#honestly kinda proud that I managed to make myself write something again

[hiccupbutpurple]

Decided to write a random Snotlout angst fic. I may clean this up and expand and publish but for now I’m just gonna put it here.

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, loneliness, a mention of suicidal ideation, self-judgment, depressiveness, I think that’s it

Context: set sometime after Chain of Command but I didn’t look at the timeline or anything so it’s a bit iffy. Also I know very little when it comes to Norse mythological figures. This is just a self-indulgent vent fic and basically just me projecting some of my fears and feelings but making it a little bit of a Snotlout character analysis (I wouldn’t say it is an analysis tho). This isn’t edited or anything either.

The edge was wonderful. Sure, there were attacks and new responsibilities, threats of the unknown and a whole lot of pressure, but it was freedom and adventure. On Berk there were expectations. There were rules and normalities that were confining, especially to someone like Snotlout. There was still a similar fear, one of being cast out for not being able to fit it, but as time flew past, the collective anxieties the riders had unanimously disappeared. They would make jabs and bicker as they always had, but it was clear they were a team.

No one was left behind, human or dragon. That’s what Hiccup had said. That’s the philosophy they all followed.

However, in the silence of an empty hut, Snotlout began to doubt. Hookfang had gone to the stables for the night after the Viking had lashed out. He couldn’t remember what he lashed out about now, probably something stupid. He knew the guilt would hit later but all he felt was a tired numbness and resignation.

While his eyes were close, praying to Nótt to let him sleep for a while - or maybe forever, his thoughts flew, much like Hiccup and Toothless seemed to be if the occasional shriek wasn’t just in his imagination. They thoughts weren’t new, even if he had the engere, he didn’t need to read into them like he used to. They were a constant now, not necessarily a comforting constant, but one nonetheless.

He lived on the edge for the time being, but one day they would have to return. It could be easier to go back sooner, try and avoid getting to attached. That had been his plan when the edge was under attack and lava periodically spewed and why keep up the illusion when it would be harder in the long run. Still, the idea of actually going back hurt. To go back to those oppressive rulers, the feeling of eyes judging every move, the inability to express who he was. It would hurt.

The worst part though was already in motion. It always had been from the time the first insult left his mouth. It was predestined since being born a Jorgensen. Or at least being born as the child of Spitelout, in a world where bravado and strength meant survival. Berk had always been like that, it still was, but Hiccup was changing that. Maybe if he was more like Hiccup, the opposite of what his dad had made him, he wouldn’t be alone.

On the edge they had each other. He was needed and they cared to a degree but he knew how they felt about him. If it came between him and another member of the team, he knew who the rest would pick. Why chose someone who insults, who overreacts, who’s the least competent? He knew his faults but how was he supposed to change who he is.

Not to mention, everyone else has someone or something. Hiccup has Astrid and Toothless and they have him. The twins have each other, Fishlegs has knowldge, Heather for a while, and now Ruffnut seemed to be growing fond of him in her own way. Tuff even has chicken. Of course, they all have their dragons, just like he has Hookfang, but even his own dragon doesn’t want to be around right now. Minden was kind, said she liked him too, but how could they possibly work with her as a wingmaiden? He’s sure she would tire of him eventually anyway. Everyone seemed to.

Now he didn’t even have the energy to force himself to talk, to make them give him a place among them, to remind them he existed too. Maybe he would tomorrow but would that effort even matter? In the long term they would all have their places and he would be left. Destined to want but no ability to have.

[silksongeveryday]

Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 365!

1 year! One whole year of daily doodles!!

Honestly?? Idk how to feel, so much has happened since I first started this blog.

I guess I’ll just write what I’m thinking right now??

(Everything under the cut, this thing is longer than I expected)

A lot of this text probably isn’t going to make sense. I’m writing this at 1 am. If there’s any mistakes or errors that’s why. I’ll fix them in the morning maybe.

So like. This whole thing kinda started as a joke, I wasn’t intending to actually draw for a year straight lmao. Like I even used a completely different art style from my regular one that was simple, quick and intentionally dumb. Not that I’m upset by it, I’m actually quite proud of myself that I managed to stick to something for an entire year. That’s pretty unusual for me believe it or not. My original intention was to stop at maybe 20 days because I really wasn’t expecting for this blog to get as much love as it did.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much to everyone who has followed and supported this silly little idea I had, you guys are the biggest reason my experience has been so positive and worth it. (Sure it’s not original but I hope it’s at least been interesting!)

I’ve said this a few times now but I’ve mentioned wanting to take a break. I’ll admit that even though it’s been fun it’s still pretty tiring to keep up with this blog sometimes since some recent life events have made it so hard. After some thought, I’ve decided that I’ll likely take a break sometime in the coming months. Maybe toward day 400 or so. As of right now, things are at a lull so I’ve been okay enough mentally and physically to keep up this daily streak I think. Though this could change in an instant for whatever reason.

Overall I think my burnout has kind of gone away I think?? Or at least I’ve been reinvigorated recently after replaying a few runs of hk randomizer and steel soul. No promises it’ll stay away but I silly expect it to come in waves.

Ok but call me crazy or delusional or whatever, but my hopes are up that Silksong will release this year. (which means slowing down/not doing daily doodles yay) I genuinely believe big news is coming since I’ve been getting a lot of dreams lately about something happening with Silksong in March. Idk, I could be wrong but after doing this for a year I’m literally clinging onto anything right now lol

I’d obviously still make the occasional doodle or two when HKSS releases but not daily. This stuff is tough to keep up sometimes, I would never do daily posts like this again once it’s over

Oh yeah also I have an actual big drawing I’m still working on, expect that in sometime in the next few weeks I think!

Anyway, I can’t think of anything else to say right now so I guess that’s it for now!

Thanks so much and here’s to more doodles!

[dragonfly0808]

Hiatus

So… this is a post I’ve been debating with myself these past 2/3 weeks on whether to make or not.

Some of yall may have noticed that I’ve been taking quite a few breaks from s4 and I have unfortunately just finally allowed myself to acknowledge that I’ve hit a bit of a writing block when it comes to my Winx Club rewrite.

I’ve had a few frustrations during s4 (even though I’ve managed to keep my writing up to my own personal standards, it’s been very difficult) and- despite being halfway through the season, unlike past seasons I still have no idea what I’m going to do with s5 and it’s just been getting to me.

And now I am forced to accept that if I keep forcing myself to churn out chapters and stressing out over keeping you all waiting until I’m satisfied with every chapter, the only thing I’ll do is kill my creativity and my love for this rewrite.

I’ve been working on this rewrite for nearly 3 years and it kinda low-key shames me to say that I am officially placing it on hiatus.

To me ‘taking a break’ and ‘hiatus’ are 2 completely different things, I know I’ve taken breaks before but I always had some vague idea of when I’d return but this time… I just don’t know.

I have been working on my Original Novel and works for other fandoms that have just been filling me with inspiration in a way I haven't been able to feel with Winx Club for a bit now.

I hope I have built up enough trust over these past 3 years for you all to believe me when I say that I will be back. I am not the type to leave things unfinished, especially a story that means so much to me and that I am so very proud of and that has helped me grow so much as a writer and has helped me get through some difficult times and express certain emotions and grief in a way I never could’ve if I hadn’t dived into this 3 long years ago.

I was really hoping to post chapters for Xmas and New Years as I have past years but I just can’t- HOWEVER, on January 28th, the third anniversary of Veiled Wings and Shattered Panoramas, I will post… something. I don’t know if it will be a chapter or not but I will do something for the anniversary.

If you wanna know what I’ll be up to; I will be working on my Original Novel since I have finally landed on exactly what idea I want to work on. I will also be working on 2 projects, one for ATLA (Zutara post-canon self-indulgent thingy) and another one that I honestly don’t know if I’ll go through with since it’d be a pretty big project and I’m still thinking about how I’d go about it, but that I am very inspired and excited about.

So yeah, thank you all for your never ending support and- again, I WILL BE BACK, this is not an abandonment of the rewrite, it’s just me having to prioritize my mental health and protect both my love for writing and my love for the rewrite. I’ll be going through my inbox this next week and answer a bunch of stuff that I just haven’t really looked through in a while.

Thank you so much for understanding and for your support. I hope you will wait for the return of the rewrite and that maybe you will give my other projects a chance when I post them. I will be posting a lot of my inner thoughts on the rewrite and my other projects chapters + thoughts on my Ko-fi if you wanna check that out.

I wish you all Happy Holidays!

With eternal love and gratitude,

Yours Truly, Dragonfly

[confessionseddie]

2024 💖

tagged by @butchdiaz and @saryasy and @livingincolorsagain for a 2024 fic roundup (thank you!!) but since i didn't publish all that much fic i'll include some gifsets too just because i'm proud of them :) @cinematicnomad also tagged me in a 2024 in gifs roundup so i thought i'd combine the two 💕 bit late but hey.

AUGUST

most popular: buddie in 6x01 favorite: gayddie in season 6b my first proper gifset for 911 before i was even really in the fandom :) i still had 911 blacklisted while i was watching so i wasn't spoiled for anything, and watching eddie in s6b in particular felt like.... well, it made me want to actually make a gifset after the hobby had been soured for me for a while. also i think many now beloved mutuals found me through this post so 🫶🏻 thank you eddie

SEPTEMBER

most popular: eddie in 4x06 favorite: buck + it lingers for your whole life :)

OCTOBER

most popular: buck in 8x03 favorite: parameddie in season 8a honarary mention: eddie's hands in 8x04

FIC

kerosene (6.5k words, E) dear to my heart kerosene, which was as much a love letter to buck as it was a little bit of selfish catharsis-- i think i'll never write anything as good as this again and i'm completely fine with that.

NOVEMBER

i'm pretty sure this month rendered me temporarily insane. luckily i wasn't alone in that.

most popular: good cologne / hence the button down favorites: gossip eddie the sheer joy i felt making this and it only took me like two hours. i was genuinely smiling grinning chuckling kicking my feet the entire time. whimsy eddie forever and: bobbyeddie something i wouldn't really have thought to make myself but my dearest kasia suggested it and i thought. why the hell not. this gifset is probably the one that took the most effort out of anything i made last year but it was also the most gratifying in the end :) and the response i got upon posting was SO lovely i felt my heart warm for weeks after :')

FIC

groom (548 words, G) a drabble from a fic that will never see the light of day, probably. haha but i think i got all their voices right and it felt like an actual scene from the show which i was proud of considering i often struggle with dialogue. DIAZ (3k words, E) my most kudosed fic ever :) i reread this one myself all the time because it feels so cozy. i love when the words just pour out of me and buddie sort of write themselves. freaks 4 monogamy buddie my beloved risky (ryliver, 3.4k words, E) yeah. 🏇 did not expect anyone to even read this honestly lmao, considering i posted it anonymously. half writing challenge half blacked-out-watching-rg-dance-in-his-underwear kinda situation pulmonary (4.5k words, M) while this is not polished to perfection i still managed to write what i wanted to write :) i got some of the loveliest comments i've ever received on any of my writing here, too, so it was all worth it

DECEMBER

most popular: brat taming - a guide by eddie diaz favorite: the above forever and ever :) best thing i've ever posted.

some sap-- said it before, will say it again, this is the most fun i've had in fandom in years and years. i love coming here and posting my silly lil gifs and words, and i appreciate reading every single tag or comment or message anyone ever sends me or leaves under my stuff so thank you!! MWAH. 💋💋

[anime-grimmy-art]

It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

[noellesnowelle]

2 Weeks Update

happy new year! why is the first week of january always so hard?, starting to sew, filming and editing my first video, cold and snowy days, no routine (yet)

30.12.2024-12.01.2025

Honestly, the first week in the new year is always so hard for me. I guess it is because after christmas and new year I have no routine but online you are in this flood of new year goals and habits and 'do this to make 2025 your best year' videos. And it feels like you need to start something new but you are literally still in this festive slump.

Anyways. The first week was not so nice (also no update because I literally had a headache because of too little sleep). But therefore the second week, this week, was way better.

I started a lot of new things which was sometimes very frustrating but also a lot of fun. And I just started it without planning my goals first. Somtimes just doing the thing is honestly better than planning for a long time before.

And now I have lots of motivation again and the coming week I will try and get into a study routine again. (And finally write my goals down)

Studying

applied for a workshop that will go over multiple weeks which I am excited for

finally got my physical certificate for the course I did the last three months in 2024 (missing some people from that already)

Languages

I downloaded Duolingo again because my brothers have a competition going on and it got me motivated (and competitive too)

but I already regret it (the Korean course is literally so shit, but at least the new music one is kinda fun)

writing a few sentences a day in my colouring book calendar, depending on what language (except English and German) I am feeling in that moment

Health

I started doing pilates workouts and why have I avoided doing pilates for so long? It is fun!

but I think I pulled a muscle or overdid it because now my back hurts during certain movements...

I am trying to get my sleeping schedule back to an earlier routine - sleeping earlier and also waking up earlier - because I noticed that waking up at 8am is too late and makes me feel more sleepy and so incredibly unmotivated...

For myself

I started learning to sew this week because my mum finally repaired her sewing machine and had time to show me how to use it! It is so much fun, but surprisingly also very hard and my patience was already tested. A lot.

But I managed to repair a hole in my sweater and that was the first win! I plan on repairing or altering as much clothes as I can besides other stuff and maybe even start making my own clothes this year? Originally I didn't plan to do this, but my mums offer to teach me kickstarted this now and I am not complaining. I am also very grateful that my mother is also doing a lot of different handicrafts as I basically have everything I need, no matter what I want to learn. It's incredible.

Besides that I also filmed my first ASMR video this week, edited it and uploaded it yesterday! I love listening to ASMR and I always wanted to try it myself and now I did it. And it is amazing. Not only is the making of the video kind of like a meditation with focusing on my senses, but the editing is also very nice because I literally can create an ASMR video completely to my own liking, while listening to ASMR. (But the exporting and uploading was a pain of literally 9 consecutive hours and multiple errors (my poor old laptop) but I didn't give up and I am proud of myself for that.)

(If you are interested in checking it out -> here )

this week's

reading / watching / listening

The Honey Witch - Sydney J. Shields

Dungeon & dragons, Honor among thieves

Fieber Flow - Julien Bam & Mahluna

Starvation - AURORA

Water - Tyla

[hangsabove]

Hii, heey!

Its always so sad to see people who had an impact in your life in some ways drop from the radar, mostly you are just worried about them.. I am so thrilled to see that you are back on the tumblr wagon, back to creating your amazing art, but most important thing is to see the that you are thriving after some obviously hard time in life, its...helping..you know, to speak about that openly and it gives hope to other people that the dark time might pass and you might enjoy life again, that you might enjoy something that you thought was lost long ago for you (tumblr, art, fandoms, people)? This is such an important message and it takes a lot of courage to admit that you was not in a good place for a long time and the ability to gain strenght to actually dig yourself out of that hole takes time and patience, you have to learn to be gentler to yourself. I am so so proud of you, i am literally devouring all the nice messages that you've got as a support and i think it has a healing effect on me too for some reason?

Sending you SO much love, hope you have an amazing day, we would love to see what you are up to even if its not a fandom art anymore, its great either way! 💜

Honestly sometimes I have come on here just to talk about what I can’t express in Real life to people around me. I feel guilty at times, because the version of myself I want to be wants to be better at managing my feelings and being able to use Tumblr or my art to make other people happy. So much so I’d wrap my identity into my interactions with people on here. And to come here and emotionally unload that I was struggling felt like I had dirtied the waters and this place wasn’t peaceful or happy because I couldn’t be those things either.

When I see messages like these I kinda hoard them in my inbox to reread when I’m having a particularly hard day. This was an amazing message to send to me, and I’m not posting art at the moment. So it means a lot that I’m still a person on here with or without making things.

I truly appreciate you taking your time to write this, and it makes me feel relieved that when I was coming here and spilling my hurt it was pushing people away from this account.

[applesfallingfromblondehair]

its 10AM and i’m sobbing actual tears…what the fuck, the ending- THE ENDING?!?! but first;

waughy telling matty about him and ross was honestly quite heartbreaking but i was so happy to see past raughy being included (totally unrelated but i need a spin off of them ‘messing about’ 9 years ago😏)

matty and ross’ argument outside the pub was a tear-jerker, i feel so upset for ross but sadly i understand matty’s thought process (of sorts) about shifting the media off ross by creating an even bigger headline (though this understanding of matty might just be because i see myself so much in his character)

“Because it’s bad and I’m not proud of it. But I did it for us,” he says again, moving even closer to Ross. “For you. So they would leave you alone.” - the fact that he’s practically willing to put his whole career on the line for ross shows how much he does really care about ross.

i didn’t go to the dublin show however i watched it all unfold thanks to my mates who sent me updates, videos and facetimed me throughout the show and honestly you’ve captured the energy of the show perfectly, especially LIIWMI. watching that over facetime and what matty said about the article afterwards was terrifying.

the final argument at the end though had me sobbing, matty telling ross about his swan shag with george and then ross’ reaction was heartbreaking. matty finally saying “I love you” and then “I love you, and I’m really, really sorry.” made me out my phone down and just sit in silence for 5 minutes to let it all sink in (also to cry but we don’t talk about that🫠)

with only 2 chapters remaining, i don’t want this to be the end of matty and ross but i’m not sure they’ll be the same after this, even after belfast. but who knows, maybe a miracle will happen and team ross will make it out on top🤷‍♂️

Not sobbing at 10am 😭😭 I'm sorry for the pain, I truly am.

I might well write that Raughy spinoff honestly, god knows I've been wanting to do something with them for a while now... Stay tuned 😎

I'm so glad that the content I linked helped visualise what happened—i was second row for that gig and let me tell you it was SCARY TIMES during LIIWMI. I haven't posted that specific video, I don't think, but maybe one day I will. Just... Yeah 😬

Do you believe in miracles? Because I kinda do. Hopefully I manage to tie this all together, very nervous now 🥲

See you next week, if I can finish this Belfast chapter. I'm so close but it's just not flowing—too much work, too much to think about, too much travelling, too little sleep. But it's coming, I promise ❤️

Thank you so much for the extensive feedback, you're a peach 🍑

[quelsentiment]

✨ 2022 Writing Year In Review ✨

Thanks so much to @haztobegood for tagging me :))

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 12

2. Word count posted for the year: 107,847

3. Fandoms I wrote for:  One Direction, Shaw Mendes, Video Blogging RPF (Dream and co.)

4. Pairings: OT5, Niall/Zayn, Niall/Harry, Niall/Louis, Niall/Liam, Niall/Shawn (so many Niall pairings wtf), Zayn/Liam, Zayn/Louis, Zayn/Harry, Liam/Louis, Dream/Georgenotfound

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: In the midst of a storm

Bookmarks: In the midst of a storm

Comments: In the midst of a storm

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

I feel like I have to answer In the midst of a storm. Writing this fic was extremely frustrating at times because I had this amazing picture of it in my head but I felt like I could never do it justice due to lack of time, energy, and stability. I pushed myself through it and managed to finish it, though, and honestly some comments I got on it made me look at it in a much more positive light! Hopefully I’ll be able to read it back one day without cringing too much lol

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Probably As long as you’re not afraid to feel. Not that I think it’s bad or anything, but I feel like you can tell by reading it that I wasn’t really into it. It’s one of these fics whose idea I came up with early on, but only started working on it months afterwards due to other commitments, and by then I’d kind of lost my initial interest in it :/ I do think it’s a pretty fun one, but it could have been much better if I’d worked on it as soon as I started brainstorming it

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

As I said, some of the reviews on In the midst of a storm really warmed my heart and kinda made me change my opinion on it! Shoutout to @lululawrence‘s lovely comments especially 😊

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Ugh, the entire year until September, basically. 2022 has been a very stessful year for me, and despite wanting to make writing a priority, it definitely felt like I’d lost my mojo at times. I only started to pull myself out of it once I 1. moved back to Canada and 2. got into the Dream fandom - I probably just needed a change after 3 years of focusing exclusively on 1d, I guess

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

I wrote a few smut-adjacent scenes for It the midst of a storm that did surprise me, or at least were a new experience for me lol

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

From Running From The Sun

 “I don’t. I don’t want you,” Niall protests, but it sounds half-hearted at best. Louis almost has her in a chokehold now, and it’s time for her to land the final blow.

 “Yes, you do. You think I haven’t seen the way you were looking at me earlier, while you were dancing with that guy? You think I can’t hear your heart beat faster whenever I get a little too close?” She punctuates her words by taking the last step that separates her and Niall, and now she’s got the slayer right in front of her again. Right where she wants her. “Hell, you think I don’t notice the blood rushing to your cheeks right now?” she adds in a mere whisper. “You think-”

 “Shut up,” Niall hisses out. Louis can see her swallow, and she knows she’s got her now.

 “Make me,” she dares her.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: 

It’s probably gonna sound dramatic but, for the major part of the year, I’ve felt like I was regressing as a writer. I’d constantly be second-guessing everything I wrote down, including stuff that I never had a problem with before (like dialogues). It’s been pretty exhausting, but in the end I guess it did make me grow, in that it made me more aware of my strengths and weaknesses.

A more practical answer would be that I wrote for new pairings and fandoms, and as mentioned before I even wrote some more explicit scenes, which is something I never thought I’d be able to do, much less to share 😳

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

Continue posting for the Dream fandom. I’m currently working on a longer fic for it that I’m really excited about!

Otherwise I’d like to get back into writing everyday, and like Jinny said, try to edit less while writing even though that habit is so ingrained in me that it might prove to be difficult.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

Oh god... My introvert tendencies came back in full force this year, and I ended up taking a big step away from the 1d writing community, unfortunately. Maybe that’s something that I’ll try to change next year too, because I do miss these interactions!

I do want to thank @zou-i-am, though - we had a great time running the Lilo Fest together! Thanks so much to @uhoh-but-yeah-alright too for betaing my Zarry fic :) And of course, much love to Sof if they see this <3

Finally, maaaaany thanks to @allwaswell16 for all the work she puts in to post fic recs and leave thoughtful comments! You’re a legend :))

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Weirdly enough, I wanna say it’s the opposite. In both New York Kiss and In the midst of a storm, Zayn works a retail job, and that’s something I ended up doing for the first time over the summer. Life imitating art and all that 😌

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Who am I to impart wisdom? lol I guess just... don’t give up. If you’re feeling like you’re losing your inspiration, give yourself some time and/or try something else (like a new pairing or something). Follow whatever excites you in a given moment, even if it means putting other projects on hold.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’m excited to keep writing my current Dreamnotfound fic. Also looking forward to running the Zouis Fest again, and to starting writing my fic for it (even though I have no clue what it’ll be yet)

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I’m sure a lot of people have done this already 😬 Maybe @zou-i-am @feeisamarshmallow @zanniscaramouche @uhoh-but-yeah-alright ?

[veenxys]

hi!! i hope you’re having a great day!! i was curious how the bnha boyfies (( deku, bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, denki, sero, shinsou, tamaki, mirio, shindo, monoma, shiggy, dabi + hawks )) would react if their s/o who is selectively clingy w certain people kinda back off suddenly because they just feel.. embarrassed?? like when they were a kid people reacted negatively to their clinginess and would ignore them for it. and they just feel so dumb to show emotion & showing their clinginess? and they feel like they’re being a bother and being annoying too... & suddenly just feel like closing off from the world lol? & like they can just feel really out of place and get negative thoughts that they don’t belong there, X person or a group of ppl in the convo don’t wanna talk to them etc and feel like they don’t belong in the conversation if that makes sense (i get those thoughts especially when i’m in a group i feel like i get overlooked a lot lol and i’ve never really felt included + like i can just feel so overwhelmed sometimes about the amount pf people / crowds or feeling like i’m being judged bc i’m beating myself up mentally abt my insecurities and i just end up most likely having a panic attack and just like tearing up, either crying on the spot or trying to hold it in till i get home). i’ve been feeling like this recently and i’d love to see what they’d do if that’s possible please!! thank you so much!!

»»————-　★　————-««

a/n: english is not my first language, sorry if I have a mistake!

Hi my angel, sorry but I don't write to Monoma or Shindo :/ and I loved this request because I feel exactly like this, so I did my best to make you feel comfortable. <3

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Bakugou

You are the only person who can break Bakugou's shields and he is very grateful for that, but he also wanted to break your shields.

He knows about your insecurities and he identifies with you, so he tries to learn, so he can teach you.

He always starts with small gestures of affection, to show you that you can be comfortable with him because he will not hurt you, quite the contrary, he just wants to make you safe.

And he could spend hours just feeling your touch, he enjoys every second of it.

When you go somewhere with a lot of people, he always stands by your side holding your hand.

If he sees that you are tense or nervous, he will kiss your temple and pull you somewhere more isolated and will start talking about random things with you to try to make you forget your fear.

Whenever you start talking, all of his attention goes to you, it's like he's mesmerized every time you open your mouth.

Sometimes the two of you are talking as if you are in your own world, forgetting everything around you.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Deku

Deku never misses an opportunity to show you affection, so he will always have a hand on you, stroking your hair, or holding your hand.

He does everything possible and impossible to make you feel comfortable with him, and if you don't, he doesn't give up trying. Because he wants to help you and he wants to show you how much he loves you.

If you are with a lot of people, he always praises you in front of everyone.

"Y / n is the best hero I have ever seen, they are amazing!"

When you start to say something, he just looks at you with shining eyes and a smile on his face, silently saying that all of his attention is on you.

He always has an arm around you, showing you that you are safe with him.

If you are not feeling well, he will understand and will quickly go somewhere calmer with you.

He caresses your face with affection while you say everything you want.

Deku will do anything to make you feel good and safe in his arms.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Kirishima

Kirishima is always the first to show affection, because he wants to show you that he loves you and that you are safe with him.

He knows about your insecurity and your problems, and he is more than ready to help you with that.

If you start showing affection for him and just stop, he'll be sad and have a cute pout on his lips as he snuggles up to you like a child.

‘’ Please continue ’’ he whispers against your neck as he hugs you tight.

If you are somewhere with a lot of people, he will always be on your side, like always.

Just one look from you and he already knows what you need or how you are feeling.

He takes your hand carefully and takes you to a quieter place.

He hugs you and shows you random things from the street to distract you, he makes some silly jokes too.

You are his world, and he will do anything so that you can smile without fear.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Todoroki

Todoroki is not much to show affection, but for you he tries.

He wants to show you that you are safe with him, that you are at home with him.

So it is through small gestures that he does this, but they are gestures so pure and unique that I cannot explain.

Anyway, Todoroki is very quiet so he will not say anything if you show affection to him, but he will complain if you stop.

When you are somewhere with a lot of people, he is always looking at you to see if everything is okay.

If not, he'll take you somewhere quiet so he can talk to you peacefully.

He caresses your face while talking to you, about anything you want.

He tries to distract you by saying silly things about his week.

And just seeing your smile makes Todoroki's day complete.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Denki

Denki shows affection for you 24/7 after he finds out about your insecurity.

He always wants to know if you're feeling comfortable and well, it's literally all the time.

When you show affection for him, he goes crazy because he never wants you to stop, it's like a drug that he got addicted to.

And if you stop showing affection, this drama queen will cry a lot and will only stop when you show affection for him again.

Anyway, if you are somewhere with a lot of people, Denki always tries to distract you from your bad thoughts.

Honestly Denki is professional at making you laugh

But if you want to leave, he will understand perfectly and will go somewhere empty with you.

He kisses you, hugs you and says cute things to you

Like I said, he always wants to make you comfortable and safe because you are his world, and he will never let anything hurt you.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Tamaki

It is very difficult for Tamaki to show affection, but for you he tries anything.

So it starts with small things that you fall in love with more every day.

When you show affection for him for the first time, he melts at your touch.

And through small gestures, he will ask you to continue.

Well, I guess you don't have to worry about going out to places with a lot of people because your boyfriend doesn't like to go out either.

But if you go out, you stay further away from people, isolating yourself in your own little world.

Tamaki always looks to you to make sure you are okay, and if you are sad he will be desperate and will do anything to make you feel good.

Then he will take you home and hug you and caress you as if you are the most precious thing in the world. (because you are, I don't make the rules)

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Shinsou

It would take a while for Shinsou to be able to open up to you, but when he does, he never stops.

He loves to kiss you and say cute things to you

And when he manages to make you comfortable with him, he feels the greatest happiness in his life.

He could spend the rest of his life just feeling your touch.

If you feel uncomfortable with a lot of people, he will talk to you about random things to distract you.

Or else he will take you home and take care of you like a baby.

So get ready to see the best side of Shinsou.

He will show all his love for you in every way possible, he is completely in love with you and that will never change.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Mirio

Mirio is CEO in showing affection for you and making you laugh

Your feelings are his number one priority, so he does everything for you

He shows affection for you 24/7

And he almost cries when he can make you feel comfortable with him

If you are uncomfortable when you are with a lot of people, he will be very worried and will take you somewhere calmer.

He will hug you, tell you random and funny things to cheer you up.

And when you smile at him, he feels his heart melt in your chest, because your smile is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his life, and he will fight until the last second so that you never stop smiling.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Hawks

Hawks are a needy baby so get ready because he will fill you with love.

You are his priority, so he will always ensure that you are well and comfortable

No matter how long it takes, he will do anything to make you feel safe with him.

And when that happens, he is so proud of you (and himself)

And he shows even more affection, so good luck

Anyway, when you go out, he always has a hand on you, whether it's around your shoulder, your waist or holding your hand.

When you feel uncomfortable, he stops everything he is doing and comes to you, wrapping his wings around you while he strokes your cheek.

He takes you home and lets you say whatever you want while he hugs you and caresses your body.

He wraps his wings around you again, making you feel safe in your own little world.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Dabi

Dabi is not the kind of person who shows affection, but after he discovers your insecurity, he will do his best to make you feel loved by him.

He does not say, of course. He prefers to make small gestures that make your heart race

He will never admit it, but the greatest happiness of his life was when he managed to make you feel comfortable with him.

He loves your touch and he could spend eternity just feeling it.

You rarely go out, but when that happens, he always makes sure that you're okay.

He's always looking at you, and just one look from you and he already understands what's going on.

He caresses your cheek and kisses your lips before taking you home.

He hugs you and strokes your back.

He won't talk about what you're feeling because he doesn't want you to remember, so he'll talk about random things from his day, hoping that you feel better in his arms.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Shigaraki

Shigaraki is like you, he wants so much to be able to show affection for you, but he is afraid.

But then he tries, with small gestures that you barely notice at first, but then it becomes something constant between you.

It takes a while for Shigaraki to feel comfortable with you, but when he does, he will be on your side 24/7

And trust me, he will do anything to make you feel comfortable and safe with him. Because you are his home, and he wants it to be yours too.

When you go somewhere with a lot of people, Shigaraki doesn't leave your side for even a second.

If you feel uncomfortable or something, he will go out with you in the same second, taking you somewhere calm and peaceful.

He hugs you, kisses your forehead and strokes your back.

Shigaraki would destroy the world to protect his home.

»»————-　★　————-««

[equizona]

Hiii!! How are you? I hope you are doing great💕✨

I wanted to request headcanons for the bros having a normal dinner at the HoL until Mc who used to have really long hair shows up with a self-cuted bob, you can tell they cutted it by themselves but it’s still cute. When the bros asked about it they responded that they were having a really bad day and they cut their hair as an alternative to self harm.

If you feel uncomfortable you can skip the self harm part! I understand! I was just having a bad day and I decided to cut my hair for the same reasons and my Mamá didn’t take it really nicely, and idk i guess I just want comfort. Thank you I love your writing and again, I hope you have a nice day💕💕✨✨

Scenario: cutting your hair as an alternative to self harm

Note: Hello there! First, I wanna say how proud I am of you, even if I don't know you. The fact you cut your hair instead of cutting is amazing and I am so proud of you. I hope you continue to stay strong, and I'm sorry this took so long! Feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to. [P.S: I did change the request up but it's mostly the same!]

Fandom: Obey Me!

Character's: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor.

Reader: Kinda G-N! But also has hints that you're most likely a female in this.

Warnings: self harm mentions?

He's very confused.

He does NOT remember you ever leaving the house of lamentation, and your hair was still long earlier this morning.

What happened?

He'll ignore it though.

He'll give you compliments about your hair, and he'll be surprised when you say you cut it on your own.

Tells you that you have talent.

After dinner, he'll ask for you to meet up with him in his office.

He'll immediately ask you why you cut your hair.

Was something wrong? Did you simply want a change? Are you sure you won't regret it? He could find you someone who could grow your hair back out for you if you did?

When you tell him you did that instead of self cutting he's... uncertain on how to feel.

Firstly, he is EXTREMELY proud of you for deciding to do that rather than cut yourself.

He's also a bit disappointed in himself that he didn't notice.

He'll pull you in for a hug, and tell him how proud he is of you for doing that. And how lovely your hair looks short.

He'll tell you to talk to him if you ever feel that you need to cut, and you don't have any other option.

Or if you are simply sad.

He'll get you a therapist if you don't want to speak to him or his brothers.

He'll do almost anything so that you can feel better.

Won't get you knives or things that you can hurt yourself with, but anything else is fair game.

Shocked because why???

Your hair was so nice, and silky! And he loved running his fingers through it and making different hairstyles and all that fun stuff.

He's kinda sad.

But also, you look really good with that hair style?

And you did it on your own?

....ever thought about opening a hair salon? People would pay so much if you had that much talent and skill.

Now, Mammon is most likely the one that is the best on emotions of ALL his brothers.

He can tell when you're not feeling yourself, and it's only like 100 times stronger thanks to the pact you both have.

He'll talk to you when you're both cuddled up in your room, asking you what happened.

When you tell him he'll put the mask he usually has on down and let you know how amazing you are and how proud he is.

Will offer to speak to Lucifer about getting you a therapist, if you'd like.

It won't matter if this is a common way you feel, it only happens once or twice or this only happened once.

He'll do anything you ask of him.

'Cause he loves you more than even money.

Kinda jealous because he' never be able to look good with a hairstyle like that.

And then you're just like

"Oh, I cut it myself."

And he just shirt circuts.

You can cut hair? And even more importantly, your own hair!?!?!?!??!?!

That's so cool!

Why did you never tell him?

At least he's happy that it doesn't seem like any of the others knew about it either.

Now, I honestly feel like Levi's bad thoughts about himself has led him down the path of self harm.

He's surpsingly strong willed, and almost always manages to catch himself and do something else.

And he recognizes what you did as a common thing to do instead.

Asks just to be sure.

And when you tell him that yes, that was why you did it, he's heartbroken.

You don't deserve feelings like that. Actually, you deserve everything good and only the good.

He'll be a lot nicer, doing his best to give you compliments on the new hairstyle and telling you how proud he is.

Mainly fails, but it's okay.

He's trying, and he'll try his best for you to be happy.

<3<3<3<3<3

This man feeds off of anger, so if you did it in a fit of rage or anger, no matter small, he's there in a second to ask how you're doing.

If not? He won't notice. It's only anger he can feel, much to his dismay.

He'll have troubles connecting the dots at first, and will only be handing you out compliments next to Asmo.

Then it hits him that it might be more to it, considering how you're acting.

He'll wait until after dinner and claim you have to help him with something.

Get's really angry when you tell him why you did it.

Not at you though, never at you. At himself, and lucifer, at everything.

He won't keep it up long though, calming down really quickly.

He'll ask you to sit down and read with him, or he'll read to you. Or you can do something on your D.D.D while he reads.

Whatever you want.

Hell, he might decide to let you drag him out somewhere.

Whatever it takes to make you feel even a tiny bit better.

Immediately gushing about how amazing you look with the new hairstyle.

He wants to know where you cut it in the first ten seconds he sees you.

Super shocked when he finds out you did it on your own.

Will ask you to trim his hair sometime.

To be fair, he's no stranger to doing things about his appearance in a fit of strong emotion.

Something Lucifer isn't always the happiest about.

He won't point it out though, if you want to talk, you know he's there.

He drops hints like that, just to be sure.

If you do tell him the reason, he'll immediately pull you in for a hug and shower you in compliments.

Not only on your appearance, but on how amazing you did to cut your hair instead of cutting your skin.

Self care day

He'll push away any of his brothers, doing his best to make you feel the most confident you have ever felt in your own body

Also, he'll make sure you know he's there for you and offer to get a therapist if you'd like one

When it starts to get late he'll put on a movie in the background and cuddle you💞💞💞

He thinks you look great with the new hairstyle!

You looked amazing before as well, but you also look amazing now!

Honestly, he kinda forgets about it during the dinner, a hair cut doesn't change who you are and you're still his very best friend and love of his life

He'll do his normal "get up at 12am and drag you for midnight snacks."

And if you tell him, he'll drop his food and pull you in for a hug

He doesn't say much, but offers you his food.

Whenever he's sad, food makes him feel better, so he does what he knows and hopes it'll share you up too

He'll also be willing to do anything you ask

Want him to carry you? Hug you? Cuddles? Want him to talk to lucifer for you? Want to vent? Want to cry?

He's there for you

Honestly, I doubt he even notices.

He's to busy sleeping to care.

When he DOES notice it's when he drags you down to sleep and tries nuzzling his face into your long hair-

Wait it's gone?

He'll get kinda pissy, 'cause he liked your long hair, but then he noticed it's still super soft and just goes back to sleep

He won't even bring up the possibility that you did it as an alternative to self harm

It crossed his mind but he refuses to believe it

If you tell him, he'll react kinda negatively, and won't talk to you

For like 30 minutes max

Most likely only for like 5 minutes though

He'll realize that he should be there for you

Isn't sure what to do, so he just kinda cuddles you and apologies for how he reacted

He's very lazy put he puts in an extra effort to tell you how proud he is

Because cutting your hair is way better than hurting yourself and you did super good doing the hair cutting instead

He'll let his brothers help you during the day, and have you cuddle with him at night so he can make sure you have the best dreams

I'd say he's horrible at it, but the effort is actually pretty obvious and he makes sure you're guarded in the night

He tries

His best

And it works to some degree

<3

[one-boring-person]

Hey!

I was wondering if I could request a Rambo x reader set in the first movie, if that’s alright, where the reader sees him walking through town and knows that Sheriff Teasle will try to bully him out of town so she pulls over and lies about them being old friends and then they go to eat or something? And the reader actually treats Rambo like a human being and thanks him for his service to his country when she finds out he is a veteran. Oh and could the reader be female please? Thank you very much! If not then that’s totally fine 😊

And I also wanted to say that your writing is amazing!!! And the reason I ended up watching Rambo in the first place 😆

Hope you have a great night/day!

Nfhfhhhf thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my stuff! And I got you into Rambo? Hell yeah!😂 I liked this request a lot, so I hope I've done it justice!

Respect Me.

John Rambo (First Blood) x reader

Warnings: mentions of war, mentions if death

Masterlist

For once, the truck sound system seems to be playing the tape flawlessly, lacking the usual stuttering and skipping it generally likes to include in the soft flow of music. Idly, I tap my fingers along with the gentle beat, the steering wheel moving easily in my grip as I guide the beaten pick-up truck out onto the main road, falling in line with the other traffic around me. The vehicle shudders a little as I change the gears, the old truck having never liked to do anything it should do, slowly moving into a more sustainable pace as I lean back in my seat, keeping my eyes trained on the road, with a half-eye kept on the sidewalk and nearby shops. A few Christmas decorations adorn the homely stores, though it's mostly left dull and bleak, as this town always has been. Once again, I find myself wishing I could just move away from here, start a new life somewhere else. 

Ahead of me, the traffic slows, allowing someone to turn into the main flow, giving me the time to glance out of the window, scanning the sidewalk a little way away. Oddly, a familiar police vehicle has pulled up just past a nearby junction, the driver leaning out of the window to talk to someone on the pavement, who I have yet to be able to see. The car is Sheriff Teasle's, the knowledge of which does not sit well with me - If he's pulled someone over, it's not for a good reason.

Checking my mirrors, I indicate off towards the sheriff, leaving the main flow as I follow the curb round, finally able to see who Teasle is talking to. Just as I feared, it looks as if he's pulled up a random person for yet another unfair interrogation. Frowning, I regard the solemn-looking man with interest, trying to ignore the part of me that finds his somewhat crooked features incredibly attractive, taking note of his obvious vagrancy: his hair is long and shaggy, clearly being left uncut for months on end, his dust-strewn parka and faded jeans showing signs of constant wear. From what I can see, Teasle is questioning him, most likely about the guy's purpose in Hope, though he doesn't seem particularly open to this encounter. Making up my mind, I cross my fingers and hope my plan now works.

Pulling up beside the two, I stop the car and climb out, plastering on a convincing grin as I go towards the dark-haired man, greeting him as I go.

"John! I didn't realise you were in town! You should've said something!" I exclaim, pleading the man with my eyes that he'll play along, though it's somewhat unlikely.

He gives me a shocked look, head snapping round at the sound of the name, hard eyes fixing on me with suspicion and hostility, the severity of the expression sending a shudder down my spine. Teasle also looks to me, frowning.

"And to think you were left to walk along here in the cold! Jeez, you really should have called or something, I could've picked you up!" I carry on, praying that he picks up the cue, "Oh, hello there, Sheriff, how are you?"

"Not bad, thanks." Teasle replies tightly, glancing between the man and I, "You know this guy?"

"Oh, yeah. John is a family friend." I lie, smiling brightly at the man in question.

"Yeah, it's been a long while, but I thought it was time to visit again." The man finally chips in, his husky voice stirring up butterflies in my stomach, "Wanted to keep my visit a surprise, though."

"Ah, well! You're here now, at least I can give you a lift back to mine." I offer him, ignoring Teasle's sceptical look.

Giving me a taut smile, which looks more like a grimace, the man steps towards me, shooting the Sheriff a glance as he goes. Doing the same, I smile pleasantly at Teasle, and say my goodbyes, climbing back into my car as my new passenger joins me, sliding cautiously into the seat beside me. Quickly, I pull back out into the traffic, heading away from Teasle as swiftly as possible. 

"Thank you for doing that." The dark-haired man murmurs after a moment, his hands clenching around his knees as he forces himself to look out of the windscreen. 

"No problem. Teasle's an ass at the best of times, best just to stay away from him." I muse, "Do you want something to eat? There's a good place just down the road from here." 

Turning to face me, the man frowns and watches my face, as if for signs of deceit, his quiet nature giving me the impression that he's probably quite acclimatised to being treated as such. 

"How do you know my name?" He eventually asks, voice quiet.

Now it's my turn to frown as I glance across at him.

"I don't." 

"You called me John earlier. How did you know that's my name?" 

Surprised, I double take, now realising how sketchy that must look.

"Your name is John? I had no idea! That's a lucky coincidence, clears up confusion later." I chuckle dryly, "Honestly, I picked the first name that came to mind. I had no idea that it's your actual name."

He watches me for a second longer, eventually appearing happy with my response, looking away again.

"What's your name?" He asks me after a further minute.

"Me? I'm (Y/n). (Y/n) (Y/l/n)."

"John Rambo." John nods, flicking some hair from his face, "And if you're still offering, I'd like to get something to eat, please."

"Of course." 

Pulling up to the diner, I park the car, climbing out as I check the cash I have on me, deeming it enough for two decent meals and some drinks, hoping that it won't be too busy at this time of the day. John follows me, leaving his bedroll in the car as we walk into the small restaurant, finding a seat at one of the window booths, sitting opposite each other. He's quiet, scanning the room as soon as he's sat down, body stiff as he unzips his parka, revealing a red woolen jumper underneath. What strikes me most, however, (apart from the obvious planes of rippling muscle) are the silver dog tags hanging around his neck, jingling every so often as he moves. 

A waiter comes over to us, handing us menus with a false smile, leaving us alone together again until we've ordered drinks, at which point he returns with the beverages. Stepping away again, John and I are left with some privacy. At this moment, I take a breath and ask him the one question on my mind.

"If you don't mind me asking, are you a soldier?" 

John visibly stiffens, eyes hardening a little.

"I was." Is all he says, tone flat.

"Did you serve in Vietnam?" I ask, unable to stop myself as my curiosity gets the better of me.

Once again, John seems reluctant to answer, and instantly starts to glance around, clearly watching for an escape route.

"Yeah." He affirms, gaze returning to me.

Shock fills me at this: I'd heard horrible things about the Vietnam War, about how the soldiers (on both sides) faced terrifying situations that I'd never dream of, my heart stuttering at this admonition. 

"Really? That's...wow, that's…" I go to say something, finding myself speechless as I stare at the man before me, admiring him now in a totally new light, "God, you must be a strong person."

He blinks.

"Huh?"

"Well, you've done what I'd never be able to do, you've faced deadly situations, you've probably been in harrowing conditions and fights, I'd never have the strength to do what you did. Very few people do, so you must be a very strong person, mentally." I tell him, still in shock, "You definitely did the country proud, and I respect you for everything you've done. Thank you for that."

He stares at me in shock, eyes wide, lips parted.

"You...What?" Is all he manages, voice hitching.

"I respect you, and admire your bravery. You're a better person than any of the rest of us ever could be." I repeat, smiling gently at him.

For a long moment, he doesn't say anything, his expression remaining as it is, his body tense as he processes what I've said, clearly not quite believing me.

"You...respect me?" He stammers, quietly.

"I do." I nod, taking a sip of my soda.

"Thank you." John murmurs, pulling a face as he looks away, "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what kinda things I've done."

"What you did isn't relevant to me, only that you served the country, and you did it with bravery, so for that, you have my respect." I reassure him, telling him the truth. 

John stays silent this time, apparently too overcome for words.

"Do you...do you need somewhere to stay?" I finally break the silence that has descended on us, tapping a rhythm out onto the table.

"No, but I don't want to inconvenience you any more than I already have, so don't worry about it. I'll figure something out." The veteran shrugs, still a little taken aback.

"You're not inconveniencing me, I wouldn't ask if you were. I have space in my house if you want to take it." I offer him, once again smiling across at him. 

For the first time, John smiles at me, his features loosening as the expression crosses his face.

"I'll take it."

[buckyownsmylife]

Replaying - Jake Gyllenhaal/Reader (ft. Tom Holland) smut

The one where you share a night with Jake after Tom admits one of his kinks to you.

Warnings: cuckoldery, reader doesn’t think jake would respect her lack of consent, but she doesn’t actually safeword, so kinda dubcon?, you decide, definitely rough, use of the word whore, forced orgasms at some point, talk of anal

A/N: this is an one-shot depicting what happened between the reader and Jake like she told Tom about in in my fic “Do it”. I’d been meaning to write it ever since that first one came out, but a request gave me the push I needed to actually get this out. I’m very proud of this one.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

My heart was pounding against my chest as I made my way to Jake’s front door, hesitation for a bit before knocking. You’re doing this for Tom, you reminded yourself. He wants this. You’re not doing anything wrong. 

And as much as I kept repeating that to myself, those few seconds that took before Jake welcomed me into his home made me second guess everything, from what I was wearing to the strength of my relationship with my boyfriend. 

And God, I hated it. I hated it because I loved Tom, with every fiber of my being. I would never cheat on him, and I would never come close to doing anything like this if it weren’t for his admission of his own desires.

But now that it was here, out in the open, and *I was here, naked under Jake’s burning stare, I couldn’t deny that I wanted this. Fuck, I wanted this. And I was terrified of this feeling, terrified of what it could mean for my future with Tom.

I was going to do this, though. There was no doubt about it.

I thought Jake would try to ease me into this, offer me a glass of wine to settle my nerves or whatever, but the second his eyes met mine after they ran over my body, he pounced. “Fuck, I’ve been wanting you for so long.”

I moaned against his mouth as he dragged me through his house, his hands making quick work of my dress before manhandling me over his shoulder. The pure show of strength and animalistic behavior was enough to have me creaming my pants, and he must have noticed, if his chuckle was any indication.

“You’re such a horny little girl, aren’t you, sweetheart? There’s no way Tom knows how to treat you the way that you need to be treated. But that’s alright. I’m here now, and I’m gonna take good care of you.” As soon as he had me on the bed, he was all over me again, sucking bruises and leaving bite marks all over my skin. It was clear that he was the possessive type, and the fact that I was actually Tom’s didn’t really mean anything to him.

Little by little, he sucked a trail of lovebites from my neck, to my stomach, going over my chest, until he reached my underwear, where he finally stopped to look up at me. “I can’t wait to taste this little pussy.” In a second, I was completely nude before his eyes, and he rose to his feet to stare down at me, most likely reveling in the marks he had left me with.

The intensity of his gaze was so powerful that it intimidated me, forcing me to remember just exactly what I was doing, instead of simply losing myself in the moment, like I’d managed to do when I actually had his touch on me. So before I could even realize it, I was covering myself up, crossing my legs so he couldn’t really see the parts of me that he was interested in right now.

I don’t think Jake liked that. He raised an eyebrow, a hand covering the enormous bulge that had me salivating, probably in an effort to get some relief to his hardness, before he threatened, “Be a good girl and spread your legs for me, or you won’t like what I’ll do next. Tom has spoken so highly of you, I don’t think you want to disappoint me.”

I hesitated for a bit, but something in his eyes warned me not to get on his bad side. However, it seemed like I wasn’t quick enough to satisfy his wishes, because he pulled me by ankle to the edge of the bed, before turning me around until my head was hanging off of it.

“Fine. I know you want to be fucked like a whore anyway.” Without any sort of prelude whatsoever, he grabbed my cheeks, burying his fingers in the flesh to force me to pucker my lips, before feeding me his cock with his other hand. “Here, suck on this. I really want to hear you gagging around my cock.”

And that was all the preamble I got before he suffocated me with his dick, cutting off my breathing as he thrusted roughly in and out of my throat, directly. In no time at all, I was a mess of tears and spit, and while I was sure that the image couldn’t be all that attractive, still Jake didn’t seem to mind at all.

Jake’s P.O.V.

I don’t think I’d ever been this hard in my entire life. It meant that I was barely hanging on to my already diminished control, but who could really blame me when I had this fucking woman for me to do as I pleased?

When I finally pulled away to let her catch her breath, she coughed and sputtered desperately, hands trying to hold my hips so I would give her more time to breathe. “Please,” she babbled, voice hoarse and fucked out, immediately provoking a smug smirk to rise on my lips. “Please, be more gentle.”

I had to coo at how cute she was. Holding her hair back so I could run a single finger across her face, I buried it on her lips like I’d done with my cock before leaning over to remind her, “You’re mine tonight, princess. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want to you.” And then I pried her lips open, spitting in them before filling her mouth with my cock once more.

“Damn, all those times I thought about bending you over a table and fucking you right in front of your boyfriend, I have to say… I’m not even in your pussy yet and you’re already much better than I imagined.” I thrust in and out of her mouth a couple more times, relishing in the choking and the tears until I could feel my balls threatening to release inside of her warm mouth, and that simply wouldn’t do. The only place I’d be cumming tonight would be inside of her pussy.

So I allowed her some time to recollect as I slowly rounded the bed until I was standing in front of her pussy. “You know, you had a much harder time taking my cock in your mouth than I expected you to. I didn’t take Tom for having such a tiny cock.”

Even if I was exaggerating, I could see by the guilty look on her face that he was significantly smaller than me. It only added up to make me feel even hornier, that much more determined to give her the pounding of a lifetime.

“You did a good job sucking my cock, sweetheart. Now let me see this pussy.” Kneeling in front of my bed, I pulled her by her ankle so her legs were dangling off of it before I positioned her feet on the mattress, spreading her open to me. “Fuck yes. This is a pretty pussy.”

I was almost clinical in my exploration of her hole, starting by slowly running my fingers up and down her lips, making sure to spread her juices all over them before spitting on her cunt and spreading that all over the perfect sight. 

“Hmm, yes… You look delicious.” I leaned down to give both me and her a little teasing taste by very quickly running my tongue on her clit, but immediately had to come back for seconds.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Damn, you’re sweet.” I didn’t know what to do, it was impossible to figure out a way to behave properly while Jake fucking Gyllenhaal was lapping my pussy like it was his last meal on Earth. Every moan that escaped my lips felt like a betrayal to Tom, even though it didn’t make any sense.

“Stop that.” The man that right now seemed more animal than human called my attention with a loud slap over my weeping cunt, breaking the dam with which I had tried to contain my sounds of pleasure. “I want to know just how thoroughly I’m ruining you.”

I’d never make it out of here alive, I thought. At the very least, I knew I wouldn’t leave this bedroom the same woman I’d been once I stepped inside of it, but instead of fear, all I felt was the familiar rising wave of pleasure and the unknown curiosity of knowing more about this new version of me. The one that knew what it felt like to be touched by my boyfriend’s best friend.

A single finger penetrated me, the same systematic approach of exploration was applied as Jake slowly and carefully got to know my insides, looking for what made me tick and what helped him in his task to destroy me. When I clenched around his digit, I felt his grin against my pussy, his smugness at having found that sweet spot that was once only reserved for Tom and Tom only.

“Wanna see you cum now, pretty baby,” he teased, the vibrations of his words only adding to the efficacy of his plan. “Cum all over my fingers, angel. Want to see you breaking apart for me.”

The use of such sweet nicknames when I already knew he was nothing but a rough lover only added to the fire that had been lit in the pit of my stomach. The feeling of being powerless, abandoned in the hands of a man who didn’t seem to know mercy was what brought me to my first orgasm of the night. Flashbacks to just how out of breath I’d been only minutes before, the panic when I realized he wouldn’t pull back. For a moment,  I honestly didn’t know if he would respect my use of the safeword he and Tom had agreed upon beforehand, and that was the thought that brought me to a messy, relieving release.

“There you go. So sweet and wet, you dirty, dirty girl.” I knew I tried to respond and it only came out in some sort of broken sound, but I didn’t recognize it as a whine until I felt another slap over my pussy, startling me.

“Don’t whine,” he ordered, and I could see that dangerous glint in his eye that electrified to my very core. “Whiny babies get punished, angel. Do you want to be punished?” As much as the very thought of what Jake could have in store for me had my pussy clenching, I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it, at least not tonight, not after the amount of anticipation that I’d built even before I walked into his house.

Jake’s P.O.V.

I smiled as she shook her head emphatically, arms and legs wrapping around my body as she tried to cling to me, stopping me from performing what she thought I intended to do. “No, no, please. I-I need you.”

Shit. Hearing her admit her desire for me had my cock twitching, precum undoubtedly starting to drip from the throbbing head. Still, I had enough control left in me to remember that I needed to prepare her first. I needed her to be ready for me, so I could truly give her the pleasure that she deserved.

“Not yet, sweetheart.” I forced another finger inside of her, groaning to myself at just how tight she felt, wanting to stretch her open with my cock, feel her struggling to take it, but knowing it wouldn’t be right. She hadn’t agreed to be mine, she wasn’t prepared to deal with everything I was as a lover.

“I need to open you up for me, yeah?” I was breathing hard, trying to restrain myself as I watched her pussy swallow my fingers eagerly, releasing more and more of her sweetness to help ease the stretch. “Have to make you cum again, baby. Can you do that for me?”

The sight of her shaking her head had anger rousing inside of me. Here I was struggling to make this easy on her, and she just couldn’t help me on that gradually more and more herculean task.

“Oh, but you are going to do just that. And you’re going to like it, *angel.” Deciding that the best way to get through this torture was to get her to cum quickly, with the added bonus that it would serve as a punishment too, I started to fuck her with my fingers faster and faster, making sure to curve my digits just right so I would hit that particular spot every damn time.

“Yes, see? This is what you get for misbehaving. You’re gonna cum all over my fingers, and you’re gonna pay for each damn time you made me want to have my cock inside this pretty little pussy and had to resort to fuck some other woman instead. “C’mon. You can’t pretend you don’t want to cum and keep moaning like a whore. Cum right now,” I urged her orgasm until I felt it, her channel clenching around my fingers and making me groan again.

I didn’t stop moving them though, instead opting to squeeze a third one, so I could finally have my cock inside of her in only a few seconds. “P-Please,” she started begging, tiny hands circling my wrist in an effort to pry me away from her, and I had to coo at how adorable she was.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You can handle one more. C’mon. It’ll be so worth it when I finally get my cock inside of you. I’m only doing this to help open you up, baby.” She was sobbing now, pretty body twisting and trying to get away from the pleasure that was clearly becoming too much for her.

Leaning down to cover her body with mine, I nibbled on her jaw before licking her slightly open lips. “Kiss me, Y/N. It’ll help distract you. Kiss me.” I probably didn’t need to repeat it, because as soon as I finished breathing out the words, her lips were on mine, hands losing themselves in my locks in an effort to leave me be inside of her pussy.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I immersed myself in his kiss, desperate to find something to distract me from the incessant dragging of his fingers against my walls, the squelching sounds of my sopping wetness simultaneously embarrassing and arousing me. Damn him and his sexual appeal. It didn’t take him long at all to have me trembling because of his three fingers, desperate to cum yet again.

“See? I knew you could handle it.” There was a smug smirk on his face that I wanted to wipe, but the only way I could do that now was by kissing him again. I had no idea how he knew my body that well, despite never having touched it again. Not even I believed I was able to cum another time, and still, here I was eager to finally have his member inside of me.

At long last, his fingers came out, being promptly wrapped by his beautiful lips before he looked down at me with that same stupid smirk. “Are you ready, pretty girl?” I could only nod, watching enraptured as he slowly jerked off to the sight of my already ruined body, but I should have known that wouldn’t be enough.

“Say it,” he ordered, knowing fully well exactly how wrecked I was. “Say you want my cock inside of your pretty little pussy.” I stopped a whine just before it managed to erupt from my chest, panting wildly as I stared up at this dark angel that looked so determined to destroy me for anyone else.

“I want you inside of me,” I murmured, instantly knowing it still wouldn’t be enough. He was rubbing the head of his member over my dripping lower lips, and at the sound of my compliance, a slap echoed around the room, leaving my thigh tingling - surely with a hand-shaped bruise behind.

“Louder.” My cunted pulsed with the need to be filled, so much so that it didn’t take any time at all to get me to repeat the same words I’d just uttered, in a louder, much more desperate tone. My reward was immediate. Jake filled me slowly but surely, only stopping once he had completely bottomed out inside of me, and I had to focus on my own breathing or I was sure I’d forget to inhale and exhale as I struggled to accept his cock in my already stretched out hole. 

He was right. I would never have been able to take his cock if he hadn’t taken the time to ease me, opening me up with his fingers. The comparison was *right there, it was impossible to ignore. Still, I tried to distract myself, focusing instead on the feeling of Jake’s beard as he nibbled on my jaw, waiting for me to adjust to him.

“So many times you teased me, with those short pretty dresses and cute little smiles, and now I finally have you right here where I want you.” He hid his head on the crook of my neck, just the way Tom usually did, and instinctively, I laced my fingers over some of his locks, just like I usually did with my boyfriend. “You know what, angel? I think I might just keep you.”

I couldn’t really focus on what he was saying, and I knew it wouldn’t do me any good either. There was some comfort in thinking that he only wanted me for my body, that’s what I knew and that’s what I wanted to focus on.

At the first snap of his hips, a whimper escaped my lips, still unable to relax so it wouldn’t hurt. Jake only chuckled, brushing away a few strands of untamed hair that covered my face before kissing my lips briefly. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m gonna fuck the pain away, you’ll see.”

Regardless of the discomfort, I savored each and every thrust of his member inside my walls, holding tightly to his shoulders as I prayed - for what, I had no idea. I wanted this to be over just as much as I wanted to cherish every second of it, if only for the memories I’d get to recount to my boyfriend when it was all over.

Almost as if he was reading my mind, Jake spoke on that moment, “Wouldn’t it be hot if Tom was here to watch me fucking you?” That was a thought my brain could process, and it made me come that much closer to cumming all around Jake’s cock. “I bet you wanted him to be here, so he could see just how good I’m fucking you.”

A particular thrust of his hips had him finally hitting that spot that had me melting underneath him, releasing his shoulder in order to find hold in the tangled sheets of the bed. “God, I can’t believe he’d let you out of his sight for only a second, much less that he let me fuck you.”

His words were only murmurs pressed against my skin, accompanied by licks and bites all over the already bruised skin of my chest, but I heard every single word, questioning just how much kinker this man could get.

“I’d make you beg for my cock right in front of him, baby. I’d make you cry for it while he was watching, make you forget you even belong to him.” There was a pause then, when he finally looked up from my glistening skin, covered in his saliva, to meet my eyes. “I’m gonna do that now.” 

That was his warning as he picked up the pace, keeping eye contact that I desperately wanted to break, but found myself unable to. He was like a force field in himself. Magnetic, inescapable. When he said he would ruin my innocence for Tom, I had no doubts about it.

Each thrust of his hips revealed parts of myself I was unaware of before, parts I was unsure I wanted to recognize as being mine, anyway. And in the midst of this tug of war between head and heart, I was growing more desperate to cum with each passing second, suffocated by the weight of Jake’s body on top of me, his muscles locking me under his control.

When it was impossible to hold it in anymore, I expected to be able to bring him down into the depths of pleasure with me, but I should have known better. While I reveled in the aftershocks of yet another orgasm, body laying heavy and without response on the bed, he just groaned and kept fucking me, like he was would never be able to forgive himself if he wasn’t able to keep going.

“Swear to God… I’ve never had a better pussy in my entire life.” The filthiness of his words surprisingly added to the sensations of my own afterglow, making my pussy even wetter - and I knew he could feel it, especially by the growl that escaped his chest. “Yeah, you like knowing that, huh? You like knowing I’ve fucked a shit ton of women and still your pussy is the tightest, wettest, warmest pussy I’ve ever had.”

I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t feel as aroused by him comparing me to other women, or the thought of him with other women, but I did. Maybe it was because he wasn’t mine, and I knew he never would be. I was okay with that - Tom was all I wanted. But knowing that the memories of what we shared would haunt him way after he was thorough with me gave me some spiteful sense of pride, and I just couldn’t deny it.

“What about me, huh? What about my cock? Do you like it? Do you like the way it’s splitting you open, making you cream around me? Tell me, angel. Tell me how good I make you feel.”

Jake’s P.O.V.

I could see that the overstimulation was getting to her now, and she relented, telling me exactly what I longed to hear, probably in need to distract herself from how raw her pussy was feeling now.

“I-It feels s-so good…” I had to bite back a grin at the admission, knowing how much it cost her to let it out, but also aware that she needed to completely let go in order to fully enjoy this the way that she deserved to.

“Are you gonna tell him? How it felt to have my big cock inside of you? Are you gonna think about it while you fuck him?” The thought of Tom had her moaning more loudly, more easily close to letting go of the control she still held so tightly to her chest.

“Come here, sweetheart. I think it’s time you ride me.” I inverted our positions so that she was the one on top now, letting my body rest on the headboard so I could still keep a tight grip on her hips.

I was so fucking close, I craved to reach my high and I knew that she was aware of it. It was clear in the way I couldn’t let her do her job, instead fucking myself up against her, desperate to cum. And the sight of her breasts right in front of me only added to the fire in my lower belly, growls and groans escaping me the more I forced her to quicken her movements.

“I’m going to give you something…” I started right when I felt that delicious sensation taking over my body, spreading through every single part of me. “A gift so you can give to Tom.”

I could see that she was puzzled, but right then my orgasm hit me, making me spill ropes upon ropes of cum into her tight, delicious pussy. Surprisingly, the feeling had her sighing and curling up against me, like she knew that this meant we were through, and she could finally relax.

I chuckled, squeezing her ass as I milked my own orgasm, making sure every single drop was inside of her, before slapping one of the cheeks. “Keep it in,” I ordered, and I knew she was aware of what I was talking about. “He’ll love it. Just like you loved to take me in your pretty little hole. Didn’t you?”

Instead of answering, she just hid her head in the crook of my neck, making me chuckle loudly. How adorable. I’d just fucked her silly, and she still felt embarrassed about something so natural.

In the quiet of night, as I waited for both of our breathing patterns to come back to normal, I absentmindedly traced shapes against her back, thinking about how in a few minutes she’d be out the door and back in her boyfriend’s arms and I would go to sleep alone. Like I always did. And because my mind knew well enough that I wouldn’t handle being vulnerable in front of her, my hand ended up between the cheeks of her ass, right where I hadn’t had the chance to explore.

“Tell me, beautiful,” I broke the silence, kissing her shoulder to relax her when her muscles tensed after I circled her puckered hole. “Did he ever fuck this ass? I bet I could fill this little hole real good, too.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Just the thought of having him like that had me clenching around his member again. It wasn’t necessarily a scary thought - I was more afraid of how arousing the mental image got me, especially since I hadn’t had the chance to explore that with Tom just yet.

Before I had the chance to explain there was no way in hell I’d be losing my ass virginity to him, he laughed, slapping my butt lightly again, before clarifying, “Don’t worry, angel. I’m not going to overstep my welcome. Besides, it’d take too much time to get my dick inside of you, I’d never be able to stop myself from cumming too soon.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I opted to just nod before I managed to slowly gather my strength to finally climb down from his lap. I bit my lip to stifle the groan that threatened to erupt from my chest at the feeling of being so empty after being so thoroughly fucked, but the second I was away from him, his hand fell down on my ass once more, his face taken by a boyish grin when I turned around to stare at him.

“Maybe next time.” It took me a while to understand he was still referring to anal sex, and when I did, I felt my face burn at all the implications of that statement. “I trust you’ll think of me if you and Tom ever decide to open the relationship to embrace someone else in the mix.”

Now that was unexpected, and yet again, there was nothing I could say, so I just silently gathered my stuff - annoyingly conscious of the little souvenir he’d left me to carry with me back to the house - while he located some sweatpants and followed me downstairs. 

“Bye.” It felt weird saying just that to wrap up everything that had happened between us ever since I stepped foot into this house, only a few hours earlier, but what else was there to say? Of course, Jake had a different opinion, and that became clear with the parting words he left me to ponder as I sat alone, sore and dirty on the taxi ride back to my house.

“Goodbye, sweetheart. Rest assured, everytime your eye meets mine while we’re out in public, I’ll be thinking about how it felt to be balls deep into you. I hope you’ll be thinking about me too. Maybe then you won’t tease me so much.”

[lovely-ateez]

I’ll Be Home Soon~

ꕥPosted: 5/16/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Idol!Mingi

ꕥWord Count: 1.8k

ꕥWarnings: An overwhelming heaping of fluff

ꕥTag List: @nevieatiny @bobateastay

ꕥA/N: I know this is short but I wanted to write at least a little something for Mingi’s return. I’m just so proud of him and can’t wait to see him again ><

I sat on the couch as stiff as a board. At any minute my boyfriend would return home after being away for months. We kept in contact while he was gone, of course, but it wasn’t the same as seeing each other in person. Even after all this time, I still wasn’t accustomed to the cold bed or the lack of sticky notes he would leave me throughout the day, all saying some variation of I love you or good morning or you look beautiful today. It was always something simple, but they became so meaningful to me. Waking up without his warm smile never got easier, and every moment he was gone I thought of him. Our house wasn’t a home with only me.

I heard the faint jingling of keys and I scrambled to the door, about falling over in the process. The door opened to reveal my tall, lanky boyfriend. He was dressed casually, wearing a large white sweatshirt over black baggy pants. His brown hair was down, slightly covering his eyes. He wasn’t dressed up or wearing anything special, but in that moment he looked more handsome to me than he ever had before. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds since I laid my eyes upon him and my heart was already beating as rapidly as the first time I met him.

He smiled at me and opened his arms wide to embrace me in a tight hug. I jumped in his arms without thinking and felt tears beginning to run down my face.

“I can’t believe you’re home. I missed you so much.” I nuzzled into his warm chest.

His voice was deep and warm, enveloping me ten times over. “I’m home, baby. I’m home.”

We held each other tight, basking in the feeling of the other after being separated. It felt new, in some ways, but completely and totally familiar at the same time.

“I’m sorry I was gone for so long.” His voice was soft, as if he thought I might blame him.

I pulled back from his embrace, making eye contact. “Song Mingi don’t you dare apologize! Health always comes first and I’m so proud of you for recognizing that you needed a break.”

He gave a shy smile that I happily returned. Noticing the luggage that he was carrying, I picked up a few bags and ushered him in, setting the bags down once we were inside. He looked around our living room, smiling at its setup. On the main table I had placed his favorite snacks, a few presents, and an overwhelming number of envelopes.

Mingi quirked a brow and chuckled, obviously thankful but a bit confused, “What are the envelopes for and why are there so many?” 

I looked to the ground,feeling shy. “Every week that you were gone I wrote you a letter. I know we facetimed and everything but I thought it might be more personal through a letter. I tried to send them to you but your manager told me to keep them instead-”

Mingi set his luggage on the floor and once more hugged me, this time lifting me in the air and placing kisses all over my face. “You didn’t have to do this, babe.”

“Oh I know, but I wanted to. It’s the least you deserve.”

His eyes watered at my words and I gently cupped his face. “You deserve the world, my love.”

He set me back down and gave me a playful shove, “Stop that I’m gonna cry.”

I pouted, “I’m sorry I don’t mean to make you cry. I just love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby.”

I stood on my toes to press a kiss to his lips, which he returned. I felt him smile against my lips and the gesture made butterflies stir within me.

"So what do you wanna do, babe? We can stay here and watch a movie and relax if you want or-”

He laughed, “Honestly? I kinda want to go to the zoo. I don’t really know why, but I haven’t been in awhile and it just sounds fun.”

“Right now?”

“Hell yeah.”

I smiled at his childlike answer, expecting nothing less from my puppy-like boyfriend, “Alright, let’s go then! Oh-”

I felt a ball of fluff run past my ankles and up to Mingi. Both of us looked down to see our cat, Mao. Mingi smiled and picked her up, pleased to find her purring while he pet her.

“I missed you, too. Silly cat.”

“She’s been sleeping on your side of the bed since you left, so you’re probably gonna have to kick her out tonight.”

His eyes widened, “You replaced me?”

“No! I could never! She just decided to keep me company.”

A tight smile formed on Mingi’s face, “Sure, sure.”

I scoffed, “Are we going to the zoo or not?”

“Of course!” He set Mao down before moving his luggage into our bedroom. I picked up my purse and car keys as I saw him return to the living room and gave him another smile. We quickly said our goodbyes to Mao and locked the door, excited to spend more time with each other.

-

“So what’s your favorite zoo animal, Mingi?” I asked as we walked through the zoo with our fingers intertwined.

His eyebrows furrowed in thought, “I kinda like sun bears. Have you seen the memes about those things? How they look-”

“Like a person in a bear costume?” I finished his sentence and he giggled, nodding at me.

“I think they have those here, actually. We might have to find a map but I’m sure they’re around here somewhere.”

After asking around and wandering for half an hour, we finally found the sun bear enclosure...only to be met with empty land.

“Damn, are they really not here?” Mingi asked, looking dejected, “I thought they’d have at least one.”

Before I could reply a little girl ran up to the exhibit in front of us, her brown pigtails swaying with her quick movements. She pressed her small fingers to the glass, squinting to see any signs of the sun bears. Her bottom lip stuck out when all she saw was an empty exhibit and my heart lurched for the poor girl. Mingi and I watched as an attractive couple ran from the same direction as the little girl, their movements frantic until they saw her tiny figure.

“Migyung you can’t just run off like that, sweetheart.” The mother lightly scolded, sounding more concerned than angry.

The little girl turned around at the sound of her mom’s voice and frowned. “I’m sorry, mama. I just wanted to see the funny bears!”

The father crouched down to reach her height, “I know, just tell us next time, okay?”

Migyung nodded at her father’s words.

“And would you look at that?” The man smiled and pointed behind her, “Look who’s coming over to see you.”

The girl turned around and spotted a sun bear walking towards her. She let out a gasp, once more pressing her fingers to the glass. Her eyes filled with stars as she looked at the bear.

She laughed with excitement and bounced on her toes, “Daddy, mommy, look at him! He’s so fat!”

“We see him, sweetheart.” The father replied with a smile, even though the girl couldn’t see it. He looked over to his wife and placed an arm around her, kissing her cheek as they looked at their daughter fondly.

Mingi squeezed my hand, his attention no longer on the sun bear. He turned to me with love-filled eyes and whispered, “That’s gonna be us one day, you know?”

I bit my lip and felt warmth spread through my body. We’d talked about our future before, how we wanted kids and planned on getting married, but watching the scene before us and seeing the sincerity in his eyes, it made my heart feel like exploding.

“I’d really like that.”

We stood there for a bit longer before leaving to look at the other animals. The red pandas, in particular, caught Mingi’s attention, and I found myself quite fond of the baby rhinos, but we both agreed that the sun bear was our favorite.

-

Neither of us were entirely sure how we both ended up covered in flour on the floor of our kitchen, only that once the sun had began to set we left the zoo and came home with empty stomachs, then deciding to make breakfast food for dinner. Now we were both in fits of giggles as we struggled to sit upright, Mao’s strange looks at us somehow making the event even funnier.

“Maybe this wasn’t the best idea,” I laughed.

“I think this was a great idea,” Mingi said with a smile before grabbing a handful of flour and throwing it at me.

“Hey! You’re gonna pay for that!”

He stood and grabbed the bag of flour, raising a brow in challenge, “Oh yeah? Come and get me, babe.”

Against my better judgement I stood and ran towards him, throwing my body onto his and tackling him to the floor. As our bodies collided, the bag of flour flew out of his hands and I crawled over to the bag only to feel Mingi’s arms wrap around my legs and drag me back towards him.

“Noo! I’m so close!” I giggled, the bag barely a foot away.

“Not anymore, you aren’t.” He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me tight, preventing me from escape, “What are you gonna do now, huh?”

I tilted my head with a smile, “I’ll probably flirt with my captor until he falls for me and then I’ll run away with the flour.”

“Is that so?”

“It is.”

“Well, what if he’s already in love with you but won’t let you go?” Mingi shifted our bodies to where I was laying with my back on the floor, his own body hovering over mine but still very much keeping me in place, “What if he’s gonna keep you here with him? What do you think about that?”

My breath hitched as he looked down at me, his face slowly inching closer to mine. He had it too easy, really, with how quickly he could fluster me.

“I think you’re far too handsome for your own good.” I said barely louder than a whisper.

He let out a chuckle before kissing me, our lips moving in time with the other’s. My hands found his hair and I pulled him closer to me, my hunger long forgotten.

As I felt Mingi’s body against mine, I finally felt whole. It was hell, going without seeing him for so many months, but because of moments like these, I knew I’d gladly wait a hundred more if it meant I could just have one day with him.

[notactivehereanymorebye]

gradual progression of my stardew valley self insert (2019, 2020, 2021) general thoughts and information about him under the cut for anyone curious

it honestly makes me really happy to see my art progression because sometimes i feel like my art is sooo stagnant but seeing a drawing i used to be very proud of next to a newer one is kind of exhilarating like wait i’m actually improving? wow! also the reason the one in the middle looks kinda pooey even for my art skill at the time was because i was just rushing it in the interest of trying to Have it. exist. i was doign really well with lines that night which is rare for me so i was trying to get out as much as possible, but overall i didn’t put a lot of thought into the design. it just existed to exist.

the first drawing may have only been 2 years ago but feels so far away that looking at it makes me feel nostalgic. it wasn’t a great time in my life so i’m glad to be out of it, but like it’s nice to remember my Roots with shane and the first self ship plot i tried to lay out with him. i initially just stuck with a simple farmer plot but later last year decided actually i think that’s boring. just cuz stardew valley PROVIDES a self insert character doesn’t mean i have to take it. so my new one’s a doll designer who works remotely and moves to pelican town to find new inspiration and a quieter life. the only thing that has never really changed is i’ve always had my self insert date shane in high school and have kind of a messy breakup that they both still aren’t over, and so reconnecting years down the line everything just comes rushing back for both of them.

anyways, along with art improvement i’m also really proud of the way i’ve gotten better at designing appealing characters. the difficult thing with making a stardew valley self insert is that concernedape doesn’t have very good... character design sensibilities when it comes to actual fashion. all the outfits are very ugly, and with the middle one i was trying to channel that as much as possible and STILL failed so i kind of gave up with the last one. although, i do think it would fit okay enough. that being said, i did have to consciously make his design resemble Sophia as little as possible. considered doing a heart choker again and an off the shoulder top but went hm... that seems a little... familiar...... so i just went for something cute and preppy to juxtapose my self insert’s edgier high school fashion taste and provide this really REALLY new person for shane to get to know and get used to after having this very specific image of him in his head for the longest time. my self insert and shane both have to deal with that, though, since shane also changed a lot. due to the fact that he was on his high school’s gridball team i’m sure he was pretty popular back then before everything in his life just got worse. that could turn into a huge tangent so i’ll just keep it to myself, but man. i think it’s really fun to think about them both coping with the fact that they knew each other so intimately and now they still kind of love each other but hardly know each other anymore and rekindling what they had in a healthier way. (vibrates)

also don’t know where else to write this but the scars on the first picture are on the wrong leg and it’s haunted me ever since i drew it. i don’t know how i managed to mess that up

[kpophours]

Sweet Night (M)

➵ Stray Kids: Bang Chan x fem. reader / one shot, college AU, camping trip AU / fluff, smut / REQUESTED

➵ warnings: slight cursing, explicit mentions of sex (slight public teasing, orgasm denial, oral: receiving, slight choking)

➵ word count: 6k (lol oops)

a/n: after a few anon requests/inquiries, I decided to write this one shot as the second part to Way to You - you can absolutely read this on its own though.

I’M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, OOOOOOH! I’M WALKING ON-

Your eyes fly open as soon as the song starts blaring from somewhere beside you, and you blindly fumble for the alarm clock, thankfully managing to find the off-switch quite quickly. This very annoying clock was a horrible yet also kinda thoughtful birthday gift from Chan’s roommates, as it’s quite possibly the loudest one on the market, meaning it is able to wake literally anyone. It could probably even wake Dracula from his deep slumber in the depths of his castle somewhere in Romania. And while Chan might not be a vampire, he isn’t one to wake easily either, so this extremely loud alarm clock was the only solution your friends had been able to come up with. Which sadly means you experience something close to a heart attack every morning - or well, at least a few times a week, as you do still spend some nights at the apartment you share with Jisung. 

You fall back into the pillows, heart still racing from the sudden noise. Pale sunlight filters through the curtains and into the otherwise dark room. You groan, blinking against the rays of light hitting you straight in the face, and turn around to cuddle into your boyfriend’s broad back. He hums, only half-awake himself, and turns around to wrap both arms around you, leaving a lazy kiss on your forehead. 

Suddenly, there’s a crash from somewhere in the house, and you jump. Chan sighs deeply, and murmurs “Hyunjin, probably.” under his breath - it’s no secret that his roommate is a walking disaster. You don’t answer, only pressing a soft kiss on his naked chest. “How’d you sleep?”, he asks, one hand beginning to trace gentle patterns on your bare back. “Like a rock - which was exactly what I needed after my midterms.”, you answer, and he nods. “You more than deserved that, babe. I’m really proud of you, by the way. I’m sure you aced all your exams.”, he says, and you can’t help but smile at his sweet words. You look up at him, gently cupping his cheek, and kiss him. He basically melts against you, pulling you even closer towards him, and bites down on your lower lip to slide his tongue into your mouth. Before this can end in a steamy morning make-out session, there’s a knock on Chan’s door. He groans and draws back from you, expression grumpy. “What?”, he then yells, shooting daggers towards his door. “Just wanted to make sure you’re up, we’re supposed to be leaving in an hour!”, Felix answers, sounding way too cheerful so early in the morning. “Ugh, I hate morning people. Just once I want to get up in the morning without having to go through the seven stages of grief first.”, you mumble, your warm breath tickling Chan’s neck and making him giggle and wiggle away from you. “Yeah, we’re up!”, he quickly answers Felix, who shuffles away from the door, before turning towards you again, “Wait, aren’t there only five stages of grief? What are your extra two?” “Denial part two and astral projection.”, you answer, and Chan laughs before giving you a soft smile, brushing some of your hair out of your face. 

“Breakfast?”, he then asks, and you nod. “Absolutely. I need coffee, and lots of it.”, you agree, and he rolls his eyes. “I swear, by now there’s definitely coffee running through your veins instead of blood.”, Chan mumbles, before jumping out of bed to grab his underwear from the floor. You just chuckle and follow him, but can’t seem to find your bra anywhere. “What the Hell…”, you mumble under your breath, twirling around once in a desperate attempt to locate it. “Uh. Looking for this?”, Chan asks and you follow his gaze. You both burst into loud laughter when you spot your bra happily dangling from the ceiling light. “Well, we had to be very fast yesterday evening. Clothes went flying, and quite literally it seems.”, you say, lips twitching while you stand on your tiptoes to get your bra, and Chan nods in agreement. “Very fast indeed - but we couldn’t let the others begin the movie night without us! We had valid reasons.” He grins and wraps both arms around your waist to pull you close to him again, giving you a quick peck on the lips. When you want to deepen the kiss, he draws back again, expression stern. “No time for that, we have to get ready, eat breakfast and you still need to pack some of your stuff before we can leave. And we don’t want to let the others wait, right?” You sigh and pout. “No, we don’t, apparently.”, you just answer, and wiggle into your jeans and turtleneck, finally ready to leave the privacy of Chan’s room and get something to eat.

The scent of fresh coffee and pancakes greets you when you arrive downstairs, and you inhale deeply. Felix is standing in front of the stove, humming a soft tune under his breath while working on making the tower of pancakes beside him even taller. He turns around when you enter the kitchen, giving you his signature sunshine smile. “Morning, Y/N.”, he greets you, “Slept well?” You nod and peek over his shoulder. “Yup. And have I ever told you how much I love you?”, you ask, stealing a piece of pancake directly out of the pan, and Felix tries to swat your hand away before he chuckles. “Shouldn’t you say that to Chan, not to me?”, he replies, and your boyfriend, just entering the kitchen behind you, sighs deeply. “She’s an opportunist, meaning she’ll tell anyone she loves them if it means she gets what she wants, so beware. I actually rarely hear her say it to me.”, Chan says warningly, and you shoot him a dark look. “Oh shut up, that’s so not true. I tell you I love you at least once or twice a day, you needy baby.”, you grumble, and just then, Minho joins the small kitchen party. “Needy baby? You’re not talking about Hyunjin, are you?”, he asks, ruffling his crazy bed hair while filling a mug with coffee, sighing contently when he takes the first sip. You grin and shake your head, before taking a mug out of the cabinet yourself. 

Said roommate also enters the kitchen just then, face looking quite puffy. You raise both eyebrows. “Did you cry yourself to sleep last night?”, you ask, and take a sip of coffee to hide your shit-eating grin. Hyunjin throws you a dark glare, and crosses both arms in front of his chest. “No. But I did have a slight mental breakdown after realizing I probably failed my last exam yesterday, so I decided to treat myself to some late-night-ramen, and now I look like this.”, he points at his face, beginning to pout, “God just hates pretty people, he’s clearly punishing me for my dashing looks.” “Or maybe he just doesn’t like narcissists.”, Jeongin offers when he enters the kitchen, shoving Minho out of the way to get to the kitchen cabinet almost overflowing with mugs. You decide it’s finally getting too crowded in the kitchen, and leave it again. You’re absolutely not a morning person, and can’t deal with the boys’ constant bickering without having experienced the positive effect of the caffeine you’re currently consuming. 

Seungmin is sitting on one of the sofas, currently scrolling through Instagram and apparently trying to like every cute puppy pic in existence. “Morning.”, you greet him and take a seat beside him, peeking over his shoulder and cooing at an extremely cute baby golden retriever. Seungmin just greets you with a curt nod of his head, not being a morning person either, and keeps scrolling. Minutes later, Felix enters the living room, balancing a giant plate of fresh pancakes in front of him while all the other boys follow him like stray dogs. “What would you guys even do without Felix cooking for you all the time?”, you ask, mouth watering when you inhale the delicious smell. “Starve and die.”, Seungmin deadpans, while Jeongin answers: “We’d have to look at Hyunjin’s ugly bloated face every day because we’d solely live off ramen.” Hyunjin hits the back of his head for that, but the younger boy just shoots him his cheshire cat grin. “I mean, I could cook too, I guess.”, Chan says, frowning, and everyone bursts into loud laughter. “Wow okay, I’ll try not to take this personally…”, your boyfriend grumbles, and sits down at the dining table. You slide onto the chair next to him, and pat his thigh affectionately. “I love you, babe, but you literally didn’t know how to whisk eggs when we wanted to bake cookies last week.”, you say, and Chan sighs. “That’s... sadly fair. But I could learn!” 

“No offense, but we actually like our kitchen intact - thanks for your humble offering though. If Felix should die unexpectedly, we might get back to you.”, Minho answers, and before the situation can escalate into a playful bickering battle, Felix yells “SO, WHO WANTS PANCAKES?!”, successfully managing to distract everyone. 

One and a half hours later, everyone is packed and ready to go - you’ve planned this little getaway for almost two months now, everyone having finished their first round of exams at this time of year and being able to just relax for a bit. For some reason, the boys had wanted to go camping, and as you, Jisung’s girlfriend Lina and Hyunjin’s girlfriend Marie were clearly outnumbered by the boys, you hadn’t really had the chance to disagree with them. But you honestly don’t even mind, having gone camping lots of times already and just being happy to enjoy some time with your closest friends. Only Changbin won’t be able to join you guys, as he’s currently doing an internship and wasn’t able to request some time off. 

Chan is just about to lock the front door to the frat house, when Jeongin zooms past you, yelling for his older roommate to wait. “I forgot something extremely important!”, he explains, almost breathless, and disappears into the house again. “What’s he getting now?”, your boyfriend wonders, and shoots you a questioning gaze. You just shrug, and let your bag fall to the ground, too lazy to hold onto it while waiting for the youngest of your group. A few minutes later, Jeongin comes back, a huge grin on his face and a giant stuffed animal in his arms. Chan blinks a few times, and opens his mouth to say something, but he gets cut off by the younger boy: “You guys can cuddle with each other, but I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than cuddle with Minho, Felix or Seungmin, whoever I’ll end up sharing a tent with. But I do wanna cuddle with someone, so Mr. Sunshine it is.”, he explains stoically, and you just nod in support. “I totally get that, plus I wouldn’t be too sure that Minho doesn’t just turn into a bat or something like that during the night. He’s at least part demon, we all know that.”, you say, and Jeongin giggles. 

You’re truly prepared to give him anything whenever he smiles at you like this, his eyes almost disappearing, teeth almost blindingly bright. While you detain from squishing his cheeks, you do poke the dimple on his left one, being too endeared by him. He swats your hand away, of course he does, but you still bask in the victory of having poked his cheek. One thing to cross off your to-do-list for today. 

“Okay, let’s go to the others.”, Chan finally says after locking the house, and without you having to say anything, he takes his and your bag and walks over to where the others are waiting beside the cars. Chivalry is not dead and you’re ready to swoon over your amazing boyfriend. “Okay, we still have to pick up Jisung, Lina and Marie.”, Chan says after he’s put your bags into the trunk of his car, “So, who’s gonna ride in which car?” “Well I obviously want to ride with Marie.”, Hyunjin says, a goofy smile on his face - they have been together for almost a year now, but he’s still very much extremely whipped for her, but luckily, she seems to feel the exact same way -, and Minho murmurs a sarcastic “Shocking, really.” under his breath. “I want Jisung and Lina in our car.”, you quickly say, and Chan gives you a short nod. Of course you’d say that - Jisung is your best friend after all, and you’ve grown quite close to Lina as well. You’re also good friends with Marie, but Jisung just wins this round - not that you’d ever tell that to his face, he’s too cocky as it is, no need to push his ego even more. “Then Minho, you take Hyunjin, Marie, Felix and Seungmin, and I take Y/N, Jisung, Lina and Jeongin, okay?”, Chan suggests, and everyone agrees. Five minutes later, all the bags are safely stored away and everyone has taken their seats. Being Chan’s girlfriend means you get to ride shotgun, something you’re more than thankful for, knowing how crowded the backseat is going to be once you’ve picked up Jisung and Lina. “See you in a bit!”, Felix yells through his open window, and flashes you his extremely cute gummy smile. You wave at him, immediately returning his smile, and successfully ignore Minho’s mock salute and cocky grin while he backs out of his parking spot, almost cutting Chan off.

Twenty minutes later, Jisung and Lina are squished into the backseat with Jeongin, all three having bright smiles on their faces. “Road trip, whoop!”, Jisung yells and gives you a high five, “Happy to have a few days with y’all before we have to face the sad reality of probably having failed most of our exams!” Lina beside him rolls her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic, I’m sure most of us will have aced everything.”, she says, and Jisung wraps his arm around her and kisses her temple. “Sorry, but I have literally only one functioning brain cell and I use it to overthink.”, he explains, yelping when she playfully tickles his side. You chuckle at their bickering, and hit play on your road trip playlist - a second later, Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody fills the car, all of you immediately beginning to sing along. “LET’S GO!”, Chan yells over the sad attempts of everyone trying to imitate Freddy Mercury, and backs out of the parking lot. You smile and interlace your fingers with his. He cheekily returns your smile, and raises your intertwined hands to his lips to press a soft kiss against your knuckles. Over a year of being with him, but you still swoon over this simple yet sweet gesture. Yes, you’re just that whipped for your boyfriend, and what about it. 

It doesn’t take long for you guys to arrive on the interstate, you and Jisung trying to trump each other's impressions of Beyoncé singing Single Ladies (and failing miserably, sorry Queen B). Your belly almost hurts from laughing with your friends, and you can’t wait for the rest of the weekend to begin. 

Minho’s car arrives before Chan’s, and of course he’s gloating about it the second you guys join forces again. But you can let him have this small victory, and decide to just ignore him for now, helping Chan get the bags out of his car and to the campsite. It’s quite cold, the air crisp now that the sun is slowly beginning to set again, but you brought lots of blankets and sleeping bags, so you should be fine. And at least the weather means there aren’t any other campers here right now, so you have the whole area, including the washing rooms, to yourselves, which is nice. 

Setting up camp takes longer than anticipated, mostly because Jisung somehow manages to crash into his and Lina’s almost finished tent twice, which means they have to start from the very beginning again. She truly has the patience of a saint, simply smacking him over the head rather playfully before picking up the sad remains of their tent to begin the whole building process again. Chan and you, having gone camping lots of times already, are quickest with finishing your tent, so afterwards you offer to help Jisung and Lina with theirs, while Chan does the same for Minho and Jeongin. Marie, an experienced scout, has set up hers and Hyunjin’s tent in record time as well, and takes pity on Felix and Seungmin, quickly building the tent for them. After an hour, your camp has successfully been built, and everyone begins to search for firewood.

Felix decides to make a giant pot of spicy chili sin carne for tonight’s dinner, and as soon as all the plates are filled, your conversations slowly dwindle down, everyone too busy with eating. “Lix, you’re a cooking genius, Gordon Ramsey found jobless.”, Marie says around a mouthful of chili, giving the blonde boy a bright smile and the thumbs up. He waves her compliment aside, blushing profoundly. “Thanks, but it’s honestly not that difficult - you just have to follow the recipe, if you’re too scared to improvise.”, he murmurs, and she throws a small piece of kindling at him. “You should really learn how to take compliments.”, she teases playfully, and he shrugs. “Okay, okay, I’m the best cook ever.”, he says sarcastically, and Minho raises one eyebrow. “Whoa, now don’t get ahead of yourself.”, he replies, and Felix smacks him over the head. “You can’t cook at all, so for once, you should just stay quiet.”, you say, and Minho sighs dramatically. “What can I say… We all have our weaknesses. I, for example, am extremely good-looking and tragically funny.” 

You almost choke on your chili because of his audacity, and lift your fork in front of your face, staring through it and at Minho, who just frowns at you. “What are you doing? Why are you looking at me through your fork?”, he asks, obviously confused by your behavior, and you give him a lopsided smile. “I’m pretending you’re in jail, it’s spiritually healing.”, you explain, and Chan beside you bursts into laughter, the others following him quickly. Minho begins to pout and sticks out his tongue at you, always the mature one. “It’s okay if you don’t enjoy my dashing looks and hilarious humor, not everyone has good taste. That’s why you picked Chan over me after all.”, he claims, and you answer by throwing a piece of wood his way, making him squeal and dive for cover. Just then, the flames of your fire flicker and slowly begin to die down. Seungmin, Jeongin and Hyunjin stand up to go get some more firewood, but somehow, the latter one’s shoe gets caught between two logs and with a loud yelp, he tumbles to the ground. “What the Hell is he doing?!”, Chan groans, and Jeongin deadpans “Sadly his best.”, before he begins walking over towards his friend to help him, but Marie is faster, already dragging her boyfriend up from the ground with tears of laughter in her eyes. Hyunjin’s cheeks are red from embarrassment and he murmurs something about nature being out to get him, before he, Marie and the other two boys disappear into the forest to get more firewood.

The rest of the evening is filled with playful banter, soft guitar music from Jisung, and funny childhood stories. Lina soon begins to nod off, her head resting on her boyfriend’s shoulder while he continues to strum a soft tune on his guitar, humming along. When he notices his girlfriend is about to wander into Morpheus’ realm though, he’s quick to place the guitar back into its bag, and wraps both arms around her. “I think it’s time for us to retire, huh?”, he says, leaving a gentle kiss on Lina’s forehead. She blinks sleepily, and smiles up at him. “It’s pretty safe to assume that at any given moment, I want to go back to sleep - so yes, I agree, time to retire.”, she answers, and Jisung chuckles, before standing up to declare: “Well, we’re off to bed now!” Minho and Seungmin boo immediately, while Jeongin murmurs something like “Old people” under his breath - even though he’s literally only one year younger than most of you guys. 

“So, as I’m legally required to kiss my homies goodnight, y’all getting some smooches!”, Jisung says, already walking towards where Hyunjin and Marie are sitting, bodies entangled and breaths mingling. Hyunjin looks up and shoots his friend a murderous look. “I swear, if you kiss me, I’m going to dump you into the river.”, he threatens, but Jisung just grins. “How about you dump your girlfriend instead and run away with me? We’d make such a pretty couple.”, he says, making Hyunjin roll his eyes. “Bro, no offense, but I’d be the pretty one in this relationship, and while everyone can clearly see you already have quite the experience being the ugly one in a relationship” with that, Hyunjin first points at Jisung and then at Lina, who bursts out laughing, “I don’t think I’m ready to hear your constant whining about my face being prettier than yours. So thanks, but no thanks, I’ll stay with Marie.” “Wow, I feel so honored and loved right now, babe.”, Marie says sarcastically, “But does this mean you think you’re the pretty one in this relationship as well?” Hyunjin goes into instant panic mode, quickly reassuring his girlfriend that she’s far prettier than him, while she tries to keep a stern expression on her face, but everyone can clearly see the way her lips twitch. She just loves teasing Hyunjin, and you honestly can’t blame her for that, especially not when it’s just so easy. 

“Okay, goodnight, then!”, Lina interrupts their playful bickering, and gives everyone a soft smile, before dragging Jisung towards their tent. Everyone wishes them a good night and sweet dreams as well, and then Seungmin clears his throat. “Time for some ghost stories, don’t you think?”, he says, voice low and grin almost evil when his eyes find Hyunjin, who immediately falls silent. Everyone knows he’s a huge scaredy cat, which is quite funny seeing as his own girlfriend is a big fan of horror movies and stories. Truly a match made in Heaven. Seungmin just raises one eyebrow, expression challenging - but when no one contradicts him, he begins to tell his first ghost story. 

It doesn’t take long until Hyunjin is pretty much sitting on Marie’s lap, shooting daggers at his friend while his girlfriend is trying very hard not to laugh at him. You yourself cuddle closer to your own boyfriend, smiling when he presses a soft kiss against your temple. Your eyes rest on the big bonfire, following some sparks drifting into the dark night sky from time to time, and you sigh contently. This, right here, is your happy place - in the midst of your friends, just laughing and joking with them, not a care in the world. Midterms lie behind you, and you’re currently not even thinking about your grades for once, your anxiety at rest. This trip was truly a great idea, maybe even Jisung’s best one so far. 

“Okay, wanna hear a really creepy one-”, Seungmin begins, and Hyunjin has finally had enough, standing up and taking Marie’s hand into his. “Well, goodnight!”, he says, a determined expression on his face, and pulls his girlfriend towards their tent. Marie suppresses an amused smile at her boyfriend’s dramatics, and waves at everyone, before following him inside the tent. Seungmin just grins evilly and shrugs. “He’s so soft hearted.”, he then says, and leans back, obviously content with his work. “Okay, maybe it’s three demons, not only two.”, you murmur into Chan’s ear, and he chuckles. You’re always joking about Minho and Hyunjin being demons, as they’re constantly testing your nerves by just being themselves, plus they were definitely the main plotters behind the plan to get you and Chan together - not that you’re complaining about it as their plan had worked pretty perfectly and in your favor. “In the end you’ll probably find that I live with six demons.”, your boyfriend murmurs, and begins to play with your fingers. You shake your head. “Oh no, Felix is definitely an angel, not a demon.”, you disagree, and Chan nods. “Okay, that’s true. The others though… Well, time will tell, I guess.” “Or holy water.” He just laughs and gives you a quick peck on the lips. When you want to deepen the kiss, he draws back. “Later.”, he murmurs against your lips, his deep voice rumbling in his chest, and you shiver involuntarily. He grins at your reaction, before turning his attention to Seungmin’s new ghost story again. 

You on the other hand feel hot and bothered all of the sudden, and decide to tease your boyfriend a bit. So you place your hand on his thigh, not moving it for some time, until you slowly slide it higher, bit by bit. At first, Chan doesn’t seem to notice or care, until you’re getting dangerously close to his crotch. Then, he quickly leans forward so the others can’t see what you’re doing, and glares at you. “What are you doing?”, he asks, voice low, and you smile innocently. “Nothing.”, you answer, and have finally reached your desired destination, slowly beginning to palm his semi over his jeans. “How about you be a good girl and stop?”, he breathes out, but you know he doesn’t actually want you to stop - you know him well enough for that by now. Still, you decide to play along. “Oh, I’ll gladly be your good girl.”, you whisper, and quickly withdraw your hand. He groans at your words and the sudden lack of contact, and locks eyes with you. “Tent. Now.”, he grits out, and stands up, pulling you with him and hugging you from behind so your body hides his erection from the others. “We’re tired too, so goodnight!”, he says in a fake cheerful voice, and you have to hide your shit-eating grin while innocently waving at the others. “Oh you’re in so much trouble now, babe.”, Chan murmurs into your ear while you walk towards your tent, and bites down on your lobe. You feel arousal gather between your legs, stomach jolting at his words. You and Chan have a very playful relationship, full of bantering and loving jokes, and your dynamic in the bedroom isn’t that different - there’s a lot of bickering too, you being a total brat at times, while he’s more on the dominant side, enjoying making you obedient.  

As soon as he closes the tent behind you and turns around to watch you with an almost predatory gaze, you know you might have been a bit too forward at the bonfire. But it’s too late to back down now, so you simply raise both eyebrows, a challenging expression on your face. “So you think touching me like that in front of our friends is okay?”, Chan asks, his voice low and dark. You tilt your head to one side. “I mean, you didn’t seem opposed to it, to be honest.”, you answer, and now he’s the one to lift both eyebrows. “I want you out of your clothes, now.”, your boyfriend orders, and for once, you follow his command immediately, knowing this is for your own good this time. So you quickly wiggle out of your jeans and take off your jumper, shivering in the cold night air. Only left in your panties and bra, Chan smirks to himself, before crawling over your body and beginning to kiss you slowly. You gasp into his mouth when one of his warm hands finds your waist, drawing lazy circles against it, before traveling higher to cup your breast over your bra. His thumb rubs over your clothed nipple before pinching it, hard, and you arch your back, breath hitching. 

“So, let’s see how quiet you can stay while I eat you out, hm? Remember, the walls of the tent are too thin to mask any noises.”, Chan whispers against your lips, before he suddenly descends down your body. Oh no, you know you’re screwed. He’ll try to make you scream his name, but while you’re quite open about sex and have no problem talking about it with your friends, you definitely don’t need them to hear you during the actual act. Maybe you shouldn’t have teased your boyfriend after all - but it’s too late now, he’s determined. He spreads your legs, and begins to leave soft love bites on the inside of your thighs. You’re trembling already, and it’s not because of the cold alone. Chan always has this effect on you, no matter how often he touches you - you’ll never get used to it. He plays with the hem of your panties, until he finally drags them down your legs, his warm breath hitting your wet core. You begin to squirm, impatient to have him finally touch you where you need him most. He smacks your thigh, the crack resounding through the tent, and you yelp. “Chan.”, you hiss, and he grins cheekily, before suddenly pressing his thumb to your clit, beginning to draw lazy circles against it. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and you clamp one hand over your mouth to mask any noises. 

Chan soon replaces his thumb with his mouth, sucking on your clit like his life depends on it while simultaneously sliding two fingers inside your heat. A loud moan tears from your lips and you bite the inside of your cheek, trying to stifle your noises but already failing miserably. You feel Chan smirk against you, and then, he slips a third finger inside you, curling them upwards and picking up the pace. You buck your hips against his gentle ministrations, skin feeling too hot and too tight already, goosebumps rising all over your body. It doesn’t take long until you begin to tremble, your high approaching rather quickly, and you’re this close to finally snapping, when Chan draws back from your core, face glistening with your juices, his smirk almost devilish. “I can’t hear you, babe, are you even enjoying this?”, he murmurs, back to drawing lazy patterns on your clit with his thumb. You feel frustration wash over you, and shoot him a dark glare. His grin gets even wider, before he completely withdraws his hand from your heat to suck on his glistening fingers. You close your eyes for a few seconds, trying to gather your wits, until Chan slaps your thigh again. “Look at me, baby.”, he says, voice dark, and your eyes snap open again. You begin to pout. “Please.”, you mumble, trying your best to appeal to his softer side, “I’m sorry I was a brat earlier. You know I can’t be loud or the others might hear us.” Your boyfriend just hums, hands ghosting over your thighs and leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Too bad, I guess you can’t cum tonight then.” And before you’re able to reply anything, he dives back in-between your folds. 

You throw one arm over your mouth, and bite your own soft flesh to suppress any noises. It takes little to no time until you’re close to your orgasm again, but for the second time tonight, Chan draws back in the last possible second. You’re almost ready to cry with frustration now, eyes glistening with unshed tears. When your boyfriend sees this, he softens a bit and leans towards you to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “This is what you get for being a brat.”, he murmurs, and you bite down on his lower lip, making him groan into your mouth. “Please.”, you whisper and try your best puppy eyes on him. He just smirks again, finally ridding himself off his shirt, jeans and underwear. When he’s fully naked in front of you, you sigh, eyes raking his beautiful, defined body. Unlike you, Chan actually enjoys going to the gym - and his effort pays off. “Stop drooling.”, he says, sounding way too pleased and cocky in your opinion. So you quickly sit up, and wrap one hand around his hard cock, already leaking with pre-cum. Good to see you’re not the only one being affected by this, you think and grin. You begin to slowly jerk him off, spreading the pre-cum over the rest of his cock as lube. He groans, lower lip pulled back between his teeth and eyes almost black with desire. Finally, he’s had enough, and pushes you on your back again, hovering over you. “There’s condoms in the bag behind you.”, he murmurs, leaving gentle kisses on your neck until he finds your sweet spot, beginning to suck on it. You moan almost inaudible, fingers fumbling for said bag to retrieve a condom. 

Just seconds later, Chan rolls it over his cock, and then, he aligns himself in front of your wet core, teasingly rubbing your clit before you shoot him a pleading look. He finally sheathes himself into you with one swift motion, and you both moan out loud at the feeling. You quickly cough to cover the noise, making Chan chuckle and press a kiss against your forehead. “You’re okay?”, he asks, and you nod, biting down on his neck and leaving a hickey. He groans and finally begins to move, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back into you, immediately hitting that spot. Your fingers wrap around his biceps, needing something to hold onto while he drills into you. Suddenly, he pulls out of you to sit back on his knees, wrapping your legs around his hips, and thrusts back into you at an even deeper angle, simultaneously picking up the pace. One of his hands snakes towards your neck and he wraps his fingers around the base of your throat, using just enough pressure to make breathing harder for you. When his thumb begins to circle your clit again, you close your eyes, clamping one hand over your mouth to mask your almost obscene noises. 

“C-Chan, I’m so c-close.”, you say in between two moans, and he grins, murmuring a “That’s my girl” under his breath before deepening the angle even more. He suddenly pinches your clit once, and that’s all it takes for you to finally tumble over the edge, his name leaving your lips maybe a bit too loud this time. He quickly leans forward to seal your mouth with his, chasing his own high while guiding you through yours. Not long after, he groans and presses his forehead against yours, shuddering a bit while releasing into the condom. He stills inside you, both your breaths mingling, hearts beating fast while you try to come down from your high. Chan smiles, brushing some of your hair out of your face, and gives you a soft, sweet kiss. “I love you.”, he murmurs, and you return his smile. “Love you more.”, you whisper back, and he chuckles. “Impossible.” 

Before you can begin to playfully argue, Minho’s voice cuts through the night “Next time we’ll build the tents far away from each other, y’all are nasty for doing it with us sitting almost right next you.” Both you and Chan freeze, before you burst out laughing. “WE HAVE ZERO REGRETS.”, you yell back, hearing the others groan. “WELL, YOU REALLY SHOULD THOUGH!”, Jisung complains from somewhere to your left, and you hear Lina starting to giggle. You groan and bury your face into Chan’s neck. “They’ll never let us hear the end of this, will they.”, you murmur against his soft skin, and he shakes his head. “Nope.” You sigh and lean back. “Well, it was still worth it.”, you say, and grin up at him. Your boyfriend just smirks and leans down to kiss you again. “Oh, definitely.”

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