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nihilistikal · 6 months ago

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𝟐𝟎 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Nine and counting! I do have the occasional scraps of WIPs stashed in various places, including my singular brain cell, but I usually only start publishing once they are fleshed out enough.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 110,204 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Resident Evil and Final Fantasy for the most part. I am working on a draft for a Dune fic as well, but due to my shifted writing time, which is sadly not much presently, I put it on hold in favor of continuing my re fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Unquiet Grave (Resident Evil) | @virologikal

The Darker the Weather, The Better The Man (Final Fantasy VIII)

Fallacy (Final Fantasy VIII)

Day 1 - A White Lie (Final Fantasy XV)

Obsession (Final Fantasy VIII)

5. Do you respond to comments? Absolutely! I try to do so in a timely fashion, sometimes it does take me a while though, especially when I'm busy doing other things and not checking in on my AO3. I am deeply humbled whenever someone takes some time out of their day to leave some words (or even compliments!) on my fics and it means a lot to me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ...is this a bad time to menion I haven't really finished a fic before? x'D I mean, aside from my one shots of course. I have a penchant for working on massive ideas that take forever to write, so yeah. Anyroad though, the answer currently would be a hard tie between either The Price of Perfection (Resident Evil) or Love me whole (Final Fantasy VIII). The first is a glimpse at Wesker's life from birth to death, the second is a songfic based off of Missio's Love me whole, and focuses on a toxic interpretation of Squall and Seifer's ... "relationship".

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Day 2 - Festivities (Final Fantasy XV), easily. It was part of a series for an event or somesuch a couple years ago and focused on more casual themes (which I admittedly usually don't tackle).

8. Do you get hate on fics? Thankfully no.

9. Do you write smut? Big yes to that. I actually love writing intricate smut, which I did for Final Fantasy VIII without much story or context. I should get back on that for Resident Evil and Dune at some point (not everything has to be a novel Nihil, gdi.....) But admittedly, I enjoy when there is some set up around the actual smut just as much. It can be an amazing vehicle to convey character development, power dynamics, show trust or the loss thereof... I am a fan hahah.

10. Do you write crossovers? I did write crossovers in rp, so I think technically I could. But in fanfic, I personally don't really see the need to as I prefer to take the canon lore and expand on it, see how many headcanons I can make work with the actual lore so it fits seamlessly as if it was intended to be there. I do enjoy reading the occasional crossover though!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet, no. I am comfortable writing in English, despite German being my mother language, and honestly I don't think I could properly translate certain things into German without it sounding weird/cringe.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope! I could imagine doing that if I ever get my time schedule sorted. And I actually had plans to do a co-written fic with a friend ( looking at you, Bee :p ) but alas, time. I do sometimes help people brainstorm some fic ideas though if that counts^^

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Almahart (Squall Leonhart & Seifer Almasy), and of course Chrisker (Chris Redfield & Albert Wesker). Something about the blond bad guys and the brunet heroes ig °^^ With Almahart it's the tragedy binding the two together, the fact that Squall became everything Seifer wanted to be (without Squall even really trying/wanting it!), the resentment and rivalry that only barely manages to conceil the real feelings. I like them both as a ship that solves their hardships eventually, and as a toxic ship with Seifer never redeeming himself and not wanting to, either. As for Chrisker, it's a similar streak but darker, more violent, with a lot of psychological warfare included. The hardest thing is to convey Wesker's machinations and how he views the world (according to my interpretation) because I write him as extremely closed off, keeping to himself even with his facial expressions. It's a challenge to portray him correctly and I like it a lot. I love the tangle the both of them are in, how Chris wants to hate Wes so much for all he has done, while simultaneously being unable to let go, even decades later. There is desperation, hatred, blood, passion, everything I love in a ship.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I am absolutely convinced I will finish both my Resident Evil project (which will consist of multiple one shots, The Unquiet Grave, as well as a sidestory to it focusing on HUNK), as well as The Darker the Weather, The Better the Man. What I will say though is that I am also certain it will take a long ass while. Both are huge and complex stories, so building them up and telling them correctly is time consuming, and oftentimes real life gets in the way, sadly. I hope the people who were excited about The Darker the Weather will have patience with me.

16. What are your writing strengths? I want to say my high standards when it comes to fleshing out characters, finding their voice and writing their perspective. It's at least something I get a lot of compliments for, so I seem to be doing something right ^^ Also, I am very thorough when it comes to canon. I try to keep everything in mind and weave my story into the existing lore and world as seamlessly as possible. For The Unquiet Grave I took a whole day to collect all possible information about the entire Resident Evil Timeline (it spans from 1909 to 2037), which I regularly consult while I am writing to make sure I have events lined up properly.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I definitely question myself too much. As in, if the quality I am providing is good enough; if the characters are OOC, things like that. It's my perfectionism getting in the way of things. Generally I have a bad habit on putting too much unneccessary pressure on myself (publish within a certain time, write a certain amount of words, etc.) - silly, really.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Ohhh yeah I love that! I don't use this enough and definitely should. (needless to say but it should not be too much untranslated content of course, and made available for the readers in some way so they know what is being said)

19. First fandom you wrote for? I believe my very first fic was Ville Valo x Lauri Ylönen, don't hit me for writing smut about real life people please xD I was young! Aside from that, Final Fantasy VIII or Angel Sanctuary, not sure anymore (I am rather certain it was FFVIII though because I have always been obsessed with it)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Urgh this is hard.... Given how much my writing has improved and how I learned to apply certain tools (like drafting properly etc), I'd have to say The Unquiet Grave. Since I am not writing in my first language, the time I practised between this and The Darker the Weather definitely had a positive impact.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘: @judasiskariot (thanks again!) 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆: @sauron-kraut . @no-bee (if you like ofc) - any everyone who would like to do this, feel free to steal!

#this was fun!#I rarely get to ramble about my fics bc I am not mutuals with many writers so AYYY

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johntayjinf · 1 year ago

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just some general rambling because i honestly think i need it since i'm finding myself complaining about the small things more than ever, so this is a good time to sit myself down and type away with no direction whatsoever. tumblr is the perfect place for this since, well, it is a blog site anyway...

i am an arranger first and foremost (simply because i've doing remixes and arrangements for as long as i can remember, i'm practically self-taught) so i really care about instrumentation and arranging because the arrangement of a composition makes all the difference to me.

ik it's completely subjective but still, i think i'm pretty confident in my arranging skills, and a lot can agree with the sentiment.

been doing this for 3~4 years now so i've built up quite the experience, despite using various composers' various musical styles. but honestly, can you blame me? i've been studying, utilizing, experimenting, and occasionally even doing song recreations just to get ahold of composers' styles better to then slowly build my own.

one person on twitter told me that this would be a terrible idea to do, i guess in the fear of me not being completely original, but let's not kid ourselves when we at least take inspirations from other artists and adapt them into our personal work. in a (crude) way, it feels like a circlejerk (for the lack of a better term)... but i think that's the fun of being in the art community.

personally i believe that no true originality exists, especially nowadays when music has come such a long way, so the best we can do is to simply make music that is convincingly original. i'm a very melodic kind of arranger/ composer so i usually prioritize that; and it is very, veeeery hard to come up with a good original melody. coming up with things from scratch is indeed very hard, so i applaud composers of the past for achieving what they did for music in general.

there was this video floating around my youtube feed from adam neely i think, with a video titled something among the lines of, "this usb drive has 3 million melodies", and from what i remember watching it years ago, this was about a lawyer talking about copyright law with music and the legalities surrounding melodies in music, i think specifically - pop music.

regardless though, despite it being personal opinion, i think people need to understand that 1) writing music in general is deceptively easy to do but as all art is, takes time and effort and 2) artists are allowed to build off their own style based on various sources and self-interpretation.

note that all this talk comes from a self-taught musician, different people will have different opinions and professional musicians might actually give more insight on this than i will. though. i think i've wasted my 40~ minutes very well on an essay no one would ever read. off to writing for s&k alternate ig

#music talk #self taught artist #this essay will get 4 robux #how about we have a discussion #john tay talks

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ninacarstairss · 1 year ago

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same here 😭😭😭 my little life update is that i’m literally dead because we are understaffed at work so i’m basically spending more time there than at home or anywhere else. i don’t know what kind of absolute shit luck we have in there but all the people we’ve hired have lasted for about a week or decided to not even come in the first day. so yeah, work will be our death. yay. it’s so unfair 😭😭 i need to reblog posts and talk to people and post nonsense too. i need to lay in my bed surrounded by scented candles and simba and be on tumblr. i miss you and it’s so unfair that adulthood is keeping us apart

okay i’m gonna need to see some of those bereals 😂 i need to see the amazing bookshelf!!! you know i’m the first fan of your amazing bookshelf!! i have good news tho!!! casey mcquiston got me out of the reading slump again!!!! i finally read i kissed shara wheeler and oh my fucking god!!!! i loved it so much!!! honestly, i was a little afraid because it was YA and i was so used to something different from them so i postponed the reading until now, and i’m so mad at myself that i did!! god i love how you can recognise their writing, some lines and ways of saying, it’s so casey and it’s amazing!! also chloe, shara, rory and smith are my babies and i love them with my whole soul. i ended up in tears once again. have you read it??

oh god i really miss fanfics 🥺 i haven’t read one in so long. and honestly i hate it when i want to read but i can’t and i end up spending hours dumbscrolling on ig or tiktok. it feels like wasted time i could have spent reading, but my brain just can’t work.

oh i love the description of “my first alice oseman” it’s such a comfy idea. i will read it soon and let you know <3

yayy!!! how long are you staying abroad then?? when would the semester start?? god i can’t wait to hear all about that!!! (are you excited for the cold part or for the birthday part?? 😂 i think i know the answer but still)

OH MY GOD!!!! NERO I AM SCREAMING!!! THAT IS PERFECT AND AMAZING!!! oh my god i cannot wait to see how it turns out!!! i love the idea of the hands like that and the chain with the key and ring— that’s always been my biggest weakness, the way alex slides the ring next to the key and thinks about two homes side by side 😭😭😭 it will be such a perfect tattoo!!! also :))) a little idea for henry’s tattoo?? :)))))

yeah :,( i always forget that it actually takes time to get a tattoo done, so i can’t get like fifteen in one day 😂😂 i was planning six past time i went, and four of them were writings, but two of them were pictures that needed shading and a lot of work so like, it makes sense i couldn’t make it 😂 but still i finally got to have my radio silence quote and my green carnation!!! i’ve been waiting so long to get them 🥺

WHAT???? okay what uni is this?? can i join?? when do we start?? nero this class is gonna be amazing. and a big hug to whoever the teacher is because they chose heartstopper so i love them unconditionally. i’m so happy you found this class!!! i know you’re gonna love it so much and i can’t wait to hear all about it!!! i hate it when they have these mind numbingly boring lit classes because lit can be so amazing, but if you’re just stuck in the past and in the same interpretation of the same text it’s just pointless. glad you dropped it for your own sake

i have something to share on that front!! i finally got a permanent contract!!! i mean i’m not staying in that shop forever (obviously, you’ve heard all of my complaints lol) but still this is gonna mean a steady income for a little longer and a way of saving up!!! but also, i had to celebrate, so i got myself a trip to paris!!! i’m gonna go have my heartstopper vacation and i mean that literally. i am planning to visit the exact same places and get an ice cream on the steps of the sacre coeur, i am planning to see that bust of dalida tara and darcy get pics with, i am even planning to take the stairs up to the eiffel tower. i know, i am gonna die but i’m committed 😂 i’ve seen paris a few times already but i’m gonna see it in a whole new light now. last time i went i was with my high school so i have some horrible memories of that trip. also, we’re doing disneyland and versailles!!! because i just had to do disneyland, i’m 5 years old inside

yes you definitely should :D

oh heartstopper colouring books <3 another thing to heal our inner child. i don’t know about you but this was right next to my sticker anxiety, i could never colour a book because it felt like ruining it 😂 anyways i’m making us some biscoff cheesecake (yes i tried a recipe, it’s perfect) and biscoff latte in perfect autumn style <333

hello nero my beloved soulmate!!!

i have pride stories!!! i went to pride this saturday and it was so much fun i need to tell you all about it!!!

well first of all i really hate that i had to work in the morning because it made me so tired and it was the first weekend of sales so yea, not fun. but anyway, my friend picked me up at 3pm and we got to florence. we had to park pretty far from the meeting point and then take a bus, and it was amazing because we were totally lost looking for that bus and at some point we see a bus full of people with rainbow flags, glitter, signs, flower crowns, rainbow stickers and temporary tattoos and all of that. and we just went in, no questions asked. we just figured we’d follow them out of the bus too 😂 i love our people honestly. we were so colorful

anyway we got to the meeting point and it was deadly hot. i swear there were like 45 degrees. but it was so amazing to be around all of those people dressed in all colors and wearing all sorts of things we’d usually be judged for, it felt so safe. except that there was a religious protestor so we got to give him the finger like the heartstopper cast did :)

also my sister came with me. she’s always so supportive and it meant the world that she came with me. anyway the parade started and there were some amazing floats. there were rainbow families, drag queens, all the lgbtqia+ associations from our territory and we started walking behind this float that had amazing music, so we started dancing and singing and it was so much fun!!! we got to talking with some people, there were some amazing signs that were just perfect and i had to go there and tell them how much i loved them :) it was just so fun, i loved meeting random people and it was just the perfect environment. at night there was also a dj set and a band singing to keep the show going!!

then when we were walking back to the bus stop at night we got the whiplash of not being surrounded by queer people anymore. we got catcalled like fifteen times in the span of three minutes. i kinda wanted to punch everyone because we had such a perfect day and i hated that we had to go back to the real world where people are shit 🥲

but still i got so many amazing memories and now all i want to do is book a flight to london for next year and have you come with me so we can celebrate together and see the heartstopper cast!!!!

also, i got a new tattoo yesterday!! and i actually had red white and royal blue with me to distract me so i almost finished the book again and cried in from of my tattoo artist lol it took me the whole day again and it was so painful but so worth it!!! i got medusa on my leg 😻

also, as to our previous letter i just wanted to say that of course i believed in you!!!! i knew you could do it!! but i can definitely believe you had to close your eyes to open that message 😂 getting grades back is always so stressful!! now manifesting a spot for the exchange 🕯️🕯️🕯️ i really hope you get it!!! it’s an amazing experience, you’d definitely love it!!!

and i’m really glad you found someone who specialises in what you need. it can take a while to find the right therapist but i hope this one works out!!

(i’m also writing down sydney and melbourne for when i’m rich enough to visit 😂 i literally booked a flight for august and my bank account kinda yelled at me to stop spending money i don’t have lol)

anyways i’m really sorry i’ve been away for so long, i had a crazy week between the beginning of seasonal sales, pride and the tattoo appointment. i kinda didn’t have time to do anything 🥲

i’m giving you a hug and some homemade chocolate chip cookies with biscoff cream on top <33

hello cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

oh my god i've been so excited to hear about this!!!

that sucks you had to go to work, boo!!! but at least you were off early enough to still go to pride!!!! and how cool that you got to share the experience of going on the bus with all the queer people!! i bet there was no straight and/or cis people on that bus 😂😂😂 just follow the rainbow!!

hot days are the worst, but pride would have made it so much better. i would not be focused on how sweaty i was or the temperature with the amount of queer joy happening around me! it's so wonderful that in a parade full of people and colour that you were able to feel so incredibly safe, and it would have been such an intimate moment for you! and fuck that religious protestor, i'm so glad you gave him the finger. the heartstopper cast would be so proud of you :')

oh that warms my heart that your sister came!!! that was so nice of her to come with you!! the floats sound amazing, and the singing and dancing!!! i am feeling some of the joy through my screen!! seriously, cece, this sounds like the most incredible time. i want to cry just thinking about you having so much fun with your friend and your sister, celebrating your queerness and talking to new people and singing and dancing like there's no one else around 🥲🥲🥲

the trip home must have been so dull in comparison! and how dare those people catcall you, i hope you gave them the same treatment as that religious protestor because seriously what the fuck.

the only thing that matters now is that you had a safe and wonderful time at pride and you can cherish those memories for the rest of your life! and yes, we must do it!! i will literally stay for an extra month just to go to pride in london with you <3

oh my god yay!!! i bet the medusa tattoo looks so cool! and yes reading rwrb while getting tattooed is properly not your best idea, but i'm already rereading rwrb any chance i get to annotate it fully before the movie so i can't say much 😂

okay, cece, i must let you know, because i said to myself i would let you know as soon as i could. but this morning, i woke up (quite late actually). i checked my watch for my notifications. i see an email waiting for me. i die a little inside realising it is from the exchange team at my university. i run out to grab my phone from where i charge it. i speed past my mum. i unlock my phone. i open my email and click on the newest one. and.... I GOT A SPOT EARLY!!! AT MY FIRST UNIVERSITY TOO!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? i'm still in so much shock and i thank you for your manifesting and belief in me!!! oh my god i have so much to do before then (mostly saving money ngl 😂) but oh my god cece, i'm going to england for exchange!!!!!!

me too!! i just need to find the time to get a referral, so i can go and see them!!

(literally sydney and melbourne are lowkey expensive, but it is totally worth it!! and i would be more than happy to tell you where to go and where to stay! <3)

do not apologise!!! we are all busy! i am literally working the equivalent of a full time job over the next two weeks and i'm also dogsitting over the weekend :') pray for my poor soul.

i'm giving you the biggest hug i hope contains the same warmth as pride and i'm fighting off your customers so you can have a few moments to breathe <3333

#i miss you so so much lately #life should be kinder to us #we deserve more time to chat and be silly together 😭😭#<3333

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anniteslifine · 3 years ago

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oh wow, writing? that’s pretty funky

Randomly had this idea and procrastinated on it for a week as you do

Basically some Firey and Coiny stuff, i tried to write it where it could be perceived as platonic or romantic

This is my first time writing these character in canon (somewhat), so apologies if they seem off!

“Like, if she wanted it, she could’ve told me, y’know?”

Coiny laughed, pushing more weight onto the tree he was leaning on. Pin was standing in front and a bit off to the left of him, a wide smile on her face, with Needle sitting down on the soft grass beside her.

The three had been chatting for quite a while now. Coiny had honestly lost track of the time. It had been great to throw aside the responsibilities of challenges and being a good leader for a while, and just spend time with his friends.

“Yeah, cause, like- I would’ve…”

Pin’s voice faded away as he zoned out a bit, thinking back to those years when they were younger, when he did a bunch of stupid things and got into a bunch of stupid fights with-

A flicker of movement in his peripheral caught his attention, and he pushed off from the tree, turning to see.

Firey.

He glanced over at Needle and Pin. “Hey, I’ll be back in a sec.”

They blinked over at him, before he turned his back and started making his way over to Firey.

As he approached, he heard something.

Slowing his pace, Coiny listened more intently, head tilted slightly.

Was that… crying?

Concerned, he changed his entire stance, crouching down a bit as he closed the space between them, keeping his footsteps quiet.

Firey was hugging himself, huddled down on the ground as he stared at his feet. Quiet hiccups shook his shoulders.

Coiny listened for a moment, struggling to figure out what to do.

He decided on the two things he knew best. Being a jerk and being a friend.

“Hey, idiot.”

Firey startled and turned to look at him, sniffling and wiping his eyes. “Wha..?”

“What’s up with you, all sad and pitiful over here?” He scuffed the ground with his foot, hands behind his back.

“I-“ Firey averted his gaze. “Nothing.”

“Oh, come on. I know you wouldn’t sulk over ‘nothing.’ Tell me.” Coiny’s tone was sharp, but he tried to put a bit of tenderness into it.

“Just-..” He wiped his eyes again, likely to keep the tears from spilling and hurting him. “I dunno. Stuff with Leafy and all that.” He halfheartedly waved his hand. “It’s nothing, really. I- I’m fine.” Voice cracking, a manic smile flickered across his face before he slumped over, shoving his palms into his eyes.

He looked so distressed. Nothing that Coiny had seen has made Firey act like this. Not even him.

Coiny blinked. “Well…”

The flame looked up at him again, arms dropping down.

Coiny extended his hand.

“Why don’t you… come hang out with me? And the others, of course.” He jerked his head over his shoulder, where Pin and Needle were still chatting a bit away.

Clearing his throat, he shrugged. “Only if you want to, of course.” I need to stop saying ‘of course.’

Firey inspected his hand for a moment, unsure.

Hesitantly, he reached up and took Coiny’s hand.

He pulled him up to his feet, where their gazes locked for a millisecond, before Firey pulled his hand back and averted his eyes. “Th-thanks.”

“No problem. Are you coming?” Coiny stepped back, in the direction of the rest of the group.

“Yeah.” Firey rubbed his eyes. “Sure.”

The two started heading back, Coiny forcing himself not to smile.

#honestly have no idea when this would take place so that’s up to interpretation ig #bfb firey #bfb coiny #bfdi firey #bfdi coiny #bfb #bfdi #fireoiny

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probably-haven · 3 years ago

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Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should.

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can. Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it.

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows.

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over-

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings. I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is.

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other- Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action.

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways.

-Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though.

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips.

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself.

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt. - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing.

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth. - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced.

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that.

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead.

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

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pharahsgf · 3 years ago

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i was reading a fic that was pretty good but it had jyl and jc find out about the core transfer and that's always such a gamble. like it's so popular to have jyl go girlboss over her lack of agency...at wwx, who is horrifically traumatized and literally not in control of his mental faculties, not to mention is selfless to a painfully unhealthy degree. like the fic i just read had her getting angry that wwx "sent her away" to do the core transfer and how victimized both she and jc were by wwx's choice. ironically, the essential core of the argument that jc (and jyl? ig?) is a victim of the core transfer not only relies on the idea that jc was healed (like literally HEALED) without his consent but that it's only so bad because he accepted it without knowing the pain wwx would go through to pull it off. you'd think then that people wouldn't try to ignore the pain wwx went through, the huge cost he paid, but they do. the whole point of this rose tinted view of jc's anger about the core transfer is that he supposedly cares that wwx suffered in his place. without even getting INTO how like, demonstrably false that is; somehow this means that jc actually suffered More and somehow has this right to act like a fool, where wwx is a demon for having understandable trauma responses that never ever intentionally/maliciously hurt his loved ones (unlike jc who copes BY hurting people on purpose). tbh i don't get why it's popular now to pretend like it's revolutionary to have the mentally ill characters get berated for their self destructive behavior by other characters instead of being treated with empathy. and what's with this trend of other characters getting so smug and dismissive about another character confronting their issues or getting treatment like "oh you finally got your shit together?" or getting mad that a character is "wallowing in self pity" like the stigma against mentally ill and disordered people is so present despite it also being romanticized in the worst ways.

cut for length!

i think one thing people miss when trying to justify jiang cheng's anger over the core transfer is that jiang cheng wasn't... actually angry about the core transfer? his outrage was explicitly tied to the idea that wei wuxian managed to justify the behaviour / pay off the debts jiang cheng spent years hatefully obsessing over. he never says how dare you do this to me, i didn't want this, i never wanted you to do this; he says why can't i hate you, do you think this is enough to repay me, etc etc. he's angry not because wei wuxian harmed him, but because wei wuxian helped him. wei wuxian has retroactively invalidated the reason jiang cheng has been stewing in anger and hunting people down for years, and he can't deal with it. that's the source of his turmoil.

as a result, in a scenario where jiang yanli and jiang cheng figure it out before wei wuxian even dies... neither of them has a reason to consider it a bad thing. like at all. you could take the 'i can't believe wei wuxian would do this to himself!' route but jiang cheng... honestly doesn't seem to care much about wei wuxian's suffering, and while jiang yanli would be horrified she'd know to approach it with compassion instead of frustration. if anything, she'd be frustrated with herself for not noticing what he was up to.

imo most fic where jiang yanli blames wei wuxian for the core transfer reads like the author is using her as a mouthpiece to validate their own interpretation, or just assumes that because jiang yanli is Perfect and Sensible she must share the Perfect and Sensible opinion that jiang cheng is a victim of Getting Exactly What He Asked For... But Non-Consensually! because lbr there is no way jiang yanli would view self-sacrifice as a negative, given that the one thing she did with agency is. you know. sacrifice herself. for someone who she must've known would struggle with it, but who she loved too much to let die.

i wholly agree w you about the trend of characters displaying self-destructive behaviour being met with the least compassion possible. omg. this is so clear with wei wuxian too; he goes through insane levels of trauma, most of which has lasting mental or physical consequences, for the sake of justice or saving his loved ones, yet fans rankle at the thought of treating him with any empathy and instead punish him even further by having other characters hate him for daring to help them. how is that going to do anything but make him more miserable? why are we abandoning kindness?

#replies #anonymous #ofc lwj is always kind & patient towards wwx but even then it's usually framed as indulgence #rather than him. giving a shit about his husband

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seoafin · 4 years ago

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tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be 😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

#honestly I don't have high hopes unfortunately 😭#but who knows I might be...pleasantly surprised #idk I don't have high hopes in manga nowadays so hmmm #anyway as always I enjoy ur thoughts <3 ❤️❤️#hope ur doing well!!!#and getting all those genshin impact goodies #🐱 anon #long post

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rurifangirl · 3 years ago

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ayy i finally woke up, so have oc asks💃

Kayn's opinion of higheals? would he ever wear them? if so, what kind of heals would he wear?

if Syndra could dropkick onw person, who would it be👀

would Rui or would they not try to choke me to death for eatin their gems askin for no reason👁

why did ya give Lyva such pink vibe👁👁 i luv her she's a fave

Shou's opinion on this lil shit

does Qiran hate anyone? like trully hate? is it justified from Qiran's pov?

Naexi's opinion on this fuck. specifically.

Evelyn's opinion on gore👀

Hakdkskk bestie now I understood shit so Imma reply Ig🙄/j

Kayn

Ahkeosk If anything he kinda likes them. Like probably wouldn't wear those but that's more because of uh, bitch Is a tree n if he ain't gettin help he's gonna trip with them 😭😭 And I'm sure that since some members of the gang still wear em he'd still find them aesthetically pleasin. I feel like rather than buyin em for himself he'd probably give his opinion on which are the cutest onto others tbh. All I'm seeing Is him helpinh out 7/Ruri w choosing them and being the himbo he is

Syndra

Ywjekdk surprisingly so not really anyone that Is currently alive I mean other than ti annoy someone she doesn't really have anyone in particular. For It so much time passed that even if she still holds grudges it's usless for it to get mad at them, since she was the one to do many, shitty and questionable things during its life.

If she could get back it would absolutely kick the shit outta of someone, but they're still not introduced so imma leave this ask with some sort of interpretation.

👁️👁️

Rui-

Yes. 100%. No question asked 😭😭 Why would ya even steal em from them, ya wanna get killed or somethin? Know your place you swine 🙄/j

Agdjkskw on a serious note they're extremely attached to their gems and would do anything to prevent them getting touched/stolen/broken, even going after you till the day you die (/hj)

They'd even change paths if that meant the safety of their gems tbh

Lyva-

Bestie i have no idea but sameee 😭😭 Even tho she ain't my fav she's one of em, but good news Is that Myst (my upcoming oc that idk when to upload honestly) Is gonna be kinda important for everyone and specifically Lyva, so you'll prolly get more content of them 😍

and also because i want to make more content id die for them too

Shou-

"What in the lord- Qiran, are you even sure it's my ask? ...You didn't get mixed up? Very well then. I have no knowledge nor want to know what that thing Is, rather than you shall keep It the more distant from me, if that is not a difficult task. Thank you in advance. :)"

Qiran-

HOHOHOHOHOIHOO YES THEY DO.

Remember when I said that they lost their friends because of something? Well let's just say that they didn't lose em because of natural causes, rather than something had brutally killed them.

Now I initially intended to make this one of the main members of the Cult, as they do have their reasons to take them down (Alias some of Qiran's friends knew too much), but now I'm kinda torn whether to make that another own character or not.

Or even giving the fault to some character I've already mentioned that Is kinda tied to Qiran too👁️👁️ (yes im now having doubts whether to make that a group of people or shous dad yes im serious).

But either way, they not only resent them BUT THEY ALSO resent their older brother, which again Is the other oc I gotta introduce, but everything Is gonna be explained better in his own post👀.

Naexi-

"what a... wonderful creature! is it tied to any human practice or tradition? it seems like a fun way to seek for comfort too, I suppose? thank you for showing me this :>."

Evelyn-

"Man that shit's nasty, I 'on like it and thinkin bout that makes me wanna curl up onto Naexis carpet or somethin n 'ucking vomit, and Shoe bein fuckin disgustin in their other shitty form ain't helpin 🙄 Damnin Weirdos" ( They actually care but are too much of a prideful bitch to admit It)

Tags undercut:

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @damnfoxx @dopesaladlady @audre-falrose @nadi-117

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powerosewaterpuff · 4 years ago

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I KINDA SORTA RAN TO TUMBLR BC I HAD AN IDEA TO ADD TO MY REVERSE ROBIN AU AND FUCKKKK WHY I DO THIS TO MYSELF? ILL NEVER KNOW BUT AM I UPSET THO? NOT REALLY SO UH THIS IS A LITTLE HEADCANON/IDEA OF BRUCE AND ROBIN (DICK) GOING OUT, BRUCE GETTING HIT BY FEAR TOXIN AND IS SEEING JASON EVERYWHERE AND DICK HAS TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT SO Y E A H

it had been a reasonably quiet night, suspiciously quiet really when bruce looked back on it, but hindsight is 20/20. that didn’t really stop him from blaming himself.

he had repeatedly asked dick to go back home, that he wasn’t needed tonight (really it was the encapsulating fear that was gnawing at his heart, he could not afford to lose another son, he didn’t even know if he could make it after this loss)

dick had interpreted that as go home, you’re going to be deadweight on my mission. this, of course, sparked his famous temper that could only be rivaled by jason, and even then alfred was the only one who could properly tame dick when he was riled up in anger. so, the young vigilante stubbornly refused, stomping his feet onto the ground and staring right up at bruce. a determined glare that would’ve made anyone besides bruce or alfred back down immediately, but even bruce had to admit, it was going to be a lot more work having to deal with dick stubbornly refusing his orders, than it was if he let dick follow along safely, and it was a quiet night anyways.

it wasn’t a quiet night. and bruce had ended up resisting a full spray of fear toxin long enough to detain the criminals and sprint off into an alley. his eyes were squeezed shut, because everywhere he looked he saw a little ghost. bloody, mangled and bruised with a shreded black costume, reaching out to him and asking, “why.” shutting his eyes didn’t exactly stop him from hearing his sons little voice all around him, whywhywhywhyhelpmehelpmehelpmehelpmelookatmelookatmedadpleasedad

dick had blamed himself. after hastily explaining the situation to commissioner gordon he took off. swinging around the city trying to find out where bruce had went. his mind was screaming, asking how stupid he had been to let bruce take the spray for him. his whole point of being out here was to protect bruce, before he self-immolated on his pyre of self-loathing. he then managed to find bruce curled up at the end of a twisted alley.

slowly approaching, dick could hear bruce’s heavy breathing, shuddering with every heave of his lungs. he managed to get close enough to sit in front of him, and whisper, “bruce, can you hear me?”

that had been his first mistake, as bruce’s lens on the cowl blasted open and he backed up even farther away, pushing off from his leg and whispering something. dick could feel his stomach plummet as he swore he could hear bruce muttering, “jason.”

he swallowed the ball of tears climbing up to his throat. he would not cry, because he was not a child. bruce needed him, and he would always be there for him. he tried again, “bruce, i-it’s me. it’s dick, alright?

he knew better then to take off his domino but maybe it would bring bruce some comfort to see blue eyes rather then the green ones haunting his vision. he slowly ripped his domino off, approaching bruce yet again. he promised bruce he wasn’t going to hurt him, he was just sitting. just sitting. he knew better then to startle bruce when under fear toxin, that had been a lesson jason had shown him before, on the rare occasion bruce hadn’t been able to resist long enough for an antidote. it made dick’s eyes burn with unshed tears yet again, because he wasn’t jason. he couldn’t be jason, but that was okay (was it) because he was still going to get bruce out of this.

he sat in front of bruce, crossing his legs and stretching out his hands with his palms up, “see? i’m real, bruce. take my hand and you’ll see, i promise it’s just me. it’s dick, no-not jason, okay? here, take my hand and try.”

he waits a bit, but he stays still. he waits for bruce whose breathing heavily and darting his eyes around, tracking an invisible being dick couldn’t see. his vision then falls on dick, who gives a soft smile and keeps his hands out, stretching them towards bruce more, as an invitation.

it was a swift movement, as bruce pulled dick by his hands and into a tight hug. he held onto him like his life depended on it, pulling him to his chest and pressing his forehead against dick’s head. dick practically melted in his arms, wrapping around bruce in a koala like posture. he had dialled for alfred a while ago, to prep the antidote and to get the car to drive over here on auto drive (dick could drive it, alright? he knew how, jason had taught him but bruce didn’t have much trust in jason’s teachings, after dick and jason had trotted home, with scrapes and cuts all over the place because jason had been trying to teaching dick how to drift, even though neither of them had even been legally allowed to drive. bruce swore these boys would be the end of him)

they stayed like that for a while, bruce rocking back and forth with his son in his arms. driving away all the screams of a dying ghost, leaving only remnants of a whisper. it wasn’t until a while later that dick gently tapped on bruce’s arm, after catching sight of the batmobile pulling up. bruce was paranoid at first, holding dick even tighter and darting his head around, searching for an indescribable danger. dick softly whispered that everything was alright, he just wanted to take bruce to the batmobile, that was all.

bruce had become somewhat lucid, going on one of his only lucid stretches of that night to dick’s dismay but also relief as he managed to pull bruce into the batmobile and lay him down in the back, locking all the doors as he sat in the drivers seat. he knew better then to start driving when bruce would most probably start losing his lucidity and try to claw out of the batmobile. he just started the car and directed it to go home, as he climbed into the back, laying on the car floor next to bruce, just holding his hand that practically engulfed his own.

when they had arrived home, and alfred had been able to inject the antidote in intravels, did dick let himself tear up a bit, as he changed out of his robin uniform. he just wanted jason here, that’s all he wanted. he wanted him to ruffle his hair, give him warm hugs, watch movies with him, hold him tightly and tell him that everything was going to be fine because he was jason’s little brother, and no one would fucking hurt him, not as long as jason lived. dick took a deep breath though, he was fine. he had no need to cry right now, he could do that later. bruce still needed him, his father needed him. so he would suck up his fears, vulnerablities and everything else, and shove it into a little box in his heart, and spin around and go help bruce. with a firm nod that no one saw, dick did just that.

that night, dick had been curled up in bruce’s behemoth of a bed, holding onto bruce tightly, as a movie droned on in the background. bruce was absentmindedly playing his dick’s hair, taking deep breathes and reassuring himself that dick was here, he was safe. no one was going to hurt him. he was currently next to him, not blown up to bits in a warehouse in Ethiopia and the ghost clinging onto his wilting mind was just that. a ghost.

“bruce?”

“hm.”

“i love you.”

with a kiss to the forehead and a sigh bruce whispered, “i love you too.”

SEE I CAN WRITE FLUFF. SOMETIMES. MAYBE. LISTEN HURT AND COMFORT IS MY SHIT OK? AND LIKE IK THIS IS RUSHED BUT I LOVED THE IDEA SO MUCH?? AND I REALLYY LIKE THIS AU SO LIKE YK IMMA RUN WITH IT BC LIKE WHY NOT?? HONESTLY ID LOVE TO WRITE A SERIES OF FICS OF THIS ON AO3 BUT LIKEE SIS DOESNT HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR THAT NOR DOES SHE HAVE THE TALENT BUT THATS FINEEE SO YK TYSM FOR READING HEHE AND UH EXPECT MORE IG I ADORE THIS AU SO :)!!! (OH AND EXCUSE ANY SPELLING MISTAKES IM SORRY, I DEF DID NOT PROOFREAD THIS ENOUGH)

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testingcheats0n · 3 years ago

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Bran IV

Bran IV.... I 'm beginning to appreciate Bran's chapters more this time. I hated them when I read them the first time. I thought them boring and uneventful, but now that I know all the secrets that might be hidden I'm enraptured.

Old Nan was always my favorite though, I always knew that her stories were true in the folksy, spoken tradition way.

Well. Bran's carefree childhood is over, he is angry and saddened by his situation, and he's kind of talking to himself. He says "It was just a lie..." to which Old Nan responds with "Crows are all liars, I know a story about a crow."

Hold up. Several things.

1. How does she know that Bran was talking about a specific lie he dreamt of about crows? He doesn't even mention the animal, but she knew exactly what was he referring to. Did he tell her earlier? He is quite sullen in this chapter, but he might've been talkative when he woke up, so that might be an explanation. I remember jumping up from my seat when I reached that part. Like- how does she know it's about the crow?

2. "Crows are all liars" That's a weird thing to say about your primary way of communication, lady. Oh? You were making a pointed distinction between crows and ravens? I see...

3. She knows a story about a crow. Which one? A man of the Night's Watch? Some spooky stuff happened with them- but it's not only a story. Does the crow in Old Nan's untold tale have three eyes, perchance? Whatever the case Bran did shut her off and we never heard that one.

Bran is too old for stories, he tells himself, embarking on a journey that depends on observing others' tales. Ig this is the part where he rejects the call for adventure.

Bran then proceeds to insult this poor old lady. In my opinion, she is a fascinating character. She came to Winterfell as a wet-nurse to a Bran, but which Bran even she doesn't remember. In fact, she's seen so many generations of Starks that she gets them confused with this one. That's so interesting- the things she'd seen as a wet-nurse through so many Lords of Winterfell...

Whatever the case, she is old now. Her sons died, her daughters are gone, and all she has is her distant relation Hodor.

"I know a story about a boy who didn't like stories."

Get him Old Nan.

Poor, poor Rickon. If Bran has Hodor and Old Nan, then baby Rickon didn't have anyone. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he renounced his Stark identity.

Anyway. She tells him what happened during the first Long Night. I suspect she's some kind of greenseer, possibly an escaped wildling- or maybe she was stolen by a northener and brought as a wet-nurse. She pretty much tells us all we know of the Long Night, before the Rhoynish, the Andals and the First Men (or during that time). A child of the forest or two definitely told he about this one.

She tells it like so. Men were already on the continent when the Long Winter came, a hero of that period- the Last Hero- went out to search the children of the forest. He went out with a sword and a dog.

-At this point I have to urge you all to read into Lucifer means Lightbringer's theories, where he blends different myths from different lands to form a cohesive story before the Age of Heroes-

The man who went with a sword and a dog is Jon- or at least a reincarnation of him- or maybe a long dead greenseer's vision of him that turned into legend- he is also Azor Ahai according to some.

This is my tinfoil.

Azor Ahai attempted to craft a sword that would help him win against the darkness (darkness=ice=winter, you get it)

The first time he tempered in water, and it broke. Water might be a sea serpent, and AA himself might be the Grey King who killed it, thus tempering his sword into "water", he also fought against the Stormgod (snowstorms?), and maybe the Long Night as well as the Last Hero. His blade shattered and his wolf died, while ice spiders and other creatures descended on him.

Old Nan's story got interrupted before we learned of his fate. So that's essentially 2 times where gurm had blue-balled us.

Take into account that myths change, they are rephrased, darkness turns into winter, meteorites into swords. Maybe the Grey King wasn't actually a king and that's another separate myth that joined the AA one together with the mermaid, maybe AA and the GK never existed and they were a passed down interpretation of some dreamer's future vision of the real AA. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

Whatever the case. If my theory is true then there were/are 3 different reincarnations of AA, all of them tried to fight an ancient evil, and they all attempted to create swords in different ways to combat the evil. Two had to fail, one will succeed... Hopefully. So next time, someone has to kill a lion (maybe a Lannister, who knows) and a woman they love dearly (Rhaegar killing Lyanna? it doesn't necessarily make R+L=J true. Rhaegar can be wrong about one more thing too, as a treat.). I have notes on that too, but that's for later.

Tyrion comes. Smack cam, seconds before disaster, gone wrong, gone violent, might die.

Also not Theon roasting others about their names. Boy oh boy.

Blegh. Tyrion talked too much, and Robb was too angry for his own good- also the guy that's reading the book placed some well timed voice cracks as Robb talked- priceless. 100/10 content.

Also... hmmm where does Tyrion's black eye come from? Literally everyone in his family has green eyes and his parents were cousins. It's not purple- purple eyes in disguise are described as shades of blue- his is black implying a dark brown.

Shaggydog growls at Rickon. Which I do believe that it's a leftover of the "Tyrion did actually try to kill Bran" plot thread. Ghost didn't have any problems with him and Jon loves Bran as much as the rest of them. Maybe it's Rickon's youth.

Whatever the case, Winter Town is a very interesting idea, both becasue it's unusual and perhaps because of it's possible history. The Starks had an incentive to keep their peasants protected during the winters... I wonder why.

Bran dreams. I believe the crow is pushing him away from the idea of the horse, which gives him some modicum of freedom. There is also the idea of not remembering the Broken Tower out of fear.

Also in his dreams he sees gargoyles with red eyes. Idk what that means. Red eyes have always been spooky, and Bloodraven has 1 red eye not two sooooo.... Idk maybe it's future Jon through Ghost's eyes, or Bloodraven when he still had two eyes, or maybe a former greenseer- Jojen? Idk.

Finally, Bran suddenly blurts out for no reason that the children of the forest will take care of his uncle.

#testing rereads asoiaf #asoiaf chapter by chapter analysis #asoiaf reread #bran iv #azor ahai #the last hero #grey king #asoiaf #bran

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wkrp · 5 years ago

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Tag meme

*ahem* I was gagged by @queenrogerina (Sophie honey ily even though you can't type literally at all)

Favourite snack?:

Fam,,, fam I literally don't even know,,, I'm so indecisive you can't do this to me,,, but the answer is bbq potato chips. Doesn't matter what brand, I automatically love them all

Favourite place to go on vacation:

Would you believe me if I said I've never been on like,, a proper vacation before??? Because I haven't whoops

What’s a song that makes you dance immediately?

La Vie Boheme from rent,,,,, an absolute fucking banger,,, impossible to not immediately groove when you hear it

Tea or Coffee?:

It depends tbh. Most of the time it's tea but sometimes Ya Boi just really wants an iced coffe, ya know?

Do you play an instrument?:

I wish I did, but no

What’s your favourite type of personality?:

Is not an asshole a valid answer?? Because I honestly don't really care that much

Favourite comedian:

It's a toss up between John Mulaney and like,,,,, the monty python guys,,,, rn it's monty python all the way but I'm hyperfixating like hell atm. If you wanna get more specific and ask my favorite from monty python it's Graham Chapman, but tbh Eric idle and Michael Palin have stolen my heart recently. Edit: shit I got like halfway through this tag meme and totally forgot about how much I love Ryan Stiles on whose line ajhdh,,, I don't even remember my favorite people guys

Gummy candy or chocolate?:

Gummy. I've kinda been liking chocolate less and less the older I get. I mean it's still good but,,, sweet tooth machine broke, I guess

What did you want to be when you grew up as a kid?:

When I was like 5 I wanted to be a forensic scientist,,, and then a little bit after that I wanted to be an astrophysicist,,, and then I wanted to be a forensic scientist again like,,, pretty much all the way up until high school and then I realized I was too dumb for that

What’s your favourite physical feature about yourself?:

Uhhhhhhhh,,,, man,,, my hair ig. I mean not right now because it's being difficult but usually it's my hair

When was the last time you watched a show or movie on a tv?:

See, this one is kinda open to interpretation. If you mean when was the last time a show or movie that was airing ontv then,,,,, it's been a few years. If you mean when was the last time I like,,, popped something in the dvd player or watched netflix on the tv or smth like that then, right now ig

Unpopular opinion?:

Idk how unpopular this is but listen,,,,, sometimes I have stuff I wanna discourse about but y'all need to just like,,, chill,,,,, you don't need to have some sort of argument about literally everything. Also, please, for the love of god learn to enjoy things that might be 'problematic' but acknowledge their flaws. There's no 100% perfect piece of media,,,, just enjoy shit critically it ain't that hard

Are you scared of bugs?:

When they're not in my house, no. When they're in my house,,,,, man I'd literally rather burn my house down then even fucking look at a spider

Cats or dogs?:

Cats!

Are you allergic to any food?:

Not that one aware of, no

Does the description of your star sign match your personality?:

For the most part yeah. I mean I always see stuff abt sagittarius being adventurous which is just,,, nah fam. I mean in theory, yes, but,, I'm so fucking lazy so the idea of doing things is not appealing

Favourite type of accent?:

I don't really have a favorite tbh

Name the first song that comes into your head:

,,,, you won't succeed on broadway from spamalot,,, what can I say? It's a bop

Who is the sexiest famous person to you?:

Christian borle is 👌👌👌 beautiful man I love him. Also Katrina Lenk,,,,,,, she's so pretty it makes me wanna cry

Cake or pie?:

Both, you can't make me decide.

When was the last time you read a full book?:

Longer than I'd like to admit

Favourite junk food:

Fam,,,,, we've been over this I can't decide,,,,, honestly I'll eat literally anything if it looks good and occasionally even if it doesn't look good, but you usually have to pay me for that one

What’s your favourite personality trait?:

None, tbh.. I really don't care

Do you like your height?:

Yeah, I guess

Apples or oranges?:

Apples

Do you like salad?:

If I feel like having a salad, then yeah,,,, but that's not very often

What is a song that has made you cry?:

Lemme just take a look at my sad boy hours spotify playlist and I'll get back to you on that because I can't think of any off the top of my head,,, alright this is gonna seem like a weird choice but I'm gonna go with love, you didn't do right by me from white christmas,,,,, yeah, man what can I say,,,, all I listen to is musicals and I've got questionable taste sometimes

What person inspires you the most?:

Man,,,, man,,, it changes every two seconds but atm I'd say Graham Chapman,,,,,,,,,, I can't even begin to talk about how much I love him

Aaaaaaaand I'm,,,, not gonna tag anyone because I'm very anxious and tbh I don't know a lot of people well enough to feel comfortable tagging them so if you wanna do this then just say I tagged you

#emmett eeps #yoinks that took a long time

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oceansborn-blog · 5 years ago

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intros: next gen verse, pt. 1

ALICE LONGBOTTOM: seventh year, hufflepuff, head student, halfblood, cis female, she/ her. fc: milena tscharntke. pinterest.

Mum Friend™

alice is like... very nurturing, honestly. she likes to be there for people and take care of them -- they come first, in her mind, and she comes second. definitely considers most people around her more important than herself -- she doesn’t have a bad self-confidence, really, but putting herself first isn’t something she’d think of?

even from first year she’d be the kid others could come to if they couldn’t sleep and she’d make them some tea and stay up with them

favourite subjects are care of magical creatures & herbology -- just loves everything about nature and all the creatures in it

her room at home is full of plants & she joined the herbology club at hogwarts as soon as she could so she could help out in the greenhouses; makes her feel like home and less homesick, though having her siblings and parents at hogwarts now definitely helps

her tag is ‘steady flame’ which i tend to think pretty suitable for her -- she’s not a bright, roaring wildfire or anyone that sticks out particularly much, but she’s steady in her light and her love and she’s always there to provide some comfort

always tries her hardest in her classes but if she has to help a friend out that takes precedence -- she cares about her grades but not as much as helping people, so if she needs to skip out on revising more for a test to comfort a friend, she will

takes her prefect responsibilities quite seriously and now her head student ones, but isn’t a stickler for the rules in the sense that she always tries to understand the reason behind why a student got in trouble and if exceptions should be made

her biggest passion is dragons and they have been her favourite animal since she was a kid her heart just !!!! soars when she thinks of them

her dream job is to be a dragonologist but she hasn’t really... committed to it because she’s like... afraid of leaving home? she doesn’t want to be somewhere else if people need her? in a way ig she considers herself a bit more important than she is -- people will be fine if she moves elsewhere, the world will not fall apart, people will be happy for her -- but simultaneously she’s afraid to leave if like. nothing changes when she’s gone? and she’s not as important and necessary here as she thought? idk she has Conflicted emotions so her solution rn is just to let that dream remain just a dream

hopefully she’ll get her act together and go for it one day

but rn she’s considering a herbologist career instead even tho her heart is yelling at her to work with dragons

AISLINN FINNIGAN-THOMAS: seventh year, hufflepuff, vampire, cis female, she/ her. fc: inbar lavi. pinterest.

bde: big dumbass energy

chaotic horny

kind of spoiled in the sense that she has both her dads wrapped around her little finger and kind of... charms her way into avoiding punishment?

gets away with a lot of shit she shouldn’t and has since she was a kid

maybe that’s why she’s such a disaster now! whom knows

was sorted into hufflepuff not so much because she admires or embodies the traits, necessarily, but because hufflepuff takes the rest and she really couldn’t fit anywhere else

she’s really just here to have a good time and wants to accomplish that in any way possible

she’s really... not interested in anything that doesn’t involve having fun. schoolwork? serious matters? will gladly ignore!

she Loves her friends and family but might not be the best person to always turn to for emotional support? or ever gfhsjd. her strategy for anything painful is ignore, ignore, ignore! and that tends to be her advice to others. she’s for sure nice to turn to if you want to distract yourself and do something fun, but in terms of actually discussing things and trying to process them? really not the right gal

‘mate, am genuinely jus here for a laff x’ in a person

gets into A Lot of stupid and reckless and dangerous situations just because she’s a person who tends to follow any half-rotten idea she gets. could be seen as brave, i suppose, since she’s not really scared of much --- but it’s more because she doesn’t think about it or linger on what consequences could come long enough to actually get scared

really doesn’t have an ambitious bone in her body. she’s never been one to even plan a week ahead but just lives her life a day at a time. teachers might try to get her to settle on a career and plan for it but she’ll just say a goal and by the next meeting drop another random career that she has no intention of trying for. probably drives them up the wall

does just well enough to scrape by in her classes so her parents can’t complain but no more than that

makes a lot of bad decisions, especially if she’s drunk

key example: deciding that knockturn alley seemed like a good place for a hookup and went there late at night, alone, and drunk as hell

did not find a hookup, but a vampire found her

woke up the next day feeling like absolute shite and with a very obvious bite that aislinn in true dumbass fashion thought was the ugliest hickey in the world

really hasn’t.... processed being a vampire? she’s like eh! can be ignored! i’m not emotionally and spiritually a vampire which is all that matters!

insists on still doing stuff she can no longer do, like eat a shit ton of garlic bread and lie out in the sun when she’s fucking nocturnal now

she’s quite sweet but her disaster energy brings a lot of stress to the logical people in her life

ISABELLA POTTER: fifth year, ravenclaw, disaster, halfblood, cis female, she/ her. fc: lana condor. pinterest.

she’s like the really trashy love child of leslie knope and ben wyatt?? mostly their bad sides lmao??? she too would be referred to as a human disaster on national tv

she’s a descendant of the part of the potter family that moved to america ages ago, so until she transferred to hogwarts in her fourth year she didn’t know the other potters?? like obviously she knew of them what with harry saving the wizarding world and all, but they hadn’t met each other before. she’s an only child with no close cousins so like meeting the potters and the huge fam that comes with them was kind of like ………………… wait what for her and she’s still like??? doubt we’re actually related sorry can’t live up to you all

but yeah it was just her & her parents growing up and she was quite close to them when she was younger, but her dad is a politician ( now the president of the magical congress of the us ) and her mother is a healer, and they’re both just really ambitious, hardworking people so they didn’t have a lot of time to dedicate to their home life?? and when isa went off to boarding school they drifted further apart, so at this point they honestly don’t know each other that well?? and tbh they’re not bad parents per say, if you don’t count how focused on their careers they are rather than supporting her, it’s just that they’re both so focused and confident i don’t think they ever consider that isa might,,, not be?? and she really, really isn’t.

her self-worth is so low and confidence is basically nonexistent, and when she’s nervous or struggling a lot with anxiety she tends to ramble a lot, which her parents just interpreted as her being talkative rather than there being an underlying reason for it, and basically there was just… a lot of misunderstanding between them? like isa still loves them, but whenever she was home she just didn’t feel good, and she hates herself for it because they are good people, but she just doesn’t know how to change that??

somehow did not end up nearly as charismatic or smart or anything as her parents tho and is just a mess™ so she mostly introduces herself only with her first name and tries to like not think of the fact that that her dad held such an important position bc she doesn’t want to bring more embarrassment to the family than she already has lmao

she really wants to make her parents proud and everything and tries to behave properly she’s just ??? failing epically. always finds a way to embarrass herself and put her foot in her mouth and once it happens her pride kicks in and she just makes it worse and worse because she can’t just admit that she did something wrong so she just continues to dig her own grave like every second conversation it’s amusing to watch but she’s just a tragic mess

with her father being the president and her mother out there literally saving lives she was like i gotta do something good with mine!!! she doesn't see becoming an author as good enough in comparison, so she's gonna study to become a healer like her mom after she graduates but like,,, it’s so not the right career choice for her, she'll probably would dropp up halfway through training

when anything remotely bad happens she’s like this is THE worst thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life and i cannot show my face ever again so basically,,, the ppl in her life are probably used to her Dramatic self by now. tho i guess now that there is an actual apocalypse going on, everything sort of is the worst thing that’s ever happened in her life?? anyways

when it comes down to it isa is just a mess™ who just. gets into embarrassing situations Constantly because she never shuts up. she is often awkward and anxious and always puts her foot in her mouth and once that happens her pride kicks in and she just makes it worse and worse because she just can’t admit that she did something wrong so she just continues to dig her own grave like every second conversation. amusing to watch but a terror for herself she’s just a tragic mess who Cannot shut up for two seconds

her mouth just runs on it’s own and her brain struggles to keep up so she just says weird shit sometimes

it is honestly a surprise she hasn’t run off to live in the woods and write trashy romance novels yet

that’s genuinely a thought she has daily djhasg she loves her family so much so she wouldn’t but like. she thinks she should not be allowed to talk with other people because she Will fuck it up and she’s proven that again and again

lowkey terrified of actually falling in love despite how often she gushes about it and just runs away at the thought. quite literally. she will ramble and then run as fast as she can she’s gotta GO

VERA WOOD-KRUM: fifth year, gryffindor, broom racing mess, halfblood, cis female, she/ her. fc: brittany o’grady.

vera is entirely her fathers’ daughter and that becomes clear to everyone who has heard of them like .5 seconds after meeting her

she is Loud and she Will Not be stopped!!

so yeah she’s the daughter of viktor and oliver, and at this point they’re even more iconic than they were when they were younger tbh. even their ‘love story’ is pretty famous around the wizarding world, their rivals-to-eventual-friends-to-lovers story touching many, not to mention being one of the first openly gay couples in the quidditch sphere

vera will always argue they’re the most iconic couple at the very least in the quidditch world but also probably in the wizarding world but lbr she is Biased

she has three siblings, a younger brother named max who is... probably in his second year at this point i wanna say, and two older siblings, katya & alex, who are a bit closer in age to her. oliver and viktor used surrogate mothers and mixed sperm and have their kids, and yeah long story short vera is fiercely loyal to her family and would highkey die for them. 10/10 always ready to fight for them if someone talks shit

very grateful for her family and her happy upbringing and they mean more to her than anything in the world

obviously comes from a very quidditch centred family, and tho neither of her parents would force their kids into any career, they did have her join a little league quidditch team as a kid to encourage a healthy lifestyle and bc it’s their favourite sport in the world lbr. vera started out as a chaser but the coach decided to switch her position to seeker because he thought it would be a more suitable position --- which it definitely was, only more so than intended. her time in the little league quidditch team made her realise her intense love for broom racing, and she quickly lost interest in the actual game, racing off the pitch before quickly crashing and being brought back by the coaches fgjgdsfjhs

has been set on becoming a professional broom racer since she was a kid, basically, and is as obsessed with that as oliver is with quidditch --- if not more. like father, like daughter fjhsdgfhjs

basically all her birthday and christmas wishes since then has been related to it, whether for broom polish or workout clothes or books on the matter, even sometimes wishing from brooms when a new version was released

always makes sure to keep up with the latest news regarding anything from brooms to quidditch

anytime one of her fathers went to diagon alley, she would hound them into bringing her so she could hang out in broomstix, overtime annoying the old owner into liking her LMAO, becoming something like the granddaughter he never had

she worked there over summer and helps out a bit now during christmas break as well

but yeah vera was sorted into gryffindor like .2 seconds after the sorting hat touched her head HFJSDGFJS she was so far from a headstall it’s ridiculous

she takes after oliver a lot which i think is one of the first things ( and sometimes only if they don’t get to know her ) people notice about her --- she’s vivacious and loud and dramatic and incredibly competitive and is absolutely ridiculous, most of the time, especially when it comes for the lengths she’ll go to when it comes to broom racing. but she holds viktor’s kindness and loving nature at her core and she has quite a fixed

definitely wouldn’t be wrong to call her a daredevil, one of the things she loves about broom racing is flying around obstacles and how wrong it can go if she’s not good enough gjhdsgfj

has been in and out of both the hospital wing and st. mungo’s many, many times for a sixteen-year-old

her whole family is very supportive of her dreams which she is So grateful for, partly because they just want to see her succeed and be happy but also to reduce the amount of injuries she gets hsdhjfgs viktor especially trains her a lot with his seeker experience in mind, a role which her older siblings took on when she started hogwarts

that said, the wood-krum siblings are just as likely to encourage each other to get into trouble as to help each other so she ends up in trouble a lot hjsdghfj she Loves it tho all the professors probably think she is a pain in the ass, albeit a charming one

vera always tries to get around hogwarts by broomstick or longboard so like. rip in peace to the rest of hogwarts’ inhabitants bc the amount of detentions she gets doesn’t face her, she is set in her ways

#( verse: next gen. )#( intros. )#i genuinely just #copy pasted two of these LMAO #i was gonna do more but i figured maybe it's easier to spread them out in several posts

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twdmusicboxmystery · 6 years ago

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9x10: Omega - Details

Okay, let's talk details. I’ll put these in three major groups: Lydia-related details, a few Carol details, and general/Alpha details. Some of these will touch on the things I said in my First Thoughts post yesterday, but with little more detail.

***Once again, spoilers abound for episode 9x10. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Lydia details:

My group has talked a lot about the strangeness of Lydia's ear condition. In 9x06, Daryl watched a bluebird/Songbird pull a worm out of a walker's ear. It then fed the worm to its babies. My theory with the worm is that it represents something negative that's being taken out of someone. Like negativity or negative belief of some kind. Now, in this episode, we saw both Lydia and Henry eat worms, and we also saw that she had some sort of pain or medical condition associated with her ear. Could be something as simple as an ear infection that’s gone untreated.

In truth, we’re not sure exactly how all of the stuff fits together, but here are a few ideas we’ve brainstormed.

1) Naturally we’re relating it to Daryl eating the warm in 5x10 and Beth in general.

2) Several of my fellow theorists have suggested it shows Daryl becoming a father figure and protector to Lydia.

3) I would go so far as to say that, if the worm represents something negative, and it's being taken out of the year, then maybe it represents him showing Lydia how she's been thinking wrongly about things. About how her mother is crazy and abusive, and revealing the lies Lydia has believed all these years.

Even those I’m not completely satisfied with. We’re fairly certain the walker on the tree in 9x06 represented Daryl himself. So, it feels a little backwards as of right now. We’ll definitely be keeping an eye on this as the arc progresses.

Daryl offered Lydia water several times. First of all, Beth equals water. So there’s that. Another parallel to Beth. And what did Daryl use to give her water? A Big Dipper. Or Little Dipper. We can relate that to the North Star and Sirius/Dog star symbolism. I know @frangipanilove is working on a new post about this. The symbols are definitely important.

Some interesting dialogue.

At one point, Daryl says to Lydia, "You don't know shit about me." That really jumped out at me because it's exactly what Noah said to Beth at Grady. So, we’ve got some Grady stuff going on here.

Lydia also use phrases like "she's a good person," or, "they were good people." Obviously, that dialogue is the same Beth used.

Lydia was convinced no one was coming for her. This parallels her strongly with Beth at Grady. Beth specifically said to Dawn, "No one’s coming."

She wasn't really talking about herself being rescued so much as about Dawn's misguided belief that the army or FEMA would show up to rescue them. Beth meant the world had pretty much ended and they were on their own.

But even so. We have Dawn's misguided belief and Beth telling her that no one is coming. Then we have Lydia, whose also has misguided beliefs, and she tells Daryl that no one's coming for her.

In both cases, this person's family turned up at the gates, and a prisoner exchange took place. At Grady, obviously Rick and Daryl showed up to collect Beth and Carol and there was the prisoner exchange that went very badly. Here, Alpha and the Whisperers, Lydia’s family, showed up to get her. We haven't seen it yet, but it's obvious that a prisoner exchange is about to take place. I'm actually very excited to see how this plays out because I'm anticipating a lot of Grady parallels.

It's also important to notice that things are kind of opposite from what they were at Grady. As I said yesterday, Lydia is actually being heavily paralleled Daryl. So in S5, Beth was the one who was the prisoner and TF came to get her. Here in S9, the Daryl figure (Lydia) is the one who was imprisoned and her family, who we know are villains, have come to her. I'm thinking the prisoner exchange will go well, specifically because the Grady didn't. But that remains to be seen.

After re-watching, I was also very intrigued by the baby references. When Henry got Lydia out of her cell, she reached for a hammer and was going to hit him with it and run. She didn’t know Daryl stood a few feet away watching.

When the woman from Hilltop came outside with her crying baby, it really freaked Lydia out. It made her want to go back into the cell.

Not sure what that means, but now we have the Whisperers at the gates and one of them has a baby. I've read spoilers about what will happen with this, and I won't go into them here, but it's obvious the Whisperers aren’t big on babies.

As I've mentioned before, in the CBs there’s a major rape culture among the Whisperers. And we know Alpha abuses Lydia to keep her in line. This is complete conjecture on my part, but I'm sort of wondering if maybe at some point, Lydia got pregnant and had a baby, but Alpha forced her to give it up. That might explain why she had such a visceral reaction to hearing the baby cry. It also might play into the other worm/Songbird/babies in the nest symbolism going on in 9x06. Again, we’ll just have to wait and see.

With stuff like this, I immediately start developing head canons about it. Like maybe Lydia did something to try and save her baby, and Beth ended up with it. Maybe Beth will show up with Lydia’s baby, which would explain the child/baby symbolism around her. I even wondered if Gracie could be Lydia’s baby, but I don’t think the timeline works. Based on her age, Lydia would have only been ten when Gracie was born, so probably not.

Daryl brought in the branch of a birch tree when he confronted Lydia about her abuse. This is super important because we’ve long thought the trees in the plate glass picture in FG’s church, which Sasha shot in 5x16, were birch trees. We couldn’t be sure, but they look like they were. Birch tree symbolism points heavily to Beth, and the fact that that picture was shot with the bullet suggests a retelling of Beth being shot at Grady. Don't forget, that's the scene where FG says all kinds of things about them sacrificing their own that makes absolutely no sense. Again other theorists are working on metas about the birch tree, so I won't go into it further except to say we’re glad they specifically named it as a birch tree because it validates a lot of our earlier theories.

As a child, Lydia had a stuffed rabbit. They said in TTD it was a nod to Judith's rabbit from Carl’s vision of the future. That’s significant because it could show that this war with the Whisperers will in some way lead to Carl’s vision of the future. I think, especially in terms of Negan, that's probably true. But we’ve also seen rabbit symbolism around Beth before. There are pictures of rabbits in 4B, and then there were the rabbits Lizzie killed.

I started to wonder if maybe we should look for some Lizzie/Lydia or perhaps Lizzie/Alpha parallels. I honestly haven't thought about that too much, but Lydia is pretty messed up, and Lizzie was he was pretty messed up. Lizzie killed a bunch of rabbits and Lydia had a stuffed rabbit. Carol mothered Lizzie, and we’re starting to think this whole Lydia arc is going to end up having to do with Carol. I get to that in a minute. So just some food for thought.

In terms of eating worms, we’ve talked about a few different ways to interpret it. @wdway suggested maybe we could parallel it to Beth and Daryl eating snake together.

Yes, we know they’re two different species and even symbolically, they generally mean different things, but they’re both long and skinny and slither on the ground, right? All that aside, I think we can read into Beth and Daryl eating snake together at the beginning of their journey, and now Henry and Lydia eating worms together at the beginning of theirs. I think that's too close a parallel to ignore.

@rabia___81 (IG) also suggested something I thought was really beautiful and wanted to include. She said she believes Henry fell in love with Lydia when they ate the worms together. I think that’s valid, as right after that we see them holding hands. So, she suggested perhaps Daryl eating the worm in 5x10 shows it was then, after he lost Beth, that he realized he'd been in love with her. All together now:

Carol stuff:

Henry, talking about Carol to Lydia, said, "She's tough." This is exactly what Daryl told Carol of Beth in S5. Actually, he said it to a few people. So, I wondered how we should interpret this. Does that mean Carol will be missing and presumed dead, much like Beth? Possibly, but I think it's more complicated than that.

Several of us during the episode last night started to get the vibe that they might be juxtaposing Carol and Alpha. This came in several different forms. When we first started seeing the flashbacks of Lydia's father, and she presented him as being a being somewhat abusive, we made comments that he seemed a lot like Ed, Carol’s first husband.

Of course, as we move through the story, we find out that the opposite was true. Even though Lydia remembered certain things that way, it was only because her mother brainwashed her. In each of those scenes, it was really Alpha who was abusive and the father was the more loving one. So, we have a reversal from Carol and Ed. Carol was the abused and Ed, the abuser. In Alpha’s case, she was the abuser and her husband was the abused. Now, Alpha abuses her daughter, where we know Carol protected Sophia from Ed as best she could.

Then there’s the hair thing. I said at the beginning of the season that her long hair probably reflected that Carol was so happy with Ezekiel, and I was willing to bet something would happen down the line, some tragedy, and she’d cut it off again. The first part of that was confirmed by Henry in this episode. He said the reason she cut her hair short was because Ed used it to grab her by and summer against the wall. When she finally found love with Ezekiel, she finally felt happy enough and safe enough to let her go wrong again.

It’s super interesting that they chose this episode to put that story in, because Carol wasn’t even in this episode. But we saw an iconic scene of Alpha, completely bald, showing up at the gates. So, it may be a juxtaposition there between long-haired Carol and bald alpha.

And there's the fact that this arc is about parents abusing children. Obviously, Daryl has a huge link to that because he was abused as a child, but Carol was abused as an adult and if they are heading toward a Carol/Alpha showdown, we’ll have a woman whose fought abuse her entire life and fought to protect her daughter against a woman is been abusive all her life and specifically abuses her daughter. That’ll be a pretty epic showdown. I think it’ll be a really great story. Obviously we aren't the only ones thinking this as the caller on TTD last night asked the same question. So, people are definitely picking up on this vibe.

And that’s what I mean about not being sure about the whole "she's tough" line. I think it will end up playing into this entire arc, but I'm not sure exactly how yet.

We also have an anti-parallel in the reason behind the hair length. We can surmise from Lydia’s flashbacks that Alpha only ever kept her hair long to please her husband. She cut it off for selfish reasons. (“I’m doing what I want now.”) Carol cut her hair off specifically as a way to fight against her abusive husband, and she kept it long because SHE was in a good emotional head space.

I kind of hope Carol doesn’t cut all her hair off again. I mean, she probably will, but it would be nice to see some growth in her by having her not cut it off when her losses start piling up again. And it’s interesting that Daryl knows this about her now, because if she does cut it off again, he’ll know why, and it will make him sad. 😥

Aside: someone in my group also made the very good point that Carol never felt safe enough to grow her hair long before Ezekiel, and that includes with Daryl. So in terms of proving Carol and Daryl aren’t romantic...just thought I’d point that out. 😉

Miscellaneous:

In one of Lydia’s flashbacks, she and her mother played checkers, and Alpha said checkmate. Obviously, a chess reference. My post on the chess game is HERE, but remember we saw the Governor playing chess a lot in S4. During that time, he was very heavily paralleled with Beth and they used his episodes to foreshadow her arc, so that's important. Perhaps we could argue that seeing chess again might suggest that this is when the resurrection arc will finally come back around.

I also think they use this to foreshadow the bad guy TF is now faced with. The villain is overly confident and thinks they’ll win easily. This was definitely true of the Governor who I believe said “checkmate” more than once. He felt confident he could take the prison down. Of course he didn't, which I suppose we could see as a foreshadow that eventually TF will beat Alpha as well. (Of course, most of us figured that anyway.)

I think this is especially interesting because we now know it was Lydia’s father who said this, not her mother. But we never saw him saying it. It’s like the writers came up with an excuse to specifically show Alpha saying it. That’s obviously intentional.

Another parallel: the Governor attacked the prison and took it down. Lydia keeps saying that this place, meaning Hilltop, will fall, just like every other place. It just feels like a call back to the Gov bulldozing the prison.

They emphasized a 23 in Lydia’s flashbacks. We saw it on the wall, and then we heard her parents talk about it at least twice. It seemed to me that we’d seen this number before, but I couldn't remember where. I looked into my old theories, and I found it. We saw it prominently in episode 5x11, directly after the music box woke up, when the TF goes with Aaron to Alexandria for the first time. He tells them to take Highway 16. The reason is that it's been cleared of walkers and they’ll get there safely. Rick doesn't trust Aaron because he doesn't know him. He says that they're going take Route 23. Aaron warns them heavily against that, saying it hasn’t been cleared and it's a bad idea, but Rick does it anyway. Sure enough, they run into walkers.

Originally, I tried to use these numbers as a way to point S7 or S8 for Beth’s return. Obviously not. But the meaning hasn’t gone anywhere. Route 16 (a multiple of 8, btw) led to a smooth journey, life, and safety. Route 23 (2+3 = 5 for S5?) on the other hand, led to death and separation. TF got all split up and ended up having to reunite at the end. It was especially significant that there was a flare (fire) and a water tower (Beth equals water) that were present were TF reunited. So, I always saw this as a Beth parallel.

We could argue the 23 here might be a Beth thing, but I think it's more likely that it shows that in TWD symbolism world, this is just a very negative number. It will always result in death and familial separation. This definitely happened with Lydia. We saw day 23 and the sequence that followed led to her father's death. It also could foreshadow that the war with alpha is going to be long and deadly.

We later saw the number 43, after more time has passed. Episode 43 of the show was Too Far Gone. And its when this number is shows that we see Alpha kill Matias. Kinda interesting and another parallel to the Governor.

In closing, I wanted to touch on the Omega title. I’m not clear yet why they called this episode Omega. Alpha is the first letter of the Greek alphabet, and of course it's Lydia’s mom's name. Omega is the last letter of the alphabet, and the title of the episode.

I think this could be a Carol/Alpha thing. As in, if Carol equals Omega, then Carol will be the end of Alpha? I'm not positive about that either. Because Carol wasn't in this episode and I'm not sure that it makes sense to think Omega equals Carol.

Of course, in terms of TD, the title “Alpha and Omega” is one of the best known titles for Christ, so we can’t help but think this might be a Beth thing. But again, even if that’s the case, I’m not sure how to specifically interpret the title of this episode.

This was essentially the beginning of the war with the Whisperers, as they are at the gates. This is the first real encounter with them. But I’ll keep an eye on this symbolism as we progress.

Okay, that's it for today. I will talk about all the musical references in this episode tomorrow. Can't wait to hash that out because they’re really good! Stay tuned!

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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tastethegrace · 4 years ago

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Analyzing “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)”

I don’t often post things as they’re having their cultural moment. However, this song by Lil Nas X, a rap/hip hop/pop artist, who is famous for his song “Old Town Road” a few years ago, has caused quite the stir. On one side of the fence is the LGBTQ+ community, who touts this song as an anthem to the artist’s sexual identity. On the other are the Christians, many of whom have posted warnings on social media, urging fellow believers to “wake up,” guard their children, and many calling down the name of Jesus against the Satanic imagery associated with it. The music video for this song sees the artist depicted as Eve in the garden of Eden, being seduced by the serpent. He is then on trial, then descends into hell, where he himself seduces the Devil. The artist has also partnered with street wear brand MSCHF to produced what many are calling “Satan shoes.” These shoes apparently have contain one drop of human blood in the soul, have a black and red color scheme with pentagrams painted on the soul and attached to the laces.

So first off, the reason I’m writing this post is to critique the Christian reaction to this song and its associated media. It’s important to understand this right off the bat, as I will not be analyzing this song on its artistic merits. Instead, I will attempt to analyze the artist’s intent behind the imagery and symbolism he chooses to use.

If there’s one thing that I have grown to understand, it’s that the American Church has a fundamental misunderstanding of how believers are to interact with culture. We have been stuck in the same culture war for decades, with this idea that we must enforce our beliefs on others, affect change through politics and protests, and fear all that is antithetical to the Christian belief system. This latter point is the most significant, and one that many of my Christian friends may dispute.

Let me explain here. In the age of social media, everyone judges and reacts quickly, posting their affirmations and protests for everyone to see without putting much thought into what they’re actually critiquing. Sadly, the American Church, most of the time, has followed suit. Rather than choosing a different way to interact with the world on social media, it has become a leading reactionary voice -- a more intense version of what already exists in the mainstream. It has so become the case that the world looks on and mocks.

As a younger Christian, I went with the flow, just as everyone else did. But as a I grew up, and especially in college, I learned the importance of questioning, of slowing down, of considering the ins and outs, the truths and lies present in our everyday world. I believe this process gives insight into the presence of God in our everyday lives, presenting us with his truth and beauty, present even in the darkest of places. It also gives us the ability to, like Jesus, call something what it actually is, diminishing its power, and responding to it with the importance/weight it deserves.

Now understanding this context and the process by which I will move forward, let’s talk about this song. First of all, the lyrics explicitly discuss the artist’s encounters with one specific person, a male in this context. There’s a couple of levels to this song. The first, that many in the LGBTQ+ community point out, is that he says that his partner “lives in the dark,” while he himself “cannot pretend.” This refers to the fact that his partner is a closeted gay man, while Lil Nas is out. As for the rest of the lyrics here, Lil Nas discusses his attachment to this man and the sexual experiences he has and wants to have with him. He mentions the use of drugs to illustrate a hellish environment. On a deeper level, evidenced even more clearly in the music video, Lil Nas is using this situation as a metaphor to reach out to his former, closeted self.

In the interest of digging for the truth, I would go one step further here. While it is obvious that the artist wishes to affirm his former self and encourage a lifestyle that is honest, at the very least, he also confesses what he wants very clearly. All of the explicit imagery here is true to his experience. So what does he want? He wants deep connection, intimate experiences, and he’s ultimately willing to go to “hell” to get it, even if his partner won’t come out.

Why is it important to understand this? Am I trying to affirm how Lil Nas gets what he wants? No, but that’s also not the point. Understanding the artist’s questions are just as important as understanding his answers; in my opinion, even more so. In order to make any sort of true judgment of merit or integrity, either subjective or objective, it’s important to understand fully how the artist is coming to his conclusions.

Moving on to the music video, I’m going to use an analysis posted by reddit user margarita_atwood, as she discusses much of I what I found myself.

Everyone is going to have an opinion on this video, whether that opinion is heavily in favor or disfavor...Later, I’ll talk about why the negative opinions about this video don’t really matter and actually play right into LNX’s plans.

Lil Nas as every character: Through the miracle of CGI, LNX plays every single character. Some people might interpret this as LNX making love to himself in some scenes, but I think it has more to do with the Jungian concept of the Shadow Self (explained some in this video). There’s definitely some interesting psychology behind LNX playing all the parts. He’s talking to himself, seducing himself, running from himself. And I don’t think it would have had the same impact if the main characters were played by anyone else. He’s definitely being a little narcissistic, which he winks at with his own face on a Narcissus flower (daffodil) that I’ll get to next...He also says in the intro: “Welcome to Montero”, which is both this fantasy land he is creating for us in the video, and introducing us to his real self, saying welcome to the real me.

Scene 1- Garden of Eden: In the first scene. We’ve got the temptation of Adam by the snake/Satan in the Garden of Eden story mixed with Greek classical architecture motifs (sans Eve, as LNX raps “If Eve ain’t in your garden/ You know that you can/ Call me when you want”). In the reaction video I mentioned earlier, LNX talks about how growing up gay in a black church (or any church for that matter) made him repress and feel ashamed about his budding sexuality as a young adult. So while the lyrics are explicit, all of the themes in the video are very pointed allegories about how he’s dealt with his sexuality. He runs away from his tempting snake-self, meanwhile running past a Lion King-esque Mufasa cloud featuring his fate/destiny, and Narcissus flowers AKA daffodils (in the Greek myth, daffodils grew where Narcissus drowned after staring at his own reflection for too long), only to be caught by his temptation in a scene that gives me a ton of Labyrinth vibes. After his literal fall with possible Paradise Lost references to this perceived “sin,” we nearly see his alien-snake-self fellate his Adam-self. Finally, we close in on a shot of Greek writing on a tree. Some people smarter than I were able to find out that this is an excerpt from Plato’s Symposium which reads: “So in the beginning when they were cut in two, they yearned for each other’s half.” Symposium is basically a bunch of Greek philosophers telling metaphorical campfire stories about love (let’s ignore once again problematic themes of statutory rape in some of this). The excerpt in the video in particular is a part where one of Plato’s students Aristophanes gives an account of the origin of soulmates. Originally people were joined as two people to make one whole person. In this story, there were male/male, female/female, and female/male pairings and the gods became jealous and split them in two. The Montero excerpt is explaining this splitting of soul mates where they’re doomed to long for their other halves to become whole for eternity. Lots of allegories there regarding LNX trying to seduce a possibly gay man who is still in the closet.

Scene 2- The gladiator’s Colosseum: LNX then is taken as a prisoner in chains to a Greek colosseum, also full of LNX judges in Marie Antoinette wigs and faceless LNX mob spectators. I believe his character in this scene is supposed to be a Ulysses-type as his pink, fur shawl he’s wearing has a ram’s head broach...the blue LNX jury sentences him to...jail, and he gets literally stoned to death... Ulysses-LNX presumably dies and his soul is being lifted up to the heavens. An angel awaits him above, with a lot of Creation of Adam motifs (which was also hinted at on LNX’s IG). But just before he reaches his guardian angel.... a stripper pole rises up from the earth...and he rides that b**** all the way to the seventh inner circle of h*** in some thigh-high boots, tricking all the way down.

Scene 3- Twerking on the devil: And now we get to the biggest scandal. LNX said to those of you who think gays deserve to go to hell, watch me go to hell and give Satan a lap dance....he’s one-upping the shock factor in each part. Think it’s scandalous to go down on myself? Just wait. There’s some trolling of Illuminati/Satanist conspiracy rumors in the motifs. Honestly, the purpose of this scene is that he knew religious types would try and metaphorically crucify him over the lyrics. So he said let me beat you to it. He’s trolling the religious hater that I’m sure made his life growing up a proverbial hell already. And hey, the more times they stream and react to the song out of anger, the more money he makes from their anger. And then he goes and pulls a mafia hit, killing Satan after seducing him, and taking his horns of braids and becoming the fallen angel...

While perhaps not stated the most eloquently, and obviously from a more approving light, the OP gives us some insight into the symbolism used in this video. On first glance, the believer might gag at how biblical imagery is used and twisted here. However, I would encourage that believer to be patient and consider for a moment a few things.

1. If we let our gut reaction to this imagery become our public reaction, we prove the artist’s perspective of believers correct in the eyes of the world.

2. If we consider the symbols and imagery used, it is obvious that this piece was intricately planned by Lil Nas to suggest his conclusions through the subversion of cultural norms. This is not a new technique by any means, and it is important to acknowledge this.

3. Remember that Lil Nas was raised in the church. His use of biblical imagery is intentional here. If you detect a hint of bitterness in the twists he uses, that’s because there is, and not without reason.

See, I think that if Jesus looked at this video and gave us his reaction, it would not be a warning to us to guard our hearts. That’s common sense. I think it would be sadness that Lil Nas has not experienced the true intimacy and connection that he so desires in a healthy context, but also that he would be so bitter as to use the imagery as a “F*** You!” to the church. Granted, this is all speculative, but when I look at Jesus in the gospels, I never see Jesus trying to separate or isolate his disciples from sinners. He sees right to the heart of why sinners sin, and urges his disciples by example and speech to have compassion. It is the the Pharisees and teachers of the law who he preaches against, urging his disciples to guard their hearts against them.

Finally, there’s the even bigger deal being made in Christian circles of the “Satan shoes.” Let me set the record straight here. This company put out “Jesus shoes” a couple of years ago that claimed to have holy water in its soles. This was a stunt by the artist for the very purpose of causing controversy. It was done out of anger. The imagery only has power if we let it be something other than what it is.

I have seen so many people decrying the use of this imagery as an act of devil worship. That’s not what this is. Is Lil Nas believing a lie? Most certainly, as all humans do every day. But this should not be shocking. We must look behind the symbols to what they’re really pointing to.

In conclusion, I felt that it was important to share my feelings on this, as the social media chatter is a prime example of how the American Church has lost its way. However, on a more personal note, I have a lot of history and connection that helps me to deeply understand what’s happening in this song. That drive for connection, that willingness to put myself in horrible places to find it, the feeling of dirtiness and the running away from it...and especially the now often used intimate metaphor “call me by your name,” referring to the book/move of that title...I’ve been there. I even embraced it for a time. So more than most, I am more inclined to have compassion on those who are in that place, even if they don’t see the fruitlessness of it. The Lord has been good to me. He was with me in that place, just as he is with me now. It is important for all who call themselves Christians to remember that before we judge, we must seek empathy and compassion, fullness of understanding, and most of all, the heart and mind of Jesus himself.

#culture #review

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cafephan · 8 years ago

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dan and phil play the yasuhati singing challenge: a summary

first of all can i just say i've been hoping for a singing video literally since the day the gaming channel was announced and if they use this as an opportunity to take the piss i'm unstanning so fast i can't even say anything about the intro because... okay dan they'd best try to sing properly i can take this game as long as they properly try to sing "the game that almost got our neighbours to call the police and we're back doing it again because we don't care anymore" because you're moving?????????? "after watching the footage i didn't know i could physically make those noises" they went through the comments to look for songs,,,, you all best not have let me down i already have firm ideas about the most popular requests "this is going to be a disaster, i hope you're ready for the best and worst video you may ever see in your life." phil sings my heart will go on in the shower dan's face suggests he is well aware of that fact "do i have to sing it in key?" // "you have to try" i'm going to be mad if he doesn't try after the first note i am already mad and dan is already traumatised "i could never open the door, celine dion is dead" "if i was on the titanic and someone was singing that, i'd push you off" i'm with dan on this one sorry phil the top comment is to sing dan's diss track is this actually happening oh my god it is okay people let's all sit back and enjoy this phil mouths along with him that's so cute i am also mouthing along with him as i assume you are too but phil is cuter than all of us freakishly tool you look like a noodle, you've got hair that was cool in 2007 and wet you just look like a noodle he's just in a noodle state of mind it seems i'm sad phil didn't do his wink at the shipping with friend line he fails the game during the reasons why dans a fail rap,,, honestly i relate that's the one part i can never do either subtle boaster dan is back oh god danger men at work people,,,, thank you but also why "tatinof isn't over yet!" dan pls dan is mouthing the words along with phil this time whilst also doing little shovey forward hand movements dan struggles to contain his laughter and phil shushes him truly iconic phil goes wrong and dan can't help but correct him dan's doing his exaggerated crying face that he does in main channel videos i think he's physically cringing dan's hair is particularly fluffy and i am living for it why has phil's voice suddenly gone squeaky "phil you need to work on your subtlety. you go straight full loudness" stop talking over each other please i'm begging you it's incredibly hard to summarise when you do this "the phil without a chill" "i'm so sick of dan watching remixes of this song, it's all i hear in this apartment" maybe you shouldn't spend every waking moment in the same room then pal their collab attempt ends just as soon as ig begins the 'help me' dan says in the middle of his 'singing' accurately represents me right now trying to summarise the damn thing there are no words for this "i feel like the police are on their way" honey you've made worse noises on a louder scale trust me you're fine shout out to the shaved sides though hello they don't know the neighbour who's on the other side of the office wall "it could be a bedroom..." // "rip that person's marriage" aaand now we're into the requests i knew would come up "gerard isn't dead. his dream is" there are going to be some pissed off people in the comments section of this video aren't there is phil's voice breaking already or is the microphone just not knowing how to handle it "in tune!" dan represents me screaming at the laptop screen every time they open their mouths during this video phil keeps switching between philippa and back to himself again and it's lowkey fic inspo "this is the worst experience of my life" you're telling me dan, you're telling me we've all seen you both singing toxic whilst drunk don't hide from your past "i regret ever listening to my chemical romance because of that one experience just now, you have just ruined my life" phil is choosing one for dan there's another request i saw coming "let's keep with this theme" what theme are you referring to there danny boy honestly just take a second to imagine dan singing shout out to my ex now that would be quality content anyway "make it more tuneful than my welcome to the black parade" // "is that hard" this is not what we had in mind when we write singer/band aus "you spat everywhere, so much saliva" "you sound like a cow" phil the savage "oh my god what am i witnessing" phil honestly same try summarising it it's more difficult than you think "i can't produce the breath" i'm sure i've written that line of dialogue before dan thank you for bringing my work to life "it's over" phil says as he places a sad hand on dan's back how many of you are freaking out over that contact "i wish this was the dan and phil actually trying to sing beautiful songs that you care about experience that you crave. this is the opposite of that" YOU'RE TELLING ME DANIEL YOU'RE TELLING ME i feel hurt "some people in the future might enjoy this music" // "that future shouldn't exist" one more a duet to finish off aaaand here we go with toxic will it be better than that infamous drunk karaoke video probably not but let's see "we've been building up to this moment for our entire lives, dan. we can do it" "your breast britney" says dan and phil is right there to drag him for it like the absolute savage he keeps proving himself to be this is definitely going to be someone's ringtone i can't wait for the new and updated dan and phil singing compilation 'with the taste of your lips i'm on a hide' okay dan phil is not into this at all until it gets to the bits between verses he's all about those parts phil chooses to go high and dan chooses to go low interesting do what you will with that information, smut writers, interpret that any way you like they nearly beat the high score no you definitely didn't sing the lyrics correctly dan but you did well "i went into my own little universe then" was it a universe of not giving a tiny rats ass, phil, because it seemed like it "i think i'm gonna lose my voice for about a month now" // "i feel like i've eaten a horse" "i'd be surprised if we've got any subscribers left after that" i'm just sad you let me down with having singing in the title and not giving me what i've been craving for years dan tries to push the video and blame onto us nice how responsible "i feel like we should never do this again" i agree "that's the end of this channel, maybe" well you brought it upon yourselves if it is "give us a thumbs up if you enjoyed our beautiful tones" how dare you mock me "less screamy content" "hope you're having a good day and your ears aren't broken" no but my heart and trust is danisnotintune aSCREAMINGphil

#gaming vid summaries

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