#honestly i think this is the thing that upsets me the most about DT especially with how dark and thought provoking ff9 actually is vs

[icicleteeth]

DT will only be saved for me if they lean even more into FF9 I'm so serious

[inchidentally]

https://www(.)autosport(.)com/f1/news/stella-singles-out-exceptional-japan-f1-podium-as-piastris-2023-highlight-/10559510/

I think you've posted about Andrea Stella's relationships with Lando and Oscar before and I've been thinking about this and just needed to share my thoughts with someone.

when Oscar talks about his best weekends, its always Qatar where he felt like he really maximized his result and SIlverstone which he talks about as one of his most complete performances despite missing that podium.

When it comes to Japan and his first podium, it's like he's happy with the result and what that meant for the team, but it's not actually a weekend he reflects on super positively in terms of his race. I feel like he's never the one bringing it up, it's always like a reporter being like "and Japan?" and he's just like "yeah I guess that was nice too", but he doesn't really talk about it as a personal highlight (even though I'm sure he isn't like... upset over it, just not a performace he rates as his strongest).

all that to say I love that Andrea actually picks out his qualifying performace there as a highlight of his season, because it was! it just feels really subtlely supportive of him to bring up a moment that Oscar doesn't really talk about himself, and kind of got lost in all the comparisons or race pace between him and Lando.

idk i just needed to tell someone this lol

oh anon and I am so glad you shared it with me bc I wanna go offfff

truly this quote is the kind of thing I could see making Oscar feel emotional about and puff up with pride. it's the sort of meticulous score card that his big brained A-levels overachieving ass must eat up with a spoon:

"In terms of speed, in terms of capacity to learn very rapidly, in terms of collaborating with his engineers and extracting the information that he needs to grow so rapidly, in terms of his own awareness of where he is in the various stages to go from: ‘I know nothing about this track, first time in a Formula 1 car' to being P2 on the grid. And also the way he keeps himself calm, controlled – therefore always capitalising on his potential because he doesn’t create any unnecessary stress - that’s quite exceptional. And I can see why he was so successful in junior categories."

and god, the stern but loving dad role Andrea has taken with Lando and Oscar. especially when you think from Oscar's perspective how he was coming into a team fresh off of a dramatic court case and filling a seat that everyone - including Lando - was still deep in mourning over. from what I remember Oscar's "promo" by McLaren was more like something they'd do to announce a new reserve driver rather than Lando's new teammate. especially considering the weeks of emotionally overwrought posts and content about Daniel leaving. I'm guessing a lot of that had to do with trying to mitigate the comment sections turning rancid on any Oscar content (and I'm being generous saying that). but there was exceptionally low fanfare attending Oscar's arrival, especially considering him having such a scorching record coming up to F1.

so for someone like Andrea to come into his new role and choose to watch Oscar so closely when Oscar was honestly sort of - either ignored or still hated bc of Daniel and Alpine - during those races before Silverstone has come good in the huge revolution of public opinion about Oscar. Lando was already comfortably at home and only needed a little managing. side note I love how many times in challenges Lando would pretend to pout and say "Andrea said there has to be balance and fairness between teammates sooooo" akgfkasgs he had Lando's number already <3

but for all that Oscar has been a trooper about having to kind of operate without the kind of consistent found family that Lando has and dealt with the press and DTS dutch angle drama interviews in such a mature way idk. I feel like sometimes Oscar sees himself as only existing as one of the drivers once he's actually in the car. he's never found that footing of becoming one of the F1 personalities the way that even Logan has (thank you Williams and thank you Alex).

a lot of the time you could confuse Oscar's presence in the garage and the paddock with another engineer. and tbh when you consider how much of an online meme he was in F2 and F3 and how strong his twitter game was it definitely feels like he's intentionally suppressing his personality to maybe ? just get through his rookie F1 season with as little drama as possible. I've gone on and on and on abt how Prema Oscar would have made the perfect fan favorite dynamic with Lando the same way he was with Arthur or Robert. but Oscar's personality has only come out on camera a few times and otherwise he just watches Lando or stiffly gets through his own parts.

that's why I had to compile these instances of Andrea seeking Oscar out and being so incredibly tender with him. Lando is the always beloved child at McLaren and he absolutely earned that. but he was also definitely thrown by Oscar choosing to go so quiet and under the radar - I don't think in a bad way, but I will be interested to see the clips from DTS that haven't been chopped to hell so we can get a better glimpse of that.

but someone in higher authority than Lando needed to go out of their way to regularly remind Oscar that yes, he's One of The Big Boys and yes, McLaren is his home now. he has as much right as the rest of the drivers all feel to stand up and ask for what they want and speak for themselves and even cause a little trouble if they feel they need to. an F1 grid are always drama queens to some degree because they're basically the lead singers of a band. they had to as Lando rightly said "be fairly selfish" to get to their rarefied position. not that they're bad people at all, just that they have to treat themselves as of utmost importance in order to achieve the performance and mentality to even get a shot at F1. but not only is Oscar not naturally like that (his forms of self-care involve sleep and seeing friends lol) he certainly wasn't going to stir things up anymore than he already had.

but! what Oscar does have is incredible courage, unflappable calm and towering competitiveness. like I said once he gets in the car his focused self-belief overtakes everything else. the amount of times his rookie season it was down solely to the car or to other drivers that resulted in taking him out of a race or knocking him down the grid as opposed to pure rookie error or personal mistakes is amazing. and guess who said that back in August:

"For us being in this journey with Oscar, it makes it even more exciting, because it was very clear right from the start – the level of talent.

“Even the analytical behaviour, looking at things, trying to learn, and at the same time always remaining very calm. He is able to absorb things, execute things, always staying very calm, which I think is a strong point of Oscar.”

and guess who gives us some of the best insights to the kind of driver Oscar is when no one else can? (apart from sexy daddy Mark ofc)

“I think the quality which, if you want, maybe one of the key enablers [of] why he can grow so rapidly is just the man beyond the driver,” Stella told GP Blog. “He’s so calm. He’s so good at keeping himself in a status in which he can use the best of his talent.

“I don’t have that quality, I have to think very actively about ‘What am I thinking? What are my emotions?’ I have to think about my psychology to actively keep myself in the most productive state. For Oscar, this seems to come quite naturally. That’s the main enabler.

“I think he, potentially, has a natural gift. Or, maybe he worked throughout his young career through that. I don’t know. But, certainly, he’s remarkable. And even when I’ve seen great drivers currently or in the past, all of them sort of sometimes underperformed because they don’t stay in the status in which they give their best. I think, for Oscar, this is quite natural.”

oh and guess who also tells us the most about the fact that Lando has taken his role as established driver and leader seriously wrt Oscar and how well they've complemented each other?

“So Lando can say ‘ok, we can do this in this corner’, and so on. And likewise, obviously, for Oscar with Lando. The second element, which is remarkable this year, is how similar the comments are between the two drivers.

“And this is not only in the off-line debriefings, but it's also when the drivers come back after they run the first run during a session. They actually use the same terminology, like it looks like they are in communication before reporting their feedback.”

papa is giving his boys their props!! they did him proud and he's not going to hold back on telling the world!

and I even love how Lando and Oscar both choose Silverstone without any hesitation as their favorite race of 2023 and that Lando said how much Oscar deserved to be up there with him. that's exactly what Andrea had instilled in them and shows his values have fully sunk in.

you're absolutely right anon, we should never forget that Andrea is the one who went to Oscar when Oscar needed it and that Andrea established the team culture that has let someone like Oscar thrive at the same time as someone so different from him like Lando.

.

.

articles sourced:

[fcb-mv33]

daniel stans: max B-A-D! needs daniel to repair his PR image and make him likable.

daniel stans: lando B-A-D! -insert conspiracy theory of your choice about how he's talentless and only outperformed daniel due to favoritism-

daniel stans: oscar B-A-D! hope he flops for sealing my amazing, talented baby waby's seat!

then there's me, hoping he just decides to retire and get into commentating or something because he can't even go to a team as a 3rd driver without his stans spreading toxicity everywhere he goes.

and frankly, I'm just going to say it: i know other max fans get frustrated at the way checo fans talk about max. trust me, i don't like it either. but as someone who supports both red bull and mclaren, trust me when i say daniel's fans would be much worse.

lots of dts converts who legitimately believe daniel was better than max and had to leave red bull because they were needlessly favoring max (basically the same shit you hear about lando and mclaren), lots of people who genuinely believe every other driver is evil and needs goofy daniel to teach them how to be good/fun people, lots of people who were literally willing to put their entire fucking moral code aside and harass the social media admin of a mental health charity because "oh my god, you allow mclaren to promote your charity when they just fired my fav multimillionaire driver? you're absolutely useless!!!" also like, checo fans will make shit conspiracy theories about max needing favoritism to win or beat his teammate or whatever, but Dan stans take conspiracy theories to a whole new level. most of the shit you've seen about how lando got into f1? completely inaccurate, started by a salty dan stan who couldn't accept him being outperformed.

like I do think, especially if the frontrunners are closer and checo doesn't improve his performance, red bull should look into replacing him, but trust me - replacing him with daniel would do NOTHING for the toxic teammate (remember, he left because he couldn't accept being 2nd driver to begin with) or the toxic fan dynamic the team is already dealing with.

You really just dropped the best anon I’ve gotten and dipped oh my god😭😭

But I agree with all of this. The amount of people who are saying how Daniel being back is going help Max for his image and show him how to be fun again is literally a joke. If people watched red bull content over Sky Sports they would see that Max is literally so fun, so nice and so chill when he’s around people he is comfortable with. The Lando and Oscar thing I agree with too, neither have done anything wrong at all. Oscar got a seat he deserved and Lando was racing which is what he is there to do yes McLaren fucked up calls for Daniel but that isn’t Lando’s fault and the amount of people wishing Oscar the worst season ever are just fucking annoying and constantly commenting under his posts are fucking weird.

I don’t mind Dan being here for PR honestly I don’t overly car but I wouldn’t want him in the car cause of his fans who have in all honestly turned me off him. They shit on Max, Christian and red bull so much, saying how now they have to support them, I’ve seen some people saying how they want Max or Checo to get sick but Dan left he did that. Like look I’m glad he’s happy and he’s content with his decision but he isn’t the driver, he is there to drag in the views but I’ve already seen people commenting under Max posts “give us Daniel” and all that shit and honestly the thought of just reading all of it is annoying. There was an article about how Max wants to do his own sim time and people were jumping to abuse him cause they interpreted it as him not wanting Daniel to do it…like tf.

The thing with DTS did really annoy me cause Daniel must have known that Max was being unfairly treated but he was getting the best coverage cause he was portrayed as the fun, happy driver and anyone who upset him deserved to be abused. At least Max stands up for the others who got fucked over as well, he doesn’t ignore it. Like he is a grown ass man who has not preformed and as you said the social media admin got abused for literally nothing and it will always be funny for me to see them and other talking about mental health when they abuse Lando and Oscar and every turn.

I think he should have never left Renault and he fucked up and now he’s back because he didn’t want the Haas seat cause he doesn’t want to be at the back but he also doesn’t want to be second to Max??? Like right now he isn’t a first driver personally I think for a top team. If Checo got dumped then I’d prefer to see an actual red bull youngest take it tbh. Daniel coming back into this team is for PR and that’s all I can see it being, I can’t see him being a number 1 in a top team and I can’t see him being number 2 with Max unless he drops the ego

[arhvste]

❝ kuroo tetsurō - time skip hcs ❞

tetsu week masterlist

-> obviously kuroo has a busy career

-> but that doesn’t mean he’s too busy for you

-> theres no such thing as ‘too busy for y/n’

-> he’s thinking of you all the time while he’s working

-> and you know this because he’s constantly texting you at work

-> will literally send you a photo of a paper clip and be like ‘it’s silver and silver is pretty like you 🤩’

-> pack it up simp 😐

-> but he’ll call you during his breaks too of course

-> tells you how much he misses your voice

-> even though he hears it everyday

-> honestly, the man lets you live rent free in his mind while he’s at work

-> had a framed photo of the two of you on his desk

-> and then another frame just of you

-> why?

-> because he likes the compliments he receives because you’re so good looking

-> he he finds motivation in the picture reminding him that he’s doing his best for you

-> this one co worker made the mistake of complimenting you a little too far for his liking though one time

-> “woah who’s that! they’re way too hot to be with you kuroo!”

-> kuroo just kinda looks up from his laptop and is like 🤨

-> kuroo’s a likeable guy who doesn’t have many enimies

-> this particular guy who works several desks over happens to crawl under his skin a lot though

-> “are they in your family or something? friend? can i have their number?”

-> “why would i have a single photo of a family member or friend on my desk? i’m married to them you fool.”

-> “oh. 😀”

-> “yeah. ‘oh.’ now shoo, unlike you i have actual work to do. 😌”

-> he’ll absolutely tell you all about it and even try and sneak a picture of the guy to send to you

-> ‘look at what creature just hit on the photo of you on my desk 😹’

-> the two of you will send back photos of shrek, a bugs life and other exaggerated characters to compare the guy to for the rest of the afternoon

-> everyone knows who you are but not just because of the photos on kuroos desk

-> he doesn’t shut up about you

-> will never fail to mention you at least once during the day

-> “kuroo-san, why don’t you come out for lunch with us?”

-> a small group of his colleagues are crowding round his desk waiting for his answer

-> two of the women are battering their eyelashes at him in hopes of attracting kuroos agreeance

-> “thanks, but i’m meeting with y/n for lunch. 😼”

-> you wouldn’t catch kuroo willingly dead eating out with his coworkers

-> he gets along with them sure

-> even would consider a handful of them friends

-> but he’s either eating with yourself, bokuto and hinata or kenma

-> you guys are the people kuroo likes to spend his free time with and it’s always you guys he will turn to first

-> you especially

-> if you’re not available and none of the others are either, kuroo will begrudgingly go to lunch with coworkers every so often if he has to just to get them off his back

-> but he’ll always make sure to text you and maybe even call you at some point leaving the women of the group jealous and upset

-> and as they should be

-> kuroo is a married man who wears his wedding ring like a gold olympic medal

-> and everyone knows this so they shouldn’t even bother trying for his attention

-> it doesn’t matter you’re not physically there with him in person

-> you’re always at the back of his mind and it’s obvious for anyone to see

-> but one day you do come into work to surprise him

-> he’s in his office and gets called down to the ground floor to pick up some important files for his team

-> of course there’s a receptionist that always crosses the line

-> “hello kuroo-san, you’re looking particularly handsome today.”

-> he cringes but smiles as he looks through the assigned slots for the that should be left in the one with his name on it

-> “here let me help you” she chimes in strutting over to him

-> she bends down in a sultry manner but her efforts go to waste as not only does kuroo not even look down at her

-> but he kicks her by accident

-> “ah shit, sorry”

-> but he’s hella confused too because why the hell is she looking at the bottom slots when his is near the top

-> he helps her up and lets her go immediately as he retrieves the files needed

-> “i think you owe me for that. how about dinner tonight?”

-> kuroos just like : 😐

-> why doesn’t this woman know he’s married?? everyone knows he’s married??

-> “sorry, he’ll be dining with me. at home.”

-> he turns around and there you are approaching him like a whole angel

-> “y/n!! i’ve missed you!!” he smiles and envelopes you into a tight hug before pressing a soft kiss to your face.

-> literally doesn’t care who’s watching

-> his precious y/n is here and nobody else matters

-> everyone in the office knows he whipped though so the ones that do see him just kinda nod at you and go on with their day

-> the receptionist lady : 😿

-> you end up spending the whole day at his office

-> and you even get to accompany him on a quick trip to the adlers

-> kuroo loves when you visit him at work

-> but he loves coming home to you everyday even more

-> knowing that he’s coming gone to open arms from the one he loves the most is his biggest source of motivation all day, everyday

dt - @aislastetsu

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @toffees-main @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @tsukkaria @kuxredere @warakou @mattsuny @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[chlodani]

This is my new smau. It's a Sokka x F!Reader pairing smau. Title: More Than A Roommate

Trigger warning: Mature! Slight swear warning! If your sensitive to mature language and swearing, I've warned you ahead of time. Fluff warning!

Y/n's new roommate seems intensely interested in her life and wants to know everything about her. She's flattered and a little freaked out, but it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Though she thinks it's a problem that he's so handsome and their living together. But what will he do when he finds out Y/n's a Firebender? Will he accept her for who she is or will he shut her out because of his bad past with the Fire Nation?

Special Edition Part 8. . .

Part 9 coming soon. . .

Y/n's P.O.V.

I sighed as I set my phone down on the couch beside me. I turned my phone down to vibrate. After Jet I honestly don't want to talk to anyone else tonight. Maybe spending this time with Jet will help me. I know we broke up, but honestly it was my fault why we broke up. I dumped him. And that was because I was leaving the Freedom Fighters and I couldn't stay with him. I had duties in other places and I had to leave. I made Jet think it was his fault. Mainly because it was too painful to tell him the truth. Now things are just too complicated. I still have feelings for him, and I have feelings for Sokka. I dont know what I'm supposed to do as of right now. I was afraid Sokka was gonna be mad at me and now I dont know what to do. The doorbell sounded throughout the apartment. I took in a deep breath before walking over to the door. I was nervous to open it. I haven't seen Jet in a few years. But as I said, maybe it'll help me. I opened the door to Jet standing there with a six pack of dt. Pepsi cans, and a bag with chips, popcorn and chocolate. He smiled as he held them up.

"Hey, I brought your favorite," he told me with a smile.

Without knowing what I was doing at that moment, I attacked him, by throwing my arms around his neck, hugging him. It took him way by surprise as he accidentally dropped the bag of snacks. Though he didnt hesitate to put his free arm around me, pulling me closer to him. He practically buried his face in my neck.

"Thanks for comin' Jet," I said to him on the verge of tears.

Jet took in a deep breath.

"I missed you so much," Jet said to me softly.

After realizing I was still hugging him, and now things were awkward as hell, I cleared my throat moving away from him.

"Well, please step into my apartment," I said to him.

Jet picked up the bag.

"Gladly," he spoke seeming happy.

I closed the door as he walked in.

"I see you've got most of the place set up," Jet said to me as he set the stuff on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Yeah, - I've got Ghost Hunters qued up on the DVR, - and also blankets on the couch -"

"So we can cuddle?"

I gave him a cocky look.

"So we can comfortable, -"

Jet gave me a devious smile. I laughed as I walked over to the couch.

"Dont be an a*s," I told him as I sat down.

I picked up one of the blankets, covering myself. I shivered as Jet stood behind the couch, directly behind me.

"I'm gonna go freshen up in the bathroom, - Where is it?" Jet asked me leaning closer to me.

"Uh, just down the hallway, next to Sokka's room," I answered.

Jet gently and on purpose, touched my shoulder as he walked away. I think he knew I still had feelings for him and he was gonna do everything he could to prove that to me. I sat there waiting almost impatiently for him too return. I found myself wanting him to be in the room with me. I thought about checkin my phone but I didn't. Tonight I just wanna forget about my troubles. As Jet stood back in the living room, he turned the lights off. Leaving just the lights of the tv in the room. I looked back at him, just staring at him.

"What? It makes watching the TV that much more entertaining," Jet said to me in an innocent tone.

"Mhmm, and is there any reason why you're wearing your shirt unbuttoned?" I asked him.

"Its hot in here,"

I scoffed, "It is not hot in here, I have the AC on,"

"Oh, then it's just me,"

I smiled as I rolled my eyes.

"Get your dumb a*s over here before I change my mind and make you leave,"

Jet moved around to sit next to me. My stomach jumped as he did.

"Na, you couldn't - You need someone right now,"

I pressed my lips together in slight annoyance.

"Yeah, - Sadly you're right - Its too bad it had to be you,"

Jet pretended to be offended.

"Ouch,"

In a soft gesture, he put his arm on the back of the couch, motioning that he wanted to put his arm around me. I dont know why I did it, but I moved closer to him, snuggling up next to him, letting him put his arm around me. I remember when this was me and Sokka. I'm afraid he wont be coming back. I let myself get closer to Jet. I'm afraid this wont end well.

Later that night. . .

I leaned away from Jet, sitting back up on the couch. Jet had a concerned look as he looked at me.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Jet asked me concerned.

"Yeah, - I think so -"

I looked at him as I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Jet I want to thank you for spending time with me tonight. I didn't really wanna hang out with anybody, but you've helped me forget about my problems, pretty easily," I said to him in a soft voice.

"It always was easy for me to help you forget about your problems, -"

I looked at him as he moved closer. He used his finger to move a piece of my hair from my eye.

"Especially the way I used to do it," Jet said to me as he rested his hand on the side of my neck.

He moved even closer, almost touching his lips to mine. I moved away from him slightly. He backed away. I thought he would feel embarrassed, but he didnt.

"Listen Y/n, one of the reasons I wanted to find you was to tell you that, I really miss you, and that I love you. I want us to get back together," Jet explained to me confidently.

"Jet, I don't-"

"Y/n, I know the real reason you broke up with me,"

An oh sh*t look crossed my face.

"You do?"

"You broke up with me because you were leaving and you were going to miss me. You only made it seem like it was my fault, because you thought it wouldn't hurt as much. - I know you still love me, just as much as I love you- You cant deny it,"

I scoffed, adding a laugh.

"Yes, I can,"

Jet moved closer, putting his hand on my knee.

"Tell me you dont feel anything when I touch you,"

He didnt move his hand from my knee. My stomach was turned inside out. I tried to lie to him. Though I couldn't look him in the face.

"I dont feel anything for you anymore,"

"You're lying to me,"

"No, I'm not,"

Jet moved his hand farther up my leg. I could physically feel the shivers.

"Then look at me,"

I still didnt want to. I didnt want him to win. He moved his hand resting it on my hip.

"You sure you dont feel anything?"

I still said nothing. He moved even closer, running his hand slowly and softly up and down on my arm.

"What about now?"

I quickly put my hand on the side of his neck, connecting our lips, kissing him passionately. He seemed satisfied as he smiled into our kiss, moving even closer to me. He moved close enough to hover above me, holding himself up with the arm of the couch. In a quick instant he took off his shirt, tossing it to the floor. I might've given him the wrong impression.

. . .

Sokka's P.O.V.

I was very curious as to why Y/n wasn't answering my texts. I thought at least she would want to try to fix our relationship - our friendship. She means the world to me. I admit I'm a huge a*s for ignoring her and getting mad at her. I was just upset that she lied to me. I dont care that she's a Firebender. She's still amazing, and caring and loving. Even more than Zuko. Honestly, I would love to see her practice her Firebending. As long as she doesnt set our apartment on fire. I dont think we have the insurance for that. I quietly unlocked the door. Only to have my heart ripped out, when I saw her kissing a shirtless guy on our couch. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't get the words out. I didnt want to, but I couldn't help myself as a single tear fell from my eye. I slowly turned around and walked back out of the apartment.

If you dont want to be a part of the taglist let me know and I will remove you. I will not unless you ask me to.

Taglist:

@cece-lives-here

@sokkas--boomerang

@la-lay

@cuddlykoala101

@zukochi

@mochminnie

@theblueslytherin

@coldlilheart

@coconutsaiyan

@rosestyles69

@juniperwoodwell

@crazylokonugget

@fanficflaneuse

@dailytrashypanda

@feelingsarefxtxl

@my-friends-text-posts

@cosmicqueenieb

If you want to be apart of the taglist message me or reply. I'd be happy to add you

[coldtomyflash]

100% not trying to be rude or anything but as my mother is an abusive alcoholic, I found your post about alcoholism and family members super insensitive. There is a rather disturbing trend on tumblr to glorify addicts in many respects (both by finding it cool/funny as portrayed and by getting mad at anyone who dares point out it's problematic behavior, often using the same terms my mom did to justify why I wasn't allowed to ever get upset over her addiction). You really made light of alcoholism.

I hate to do this, but I have to respectfully disagree with you that I was making light of it. 

I’m sorry that that is something that you experience and it’s a terrible thing to experience. I’m also sorry if I ended up using language about the topic that’s been used to silence you; it was definitely not my intent to bring up any trauma or triggering material in that way, and I don’t routinely chat with other people online about this to see what language they use to couch these issues in.

However, my post wasn’t about glorifying addicts in any way, nor was it making light of it. I would literally never do either of those things. I won’t pretend I always word things in the best way, and I’m just as fallible as the rest of us, but if that was what you took from that then please know: that wasn’t the intent or the message I was working to convey. 

The most I was doing was pointing out that it’s impossible to physically change someone or to force them to change their behavior, and that forcing an alcoholic to go cold turkey can be physically dangerous depending on their level of dependency (untreated DTs have a mortality rate of up to 35%).

I’m not saying we shouldn’t encourage addicts to get help and to change. We should. We should always work toward a healthier society. I’m saying the team can’t force Mick to. The most they can do is either support him or else, truly, they could give him an ultimatum and say that he has to change or else he can’t be around. Which is well within their right if he mistreats them, and especially if he mistreats them while drinking. 

And ultimatums that arise like that, where we choose not to be around people unless they change, are completely justified. These things occur frequently when people we know are addicts because we’re powerless to force their hand. And it’s an ugly situation every time it happens. So of course each and every person is allowed to be upset over addiction - upset and heartbroken and frustrated and angry. It is a terrible thing, I won’t ever pretend otherwise.

But this all touches a bit on something else, which is mistreatment. And I want to note that abuse is also different from addiction. Addicts can be abusive, and some people are a lot more abusive when they drink, and I’m not ever going to excuse that and I absolutely think there should be consequences for it. 

But in the case of Mick, I wasn’t talking about the way he treats others, I was talking specifically about the volume of alcohol he takes in, and how it’s not really Leo’s place to dictate that for him (nor is Leo really physically capable of it, just as in the real world most of us can’t physically dictate what the people around us consume, even if we sometimes wish we could).

So… that’s what I was saying. And I want to add: I say all of this as someone who’s seen it. You and I might have different perspectives and experiences with alcoholism, but I’d never make light of it because I have spent my entire life knowing addicts. 

I don’t honestly believe I should have to justify my answer with my personal experience, but to give you some background: I have lived with addicts (roommates / family), I have addicts as family members (though not abusive ones), my parents were both raised by addicts and my mother in particular was raised by two incredibly dysfunctional and, in many ways abusive, addicts. She’s told me a story of witnessing her own mother in the throes of DTs and almost dying because of it; she literally put her own head through a wall. This is a woman who was 5 feet tall and a hundred pounds soaking wet. I lost both of these grandparents to young deaths because of health problems caused by their alcoholism. I spent my childhood knowing addicts and watched substance abuse completely destroy my best friend’s family (a family that was honestly like family to me) and saw the incredibly harsh realities of that… just too often, too much. All the time. And I still know several addicts today with varying degrees of how “functional” their addiction is. 

Ultimately, I choose to love and support these people when they’re ready to change, but I know I can’t “fix” their addiction or make the underlying problems go away. I can only help them when and where I’m able, and when they’re not well and not safe or healthy to be around, or if they become abusive, or else when my own behavior is only going to enable theirs, then I check myself out of the situation. But that’s a choice I’ve had to make and been able to make, and I would never fault another person for how they make their own choices in this regard.

So… this is the reality I’ve learned about addition based on my experiences and the experiences of all the people I personally know who have coped with addiction. Yours might be different, and that doesn’t make them (or mine) any less valid. It is what it is. But that’s why I can’t apologize for saying what I said. Because I stand by it and I believe it. 

The team can encourage and support Mick through recovery, they can ensure there are consequences for his abusive or damaging behavior so they don’t enable him, but they can’t fix his addiction or force him to change. And with respect to Leo and Mick, I still maintain that you can’t have a stranger come in and start making choices dictating an addict’s behavior (when that addict doesn’t want to change and isn’t ready to) and expect it to work out in a way that’s healthy or productive for anyone in the situation. I hope it helped serve as a wake-up call for Mick, but it’s still not Leo’s place to do that.