#honestly i like the idea that steven and connie are just so busy with work

[maine-writes]

Meanwhile...: Steven and Connie's Adventure & Couple Time

Space, the final frontier. When one looks up at the night sky, one looks upon a million, billion stars, each star is either a distant solar system or an entirely galaxy of its own. So when one looks upon a star, they are really looking at another sun of another, distant world, or a million suns with a million planets.

But with the miracle of alien technology, where one generates an artificial gravitic singularity to "bend" space in front of a vessel and expand space behind it, allowing said vessel to travel past the speed of light without experiencing the negative side effects of such travel, this vast expanse of space becomes a little smaller.

"This is great, isn't it?" Steven said, lying in bed as he stared at the viewscreen on the ceiling of the room showing the vastness of space.

"Yeah, sure." Connie unenthusiastically agreed.

The pair were on an adventure of a lifetime, or at least their latest strange adventure. A childhood of near-death experiences and adventures tend to make subsequent adventures rather mundane, even the space adventures. But on this particular one, the couple were destined for an old Era 1 colony, located on a planet beyond the Perseus Veil. According to the Diamonds, this colony was one of White Diamond's first and was believed lost after a supernova caused them to lose contact with the colony. Recently, an expedition led by Lars Barriga reported that the colony was alive and well, unaware of the events of Era 3. After initial contact, it now falls on Steven and Connie to check on the status of the colony and get them up to speed.

But first, they have to get there.

So now we find the loving couple, lying in bed in comfort as their vessel speeds past hundreds of star systems on the way to the colony.

"We get to help a bunch of Gems catch up with the rest of Homeworld." Steven continued. "Helping people to make the universe a better place."

"Yeah," Connie muttered, "Just you, me, and Jasper lying between us."

Of course, Steven and Connie weren't going to a distant alien world alone, they had a small contingent of Gems accompanying them. However, Jasper, being the protective Quartz soldier she is, insisted that she come along as well.

"I get the feeling you don't like me being here." Jasper grumbled.

"Oh no," Connie quipped, "Why wouldn't I enjoy a big, buff Gem intruding on me and my husband's alone time?"

"Steven is an important dignitary on an important diplomatic mission." The Gem argued. "We do not know how these Era 1 Gems will react to him. After all, they were independent of the Diamond Authority for well over 10,000 years. So as his bodyguards, we must accompany him wherever he goes."

"What do you mean, we?"

"It makes little sense for only one of us to stand by him at a time. And since he is most vulnerable while sleeping, we must both be as close and as vigilant as possible at this time."

Steven was worried, since Jasper and Connie had been at each other's throats since they boarded. The worse was when he needed to use the bathroom. Jasper was following closely behind him, and when he said he'd rather not have her be in there with him, she called for Connie to take her place. Eventually, she agreed to just having one of them wait at the door.

Jasper was a diligent bodyguard, but sharing a bed with her was going too far.

"Jasper," Connie began as she sat up. "You know, I was really hoping I'd get some alone time with Steven."

"Alone time? Like training?"

"N-Not exactly..."

"Then allow me to training with Steven as well, just like before when he shattered me!"

Hearing this made both Connie and Steven blush, but for very different reasons. To Steven, it was an embarassing chapter of his angst-ridden teen years. To Connie, it sounded pretty bad, but in a different way. What was terrible about the whole situation was that Connie was just planning on cuddling, enjoying each other's company, cute stuff that they never get to do with all the work they have.

"Jasper." Steven interjected. "What Connie means is, the alone time we have is something someone does with someone special to them."

"Am I not special to you?"Jasper asked. Despite her gruff, rough exterior, she did seem genuinely hurt. There was something, puppy-doggish about her amber eyes.

"No! I mean, you are!" Steven stuttered, "I mean, you are important to me, but Connie's important in another way!"

"Explain." Jasper said. "What can Connie do that I can't?"

Steven nervously glanced over at Connie, who was also unsure as to how to approach this problem. They thought they'd have their first "The Talk" with Vonvon, who knows a little bit because of Amethyst's loud mouth, Pearl's enthusiastic approach to education, and Garnet tendency of simply stating facts. After a previous incident, however, they realized that they may not have to have "The Talk" with their child after all. But somehow, explaining human biology to a Gem was just as embarassing.

"I don't get it." Jasper stated after Steven's convoluted, vague, and flustered explanation.

"Well, Gems and humans are different." Connie said, "You guys come fully formed out of the ground. There's not a lot of similarities."

"Show me."

"No."

The whole trip would turn out to be a nightmare for Connie and Steven. Jasper, unwilling to accept that she was possibly not as "useful" or important as Connie, would loudly demand that the couple demonstrate the particular miraculous human activity they inadvertantly exposed her to. The worst was whenever they hugged or cuddled, Jasper would appear and ask if they were currently demonstrating said activity, which only furthered their embarassment.

Connie only wanted to cuddle, maybe kiss. How did it end up like this?

Their visit to the colony itself was mostly uneventful, exactly as one would imagine a diplomatic visit. One unexpected aspect of the colony was the civil war they fought and the establishment of a diverse ruling council. In all, Steven thought they could easily integrate into Homeworld's Era 3. But that was a long ways away, as the council must gather the opinions of the colony and come to an agreement on a course of action. The Pearl that greeted them when they landed, an interesting Aubergine Pearl, was rather excited to finally meet someone from Homeworld. She showed them the vast cityscape they had managed to build from their old spaceships and native materials. Steven and Connie were taken by the seas of crimson grass, the violet sky illuminated by two suns by day and the nebulous glow of the Perseus Veil in the moonless night, and the warm, black sands of the earth. In the distance, natural obsidian spires tower over the colony's skyscrapers, which tended to be mirror-like in appearance to better preserve the natural beauty of the surrounding landscape. The interiors of these buildings were typical of the interior of Era 1 colony ships; marble-like stone, carved into geometric shapes.

Although there were many who were afraid Steven would attempt to re-establish the Diamond Authority's rule over the Perseus Colony, their worries were quickly laid to rest with his presentation on the events leading up to Era 3 and the many changes Homeworld had undergone. There was even a pre-recorded message from White Diamond, encouraging the colony to continue "pursuing the life and freedom" they desired. Luckily, they didn't need the pre-recorded message from White Diamond that was to be used if the colony was hostile.

But during that whole weekend, Connie was still irritated. When not out touring the colony with the Perseus Gems, the couple were interrupted by Jasper.

"Steven! I can't take it anymore!" She screamed as the couple were standing on a balcony overlooking the colony. "We finally have time to ourselves and an easy mission! Can't you just pull rank or something and get Jasper to leave us alone?!"

"I tried, but she insists on being nearby."

"Steven. We have been working for eight months straight." Connie continued, grabbing her husband by the shoulders. "For six of them, we were on different planets. I'm kissing you, we're cuddling, we are going to enjoy each other's company on a beautiful, alien world!"

But shortly after planting her lips on her husband, Connie was interrupted by the big orange Gem bursting through the balcony door.

"So this is kissing!"

"That's it!" Connie screamed, drawing her big pink sword, "You've hus-blocked me for the last time!"

Steven would say something. But he knew better than to get in the way of his angry, sword-wielding wife. He just hoped the Diamonds were faring better in their endeavor of taking care of Vonvon, blissfully unaware of the horrible mistake they made at around the same time.

@artsycooky13

[tunafishprincess]

An Anon's Apology

You don't know me, but know that I'm sorry. Not that I've done anything wrong, but I feel like this is necessary.

I'm not apologizing because I did something wrong, but because we did something wrong in harassing you for taking so long on your Twisted Roses fic. It was dumb and stupid and while I didn't do it myself, it was the wrong thing to do, and in the end, it only made things worse.

I suppose some people are just like that. They get so invested in a story or book or fic that they forget that the person writing it has other things to do, other interests and hobbies and stories, instead of just doing that one thing. And when they take forever on it and focus on other stories, they either understand and wait patiently, or they lash out and demand that they continue it. The result for your fic was the latter, unfortunately, and again, I apologize for that. In the end, it made writing Twisted roses not fun and on indefinite hiatus. And honestly, I understand why.

With that in mind however, I still would like to see how it ends.

Don't worry, I'm not suggesting that you go back to working on it. Rather, I'm suggesting an alternative! Why not just put your fic in someone else's hands? Give them a few notes on the AU, let the fic continue in a way so you don't have to deal with it, that sort of thing. I even have a few ideas for who to give it to! And no, it's not me. I barely have any writing skills as it is.

Of course, you don't have to do that if you don't want to. It's your fic, after all. You can do what you want with it. I just think there are better places for it to be than on the figurative back shelf, if you know what I mean. That's all.

But in the end, it is your fic.

Besides, what do I know? I'm an anon.

And, for the record, I am sorry. I really am.

I'd ask for forgiveness too, but if I know the internet, I wouldn't hold my breath.

Sincerely, A Very Sorry Anon.

———————————————————

Hey Anon,

I’m glad you liked the fic. Twisted Roses was a wild ride and it has a special place in my heart. It’s what started me on adding covers to my fanfic chapters. Writing about connie and Steven in a dark setting was really fun and I’m so happy so many people enjoyed it.

Fandom is a crazy place. I’ve been in yours where I wished someone would continue a fic (for example, one of my favs Muddy Waters 😭) but the writer’s heart was no longer in it. And that’s okay. I’ve been around longer than most and about 70-90 percent of multichapter fanfics normally don’t have an ending because they’re so long. A lot of my fanfics haven’t truly ended sadly and for that I’m sorry. 😓 My muse is a fickle beast. You should see my sketchbook. Full of unfinished artworks.

Thank you for apologizing. Really! You’re one of the few. Most readers have been lovely, but I won’t lie that telling someone to continue a story, especially if it’s from multiple people, can be stressful. I do this for me at the end of the day.

Personally, I will not be giving over my fanfic to anyone I don’t know personally and trust them to do it justice. People are welcome to write fanfics inspired by the au or their own idea of an ending for it though! Below I’ve attached my rough outline to the story that you’re welcome to read. I hope it gives you some closure to the story. Thank you for your support. If you haven’t, check out my other stories! Maybe they’re catch your fancy. ;)

Best,

Tuna

——————————————————————————

Outline of Twisted Roses

Chapter 10: What they don’t know (Lion 6: Wingman Forever)

It wasn’t easy finding time to fuse without getting caught. Connie was busy working under Jasper, pushing herself to match the woman’s intense training while Steven’s position, while now secured, did not mean he was without worry. His work with on expanding the human zoo proved fruitful, though whether that fruit would poison him or not remained to be seen.

But Connie didn’t let that stop her. She was an expert organizer. Be it an hour or five minutes, she made sure every second counted. They were as moths to a flame, addicted to the shared emotional high that came with being together, wholly and fully.

“My Diamond.”

“Cut it out.”

“You look horrible.”

“Wow, you really know how to make a person feel special.”

“Is everything alright?”

“It’s. . . It will be, now that you’re here. Let’s fuse.”

“O-okay,” she stammered out.

(They dance and fuse)

“I like being this. Being us. We should stay this way forever.”

“You know that’s not possible.”

“Yeah, I know. Wishful thinking I guess.”

“Why do you say that?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Well, uncomplicate it.”

“You’ll be mad if I tell you.”

“I’ll be mad if you don’t.”

“The zoo is going well. Too well, I guess, because now the Diamonds want to move onto the next phase.”

“There’s a next phase?”

“The Earth is a real source of pain and anger for them. I—Well, mom technically, she was the ruler there. Somehow, she died but didn’t really. She faked it. She was a liar. She didn’t want the responsibilities of being a Diamond so she pretended to shatter herself and play rebellion leader to get away from it all. Or at least . . . that’s what I’ve heard from them.”

“And what about Pearl?”

“Pearl never speaks badly about mom, even though she hurt her. It’s so frustrating. Everyone has their own agenda and I’m just some fake stuff in the middle of it all.”

“You’re not a fake Steven, any more than I am.”

“I am though. I’m been pretending everything’s fine but it’s really not. Connie . . . The Diamonds aren’t going to leave the planet alone. They want to eliminate Earth.”

“But isn’t humanity defeated?”

“It’s not about humanity. It’s never been about them. Not to the Diamonds. They’re little more than annoying flies to the Authority. What they care about is what the symbol of Earth is. They want to stamp it out and start anew.”

“That’s horrible. We have to do something.”

“There isn’t anything we can do.”

“But you’re a Diamond. You’ve been coronated. It’s your planet now.”

“You make it sound so much easier than it is.”

“Steven, you’re not alone in this. You have power here. You just have to know how to wield it.”

“But it’s not like that! You have this inflated view of me, as if I’m this powerful gem but I’m not, Connie. If anything, you’re the better one. You’ve always been honest with me.”

“That’s. . . not entirely true.”

“What do you mean?”

“Steven, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you. It’s about this gem.”

“Go on.”

“She snuck into the Garden to look for you. She wanted to speak with you but you were still back on Homeworld, so she left. She wanted me to tell you hi,” Connie said, pausing as she mulled over her next words. “She said her name was Amythest. Your Amythest.”

“And you didn’t tell me this before everything that’s happened?”

“I didn’t have time to. We barely have time to be alone as it is.”

“But you could have brought it up. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Oh my stars, she’s still there, isn’t she? She’s still on Earth.”

“I’m sorry. I should have, but with everything going on, I wasn’t sure what to say or how to bring it up. But we can save her. We can save her and the rest of humanity.”

“No, Connie, we can’t. Haven’t you been listening? The Diamonds aren’t going to stop until Earth is permanently wiped out of existence. Me talking to them isn’t going to do anything. It’s three against one.”

“But it’s your planet. You promised me you would save Earth.”

“And I am. I’m saving as many humans as I can and bringing them to the Zoo. And then . . . And then . . .”

“And then what, Steven?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t gotten that far yet.”

“You’re choosing who lives and who dies, Steven.”

“Well, what do you expect me to do then?”

“Talk to the Diamonds. You’re a Diamond, too.”

“Yes, that’s what it all comes down to, isn’t it. My status as a Diamond. Is that what you see when you look at me?”

“You’re making assumptions, Steven.” She lowered her gaze. “And you’re being a butt.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just butt out of here then.”

“Oh my gosh, are you serious?”

“No! I’m Steven.”

$$$$$$$$$

“Stupid Steven,” she mumbled under her breathe. “Stupid, stupid, stupid. Ugh! Why is this so—”

“It’s you. What are you doing here?”

“Oh no, you’re not getting away from me that easily.”

“Steven! I thought you had work to do.”

“Well, I did, but I felt it was more important to find you. Connie, what I said was wrong. I was hurt and I lashed out at you and I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you about Amythest.”

“Secret garden buddies?”

She hooked her pinky with her own, wiggling it for good measure. “Secret garden buddies.”

“What are you doing out here? I thought you had training.”

“Oh, I’m chasing a giant pink lion.”

“I see . . .Wait, what?”

$$$$$$$$$$

“You’re telling me this big cat—”

“Lion,” Connie clarified.

“—Lion helped lead you away from the battlefield to find my mother’s ship?”

“Well, at the time I thought he was a hallucination. Lions aren’t exactly native to North America.”

“But how did it get inside? Why haven’t any of the gems noticed it?”

“Probably because it teleports.”

“It what?”

“Yeah, it seems to be traveling through its roars.”

“So then how do we find it?”

“We wait for it. I’ve noticed it moves in a pattern. It only goes into empty rooms.”

“So we find an empty area and what? Wait for it?”

“I’ve been mapping where it’s going. It’s been heading north. So long as no one goes inside—”

“It will end up in the Garden.”

“Exactly.”

“But how are we going to capture it?”

“How does one capture any animal, Steven?”

$$$$$$$

“This is awkward.”

“You’re telling me.”

“I wasn’t expecting it to take it this long.”

“There must be a lot of empty rooms.”

“So . . .what’s with the new fashion statement?”

“What?”

“You’re wearing a new glove.”

“Oh? This. Ha, ha. I just wanted a change, I guess.”

“Shush. It’s here.”

“Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.”

“Oh, because that’s really going to wo—”

“You were saying?”

“Wow. He’s so fluffy.”

“Connie, I think we should keep him.”

“You’ve only known him for like, a minute.”

“Exactly. Lion needs us, Connie. Look, isn’t he adorable? Plewse be my fweind. I wuv you.”

“He is rather soft.”

“Exactly. He’s so huggable.”

“Okay, I see what you mean.”

“Uh, Connie?”

“Yeah?”

“I think there’s something inside the cat.”

$$$$$$$

“This situation is getting weirder and weirder.”

“What do you see?”

“Pink grass? A pink sky? It’s like a pocket dimension or something. There’s no air though.”

“A pocket dimension without oxygen sounds dangerous.”

“You want to go inside, don’t you.”

“Yes.”

“How long can you hold your breath?”

“About 2 minutes. 3 if I need to.”

“We’ll have to be quick about it then. Squeeze my hand twice when you need to return.”

“What about you?”

“I can hold my breathe a lot longer than humans, Connie. You ready?”

“Let’s go.”

“This place . . .it seems familiar.”

“This was mom’s shirt. And this was mom’s sword. How is all of this hidden inside a lion?”

“Looks like mom had even more secrets she didn’t tell anyone about. Figures.”

“There’s even a bubbled Bismuth in here too. I’m not. . . should I remove the bubble? No. We don’t know if they’re friend or foe yet. I’ll transport it back to the garden. Maybe Pearl knows about them.”

“Oh, sorry, let’s get you back. Ladies first.”

“That was—”

“Surprising? Yeah, mom’s secrets tend to do that. You should have been there when I found out she was Pink Diamond. Now that was something else.”

“I’m sure she had a reason.”

“Not a very good one. Guess that’s another thing we have in common: we’re both good fakers.”

“I never said it was. Steven, I barely know anything about your mom, but I know she wouldn’t want you to think of yourself as a fake. You are you. Other people will always have assumptions about you, but their opinions don’t matter. Yours do. You define your destiny, not your mom, not the Diamonds, you.”

“What if I can’t save the Earth, Connie?”

“Then you do your hardest to avenge it. And I’ll be at your side. No matter what.”

“Because you’re my knight?”

“No, doufus.” She lightly punched him in the arm before pulling him into a hug. “Because you’re my best friend.”

Part 1: Steven and Connie begin to secretly fuse. It is exhilarating. Steven and Connie end up spilling the beans to each other: Steven about what the Diamonds are doing a final assault which he cannot stop and Connie about Amethyst. Both walk away, feeling hurt and confused.

Part 2: Connie ends up finding Lion. Follows him then runs into Steven, who is also shocked but also excited because it’s a giant cat!

Part 3: Connie and Steven stalk the cat. Connie notes that Steven changed his outfit. His hand is also covered. He waves it off. She is suspicious. Connie and Steven finally get the cat over with some food. He’s fluffy. Steven buries his head into the fur and finds out, oh hey, there’s something in here.

Part 4: Steven and Connie go into Lion’s fur. See a lot of things. Steven takes out Bismuth’s gem and transfers it someplace, noting he needs to send this to Pearl. Steven finds his mother’s sword. He’s frustrated that it’s another secret about his mom, out of many. He and Connie reconcile and talk about trust.

Chapter 11: That I’m just a human

Part 1: Connie finds out Steven’s secret. He’s destabilizing. She promises not to tell anyone, but tells him he needs to tell someone. He promises.

Part 2: Steven and Connie fuse again. They enjoy themselves until they’re found out. Someone squealed. The Diamonds are there. White Diamond tears Steven out of the fusion, carries him away. Connie pretends to be dead. Blue Pearl checks her and lies. Steven screams, shattering stone and making the garden shake until White knocks him out. Connie falls unconscious.

Part 3: Wakes up to Spinel, Pearl, Lion, Amethyst and a newcomer by the name of Garnet. Connie feels horrible, that this is her fault for not being stronger. Pearl admonishes her. She is strong. She asks Connie what she wants to do. Connie says she wants to save Steven, but she cannot do it alone. Garnet says that she won’t be alone. Connie finds out about the other gems Pearl has been recruiting to join Pink Diamond’s “cause”.Bismuth shows up and says the Crystal Gems are back is Bismuth.

Chapter 12: I can be his knight

Part 1: Connie and the Crystal Gems arrive on Homeworld. Connie and Jasper fight. Connie wines.

Part 2: Connie and the Crystal Gems face Blue Diamond who joins them and later Yellow, who crumbles at how they’ve been treating each other.

Part 3: White Diamond fight. Steven is captured, telling her not to fight. He isn’t worth this. Connie says he is. Connie gets stabbed.

Part 4: POV Switch. White Diamond is stunned as she hadn’t meant to kill the girl, but Steven is furious. He grows until he’s as tall as White, tells her off for what she’s done to him. She loses control. She begins to deal with her own grief that Pink isn’t Steven, that White isn’t perfect and Steven is like, no one is perfect. In what world would everything you’ve done be considered perfect? He picks up Connie in his hands.

Part 5: Pearl tells him he has to let her go. Steven says he won’t. Not yet. He thinks about all the things taken from him: his childhood, his father, his friends, his home—but not Connie. He refuses to let her die. He pours his power into her, feels his humanity burning away as he tries to force her back to life. When that doesn’t work, he cries. He can’t part with her. He shrinks, holding onto her in his arms.

Part 6: POV Switch back to Connie. She awakens to Steven. He’s changed, less human, but no longer destabilized. She notes her pink hair. She asks if they’ve won. He says sort of. Gestures to the Diamonds who are now comforting a crying like a baby White Diamond. Connie is like, that’s disturbing. The others crowd in, group hug. Steven doesn’t let go of her hand the entire time.

Chapter 13: You’ll do it for him. (Epilogue)

Summary: Touch on some of the stuff the others are doing: Spinel making new friends, becoming very popular with human children in particular, Amethyst acting as a teacher to gems and humans alike, etc. The Diamonds are still in power, but Steven is slowly putting in new reforms as he is now officially considered part of the Authority, although he always runs his decisions through his gem/human elected council first.

Connie watches as Earth become barren. Humans destroy it. It is a somber affair. The zoo has been greatly expanded, but much life has been lost. Steven speaks of his dreams of creating a new earth, one where organics and gems can live in harmony. Connie wonders how it would be possible. Steven promises her, even if it takes, ten or twenty, or a thousand years, he will unite them. Connie is like, then you would be rebelling against the diamonds. Steven, not rebelling, reforming. Connie, then I will be here for you as your knight. Steven bends down, capturing her face, and if I want you to be more than that? Connie, I can be that too.

“Then I will be here for you, as your knight.”

“You’ll take me to be your Diamond? To honor and to fight for from this day forward?”

“For better or worse, I will serve you, my Diamond.”

“Forever and always, in war or in peace, to love and to fight for, till shattering do us part?”

“I believe those lines are mine, my Diamond.”

“And what if I want you to be more than my knight?”

“I can be that too, Steven.”

She knew there would be troubles ahead. Overthrowing a galaxy-wide empire through reform would take centuries, if not millennia, to do. But they had time. Earth was gone but Humanity was still here, growing and changing in ways that even surprised her.

And she would be there for it all.

She was her Diamond’s knight after all.

Notes:

• Blue takes on a more motherly rule, overbearing and trying to make him happy. She thinks the Crystal Gems brainwashed/mind-wiped Pink and is always trying to give him toys and plants to get him to laugh and sing. In this, her and Steven are closer than in canon, because Steven lost most of his support group and Blue, after thousands of years without Pink, sees this as a way of protecting her from the dangers.

• Yellow and Steven have a strange relationship as well, because she tries to teach him how to govern planets and order gems around but he doesn't get it and it frustrates her. She sees Steven as like a factory-set Pink and doesn't believe they can regain her original memories like Blue and White do. Still, she tries to engage his interests but is still haunted by the guilt of not protecting Pink originally. Because she failed to help her fellow diamond Pink was mindwiped and transformed into this fleshy hybrid and Yellow...struggles with that. She doesn't like emotions. So she doesn't see Pink as much as Blue does.

• White has the worst relationship with Steven. She sees him as something to be fixed and when that doesn't work, she tries more and more dangerous things. White is fixated on perfecting Pink, to turn her back into a gem or at least as close of one as they can get, because Diamonds must be perfect and Steven is clearly not. Steven wants to please White but he's terrified of her. Deeply so. He sort of dissociates when she's around. White's way of fixing things often leave Steven in pretty bad shape. Like, one of the most recent incidents in the fix turn his hair pink, but it also left him traumatized and unable to leave his garden (agoraphobia).

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T

Words: 1.3K~

Summary: His family’s not present, the third time he runs away. They never see the creature he becomes.

Early corruption AU.

I’m back! Future updates are likely to be slower as I am starting a new job soon, but at very least I have now settled into my new home. I share some writer’s meta on the AO3 version.

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3 as well. Thank you! <3

____

“So, I’ve been doin’ a lot of thinking,” Amethyst begins one day, propping her chin against the raised lip of the lava pool as she lounges on the floor at the center of the temple’s burning room, which they’ve started to use as their meeting space again.

Pearl— standing beside one of the lower branches of crystal pipes— tiredly glances her direction, nodding for her to speak. Even Garnet’s head tilts in interest, which is quite an accomplishment given her recent uncharacteristic silence. She suspects that she’s been busying herself scouring through whole galaxies of possibilities, although she’s not sure what good that will do without any reasonable intel to guide that vision. It’s been well over a week and a half since Steven’s gone missing, and beyond the existence of what they suspect is a corrupted Gem and footprints leading towards the water, they have no further clues. No inklings as to where Steven might have disappeared to, no hits from Greg’s posters, not even any leading tips from Homeworld or any of the outlying Gem-inhabited planets. And as for this particular creature... they’ve only met a single eyewitness. A human, who briefly caught its silhouette against the backdrop of sunrise. Perhaps if it ran further inland it would’ve tripped one of their old corrupted Gem surveillance sensors, but they never placed any in the oceans. They barely have any means to survey the oceans.

“I’ve been talkin’ to all sorts of people the past few days, right?” Amethyst says, widely gesturing as she rolls onto her back. “All Steven’s friends. People in town who knew him pretty well. And pretty much everyone agrees that he was actin’ pretty weird these past few months. Sadie described him as overly-tense. I called up Lars on his ship, and he kept saying that he was genuinely worried about his mental health, or whatever. Greg told me the same thing. And Connie. And basically everyone else.”

Pearl rhythmically flexes her fingers in and out of a fist against her side, her features rapidly curling into a scowl. “And what does that have to do with his disappearance?”

“Uh, potentially everything?” she snips back, throwing her hands in the air above her. “Y’guys, you’ve been making so many assumptions, but we barely know anything! You can’t just blindly throw out the idea that the whole corrupted Gem thing and Steven are linked without at least considering it.”

She grimaces, not even bothering to filter out the full intensity of her bitterness in the audience of such a ridiculous, illogical notion. “Amethyst, we’ve talked about your little ‘theory’ already. And everyone agreed that it’s impossible.”

“And yet it’s true that Steven has defied the impossible before,” Garnet comments suddenly, adjusting her visor.

“Are you defending her?” Pearl gasps, turning towards her old friend with her mouth agape with shock.

She crosses her arms, evidently unbothered by the weight of her subtle betrayal as she lounges back against the entryway. “I’m not defending nor rejecting, merely acknowledging a possibility.”

“Yeah, see?” the younger Gem chimes right back in, quickly pushing herself to her feet to rise to her full height. (Which blessedly— if she’s aiming for intimidation— isn’t much.) “Garnet gets it! Steven’s different than us. Always has been. His powers just do what whatever the hell he’s feeling, right? He feels happy, he floats. He feels spooked, bam! Bubble. He feels like an old man, he literally turns into one. And recently, it seems like he’s been feeling pretty crappy, which probably wasn’t helped by us getting all up in his business after he crashed the van.”

She squints. “Is this going anywhere?”

“Yes,” Amethyst stresses, peering right up at her, her eyes flaring with an urgency and passion Pearl admittedly hasn’t seen her wielding in quite some time. “Because I also talked to Jasper the other day. And she gave me the last piece of the puzzle I needed.”

The quartz steps back to address them both, hands nervously fidgeting with the frayed stitching of her missing sibling’s wool jacket.

“I gotta admit, this isn’t easy news, but it has to be shared.” She inhales tightly, briefly closing her eyes as she does so. “I’m pretty sure the reason Steven had her in the bathroom is that he was trying to heal her with the diamond essences he keeps there. Because he shattered her, in a duel.”

Pearl freezes. The kinder reality she’s stubbornly nurtured within her mind ignites and burns to cinders in an instant, hard light thrumming through the thin circuitry of her extremities at such an unimaginable pace that her form barely manages to keep up with the strain. She nearly crumples to her knees upon the sheer anguish of the revelation, only narrowly catching her fall to remain upright. Across the room, Garnet appears to be on the brink of splitting apart. She... shards, her primary instinct screams for her to violently discard every last bitter tasting word Amethyst has spoken into the furthest recesses of her mind, to rot and decay there for the rest of this cursed eternity, and yet still her picture perfect memory chooses to taunt her with details of the recent past... with the hauntingly damning fact that— when she checked the bathroom after watching Steven warp away, the last moment any of them laid eyes on him— the bottles of diamond essence had indeed been sloppily spilled into the bathtub.

“Her words, mind you, not mine,” Amethyst continues, no amount of stabilizing calm in her tone able to mask the slight tremor under the surface. “You can ask her yourself, if you want.”

“No,” she whispers, hot tears budding in her eyes as she presses her hands to her mouth. “That’s not what happened, it can’t be...”

“So, returning to my theory, you have a kid who’s already feeling terrible, someone whose powers do whatever he’s feeling. A diamond. And then he makes the worst possible mistake: he shatters someone. Accident or not, it don’t matter. Because maybe then... he starts feeling like a monster. Becomes a monster.”

“No,” she shakes her head vehemently. “No, no. Corruption doesn’t work that way, you—“

“Like, think about it!” Amethyst interrupts, striding towards her again. “Really think about it! All we know for sure is—“

“Amethyst, you have to STOP, this—“

“—corruption was caused by the Diamonds, but besides tha—“

“—you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking abo—“

“—how it actually works is like a total mystery!”

“NO!” she explodes, plunging the room around her into a dreadful silence. “You weren’t there, but I WAS!!” The burdens of her personal history grow heavier still as she jabs a decisive finger square at the center of her chest, continuing her impassioned tirade with water trailing down her cheeks in thin rivulets all the while. “I watched as that horrid corrupting light slammed against the surface, nearly obliterating any living Gem in its path, I watched as my friends and allies lost all control over their forms and became a twisted shadow of their former selves, I watched all of that!! So you don’t get to tell me what I do or don’t know about corruption!”

Amethyst’s expression sobers considerably in the audience of her outrage. Pointedly, as if expecting rescue, she turns her gaze to Garnet, who has her arms hugged around her middle as if holding herself in one piece. Quite honestly, after the horrid news they’ve just become privy to, she probably is.

“We should move on to a new subject,” the fusion states frankly, once again avoiding any clear stance on the topic. “This is clearly making Pearl very upset.”

The quartz’s eyes alight in clear indignation. “Y’know what? Fine,” she spits, shoving her hands in her pockets and storming towards the doorway. “If both of you are gonna be that sensitive, I’ll take my ideas somewhere else. But just for the record?” she says, whirling back to face them mere inches before passing through the temple’s threshold. “The reason Steven keeps running away is staring back at us in the mirror. You just refuse to see it. And that’s not my problem.”

[hext00ns]

love when my brain attaches to dumb weird shit no one else cares about like a weird crossover ship that only makes sense to my brain and the weird little stories that go on in it because i wanna ramble under the cut is my thots on all this 

Don’t trust Steven with any human stuff mans never went to school even Ben is better at stuff like budgeting then Steven is and Ben lived on the road with two other teenagers for a good chunk of his older teen years 

All thee of them pool together in the decision making department because all three of them have those good ol’ leader instincts. Dexter is use to working alone while both Ben and Steven are use to leading teams. At first they probably butted heads a LOT and still kinda do but now days they are pretty equal in that kinda stuff. 

Ben tries to plan dates, really he does. But he’d rather just get a smoothie with them or watch a horror movie at home. It’s Steven who plans the more romantic stuff. HOWEVER, Dexter will surprise them both when it comes to things like anniversaries cause he’ll plan something weirdly and uncharacteristically romantic for them that will probably make Steven start crying and Ben makes fun of them both despite being really really happy. 

Cooking and cleaning goes to Steven. He mother hens both Dexter and Ben. Dexter has issues with stepping away from work long enough to keep himself from keeling over and Ben still acts like a 13yo some times when it comes to cleaning up and choosing McDonald’s for every meal. Steven is super happy to do it though! He was raised by the gems and Pearl was always huge on cleaning and keeping things tidy and he is use to cooking for himself as well from a young age. He actually finds joy in both of these activities because they’re very domestic and calming for him. 

I have lots of different aus and ideas going on through my head so who confesses first is very much up for debate. Ultimately, Steven is the most emotional of the three and is most likely to say something in the moment about his feelings. Where as Ben has been in many relationships over the years and is super use to asking people out that he likes. Dexter I think could be the one to initiate the relationship but only with the right circumstances. 

Ben is kinda hardheaded. Steven is highly emotional. When they have fights Steven is normally the first to try and get them to all calm down and make up. He’s very pacifistic and hates arguments especially among loved ones. Dexter is a bit on the middle ground. He can get very frustrated very easily but also he’s more likely to cool down faster than Ben is. However, you KNOW you fucked up if Steven is the one that has to leave and calm down from the argument. There are definitely times where and argument got to a place where Steven was the one to leave in a fit of anger to go blow off steam. Normally during those fights, Dexter and Ben are so surprised (and kinda worried) that they often completely forget what the argument was even about. 

Steven is literally the BEST caregiver when someone is sick. He gets a lot of his motherly tendencies from Pearl. Dexter is pretty prone to stress fevers and working himself sick if Ben and Steven aren’t there to keep him from doing so. 

Ben and Steven are so goddamn talkative there are days when Dexter straight up kicks them out of the lab. Ben’s probably the most talkative of them all but Steven isn’t that far off. Dexter is pretty quiet unless you get him going on something. Man can infodump for hours about some science shit Ben and Steven have never even heard of. Of course they still try their best to follow along even if they are so fucking confused. 

Steven is the most observant when something is going on with the others. Especially in an emotional sense. He’s borderline an empath (actually I think his powers do technically make him and empath but besides the point). Dexter is pretty observant if something is different or someone is acting strangely if he can get his nose out of his work long enough to see it. But unlike Steven who will question it immediately, Dexter will give it a day or so before mentioning it. Ben is so goddamn oblivious sometimes. It’s okay he’s trying. 

Proposing honestly probably isn’t on any of their minds much. All three are young adults, two of which are traumatized heroes and the other one is a workaholic. Not only is their age a factor but their situations are too. If marriage ever was gonna be a thing with them it would be a good few years into the future I think. And, despite being the most emotional and romantic one of the bunch, Steven is actually the LEAST likely to pull out the ring. After his proposal failure with Connie he just is really scared to even mention the idea of marriage to anyone. He realizes that the idea of relationships he was raised around isn’t how humans work. Yes he can fuse with humans but no human wants to stay fused. Even Garnet learned that you can’t sacrifice your individuality to a relationship. This is a struggle for Steven because he’s always struggled with who his is and his identity and though things are better now he always will struggle. Even then he’s also very scared of taking things too fast. He knows he’s overly emotional and a huge romantic and he knows he jumps into stuff way too fast sometimes. Dexter might think about proposing sometimes but will probably just talk himself out of it a lot. He’s married to his work right? Well, in all truth he can’t deny that the idea is nice. But they’re all busy and also there’s three of them so how would that even work? Yeah he just talks himself out of it. However, Ben is the one who actually goes through with it (when the time is right). He really doesn’t care about things like “how it’ll work” and whatever. He’s pretty impulsive and leans in on his instincts. When he realizes that this is what he wants and is pretty sure Steven and Dexter would want it to, fuck yeah he’ll go for it. 

It’s down right annoying how much these three would sacrifice for each other. Or anyone really. Steven the most, he often values other lives and happiness above his own. He’s a helper and a healer but often forgets about himself in the process. Ben is use to self sacrifice. He’s a hero, like Steven. He is prepared to put his life on the line for them. Dexter is interesting because despite being the protag of his show I wouldn’t really call him the hero type and I don’t really think he’d strap himself with the title either. However if put into the position he will take up the mantle (we see so in Fusionfall). Honestly, Dexter is more surprised than anyone at how much he’d risk to keep the people he cares about safe. He does it on pure instinct without even thinking first. 

Ben is such a fucking blanket hog he gets his own. It’s green. Ben and Steven have to almost drag Dexter to go to bed and get some fuuucking sleep for god sakes. Steven isn’t a blanket hog only because he’s the cuddler. He gets all the warmth he needs from the others. Dexter wont admit it but Ben will, the fact that Steven is the best big spoon at night because he’s the biggest of the three. He’s wonderfully fat and it’s fantastic. Big arms big belly how do you not love to cuddle that!!!! However despite being a great big spoon Steven very much likes being the little spoon a lot. He likes to be held just as much as he likes holding others. Steven also is very prone to wanting to be held when he’s having a bad mental day. Ben would much rather be the big spoon in most his relationships but fuck man Steven’s hugs are so nice okay one exception. 

Steven is the most ticklish and Ben holds this against him. Ben is the least ticklish but once you get him going he gives this hilarious shreek. Dexter is ticklish but only if you know where to poke. However he’s also the one who will probably hit you on accident just as a reaction. 

Ben is the best kisser he’s had the most experience. Romantically, Steven’s only ever kissed Connie before then but he’s the best at like slower softer more romantic kisses that’ll make your heart ache. Dexter has no fucking idea what he’s doing but he’s a fast learner so there’s no complaining. 

God please they’re 18yos they are all so fucking irresponsible on some level. They’re so prone to doing dumb shit. Of course Ben more so out of all of them.

[shinneth]

SUF as a whole just left me with an empty feeling.

I feel you there, anon. In Dreams aside, I could take or leave the rest of this series (and in most cases, leaning well towards the latter sentiment). 

But I guess that’s to be expected when 90% of SUF focused squarely on Steven’s PTSD and need for therapy and the many, many red flags shown as early on as the beginning that signaled his eventual breakdown to where he ended up in the climax.

Especially with the fanbase itself constantly screeching that Steven needs therapy, Steven has PTSD, Steven’s gonna corrupt, et cetera… like, it was all laid on far too thick. So when we got to Growing Pains, it really didn’t move me like it did so many others because it came off as such a “No shit, Sherlock” moment for me when Priyanka finally addressed the underlying issues the show itself really didn’t even bother trying to be subtle about.

Don’t get me wrong; a lot of people who have suffered (or are presently suffering) from the same problems as Steven irl have been helped a lot by these kinds of episodes, and I do appreciate that.

But from my personal standpoint, yeah… I knew from the start that Steven’s underlying issues alone were not gonna be enough to sustain a full series, and sure enough, it wasn’t. We got to see some bits here and there with the other characters, but we also had a few choice characters be really shitty people in season 5 that never got properly addressed before it concluded, and with the timeskip in SUF, all of that just got handwaved off as “dealt with offscreen”, which is the laziest BS ever. 

And worst of all, at the end, they really didn’t stick the landing well at all. I’ll at least say SUF’s resolution wasn’t the mega levels of offensively terrible as Change Your Mind - but then again, it’s hard to out-do giving totalitarian space dictators with countless lives lost under their watch a fucking FACE-TURN out of nowhere. 

Like, really, the Diamonds’ presence (White especially) in SUF actively made my viewing experience even worse towards the end. Yes, I should be glad they’re establishing that the Diamonds are at least starting to use their powers for good and rebuild some of the lives they ruined.

But, y’know… doesn’t change the fact that they’re all responsible for multiple counts of global genocide. Like, any living creatures native to their colony planets? They’re still fucking gone. And the Diamonds themselves just come off VERY unnatural as “nice” guys - and in many cases, they’re even creepier now than they were as villains. Good god, White’s blubbering in the climax was fucking insufferable, though. 

Partially I think this comes from SU being a “kids show” so there’s this pressing need to end things as cleanly as possible. I’m more miffed that in the end, Steven still got pretty much everything he wanted.

They had some admittedly good set-ups to Steven’s growth, like having him accept that people grow up, change, and move on with their lives. We see the clear evidence that Steven’s got an unhealthy clinginess towards his human friends - and Connie’s no exception. 

And considering they took the time to establish that:

Connie has friends other than Steven. She gets along with them just fine, so it’s not like she’s totally lonely or isolated without him.

Connie is ambitious with many goals and aspirations when it comes to her education and potential career paths. She’s shown to have put a lot of thought into her options and at no point comes off as feeling pressured by her parents or friends into this.

Connie knows she has to work hard and often to achieve her dreams, and despite that rigid lifestyle, it doesn’t seem to bother her in the least. That would imply she really wants to reach these goals she set for herself, whether or not Steven’s in the picture at all.

Connie and Steven’s dynamic is a far cry from how it was when they started out in the original series. You can tell Steven has no clue what Connie’s talking about when it comes to her goals and just plays along, pretending he understands anything coming out of her mouth.

Connie, despite what her speech would lead you to believe, has been every bit as insufferably dense as the gems in SUF when it comes to Steven’s issues. In Bismuth Casual, Steven’s very specifically-worded concerns were misconstrued as a fear of skating (or his inability to, whatever) - and in the end, they just became Stevonnie rather than properly talked things through. You know, something PERIDOT 100% did in the prior episode.

Connie is very firm about wanting to live her life as herself. She’s not against being Stevonnie from time to time, but like hell does she want to be Stevonnie for the long term. 

Connie knows marrying in general at her age is a stupid-stupid-stupid idea, even if it is Steven. And considering her well-established commitment to her studies and reaching her lofty goals, Connie - at least at the time - seemed to know a relationship with anyone just wasn’t in the cards for her at this point in her life. There’s no need to rush that shit, and she won’t compromise her life just to give her needy friend this thing he wants that he doesn’t even fully understand truly is. 

Or, you know… just have Connie backpedal hard on a good chunk of that and date Steven so that he won’t become a monster again. I’m mostly kidding with that - but by kissing his monstrous self and that triggering his restoration, then soon later we see that even though Steven and Connie can only have a long-distance relationship at best, she’s dating him right now anyway even though this needlessly makes her life way more complicated than it needed to be - like seriously, how can I not take that as Canon Connverse being founded on the condition of “Okay, if it’ll keep you from losing your shit, going pink, and turning into a monster, I’ll date you”?!

And in the end it yet again gives Steven more-or-less exactly what he wants, even if it isn’t something he really needs. 

I’m glad Rebecca clarified that Steven would still visit Beach City often, because I had a very hard time buying him just traveling by himself on the road. And maybe it would have worked better if he was just doing it short-term to “find himself” or something along those lines, but nope! They’re basically saying this is what Steven wants to do.

And honestly, even that is dampened with his clearly-stated intention of visiting Connie way more than he intends to visit the gems. Even though Connie’s gonna be busy. With college.

This just… wasn’t a good ending. It had plenty of good moments - his goodbye to Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot especially was very well-executed and the closest this finale came to drawing out any real emotion out of me. I loved the scene of Steven giving Greg his room; that was adorable. The last meeting with Tsundere Jasper was amusing.

But everything else… ehhh.

I mean, what can we really take from this season that I haven’t already outlined? The biggest takeaways were the plot points everyone saw coming a mile away that weren’t even executed all that well. 

In Dreams, as great at is was, might as well have not even happened - because what really carried over from that episode through to the end? Even though Peridot was the only one who got through to Steven, legitimately comforted him and addressed his fears, and the episode for once ended with Steven being happy with no underlying concerns about his problems - immediately he’s back to being awkward and depressed and frustrated by Bismuth Casual.

And I get that shit like trauma shouldn’t be resolved so easily, but for what In Dreams accomplished, I expected there to at least be a semblance of progress. Steven’s known since that episode he can hang out with Peridot and talk to her about whatever without needing a reason to do it, but he never ever takes her up on that again. 

So again, what was the point? 

You really get the impression that the quality of writing took a backseat just to emphasize the symbolism of an issue people commonly have, but SUF’s execution stretched my suspension of disbelief far beyond its limits. 

And nothing stretched that farther than Connie’s insufferable fucking speech in I Am My Monster; that pretty much completely made In Dreams feel like it never really happened in SUF’s continuity. 

In some ways, I just prefer to believe In Dreams was just a dream itself. An AU offshoot in SUF itself. Considering it’s so ridiculously good compared to the other nineteen episodes and by far the most pure and wholesome, maybe that’s the best way to see it. 

In Dreams was too good for its own series. That’s literally the only thing I personally took from SUF as a whole (at least in terms of lasting impact). 

So yeah, I guess for only one episode of twenty to really hit me in the feels, “empty” is an apt way to describe the series, anon. 

Seriously, if I didn’t have my own massive SU-AU to mess around in and do things properly, this probably would have upset me more. 

Instead, I just chuckle at Rebecca’s Monster Steven and raise her to what I’m putting my version of Steven through in my current story. Where I’m pulling all the stops to make other characters matter even though the stars are undoubtedly Peridot and Steven. 

And I’m actually making actions yield serious, lasting consequences.

(yeah, part of me wishes Jasper wasn’t revived - or alternatively, have Steven accidentally shatter White Diamond instead of Jasper since he came awfully close in canon

or even better, shatter Jasper and revive her, then accidentally shatter White and not be able to revive her since Steven used up ALL that diamond essence on Jasper…

yeah I’m kind of a monster)

Your pain is mutually felt, anon. So I’ll prescribe you endless refills of better-written and better-executed SU fanon to heal the emptiness SUF left inside you.

[lightanddarklove]

Connverse Week Day 5 - Drive

Drive Carefully, Get Home Safe

Gen |1569 words | No warnings apply

Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe | Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe Read on Archive of Our Own | Day 1 prompt | Day 2 prompt |  Day 3 prompt | Day 4 prompt | Day 6 Prompt | Day 7 prompt | My Writing Masterpost

I wasn't able to finish Day 4 (or 6) yet, I'm trying not to make it into a monster chapter like Day 2, but this was easier to get out. I had an idea for a Greg & Steven one shot that this spun off of, I might try to write that later this month.

I hope you enjoy Connie being the comfort recipient, I've been punishing Steven too much and wanted to turn it around a bit. Its a bit more somber, but the kids will be alright.

I appreciate any feedback, and thanks for reading!

After a stressful evening, Steven wasn't quite prepared to have Connie fuming with him the following afternoon. He probably should have seen this coming, but he reassures her that his accident wasn't as bad as she fears. Post Volleyball, pre Snow Day of SU Future. Hurt/ Comfort. Steven Centric. Gen.

Steven had spent the day with his dad, working from his phone on rescheduling the projects he wouldn’t be able to delegate. The unscheduled tune-up his car had needed only resulted in 2 missed lectures which wouldn’t be too bad, but most of his other work would be piling up on his desk at Little Homeschool. This wasn’t how he wanted to spend his day, but it was unavoidable.

Greg had avoided putting any undue pressure on his son, seeing how booked his schedule usually was. Talking to the mechanics and getting the work needed with the car handled was something he could do that could ease Steven’s mind. The other phone call Greg had made while Steven was busy was not going to relieve the teenager’s stress right away, but it would likely help him in the long run. Greg just hoped Steven wouldn’t be too mad. Greg had kept his promise that he wouldn’t tell the gems the real reason the car needed to fixed today and not on a less busy day. However, Connie had not been mentioned in that conversation, and it was probably best she be kept in the loop.

When Steven darted off to give Connie a call, Greg went to grab a soda and snack for when Steven returned, knowing that would at least help keep his son from chewing him out too badly.

At around 4pm Connie sent Steven a text that just said “Call me.”

Steven rounded the back of the carwash and paced nervously for a moment. That could be about anything. Maybe trouble with something in class? Or something was going on with her parents? Or maybe it has something to do with one of her friends, or clubs? There was no use just hypothesizing about the problem, it would be better to get more data and then work on fixing it. After 3 rings the call connected.

“Hi Connie, is everything ok?”

“What happened last night after you left?” She wasn’t yelling but her tone was stern. He continued to pace.

“Uh, just a bit of car trouble, I don’t know what dad told you but-“

“Steven.” Connie barked. He swallowed hard. “You should have had some caffeine or slept on the couch, Mom is fine with that when you’re tired, but you insisted that you were able to drive and I have to hear from your dad that you dozed off while driving home!” Steven dragged the hand that wasn’t holding the phone down his face.

Connie, I didn’t think-“

“To tell me after it happened?” She cut him off, exasperated.

“I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Well, you did make me worry. I can’t believe you wouldn’t have called me after you were done on the phone with your dad.”

“It was late, and you had school today-“

“I want to know what’s going on with you Steven,” She said, voice tight. “If you got hurt, and nobody told me, I- I don’t know what I’d do.”

“I’m not hurt,” he said gently, trying to calm her. “It wasn’t that serious of an accident. No one else was hurt either. I messed up, but I’m waiting on the Dondai to be fixed and then it’ll all be ok.”

“You hit a guard rail, you could have gone through it, gone into the ravine and gotten really hurt!” Connie shouted. Steven cursed internally that his dad gave her all the details.

“I got lucky, I wasn’t going that fast when it happened.” He soothingly replied. “I also only grazed the side of the car. I’m ok, I promise.”

“I- I’m scared Steven,” she said, voice quaking. “What if this happens again? I don’t want to-” She choked down a sob.

“I don’t want it to either Connie.” His voice thick with emotion, but soft. His gut had twisted when he heard her start crying. “I’ll be more careful.”

“Falling asleep at the wheel kills people,” she bawled. “You could have hit a pole or tree or building! I don’t want to lose you.” His mouth went dry, heart thudding heavily as it had after the accident. “A- a-and if you do get into trouble, I want to know about it. Don’t leave me in the dark again. I hate it.”

“I’m sorry. I should have called. Your parents might be mad, though.”

“Well mom knows, I texted her after I got off the phone with Greg.” She admitted quietly. His pacing stopped, mind spinning. “She knows not to tell the Gems, though, your dad told me you didn’t want them to know, and I told her that.” Steven took a few breaths, trying to stop the tangled thought spiral of panic after knowing Dr. Maheswaran had been told about this accident. “So she’ll understand if you need to call after dark. Honestly, if you have to drive somewhere late, and you want to just talk on the phone to keep yourself from falling asleep, I’ll take that over worrying you won’t make it home.”

“Dad offered to do that too.”

“If you don’t call me on the ride, just text me that you got home when you leave my house. If I know you’re safe, I’ll sleep better at night.”

“I can do that.” He murmured. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m glad you’re ok.”

“Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t hit anything else. The car was scratched up but other than the passenger side mirror falling off, most of the damage isn’t too bad. I needed some other work done so they’re doing all of it today. I’ll be back on the road tomorrow.” He paused. “And I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“I sure hope you will,” she replied anxiously. “Why aren’t you getting enough sleep?” Steven chewed the inside of his lip as he considered what to say.

“It’s just been really busy lately.” Steven said, shrugging. “Little Homeschool takes up a lot of time, and some days are harder than others to get enough sleep.”

“Please try to take care of yourself, ok?” she urged. “I want you to be safe.”

“I know, I’ll try to be better about it. I don’t like making you worry.”

“My mom’s going to make you take a tea with you if you try to leave while yawning too much.”

“Yeah, just, please don’t tell Pearl. I don’t think I could take her hiding my car keys to make sure I don’t have any accidents. I don’t want to have to rely on Lion again, he disappears for days at a time, and warps can’t get me everywhere.”

“I won’t. I know you like your independence.”

“Are you still mad?” Steven asked.

“A little bit, but I know you understand, so I feel a lot better.”

“I hope you can forgive me.”

“As long as I know you’ll be more careful. I won’t stop talking to you over it.”

“Good, that was awful last time.”

“Yeah, but we made it through.” Connie paused. “I should probably tell mom you’re doing ok, I stopped texting her after you called me.”

“Ok, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye,” Connie replied, and hung up. Steven put his phone back in his pocket. He walked back to the pair of beach chairs his dad had at the front of It’s a Wash. He laid back in the chair and sighed.

Greg came out of the office where he kept his microwave and mini fridge with a piping hot egg and cheese wrap on a paper plate, in one hand and two sodas in the other. “Everything ok, Schtu-ball? I got a bite to eat if you want.” Greg offered the sandwich to Steven, which he took, but wouldn’t meet his dad’s eyes. “You mad?”

“Yeah, kind of,” Steven said, shrugging. “She brought up some good points though. She was yelling and crying, which made me feel bad that it was my fault, but I was gonna tell her later, just not today.”

“Well, I figured you should have somebody else to talk about this with.” Greg replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “I probably shouldn’t have pressed as much, but I know you feel guilty about the car, and if you won’t talk to the gems or me, somebody’s gotta check in with you, you know?”

“I hate being the reason she’s upset,” Steven muttered, taking a bite of the sandwich. The pair looked to the setting sun, and Greg sat down, placing one soda next to Steven’s chair and kept the other in his hand. ”I don’t want to cause any more trouble.”

“We all make mistakes, kiddo.” Greg said. “I know I did, at your age. As long as you’re learning from them and you don’t get hurt doing reckless things, we’re not going to hold it against you. She’s angry with you because I know the two of you mean a lot to each other. And you mean the world to me. Just be more careful, ok?”

“Yeah,” Steven replied.

Greg and Steven spent the evening in quiet reflection, enjoying the sunset and each other’s company. Greg could only be grateful that Steven’s first accident hadn’t been worse. No one could replace the love he had in his heart for his son, though he knew Steven had the love of many. He hoped one day that Steven’s best friend would be the one he thought that way about, too.

[snellyboi]

Psst, hey, you! Want a Steven Universe hot take?

Words: Too damn many Summary: It’s a Steven Universe hot take about hurting connie, and how it ties into the show, the original Steven Universe, the lack of filler, and Steak Dinners. Warnings: Longe boi, a bit of a text wall but I do use paragraphs so it’s not awful I guess? A lot of talks about filler and stuff at the beginning.

ALSO I SHOULD POINT OUT this isn’t, like, some sort of SU critical circa 2017 post. I have qualms with the show, which are discussed, but overall, I think it’s pretty good stuff. Please be aware of that. I’m not gonna say it’s the worst thing on the planet because it’s not. 

UNDER THE CUT:

Before we get into the meat of the conversation, I need to tell you where I’m coming from. 

I have...strange feelings about Steven Universe.

It came out when I was starting High School, when I was bingeing cartoons like nobody’s business because peer pressure for years had made me repulse them. I didn’t care much about the deeper meanings of the show at the time, if I wanted to do deeper meanings I could go back and watch ATLA or those Rebecca Sugar episodes of Adventure Time, or OTGW. This was a bunch of magic space rocks fighting other magic space rocks! I was SO down!

Near the middle, though, and closer to the end, I guess I got a little...bored with it? I dunno what it was; well, I do now, but at the time I had no clue. it just seemed...a little over the top. I guess I had signed up for something like early Adventure Time, or the early parts of any given ATLA season. It became more of a drama than anything else, like a hundred Zuko and Iroh moments rolled into one, emotional punch after emotional punch.  

This isn’t the most sound assessment, no, and current me would be...a little annoyed at best if a show started doing this today. Sure, one could make the argument that I sound super hypocritical in retrospect, as I’m a huge fan of She-Ra and Infinity Train, but for every ‘Mermysteries’ in She-Ra there’s a ‘Roll With It’, and Infinity Train’s seasons are 5 nights long, perfect for punch after punch, but on Steven Universe? For every ‘Mirror Gem’, there was a...’Gem Harvest’. Which, sure, it was alright, but c’mon, calling an episode where we meet an entirely new character, even if only for a moment, filler, is a bit of a stretch. Filler is like ‘Always BMO Closing’ or something. And that hits the bone of the weird part here, does Steven Universe even have filler?

The whole 'no true filler’ idea is one of those things that sounds great on a show, but falls flat, because when people complain about filler, it’s complaining about bad filler, not the presence of it in general. If I get a steak and fries, and the fries are bad, I’m not complaining because they’re fries, I’m complaining because they’re bad fries. She-Ra is a good porterhouse with great fries. Infinity Train and OTGW are filet mignon with lobster tail, not really filler, but perfect in a way. Near the end, and really, for me, all the way through, Steven Universe felt more like a strip steak with no sides, just a little bit of A1. 

Isn’t this post about Connie, SUF, and how that all works? 

Yes, it is. We’re getting there. 

Steven Universe Future has been all emotional roller coasters the whole way through, seemingly. I’ll be honest, I’m not as into it as I was into Steven Universe, for a few reasons. Mostly, it expands on that no filler problem, big time. Nothing feels like it can be out of place, there’s even an episode titled the ‘Very Special Episode’, a slang term used in TV to talk about stuff like stranger danger specials, or the Golden Girls tackling the issue of gay marriage, etc. With the tense build of Steven’s mental health issues, I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. Whether I like it or not, it’s doing what it needs to do, and I’ll acknowledge that it does exactly what it sets out to accomplish. 

So in Steven Universe, the main conflict is Steven and his past, and trying to convince people that no matter who someone is, they can be redeemed. It’s not a space war epic like I thought it would be (I used to be angry about that, but, just like the show said, people change, and now I have different qualms with it) but it does really well with that. So what is the conflict in SUF?

Steven has lost his raison d’etre. 

He’s going through that most existential of crises; “I’m at the top of the mountain, now what?” 

NOW WE FINALLY GET TO THE HOT TAKE!

The reason I brought up any of what I just did is to link it back to this heinous, outright stupid idea that Steven would just, like, I dunno, choke slam Connie or whatever you sick monsters wanna see. 

All of this No Filler, Everything is important stuff told us a lot about the characters. After all, it’s hard not to have character development in a show environment like that. Steven was shown as someone who genuinely cared, a lot, about everyone around him. He almost over-empathizes, to the point where he’s able to see the good in a bunch of arguably fascist space rocks voiced by former broadway divas. As much as I dislike the show for only ever being weighty and never having any ‘true filler’ or whatever, the reason it did that makes stylistic sense; Steven has no filler in his life. He’s way too empathetic. He cried when he found out that Snakes don’t have arms, for christ’s sake!

As annoying as it felt watching it, it’s an unfortunate reality that some people are forced to live their lives that way, empathizing with anyone and everyone they meet, and it hurts, and when you fix all the problems people had, but they suddenly leave? 

That fucking hurts. And that’s how I think we ended up here. 

That’s also why I think he’s not gonna hit Connie. At least, not purposefully. 

Steven has pretty openly expressed feelings for Connie before, and while we haven’t seen a romance line yet, it’s pretty obvious it’s slated to at some point. 

Now, if Steven can empathize with Space Stalin™, he can empathize with a girl he’s had a crush on for years at this point for going away to seek higher education. Sure, these pink outbursts are getting to him, as recent leaks may have shown, but I doubt that hurting Connie would crop up. It goes against a lot of the show’s themes of community and healing. But most of all? 

It’s just crappy writing. 

The show has had its fair share of clunkers in my opinion, as every show longer than 2 seasons is bound to have. Remember that episode where Nanefua runs for mayor? Or how about the one with Lars and the Off Color gems where they’re there for a grand total, of, like...the opening? 

None of those were terrible episodes though, just...forgettable. It’s not as if Steven just pulls out a chain gun and starts blasting in one of them. That would be stupid, and garbage, and a copout to generate ratings. Punching Connie would be like killing Brian on Family Guy; no weight, just shock. Flash in the pan. A bomb going off with no warning, no suspense. A jump scare. 

And that’s why I talked about the whole No Filler thing, and how it annoys me to no end, but how it’s necessary and worth while!

No one would ever have spent this whole time building up Steven as an over empathizer with an Atlas personality just to have him punch someone whose been his love interest since 2013. 

We would never spend an entire show cycle building someone up as caring too much about the people around him for his fatal flaw to be punching his girlfriend. The no filler thing was a noble, brave idea, that in my opinion fell over. But damn, did it do great things for the characters on the show, even if it sacrificed pacing. 

It should come as no surprise by now that the no filler thing, to me, is a bit of a stretch. Of course there was filler; sure, lore gets expanded, but when it’s not expanded well it just feels like the writers aren’t quite sure what to do (hmm, maybe they’d be better at filler if they’d written some beforehand...). 

But it portrayed the lead amazingly well, giving us a world through his eyes, and set up an amazing story about someone who cared too much about a world that was starting to care less and less about him. Setting us up for an amazing show, whether I want to watch it that often, or not. 

Let’s face it, it may not be my favorite meal, but sometimes you just can’t beat a strip steak with a little bit of A1.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 56: Love Letters

“Three’s a crowd.”

So, it turns out time passes in Beach City! Its residents aren’t in a Springfield Limbo where seasons change but ages stay the same, and this opens a whole new realm of possibilities to expand the ongoing narrative of Steven growing up by having him actually grow up. We really shouldn’t take this for granted, considering how easy it is for a cartoon to freeze characters (especially child characters) in time, and honestly my biggest initial takeaway from Love Letters is that it’s the first episode that deals with how the passage of time by itself, rather than a series of events like Steven’s adventures, affects the show and its characters. This is a show where Steven, Lars, and Sadie disappeared for a week and nobody seemed to notice, so yeah, it matters.

The reason time alone is a factor is because we focus on the all-but-forgotten Jamie the Mailman. After a cameo in Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem, Jamie disappears without a trace for thirty episodes. This isn’t remarkable for a side character, especially one whose only other appearance is the first scene of the third episode. Jamie may be sweet and funny in Cheeseburger Backpack, but on a show full of sweet and funny characters he was easily lost in the background.

Well, it turns out his absence for the latter half of Season 1 has an in-universe explanation, one that allows the show to hang a quick lampshade on the common trope of vanishing characters while reintroducing him to those of us that forgot he existed: Jamie was literally gone, looking for his big break in the bright lights and busy streets of the Sunflower State, the big KS itself, home of Dorothy Gale and the Rockin’ Chalkin’ Jayhawks, that’s right, Kansas.

I’m really glad he’s back! Jamie is similar to Ronaldo in his role as a background character and occasional lead whose cluelessness is played for laughs and occasional drama. Both are passionate about self-expression (Jamie through acting, Ronaldo through blogging and the occasional documentary) and show some skill at it, but think themselves masters. However, where Ronaldo fluctuates between funny and grating at the drop of a fedora, Jamie is a consistent force for entertainment; he never reaches the comedic highs of Ronaldo’s A-game, but we never suffer any lows.

The secret, I think, is that Jamie’s core kindness evokes empathy instead of annoyance when he goes off the rails. His silliness doesn’t hurt anyone, and in an episode where he could’ve turned bitter and nasty over romantic rejection, he handles it surprisingly well considering his maturity level in other regards. This reaction may be a thematic necessity to teach Steven and Connie and the audience a generic “honesty is good” lesson, but it sets the tone for Jamie’s fascinating ability to be self-important without being a jerk.

Jamie’s overacting always benefits from Eugene Cordero’s veteran comedy chops, but is amped up even further by Lamar Abrams and Hellen Jo’s delightful brand of hypersilliness (see: Steven and Garnet’s workout in Future Vision, Amethyst’s burial service in Watermelon Steven, all of Rising Tides, Crashing Skies). Jamie’s love letter is zany enough, but actually seeing him write it does wonders to enhance what could have been a simple letter-reading sequence. Even if Jamie didn’t literally write the letter this way, it’s a nice peek into his ridiculous self-image, complete with anime twinkles.

Steven and Connie are classic theatrical meddlers in a classic farce, where love letters gone awry and easily avoidable misunderstandings create melodramatic tension. It’s a nifty twist that they aren’t playing matchmakers despite their resemblance to middlemen like Don Pedro or Dolly Levi, but just want to spare Jamie’s feelings. And I love that Steven, a hero with a weakness for schmaltz, rejects the idea of Jamie and Garnet as a couple even before Garnet does, solidifying that neither the show nor our well-meaning but misguided kids are going in that direction.

(Love Letters also don’t drag out secret of who wrote “Garnet’s” response letter, which further subverts typical farce tropes but probably has more to do with the eleven minute runtime.)

As Jamie says, Steven and Connie are super cute. It’s nice to have them as supporting characters (albeit the characters with the most screen time); we get snippets of them just hanging out in most of their episodes, but this time it doesn’t contrast with more serious drama like Connie’s replacement by a doppelganger or the possible end of their friendship. This is the first full episode of the two kids just being kids since Winter Forecast (oh look, another Jo/Abrams episode), and it’s soon to be followed by Connie’s temporary indoctrination; heavy episodes like Full Disclosure and Sworn to the Sword may be great, but a respite is appreciated.

Fortunately, a calmer (if wackier) tone doesn’t mean Love Letters lacks good character moments. Connie gets a quiet display of her growing emotional intelligence in the back-to-back scenes of Jamie’s admission of multiple rejections and the rewrite of Garnet’s letter. In the first scene, after hearing all about Jamie’s emotionally vulnerable state, she sees no issue with handing him another rejection and has to be stopped by Steven; whether or not ripping off the bandage is the right course of action, Connie’s reaction shows a distinct lack of tact. But in the second scene, she’s the head writer of the revamped letter (using the power of torrid soap opera know-how); even if she and Steven are way off-track in terms of how romance works here, she understands the problem and wants to help.

Little slip-ups and corrections like these do a great job of showing how far Connie has come from Bubble Buddies without losing the realistic awkwardness that makes her so endearing. Her disadvantage to Steven on the emotional intelligence front also continues to even out their relationship, as she schools him in book smarts throughout the series and will soon become a far more capable tactical fighter to his natural talent, a la Katara and Aang. Just because Steven isn’t an idiot and Connie isn’t emotionless doesn’t mean their differences have to go away, and Love Letters is a great example of her lower-key foil duty in action.

Garnet is mostly great as the oblivious, then apathetic subject of Jamie’s affection. Her sexualized emergence from the sea is played for laughs thanks to over-the-top visual effects and Estelle’s exaggerated sultriness. Visually, while her introduction may evoke classic Birth of Venus imagery, the more amusing sight gag can be found in the, erm, interesting positioning of Jamie’s mailsack malebag mailbag as he’s filled with sudden lust:

But back to Garnet. Her instant and insistent dismissal of Jamie may be cold, but it’s fair and faithful to her character: Garnet is locked down on the relationship front, and we’ve seen how little she cares about the feelings of human strangers from her interactions with Kofi (and her general demeanor). She benefits from having little to do with Steven and Connie’s scheming, which makes her another victim of poor communication who gets fed up with what she perceives to be a pushy admirer instead of doubling down on her bluntness to a point that might make her seem mean; it also reinforces how important is to take the feelings of both people involved in a crush into account.

Even so, my biggest/only issue with Love Letters is her final conversation with Jamie, where she dismisses his infatuation as a performance. I guess I get that she’s trying to let him down easier than before and is putting things in a way he understands, but there’s a much better way to differentiate between love and a crush than essentially saying his crush is delusional. As someone who’s had crushes and has been in love, sure, the latter is strong enough to make the former look tame in retrospect. But that doesn’t make infatuation an act, and for a show that’s all about feelings, Steven Universe could do way better at explaining Garnet’s point of view without being condescending about someone’s emotions (especially the emotions of a young audience).

That said, Jamie’s response is somewhat true: local theater, at least, is really solid advice.

Future Vision!

Beyond local theater being in the future, Love Letters gets a nice resolution in Jamie insisting that he’s moved on in I Am My Mom. And then we get to see that, uh, nope, he’s still holding the torch as of Reunited.

Our introduction to Barb is a long time coming, and the fact that she knows Greg telegraphs their low-key and largely off-screen friendship.

If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have inconsistencies…

Despite Garnet proclaiming that love at first sight doesn’t exist, The Answer more or less shows Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship to be just that. Maybe they spent more time on the surface getting to know each other than it seems, but as per its fairy tale nature, love springs up pretty much immediately. (And it’s great! But maybe don’t have that person be against the notion of instant love.)

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

I enjoy the goofiness here and the dedication to a farcical format for a theatrical character, and as I said, the acknowledgment that time is an actual factor for this show earns some points. But beyond not sticking the landing, and it’s honestly just a little too broad to be a favorite.

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

On the Run

Warp Tour

Maximum Capacity

The Test

Ocean Gem

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Future Vision

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

     4. Horror Club      3. Fusion Cuisine      2. House Guest      1. Island Adventure

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences

Words: 2.2K~

Summary: A series of shorts detailing what might’ve happened in the moments after I Am My Monster, told from six different points of view.

Greg apparently had a LOT on his mind, because this was supposed to be short and instead it’s over 2000 words, ahah. Final chapter!

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3. Thank you! <3

Chapter warning: Allusions to past non-canon character suicide.

____

Chapter 6: Greg

Hours pass.

Bismuth makes quick and quiet work of replacing the cracked slider door in Steven’s room while he sleeps, and secures a thick tarp over the open front of the house to keep the coastal breeze somewhat at bay until she can finish her repairs to the windows and siding. She warns that might take a day or two. Garnet, meanwhile, busies herself the rest of the afternoon and evening fielding all of the Diamonds’ frazzled calls, and reassuring them of the boy’s current stability. Pooling their knowledge, Dr. Maheswaran and Peridot make sure to confirm that. Beyond some minor scarring, neither his organic or Gem half seems to exhibit any serious physical health conditions in consequence of what happened today, news which works to ever so slightly lift the air of the household. With no other concrete tasks to complete, Pearl, Amethyst, Lapis, Connie, and Greg all rotate between sweeping debris off the floor, wandering the beach to mentally recuperate, and dutifully sitting at Steven’s side as he rests. It may not sound like a lot, but alas the level of emotional labor demanded by such a situation is immense.

All in all, the sun’s long since dipped below the horizon by the time Greg finally collapses onto the mattress laid out in the back of his van, craving if but a moment of privacy and respite from all the chaos. It’s been... an insufferably long day, to put it lightly. Busy. Tons of cleaning, and intercepting nosy neighbors, and bedside monitoring...

He offered to take the first night shift watching Steven a few minutes ago, but Pearl must’ve noticed the dark circles creeping ever wider under his eyes, because she proceeded to gently overturn his offer and remind him of humanity’s daily sleep requirement. And she’s right, of course. He can’t stay up as long as he used to in his twenties anymore. Plus, he probably deserves some time to himself after everything that’s transpired. There’s plenty of Gems left in the house who can keep watch, after all. Steven will be fine for a few hours. Surely nothing else can happen when he’s asleep, right?

 Right??

Exhaustedly slumping against the side wall, Greg offers a glassy, vacant stare at the contacts list of his phone, roughly wiping the damp from his cheeks with his other hand as his thumb hovers over one of the numbers. Does he dare drag someone else into this whole situation? Surely the kinder solution would be to refrain from widening the circle any more, from letting anyone else learn about today’s harrowing events. And yet if he fails to find a proper outlet for the raw emotions all of this has violently hauled to the surface, he fears he just may suffer a mental break himself, repressed memories bursting like a vicious flood through the dam he desperately tried to seal them behind all those years back. Much of this is just... far too familiar.

His phone slips right through his trembling hands as the cruel reality of what he witnessed today finally begins to carve its indelible presence in his mind. A strained sob leaking from between his tightly pursed lips, he buries his head between his knees, clutching at the worn bottom hem of his jean shorts like an infant to a parent’s finger. Small. Vulnerable.

Helpless.

His son... oh stars, his only son, he—

He can’t talk about any of this to the Gems; they wouldn’t wholly grasp the uniquely human nature of his concerns. And he doesn’t feel comfortable discussing these matters with Dr. Maheswaran, especially not after the stern words she dealt to him back at the hospital. He’s burdened her enough already, by this point. No, there’s only one fellow human he feels close enough with to engage in this sort of conversation.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, he reaches for the phone he dropped on the mattress. Turns it on. Nervously clamps down on his bottom lip as he selects his cousin’s contact and dials.

The passing heartbeats slamming against his ribs are almost nauseating in their needy clamor as he waits, his calloused fingers tapping against the thick rubber of his phone case. Andy’s never been a particularly tech savvy guy, so honestly, it’s well within reason he might not even carry his phone on his person to answer. And that’d be fine, really. In fact, he might even prefer it, since he’s still not confident he’s emotionally prepared to discuss any of this at this precise moment, anyways. But just as he’s beginning to undergo mental preparations for what on Earth he might leave as a voicemail message, his older family member finally picks up.

“Greg?” Andy’s gravelly voice rings through, sounding somewhat tinny through their connection. “Hey, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? How’s the ol’ Universe family unit doin’?”

“Not great, honestly,” he narrowly manages in response, his throat constricting tight. “That’s kinda why I’m calling, if you have the time to listen?”

“Heh. I’m a drifter, you know I ain’t got no schedule. Carry on.”

“Well... geeze, how do I put this. There was, uh... a bit of an incident today. With Steven.”

“An incident?” his cousin questions, marked worry immediately painting his tone. “The kid okay??”

He falls silent for a few seconds upon this question, threading his hyperactive digits through the split ends in his hair on automatic, a stress-induced habit. “Unclear,” he says, a slight quiver making itself intimately known in his words. “I mean, physically, at the moment, yes, but—“

He cuts off once more. It suddenly occurs to him that little of today’s events would make sense to Andy without providing the appropriate context. Or, at least, what little context he’s capable of giving as a father. It’s still terrifying to admit the truth to himself— that he doesn’t possess the full story. That he hasn’t been paying close enough attention. That, in many ways, he willfully blinded himself to all the troubling events transpiring around his son throughout the years, foolishly believing that if he didn’t involve himself... that if he simply stayed out of the Gems’ hair... everything would go to plan, and Steven would finally receive the training he needed. He didn’t expect things would grow so complicated.

He didn’t expect that his teenage son would have to march into battle carrying nothing but his wits and a shield time and time again.

With a weary sigh and a quick apology, to which Andy brushes off, Greg begins to weave a verbal picture of everything that’s transpired across the last few days. First, the hospital call. Rushing home from tour, only to find his son giant and flushed pink, literally filling an entire room with the sheer volume of his trauma. The shattered x-ray in his chart, hinting towards hidden hurts that— before all this— even Steven seemingly hadn’t processed or quantified. Then, the road trip. The unwanted reminders of his childhood. That blasted CD. His expression sobers as he describes the fateful argument they had on the road home, one which lead to his son accidentally breaking the steering wheel and flipping the van. Next... his disappearance. No texts for four whole days, which is so unlike him. He was worried sick. And the next time he saw him, he was eight feet tall, glowing, and painfully manic in behavior, with each new sentence spilling from his mouth revealing an even more heartbreaking picture of the sort of poor mental state he’d spiraled into. It was nothing short of a father’s worst nightmare, propelled into horrifying, vivid reality.

Nothing in this corner of the galaxy could’ve prepared him for the primal surge of terror and anguish he was engulfed within when that nightmare distorted and transformed even further.  

His only son... colossal and coated in thick scales and spines, sclera black as night... roughly clawing at this unfamiliar form, smashing his skull against the cliffside, roaring with an inner pain so primal that the sound now haunts the depths of his very soul—

“I- you remember what happened with cousin Jo, back when we were young?” Greg says softly once he’s caught Andy up with the details of situation, his voice frail and unsteady, the tone of a man helplessly marooned amidst his anxieties. “Before she was sent to that mental rehab place? Well, I’m... with the addition of Gem magic, it almost felt like that. I mean, h-he’s fine for now, we have him resting, but... but I’m just so scared he won’t come out of this, like her, a-a-and that one day he’ll—“

A mewling sob bubbles up in his throat, swiftly severing that train of thought. N-no. No, he refuses to even utter that horrible idea out loud! After all, a world without Steven in it isn’t worth envisioning.

Andy’s eventual response— albeit tinged with a justified shade of awkwardness, given the emotionally charged nature of this conversation— is filled with genuine compassion, and for that he’s dearly thankful.

“Aw, hell... Greg, I’m- I’m so sorry. I, uh- I could fly over, if any of ya’ need me? For emotional support, or whatever?”

Upon this kind offer, he inhales deep to steady his breath, and wipes away dewy beads of moisture from the corner of his eyes, desperately hoping that he can mitigate the pitiful wavering of his voice over the phone. He’s gotta fight to reliably keep some form of composure in front of other people, damnit. His kid can’t have his dad breaking down around him too, of course.

“No, you’ve got places to be,” he replies evenly, pressing his thumb and pointer against one of his aching temples. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You ain’t asking,” he retorts, the eye-roll evident in his tone. “I’m offering. Listen- family takes care of family, y’hear? And I’m only about a day’s flight away, anyways. It’s really the least I could do.”

He sighs. Absentmindedly tugs at a thick strand of his hair. Offers a long, contemplative stare at the rickety age-worn handle affixed to the inside of the van’s back doors. Truth be told— ignoring his deep-seated guilt at dragging Andy into all this to begin with— he’d love having another family member around to embrace, especially a human one who can more deeply understand the crux of his anxieties about this delicate situation. But in the end, he shouldn’t be prioritizing his own feelings and comfort. He’s not the one in crisis, his son is.

Desperately hoping he’s making the right choice, Greg flexes his fingers, and acquiesces to the offer, on one condition: only if Steven consents to having visitors, once he’s awake.

Andy hums in approval. “Understood. Don’t wanna overload the poor guy with any surprise visits, or whatever.”

“Yeah. The last thing I want to do is push him too hard, too fast.”

He pauses, braving waves of parental grief to spend a moment to reflect on Steven’s emotional progression over the past few months... a stray negative comment here, an unusually forlorn mannerism there... All of them events that, in isolation, wouldn’t point to anything more than your standard ‘teenage angst,’ but when observed in strong, unceasing patterns, begin to reveal deeply harrowing truths about the state of an individual’s self-image. How did he never notice? Why wasn’t he there to catch him in his fall?

“I think he hates himself,” he says quietly, his voice hitching up at the end. “He didn’t say so directly, but- but I can sense it. And I don’t know how to help him, I-I... I don’t know if I can.”

“Nonsense,” his cousin scoffs, “‘course ya’ know what to do! What does any good father worth their salt give their sons?”

Unable to evade the momentary temptation of feeling miserable and sorry for himself, he slumps back against the wall, giving a weak shrug that his current audience would never see.

“I dunno, maybe a stable, safe childhood? Not growing up poor as dirt in a van?”

“No, you numbskull,” Andy immediately cuts back, “you love on ‘em and support ‘em just as much as you always have! Y’ show him that you’re always gonna be there for him, and that he can trust you with anything.”

“But I haven’t always been there for him,” he exclaims petulantly. “That’s the whole problem! That’s one of the reasons he ended up like this.”

“Greg,” he says, his voice softer this time. “Listen to me, ain’t nobody perfect, okay? We’ve all made our mistakes with people. Me? More than most. But what we can’t do is let those mistakes cloud what’s happening right now. Y’know, that’s one of the hard lessons I’ve had to learn over the past two years, that you can’t always make things about you. Because right now, it’s about him. He’s dealin’ with some hard feelings, and he needs all of our help. So, let’s help him. Together. We’ll start with one foot in front of us, and we can take it from there. All right?”

Closing his weary, exhausted eyes and pressing his thumb firm against his still-aching temple, Greg Universe gives a long sigh and finally concedes to the reality that— just as he’s not solely responsible for the decline of his son’s mental state— no man should be an island when it comes to the task of supporting one’s journey towards recovery. As with everything, the extended Universe family unit will face the future together, hand-in-hand. Step-by-step.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah, I think that’s do-able.”

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T (No TW this chapter, but keep in mind the grander story involves major character injury)

Words: 6.7K~

Summary: The first (and with any luck, only) time it happens, he’s almost 16.

Chapter Summary: Aftermath.

This is officially the longest complete SU fic I’ve finished. I’m so proud ;w;

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3 as well. Thank you! <3

_____

Chapter 4: The Remembrance

His mind is shrouded by darkness for long enough that in the split instant the curtains finally part, for just a momentary shard of infinity, the mere idea of any world beyond the pitch-black he’s become so accustomed to seems like a farce.

Resultantly, his journey to consciousness is about as labored and exhausting as a backpacking trip across the Great North in the dead of winter.

He’s greeted by flashes of white, first— intermittent, dim. They splash across his inky sky in unreliable patterns, little bursts of static gearing up to pull him out of this all-consuming nothingness and back to reality. Next, a heartbeat. Steady and sure, such a relief to experience that his throat can’t help but constrict in a wave of all-encompassing emotion. (Why is he so relieved to feel something this normal?) Lying somewhere intangibly beyond his awareness, he can hear... water? Waves, he immediately corrects himself. The aching familiarity of waves crashing upon the shore, a sound he’s shared his front yard with for almost his whole life. Elsewhere, the faint scent of herbs and simmering broth delicately pulls on his consciousness, burning through tangled threads of disorientation and confusion and beckoning him awake.

Steven’s eyelids flutter open, thin lines of light streaming through the gaps between his eyelashes.

The moment he does however, the stark actuality of his situation slams into him with a vengeance. His head throbs as memories begin to re-establish themselves like individual puzzle pieces locking into place.

 I was— Dad, and Amethyst... the fountain... empty, and then Pearl had to....

His heart’s pace snaps into overdrive in seconds. Thrashing under his blankets, he manages to kick his arms and torso free so he can rush to sit up. Dizziness assails him as he yanks up the bottom of his pajamas and splays his hand across the smooth, warm surface of that diamond at his core, feeling for cracks, for chips, for—

 Huh. Imagine that.

Steven inhales deep as he attempts to balance out the pace of his breath, blood still pounding in his ears as he delicately traces a shaking index finger around the edge of the central pentagonal facet of his gem, entirely unblemished and whole. There’s no sign of damage, no thin stress fractures left behind. No evidence that it was ever cracked at all, really. For an excruciatingly lengthy moment his brow creases inwards in confusion as he wonders if all this agony was nothing but a stress-induced nightmare. But then again...

He groans, pressing his fingers to one of his throbbing temples as the ambient pain hits him.

Oh stars, everything aches. His head, his limbs, his spine, every square inch of his body feels like he’s been pressed through a meat grinder and ruthlessly spat out on the other side. If that’s not proof that what happened on his mission with Amethyst was real, then he doesn’t know what is. Drowsily, he flops back against his pillow and squeezes his eyelids shut, stubbornly yearning for the comfort and familiarity of sleep-induced unconsciousness. Maybe, just maybe... he can sleep these aches away.

Time passes far too unreliably as he’s laying motionless there, struggling against a hyperactive flood of thoughts to return to his earlier state of rest. Has he been awake for a minute? Half an hour? He has no idea. The only concrete thing he can glean is that he definitely has a headache right now. Maybe even a migraine. He’s still not sure what the difference between those is supposed to be. Is it a ‘squares are rectangles, but rectangles aren’t squares’ sort of scenario? Or are they synonyms? Hmm. Maybe he should ask Dad, he’d probably know. In fact, where is Dad? And how’d he end up in bed in his pajamas, anyways?

He’s honestly relieved when he hears the unmistakable sound of Pearl’s light, precise footsteps climbing the stairs to his room, if only that it gives him a solid excuse to face reality and stop deluding himself with the tragic, unobtainable lie that is peaceful slumber. He lets his eyes flutter open again.

“Hi, Pearl,” he mumbles when she reaches the top step.

She’s carrying a small dinner tray with a steaming bowl of something delicious smelling (the broth he recognized earlier?) and a glass of water perched atop. Meeting his half-alert gaze, her expression lights up with a glow of pleasant surprise.

“Oh, good, you’re up!” she says, a great deal of the stress locked in her shoulders melting away as she crosses the room towards his bedside. “I was just about to wake you myself, if you weren’t already.”

Rubbing away the exhaustion crusted at the corners of his eyes with the joint at the base of his thumb, he watches as Pearl carefully places the tray on the nightstand at his right. With a groan, he bows upwards under his covers, the vertebrae in his back popping and sighing all the while as he stretches. Goodness, he’s not sure his spine has ever felt so stiff and tight. Remind him to never accidentally get hurled against a tree in combat again.

“How... how long was I out?” he asks then, the workaholic part of him already fearing her answer.

Pearl glances towards the ceiling, her brow creasing as she makes the calculation in her head.

“Hmm, I think... around seven hours?“

“What??” he cries, shooting upright in bed with the speed of a spring trap. “Seven hours?! That’s like, the whole day! I had plans!”

She frowns pensively, gesturing widely with her hands as she replies. “Steven, you were cracked and needed time to recover. A hit like that is bound to take a serious toll on any body, hard-light or not.”

His features morphing into a scowl, he slouches back against the wall. That’s a fair point, how disruptive cracks can be for full-Gems as well. It’s not just a matter of Pearl babying him. Even though they healed Amethyst’s fracture fairly quickly, years back, it still took her a few days of rest before she rose to the top of her game again. And as much as he’d love to deny it, right now his whole body honestly feels like it’s been hit head on by a truck at sixty miles per hour. It’s a dull but constant brand of pain he can’t claim he’s ever dealt with before all this mess. That month he shot up almost a foot in height back when he was 14 came close, but even that period of ache was more subtle than this.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says with a heavy sigh, threading his fingers together in his lap.

“Anyways,” she says gently, the reminder of her presence cutting through some of the layers of his pain-induced melancholy, “it’s 5:38 now, just in time for dinner! And I took the liberty of cooking a batch of your favorite soup.”

Unable to help himself, his inner child gasps in sheer joy. He sits up again, slamming his palms to his cheeks as he gushes with excitement. “Chicken and vegetable soup with the tiny star noodles??”

Any lingering crankiness about the percentage of the day wasted dissipates into a fine mist as Pearl picks the tray off the nightstand and passes it into his lap, confirming the identity of his homemade dinner. As he begins to eat— carefully, taking small spoonfuls at first to ensure that his stomach can handle it— his guardian sits at the edge of his bed and provides him updates on the rest of the family’s whereabouts. Apparently Garnet’s still halfway across the galaxy, but should be returning home tomorrow the moment she’s through with her mission. She sends her love, Pearl says. She also texted Connie to let her know what happened, and his friend plans to come over as soon as she can in the morning to spend time with him as he recovers. Meanwhile, Greg left a few minutes before he woke up to hit the store. He’s picking up some new food for the both of them, and intends to sleep downstairs on the couch the next few nights to keep tabs on him.

“He’s been really worried about you,” she admits, reaching out for his hand as if she too frets he might suddenly fade into the ether if she takes her eyes off him for one moment. “Before I told him to step out of the house for some mental rejuvenation, he never left your side.”

Steven responds to her tactile affection with a soft squeeze for her benefit, but quickly lets go to continue eating his soup.

“Well,” he says through a fresh spoonful of food, “‘m fine now, so...” Pause to swallow, the bump of his larynx bobbing in his throat. “So there’s no need to worry anymore.”

“Oh, if only it were that easy,” she comments, a melancholy smile framing her face.

With a sigh, she stands to her feet, smoothing out the edge of the covers where she once sat. Watching this small act, he suddenly wonders if her vast history with deeply troubling experiences like what she had to witness this morning are why she’s so emotionally drawn to tasks such as tidying and repairing; after all, these do allow her space to exert a small degree of control over areas of her life she might otherwise harbor concern or anxiety towards. Huh. He presses his lips into a tight line as he willfully contemplates this concept. Considering his earlier disappointment about how much daylight he’s wasted, (so many business and socialization meetings he’s missing in town today!), perhaps he inherited a portion of his own workaholic tendencies from emulating her throughout his childhood. He dares not follow this rabbit any further, however... dares not ask what he’s distracting himself from.

 Another time, Universe.

Brimming with a renewed sense of purpose, Pearl crosses towards the narrow patio outside the open slider door, her features returning to their neutral, observant state.

“In any case,” she continues as she rests her palm flat against the glass, “please do enjoy the rest of your meal! I’m going to fetch Amethyst from the observatory. She’s been, um... how to say... on Diamond pacifying duty these past few hours, and I’m sure she‘s desperate for a break.”

He offers a sharp grimace in response to this sentiment, knowing from almost two years of firsthand experience that patiently keeping watch over those Gem monarchs is no easy task. “Youch, my condolences. Feel free to send her in, I’d love to see her.”

Pearl nods in confirmation, and then slips out the doorway towards the observatory’s ramp.

He enjoys what little is left of his soup as he waits. Thankfully, his system shows no signs of unrest, which allows him to finish the whole bowl. Good thing, too. He unfortunately recalls losing his breakfast earlier this morning amidst the blunt force of that spiked tail to his stomach, which means he’s had little to no food in him all day. Now, he’s no medical expert, (Connie would likely know the answer thanks to her mom, though), but surely that can’t be good for recovery.

Amidst his better wishes, his thoughts turn to all the social meetings and appointments he’d planned for today. He can’t imagine Pearl knew his itinerary well enough to contact each and every person he’d unintentionally blown off, so that means from all of their perspectives they waited and waited and he simply... never showed up. Like Mayor Nanefua. He was supposed to discuss logistics about Little Homeschool’s eventual opening with her at town hall immediately after the corrupted Gem mission. Peridot. He agreed to meet with her at one of the ancient drop ship sites to assist in de-arming it for safety purposes. Lars. Before all this happened, he was genuinely looking forward to hanging out with Lars and the rest of his Gem gang this afternoon. And because he was reckless and got himself cracked on what should’ve been the most straightforward mission of all time, he let them all down. He groans, slumping backwards until his head clunks against the wall. Ughhh. Stupid, stupid Steven. Now, where on earth’s his phone? He should probably start to clear up this mess.

Steven places his empty bowl on the tray on his nightstand, and begins dutifully searching the tabletop. Before his search can bear any fruit, however, Amethyst bursts into the room, toting one of the handheld diamond communication lines they store in the observatory. (Blessedly, this one comes without self-destruct functionality. Times have sure changed since the daring days when Peridot emphatically called Yellow Diamond a clod.)

“Hey, little man!” she chimes when they meet each other’s glance, her relieved smile admittedly rather infectious. “It’s great to see ya’ up and at ‘em again.”

He offers a bashful laugh, twirling his finger around a short curl at the nape of his neck. “Y-yeah, I’m—“

“Yo, what’s this here, though?” she interjects, bee-lining to his nightstand to stick her nose in his dinner tray. Her face falls the moment she sees inside the bowl, which he’s dutifully scraped empty. “Dude, come on, you didn’t leave any for me?”

“What? Nooo,” he says in mock protest, his voice wavering in laughter. “I already ate it.”

Amethysts reaches forward and gives him a solid noogie, ruffling his hair until its ends are all mussed. Even though his head still hurts he can’t help but giggle, playfully batting her arms away. Hah, typical quartz sibling affection. Gotta love it.

“Nah, I’m just goofin’!” she grins. “You’ve lost enough food today on the forest floor, so I wouldn’t be stealin’ any even if I could.”

“Thank you for that reminder,” he comments with an eye roll, lips pursed as he tries not to muse too hard about the uncomfortable burning sensation associated with that abhorrent experience, least he vomit all over again.

Meanwhile, Amethyst’s high spirits finally hit their crest and begin to break like the distant din of white water waves offshore as she nervously tussles with the crystal octahedron clasped in her palm.

“But, ah... ignoring all that, Blue D said she wanted to talk to you?”

She presses the diamond line into his possession with fettered urgency, the posture of her hands vocalizing an unspoken, underlying message of “oh stars, I’m going insane babysitting these ancient Gem monarchs, please take this from me NOW.” Or at least, that’s what he gleans from it. To be fair, his months of near-constant interaction with them may make him a little biased on the subject.

“Probably best not to keep her waiting. We can catch up later,” she says, giving his fingers a quick squeeze before pulling away.

And with that she hurtles down the stairs into the main living area, ditching him within this empty room with the equivalent of an intergalactic phone that dials direct to who he can only describe as his honorary Gem grandparents. Sure, so maybe most Gems don’t have “children” in the same manner humans do, and maybe the Diamonds themselves have no clear understanding of the classification of human familial relationships, (despite their somewhat touching attempts at learning a few details about Earth culture for his sake), but the quasi-parental role they played in his mother’s life is undeniable from his perspective. So is their “out-of-touch” nature, a common stereotype he sees played up for drama with fictional grandparents on TV shows all the time. He’s not sure how he feels yet that this stereotype rings so true with his own.

Regardless, if Blue wants to talk, then there’s no time like the present. As much as he dreads it, this conversation is bound to happen eventually, of course— and after all their concern, the diamonds more than deserve an update on his well-being. Steven swallows hard, rhythmically tapping his fingers against the crystal as he summons the courage to dial, desperately attempting to not let the sour notes of their last interaction tint the underlying sentiment of this one before it can even begin.

Eventually, he sucks in a deep breath and activates the communicator. The octahedron glows a soft blue, and after a few seconds’ time during which the signal is crossing to the far edge of the galaxy, projects a view screen above its upper point.

The image is fuzzy at first, but sharpens fast once Blue connects from her end. She immediately smiles as she looks upon him, elated emotion running so deep within her that for once, it even manages to reach her eyes.

“Steven! I’m so glad to see that you’re okay,” she begins in full earnesty, clasping her hands together in front of her gem.

He doesn’t respond at first, finding himself too distracted by the scenery, and by the radical juxtaposition of Blue’s current demeanor to her behavior last night. Given the glimpse of White’s empty throne behind her shoulder, he’s pretty sure she’s sitting alone in the ballroom, the sight of which can’t help but stir up unwanted memories of the brief argument they had right before he rushed off to visit home, b-because... oh stars, he was right there, standing right in her presence when she reflexively forced her tears on him.

She wanted to throw him a massive planet-wide ball honoring his sixteenth birthday, wanted to organize a whole coalition of Gems to set up the venues, the entertainment, the food, everything— and when he finally managed to squeeze a word in edgewise between all her unfettered excitement to inform her that he wished to spend his birthday celebrating with his family on Earth instead, she was inconsolable. Crying. Raising her voice. Blaming him of running away from her just like Pink did all those years ago. In the heat of the moment he believed he was simply standing up for himself and his preferences, but fast forward to the present and he can’t help but question the etiquette of his own response more and more as the cruel minutes tick onward. Did he do the right thing, or did he only cause her undue emotional harm? Will Blue Diamond accept his stance moving forward, or will she press the topic again? (After all, he knows her desire to tether him to Homeworld for his birthday is merely a symptom of her greater longing for him to live in the palace with them permanently.) And if she does, is he even allowed to express his opinions when he’s outright walking a tightrope every day he’s in the public eye, single-handedly balancing Gemkind’s delicate political situation in both hands as he slowly but surely advances towards the light on the other side? He must be careful. One wrong move, and everything he’s been working towards for the past year could topple, could cause a disastrous vacuum.

No matter the personal cost, isn’t it his duty as savior of the galaxy to ensure that doesn’t happen?

Gems are depending on him.

And as much as he wants to be selfish and dig his heels into the ground to ensure his own comfort for once in his life, he’s not sure that’s even an option anymore.

Steven grips onto the edge of his bedspread with his free hand, clamping his fingers in tight, reveling in the sensation of skin shifting against downy fabric. It’s just enough to tether him back to the present. To ensure he doesn’t lose himself in the riptides of bitter memory. But by the time his scattered awareness clues in on the fact that he’s probably remained silent for an overly awkward period of time, it’s much too late, and in due consequence, he mentally returns to the scene to find that Blue has kept on talking with or without his conscious attention.

Hah. Serves him right, honestly.

“—was just explaining the details of the disastrous mission you embarked on today,” she says, making small gestures in embellishment of her soft-spoken words, “when your Pearl entered to announce you were awake. I’ll let the others know as soon as I can.”

He swallows, his throat hopelessly dry, as dry as the fine granules of sand scattered across the upper shore on an intensely hot summer’s day.

“I, um—“ he manages, voice wavering. (And quite honestly, feeling stupid for it, in her presence. How many months has he spent perfecting his technique for confidently speaking with the diamonds, again?) He adjusts his hold on the octahedral crystal as he vies to regain some sense of inner balance for the rest of this conversation. “So Yellow and White know too, then?”

Blue leans upon one of the armrests of her throne, releasing a weary sigh. It’s only then that he begins to take note of the residual anxiety blanketed across her form— the almost bruise-like shadows under her eyes appearing deeper than usual, her normally flawless hair now frizzy and unkempt— and if he’s honest, he struggles to understand how he truly feels, knowing that the news of his injury could affect her in such a soul-striking manner. (He often wonders if it’s fair of him, interacting with them in such a detached business-like fashion when, despite their intermittent shortcomings and confusions, they’ve offered him nothing but love and adoration in return since the beginning of era 3.)

“Oh, they were the first to know. Yellow answered the initial call, and White, she was hosting a court session with some of the fusion Gems just next door. I—“ She presses the pad of her thumb to the center facet of her gemstone, pausing in her words a moment to take a sharp inhale. “I only learnt about what nearly happened to you a fragment of a rotation ago, upon my return to the palace.”  

His brows furrow, suddenly realizing the fact that, beyond Blue, the throne room she sits in sounds desolate. Void of all Gems. “Where is everyone, anyways?”

“Distracting themselves, mostly. Last I heard, they’re busy trying to locate any of Pink’s essences that might still remain within our stores, just in case something like this should happen again. Of course I dread the very thought, but...”

Her voice wavers with just the hint of a sob, as she momentarily breaks from her explanation to regain her composure.

(Steven is ashamed to admit that he fails to mask the instinctual tightening of his shoulders as he sees fresh tears brim upon the digitized representation of her visage, even though logically he knows there’s no chance her influence could cross all these light years to weigh down on him here. Not on Earth. Not this far away.)

“...I couldn’t bear to lose another,” she manages, and— after dabbing those teardrops away with her curled fingers— glances back up to meet his gaze with those boundless, melancholy eyes. “You understand, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he says softly, chest growing tighter at the untimely reminder of his mom’s passing, an inseparable facet of his life history he still hasn’t managed to process yet. Perhaps subconscious in nature, his free hand creeps its way under his shirt to rest protectively over his gem. “No one deserves to go through that pain again.”

“Y’know, that’s why I really do wish you’d consider our offer to permanently live with us on Homeworld, in the safety of the palace,” she mentions then, clasping her hands together as if this were a dawning, glorious new idea Steven’s never heard before. “After all, I’m sure none of this would’ve happened under the protection of the guard.”

“Uh, I don’t thi—“

“Can you imagine it, all four diamonds finally reunited under the same stars?” Blue continues, a wide smile passing gracefully across her lips as she waxes on about this indulgent dream of hers. “We could grow you an orchard, so you have as much food as you need, and your pebbles could make you whatever clothes or luxuries you desire. And of course, there’s still the matter of your annual birth celebration to attend to...”

Steven can’t help it. He can’t manage to stop himself, no matter how pathetic he knows his reaction is.

In the light of this topic’s re-emergence, he zones out again. He slips directly into the welcoming embrace of inattention and subconscious thought. His head’s pounding, the pulsing discomfort birthing a brand new species of ache right behind his eyes. It’s miserable, but no more miserable than the idea of the future Blue Diamond has been continuously pushing for the last few months. No more miserable than the idea of being trapped on a planet with individuals who — no matter how hard they try and change their habits for his sake in the present— have all deeply hurt him at various stages of his life. And sure, he knows this is a twisted, selfish sentiment for him to harbor, because of how Pink abandoned them in the past, because of how all three of them have worked so tirelessly these past months to reorganize their entire way of life: to actually see him as his own person instead of a shadow of his mom, to healthily process their own emotions instead of tearing others down, to openly invite fusions and off-colors into the light of society. They’ve genuinely changed for the better. He should be overjoyed about that, shouldn’t he? He should be happy for them.

And yet joy is the last thing he feels when faced with the genuine possibility that he might not be strong enough in his own convictions to stand up to Blue’s desires, that he might one day find himself trapped long-term on a planet that— albeit picturesque in its own unique way— he doesn’t call home, his feet rooted to the dead soil by thorny vines born of his own timidness.

Somehow, in the face of all his fears, he swears he’s transforming into a coward.

He didn’t used to be. The Steven Universe of Era 2 wouldn’t dare stand down from making his opinions heard, would fight for what he believes in until star-shine glistens overhead and all denizens of the galaxy could experience true freedom.

So what the hell is his hang up now? He knows exactly how he wants to respond, so why can’t he simply summon the courage to do it? Why can’t this be as intuitive as summoning his shield, or a bubble?

Why does he have to feel so... so twisted up inside about this?

Steven clenches his teeth then, a sudden spike of residual pain arcing up his spine. Yikes, okay. That doesn’t feel great. Maybe he’s been sitting up for too long, and needs to lay down and rest again.

Or else, maybe after he’s finally done discussing matters with Blue he could...

Wait a minute.

The fingers of his free hand begin to knead the blanket in his lap with a new wave of gusto as he comes to an abrupt revelation about his present condition that could change literally everything.

Stars, that’s perfect. That’s not even a lie! Why on Earth didn’t he think of this before?

He was severely injured this morning. The gemstone at his core outright could’ve shattered, without treatment. Surely any fellow Gem would understand if he says he needs some extra time to fully recover? Perhaps even... the rest of the week? Including his birthday? And on top of that, this extra time would allow him all the privacy he needs to figure out how to confidently and politely decline Blue’s recurring request to live on Homeworld. He’d literally be hitting two targets with one shield!

He nibbles at the inside of his bottom lip as he considers how best to phrase this.

“Hey, Blue?” he calls, immediately garnering her full gaze. “Um—“

Although briefly squirming like an insecure child under those intense azure irises, he stamps down that devilishly tempting urge to go silent and recede into the shadows of this conversation again, wholly compliant to whatever she says. No, he has to speak his mind. No positive change in this relationship will ever occur unless he resolves to stand up for himself, no matter how many reminders it takes. His muscles grow tense as his mouth bobs open once again.

“About the whole birthday celebration thing, I, uh...”

His tongue grows excruciatingly dry in his anxiety, and he’s suddenly struck with the reminder that he never drank the water Pearl left on his dinner tray. Pity, that. He swallows, throat tight and scratchy, and continues.

“I think it’s very kind of you to offer hosting a ball for me on Homeworld, but as of right now, I... I’m very, very sore, and need to stay at my home for a few days to recover from my injury, okay? I promise I’ll visit in person as soon as I’m physically able to,” he rapidly blurts, recognizing a glint of hurt coat Blue’s otherwise attentive expression, “just... after my birthday.”

The diamond lets her weary eyes flutter shut as she takes a moment to soak in everything he just said. Honestly, he can’t think to guess what’s running through her mind right now, and he’s not sure he wants to. Eventually however, she offers an extended sigh, its watercolor edges brushed with an air of melancholy.

“I suppose you’re right,” she replies, offering him a watery smile. “We wouldn’t want to upset your fragile organic system so soon after such an ordeal, now would we? Very well, then. I’ll leave you to rest.”

“Thank you,” he says, his shoulders finally loosening up from their overwrought state.

“We can do something to celebrate when you’re back on Homeworld, just the four of us. In fact, I’ve been talking with White, and we have the perfect idea for a gift!”

Steven gives a small nervous laugh, fiddling with the back of his shirt collar. “Hahah, yeah? Well, I guess I’ll look forward to it. Anyways, uh... thanks for checking in. Bye.”

His heart still pounding despite the overwhelming sense of resolution, his thumb presses the bottom point of the octahedron inwards, ending the call. He gently sets aside the communicator on his nightstand, next to his empty soup bowl. Exhausted, both mentally and physically, he flops backwards on his bed with his arms stretched wide and gives a sharp, celebratory cackle of relief. He... he finally did it! He spoke his mind. He stood up to Blue’s headstrong desires, successfully reasserted his intentions. Set clear boundaries, just like Amethyst said he should. And as his reward, maybe now he can celebrate his birthday at home without guilt hanging like a weighty anvil over his head. Just maybe. He smiles, allowing his sore body to sink right into the plush cocoon of his mattress.

For the first time today, things are finally on the up-and-up.

And so that pattern continues through the rest of the evening. It’s not long after his call with Blue that his dad returns from the store, not even bothering to put the frozen and refrigerated foods in their proper temperature controlled places before bounding upstairs to check on him upon the call of his name. No amount of detailed description could ever hope to intimately capture the full spectrum of sheer elation and love Dad unloads on him in the precious minutes that follow, but by the end of it his father’s sobbing in his arms, exhausted tears staining the collar of his pajama shirt as they clutch to each other with iron clad grips. At this point, the only way Steven can hope to respond is to act as nothing more but a solid rock, if only to reassure him that he’s alive, he’s well, he’s here.

The two of them spend a good chunk of the remaining evening together, watching reruns of Under the Knife at the foot of his bed while nibbling on some cheddar popcorn. It’s rejuvenating, honestly. Stars, is it rejuvenating. Somehow it seems like an eternity since they’ve been able to just... live life together, even in the simplest of ways. They’ll share a dinner here and there when he visits home, sure— a video call from another planet every week or so, yes— but there’s something so fundamentally irreplaceable about physically leaning against your loved ones and spending a tangible amount of time with them that he’s sorely missed over his busy months as Era 3’s ambassador. It’s special. Something to cherish. And something he dearly hopes to engage in with his family and friends a lot more as his immediate duties with the Diamonds wind to a close.

At some point in the middle of their fourth episode, Steven finally finds his phone. It was in his jacket pocket, of course— the new pink wool one he left slung over his desk chair before leaving on the corrupted Gem recovery mission this morning. With that retrieved, he makes sure to text a quick update to all the friends he missed seeing today. Even though logic tells him getting cracked wasn’t entirely his fault, it’s hard to dodge the temptation of guilt. Thankfully though, with the rest of the week now scrubbed entirely free of Homeworld stuff, perhaps he can reschedule a few of these gatherings.  

The rest of his night is uneventful.

The Gems pop in and out to check on him, otherwise attending to their own obligations. Over the comforting backdrop of the television, Dad gushes about the concert he’s organized in town next week for Sadie Killer and the Suspects. Says he’s hopeful it’ll be a sellout. In return, he provides lush descriptions of some of the distant former colonies (now free planets) he’s gotten to visit as part of his political service. There’s some pretty stunning ones, he has to admit. The sightseeing he gets to engage in is a small but shining perk of his current responsibilities.

At ten, the TV is turned off. They hug and part ways, his dad quietly shuffling to the bathroom downstairs to brush his teeth and throw on a sleep shirt.

His headache is almost gone by now, having reduced to nothing more but a faint aura.

He’s standing outside on the porch enjoying some fresh, salty air before bed when Amethyst quietly slides into place alongside him, seeking his affection. She wraps her arms tight around his torso, burying her face against his shoulder. He reciprocates in kind. She doesn’t cry like Dad did, however. She doesn’t even speak. Rather, her purposeful silence ripples through his soul more than any concrete word or phrase ever could. Innately, he knows what she’s asking.

“I’m okay now,” he murmurs softly, blinking away his own budding tears while his expression is still hidden from her. “You healed me, I’m okay.”

“You’re a big liar, y’know that?” she says, voice muffled.

He rolls his eyes, pulling away from her embrace. “Fine, fine. I’m still a little sore. ‘Ya happy?”

Amethyst frowns, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger as she shifts her stance to lounge against the railing. “I’d be happier if none of that ever happened in the first place.”

Her frank statement hangs amidst the wind like a tattered flag upon an abandoned battlefield. Steven swallows, the resulting lump settling uneven in his throat.

(For a second he almost feels sick again, a surge of lingering discomfort churning at his core.)

“Yeah...” he sighs, staring off into the dim ocean horizon and forcing himself to acknowledge her unfortunate experience with this type of injury. “Yeah. I’m sorry if that brought back any bad memories for you.”

She scoffs. “Ch’yeah, so... I’m not gonna say it didn’t suck, but. It’s over now, y’know? I’ll deal. You don’t have to apologize for it, or anything.”

Long pause. His quartz sibling threads her fingers together as she leans against the chipping wood, silently tussling with herself under the ebbing solidarity of the ocean tides. A significant stretch of time passes between them before she finally takes it upon herself to speak again.

“‘S’not like it was your fault, anyways.”

His chest tightens upon recognition of that familiar self-blame inherent in her tone. If he were a stronger, better person, he might take it upon himself to chip away at the walls of that insecurity with love and reassurance, to be the kind, encouraging Steven he used to be. But he’s tired, and he’s lived long enough to acknowledge by now that perfectly formed words can’t fix everything. Not immediately, at least. People are complicated. He’s complicated. And sometimes the best one can manage is to simply act as a supportive companion to another.

Starlight glittering overhead, and the cool coastal breeze tussling at their hair, he joins Amethyst at the balcony and rests his cheek on her shoulder just like he used to do when he was little. Together, enveloped in a tension-filled silence, they watch the waves together. Watch the gulls pick at old food scraps further up shore, closer to the edge of the cliffs.

“Hey, what kind of gem was it, by the way?” he asks eventually. “You never said.”

“Ughhh,” she groans, dropping her head against the wood with a soft clunk. “A dang sapphire. Literally no wonder why she was so slippery!”

Steven can’t help the bubble of oddly placed glee that rises within him upon her answer. He cracks a dopey grin, shaking his head at himself. A snicker passes his lips.

A sapphire. Of course it was a sapphire. Gosh, isn’t that sweet, sweet vindication.

Her brow creases in confusion. “What?”

Perhaps finally cracking under months of accumulated stress, he breaks into peels of low laughter.

“What is it? Dude, ya’ gotta tell meeee!” she cries, playfully rustling at his arm as he doubles over against the railing, clutching his sides as he wrests to catch his breath and respond.

“No, it’s- it’s not even funny,” he says, pushing past the final surge and gaining some sense of composure again. “I just... my guess was spot-on. I’ve never seen a corrupted sapphire, before that.” His demeanor falls sober in a snap, wholly humbled by the abrupt reminder of the vital task waiting in his future, a task that— alongside the Diamonds’ bottled essences— only he can hope to see through. “I hope she’ll be okay, once she’s healed. I’m not even gonna mention what happened, honestly.”

Amethyst visibly pales at his allusion to the incident this morning. To ‘what happened.’ Hah. As if cushioning the truth in vague, non-specific language could at all erase the stark reality of what he went through. Sometimes he really is daft.

“Steven, I—“ she swallows hard, nibbling at her knuckles for a moment as she contemplates the greater details of whatever seems to be assailing her mind. “You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, okay? But... I have to at least ask. Do you, like... remember anything?”

He frowns, avoiding her direct gaze as he moves to lean against the balcony, overlooking the blustery shoreline.

“What, you mean about... everything after the fight? And at the, ah... at the fountain, yeah?”

Amethyst offers a hesitant nod, her eyes glossed with marked worry. Peering at the pinprick constellations above as he reflects on this question, Steven experimentally nudges scattered fragments of memory closer together, the seconds and minutes of that experience progressively locking into place until—

The world bends and splinters within his sight, his dad and Amethyst’s tear-stricken faces phasing into each other as they sink ever further into the thickets of their fearful despair. He’s prone in their hold, hard light pulsing rampant through his veins, unregulated, unrestrained, stretching out from his broken gemstone like clawing, yearning fingers... his muscles taut at one moment and pliable at the next, wholly unable to exert control over his body as his every limb jitters and jerks, unable to staunch his hoarse sobs as he soaks in the cold, terrifying static of it all, and now his words are jumbled and backwards, and deep within he knows this with an intense clarity but he can’t help it, he can’t fix it, he can barely even think, he ca—

Steven inhales evenly, purposefully not allowing his expression to flash even a minuscule micro-expression of residual fear. After all, it’s Era 3. Everyone’s supposed to find happiness and fulfillment now, which can’t happen when people are stuck dwelling on their shadowed past. Thus, Amethyst doesn’t need to be burdened with the knowledge of what he does or doesn’t know. That’s his problem to shoulder, his boulder to carry.

And he refuses to force anyone else to carry the weight of his past for him. He refuses to become like Blue, still stuck in a tempestuous pattern of pushing her emotions on everyone around her and making them feel like crap.

Perhaps it’s foolish, but he sorely wants to believe he’s better than her.

“Nope,” he says, feigning an unparalleled air of confidence as he shakes his head to confirm the negative. “Can’t remember a thing.”