

honestly Ted's set was the height of the show

Lynch Mob was really good and their singer... 👁👄👁

he's got crazy eyes, he's got long curly dark brown hair, and he's a petite little bitch

he also looks like Derek Day from Classless Act and Rami Malek's lovechild

his pants were TOOOOOOO LOWW 👁👄👁👁👄👁👁👄👁 i could see pubes 👁👄👁

watching George Lynch play is an otherworldly experience

at the end of their set, their drummer threw his drumsticks into the crowd and the little boy next to me caught one and everyone around him EXPLODED with joy (another core memory moment)

at one point their bassist threw his pick and I ended up getting it off the floor and giving it to this boy too

his mom thanked me secretly rogwrgtpmrtg

idk why everyone says Don Dokken can still sing I'm sorry but he can't he's worse than Vince Neil like he was literally monotone the entire time I was disappointed

despite that we were still bangin and goin nuts

Don did smile at me 3 times tho and wave at me ;-;

his stories were funny too trpptprptg like he said in Germany they eat french fries with mayo and that's the only thing he knew out to say in german in the early 80s and it's all he would eat bc of that

also he kept gushing about the crowd and the venue and how much he loves Penn's Peak and the crowd is always wild and how the venue is in the middle of nowhere (which is very correct)

there was also a red flag where Don introduced Dream Warriors with how big Patricia Arquette's boobs were when she was 16  🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩

also based on everything I've heard from Ted, Dokken and their team don't sound like very nice people erogneorgtgpptt

I wanted to meet Ted afterwards but I didn't wanna push it ;-; he emailed me today offering me a pass at his show in NJ on Friday but I declined bc 1- I would have to leave straight from work 2- I would have to drive through Philadelphia 3- how is he sure they'll actually listen to him this time and 4- it's over 100 miles away so I'd have to invest in so much gas :( sorry Ted i want to but it's it's just not gonna be worth it

[makangerous]

The Emotional Unlocking of Sara Chidouin

Spoiler free! This fic is also on AO3 and is easier to read there, plus you get a summary!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41981259

Sara Chidouin stared blankly at the ceiling in her bedroom. Her stalker had ensured she didn't get much sleep last night. Now, the morning sun was too bright for her to fall asleep, even after closing the blinds. It was the start of a long weekend, and she was already incredibly bored. She grabbed her phone from her bedside table and was about to call her best friend Joe before she remembered:

That's right, Joe has a big date with Ryoko today. He isn't really a morning person, anyway.

Sara cast the phone aside and sighed. She was happy her two friends enjoyed each other's company so much, but she couldn't help but feel jealous. Hanging out with them both was so awkward now that they were dating. Each of them would gush nonstop about the other. Last week, she had listened to Joe go on and on about their first date. She honestly was beginning to regret introducing the two of them.

I knew Joe first, he's mine, stay away from him--

No. Joe would never want her if she kept having nasty thoughts like that. If she felt entitled to people, she would be no different than the stalker he always protected her from. And Ryoko was her dear friend. Sara wouldn't hesitate to give Joe an earful if she ever heard he'd mistreated Ryoko. Ryoko was just so different from her, though. Outgoing, bubbly, heart worn on the sleeve... Joe had told Sara before that she could easily become as popular as Ryoko, but she kept her emotions locked up too deep, and it scared people away. Sure, she was nice superficially, and others wanted to trust her since she seemed dependable, but no one could tell what she was truly thinking.

Is that why Joe only sees me as a friend? Is he scared of the emotions he can't read, too?

There was a selfish, ruthless part of her hiding at the edge of her consciousness, but she held it off well, and Joe was never in any danger from it. Though, perhaps she didn't have as much control of it as she thought if she was sitting here, plotting how to get Joe to look at her instead of Ryoko...

Instead of letting her mind go around in circles, Sara took her phone again and began writing Joe a text message. Any contact with him would soothe the jealous beast inside her, she reasoned. Ideally, he would reaffirm his love for Ryoko and shut it up for good. Her text was simple:

"Good morning, you sleep ok?"

Joe answered in bursts, as usual.

"Good morning!!!" "I couldn’t sleep, nervous about today lol" "U sleep good?" "No :( " "Was that stalker bothering u? That sucks." "I'll give him a kick to the nuts next time I see him" "I can't get his face out of my mind. He covers it but I catch glimpses here and there." "That's gotta be scary! I only think of faces over and over if I'm in love." "I can't imagine how bad it feels when it's someone you hate." "Do you think about Ryoko's face?"

Joe didn't answer for a minute, even though her message had been read. He probably just had to use the restroom, that was all--

"That's kinda a personal question lol." "Sorry." "Nah you're fine. It's just hard for me to explain in a text." "What are u doing today?" "Not much. Probably homework." "Boring. Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow? Since you're gonna work yourself to death otherwise" "Sure." "Mind if I come over to ur place? I've been hitting up all the fun places in town for dates." "I wanna relax for once" "I don't mind. We can have some tea and chat for a while." "Mm, tea! You always have the best snacks to go with. See U tomorrow! XD"

Damn it, texting Joe had only made things more complicated. She would get to see him soon, but it would mean another long-winded description of Ryoko. She had no idea how much longer she could hold her feelings in. Surely Joe would prefer if her emotions stayed locked up in this case... Ugh. Well, she supposed she'd bury herself in her assignments and try to ignore her heart's nervous beating. Then she'd make a strawberry cake for tomorrow's tea time. Maybe if she put all her feelings into baking it, Joe would instantly fall for her when he took a bite--

No, that's ridiculous. If only this could be solved that easily...

Sara pulled the cake out of the oven and smiled. It had come out perfectly light and spongy. She'd let it cool, then spread some homemade vanilla frosting on it. After that, she'd top it with the rest of the strawberries. She wondered if he'd like it if she arranged them in the shape of a heart--

There you go, thinking stupid thoughts again. You're not his girlfriend.

Speaking of his girlfriend, Ryoko was probably enjoying her date with Joe right now. They likely had just finished their dinner and were about to go catch that new comedy film at the cinema. Her cell phone vibrated. To her surprise, it was a text from Joe.

"Hey." "What's up? Aren't you on a date right now?" "We ate but my stomach feels funny. Canceled on the movie :(" "Oh no! Are you sick?" "Kinda. I just need to lay down I think. I'll get better for tomorrow, I promise!" "Don't worry about coming if you're sick. We can meet up another day." "But what if the only cure for my illness is Sara's lovely desserts? Lol"

Her heart skipped a beat. She was so glad she'd decided to bake something. Lately, she'd been getting lazy and buying sweets from the department store. Joe still praised her skill in finding the most high-quality, unique, and flavorful ones, but she knew he preferred her creations. She couldn't resist hinting at the surprise:

"I just took something out of the oven for you! <3"

She typed the heart at the end and sent it before registering what she had put. The realization hit, and she stared down at her phone, horrified.

Oh crap, hopefully he doesn't read into it--

"Aw yes!!! I'm so excited!! <3"

She gasped. For a second, it felt like her heart had jumped out of her chest and materialized inside Joe's text message.

Calm down. You're the one reading into things. He's just matching your energy.

Joe never used that emoticon with her, though. Maybe he was delirious from his sickness? Sara wanted more than anything to talk with him and figure out his true feelings. But she really ought to let him rest.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be relaxing? Take some medicine and get to bed." "Finnneee. You're so strict, Dr. Sara! I'm gonna dream about yummy cake. Or is it cookies? Or what? Anyway, good night. See ya tomorrow!" "Good night Joe!”

Joe had managed to guess what she'd made on the first try. Was she really that predictable? Then again, Joe always had a sharp intuition when it came to reading other people. She could sort through given information and connect facts together in her mind lightning fast, and so she excelled at school. He told her over and over again that he could never hope to be a genius like she was. Yet Sara desperately wanted to trade her type of intelligence for his right now. She glanced again at the leftover strawberries.

Maybe I should use these to whip up something he'll never expect. What haven't I tried making before that could have strawberries in it? ...Ah! I'll make some jam! We can put it on bread, or he can take it home for later. Let me look up a recipe...

Sara swiped out of her messaging app and jumped into a search engine. If she couldn't tell Joe outright how she felt, she'd show him by going the extra mile. She wasn't content being the girl of his dreams.

Well, he's dreaming about my food, not me, exactly. But that's beside the point.

She would exceed his dreams, and take him outside the boundaries of his imagination. If that didn't sway him, nothing would.

Her doorbell rang just after the sun rose. She squinted out her window at the sky's fading pinks and oranges and reluctantly pulled herself out of bed.

Who the heck is ringing the doorbell at this hour? It's not the stalker, is it?

Her parents had gone out of town for the weekend to celebrate their anniversary. She had to either answer the front door, or ignore them and hope whoever it was went away. That second option sounded best, both for her safety and her sleep--

BING-BONG-BINGBINGBING-BONG-BING-BONG

But that wasn't feasible anymore. This visitor was mashing the doorbell button as their life depended on it. Sara threw a sweater over her camisole, grabbed the golf club she kept by her bedroom door for self-defense, and headed downstairs. Even if the visitor wasn't here to harm her, she might just give them a whack for waking her up. She reached the front door and peered out the peephole. Upon seeing who it was, she immediately cast aside her club and turned the knob.

“Joe? You sure showed up early. What is it, 5:00?”

“Nah, it's around 6. Almost 7, actually. ...I woke up from my nap around midnight and couldn't go back to sleep. Can you tell?” He was grinning ear to ear, but there were bags under his eyes, and he was trembling, like it was taking him a great amount of effort to maintain his expression.

“I can. But couldn't you at least let me get a full night of sleep?”

“Sorry. I just feel funny still, and I don't wanna be alone. My brain wanders off to weird places if I have nothing to do.” A shadow seemed to fall over his face for a split second. His body jolted, then he straightened his back and chuckled slightly. “Besides, I really wanted to see you! We haven't had a tea break in forever!”

Sara couldn't fault him for any of those reasons. “Fair enough. Let me change out of my pajama pants, then I'll start on the tea. Is jasmine tea alright?”

“It sounds delicious! And don't worry about changing. I like those pants. Are those cats on them? Whatever they are, they're cute.”

She pretended to fix her hair so she could hide her blushing cheeks and her smile. “Cut it out, or you're not getting anything.”

“Aw, c'mon. I'd wear stuff like that if I could get away with it.” He followed her into the kitchen and pulled a chair up to the counter.

She filled a kettle with warm water and set it on the stove. As she began preparing the cups, she asked Joe, “So do you have any idea why you haven't been feeling well? Was the restaurant food bad?”

“No, it was amazing. You'll have to try it sometime. There's just been a lot on my mind. And it hasn't been anything I've wanted to bother you with, since you're dealing with much bigger problems. But I don't know if I made a stupid choice or not.”

“About what?”

“Ryoko... I broke up with her last night, Sara.”

Sara whirled to face him. “Why?! You were so happy to be with her.”

“I don't know. She's really into me, and our dates were a lot of fun, but it didn't feel right somehow. I guess you could call it a gut feeling? I feel like crap for breaking her heart.”

“Well... If you know something's not working, there's no point in dragging it out. And I think Ryoko will still want to be your friend, if you give her some time. She loves talking to you. Are you sure there wasn't anything in particular that made you not want to be with her, though?”

“You're not mad at me, are you? You practically set us up.”

“I'm not mad. Only concerned.” It hadn't escaped her notice that he'd answered her question with another question.

“Don't worry, I'll be fine. I told ya, the cure for my sadness is your lovely desserts. Where are you hiding them?”

“I'll bring them out once the tea is done. I made an extra surprise this time.”

“Ooh, a surprise! How do you expect me to wait patiently now? Anyway, do you mind if we eat in your bedroom? These chairs aren't comfortable, and I wanna say hi to your plushies.”

“No problem. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable there. I'm almost done.” Sara and Joe had slept over at each other's houses as kids, and had seen inside each other's bedrooms countless times. Sara had a small table she kept in her room for when they would hang out and do homework. What troubled her is that Joe had brought up the topic of the breakup, yet didn't want to elaborate on it at all.

Why are you hiding things from me, Joe? You came over here this early because you needed to talk to someone, didn't you? Did Ryoko do something? Did I do something?

“No way! Strawberry cake? That's exactly what I was dreaming about!”

Sara gently set down a tray on her bedroom table. The strawberry cake occupied one side, perfectly fluffy, moist, and pink. The other side contained several slices of light and creamy shokupan bread, next to the jar of homemade strawberry mint jam she'd prepared. It smelled heavenly. “That's not all. Look closer. This isn't a store-bought jar. I had some extra strawberries, so I thought I might as well use them.”

“You made your own jam?! That's so clever! It's not even noon and you've already made my day. Mm, I don't even know what to dig into first! I owe you a nice meal now.” He grabbed a slice of bread and placed it on the edge of his plate, then cut out a large piece of cake and crammed it onto the remaining space.

“How about this? I'll call it even if you tell me what's actually on your mind.”

Joe didn't look up from spreading a hearty layer of jam all over his bread. “Can't you figure it out? I guess I can tell you, but there's no fun in that.”

“No, I can't. I'm not good with other people's emotions.”

“Bullshit. Yes, you are. You're great at figuring out what other people are thinking. You just second guess yourself because it's not always in line with what you're thinking and feeling. And you won't trust your own emotions.”

“I don't get why you're making a game out of this. But I suppose I'll play along.”

“Good. Here's a freebie.” Joe took a bite out of the cake. “I'm thinkin' this food is tasty as hell! You try some.” He speared another piece of cake on his fork and held it up to Sara's mouth. Feeding it to her seemed excessive, but something inside her told her to go with it. She'd sampled a bit of the batter before putting it in the oven, so she somewhat knew what to expect. Baking had mellowed out some of the sweetness and really brought out the flavor of the fruit, even more so than she had anticipated. To have Joe feed her something so divine made her feel giddy... She noticed Joe staring at her face intently and felt her cheeks flush. “And there's your clue. How are you feeling right now?”

How I'm feeling... is the clue? Does he expect me to say it out loud? I can't tell him something like that!

“You're thinking about it too much. Just tell me.”

“...Well, it does taste really good. And, um, I'm not used to being fed by anyone, and I didn't think I'd like that sort of thing. It reminds me of those cute dramas on TV.” She couldn't stop now, could she? “I guess I'm embarrassed because... I'm happy I'm doing something like that with you.”

She couldn't say that last part while looking him in the eye. When she looked back at him, he had his arms folded on the table and was leaning over it. His face was intense and gentle at the same time, and entirely too close. “Go on,” was all he said.

Her heart was bursting. She had to let him know, even if it brought the world crashing down around them. “I really like you, Joe. As more than a friend... Did you know that?”

Joe lightly placed his hands on the sides of her head. “I did. So why do you think I broke up with Ryoko?”

God, why was she about to cry? “B-because you knew I liked you.”

“And?”

She held the edge of the table and tried not to shake. Her deduction had better not be wrong. “You like me too...?”

“Good job.” Joe kissed her. Time stopped and for the first time in a long while, Sara allowed herself to feel her bare emotions.

My best friend...I've loved him forever, haven't I?...

Joe pulled back after what felt like the whole morning, entirely too soon. He kept holding her head with one hand while running his fingers through her ponytail with the other. “Doesn't that feel good, having that weight lifted off your chest? I bet it was there for a long time. Sorry it took me so long to realize.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“How did you figure it out?”

“That you liked me, or that I liked you? I guess I noticed how Ryoko acted when she had a crush on me and realized you act the same way around me, except you're way better at hiding it. You only slipped up a couple times. Stuff like being cute on purpose. You're really damn cute on accident a lot, but when you try, it's something else.”

“Wait, how am I cute on accident?” Sara interrupted.

“Like that. You try so hard not to be cute that it draws attention to how cute you are.” He laughed at her flustered expression and kissed her on the forehead. “Anyway! I realized on every date I went on with Ryoko, while I had lots of fun, I always ended up wishing I'd went with you instead. There were all sorts of things I would've pointed out to you. Then your text yesterday gave me a kick in the ass. You asked me if I thought about Ryoko's face over and over. It's not hers. It's yours.”

“Aww...You're right. I fell for you years ago. I never acted on it because I never believed you would want to be anything more than friends with me. After all, I'm scared of my own emotions. And I have this darkness inside me. It's so bad, I feel like a monster sometimes.”

“Sara, it's okay. I think horrible things sometimes, too. As long as you don't act on them, you're fine. If you feel like a monster again, call me, alright? We'll talk about it. It'll all work out.” Joe stretched his arms above his head and stood up. “You mind if I crash on your bed for a couple hours? The exhaustion's finally hitting me, now we've sorted all this out.”

“Only if I get to cuddle you.”

“Duh, that was the point.”

She pulled a spare pillow out of her closet for him. He lay down on his side and held his arms out. She slid into them, rested her head against his chest, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Suddenly, any plans Sara might have had for the day disappeared.

“Your arms feel safe, Sara. Like nothing can go wrong if I stay here. Don't let go, okay?”

“I won't.”

[silksandcravats]

Well well well... you're just in time Zimmermansbrat... Morby is sending out asks tonight...

You are a new follower and dont know me perhaps very well, but sometimes I like to send out litte challenges and stuff to you writers out there, and I have one you may like to sink your teeth into...

Use the following to write a story...

https://youtu.be/Tk46D1eFXZo "Dont Wanna Go The Other Way" by Cody Chesnut.

Yep I know, this looks totally nuts right?

It's a technique my mums writing group use to create new stories, or perhaps brain storm around problems in their work.

There are rules... you can add whatever you like, but you have to use the song and at least three pictures.

I'm gonna do one myself, so I can see if it works as a new idea to get out of my writers block.

Please dont feel obliged to answer, it's totally up to you if you'd like to participate... but it would be awesome if you did!

Have Fun and Thanks for the follow

Love

Morby

❤

Morby! So nice to hear from you again, thank you for this wonderful ask! This collage just seems so Sackler to me so I had to, lol. I feel like the final product ended up being a bit jumpy, I had a bit of trouble smoothly stringing along the different aspects into one imagine plotline, but I had so much fun with this challenge! I hope I did it justice!

masterlist

summary: y/n spends the day with her weirdo neighbour and nobody could have predicted how things pan out.

warnings: swearing, a poor understanding of New York geography

You stood by your front door, jaw clenched, keys gripped tightly in hand, ear pressed against the wood as you listened as closely as you could for the telltale sign of your weirdo neighbour across the hall retreating into his room. 

“Oh shit, fuck are you going speedy?” 

“Oh shit, fuck are you going speedy?” 

“Oh shit, fuck are you going speedy?” 

Your eyes squeezed shut and you cursed silently. You didn’t have to look up to know who was speaking, the booming, goofy, tone. You took a deep breath to compose yourself before pulling backwards, at least as much as you could with his vice rip on your arms still present.

“Hey Adam, ugh, I was just going to run some errands I-”

“I was wondering what the fuck everyone’s been up to? It’s been quiet as shit down this whole hallway, felt like I was in a ghost town or some shit.” He interrupted you.

“That’s great um.” You tugged your arms slightly and he got the message, he released your arms finally with a quick ‘sorry’. “Anyways, um I was just headed out, I’ve got some shopping to do so.”

“Yeah so do I, that’s just where I was headed we can be like shopping buddies or whatever.” He offered, showing off a toothy grin, big eyes meeting yours. He was attractive, with his big strong nose and his long floppy black hair, you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t. You’d found yourself rather drawn to him in the beginning, but that had only lasted until the first few times he had opened his mouth. He turned out to be rather strange and awkward and it just wasn’t something you could get past, and so you had begun avoiding the pretty weirdo at all costs. 

You were ready to turn him down and be on your merry way but you were tired of avoiding him and you didn’t know how much fight you had left in you. Not to mention it was well into winter now, which meant the sun would only be up for another hour or so, and you never fancied walking through your part of New York alone after dark. And so you found yourself agreeing, how long could a few groceries take after all?

“Great but you’ve gotta come along to some to do some of my errands too.” He said, turning and walking ahead, making it halfway down the hallway in just a few long strides.

“What like drycleaning?” you asked, trotting along to catch up with him. 

“No, not really.” He answered vaguely, hurrying down the steps two at a time. 

You started with your shopping, which he let you get through without too much trouble. In fact, the whole ordeal had been almost pleasant, you were trying to pick out an onion when you looked over to see him holding two different zucchinis in his hand.

“Hey y/n. Do you think I’m more like this one or this one?” He asked rather loudly through the store, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“I think,” you paused, settling on one of the freshest looking onions near the top of the stack, “that it’s a wonder you’re still allowed out in public.” 

“Oh shit,” his expression shifted, his grin deepened and he looked somewhat surprised by you, “You’re a little feisty after all.” he sounded impressed, “Well if you can guess which one is right, I’ll buy all your groceries.” 

“Ok fine.” You crossed your arms, pretending to seriously contemplate the vegetables, you decided to be generous, opting for the slightly larger one. “Left.”

“Actually the answer was neither, it’s bigger than both of these.” He winked, tossing the vegetables down and circling around to your side of the display.

“Oh, I’m sure that’s true.” You jabbed sarcastically.

“I can show you later if you’d like.” he teased, walking into your space.

“Shut up let’s go.” you tried to be serious but a little giggle slipped out anyway as you playfully pushed him forward towards the checkout. 

-

Adam’s errands turned out to be a somewhat chaotic stroll through a small corner park. You must have spent much longer in that little park then either of you had been expecting, you sat on a little bench for a while just talking. You told him about the work you had been up, and he turned out to be an actor, telling you about an audition he had recently been to, and how he thought he did really well but honestly he didn’t really like the movie’s concept so if he didn’t make the role then it was no big deal.

Never being one for small talk, you were sure that your little day out with Adam would slowly trudge by, loaded with plenty of awkward silences, but it turned out being with Adam was easy. He had no trouble keeping the conversation going, and he always managed to bring up things you actually wanted to talk about. And he was so funny, you’d be willing to listen to his jokes all day except that at one point he made you laugh so hard your stomach began to hurt and you couldn’t get a full gulp of air down your lungs for almost a minute straight.

It wasn’t until the sky began to turn a pinky-orange that you realised what time it was and suggested to head back. You had wound up rather far from your apartment complex so you both made the decision to take the subway home. It was rush hour by now so you had to push and shove a bit to get down the stairs and over to the platform you needed, and it was an even tighter squeeze when you got onto your actual train. You ended up shoved tightly against him for the first few stops, it was silly, but you tried not to let yourself dwell on the giddy feeling you got being so close to him.

As you made your way out of midtown, the car cleared out some, and Adam appeared to be growing restless, surveying his surroundings to find something to occupy himself before settling on the fire extinguisher by the door. He played with the features of it for a moment before pulling it off the wall to examine it closer.

“Adam, put it back.” you quickly scolded when you caught wind of what he was doing.

“Relax I’m just looking at it.” 

“You’re not supposed to touch it!” You insisted.

“If I wasn’t supposed to be touching it then they should have attached it to the wall better.” He continued playing with the extinguisher, pulling the tiny safety bar out, dropping it carelessly, letting it rattle against the floor.

“They can’t do that, what if someone needs it, Adam, please put it down,” you begged, trying to grab it from him, but he pulled it away quickly.

“Oh come on, this thing’s probably been in here like a kajillion years, shit wouldn’t even work anymore.” He continued, twisting it in his hands.

“Yes, it does! Now leave it alone, I’m serious.” You begin to panic at the thought of him doing something dumb.

“Wanna bet?” You could see the mischief practically glittering in his eyes as he suddenly mounted the extinguisher. You felt the blood drain from your face.

“Adam I swear to God if you-” 

But you were too late, suddenly a thick cloud of fire retardant burst through the canister filling the car with smoke and panic, the force sending Adam a few feet forward before his weight pulled him back to the ground and he toppled over in a fit of laughter.

“Adam!” You screeched humiliated as the car erupted in coughing fits and a few swears. You glared straight at the floor as you marched over to him, avoiding the heated glares and shouting, as you pulled him up quickly.

“Come on this is our stop.” You announced sharply, pulling him towards the doors as the train came to a stop.

“No, it’s not.” He looked at you confused, still halfway smiling, proud of his own stunt.

“Yes. it. is.” You say through gritted teeth, pulling him onto the platform. 

Of course, it wasn’t really your stop, and you could’ve saved yourself quite a few blocks of travelling time by staying on, but the thought of carrying on with those passengers, after what Adam had done, for even a second longer was too much to bear. It wasn’t until you were nearly at your building that Adam seemed to pick up on just how upset the whole thing had made you. 

“Hey look I didn’t know it’d be such a big deal to you.” He offers, kicking a small rock along the pavement as he trudged on.

“That was so embarrassing, you can’t do shit like that Adam.” You grumble, not willing to forgive him.

“It’s New York, people do fucking weird shit here every day,”

“This is the worst apology I’ve ever heard.” You stopped on the first step of the building, turning to look at him.

“I’m sorry? Ok? I won’t do shit like that ever again when we’re out together? Happy?” He said, moving onto your step next to you.

“When are we going out together again?” You asked, cocking your head slightly. 

“Have you ever been on the roof?” He asked back, ignoring your question entirely, backing up the steps.

“No? Wait I don’t think we’re allowed on the roof!” You followed him up into the building.

“Drop your shit off and meet me in the hallway, I’ll make things up to you I promise.” He winked.

-

“Do you keep your bike up here?” You tried and failed to hide a smile at the sight in front of you. Adam was in front of you twisting and turning his handlebar, trying to show you how he could lean back and balance on the back wheel.

“Sometimes I do, no assholes have tried to steal it yet so,” his speech comes out almost in grunts, as he focused intently on performing his trick for you.

“You wanna try it?” He asks, dismounting and moving some of his hair out of his face.

“That’s ok, I’m not a stunt master like you,” you excused, “besides, I’m not sure my feet would even reach the pedals, that thing’s huge.”

“Hey look at this!” He dropped the bike, moving to the ledge of the roof, “you can see for fucking miles up here.” You followed him over, pulling the hoodie you had grabbed from your place tighter against you as a cool gust of wind flew by. It was pretty much dark now, and you could see the lights of your city clearly from here. It wasn’t a particularly tall building you lived in, there was bigger on either side and across the way, but you could see clearly down both sides of the street. New York felt bigger with all the lights on if that was even possible. There was something about the bright city lights that set off curiosity in you. People really lived in every single one of those windows, they had a whole life, and family and friends and jobs and dreams and you’ll never know most of them.

“It’s amazing isn’t it.” you sighed, staring at as much of the world as you could possibly see from your little perch.

“Yeah, it is.” He said, watching you watch your city.

-

You really had meant to go back to your place after that, but Adam had coaxed you into coming into his apartment instead, insisting that it was only fair for you to see his place after the day you had together.

“Do you want like juice or anything?” He offered, trying to be hospitable as he closed the door behind you. 

“No thank you.” you smiled, taking in the place. It was messy for sure, but you’d seen worse, there was a lot of open space in the middle of the room, there was a couch at the far end of the room, but it was covered with clothes and things at the moment.

“You like music?” He asked, messing with something that must be sitting on a small table by his front door, he moved slightly and you could see the device he was hiding.

“You have an actual record player? That’s crazy, I didn’t know people still had those.” Your feet were ready to give out after the day you’d had, so you decided to sit down on the floor, watching him shuffle through records before settling on one and moving to put it in place on the player.

“You know what they say, no music, no life.” He moved the needle, letting it drop near the edge of the vinyl. An R&B artist you vaguely recognised began playing through the apartment. 

“You listen to this stuff?” You asked, watching him sit next to you on the floor, moving directly to a lying position on the floor.

“Come on, it sounds better down here.” he insisted, patting the empty wooden panels next to him. You obliged, leaning back against the hardwood, shuffling slightly to get more comfortable. 

“I really am sorry,” he added after a while, another apology filling pushing into the brief silence of the room as you both waited for the next track on the record to begin. You kept your eyes trained on the ceiling, but you could feel his gaze move to you. “Guess I’m just a shit flirt.” Your eyes grew as you took in the weight of his words as if on cue the opening lines of the next song began softly through the apartment. You held off on laughing at him for the song choice, focusing on holding onto the words which had just come out of his mouth.

“You’ve been flirting with me all day?” You ask, turning on your side, propping yourself up on your elbow, staring at him.

“Oh fuuuck yeah,” he shrugged, turning to look at the ceiling again. “I flirt with you all the time kid,” he added casually, tapping his foot against the wood as the chorus began to pick up. 

“W-what?” you asked, dumbfounded. “You were flirting… with me?”

“Of course I was, you’re funny and I think you’re pretty smart.” he listed off easily, still staring at the ceiling, “ also you’re fucking so hot, I fucking just wanna look at your face all day.”

“Why didn’t you ask me out of something?” You hummed, looking down at the floor.

“I guess I thought that was kinda what today was.” He rolled over, suddenly his face was only an inch or so from yours.

“It can’t be a date if I don’t know it is, it only counts if we both agree that-”

“Can I kiss you?” he cut you off, eyes darting between your eyes and your lips. 

“O-okay.” your face suddenly felt hot, but you had little time to dwell on it before he leaned in, kissing you eagerly, nose prodding against yours, his hand coming up to cup the side of your face. He nipped and nibbled at your bottom lip for a moment before wiggling his tongue into your mouth, kissing you more eagerly. His other hand came up to your side, and in one swift motion, he tugged you on top of him. 

You got lost in kissing him for the tiniest moment before you mentally re-entered the room, ears perking up at the sound of the song entering its second chorus. 

“Can we redo all of this in about 2 minutes?” You giggled, pulling yourself off his mouth slightly to stare down at him.

“What? Why?” his face scrunched up in confusion and then he gripped your face, pulling you down again.

“Becaaaauuussse,” you groan, pulling back again. “Don’t wanna go the other way by Cody Chesnutt cannot be our song.”

“Too late now kid,” He hummed pulling all of your weight down to him, tucking you into his chest. “Too late now.”

[messinwitheddie]

Squee "That's literally the only reason I'm considering this."

Nny "But he's such a repugnant little demon bastard. Think for a moment; What is he going to ask in return for his generosity should he chose to bestow it upon you, hu? Your eternal loyalty and left nut?"

Squee "Let me deal with it. Pepito's classic Chevvy is my only way to get to the ML building unless I take a bus. My social anxiety flairs up in situations like long drives on crowded moving vehicles. Soooo bumming a ride from my asshole demon-child buddy it is."

Nny "Do you honestly think he's going to let you borrow his car? Is it even HIS car? Is it really his dad's car?"

Squee "He's my best friend. It couldn't hurt to ask."

Nny "HE'S your best friend? Here, give the knife in my chest a nice hard twist while you're at it."

Squee "He's my best friend that's my age, I should specify. Not saying much because he's my only friend and he too makes my anxiety spike...Sweet; he's still up. He says come over. You wanna take a walk? I'm heading to his house."

Nny "What? Oh, yeah... I haven't been on a nice night walk in a long time. Just...give me a few more minutes..."

Squee "Sure...you ok?"

Nny "Yes...It's so quiet here now. Not complaining the least little bit trust me. .. it's surreal, standing here with only me and you... and... the memories... but no voices. I keep listening. I keep expecting to hear the harsh whispers of Mr. Eff and Psycho Doughboy bickering just outside my drawing room over the necessity, or lack thereof, of my murderous rampage and overall existence--

or Burger Boy's malevolent coaxing--

or Nailbunny's incessant Jimminy fucking Cricket nagging...but I think they're finally...ACTUALLY gone...All GONE!! *chuckled*

I'm relieved; you can't even fathom how relieved I am to be in this house and hear NOTHING but the roaches scurry! This silence.. This clarity, it's all I ever wanted...

And as clear as my thoughts are, I still can't tell you WHY in the name of sacred FUCK I did the horrible things that I did. I try to remember; to pinpoint the key event that caused my reality to shatter, but I don't know when exactly the darkness infested me. I don't know how things went so SO wrong. I don't know what I was thinking! I remember the venomous cocktail of trauma and negative emotions, but I can't formulate any kind of logic from it; not anymore.

Now I look back at my life and just go "what the fuck was my malfunction? Wow, Nny, chill the fuck out. Just brush it off. Enjoy your takeout and admire the beauty of the cityscape under moonlight..."...but it wasn't that easy then...

You probably think I'm full of shit, but that's the God's- honest truth. I have NO justification or explanation for the horrible horrible thoughts in my living brain or the ghoulish impulses I acted upon time and time again."

Squee "You were sick. You were in pain. A LOT of pain. You had difficulty coping. You didn't have the support you needed when it counted. You never got the right help you needed in time and others suffered with you because of it."

Nny "Was I evil? Was I just one more bad thing on Earth that never should have existed and needed to die?"

Squee "You weren't an evil person. You did bad things. Everyone does bad things."

Nny "I nailed a bunny to a wall, Squee. That bunny never hurt me. What other word would you use to define the kind of person I was?"

Squee "I was afraid of you for years, but I never believed you were evil. Even if you were, you were the only adult I ever met who seemed to care about my wellbeing. I could have tried harder to stop you and saved dozens of people, but I was selfish and kept turning a blind eye to you."

Nny "God, Squee-"

Squee "I heard screams in my bedroom coming from next door, but never got out of bed to dial 911. I watched you drag people out of your trunk and into your house late at night, but never reported it to the cops. I told my parents, but a part of me knew they wouldn't believe me or wouldn't give a shit or both. I never "snitched". I wanted to protect myself from your wrath in case you ever decided I was next...and after I was convinced you wouldn't kill me, I started to really like having a kind of big brother figure around. So, if we're really going to pick apart morality and shitty, selfish deeds; am I not just as evil as you? Maybe even worse because I'm also a coward?"

Nny "NO! It wouldn't have made a difference had you intervened. You had no power over me or my situation. It wasn't your responsibility to fix me or or anything of the sort. I needed to help myself, but I was so convinced I was beyond help. Shit, now I really am beyond help. There's nothing I can do now, not that redemption was possible after the first dozen mutilations... Dead is dead is dead. This is it for me.

I'm SO indescribably sad that I spent what were SUPPOSED to be the best years of my life giving into all the hatred and fear and BULLSHIT. I mindlessly surrendered my perfectly salvageble human existence to feed that goddamn wall... and for WHAT? Was the thing in the wall even real?! I mean...I KNOW it was, but, was it always there-- waiting for the right pawn and I just happened to stumble upon it at the worst time or did it simply manifest from my own insanity?"

Squee "I...I have no idea... Is it really gone, you think?"

Nny "Yes......that's a different darkness. It's beautiful, isn't it? Merciful...peaceful... inviting...

I know I should accept the end. I should embrace the nothing, but that means the only legacy I leave behind in this already fucked up world is...*sobs silently*

Squee "Nny, --"

Nny "DON'T you fucking say it, Squee."

Squee "It's nice out. the stars are pretty bright tonight for once. Come with me. Pepito only lives a few blocks away..."

[supersizemeplz]

Our Business

Erik Stevens x Black Chubby Reader

Another #supersizedfic random short. There's a SMUT scene. Enjoy!!

The warm summer air rustled the trees that occupied the average sized front yard, a few leaves floating down to meet the freshly mowed lawn. Erik leaned back further against the wooden porch swing, rocking gently as he listened to the voices around him. He tightened his arms around your waist, resting his hand on your backside as you both listened to their friends talk about their past sexual escapades.

A little alcohol was in their system from earlier activities, most of it having wore off as the day went on. Watching the game was something that was regular on football Sunday's. But that was hours ago and now they were all sitting around, caught up in a random conversation topic that you honestly couldn't remember how it started.

"I know you ain't talking about me, Teddy. Ain't you and Ebony get it crackin in the backseat of the escalade last weekend? Tell that.." Eric's homeboy and Teddy's brother, Mond, sipped his apple juice with an eyebrow raise. Ebony gasped as she looked over at a stuck Teddy. Teddy scratched the back of his neck as his younger brother burst into laughter. Ebony punched his arm as he flinched, mumbling an apology as he glared at his big mouthed sibling.

"Chill out, Mond.." Erik chuckled at the two as they playfully bickered. They were pretty laid back guys, but they had their childish moments. At least he saw them as childish. Talking about his sexual experiences to his boys wasn't something that he ever saw as ok to do. But Teddy and Mond didn't really mind sharing a little of their sex life, who they hit and how they hit it.

"What about y'all, Erik? Y/N? Y'all been together for years. I know y'all got some crazy ass sex stories.." Mond raised an eyebrow at you both, waiting for a juicy ass story. Truth is, y'all had a handful of stories. Their sex life was anything but boring. Erik thought back to the session that took place two days before.

"I want you out of that damn dress. Now.." Dominance dripped from his voice as he eyed you, standing from desk. The dark wood hid your lower half as you walked towards him, hips swaying side to side, but he'd seen those chocolate thighs when you walked in. You bit your glossed bottom lip, dropping the straps to your dress. Easing the dress down past your wide hips, you let it hit the floor to expose your lace underwear.

"Such an impatient man.." Turning your back to him, you let him admire your rounded backside. Your hands rubbed the softened flesh seductively before sending a hard smack. Looking over your shoulder, you gave him a listing smirk. Strutting over to him, one foot in front of the other, your heels clicked in a steady rhythm. "Is mama gonna have to teach you a lesson?"

Erik moaned as you turned to brush your ass against him, seductively unhooking the strapless bra. His bulge rested between your soft cheeks, taking your mild teasing. The soft hum he released exposed his approval. He chuckled at you as you looked up at him, giving an innocent bat of your eyelashes. You were about to get it.

"You keep teasing and Imma have to embarrass you in front of all my co-workers.. you really want them to hear how you loud you can get?" His hand tightened around her neck as he used his free hand to release his length. You shook your head as you placed her hands on his desk, atop the files that once had his attention. A whimper left your parted lips as you felt his slicked tip rub against your plump folds, his hand left your neck slowly.

"Speak the fuck up. You know I don't tolerate that nodding shit." He growled when you didn't answer. You tucked your bottom lip between your teeth to keep your sounds captive. You'd been yearning for him all day. His touch. Now that he had you, your hormones were in overdrive.

"N-No sir. I'm sorry, baby.." She corrected herself, falling forward against the papers that laid beneath you. Your right leg rose to sit on the desk as he groaned, watching you arch for him. Just like he liked. The slickness of your arousal dripped onto his awaiting girth, attempting o lubricate him.

He took his time to push his plump head into your soft folds. The warmth you gave off welcomed him, squeezing him as if it was giving him a hug. Her lips parted at the feeling, a groan slipping past at the familiar stretch.

"Fuck. I can't get enough of you, princess.." He drilled into your slippery core, realizing how much he missed the wet sounds it created. Steady strokes caressed your spot as he enjoyed your ass bouncing against him. The soft ripples of your cushioned flesh made him smirk.

"You got this pussy dripping all over you, daddy.." Your hands held onto the desk as you fought to hold back your squeals. Erik showed no mercy as he pleased you, running both hands from your ass and up your back slowly. His dick enjoyed your heated company, and he had no problem with letting you know that.

"Mr. Udaku?" A soft voice filled the air, making Erik glance over at the phone. He smirked as he looked at your dazed stare. You pushed yourself up and glanced at him, wondering if he was going to stop and answer. A glint of mischief in his eye made you pout.

"Answer it, princess. Tell her I'm busy.." He chuckled, slowing his strokes. You moaned, pleading with your eyes. It didn't move him, only made him break into a smile. You sighed as he stopped, pressing the speaker button.

"H-He's busy at the moment, hun. But I'll take a-.. a message.." You closed your eyes as he started slow thrusts. His dick stroked your walls, catering to the need of friction. At the angle you were at, he was somehow massaging your clit as well. You took a deep breath, listening to her speak.

"I just wanted to know if he'd be able to see Mr. Hariston tomorrow at 11 instead of 1? He said he as an engagement at 1." She sounded like she was typing, distracted. You tightened around Erik, hoping to stop him as you threw him a look. He cursed lowly, not caring if the secretary heard him. His hands rested on your hips as he sped up, nodding to the question.

"He said that'll be f-fine." Your knees buckled as you shuddered a reply. Erik kissed the back of your neck as he palmed your breasts, telling you to hang up. You obeyed with a shaky finger, letting a moan slip before you ended the call. His thumb and index finger rolled your erect nipple gently as he tasted your skin. Your body met his thrusts as he chuckled deeply. His fingers pinched at your nipples, making you squeal. You immediately pressed your lips together, closing your eyes.

"You so fucking sexy when you talking business.. Got me ready to nut all in yo fine ass." He pounded into you as he felt his climax coming. His praises caused your eyes to roll back. You moaned a little louder, making Erik press his hand over your mouth. He knew you would scream if he didn't, alerting anyone in the lower level of the building. Your stomach tightened with each passing second, the sloppy strokes sending you over the edge.

"Cum for me, baby." He moaned his command, sending a slap to your thigh. And like a faucet, you spilled over him. Your nectar dripped around him before he pushed deep into you, releasing his stress for the day. His warm load filled you, heightening your orgasms. You fought to hold yourself up as Erik pulled from you with a chuckle. A smile graced his lips as he kissed your neck again. "Told you not to tempt me while I'm at work.."

Erik chuckled at the memory. You both spent ten minutes making sure y'all erased your messes from the office floor. Times like those he cherished and only wanted to himself. It was their business, nobody else's. He shook his head at Mond, shrugging.

"Nah, we don't got any."

_________________

Taglist: @sisterwifeudaku @kumkaniudaku @loveandcigarillos @elaindeereads @wawakanda-btch @theunsweetenedtruth @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @unholyxcumbucket @purple-apricots @marvelpotterlove

[sugaroto]

@bumpingbees ok now you gave me food for thought

And I recently started writing a fan fic, so I guess this is practice,? Why not?

So, let's see how that turned out shall we?

An All for the game x Radio Silence (by @chronicintrovert) crossover that no one asked for

There are Spoilers About "Radio Silence" and references you won't understand unless you've read it

⚠️Possible trigger warnings ?⚠️ : mentions of burn marks/ 4 letter f word

So while Andrw and Neil are off somewhere eating ice cream Nicky is living the best of his life partying at pride with all those beautiful colors around

And then he notices someone wearing a pin with a weird flag on it, -well not weird, he just never saw one like that before,

Most flags were colorful but this one had simple colors, white, gray, purple and a triangle- a black triangle. Nicky had no idea what it meant

He notices the person, who Nick assumes is a man holding another man's hand, Nicky is sure that this is not the flag gay men use, as he himself is one. And he's seen the bisexual flag before, when Erik was explaining to him that sexuality isn't all white and black.

And while everyone around him is wearing all kinds of colors the Triangle pin wins over his curiosity and he walks towards the couple

"Um sorry to bother you, but which flag is that? On your pin, I mean." Nicky asks.

"Oh... um thats the demisexual flag." The person answers. "Demisexual??" Nicky asks, "What's that I never heard it before."

They seemed surprised.

"Aled you don't have to explain yourself to strangers." Aled's boyfriend said.

"Oh I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, I just honestly don't know what it is." Nicky explained quickly.

"It's okay. Demisexual people, such as myself, only feel sexually attracted to someone when they have an emotional bond with the person." Aled explained. "I have an emotional bond with Dan. That means he's the only one I'm attracted to."

Nicky's jaw hit the floor "Did you just say the only one you're attracted to?"

Dan seemed to tighten his grip on Aled's hand "Dude if you got a problem with that, just mind your own business. This is supposed to be a happy day."

"Oh no no no. No problem at all. I just, I know someone,-WAIT- you have to meet him. Wait a minute please."

Nicky turned around and called Neil. Surprisingly he picked up. "Are you in trouble?" Neil said as soon as he picked up. "What?" Nicky asked confused. "Look, Andrew already wants to lock you up so unless there's something important going on, I've gotta hung up. I don't want to be locked up too."

"NO DONT YOU DARE HUNG UP! I THINK I FOUND OUT WHAT GAY YOU ARE!" He screamed into the phone. He thought he heard Dan whispering 'what the....' but he wasn't sure.

"What gay I am?" Neil questioned, "No Andrew wait- he didn't ask, he said he found something. What do you mean you found?"

"There's a guy here that claims he's only attracted to one guy. Like you do!"

"He's attracted to Andrew?"

"Not Andrew, his boyfriend."

"His boyfriend looks like Andrew?"

"What? No! The point isn't whether his boyfriend looks like Andrew or-"

"Then what?"

"Oh my God! Just come here Neil! I think you should meet him! And I'll never bother you again about it. I promise."

"Where are you?" Neil asked.

****

It took some minutes for Neil and Andrew to get there. During that time Nicky was trying to break the ice with the couple so they wouldn't think he's nuts and leave before Neil got there after hearing his whole conversation at the phone.

From their little conversation he found out that Daniel and Aled were childhood friends. Aled had a twin sister who was also somewhere at the parade -probably flirting- and two of their friends had gone somewhere to buy food. But they were gone for so long Aled assumed they left on purpose to give them privacy as a couple.

When Nicky was about to ask what the logo on his shirt meant "Hello. I hope somebody is listening." He noticed Neil walking towards them his hand locked with Andrew's. Andrew seemed unwilling to be here again but also like he'd go anywhere for Neil.

"This better be good." Neil said.

"You owe me an ice cream." Andrew told Nicky, "Two because you made me walk here."

"You didn't have to follow Neil all the way here!" Andrew just glared at him, Nicky just closed his mouth, he probably had annoyed Andrew more than usual today.

He turned back at the couple, "Neil, this is Aled. Aled this in Neil." Nicky noticed Aled looking at Neil's hands- no not his hands- his burns, at least the visible ones. The truth was that everyone did, but Aled didn't seem to be looking at Neil's burns- more like he was looking at something behind them as if he remembered something.

"Uh... hi." Aled said. Yeah this was awkward, Nicky had brought them together, now what?

"So-" he said pointing his fingers at both Aled and Neil, "You both claim to be attracted to only one person- now the thing is that Aled has a flag and Neil doesn't." Nicky didn't mentioned this was because Andrew had burned the Andrew-sexual flag he made for Neil. "Maybe you two have the same sexuality."

"Why are you still on this? I don't have a sexuality. I just like Andrew." At that Andrew rolled his eyes.

"Are you sexually attracted to him?" Aled asked.

"What?" Neil sounded surprised by the question.

"Are you sexually attracted to Andrew?"

"Yeah...?"

"Are you sexually attracted to anyone else? Like you're seeing a movie and there's someone hot in it, do you feel that 'hot' that everyone talks about?"

"No... look man, I don't really swing in any way I don't-"

"Well, it could also be your type. If you have a specific one- What if you met someone that looked like Andrew would you feel attracted to them?"

"Ha that's an easy question!" Nicky cut in, "Andrew has a twin! Are you attracted to Aaron Neil?" Neil made the most disgusted face Nicky had ever seen him do.

"EW What the F*ck?! NO! Aaron is f*cking ugly!"

"We are literally identical." Andrew said.

Neil just said. "No." As if denying that fact.

Aled nodded, "Well you could be demisexual. I don't know it's up to you really."

"Demi-what now?"

Aled pointed at his pin then explained the meaning of if it once again. Nicky noticed Andrew listening at Aled. He always looked like he didn't care about any of it. But Nicky noticed him raising his brow at Aled's explanation.

"I suppose you didn't liked Andrew like that when you first met him. You first got to know each other and then I guess... things changed? Perhaps you started trusting him more?" Aled suggested. Neil seemed lost listening to Aled's voice, but not in a confused way- more like an amused one.

"You... how did you," He looked back at Nicky, then at Andrew. He looked at Aled again. "You, you are not wrong."

After a short pause he continued, "Is that the case between you?"

"Well me and Dan know each other since we were really young. I don't know when exactly I started feeling that way for him."

"Oh..."

"But it's different for everyone." He shrugged. "You can always Google it up if you're doubtful."

"Yeah, right." Neil said because he knew what Aled meant. Definitely. He definitely knew how to use Google...right?

"Uh, thank you Aled. Those informations were... useful."

"Aleeeeeeeeedddd!!!!!!" They heard someone screaming from afar. They saw a girl in a colorful hoodie waving at them. "Danieeeeel!!!!"

"Oh my God remind me why we are with her? She's gonna embarrass us..." Dan said, but he seemed like he was joking, mostly.

"Oh we have to go," He looked at Neil, "I'm glad if I helped you in any way, goodbye." He waved at them and they walked towards the girl. Nicky saw the girl running towards Aled and hugging him while screaming she missed her other half.

Nicky looked back at Neil and Andrew.

Neil had a smug smile on his face, "So, I guess I wasn't lying this time, there's a label for "my failed attempts to be sweet"." Wait, was he mocking Andrew?

"Shut up." Andrew said.

"Hold up!" Nicky said seeing Andrew's face, it seemed pinkier than usual. It was either cause it was hot as hell here or, "Are you blushing? Oh my god..."

"No. F*ck you." Andrew flipped him off. He yanked Neil's hand the other way. "Ice cream." He said -to Neil probably- then to Nicky. "Don't follow us."

Ok but imagine one day Nicky asks Neil "So, why don't YOU like girls?" Like Neil had asked him on the library that day (dude asked him why he's gay and then misunderstood the answer pls😭😭) and he's just like "It's not that I don't like girls, I don't like anyone I've told you, I just like Andrew" and Nicky is like yeah sure....🙄🙄👀👀

and then idk maybe he finds hot models or something online and shows Neil like "C'mon you can't tell me you don't find him hot?! Even straight guys are h0rny for him!" But Neil feels no attraction or anything towards the man and Nicky is like freaking out bc wtf and he proceeds to find hot models that look like Andrew or something but Neil doesn't really like any of them and he doesn't care bc who tf are those people anyway??

And then imagine Andrew walks by and Neil just stares at him ignoring Nicky bc like... yknow what even is that conversation? And Nicky is like hey I'm talking to you, but he notices he's staring at Andrew and hes just like.... well😶😐 you're obviously gay Josten, a weird/different kind of gay but for sure you ain't straight, and like how can you like only one person 😫(but he also thinks it's cute cause he obviously ships them)

...

And when it's pride month Nicky wants to do something and since Neil still says he's not gay Nicky makes an Andrew-sexual flag and is like great now you're coming with me at the parade

But, Andrew locks him up somewhere cause he's sick of his bυllsh1t

But thanks to Neil he eventually gets out because "C'mon he was so excited for this, it's a shame, you can lock him up later"

And they're all going out in the end, leaving Nicky in the crowd alone and Andreil leaves to go and get some ice cream bc why not