#honestly kind of upset they don't bring up just how traumatic the whole thing was for yoosung

[natasha-in-space]

Hey mia what kind of dynamic would yoosung and saeran have in between them on the context of yoosung good/normal ending (aka saeran had blinded yoosung in one eye).

So in the yoosung valentine dlc, seven was in his jokester mood we have known him to have, which makes me speculate that between the good/normal ending and the valentine dlc (which are quite some years apart since in the latter yoosung is in his mid-late 20s) seven had rescued saeran and rika was secretly rehabilited without her being exposed of her crimes.

Seven would not keep his jokester facade and is also likely to leave rfa if he knew saeran was not okay (something he had discovered in that very route).

So with the assumption of seven rescuing saeran shortly after yoosung route and saeran meeting the rest of the rfa including yoosung. What kind of dynamic would the two have. I see both the potential for angst and some heartwarming moments as well

Pretty much the same as in SE, but with even more added trauma and guilt between them specifically.

MM endings are rather open to interpretation, so there are a lot of ways to imagine your own individual story playing out. I personally like it about them! So, it is very much a possibility that Mint Eye does get discovered and dismantled eventually, and that the twins do reunite. If we're taking a safer route, with Saeyoung staying with the RFA, and everyone working together without any added drama, then it'll pretty much play out similarly to the second SE.

Saeran will be recovering at the hospital until a specific point, and after that, he will be staying with Saeyoung in his bunker. How that whole thing plays out, and how differently it is from the SE, is completely up to you.

That said, I do think Yoosung will handle the whole crisis a bit more maturely, as well as play a more active role. If we're taking his character development in the duration of his route into account, he is way more determined to do whatever he can to help.

He also has a strong support system by his side in this scenario, so his issues concerning Rika will be resolved more painlessly and in a much healthier manner.

But, that raises the issue of Saeyoung not going through his own development that happens in his own route. And, you know what this means. Even if he doesn't leave the RFA, he'll still become distant and cold with them. The idea of Yoosung being the one who encourages him to open up and trust his friends is something I quite like. It's sweet, in a way, considering how Saeyoung supported Yoosung from the sidelines on his own route. I personally think that these two share one of the closest friendships in the RFA, so it's neat to imagine them encouraging one another like this.

So, there's that.

And Saeran? Well, Yoosung will only have a chance to interact with him directly after a long time has passed. I don't think his recovery will be any less rough than it is in the SE. Quite the opposite, actually. Poor Saeyoung will definitely experience a very difficult and stressful period. The rest of the RFA are going to be his main source of comfort and support. Maybe Yoosung and mc meet up with him from time to time, or maybe Yoosung prepares him some healthy food to eat up while they are stuck in the bunker.

I do think Yoosung will be sympathetic, despite everything. Especially after discovering all that Saeran has gone through. He'll forgive him for what he did, and he will be determined to help out in any way he can. He may not know Saeran, but he's Saeyoung brother, and that's all he needs to know. We do know that Yoosung is someone who will do everything for those he cares about. And Saeyoung is one of his closest friends.

That said... it's one thing to settle your feelings from the safe distance, and it's completely another to meet with this person again face to face. Yoosung's experience in Magenta was undoubtedly very traumatic. Despite not displaying much of a reaction in the game, he will definitely experience occasional nightmares, at the very least. I do like to think that he works this out in therapy, as he's determined to be the best version of himself, but...

That traumatic experience is still directly linked to Saeran.

It's a bitter pill to swallow, and I think Yoosung is not going to expect the reaction he will experience the first time he sees Saeran again. He's likely to freeze and enter a state of fight or flight. It's not intentional. It's a natural response to a feeling of danger. And it's something his mind and body do on their own. It won't be loud or intense, but it is very much distressing to him. Mc will probably have to put a gentle hand on his shoulder and lead him away. It's important to remind him that there is nothing wrong with what he is feeling, and that he shouldn't be hard on himself for that.

And, Saeran? He has no desire to be around the RFA in the first place. It's not comfortable and awkward. Sure, they may say that they do not hold any grudges against him... But, they are still the very same people he vowed to destroy so many times. Of course he'd feel uneasy and uncomfortable around them. It's a constant reminder of just how meaningless his life was up until this point. A cruel callback to the way he was manipulated, and just how much of a twisted monster he really is. Saeran is always quiet and closed off, but when he's next to the RFA?

It is multiplied tenfold.

And, Yoosung? Well, Yoosung is someone who he directly harmed. In a very sadistic and deliberate way, mind you. Saeran doesn't want to be disrespectful or anything, but his gaze will instantly go to the blind eye the young man has lost because of him. And then, the flashbacks will come rushing in. If Yoosung freezes up and goes into fight or flight mode, then Saeran has a straight up panic attack.

He remembers everything. Every disgusting detail of his actions. The sticky blood coating his fingers and getting under his fingernails, the sight of the whirling body before him as he holds it down without any consideration for its owner, the raging hate and an overwhelming desire to hurt clouding his every waking thought.

It causes him to feel sick to his stomach. I am talking sick enough to throw up. And he probably does.

What happened between Saeran and Yoosung on his route shouldn't be overlooked. The event was both traumatic and violent. It will leave them both with lasting consequences. In Yoosung's case, not only mental, but physical as well. And Saeran will never wipe that metallic smell of blood out of his head. Neither is he going to forget the fact that... really, he did that on his own accord. Nobody told him to harm Yoosung in such a cruel and purposefully sadistic way. He wanted to cause him pain. He wanted to make him scream and tremble from pain.

And, the worst of it all? It's not possible for him to pretend and say he didn't like it. Because he did. At the time, all he wanted was to hurt him.

Saeran already feels like a monster in the SE. I am honestly horrified to imagine how he would feel in this scenario if he ends up shooting V as well.

It's... It's a lot.

For the rest of his life, he will have to live with this. This guilt and knowledge of just what he is really capable of. And he wants to never forget what he did. Yoosung has lost an eye because of him. The least he can do is make sure that he carries some sort of consequence of that unforgivable event with him. It's a way of self-punishment. Not healthy at all.

So... yes, there is going to be a lot of very heavy baggage from both sides here. It's not impossible for them to form a stronger bond, if that's the picture you want to see for your ending. However, it will take a considerable amount of time. I'm talking literal years here. Lots of trial and error. Lots of messy situations and emotional outbursts from both sides. And, of course, therapy.

The thought of both of them coming to a sort of closure with each other is sweet, though. Maybe years down the line, as Saeran has to do a lot of healing and self-discovery of his own. But, it's possible.

[spasticarkayl]

One thing that I can't stand is when people make posts about how much they hate something, and specifically hope and pray and desire the death of people who enjoy said thing.

I'm not saying people can't hate something, or post about hating something, or even not want to interact with people who like said thing.

I'm personally of the opinion that certain kinds of jokes that could definitely come across as wishing death on others aren't as serious or concerning as others. Like, towards celebrities that you admire. I see the whole "omg he needs to stop breathinnggggg" in the same vein as "he's so HOT my ovaries exploded!!!" kind of humor, but that's pretty much the limit.

Wishing death on people, simply because they like something that you don't- whether it be for personal tastes, a traumatic incident, because that's how you were raised, any of it- is a serious red flag to me.

Vent and rant and ramble about the things you hate all you want. Hell, I encourage it! It gets pent up frustrations out in the open, especially if you have a group of friends that you can vent/rant to! Just. Don't wish death on the people that like those things.

Block and move on. Talk it out with friends you know if they're posting things that upset you, and if you can't work things out, maybe it's time to move on from that friendship.

This goes double for things like kink culture. If you don't like certain kinds of kinks, don't do them with people. Block people posting about these things you don't like. Don't rant about how badly you want certain kinksters to die because their kinks bring out your trauma. Especially! When you're not in a sexual relationship with literally anyone that has those kinks!

I wanted this post to be overall vague but honestly as a queer man who recently started exploring kink culture these kinds of things make me SO MAD. A lot of kinks that make certain people upset have been around for decades longer than even I have been alive. Wishing death on people that are part of a culture that has been around for so so so long is fuckin' shitty.

Ugh. Anyways I lost part of the point of this post i think but I got most of the way there.

[purityoflust]

The Smile [Jeff The Killer X Victim!Reader] [PART 2]

Jeff the killer X Victim!

WARNING: Yandere. That's it. Yandere.

I finally decided how I would write part 2 to The Smile, which is my first and most popular post on my account so far. Anyone new who has come to read this, check out my other posts as well if you'd like. I'll post more like this. I also have a Quotev account with more fanfictions.

9/12/20, 3/4 days after the top part: God, AFTER SO LONG, I FINALLY DID IT! Took me days! I'm so sorry if this is a bit lazy, it is a tiny bit rushed by the end but how would you guys feel about a detailed part 3? I'll probably go as far as a part 3 or part 4 for the final part.

The vibrations in your brain felt warm and numbing - almost like when you have a horrible migraine and you can finally feel it subsiding with your eyes closed and your fingers gently holding down onto your eyelids as if you're holding your eyes into place to prevent them from bursting out of your skull. Upon waking up you can feel cold air settling into your skin. You haven't been awake 3 minutes and you already know what you're resting on; an extremely uncomfortable metal table. You've only seen them in movies but this was real.

The sound of a singsong voice just slightly echoing through what seemed like a moderately empty room. You groaned softly as you turned your head to your right, very slowly opening your eyes. Your vision blurred in and out, which, you wanted to rub to clear it out but as you went to lift your wrists, you felt pressure around them.

Something was holding your arms down. This catches your attention, blinking multiple times while turning your head back up straight and attempting to sit up. You were hardly successful with that, struggling while grunting under your breath to pull your hands from under what seemed to be a thick rope. As you pulled harder, you sucked in your stomach out of habit before immediately coming to a halt and choking up in pain.

This whole time you were ignoring the voice that was singing eerily nearby, "You and me, always forever~"

The voice was of a male. Scratchy, shaky. Familiar.

Familiar.

You could feel a string of your heart pop out of place as your breath stopped. That's when you knew something was wrong, but it just doesn't add up. You gulp while your eyeballs vigorously glance around to see where the source was coming from, only to see a figure in a corner. It was doubled over and it was sitting down on a simple wooden chair. Doubling over a...table? An average male figure, nothing unique. Although, the clothing style was unusual. At least what was on the clothes. He wore a fluffy white hoodie and what seemed to be black pants and black-and-white converse. The problem wasn't the outfit, no. His hoodie was spotted and had patterns upon patterns of darkened and more fresh-looking blood splatter. He had long black hair down to his shoulders. And luckily, his back was facing you.

You were dumbfounded. How did you get here, why are you restrained, and why is there a blood covered man near you? Is that even blood? Maybe it's paint or a design? Some people do wear clothes that have different kinds of blood splatter designs on them. Hm. Or he's an actual murderer about to gut you like a fish.

You wanted to speak. You wanted to speak so badly but you just couldn't. As you parted your lips, your throat went dry while your gaze stayed locked onto the bloody male that sat before you. The singing made you shiver as you tried so hard to remember where you could have heard or seen him. Why can't you remember?

The male then turned around to look at you. His singing had come to a gentle halt. Your mouth closed as he did so, your throat going completely dry and your whole body feeling like an ice cube. You were greeted with cold blue eyes. They looked hungry and bloodthirsty, yet they held a warm affection as they looked into your traumatized eyes. It was almost comforting until you saw the rest of his face. His skin was snow white and his lips looked dry. That's when more attention is drawn to his lower jaw. He's smiling. Too big for a normal person.

That's when you realize. He has a large smile carved into his cheeks going from ear to ear while his own lips were curled within a smile as well. And that's when it hits you.

And it hits you hard.

The memories of hours prior start brutally crashing into you, flooding back into your numb brain. All of the realization replaced itself with agonizing anxiety, your heart starting to race at speeds that felt impossible. You could pass out, but something inside you kept you awake. Something about him and about this whole situation was making you dizzy. The male slowly stands and turns his body all the way to face you. He seemed deranged, yet, he had a very relaxed stance and body language.

Uncomfortable silence loomed in the air.

He kept staring at you before slowly taking steps forward. You watch him carefully as your head feels like it's spinning, which you could notice your vision blurring a little bit here and there. The silence is suddenly disturbed with the male speaking up again, choking up in giggles. "Oh my sweet Y/N, you're awake~" He cooed, now standing over you. He leaned himself down and reached his hand to your cheek, gently brushing your skin with his surprisingly soft thumb. He leaned his face closer to yours. The smell of booze, blood, & smoke overwhelmed your nostrils. Yet it didn't seem to bother you that much.

His touch almost kind of made you feel...at ease. Your heart slowed itself and your breathing went back to pace. You felt fine, somewhat, but something in your stomach was still sore. The more you stare at him, the more memories come flooding back. The more memories flooding back, the easier you fit the puzzles together.

"M-my...stomach..--" You stutter out painfully.

In response to this, the male turned his head over to your abdomen and gently rested his other hand onto your bandaged stomach, applying very gentle pressure on it as to not hurt you. It was still slightly painful, causing you to groan under your breath.

"Oh, this...I'm sorry, my sweet butterfly. I had to make sure you wouldn't get away, and you didn't! Don't worry, Jack patched you up, so you'll be just fine!"

You remember now. You remember it all. The chase, your friend, the salty kiss before what you thought was your demise.

You naturally wondered as well; who's Jack?

"Wh-.." You weakly force air out of your throat again to speak, "why am I..tied-?"

"Oh, so you wouldn't be able to get away. I knew you would run away, or struggles, so I had to make sure you wouldn't do that!"

He was right. You would run away and struggle to get out of whatever the hell kind of place you're in. Well, knowing what he looks like. He DID stab you, after all. Who knows what this sicko wants.

He lifts his hand from your stomach and turns back to you, gently placing both of his hands at each side of your face. "You're so beautiful, Y/N. So sweet and so innocent. I couldn't keep letting the others eat you up like candy. You're mine and only mine. I need to protect you."

"Wh-who- are you?" You weren't really all too scared for some strange reason now. You were pretty calm. Probably from all of the energy this is draining.

"His name is Jeff." A deep and gruff voice cuts in.

The both of you turn your heads to the door of the room where a tall figure in all black stood. He was about 6"4 wearing heavy boots, black jeans, and a black hoodie. His hair was a dark brown though while he wore a mask. The mask was a dark blue with black goo oozing from the eyesockets. He was pretty intimidating even just by standing idly like a character waiting to be loaded in.

"And I'm Jack." He continued, "I'm the one who took care of your wound."

Jack stepped closer, soon standing at the other side of the table. He stood at the left as Jeff stood at the right.

"He wouldn't stop insisting I help."

You just blink, unknowing of what to respond with. He pursed his lips under his dark mask, in his own thought for a moment while staring down at you. You seemed calm enough, and your still pretty fresh injury was gonna hold you back anyway.

"[P]-[Pronoun]'s gonna-!" He attempts to blurt out, only to be stopped by you.

"I won't."

You were untied at your wrists and ankles, allowing yourself to pull your legs up and rest your feet at the top of the table, propping your knees up. It made your stomach feel weird, but it felt kind of nose and felt like it was easing the pain. You wrapped your arms around your knees, looking around the room more. "What is this place?" You ask.

"It's a medical room."

"Huh.." You shrug it off. Your anxiety levels had died down and the more you actually think about it, this isn't the worst thing that's happened. Your life has been pretty fucked up and you have damaged relationships everywhere. Honestly, being around new people and being far away from others sounds not too bad right now. Not like anyone would care anyway.

The next few hours, you're introduced to everyone else at the Mansion. They've been so...unique and honestly, you're surprised some people and beings like them even exist. They were all equally surprised with how little fear you showed.

You actually got along with most of them.

The others have taken a liking to you and hope you hang around longer. Alone in the living room, you, Jeff, Jack, and others sit at the couches and chairs in the living room, chatting away and getting to know them as they get to know you.

You feel Jeff wrap his arms around you and place a gentle kiss on your forehead, making your heart skip a beat.

You found out Jeff has been stalking you for months at a time. Watching your every move, eliminating anyone in the way. Huh, no wonder so many people in your life kept disappearing. You...couldn't bring yourself to be upset or scared, let alone even sad. You felt kind of at ease.

And far from uncomfortable. Someone loved you. Maybe more than they should, but they love you.

You didn't even feel upset at the fact Jeff had murdered that friend earlier. I mean, you just met the guy, so he wasn't even a 'friend'? So you paid no mind to it.

If anything, you really liked the thrill of someone being obsessed with you. A serial killer being so infatuated with you. He could be so protective of you and get rid of anyone you asked him to! There's is an advantage here. You knew he could snap and probably kill you intentionally or unintentionally, but you didn't mind. You really had no one else, technically speaking. No one that really cared. Not as much as he did.

Maybe he isn't so bad.

[yvesdot]

5 Recs From yves., by Black Authors

You may have heard that I'm busy organizing every single book I read in 2021, and that is true. While I'm at it, here are 5 books by Black authors I would recommend that aren't on every reading list, taken directly from my shelves and heart. No particular order. Happy Black History Month!

1. Delicious Foods by James Hannaham

This one is probably the most underrated on this list. I read this book at too young an age (I recall it as the first adult book I ever read) and I loved it without understanding it at all. I still enjoy reading it every so often, and sense a reread coming to see how I'll interpret it now. Beautiful, gripping, genius prose.

2. The Watsons Go to Birmingham - 1963

Fine, fine, this one is probably on more than a few reading lists. You may also have already read it. I don't care. This is one of my favorite books of all time and a beloved memory from trawling the shelves for Curtis's books as a child; I think everybody should read it again. A reminder of how wonderful children's books can be.

3. Dawn by Octavia Butler

This is also one you may have heard of, but it took me a while to actually get around to it. It wound up being the sci-fi novel that has made me think the most, possibly of all time. I've never seen writing so compelling and effective. If you're interested in the boundaries of literary description; if you want to feel the irrational conflict of the characters; if you want some weird, fucked-up, and discomfiting sci-fi; this is where to go. Still not sure how I feel about that ending...

4. Don’t Let Me Be Lonely by Claudia Rankine

This book is so strange. I'm no poetry person, but I read the whole thing, and I honestly felt like I could not explain it after. It's definitely good. How do I describe its quality, though? Perhaps it's only because I'm not a poetry person, but I was intrigued by my own inability to discuss something I liked. I'm glad I read this with other people.

5. On Sundays She Picked Flowers by Yah Yah Scholfield

Do you guys think if I talk enough about On Sundays that Yah Yah will release the self-pubbed version so that people can get copies and I can request it for my local library. 👁️ Anyway, a fantastic read that manages to bring something new to its niche while interpolating every favorite classic text you love.

6. PUSH by Sapphire

This one's technically famous (hence being a bonus round) but I didn't know that until years after I first read (and was horribly traumatized by) it, just because it was famous when it came out in the late 90s. I'd compare it to Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak in that way-- a book "past its peak," which I would really hate to see forgotten. It's a viscerally, beautifully upsetting book; the kind of thing I know I love but can't bear to re-read because I know what it would do to me (again). Highly recommend at least one read, because it is worth it.`

I created this list in part because I was frustrated by lists that seemed to assume 1) a white reader 2) that Black writers write for white readers 3) that the person reading has never been outside before or is living inside a hermit crab shell or otherwise somehow hasn't heard of Toni Morrison, which I suppose goes back to point 1. I'm hoping someone might find a new favorite book here, or at least see a title they've not heard of before, and I am definitely open to chat if you read one of these and want a book club friend! More book recommendations to come ^__^

[belphegorbillickin]

Honestly, I love Mammon but I'm sick of his sweetness. I see him EVERYWHERE, and it's like the others don't exist. I like it when characters lose their calm you know? Esp that time when we reject Satan's pact, I really liked how he got worked up over such a thing lmao. And of course, most of the ones who tried killing mc had stupid reasons, except for Lucifer imo, but since when did demons make sense?

Alright, sure, they can still be sweet, but imagine if they ACTUALLY were dark characters. Corrupting human souls, selfish desires, blah blah. I'm not saying they can't love mc, ofc they can be sweet and lovable, but that doesn't mean they'd lose their normal habits and quirks. You cannot differentiate between them and normal humans now. The traits that would portray them as demons isn't there.

And perhaps yes, routes would've been fun. Right/wrong answers? Seems legit lmao. But like you said, the characters could've been done so much better.

I liked them at the start, now that I think of it asmo was never really what he seemed to be at the start, but in the recent events to me, at least, he's all but that. Diavolo, Barbatos, they have potential to be dark characters lmao. Asmo too, esp abt Helene, he sure was manipulative. Seeing Satan just be about cats/books upsets me bcuz he's one of my favs, and like you said, I feel he could've been a MUCH better character, plus idk he seems like he could be dark too. Other than beel & mammon, and I really don't know about belphie since he's become pretty sweet now, I feel everyone else could be written as characters with darker, more fitting demon personalities.

Though I love how we can go on about one topic for ages lmao. Lmk if my rambles become too annoying lol – 🍹

Don't worry about it, I really enjoy talking about it and I'm the queen of rambling lol. It's actually kinda hard for me to be concise when it comes to things like this.

And yes! Satan's reaction to rejection was exactly what I was thinking about when I mentioned that. I don't doubt most of the others would've reacted the same either tbh, but the difference between his reason for wanting to kill MC and his brothers' felt very different imo.

I'm kinda repeating myself, but I think people really overlook how cold Asmo was regarding getting MC killed. In that sense I can see how they get along with each other so well. I think I huge part of that is people coming in knowing that they're all gonna love MC and MC can't die so they don't even think about threats or subtle manipulation, but he's one of the most malicious imo since it was so cool-headed and planned.

Kind of like the theories about Barbatos and/or Diavolo purposefully sending you to a traumatic death because executing Belphie would cause the brothers to revolt. (Which I believe to extent btw.) Those four stand out as a lot more demonic imo because they can't be called crimes of passion. I miss the days where they both just casually admitted to taking part in a torture dungeon.

Personally I love the idea of unavoidable demonic corruption. Like the "tragic lovers suffering from fate" trope but where the demon isn't just an innocent victim that can't control it at all and MC doesn't just take it happily without consequences.

I'm not against MC suffering the consequences of a demon boyfriend, far from it, but even if you don't go the direct route there's so many ways to do it.

Even just slowly losing your morals because all the demons (and old-ass human with some most likely odd moral quirks, if only from being alive so long in horrible times) around you treat horrible things as something as mundane as breathing. Even if they snap back at least acknowledging it is a huge step up.

I'd be terrified and paranoid 24/7 knowing everyone around me wants to literally eat me and has eaten humans before. Even if they hated the taste or something knowing they're capable of it is scary af.

Like a Beelzebub who truly doesn't mean to hurt MC but doesn't think twice about breaking their beloved pet's bones right in front of them. A Beelzebub that finds it just as hard to avoid eating humans as he did in the intro even when he knows he shouldn't harm MC's family.

Or even just a Beelzebub so wracked by guilt and light on morals that can't bring himself to not always enthusiastically take Belphie's side even when he knows it's hurting MC. A kind of parasitic relationship where Beel guilts MC into staying and helps Belphie trap & manipulate them in ways Belphie could never do by himself.

A Leviathan that finds it increasingly hard to keep his jealously inwards now that he has someone to fight for and can't feel secure unless he can feel their envy. A Belphegor that slowly manipulates MC into abandoning all of their responsibilities and friends until their life is ruined and they have to depend on him.

I get that some of them are a bit harder to do without reminding people of irl abuse they may have faced, namely Satan, Levi, Lucifer, and ofc Asmo, but there are ways to make it more supernatural and less mundane. Besides there are way, way worse otomes out there that don't even market themselves as dark like Obey Me did.

I find it interesting that so much of the fanbase absolutely hates those kind of themes when they're so hard to avoid in otome and it was kind marketed towards people who like it. Like I genuinely wonder how they heard about it and got through demons insulting & trying to kill them in the early days of Obey Me before you knew they got better.

In the end though none of that can really happen without routes imo. Those kind of storylines can't be done well in the 10 seconds of individual interaction we get, even a whole lesson is too little time. And again even people who like darker things might freak out when Asmo's the one doing it or get turned off by Levi so they won't risk their money. It's so frustrating seeing the lost potential and knowing it's probably never gonna happen.

Speaking of I always thought Mammon was pretty robbed too. Not only did he never have the same freedom to harm MC as the others, but he was also directly responsible for their safety. Like sure they'd all be punished, but you have a different mindset when an authority figure constantly makes you aware and you have more chances to bond.

I think even cannon Mammon would've been more dangerous and a lot more rude if he wasn't their babysitter. The others, except Satan & Belphie ofc, probably would've been "nicer" and more controlled knowing Lucifer was breathing down their neck too imo.

Like he does seem less violent and hot-headed than the others, but they're not the same circumstances. Even a while after the pact he'd probably sell MC in an instant if he knew he wasn't going to be severely punished.

A lot of his possessiveness feels like a dog guarding a bone rather than true jealously imo, even when they're doing it as endearing thing. People automatically assuming he was lying when he said he'd rather MC die than be saved by someone else, but was he really at that point? Just because someone is tsundere at times doesn't mean they're incapable of being honest or not that into someone.

That's also kinda what I meant by infatuation too. Like sure they could like a human, but that doesn't mean they'll be that upset when they die or will never get bored. It's kind of like those people that immediately get a new pet after theirs dies, or even before so they don't have to be without a dog for a single second. Or the kind of demon that wants to "ruin" you with their sin until you can't go on as the ultimate act of love, even though they know it'll kill you.

[handonhaven]

Okay Lizzie and Josie really pissed me off in 3x16. Like Hope just ran off with someone who tried to kill her and someone who manipulated Josie. With no clue why or where they were going. And Lizzie first thought was to try to find Hope a rebound. Not to try to find out where she went or if she was in any danger. And Josie was no help either she didn't bother to do any of those things. She just asked Lizzie with who. I also didn't like Lizzie comment either. When she said "we can't afford to be picky. Anyone who doesn't melt after having sex with her will do." Maybe it's just me and I'm taking that comment the wrong way. But when she said that I got so mad. Because what I took from that was being able to have sex is only thing that matters. So let's just try to hook her up with anyone. Doesn't matter if they're a killer or a psychopath as long as they can have sex then it's fine. I don't know maybe I'm just over reacting to that(but I can't be the only one to feel something like that after hearing that comment, can I?).

So, so many Handon scenes just hits so differently now knowing that Landon was really malivore. I'm not gonna lie after I found that out I went back and watched those scenes over again trying to see if I can find any clues or hints at it. But when I did that I start it to think about the fact that we had a whole season without the real Landon. Then I start thinking about the fact that Landon has had a whole season of going through trauma one right after the other since 3x02(when Raph died) and it only got worse from there. Then I got mad at the writers for doing that to him. It was bad enough that his life before coming to the school was hell. So were they just like yeah lets put him through a whole season a trauma too. Now before anyone says well Hope went through hell this season too. I'm not saying she didn't. But I feel like Landons was on a whole different level than Hopes. Because Landon had to watch his brother die, then had to watch himself melt, then he was in malivore, then in the prison fighting off monsters, to then having malivore take over his body. And who knows what he's going through in this own mind right now. But I think my biggest fear is that when they do get Landon back the real Landon. That they play off his trauma to save time(like they often do now). Or someone will try to downplay it like it was nothing. Because if they do that imma be pissed.

So I start it thinking about that maliLandon scene with Cleo when we saw both malivore's and Landons memories. And all of Landons memories were big Handon moments for season 2(I think there might have been some for season 1 but I can't remember). And I know they did that for a reason. I think in that scene it inspired both malivore and Landon somehow to do something. I just can't figure out what and I know myself this will be stuck on my mind until we finally find out lol. I'm already thinking up theories and all both make sense but don't make sense all at the same time. And this is really going to bug me.

P.S 1: I have to say this season had one very consistent thing, the "Logical" answer is wrong.

- Logic telling Hope, Landon was dead ....wrong

- Logic telling Hope, Landon was back.....wrong (Hope felt something was off but chose to ignore it bc she missed him)

- Logic telling Hope, she and Landon are doomed.....wrong

- Logic telling Cleo, to trust Landon and he was only traumatized.....wrong

- Logic telling them Malivore wanted Cleo to escape the prison world....wrong

- Logic telling them, the monsters were coming from a actual pit....wrong

- Logic telling Hope the only way to kill Malivore is to become a Tribrid.....wrong

- Logic telling Hope she caused Landon to melt.....wrong(okay I know we don't know for sure about that one. But that feels way way to much like a red herring with how much it's been said). Also another consistent thing is everything they say things Multiple times over and over again espesally things that have no concrete proof turns out to be False. They keep repeating these things; Landon is Human, Landon is dead, Landon is not a Phoenix anymore, Hope needs to become a Tribrid, Hope is toxic to Landon(once again I know we don't know for sure yet, but there's no way that isn't a red herring), Hope and Landon are doomed. Watch all turn out to be wrong.

2. The antis and H*sies are already coming out the wood works. And there this one line I see that they're really trying to hold onto like it's a win or something. How at the end of 3x16 when Hope said "we want our friends back" they're taking it like Hope sees Landon as a friend now(among other things but that would make this too long if I write it all out). Which is sad and means they're truly not paying attention to anything. And let me just point out that Hope was speaking for everyone not just herself. So it makes more sense for her to say "we want our friends back" then it would be for her to say "we want our friend and my boyfriend back". Since they're all friends with Landon and Cleo. Even though they're not very good friends to Landon(minus Hope because Hope is with Landon and treats him better than his "friends" does). But that's a whole other thing for another time. I do my best to say away from antis and H*sies but somehow one of them somehow always end up in my timeline. And it's gonna make these next three months so much longer than it needs to be tbh.

Same. Exactly! It was all so strange.

Lizzie was just upset over the fact that Hope ditched them, but Hope has always done stuff like that on her own to keep others out of danger. Yet Lizzie didn’t even seem to care, even though both her and Josie said they didn’t trust Clarke after all he had done. So they knew that Hope could’ve been in danger. But Lizzie’s highest concern in that moment was finding Hope a rebound as quickly as possible?? What on earth... And Josie acknowledged that Hope could be in danger, said she cared more about her actual life than her romantic one, but then proceeded to do nothing. And exactly! That comment really bothered me too! Yep, that’s also how it came across to me. Like Hope being able to have sex with someone was the priority, the rest wasn’t important. I don’t think you’re overreacting, I thought it sounded really bad. And the fact that Lizzie was focusing on that over Hope’s safety... I don’t even know what to say. Then Ethan shows up and they drag him into it, it was just a mess, and probably the weirdest way and time to bring in a love interest for Lizzie. Then they get to the school, are casually standing around chatting, then Lizzie wants to give Ethan a tour. All thoughts about Hope’s safety forgotten, besides Josie mentioning in passing that they needed to tell Alaric what happened. That was the full extent of their efforts to help Hope. Then she gets back and all they can talk about is how she ditched them? Not about what happened or if she’s okay? And they’re the ones who just promised Hope she wouldn’t be facing Malivore alone... not off to a good start.

And right? It’s crazy! Me too, watching the breakup scene is SO different now haha. But ugh, yes. We seriously had nearly an entire season without the real Landon... I can’t. And same. That’s one of the things I’ve been thinking about the most, and I’m honestly mad at the writers as well. Like, it’s actually shocking to think about just how much trauma he has gone through. And I don’t know what made them to decide to put him through that much because it’s unreal. Just... why?? So true, he had a lifetime of trauma before the show even started! Went through more trauma while at the school, going through death after death. And then went through the most horrible things this whole season. And yes, Hope did go through hell, but what she went through was very different. I agree, what Landon went through was on a whole other level. Exactly! He literally went through one trauma right after the other. And he went through them alone (apart from losing Raf). Without any help, and every single time he escaped one thing, he ended up in another and endured more trauma. He’s been through pure hell, nonstop, and I can’t imagine what state he’s in right now and how he’ll be when this is all over. Oh, and literally me. I’m honestly so worried they’re gonna do that too. That they’ll just ignore his trauma, that they won’t show how he’s been affected or have him talking about it. And it will just get cut off and forgotten and they’ll jump to the next thing and he may not get even a break. Because that really is what they do all the time. And right now is their chance to show what he’s been through. To go back and show what happened to him and show his side of things. We need to actually see what he’s been through and how he’s being affected right now. And once they get him back, they need to address it. They need to let him and Hope rest. I think season 4 needs to be about them healing together, though I’m sure they’ll be dealing with more crap. So I’m very worried about that, I will be pissed right along with you if they don’t go into that. That’s probably what I want to see the most at this point, and what I think is extremely important, not only for his character, but also because they shouldn’t ignore that kind of trauma.

And yes, they were! They had Landon remembering Hope telling him she loved him for the first time, and then those other huge moments for them, the 2x08 reunion, and the scenes in 2x11. I‘m wondering if those might be Landon’s most powerful memories. And I think you could be right, I’ve wondered the same thing, but I also can’t figure it out. Like they showed Handon memories with Malivore creating Clarke like... I’m so confused haha. They definitely left us with too many questions, and now we have to wait, it’s gonna suck.

Wow, you make very good points with that. That’s very interesting for sure. The writers really used “logic” as a way to mislead the characters in order to shape the plot for the season. And I think because of that, they also had to hold the characters back from investigating things further. When I feel like Hope, especially, would’ve looked into things more to figure out what was going on, but they couldn’t have them finding out yet so they just had everyone believing in the “logical” answer. Which does end up fitting with the idea that things are not what the seem, especially with all the things you listed that they keep repeating. Which does make it seem pretty obvious that they’re trying to convince us of these things that aren’t actually true. I think it’s gonna all turn out to be wrong as well. We already know it wouldn’t make sense for Landon to be fully human since he never was, and that he’ll surely get his Phoenix powers back. And I agree about Hope being toxic to Landon too, the more they’ve talked about it, the less I believe it’s true haha. And same now with them talking about Hope having to become a full tribrid, it seems like they might be doing the same thing. Or at least, if these things aren’t already wrong, Hope and Landon will find a way to prove them wrong by fighting their fate.

Yeah, those people clearly aren’t paying attention to the show and are grasping for anything at this point. Did they not watch Hope’s scenes with Clarke and how she responded to him talking about fighting fate? Did they not hear her literally tell Cleo that she still loves Landon? Obviously, Hope does not view Landon as just a friend. She was speaking for the group, just like you said. I don’t even think Hope sees Cleo as her friend right now. When Cleo told Hope that she hopes they can be friends again after all this, Hope said nothing and just walked away. So yeah, she was speaking for everyone else, although it’s weird that the rest of them would even view them as friends either. I’m pretty sure Kaleb is the only one who really sees Cleo as a friend. And true, they’re not even friends to Landon, none of them gave a crap when he died, so I’m not even sure why they were there. I guess since there’s a threat now? But anyway, yeah, I get that it’s hard to avoid those fans, the hate is everywhere. But knowing how ridiculous their reasoning is and how far they’re reaching helps me to just kind of laugh it off sometimes, although it is annoying. It gets so tiring to see, but I’m just gonna try to focus on enjoying Handon and ignoring the antis as best I can!

[thatwritingho]

I gotchu anon. This one hits close to home😔but tbh was pretty therapeutic to write

If you ever need someone to talk to about it, my dms are always open.

⚠️Obvious trigger warning for child abuse below the cut⚠️

You hated it, how even after all these years, just a string of words, a smell, a nightmare, anything that reminded you even slightly of that time could send you spiraling; amp up your heart rate, disrupt your breathing, force tears to your eyes, and steal your ability to speak. 

It was rarer, these days, for that all consuming feeling of dread and fear to overtake you. Time would never heal this, but it was easier to push it to the back of your mind, to go through the motions of your day to day like a semi-functional human being, with the trauma of days long gone buried securely behind multiple thick walls.

So rare, in fact, that you had never brought it up to your lover. Its not that you didn't trust them, far from it. Your conversations had merely never turned in that direction, and there was never a right time to just bring that up. You kept telling yourself that it didn't matter, that it was long in the past and you hadn't even had an anxiety attack in ages anyway. 

But now, here you were, curled up in your bed, blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders in an attempt to hold yourself together.

Your door opened and fear shot through you like cold fire, for the briefest of seconds you were that same scared little child again, expecting to see your abuser as your eyes shot to the source of footsteps. Relief washed over you like a warm wave as you saw it was not them, but your lover, their eyes full of barely concealed concern as they rushed to your side, taking your hands in theirs and searching your eyes.

"Whats wrong?"

You opened your mouth, but no words came, only a choked sob as tears spilled down your face. Your tongue felt like lead in your mouth, your jaw wired together by anxiety. Their grip on your hands tightened. 

It was time. You needed to tell them. You wanted to tell them. And so you took a deep breath, and told your story as best as you could.

Itachi:

Listens to you calmly and patiently, though inside his heart is breaking for you. 

He's almost relieved, in a way, that you're opening up to him

It explains so much, and he's kicking himself for not realizing sooner, for not seeing the signs, certain aspects of your behavior, for what they were and putting two and two together

Feels like a terrible boyfriend for not noticing and leaving you to deal with this on your own

But you're not on your own anymore

he may not totally understand your situation, but he's no stranger to traumatic childhood events himself

Makes it clear that he is going to support you and support you hard, making sure you know you can talk to him about this any time

He never brings it up first, but is always ready to listen

All in all yall already know he's perfect boyfriend material and this is no exception

Kisame:

Similar to itachi tbh

But even better

A great listener but also somehow knows exactly what to say???

"You have every right to be upset." 

"You're not defined by this."

"I'm proud of you for being so strong, but you're not alone anymore. I'm here to support you now."

Here king you dropped your crown👑

You will feel so much better after opening up to this man I swear it

He has def had to comfort someone close to him in this way before, maybe a sister or team mate

He's just too good to not have

But we all know his heart is just as big as his sword so its no surprise that he's like this

Has always been understanding when you're having a more difficult day, but now that he knows the cause of some of your actions is trauma, he knows just how to calm you down and ground you

100/10 marry this man or I will

Deidara:

Is stunned, tbh

Like he never fucking suspected

Feels like shit honestly, what kind of boyfriend is he that he couldn't even tell his lover was struggling with something so big?

Knows he shouldn't be making this conversation about himself, though, so he doesn't say any of that

His hand mouths kiss your palms to try to comfort you

Pulls you into a giant hug when you finish speaking and kisses your tears away

Oh shit but wait maybe you don't want to be touched right now? Thats a thing right?

Doesn't have any knowledge on this but he's trying ok

Is very open to any changes that come to your dynamics because of the new found news

Maybe a bit too open

Like completely stops initiating sex because he doesn't want you to feel pressured

And just all in all starts treating you like you're fragile

Its sweet, his heart is in the right place, but that isn't what you want of course

So you have to sit him down and tell him that you're still you, and he's still him, and that you don't want your relationship to change because of something that happened before you even met

That finally makes it click for him, and he goes back to his normal self pretty quickly

And he is always, always there if you want to talk about it. He may not understand, but he loves you and will do whatever he can to help you feel less alone

Sasori:

He done been knew

Well, he heavily suspected. I head canon him as an abuse survivor himself, and he recognized the signs

Knows how difficult it is to talk about, so he was just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to bring it up

Lowkey relieved, because even though its horrible, having someone else who understands that particular brand of trauma is rare

Especially for him since he's never opened up to anyone else like he has you

But he's also fucking furious

We all know Sasori views people as possessions 

And even though he loves you more than anything else in the world, he still feels that way about you too, to a smaller extent, but its there

So the thought that someone did that to something of his?

Oh he mad

But he has enough wherewithal to not let you see that burning rage while you're upset and confiding in him

He listens attentively, and gives you as much comfort as he can until you calm down

Finds some way to weasel out the identity of your abuser without upsetting you(ya boi is manipulative af)

Later has one of his spies hunt the person down and capture them, and then sneaks off and takes his sweet time to make them regret ever even looking at you

Might tell you about his own abuse sometime in the future. Maybe. 

Kakazu:

Its not often that Kakazu feels the need to put effort into holding back his anger

But this is one of those times

Because he is livid

He has always taken extra joy in collecting the heads of child rapists for bounties

He may be immoral in regards to most things, but that is a line that should not be crossed

And to think about that happening to you makes him want to kill

Makes a vow to himself as soon as the words leave your lips, that he will find the scum that did this and destroy them. Slowly. Painfully.

But for now he listens, holding you hands with as much gentle care as he can muster 

Kakuzu is at a loss for how to handle delicate, emotional situations like this. But he tries, for you.

Wiping away your tears and holding you softly, allowing far more cuddles and gentle affection than he normally would that night 

He feels that acting different around you after would be an insult to your ability to handle a problem you've been dealing with for years

But he can't help but be a little easier on you, letting you get away with more back talk or general acts of affection than usual

He may even surprise you with a few small gifts

That necklace you were eyeing in the last town? That new album by that group you like that just dropped? A collectors edition of your favorite book? 

As much as he hates spending money, he just can't help himself

Afterall, the fact that you trusted him, him, with this information makes him feel a bit squishy inside

Hidan:

Another one for team "I'll fucking kill them!"

But much more upfront about it

Unlike Sasori and Kakuzu, he does not have the sense to not let his rage be know to you while you're telling him

But then he sees how you shrink, how you curl further into yourself, how you start crying that much harder

"Fuck, baby, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you."

Once you calm down, you have to explain that him being angry and aggressive does not help when you're fighting off these memories

He feels like shit for upsetting you further

Go easy on him. You're the first person he's ever cared about. He's emotionally stunted but hes trying

Kind of just shuts up and let's you talk after that

Is lowkey amazed that you were hiding all these awful feelings this whole time

Is also lowkey amazed that you were able to function and seem so normal with them

Holds you close when you finish, and in the most serious, calm tone you've ever heard from him, promises that no one will ever hurt you like that again, and that he will make this person pay

They aren't worthy of being a sacrifice to Lord Jashin.

But you best believe Hidan will make them suffer 

Konan:

Sad girl is sad

Also not surprised, she knows how common it is for these things to happen

She's dealt with sexual harassment hersef

But her heart aches for you

Holds you tight, letting you cry into her shoulder and cling to her as much as you want

Soothingly stroking your back or arm or petting your hair as you let it all out

She can relate to many of the feelings you share

Is literally the only one who thinks to ask if you have any triggers

Not quite as supportive as Kisame, but still validates your feelings

"Its ok to be angry."

"You've been so strong."

"Be gentle with yourself."

Doesn’t let it affect your relationship 

But she is more understanding if you get in a mood

If you're being especially irritable or pushing her away, she may ask, "are you ok?" and give you a look

Its frustrating but also helps ground you

10/10 wifey I love her

Nagato/Pain:

Poor baby is devastated 

Also concerned

You've been hiding this pain from him all this time… why?

Do you not trust him?

Do you not think he could handle knowing?

All he wants is to take your heart ache from you, even if it means it becomes his

Lovers should share everything, including pain

And so you tell him, though teary eyes, that no, no, of course not, that's not it

Its just that every time you wanted to tell him, you just…  couldn't

How the trauma would cause your body to physically prevent you from speaking about it, even when you wanted to

You both end up crying 

He wants to know everything about how it affects you, physically, emotionally, all of it

The more he knows, the more he can do to help

Lowkey might have Konan pick him up a book or two on the subject, just to get a better understanding 

You already know he’s gonna obliterate the person who did this to you

Obito:

This man i swear

He's worse than Deidara

Finding out something so terrible happened to you, seeing how deeply its hurt you, has him crying right along with you

Feels helpless that he can't make it better

"I should have been there to protect you."

"Obito, we didn't even know each other."

"That's irrelevant."

Is super comforting though, kisses your fingers and plays with your hair and tells you how much he loves you

Very eager to do anything in his power to make you smile

"Is there anything I can get you, baby? Do you want a glass of water? Tea? Sake? How about some ice cream? A foot massage? New kunai? A private island? Want me to kill all the world leaders tomorrow?"

He's excessive but its cute and makes you laugh

Is the only one considerate enough to actually ask if you're OK with him killing your abuser

If you say yes, he'll also ask if you want to watch

There won't be anything left of the person after Obito is done with them. No blood. Not a scorch mark. Not even a stray skin cell. Nothing. He completely erases them from existence.

If you say no though, he's probably still gonna do it anyway, but make it look like an accident. He just can't let that person live after what they did to you. 

But hey, at least he asked first right?

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Don't leave me baby | #39

Anon: No. 39 ^-^ have a nice day. #2. Pfff I totally forgot a member to put it with. LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN 39 with Jungkook please

#39 “Don't leave me baby.”  Drabble game.

author’s note: This is a little mafia!au oh gosh, so much angst. i hopeyou like anon~~☺️ Summary: “I know it hurts, but please...stay.” 

“Don't worry Kookie, she'll be okay.” Namjoon pat Jungkooks shoulder, he couldn't begin to fathom how Jungkook was feeling. He tried to provide some comfort to the distrot boy but what could he say? He's been in the hospital waiting room for hours, the look on his face told all. Dark bags under his eyes, a blank stare and his leg twitched anxiety.

Namjoon had come back to bring him some food, water and make sure he was doing okay. Jungkook was traumatized and he could understand why. When he arrived at the scene he saw you gasping for air in Jungkooks arms, Coughing up blood as you struggled to breathe. Jungkook was in shock, choking out only a few jumbled up sentences as he tried to keep you conscious, ‘Hyung, there's so much blood Hyung, there's so much blood. Stay with me Y/N, come on, stay with me’. Honestly the more Jungkook said that, the more he thought you weren’t gonna make it. When the paramedics showed up with ear wrenching sirens—it was a matter of seconds before you were ripped from him. They had to pry your limp body from him, after that you went unconscious.

—It had to be one of the saddest thing he's ever seen.

Jungkook was being held back, he didn't want you to be in the paramedic truck alone, he needed to be with you. “Let go! I need to be with her! Let go!-” Jungkook was a mess, tears streaming down his face in frustration, the farther the paramedic trunk went, the more he lost control of himself. I had to drag him away from the large blood spot on the pavement.

And now he's sitting in the waiting room, refusing to leave until he knows you're out of surgery. The front desk lady was kind enough let him sleep in the waiting room. It was early when he was awoken by the sound of patients being discharged and brought in. Namjoon was sitting across from him, coffee in his hands as Jungkook groggily sat up.

“When-...what time is it?�� He stretched, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“7:30, I brought you some coffee.” He handed Jungkook the coffee and he grabbed it, sitting it on the coffee table beside him.

“Thanks...I need to clean up before I go check on her.” Jungkook got up, heading to the bathroom. When he came back, his fringe was wet from washing his face. He was a lot calmer now, he was just tired and emotionally drained, he didn't know how much longer he could wait.

“Sir?” A petite woman doctor came up to him.

“Yes? Is she awake? How was the surgery?” He shot up.

“She's awake and eating, she's recovering well but there's a few things you should know before you go in there. The operation took longer because we ran into a few complications- we didn't know she had anemia. She doesn't have an infection, so the operation it self was pretty smoothe. But, there is quite a lot tissue damage and-” When she looked up from her paper Jungkook was gone, past the hospital doors.

His heart was beating out of his chest, he didn’t know what he was about to walk in on; somehow, he gathered the strength to open the door. He cracked the door, looking at you with a soft gaze, immediately walking to the bedside—you looked good given your condition, but then again you always look beautiful to him

You peered up at him, slowly processing the fact that he was right there. “Hey...” You mumbled, a small smile coming to your lips as you thought of how pitiful you probably looked. He swallowed, he looked so scared but also relieved. He hesitantly extended his hand, touching yours lightly as he pulled a chair up to sit beside you.

“Hey...” He brushed the side of your jaw with his curled index finger. “They wouldn't let me go in with you, I'm sorry you were in here by yourself.” He looked down at your hands, they looked so fragile in comparison to his own—how could he have let someone so delicate get hurt like this?

“They operated for a long time, I was so scared, I thought- I thought the worse...Hyung wanted me to go with him but I wasn't gonna leave you here, so I stayed in the waiting room, the lady at the desk let me sleep there...” His nose had a light tint of pink, signaling that he was on the verge of tears.

“I love you Jungkook....” You cupped his face with the weak hand that had the IV in it. “But I- I don't know if-...” You couldn't get out the rest of your sentence, you but your lip to keep yourself from tearing up.

“If what?...” His brows furrowed in confusion.

You sighed uneasily. “You deserve to be with someone who can give you a family one day, Jungkook...I don't know if I can do that anymore...” 

“...What?” 

You didn't respond, he was smart enough to connect the dots. The gun shot wound was close to your vital organs, the doctor said carrying a child will be harder for you if you wanted to. You cried a lot after that. You asked the nurse not to let Jungkook in for a while or at least until you could come to good terms with yourself. But even now it was hard to really except your reality, this relationship was hard, this whole situation was hard and loving him had to be the hardest thing you've ever had to endure. But regardless of the pain,  you still loved him...

“What're you saying?...You mean, you want to?-...” He couldn't even get it out, he couldn't believe you actually wanted to call it quits, after all you've been through together, because you think he deserves more than you can give him. He could understand why you were so upset, he was upset too, but he would never leave you because of that—you meant too much to him.

“I-...I love you Kim Y/N, more than anything in this world...I don't care about having kids right now, all that matters is you being alive, safe and with me...One day we can settle down and try then-..but right now you need to recover, take time to heal and then we can worry about that.” Tears were already streaming down his pretty milky colored skin as he tried his best to stop sniffling. 

All that went through his mind was, ‘this is all my fault, this is all my fault’ 

“I know it hurts, it hurts me too...but I’m here, let me help you get through this please, just...” He trailed off, licking his lips anxiously. He pressed a damp kiss to the corner of your lips, making you to shut your eyes at the feeling—you loved that feeling he gave you. 

“J-Jungkook,” You stuttered, “don’t make this harder than it has to be...” If someone were to walk in right now they would think Jungkook was mourning a death. 

He held your hand to his cheek, loving the comfort he instantly felt when he’d feel your touch. “Don't leave me baby,” He shook his head, his warm tears dripping down his face and onto your hands, “please, I’m begging you, please, I can’t-...please, don’t leave me.”

my angel, 

my world,

just let me love you.

[finnyisanactualrayofsunshine]

But he DID burn them. Why did he had to kill them that painfully? He has a demon, couldn't he tell him to kill these Children without any pain? I still don't get why he burned them. Because he was traumatised at that moment? Well... that isn't a excuse for killing a bunch of children. And I'm not here to troll or anything, I'm totally serious.

I'm sorry I took so long to answer this. I intended to answer it earlier, but then I got caught up in seeing a lot of things that frankly disgusted me, blocking 30+ people, and having a complete breakdown due to stress and lack of sleep as well as a series of bad days due to personal issues with my own mental health. I'm not saying this for attention or sympathy (although to be fair I do try and get those things a lot). I'm just explaining that at that time I wasn't able to deal with answering this or getting more involved. The topic still really stresses me out so this will be the only ask I answer on the subject, but I am answering it. I'd also like to remind that this is entirely my interpretation and although I feel personally that it is the correct one, I'm not Yana and I can't say I have the final word on the subject. It's only my humble opinion and what I got out of it when I first read kuro and what I still get out of it now. My opinion hasn't changed, and it probably never will.So. As I said in the original salty post, there are multiple factors here, and I'm not saying that there is a wrong or right side to this. It's shades of grey. So I'll list what I got out of the scene, both good and bad, when I originally watched it having never interacted with the fandom or their opinions.So there's the basic matter of the PTSD attack. A lot of people bring this up as an excuse for his actions, which fine, is valid. He is a 13 year old, put in a horrifying situation, with an undeveloped brain that's probably barely functioning, having to make split second decisions. I don't think that really would cover it if he was still just going and killing some kids for shits and giggles though. It's still a bad thing to do right? So although I think he'd deserve some sympathy and understanding for that, that's not enough.LEADING to the second point which literally everyone forgets?? And was like a huge obvious plot point?? Which was discussed several times?? You fucks?? HE WASNT JUST BURNING THEM FOR KICKS OH MY GOD HOW THICK DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO INTERPRET IT THAT WAY JESUS CHRIST YOU DICKNUTS look. He looked at these kids and he saw that they would NEVER be able to have a life. He has terrible trauma himself and not to be melodramatic but it kind of ruined his life. THESE KIDS HAD IT WORSE AND HE KNOWS IT. Like, they were going to live a life of pain and suffering in the BEST case scenario. In the scenario that they have healthy rich supportive families. So what happens if their families don't support them the way they are now and drop them off at psychiatric hospitals which would DEFINITELY be abusive at that time?? What happens if they remain unresponsive to everyone and everything and their families die and they end up starving on the streets? All this included with what they're dealing with and carrying emotionally?? Ciel looked at them, saw that situation, and UNDERSTOOD that that is WORSE than death, and he only had a short amount of time to make that decision. He was a thirteen year old having a panic attack faced with the choice of whether to kill them without having any sort of consent from them (which would make it more of an assisted suicide, however they were not in a mental position to be making that choice for themselves) or leave them to what awaited them which in any situation was probably going to be worse than death. Was it the right decision? I don't know. I'm not saying it is. But saying he burned kids as if he did it for fun or to be a dick is the most basic one dimensional view of the story, and misses the entire point of the scene. It was an attempt at mercy. To add to that, there's literally the scene on the train where Ciel explains what I just said?? And then he goes to help the orphans that actually could still be saved?? He had literally no reason to do that, you absolute fucks. But y'all are determined to demonize him because you aren't thirsty for him, don't feel any sympathy for a trauma survivor, don't bother reading between the lines of the story, or want to fetishize his immorality (I don't mean that's everyone but a lot of people talk about him being evil in a weirdly sexual way, like calling him dirty, and it's VERY uncomfortable given the character and context.)However, I am in no way saying Ciel was in the right either. What he did was HELLA problematic. Of course it was. It wasn't evil, but it was problematic. You brought up the fire, couldn't he get Sebastian to kill them painlessly. That's absolutely right. Going with the above logic, fire is not the best way he could have gone about it. I think that has a lot to do with the first point, about the PTSD attack. Reminder, 13 year old kid, undeveloped brain, horrifying and traumatic circumstance. Unfortunately, he's not going to be thinking clearly. He's not able to. So yeah, it's bad that he went with the fire method, I absolutely agree. However, I can also understand. He wasn't able to coherently think the situation through, at best he could do was see the flame and come to that conclusion, as opposed to working through it and calmly asking Sebastian to quietly and painlessly kill them all. Once again though, I'm not saying that was in any way okay. I'm just explaining the reasoning, and that even the fire part was not with bad intent. Never the less, the action and choice was bad. There's also the matter of him playing god. Which is honestly one of the more problematic things about Ciel's character. I don't think Ciel is evil but he's definitely problematic with darker sides, and he has too much power through Sebastian and tends to play god. I think there's valid reasons why he chose to kill the kids. On the other hand, it wasn't his choice to make. Whatever way you look at it, he made a huge Fucking choice for a bunch of people with NO say in the situation, and yeah. That's...not good. I remember in like grade 10 we had a debate in civics about the death sentence and my arguement was "you can argue both sides, whether people deserve it or can be rehabilitated, whether it's more humane to kill someone or keep them in a concrete box their whole life...but what it comes down to is no human person should have the power to decide if someone lives or dies." And that's what this is too. Was he right or wrong? I don't know. I've thought about it a lot and honestly, I can't give you an answer for that. But it wasn't his choice to make. He should not have been deciding whether they were better off alive or dead, because it just. Wasn't. His. Choice. To. Make.So in conclusion. I'm in no way saying what he did was okay or good. But looking at it with the viewpoint of "uh he burned a kid, evil, blocked and reported." doesn't make any sense. It was a complicated situation with several sides you fucks. As my fave said when I brought this up, "are we even reading the same manga as them?"Also disclaimer, I've already been salty about this for too long on my blog, so this is the LAST thing I am saying on the subject. I would strongly prefer that people don't reblog or add comments, partly because this is just my opinion and official statement on a subject that bothers me and several of my close friends, and partly because for personal reasons to myself that frankly aren't the business of strangers on the Internet, I am TERRIFIED of people arguing with me or getting angry with me and I have been in a really bad place this week because of the previous drama so hey, show some sympathy to your neighbourhood Lau ho and let me live my life in peace, drama free. And on that note, if I ever do post things that are salty and likely to start drama, I want you all to understand the magnitude of how much that thing upsets me, that I'm risking people beefing me over it. Anyways thank you, and goodnight.