#honestly maybe top 10
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“i tell you that i think i’m falling back in love with you” // “who’s gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames if we know the steps anyway”
“stitching ‘we were just kids, babe’. i said ‘i don’t mind it takes time’”// “and you said you’d come and get me but you were 25 and the shelf life of those fantasies has expired”
“starry eyes sparking up my darkest night” // “i thought i was better safe than starry eyed”
“your touch bought forth an incandescent glow” // “i felt aglow like this never before and never since”
“i’d die for you in the same way, if i first saw your face in the 1500s off in a foreign land… we would’ve been timeless” // “if you know it in one glimpse, it’s legendary”
“and when we go crashing down we come back every time” // “never quite buried”
“you paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain” // “you lowdown boy you stand up guy”
“but it lies and it lies and it lies a million little times” // “you said i’m the love of your life about a million times”
“clear blue water high tide came and bought you in” // “who’s gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate”
“for a moment i was heaven-struck” // “and told me i reformed you”
“your integrity makes me seem small. you paint dreamscapes on the wall.” // “when your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes”
“if you never looked my way i would’ve stayed on my knees and i damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil” // “well you took me to hell too”
“and all at once you are the one i have been waiting for” // “and all at once the ink bleeds”
“forever is the sweetest con” // “a conman sells a fool a get love quick scheme”
“you showed me colours you know i can’t see with anyone else” // “but i felt a hole like this never before and ever since”
“i like shiny things but i’d marry you with paper rings” // “and i wouldn’t marry me either” // “give you my wild give you a child” // “you shit talked me under the table talking rings and talking cradles”
“you would’ve been the one if you were a better man” // “i wish i could unrecall how we almost had it all”
“but if he’s a ghost then i can be a phantom” // “dancing phantoms on the terrace” // “my beloved ghost and me sitting in a tree d-y-i-n-g” // “can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses”
“it must be counterfeit. i think there’s been a glitch” // “i can’t get out of bed cause something counterfeit’s dead”
“in my defence i have none, for digging up the grace another time” // “should’ve let it stay buried”
“the coward claimed he was a lion” // “you said i needed a brave man then proceeded to play him”
“i’m combing through the braids of lies” // “was any of it true?”
“you see me in hindsight tangled up with you all night burning it down” // “our field of dreams engulfed in fire your arsons match your somber eyes”
“and i’m never gonna love again” // “and i’ll still see it until i die you’re the loss of my life”
#so so many today#24 all together#truly this song is top 20 best songs she’s ever made#honestly maybe top 10#top 5?#ttpdminutes#ttpd lyric parallels#ttpd lyrics#ttpd parallels#ttpd web weaving#web weaving#loml
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On one hand, I feel horribly guilty for having a couple weekends where I've committed to absolutely nothing to the point of backing out of volunteering at a local dog show.
On the other hand, I have dog sport events literally every weekend and practice or class at least twice a week throughout the entirety of October and November. I think I get a free pass for a couple weekends.
#and this doesn't even count my work disc dog events#those start again next week#I have two disc dog events and two obedience trials and the three separate mondioring seminars#on top of work disc dog events and AKC Trick Dog classes at multiple levels I'll be hosting and an extracurricular play skills class#that will make my Sundays at 12 hour work day even if it's a very rewarding one with Limited Basic obedience work#I go through Vicious Cycles of doing as much as physically possible during busy season and then crashing during the dead seasons#but I need to support my hobby jobby job and my partners Hobby jobby job as much as I can to keep this sustainable#and 10 is in his Peak trialing time before he starts losing Mobility#and Valkyrie is in her Peak training time to build her up as a multi-sport dog#so here we go#and Mr tumnus gets to be a little bit of a living plush animal for a while since I can't afford to show a third animal right now#I honestly think he would do great showing and we would both have fun#but I can keep him in good condition and get out there again in a year or two when I can afford a second ferret and yet another sport#the life of Ron#maybe if a manic enough I won't notice that my birthday is coming up again#and I'll get enough done before I have to have surgery that I won't be going insane through recovery
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the funniest thing I’ve learned in the last month or so is that not a single ice hockey player is attractive. like. genuinely. 36.7k fan fictions on ao3 abt ugly men fucking.
#is this a diversity win?#no but legit it’s crazy#real 6ebe.tumblr.com fans know I’m obsessed with sports r/pf like. as a sociological phenomenon#sadly after finishing up my ethnographies of r/ugby fo:otball and f/1 I had to finally stop ignoring the elephant in the room#I even watched a game bc I’m a European insomniac and h/ockey is always on at like 1am#anyway. safe to say I rly don’t get it but happy for them or whatever#<- actually not even I have many thoughts abt the state of that community tbf#the bizarre homonormativuty and inserting gender roles into queer relationships (the percentage of a/b/o and STRONGENT d*m/s*b dynamics in#fic is CRAZY) also the writers are all so painfully North American millennials with no awareness of anything outside the us#like a lot of the most popular fic characters are Europeans and these American writers do NOT have the range 🤣 nor do they even try tbf !#anyway. no one wants to hesr all this it just kills me how unfuckable every single one of those men is#like Leon? genuinely not even a 6/10 in Germany. but people keep saying he’s ‘top 5 hottest players in the league’ GIRLIES FREE URSELVES 😭😭😭#like you genuinely see attractive people fairly often watcving like fo0tbl games and r/ugby#did discuss with a friend that maybe the lack of helmets in the bigger sports outside North America means more pressure on the players to#have procedures and invest more in grooming etc but honestly idk. baffles me
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Very funny seeing the dem advisors freak out and go "WE NEED TO BUILD PODCAST BROS IN A LAB" as a response to right wing streamers and influencers and Joe Rogan as though they didn't just spend the past year sending cops to universities to beat, arrest, and tear gas left-wing kids on college campuses who idk. May have been useful with this whole "new media ecosystem" thing.
#like ??????#what did you think was going to happen#not even funny honestly its just bleak that after A LITERAL DECADE a top dem advisor was like damn maybe we need a bernie sanders esque guy#like???? you had one 10 years ago!!!#the democrats: forever snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and striking while the iron is cold
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before I sleep, here is my definitive ranking on all the NPMD songs and some rambles on why I placed them there - also the ranking is based on how much I vibe with them (music production and lyricism have different rankings)
1. Hatchet Town (aka the hatchetfield trilogy theme song like this tune perfectly encapsulates the chaos Hatchetfield has to go through with every Starkid project pos-2018 and I love it - kinda wish it was a number that is more integrated with the plot with the kids tho BUT I REALLY DID LIKE that this melody was quite prominent in the other songs too)
2. High School is Killing Me (I've watched many teen centered musicals and believe me when I say that this song is one of, if not, the best introduction numbers out there for this genre - also it's a really great opening hook for a show)
3. Nerdy Prudes Must Die (FUCKING AMAZING HONESTLY - amazing way to REALLY re-establish a villain back from the dead and to establish the main theme for the nerds here: "I'm Not A Loser" (tho i fucking wish that motif was used a bit more))
4. Just For Once (everyone cheer for Lauren Lopez flexing not just her high tier soprano skills, but also how amazing of a fucking actor she can be like the concept of this song is quite layered and to pull it off both comedically and emphatically takes great lyrical and acting prowess)
5. The Summoning (a well-anticipated onstage introduction to all 5 of the LiB that balances out befuddling neon-entertainment with genuine fucking menace)
7. Cool As I Think I Am Reprise (A FUCKING GENIUS REPRISE I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH HOW COOL I FIND THEM RECONTEXTUALIZING THE OG SONG AND IF I LOVED YOU TO FIT THE SITUATION AND BOTH OF THE CHARACTERS GROWTH. LIKE IN TERMS OF THEMATIC IMPLICATIONS WITH CHARQCTER DEVELOPMENT, THIS SONG AND ITS SCENE WOULD BE THE TOP)
6. If I Loved You (I think this song could be a bit more honestly like I know how much Starkid has explored Steph and Pete's relationship in their other projects and I was really hoping that they would have it more portrayed here - however the song is a bop nonetheless and it matches neatly with their themes and the harmonies are top tier. I placed this higher than the next just due to my personal bias like I really do like the song)
8. Dirty Dudes Must Die (A GREAT TWIST THAT MAKES ME WANT ANOTHER MUSICAL ABOUT GRACE CHASITY'S DERANGED SELF - also the new context of the song Grace is reprising here makes her a villain even scarier than MAX of all people but that's just me)
9. Literal Monster (A very catchy beat and well structured song that provides a good introduction to a jock-bully with the god complex. also kinda foreshadowing to nerdy prudes must die)
10. Cool As I Think I Am (the instrumentation reminded me of Dear Evan Hansen ngl fjsjd but it really does sound like an I-Want song from a teen-musical which is of course what they are going for - it sounds very nice and earnest though and I loved how it was utilised in the reprise. However I still fucking wish that the I'm Not A Loser motif was used more)
11. Dirty Girl (look I'm sorry for ranking this quite low on the list but like there is no fucking way I'm using this as bait to lure other people in like they'd be scared away I'm sorry fjdjs BUT I love how Will and Angela perform this though like top tier starkid performances ever - its not just what I would listen to on repeat personally jgjdjs)
12. Go Go Nighthawks! (This one gets plus points because of FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE GO GET FUCKED. otherwise its nice and cheery and perfectly shows how happy everyone is without Max but um I kinda wish it could be a bit more especially in terms of showing how happy the other nerds are now that Max is gone but that's just me)
13. Bully The Bully + Bury The Bully (Look I couldn't decide which was better like they both are the same melodies so like gjxjs these two are cute though and I liked seeing the 5 kids bonding in Bully The Bully since we don't get that many scenes with them)
14. The Best Of You (the pop-punk happy number is a staple of teen-centered musicals and it does really sound nice - just isn't that much of a standout compared to the others.)
#also for the best of you i have like a bone to pick with that one as much as i find it a fun song#but that is once again a rambly critique on how steph was utilized in the show sO WE'LL SAVE THAT BONE FOR ANOTHER DAY#but yea that's my NPMD ranking#the music prod here is on another level honestly#like they stepped up their game here#as for lyricism hmm given the genre it's more or less as I expected - i like it but there are some parts where i expected more#but they did a good job in having nuance in some of their songs like Nerdy Prudes Must Die and Just For Once like those r GOOD DEEP DIVES#hmmm maybe i'll do a full review soon of NPMD to just consolidate all my critiquey rambles#rn it's sittiing at a score of 8.5/10#and is probably my top 3 fav starkid musical of all time - tgwdlm and twisted are top 2 and 1#(i cant say much about black friday yet cause i havent watched it but um i have a feeling it could technically be a tie with npmd)#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#npmd spoilers#starkid
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okay, now that i've had some time to sit with last night's episode, i have thoughts. (apologies if this comes off a little rambly and disjointed - i didn't sleep very well last night) spoilers for 6x11
it's officially one of my favourite episodes of 911. i knew going into it that it was going to be extremely emotionally impactful, but i had no idea to what extent. i loved that the focus was on the familial ties between buck and the other characters. all along, a defining part of buck's character arc has been where he fits into his family, especially after the whole daniel reveal. buck's own subconscious finally coming to the realisation that he gets to choose his family, the one that'll love him for him without him having to change who he is is so so important for his development going forward.
now, to address the purported elephant in the room: maybe controversially, i didn't so much mind the lack of eddie in the episode. because like i said, the focus was on familial dynamics. we saw interactions between buck and his parents, maddie and buck, buck and chimney, buck and hen and buck and chris. so we got the sibling angle, the son angle, the best friend angle and the father angle. eddie doesn't fit into any of those boxes that buck has constructed for himself, and buck's subconscious has yet to process why that is. his subconscious hasn't caught up with the fact that eddie slots into the partner role yet, and i firmly believe we'll see that coming later in the season.
additionally, for what its worth, i thought the eddie content we did get was fucking spectacular. because here's a man that, a little over a year ago, was soldiering through his day. putting his mask on, strapping up his boots and doing what needed to be done. and yet, here, when his best friend (his partner in numerous senses) is critically ill in the hospital, he allows himself to be vulnerable. he allows himself to let go, in the presence of both his son and his friend and i think that's truly nothing to be sniffed at. rather that bottling all his emotions up, he allowed himself the space for that vulnerability.
also, the man did not look well! he looked worn out and pale and just all sorts of wrong. his lips were chapped, he had his black clothes on, he had bags under his eyes, like come on. it's right there.
finally, i do want to touch on chimney and buck a little because hoo boy the content we got for them in this episode was fucking incredible. because here's two grown men, who generally have a very playful relationship - they mess around and tease each-other and overall have a very banter filled exchange pretty much everytime we see them on screen. but when buck was confused, when he was a little scared about the reality that he found himself in, the first person he sought out was chimney. his subconscious inherently knew that chimney would believe him, and that he'd be able to help guide him to where he needed to go. i loved getting to see that side of their dynamic and i sincerely hope we get to see a lot more of it moving forward.
overall, i thought last night's episode was incredible, and i want to give the writers a big fat kiss on the lips.
#911 spoilers#911 on fox#evan buckley#eddie diaz#chimney han#rebecca rambles#honestly? maybe top 5 911 ep...definitely top 10
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i never really understood the appeal of podfics but if i'm being real wire guy is like. yes i would like to have it read to me
#i think because with rereading it's easier to skip over stuff even when i don't actually want to...#& well i miss audio books generally honestly i should get back into audio books. i used to listen to wayyyy more of those#now it's just podcasts.#i'm just pretty picky regarding narrators. + i do just like reading words i can't think of a book i'd rather listen to of the top of my hea#maybe some nostalgia stuff like things i listened to on cassettes when i was a kid. some michael ende probably. but beyond that...#unrelated to either of these things but i have 10 tabs open to edit sth of the fatt.wiki. source editing. hellish#i think i'm getting somewhere though. do still need to take my walk though#.... got extremely sidetracked it's been an hour since i started writing this post#rosa talk
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last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here
#but.#even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16#i traveled across the country just to see her again#and it fucking sucked#she ripped that wound right back open#which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come#she made all the plans#honestly the train trip there was nice#i got to experience a lot of cool things#but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life#just nonstop#and now ive finally been away for awhile again#but i still miss her#& i dont know why#but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win#maybe it's just my roll#say all these nice things n then immediately flip#she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there#& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO...#like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it#but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe#but anyway. again. i stayed#over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay#n she'd do it again#until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH#she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried#but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done#but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster#even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating.#what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me
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There are too many things that are relevant to my interests going on and as a result I am in a weird haze where I want to do everything and thus I do nothing.
#not a reblog#i mean look if yesterday's dw special had aired like 10 years ago i would have absolutely EXPLODED#dt AND nph??? like yeah i would not have survived#fixated very heavily on both these guys#and ALSO while i have mouse channel streaming i can go watch the show about the trickster guy since i haven't gotten around to that yet#which of course features another actor i fixated on#and THEN i recently found the jekyll & hyde musical with shin sung rok on spotify#on top of all this is the comfort youtube channel with its almost daily releases#and then maybe getting to FINALLY do d&d things like i've wanted to do basically all my life thanks to a program starting up at the library#and THAT has made my brain go 'hey remember this character you made a while back based on a side character in a terrible movie?'#and unrelated to all of that i want to replay thousand year door#and i still have the goal of getting through fnaf books#so honestly brain just has no clue what to settle on#...wow this is a lot of tags#if you actually read them you get a cookie
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having thoughts about how high school can be something so integral to your entire personality and life and yet when you return you realize it meant nothing at all to those around you
#personal#prompts#not kpop#was thinking about making this a haikyuu thing honestly#but idk where it would have went#like just imagine#suga goes back to visit karasuno sometime#maybe 5 or 10 years in the future#returns to those halls where he felt like a king for a short while#volleyball was only a tiny part of his life in the end#but he brought his team to nationals! he was there!#AND kept up his grades and graduated top of his class with honours and everything!#and maybe it's a little narcissistic to believe that the teachers might remember him#but he finds himself honestly surprised when nobody sees him at all#anyways who am i kidding this is just me#and what kind of really hit me was like#my friend was with me and he was the class clown#skipped class failed tests out of uniform#great guy but not a great student#and EVERY teacher remembered him#meanwhile i was just another kid#theres one of me every year top of the class perfect marks and nothing else to show for it#just another person who peaked in high school#and it hurt to realize that i wasnt so special after all#how conceited can i get?#im exaggerating the teachers i really liked remembered me and it was amazing to talk to them#but like. really. it kinda. was something#anyways im stuck in this weird place where i both think i was amazing and also think i am a huge waste of space#not imposter syndrome not extreme self confidence but some secret third thing#anyways this got WAY too long good BYE
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me: okay lets see what this person's list of best books supposedly is. these videos always are meh but lets try it she seems nice
-her first two books are poto & kay's phantom-
me: -sobbing- I FEEL SEEN
#// ooc#honestly the only book that comes up to this book in my favorites list is TSP and The Historian#maybe addie la.rue but its below all of the mentioned above#idk honestly#would anyone be interested in seeing a list of my fave books? top 10?
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im only a very casual taylor swift fan (everything i know about her comes from people i follow on here who happen to like her) but i found out that she performed getaway car with jack antonoff the other night, and lemme tell you, i would genuinely sell my soul for that
#i only know maybe like half of her discography#if that#i didnt listen to any of her music for years cos i was unfortunately an annoying 'im not like other girls' girlie#but for whatever reason i decided to listen to the whole of reputation when it came out#and since that point getaway car has been on pretty much every playlist i have ever made#like its probably in like my top 10 favourite songs of all time honestly#(also since that point ive listened to each of her albums when theyve come out and i have like 2 or 3 songs on each i frequently go back to#but none like getaway car)#plus like bleachers are one of my absolute top favourite bands ever#so like getaway car plus jack#is literally my dream#id pay the insane prices of her tickets just so i could witness that
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YOUTUBE HAS A YEAR IN REVIEW THING TOO????
delighted im delighted. i've always been sad to miss out on spotify's wrapped thing because i don't like spotify very much or use it often. these youtube stats are for an account that i only made at the beginning of april and only really started using in like june, so this is basically just the past five months.
surprised the nitw soundtracks made it onto my top artists before like, shaffer james or the hoosiers. probably because it's background music so it plays for longer passively. wish I could see more than just a top 5 ahhhhhh
anyway yeah. thrilled . i love music
#spark speaks#yes i have youtube premium i frequently go without internet and i wanted to be able to download songs without the hassle.#dunno if that's part of the bias but spotify is just so unpleasant towards non premium subscribers at least youtube FUNCTIONS for free#apparently i was top 0.4% of two door cinema club listeners?? i wish i knew more what these percentages MEANT#551/9238 minutes were two door cinema club though so that's like....almost 6% of my own personal listening minutes#that sounds about right honestly#kind of funny how my top was two door cinema club but none of their songs made it to top 5????#wish it did top 10 playlists tooooooo#i think probably my oc playlists would be top 5 followed by maybe#''plane of euphemism'' or ''canon fox :(''#..... actually canon fox might be like. top 3.#anyway i love my playlist i love my songs :))))#my tags
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Few things piss me off more than when I'm researching something, and I find someone asking the question I want answered, and the response is just "you shouldn't want that, just do this instead"
Today, it's me trying to look up a build for this witch farm concept that uses raid captains to manipulate the witches ai instead of using redstone
"Just use the shifting floors farms, they're just about as good" people respond... you stupid prick, that's not an answer to the question actually asked. I don't know about these guys, but me, I want it cause it's novel and there's no redstone, and I like putting bespoke prestige projects on my server... you might have noticed I tend to do form over function on a lot of my farms... so this is about form, the function is just a bonus
Second example, I wanted to see if there was any way to make Terra Invicta load faster, "just don't save scum"... you idiot, one that's just stupid advice, people can play games however they want, but two this once again doesn't answer the question
Like yeah, how dare people want to know if there's a way to make a game load saves faster when loading takes like 1 minute
If they at least phrased stuff like "sorry, I don't know how to do that, he's an alternative you might try", it's not helpful but it's at least polite
But man... I just get tired of people not answering the question being asked and instead answering the one they've decided was asked
(Actually, a legit real problem in the real world such as... with doctors who don't listen to their patient and decide they know what's really being asked. Don't do it, answer the asked question, or at least ask questions to confirm what's being asked before going off pig headed)
#anyway; pouring over unhelpful people one dropped a mention that Doc from hermit craft seems to have built this design this season#so now I have to track down that... while youtube's acting stupid like it always does after I've left my computer on a few days#no other websites have an issue; but youtube basically becomes unresponsive for like 5 seconds every 10 seconds#the video plays fine if it's already going; but if I try to start or stop it or click anything it doesn't#wonderful website you have their youtube; I'm sure it's not a windows style processor hog or anything#...I'm also in a bad mood; like I'm fucking hair trigger at the moment; cause of one of my mom's sneezing fits hours ago#I know it sounds stupid; and honestly it feels like I must be faking it or something#but when I hear her do that (and it lasts for minutes; she never sneezes less than like 20 times at the top of her lungs)#I actually start smashing my fucking head with the heels of my hands; like against the ears and temples#have to fucking race for rain sounds and turn them up to max; and then I just kinda sit there rocking like a crazy person#...I don't know... probably has something to do with... some kinda shit in my childhood... can't really put it into words or anything concr#but yeah... this kinda thing already pisses me off on a good day cause conceptually it's a jackass move#'oh; you asked a question? well you're stupid and wrong for wanting this; you should just be me instead'#like I could imagine if you asked someone how to do wood burning having them say 'you can't; you can only cut it with power tools'#that's the kind of mentality going on here#slime chunks are another good example; I wanted to know if there's a way to trim them cause they kinda piss me off#short answer no; they seem to be even more baked into the seed than biomes are these days... which sucks; but it's a full answer#but 'just spawn proof with slabs and buttons' is a stupid fucking answer you moron#oh shit; I never considered the obvious... thanks; it's not like maybe people want a certain vibe to a room they built#2010 ass builders; like yeah; in the end I'm just gonna discretely add spawn proofing where I need it#but... that wasn't the fucking question#anyway; point is this pisses me off anyway; but I'm also so angry on like... a physical level; everything has me spitting bullets#like I had to make my cats leave my room because physically hearing my mom sneeze just upsets me so much that...#well... I kinda lose control; not like where I'd kick the cats or something; but where I might slap them away#so it's just... fuck; I hate that I often end up raising my voice in that state and yelling#I prefer when I at least keep it together enough to stay in a measured tone as I'm like 'move move move' herding them out#but yeah... it fucks me up on a really physical level#even now hours later when I've kinda calmed down; Bart's laying next to me and part of me just wants to shove him away#cause I just can't fucking stand anything at the moment#on a intellectual level... I fucking hate it cause I'm not even that mad; and I want Bart here
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Actually that's kind of funny. I now have it in my brain that Of Course I'll be perfectly fine, financially. This is of course assuming that everything goes fine with me graduating and then getting my IT job. But things would have to go Very Wrong for that to not work out, so??? Yeah idk.
#speculation nation#financial security is a powerful drug...#i did purposefully go to school for a thing that i knew would give plenty of jobs that paid generally well.#always been my plan to be rich. or at least comfortably upper middle class or smth fhskfhdk#i probably wont make it Rich rich. certainly not filthy rich. but thats honestly fine with me.#what i want is to have enough money to comfortably pay for anything that i want (within reason)#and then some more on top of that so i can be freely giving with it. as much as i can.#i already do donate a good bit. to like gofundmes and such. and i buy things for my friends sometimes if they dont have the money for smth#would love to buy MORE for them if money pride wasnt a thing.#like ppl struggling to accept money given freely. that kind of thing. idk i try to be respectful to ppl but i wish i could give more.#but my dream. always been part of my wish to Get Rich. i wanna be able to help with significant expenses.#i wanna be able to help ppl pay their rent if they cant make it. like oh you need $600 still? here you go!#my heart aches for so many ppl and i try to give to as many as i can. but while i have money rn it is decidedly finite.#i have no income right now. i need to make this last until after im done with school At Least.#so i cant be over the top with it. but i WANT to be. i want to give to everyone who is in need.#and it sucks that filthy rich people dont feel the same. but theyre horrible people anyways. so it makes sense.#at the very least. maybe i can be a change in the world for Some people. even if it's as small as buying someone a dvd theyve been wanting.#... actually this is a very strange position to be in for me. considering the conditions i initially grew up in.#theres a part of me that grew up poor that still winces at $10 sandwich prices.#and then another part of me that goes '? it's only $10. that's nothing to you.'#probably good for me to still keep awareness of prices tho. as my money is. in fact. not infinite 😭😭😭
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one of my greatest iwtv s3 fears is that lestat is gonna be weird abt gabrielle just like he is in the books
#idk where i saw this but i heard someone say the producers said theyre gonna turn up the freak factor next season#and it was specifically in relation to gabrielle and that honestly does not invite a good feeling within me#like everyone talks abt that like its so silly goofy but it just makes me so uncomfortable#like its in the top 10 of anne rices crimes against humanity for me#i want the show to give her someone to be gay w. this is how gabrielle x jesse can still win (literally interacted maybe once in the books)#also would be awesome if she could cut her hair in the show. id love to see that for her <3#vinnie talks
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