#honestly i like to imagine this is a running bit with them: sometimes ellie finds a goofy piece of glam while adventuring

[elliewiltarwyn]

chomp.

Ellie has been somewhat insufferable about her Figments of the Shallows ever since she found a pair while scouring dungeons with friends for treasure. Mia and Lily are actually both equally amused by the way she keeps play-chomping their heads with them, but sometimes a little stubborn bit of pride resurfaces in Mia from the early days of their relationship, so she puts on airs of annoyance as much as she can.

(with thanks to the map buddies for the lucky drop :3)

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Can you make a list on who you think is the most to least reliable of the RFA (+ Minor Trio if you want!) when it comes to pets 👀

gasp you know what yes (I've been wanting to make some lists for a while -maybe least to most bottom of each of the RFA characters LMAO-)

MysMe characters least to most reliable with a pet and what pet would they have:

11. Rika

LMFAO bet ya didn't expect that did ya!? Nah you probably did, anyway the reason why she's the least reliable for a pet it's kinda obvious, first of all, she would refuse to get her pet treatment when it almost turns blind and ma'am? Please help your dog???

Also if at any time the pet dies she would start another cult so let's not risk it with her. Instead of an animal maybe give her a rock instead pfttt (actually wait-no she'd probably throw it at our poor mint coloured hair boy just give her a dog plushy it smth she can't be trusted with alive things)

10. Saeyoung

You may be asking me, Amanda, why, Saeyoung absolutely loves cats he'd be a cool cat dad, and yes, you're right. But you also don't understand that this man's love for cats goes SO far that he will actually cause chaos all around him. He'd give the cat SO many treats, not only that, but he'd also cuddle them, and that's nice tight? Wrong. This man will try to stretch the cat, grab it and twirl it around, reenact the lion king and do the 'Simba' bit and everything. Not only that he'd completely use it to prank Zen and everyone else, overall, he'd be a great pet owner but it'd be too much chaos so let's just stick with loving cats from afar.

Also I feel like he'd get a snake for some reason, and he'd dress them up in like a fancy bowtie a hat, or an iguana or chameleon y'know? He'd go for the amphibian type :o

9. Ray

I love our boy, I really do, but honestly how do you expect him to take care of a dog if he can't take care of himself. 😢

Actually scratch that, if he had a dog he would definitely love it and spoil it, and we live for that but also:

honey focus on yourself too we don't want you to D I E

Maybe give him a hamster or smth, while he's hacking away and watching MC in their room the hamster will be spinning on it's wheel super happy

Or he can have some cute fishes 🐟🐠

And like his brother, because great minds think alike, maybe a chameleon. He'd be pretty scared of them at first but he found one under some flowers and decided to rescue it, and now he sort of ended up adopting it :D

Although I find it pretty unlikely that he'll get a pet, he's more into flowers anyway

(OH WAIT WHAT ABOUT BEES? YA LIKE JAZZ -im sorry pft but now I need to see Ray in like those bee farmer dress things lmao)

8. Zen

I could see him as the pet owner that takes their dogs on walks and such, but honestly, if he's allergic to cats he's probably allergic to other animals too, at least some with a lot of hair! Although I feel like he'd get one of those big dogs and he'd go on runs with it all the time. The dog would be like the ones that are mostly thought of as super dangerous or aggressive but it turns out they're a sweetheart. Either that or a poodle 🐩💀 (but like I said, he's probably allergic to animals with lots of hair.)

HOW ABOUT A PARROT? ZEN COULD TOTALLY PRACTICE HIS LINES AND SONGS WITH THE PARROT AJDNFBFB

7. Jihyun

Jihyun would be pretty good as a pet owner but honestly he'd be super nervous at everything at first. Welcome to the Jihyun apologizing to his pet show akdjdn. But would we trust him with a pet? He wasn't really able to take care of two teenage boys -although it was mostly because he was in a toxic relationship 💀

When he has his sight problems he could totally get those helper dogs? (Forgot what they're called I'm sorry T_T)

He'd probably get a more chill pet tho, maybe a cat (he probably likes them a lot too! Also they're pretty calming.) So he could have like the guide dog and a small kitty too!

6. Jaehee

She'd be an awesome pet mom lol. I don't think she'd get a cat after being traumatized from pet-sitting Elizabeth. Maybe she could get like a turtle 🐢

Or maybe a rat to reenact Ratatouille lmaoo

She wouldn't get big pets unless the MC wanted to adopt something (and if they're a couple, we all know what people who want kids but can't or just aren't able to adopt at the moment, do, they get DOGS AND CATS!!!)

So honestly she'd start understanding why Jumin pampers Elly so much, since your dogs basically your child now PFTTT

Maybe a bunny too? I could see her working with the bunny on her head lmao and that's adorable

Omg imagine her with a SNAKE, HOW BADASS WOULD THAT BE???

5. Suit Saeran

You may be wondering once again, WHAT AND WHY

Let me explain.

Suit would dffinetly get those scary and big dogs that have spiky collars and everything, and he'd probably call him something like Killer or Skull Destroyer, or maybe Blade lmao

And we all know he'd die for his dog. It's the only one he can trust ajdhdbdbd

He'd be like the bad boys that walk around with their dog everywhere growling at people (not just the dog, the two of them)

And "Spike" would be so well taken care of. Believers have to start doing draws to see who feeds the monster dog that always bites them PFTTT

The dog would also dffinetly know how to fight. It'd be cute if the only person he likes appart from Saeran tho is MC hehe

AND you cannot change my mind in this, ever since Saeran got "Dark Knight" (I'm experimenting with the dog names pfft) he's shown him a picture of Saeyoung and taught him to absolutely hate his guts, so Seven, buddy, maybe don't get to close to them lol

AND the backstory for this dog is that Saeran found him under some bushes, hurt, and the dog reminded him of when he was younger, so he took him in and that's how the doggie came to be :3

3. GE Saeran

Idk, he'd also get the normal-ish animals, like a bunny or a cat (he'd like how calming they are.)

He'd be awesome with animals too!

Also uhm, someone please draw him as a farmer AJDHDHD lmaoo that's the first thing that came to mind 😂

He'd be the person that likes animals but like....other people's animals? He'd love to see Elizabeth and such, but he wouldn't really want to have one (unless MC wanted to of course.) It's not that he doesn't like them, it's mostly because he feels more comfortable with other people's pets ajdjdbd

Also he doesn't want them to ruin the garden oop

3. In a tie with Saeran, Yoosung

I forgot about him and didn't want to change the numbers lmao

Yoosung is a vet, c'mon he knows how to deal with animals!

At first he'd be so freaking nervous and would be just like a helicopter parent, making sure the doggie is alright and such, but then he gets the hang of it and he's perfect.

We all know we got a bunny with him too in his GE :D so maybe a dog and a bunny! He'd have more than one pet I'll tell ya that.

2. Jumin

Listen he's the king alright? He pampers his cat SO much, and you can just TELL how much he loves Elly. We all stan a man that loves animals.

He'd probably get some exotic pets too, maybe a few horses and birds that are really exotic or something

But can you imagine him with like....a tiger PFT

He'd be like: omg this is a cat but bigger let me have one

It'd be like Sebastian from Black Butler lol

He'd also be up to a dog, it'd take a bit of convincing but if MC wants one then he'd snap his fingers and get them one immediately (I love this man he's so ADORABLE) and then they'd have two children and Zen wouldn't have to worry about just Elizabeth

1. Vanderwood

Yes! The one! The only!

He's the only one appart from Jaehee that has more than one braincell PFTTTTT

He'd have a pretty big and scary dog that would've an absolute sweetheart when you get to know them. Everyone at first is scared but the dog just wants to sleep and eat, that's all.

Vanderwood is super responsible, I mean after Saeyoung I'm sure a dog would be nothing. He'd also compare Seven to his dog lol "Not even Capitan America is that dirty!"

"you named your dog Capitan America...?"

"shut the hell up or I'm tasing you."

His dog would spend all day sleeping. Sometimes Vanderwood will take him on walks, and they really enjoy that time together.

Vanderwood romance route? Uh, no he's far too in love with his dog to be doing anything else PFT

And you cannot once again change my mind on this:

He talks to his dog when he's alone.

He will tell him about his day as he cooks or does the laundry. He'd be in an apron making some dinner and be all like:

"Ugh, today I had to take care of that no-good for nothing guy again. It's incredible how messy his house can get in just a matter of hours! Not only that, he wasn't eating properly again, that idiot. I had to practically drag him out of his chair and make him eat some food. Not that I'm worried. It'd just be a hassle to have to find another hacker as good as him. Seriously that guy...."

And the dog would be like excuse me do I look like your therapist please just give me food lolol

[dreamerwitches]

Manga reviews!

I’ve read quite a few of the Madoka Magica manga, mostly to find witches.... So I thought I’d do a little review of the ones I’ve read! Enjoy! (also, they’re my own opinions and it’s meant to be a little funny so I exaggerate a little... so please don’t get angry!! Also kinda spoiler-y)

Madoka Magica (og manga)

Just a really compressed version of the anime. Has some changes but not often good... I only have the first one in physical and I think it’s the only one I’ll get cause it’s the most interesting part. 0/10 cause they completely removed Gisela... Also not too fond of the art style, some things are drawn really badly.. Though I’ve fallen in love with manga Gertrud. Not too fond of it but I like having the manga on my shelf. 4/10 watch the anime instead

Madoka Magica Rebellion

Will be biased cause I love rebellion. A really lovely manga, better than the og manga cause it doesn’t compress the story and even expands it. Suits three volumes better than the original. Treats familiars really well, we get bonus bartels, dora and polina~~! Doesn’t have all the fun of the movie cause it obviously doesn’t have the amazing soundtrack but it’s a really nice manga anyway. Bebe is drawn really well but the Clara Dolls aren’t. 9/10 almost as good as the movie

Kazumi Magica

Plot: seven magical girls trying to do good stuff and Kazumi, the protag, has amnesia I was surprised how much I loved this manga... I enjoyed it so much and got attached to almost all the characters. Though, spoilers, all my favourites either died or turned out to be evil... Lots of plot twists. LOTS. A wonderful lack of kyubey too... I found the story to be so intriguing. It took a spin on the original series far better than - imo - Oriko did. Really ace witches too. Only downside was sometimes the art. Too many ass shots thanks. Also a lot of the magi outfits were a tad distasteful (and some distasteful jokes too). 8/10 pretty darn good

Oriko Magica

Plot: two girls want to kill Madoka cause they know about Homu’s shenanigans. Has a pretty out there story, gets quite serious at the end. First time reading I didn’t care about it but I’ve grown fond of some of the main characters like Oriko, Kirika and Yuma. I found Kirika annoying and op first time reading. The addition of the original Madoka characters feels weird even though they are in the same universe. Original characters are also sometimes unrecognisable because of the art style. I almost never recognised Kyoko... The bonus stories are really fun, I liked them a lot. They’re short but nice. New and interesting witches too! I probably preferred Extra and Sadness prayer to the original story (Sadness prayer is like, basically a retelling of the og Oriko story but better) 6/10 for main story (feels a bit like babies first fanfic), side stories are probably a 7/10 (writer probs had more experience)

The Different Story

Plot: Mami and Kyoko backstory plus a spin on the original story. A really fun and interesting read, especially if you like Mami or Kyoko a lot. I loved the expansion of the original characters, it’s really great. I got a bit lost at the end but I was kinda scanning through... Art is by the same artist as the original manga but it’s certainly improved. Really amazing witches too~! Read it again when I got volume 1 for Chrimbo and its far sadder than I remembered... hm. Lovely art though, and very powerful scenes 7 or 8/10. I’d need to read it in full again to give a better judgement

Suzune Magica

Plot: Very edgy, lots of die. Never got attached to Suzune like I did with the Oriko characters. Some costume designs are also gross and pervy. Didn’t find it memorable and didn’t care much about the characters. Nice witches though. 3/10

Haven’t read Tart magica and don’t have any opinions on it yet. Hate the artist so I don’t think I will ever read it. (witches also look like afterthoughts... boooo)

Wraith Arc

Gave it a scan aaannndd.... didn’t enjoy it...... found it so boring. Wraiths are so boring as the enemy. Bland and have no character or inu curry flair. I feel you’d really enjoy it if you adored Homura and Madoka. I don’t so... I don’t think my opinion would be justified for this one.

Homura’s Revenge

Plot: Homura, Madoka and Kyubey go back in time before Madoka turns God. I. HATED. This one. Sigh.. It was the most frustrating manga I’ve ever read. Kyubey just gets in the way and not in a funny or clever way. Kills off Mami too early too. The witch designs are also crap like the artist don’t care about them. Illustrated by the same artist as Tart Magica and they’re a creep so it’s an automatic ‘euch’. Homura just resets in the end anyway. Just like Wraith Arc, I feel you’d like it more if you really liked Homura and Madoka 1/10 I liked the part with Elly and that’s it

The Veranda of Madoka

Plot: All five girls are living in the same house as sisters. Spoilers, this is my favourite manga... it’s so so cute and lovely! It’s a 4Koma (four square panels for a joke/story but sometimes has longer stories) manga with cute humour and fun stories. You really care about the girls and want them to be happy together. I’ve only read volume 1 cause it’s the only one translated but I really wanna read the rest cause it seems to add Nagisa. Only downsides are it has some tasteless jokes like breast sizes and Homura’s sometimes kinda pervy towards Madoka (remember, they are sisters in this one) but those things are rare in the long run. Has lesbian Hitomi which increases the score tenfold. The art style is also adorable, I prefer it to PAPA’s current style honestly. 9.5/10 would be 10 if it didn’t have some questionable jokes sometimes

Mitakihara Anti Materials

Plot: Homura accidentally winds up living with Mami. I thought I was gonna hate this one. Turns out I love this one. If you ship Homura and Mami, it’s the best, but it also works well for a platonic friendship. It’s a lovely slice of life with lots of fluffy bits with Homu and Mami but also the other girls. Sayaka also for some reason has the super hots for Mami (I mean, who wouldn’t). Sadly, has some tasteless jokes like Veranda which bring it down. Taking pictures of people against their will and body-swapping, I just wasn’t into it... Art is pretty generic but works just fine. 8/10

Mami Tomoe’s everyday life

Plot: The girls are older. Excuse me while I vomit. Read a few pages and quickly ran. CLEARLY written by a perverted old man. The girls are all married and only talk about husbands and their weight and things men think women talk about. Also. Homura is married to Tatsuya, excuse me while I hurl again. Just look at the covers and you can tell the artist is a porn artist. -10/10 kill it

Welcome to Cafe Grief Seed

Plot: The girls work at a cake cafe. I um, love this one, it’s so soft and wonderful. The art style is so adorable, I’ve shamelessly stolen it for some of my art cause I love it that much. It’s a sweet mix of Sailor Moon and Ghibli. The pages are laid out like 4Koma but like Veranda, they often have longer stories. The take on the witches are really fun and imaginative too (they’re simply problematic customers). A really nice and harmless read (no pervy jokes, thanks). 9/10 wish it was longer and the artist seems to have not done anything else...

Pomu Magi

Plot: Homura is tiny and chibi for some reason. Reeeaalllyy didn’t gel with this one. Seems kinda like someone’s fetish... Just felt weird, I stopped reading quickly. Not disgusting like Everyday Life but made me feel uncomfortable. 0/10

Mahou Shoujobu

Plot: the girls make a magical girl club in a school shared with witches. Although it apparently involved witches it barely included them. LIES. Disappointed, Homura was also really weird too. 1/10 got to see witches but they weren’t portrayed well

Homura Tamura

Plot: take a look at lots of different timelines. I liked this one but damn it was all over the place. Every chapter is a different wacky timeline, and I mean wacky. A world where Mami rules and everyone wears hair drills, a world where Sayaka drives an Oktavia mech. Wacky. Kinda hard to follow first time through. But funny and quite charming. Made me laugh out loud sometimes. On a re-read for images I enjoyed it just as much as the first time, even more. 8/10 good if you like humour and silly jokes

[volvolts]

trying again. im gonna talk about my ocs. its pretty long and kinda incoherent idk

first start with robin

idk how to make the picture smaller so im sorry

- her name is robin wright and she’s 17

BACKSTORY

- her mom is a cyberneticist and her dad is a neurosurgeon. they do research on cyborg’s disease and have a company that makes prosthetics. they’re really rich because if it

- robin also had a twin brother named ronan (she’s the younger twin btw). he died when they were 15 because he had a rare case of cyborg’s disease in the brain. his death was so traumatizing for her that she doesn’t remember the months surrounding his death. she doesn’t even remember the funeral

- after ronan’s death, robin’s parents put her into isolation for two years. they pulled her out of her classes and activities and she barely got human interactions during this time

- eventually she had enough and begged to be allowed out which they do--as long as she has a bodyguard with her at all times. the problem? robin had a hard time getting along with most of them. in fact, ryuji is kind of a last resort. if she doesn’t get on well with him, she’ll most likely be isolated until further notice

random facts

- she’s really smart, a natural genius you could say. she was on her third year in college before she was pulled from it (she’s studying to be a neurosurgeon like her father). she’s one of those organized highlighter/color coded note takers too

- robin is a very compassionate person and is compelled to help others as much as she can. 

- stubborn and determined, she’ll pursue nearly everything and won’t back down until she has answers. sometimes she doesn’t know when to stop and accidentally oversteps her boundaries. it’s not because she’s needlessly nosy but because she wants to know the whole story before she can help them

- she has a overactive imagination and would end up thinking up outlandish ideas to fill in the blanks of things she doesn’t know

- robin is one of those people who’s polite and reserved if she doesn’t know you but will talk your ear off when she’s comfortable with you

- she closer with her father, which is why she’s studying the same subject that he works in

- both of her parents are incredibly successful and she’s expected to do something similar so she has a lot on her shoulders

- she hasn’t worked a day in her life but she has unusually strong endurance and stamina

- she has a dog! he’s a golden retriever and his name is beck. he’s an old dog and she loves him very much 

next is ryuji

- his name is ryuji lor and he’s 22

- he also goes by “ryder” (technically he’s supposed to go by that throughout most of my half-baked story because he never told anyone is real name but that’s beside the point)

- he’s a quarter japanese and three quarters se asian (not really sure what kind yet but im thinking somewhere within the vietnam/laos area)

BACKSTORY 

- a bit of TW: FAMILY ABUSE in this passage so skip if it bothers you:  his mom got pregnant with him while she was in college and because her boyfriend bailed on her and stress of the pregnancy and burnout she dropped out and went back to her family. she was seen as “the good one” of the family and was expected to get a good job to get her family out of poverty however when she came back they were incredibly bitter that she “failed” and would verbally and emotionally put her down. They also blamed ryuji because if he wasn’t born then she wouldn’t have dropped out and he was often ostracized because of it. 

- fortunately he and his mom left when he turned 5. they lived in a small apartment and had to get lots of help from neighbors and friends to make ends meet (mostly to babysit ryuji while his mom worked). ryuji vowed to get smart and get a good job to give his mother the life she deserves (and partly because he feels a part of her really does hate him and he wants to make it up to her somehow because if he doesn’t, was he just a parasite like what his aunts and uncles said?)

- when he turned 10, his mom got married and how he has two moms. they’re hard on him but it’s from a place of love so he tries his best to be a good son by studying and staying out of trouble

- at 17, ryuji has a bit of hope ahead of him. he has a part time job, good grades, and maybe a scholarship if he could qualify. suddenly he’s diagnosed with cyborg’s disease in his eyes and arm. they can’t afford either of his surgeries, let alone one. and that’s not going into the prosthetics and rehab afterwards. at night when they think he’s asleep, ryuji hears his moms arguing about how they’ll be able to afford any of it and what they’ll have to do to pay for it. 

- he can’t take it anymore. he runs away

- he ends up in a city he doesn’t recognize and is just allowing himself to die but he gets saved by irving, a back alley repair doctor. he gets prosthetics thanks to her but is now in a massive debt so he works as her assistant and also finds other jobs on the side to repay it

- his backstory is getting really long so things happen in ryuji’s attempt to make money and he ends up also working with ace, who leads an organized crime group, as a handler whose job is to fight/intimidate/kill whoever. 

- a sudden coincidence also ends up working as robin’s bodyguard which starts everything. honestly he’s didn’t want to do this job at first but robin’s parents are willing to pay a good amount of money and it allows him to have time away from his jobs with ace

random facts

- he’s left hand but learned to be ambidextrous, however he’ll usually default to his left hand

- he wore glasses when he was younger (near sighted; it was super bad but he didn’t like it)

- he’s afraid of dogs. it’s not a full on phobia but they make him uneasy because of a childhood thing. (he’s more of a cat person and maybe pets a few stray cats that come across his house every once in a while)

- he doesn’t like people staring at him. he feels self-conscious because of the scar on his face and the shadowed bags under his eyes and people staring at him don’t help

- ryuji is really good with prosthetics repair and can go into in-depth discussions about the mechanics of it all; he actually really enjoys working on it and actually helped design his own arm

- he’s really smart but he had to work really hard to get there and because he never finished his education, he doesn’t really think he is either

- ryuji tries to give off a “i don’t care about anyone” bravado to try and distance himself from everything. but he really cares. like a lot. the few people he has in his life right now, he’s ride or die for them

- ryuji works himself to death to ignore his problems. he’s afraid if he stops moving, he’ll buckle under the pressure and stop forever

- he has a knife hidden in his prosthetic forearm which he will use if he feels threatened. (it’s probably a stiletto knife or something idk yet)

- ryuji is an early riser; waking up at 9 am feels like sleeping in to him. he’s not even that much of a morning person, its mostly out of habit

then there’s castor

- his name is castor oda and he’s 24

- he’s japanese

BACKSTORY

- he lived in a really strict and controlling family who owned a business where he had his entire life planned out for him up to who he was going to marry. he’s always been angry about it because he has older siblings who will take over the company and it’s clear that more of a control and image thing than anything else

- when he went to college, it was his first time actually be away from his family and became friends with a guy named ben. 

- ben helped castor when his family kicked him out at 19 and gave him a place to stay until he could get back on his feet

- castor loved ben like a brother and is forever grateful for him

- ben mysteriously disappeared when they were 21 and everyone is pretty sure he’s dead but no one knows why

- castor wants to find closure on what happened because he’s definitely sure there’s something shady going on and he’s going to find out what.

- he’s an information broker, occasionally crossing paths with ace to relay and gather info but for the most part, castor has been working alone

- when he’s not doing that though, he works as a barista at a coffee shop

random facts

- he has cyborg’s disease in his right arm and when he lived with his family, he was deeply self-conscious about it

- he hasn’t spoken to his parents since they kicked him out but he still talks to his siblings sometimes; he’s the youngest child with two older sisters

- he always had an inkling that ben had romantic feelings for him, which was unrequited, and castor always felt a little guilty that he never reciprocated or that they never got to talk about it

- castor always wears his red scarf no matter the occasion or weather; he has more scarves but he just likes the red one the best

- people think he’s like calm and collected but in reality he’s an impulsive, emotional driven idiot just like the rest of us

- however he is the master of the polite business smile because of his strict upbringing

- he’s a rather disorganized person

next is irving

- her name is ellie irving and she’s 35

- she’s half black, half white

BACKSTORY 

- i don’t have that much solidified for her backstory yet so it might change fyi

- irving had been doing cybernetic research back in college but someone plagiarized her work and submitted their paper before she came forward

- because the paper was published before she published hers, SHE was initially hit with backlash of plagiarism

- eventually they try to sort it out but in the end, while she proved she didn’t plagiarize the other, she couldn’t prove that she came up with the research first and they just terminated the both her and the plagiarist

- she was barred from going into higher cybernetics research and honestly she’s still a bit bitter about it

- she went into prosthetics repair instead but still struggled to find work because of her alleged reputation, which many still believed she stole another’s work

- eventually she manages to open up a shop that specializes in prosthetic repairs and replacements

random facts

- she’s really harsh and aloof, however she cares in her own way

- honestly irving doesn’t believe herself to be a good person due to how she feels she let herself to bitterly sulk in her anger for so long

- she smokes a bit but she’s trying to cut back lately

- irving won’t pry if you come to her with a broken arm and you need help; she’ll fix you up and leave it at that and allow you to come to her yourself

- she’s incredibly observant and can tell if your lying with just a glance

- she doesn’t know that ryuji works for ace; she’s concerned when he seems more tired than usual but she doesn’t know how to pry

last one cuz im tired

his name is ace (i don’t have a last name for him) and he’s 32

- he owns an organized crime ring; im thinking he’s connected to something bigger and possibly something with the black market

- not much is known about him but he’s a charismatic man and has the intimidation factor 

- he flips his demeanor a lot. one minute he’s jovial and kind then the next he’ll give you thinly veil threats. he mostly does it to keep people on their toes so it’s a power thing

- begrudgingly he’s the closest thing to a father figure ryuji is gonna get

- also the jacket ryuji always wears? it’s a gift from ace

and that’s all i got so far! i have a lot more ocs but i don’t have have a lot of backstory for them yet. let me know what you think of these guys and feel free to ask questions!

[cxmetery-gates]

OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS - DARK!TOM HIDDLESTON

CHAPTER ONE: FAKING IT

SUMMARY: Lynn Moore dreads the beginning of her greatest fear: the first day of senior year. WORD COUNT: 2.3k NOTE: Get ready for typical teenager angst. Let’s all bully Lynn. WARNINGS: dark!tom hiddleston, teacher!tom hiddleston

OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS MASTERLIST

JUST LIKE EVERY YEAR AROUND the middle of August, my mom tells me the same advice; have a good first day. Of course, most mothers, fathers, or whoever tell their child this, but it's as pointless as a circle. Whoever has a fantastic first day of school? There are new teachers to impress, you're stuck with the same bunch of losers you sit with at lunch, and there are more jerks and morons to pick on you, despite the status quo you fall under. High school is frankly really awful all the way around and there's no way someone can deny or even try to argue that. These are the four years of utter hell and we're all dying to get out. I've stepped through those heavy doors, resembling the gates of hell, on a first day three times now. My anger and hatred have only been fueled rather than dying down. I'm sure nothing will ever change.

"Don't forget--" Mom tries to tell me from the porch in sweats and a maroon t-shirt. Her unnatural dirty blonde hair piled on the top of her head with an old red clip. There are tears welling in her eyes, seeing her only child almost grown up. I have one last year of school and mere months until I'm an adult. For me, it may pass by far too slow, but I bet it's a whole different story for her. In all honesty, it's ridiculous that the woman is so upset and not to mention annoying. I have done this routine twelve times now, for Christ sake, she should get a grip on herself by now. I don't mean to belittle my mother but one of her greatest achievements is being able to replicate every single stereotype women have, including having no control over her emotions. An outsider looking in may say I'm a bit to harsh. All I can say to that is no one has loved with her for almost eighteen years like I have.

"I got it!" I yell against the wind as it smacks my face while I walk across the grass. "Christ on a bike," I curse tossing my messy light brown hair from my field of vision.

The bus would take another five minutes to get the corner, but I'd like to not look stupid on my first day by running to catch up with the metal rectangle of devilry Peter Parker style. Well, maybe it would turn into an interesting story at the least. Spiderman is my favorite superhero of all time after all. Despite this, I only allow an angry face to part my path. It's totally fake but faking it is the only way to survive.

Down at the intersection, there are already kids waiting. I think it's safe to assume that all of the puberty-sicken teenagers are freshmen or sophomores since most junior and seniors are still asleep at this early hour, knowing the good majority are able to drive. I take a good look at all of them. The fact that they find throwing bits of gravel at squirrels or birds makes me want to go over and smack them upside the head. That thought crosses my mind a lot. The world is so full of morons; it's hard to pick out which ones are actually tolerable. They're almost as bad as kids in letterman jackets with expensive sports cars. Those fuckers are the worst. All they care about is their ego and how much money they can wave around coming right from mommy and daddy's wallet.

Take the kid in the striped shirt tucked into his hand-me-down jeans. He looks like a nice kid; after all, he's got nothing to brag about. His parents are probably office workers or maybe nothing too difficult. Nothing too important. That's all we are, right? I mean, once we're dead and gone. No one is gonna care what car you drove or what brand your plain white shirt is. People who think they're hotshots or something special are the real morons.

Besides, who thinks it's cool to spend thirty bucks on a t-shirt?

An old car passes, a teenage girl in my grade sits in the driver's seat. I sort of duck out of the way. Not James Bond-like, but I move my already shitty hair in front of my face as if it's going to help hide my identity. The chick probably didn't even see me. I watch the car drive on, kinda imagining what sort of car I would drive once I get one. I suppose I would have to learn first. I personally am not a fan of getting behind the wheel. Hell, I can't even ride a bike without falling over. I'd rather move to a large city and order cabs to get me places. They seem more convenient and, if you get in a wreck, it's not your fault and it's not your money coming out of pocket. No car equals more money. Then again, no car also is equivalent to no freedom and taxis and Uber's can get expensive. It seems like each idea is flawed these days.

Upon scanning the area again— this time ignoring the idiots— I notice only one person who seems excited out of the group. Her dark brown hair and dark skin contrast to the majority of our town, including those waiting nearby. Her curled hair bounces with each stride she takes, happier than the step prior.

Some say it's strange that the girl and I are such good friends. You don't see God and Satan going out and having coffee every weekend or anything.

"What's got you in a good mood?" I question as I readjust my dark blue shirt underneath the flannel. Flannels are my favorite personal quirk. I own at least fifty, most being cool or dark colors. I don't have an obsession; just an interest that I care way too much about. Flannels are to Lynn Moore as controversy is to famous influencers. Looking back up, my eyebrow is still raised. I'm shocked to see her here, assuming her parents would have given her a lift. After a second, it dawned on me that this, riding the bus to school, was her punishment for getting into an accident she won't take responsibility for.

Posting memes and vines references are fun and all, but doing it while going 60 down a highway isn't the smartest. Forgive me for not following the strict millennial handbook but I don't actually want to die nor do I want my friends to.

My best friend, Ellie Graves, gives a small glare. "Why does it always seem like you're on your period?" I shrug my shoulders, and played with the wire choker I always wore. As my fingers slip underneath the necklace, it is evident how to lose it has gotten since I bought it a few months ago. I make a mental note to take a quick trip to the shopping side of the internet sometime soon.

I click my tongue before answering. "Probably because I'm closer to hell than you are," I say, referring to my obvious lack of height. I'm only five feet and just barely three inches off the ground while Ellie is at least five feet and seven inches. Personally I think we would make a cute couple given our attitudes and the extremities of our heights, except for the fact that dearest Ellie is not interested in people other than men. What a party pooper. For me, anyway. "But lets do our best to not reinforce stereotypes," I say referring to her comment.

She nods her head. "Yes, mother." I snort at her sass, leaning my body weight onto my right leg. "But hey! We have one year left! That's something to be excited about, am I right?"

Yes, I would say she is right. Freshmen, sophomore, and the dragged out junior year have come and passed, full of useless information and embarrassing memories with it. It's mostly embarrassing if I have to be honest. School isn't my thing, however falling up and down the main set of stairs apparently is. Who knew?

"Yeah, I suppose so. At least we're considered adults now," I reply trying to find some positive about the situation.

Ellie begins to lightly laugh, "True. That's kinda a scary thought, though." Her body shudders, either because a breeze just blew passed or out of what she just said.

The age of freedom is so close, I can nearly touch it. Despite my longing to finally buy a lottery ticket and spray paint, the fear of adulthood gnaws at the back of my mind. With eighteen comes responsibility, something I lack to a high degree. I muse the idea of getting a degree of irresponsibility. However, I don't think such diploma could help me get into a creative writing career.

I make a thinking face and bring my shoulders to my ears preparing for an exaggerated response. "Well, you aren't wrong," I reply in a forced high pitch noise, catching the attention of the guys. Now I notice they are all matching in basketball shorts and a jacket. Men's fashion, ladies and gents. Ellie chuckles at my utter dorkiness while I continue to make some weird face I'm sure she will get a picture of sometime within the next few seconds.

It's crazy how time is able to fly. Just last week, so it seems, the outgoing, beaming chick I have as a best friend and I were in third grade, the year I moved to a new house, a different school, and a very different town. Although my eight-year-old-self hated it at the time, I'm glad I left the northern state of Maine, all the way across to the midwest. That is if you consider southern Missouri part of the midwest. If I hadn't, who would have the privilege of being my first smack in the face? Or first sleepover (with an actual girl)? Who knows, and I honestly wouldn't like to. Ellie's my best friend; I would be dead if she didn't have my back. And I'm honestly positive she would say the same about her tiny best pal.

Little time passes after the picture was indeed taken and posted on Elle's Snapchat before an ugly shade of yellowish-orange appears entering the neighborhood. Ellie is practically fidgeting, fighting the urge to run up the bus even if it is some distance away. My eyes roll trying to not say anything to kill her spirit but I do let out an accidental groan as its loud hum draws nearer. The bus came to a screeching halt and I already want to turn on my heel and head home. When I step on, I notice there is a new driver this year. After Ellie got her license and could legally drive me around, I never bothered with the bus unless I needed space or she was busy, which was hardly ever. Ellie and I mostly spend our time together with our group of friends. Despite this, I still easily took notice of a different person in the seat. Instead of a balding old man with a face like alligator skin, a woman sat in the brown leather seat and looks roughly in her forties. She, like all of us except for Ellie, looks tired but fakes a smile anyways. The same rules apply; middle school and junior high in the front and high school in the back. It seems as if sitting in the back always made you cool of some sort. Every time a kid got away with it in middle school, he or she was automatically the bad kid, the cool kid, or the king of the bus. God, how stupid is that theory? These thoughts remind me how annoying and stupid we all were at ten and eleven years old. I'm sure if I had a duplicate of myself at that age, I'd shoot either one of us to cease me from the utter pain.

Instead of going all the way to the back, I turn to sit in the seat half way down the aisle while plunging in an earbud, leaving one open to listen to Ellie. I instantly scroll through an select a playlist that mixes rock, punk, and even some emo. Given today being my last first day, I figured early morning jams would be appropriate to get me pumped up even though I tend to listen to this genre quite often as of lately. I enjoy the heavy guitar and double bass pedal and lyrics I can either relate to or wonder who hurt the singer so bad. Needless to say, I'm definitely more of a rock person however there's still a lot of other types of music on my device, including orchestra and folk or indie. I don't like to limit what I listen to; whatever makes me feel good ends up on my phone. Simple as that.

"So, Lynn," Ellie says sliding in right next to me. I look in her direction, which was to my right, waiting for her to respond. She looks at me, but nothing came out of her mouth. Slowly, I arch a brow. Still, there was nothing. "I had nothing to say, I just wanted your attention." Ellie gave a stupid grin while I glare kindly at her if there is such a thing.

My head shakes and I reach out to pat her cheek, "You, my darling, are an absolute dumbass."

I feel her grin grow against my hand since I haven't moved it yet. "Not as big as you, though." I can't argue; she has a point.

As the bus lunches forwards, I look out the window and watch the world go by. Something settles in my gut about then, the feeling both familiar and foreign. I can't tell what it is, but as I watch the clouds roll in over the sun and birds flying through the sky, I only hope my last year of high school will be memorable.

[endless-vall]

Blossoming - Thomas Mendez x MC fanfic

Summary: Thomas is sure he isn’t ready to move on and start pursuing Ellie romantically yet, but when Zoey is threatened to be taken away from Ellie by her ex-husband, and his protective side emerges, his feelings make a shift.

Author’s note: I’m not sure how it works in other countries, but I know for sure that in mine courts tend to take the mother’s side on custody fights, given that she wants the custody and isn’t abusive/mentally unstable/etc.  

I made a post a few days ago stating there wasn’t nearly enough Moty fanfics and so I’ve decided to contribute myself! Hope you’ll like it ^^

*Spoiler : They didn’t kiss in this fic, it’s too early, but the tension is amazing and makes it so much more worth it when they do finally give in! ;D

Thomas was finally off work early, and on his way to pick Luz from her sitter. He'd promised he'd take her to the new exhibition she was so excitedly non-stop blabbering about, and he was supposed to meet Ellie and Zoey there.

They were best friends, after all, but Thomas suspected that maybe the two girls were looking and making up reasons for him and Ellie to meet at this point.

Not that he had a problem with that, he truly liked Ellie and there might be something special there, between them, but a pinch in his heart always kept him at arms-length from her, a hollow Soledad left there, a hole he was not quite ready to fill up yet.

And what was so amazing about Ellie was that she understood and gave him all the time he needed, which was why this has been getting more and more difficult. He wanted to move on, but simply couldn't right now.

"Daddd" His bean ran out to meet him at the doorway, not wasting any second. She was already dressed up for the trip to the museum and had a backpack on her back, ready to leave.

Thomas chuckled, and thanked the sitter who stood behind her, at the door.

Turning, he took Luz's hand and smiled brightly. "Ready to go?" He asked, hyping her up.

"Like, yesterday." She replied, making them both laugh.

He arrived at the museum, but didn't find Ellie in the front, like he assumed he would.

"Maybe we got here first," he explained to an expecting Luz, who looked like she was going to burst if she wasn't able to run around the museum and blabber about things he didn't really understand.

"You should call her!" Of course Luz would encourage him to do that, but honestly it wasn't such a bad idea.

He dialed the number, but the line seemed to be busy. Furrowing his eyebrows, he hung up.

"What did she say???" Luz's big eyes glimmered as she questioned.

"She didn't pick up, but you know what? Maybe they're already inside, we should go in and look for them, alright?"

"Alright daddy" She basically leaped out of the car and was at the doors of the museum before he had a chance to close the car's door behind him.

Thomas simply smiled and followed his daughter, ignoring the concern blossoming in his stomach for Ellie. Everything was probably fine.

After entering the museum and finding the exhibition they were looking for, the two saw Zoey already checking all the cool stuff in there.

"See? I told you we'll find them here." He gestured and Luz giddily approached her friend.

One thing was still not putting his mind at ease, though, since he couldn't find Ellie anywhere. He looked around the gallery, but she wasn't in sight.

Approaching Zoey, he kept a calm tone and asked, as if by the way, "Hey Zoey, where is your mom?"

"Oh, she had an important call to answer, and she stepped out since they don't allow phonecalls in here," Zoey pointed out the sign. "I promised to behave and stay only in this room so she let me stay." Zoey smiled.

"Oh, alright." He smiled back at her. That made sense, seeing as she did have busy phone line when he called.

He followed the girls, watching both of them now, as they talked and got excited over stuff on the exhibition.

Finally, a few minutes later they passed an inner courtyard of the museum, and he saw Ellie sitting outside on a bench, seemingly in a heated argument. She got a glimpse at him, smiling fondly, but only for a second before going back to what seemed like an unpleasant conversation.

"Zoey, here's your mom!" Luz called excitedly, pointing. She really did like Ellie a whole lot.

Zoey bit at her lower lip. "Yeah..."

Looking back at Thomas, she looked as if she had something to say.

"Is everything alright, Zoey?" Suddenly, an urgent protective wave passed through him, as he looked at her troubled expression.

"Luz's dad-" "You can call me Thomas"

Zoey smiled more confidently at his words.

"Thomas," she started again. "You're a lawyer, right?" This wasn't what he was expecting Zoey to ask, but he nodded nonetheless. "Yes, I am."

"My mom will probably not want me to tell you that," He didn't really like where this was going. "But she could use your help, like, really." Zoey said, still concerned. "Of course I'll help," he crouched down and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, earning back a grateful smile.

He threw another look outside, feeling another protective wave wash through him, but this time for Ellie. She needed legal help? This seemed even more serious than he'd first anticipated. She seemed as if the phonecall was done, and Thomas decided he wasn't going to stall talking to her.

"Girls, could you stay here for a moment? I'll be right back." He told them. Luz and Zoey nodded in sync and got into another conversation about things they both liked.

Thomas got out, now getting a better look at Ellie. She had big dark bags under her eyes, as if she didn't sleep for a few days (even more than usually being a single parent deprived you of). She looked so frustrated, her whole body language tense and rock-solid, and she didn't even notice him approaching.

"Hi," he started kindly, sitting beside her but letting her have her space. "How are you?"

Ellie almost jumped in her place, forcing a smile quickly as she realized who was sitting beside her. "Oh, hey, I'm fine." Another fake smile. "You?" He was a lawyer, reading people's faces was a nice quality to have and made his life easier when working with a client. Although Ellie was much more than a client, obviously.

"I'm fine too," he nodded, but wasn't about to step down.

"A little birdie told me that you might need my help..." Thomas leaned back against the bench, while Ellie shook her head.

"That little...." Both chuckled lightly.

"I..." she bit her lower lip, not quite able to explain.

Thomas took her hand in his, comfortingly, and Ellie turned to look at him, a tiny bit calmer.

"You don't have to tell me, but I will do everything I can to help if you'd want my help." Thomas assured her.

"My ex-husband is in town. Zoey ‘s dad." Ellie spat it out.

"Oh." His grip on her hand immediately loosened. It hit him like an arrow to the heart.

Why did it hit so hard? Wasn't he the one that said he wasn't ready to move on just earlier? And if so... why did it feel like someone took his heart and crumpled it like a piece of paper?

Panic washed over Ellie's face as she noticed he recoiled. "No, it's not that-"

"You don't have to explain-"

"He wants custody."

"Oh." Thomas felt silly for taking it the way he did.

"Over Zoey. He wants to take her away." Worry washed over Ellie's features again.

"Well, usually courts tend to support the mother's side when it comes to child custody. Especially considering there aren't any claims of abuse against you or anything that indicates that you're not fit to be a mom. Zoey wants to stay with you, too, so you actually have a strong case. You don't have to worry," while he had to go into lawyer mode to explain everything, internally he was grateful that he was wrong with his initial assumption, and had a few seconds to get his cool back.

"But he's trying to bribe her, and he now has a wife and a steady, good-paying job and I can barely keep up." Ellie's smile flatters.

"You also have a damn good lawyer at your side," he drops the lawyer act and smiles brightly at Ellie.

At last, she looked somewhat convinced. "I'll pay you back-"

"Ellie." He took a hold of her hand again.

"I'm serious-"

"Me too. Zoey is your daughter. You’ve done everything for her. I don't want her taken away from you either." He smiled, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Ellie let out a nervous laugh out, as if she was letting all the frustration that built up in her out with it.

"You know, I was so upset and got so worked up that I didn't even think of asking for your help. I forgot that you were a lawyer and know much more about it than me. I didn't even think about it." She leans against Thomas' side.

"It's okay. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed and focused on our problems that we forget about the rest of the world." He'd be lying if he said he didn't lean into her touch as well.

Ellie chuckled. "Exactly"

She glances inside, making sure Zoey and Luz were still in line of sight.

"We should probably head in, right? I was out here quite some time now." Ellie shrugged.

"We probably should," Thomas nodded, even though he liked the way they cuddled on the bench.

Hell, to someone looking from the side, it might look like more than cuddling. But who cares what other people thought, anyway?

Neither of them made a move to stand up and go back.

"Thomas?" Ellie shuffles and turns to look at him.

She's... so close... he could probably kiss her right now. And for a chance, he doesn't feel guilty about it.

Something about wanting to protect her and her family and keep them close to him really did affect him.

But just before he can lean in and press his lips against her she talks. "Thank you." Her voice is sweet and gentle and genuine.

"It's my pleasure." He answers in the same tone, and with that, she stands up and escapes out of his reach.

"Let's go back?" She motions back to their daughters and Thomas follows suit.

Pretending like he didn't just imagine kissing her. Pretending he wasn't fighting the urge to do it anyway, right then and there, anyway.

He knew Ellie wanted it too... she was giving him time, after all.

He wasn't done grieving, this wasn't an easy process and there wasn't a magic solution, but he was undoubtedly developing feelings for Ellie, feelings that until recently were reserved only for Soledad.

She came into his life and his heart started beating strongly again, not just getting by or putting on a strong face for Luz’ sake, but also for himself.

"I just want to make sure I’m helping, not hindering.” she told him, a while ago. She was definitely helping.

[diazevans]

i once believed love would be black and white (but it’s golden)

or ‘deluca with a baby was too much for my poor, fragile heart’

It's understandable that the first thing that comes to her mind is pregnancy, mostly because of how everyone she knows is pregnant these days.

It's understandable that the first thing that comes to her mind is pregnancy, mostly because of how everyone she knows is pregnant these days.

Amelia is close to her due date and just last month, Alex and Jo have found they are finally going to have one of their own. So, with everyone becoming parents around her, when her period doesn't come, it's her first thought. And honestly, up to this realization, getting pregnant is very low in her list of concerns. Meredith still remembers how hard it was with Derek, and while life had given her Ellis just when she needed her, she still had a hostile uterus and well, her age was also a factor. All of that made her heart beat a little calmer after a few seconds, letting her breath and putting all her thoughts in the back of her mind, knowing that when she took a test at home, it would be negative and absolutely nothing would happen.

Obviously, the test was positive. Just like the other two she bought later.

It's also very easy to point another clues now that she is out of the denial area. She is feeling more tired than usual, something that she blamed to the fact of working again in the hospital after so many months, and the other day she bought a yogurt that she used to drink when she was pregnant with Bailey, just because she felt like it. And now that she thought about it really hard, the other day, Andrew had been all over her breasts. Not that he didn't usually, but he had taken a little bit more of time on them, so maybe he felt them different? She would have to ask after they had, well, the talk.

There was no shirt this time or any other little surprise, mostly because she didn't really know how to feel about this pregnancy. A big part of her was excited, happy, because who wouldn't be delighted to have a kid with Andrew? He was going to be such an amazing father, with all that heart and Meredith could already imagine him looking at their baby with those big puppy eyes of him. The picture made her smile without meaning to, pausing in the little puzzle she and Ellis were making in her bed. Yet, her practical side couldn't stop thinking that maybe, just maybe, it was a mistake. He was finally a fellow and his career could only go up from here, like she knew it would. And their relationship was so good, that she was scared something like this would throw away that balance they had found with each other. Life was already pretty great so, what if this was the beginning of disaster?

There wasn’t more time to think about it, mostly cause Andrew’s voice filled the house and after a second, Ellis was already getting down the bed and running right to where the voice was coming from. All of her kids liked him, even when Zola had eyed him suspiciously the first few months, but her youngest was definitely the one that favored him the most.

After a few minutes, where Meredith couldn’t help but flip her phone on her hands over and over again, her boyfriend appeared on her door, with his usual smile and his overnight bag on his shoulder. It was impossible to not smile back, especially when he got closer to her and dropped a kiss on her lips, casually and quick.

“Missed you today” Her cheeks hurt slightly once her smile became even bigger, pressing her lips against his once more.

“I missed you too. There were some things I needed to take care of” Even when her voice was light, he eyed her instantly, raising his eyebrows.

“Should I be worried?” In another moment, she would think it was funny that Andrew thought she was always up for some kind of trouble. And it wasn’t necessarily a lie, but since she had come back to work, things had gone very smoothly. Yet, it warmed her heart that his tone was still a little playful, even under the worry, and that there was no hint of exasperation. Sometimes, it was still strange to have a man that supported her in such a complete way and it made her love him even more.

What made the words come out easily.

“I’m pregnant”

Andrew was hard to read in some situations, but right there, she could see absolutely every feeling pass inside him, giving space for the next one. Shock, then some kind of confusion and then, when he didn’t seem to find any kind of signal that it was a joke, his mouth opened slightly without making any sound.

Meredith didn’t want to be mean, but she couldn’t help but giggle, looking right back at him. “Are you going to say something? Because if you are going to pass out, I have to…” Her words were cut by his lips, that were suddenly on her with such an intensity that would had taken her breath away, if they weren’t smiling so hard. His own laughter was not ringing with hers, as he hold her face with both of his hand and moved her slightly away, just so they could stare at each other.

“A baby. We are having a baby” His eyes were so shinning that it brought light to her entire heart and she couldn’t remember why she was even worried in the first place. All the mistakes and the doubts and the crimes, nothing could break them, not when Andrew kept looking at her like she hold his entire life in her hands.

“We are” Her own voice was a little bit more shaken that she expected, but he didn’t seem to notice when he moved forward to kiss her again, this time with more intent than the first one, but with the same warm feeling that filled her all over. It was like they were in this perfect little bubble, at least for a little while, until she had to think again about the fact that she was going to have four kids instead of three or that he actually freaked out about being a dad.

In the end, it was Link, calling to say Amelia had gone into labor.

[thenamesseven]

Word count: 3.4k

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Kihyun and you had been in the arcades for around two hours, it was as if the two of you wouldn't leave the place until your wallets were completely empty. Before that, Kihyun had taken you out for dinner like he explained that morning in your house. The both of you completely ignored every single fancy restaurant in the city and chose to have some greasy yet delicious hamburgers along with a plate of fries for dinner.

At first, going out with somebody as "infamous" s Kihyun was kind of was awkward, even when he and you were used to spend time together, going out with him was another story. Everybody recognized him, it was expected, he was a mafia boss after all but you would be lying if you said you hadn't been a little intimidated by being the center of everybody's attention just by walking besides him. Kihyun noticed that of course and he had made sure to distract you from it with simple gestures such us holding your hand as you walked or randomly complimenting you. After dinner, you took your time in the bathroom having an inner yet intense discussion with yourself in which you decided to ignore everyone's stare in order to enjoy the perfect date Kihyun had organized.

That's exactly how the two of you ended up in the local arcade, holding hands and looking at each other like teenagers in love but running around and going from one game to another like little kids. Some people would use the word lame and childish to describe the date Kihyun planned but you were absolutely loving it, in fact, it had been so long since last time you had so much fun...

"I seriously can't believe you stepped on my shoe on purpose just to win a game" Kihyun's words sounded hurt, shocked even, but the smile on his face said something else.

"Says the guy who almost pushed me out of the booth of that racing game we played five minutes ago" You scoffed biting your lower lip to not laugh, rolling your eyes

"Hey!" Kihyun stopped walking to turn around and look at you, the innocent yet bright smile he had tonight made him look ridiculously handsome "I have a reputation to maintain, you know? I can't just let you beat me ass so easily"

You sighed, attempting to sound disappointed and by the look on Kihyun's face you managed to do it "Here I was thinking you were one of those gentleman that did anything to make their date happy"

"You're not dating a gentleman though" He grinned, resting his arm on your shoulder to pull your body closer to his "You chose a bad boy and this is how we date, cheating in games and making our girls look pissy and frustrated because they can't beat our ass like they said they would" After that, he left a small kiss on the side of your head while you were trying your best to not blush at the fact that he had indirectly called you his girl.

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for idiots" It was supposed to be an insult but the way his smile lighted up when he heard you say those words was the cutest thing ever.

Kihyun cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool bad boy facade on "I mean have you seen me? Who wouldn't be a sucker for this?"

"Excuse me? You mean, who wouldn't be a sucker for this right?" You asked smiling confidently, resting your hands on your hips

"That's the same thing I ask myself every now and then, how the hell are you still single?"

You chuckled, shaking your head softly "I'm a bit picky" Shrugging, you turned around looking

“How am I doing though?” Kihyun asked smiling confidently

“Not too bad” It was really hard to not laugh when your eyes landed on his disappointed face “I mean you won’t lose playing against me and that’s pretty frustrating, makes me kind of hate you actually”

“I knew coming to the arcade wasn’t a really good idea” Rolling his eyes, he gripped your sleeve and started walking slightly faster. pulling you out while you walked behind him. “Come on, let’s get some ice cream so I can compensate beating your ass so many times”

You didn’t complain and just smiled at the back of his head as he kept pulling you first out of the arcade and then down the street where you knew was a really good ice cream shop.

Happiness was an extremely accurate word you could use to describe how you were feeling. Since the moment Kihyun had shown up at your doorstep he had showed you a side of him you doubted many people had been able to see. This thought made you realized that even when Kihyun seemed to know a couple of things about you, the information you had of him was too little, non existent was also another term for it.

“How many dates have you ever gone to?”

The question slipped out of your lips as soon as Kihyun stopped walking to take a quick look at the menu, he always ended up buying that Nutella ice cream that drove his inner chocolate lover mad but the male always tried to find something better, even when he knew that was impossible. He thought you were looking at the menu too but your question told him you had your mind elsewhere, Kihyun had expected this to happen, he had asked you out without talking too much about his personal life and at some point it was going to be normal for you to ask questions about him.

“Not too many, never had much time for this things” He replied casually, sighing when the Nutella flavour won over the rest of them “Which one do you want?”

“Nutella, isn’t it like the best flavour ever?” He smiled nodding, ordering your ice creams before he turned to look at you

“Afraid I had too many girlfriends?” He smirked leaning back against the counter, sliding his hands inside his pockets

"You? With that shitty attitude? I doubt it" You smirked back at him, staring into his eyes “I’m just curious”

“Well for your information I only dated once and it was arranged” Kihyun replied, taking some money out of his wallet to pay “Her dad was kind of doing business with mine and us becoming a couple was supposed to be a good thing”

“Was supposed to?” You asked frowning, slightly confused

“More like dating we just kept getting in each other’s bed, you know? Her older brother found us one time, he tried beating my ass but I ended up beating his and as some kind of lame revenge her father tried to go behind my dad’s back but he ended up dead”

“What happened with her?”

“Dead too” You choked on your saliva not really expecting that answer from him “Why?”

Ice creams in hand, Kihyun and you walked out of the shop, crossing the road to get into the park where there were some benches the both of you could sit on and talk for as much as you would like. Kihyun stayed quiet for a second, his mind trying to come up with a way of answering your question without getting into too much detail and arising even more doubts. Your curiosity was too much for him sometimes.

“Imagine how would you feel if I killed your whole family” Kihyun blurted out making you frown “Oh fuck, God...Do not imagine that, I would never do it” You nodded quietly, still not knowing how to reply to what he had just said as you sat down on one of the benches. Kihyun moved to stand in front of you, eating a little of his ice cream before trying again “We are humans and when we are deeply damaged there are two feelings that control us” He looked down at you, mesmerized by your adorable eyes as he explained why his father murdered an entire family “First comes the depression and then rage, rage that leads to revenge” Your eyes brighted and he knew you finally understood where the conversation was heading to

“Why would he be scared of a teenager though? She couldn’t have taken down somebody so powerful right?”

“Baby” Kihyun sat down next to you “Revenge is a dish best served cold” He muttered looking up to the sky “My father wasn’t scared of the teenager, he was afraid of the powerful woman she would have become if he had forgiven her”

“Mhmm” You hummed quietly, swinging your legs as you kept eating your ice cream “What did you think?”

“About what?”

“About what happened to that family” You looked up at him, hope in your eyes that he wouldn’t be a murderer like people said

“I have blood in my hands (Y/N), you can’t expect me to say what my father did was a really bad thing” It felt as if he had pulled a bucket of cold water over your head to melt the warm hope in you “I mean, killing somebody because they tried to beat up your son wasn’t a good decision”  He ate some more of his ice cream “But look at it in a tactical way, in the mafia, in my world, when somebody goes behind your back you automatically gain the right to kill that person” He explained “So the fact that he killed that man wasn’t unfair at all” He looked at you, serious, trying to read your thoughts “Killing Ellie was for our survival, she was a future enemy ready to do whatever it takes to murder us so he eliminated her before she could do that”

“So what? If I break up with you I’ll end up dead?”

“What?” Kihyun frowned deeply, turning his whole body on the bench to look at you. He looked confused, even hurt and you started to slightly regret asking that question "Are you scared of me?"

"I'm scared of getting hurt"

"Physically or emotionally?" Kihyun asked even more serious, both of your ice creams already forgotten thanks to the conversation that was currently being held.

"Both" You replied honestly "Kihyun, we both know that dating won't be an easy thing between us" You reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it softly as you traced small circles on the palm of his hand. You weren't trying to offend him, you just wanted to explain yourself. "You have a bunch of enemies and-"

"I'm going to stop you right there actually" Kihyun cupped both of your cheeks so you couldn't look away from him. "Listen to me (Y/N) because you need to understand this if we want to...Date each other" Gulping you nodded, letting out a shaky breath "I don't know if this is love but I've never felt like this for somebody else" He rested his forehead against yours, his gaze more intense now than ever "I swear to God and on my own life that if somebody, no matter who it is, attempts to damage you, I'll kill them" Your heart was pounding against your chest as fast as his, your mind racing, processing the words he was telling you "But that won't be necessary because I won't let anybody touch you, threaten you or even look at you in a bad way, you hear me?" His tone had lowered and his lips were closer to yours now "Your safe with me, I'll risk my own life, reputation and all I have just to have a chance with you"

"K-Kihyun"

"Believe me when I say that nothing will happen to you, (Y/N)" He whispered again, his lips brushing against yours when he spoke "I want you by my side"

What happened from them on was an absolute blur.

Kihyun leaned forward and closed the distance between the two of you, crashing his lips against yours. The kiss was hard and rough, nothing like a first kiss, it wasn’t gentle or passionate, it was needy, hungry and desperate. You could feel his desperation on his lips, taste the fear of you walking away after what Kihyun had explained you, it was as if the kiss was his last attempt of making you stay. At this point you knew words couldn’t calm him down, you knew Kihyun wouldn’t let you speak right after he had opened his own heart to you and confessed all his feelings so you kissed him back, slower and way more gentle, placing one of your hands on his cheek to calm him down. At first Kihyun didn’t respond to the change, he kept pulling you closer, tilting his head to deepen the kiss but when he realized you weren’t going to follow his pace, the male relaxed and finally started following yours. He relaxed with your touch and melted against your body, his muscles stopped being tense as soon as your hands started travelling down his back.

“It’s okay” You whispered against his lips, leaning back when he leaned forward to kiss you once again “We will be okay, Kihyun”

The reality here was that Kihyun seemed to be even more scared than you. Not because you would end up being a target as soon as the both of you officially started dating but because you would end up being incredibly scared of him as soon as you realized he was the bad guy everybody talked about. That it was true when people called him a murderer, a thief and a liar but what he didn’t understand was that you had been able to see the nice and sweet guy hidden behind all of that, you managed to do what anybody has done and that was getting to know the real Kihyun, the one who had a real heart and feelings unlike what people said.

If it wasn’t for the sound of someone clearing their throat right besides the two of you, the make out session would have kept going right there in the park where everybody could see the two of you. When Kihyun leaned back, his lips were swollen and his pupils dilated liked yours, the both of you were breathing heavily and your hearts were beating even harder and faster than before.

“Let’s get out of here” He muttered standing up, intertwining your fingers with his “Your apartment, let’s go there”

You’ve never gotten to your apartment so fast.

Even though you had feared with your life while Kihyun drove like a madman through the city you were kind of glad when five minutes later, he had you pressed against the wall while he took of his shirt, tossing it across the living room off your apartment. None of you weren’t virgins but it was extremely obvious that Kihyun was less nervous about this and he was really determined to make you feel as good as he could, although he wasn’t patient and it wouldn’t be long till the two of you found your way to your bed.

With your legs wrapped around his hips, and his lips attached to your neck you had turned into a moaning mess in a few seconds. A mess that had her panties wet and needed her boyfriend as close as he could get to her.

“Kihyun”

The sound of you moaning his name was enough to wake him up from his trance and with an unexpected force that turned you on even more, Kihyun moved you away from the wall and carried you into your bedroom without moving his lips away from your skin. You didn’t know you were in your room until Kihyun and you fell onto your bed, absolutely naked and with him between your legs.

Fuck it felt so good.

“Babygirl” Kihyun moaned, rubbing his boner against your wet entrance as you wrapped your arms around his neck “I promise I’ll take my time with you later but right now I need to be inside of you, please, please, I’ll make it up to you” You didn’t know what was hotter, Kihyun begging or a mafia boss begging to be inside of you

“Fuck me already Kihyun”

He didn't need to be told twice, as soon as those words got out of your lips Kihyun squeezed your intertwined fingers and pushed his hips forward, thrusting inside of you slow but hard, gently but needy. The two of you moaned at the same time, the pleasure of the sexual tension that had been arousing you all this time finally being satiated was overwhelming the both of you, literally making him lose control.

Kihyun's sweaty yet tense body started thrusting in and out of you so hard that the headboard of your bed started hitting the wall, giving away what was going on inside the bedroom. It would be a miracle if later, your neighbors wouldn't come to complain about all the noise the both of you were making.

Neither you or Kihyun were trying to hold back your moans and groans, the only important thing for him was your pleasure, your moans and you screaming his name as if it was the only word you could say.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Kihyun please" You groaned, your body tensing up as you kept coming closer and closer to your orgasm "Please, baby, please do not stop"

"I'm not stopping" Kihyun groaned, resting one hand on the headboard to make hks thrusting even rougher, to get even deeper inside of you "I won't stop until you're shaking underneath me, love"

It didn't take too long though, in a couple of more thrusts you were screaming his name at the top of your lungs while Kihyun moaned too, filling you up with his warm cum. You didn't even care he hadn't used protection, after tonight you were so in love with him that your mind only cared and worried about him, about the two of you as a couple.

"F-Fuck (Y/N)" He stuttered, lowering his body to press it against yours, to kiss you deeply.

His tongue fought with yours, your hand gently gripping the hair on the back of your head as you two got into another steamy make out session.

"You know what?" He whispered against your lips, groaning when he pulled out of you "I love you, I love you so god damn much"

Kihyun looked down at you, rubbing his nose against yours as he pecked your lips sweetly from time to time. You smiled, looking into his eyes as you returned every single kiss he gave you.

"I love-"

The sudden noise of clapping interrupted everything. Your sentence, the romantic moment and your lives. Kihyun jumped and covered you up with the bed sheets so whoever that was standing there wouldn't see your naked body.

When he turned around and saw Jaebum with a smirk, arms crossed on his chest and gun in hand Kihyun knew coming to your apartment had been a mistake. He should have been more careful, waited until the other male stopped messing with him or just killed him to make sure he wouldn't come after him.

But the need of confessing his feelings had been stronger and that had made him impatient and careless.

"I knew she" Jaebum said looking your way, it made you feel as if you were naked, as if there wasn't anything covering you "Would make you make a mistake, you had your mind too busy with lovely thoughts to realize I was right there, waiting to hunt you down"

"Leave her out of this" Kihyun stood up, his pants already covering his most private parts, as he placed his body in front of yours to keep Jaebum's eyes away from your body.

"Kihyun, you know we can't leave survivors around...It's a common rule" Jaebum sighed, pulling his gun up "So how do you want to do this? Want to see me killing her first and then face your own death or would you prefer dying first and leave us alone?" He glanced at you over his shoulder "I do not have anything against you love but dating this guy has consequences and you're so unlucky that you will be facing them on your first night together"

"Fuck off Jaebum" Kihyun attempted to step closer but he pulled his gun higher, aiming at Kihyun's forehead

"Oh? Seems like you want to die first" He muttered

"Wait" You mumbled, lower lip shaking as you stared at him "Please...Please do not do it...Please"

Jaebum smirked, rolling his eyes.

"Honey, no begging will warm up my frozen heart and make me walk away"

Right after that, the echo of a gunshot rang in your ears but you were too scared to open your eyes.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl-

i didn’t die i just fell in love with that skill tree creator and have done nothing for the past few days but make skill trees and sleep for 3 hour intervals. im very excited for the gameplay on Wednesday but oh man oh me oh my i gotta catch up on a lot of posts lol

tl;dr: Fl4k is a badass. Stop misgendering them or I’ll show up at your home at 3am local time every time and then eat your spine. Bonus: Mr. Chew being an ‘Eridian skag’ is probably due to some funky mutation from eridium/slag/eridian stuff. Kinda like how Threshers have the ability to make singularities because they are native to Elpis, which is a big ol’ Eridian base (which i totally addressed in this post lol). I also gave my opinion on Fl4k’s skills in general, if you’re interested in that. Overall, a very awesome trailer! Definitely lived up to the hype.

i said it before, this trailer was one of the best ones. definitely #2 for me, Zane is still at #1 because i actually laughed during it. the music in this one is definitely the best out of all 4 tho. seems like they’re all variations of the same song, i like this one best. I need this soundtrack sooo bad.

also i know probably no one else following this blog watches one piece but like

that first footstep with the studded boot and the sound effect immediately flung me back to katakuri. god katakuri was a badass. i was so excited to see that fight animated.

mr chew spinning around is my favorite thing ever. i love that you can tell the personality of the pets just from watching the intro. 

i know fl4k is like a real badass in this trailer, but i get the feeling they’re going to end up being at least a little soft for their pets. i mean... they have stuffed animals of them ffs.

so... we’re near Sanctuary-III in this trailer? I gotta keep my eye out then. i also want to see if that one claptrap area guess i had is correct or not... this looks like an entryway for the garage so im guessing i wasn’t, but let’s seeeee

there is a raised bit up and to the left

also im wondering if this means we’re going to have to rescue ellie from the CoV.

hmmmmmmmm

hmmmmm i don’t think the signs match up.

mr chew is the goodest boy. im so glad we can pet/interact with him!! i want to know what the names of the other pets are

also, a bit off topic but

i could have sworn fl4k’s jabber was cryo/shock. it was blue, wasn’t it? i wonder if they changed it or if it’s skill upgrades change its color. i thought the upgrades just gave it better guns.

yeah it was! i guess possibly upgrading it with the guns gives it a new color scheme? maybe? this could be the gunslinger upgrade!

it looks like their jabber went through the most design changes out of all of the pets. that or this is yet another upgrade (since each pet has 3 states). maybe this is the beefcake version.

‘bitch’. i love how expressive fl4k is with just the eye. very well done.

ohhh you know what that building is in the back?

[we’re near the intro to the game!]*

and tbh i don’t think this place has the building for Ellie’s Scrap in it... i don’t see it anywhere. maybe this is the actual scrapyard and the building is on the other side?

not quite sure tbh. but at least we know this place may also be near sanc-iii, just maybe not the same area as the actual Ellie’s Scrap.

i mean... there IS a shitload of cars everywhere. i wouldn’t surprised if it’s near her garage cause it looks like a scrapyard.

but also where in the fuck are all these ‘normal’ looking cars coming from?? it’s not like we see them being used on pandora. all the ones we see in bl1/2 are clearly dilapidated and rusting. big thonk. at least the vans/busses kinda make sense.

oh yeah that is definitely the same building. [it’s the recruitment center!]*

this scene with the rakk is my favorite out of all the trailers. so fuckin cool

i do hope the jabber goes back to being blue at some point. i like the red design too, don’t get me wrong, but i much prefer the glowy blue. it’s my favorite color and you guys know i love glowing things 👀

<Huge Selection!!!> lol

cat/doggo/monkey. mr chew is my favorite pet but i love the jabber panting like a dog lol

i never knew this is where spiderant mouths were

i always assumed they were below that... f r e a k y

“he likes to chase cars”

fl4k probably took them to the scrapyard for this exact reason ngl. fl4k being a big softie to their pets confirmed

(also, notice how fl4k uses ‘he’ for mr chew. it’s almost as if they understand the concept of gender, chose their own pronouns, and your argument that they only are nonbinary only because they “don’t understand yet” is invalid! Fl4k is canonically nonbinary and uses they/them/theirs pronouns as confirmed by both SungWon Cho and their in-game skills. 

Now that you know, use they/them/theirs for Fl4k or get off my blog. Because by not doing so, you are disrespecting the devs’ wishes for this character AND the nonbinary people who find representation in them and I won’t support that. if you feel like arguing your reasons to purposefully misgender them even after knowing this, please DM me so I can block you. thanks! 

For those of you out there actually making an effort: mistakes happen, especially if Fl4k is the first NB person you’ve learned about. Just make sure to correct yourself then move on, and we’re okay. Everyone has to learn sometime and it’s better to put in the effort than not care at all. It will become second nature.)

Fl4k is such a badass, they really are way different than i expected (personality-wise), but i am not complaining. gearbox knows me better than i know myself, so i know i’m going to end up loving Fl4k anyway. ProZD did such a fantastic job, i honestly did not recognize him at first! i can tell with certain words now, but wow i am blown away. 

i hope we’re able to climb that bird’s nest lookin’ thing in the back. it would be perfect for sniping and/or placing ur clone for maximum coverage.

seriously, what a badass.

idk i feel obligated to give my opinions of Fl4k over here since they were recently released. I am digging them 100%, tho i was kinda surprised (not in a bad way) they’re not as... i guess soft as i was expecting from their character design with the plushes and the face on the backpack and the smiley face pin, but i imagine that’s different when they’re interacting with their pets. im super curious to see how this VH group’s dynamic is going to go. 

mechanically, their skills seem perfect for people who loved sniper Zer0 and in general Mordecai, with a splash of Salvador tossed in for good luck. I am a dirty melee Zer0 main and i prefered Phasewalking over Bloodwing (altho i still play mordy bc he’s best bl1 VH) so, while I am definitely going to give Fl4k a go, they’re not my main bl3 Vault Hunter, that’s reserved for Zane and his lovely ability to befuddle enemies and run around. Funnily enough, I’m not even a fan of pet classes, so Fl4k being second in my play order is pretty funny. Tho, yeah, Amara being last is also pretty weird. I guess I don’t necessarily enjoy melee, I just enjoy messing with the bad guys lol

ohh, also, I am most interested in the upgrade for mr. chew that gives him the ability to create singularities and is called ‘Eridian Skag’. 

so I’m not saying my theory that the threshers on the moon were connected to Eridians was right, I’m just saying they’re the only form of wildlife we know that has a singularity ability (outside of Mr. Chew, apparently). 

im just saying gearbox, you should hire me to write your deep lore for you cause i’d do it for free

im wondering if we’ll be seeing skags with wormhole abilities in bl3. maybe the constant exposure to slag is starting to mutate them further beyond just elemental bonuses (on badass skags). We know Maya’s phaselock has a singularity ability (so does Amara’s phasegrasp), and that is sorta ‘occurring naturally’ (you know, as natural as siren powers can get) unlike the singularity grenades we encounter which use our known technology. plus, uh, whatever happened to the destroyer’s eye in TPS that made it create a singularity/wormhole by injecting it with a fuckload of slag. that probably has something to do with this as well.

but geez i really hope mr. chew is okay with being all slag/eridium-ed up. i guess being badass elemental skags doesn’t appear to hurt them, just make them more powerful, unlike humans. maybe that has something to do with sentience, if slag/eridium/eridian stuff actually is driving bandits crazy. could explain why/if the jabber doesn’t get an element like the skag (eridian skag) and spiderant (fire) do, since they’re described as semi-sentient...

anyway.

Fl4k is cool. Definitely a neat trailer- my second favorite for sure- and the skill tree drop blew me away because i was not expecting it. im expecting a lot of Fl4k mains in the first few weeks of gameplay because they look like a lot of fun!

EDIT: i was wrong, in the newest IGN vid, it turns out we ARE near the recruitment center, because that IS the recruitment center

they gave them little orange flags! good to know!!

[themoonandotherslikeit]

What the Rain Can’t Wash Away- Chapter 5

*FINAL PIECE IN THE LOOK IN HER EYES TRILOGY*

Sixteen years after Lucifer rose, and Dean lost his wife he finds himself with a teenager, a Nephilim, an angel, and his brother living out a Full House rerun with some seriously dark undertones. How will he be able to raise his daughter, fight monsters, and deal with the loss of the love of his life? Sometimes moving on is the hardest part, but with the Winchester’s there’s always something harder around the corner. Isn’t there?

Chapter Five, Adventures in Babysitting

Dean

Two days ago

The mansion loomed under a dark, threatening sky. Thunder boomed in the distance making the whole thing real fuckin dramatic. "Why is it always stormy when we are about to do something dangerous?"

"We live in the Midwest, man," Sam said with a laugh. "Crazy weather is just kinda a given."

I shrugged. "Yeah, you got a point." I rubbed my hands together before pulling out my gun. "Alright what's the game plan? Go in guns blazin?"

"Maybe I should go in and see if I can find it myself," Castiel said quietly.

I eyed him. "Why do you get to have all the fun?"

"Because I am an angel of the lord."

"Of Chuck come on, Cas. Enough. We go in as a family or not at all."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Okay, You take the back entrance, Cas and I will get the perimeter. But, listen man, don't make me have to go home and tell your daughter that you bit the dust."

I groaned. "Fine, fine. I'll be careful. Look, got my gun." I waved it. "My holy water is in my pocket, silver blade in my boot, I even got some sweet iron knuckles... I'm ready for anything. Let's get it."

We nodded, and I slowly crept my way around the mansion. I kept my eyes peeled for movement, but honestly it was all pretty quiet. The only sound was the wind whistling.

I climbed the stone steps to the back door, and tentatively reached for the brass knob. It turned easily.

"Dean Winchester! Let me out! You really think this is going to work? You're a hairless monkey. Nothing more than Gods mistake."

It was endless screaming inside my head. Michael, in my own fucking voice. He strangely sounded like my father.

He was so distracting. The screaming. The banging. The scratching against the door. It was so distracting that I wasn't concerned that the big house that supposedly had an Arsenal kept the back door unlocked. I was so distracted that I didn't hear the creak of the wood behind me. I didn't hear the step. There was just a swift pain, and then blackness.

  Ella

 We stopped to fill up the bike. I bent down on a stretch to touch my toes. My back cracked in response. "God that feels good."

"You look really sexy doing that," Claire said.

I eyed her from between my legs. "Take a picture, it lasts longer."

"You got it, sweet cheeks." She grinned, before turning back to the pump.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Dad again. The rings echoed in my bad like a bad pop song that was played way too damn much. You've reached Dean. You know what to do. Beep.

"Hey Dad. It's me. I haven't heard from you in a few days, so I'm coming after you. I know you're gonna be pissed, but guess what? I'm pissed, too. This is what family does. We come after each other. So I'll see you soon, and I hope you're okay." Click.

"We will find them, Ellie," Jack said, taking off his helmet. His hair was sticking up all crazy, and I leaned in to tussle it back.

"I know we will."

Jack frowned, like he was annoyed with my hands in his hair and he batted me away. "The Winchesters are the strongest men I know, they will be okay."

"They're going to be mad that we came, if they're okay," I said crossing my arms.

"They will," Jack agreed before unexpectedly pulling me into a hug. "But they will be happy to see you. They always are. You make things better, Ellie. There's no sense in being scared or worried when you're around. You're like sunshine."

"He's right, ya know," Claire said with a smile. "Now what do you think, Winchester's? Ready to roll."

"Yup," Jack and I agreed together before sliding our helmets back on.

I'm coming, Dad. Hold on tight. Don't give up just yet. I'm coming.

  Dean

 "Dean, wake up."

Her hands were on my cheeks, soft, and gentle, just like I remembered.

"Baby, open your eyes. Oh my god, Sam! He isn't waking up, can I get some help over here?"

My eyes fluttered open, I'd recognize that voice anywhere. "Ave?"

"Hey, hi... yes it's me," she breathed, holding my face in her hands "Hi."

"Hi back," I whispered before frowning. "You can't be here." I could hear Sam's words echoing in my head Poughkeepsie.

"I am here."

"You can't be. You died.. I held you when you died."

"You've been poisoned, Dean."

"What?"

"Djinn poison,” she said, standing on her tip toes to break me free from the restraints that had me hanging from the ceiling. "It took you. Think you were having a bad trip."

"What?"

"We really need to get you to the hospital," she said before unlatching my restraints. I fell to my knees with a loud thump. "Can you stand?" She crouched in front of me.

I looked at my hands. There was no age in them. I flexed my fingers. They didn't ache. What the fuck?

"Hey! Earth to Winchester!" Ava said, alarmed. "Come on, before it comes back."

I met her blue eyes. If it was real, we couldn't just run. "We need to take it down, Ave."

She rolled her eyes. "Come on, stubborn ass. Stop arguing. Sam's got it."

I gripped her shoulders, stopping her from turning away from me. "Ava, I want this to be real. I do, but you died. Djinn don't give out bad acid trips. They want you to stick around inside your head while they suck you dry, so why would I want to stay in a world without you?"

She smiled back at me gently, one I'd seen a hundred times before. The blue of her eyes seemed to almost change color in front of me. They softened and she smiled a bit. "Dean, for you, you'd always question something good. I think they gave you something bad because it was more believable," she said quietly. "But can we talk about this when we are no longer in mortal danger?"

"Ava, did you get him? We've got company!"

"Yeah, I got him!" She yelled back to Sam before meeting my eyes. "I do have you, right? You're here? You're okay."

I looked myself over. I felt like shit and my muscles were sore from being strung up, but yeah. "Yeah. I'm here. Let's go."

I let her swing my arm over her shoulder and we went out to the car. She leaned me against it and patted down my pockets, looking for the keys.

"Woah, Sweetheart, now maybe isn't the right time." I grinned lamely, still feeling the weight of her death as if it were real.

She rolled her eyes again with a gentle laugh. "I need the keys, Dean Winchester. We can do some of that later." She slid her hand into my pocket, and a little too close to the inside of my thigh before she pulled out the keys. "Bingo."

"Tease."

"Shut up." She countered before putting me into the passenger seat. "Sams got his own car. I'm taking you to the ER."

"Come on, Ave. I just need a beer, and I'll be good." I said, resting my hand on her thigh as she started the car.

"Respectfully, it isn't up to you," she said, eyeing her thigh before she pulled out of the parking lot. "So," she said quietly, glancing at me. "What'd you see?"

"Other than you dying?" I laughed weakly. "Sixteen fucking years without you."

"Wow, really? That's a long time, Dean." Her eyebrows came together. "You sure you still like me, after all of that?"

"Yeah!" I said a little too quickly. "Of course I do. What kind of question is that?"

She shrugged, idling at an intersection. "Anything weird happen in that sixteen years?"

"Well," I laughed. "Nel was dating Biker Barbie."

"Who?"

"Claire? Oh shit, um.. in my head she was Castiel's vessel's daughter."

Ava raised an eyebrow. "And who is the other person?"

"What?"

"You said that Nel is dating Biker Barbie... who is Nel?"

My blood ran cold, and suddenly my mouth felt really fucking dry. I stared at Ava. Really looked at her, from the top of her head, down her long curls, her arms, and down to the tips of her fingers. There was no wedding ring.

"Dean, you good?" She asked, her eyes wide. We were still stopped at the light despite the green signal to go.

"Uh... yeah. Shit. Sorry. What month is it?"

"March." She laughed, raising her eyebrow. "You sure you're okay? You're kind of freaking me out."

"I don't know," I admitted, feeling a hole in my stomach. She couldn't be in my imagination. I held her in my arms. I watched her grow up.

"So, who is Nel?"

We never broke up. She never got an anti possession tattoo. We never risked it. She never got pregnant. She never died. I never went to Hell.

My head was spinning.

"In my Djinn dream... she was... she was our daughter," I said, looking at my lap. It was too fucking early to tell her that. To tell her that I married her. That she fucked Sam. That she died not once, but twice in my arms. That I couldn't save her.

"We had a daughter?"

"Yeah."

I jumped when she busted up into laughter. "I'm sorry, but that's insane. Right?"

"Is it?"

"We're hunters, Dean. From what I can tell they aren't exactly the parenting type."

No kidding. I sighed. "Dunno, it ended up working out okay. She had a good life."

"You're not like, asking me to bare your children, are you?" She asked, alarmed, as we pulled into the hospital.

"No," I said quickly. "You're right. I've seen it play out." There was blood in our baby's mouth. I could stop that future from happening. I could stop Ava from dying. If she was never with Lacey and the baby she wouldn't have died in that church. My heart squeezed at the thought. "No kids in the cards for us."

"Okay, good," she said, sounding relieved. "We are just.. this is good. What we have." She reached out and touched my cheek with her open palm. "I'm not ready to share you. Sharing you with Sam is bad enough." She smiled widely.

I know the feeling. I sighed again. "Let's get me checked out so I can have a fucking beer. I'm exhausted."

  Ella

 It was storming when we arrived at the large mansion. "So this is it, huh?" I asked, swinging my legs over the side of the bike.

"Looks like it," Claire said, gesturing to the Impala that was parked outside of the gate.

"No one bothered to even move it," I said quietly, my stomach clenching. That wasn't a good sign.

"Here," Claire said, handing me a weapon.

"What's the plan?" Jack asked, staring at Claire and I, as if we would have all the answers.

I had none. I had expected him to call by now. At this point I just hoped he was alive.

"I think we should check out the perimeter, and then see the best way in. If he's as dangerous as Cas said, then he may have traps," Claire said, her eyes already scanning the property.

"Do you think we should split up?"

Claire pressed her lips together in a tight line. "Honestly, El... I don't think you two should go at all, but we are kind of low on back up right now."

I reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I'll be careful," I promised. "But you can't bench me on this, he's my Dad. He's all I've got left."

She reached up, taking my face in her hands. "And you're all I've got. So don't go getting hurt, or I'll kill you."

"Got it," I said, pressing my lips to hers. It was a promise. I couldn't let anything happen to me, because I knew what it felt like to lose someone, and I loved Claire. I couldn't do that to her, not again.

I turned to Jack. "You be careful, too, little brother. We have a kitten to get home, too. We would both miss you if something happened."

He nodded vigilantly. "I will stay alive."

"Good." I smiled, and with one more look, the three of us dissipated.

I watched Claire creep around the side of the house, and I made my way to the back. The wet soil squished under my boots. My weapon felt heavy in my hands. I could feel the weight of all of it. Of the possibilities of what I would find inside.

I closed my eyes. Come on, Dad. Where are you?

My eyes shot open, and I examined the windows on the side of the house. What are the chances? I asked myself, as I slid my finger under the window. I pushed up slowly and it creaked open. I grinned widely, and grabbed either side of the screen, popping it out of place. Idiots always leave their windows unlocked.

I slid my leg into the window and ducked inside, closing the window behind me. I didn't need to let anyone know that there was something off. The house felt eerily quiet, and my stomach dropped. I moved through the house with quiet feet on the plush carpet, unknowingly leaving wet footprints in my wake.

If I was a creepy collector, where would I keep my possessions? My eyes scanned the living room filled with old, dusty furniture. There were large bookshelves covering the walls that reminded me of the ones in the bunker. I ran my fingers along the spines. The whole house felt a little too put together, despite the layer of dust that settled on every free surface.

Every free surface but one.

I ran my fingers along the coffee table, pulling them back to find not a speck of dust on my pale pink skin. "Bingo," I said quietly, pushing the table out of the way. I got down on my knees, shoving my gun in the back of my pants. I rolled the area rug away, to expose an old wooden trap door. So fucking predictable bad guy behavior. I rolled my eyes and slowly opened the heavy trap door.

I squinted down into the hole. There were old wooden stairs leading down into absolute blackness. What we do for family. I shook my head, getting out my gun and flashlight. My right hand rested on my left as my flashlight lit my way down the stairs, my gun pointed ahead of me.

In, out, in, out, in, out.

I tried to breathe, my finger resting on the trigger. I didn't want to scare and accidentally shoot someone, or something I shouldn't. My foot rested on the stone floor at the bottom of the long staircase, exposing a strangely high ceiling, and a large echoing room. I squinted in the darkness and let my flashlight scan the room. It looked void of people, and there was a pull string in the center of the ceiling that I assumed was connected to a hanging light bulb.

I reached forward and tugged gently. The lights flickered on to expose an open room. I blinked a few times, my eyes adjusting to the artificial light. "Holy shit." I whispered. There were dozens of shelves covered in magical items, and weapons. I walked along the edge of the room, wondering how they were organized. We thought the bunker had a lot, but this was a gold mine.

The pearl.

I perked up almost immediately, and I quickly scanned the room looking for anything that could fit that description. There were spell books, knives, body parts in jars, but I didn't see any pearls.

My eyes landed on a glass case in the corner. I caught the gleam off a hanging necklace, and I immediately ran to it. There were enchanted earrings, rings, necklaces, and in the center was a perfectly round white pearl resting on a palm sided satin pillow.

My fingers curled around the knob on the door just to find it locked. I glanced around again, just to make sure I wasn't being watched, and I shrugged out of my leather coat. I wrapped it around my arm, to keep myself from being cut and to muffle the sound, and jabbed my elbow through the glass. I reached in, wrapping it in a tissue from my jacket, and pocketed the pearl. He will not have come here for nothing.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply a few times. Come on, Dad.

"Doc gave you a clear bill of health."

"Thank god. I need a beer."

"You and me both, babe."

My eyes shot open. Dad?

  Dean

 "Dad?"

I looked around, my arm swung over Ava's shoulder as we walked out of the hospital.

"Sam said he will meet us at the bar. Djinn is taken care of,” Ava said, glancing at her phone.

"Huh? Oh. Right."

"You sure you're good?"

I looked down at Ava. Her big blue eyes reflected the full moon. I tapped under her chin with my index finger. "Yeah, I'm good." I smiled. "How far is the bar? Let's walk."

She grinned widely. "You want to walk? You have brain damage for sure, Winchester."

"That's rude, Langston," I said bumping her with my hip. It felt weird not calling her Winchester. Felt weird that she wasn't my wife, even though I guess she never was.

"I'm a rude person, what can I say?" She wrapped her arms around me and reached up to kiss me.

I leaned down to meet her halfway. I forgot, in my time under, how short she really was. I ran my thumb across her jaw.

"Dad? Can you hear me?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Did you hear something?"

"No." Ava laughed, reaching up to touch my forehead. "Don't make me put you on bed rest."

"Will you be there?" I grinned at her. "Because if so... I definitely need some medical attention." I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she hit my chest playfully.

"Dad you have to listen to me!"

I turned behind me and squinted. A vague shape stood under the streetlight, but as I tried to make it out the light blinked out. "That's... uh.."

"What?" Ava turned.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I think I'm seein shit. You may be right, maybe I've still got some Djinn juice in my system. Maybe we should skip the beer."

"You got it big guy." She rested her hand on my chest, directly over my heart.

"Dad! Ugh! Dean Winchester!"

"Okay I really heard it this time."

"Heard what?"

"My name." I squinted into the darkness, and like a fucking truck hit me I felt it. Hands on my shoulders from in front of me. A gentle shake. I looked down and saw nothing. "The fuck..."

"Listen to me! God you can't be dead.. come on.. I can hear you!"

I frowned. The voice sounded familiar, I just couldn't quite grasp it. "Who's there?"

"Dean? You're freaking me out..." Ava reached for my hand, but I ignored her stepping toward the street light. I glanced up and almost as if I willed it, the light flickered on, exposing a short girl in a leather jacket.

Her hair was mine. Her lips. The terror painted on her young face. Her name danced to my lips before I could even wonder who she was. "Eleanor?"

"You're safe," she said breathlessly before running and jumping directly into my arms.

"Hey.. how are you...?"

I blinked a few times.

It was a lie. It was all a lie. I buried my face in her hair, unsure of which reality was going to slip through my fingers at any given moment. Unsure of which one I wanted to.

—————

Chapter Six, Dream a Little Dream of You

Get caught up!

Tag list:

@deans-baby-momma

@xjamiedennettx

@linki-locks11

@sonnierae26

[trickkombowerskru]

The Locker Next To Mine-Patrick Hockstetter Imagine

Request: No here is the 14th day of the 25 days of trickkombowerskru! (yes I know I’m late I apologize, but I have been swamped with catching up with things plus finals, and it is now past Christmas  meaning I didn’t catch up when I wanted to, but I do have all the hcs I have to post for this event after this written, I just have 4 more imagines to do) which goes to the amazing @pattycake-hockstetter and she wanted a oneshot with something like where the reader and Patrick Hockstetter have lockers next to each other and they progress to friends through a handful of interactions

Warnings: None

Well that was some of the worst news you could possibly receive. You had just been told, or rather warned,  that this year your locker would be located next to the infamous Patrick Hockstetter's.

You had managed to avoid him this long and the last thing you wanted to do was get onto his radar. You heard the stories of all the girls he ended up there, how he would stalk them, flirt with them, get handsy, and how the ones he finally wore down he would fuck and throw away.

Your locker being next to his was unfortunately a way to paint a big red target on your back for him to see. You manage to stay hidden for about two weeks , maybe catching a glance from Patrick here or there, but overall succeeding in your goal. But of course everything had to come to a halt and today was time for your luck to run out. Taking a deep breath you get to your locker opening it and quickly throwing in your books, grabbing your supplies you would need.

You noticed Patrick was at his as well, doing god knows what, and you'd definitely didn't want to look over and see. You close the door and make your way out of there as painlessly as you possibly can, sliding into your seat in math beside your friend Kelsey.

"Hey girl."

"Hey. Let me just say I am so sorry you got stuck next to that."

"I know it sucks."

"What kind of stuff do you think he has in there? Have you seen it?"

"No and I'd really rather not."

"Oh what if you broke in? It'll be a good way to see."

"Yeah it'll be a good way to see my body in a casket when he kills me for looking through his stuff," you warn her.

"Awww come on dude. Aren't you at least a little curious what he hordes in there?"

"Not really. I am trying to stay off his radar. And breaking into his locker would do everything to put me in the center of it."

"Just think about it."

You roll your eyes, but give her a "Fine" to get her to drop the subject.

The class ends and you get to your locker, and to your unfortunate surprise Patrick is leaning against his, looking in your direction. As if he's waiting for you.

You try to ignore him grabbing all you need, but as soon as you finish he shut the door closed, making you jump a bit at the noise.

"Ya know next time you plan to go through my stuff, maybe don't do it in a class you have with my buddy," he says ending in a chuckle making you curse at yourself that Kelsey had to open her big mouth in a class you forgot you shared with Victor Criss.

"I was never actually going t-"

"Oh believe me Sweetheart I know. You were too scared I would kill you," he cuts in adding another horrible nasally laugh making you on edge.

"Because you believe all that shit about me. You don't even know what I have and haven't done. So how would you know if I bite or not?"

"I-"

You know Patrick could practically smell your fear.

"Relax I'm not pissed."

"Y-You're  not."

"Well I won't be....if you tell me your name."

"Y-Y/N," you say and curse at yourself yet again for still stuttering.

“Y/N.....I’ll see you around.”

“Sure,” you agree, saying anything you need to to get him to leave.

He walks away over to his fellow assholes and you breath in relief, hoping that it was just a one time exchange , but you figured it wasn’t.

You now always felt his eyes on you, even if he was’t speaking, it never lessened the uneasiness. A week later he spoke again turning to you, with that creepy smile of his.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You got pen?”

“Oh....Uh yeah.....,” you say rummaging through your bag.

“Here,” you say giving one to him.

“Thanks,” he ends with a wink to you.

He takes it and walks away heading down the hall to whatever class he had,

A few days later you two speak again.

“Did you do the homework for Snoresinger’s class?,” he asks referring to  Miss Moresinger’s math, the only class you two actually shared

“Yeah. I mean I fell asleep before finishing and sped through the second half this morning before I  left, but I did it.”

“Good enough. What did you get for 7 and 12 ?”

You look through your locker seeing the paper,”

“7 I  got X=36 and 12 I got ab=124″

“Cool. Thanks,”

“I didn’t think you actually did homework,” you joke

“Yeah like I said the first time, there’s a lot of shit you don’t know about me Princess,” he tells you after scribbling down the answer, making you cringe.

“You don’t like being called Princess, do ya Princess?”

“Even if I answer to that question, either way, I know you’ll still call me Princess.”

“Well maybe you know some things about me after all. Thanks for the answers Princess,” he smirks.

You roll your eyes as he walks off, well at least he was being friendly. well as friendly as Patrick could be anyway. You didn’t question it, but thanked God you didn’t end up on his “hump em and dump em” list.

Over the next few weeks small conversations take place here and there, gradually lowering the levels of anxiety being around him used to bring you. Your next full conversation however doesn’t happen until almost the end of the month.

“Hey Princess, I saw you and your little friends out on the field a few days ago, never took you for a stoner.”

“I’m not I only smoke after a big test and sometimes at parties.”

“Well it looked like good shit. Would ya help me and the boys out and tell me your dealer?”

“It’s Jesse,” you say with a slight smile.

“No shit?” he asks kinda shocked since Jesse seemed like the last person who would be a dealer.

“Yeah, you gotta show him the money up front for him to hook you up, but he does work in tandem so if he’s too busy you can also get it from Ellie or Riley, same shit for the same price.”

“Awesome, I’ll be sure to have Vic look into that for us.”

You nod as you head off to your next class of the day. 

Patrick is waiting for you about a week later leaning on your locker door.

“Holy shit Princess,” he says chuckling at the end.

“What?”

“That weed....God Damn.”

You laugh at this as he moves off your locker door.

“Just for that tip off I think you should come hang with us later, you already got in good with the boys,”

You laugh again assuming he’s kidding.

“”Oh you’re serious?”

“Sure am Princess what do ya say?”

“You want me to hang out with you and your gang?”

“Why not?”

“Well for one thing look at me,” you say gesturing to yourself and your seemingly “wouldn’t hurt a fly” appearance. 

“Two I’d really really rather not get hit on by Henry, and three could you imagine the shit that would get spread around?” 

“Oh please since when do you give a shit what people say?”

“I’d rather not get labeled as a gang slut,” you tell him honestly

“You won’t.”

“Only girl hanging out with the 4 of you? I totally would.”

“Oh come on Princess, if it makes you feel any better no one would say it to your face,”

“If I say yes will you stop?”

He just laughs.

“I don’t have to kick the shit out of anyone do I?,” you joke.

“Nah we were just gonna drive out to the quarry and fuck around, maybe get drunk, or smoke the last of our stash.”

“I have been under a lot of stress lately, and that does sound pretty nice.....fine “

And you did, you had an awesome time surprisingly, finding out that you could drink both Henry and Vic under the table. 

Not knowing that that day would be that start of an odd, yet beautiful friendship between you and the 4 toughest guys in school, basically becoming a 5th member of the gang.

[surveysonfleek]

1533.

[Family]

My brother’s name starts with D. Neither of my grandfathers are alive. I look more like my mother than my father. Both my parents are in a serious relationship. I am the youngest of three children. I am the only girl. My mom’s mom is NOT your typical grandmother. I don’t really like my cousins. I have less than five cousins. I’ve shown up at a family party while under the influence.

[Religion & Politics]

I was raised Christian. But I’m no longer a Christian. I believe in God. But I think the Bible is bullshit. My beliefs aren’t influenced by people around me. My dad is religious. My mom tries to be, but who is she trying to fool? I hate church. I wouldn’t have voted in the last election even if I was old enough. I hate politics more than anything.

[Food]

I honestly never stop eating. Chocolate + peanut butter = orgasmic. I only eat Cains mayonnaise. I’ve never eaten a fruit I didn’t like. I love cooked broccoli but not raw broccoli. I love raw peppers but not cooked peppers. I’ve gone a day or more without eating. I crave chocolate on my period. Pizza Hut has the best pizza around.  Cookies & Cream ice cream is one of my favorites.

[Sex, Love & Relationships]

I’ve been told that I was a nine out of ten at giving head. A guy has cheated on his girlfriend with me. I’ve never been cheated on. I had my first kiss when I was fifteen. I lost my virginity in the woods. My best friend lost her virginity a week after me. In the same place I did. I’ve been in the same room as someone having sex. I would rather be on the bottom.

[Music]

I download my music from LimeWire. I love country. I love old school rap. I love alternative. I have All Time Low’s new CD Nothing Personal.  And I love it. I love to sing, but I suck horribly at it. I cannot play a musical instrument. I want to learn to play the drums. I used to take piano lessons.

[School]

My GPA is between 2.0 and 3.0. I took Algebra 1 in 8th grade, and again in 9th. I’ve passed a class with a D-. I don’t do my homework at home. I prefer mechanical pencils. I always do projects the night before they’re due. I’m really smart but don’t always apply myself. I text in school. I’ve gotten my phone taken away in school.

[Beauty & Hygiene]

I straighten my hair often. On lazy days, I scrunch my hair to go out. My only make-up necessity is mascara. I like to wing my eyeliner. I’d rather take a shower than a bath. I’d rather use body wash than a bar of soap. I’d rather use a bath scrunchie than a washcloth. My solution for make-up on lazy days: sunglasses. I use the same routine every day in the shower.

[Smoking, Drinking & Drugs]

I smoke cigarettes. I’ve gotten drunk within the past month. I’ve smoked weed when by myself. The first time I got high was on a holiday. Marijuana should be legalized. I have never and would never drink and drive. I hate light beer. My lighter is purple. My favorite cigarettes are Turkish Silver or Camel Crush. I’ve quit smoking but started again.

[Random]

My nails are pink right now. Going to bed at midnight is very early for me. I could never date a guy that didn’t make me laugh. I have a jar of peanut butter in my room right now. I wear sunglasses a lot. Gogurt is really good in the freezer. I’ve been in Hollister, but I don’t own anything from there. Purple is my favorite color. There is no such thing as an ugly color. I need more pens. ______________________________________________________________

I like where I’m at right now. My feet are freezing. I hate feeling awkward. I love driving on country roads. I love driving fast, too. I currently have a cold. I have a crush. No, it’s more than a crush. I always wondered what it’d be like to start over, where no one knew me. I go on Yahoo Answers. I get nostalgic every once in awhile. I really don’t like my father. My mother is one of my best friends though. I don’t mind when people stare at me. No, it’s annoying as fuck. I can’t stand people who are extremely selfish. A Change Of Pace is a good band. I have gotten a new phone within the past month. I want to go to Florida soon. Peach snapple iced tea is theee best. I wrote books when I was younger. I’m really creative, especially when I apply myself. I use Facebook a lot more than I used to. I’m constantly told I’m beautiful, but I still sometimes don’t believe it. One of my friends came out as gay this year. I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t have someone. I’m way too quiet, and I wish I could change. I need to party. Music and books are my favorite. I love everything about the fall. I always smell really good. My hair looks nice today. I have long fingernails. I’ve kissed a Ryan, Mike, or Justin. I’ve been in love with a Josh, Christian, or Scott. I envy no one. I’m going to an amusement park soon. For a halloween-related thing. I don’t like beer. I don’t like soda. I’ve worn a turtle neck in the past year. I wear them often. Outspoken is something I’m not. I express myself through quotes and lyrics. Photography is beautiful. There’s beauty in everything, you just gotta find it. I ordered a pizza recently. Tonight, actually. I wish I could have a whole new batch of friends. Even though I do love the ones I have now. My nose is stuffy. I like orange juice. And sandwich wraps. I love cozy nights at home. I like playing Hebi. Apples to Apples is fun. I have to start applying for jobs. I really need one. Ahhh life is changing fast.  I tend to drive a little bit over the speed limit.

My razor only has two blades. My keyboard is black. I use my friends as arm rests and pillows. My favorite number is odd. My favorite number is a single digit. I love having butterflies in my stomach. The last make up I wore was eyeliner. I’d love to have a winter wedding. I’m really ticklish. I have a facial piercing. I’d only get a tattoo that has significant meaning to me. My boyfriend is taller than I am. My school has a shitty football team. I play Pet Society on Facebook. All politicians are the same, in my opinion. I can’t eat sushi with a fork or else it feels awkward. I’ve never been to New Mexico. I’d definitely consider adoption if I couldn’t have my own children. I like plain-colored t-shirts. Horror movies don’t really scare me. I have a decent vocabulary. Lord of the Rings doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t play any sports. I prefer orange juice to apple juice. I like my toast with butter and jelly. I love cream cheese. I have a celebrity crush. I get frequent headaches. I can play a little piano. My boyfriend drives an Asian car. And so do I. I WANT MORE PIERCINGS. My favorite fruit is a type of berry. I miss somebody right now. Some of my friends live far away. I can burp out the alphabet. I love breadsticks. I can count to ten in at least two languages. I’d love to have a pet owl. I prefer dogs to cats. I only wear actual perfume on special occasions. But I wear body spray on a daily basis. I have pictures of my sibling/s on my phone. ______________________________________________________________

What I have…

Purse/bag Notepad | Altoids | Advil | Wallet | Book | Pencil pouch | Gloves | Earphones | Camera film | Eraser | Pens | Trash | Button | Spare change | Ticket stubs | Tea bag | Plastic spoon

Closet Cardigans | Sweaters | Jackets | T-shirts | Coats | Tank tops | Button-up shirts | Shoe hanger/caddy | Vans | Hiking shoes/boots | Oxfords | Heels | Shoeboxes with misc. things | Nail polish | Keepsakes | Costume stuff from previous Halloweens | Yarn | Looms for knitting | Backpack for backpacking | School backpacks | Old computer | Photo prints | Video games | Stuff I need to sell | Oil heater

Bedside Drawer Pills | Coins | Jewelry | Diary | Hairbands | Hair clips | Bobby pins | Comb | Notepads | Chargers | Lighters | Book marks | Light bulbs | Pencils | A pack of playing cards | Pencil lead | An old birthday card | Earphones | Passport | Miscellaneous screws

DVD Shelf (I have torrents, so I’ll base this off of that.) 28 Days Later | Amélie | Blade Runner | Catch Me If You Can | A Clockwork Orange | The Darjeeling Limited | District 9 | Doctor Zhivago | Donnie Darko | Ed Wood | Edward Scissorhands | Everything is Illuminated | Fright Night | Full Metal Jacket | The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly | The Harry Potter series | In Bruges | Inception |Jurassic Park | The King’s Speech | Lolita | The Nightmare Before Christmas | Run Fatboy Run | Snatch | Sweeney Todd | The Truman Show | Wall-E | Doctor Who | Pushing Daisies | True Blood

Yard A sad, sad lawn | My car | Shed | Flower pots | Garden | Barbecue | Chicken pen (with chickens) | Wood shed | Trees | Rose bushes | Dandelions | Daffodils | Tractor | Gravel | Pathways | Bed for my kitty | An old truck | Bushes

iTunes AC/DC | ADELE | Amy Winehouse | Arcade Fire | Arctic Monkeys | The Beatles | Beck| Beyoncé | Billy Idol | The Black Keys | Canned Heat | Cyndi Lauper | Daft Punk | The Dead Weather | Dropkick Murphys | Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes | Ellie Goulding | Feist | Fiona Apple | Fleetwood Mac | Imagine Dragons | Jack White | Jimi Hendrix | The Kills | Lady Gaga | Lily Allen | Macklemore | Marina & The Diamonds | Mew | Nirvana | Pink Floyd | Portugal. The Man | Queen | Rage Against the Machine | Red Hot Chili Peppers | Rihanna | Sea Wolf | Simon & Garfunkel | St. Vincent | Tears for Fears | Tegan & Sara | Tool | Vampire Weekend | Weezer | The White Stripes | Yeah Yeah Yeahs | ZZ Top

[harryandmolly]

When the World Stops Turning - Chapter 15, pt. 1

summary: a love story in two voices - cowritten with @achinglyshawn

warnings: Language, angst

word count: 7.1k

october

Lydia packs. She packs and packs and packs and it’s the perfect distraction. She strategizes and re-strategizes until her system is flawless. Because at least her system can be flawless if her heart is a fucking shambles. She does text Shawn when she gets home. She wonders if he notices that it’s hours after she left his apartment. She talks to Paul for over an hour lying in the backseat of her car until a meter maid knocks on the window and tells her to leave. The semester isn’t ending until December but she packs anyway. She doesn’t want to see anything that isn’t school related. She’s getting a jump on things — it’s good. She accepts every invitation her nervous friends extend to her during the month of October. She drinks hard and smiles harder, hoping she can fool everyone, including herself, into thinking she didn’t just make the biggest mistake of her life.

He hates that saying, be careful what you wish for, etc etc, but it hangs heavy in this heart these days. He goes through the motions of tour, but it feels distant, like he's not really there, not really experiencing it. He looks at pictures from the tour photographers after each show, and each time he doesn't recognize the man smiling back at him like he's having the greatest fucking time of his life.

His mum is an angel and spares Shawn the need to inform the team of the breakup. She calls Andrew and Andrew lets it spread quietly, and that's kind of nice, that he doesn't have to talk about it. He wouldn't like the way people walk on eggshells around him though, if he were present enough in his own life to care. It's a little pathetic, he thinks, how fucked up over this he is. He can't even bring himself to write music about it. Can't bring himself to put a pen to paper, let alone find a melody to match the way he's feeling. He feels cacophonous and distorted and distant all at once. He doesn't feel like pop music or rock ballads. He feels like white noise and tinnitus. That doesn't make for very good music. Shawn can't believe he used to want this. He used to think about the songs he would write with a little more life experience and a broken heart. He always felt like people were maybe laughing with him when he'd say that, but now he realizes they were laughing at him. And how fucking stupid he was. Now he thinks about the songs he could write if Lydia ever wanted him back, and it keeps him in the shower too long every morning. He pictures what she would say to him when she realized she couldn't leave Toronto without getting him back, how she would kiss him and say she's sorry and how she knows now that being without him during tour is way better than being without him at all and if that's what it takes to have him in her life, then she'll do it. Sometimes he thinks about going to her, thinks about how charming it might be if he found a condo in Vancouver that she could live in during her internship, and that he could go to after tour and they could be together, live together and maybe get a hypoallergenic cat. Every morning he emerges from the shower and reality hits him like the cold air of the white marble bathroom. The fuzzy feeling comes back and his skin goes numb and he doesn't feel like imagining anymore. He smiles on stage and shouts and sings like it's never been more important, and the whole time his brain is off, unavailable to make new memories because all he can think about anymore is the way Lydia's nails sliced his skin open as she pulled his heart from between his ribs and carried it away to Vancouver.

november

Lydia can barely get Paul off the phone these days. She’s sure he’s afraid to leave her alone with her thoughts for too long which makes a lot of sense and honestly, he’s probably right to shield her from the frantic chaos of her own mind. She feels... everything. She went numb in the immediate moments after the break up but since a few hours after, it’s like her senses are on high alert. At least he doesn’t have to deal with her being famous. Everywhere she turns, there he is. He’s on Instagram or on E! News or on tabloids at every grocery store she wanders into because she never goes to the same one twice now to try to escape him. But he’s inescapable so she’s on edge 24/7. Her birthday falls the week before American Thanksgiving every year. She’s turning 27 which sounds and feels old. It sounds more adult than she feels. Her friends take her out and get her plastered and she manages to get past the stage of drunk where she usually starts crying over him and instead manages to enjoy herself. One afternoon she’s lying on the couch studying for finals surrounded by more unpacked boxes when his voice comes on shuffle. It’s ‘Particular Taste.’ She sits ramrod straight and slams her finger on the remote for her stereo as fast as she can. She sits with her head between her knees for a few minutes to breathe. His voice has crowded out the rest of her chaotic thoughts. It should be calming, the singularity of it. But it haunts her. She gets home early from Quinn and Ellie’s a few days after her birthday to a package leaning against her apartment door. Somehow before she looks at it, she already knows who it’s from.

He starts drinking more often. He knows it's probably a bit destructive, but everything feels more real when he's got some bourbon in him and he's a little buzzed. It's the opposite of how alcohol used to make him feel, and he's scared of liking it so much. But then he throws up on Lydia's birthday and he decides he hates alcohol and he's never drinking it again. He's sure that's how everyone feels when they puke from alcohol, but he means it. He accepts Teddy's invite to start getting high with her instead.

Being high is nice; it's not as bad for him and it's awesome for his anxiety. He's pleasantly chilled the day after Lydia's birthday and the haze in his mind is so much softer and gentler than the icy numbness he's felt since the break up. It's in the clarity of the high that he's able to think about Lydia without wanting to scream, and then he remembers her birthday present. It's wrapped up under his bed and he disappears to retrieve it, ignoring the way Teddy calls after him. He re-emerges insisting she drive him to post office like, now. No one can say no to him these days, so they're at the post office 10 minutes later and Shawn is paying for a box to fit the gift in and overnight shipping to Lydia's address. Teddy's looking at him the entire time like she's not sure if this is healthy or like, normal, but she lets him go because it's probably the most self-aware thing he's done in a month and a half. Shawn tilts his head against the window of the car as Teddy drives them back to his condo. He sighs a little, and says, "I just hope she's happy," and his voice is a gruff whisper, like he's mostly talking to himself, so Teddy hums, then reaches and turns up Shake It Off on the radio. Shawn laughs. It feels a little more real than before.

His family doesn’t do American Thanksgiving or whatever, but he goes home anyway and his mum makes turkey anyway because he says he’s craving it.

He’s not, but he remembers the Thanksgiving meal Lydia described for him when she promised to take him home with her for the holidays, and he decides he doesn’t want to be alone.

Lydia needs some moral support so she makes Nadia and Annie come over to stare at the box with her while she decides if she’s going to open it. “I’m gonna do it,” Annie warns. “You will not,” Nadia shoots back. Lydia eyes the box, exhausted. It’s been days that it’s sat on her coffee table making her think too hard. Finally, she sits up and cuts open the box. On top are bags of her favorite roast of coffee from the Himalayan place for her to take to Vancouver. But below it is a vintage vinyl. It’s Can’t Help Falling in Love. She sees there’s a note. She hands it to Nadia. She stares at the record while Annie and Nadia exchange a glance. “So you can have a piece of Alice with you wherever you go,” Nadia reads quietly. Her voice breaks a little. Annie reaches for tissues. Lydia stares at the vinyl with a broken smile. She’s numb again. A few days later, inappropriately long after she’s received the gift, she texts him two words: “thank you.” It’s all she can do to not run away and shut herself up in Hamilton House alone for Thanksgiving. But Paul and Nick are hosting in Boston in their new brownstone and she’s the only one who knows how to make Alice’s cranberry blueberry pie so she has to go. She’s glad she does. Nick and Paul announce they’re adopting and their baby, a little boy, is going to be born in May to a 16-year-old in Omaha. Lydia cries so hard it worries her family but it’s the first thing she’s been happy about in months. The problem is that the first thing she wants to do is tell Shawn. She wants to tell him everything first.

december

December brings Lydia a completed masters degree. Her parents throw a hybrid holiday bash/graduation party. Paul and Nick fly down with sonograms.

She feels ok.

Shawn thinks of at least ten different things to say when she finally texts him ‘thank you’. For the the birthday present, he’s guessing.

I love you, how are you?, are you happy?, happy birthday, you’re welcome, I’m sure you’ll love Vancouver, etc etc.

In the end, he doesn’t say anything at all. She scares him now, like she did when they first met. Maybe more. He wants her back, but he wants to be good enough to deserve her. Which means respecting her feelings and giving her the space she needs. It also means growing up a bit himself, he thinks. He still can’t write songs about her, but he thinks about the songs he might want to write, one day. Songs about what he’s learned from this, but he’s not sure what exactly that is yet. So he doesn’t worry about lyrics, just sits for hours with his guitar or at the computer. He finally starts going live again. He sings covers of songs he never sang around Lydia and he ignores questions about her and he plucks tunes he’s fooling around with. He only realizes how somber they sound when he watches back some of the recordings he finds on Twitter. He’s not home for Christmas, so he FaceTimes with his family and pretends he’s not close to tears. Even though they always do a team holiday dinner thing that he spends too much money on, he feels lonely and he just wants to go home. (He has a sneaking suspicion that home won’t completely dull the ache of loneliness thrumming beneath his skin, but he doesn’t want to think about it.)

The Hamiltons, heavy on tradition and boozy eggnog, opt to spend Christmas and New Years in Nantucket. The island is almost deserted this time of year, just the way Lydia likes it. Most of her favorite little shops are closed, including the ice cream shop that has the world’s best pistachio milkshake, or so she says, but the whole island feels like their little secret. She’s always liked that about winter.

She finds herself wandering up to Alice’s room. SM3 remains exactly where she left it.

Everything is as she left it because it’s all hers now and she has to give permission before anyone messes with anything. She not-so-subtly reminds her mother of this. She drinks too much eggnog every night and thinks about him on Christmas morning and hopes he’s enjoying his family. She wonders what he got Aaliyah for Christmas.

january

Lydia falls asleep in her bed in the Pavilion at 9pm on New Years Eve. She wakes up early the next morning, grumpy over a dream she had of she and Shawn walking down the beach but the beach kept getting narrower and the house kept getting further and she was very disturbed by this but he was ever so casual. She makes French toast for her family and leaves for Toronto to move out of her apartment.

It’s weird leaving. She never really liked this space much. She’d be glad to be rid of it if it didn’t hold quite so much of him. They did some falling in love here. They certainly made some love here on various surfaces, flat and otherwise. Her heart broke open here when she tried to keep it safe and she hasn’t quite got the pieces to fit back together yet but she’s working on it.

She’s excited about Vancouver, she really is, if only to get out of a city where she isn’t just a little concerned about running into him somewhere when he’s home. With a piece of her grandmother’s inheritance, she signs a nice 6-month lease on a condo in the heart of the city and cuts her hair to a sleek lob which she sobs over for a few hours, then decides was a good idea.

Some girl he doesn’t know kisses him at midnight while he’s drunk at another Niall Horan party. He stumbles away from her, mumbling an apology, and he winds up in Niall’s empty bedroom, collapsed on his bed. He lies there and thinks about how that girl stole a kiss from Lydia, and then he laughs drunkenly at himself about how stupid he still is. It’s been months now and he’s still so stupid over her. Still so fucking in love, too. “Shawny?” Shawn sits up a little too fast at the sound of Niall’s voice, and he has to catch his head in his hands as his friend comes into the room. “Hey,” he hiccups when he’s able to look up, “Killer party.” Niall looks concerned and not at all like he’d been downing his sixth pint a moment ago. The Irish, man. They know how to hold their booze. “Y’alright there, mate?” Niall asks as he sits next to Shawn on the bed. Shawn shrugs a little, then nods. He holds up a thumb and wiggles it in Niall’s face. “I am awesome, /mate/,” he says, then laughs at himself because he’s not awesome. He’s alone. “Saw you run away from that bird back there. What’d ya do that fer?” Shawn shakes his head a little, then shrugs, slurs, “Not Lydia, thas’ all.” “You’ll never get over Lydia if ya keep runnin’ from all the girls who aren’t her.” Yeah, tell him something he doesn’t know. Shawn rolls his eyes a little and falls back against the bed. He doesn’t feel like arguing. “Okay,” he says instead, “that makes sense.” Niall laughs at him, then pats his knee and tells him he’ll see Shawn back out there. He stops as he’s about to go through the door, watches Shawn for a moment, then says, “It’s okay if yer not ready to move on yet. Ye’ loved that girl a lot,” before he disappears. Shawn already knew it was okay that he’s not over her yet, but for some reason, hearing it from someone else calms something inside of him. He finds it a little easier to breathe for the next few days.

Vancouver is big and beautiful and devoid of Shawn Mendes. Not entirely, of course, she feels like she’ll never not see his face somewhere she’s not ready to see it, like on a magazine in her office’s waiting room, but there aren’t memories of him stashed around every corner the way there are in Toronto. She still thinks of him every morning when she opens her bag of coffee beans, though. And at many other inappropriate times. Lydia makes friends easily, always has. Her office has a bunch of interns and they all get together and go out. It’s nice because none of them are from Vancouver so they explore together. One night they’re out at a club that Lydia’s pretending not to hate when a remix of ‘Holding Me Back’ comes on and she leaves suddenly without warning. She doesn’t really have to feign an illness because she does feel sick.

february February brings more frigid weather and Valentine’s Day which Lydia does her damnedest to ignore. It makes her feel more hollow than she expected. She’s never been big on Valentine’s Day but she imagines Shawn would’ve done something special for her because he can’t resist. She wonders if he’s seeing anyone. The thought turns her stomach. But she remembers she’s not allowed to think that way. She drinks half a bottle of champagne by herself and almost calls him. Really, her finger is hovering over the call button. She calls Paul to wake him up and cry instead. “Dit, sweetie, it’s been 4 months. I don’t want this break up to ruin your whole life,” Paul says, sounding tired. His sympathy has been wearing thin lately. Lydia either has to get over this kid or get him back because this cannot go on.

He’s about as high as a kite while he lounges on his balcony. He’s halfway through a joint Teddy left for him “in case of emergency”, when he decides to look at Lydia’s Instagram. Yesterday, Valentine’s day, he’d purposefully avoided anything that reminded him of her. But today is the day after Valentine’s and he’s high now so he doesn’t really think it would hurt to see if she’s posted a picture or something. The first new picture he sees is of what he guesses is her desk at work. It’s organized with beautiful precision and it’s so fucking Lydia it makes his heart hurt a little. The next picture is of Lydia, and he thinks his heart stops. That, or it’s beating so fast it feels frozen. She cut her hair. It looks good. So good. But it makes his stomach twist with something unpleasant because he knows Lydia and he knows how much she loved her long hair. He can’t help but think that maybe there’s some symbolism there, that she cut her hair as a way to emphasize her fresh start: a new job, a new town, new hair, and newly single. He feels like the hair that’s been cut away, swept up and tossed out like an old memory she’s ready to part with. He’s calling her before he realizes it, his thumbs moving of their own accord. Shit.

Lydia’s got her hands full, quite literally. She’s balancing her travel coffee mug, phone and keys in one hand and trying to wrestle with her laptop bag and sunglasses with the other. She’s in one of her prim little office dresses with a pair of chunky block heels that are tricky to navigate in down the icy steps to her parking spot. The phone rings. She’s sure it’s Paul or her mom. It could be Nadia or Paloma but they’re on the east coast at their internships and wouldn’t likely be calling at this hour. “Helloooo?” she mutters into the phone, answering without checking as she wrenches her door open.

She greets him in way that tells him she probably didn’t look before answering. It’s soft and comfortable, like maybe she thinks it’s Paul or Margo or someone. Definitely not her ex. He should hang up. He should hang the fuck up. But then a wave of relief washes over him as he realizes this means she hasn’t blocked his number (maybe she deleted it but whatever), and he hears himself blurt, “You cut your hair.”

The same thing that has happened any time she’s heard his voice in the last four and a half months happens again, most inconveniently. She can’t fucking breathe.

She doesn’t say anything, and maybe she’s gone into shock, or maybe she dropped the phone, he doesn’t know, but he wants her to talk to him more than anything. He takes a breath. “It— it looks good. You look good. Vancouver suits you.”

She manages to drop her things on the hood of her car and put a hand in the hair he notices she’s cut. That means he’s checking her Instagram. She unfollowed him months ago. She kept drunkenly checking it and it was bad for her. Something occurs to her. He sounds a little off, like he might be drunk or something. He’s still drunkenly thinking about her. She can’t say she expected that. In her mind’s eye he’s been running around doing what 22 year olds do — fucking everything that moves. That was somehow easier for her to imagine than him missing her. Like it sounds like he is. “I.... hi. Yes. I cut it. I can’t decide if I hate it or not. I’m... sorry, I didn’t expect... to hear from you. Where—where are you?”

He should hang up. It takes her forever to say anything and when she finally does, it’s hesitant and perplexed and a little like she wishes she could hang up on him. His heart aches. It takes him a second to realize she’s asked him a question, and he has to smack his lips before answering because they kind of felt glued together and maybe he’s higher than he thought. “Where— uh, I’m, yeah, I’m home! Tour’s over.” He lets out a soft sigh and it’s the relief of his own words. He’s glad to not be pretending all the time anymore. He’s told Andrew he needs time off, that he needs to find his way back to the right headspace for writing, and so that’s that. He’s on a break. And he feels better, not having to fake a smile all the time or talk about his life like he doesn’t feel as though he’s drifting away from Earth because gravity has decided to relinquish its hold on him. “Where... are you?” He asks before she can say anything.

He’s definitely not sober. She glances at her watch. It’s the middle of the day in Toronto. Which is fine, she supposes, since he’s not on tour. Her stomach drops at the idea that if she had stuck around she could be with him right now. They could be together. “I’m... standing in front of my car. I’m leaving for work soon. I have a patient at 11.”

"Oh, fuck," he says, because he totally forgot about the time difference before he called her. It's 10 her time and here he is acting like he can do whatever the fuck he wants whenever the fuck he wants to. "I'm so sorry, Dit, I didn't even think about the time."

He calls her Dit like it’s August and they’re still crazy, stupid in love. She plants a hand on her car for stability and closes her eyes.

She has no idea what to say to him. She’s afraid of what might come out of her mouth so she forces herself to stay neutral. “How... was tour? Fun?” She wants to smack herself. His brows raise at her question. He didn't expect her to want to continue on with the conversation, especially since she's on her way to work. He can't answer for a moment because he's never lied to her before and he doesn't want to start now. Tour was horrible, but there's no reason to make her feel bad for it. It's his own fault that he couldn't get over her, even if he still disagrees with her stupid reason for leaving.   Then, there's his ego. The idiotic part of him that doesn't want her knowing he's hurt, that he spent all tour licking his wounds. That he's still licking them right now, as he gets blazed in the middle of the day, alone. So he says, "Great," and lets a smile split his lips so it sounds as genuine as he can make it while his mouth feels thick with smoke. "It was really, like, awesome. The crowds were nuts." He doesn't actually remember the crowds like he usually does. He doesn't remember the shows like he usually does. Lydia doesn't need to know that, though. “That’s— that’s great, Shawn. I’m glad. You must be happy to be home though.” She hears it in his voice under a layer of whatever substance he’s on. It’s relief. She recognizes it as the same thing she felt when she got to Vancouver and got her fresh start. Doesn’t feel so fresh when he’s calling her. She has to end this soon because she doesn’t know where it’s going. “I need to get to work soon. Uhm, did you just call to say hi, or?” She sounds a little dismissive. She doesn’t mean to, she’s just anxious. But she thinks maybe it’s better if he isn’t thinking she’s missing him still as much as she is. She thinks about the fact that she hasn’t been able to come since they broke up. She’s tried, boy has she tried, but it’s like her body is broken. She assures herself that like everything else that’s wrong with her right now, it will be healed with time and space.

So, she’s obviously not interested in talking. Big fucking surprise there. He almost laughs at himself instead of answering her. All these months later and he’s still just as desperate as he was the day she broke up with him. He’s supposed to be a rockstar. He’s supposed to move on, to write a Grammy award winning break up album and have another woman on his arm when it drops. Clearly, that’s not what’s happening. “Oh, I, yeah, I’m sorry. Sorry, Lydia, I was just wondering, I guess. Have you smoked weed before?” He wasn’t actually wondering that, but he pretends he was so that he can stay on the phone with her just a bit longer. He should hang up but he doesn’t want to. He wants to keep pretending she might still love him.

She’s piling into her car and pretending like she can go about her day like this isn’t the biggest thing that’s happened to her since she moved out here. She’s jamming her coffee mug into a cup holder when she hears his question. “Have I...” She chuckles and it doesn’t sound as dead as usual. “Yes. I smoked in college. And on girls nights. Paloma always got good weed from Seb.” Now she gets it. He’s high. She likes the idea of him getting high and lying out on his balcony. She bets he’s so fucking cute and spacey when he’s high. She stops that train of thought before it can take her off the rails. “Why do you ask?”

It’s actually pretty sexy, that Lydia likes to smoke. He bets she’s sexy when she’s high, probably giggles more but in a lazy way that would make him wanna bury his face in her neck and rut his hips against her ass. He doesn’t want to think about it. Instead he grabs the lighter, smushes his phone between his ear and his shoulder, then lights his joint again, inhaling as Lydia asks him a question. He manages not to cough while he talks around the smoke billowing from his mouth, “Oh, well, you know. Just thought you’d like it, eh?” He’s such a moron, but his phone is stuck to his cheek and if they’re gonna end this conversation, she’ll have to be the one to do it.

She hears the lighter and smiles a little foolishly. Fuck. She wishes she had a joint. She wishes she had him and a joint. He hasn’t gotten any less sweet or thoughtful. Her amused smile drops a little. She looks around her car. “I gotta go. I’m... I mean, it was nice to hear your voice today. I hope—“ She stops short of finishing that thought. “Enjoy your break from touring. And enjoy your weed.”

End the conversation is exactly what she does. She sounds distant and maybe a little cold, but some of her words stick in his head. He says goodbye distractedly, thinking about the way she said it was nice to hear his voice. He drops his phone, hits the joint, and wonders what she meant by that. It’s not the usual pleasantry - it was nice hearing from you - which is cordial and polite and something you say to someone you don’t really want to talk to again. But nice to hear his voice? That’s different. It’s got a different connotation, even if the words are basically the same. The joint eventually goes out and he fucks around on his phone until he gets too cold to be outside and not smoking, so he goes in for a hot shower. He decides to touch himself, and It’s the first time he’s been able to jerk off properly without feeling utterly guilty for thinking about Lydia or having to stop half way through. He considers that a victory.

march

February ends largely the way it began — quietly and cold. She can’t stop thinking about why he called her. He wasn’t supposed to call her. He’s supposed to be forgetting all about her. Well, not all about her. But he’s supposed to be moving on and getting happy and it’s been five months and she’s really starting to think they’re both still raw. It doesn’t help that she can’t relieve her stress with an orgasm. She doesn’t consider for a second the idea of going out and finding one — she’s not ready for that. But fuck, she can’t even manage one on her own. One night, vibrator, erotica and porn have failed her again and she’s so fucking desperate that she lets herself do something she hasn’t since they broke up. She pictures Shawn’s soft curls between her thighs, imagines the way he would look up at her with eyes dark and probing while nipping at her clit to make her eyes roll back in her fucking head. She comes in under five minutes and it’s so intense she tears up a little. It was a bad idea, in retrospect, because now she knows definitively what her body is craving and it’s not an orgasm. It’s him. She flirts with checking flights like she used to do when he was on tour and she needed to see him. She doesn’t want to actually book one. That would be insane. She put 6 months into recovering from this break up, she’s not throwing that away now to selfishly run back to him and admit she was wrong and beg him to take her back. But she does think about it.

Nothing changes after the phone call, and he’s not sure why he thought it might. He let himself read far too much into her ‘nice to hear your voice’ comment, convinced himself that that meant she’d wanna hear it again, and then next she’d be calling him. But she doesn’t. All she does is bake cake and post pictures of the process on Instagram. He wonders who helped her lick the bowl when he wasn’t there to do it. He hopes no one. That’s his job. Eventually, he forces himself to unfollow her social media accounts because he’s tired of being hopeful over something that’s obviously not going to happen. The more weeks go by, the less he’s able to think, ‘Well, one day...’ because the days keep coming but she doesn’t call him, doesn’t reach out, doesn’t make any indication that she thinks about him, ever. He thinks he owes it to himself to stop thinking about her. Or to try, at least. He writes music, instead. He writes a song he calls Fade, and it’s not very good and there aren’t many lyrics, as he basically just sings “and I’m fading in the morning, burning out at night” over and over in different ways, but it’s how he’s felt these last few months, so he likes it. He plays it on a live session and most fans are nice and say they like it and some of them ask if he’s on drugs because that’s what it sounds like and some people ask if it’s about Lydia. He doesn’t answer anyone. His manager says his studio heard the song and they like it. They like the “minimalist LA vibe” and want to record it so he does and it’s not like, a single or anything, but his producer says he knows DJs who would love to remix it. So he signs whatever papers they draw up and goes back home to smoke. He doesn’t let himself wonder if Lydia will hear it. He’s trying not to care.

Lydia is so good at her job. She’s meticulous in her observations and insightful with the kids and all her supervisors are so pleased and complimentary about her work. She takes the praise and wants more so she works even harder. Paul is worried but she promises she’ll take a break when the baby is born. Paul has stopped asking if she’s ok because he knows she’s not but it’s been 6 months and he knows she feels like she is supposed to be ok by now so he doesn’t want to make her feel bad. She stops going out with work colleagues. She sits in front of her gas fireplace and watches action movies and, when she’s had too much wine, checks his Instagram. He looks happy and relaxed. But she remembers his voice on the phone, the way he didn’t seem to want to stop talking to her. She thinks about calling him but she remembers her forbidden orgasm and decides it’s another in a series of bad ideas. She takes a long weekend in Nantucket and has the place to herself for the first time in her life. She swims laps in the indoor pool and sleeps in her grandmother’s bed and tries not to think about where he might be right now. Before she heads back to Vancouver, she takes his St. Christopher medal out of its hiding spot in Alice’s jewelry box next to her pearls where she left it when she was there for Christmas. She doesn’t wear it but she wants to keep it close. She doesn’t let herself think about why.

He thinks about her less and less, but it doesn’t necessarily get easier. He’s just. Adapting. He gets used to being alone. He guesses the weed and the music help. The time off sure fucking helps. Brian, and Teddy, and Geoff, and his family. They help. He’s finally kind of. Okay. Things don’t feel so fuzzy anymore, even when he’s high. The world is a little sharper again but it doesn’t sting like it used to. He decides to spend a day out of the condo. He wears a hat and sunglasses and goes to the Himalayan place he’s been avoiding, but he misses the croissants. He buys a box of them, then sticks around to have a cup of tea and munch on one while he reads a comic Brian showed him on his iPad. A fan notices him, but she’s older and calm when she approaches, and no one else is really paying attention, so he doesn’t mind letting her sit and chat for a minute. It’s nice. It’s normal. He hasn’t felt normal in months. The fan- Sheila- leaves, so he finishes his tea and his comic and tucks his box of croissants under his arm. He walks to his car slowly, deciding he doesn’t ever take enough time to admire the beautiful city around him.

Lydia has felt a little off all day. She can’t really explain it, but she feels like an animal before a thunderstorm. She’s on edge and testy. It’s Friday and she has one patient first thing in the morning and then pilates immediately after. She’s going to go back to her condo and do laundry and do some report write ups, order sushi and go to sleep early.

She’s on the way to pilates bouncing her head as she sings to the radio. She’s looking around at a stoplight because she’s still on high alert. She happens to look up above the stoplight and there he is.

It’s a new billboard downtown. Now that she’s not relieving stress in any other way, Lydia goes to pilates every day. She hasn’t noticed it. They must’ve put it up overnight. Her edginess feels like it makes sense now.

She stares at the billboard like it was put there to cause her pain. Her chest aches in a familiar way, in a way that has dulled over some months but never truly relieved her of itself. The pessimist in her thinks it never really will.

She stares at it until after the light is green and she’s being honked at. She slams on the gas and speeds to the pilates studio. She’s having trouble breathing and she’s sure it can be attributed to his continuing his Armani partnership and lying on his side shirtless to model a fucking watch on a massive billboard. It’s rude.

She misses her class because she can’t get herself inside. She thinks about calling him but she’s not sure what to say.

A dam breaks. She cries like she hasn’t in months and it’s then she comes to terms with something she’s known all along. No progress has been made in getting over him. She’s gotten better at bottling it up but apparently not that good because the bottle has just spilled everywhere.

She’s sobbing with her head on the steering wheel and it feels so much like 6 months ago it hurts to inhale. She broke his heart, she broke her own. For what? Did she think she’d stop loving him if she forced it? She remembers what Paloma said about it being worth it, the distance. She should’ve fucking listened.

Maybe she still can.

Lydia is fucking sick of trying to be strong for this. She’s sick of feeling like she’s fighting for something she doesn’t believe in. She’s sick of trying not to love him because fuck it, she loves him so fucking much, maybe more than she ever has because you really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Cliches are cliches because they’re true.

Lydia goes straight to the airport. She buys a ticket for Toronto at the counter for the first time in her life and, another first, she’s sprinting onto the plane as it’s about to leave.

She has nothing. No change of clothes, no toothbrush, no phone charger. She doesn’t feel stupid until they’re halfway across the country and she realizes she’s not even sure if he’s home.

To try to calm herself down, she plugs in her headphones and listens to his music for the first time since last summer. She curls up in her seat and stares out the plane window, smiling at each new song that comes on, each old memory that comes with it.

Something she doesn’t recognize comes on Apple Music, startling her. She checks the description -- it’s a song called Fade. It was released recently. Her heart rattles. He released new music and she didn’t even know about it.

It’s not a happy song. He sings about fading and burning out and he sounds so fucking alone. It’s beautiful and haunting and, for almost four minutes, she gets a taste of the reality she left him with when she walked out the door. She excuses herself to the plane lavatory to cry until a stewardess knocks and asks if she’s ok.

She feels the stupidest of all when knocking on his condo door and realizing he’s definitely not home. She pulls out her old spare key and lets herself in. She looks at the couch where she broke up with him and decides to stand.

He stops at a record shop on the way home, just to peruse the offerings, see if there’s anything new. It feels nice to go out and not have a schedule, to really take his time to do whatever the heck he wants to do. He finds a few albums, even lets himself buy something he thinks Lydia would like, but he tells himself he won’t ever send it to her. She doesn’t want to hear from him, if her radio silence over the last few months is any indication.    He’s not giving into her anymore, he decides. He won’t ever move on, won’t keep this streak of being okay until he can actually be happy if he keeps caving, keeps indulging the itch that begs him to scratch. He wants someone else to be his itch, someone who won’t tell him he’s not worth it. That’s what he deserves, isn’t it? He nods at the doorman when he reaches his building, even whistles as he walks through the lobby and rides the elevator. He whistles down the hallway, whistles while he unlocks the—

His door is unlocked already. He doesn’t remember leaving it open. It doesn’t look forced open, so he’s not worried it’s some crazy fan, probably just someone with a key. “G?” He calls as he swings through the door. He goes to his bedroom first, puts his records on the shelf with the others, then brings the box of croissants to the kitchen where he flips it open and pulls another out. “You want a croissant, dude? They’re from Himalayan. I actually managed to walk inside today. So I bought a whole fucking box of these things—“ He’s walking, balancing two croissants on a plate, not paying any attention to anything around him, so it’s not until small, pink Nike shoes appear in his line of sight that he realizes the person who let themselves in was absolutely not Geoff. He almost drops the plate. “Lydia?”

Taglist: @celaenaaashryver @softboyshawn @marlahey @smallerinfinities @crapri @the-claire-bitch-project @stillinskislydia @rosesfool @sippingchai @lostinshawnslight @infiniteshawn @localforeiigner @evergreeneyesx @randi-eve @accioalena @shawnitsmutual @searchingunderthestars

[bakudekuficlibrary]

Any nsfw Fics? With mainly top Bakugou :)

Hiya! Just in case you’re interested, here are the links to the Smut Oneshot Masterlist we’ve made: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5! And now for all the fics tagged with “Top Bakugou Katsuki”! Also, keep an eye out for an Alpha Katsuki Masterlist that we’ll be posting in a couple weeks because, even though there are fics were Alphas bottom, most of them will probably have Top Bakugou as the top but just aren’t tagged!

-Ellie

40 Works. 

Too Early For This by Skaii ( E | 7,882 | 1/1 )

In the process of rescuing a girl from a villain, Katsuki becomes afflicted by an aphrodisiac quirk. His pride refuses to let him be a victim. But for once, maybe Deku helping him won’t be so bad…

SeriesPart 1 of The ‘BD’ in ‘BDSM’ is for BakuDeku

[Underage]

Remember Me by Blue_Writer ( M | 55,462+ | 21/? )

It had been years since Bakugou was exiled from his home and became the savage dragon king, but one good thing finally came to his life when he met Izuku again. The only issue, is that he doesn’t remember him.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

My Chosen One by Meekorin ( E | 55,992 | 18/18 )

After All Might’s retirement, Bakugou is moody than ever. Fearing for his dear life that the explosive teen might eat him up, Izuku tries to keep his distance. But as soon as everything seems to finally work out for them, things start to fall apart by a higher power.

I Run From You by Morpheel ( E | 6,482 | 1/1 )

The forest was a dangerous place.

Anyone with half of a brain could deduce that much; yet to a prey species, this rule held especially so. The reach of woods was a diverse and lively ecosystem, thriving with both hybrid and animal alike. As cruel as it was- the food chain largely didn’t care whether you were hybrid or beast.

Izuku Midoriya knew this especially so.- - - What’s a rabbit hybrid to do when cornered within the clutches of a savage, hungry wolf? Anything he can to escape. (Though his heat makes this a much harder prospect than expected)

SeriesPart 1 of BNHA: Hybrid A/O/B Works

get a load of this by dezuku ( E | 1,919 | 1/1 )

Sure, Izuku may be a freak, but damn him if his precious Kacchan isn’t either.

[Underage]

Possessive fuck by Thetrash ( E | 2,585 | 1/1 )

Izuku has a study date with Shoto and Katsuki decides to fuck him before he leaves.

[Dub-Con]

Gagging For It by sagequit ( E | 3,006+ | 2/? )

Bakugou discovers that Midoriya has a bit of an oral fixation. Shameless PWP.

SeriesPart 1 of Bakudeku Filth

[Underage]

Heartbreak Aftermath by HG_Wells ( E | 2,688 | 1/1 )

After a harsh breakup with his ex-boyfriend, Todoroki Shouto, his friends decide to take him out to get his mind off things. A few drinks with a stranger turns into something more and he gets more than what he bargained for.

Connection by pandoras_thomg ( E | 4,787 | 1/1 )

Izuku is tired of being Kacchan’s personal sex slave. He’s attempted escape numerous times, but each time he gets caught, Kacchan just fucks him harder. Izuku secretly resolves to poison the King and leave this place once and for all… but fate has other ideas. Will Izuku finally develop feelings for his captor?

~a sequel fic to Katsuki’s Captive~

SeriesPart 2 of Captive AU

A Present from Me to You by llamayamaa ( E | 7,919 | 1/1 )

Katsuki has finally come to terms with having a healthy rivalry with his childhood friend, Izuku. The only problem preventing it as a normal rivalry is the constant sex dreams Katsuki has with his rival in it. It doesn’t help that he’s starting to possess feelings for the nerd as well.

There is only one solution to deal with these irritating feelings of his: fuck the feelings away of his childhood friend by doing it with none other than Izuku himself.

It’s a dumb idea but who knows where it might take him.

Intrusive Thoughts by ellie_mae ( E | 4,313 | 1/1 )

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t know how it started but, he’s been having intrusive thoughts lately about Izuku Midoriya. It boils down to a lot of sexual tension spilling over and both of them lose control.

This is honestly just a very smutty one-shot of Bakugou fucking the living hell out of Deku. I just needed this to be written.

Forgetful by Pop_Rocks (v_love) ( E | 3,436 | 1/1 )

Normally Bakugou managed to contain his temper – even if it was just a little – when it came to Midoriya. Even still, his outbursts just seemed to make Midoriya laugh now, mostly because it was never over anything big and Midoriya was no longer afraid of Bakugou doing anything but make little threats that he very rarely went through.

Normally.

Today was different though.

—-

In which Midoriya forgets his and Bakugou’s anniversary.

SeriesPart 1 of Kacchan and Deku’s Shenanigans

It’s Gonna Take A Superman To Sweep Me Off My Feet by minzie ( E | 6,558 | 1/1 )

Deku getting horny with his Ground Zero body pillow, but this time it’s the real one - The Sequel

SeriesPart 2 of Holding A Hero

Super Mario Maker by Pop_Rocks (v_love) ( E | 3,734 | 1/1 )

Midoriya is smart, and a nerd, meaning that when the entire class decided to take on the aspect of buying Super Mario Maker for the collection of games in the common area that he became sort of a living legend when it came to designing the levels.

Some were just joyous well designed little prank-type levels, others were difficult — but not impossible — and the rest? Well, those were impossible.

For all but one.

His Kacchan.

————

In which Bakugou rages.

SeriesPart 4 of Kacchan and Deku’s Shenanigans

Just a Glass of Water by Pop_Rocks (v_love) ( E | 2,188 | 1/1 )

“I bet I can get you to sleep,” Midoriya said and Bakugou pulled back so he could see Midoriya’s face.

“How do you intend to do that?” Bakugou asked.

While Midoriya was a man of words, Bakugou was a man of action, and sometimes it required a bit of compromise from either party.

—-

In which Bakugou has insomnia and can’t fall asleep.

SeriesPart 3 of Kacchan and Deku’s Shenanigans

Only for a bet (I fucking swear!) by Dana91 ( M | 3,096 | 1/1 )

Inspired by Tinogeb’s fanart

Bakugo Katsuki teased. Bakugo failed. How did he end up fucking the damn nerd?!

We Could All Dye (Or Perhaps Live) by Pop_Rocks (v_love) ( E | 5,126 | 1/1 )

“C’mon, all I need you to do is get me Bakugou’s shampoo bottle and then put it back before he notices. Call it retribution for the eggs?”

“What’s your idea?”

“To put some dye in his shampoo.”

—-

In which Midoriya gets caught up in a prank war between Bakugou and Kaminari.

SeriesPart 6 of Kacchan and Deku’s Shenanigans

Act Your Age by Pop_Rocks (v_love) ( E | 4,024 | 1/1 )

“I can’t believe you would ask to come with me and then throw a fit the entire time, how old are you? Five? You’re lucky you didn’t break anything or I would’ve had to pay for it. You’re so irresponsible.”

“Stop lecturing me!”

“Then stop giving me a reason to! Kacchan, I don’t understand this. I don’t understand why you feel the need to act this way.”

“You took forever!”

“And this is why I do things like this alone because you’re unhelpful and a brat.”

————

In which Bakugou throws a fit in the grocery store.

SeriesPart 5 of Kacchan and Deku’s Shenanigans

Project: Heat by sterekhalinsk ( M | 2,914 | 1/1 )

Katsuki can do this. He can control himself around Deku, who’s scent has spiked in sweetness and is dripping in pheromones. He can maintain his composure as they work together on a school project. He can keep himself in check as his stupid smell wafts through the air, and directly into his nose.

He can’t do this.

[Underage]

Yūrei by EclecticIsMyMiddleName ( E | 7,842+ | 1/3 )

Izuku’s apartment is haunted by none other than Bakugo Katsuki’s ghost. Imagine his surprise when he finds out why Katsuki’s ghost can’t rest in peace.

[Major Character Death]

“Streetcar Named Desire” by ARCTICFIRE99 ( E | 20,370+ | 7/? )

If yesterday someone told Izuku that he, one of the most diligent students with the top academic ranking, would end up in Principal Aizawa’s office today, he wouldn’t have believed them. But lots things could change overnight. So here he was, slouching in the creaking chair in the reception in front of the principal’s office.

[the story about how Deku and Kacchan ended up taking part in a school’s play and went through high school shit and ended up in love]

[Slight Homophobia]

Dragon’s Mark by ellie_mae ( M | 4,524+ | 1/? )

Katsuki Bakugou has been living on his own for many years, accompanied by a very annoying red dragon named Kirishima. They are the last of their kind, unknown to humans. At least, that was how it used to be until a shy boy by the name of Izuku Midoriya enters the picture.

Private Practice by thiefqueen ( M | 2,670 | 1/1 )

Midoriya accidentally sort of sets up a private fight with Bakugou during class after realizing he has a “problem” with the other teen. Their teachers are happy to set the fight up (and they not-so-secretly ship it).

Uhh really at school? by sadklqmo ( M | 797 | 1/1 )

Izuku just can’t help himself when it comes to Katsuki

[Underage]

Now for the pals who know Chinese

【勝出】俺とデクの幸せな家庭計画05 by AriaLu ( E | 820 | 1/1 )

※勝出／ABO※《チビの日記》的前傳※本章７.6ｋ，不多說，上車

【勝出】俺とデクの幸せな家庭計画02 by AriaLu ( E | 279 | 1/1 )

※勝出／ABO※《チビの日記》的前傳※本章上車

【勝出】俺とデクの幸せな家庭計画04　 by AriaLu ( M | 340 | 1/1 )

※勝出／ABO※《チビの日記》的前傳※BGM:Christina Grimmie - Without Him※下章上車

【勝出】俺とデクの幸せな家庭計画（ABO） 06 by AriaLu ( M | 2,053 | 3/3 )

※勝出※手機打字bug很多，之後再修＞＜！※《チビの日記》前傳

【勝出】我那位凶神惡煞的後輩同事 02 by AriaLu ( M | 636 | 1/1 )

※勝出

※勝＞＞＞＞＞＞＞出※大學生打工的職場ｐａｒｏ（年下）大二ｘ大四※上班的公司在做什麼．．．大家知道的，總之是個處處射情的小故事※轟總純友情，謝謝！※防雷：出久是沒有自覺的放電機（男人ｏｎｌｙ），有點ａｌｌ出久的感覺（言語上的調情程度），不過只有勝出※本篇有強制情節，請謹慎防雷

【勝出】身為勇者的我不可能成為幼馴染的老婆15 by AriaLu ( M | 909 | 3/3 )

※勝出※十傑ＰＡＲＯ※肉湯

【勝出】聽說有人爬上你的床（白情賀文） by AriaLu ( M | 763 | 1/1 )

※攝影隊paro※導演爆豪ｘ笨笨小助理綠谷※白色情人節快樂

【勝出】身為勇者的我不可能成為幼馴染的老婆10 by AriaLu ( M | 222 | 1/1 )

※勝出※十傑ｐａｒｏ

【勝出】419　® by AriaLu ( M | 585 | 1/1 )

419※勝出彼此去約砲約到對方的小故事，一輛純車※無個性，勝出是大學生

【勝出】Body says Love by AriaLu ( E | 352 | 1/1 )

※勝出，無個性世界

※ＢＤＳＭ

※示警：勝跟久都不是處

※BGM: Rynx - Want You

※記個梗

【勝出】七夕賀文（短篇文）R18 by AriaLu ( M | 315 | 1/1 )

※勝出※已交往※雄英已是住宿制

【勝出】所謂新手（Ｒ／短篇完） by AriaLu ( M | 792 | 1/1 )

※原作向，勝出交往中※情人節快樂，新年快樂

【勝出】神的羔羊04　（Ｒ１８） by AriaLu ( M | 529 | 1/1 )

*牧場物語，沒有個性*牧場主少爺爆豪x出久羊(人型&獸型態都有)* BGM: Brokeback Mountain: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack - #17: “The Wings”

【勝出】T.O.T. （萬聖節賀文／短篇完／Ｒ１８） by AriaLu ( M | 1,265 | 1/1 )

T.O.T.＊畢業後已成為職業英雄＊勝出同居中＊BGM-聖桑-骷髏之舞Danse Macabre

【勝出】神的羔羊06 (R18/完) by AriaLu ( M | 1,007 | 1/1 )

*牧場物語，沒有個性*牧場主少爺爆豪x出久羊(人型&獸型態都有)* BGM: Brokeback Mountain: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack - #17: “The Wings”

【勝出】Polaris （後續／ABO設定／Ｒ１８） by AriaLu ( M | 400 | 1/1 )

[firebuug]

ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!

pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen

buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.

team: 

- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)

- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)

- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)

- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)

- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)

- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)

i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse

team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)

- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)

-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)

- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)

- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)

- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)

gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.

team:

- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)

- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi) 

- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it

- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)

- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)

- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)

- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)

farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.

team:

- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)

- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)

- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)

- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)

- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)

- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)

skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money

team:

- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far) 

- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)

- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)

- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)

- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)

- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)

okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!

[stateofloveandnegan]

The Shy One - Eddie Vedder

Can I have an Eddie one where you work at the studio they're recording in, and Eddie constantly teases you in front of people and your really shy. And then one day he kinda traps you in a room/bathroom and has his wicked way 😂

I honestly have no idea how things work in studio’s, so I apologise in advance if it’s completely different from what I wrote down..

I’m really sorry if the last part sucks. I had it all written down and then Tumblr decided to crash. I’m sorry.. I hope you still like it :)

Requested by: anon

Warning(s): mentions of smut

“You’re serious?” Ellie asks with wide eyes.

“I am, why?”

“Pearl Jam, really?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Pearl fucking Jam?! You really serious?!”

“God damn Ellie, what are you on about?” I yell at her, frustrated by her behaviour.

Ellie seems to snap back to the real world bye my outburst and blinks a couple of times before speaking up again. “Sorry, I just can’t believe you’re actually gonna meet the guys. They’re so talented!”

“Yeah, they are. I’m probably not gonna really be around them that much, though. I just need to make sure everything planned well and stuff. I'm not needed in the actual recording room. I always sit by the small bar, making schedules and stuff.”

Ellie nods, “I know, but it’s still cool, isn’t it?”

“It is, they make great music.” I smile, finally understanding why she went loco earlier. Ellie’s a huge PJ fan and now I’m gonna meet them. It’s just really unfortunate that she can’t come inside. The only way you’ll get inside the studio is if you’re either the artist or if you work in the studio. Ellie does neither. I’ve got the privilege to work in the studio, thanks to my uncle. He used to own the studio and when he realised I’ve got a talent for making very good schedules, he asked me to work with him to make schedules for the artists.

Of course, I said yes immediately. I needed money and I actually liked the job he offered me. Not because I am horny for attention from famous people, most of the time I barely talk to the artists anyway, but because I like planning things. I like making things organised and planning out arrangements.

Ellie and I talk about work and other things for some time until I have to go to work. She tells me to call her later tonight to tell her about the boys and I laugh but tell her I’ll do it.

“There is my favourite niece!” Robert, my uncle, exclaims when I walk inside the studio.

I laugh, “I am your only niece, Rob.” 

“Still my fave.” he winks and gives me a hug when I reach him.

I put my things down only my desk afterwards and make some coffee for the both of us; it’s become some kind of tradition for me to do that.

“Excited to meet the ones behind Pearl Jam?” Rob asks when I hand him his cup of coffee. 

I nod, “I bet they’ll make even better music with you on their team.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you flatter me too much.” he says as if I just told him he’s the best producer in the world.

“Keep on dreaming, uncie.”

I go back to my desk to sort some things out. I start planning the next arrangements with Pearl Jam. It’s also my job to keep the e-mails updated. I notice there’s another band that wants to work in my uncle’s studio next year. I give him the good news and we share a piece of cake, which my aunt must’ve made earlier today, in celebration.

Time goes by and before I realise, the guys from Pearl Jam make their way inside to studio. My uncle greats them as if they’ve known each other for a lifetime and soon as they reach the bar area (in which my desk is also placed, in the back) he introduces me.

“This is my niece, (Y/N). She plans all the arrangements and stuff I’m no good in.” he adds playfully. 

All the guys introduce themselves and kindly shake my hand. It’s all nothing but kindness in their faces, though in Eddie’s face is also something else, mischievousness, maybe? 

Everyone soon disappears into the recording area and I’m left to do my work. Every now and then one of the guys, sometimes two, come in and ask for something to drink. It’s a second job I do, working behind the bar, since it’s no big deal. 

“So, you’ll be here more often, then?” the singer asks me while I hand him a glass of water.

I nod, “I work here full-time, so yeah. I’ll be here as much as you guys will be.”

“Good, that means I can see that pretty face of yours very much these upcoming weeks.” Eddie smirks and winks at me before going back into the recording area.

His comment leaves me flabbergasted and speechless. Did he really just flirt with me? Eddie Vedder? Flirting with me? (Y/N) (L/N)? Nope probably not. I’m just imagining things.

It’s not that I don’t believe it because I’ve got this huge crush on him and I think he’s too good for me, ‘cause I don’t. Really, he’s just another guy. I mean yeah, he’s an amazing singer and he’s got good looks, but that doesn’t make him any better of a man than others. It’s just that I never expected him to flirt with me, that’s why he left me speechless.

“Hey there, again.” a voice interrupts my concentration on the e-mails I was just reading. I look up to find Eddie standing in from of my desk with, once again, a smirk plastered on his face. I immediately feel myself go red and I look down again.

“What can I do for you, mr Vedder?” I say shyly.

“Oh dear, calling me ‘mr Vedder’ and all. Just call me Eddie please.. And I came here for a drink, can you help me with that, love?”

His tone was even more flirtatious than before and it actually caused some goosebumps to appear on my skin. I was very much intimidated by the guy and hearing him calling me ‘love’ was the right way to get me even more flustered than I already was.

“Oh- ehm, yeah sure- I mean of course..” I ramble and Eddie chuckles at my awkwardness.

I quickly get up and go behind the bar to pour him a glass of water, but he declines it and says “I could use something strong, dear. Do me a favour and pour me some of your best whiskey.”

Without saying anything, I do as I’m told and hand him a glass of whiskey, our fingers brushing slightly against each others and I can feel my face go even redder than before. Even though I’m not looking at him, I know Eddie’s smirking. He’s probably very much aware of the affect he’s having on me.

“Take drink yourself too, gorgeous. You deserve one.” he says and winks, before leaving again.

As soon as he’s left I put down my drink and run to get my phone. I dial Ellie’s number and when she answers I can’t stop talking.

“El you need to help me I- I don’t know what to do, Eddie keeps flirting with me and I can’t handle it and it’s getting on my nerves and I’m really about to break into tears ‘cause I don’t know what to do and you know how I am around guys and I just can’t-”

“Breath, (Y/N), breath!”

“How do I do that again?!”

“Don’t overreact! Just calm your mind. Count to ten with me.”

And so we did. After a minute or two Ellie has me calmed down. We talk about what happened and she helps me with a plan for me to survive the rest of the evening.

The plan works and without getting another panic attack, I make it through the night. Robert eventually sends me home when they’re almost done recording for the day. Fortunately I didn’t have to spend more alone time with Eddie than necessary.

But of course, today is another day and I will face Eddie again. It’s not that I don’t want to see him, it’s just that his presence makes me nervous, especially when he’s all flirty around me.

“Good morning guys, can I get you something to drink?” I ask the guys when they’re inside the next morning.

I receive some ‘good morning’s’ back and Stone and Mike tell me they’re in for a good cup of coffee. I make my way behind the bar and make them a good, strong, cup of coffee and hand it to them. During my every action, I can feel someone’s eyes boring into me and I don’t have to turn around to know whose eyes are on me. Eddie’s said nothing yet, he’s just been standing at the bar with his usual smirk on his face.

When I do turn, Eddie’s smirk increases and he decides it’s funny to play a game called ‘make (Y/N) as awkward as possible’. But before he can say anything I excuse myself to the bathroom. I’m known to make a fool of myself when I’m around guys that intimidate me and I’m not in the mood to make a fool of myself in front of my uncle and the other PJ guys. Enough is enough.

When I get back the guys are, fortunately, gone and into the recording area of the studio. Since there is nothing else to do, all the work from yesterday and today already being done, I decide to clean the studio a bit. All goes well until someone gets in the room, makes their way over to me and stops behind me.

“You’re really the full-package, aren’t you? Doing all the paper work, being a barmaid, and now, cleaning the studio.”

I don’t have to turn around to know who that voice belongs to. I try to hide my awkwardness and say “Can I help you?”

I turn around and see Eddie smirking, “Nope, not really.”

My confusion sends him in laughter, “What are you doing here then?” I ask, still remaining conifdent.

“Am I not allowed to be here?”

Yup, there it goes, my confidence, can you see it flying away? “Oh- ehm, yeah, of- of course..”

Eddie’s smirk increases when he notices I dropped my confidence and he takes a step closer. “You’re very easily flustered (Y/N).”

I can’t seem to focus on anything but him and I feel myself go as red as a tomato. Eddie takes another step closer and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. Leaving his hand on my cheek and brushing it with his thumb.

I realise there’s no reason for me to act oblivious to his actions anymore. “Why are you doing this, Eddie?” I ask, scared as hell.

Eddie looks at me and for a second his smirk vanishes, “Because you’re gorgeous (Y/N), can’t you see? Also because you’re smart and kind and hard-working and talented. Those are definitely things that attract me.”

If I didn’t know any better I’d say he wasn’t just flirting, but he was actually genuine about it, but I push that thought aside when his smirk returns.

“And because your awkwardness is a big turn on, dear.”

My jaw drops as soon as that comment left his mouth and my eyes go wide. Never had someone been so bold and blunt. What the hell am I supposed to do?!

Eddie’s hand leaves my cheek and soon after, both his hands are resting on my sides. He tilts me up and puts me onto the table behind me. He opens my legs and stands inbetween them, pushing his body roughly against mine.

“Don’t worry dear, all will be alright. Just let me handle this, yeah?” he says and without knowing what I’m doing, I nod.

Eddie comes closer and closer and teases me, slightly brushing his lips against mine. I feel like I’m on cloud fucking nine, especially when he actually starts kissing me. He kisses me roughly, but passionately nonetheless. The kiss is filled with unleashed tension and it’s something I’ve never experienced before.

When we break apart I manage to get a quick “Aren’t you needed in the studio?” and he laughs, “No dear, they’re busy with the instruments. I told them I needed a break.” And he reconnects his lips with mine.

Everything got a bit heated and after 30 minutes I realise I just did something I never even thought would ever happen.

I look at Eddie, who is panting above me, and whisper “I can’t believe we just did it on my desk..”

Eddie chuckles, his badass behaviour long gone and replaced by genuine affection. “I can’t believe it either, but I did enjoy it very much.” He says and kisses me again.

I kiss him back, “Me too, Ed. Thank you.”

“No, (Y/N), thank you.” He winks and once again, Eddie has me flustered.