#honestly let's just name her high queen

[makelemonade]

The Tsaritsa is the archon of love, so when she notices and feels that the love lives of her Harbingers aren’t going too well, she has to interfere.

female reader, hurt/comfort, the harbingers are all friends; Pierro and Capitano. - pt2

Pierro

Being the Tsaritsa’s righthand and her first Harbinger was a stressful job. He was hardly at her side despite being her righthand but the moment she needed something done, the first person she’ll go to is him.

The Tsaritsa also hardly shows her face in public, so if there is any event she ever plans for the Fatui, whether it be a gala, ball or anything- she’ll make Pierro go to talk, even though SHE’S the one who hosted it.

Well, sometimes she’s there, lurking. No one actually knows it’s her since she chooses to stay hidden.

She decides to hold an eventful masquerade ball one night to celebrate the success of her Harbinhers. It’s one that she of course probably won’t even be going to and Pierro must go on her behalf.

Despite being his lover of many years, aka HIS WIFE, he has never once let you come to one of these and just says you’ll be bored out of your mind.

But a MASQUERADE BALL?! HELD BY THE QUEEN?! You had to go. This was your dream.

You begged for DAYS and he was so sick of it that he was forced to say yes.

Only for him to completely leave your side the moment you get there. At first, you thought that maybe it was just because he had a job to do, but throughout the night, he did not even spare you one glance.

You were standing off to the side, downing your 5th glass of champagne you’ve been stealing from the trays.

You felt upset, honestly. This was your first ever ball with him, one that you prepared for in terms of elegance and manners. You even made your own dress! It was ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS and it matched your mask and yet he didn’t even say anything.

You watched as he spoke to the Harbingers and important figures in Snezhnaya; they all laughed, smiled and showed off their guests, lovers or whoever they brought and you were practically discarded.

He acted like he had no lover tonight, and It made you wonder if his coworkers even knew he had a wife. Did he ever talk about you? Do they ever wonder why you’re never at the events? Do they even know your name?!

You struggled to listen in to their conversation, only being able to hear if one of them spoke loudly or the room went somewhat quieter.

You heard one speak a bit loud; the mayor of Snezhnaya.

“My Jester, I’ve never once seen you attend these with a guest. Why is that?”

The next voice was quiet, but you knew your husbands voice.

“I simply don’t have anyone to bring.”

You almost dropped your 6th glass of champagne, and if you did drop it, it would’ve broken just like your heart just did.

Married for YEARS yet they don’t even know who you are.

You waited for another waiter to walk by and slammed your glass down onto the tray, deciding you couldn’t stay in this ballroom anymore.

Walking around, you found doors that led out to a balcony and was thankful there was no one on it as you rushed to it.

The doors weren’t open wide so no one would see you out on there, thankfully. You took off your mask, letting your tears flow as you quietly sobbed, ignoring the cold hitting any bare skin.

On these nights, the Tsaritsa always seemed to calm down the weather. There was no harsh snow or rain, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t still cold- if anything, this was almost warm.

You leaned against the railing, your hot tears melting through any remaining snow left on it.

Shivering, you couldn’t go back inside- your mascara was probably smudged by now and you didn’t want to look at your husband.

You were thinking of ways to try to leave the ball without your husband noticing but in full honesty, he probably didn’t even notice you were gone right now.

You didn’t even hear the clacks of high heels until you felt something drape over your shoulders and you almost yelped out of surprise.

It was a coat; a long, fluffy one at that. You looked to your side to see you’d been joined by another woman.

Her skin was as pale as the snow, her hair long, flowy and honestly you could’ve sworn it was glowing. Her eyes were as sharp as ice yet as soft as snow.

Her dress was white, with laces of icy blue and sapphires adorned; the same with her mask.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone hide out on a balcony during any of these.” She almost laughed, “Too cold.”

You wondered how she wasn’t cold; she’d given you her jacket, and her arms were bare yet she seemed perfectly fine as she leaned across the railing.

She even dared to jump up on it, sitting down as if there wasn’t a huge risk she could fall off with one gust of strong wind.

That made you noticed there were no harsh winds tonight.

“What’s wrong, dear?” She asked, ever so softly as she took in the sight of your tears.

“Just my husband,” you scoffed, moving a hand up to wipe them. You didn’t know why you were exposing this to a complete stranger yet there was just something about her that seemed like it was right to do so.

She hummed, then chuckled. “Love; such a beautiful yet painful feeling. Glad I’ve had my fair share with it.”

“You’ve been in love before?” You asked, genuinely interested in this random woman’s life.

“Many, many times.” She leaned back a bit, holding onto the railing as she looked up to the sky with a sad smile, watching the northern lights dance.

“Which makes it necessary that I must help people in love.” She looked back down to you, “if you so wish to speak.”

You sighed, wrapping the coat around you closer as you shivered. “I’ve been married to my husband for years, yet it feels like nothing. He has a stressful job- he works for her majesty, so I never ever complain about his absence. Yet tonight, he completely disregarded the fact of my existence and, even his own coworkers don’t know I exist! He won’t introduce me! Am I truly his wife if he can’t even act as my husband?!” You just groaned, looking up at the lights just as she did before.

She took in your words, nodding at every angry or frustrated rant within. After a minute, she spoke.

“Have you ever thought he doesn’t introduce you because of his coworkers?”

You looked down, turning to her confused yet encouraging her to continue, intruiged.

“The Harbingers…as loyal as they may be, some are rather dangerous, reckless and if I dare say myself, absolutely weird.”

You cackled. There was no way this random lady was dissing THE TSARITSA’S HARINGERS. “Do you truly have no fear?!”

She just laughed as well, hopping off the railing to now stand beside you. “I speak the truth. Maybe take that into consideration; perhaps, even though he is the first harbinger and can definitely take on all of them if any dared to touch you-“

You broke out into laughter again.

“-maybe think it’s to protect you from them. His actions tonight are not to be forgotten, and I assure you that soon he will realize his wrong and all will be will.”

You took in her words, looking back up to the sky. Well, she wasn’t wrong; he was the first harbinger, and even though he is insanely powerful, that didn’t mean the others weren’t.

Maybe he was trying to protect you, but that didn’t defend his actions.

You turned to thank the woman, but was met with nothing. She was gone- you didn’t even hear her leave!

Then that reminded you- how the hell did she know he was the first harbinger?! You only mentioned she worked for him.

You still had her coat and you walked towards the doors to head back inside, hoping to find her but she was nowhere near.

You just sighed, choosing to sit on the bench at the side of the balcony. Wrapping the coat around you.

It was large, insanely large- the type of coat that would honestly fit the size of your husband….

You took a closer look at the coat, only to notice the Fatui emblem.

Who the hell was this woman?!

~~

“And then I told that stupid fennec green-haired bastard- OH MY ARCHONS!” Dottore stopped his story when he noticed the sudden presence of his archon and every other harbinger within the circle yelped.

“This is a first.” Capitano muttered, no one knowing if he was surprised or not under that mask.

They all tried to bow but she out her hands out. “Nono! No one knows I’m here other than you all so do not make a scene!” She whisper-yelled and they all immediately straightened themselves.

“Pierro,” She turned to him,

“Yes, your majesty?” He bowed his head,

“May we take a walk?” She asked, putting her arm out.

He nodded, wrapping his arm around hers. “Continue your story, dottore.” She called before she and the first harbinger walked around the ballroom.

“Your wife looks gorgeous tonight.” She said once they were out of earshot.

He looked at her with shock. “How did you-?”

“Pierro,” she sighed, coming to a halt. “You have been at my side for 500 years. You are my best friend but I am also your Archon; nothing gets past me, and as the God of Love it is my duty to tell you that your wife is heartbroken at your actions tonight and i’d advise for you to speak to her!”

During this; she somehow pushed him all the way to the doors and at her final words, she pushed him out onto the balcony, the warmth of the ballroom now gone.

He looked around and found your tear-stained face on the bench and he sighed, sitting beside you.

“You look adorable in that,” He laughed at HIS coat on you.

“Would you like to meet my coworkers, darling? I don’t want you to put this gorgeous dress to waste.”

Capitano

The fourth harbinger hardly ever talks. At meetings, he speaks a total of four words. There are very few Harbingers he will speak too and the only ones he actually talks to more than anyone else is Pierro, Dottore and Signora.

Just because you are his wife does not mean this excludes you.

The Tsaritsa had put both you and him down for an arranged marriage just a few months ago. Her reasoning- told through Pierro- being that Capitano seriously needs someone in his life and she’d rather it be someone who talks a lot- aka you.

You never met the Tsaritsa, but you worked for the Harbingers as a secretary so even before your arranged marriage you’ve had your fair share with all of them.

The Tsaritsa HOPED that maybe at meetings and gatherings capitano would finally talk more after marrying you and yet he remained as quiet as usual according to Pierro and she was gonna lose her shit.

Now, in the privacy of your home with him, he is more comfortable with you than the others. He’s shown you his face, but in truth the only reason being because he doesn’t want to sleep with it on and you literally sleep with him so…

He talks a bit more; he says good morning, good afternoon, good night..

Yeah…

At first you were fine with it; it was better than when you were just his secretary and he’d leave work on your desk with a note saying “have done by today. thanks :)”

It was cute you wouldn’t lie. you just wished he showed that little emotion on the note in real life.

It was nice having someone to constantly talk to and yap to; he always listened in with such focus, and would nod to show he was listening and interested.

But after doing that for months it just gets so tiring to the point it’s just depressing.

You may be married to him now but that didn’t mean your job was gone, so you were still at work with him. Sometimes it would be in his office or in someone else’s if they need help.

One day, at work on your break, you found all the Harbingers into the lounge.

“Y/N!” Childe laughed. “Our favourite- come sit with us!”

You shook your head. “I couldn’t impose, my lord. I was just taking my break.”

“Nonsense,” Signora waved her hand, shaking her head. “Take your break with us.”

Choosing to sit with all of them, you noticed Capitano wasn’t there- as per usual.

As you sat with them and they talked about their lives and missions, they’d ask you a few questions about Capitano. At first, it was simple questions about your marriage thay were deemed common sense which you’d answer yes to, but then it went into questions about him, which is when it got humiliating.

They’d ask about where he was from, what did he like to do in his pastime, why does he hardly talk, what’s his favourite food, drink, how does he like his tea, what are his next missions-

All you could not answer, and instead of you, his own wife answering, Pierro did.

You excused yourself when you realized that was absolutely humiliating. How could you, his wife of several months- close to a year now!- not know anything about him yet his BOSS, knew everything?!

When you left, Pierro noticed everything at that moment, and decided he NEEDED to bring this up with the Archon of Love, but let’s be real.

She already knew, and was trying to figure out ways to fix this; “We need Pantalone and Childe for this. They’re handsome, touchy, flirty and perfect.”

The next day, you’re confused when Pantalone and Childe are suddenly bothering you with everything; Yes, usually they’re asking you to help with paperwork but today was different…

It started in the morning when Childe came up to you asking you to spar with him. He’s only ever asked once, and he literally almost killed you that time. You were strong, but you had no vision and he was a literal harbinger.

He promised he’d go easy, and the sparring session lasted for about 30 minutes. By the end of it, you were completely sweaty and your hair was a mess- he apologized and offered to take you out for lunch

You accepted but decided to at least go put your stuff in your husbands office before you left.

Capitano is a little confused when you walk in absolutely drenched of sweat but just decides you’ll probably talk about it tonight when you’re both laying in bed and continues to work on a few papers.

“Apologies,” You let out a breathy laugh, putting down any bags you brought to work that morning. “I just finished sparring with Childe, and he’s taking me out for lunch. I’ll be back later.”

He doesn’t say anything and you just sigh, already knowing not to expect anything.

From the top of the castle, Pierro and The Tsaritsa watch as you and Childe run away from the castle, clutching onto your coats for dear life from the harsh, cold wind.

“So, what’s the plan here?” He asked, “Pardon my forwardness but I truly am confused.”

She just grinned. “Well, first I asked that Childe were to spar with her and take her out to lunch, which I truly hope makes Capitano the slightest bit jealous. Then upon her return, Pantalone will magically return from the gardens with a rose and give it to her and she’ll go back to her office and tell Capitano about her day and he’ll realize and get jealous and fuck her.”

He groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “I did not need to know that last part. And if that doesn’t work?”

“A god always has another plan.”

You and Childe are at lunch for about 2 hours; really it would’ve been shorter but you and Childe were BOTH insane talkers so naturally you were there for a long time.

Returning to the castle, Pantalone was seen emerging from the gardens holding a few roses and Childe, for some reason, took that as his queue to wish you his goodbyes and hurry away.

“Good afternoon, Lord Pantalone.” You bowed and he just chuckled.

“No need for pleasantries, Y/N. Here,” He handed you a rose and your eyes were full of surprise as you took it.

You became rather flustered, beginning to stutter. “O-oh, thank you! It’s beautiful.”

“Just for a beautiful girl like you.” He winked and you giggled.

“I’ll be off to give these to Signora. Have a lovely day, Y/N.” He smiled before making his way down the hall, and in seconds he was gone.

You stared down at the rose, feeling giddy. You’d never even received flowers- not even when you got married! Your wedding day wasn’t really even a wedding, instead Pierro officially declaring for you two to be wed and well, that was it.

You practically skipped back to your office, ready to tell your husband all about your day.

~~

“So this morning I got here and the MOMENT I did Childe magically found me and asked me if I wanted to spar! and I was like hesitant because the last time we sparred he like literally almost killed me but he promised he’d go easy on me and he sortaaaa didn’t so he decided he’d take me out to lunch and we were there for like 2 hours just talking and he was so king enough to pay for both! then we got back and Pantalone gave me a rose and he did so with such a sweet compliment! Isn’t that sweet?”

Your husband was not phased by your sudden burst and continued to work, just nodding at everything every few seconds.

“That’s nice.” He murmured, continuing to work- seriously what the hell was he working on for so long?!

You frowned, expecting a little bit more, but at this point it was stupid to expect something from him that now you were a little angry but mostly sad.

You glanced at the rose you had put down in a vase within the room and sighed. “Do you really not care? Are you seriously not jealous?”

His movements paused.

“Like, a man literally just took me out to lunch for 2 hours and practically spent the first half of the day with me, and then another man gives me a rose and tells me I’m as beautiful as it is and you don’t say anything?! I know this is just an arranged marriage but- but I would’ve thought that…maybe you loved me as much as I love you.”

You waited for him to say something, expecting just anything, but that’s the thing with expecting-

You’re met with nothing.

Sighing, you bowed down to him. “My…apologies for overlooking this marriage…my lord. I’ll return to work.” You grimaced acknowledging him so formally, but maybe that was for the best.

You turned around, rushing out of the room before he could say anything, but mostly so he wouldn’t see your tears threatening to pour out.

When the door closed behind you, you let the tears fall as you ran through the dark halls of the castle, trying to find anywhere to hide in.

You made your way to the lounge, happy it was empty as you took a seat on the comfy couch, dragging a hand down your face while also wiping your tears.

Archons, how would you even return home to him tonight? It would be absolutely awkward to have to lay in bed beside him after that outburst.

For the first time, you dreaded having to return home. You loved the warmth he brought whenever you two lay beside each other, and it was even better when he held you.

That made you cry more- how could someone as distant as him, be so soft towards you and hold you when he doesn’t even love you?!

“You know when I heard you and Capitano were getting married I was like- no way.”

You jumped at the sudden voice and somehow, you hadn’t even noticed Signora was sitting beside you and you yelped as you quickly stood up, bowing down.

“M-my lady! I’m so sorry I was just lea-“

“You’re not going anywhere.” She shook her head, patting her hand down on the seat you were just on.

You sighed, realizing you genuinely couldn’t disobey her and sat beside her. You took in her words, “you weren’t the only one; everyone else was shocked.”

“Do you ever think the Tsaritsa was wrong in her choice?” she asked.

You frowned. “In full honesty, I trust her majesty, but maybe this was something she didn’t look into with all her might. It just…doesn’t seem to be working out.”

Signora leaned back into the couch, deciding to get comfy and you took that as a sign to do the same. “Have I ever told you about my lover?”

You shook your head.

“God, 500 years ago. A bit more, actually. He was handsome, amazing, annoying- he honestly reminded me a bit of Capitano. Sure he talked a bit more but I was the talker in our relationship. However, then the cataclysm happened and…look at me now.”

You frowned, looking at her sadly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She smiled sadly, “No matter how much they don’t talk or how much they don’t seem to focus on you or anything, take into consideration that they’re willing to be there. It’s difficult, to find love especially in so many circumstances, but love is everywhere. I see it with you two, and I know. I know you two can make it.”

You glanced down at her lap to find a rose.

You looked back up at her. “What should I do?”

“Force him to talk.” She laughed. “A man as big as him also has a big heart. Seriously, cry In front of him and he’ll become puddy and do everything for you. He made a child cry once and he almost cried.”

You both broke out into fits of giggles, you trying to imagine that and her remembering it.

“Thank you.” You smiled at her, “Permission to-“

“Just go,” She waved her hand, rolling her eyes. “You don’t need my permission.”

With one final smile, you quickly got up, rushing to make your way back to his office and force him to talk.

Emerging from behind a wall was the Tsaritsa, who stood behind her friend. “How was it?”

“They’re so fucking.” Signora grinned.

~~

You opened the door to his office, but was met with him standing right in front of it, hand hovering in the air.

You practiced what you were going to say to him, but now having him standing right in front of you- literally towering over you- you had no idea what to say.

However, he out his hands up to his helmet, forcing it off and just throwing it to the side and you were met with his glossy eyes.

“I’m sorry,” He sniffed, moving his fingers up to rub at his eyes. “I love your rambles- archons I live for them. Every morning when I wake up, I can’t wait to to hear you talk about what your so excited for throughout the day and at night, I can’t wait to hear how your day was. I love you, my dear. I know I don’t…express it much, but I do. So much.”

Tears started to well up in your eyes once again. “Cap…”

“I’ll prove it to you.” He breathed out, a hand making its way to cup your cheek to wipe away a falling rear before he leaned down, connecting his lips with yours so passionately, but most importantly, it was full of love.

He deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue in and you let out a whimper as your knees buckled, and he was quick to wrap an arm around your waist, holding you up right before he decided to just pick you up and you yelped, breaking the kiss as he carried you over to his desk, pushing everything off and ignoring the sound of the vase with the rose breaking- instead he smiled at it.

Down the hall, Pantalone, Childe, Pierro, Signora and the Tsaritsa were all grinning.

“They are one hundred percent fucking.” Childe laughed as they all high-fived each other- expect Pierro, who just walked away with a sigh.

[fandomhopper-shit]

𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐏𝐞𝐭

Regina George x Female Reader

Summary : After the bus incident regina started to become more aware of everything around her one thing that stuck out to her was the cute girl that sat at the back of her algebra class, turns out she wasn't the only one to see that after all the girl seemed to be the Teacher's Pet

Warnings: Ooc Regina? Internal and External Homophobia, Forced Religion, Manipulation, Perverted old men,Terrible Parents, Swearing, Mentions of Forced Marriage, Protective Regina and Mild Scopophobia [Fear of Being looked at]

A/N: This is probably gonna be terrible like my other one so i will probably keep this in my drafts part 2 will come out just not eventually

Regina's Pov :

Walking back through the halls of North shore was a completely different experience for me since i wasn't the queen be anymore i started to see more of the 'background characters' as the old me would say, there were so many underrated cliques that honestly looked kinda cool and fun to hang out with for example ; The goths their make up looked so complicated but it fit them just as much as their clothes then there was the softball girls who looked like they could kick your ass but when you looked close enough they were just a bunch of goofy masc's but I would never tell any of them this to their faces I was reformed but I was still Regina George.

I walked into my Homeroom and saw a new teacher, I guess since it was a new year so there were bound to be some new people but what really caught my eye was the girl sat in the back of the classroom near the window, she was pretty. Really pretty. She wore a red oversized hoodie that was covered in white stars that were painted on there were other splatters of paint on it which just made it all the more unique then she had a plaid skirt that fell comfortably onto her thighs she wore thigh high socks with vans that once again had stars painted all over them but this time they re painted baby pink. It was adorable she looked too innocent to be going to a school like North shore.

I snapped out of my daze when the final bell rang I looked around for new seat and lit up when i saw one in front of the cutie, I quickly walked towards it before any other jock could take it. When i sat down she glanced away from the window towards me and a look of fear i think passed her face i couldn't tell because her face went blank as soon as she looked back at the window completely ignoring my presence I frowned and turned my head back around to see the new teacher looking at her with a weird glint in his eye it made me suspicious but i pushed it aside when he started speaking.

I think i could speak for everyone when I say we were surprised at the strong Southern accent the man had "Y'all bring to your books out we're gonna be looking' over some extra stuff y'all'd've see last year" He paused and let his eyes scan the entire classroom looking onto the girl behind me who refused to raise her head and meet his gaze and for some reason he smirked showing off his rancid brown smoker teeth then he went back to having a passive look, something about him made me and all the other girls and guys in class extremely uncomfortable he was watching us as if we were pieces of meat or worse Toys "Alright everyone My name is Mr Rockefeller, y'all will address me as such ye hear." He had a threatening undertone causing everyone even the football jocks to shrink into thir seats and nod.

The lesson went on and the uncomfortable energy increased especially when he was walking round the classroom 'helping' students with the work, by pure luck he didn't come over to me but he did spend half the lesson with the mystery girl behind me whispering things to her i could hear her swallowing and shuffling uncomfortably in her seat. I couldn't hear everything he was saying but i definitely caught bits and pieces that made me sick to my stomach, the bell rang and we all rushed towards the door I was about to make it out the door when I heard him call someone back "Ms (L/N) please stay behind I' do like to discuss some matters with you," He had the same weird glint in his eyes as he had at the start of the lesson it was unnerving and borderline predatory my posture stiffened i wanted to say something but my body didn't let me luckily Ms Norbury came in "Mr Rockefeller i'm sorry but Miss (L/N) must come with me to sort out the rest of classes as well as her clubs that her parents signed her up for her," She said not noticing the tense atmosphere in the room, i didn't even notice the breath that left my body.

Ms Norbury turned to me "Ah Regina just the girl i wanted to see, as a part of your new leaf you wouldn't mind if you could show miss (L/N) around the school and take her to her clubs you wouldn't mind that would you Great thank you," she rushed past me after a message popped up on her phone, leaving me stood in the entrance of the classroom while the new teacher and Student were stood in the classroom. The man looked like he was about to murder someone and the girl looked sort of relived but terrified, after a few seconds of awkward seconds she slowly walked towards me like a timid little deer avoiding my eyes and handed me a piece of paper i looked it over and realised it was practically a copy of mine, I smiled to myself "Well looks like we have very class together besides Pe but right now we have English so let's go," I gave the teacher an awkward wave as he glared at me as if i ruined his life, guiding her out the classroom we walked in silence she was constantly avoiding everyones eyes who turned to us so in response i glared at them and they turned away. Just cause i was turning a new leaf didn't mean couldn't install the fear of god into them.

We reached the classroom, walked in and i let her pick the seat she was most comfortable in which was closer to the back window I sat next to her and passed her back her schedule "After this we have History which is at top floor Then Art, Math and Lunch if you want you can sit with my friends?" I shifted in my seat nervously when she didn't reply for a good 30 seconds had i overstepped was she uncomfortable oh god shit shit shit i didn't mean to do that what do i do maybe i ca-

My spiralling was cut off when i heard a small southern voice quiet enough that i almost thought i imagined it "Your okay, don't wanna disturb y'all," She whispered letting her hair fall infant of her face to avoid my eyes as if she said something wrong, Her accent was similar to Mr Rockefeller's except more pleasant and it reminded me of a little mouse it was adorable. "We'd love to have you with us (Y/N) don't worry they'll love you," i gently let my hand hover over her arm not actually touching her but letting her know i was there, in homeroom she seemed to hate physical touch she flinched when someone brushed their hand on hers when she let them borrow a pen not to mention the way she was shaking like a leaf when Mr Rockefeller was practically pressing himself up behind her "I'll make sure they don't bombard you too much, if you get overwhelmed by them I'll take you out of there just tap my knee is that good? " the short time i've known her i guess you could say i'm protective of her.

She gave me a small smile so small in fact I almost missed it, the lesson carried on till the bell rang and everyone filed out chatting with their friends in the middle of the hall way it looked normal to me but she looked like she was overwhelmed her eyes were darting all over the place and she was shaking slightly without a single thought i hovered my hand over the small of her back and guided her to the top floor towards our history class, by the time we got there she had calmed down and was almost leaning in to my touch but i was probably imagining it we made it and the lesson went on as normal other than the teacher welcoming everyone.

@dandelions4us

[m00nl1ghts1vt]

♡‧₊˚ Sweetheart!Reader x Babydaddy!Chris - Gender Predictions ♡‧₊˚

♡ Sweetheart!reader believes she’s having a baby girl! Solely based on her intuition and wants for a little girl. She imagines herself dressing up in matching outfits with her daughter, styling her hair in cute hairstyles, and having a mini-her to take on nail dates. Being the simple queen she is, sweetheart!reader dresses in all white dress, keeping everyone guessing about her gender prediction. She makes sure to wear pink clothes pins, though.

♡ Babydaddy!Chris has been manifesting a son since he found out about the pregnancy. He only refers to the baby as ‘baby bean’ or his ‘son’, only using he/him pronouns when he addresses the baby. Much like sweetheart!reader, he imagines himself with a mini-him. A son to teach sport and play video games with. Chris wears all blue to the event, making it known he wants his baby boy!

♡ Mary Lou wants a granddaughter! Of course, she wants her first grandchild to be a girl, especially since she has all sons. She wears all pink to the party she set up for you and Chris. Even though her and Jimmy are hosting, neither of them are the gender keeper - they both refused the offer, wanting it to be a surprise for them as well.

♡ Jimmy just wants a healthy baby. He could care less if baby bean is a boy or a girl. In fact, he wore a pink and blue striped shirt and took both pink and blue clothes pins at the gender reveal.

♡ Matt rocked two blue clothes pins, he secretly wanted sweetheart!reader to have multiples! Let’s be honest, he wouldn’t know what to say or do if his niece was asking him about boy advice in 15 years.

♡ Nick is team girl, along with sweetheart!reader and his mom. He sports a pink t-shirt to the event. Nick made it clear from the beginning he wanted a niece. Their family is filled with too much testosterone. No doubt, he’d love the baby either way, but a change would be nice.

♡ Sweetheart!Reader’s mom picks up extra pink clothes pins at the door. There are more girls on sweetheart!reader’s side of the family so her mom is convinced baby bean is a girl!

♡ Sweetheart!Reader’s Dad is team boy! He’d happy either way but he’s really rooting for a grandson since they don’t have any!

♡ Nate is team boy! Of course, he has to side with Chris and Matt, being the good best friend he is. He comes to gender reveal dressed in a blue polo tee.

♡ Sweetheart!reader’s best friend is team girl. Just like Nate, she’s sticking with her besties intuition. She rocks all pink to you gender reveal.

Old Wives Tales Gender Predictions

Chinese Calendar Girl Boy

Baby’s Heart Rate >140 <140

Mom’s Cravings Sweet Salty

Dad’s Weight Gain Maintain

Mom’s Moods Moody Chill

Headaches No Yes

Carrying High Low

Dreams Girl Boy

Partners Intuition Girl Boy

Mothers Intuition Girl Boy

Sleeping On Right Left

Belly Shape Wide Round

Mom’s Skin Breakouts Clear

Morning Sickness Yes No

Ring Test Circle Line

Total Points 7 9

Name Predictions

Boy Names Girl Names

Christopher Jr Kinsley

Noah Emorie

Owen Adalynn

Malakai Wrenly

Kayson Layla

Cash Avalyn

An - I wanted to keep you guys on you heel about the gender of the baby 🫣 Mainly because I honestly don't know if they should have a boy or a girl lol. I'm really debating! Anyways, I hope everyone likes whatever this is??(also I’ve been dropping a few hints at the baby’s name, if I don’t change it lol)

Tags - @lvrsturniolo @ribread03 @unknvhx @m11rx @sweetshuga @loveparqdise @frickin-bats @katie-tibo @delusional-4-fake-people @leila-marie4 @shadowthesim @immy08 @trevorsgodmother

Masterlist for all my works

Babydaddy!Chris Masterlist

Taglist (comment to be added)

Ask me questions or give me suggestions for Babydaddy!Chris & Sweetheart!Reader

© All Rights Reserved m00nl1ghts1vt. Please do not copy my work.

All dividers and photo edits are mine. Feel free to use dividers.

[fancyfeathers]

Requested in messages by @elvabeth

A scenario that lets say all the darlings were in the JL watchtower by themselves cause of some world ending event. The tower is on lockdown (courtesy of batman) to prevent them from escaping. Unfortunately, while the JL are at the other side of the planet or something, the watchtower ends up being attacked by aliens, robots, armed goons or all of them and the darlings can't escape. Doors to the outside are locked. The windows are barred or stuff Ps luthor is responsible Or some sort of high end terrorist group That wants to bring down the Justice League The worst part is that even when the darlings made to the backdoor or secret door whatnot, they can't leave cause of their shock bracelets. Plus the communication system in the tower have been hacked so they can't call for help. Worst part, the Justice league aren't aware of this until after they're done with their mission when Barry can't reach his darling's phone. But when they get there, The watchtower is in shambles and they meet this kind of scene

Minus the dead people The shock bracelets are on the floor soaked in blood but their darlings are no where to be found How will they take this and what's the aftermath Sorry it's so long Ps Hal's darling is paralyzed here

Yandere!Justice League AU Masterlist

Not including Diana’s and Arthur’s darling because I covered why they would not be in the Watchtower or the Hall of Justice here

TW// Very Slight Ableism, Miscarriage, Traumatic Injuries, Loss of Body Parts

It would have been an extremely dangerous incident, the level of Doomsday, in order for everyone to leave. Hell, normally Bruce leaves his darling back at the manor but he has no idea of when he would be returning.

Their one mistake was choosing to leave their darlings in the Hall of Justice instead of the Watchtower, it would be easier to get them all out on the ground if something went wrong.

The Hall of Justice was locked up so tight so that even a drop of sunlight would not even get in, or even oxygen from the outside, but the hall is big enough that they do not even have to worry suffocating.

At first the quiet and person space is nice for a change, especially for Hal’s darling since when he is there he practically never lets her move about on her own, she honestly misses those days as a detective more than anything, but then… she had her accident not too long ago.

Clark’s darling is really just happy to be around other people, it somewhat helps break the perfect family delusion he has made, a darling who is pregnant with his child. It reminds her of who she used to be before all of this occurred.

Barry’s darling is in the same boat as Clark, albeit a tad less delusional, at least lucid enough to know his darling does not want any children… yet, at least. Barry being Barry, I don’t think he can go complete no contact with his darling, so he lets her have phone which has one of those network monitors, so practically all she can do is text and call Barry and whoever else he lets her have contact with. So every few hours he calls up his darling to check up on her, and she does not even have the choice to hang up or ignore it because he has a setting to answer on her behalf, benign all happy and cheerful on the phone, asking how she’s been and having Batman yelling at him to put the damn phone down.

Both Oliver Queen’s and Bruce Wayne’s darlings is just kind of indifferent to it all, it does change any of their circumstances in the long run. Then thanks to Bruce none of them will even have the chance to get out of there, you know those ankle bracelets that people wear on house arrest? Ya turn that up to eleven, pulse, mics, precision point accurate tracking, and a small shock to keep them in line and out of forbidden areas. Though a few won’t let their darlings have this on, because what if something goes wrong or what if it malfunctions and it hurts them? This is namely Clark (because he can always have eyes, or ears rather, on his darling at all times), Hal (his darling was stabbed in the back, literally, when she was a detective and is paralyzed from the waist down, like hell he is going to let something go wrong and fuck her up and hurt her even more), and then Kyle just doesn’t like the vibe of it all.

Kyle Rayner’s and John Stewart’s darlings are just kinda all used to it at this point, with the things they have heard about from the Green Lanterns it’s normally just a question if they should be not worried, slightly worried, or very worried and normally this means how much they need to bunker down. When Hal’s darling comes along they just kinda form a group with how much they get tossed around from place to place for their own protection while they are away.

Then there is just J’onn J’onnes’ darling, who I see being in more of an aroace relationship with him, she is just over everything, literally nothing bothers her because well she does not have no more privacy of her own mind. Like while everyone else is slightly scared or when members of the League are leaving their darlings there, she is just sitting in an armchair, reading her book, completely unbothered by what is happening even when she gets one of Bruce’s cuffs on her ankle.

Now onto the interesting bit of things, it’s one of the nights when they are all alone, they had just finished cleaning up from dinner and everyone is settling down for the night, all of them going off and doing their own things.

And things certainly go wrong in the night.

…

When the Justice League returns they certainly do not expect what they see…

Everything is in ruins…

Blood lining the walls…

The cuffs on the ground and-

Oh god that is an arm.

The footage was bugged so they cannot even look back to see what happened, the power was cut which made everything a complete blackout.

Bruce would barely be able to track anything if it was not for the last security measure he put in place, a chip in his darling’s neck so he could track her if anything went wrong.

While everyone else is arguing about what to do, Bruce and Clark have already figured out their location, though Bruce is much more put together than Clark is.

The Superman looks mortified, just standing there in shock and staring down at the ground.

“There is only one heartbeat…”

Their unborn child never got to see life because of what happened.

It was some mass terrorist organization who the Justice League had bumped heads with before. They saw an opportunity and took it, god knows how they got the information but if they were able to hack the system of the Hall of Justice then they really should not be surprised.

They can’t kill…

But they have to rescue them first…

And then shut down what’s going on.

The Green Lanterns will get to the darlings first, use their constructs to stabilize whatever happened to them, Clark’s darling is a priority since a miscarriage can be deadly, so is Hal’s darling due to her condition, along then with whoever lost the arm. The others will clear the way and-

When they find them all they are a complete mess…

Serious lacerations on every single one of them.

Hal’s darling was clearly thrown against the wall when they arrived and she clearly had head damage and was laying in her own blood that she could not even push herself out of due to the injured state of her arms and the uselessness of her legs.

Serious damage to the left eye of Barry’s darling, cut by some sort of rusted weapon.

Kyle’s darling had broken her right ankle and left leg, along with a huge gash on her upper back. John’s darling was looking after her as the best she can with a broken foot.

Oliver’s darling is the one with the missing arm, clean sliced off along with a punctured lung and in a state of unconsciousness while Bruce’s darling looks after her since she was lucky to get off with only a sprained ankle.

Then there was Clark’s darling, a complete mess, head trauma, broken ribs, and a miscarriage causing her to bleed out. Similar to the previous, J’onn J’onnes’ darling was in well enough condition to take care of her, just enough to stabilize her.

When everything is said and done and they are safe again, there is a heavy bitterness in the air.

The kidnapped them saying that they were keeping them safe…

Hal’s darling entered a coma from her head injuries after being rescued and has not woken up yet after her surgeries.

Barry’s darling had to get her eye removed in order to prevent infection, and then minor damage to the other eye.

Kyle’s darling can’t move out of the awkward position the doctors put her in on her side, so she doesn’t put pressure on the gash on her back or the shattered leg with a metal pole in her leg because of it.

John’s darling is one of the lucky few with only a boot and crutches for a few weeks.

Oliver’s darling had gone into surgery after surgery for her injuries, her arm and lung getting her placed in severe intensive care for at least a few months.

Clark’s darling is in a state of pure emotional distress along with her injuries, her head having been braced and stitched up after a surgeries to take care of her head damage and her… her miscarriage.

Clark is just as much in a state of distress as his darling over her injuries and the fact that he was supposed to protect her and their child and now one of them is dead and the other has injuries she will never fully recover from.

J’onn’s darling and Bruce’s darling are far more focused in looking after the others since they are far more healthy than the others. They visit them all in the medical wing, Bruce’s darling leaving flowers at their bedside, J’onn’s darling reading to them (I think she would be a librarian before all of this), and either of them sitting with Hal’s darling while she is in her current state along with Oliver’s darling who is in recovery.

All of them are in extremely pain emotionally and physically, they were kidnapped, told it was to keep them safe and for their own good, and now one of them is in a coma after she was paralyzed a number of months prior, another is missing an arm along with extremely brain trauma, one of them is missing an eye along with being now legally blind in the other, and one of them is now dealing with the loss of a child.

God when Hal’s darling wakes up she will be having a field day when she was right all along.

[bosbas]

Chapter 3: best believe I'm still bejeweled

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader WC: 3.7k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love being idiots in love

Summary: You and Benedict have been best friends since childhood, but things change dramatically once you come out in society. You're struggling to find someone you're as compatible with and who knows you as well as Benedict, all while trying to quell your ever-growing feelings for him. Shenanigans ensue.

May 19, 1814 - Today marks not only the birthday of our illustrious Queen Charlotte but also the grand event eagerly awaited by all of London's high society: the splendid Queen Charlotte's Ball.

The air is thick with excitement as the ton awaits the debut of our beautiful new bachelorettes for the season. Rest assured, dear readers, this author shall be your eyes and ears throughout the evening, ensuring you are privy to every scandal, dance, and whispered secret that unfolds at this momentous celebration.

The air was, as Lady Whistledown had said, thick with something, although you weren't quite sure it was excitement. Your stomach was tied in a complete tangle of knots, and said knots were doing cartwheels all over the dressing room you were currently in. Looking over at Cass and Eloise eating biscuits and giggling together on the other side of the room, you desperately wished you could stay with them rather than go to the ball.

Until this morning, you had been cautiously optimistic about the whole affair, excited about being courted despite your strong reservations about marriage, knowing it would most likely be a significant loss of your freedom. But at least in the beginning, when you didn't have to immediately think about the greater implications of courting, you could pretend that getting to know people and dancing and receiving flowers could be just fun. But now, with your mother and Lady Violet excitedly chattering around you as your lady's maids rushed to and fro, grabbing your makeup and jewelry, you were less than ecstatic.

Just as the claustrophobia was getting to be a bit much and you were quite ready to jump out of the window into the garden and take off running, Daphne entered the dressing room. Shooing the lady's maids away momentarily, Daphne offered a sympathetic look and sat beside you. You shot her a grateful smile, immediately letting out a breath, slumping your shoulders, and resting your chin on your gloved hand.

"Oh dear, I know that look very well," Daphne laughed. "It's not all bad, I promise."

Rubbing your temples, you confessed, "I know. I was excited until this morning. It's all rather overwhelming now that I'm actually experiencing it, though. What do you even talk about when you're dancing? What if no one wants to speak to me at all?"

Upon hearing the distress in your voice, Daphne quickly interjected. "Honestly, I was much more of a wreck than you were and I am frankly impressed by how well you're holding it together. My best advice would be to not think about it too much. It's harder to do in your position, I know, but you are so brilliant in every way, and everyone is dying to get to know you. It's a wonderful advantage to have. You get to be selective. So just be yourself the best way you know how and try to seek out the ones who make you feel the most comfortable."

You responded with a small laugh, "I guess it's a good thing Ben isn't here then; otherwise, I'd be spending the whole evening with him."

An indecipherable look took over Daphne's features. "It truly is beyond me why he would miss such an important day. Men being men, I suppose. But it's alright. You have the entire Bridgerton clan in his stead, not to mention your family. And speaking of Benedict, he did leave a note with me he wanted me to give you today." Daphne handed you a small rectangular envelope with your name in Benedict's scrawl across the front. Daphne reached over and put a reassuring hand on your shoulder, "you look absolutely stunning. You have nothing to worry about."

Giving her friend a final kiss on the cheek, Daphne stood up and joined the excited mothers on the other side of the room, allowing you a moment to carefully open the envelope in your hands.

Y/I (your initial), 

Hopefully, Daphne will manage to deliver this on time. I'm dreadfully sad I can't be there with you today, but I know you will impress absolutely everyone in attendance. Send Lady Danbury my regards. Or perhaps don't. Whichever makes it less likely I have to dance with her at the next ball I attend!

Yours, B

Smiling to yourself, you felt just a tad more prepared to face the queen in a short time, Ben's note filling you with confidence and Daphne's reassuring words soothing your anxieties.

---

An earlier conversation with Hyacinth had left you terrified of falling flat on your face tonight, so you were intently focused on completing each step as smoothly as possible. As the last debutante to be presented to the queen, your goal was to draw as little attention to yourself as possible, but you found the opposite. The room hushed as you entered, which you were worried about until you saw everyone's warm smiles and eager gazes. Newly filled with confidence, you gracefully completed your journey to the throne, where you curtseyed before Queen Charlotte.

Upon receiving the queen's enthusiastic approval, you heaved a sigh of relief. Now, you could enjoy the ball and take in all the new experiences of being out in society. The ballroom was a dazzling display of candlelight, silk gowns, and a polished dance floor as the orchestra played a lively tune. However, the moment of peace was quickly interrupted by many people rushing to talk to you at once. Gracefully moving from one conversation to another, you were enjoying the whirlwind of your debut. Invigorated by your earlier conversation with Daphne, you embraced the attention, excitedly introducing yourself and exchanging pleasantries as you attempted to move toward your mother a few yards away.

After talking to quite a few eligible bachelors and a not-insignificant amount of their mothers, you reached Countess Beaumont and the dowager Viscountess Bridgerton. "Oh, Y/N, your dance card seems to be full! Not even five minutes after you've been presented, no less! That's quite wonderful. I was worried I'd have to send Colin and Anthony to dance with you," your mother exclaimed, cheekily winking at you.

Violet laughed and shook her head. "They should be so lucky! All everyone is talking about is how beautiful you look, dear. Not news to us, obviously, but it's nice to see other people recognizing it."

Truthfully, you were over the moon. You loved to dance, after all, and looking out toward the ballroom, you could see all three of your brothers, your father, Anthony, Colin, and Daphne, scattered throughout. You felt oddly comfortable being in such a new environment, and perhaps Daphne was correct: you could be selective. You had even turned away a few gentlemen who asked you to dance before your card was full, opting to wait for the ones with kind smiles and kinder words.

Just then, Lord Marcus Thornfield approached you, having already been one of the people on your dance card, and you were once again taken aback by his piercing blue eyes. He bowed elegantly and offered a boyish smile and his gloved hand. "It's lovely to see you again, Miss Beaumont, still looking completely stunning. Would you do me the honor of sharing this dance with me?"

You could feel your face getting a tad hot, overwhelmed by the flattery, but at the same time soaking it in thoroughly. You curtsied slightly and placed your gloved hand in his. "Mr. Thornfield, I would be delighted," you replied.

Then, addressing the other two women in the trio, Lord Thornfield said, "If you don't mind, I'd love to borrow Lady Beaumont for a dance."

Thrilled about your first dance at a ball, your mother and Lady Bridgerton enthusiastically assented, clasping their hands together and waving at the pair of you as you approached the dance floor. Sporting a broad smile, you allowed Marcus to escort you away.

As you glided through the dance floor with Marcus, making soft and sometimes flirtatious conversation, you found that you much preferred him before speaking to him in depth. Although he was a complete gentleman, you often found his conversation topics tedious at best and boring at worst. Of course, it was unreasonable for you to expect in-depth and completely captivating conversations like the ones you had with Benedict, but you felt like the chat with Marcus could have at least been engaging. You could not recall a single question he had asked you throughout your interaction, opting instead to talk about himself and occasionally compliment your appearance that night. Surely, there was more to life than hearing a man drone on endlessly about his own life. Toward the end of the dance, you were glad to reach your mother once again, practically begging for an excuse to slip away from Marcus.

Your next dance was better but by a slim margin. The man, Earl Ashton, was nice enough, but you didn't quite feel a connection with him as strong as you would have liked. The following two dances and three conversations that did not involve dancing were mostly the same. The most common question you received, which often was the only one you were asked in the entire interaction, was the reasoning behind your delay in coming out. You took this opportunity to talk about literature, sometimes delving into your latest read. However, save for two or three of them, most of the bachelors you spoke with were not interested in further discussing your studies. After yet another boy refused to engage in real conversation, opting to talk about his upcoming hunting trip, you saw your mother raising her eyebrows at Violet and casting an inconspicuous disapproving look toward the man you were speaking with.

A tad frustrated by your experience, but not enough to dim the glow you were feeling, you decided to take respite at the refreshment table. You were sipping on lemonade and attempting to decipher what was missing from your previous interactions. Partially, you recognized that you were to blame for having set such high standards with Benedict. You knew meeting someone and getting to know them was not the same as speaking with your best friend since childhood, but it seemed instinctual to compare the two. Most of the men you talked to were leagues better than Marcus Thornfield, though, who, you noticed amusedly, was speaking with another debutante who looked positively disinterested.

You were brought out of your musings by the familiar voices of Colin and Anthony. "Well, hello, Miss Y/N Beaumont, diamond of the season and center of the ton's attention who is looking absolutely radiant tonight, according to possibly every single person I have spoken to tonight," called Anthony, reaching your side in a few strides.

Laughing into your cup, you smiled up at the boys. "Well, if it isn't the two most eligible bachelors here tonight, according to every eager mama. How has the ball been for you?"

Colin feigned offense, putting his hand to his chest, "For us? Who cares about us? How has the night been for you?!"

As soon as you opened your mouth to respond, Lord Reginald Harrington bounded over to your group and bowed. Very courteous, Lord Harrington asked you for a dance. Still, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, after seeing Harrington very pointedly staring at another debutante's bosom instead of her eyes while having a conversation), you did not have any space left on your dance card. Anthony barely had time to throw out a good-natured joke about the ton's demand for you before another young man approached the trio. Quite unfortunately, Mr Geoffrey Huntington was on your dance card, so you let yourself be guided to the dance floor. As you spun and twirled with Mr Huntington, you once again yearned for something more. You did not know what, exactly. But a pleasant conversation (he asked questions about you and even made you laugh a few times!) still did not completely satisfy you.

Off to the side, Colin and Anthony were intently observing the dance between you and Geoffrey. "She doesn't quite look like that when she's talking to Ben, though, does she?" Anthony observed.

"Well, clearly not, but I do rather think she's having an alright time of it with Geoff, nevertheless. I've heard he's one of the better ones, actually showing interest in the girls." Colin responded, recounting gossip he had heard through Cass and Pen, though heavens knew where the girls had gotten that information.

Anthony looked on thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. "I suppose that's alright, then. I'm still going to make fun of her when she returns," he grinned. "As much as I love poking fun at her, though, I wonder how Ben would feel about Y/N getting this much attention. I still can't believe he missed her debut. I can't believe Mother let him!"

"Oh, I can. I really can believe it. Surely you see it, too? The way he looks at her? I've no doubt he'd be fuming in the corner right about now. Seeing his best friend talk to someone else would send him spiraling," Colin responded, sending a pointed look his brother's way.

Before Anthony could respond, you had returned to them, looking slightly winded. "Well, that was quite the dance," you laughed.

Immediately upon seeing you free to talk, or at least free from anyone that wasn't your immediate family or the Bridgertons, another young man approached you at the refreshments table, handing you a glass of lemonade. Slightly annoyed but able to keep your composure, you gracefully took the glass. "Oh, Mr. Howard, you are too kind. Unfortunately, my dance card is full for tonight, but I would love the opportunity to dance with you at a later ball if that's a possibility."

Mr. Howard, for his part, was left with his mouth agape. "Oh. Yes. Yes, of course, Miss Beaumont. Thank you very much, and I look forward to speaking to you then," he responded, swiftly turning away in search of another young woman who had space left on her dance card, or at least the desire to speak to him at all, really.

Colin and Anthony could barely contain their laughter, leaving you slightly embarrassed by how forward you had been but happy to have some time without speaking to potential future husbands, nonetheless. At that moment, you would have taken Colin and Anthony's teasing ten times over talking to another man hoping to woo you.

---

In the early morning quietude of your room, you took up your quill and parchment, eager to recount the whirlwind of the previous night for Hyacinth. Of course, you could only accept when the young girl earnestly asked for a detailed recounting of every ball you attended, so you were putting in as much detail as you could remember, including but not limited to your mind-numbing dance with Marcus, as well as Bastian's comical near-fall when trying to escape a potential dance with Lady Danbury.

A knock on your door interrupted your writing, and you saw your father and Cass poke their heads in. "Good morning, darling. You've got a congregation of callers downstairs, quite the assembly. Shall I send them away?" your father inquired with a hint of exasperation. "I'd prefer not to entertain a throng of young men with no discernible connection to the Beaumont or Bridgerton names this early in the day."

You interjected swiftly, "No, Father. Just give me a few minutes, and I'll go downstairs to meet them."

With a nod, Earl Beaumont withdrew, muttering under his breath, while Cassandra, bubbling with excitement, seized your hands. "You have callers! A whole bunch of them! Y/n, this is so wonderful! Who do you expect to see downstairs?"

A tad flustered, you were scrambling to put away your half-written account of the night and making sure you had no ink stains on your hands. "Truthfully, I was not expecting this so early on. Oh, Cass, I'm dreadfully unprepared. I really didn't think I had that good of a connection with anyone last night, let alone as many people as Father said!"

Cass rolled her eyes and responded, "Obviously you didn't think you had a good connection with anyone. But if you were to forget that Ben existed for about three seconds, would that alter your perception?"

Groaning, you replied, "Cass, I don't need this from you today. Yes, maybe I compared these gentlemen to my best friend initially, but I promise I moved beyond that. Most men, like us, have ambitious mamas keen on securing advantageous matches, which might explain their early-morning presence."

"Well, perhaps. But you are in high demand either way," your sister declared, gently ushering you out of your room and toward the grand staircase. "Y/N Beaumont, if you do not hurry up and get downstairs, I swear I will start to talk to these gentlemen myself," Cass threatened, earning a laugh from you as you made your way to confront the eager line of callers awaiting your presence.

---

Amid the afternoon light filtering through the drawing room curtains, you found yourself the center of attention. The room was adorned with fresh flowers, their sweet fragrance lingering. Seated gracefully on a chaise, your vibrant eyes sparkled with curiosity and trepidation as you faced the seemingly endless line of suitors vying for your favor. You were enjoying seeing suitors more than you had enjoyed the previous night, even though you had loved dancing at the ball. Today's tête-à-têtes seemed to unfold more leisurely, offering you the luxury of time and a touch more intimacy, save for Lady Primrose and Cass' discreet presence. You discovered a certain joy in these extended conversations, different from the hurried introductions of the ball, giving you the tiniest glimmer of hope once again.

Currently, you were listening to Mr. Archibald Roxbury recite a poem he had written that had been, in his own words, inspired by your radiance at the ball, and he couldn't resist putting his sentiments into verse. The poem was sweet and not half bad, but you had been seeing suitors for several hours and were now quite exhausted.

Your brothers had been out for most of the day, but you could hear their loud voices echoing through the halls past the open door of the drawing room, questioning the queue of suitors inside their home. You almost breathed an audible sigh of relief when Alex stepped into the room, directing his attention toward you. "Y/N, a word?"

Offering a brief apology to Mr. Roxbury, you eagerly followed Alex's lead. Leaning down, Alex spoke lowly, "Quite popular this afternoon, aren't you?"

"I guess so. It's been hours! I can't believe there are people still here. I'm so tired, Alex; I need a cup of tea or something! I can't keep doing this right now," came your exasperated response.

"Y/N, these men are here for you, not the other way around. I can make them leave whenever you would like," he responded with a hand on your shoulder, surveying the amount of people in the Beaumont home.

You followed his gaze, remembering the vast number of people you would still have to speak with if you were to talk to every single young man in your home that day. "You're right. I suppose it would be nice to have a bit of a break from it all," you said, uncertain.

Wasting no time, Alex left the room, and you returned to your previous spot, where Archibald continued his recital. You wondered when your afternoon would be over. Thankfully, you did not have to wait long. A few minutes later, all three of your brothers and your father entered the drawing room. Clearing his throat, Earl Beaumont addressed the crowd of young men in their home, "Thank you all very much for coming today, but Miss Beaumont will no longer be seeing any suitors today. You are welcome to come back another time."

Amidst the disappointed faces of your suitors, you saw Theo wink at you. You played your part, gracefully feigning disappointment, thanking the remaining suitors for their gifts, and bidding them adieu. Truthfully, you just wanted to leave the drawing room and have a few moments to yourself, but etiquette called for you to wait until all the guests had left your home.

You skipped over to your father once the last suit-clad man had exited. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I thought it would never end," you said gratefully. The earl chuckled at your theatrics but agreed, "I had been waiting the whole day to send them away. Far too many people in my house!"

Ever the comedian, Theo suggested, "Perhaps try being a tad more unpleasant next time, Y/N." Chiming in, Bastian added, "Or maybe don't put as much effort into your appearance at the next ball; that way, we won't have to deal with this again."

"Great suggestions, as ever, boys," you responded sarcastically. "Now, if I may be excused, I need to not see anyone for the next three years."

---

A candle lit your room softly as you leaned against your door, relishing the memories of the lively afternoon. Your fingers traced the edges of the letters, flowers, and tokens scattered across your dressing table—a testament to the whirlwind of introductions and pleasant conversations you had the first day after your debut.

Yet, a shadow flickered in your eyes as you settled into a more contemplative mood. A silent ache enveloped you as you remembered Benedict, whose absence cast a subtle but palpable pall over the festivities. Amid all the excitement, you found yourself yearning for the comfort of his presence, the familiar cadence of his voice, and the reassuring touch of his hand. You were lost between the allure of newfound admirers and the unspoken yearning for someone who already knew you like the back of his hand.

Confusion crept in as you internalized your feelings. Even if Ben had not gone to the countryside at the same time as you were due to make your debut, he wouldn't have been present when you saw suitors, only the night before at the ball. So why did you miss him when he wouldn't have been there logistically? Lost in contemplation, you gazed out the window, the night sky adorned with stars that had no answer to your question.

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[tellmegoodbye]

Hello friends! I have been planning on doing one of these in-depth rec lists for a while, and I figured that since this is our first week off from season 5 it would be a good time to finally post this!

This list includes some of my favorite fics that I read over the past several months, so some of these are going to be older, and others will be much more recent. I'm hoping you guys can use this to discover some new fics and writers, especially if you're just getting back to the fandom after the long hiatus we had.

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Oneshots

In Watercolour - @bonheur-cafe

I'm not someone who ventures outside of Tarlos very often, but this fic was absolutely beautiful and I had to include it in this list. The journey of Marjan slowly realizing her feelings for Nancy was incredibly well written and something I could really relate to when I looked back on my own experiences of liking a girl for the first time.

I recommend this even if you're like me and not someone who typically reads NancyMarjan fic. Overall a very wholesome fic and a wonderful insight into what Marjan having a queer realization at this point in her life might look like.

Made From Stardust - @paperstorm

I absolutely adore 2nd person pov fics and this one was no exception! Andie's writing is always breathtaking and to be able to read all of these pivotal moments in TK and Carlos' relationship from such a unique and creative perspective was really interesting!

I recommend this fic if you like reading canon fics but you're looking for something a little different. This was a really refreshing read and definitely something I'll find myself coming back to.

All Turns To Silver Glass - @thevenstar

Another absolutely gorgeous 2nd person pov fic! The writing in this one is so beautiful and it really stuck with me so much that I found myself coming back to it recently.

I recommend this if you're looking for something unique! I don't think I've read anything quite like this in this fandom and this author really has a way with words so that so much emotion and introspection is packed into this 4k fic.

Recreate The Sun - @reyesstrand

This is a very beautiful AND hot first meeting fic! It really captured the way Carlos immediately fell for TK, as well as the excitement of kissing and touching him for the first time, and overall it was incredibly immersive.

Recommend if you love spicy first-time Tarlos fics!

Monday - @butchreyes

This fic was very emotionally heavy and action packed! It's a beautiful insight into Carlos' character that balances both the past and the present to tell the story, and it honestly felt like I was watching an episode of Lone Star if Lone Star decided to dedicate a whole episode to Carlos.

I really recommend this if you enjoy reading fics where the stakes are as high as ever for Tarlos, and if you love Carlos as a character and want to read more fics centered around him.

Your Back Beneath The Sun, Wishing I Could Write My Name On It - @emsprovisions

Tarlos on vacation my beloveds! This fic was such a fun read and there were so many beautiful moments that made me stop and close my eyes because I could really picture myself in that moment with the characters. Emily does such a good job at appreciating the smallest moments and highlighting their beauty, and her writing is incredibly immersive!

I recommend reading this if you enjoy TK and Carlos going on adventures as husbands and are a Tarlos gets a dog truther. Lizzie was the true star of this show!

Let Him Speak! - @goodways

This fic really showcases the thing I love the most about Shannon's writing. It's fun, and at times, incredibly hilarious! I also loved how this fic handled Carlos and TK bringing up the topic of kids again.

I recommend this if you want some Lou II shenanigans from the queen of hijinks and shenanigans herself! As well as some beautifully emotional moments that will make you smile like an idiot.

This Belongs To You - @chicgeekgirl89

This post-breakup fic had me in my feels! It shows how Tarlos are dealing with the newness of being back together, struggling with being apart for the first time since then, and recovering from TK almost dying.

Read this is you're craving some beautiful emotional hurt/comfort. Carlos is so sweet here, and this fic has some wonderful 126 family vibes too!

Chaptered Fics (ongoing)

Not Strong Enough - @honeybee-taskforce

This AU is in its early stages but I am in love with this universe and the individual superpowers TK and Carlos were given, and I can definitely say that I was hooked from the very first chapter!

I recommend this fic if you're looking for a type of AU that hasn't been explored much in this fandom yet and want to see creative worldbuilding, as well as new and interesting versions of TK and Carlos' characters. I'm excited to see how they continue to navigate this world!

Something To Give Each Other - @alrightbuckaroo

This wip contains some of my favorite smut scenes I have ever read. I love how the love and trust between TK and Carlos is written here and I love how so many different types of intimacy are being explored.

I reccomend this if you love smut obviously, but even more importantly I recommend it even if it's not something you'd typically seek out. It's very hot and unapologetic, but it's also beautiful and tender and really highlights how much TK and Carlos truly love each other. There's also no overarching story here so all of these chapters can be read as oneshots if you're someone who doesn't read wips.

Live To Tell - @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

If you know me, then you know I'm a sucker for angst, but another thing I absolutely love is horror! Jamie has really mastered that aspect of this fic and when I'm reading this I really feel like I'm in TK's shoes and feeling his fear right alongside him. There's still so much mystery to unveil about who this antagonist is and I can't wait to see how this story unfolds!

If you're not too squeamish about whump or horror then I definitely reccoment giving this fic a read! I love when authors aren't afraid to drag out the scairest and most painful moments, because to me that makes the reading experience so much more immersive and satisfying.

When Fate Cries - @theghostofashton

We all had a great time watching the Olympics this summer, right? If you're in the same boat as me and experiencing withdrawals from that excitement then you should absolutely check out this AU!

I love how this fic navigates the world of gymnastics shows how a traumatic injury can affect an athlete's mental health, as well as the overall pressure TK and Carlos feel performing at such a high level with such a large audience. It is really interesting to see how all of this affects them as individuals, as well as how their relationship has developed overtime.

Even In The Dark - @ironheartwriter

This is definitely one of my favorite AUs I've read for Tarlos so far! Lana has really put so much creativity into this fic and the worldbuilding is incredible! I also love how TK and Carlos are such different characters as opposed to canon and I really love how much their individual powers suit them.

I recommend this fic if you like reading fantasy, mystery, and an unfolding adventure that slowly makes you fall in love with both characters even if they are at odds with each other.

Chaptered Fics (completed)

So Much For Summer Love - @strandnreyes

I cannot reccomend this fic enough! Jen has written so many incredible AUs but this was one of my favorites. It just gave me so much nostalgia and was generaly such a feel good fic about TK and Carlos finding each other and falling in love.

I recommend this fic if you love the beach, Tarlos being idiots and love, and found family vibes!

Call Me (By My Name) - @welcometololaland & @rmd-writes

This fic was so much fun to read! Not only did it have a lot of amazing smut, but we also get to see a different take on how TK and Carlos meet in canon through both of their perspectives! The alternating pov was utilized really well here, and I remember feeling so much excitement and anticipation while waiting for each update!

I recommend this fic if you want to watch our favorite idiots unknowingly having phone sex with each other and slowly fall in love. There were so many hilarious moments where they were completely oblivious, and there were so many beautiful and emotional moments in this fic as well.

Love Can Pull You Out Of Yesterday - @alrightbuckaroo

This fic is so creative in the way that it incorporates the twist of a time loop into the already emotion-pakced storyline that is the breakup/ice storm arc. I think it adds a really unique element that also elevates the tragedy surrounding everything that happens. It's also very thoughtful in the way it tells this story from Carlos' pov, and the way it all unfolds is ultimately very satisfying!

I recommend this fic if you're a fan of the time loop genre, or if you want some delicious push angst!

Dance Me To The End Of Love - @bonheur-cafe

This fic is so beautiful! It will take you on an overwhelmingly emotional journey through different stages of TK and Carlos' relationship, all through the lens of dancing! This theme is perfectly incorporated and I love how it holds so much importance in this relationship.

I highly recommend this fic for something that is both conceptually simplistic, yet rich in gorgeously written scenes that had me crying and smiling like and idiot.

Series

Let Me - @heartstringsduet

This is the ultimate dom/sub fic! Michelle really does a wonderful job of exploring this dynamic and how exactly TK and Carlos would navigate all of these new feelings. This series also does a great job at showing the development of trust in their relationship and highlighting just how mental health and sex intertwine.

I recommend this if you want to see a really insightful look into TK and Carlos as individuals and as a couple, absolutely gorgeously written sex, and some wonderful and realistic development when it comes to communication.

Tu Corazón Es Mío - @lemonlyman-dotcom

This series is such a cool idea and I've been loving it so far! I think it's awesome how each installment is based on a different song, and the way this series takes you through different phases of TK and Carlos' relationship makes for a fun mix of emotions!

I recommend this if you enjoy songfic mixed in with some beautiful in-between canon moments!

Wherever You Stray, I Follow - @strandnreyes

Did somebody say vampires?? I have to say that this type of AU never used to be something I would seek out, but I absolutely love the way this story unfolds and you can immediately tell just how much care and effort Jen put into building this world for TK and Carlos. There were moments where I cried, moments where I couldn't breathe, and moments where I felt every other emotion you could possibly imagine. Every fic in this series is a gem, and I am loving the latest installment so far!

I recommend this if you love vampire AUs, obviously, but also if you love stories that have higher stakes, and stories that leave you guessing and get you on the edge of your seat. If you have an appreciation for gorgeous scene settings and a story that becomes more expansive and intricately detailed as it goes, then you're going to love this fic.

Missing Moments - @paperstorm

The ultimate filler fic series! Andie does such a good job at breaking down even some of the smallest Tarlos moments from the show and really slowing everything down to give us some beautiful insight into the things we didn't get to see.

This series is completed up to season 3, and I highly recommend reading it if you haven't already!

Season Five Codas

There are many writers who have gifted us with some beautiful season five fics. Here are a few of my favorites + some series that you can check out!

@morganaspendragonss [x] @heartstringsduet [x]

@theghostofashton [x] @bonheur-cafe [x]

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He's The Air I Would Kill To Breathe - @morganaspendragonss

If I had to pick one fic from the above-mentioned series to recommend, it would be this one! The angst was particularly powerful, and it's very memorable for me because I had to take a minute to stop crying before I could finish reading. This episode definitely tugged on our heartstrings, and then this coda amplified all of those emotions in such a beautiful way.

Deeper Than Breath, Closer Than Air - @carlos-in-glasses

This coda takes you through a whirlwind of emotions. There are a lot of conflicting things at play here, and this fic beautifully tied it all together and touched on everything TK and Carlos are dealing with. They laughed. They cried. They had sex. They did it all and this fic will make you feel ALL of it.

Brighter In The Morning - @strandnreyes & @paperstorm

Even though this is technically a chaptered fic, it is a collection of season five codas so I wanted to include it here. I absolutely adore this concept, and the fact that it's cowritten just makes it even cooler! These season five codas are hot, angsty, emotional, and beautiful extensions of each episode.

Breaking Like A Wave - @reyesstrand

This coda was absolutely beautiful in the way it broke down all of the emotions surrounding episode five. I loved the way the sex is written to be both tender and desperate, and overall it really shows just how much love there is when TK and Carlos come back together after all of that tension.

[wheneverfeasible]

🧠 🪱 WIGGLY WEDNESDAY 🪱 🧠

Thanks for the tag @stervrucht ! Ended up writing this on my lunch and hiding in the back at work lmaoooo

Because today I’m thinking about…children’s entertainer Eddie Munson and single parent Steve Harrington…

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This is definitely a modern au. Eddie did the whole band thing in high school, and they still get together and play in bars and occasionally at events and things, but now Eddie’s music is…different.

Like…think Johnny Karate different.

Except he’s still Eddie. He still dresses in darker clothing, still keeps the metal influence in his music, it’s just all kid appropriate nowadays. He sings songs that are inspired by DnD and fantasy novels he loved growing up, like The Hobbit and The Last Unicorn. He even has a couple children’s books out based on his songs and stories. (His buddy Jeff illustrates them.)

Now, Eddie’s biggest fan happens to be Dustin Henderson, the young friend of single parent Steve Harrington. Dustin is actually a fan of Corroded Coffin as well, which is how he learned of Eddie’s children entertainment persona, The Freak (so named to show kids it’s good to be different), who sometimes dresses up like a court jester, especially when working a kid’s birthday party, crowning the kid as king or queen or anything else their little heart desires.

Steve has two little kids, twins, a boy and a girl. Their fifth birthday is coming up and Dustin convinces Steve to hire Eddie. After much heeing and hawing, Steve finally agrees, if only because Dustin gets the kids to whine about it too, and Steve honestly can’t say no to any of kids, even the ones that are only fiveish years younger than him.

Eddie comes, dressed in his understated jester costume, and the kids absolutely adore him. He all but beams when the boy staunchly proclaims he wants to be a princess, not a prince, and the little girl decides she wants to be a goblin. But a good one. Eddie grins and tells her to watch out for enchanted crystals.

The kids then decide that if the boy is a princess, then that makes their dad the king, and Eddie grins even wider and flourishes an adult size crown for just this sort of occasion. After a lot of complaining about his hair, Steve finally agrees to wear the crown, feeling oddly flushed when Eddie gets close enough to set it on top his head.

“Don’t worry, darling, I won’t mess your hair up too badly. Not until you ask me too,” he whispers just for Steve to hear and winks, even as he quickly jumps away because rule number one is never flirt with a parent when he’s on a job. Something about the single dad is just a little too much for Eddie’s self-restraint, however. Both are blushing.

The rest of the party goes on well, he even gets most of the adults to join in on the ridiculous and repetitive titles, and maybe he showboats a little with his guitar riffs, but Steve’s eyes have barely left him the entire time, and only then when he needed to keep his eyes on the kids.

Eddie is paid and leaves, like he’s supposed to, though not without giving out his business card to some of the other attending parents who want to hire him as well for their own kids’ birthday parties. All in all, a successful night. He gives one last glance at Steve and then he’s gone.

…

Time passes, yeah? Steve can’t stop thinking about Eddie. Eddie can’t stop thinking about Steve. They both think that’s the end of it.

And then Dustin, matchmaker extraordinaire who clocked that shit immediately because Steve hasn’t looked at anyone since the kids, convinces Steve to go to a bar with him where a live band is playing.

The band?

Why, what else but Corroded Coffin.

And the lead guitarist? Well he just happens to look beautifully familiar.

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rip fartbuckle

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Hostage tag: @derythcorvinus

No pressure tags: @scoops-aboy86 @endlessmusings1801 @steddieassheg0es @steddiecameraroll @fkinkindagauche (if you’ve already been tagged and posted before, let me know so I can read your stuff!)

[llovekami]

is it really you? / eren j.

synopsis: eren jaeger was the best and worst part of your life. your first love, first heartbreak; but what if when you move on, he comes right back and worse than ever?

content warnings: angst(?), smut, porn with plot, p in v, unprotected sex, hair pulling (on eren), biting, reader is gender neutral but afab and femininely dressed, toxic eren, implied cheating, pet names angel, sweets, pretty, possessive eren

a/n: never wrote for eren before. i love toxic men even though i'd probably kms if i fell for a toxic man irl.

eren jaeger was your worst nightmare. your first love on college campus, freshmen year. honestly, the red flags were there - he started flirting the first night you met despite him having his hand on your best friends hip not even a few moments ago before she shoo'd him off in your direction. even worse, it was a halloween party—it was bound to fail from the start. the flimsy material of the black dress you wore and the fake tail clipped to the back of it to make more of a dressy cat woman outfit. the little cat ears you wore reflected the flashing strobe lights of the room, the glitter etched into the black fake fur shining brightly.

he was eager, a real flirt—he had you fooled. if only you had discovered months prior of his scandals with other women, you would've brushed him off the same way your friend did. but when you ended up on your back that night, arched with sweat pooling down your body and the high of pure ecstasy rushing through your veins, you were hooked.

for the next 6 months, you were treated like the campus queen. "eren's never settled down so fast.." "what'd you do to him?" "what spell did you bewitch him with?"

numerous of your friends had warned you of what would happen. your heart would get broken and you'd ugly cry for days, just like you were known to do even over the slightest inconvenience or frustration from you, but you clung hope. eager to make it work, you gave it your all, yet to eren... your all hadn't been enough.

the countless night you had spent on your back or on your stomach with your head pushed into the pillow, in front of your mirror, spending hundreds on fancy lingerie for him to tear off and promise to buy more had all meant nothing. it wasn't that you were shocked when you found him in a room with another woman he told you not to worry about.

her grin haunts your nightmares, and the glint in his intoxicated eyes still made you sweat in your sleep—you moved to learn on, in peace, but it took you until your sophomore year to begin dating once more. it was a sweet, polite boy, someone who'd surely treat you right.

but somehow, eren lured you right back in with a couple of apologies and wet eyes. he always looked prettiest with those long wet lashes of his batting away tears, not that you'd ever mad him cry—but seeing him sniffle over your own crying still made your heart warm.

he pulled you away from the crowd, hiding in a private room and sitting you down on the bed. he said it was to "talk", to put the past behind you. if that was the case, why was his hand dragging up your thigh?

"eren, no touching—" you gasped quietly once he traced over that one barely ticklish spot on your inner upper thigh, watching the way his dimples formed once he smiled. "i still know your body like the back of my hand, angel. i always will." he whispered, letting his lips run along the soft of your neck. your date, the man you were planning on going right back to, waited for you patiently downstairs while your ex kissed on your skin.

"eren," you muttered desperately, brows furrowing as you pushed back slightly on his shoulders. you squirmed in his hold, the old feelings that you had so desperately pushed down resurfacing quickly. your fingers grasped a hold of his long dark brown hair, the same hair that you had tugged on so desperately months ago while he made home in between your thighs. he giggled against your skin, green eyes leaning in on you.

"too much, sweets? cant handle it? are you really satisfied with the fucker that brought you in here?" eren whispered, the words trailing into your ear and igniting a deep fire within you, "he knows you're still mine, angel. you don't blush the way you used to with me." he muttered, snaking the dress you wore upwards and around your waist, noting the way your panties clung to your body. his pinkie teased the lace of it, grinning just a bit.

he sunk to his knees slowly, spreading your thighs apart just slightly. a hunger took over the both of you, your entire body melting into his touch. parting your lips, you were so tempted to beg, eager to whimper his name and scream it to the top of your lungs without him even ghosting his fingers along your core. his teeth dug into the fat of your thighs, looking up to you as he sucked harshly against your skin.

barely a moment had passed before your clothes were eagerly tugged off and he pushed you on your back, taking in the dips and curves that he had foolishly taken for granted. he breathed in your scent and kissed the crook of your neck once more. after he had prepped and entered the same wet cavern that gripped him like a vice, it took his all not to cum right there and then—no words in the english lexicon could explain how desperately he missed this, more so, missed you.

"pussy s'perfect, dunno how i coulda' thrown this away, fuck," he muttered under his breath. the praise had your toes curling, the angle of which he had you in with your hips slightly upward and your ankles locked around his back, had you seeing the stars you never thought you'd see again. the overwhelming feeling of guilt chewed at you, tears prickling your eyes as you watched him enter and leave you with his thrusts.

it was easy to tell when eren was holding back, and now was that exact time. the usual rough pace that you grew accustomed to within the 6 months of dating was now replaced with something much lighter. it had you think, even just for a moment, if this was really eren. the gentleness in which he cradled you, his thumbs rubbing circles into your thighs as he marked you up from the crook of your neck to the valley of your breasts.

you dont know how many times you sobbed his name, nails digging into his back while sweat covered your bare bodies. "you're s'pretty, don't know why i didn't see that with you, ma," he muttered with a moan, "like that? yeah, felt you get a lil' tighter. fuck, keep clenchin' me like that an' i wont be able ta pull out." he groaned against your skin, and you sobbed, "missed you, 'ren, missed you s'much!" you called out desperately without a care in the world. the bass from the music outside still thumped against your heart, so being loud wasn't an issue.

he shuttered at the sound of your begging, and the gentle thrusts that he had started with growing more erratic. you moaned, the spongy spot inside you that he never had any trouble reaching now being abused. his thumb that had previously rested on your thigh now drew attention to your clit, dragging tight circles around it rapidly as if to bring you impossibly closer to the edge.

"eren," you cried, convulsing as your eyes rolled into the back of your head, "gonna cum, m'gon cum, 'ren!" you warned, waterline wet from tears that had shifted from guilt to those of pure overwhelming pleasure. "cum with me, pretty, you wan' cum? cum with me." eren pleaded with you, those jade eyes of his watching the way he disappeared into your hole.

with his encouragement, you reached and came to your peak. you twitched and arched your back higher and higher until you were struggling to breath, feeling the way eren stilled and helped you ride out your high while his own pent-up cum desperately spilled inside you, filing you to the brim as he moaned.

calming down, he grinned at you. "i'm so sorry i left you, angel," he cooed. he brushed your hair back, kissing your forehead while you stared up at him with the prettiest fucked-out expression he never got tired of. "missed this pretty pussy, missed that pretty little face of yours." he hummed, pulling out slowly with a shlick sound coming as he did. he pulled up his pants and ran out, fetching a wash cloth as he returned.

"promise i'll do better if you just give me a chance and drop that fucker you're talking to," he muttered, kissing the hickeys that lined your neck as you nodded drowsily, "you were always mine, pretty. you never stopped being mine."

divider by cafekitsune

[thesunfyre4446]

84 years ago i've promised an alicent and rhaenyra post, and i've finally got around into making it.

so book!rhaenyra and alicent is not that complicated. alicent was fine with rhaenyra when she thought that viserys will name their firstborn son heir, and when that wasn't the case they started beefing & despised each other.

the show's decision of making them former friends is actually a good choice. it adds depth and tragedy into their relationship & makes the entire conflict more personal. instead of the stepmother x stepdaughter dynamic we get 2 childhood friends, destined to become enemies.

young!rhaenyra and alicent arc was actually really good. alicent got married to viserys and tried to mend her relationship with an angry rhaenyra. and just when things were getting better the realization that things can never go back to the way they were & they were destined to become enemies = alicent becoming the green queen & the rivalry truly begins.

and that's where... thing got... messy

because in ep 6 we see alicent and rhaenyra fighting. they seem to hate each other & constantly trying to undermine each other. then we get to ep 7 & driftmark, and we all expected that from that moment on we will get book!alicent and rhaenyra rivalry and hatred. but no? all of the sudden, one dinner and they're friends again?

i'm sorry... what?

and then alicent refuses to hurt rhaenyra and her family, rhaenyra's crying over a piece of paper (i was with daemon going "the fuck is this") rhaenyra shocked over alicent's betrayal & both women do not want to hurt each other.

so, you're telling me that after driftmark - after rhaenyra wanted to have alicent's maimed son tortured & tried to get alicent accused of high treason and after alicent demanded luke's eye these women feel anything but hatred towards each other?

you're telling me that alicent - who has spent the entire show believing that her children's lives will be in danger if rhaenyra became queen suddenly goes "you'll make a good queen" (again, i was with otto giving her the side-eye because GURL) one dinner is apparently all it takes to fix 20 years of rivalry and hatred?

and that's the problem. the show doesn't seem to be able to tell the difference between "friendship" and "relationship". rhaenyra and alicent's relationship can still be the center of the show even if they are enemies. even if they're no longer friends. look at magnificent century, hurrem and mahidevran's rivalry is the center of the show & it's very clear that these two women were forced into becoming enemies and that the real villain is the sultan.

hotd wants to force the "friendship" narrative on the show, but they still have to stick to certain book canon events, so it comes off very forced and unnatural. they're unwilling to let these 2 women become enemies, so they take their agency and give it to otto and daemon. otto and daemon are the ones who want war, rhaenyra and alicent just want to go back into being friends :( look at this page from ep 1 that you've prob forgotten all about!

they literally have to sacrifice their agency. because alicent being the leader of the green council & rhaenyra being the one wanting to go to war against the people who took away the crown she was promised doesn't fit the "friendship" narrative. so let's make alicent unaware of everything & rhaenyra doesn't even want to go to war :( it's all daemon and otto and the eViL mEn. it's honestly such a disservice to their characters. they're stripped of their ambition and agency for the sake of forcing their "friendship".

and the thing that truly made me lose hope is ryan saying that "there's still hope".

my dude.

from the first moment we see the girl. from that first scene where they're sitting under the tree - there was no hope. there was never hope. they're doomed.

[snailmail444]

After reading the Masturbationen headcanons for the Bachelors… Can we get masturbation headcanons for the bachelorettes? 🫶🏻

Bachelorette Masturbation Headcannons

18+ 🌱 NSFW 🌱 MDNI

This took soooo long. So so long. But it’s HERE! I’ll probably be double posting today since the poll said post as I finish and I actually have two asks done hehe. Hope y’all are ready for a double feature! NSFW under the cut!

Penny-

🧡 It’s all or nothing for penny. Either her mom is out and she’s got all the time in the world, or her mom is home and she can’t hide a damn thing.

🧡 Luckily Pam has a solid routine every night, so Penny has been able to find time for herself when the mood strikes.

🧡 It’s not a usual occurrence for Penny. She’s got a lot of deep-seated repression that makes it tough for her to follow through on any sexual urges. She’s still undoing the small-town-youth dynamic that it’s dirty and shameful for women to pleasure themselves.

🧡 Sometimes though she’ll be reading fanfic (because let’s be so real you know she does), and she can’t ignore the ache in her center anymore.

🧡 Bites down on her lip and edges her bottoms off anxiously, still a little worried someone might jump out of the shadows and damn her in the name of Yoba for sinning.

🧡 Settles in pretty fast though, and lets herself get lost in the story. Pretends she’s the character being ravaged, typically in a highly romantic setting.

🧡 Penny seems like a total pillow humper to me. Gets all flushed and red and tries to muffle her moans as she grinds against the fabric.

🧡 Really sensitive so she doesn’t need much more than that. Maybe a free hand to play with her breast, but honestly not even that.

🧡 One and Done. The guilt sets in and she feels embarrassed all over once she finishes, so she throws everything in to wash and showers off the evidence ASAP.

Maru-

💜 Doesn’t have a ton of personal space/boundaries during the day. She has to wait until nighttime to even think of letting off some steam (thanks, Demetrius)

💜 Once she’s certain her parents are asleep—thank god Sebastian doesn’t ever leave his room, the night owl—Maru climbs down into the privacy of her workshop and allows herself to unwind.

💜 Maru is a woman in STEM. A gadget queen, if You will.

💜 She only has a couple of toys, but they’re high-end splurges. Quality over quantity.

💜 Could make her own if she really wanted to, but she’s got more robotics projects on her plate than she can finish. The last thing she wants is to have to wait to finish making her sex toy before having fun with it.

💜 Her favorite is just a plain blue toy that looks unassuming, but it feels like it’s thrusting inside her, and she can just lay back and enjoy it.

💜 Girls arms and wrists are tired after a day of engineering, so it’s a lifesaver to not have to do that work herself. All she wants is to feel fucked full and nothing else.

💜 Maru’s mind is always going, which is good and bad when she’s trying to get off. On the one hand, it makes for some vivid fantasies. On the other, sometimes she doesn’t want to have to think at all.

💜 Her fantasies are often of whirlwind, desperate romances. Stolen away in the nearest closet, shoved up against a tree, spread out on top of her workbench. She dreams of reckless, passionate, I need you this minute sex. It gets her so wet she’s soaking.

💜 On the days when she wants her brain to go quiet, she’ll make sure to keep going until she’s cum three or four times. Until her ears are ringing and her body is completely exhausted. Kind of a stamina queen, to be honest.

💜 She sleeps like a baby on those nights.

Emily-

💙 Lowkey I think Emily would be a licensed sex therapist.

💙 She’s very well educated in the importance of sexual health. For her it’s a spiritual practice of keeping herself balanced.

💙 Haley’s home like all the time which sucks, but she gets an okay amount of privacy regardless because their rooms are on opposite sides of the house.

💙 Lights incense that has properties good for sexual energy or something I dunno.

💙 Has a (body safe!) crystal wand that she fucks herself with.

💙 Loves how cool it feels at first and the fact that it warms to match her body temperature.

💙 Little miss active imagination doesn’t need porn or anything, she just gets right the hell off on her fantasies.

💙 As for what she fantasizes about? Girl goes wild thinking about having three or four partners. Ideally it’s three or four people all focused on pleasing her, every sensation hands and mouths and skin on skin—she gets really hot thinking about it.

💙 Her nipples are really sensitive so she makes sure to stimulate them a lot, pretending she has someone to focus on each one individually.

💙 Enjoys being present with her body and engages her senses. Really wants to sit with all the sensations and draw them out.

💙 Doesn’t cum every time, but that’s not the point for her. Unless she’s specifically trying to cum, it’s an added bonus. Something nice, but not necessary. It’s all about the journey for Emily.

Leah-

💚 Leah has it MADE in terms of getting off.

💚 Queen of living alone in the woods.

💚 Full privacy. Loud noise never carries from the solid insulation and the dampening of the trees. She can’t full out scream without being heard, but almost.

💚 Has a collection of dildos she’s made herself out of scrap wood. She started making them as a joke, but then she was like actually…this could be great for me.

💚 Don’t worry, she’s taken great care in making sure they’re body safe. Made with love and all that.

💚 Her favorites are the ones that she’s left knots on. A smooth fuck is nice, but she loves the added sensation from the bumps.

💚 Her internet isn’t great, but she’s lucky to have a collection of artsy porn films. Again, something that started as more of a fascination, but to be honest it’s super hot.

💚 One in particular is her favorite, with a long shot of eating pussy. It’s supposed to be a love story, the way it’s framed, but more than anything it’s just hot. Reminds her of some of the best oral she’s ever gotten.

💚 Takes her a long time to get off, but she’s learned not to rush it. She’ll finish when she finishes, and it’s always worth it.

💚 Needs a nice, long, relaxing shower afterwards, and unwinds with a cup of herbal tea.

Haley-

🩷 Emily is gone a lot working at the bar until late, so she doesn’t have to worry about finding time.

🩷 Definitely has a collection of toys for whatever mood she’s in.

🩷 Quality AND Quantity babe Haley will not deny herself pleasure.

🩷 Absolutely will treat herself too. A nice glass of wine and some mood lighting. Big fan of setting the vibe (pun intended).

🩷 Soft BDSM girlie. Adores any porn where the sub ends up a whiny desperate mess

🩷 It’s an ego trip. She absolutely wants to think that whoever she’s with would be reduced to absolute pathetic begging for her.

🩷 She finishes faster than she would like sometimes, so she’s mastered the art of edging.

🩷 She’s not gonna put all that effort in for nothing. If she’s set taking her time to enjoy herself she’s going to be TAKING her TIME.

🩷 Finds it really hot to be able to watch herself so sometimes she’ll set up in front of her floor-length mirror. Not as good as it is with a partner, but it’s got a similar draw.

🩷 Really quiet when she cums, her cheeks flushed and a gasp stuck in her chest while her body seizes with pleasure.

🩷 Might go a couple more times depending on how hot and bothered she is.

Abigail-

🖤 Abby has the least privacy out of the bachelorettes.

🖤 Her situation isn’t horrible (read: better than Sam’s), but she’s always got low-grade anxiety that she’s going to be caught and absolutely mortified.

🖤 Never home alone either, but Stardew girls make do. Waits up until midnight or later and makes sure to be radio silent just in case her dad is roaming around.

🖤 Once she gets into it though…she gets into it.

🖤 Little miss visual aid over here be Watching porn. She almost can’t get off without it. She CAN but she doesn’t want to. Which is so real of her.

🖤 LOVES videos of people getting themselves off. Solo masturbation videos are so hot to her because it feels like a steamy mutual session when she touches herself.

🖤 Totally ends up imagining past experiences or current crushes taking up the same as the person in the video. Pleasuring themselves while she watches and watching her get off too…she’s practically gone.

🖤 Sometimes she likes to watch really hardcore, desperate railing if she’s feeling particularly needy or submissive. Every now and again she just wants to be told she’s hot, get spanked, and fucked within an inch of her life. Girl me too the fuck—

🖤 Gets off pretty fast and once just because of the anxiety thing. If she had more peace of mind it would be a marathon for her because with the adventure training she’s got stamina for days.

🖤 Still sleeps way better after and ends up having some very, very pleasant dreams with all of that imagination fuel.

[watchnrant]

A Discovery of Witches Season 2: A Darker, Richer Narrative

If you thought A Discovery of Witches was just another fantasy romp with a bit of historical flair, buckle up for Season 2—this ride gets delightfully more treacherous. Based on Deborah Harkness’s All Souls Trilogy, the show kicked off with a seductive blend of magic, academia, and some good old-fashioned supernatural skullduggery. But with its sophomore season, it doesn’t just dip its toes into darkness—it dives headfirst into the murky waters of power struggles, betrayal, and Elizabethan angst. The result? A more prosperous, textured narrative that wraps around you like a cloak on a chilly London night, refusing to let go.

Power and Betrayal: The Core of Season 2

This season isn’t content with picking up where the first left off—it’s a full-blown transformation. Power dynamics take center stage; with stakes so high, you’ll need a ladder to catch your breath. In a world where every glance, whisper, and seemingly innocuous gesture could be a precursor to betrayal, the relentless pursuit of control gives the season its teeth. Whether safeguarding ancient secrets or simply trying to survive another day, the characters are pushed to their limits, leaving you glued to the screen, wondering who will crack under the pressure first.

From Modernity to Mystery: The Haunting Atmosphere of Elizabethan London

Say goodbye to the sleek, modern settings of Season 1—this time, we’re strolling through the gritty, shadow-laden streets of Elizabethan London. The production design team has outdone themselves, crafting an environment where every alleyway feels like it’s hiding something sinister. With dim lighting and claustrophobic sets, the atmosphere is laced with palpable tension. It’s a visual feast that perfectly complements the season’s darker tone, making you feel like danger lurks around every corner—and honestly, it probably does.

A Walk Through Time: The Immersive Historical Detail

For the history buffs out there, Season 2 is a love letter to the past, filled with all the pomp and peril you’d expect from the era. The Elizabethan setting isn’t just a backdrop; it’s a living, breathing character in its own right. Every detail pulls you deeper into this world, from the meticulously crafted costumes to the period-accurate architecture. This historical immersion doesn’t just serve the aesthetics—it enriches the entire narrative, grounding the fantastical elements in a world that feels as real as your own. Unless you know something we don’t, except for the witches and vampires?

The Dark Evolution of Matthew Clairmont

Matthew Clairmont’s past comes back to haunt him with a vengeance, and Matthew Goode’s performance is captivating. He expertly navigates the fine line between restrained intensity and explosive emotion, bringing the character to life with smoldering intensity and magnetic terror. It’s a masterclass in understated menace that makes for some compelling viewing.

Love and Power: The Shifting Dynamics of Matthew and Diana

The relationship between Matthew and Diana remains the beating heart of the series, but in Season 2, it’s fraught with tension from external threats and an evolving power struggle. Diana is no longer the hesitant scholar we met in Season 1—she’s coming into her own, challenging Matthew in ways that shake the foundations of their relationship. The patriarchal backdrop of Elizabethan society adds another layer of complexity, making their love story as much about power as it is about passion. It’s a push and pull that keeps the drama sizzling, and you’ll find yourself invested in every charged exchange.

Blending Fact with Fiction: Historical Figures in the Plot

One of the season’s most delightful tricks is its seamless blending of historical figures with its fictional narrative. Queen Elizabeth I and Christopher Marlowe are more than name-drops—they’re integral to the plot, adding a layer of authenticity that enriches the story. Their interactions with Matthew and Diana aren’t just for show; they’re pivotal to the unfolding drama, offering some of the season’s most electrifying moments. This blending of fact and fiction grounds the supernatural elements in history and sets the series apart from other contemporary fantasy offerings.

A Delicate Balance: Romance and the Supernatural

A Discovery of Witches has always balanced romance with its supernatural elements, and Season 2 is no different. The romantic tension between Matthew and Diana is as intoxicating as ever, but it never overshadows the show’s broader mythos. Instead, the romance enhances the narrative, adding an emotional depth that complements the dark intrigue at the heart of the plot. It’s a careful dance between the heart and the supernatural, and the show pulls it off with aplomb.

Star Performances: Matthew Goode and Teresa Palmer

Matthew Goode and Teresa Palmer continue to anchor the show with stellar performances. Goode brings Matthew Clairmont to life with a smoldering intensity and magnetic terror, while Palmer’s portrayal of Diana Bishop is a revelation. She embodies the character’s transformation with grace and strength, creating an electric dynamic that crackles with every scene. The supporting cast also shines, each actor bringing something unique to the table, further enriching the narrative’s tapestry.

A Visual Feast: The Cinematic Brilliance of Season 2

Visually, Season 2 is a triumph. The cinematography is nothing short of cinematic, with each shot meticulously crafted to enhance the story’s mood and tone. The interplay of light and shadow, the rich color palettes, and the precise camera angles all work harmoniously to create a world that is as visually compelling as it is narratively rich. It’s the kind of show where you could pause at any moment and find a frame worthy of hanging on your wall—a testament to the care and craft that’s gone into every aspect of its production.

Fan and Critic Reactions: Embracing the Darker Narrative

Season 2 has struck a chord with fans and critics alike. The darker, more intricate narrative has been widely praised, with many appreciating the show’s boldness in deepening its themes and expanding its world. The shift to the gritty realism of Elizabethan London has been a particular highlight, adding a fresh dynamic that keeps the series from stagnating. Critics have lauded the show for its character development, atmospheric tension, and historical detail, solidifying its place as a standout in the fantasy genre. It’s a season that doesn’t just continue the story—it elevates it, pushing the boundaries of what a fantasy series can be.

Building on a Solid Foundation: How Season 2 Outshines the First

While Season 1 laid the groundwork, Season 2 takes it to new heights. The progression in tone, plot, and character arcs is evident in every frame, with the creators intent on building something more ambitious and complex. The historical setting, darker themes, and more intense character dynamics contribute to a fresh yet familiar season—a continuation of the story, but one willing to take risks and challenge its audience in new ways.

Delving into Darkness: The Weight of Season 2

The thematic weight of Season 2 is undeniable. It’s not just a stylistic shift—it’s a narrative evolution that delves into the darker corners of its characters’ psyches and the world they inhabit. The exploration of power, betrayal, and control resonates deeper, making the stakes feel higher and the choices more consequential. This isn’t just about good versus evil—it’s about survival, legacy, and lengths to protect what one loves. It’s a season that engages the heart and the mind, leaving you pondering its themes long after the credits roll.

Season 2’s Triumph: A Captivating Blend of Fantasy and History

Ultimately, Season 2 of A Discovery of Witches is a triumph. It’s a masterful blend of fantasy and history, romance and intrigue, all wrapped up in a visually stunning package. The darker, richer narrative pulls you in and refuses to let go, offering an experience as intellectually stimulating as it is emotionally engaging. Whether you’re here for the history, the romance, or the supernatural spectacle, Season 2 delivers on all fronts, leaving you eagerly awaiting what the series has in store next.

[thedeathlysallows]

Is It Over Now? (3)

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Aemma Velaryon; Aegon Targaryen x Aemma Velaryon

Summary: Was it over when she laid down on your couch? Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

Warnings: canon typical Targaryen incest. Spicy content ahead but no smut

Here's the masterlist containing the other drabbles in the series!

I didn't write the full smut scene because I was worried it would be less of a drabble and more of a full chapter. If y'all want the full smut scene let me know!

You aren't how Aemond remembers you at all when he runs into you after your arrival. He's in the courtyard, practicing his swordsmanship with Ser Criston and who should walk up but your bastard brothers. They're accompanied by their father, you trailing behind the three men listlessly... bored even. You're eyes flicker about, taking in the sights of the castle you'd hoped to never see again. There's no joy in your gaze. Not anymore. Aemond isn't sure if he should be worried.

When you finally spare a glance at him he's struck by just how different you look. No longer a gangly, awkward princess, you stand in front of him with the body of a woman. All soft curves and delicate Valeryian features. His eyes linger on your hips and tits, and he decides those might be your best features if it weren't for the gentle slope of your lips as you say his name.

Aemond drops his sword immediately, the taunts of his nephews forgotten the second he hears your voice. He lifts your hand to his mouth as he bows, grazing his lips over your knuckles.

"Princess," Aemond says in greeting.

You pull your hand back, fisting it in the silk of your red dress. "Aemond. Have you seen your brother lately? I've been searching for him."

Why? he wants to demand. Why do you want that drunkard when I'm right here? He's probably off picking up some disease on the Street of Silk as we speak.

Instead, he says, "I'm afraid not, Princess."

"Hmm, pity." You look him up and down. "I'll be off then. Lovely to see you, Uncle. Boys," you give Jace and Luke a pointed glare. "Be good."

Aemond wants to stop you, wants to make you turn around and stay by his side, but he can't find the words. Instead, he takes his frustration out on your brothers by way of sparring before taking his own leave and hunting down the serving girl who has been your stand in for months now.

You, on the other hand, search the Red Keep for Aegon. You've already seen and spent time with Helaena, fawning over her and her children even if the reunion was a bit stiff and awkward. You like Helaena, love her even. She's by far the sweetest person you've ever met. How she's lasted in a marriage to Aegon, you'll never know.

He wrote you letters while you were at Dragonstone. As did Aemond. You answered Aegon more often, though. Maybe it was out of some strange, misplaced sense of loyalty that you did so. Aegon was supposed to be your husband after all. Even with his many, many, many... personality defects... you still feel closest to him after all these years.

"Oh, excuse me!" You stop a young serving girl who is in the middle of leaving what you remember to be Aemond's chambers. She's a pretty blonde with a kind smile. "Have you seen Prince Aegon?"

She shakes her head. "No, your highness, I'm sorry. I... I thought I saw the Queen going in his chambers earlier."

You nod. "Thank you..."

"Emma, your highness." She curtsies and looks to the ground.

"Emma. Thank you." You walk further down the hall, counting doors until you come to what you know to be Aegon's chambers.

The décor around the Red Keep has changed immensely since you've been gone. Many of the more obscene tapestries that imprinted themselves in your young mind are gone, replaced with religious imagery of the Seven. You can only imagine the fit Daemon is throwing over the change. Honestly, you don't really feel one way or another about it as long as it was your grandfather's decision, but a large part of you knows it was likely Alicent's doing.

Speaking of, the Queen exits Aegon's chambers right as you're about to announce yourself. She gives you no more than a tight lipped smile, exhaustion and disappointment dimming her eyes.

You cautiously make your way inside. "What was that about?"

Aegon sits on his bed with his head in his hands, a simple white sheet covering his lap. He perks up when he hears your voice and you can't help but return his boyish grin. "Nothing. Something about some serving girl I don't even remember."

"I don't believe you."

"Good. You shouldn't. I'm a bad, bad man."

You pour yourself some wine from the pitcher on his bedside table. "Self deprecation doesn't suit you."

"Who said it was self deprecation? I hurt everyone around me." Aegon sighs and leans back in bed, patting the empty spot beside him.

You know better than to get in Aegon's bed, but he just looks so pathetic. And maybe that's why you favor him so much. You have a soft spot for sad, broken, pathetic things. Aegon knows this. Just as you know he plays on your feelings. What you can't figure out is why you allow it. If anyone else were to treat you the way Aegon does you would feed them to Vermithor... and yet your uncle is allowed to do as he pleases with your heart.

"Remember the game we would play when we were betrothed?" Aegon bunches your skirt in his fist, dragging it up your thigh slowly. The silk tickles against your bare skin.

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest. "Yes."

"Care to play again, niece?"

Aegon is allowed to do as he pleases with your heart just as he is allowed to do as he pleases with your body.

"Yes." The word comes out in an almost whimper and Aegon's smile turns predatory.

"Yes what?"

"Yes, my prince."

Aegon pushes the blanket from his lap and pulls you down on top of him. There's the sound of your dress ripping and Aegon's moan of pleasure.

"Good girl," he whispers in your ear. "You've always been my good girl."

[lonelypep]

hi tumblr

ive been rewatching gravity falls and i thought it would be funny to recap certain events in the show with no context whatsoever

-dipper sings dancing queen by abba with a mutant bear he was about to kill.

-stan, a man in his 60-70s, lectures a child on how to formulate an evil plan. (the child is 4 years old, stans rival, and having a mental breakdown because stan's granchildren are in his armpits)

-dipper gets literally mauled by a wolf and decides its better than going to his sister's sleepover.

-larry king gets decapitated.

-kids break in to a convenience store where one of them gets high out of her mind on cheap illegal ice cream (normal tuesday for these kids)

-kids find out about the 8th and a half president: who made the first all-baby supreme court.

-grunkle stan wins the football bowl. he taught the footballers and their gloating friends a lesson. he wins a football winning trophy, and a beautiful woman aptly named beautiful woman. but he couldnt have done it, any of it, without his sidekick footbot.

-soos is canonically afraid of british dog men. hes so real for that honestly.

-ARE YOU SICK OF PILES OF OWLS CONSTANTLY BLOCKING YOUR DRIVEWAY?! WELL THEN YOU GOTTA GET OWL TROWEL

-youre laughing. people are sick of piles of owls constantly blocking their driveway and youre laughing.

-the only on screen character death, with the exception of bill, is that of big henry, who sacrificed himself by taking a golf ball to the other side of the mine. the protagonists never learn this.

-soos turns into clay and starts breaking the laws of the universe. so stan kills him with a radio.

-two kids travel back in time and crush toby's musical theatre dreams.

-"dudebro" became a mainstay in my regular vocabulary for two years because of this show.

-grunkle stan teaches a bear how to drive. he almost gets arrested in this episode. not for teaching a bear how to drive but because of tax fraud.

-soos' stomach emits whale noises.

-mcgucket has apparently exploded an entire downtown city because his pal earnie didn't come to his retirement party. justified tbh

-stan starts booing some little kids because they told their grandpa they loved him

-let me just set the scene for a sec here: its 2016. its a beautiful summer day, where the hazy nostalgia of a music festival fills your eyes, your ears, and the uneasy excitement of love in the hot summer air makes every second better than the last. suddenly, a gigantic flaming head of a man saying "i eat kids" descends upon you from the sky. the graphic horror is something youll never forget. the grotesque image of people in terror at this gargantuan mass of flaming flesh. it burns into your eyes. is this it for you? you see a child, clueless to the situation, ask his mother his final words: is the giant flaming head going to eat us? she says yes. as it consumes you, you cry a single tear. im done being dramatic but this did happen

-beautiful men eat out of stan's trash (this apparently happens consistently)

-youre laughing. darn beautiful men are always eating out of his trash and youre laughing.

-stan strips on public television.

-gourney gets eaten by a halloween monster. he is only freed when soos eats the monnster.

-the gravity falls universe has a public television program where babies fight each other.

-grunkle stan tries to burn aforementioned four year old nemesis alive.

-ok not really but he tries to blind him at least which is still pretty bad.

-grunkle stan tries to steal an animatronic badger

-mabeland has a government entirely run by mabel. this makes mabel an autocratic fascist. sorry i dont make the rules.

-soos' mom turns into a chair.

-theres a character named toot toot mc bumblesnazzle, who plays a banjo. go ahead and guess his narrative importance. if you guess cult leader, correct!

-neil degrasse tyson plays a pig.

and last but certainly not least, stan has illegally shipped pugs across the us border.

[humanradiojmp]

My blind reaction to TADC Episode 4

Spoilers ahead, so precede with caution

It’s nice to see the characters outside Pomni interacting with each other. Shows more for the other characters And shows Pomni is starting to become more adjusted to the place.

I actually believe Jax in that he didn’t intentionally break her mask, but he would have eventually

Zooble’s room. That’s it

So does that mean Gangle can wear any mask? Like, if there was an adventure where there were different masks available, could she wear them? And how much would it affect her? I kind of want to see her wear an Oni mask or something similar and see what happens

Caine, are you trying to traumatize your guests?

Honestly, who would want that to happen to them?

Maybe if you looked at it at least once, the common complaint of you being bad at your job wouldn’t be an issue, Caine

Expected of Jax

Also weirdly expected of Jax for that response

Who suggested that? I’m half wondering if it’s someone that’s been there a while and wanted something “normal”, and possibly one of the now abstracted circus members

Gangle actually smiling and more than for a few seconds is so different yet so nice

Jax’s face at the day’s adventure is hilarious

Did Kinger suggest that to be nice to Caine or to get out of the minimum wage-based labor? Who knows for certain?

Your opinion and objections are invalid; you’re going on the adventure

“Can we go to McDonald’s?” “We have McDonald’s at home.” The McDonald’s at home:

Oh yeah she was definitely a shift manager before

Ragatha, No!

giving Caine the idea of extra motivation after an adventure definitely isn’t going to backfire in a future episode; I’m sure of that

Jax is getting his just deserts while manning the only deserts in the store

Please get Ragatha out of the deep fryer, that can’t be good for her cloth body

Honestly, what else did you expect; that’s your hand

From a previous adventure, eh? [I think we all know where this is going]

Basically what it’s like when you can barely understand a customer despite asking for clarification Three times and you go with the closest thing on the menu

Makes me think of those places where they have excessively complicated names for their dishes, but in this case, it’s real

Having an employee that’s (borderline) high is completely accurate for food service businesses

Yep, called it

I honestly was not expecting GummiGoo to come back, nor was I expecting him to come back this soon if he was

Was that joke necessary?

Don’t, don’t, don’t be suspicious

The shippers are going to go crazy with that comment

Ngl, I kind of like the Gloink Queen

That’s oddly specific

Since we’re airing our grievances that may or may not be related to our job, let me take a minute to convince you to put up giant glow-in-the-dark house numbers, because I’m super frustrated when I can’t read the tiny non-reflective house numbers and have no idea if I’m at the actual place for the delivery; especially when the numbers are in a really inconvenient location so I definitely can’t see them

That’s low-key horrifying

Again, borderline high is acceptable so long as it’s away from the food and out of the customer’s sight

I get that reference!

I have a feeling every time there’s a crack, the tragedy mask is cracking. So when she takes off the painted one?

Gangle having an existential crisis is not what I was expecting

One of the shift leaders at my job used to say that all the time

Oh nevermind, it’s still there

At least Pomni tried

I like how the cars are labeled

Zooble having to do everything while Ragatha is just zonked out is… interesting

I kind of wish I actually went through with saying this prior, but I really hope Gangle doesn’t abstract. I think it would be unfair for the character and a little too soon narratively speaking for it to be effective. But it seems we might be getting that…

Pomni to the rescue, thank you, girl!

Shankshaw Redemption staring Gangle

And we’re back to our cruel reality

I know a lot of people ship abstragedy, but I more platonically pair them up. I see them as the best of friends who unintentionally mess crap up and have each other’s back. Seems like that’s at least partially true

Is it just me or was this episode kind of depressing

Watching this whole I work at my minimum wage food service job probably wasn’t the best idea….

And that’s episode 4

[eyeofnewtblog]

Things that happen at work:

Got hired by a trucking company doing admin to safety stuff.

My new boss, in the interview: I’d love to have you start on *specific date* so that we can do the on boarding stuff, but we’re going to have the Driver Appreciation BBQ literally the day after and I want everyone to meet you.

Me: That’s honestly a good plan. I’m completely available for whatever happens, what time do I need to be there?

My actual second day of being hired and going through the whole set up of Driver Appreciation BBQ Day:

*chopped four onions for burgers and sobbed in the break room*

My boss: *lightly supervises but is honestly a Party Queen because she’s a Hispanic mom and is used to throwing parties for 100 plus people in her own backyard let alone a work bbq, you don’t even understand she literally looked at the corporate list of supplies and was like “nah, too much. Mmm. Maybe. Hm. Not enough.” AND WAS EXACTLY RIGHT she owns her own bouncy house, she’s got this shit on lockdown, ok?

So like two hours into this polite bullshit introductory hell scape (I am fine with meeting new people in large groups but I hate meeting people in “sterile corporate” settings, like, if I’m going to remember you, it’s because you did something actually meaningful or interesting, NOT because you shook my hand for five seconds and said you go by Steve or Becky…)

Me, to EVERYONE because my job is to Hand Out Shirts and Lunchboxes: Hi! I’m the new girl from Safety! Who are you exactly? Please don’t expect me to remember you, I’m terrible at putting names and faces together, but I’m sure we’ll talk again soon! What size T-shirt do you want? Here’s your lunch box!

Me: *finally gets a break and sits down to eat some honestly decent brauts and potato salad, deliberately choosing to sit next to one of the drivers that’s been at the company for a while* Hi, how’s it going? I’m the new safety girl!

Older driver whose name I don’t know YET: I’m doin’ pretty good with all this free food. So, you gonna stick around after the little one comes along, or are you gonna leave us high and dry like the last one?

Me, honestly pretty angry but trying to be cool: Not pregnant, just fat.

*very very very awkward silence, like this dude knew that he fucked up, but also the way my body is shaped I really don’t blame him for thinking what he did*

He did actually apologize right then and there, and honestly the entire way he went about everything was from a genuinely good place, and I personally thought it was funny after it was all said and done. Verbal on the spot forgiveness type stuff.

Guess who fucks up the very next day by UNINTENTIONALLY losing a very important document of the exact driver who “insulted” me?

Yeah. So. I spent my entire first week on a brand new job searching through three giant filing cabinets and 20 years worth of documents for ONE fucking medical card. I didn’t find it. Believe me, I looked at every single piece of paper in those cabinets, I have no fucking clue where I put it.

The driver was really nice about it and we had a good laugh about him putting his foot in his mouth and me swearing up and down I didn’t do it for revenge.

Honestly I have no idea how any of this will turn out, but every one seems nice so far so I’m really hopeful.

[space-zaddy-din-djarin]

Finally decided to post a bit of that story I was talking about! It’s a Sauron x OC story, and it’s a bit of a slow burn (but it actually depends on what kind of day I was having—hahahaha kidding). It’s been forever since I last shared anything like this. I used to write back in high school, but I was so bad at keeping up with it because, well... school. Now that I’ve got a job and some actual free time, I figured I’d get back into it. Honestly, it feels kind of weird but also exciting to share again. Anywayyyyy, hope you like it :')

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The chamber was silent save for the faint crackle of the hearth. Shadows danced across the stone walls, twisting and curling like serpents. Halbrand—no, Sauron—sat in the corner, leaning back in an intricately carved chair that once belonged to some forgotten Númenórean craftsman. His head rested against the cold wood, his golden eyes half-lidded as he stared into the flickering flames.

It had been years—centuries, even—since he’d allowed himself to linger on a single thought. And yet, here he was, trapped in the haunting presence of a single name.

Erisa.

The taste of it lingered on his tongue like the first sip of an intoxicating wine. Sweet, yet potent enough to burn.

A slow, bitter smile curled his lips. “Foolish,” he muttered to himself, his voice barely a whisper.

And yet, he couldn’t deny it. She had stirred something in him—something he had long thought buried beneath layers of cunning and cruelty.

He closed his eyes, and for a moment, her image came to him unbidden: the fire in her gaze, the way her magic sparked and flared when her emotions surged, the graceful curve of her blade as it caught the moonlight. But it wasn’t just her beauty, though he’d be a liar to deny it. No, it was the defiance in her. The way she stood tall against him, unyielding, even as the weight of her power threatened to consume her.

She is like a storm.

And storms, he thought, were beautiful because they were fleeting.

Sauron opened his eyes, the faintest hint of a scowl darkening his features. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he let his fingers curl together. This… distraction, this fascination with her—it was dangerous.

He had walked this path before. He had looked upon beauty and power and sought to shape it, mold it into something greater. And every time, it had ended in betrayal.

But Erisa was different. She was no naïve queen to be seduced, no mortal fool blinded by promises of glory. She was sharp and wary, a creature of light who had learned to wield the shadow. She challenged him, resisted him, and yet… she lingered.

“Why do you linger?” he murmured, his voice barely audible over the crackle of the fire.

He hated how she unsettled him. Her presence made him question things he had no right to question. The Maia he had been—the servant of Aulë, the architect of beauty and order—would have admired her. But the Dark Lord he had become? He had no use for admiration.

And yet, he could not look away.

There was a darkness in her, faint and unspoken, that he could see clearly. The kind of darkness that came not from malice, but from survival, from a life lived on the edge of trust and fear. It called to him, whispered promises of understanding, of kinship.

But it was her light that burned him.

She was everything he had sought to extinguish—hope, resilience, the stubborn belief in something greater than oneself. It was infuriating. Mesmerizing.

Sauron leaned back in his chair, his jaw tightening. He should break her. Tear down her walls, unravel her piece by piece until there was nothing left but raw power waiting to be shaped. It would be so easy—just a word, a whisper of doubt, and she would fall.

But the thought sickened him.

Why?

He stood abruptly, pacing the length of the room. His boots echoed against the stone floor, the sound sharp and hollow. He was Sauron, Lord of Gifts, the Deceiver of Men. He did not falter. He did not feel.

And yet…

He remembered the way she had looked at him earlier that night, her eyes blazing with defiance and something else—something softer, unspoken. A flicker of trust, perhaps? Or curiosity? He could not tell, and the uncertainty gnawed at him.

She was a puzzle he could not solve, a flame he could not snuff out. And it enraged him as much as it fascinated him.

Stopping by the window, he gazed out at the city below. The sea stretched out beyond the walls, its dark waters shimmering under the pale light of the moon. He had always loved the sea—its depth, its power, its silence.

“I will break you,” he said softly, his voice a promise to the night.

But even as the words left his lips, he knew they were a lie.

Erisa would not break. She would bend, perhaps—she might even yield, for a moment—but she would never truly shatter.

And he… he wasn’t sure he wanted her to.

Sauron clenched his fists, his nails biting into his palms. This weakness, this hesitation—it would destroy him if he let it. He could not afford to feel. Not now. Not ever.

But as he turned away from the window, her name slipped from his lips once more, barely audible, like a prayer to a god he no longer believed in.

“Erisa.”