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emeren · 4 years ago

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speed racer- eren jaeger

pairing: eren jaeger x fem!reader

word count: 6k

content warnings: nsfw, smut, 18+, smoking, degradation, overstimulation, breeding (w/o baby talk)

notes: 100% inspired by the official art, like mmm yes please. also i know absolutely nothing about how car racing works, but that’s not important. this is unedited because my brain turned to mush writing it. enjoy!! <3

SUMMARY: eren’s a semi-professional car racer, who has a tumultuous friendship with the reader. after losing a race, eren sets out to win something else in his life, much to the reader’s surprise.

“took you long enough!” sasha called out, holding her hand above her eyes in an attempt to block out the bright sun. you dished her a smile, weaving your way through the throngs of people in the stands, attempting not to step on anyone. your eyes briefly flitted to the track, the assistants distantly getting their cars ready. they were hardly visible from here; merely faceless figures idling around. you heaved out a sigh as you reached sasha, the brunette gingerly patting the spot next to her.

“you couldn’t have gotten better seats, sash?” you asked as you sat down, pushing your sunglasses on top of your head. sasha waved her large bag of popcorn in front of your face, an exasperated expression on her features.

“the line was long, and what’s a race without popcorn?” she grinned, offering you the bag. you rolled your eyes but took a fistful of the bright yellow snack nonetheless. “plus, if you really wanted that good of seats, you would’ve come early yourself.”

“i did come here early,” you retorted, your voice muffled by the popcorn. sasha raised a questioning brow, her elbow nudging you in the side.

“getting here early just so you can poke around the racer’s quarters is not the same thing,” she singsonged, a girlish smirk on her face. you scoffed, turning away from her as you felt heat race to your cheeks. “c’mon, everyone knows you and eren are totally into each other. i don’t understand why you guys don’t just go for it.”

“i wasn’t poking around, and i am not into eren,” you said, shifting uncomfortably as the words left your mouth. it was true, to some degree. the two of you had been friends in high school, back when eren was just some skinny kid with anger issues. now he was a semi-professional racer, and the rivalry between the two of you was palpable, to say the least.

you’d been in the same friend group and for some reason eren just loved to pick on you whenever he got the chance. you suspected it had something to do with his repressed daddy issues or whatever, and he’d known mikasa and armin far too long to be so catty with them. initially they were just playful taunts, but as you got older, they started to become more personal. with age came your own unchecked need to banter and argue with him.

somewhere along the way the arguments turned to sexual tension. a sexual tension that for the most part, the two of you were happy to ignore. it allowed room for a more sassy friendship, at least.

“uh huh, suuure,” sasha responded, seemingly unconvinced. she must’ve sensed your discomfort, deciding to change the topic. “who’s who?”

your eyes traced the track, analyzing each vehicle. “armin’s in yellow, mikasa’s in red, eren’s in white, and i believe levi is in green.”

“levi’s racing? isn’t he getting a little old for that?” sasha laughed, squinting. you chuckled.

“it’s just a small fundraiser race, plus he’s a crowd favorite over here,” you explained. sasha nodded as she processed the information. the sun was hot, beating down on your back. “i’m honestly surprised this many people came out.”

sasha tossed more popcorn in her mouth, halfway done with the bag despite the race still not having started. she offered it to you again. “mhm, this is the same type of crowd that we’d see in the underground.”

you thought back to your days of attending the illegal races, late at night and under the cover of darkness. though you were just a junior in college, it felt like those nights freshman year had been decades ago. that was before eren showed real promise in the professional circuit. it was also where levi scouted him out to be his successor.

as if on cue, you could see the figures of the racers emerging from the port, each headed for their respective cars. you couldn’t help the way your gaze immediately followed the tall, brown haired racer adorned in his white racing jacket, checkers on the side. the crowd erupted into cheers at the sight of the all the racers, one from each color of the rainbow. eren walked with a certain confidence, his adamant determination being one of the only things that followed him from high school.

though you couldn’t clearly see his face from where you sat, you knew he was smiling. eren had always loved the adrenaline rush before a race.

“alright ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you to the annual shiganshina fundraiser race!” the reporter boomed over the intercom. sasha squealed in her seat, excitedly gripping your arm and pointing towards your friends. you felt a mix of excited nervousness waft over you, giggling along with her. “today we’ve got racers from all over the circuit, and each one has volunteered their precious time for the cause. can we get a round of applause?”

the crowd erupted in yet another ear deafening round of applause as the announcer read off the names of each of the racers. you and sasha made sure to scream your loudest when armin, mikasa, and eren’s names were read off.

you hoped they knew it was you, your throat scratchy as you sat back down. there was no need to be loud for levi; the entire crowd went absolutely feral at the mention of his name.

the announcer read off the conditions of the race, as well as the reasoning for the fundraiser itself. you and sasha chatted quietly about the after party while the racers put their helmets on and got in their cars. before too long, the announcer was gearing up for the start.

“alright everyone, we’re about to start. get yourselves ready.”

you and sasha stood, hollering and cheering for your friends as the cars all lined up. you knew you’d be happy if any of them crossed the finish line first, but it was undeniable that it would be eren. it wasn’t armin or mikasa’s passion like it was eren’s; they viewed it more as as fun hobby. nevertheless, you dreaded how smug eren would be once he added another win to his already growing list. he really was a bastard sometimes.

“racers ready your cars. 3... 2... 1... go!”

they were off, levi’s green car easily settling into first place, cruising past the other cars as he whipped around the first curve. you held your breath, eyes scanning the other cars placements. eren was in fourth, armin in fifth, and mikasa in second. sasha yelled sporadically, reaching out and squeezing your wrist tightly.

as they rounded the circuit for the second time, eren passed the third place racer, coming up behind mikasa’s red car. you held your breath. “c’mon eren...”

“shit! he passed her!” sasha screeched, jumping up and down. you smiled as he whipped the corner, nearly cutting the edge of the median.

“levi is still so far ahead,” you commented, trying to pry sasha’s death grip from your wrist. your eyes glanced to the clock, realizing that the race was near its finish. levi was cutting the third corner and eren was quickly gaining on him.

“looks like it’s gonna be clo-” sasha’s voice was cut off as a large man tripped over the bleacher behind you, effectively shoving you into her side. “shit, the popcorn!”

you regained your balance, giving the man behind you a dirty glare as you turned to sasha. she frowned at the popcorn that’d been spilled all over the ground. “what a waste!”

looking back up at the track, the crowd broke into screams of excitement. you expected to see eren’s face on the big screen to the side as confetti streamed through the air, but were surprised to see levi’s unimpressed stare.

eren lost?

“you’ve gotta be shitting me,” sasha gaped, her face slack in shock. you shrugged, shaking the feeling of disappointment from your shoulders. serves him right.

people started to vacate the stands, shoving their way past you as you turned to sasha. “let’s go find connie and jean, sash.”

she nodded, still frowning. the two of you climbed down the steps, going against the flow of the crowd as you weaseled your way down onto the spectators path. you could see all of the racers shaking hands, congratulating each other. your mind briefly considered whether or not eren was going to be upset, but you decided not to dwell on it.

you watched as the racers disappeared into the tunnel, eren’s tall figure no longer in view. just then, connie and jean came walking out from the service booth, both wearing their maintenance coveralls.

sasha wildly waved her arm, grabbing your hand and pulling you through the remaining stragglers towards your friends.

“hey guys!” she smiled, the boys jogging to meet you halfway.

“why were you guys in such shit seats?” connie asked, skipping over a greeting. you let out a small laugh at sasha’s expense. she merely shrugged, turning to jean.

“we going to your place?” you questioned before she had the chance. jean nodded, adjusting the backwards baseball cap on his head.

“yeah, just gotta wrap some things up, then we can head out,” he replied. you grew happy at the thought of kicking back with your friends, enjoying a nice night of fun. parties at jean and connie’s place were always the best.

***************

“some race that was,” connie groaned, leaning back and bringing the beer bottle to his lips. so far it was just you, sasha, connie, jean, and a bunch of random drunk people who’d come from the track. sasha scoffed from her spot on the worn, brown couch.

“you could say that again,” she grumbled. “we didn’t even get to see levi cross the finish line ‘cause some guy rammed into us.”

jean looked at you from where he leaned against the wall, a bottle in his hand and his eyebrows raised. “wait, for real?”

“yeah,” you sighed, drinking whatever bitter liquid sasha had poured into your red solo cup. “didn’t even say sorry.”

“how many times do i have to tell you guys, just come work maintenance with jean-boy and i,” connie suggested, wrapping his arm around sasha’s shoulder and giving a squeeze. she rolled her eyes and shoved him off. “you guys would get to watch the race from the track itself.”

“i don’t know the first thing about cars,” sasha laughed, you nodding along with her.

“and you think we do? i just said that so we could get the best seats in the house,” connie snorted, taking another swig of his drink. you chuckled at his idiocy, unfazed by yet another one of their stupid stunts. “where’re the big racers anyway?”

“they should be here soon,” you responded, glancing out the window. jean was unironically blasting the fast and the furious soundtrack, something he’d done after every race for as long as you’d known him. by now the songs were ingrained in your brain.

“who wants to bet jaeger is in a pissy mood?” jean snorted as he moved to sit down on the arm of the chair you were planted in.

“when isn’t he?” you sneered. connie and sasha hummed in agreement. both you and jean loved nothing more than to push eren’s buttons. you knew jean’s motives stemmed from some boyish fun, whereas yours felt a little more personal.

the sound of clapping began to compete with the music, your neck craning to look past jean into the hallway. eren, armin, and mikasa came into view, people cheering them on and patting them on the back. they each wore their racing jackets over their street clothes.

you felt a familiar sensation burn in your stomach at the sight of eren. his dark hair was pulled back per usual, wispies framing his tan face. The white jacket stood out against his black t-shirt and black jeans; key necklace he always wore glinting against his chest. as your gaze travelled up from his body, you were startled to make contact with his teal eyes. you quickly glanced away in embarrassment.

“well, well, well,” jean cheered, raising his bottle to the trio. “how’d it feel to lose to a short, old man, eh jaeger?”

eren scowled, obviously peeved. “if i had to lose to anyone, i’m glad it was levi.”

connie snorted at that. “man, professional circuit has you soft.”

“whatever you say, baldie,” eren smirked mischievously as he came to sit down on the couch. connie defensively rubbed his head. “at least i’m making money in prof.”

“i still can’t believe you have people that actually want to sponsor you,” you snipped, a playful expression on your face. eren lazily looked towards you, the familiar irritation laced in his eyes.

“i’m sorry, what was that? i wasn’t listening to you,” eren retorted, looking as unbothered as ever. you glared at his words, but caught armin’s disapproving eye and decided to stay quiet.

as the night carried on, you watched your friends relax and reminisce about previous races and the days spent in the illegal ring. it seemed crazy that your life was so centered around car races, when you weren’t even a racer yourself. but you supposed you were just happy to be supporting your friends.

at some point you got up out of your chair to refill your cup. the large hoards of people had started to dance; the house feeling hot and humid as you shoved your way to the kitchen. luckily the room was empty, save for armin who was drinking water out of the kitchen tap.

“thirsty?” you asked, amused. his head snapped up, surprised by your voice. it took one look to tell he was absolutely trashed, face red and eyes half lidded. he smiled goofily and nodded his head before stumbling back out into the crowd of people.

you quickly filled your cup, following the direction armin had gone. as you stepped out of the kitchen, a body came out of nowhere and smacked into you.

eren jumped back, trying to avoid the liquid that sloshed out of your cup. “hey, watch it!” he hissed.

“you watch it, casanova,” you snapped, irritated by the sticky alcohol that dripped down your hand. eren’s eyes narrowed at the nickname, his arms defensively crossing his chest.

“i told you not to call me that,” he bit back, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. you rolled your eyes, instinctively bringing your hand to your mouth in an attempt to lick the drink off. eren watched you, his gaze clouded with an indiscernible emotion. you knew what you were doing.

“hm. too bad,” you quipped, dragging your tongue down the side of your hand, popping your pointer finger in your mouth. eren glowered at you as you let out a giggle. “see ya, loser.”

“whatever, brat,” he huffed, shaking the tension from his pants as you sauntered off into the crowd. he hated the effect you had on him.

you’d already decided not to get shit faced. while the rest of your friends had chosen otherwise, you danced alongside them, your resolve wearing thin much faster than theirs. jean and sasha bounced happily up and down, screaming the lyrics to whatever song it was blasting from the speakers. connie and mikasa were playing beer pong, and you had no clue where armin and eren had gone.

you heaved in a breath as a sharp pain shot through your side, signaling the end of your dancing career for the night. your two dance partners were too far gone to notice, waving goodbye to you as you stepped out of the sweaty crowd.

slipping your phone out of your pocket, your eyes nearly popped from your head at the time. two thirty?!

only slightly tipsy, you decided to find jean’s room and call it a night. he’d just have to sleep on the couch. with one hand dragging on the wall, you made your way through the house, past armin who was doing body shots with a couple of strangers, up the stairs and down the dark hall. it was quieter up here, but you could still hear the music and knew it’d be awhile till sleep visited you.

shoving jean’s door open, you were surprised to see none other than eren laid back on the bed, puffs of smoke coming from his mouth. the strong scent of weed hit your nostrils, nose scrunching up in reflex. he propped himself up on one arm upon your entrance, eyeing you.

“oh, sorry i’ll just- wait a minute,” you paused, narrowing your eyes at him. “you aren’t supposed to be smoking on your sponsorship.”

eren let out a loud laugh at that, more smoke spilling from his lungs. “thanks, mom. i know.”

you stood in the doorway, not really sure what to do. “jean’s gonna be mad if his room smells like weed tomorrow.”

“yeah, why do you think i chose to do it in here?” he leered, bringing the blunt to his lips and deeply inhaling, sharp cheekbones protruding with the action. you sucked in a breath, not wanting to acknowledge just how gorgeous he was. his jacket was off, black shirt tightly gripping his muscular yet slender arms as he propped himself up. he blew the smoke from his nostrils this time, making your face heat. “wanna hit?”

you sighed, weighing the options. jean’s bed was a lot more comfortable than connie’s. you could just wait till eren was done, and then pass out. “no, but i’ll wait with you till you’re done.”

“suit yourself, brat,” eren hummed, flopping back down on the bed as you shut the door behind yourself. you came to sit by him, looking down as he heaved in a sober breath. he really is beautiful, you thought.

your eyes scanned his face. “you really shouldn’t be smoking, you know. you could lose the sponsorship.”

eren rolled his teal eyes, giving you a side glance. “i’m aware. i’m also aware that you aren’t going to rat on me.”

“and what makes you so sure?” you asked playfully, your voice low. eren’s gaze shifted to you, placing the blunt between his lips as he sat up, face inches from yours.

“because. you can act like you hate me all you want,” smoke blew from his lips as he spoke, slowly inching his face closer to yours. you swallowed, eyes struggling to maintain contact with his dark stare. “but i know how badly you want me.”

you blinked, heart rate accelerating as he glanced at your lips. “speaking from experience?”

eren’s mouth quirked up in a smirk at your words. “something like that.”

you watched with desire as he brought the bud of the blunt up to his lips, deeply inhaling the toxic smoke. he lifted his free hand, pointer finger gently tracing your jaw as his thumb came up to caress your chin. he tapped softly against your face, as if asking you to open your mouth.

you weren’t sure what part of you was wanting to submit to his every move. maybe it was the alcohol. or maybe it was the accumulation of sexual tension. something told you it was a deeper itch that needed to be scratched. an itch only eren could reach.

you parted your lips, eyes fluttering as eren leaned forward and carefully brushed his own against yours, dumping his lungful of smoke into your mouth. you breathed it in, fighting the urge to cough and whine as he pulled away.

“good girl,” he breathed, leaning away to snuff the bud out on jean’s bedside table. you heaved out as much as you could, shocked by your own willingness. you were mainly surprised by how much you enjoyed whatever that was.

you stared at him expectantly as he turned back to you, a serious expression on his face. “eren.”

“yes?” he asked, leaning heavily on his arm, eyes unashamedly focused on your lips. his other hand came up again, lightly ghosting your jawline. you could feel yourself growing wet between your legs; the way eren was fucking you with his eyes sending an unwelcomed throb to your clit.

acting on impulse, you lurched forward, latching your lips onto eren’s slightly chapped ones. he wasted no time in kissing you back; hungrily pressing himself closer to your body. his lips were warm and tasted like weed and coca cola, his tongue wiggling its way into your mouth where you happily welcomed it.

you brought your hand up, wanting to run your fingers through his hair, but were stopped when they got caught in the bun. eren grunted, kissing you harder and bringing his own hand up to yank the tie from his locks, letting his soft hair fall to his shoulders.

your fingers were quick to glide through the brown strands, scratching his scalp in the process. some throaty sound emitted from his chest, the noise making your cunt ache in need. how is he so hot?

eren’s hands came to your waist, roughly shoving you down onto the bed, so that he hovered above you. your lips continued to meld together, saliva coated mouths wetly intertwined. you removed your hand from his hair, bringing both hands to run down the expanse of his arms that were on either side of your head. you squeezed his biceps, surprised when he suddenly pulled away.

“is this okay?” he panted, breaths labored. his pupils were dilated, all seriousness behind his gaze. you nodded your head without hesitation, practically begging him to continue. “words.”

“yes, yes. i want this just as much as you do,” you responded. eren smirked from above you, his dark hair swirling around his face as his key dangled in front of your chin.

“good, because,” he leaned down to your ear, lightly nibbling the lobe as the cold key rested against your throat. “i’m going to punish you for all these years of torture.”

your eyes widened, the words sending a desirable chill down your spine. “torture?”

eren’s hot mouth travelled slowly from your ear down the side of your neck, lightly peppering the skin with lustful kisses. his tongue came out as he reached your collarbone, dragging the wet muscle up the front of your throat, leaving a trail of saliva in its wake. a small whimper involuntarily left your mouth as he pulled back, grabbing your chin in his large hand.

“all of the nicknames,” he pressed a kiss to your lips. “the quips,” and another, your chest tightening. “the stunt you pulled earlier with your hand. oh god. it’s like you were practically begging me to bend you over and teach you a lesson.”

he pulled back, dark eyes boring into yours. the desire was palpable, your breathing shallow as he stared at you. it was like he was waiting for some silent agreement.

you held eye contact, tilting your chin back ever so slightly in his grip. “good thing i learn fast.”

your words flew straight to his cock, throbbing uncomfortably behind his jeans. eren let go of your chin, his lips hungrily reconnecting with yours as his hands pinned your wrists to either side of your head. his tongue was quick to invite itself into your mouth, warm and erotic.

you wanted to tug on his hair again; wanted to hear his primal groans and feel him vibrate against your mouth, but you were pinned to the bed. desperate to hear eren moan, your teeth grazed his bottom lip, the action making him yank his head back.

“tsk tsk, none of that,” he growled, wet lips glinting in the low light of the room. “this is your punishment. guess we’re going to have to do something else.”

you frowned as he let go of your wrists, lifting himself from the bed and standing. you propped yourself up on your elbows, eyes laced with desire as eren swiftly pulled the black shirt over his head, key pendant resting on his newly exposed chest. he was dangerously attractive like this; dark hair disheveled on his shoulders, only adding to the feral stare he was giving you.

he leaned forward, grabbing your thighs and yanking you to the end of the bed, legs dangling from the side. you watched in awe as he dropped to his knees, fingers coming up to toy with the button of your jean shorts.

“these little shorts make your ass look so good,” he grumbled, tapping the button. “be good and take them off for me.”

you wasted no time in lifting your ass off the bed, struggling to yank the denim down your legs without hitting eren in the face. he watched your every movement, licking his lips as you wiggled them off.

without thinking, your hands gripped the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head to reveal a black bra. eren’s pupils dilated further at the unexpected sight of your breasts.

he helped pull the shorts from your ankles, tossing them aside as you sat back down, just in your panties and bra. you paused for a moment, unsure of what he was planning to do.

“watch me,” he demanded, staring at you through his brows. you nodded your head, breath hitching as he placed an open mouthed kiss to the inside of your thigh, tongue swiping against the smooth skin.

his eyelashes fluttered as he licked up your leg; just the way he looked at you being enough to have you creaming in your lace panties. your teeth tugged at your bottom lip, the burning in your face mirroring the way your clit throbbed along with your heart beat.

eren’s tongue trailed until he reached the edge of your underwear, eyes never failing to stay connected with yours. you swallowed as he lifted his head, placing his tongue flatly against your clothed clit.

it was a warm, muted feeling, your body all too aware of the beautiful man between your legs. eren brought his fingers up, hooking under the fabric and pushing it to the side.

“so wet for me already,” he hummed, a smile on his face. you blushed in embarrassment, the feeling of his breath on your glistening pool of moisture making you shiver. “’m gonna eat you so good, little bitch.”

you gasped as eren rapidly brought his face down, burying his head between your legs. the sensation was like no other; a swirling feeling in your stomach as his tongue hungrily swiped against your clit. your hands flew down to his hair, tugging as his lips wrapped around the bud, suckling softly.

a moan escaped your lips, the sound causing eren to groan out in reply. the vibration of his vocal cords against your center amplifying the pleasure.

a distinct feeling began to burn in your chest, the sloppiness of eren’s tongue licking up your slick causing your legs to squirm, tightening around his head. “fuck.”

eren pulled back at the pressure against his skull, a smack sounding through the air as he released his suction on your wet cunt.

“i told you to be good,” he hissed, lips coated in your sheen. you knew the image of eren’s face between your legs, hair disheveled and mouth swollen, eyes dark and lustrous, would be burned into the back of your brain.

flustered, you nodded your head, spreading your legs so they weren’t pressing against his face. he nodded in content, arms coming up to wrap around your thighs to keep you steady.

and he was back; eating your pussy like he hadn’t been fed in years, a primal desperation. he pressed his tongue down harder, the cry ripping from your throat at the sensation only egging him on. you struggled against his grip as he abused your clit with his mouth, sucking and tracing his teeth over it so good.

his tongue slid down to your entrance, shoving itself in without invitation. the fullness wasn’t like having sex; it was a heated, swirling feeling. the wet muscle circled around your spongey walls, your face beginning to burn and hands growing clammy in eren’s hair.

you threw your head back as his ministrations sped up, your hips attempting to grind into his face. the warmth in the pit of your stomach building like a loaded gun, ready to release itself.

all it took was the added pressure of his hand wrapping around your thigh so that his thumb could press against your clit, feverishly rubbing. you came crashing down, your eyes screwing shut as the wave of dopamine stretched to every part of your body, legs jerking against his hold.

eren pulled his head back again, a smile on his wet face as he licked your release from his lips. “tasted so good, so good for me.”

you breathed out in reply as he came back up above you, gently taking your chin and bringing his mouth down to yours.

the kiss was small and simple, your eye lids growing heavy. you could taste your bitter release on him, the unfamiliar flavor not completely unpleasant.

“sleepy?” eren mumbled against your lips, coming back to look at you. you nodded your head, eyes catching on the key that dangled from his neck. “too bad. we aren’t done with your punishment yet.”

you frowned, your body suddenly more awake than it was before. “huh?” you asked, sitting up as eren shifted to pull his jeans off.

you weren’t sure what you expected when he yanked both his jeans and boxers down; you guessed you’d always thought his anger issues were compensation for something. the realization dawned on you that eren had nothing to compensate for as his cock sprung from his pants, the sheer size making your mouth water.

a smirk crossed his face as he stepped from his jeans. “enjoying the view?”

“what? no,” you scoffed, averting your gaze. eren crawled back over you, his bare length pressing into your stomach as his hands came up to unclasp your bra.

“don’t be shy, this is your punishment after all,” he whispered, pulling the cups from your chest. his eyes unashamedly scanned your breasts, a smile tugging his lips as he gave them a generous squeeze.

you tried to ignore the imprint of him on your stomach; but it was nearly impossible. you could feel the spot between your legs grow wet again, arousal already weaseling its way back into your system.

eren brought his lips to yours once again, the kisses much sloppier and desperate than before. he grunted as you shifted to lay back down, his exposed dick rubbing against your stomach. “can’t wait to be inside of you,” he mumbled against your lips.

you whimpered at his words, his lips melding with your own while he simultaneously tugged your panties down your legs. he propped himself up with one arm, the other positioning the tip of his cock at the entrance of your already throbbing cunt.

you took a deep breath as he slowly eased himself into you; the sheer stretch making your eyes lull back in your head. eren moved his hips slowly at first, loosening you up. he was watching your expressions; his eyelids heavy and mouth slightly agape.

“shit, you’re so tight,” he groaned, hips starting to move faster as he gazed down at you. you swallowed, closing your eyes as he sent one particularly hard thrust, cock nearly ramming your cervix. “you good?”

“mhm,” you responded, bringing your hands up to grab his hair. “just so big.”

eren let out a breathy chuckle at that, eyes traveling down to your pelvis where his dick was visibly creating a bump with every thrust. he placed his hand on your stomach, pressing down as he bucked his hips violently forwards. he was so deep.

you cried out at the feeling of his length sliding in and out of your cunt, your walls clenching around him as your hands clawed at his muscular back.

he was filling you up so good, a moan leaving his lips as your enhanced arousal unexpectedly brought your second orgasm down, tears pricking your eyes. eren kept abusing your pussy, his thrusts growing senseless before he buried himself deep within you, releasing his load inside of your exhausted center.

both of your breathing was labored, eren looking up at the ceiling. his face was flushed as he recovered, you laying limply beneath him trying to regain your composure yourself.

“that felt so good,” you admitted, bringing your hand up from his back to caress his angular face. eren frowned at your words, large hand grabbing your wrist and removing it from his jawline.

“m’not tired yet,” he said seriously, your eyes widening as he placed a chaste kiss to your lips. your fucked out face beneath him had his dick already hardening again. “m’not gonna be tired till i win.”

he suddenly pulled up, hooking his hands under your knees and pushing your legs up by your head. the action strained your muscles, the feeling of eren’s cum dripping down your ass filling your head as he readied himself to fuck you senseless.

he stared at your cunt; at the way his cum was oozing out of it, the abused pussy ready to take him in again. he used his fingers to catch the drip, forcing it back inside of you. the thought of filling you up all nice and pretty sent him over the edge, his hand shamelessly guiding his cock back inside of you.

eren was meaner this time; each thrust was deep and deliberate, hitting your cervix and making you cry out in pleasure. the burning sensation in your clit was overwhelming, your mouth hanging open as eren slowly fucked you stupid.

“good, pretty girl” eren breathed out, ramming his hips into yours. “took her punishment like such a good girl.”

you tried to nod your head, but you couldn’t move. the feeling of hot, sticky tears rolled down your face, eren’s cock deep within you almost too much to bear. he grabbed your chin, tongue swiping up your cheek as he savored the salty flavor on his tastebuds. this man and his licking.

“tell me, did you learn your lesson?” eren grunted in your ear, hand still gripping your chin. you tried to form a sentence, fucked beyond words. “hm, use your words and i’ll let you cum.”

one more deep thrust and his dick stopped its strokes, pausing within you. “yes... yes.”

“yes what?”

your tongue was heavy in your mouth, pussy all too aware of eren’s length within it. “i learned my lesson, you won.”

he smirked, aggressively bucking his hips into your weak cunt, the action making you cry out as he rammed your cervix. the tears continued to roll down your cheeks as eren’s dick twitched, spurting the his seed into you. your third release followed his, your clit spasming from the overstimulation.

eren heaved himself out of you, collapsing deftly onto the bed. the two of you sat in a heated silence, your face sticky from the tears. eren glanced to you, eyes trailing down your body.

“i’ll get a rag,” he mumbled, shoving off the bed and walking into jean’s bathroom. you were beyond exhausted and knew that you’d be sore tomorrow. eren reemerged, quickly cleaning you up and handing you your shirt.

your eyes lazily watched him as he walked over and locked the door; brain too tired to form a sentence.

he must’ve noticed your concern. “we can sleep in here tonight; i don’t think you’re in any shape to move.”

you carefully crawled into the sheets, not even bothering to put your shirt back on. eren followed suit, climbing in behind you.

“night,” he whispered as he shut the bedside light off. your lids were growing heavy, a smile on your lips as you began to fall asleep.

“night, casanova.”

<3 <3 <3

#eren jaeger #eren jeager smut #eren jeager x reader #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren #eren x reader #eren smut #eren yaeger x reader #eren yaeger smut #eren jäger #this is so bad im sorry

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feral-dumbass · 4 years ago

Text

Dream a Little Dream of Me

James “Bucky” Barnes/ Reader

Summary: During a sex dream, you wake up Bucky and he decides to help you out.

Words:1,494

Includes: Breeding kink, Dirty talk, Unprotected sex, hint of cockwarming

A/N: This isn’t my best, but also not my worst. Title credit to Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. Tagging my homies @babybluestan @gagmebucky @heresyoursnackdumbass

Masterlist

You’re fidgeting in your sleep. It’s when you turn around for the second time and toss yourself out of Bucky’s arms that he wakes up.

“What’s up, babe?” He rubs the heel of his palm into his eye. He’s so used to you waking him if he’s not already up. He gets silence in reply. He looks over your shoulder to see you still sleeping. “Of course.” He just hopes he can go back to bed.

Bucky’s had the worst sleep schedule ever with your late night at the lab. He hasn’t been able to sleep until you come to bed and even still then that’s only a few hours before he has cardio with Sam and Steve or sparring with Natasha. It’s been rough to say the least. Bucky was ready to start sleeping on the lab couch when you finally finished the fucking project. Then Stark said you could have his cabin for two weeks. Bucky didn’t know whether to get on his knees and thank the man or kiss him. Not that he’d tell a soul that the thought crossed his mind.

Bucky gets pulled out of his thoughts as you search for contact from him. He’d find it endearing if you weren’t pressing your ass against his crotch… and rubbing your ass against him. Great, now he’s hard as you settle down.

“Mmmph, Bucky.” You mumble in your sleep and Bucky’s never been happier for super hearing. “So good.” Bucky is ecstatic. Loves the fact you're having a wet dream about him. He can’t help but to wonder what you're dreaming about. He certainly knows you’ve got a selection to pick from. He feels a little bad for what he’s about to do, but knows it’ll be worth it for the both of you.

“Pretty girl?” He asks as he pulls you closer to his chest, careful of your hair. “Love of my life?” He kisses your cheek. “My sweet baby?” Kisses your temple. “Center of my universe?” Kisses the sensitive space right underneath your ear. “My reason for living?” He squeezes your cheeks and lathers the side of your face in kisses.

“Bucky.” You’re words muffled with pursed lips. You tap on his wrist holding your face. He lets go and kisses the empty spaces.You stretch out your jaw.

“Sorry, honey. Just love you so much.” He kisses the corner of your mouth and you turn your head to kiss him fully.

“Love you too.” You manage to get out before Bucky’s groping a breast. You gasp.

“Heard you were having a wet dream. Wanna share?” He trails his hand down your stomach and massages the outer side of your thigh.

“Bit of a blur, honestly. Our honeymoon in Paris.” He groans against your back as he lifts your knee over his leg. “Dreamt of that giant bathtub. Created quite a few memories in there.” Bucky drags his hand across the top of your knee and slowly starts to massage his way up.

“Fuck yeah we did. Remind me.”

“Well, there was that time I rode you. That practically impossible time my legs were outside of the tub.” Bucky hasn’t realized he’s been rumbling this whole entire time. “You’re dick felt so good. I don’t think there was a surface we didn’t fuck on.”

“I made sure of that, baby.” He kissed your neck.

Your breath hitches as Bucky’s now digging into your inner thigh close to where you want him most. “Also thought- thought about how you ate me out one night.”

“I do know how to make my girl feel good. Don’t I?”

“Absolutely. My legs were shaking afterwards and I still had to shove you off me. You don’t know when to stop.”

“Maybe we can recreate that later today.” Bucky mentions before he’s digging his fingers into your sex, smearing your wetness around. “Love how this pussy gets so fucking wet for me.”

“Fuck.” Your mouth opens in surprise before groaning out.

“Love how vocal you get. Keep ‘em coming.” He slips in two fingers into you and starts pumping them.

“Bucky.” You gasp before grinding down on his fingers. In no time at all with Bucky’s skillful fingers, you get close. “Shit, ‘m coming.”

“Cum for me, angel.” Your orgasm hits you and Bucky continues to pump his fingers until he’s sure your high is over. Bucky kisses your cheek as he slips his fingers out.

“Well, good morning to you, too.”

Bucky chuckles. “Can’t start my day off right if I don’t treat my favorite girl well.” Bucky slips his hand in his boxers and uses the residual wetness to pump himself. You look over your shoulder at the commotion.

“Jesus, you could have just asked.” You reach around to pull his boxers down and Bucky helps. “Fuck me, Bucky.”

“Can’t argue with that logic.” He pumps himself a couple of times before sliding into your slick channel. The first slow slide into your velvet heat is what always takes Bucky out. You both groan out in unison at the different position. He needs to give himself time to recollect himself. He should know better. You’re impatient.You wiggle your hips and even try to flex your walls. “Ahh, Fuck.” His hand grips your hip.

“C’mon.” You whine. “You’re always so- oh.” Bucky doesn’t let you finish that sentence. He pulls his hips back and thrusts particularly deep.

“Wish you’d use that sassy mouth of yours to praise me.” Bucky tries to pick up speed, but he’s not going as fast as he could on his side.

“I-oh.” Clearly, you’re still enjoying it. “Just a little faster.”

“Really wish I could, babe.” Bucky gropes your ass. It’s not bad. Bucky just knows he’s not reaching his full potential.

“Position change?”

Bucky’s mouth runs dry as he nods. It takes him a few to realize you can’t see him. “Ye-yeah.” He slowly turns you on your stomach and he follows. He tugs your ass up more towards him.

“O-oh, this is new.” Bucky runs his hands over your back, massaging out knots from sleep. Enamoured, he digs his hands into your lower back as his eyes are glued to your ass. You gasp out. “Unbelievable, Bucky.” Bucky is so happy to have the movement to grope both ass cheeks.

“I’m sorry, sweet girl. You know I could look at this ass all day.” He smacks a wide palm down on your ass. You cry out in shock and bounce on his dick. His eyes roll back and he finds himself trying to recreate the friction.

Eventually, Bucky is fucking you in tandem. A tight grip on your supple hips. He throws your ass back to meet his thrusts. He’s groaning so loud. He can barely hear your moaning. He can’t help it when the pussy is this good.

“B-baby, right there. Please.” Bucky keeps the angle that’s making your eyes roll in the back of your head and fist the sheets. You’re gripping him so hard, he’s surprised he hasn’t cum already. Your moans will be ringing in his ears hours from now. Bucky keeps you in that angle with one hand as the other reaches underneath to rub your clit. He’s merciless, but he can’t help it. You sound so pretty. Bucky can’t help but to let his mind slip up.

“Make me a daddy, baby.” He rumbles out before he can stop himself.

“Wh-what?” Your shocked reply is the only thing you can get out before you’re clamping around him. Your orgasm hitting you unexpectedly. Bucky just continues his pace and keeps the angle as you see God.

Bucky hopes he didn’t just fuck up. Obviously, you have talked about children. You’re his wife. It’s not like he brought it up suddenly. You guys just haven't been actively trying. Besides, pussy’s too good to have apprehension about it now.

“I said make. Me. A. Daddy. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want a baby? A little piece of me for you to carry.” Bucky’s pretty sure his thrusts pick up more.

It takes you a few seconds to reply. Bucky hasn’t stopped rubbing your clit. “I-yeah. Wanna make you a daddy.” Bucky hovers over you. His free hand fisting the sheets near your head. “Bucky, please. C-Cum in me.”

Bucky’s groaning at that. His cock pumping you full of his cum. Your eyes roll back at the feeling and Bucky’s pretty sure you’ve cum again. He’s too out of it to tell for sure. He leaves your clit to fist the sheets on the other side too. This man is still cumming as he grinds his dick into you. “Holy shit.” He laughs.

“Best. Sex. Ever.” You flex your hand out of its iron grip on the sheets before raising it. Bucky chuckles as he high fives you. “Now pull out, so I can breathe.”

“No can do, babe.” He wiggles his hips a bit. “Gotta make sure my swimmers stick.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky / reader #bucky barnes/ reader #bucky barnes/ you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes imagine #marvel smut #marvel fanfiction #my writing

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years ago

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-04-02

Alright I’ll fix the broken images later right now lets goooooo read the updaaaate I’ve been only spoiled on the chapter title

I don’t even wanna guess. Jake? This makes me think of Jake for some reason, even though that doesn’t make much se-- oh right the Vriskas are locked in a school closet with a dead clown.

> CHAPTER 7. Distress Call From the Closet

Yep.

Also, this is how a car design looks when it was invented to have its first appearance be it flying with a human named Tavros looking out from an open side door.

(I’m not ENTIRELY against designing something for its immediate-art-use-purpose first and functional or historical-origination thought later, but usually when you make it that obvious that that’s what your doing it’s best to make that fact funny. Like the Conveniently Shaped Lamp.)

Also I appreciate this using of Candy as kind of more lighthearted breaks in the action?

> (==>)

I thoguht that protruding fang (?) was drool for a second and wondered what the fuck they were up to in this closet all of a sudden.

Vriska, thriving on it, has not felt so decadently alive in a very long time. Tavros has never in his tragic existence felt so close to death, which is surprising to him.

Vrissy is trying her best not to grapple with any cosmic truths at the moment, since she’s getting a phone call in the middle of hiding for her life.

Vrissy’s implied to be somewhere in-between all that by this joke. I bet she’ll be comparing herself to Vriska and Tavros alike throughout this mess, wondering where on the spectrum she lands and being ashamed of it AND both of them regardless. Vriska Original had a ghost version who went on a fair bit of a Page dress-up thing and personality shift, so maybe we could expect Vrissy to struggle with being caught in the middle of the scales... or does that qualify as overthinking it classpectways?

VRISSY: Yeah Harry I would say we are Extremely Aware of the Situ8ion. VRISSY: As it Unfolded the fuck all around us.

Good Christ, Vrissy’s selectively-capitalized Kanaya-isms continue to be cute.

Oh, he’s on speakerphone.

> (==>)

Yep, telling Rose and Kanaya would be the smart thing to do, but it isn’t the Them thing to do.

--ROXY’S PLACE?!?? Hoo boy. On the other hand, though, we get more Roxy, so it evens out.

Also, I like how Harry Anderson has to spell out Harry Anderson’s entire name for his Harry Anderson chat tag every single time. Harry Anderson.

> (==>)

Part of the reason, Tavros thinks, that he’s been so game to continue on with the worst plan anyone has ever concocted, is that the more bullshit they endure, the longer they can put off actually doing anything that matters.

If he’s getting sprayed with a sprinkler and getting clown feet in his face, it’s a farce. It can’t hurt him. But if they get to the part where he’s shoving the uncooperative weight of his uncle’s corpse in an incinerator, he will stop floating in protective semi-consciousness above his body and it will all be real.

Ouch.

Can’t one of you assholes just captchalogue him? Or did you leave all the appropriate-strength moduses at home? Even you Vriska??

Oh, right. Everyone knows and you can just leave him here. Good call. I mean you don’t really have to worry about forensic evidence with the pictures circulating.

> (==>)

VRISKA: 8ye 8itch.

Oooh! That feels satisfying! Yeah, tell off Gamzee’s corpse!

...Wait.

If they just leave Gamzee there, Jane can revive him, can’t she.

Fuck. Maybe it’s up to Jake to try and stop that.

> (==>)

Karkat and Meenah resistance-time, then, with them presumably hearing about this development on the internet. Wow, Meenah’s horns are getting long fast. Plus a hint more of her grown-up self’s height. I didn’t think she’d keep maturing so fast with her absurd lifespan ahead of her.

Oh shit, I didn’t see at first--

Right, Candy might still be lighthearted compared to the broader plot just due to lowered stakes, but it’s still the Carpet-Bombing-and-War-Filled Shituniverse.

Trolls are made for the battlefield.

From the moment a troll oozes out of the mother grub’s pulsating sphincter, through the trials of the brooding caverns, across the brutal day to day slog of Alternian society, all the way to their Ordeals, to the sucking void of space. They are bred for nothing but endless war.

But Commander Vantas...Commander Vantas is different.

Is... is Meenah narrating right now? Because fuck.

Or so all the pamphlets say.

The actual Commander Vantas has blisters on his heel and has been taking pot-shots at scouting drones for the last six hours. He could use a bath, honestly.

Or is this one of the trolls on the side narrating who’s kind of internalized the stories of trolls’ prior warlike nature?

> (==>)

MEENAH: yo nubs is that u MEENAH: pretty rank KARKAT: OH MY GOD. KARKAT: I FLATLY REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN SMELL MY NATURAL MUSK OVER THE STENCH OF BLOOD AND BURNING FLESH.

I guess it probably was Meenah narrating, then. Unless it’s a really biased alt!Callie doing the talking.

MEENAH: didnt i warn u bout thinking tho? KARKAT: GOD DAMMIT MEENAH, DON’T MEME AT ME.

I don’t know what meme this is and I really don’t want to know.

They have had this argument more than once. In fact, both of them could play either side of it. Karkat has done his time in the field, of course, leading small guerilla operations to free prisoners and sabotage Crocker’s supply chains, but Meenah and the rest of the council is right. Which is why he’s here, instead of at the front lines with his rebels, where he belongs.

His true value is his face. His symbology. At the end of the day, he is a fucking ad campaign.

...is KARKAT narrating here???

SWIFER: boss check the news!

Oh shit, right, Swifer is in the resistance in Candy instead of just a breeding assistant in Meat as the bonuses remind us.

KARKAT: OH FUCK. MEENAH: what KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST. MEENAH: nubs i swear 2 god KARKAT: IT’S GAMZEE. KARKAT: HE’S DEAD. MEENAH: oh MEENAH: well shit KARKAT: I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. MEENAH: u okay KARKAT: NO!

Huh. Them’s some complicated feelings that could fall in basically all directions at once.

Also, I can’t believe Karkat has hung around humans enough to fully internalize the full-throated exclamation “JESUS CHRIST”, which wouldn’t even really be a thing on Earth C with people who aren’t from Earths B or A.

MEENAH: u outlawed fishpuns i gotta make my own fun

How could you, Karkat.

KARKAT: AND I GUESS IF YOU CALL AN OBSCENELY PUBLIC PALE ACT, PERFORMED IN A FUGUE OF DESPERATE PANIC INTENDED TO PREVENT HIM FROM MURDERING ALL OF MY FRIENDS INSTEAD OF JUST HALF OF THEM “A THING”. KARKAT: THEN YES, I GUESS WE HAD A THING. KARKAT: BUT IF YOU’RE ASKING ME IF I’M SAD THAT HE’S DEAD? KARKAT: ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT.

Okay, I’d hoped not, good...

KARKAT: THAT’S NOT WHY I’M SAYING FUCK A BUNCH OF TIMES. MEENAH: u need a reason to say fuck a buncha times KARKAT: SHUT UP. KARKAT: LOOK AT THE PICTURE.

--Right! That’s a good reason to not be okay.

KARKAT: I DON’T THINK SO? I CAN’T SEE HER EYES IN THIS PICTURE, BUT SHE’S COVERED IN BLOOD, AND SHE’S CARRYING GAMZEE, SO SHE’S CORPOREAL AT LEAST.

I love this form of analysis somehow.

KARKAT: OKAY...HERE. OH. OF COURSE. CROCKER IS CLAIMING HER SON WAS KIDNAPPED AND FORCED TO PARTICIPATE. KARKAT: AND THEY’VE NAMED ME AS THE MASTERMIND. MEENAH: well we woulda taken credit for it anyway so this saves us the time MEENAH: thanks jane owe u one

Meenah isn’t the “concerned” type. Lemonade out of lemons.

> (==>)

That middle tweet is my favorite.

Oh dear, “#GamzeeAnon”...

KARKAT: SHIT. OF COURSE THIS WOULD HAVE TO DO WITH FUCKING SERKET. KARKAT: LITERAL MONTHS OF PLANNING, HOURS AND HOURS OF LOGISTICS, AND ALL OF IT GOES UP IN SMOKE BECAUSE OF ONE SPIDERY ASSHOLE. KARKAT: SHE *WOULD* FIND SOME WAY TO WRECK MY SHIT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.

indisputable

KARKAT: NOW? KARKAT: NOW WE PIVOT FROM THE SUBLIME TO THE RIDICULOUS.

Um...

What does that mean?

I’m having a lot of trouble not only understanding the basic meaning of what he’s saying, here, but understanding why KARKAT of all people would employ it.

......it’s a meme, isn’t it. Gotta be.

> (==>)

(Ooh, an eyepatch designed to invoke a Strider-shade. Nice.)

KARKAT: I NEED TO TALK TO EGBERT.

But....... why??

> (==>)

Oh right, cause his son’s girlfriend is involved.

> (==>)

Oh my goooood what a pair of John and Roxy caaaars! :D

He is too busy with these mental gymnastics to notice his father’s car parked outside.

Ah right. John’s... not on the best terms with him, I recall that.

> (==>)

Ohhhh myyyy goooood what an image!!!

John, Roxy, and Harry Anderson proceed to have the tail end of a conversation they had before, in another medium.

What the fuck!? Harry had that conversation WHILE this dead body situation was going on?! Let me reread that linked bit...

(And she has such a somber smile on her face, but given the conversation content it’s not surprising.)

Harry Anderson looks at the two of them all teary and laughing and hikes his bag higher on his shoulder, shifting his weight. Roxy sees a muscle tighten in his jaw. Her beautiful, smart boy. She wants to run over and hug him, to protect him from the possibility of pain at talking to his father, but she doesn’t. She knows how much he’s wanted this, no matter how much he jokes about it.

She looks back at John, and sees her own awe mirrored in his face. She wills him not to cry, not to fall back on his self-imposed suffering and blame loop. Something about the last hour must have done the trick, though. John stands up, brushes his hands on his jeans, and walks, back straight, toward his son.

JOHN: hey harry anderson. JOHN: it’s really, really good to see you. JOHN: do you wanna go for a drive?

The muscle in Harry Anderson’s jaw clenches a few more times, but when he smiles, it is genuine.

HARRY ANDERSON: yeah, dad. HARRY ANDERSON: that could be cool.

Oh son of a bitch. Well isn’t that entertaining. Harry you’re just going to ditch your friends for I’m kidding, this is life fulfillment you’re aiming for, of COURSE you’re going to agree. (Too bad bringing the current situation in is gonna throw a wrench in things.)

> (==>)

Oh right, that means more of THIS Vriska and THIS John. They’ve had a good start talking already, I wonder what more they can learn from each other.

HARRY ANDERSON: but no worries, i asked my mom to pick me up some snacks so she’ll leave to go to the store in a sec. HARRY ANDERSON: just sneak in after she leaves and hide in my room, and i’ll be back in a bit.

Harry you enormous shortsighted asshole. And John’s about to learn all this from Karkat over the phone to blow his cover.

> (==>)

aaaaa roxy art i cannot :D

Wonder if her stealthiness attunement is gonna catch them in the act?

> (==>)

From this jealousy bit, I wonder to what degree Earth C humans are used to Troll quadrants and their various interplay mores.

> (Room: Examine yourself.)

Oh, a proper room introduction for Harry Anderson! Very fashion-focused, very liking the spotlight--

Oh wait, shit. This is traditionally where classpect associations are hinted more obviously than anywhere else. Time to stop holding back on the classpect stuff and take in every fucking word with capital-C Classpect fully in mind.

A bedroom stands empty. There is no boy standing in this bedroom, or indeed anyone else. However, if the boy whose bedroom it was were here, one might remark that his name was HARRY ANDERSON.

And FUCK, one might say, does he like MUSICAL THEATER.

Spotlight, definitely. But is it for the attention? The possibilities? The acting?

He has been in his fair share of school plays, but he has LOFTY ASPIRATIONS to STAR in bigger and better productions. He especially appreciates modern MUSICAL REMAKES of classic OLD EARTH MOVIES. It's a craze that not everyone is happy about, but in the absent boy they have found a DEVOTED FAN. There is also just enough overlap between his taste and his father’s to allow for SOMEWHAT STILTED CONVERSATIONAL BONDING from time to time.

Hmmmm. Is it about the majesty of important works of media (I see “Pokémon” and “Alien vs Predator” up there...), or is it about the fact that they’re remakes of past works? Those are a lot of awards and stage lights now that I zoom in to look... and hats... hats could be important......

The boy who is not yet here has also been known to dabble in ACCESSORIZATION. He could be described as a COBBLER ASPIRANT, a NEOPHYTE MILLINER, or even a BIT OF A WHIZZ WITH A NEEDLE AND THREAD.

Oh, interesting! Not just putting out different outfits, but making them? And Milliner is hat-specific creation...

His mother got him his first SEWING MACHINE when he was 10, to keep him from using hers all the time. His looks are HAND-CRAFTED, often IMITATED, but never DUPLICATED.

Space is obviously possible from sewing, but-- A focus on uniqueness!!! The broader theme is getting VERY specific. You might feel where I’m leaning already.

His COSTUMES appear in various AMATEUR PRODUCTIONS, the devising of which takes up most of his FREE TIME. His friends are usually LESS APPRECIATIVE of his attempts to dress them up than he would like, though.

Holy fucking shit. He dresses up and makes unique HATS for his friends and others. Specifically so they can use them as COSTUMES to act parts!!!!

And the other unique thing mentioned about him here took the time aside to note how he appreciated the intersection in personal interests between him and his father for it.

So you all know what I’m thinking, right? HATS??? It’s got to be Heart, isn’t it. Maybe even a Page of Heart, with his long-off aspirations and talent for arming others with it. Any other additive/giving class might do the trick, too, like Sylph or possibly Maid. Knight could technically still fit pretty well, but I feel Page is better given what little we know so far, what with so much outward focus bleeding out.

(You can comb through the saga on my infamous hats tag or the summary on the Aspect Duality post, but the gist is that hats (and others’ clothes, but especially the hats. even shoes -- SO many shoes in that picture!) represent the gist of an expressed identity, personal uniqueness whether innate or affected ala a costume. Nepeta, Dirk, Terezi, and even Stitch have given us examples, some of them deeper than we realized, MOST of them probably overthought bullshit like I thought when I first created the hats tag and started tracking the wonderful importance of hats. ¬_¬)

I’d like to see anyone else’s interpretation. (EDIT: One more potential Nep-allusion in this room.)

> (==>)

Oh nooooooo!!!! Tavros’s sprite is the saddest looking thing I’ve ever seen!! D: Like a mix of Jane and Jake that thoroughly regrets his entire existence! Which he practically does! D: Why the Caliborn-like clothes though?

(Some hint at “how different alt!Callie’s Caliborn must have been” like the commentary suggested exploring in fanfiction? Was the suggestion meant to divert attention from the idea that it’d be addressed in the plot? Andrew pulled that trick a time or two, why not these authors?)

Also:

Pffff. Vriska just accessorizing immediately-- Oh, wait. That might just be a bandana she had at some point coated in Gamzee’s blood.

Tavros is looking at the news on a borrowed phone -- nice call on disabling the tracking on yours, Tavros.

> (==>)

TAVROS: It’s getting a bit surreal to see my, uh,, frozen mask of horror on every news site,, TAVROS: It’s a good shot of you,,, though, Vrissy, VRISSY: It really is Shockingly well composed.

Heheheh. It’s fun that Tavros knows exactly what Vrissy/ka would care about.

And yes, Vriska is over there trying out ALL the bandanas.

> (==>)

VRISSY: Oh, is trying on all my 8oyfriend’s accessories not passing the time well enough for you? VRISKA: Desper8 times call for desper8 measures, Vrissy. VRISKA: And this is some dire shit.

They stare each other down. Did she mean the fugitive situation, or Harry Anderson’s fashion choices? Vrissy feels silly wondering this, but despite the situation they’re in, she can’t help but feel more acutely anxious about Vriska’s presence.

She likes her life, and she trusts her own choices. But now, looking at everything from Vriska’s vantage point, it all feels silly. Unimportant. Childish.

She can’t tell if she wants Vriska to rip in to Harry Anderson or if she wants her to stay silent. To put off the moment where she has to defend him or join in.

Real interesting. Like she’s caught between these worlds after all.

> (==>)

They say it was a long drive, but...?

...WOW. What a chill, disinterested-looking affect his sprite makes for. Huh.

He kisses Vrissy’s temple and she leans in to the warmth of him.

HARRY ANDERSON: aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. HARRY ANDERSON: so sorry it took so long. HARRY ANDERSON: can’t rush a heart to heart, you know how it is.

Stop making me deliberate whether you’re trying to drop teasing Heart-aspect hints. You already know I’m going to be obsessively scrutinizing every word of dialogue around Harry to see if it fits, story. No need to rub it in.

VRISSY: You actually had a Heart to Heart with your dad? How many times did he Cry?

I DIDN’T EVEN READ THE NEXT LINE QUIT SAYING HEART TO HEART YOU EVEN GAVE IT PROPER CAPS THAT TIME

HARRY ANDERSON: but god, it was a mess. i had to keep talking to keep him from looking at his phone or turning on the radio. HARRY ANDERSON: i may have told him more about my deep passions and emotions in the last hour than the whole rest of my life combined, just to keep him from hearing the fucking news.

Holy shit. You exploited conversation about your deep passions and interests for a separate goal???

Aaargh! Classpect everywhere! I’ve relapsed!!! D:

> (==>)

JOHN IS SO HAPPY

John Egbert has not had a day like this in a very long time. He can barely keep track of this series of epiphanies he’s having. He stretches out on his couch to relax and process the gifts of advice and connection his friends and family and ex-family have just given him.

OH RIGHT TIME TO RUIN IT WITH MAXIMUM SHENANIGANS

JOHN: hey karkat! great timing! JOHN: so much just happened and im kind of reeling about it. KARKAT: YEAH NO SHIT.

Ohhhh. Much of the time I hate dramatic irony, but those moments before someone is about to be let in on the discrepancy... oh man I love that.

JOHN: is something going on? i just spent the afternoon with my son, and i think he would have told me if something was up with his friends? KARKAT: OH MY LUSCIOUS SHITTING CHRIST JOHN LISTEN TO ME. JOHN: listening!

"Luscious”?? Did they try to type “Lusus” and get autocorrected?

Who’s writing Homestuck on their phone???

> (==>)

J...John?? Are you okay?? XD

This picture. These two paragraphs. I fucking love them.

(Wow, being closer to the “canon” story due to ridiculous shenanigans right after his back-to-back self-insights and outlook changes have really been healthy for him huh. He can probably sense HS^2 reaching him out here. And you can see the helpless comedian his probably-still-depressed ass became on Earth B in his reaction here. EDIT: Also, how appropriate that even by DYING, the Bard of Rage managed to fulfill his role and shatter the last vestiges of John's narrow-outlooked despair?)

John can’t answer. He can’t speak. His body has given itself over to the long-lost feeling of manic euphoria. It had felt like Harry Anderson was holding something back on the drive earlier, but he had already told John so much. He hadn’t wanted to press for more.

Yeah... after what John’s gone through across his life and session, finding out Harry managed to hide THIS for a whole car-ride is the best sort of punch-line for him.

John can’t breathe. Something is happening. Something is finally fucking happening, and he’s finally awake enough to appreciate it.

--yep. I was just guessing earlier, but this kind of confirms it’s in part a closer-to-relevance, closer-to-canon feeling bleeding in. Something is happening that’s important enough to SHOW onscreen and not skip over. I guess he really does like being anchored in Light after all.

> (==>)

John wheezes himself into relative calm. He has to get Karkat to understand. He clears his throat and breathes.

JOHN: karkat, this can be how we win. JOHN: i know what we need to do.

...holy SHIT.

Karkat, how did you know calling JOHN about this would work out this well??

John actually taking confident action to solve a problem, in a way that isn’t going to end up depressing like his attempt to provide Tavros escape in the Epilogues... this should be interesting.

See you next time. (I had to image-fix some stupid linked hat posts for this blogpost and I’m out of energy, so I’ll fix the other old post I promised that asker to fix in like, a day or two; I’ll post when I do.)

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #hats #Heart and Mind #Harry Anderson

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rafespeaks · 5 years ago

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Pokémon Sword and Shield, From the Eyes of a Veteran (Critique)

I want to preface this by saying I have been playing Pokemon since before I can remember. It has been a staple of my childhood since day one and is an incredibly important franchise to me. I have nothing but love for it, and I wish the franchise success and a long life far into the future. That being said... I have some big issues with this latest generation. Big enough that I’m writing out my thoughts for everyone to see for the first time.

As a note, I am not a competitive player, nor do I think I ever will be. I don’t have the patience or technical mind to focus on all the finite mechanics and breed the statistical ‘very-best’ Pokemon out there. As such, I will not be focusing on those aspects (or at least not nearly as heavily as others might).

Now, let’s begin.

As a starting point, let’s start where Nintendo always does when introducing a new region and generation

The Pokémon

Every new generation of Pokemon comes with brand-new creatures for everyone to love. However, some generations just have... more than others. The original games had 151 Pokemon total to catch, collect, and love. And from there, more were added. Here’s the count:

Johto: 100 Hoenn: 135 Sinnoh: 107 Unova: 156 Kalos: 72 Alola: 88 Galar: 81

This is not accounting for the new Pokemon introduced in Galar’s DLC, as that has yet to come out, or old Pokemon that were given a Mega Evolution or regional variant. Kalos added 30 Mega Evolutions, plus an additional 20 from ORAS. Alola added 18 regional variants, and Galar added 13 of their own (not counting the DLC Slowpoke) plus 24 Gigantimax forms (25 if you count Flapple & Appletun as separate, and 26 with Melmetal).

Numbers-wise, Galar did... okay. Not great. But okay. It still passed up Kalos, at the very least, which was a huge point of contention among fans when gen 6 came out. However, if I had to sum up my feelings towards the new Pokemon I could do it easily with one phrase: they’re very ‘hit-or-miss’. And while new Pokemon that I don’t care for tend to grow on me over time, there’s just one problem with that. They can’t grow on me if I don’t ever see them.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with old Pokemon being in the new games. In fact that’s something I love! But when you want the players to connect with the new being introduced, you have to give them a chance to do so.

This was the first region in what felt like ages where I went in without a plan of what I wanted on my team. Typically, I go with a simple, easy-to-follow formula. Grass, Fire, and Water take up three slots. Add in a Flying-type, as Water and Flying were highly important for transportation in earlier games. And for coverage, the last two spots go to Electric and Ground or Rock. Anything else, I try to cover for with getting as many dual-types as possible. Simple. Effective. Tried and true.

However, after choosing Scorbunny as my starter, I encountered a problem. There are only two Grass-types to choose from, and neither are particularly good for my strategy. Eldegoss, which I ended up going with, is a pure Grass-type and can ONLY learn Grass-type damaging attacks, unless you want to track down the single Bug-type TR it can learn, or use one of the few compatible Normal-type TMs/TRs.

The second Grass-type is Applin. And while both evolutions have better type coverage, there are still problems. One, Applin on its own is pretty bad. The only moves it knows when caught fresh from the wild are Withdraw and Astonish. While that isn’t too horrible in and of itself, the fact that its evolutionary item can only be obtained near the end of the game makes it a horrible choice. Since I was about to take on Nessa and had no access to this item, I was forced to either choose Eldegoss or something from a previous generation. And since I was trying to use all-new Pokemon, Eldegoss it was. (Though on the upside, I realized it had plenty of potential to be a competitive wall.) Now, if you are intent on getting a Flapple or Appletun, you can persevere and evolve one. Now you have your grass dragon! Great! Except... its level-up moveset is pretty bad to begin with... You will have to dedicate a lot of time to training or hunting down TMs and TRs to make up for this seemingly MASSIVE oversight.

This is just one example, of course. And while coverage isn’t particularly BAD considering all the old Pokemon included, it could be much better.

Continuing on from this topic is another that has had a lot of fans, including me, up in arms.

The Pokédex

Dexit.

Nearly 900 Pokemon, cut SEVERELY down to 400. It’s unprecedented. It’s unfair to the fans of cut Pokemon, completionists, and old players waiting on transferring all their partners from previous games. Frankly, it sucks. And I think every Pokemon fan can agree, no matter the reason.

While some similar things to this have happened before, it has never been this bad. Unova did it right - the only Pokemon available to the player through the main story of Black and White were the newly introduced ones. After defeating the Elite Four, finishing the game, and the credits are done rolling however, all previous Pokemon were welcome in the region once more. Alola didn’t exclude any older Pokemon, but for the first time in any Pokemon game, we did not get a National ‘Dex. Even so, the Pokemon unavailable natively in Alola were still transferable and usable in the new generation. And while it was a bit disappointing not to get any new entries for some old favorites, it was understandable. Coming up with new world lore is hard work!

Nintendo said that all these Pokemon were cut due to time constraints and limitations with the memory. Unfortunately, these are issues that could be fixed easily, which just... weren’t. Sword and Shield could have gone the same route that Zelda: Breath of the Wild did and simply extended production time. As Shigeru Miyamoto once said, “A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad.” And it shows in Sword and Shield in so many ways.

The memory limitations is, honestly, just a bad lie in my personal opinion. This opinion is only proven to me by the DLC reintroducing over 200 Pokemon from prior games. It’s not that Nintendo couldn’t - it’s that they didn’t give themselves the time. I had hoped for free updates in the future to remedy this, and that’s what’s happening. But not in a good way. (They also cut a plethora of Pokemon moves, which was also heavily disappointing, but the loss there couldn’t be felt nearly as much as over half of the total Pokemon being straight-up unavailable. Every one of those is someone’s favorite!)

Even if the memory WAS an issue, there are so many things that were, ultimately, unnecessary to me that they could have done without. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

Dexit aside, there’s another issue that needs to be addressed with the Pokedex that I’ve touched on already - distribution of Pokemon. There’s just... way too many, way too fast, and not enough of the new Galar Pokemon to go around. I am a Player who takes the famous tagline ‘gotta catch ‘em all’ fairly seriously. As I progress through the game, I am always compelled to search for every Pokemon on a route and catch, at the very least, the basic form of that Pokemon. While I haven’t managed to complete the Pokedex on my own or build a Living ‘Dex yet, those are both major goals I have.

However, shortly after first stepping into the Wild Area, I was overwhelmed. Too many Pokemon were coming my way, with too many variations in weather meaning it would take ages to catch all the Pokemon available to me in a route before moving forward in the story. While the Wild Area is a marvel, fun to explore, and an amazing way to experience Pokemon, it’s all just too much to throw at you in one huge chunk. Plus, there’s one very annoying, very artificial limitation that just feels completely out of place in a game that traditionally has had nothing quite like this. The Pokemon-catching level cap.

Now, level caps have been talked about among fans of the series, especially those that would like a sort of ‘hard mode’. This is not what they were talking about. Level caps have been used in previous games to prevent a player from transferring or trading overpowered Pokemon to the game and breezing through it as fast as possible. If you don’t have enough badges, the Pokemon will not listen to you, and you’ll be out of luck until you progress. Fans have suggested extending this level cap to all Pokemon, so that potentially even your starter will refuse to listen once it’s too strong. Personally, I wouldn’t enjoy such a change. But that’s why it’s only really suggested for a hard mode.

The way this level cap was implemented, however, was just... bad... I understand why it was done, but it can be put into practice SO much easier with one simple fix - utilizing Routes like previous generations did and closing off the higher-level areas to the player until they have progressed appropriately.

And that brings me to my next talking point.

Routes VS the Wild Area

Pokemon routes have always been included in every game, from the very beginning. They are the segue between towns, holding new Pokemon for you to battle and catch, the majority of free items to be found across the world, and a good few trainers to pit your team against once you’ve gotten past the first little chunk of story. To put it simply, routes are necessary. Without them, all the different towns would be one huge city, and specifically in Sword and Shield, there would be nowhere but the Wild Area to catch Pokemon.

That being said, the routes throughout Galar are... pretty tiny. I’d even say pitiful. What’s more, it seems that most of them have a short, straight path forward that discourages exploration and bettering yourself through battles with wild Pokemon and trainers. Sure, there’s the occasional arbitrary blockade that will force you to take the long way around, but once that’s done with, there’s nothing else to keep your interest. Glimwood Tangle in particular made me realize how far back they cut the routes. There was so much potential to make a sprawling forest out of it, and they just... didn’t. It was tiny. I wanted more, but they left it lacking in so much.

There’s an easy solution to this - making the Routes into mini Wild Areas. And, to accommodate all these huge routes, CUT BACK THE WILD AREA. Trust me - it needs to be smaller. This fixes the Pokemon distribution, the level cap issues, and the tiny routes all in one fell swoop. Instead of having one massive area with a bunch of sub-areas, have each route be bigger, with two to three sub-areas. The balance will make it much more impressive in the long run.

Speaking of balance, let’s talk about how this affected the pacing of the game. Even when I was taking my time, it felt like I was always rushing, rushing, rushing on to the next town. Not to mention, there are far too many options in the story to let you skip over backtracking through a route you’ve already been through. I’ve just finished taking on Milo. I blink. I’m standing in the Pokemon center the next town over, prepping for Nessa’s gym. I just defeated Bea. I blink. Now I’m about to take on Opal. The only time I got a little time to breathe was when I had to travel through the Wild Area to get to the next town. And then it was all just so expansive that I... didn’t want to go back to the story. There were items everywhere. There were Pokemon to catch. I wasn’t done here - I had to explore. I had to find everything. Do all I could. Because that’s what you do in a route, right? You explore and find all the goodies to help you on your journey. So what comes after...?

The Towns

While the towns are gorgeous and each have their own charm, they all feel... almost empty.

Compare to previous games, and it’s obvious to see. Many buildings don’t allow you to go inside and explore. There is a distinct lack of NPCs. And the ‘big’ cities are decidedly small as a result.

Just take a look at Castelia City and Lumiose City. Both are huge, compared to the rest of the locations in the games. They have many buildings, many NPCs to fill them... People needed a map to avoid getting lost in Lumiose! Even in cities that are smaller scale-wise, such as in Alola, they never feel empty. There are plenty of places to go, people to talk to, and things to explore or interact with. You find new things all the time.

Meanwhile in Galar, the only things that seem to give the towns any purpose are the Pokemon gyms. And that is a massive shame. Especially when in prior games, there have been places I will make my way to, just to sit there and take in every little detail of the location, or where I’ll talk to every NPC and soak up all the lore. I go back to murals and statues and unique buildings. I go back to puzzles and the homes of legendary Pokemon. I go back to enjoy the things I’ve seen in a new light and reminisce about my journey. But in Galar... there seems to be very little to reminisce about.

The Story

This is the biggest disappointment for me. If all the rest of the game were awful, as long as the story is good, I can overlook it. As long as the story is good, I can enjoy any game.

This story was not good.

As far as Pokemon stories go, they aren’t all complex, nuanced narratives. In the first games, you fight Team Rocket, who are just in it for the money. In Johto, it’s the same thing, with the addition of a rival that has a touching change of heart in the end. Things get a bit bigger in Hoenn, where the world-ending plots officially start in the form of weather crises caused by Team Aqua and Team Magma. In Sinnoh, the entire universe is threatened when Team Galactic aims to remake the world in their image. In Unova, the morals of you and the rest of the Pokemon world are called into question by PETA-- I mean Team Plasma. In Kalos... rich people want to kill the unworthy poor...? Yeah, I didn’t really get that story much either. And in Alola, you deal with alternate dimension aliens running amok. Safe to say things got quite a bit bigger as time went on.

Now we’re in Galar. Something’s going to happen. Something always happens. But when? How?

We get hints about the Darkest Day. Dynamaxing is still very new and not much is known about it. Sonia is looking into the legendary hero(s) that stopped the Darkest Day. But where’s the evil team? What’s their motivation? Where’s the action? The buildup?? Bede mentions he’s collecting Wishing Stars. Why??? We get to Hammerlocke and learn that the Wishing Stars are for the Chairman. But again, why? He mentions a problem has been bothering Rose concerning all Galar, but it’s such a brief moment that it’s easily dismissed. Where’s the action, or the stakes? Nothing has happened yet except we’re being pushed through the gym challenge as fast as possible.

Fourth gym. No sign of any real trouble yet. Except that jerk Bede just vandalized an ancient mural, just because... he wanted to? Yeah, he’s trying to find Wishing Stars, but literally NO ONE told him to make a spectacle of himself and ruin a piece of history in the process. We’re getting more hints about the past and Galar’s history, but nothing solid on what we’re supposed to be doing. Besides the gyms. EVERYTHING is about the gyms... Oh, and apparently Oleana is the one who asked Bede to collect Wishing Stars. Whatever. What does that have to do with anything?

Five gyms in now, and... Ka-BOOM!

FINALLY!!! Some ACTION!!! Something’s happening at the Power Plant, and Sonia’s detecting a Power Spot! Alright, let’s go! I’m finally going to be able to DO something! I’ll finally be able to see what’s going on and--

“You should leave the investigation on the quaking to the adults. Head to Circhester and get that Gym Badge!”

... What... No! No, I refuse! There must be something to see, even if it’s just Sonia, Leon, and the Chairman standing around after things have already been sorted out. I can talk to them and get a little dialogue on what’s going on! Except they aren’t anywhere to be found. No one around the gym, no one by the Power Plant door, nothing.

Sixth gym. More lore. Seventh gym. Heading out towards Raihan and BOOM! Trouble on Route 9! Leon’s here! NPC says I should go help! Heck yes, I will! It’s about time I got some action out here, it’s almost the end of the game!

Run outside, there’s Leon! And... he dismisses you. Again. Says ‘nope, I’ve got this, gym gym gym, see you!’

No way am I taking that laying down. I’m right on his heels - I should at least be able to see him battling or something, right? But no. In the seconds it takes to run after him, Leon has beaten the threat, he’s gone, and now Hop is waving a news article about the debacle in your face, complete with picture! How the hell did all that happen so fast?! It takes time to write something like that up, never mind the time it must have taken to battle the Dynamaxed Pokemon that Leon faced!

The game is almost over, and what little action you could have seen has been blocked from you because you are a child. And I understand, from a moral perspective, that this is what any sane adult would say to a child. But from a story perspective it is a horribly bad writing choice. It gives you a little taste of the story, a tiny hint at what’s going on, and yanks any real explanation away from you until the very end, where you’re floored by everything happening all at once. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Finally, Professor Magnolia mentions that the issue the Chairman is worried about is the future of Galar’s energy. But... why? We have seen no hints of a problem with that throughout the entire game. No mention of shortages. Nothing about global warming or sustainability. It seems there’s exactly zero reason for anyone to worry, much less turn this into a huge issue that needs to be addressed. It’s one thing if a crisis is there and people are ignoring it. It’s another matter entirely if there is no crisis whatsoever to be seen, even if you look for it. And even if there was any sort of issue, Leon once again tells you to do nothing. Nothing at all.

Eighth gym. On to the Championships. Blah blah, tiny snow route, nothing even remotely close to a Victory Road... In Wyndon now. Still bubcus about an evil team or anything that you can actually DO something about. The Semifinals happen. Leon goes missing.

Suddenly, you’re thrown into a situation you know nothing about to save this miserable dope. And when you get to him... he doesn’t even need any saving! He’s just having a pleasant chat with this jerk! Drag his butt out of there, then the Finals happen. Now you’re gearing up to face Leon himself. Only to be stopped by Rose SUMMONING ARMAGEDDON TO SOLVE A NONEXISTENT ENERGY CRISIS HE SEEMINGLY MADE UP.........

It makes no sense whatsoever. And unlike in Unova, where the interruption to your Elite Four challenge made sense, these TWO interruptions did not. Leon even promised to help Rose after he finished his Championship match against you! Why couldn’t Rose wait a single day? Or even a few hours? ... I digress.

Anyway, Rose awakens Eternatus, who is the source of Dynamax energy. (Necrozma & Totem Pokemon vibes much?) Leon goes up to capture it, just as Rose planned, and gets his butt kicked, not as planned. Meanwhile, the player and Hop made themselves useful for once, went to find the Sword and Shield from legend, and used them to call Zacian and Zamazenta. Together, all four of you defeat Eternatus! Yaaay for yooouuu!!!

...

Oh. And you finally have that Championship battle. Get that win squared away. Finally, but also way too soon, the credits role.

Perhaps I may have been a bit harsh about the story. But with very little to make up for it, I feel justified in everything I’ve said here. But I’m still not done. After all, a story can’t have no one helping the protagonist along. Or hindering them. Severely.

The Characters

Unfortunately, many of the characters were just as bad as the story. However, for the most part, it doesn’t entirely seem like their fault. There just wasn’t enough time spent on them, or the writers handled them poorly.

Let’s start from the beginning.

Hop

He’s a friendly rival. Okay, I can get behind that. But he’s also very self-absorbed throughout the entire story. Why are you even friends with him? He doesn’t once talk to you about anything other than how he’s going to be the next Champion. He cheers you on occasionally, but it’s always overshadowed by him harping on the same things over and over again - his brother is The Best and he will defeat him to become The New Best.

Many people say Hop is very much like Hau. I say that’s an insult to Hau. Hau is a laid-back free spirit who’s only goal starting out is to have fun with his Pokemon. He supports you and gives you items along the way because that’s just his nature. He’s a true friend. And when things get a bit tougher, he realizes he needs to step up and take things seriously if he wants to protect the ones he cares about. So he does.

In my opinion, Hop is more like Green in his approach to you, except a bit more friendly. In fact... I’d say he’s MOST like the Diamond/Pearl/Platinum rival, Barry. They’re both braggarts, self-absorbed, and constantly, casually putting you down even though you’re clearly better than them. Long story short, Hop is infinitely annoying like Barry is annoying. I was shocked at myself for how eager I was to beat Hop evey time, and how uncaring I was when Bede crushed his spirit. Hop’s mopiness and woe-is-me attitude felt very forced, especially since he was always smiling and still constantly talked about how he was going to beat you and Leon both.

Not to mention how his story ultimately ended... But I’ll get to that a little later.

Leon

For as annoying as Hop is, Leon is ten times worse. I can see where Hop got all those self-absorbed tendencies. He strikes a dumb pose every five seconds, goes on about how great and undefeated he is, constantly basks in the attention of his fans... Not an ounce of humility or humbleness in this man. Not to mention, he pretty much abandoned Sonia during their journey together. I couldn’t wait to ruin his whole career. But if there’s one positive thing I can say about him, it’s that his team is legitimately tough. Mostly that demon Charizard.

Sonia

She’s nice enough, and it’s pretty neat to see her on her journey to becoming a full-fledged Professor. But her progression to that ultimate payoff seems pretty rushed, probably because the rest of the story is rushed. Also, she consults with you about many of the legends she digs up, and the dialogue choices ultimately mean YOU are drawing the conclusions while SHE just agrees with them. By all rights, I should be the Professor in this game!

Marnie

Honestly, I don’t have a strong reaction about Marnie either way. She just seems a bit subdued, we don’t see her very much, and there’s no real character arc that we get to see her go through. She’s the same as when we first saw her, only now she knows she’s not going to be the Champion, because you are.

Bede

He’s a little jerk. And honestly? I love little jerks. But only if they’re done right.

Green was a jerk rival that was done right. He didn’t see the error of his ways throughout the entire game. However, come the Johto arc, he is now a gym leader, realizes he was treating his Pokemon poorly, and it’s implied he regrets his harshness towards Red.

Silver was another done right. He was a jerk from the very start, and a thief to boot. He hated you, and Team Rocket, and... all the world really. But as the game progressed, he came to realize that he needed to be kind. And by the end of the game, he has a Crobat. While his abrasive personality is still there, he respects you, and realizes you were right.

Bede, on the other hand, was pushed through the plot. First, he was working his hardest for the sake of the Chairman. Then when he was forsaken, hurt, and lost for a purpose... he wasn’t allowed to find his way himself. Instead, Opal snatched him away and demanded that he become the next Fairy-type gym leader. She even went so far as to force him to change his type preference! What happened to Gothorita and Duosion?! (Don’t get me wrong, I love Opal as a character. She’s probably my favorite out of everyone. But still...)

Bede should have come into his own by his own choice. And since he didn’t, the change seems like it... wasn’t a change at all. He’s still harsh towards you and others, and the respect he says he has for you seems insincere.

Piers

Unlike the rest of the gym leaders, Piers takes a slightly more active role in the plot once the ball FINALLY gets rolling. So I figured I’d talk about him, too. Piers seems... a lot like Nanu. Like A LOT. And that doesn’t really seem to fit with his rocker look or job. He just seems depressed and like he doesn’t want to be here. At least he’s a fairly responsible brother, always making sure Marnie is safe. I never did get past that hair though... Never liked it. But I seem to be in the minority there.

Oleana

She’s just... She seems like a Rose-obsessed Lusamine, instead of Ultra Beast-obsessed. Except her manipulation of children is more subtle. Honestly, I can see her being a formidable villain, and actually a much bigger threat than Rose. If only she was given the opportunity to actually DO more things through the game.

Chairman Rose

Rose is... Well, he doesn’t feel like a villain, if that makes any sense? He’s too placid. Mild. Calm. There’s no anger or any kind of intense emotion. Even when he’s disappointed in Bede, I don’t really... believe it. It’s like he ordered an ice cream and realized it doesn’t come with sprinkles. “Oh. That’s very slightly disappointing. But it’s still ice cream so it doesn’t really matter. It’s fine.” Even if you want to do a villain without strong emotions, there are other ways to do it.

Cyrus, jokingly referred to as having depression by the Pokemon fanbase, is a big example of this. He is very non-expressive, with a flat, almost scary look. He always talks analytically, and philosophically. He even openly scorns emotions. But when he does finally get a bit more heated and unhinged towards the end of the game, it’s a serious business. He feels dangerous.

Rose, on the other hand... doesn’t. He has all this supposed passion for Galar and its future. So much so that he’s willing to risk putting people and Pokemon in imminent danger to fix this energy crisis he seems to have made up... So then where is that passion? Where is his anger and frustration towards Leon? Where is his desperation?

It seems to me that the only energy deficit in Galar is in Rose’s behavior.

We’ve covered a lot now, but still not everything. My main gripes are over, but like every Pokemon game, there’s just a bit more.

The Post-Game

Now the main plot is over, and you’re free to do as you please all across the region. Train up your Pokemon and catch newly available ones, explore places you didn’t go deeper in during the story, get a little extra tidbit of story sometimes... And to its credit, this game did deliver a decent post-game story to follow.

You saved the region. You met the legendary Pokemon. Now you have the Master Ball and it’s implied you can go off and get your featured legendary doggo. Fantastic! But once you make your way into the Slumbering Weald... these guys show up. Oh, and Hop is there moping. And Sonia shows up too, for some reason.

But these guys... These guys were arrogant little jerks from the beginning. And it makes sense once you learn they’re a part of Galar’s royal family - the descendants of the people who supposedly stopped the Darkest Day from happening and saved the region. Of course, now everyone knows that’s not true, and they’re pissed about what this means for them. Their family isn’t anything special. They aren’t anything special. Their status and positions have been taken away and given to Pokemon! It’s insulting to them! (Though they still have a loyal following.)

So what do they do? Pumping Zacian & Zamazenta full of Dynamax energy and causing them to wreak havoc will absolutely turn the people of Galar against them! And the cost? Eh, they don’t much care. As long as the legendary Pokemon look bad and they’re able to retain their status.

Of course, their plan backfires, and in true benevolent legendary fashion, the one legendary they do manage to overload with power does its absolute best to avoid hurting anyone. It’s a touching little story to go on. And what’s more? It actually makes sense! In fact, I would have greatly preferred this story as the main one focused on, rather than the hot garbage we got with Chairman Rose! My only gripe regarding the new story is how ridiculous these two princes are... Really Gamefreak? Swordward and Shieldbert? And that hair?? Do you have no subtlety anymore?

But as for wrapping up the old story... things still fall a bit flat. After the legendaries are calm again and you have your version’s pup, you go after Hop. And he is accepted by the other legendary in the duo. Considering everything he went through to try and get the sword/shield back just now, as well as his concern for and efforts to calm down the legendary, it’s understandable. He’s proven himself in their eyes. But then... he goes and decides to become Sonia’s assistant and work towards being a professor.

How did that happen? Why did it happen? There was no buildup in the slightest before this decision, and it seems very out of character for someone like Hop. He’s not technically minded. While he takes a mild interest in the legends of his home region (who wouldn’t when they’re that fun?), he doesn’t seem interested in doing any actual research. And now that he actually owns a legendary Pokemon, you would expect him to double down on his rivalry with you or at least aspire to do something more... heroic? Exciting? Why would a legendary Pokemon want to hang around when you’re not going to be utilizing them at all?

This extra little story is over very fast. Not only that, but everything you do pertaining to the story is done without having to struggle through a route or many other additional challenges. (Hey, a lot like the main story. Lack of travel/drawn-out struggle leads to pacing issues.)

Additionally, there are no new places to explore after the main story. Which really, REALLY sucks. Every Pokemon game has had more to see afterwards. Kanto had Cerulean Cave. Johto had an entire additional region, plus Mt Silver. Hoenn had lots of legendary Pokemon homes open up to you, plus the Battle Frontier in Emerald. Sinnoh had the entire Battle Zone. Unova had several towns and routes blocked off. Kalos had it’s own last town as well as a couple places you could go for legendaries, like Mewtwo. And Alola had an entire half of Poni Island. Galar has... nothing... Everywhere you can go in Galar, you will have access to before the Championship battle with Leon is over. And that’s a crying shame. They seem to be trying to remedy this with the DLC coming out, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. I’ll get into that later. First, there still something else I want to talk about...

Dynamaxing and Gigantimaxing

I get why this exists. I really do. Every single region has something that shakes up the way battles are done. Whether it’s more technical, statistic-based changes or something much more obvious. Hold items, double battles, tag battles, triple and rotation battles, Mega Evolving, Z moves, blah blah blah. We all know about that stuff, right? Each of the newer regions has some gimmick to go along with it. This is the Galar version. But unfortunately... when they implemented this change, they decided to get rid of the much-beloved Mega Evolutions entirely.

Now I could understand why they would do this with Z-moves. Dynamaxing is essentially the same thing, with the addition of more HP and the flashy, massive size of Pokemon to go along with it. Though it is disappointing, it’s not really a net loss.

But Mega Evolutions on the other hand... Those were something special.

Mega Evolution could have, potentially, coexisted with Dynamaxing. All it is is making the Pokemon bigger after all, right? A bigger Mega Evolution is doable.

But then the Gigantimax Pokemon come in... and thing start to make less sense. Basically, they made more Mega Evolutions, but named them something different. Why couldn’t they simply be more Megas? People LOVE Mega Evolution Pokemon! No one would have been mad at this! Except the people who, rightfully, say Charizard gets far too much attention. Three Mega Evolutions is a bit much.

But even then, if you’re so insistent on Gigantimax Pokemon being a separate beast entirely, then there’s STILL a way you can make Mega Evolution work in tandem with the new system.

Simply make Gigantimaxed Pokemon a Dynamaxed form of a Mega Evolution.

Okay, I know that was a mouthful and possible hard to wrap your head around, but imagine with me: You’re in a battle. You Mega Evolve your Pokemon. It’s stronger now. But you’re also in the position where you can Dynamax. You do so, and... instead of getting a bigger Mega, your Pokemon changes form a second time. So for example, let’s say you have a Charizard. Mega Evolve it. It is now a Charizard X/Y. Now Dynamax it. It is now the unholy lava abomination you see when you battle Leon. If you had not Mega Evolved beforehand, then it would have grown into a normal, everyday Charizard, But Bigger.

This also takes away a completely arbitrary restriction - that not every Pokemon of a species can Gigantimax. I’m sure everyone knows by now, but let’s go over it again.

You have an Alcremie. You raised it from a Milcery, evolved it with your favorite Sweet, into your favorite flavor, whatever. Maybe it’s one of the strongest contributors to your team. But when you Dynamax it, it does nothing but get bigger. Then you see Opal’s Alcremie and wonder - how can I get my baby to do that? Is there a special item it needs to hold, or some other requirement?

Nope. Your Alcremie just isn’t good enough. It will never Gigantimax, because it was never capable of doing so in the first place.

With Mega Evolution, there is no limitation. You simply need to give your Pokemon the matching Mega Stone for its species and it can Mega Evolve, simple as that. you don’t need to find that certain special creature, when you already have a perfectly good teammate you’re attached to.

What’s more, Mega Evolution could be performed any time, anywhere, in any battle. Dynamaxing and Gigantimaxing is extremely limited to the Power Spots. Keeping Mega Evolution in would have lessened the disappointment of not being able to use the new mechanic casually. This was something that was heavily advertised when the game was first released, and to find out it’s so limited... I think it left a bad taste in a lot of fans’ mouths.

The DLC

Now... on to this... I’ve touched on this before, and I’m sure everyone can tell.

I am not happy.

First, the financial aspect. If you are going to charge $30 for a two-part expansion, make it apply to both game versions. This may not mean much to casual players, since they likely bought only one copy of the game. But to people who bought both, or share the two copies with family, this is a massive slap in the face. You would have to pay double, for the same content, so both versions are updated. That is a low, low blow.

Now, the Pokemon. I’m glad they are introducing new Pokemon (most of which seem to be Galarian forms or new Gigantimax forms), but there seems to be little reason why they held off releasing them in the first place. Legendaries, I understand. Others, not so much. And the over-two-hundred Pokemon that are being reintroduced isn’t something that should get a pat on the back. They’re fixing their own mistake. They shot themselves in the foot and now they’re trying to say “Oh look! We’re improving things! This bloody hole is going to be healed now! How great are we?” The only saving grace to this for me is that the Pokemon being reintroduced will be available to everyone (to transfer or trade over) via the free update mentioned before. And even then, there are still Pokemon missing!

The new areas now. While we have seen snippets by now, there has been nothing really definitive to go on. These new areas will be in the style of the Wild Area - that much has been made clear. But that makes me exceedingly nervous. Will they be empty, devoid of NPCs? What will there be to do? Just how big are these areas? If they are, in fact, exactly like the Wild Area... I am going to be deeply disappointed. Aside from battling/catching wild Pokemon and gathering items, there is very, very little to do in the existing Wild Area. But at the same time, if the area the DLC gives us is too small, everything will feel sparse and rushed, just like the story of the game.

Speaking of story, we aren’t really given anything meaningful about the DLC’s story, either. We were vaguely told that the two separate locations will be focused on the themes of ‘Growth’ and ‘Exploration’, and we were introduced to a small handful of characters that will be central to the story, but that’s about it. You’re training in the Isle of Armor, and you’ve been enlisted to explore the Crown Tundra. That’s all we know. Literally anything could happen. And that, again, makes me very nervous.

Gamefreak have said these DLC are supposed to take the place of the story changes a third game would make. But in this instance, I seriously believe Sword and Shield would have benefited from a second pass. Much like Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon had the “Good Ending” over Sun and Moon, I think a follow-up game could have amended a lot of the issues I’ve laid out. Though I couldn’t say if Gamefreak would have actually committed...

The biggest thing to me here is that... this is not necessary. At all. I feel as though these new locations, as well as the new stories, should have been included from the get-go in the base game. For free. Of course, if the scope of these stories is on par with the main storylines of Pokemon games, I can understand. But if it’s much smaller... I just can’t condone this.

It is a blatant cash grab. One that I can find no excuse for whatsoever. This game, and most everything that has come of it, has been such a dumpster fire that it has drained my love of Pokemon and left me with nothing but anger and a deep, dark disappointment. Gamefreak can do better. Nintendo can do better. I know they can. And I am willing to wait for good content.

They’re just not willing to give their fanbase the time to make that happen.

And speaking of blatant cash grabs...

Pokemon Home

Pokemon fans have been wanting a cloud-based Pokemon storage system for years. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. But compared to Pokemon Bank’s YEARLY fee of $4.99, Pokemon Home’s premium fee for the same amount of time is quite shocking at $15.99 a pop.

So what in the world went wrong here? Why is that price justified? While others have tried to explain it away by listing off all the different features, I say it’s not justified at all. And I’ll detail why below.

You see these graphs? Both of these contain all the points I need to make. And I’ll explain exactly why.

I’ll start from the top of the list and move down.

Transferring Pokemon is only available if you pay money for it. That means that if you want to get the additional Pokemon returning with the DLC releases, you either have to pay for the DLC or you have to pay for Pokemon Home. While transfer between games used to be free, that changed when Pokemon Bank was released. And while many people were understandably upset, the low price and additional storage space that Bank provided was enough for me to accept the change. Pokemon Home, on the other hand, doesn’t deliver enough for its price. It doubles the storage capacity Pokemon Bank had, and it introduces Room Trades. Which, honestly... don’t sound very appealing.

The number of Pokemon that can be deposited for free is... thirty. A single measly box worth. This may be enough for some people, but this, plus the box space in a copy of Sword/Shield, is not even enough to make a Living ‘Dex (if you want to include every different form of Pokemon. Otherwise it’s just barely enough). Not that you could make a Living ‘Dex anyway, with so many Pokemon still cut out. But back to the box capacity. For transferring only, this number might have been okay. But for storage purposes, this is only half a percent of the 6,000 potential Pokemon you could store if you paid up. Not even 1%. It’s 0.5%. It’s outrageous.

Wonder Trades, GTS trades, and Room Trades I’ll do together. For these features, I have little problem with the way they’re set up. The additional slots for trading are actually useful, and it makes sense to put them behind a paywall. This, I would be willing to pay for. Just not pay so much. Especially when this feature was taken out of the base game in the first place. Since the GTS was first introduced in Gen 4 (Sinnoh), it has been a staple of the game and a vital tool for completing the Pokedex, especially if you have no one to trade with in person. Many people were surprised and upset to find that the only trading function left in the base Sword & Shield games was the Surprise Trade, which is essentially Wonder Trade with a new name. However, while it is a little reassuring to have these features free to use, there is still a major limitation. It can only be done on the mobile phone version of Home.

This is something that has never existed before. You have never needed any device other than your gaming console. And to not have trades available in the Switch version as well is completely absurd. How do they expect children to use this? While tablets and smartphones have become more and more common, I doubt the vast majority of children have a device that is purely their own. They will have to nag their parents to download the app, and then further pester them each time they want to trade. Why not have that a part of the Switch version in the first place? It would be much more streamlined. I understand the practicality of having a Home app - I really do. It makes moving from Go to Home easier, I’m sure, and you now have added mobile usage when your Switch is out of range of an internet connection. But blocking features from the Switch makes no sense whatsoever.

Continuing on to the Judge function. Again, this was a feature that was removed from the main game. Not only that, but this time it is locked completely behind the paywall. When this feature came out just last generation, many competitive breeders were ecstatic. They no longer had to jump through hoops to determine that there was a Perfect IV baby in the hundreds, sometimes thousands of eggs they just hatched - they could see it right on the screen. And as a casual player, it was cool to see how many breedjects I ended up with. But it seems Gamefreak gave us a taste of a very good thing, then yanked it away, like candy from a baby.

On to the second chart. I already talked about the trading limitations, so I’ll skip over that. And it makes sense that moving Pokemon from the Switch games would be Switch Home exclusive, in addition to receiving Battle Points. There is nothing on your phone that can make use of BP. However, there are more phone restrictions that make no sense. Why can’t you receive Mystery Gifts or check Battle Data/News on the Switch? It’s certainly capable of it. Mystery Gifts in particular are another frustrating problem on par with the trading issue. The other two features I wouldn’t mind being mobile exclusive.

All in all, Pokemon Home is another hot mess for Gamefreak and Nintendo.

Conclusion

I know I’ve been rough on this new generation. Arceus knows I was pretty brutal, especially where the story was concerned. But that’s only because I know they can do better. Up until this point, we’ve been given some games that were downright masterpieces. I am highly disappointed in the creators, and I hope with all my heart they listen to their fans and do better going forward. Even if that means we have to wait a little longer.

What’s more, I seriously hope they don’t continue to financially extort their market. Charging this much for something so rushed and poorly executed is an insult. And if it continues... I’m afraid of where the Pokemon franchise may be headed.

That’s all. I’m sorry if I stepped on some toes here, but these are all my honest opinions. I hope that some of these things have validated others’ feelings, too, and perhaps that people look at some of these issues in a new light.

PS, I’m sorry for any abrupt tonal shift that might be seen between the “Characters” and “Post-Game” sections. I had to stop writing to go to bed, but then I didn’t get around to finishing until nearly a month later.

#Pokemon swsh #swsh critical #Pokemon Home #swsh #isle of armor #crown tundra #pokemon #pokemon critical

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fantroll-purgatory · 6 years ago

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Tethered AU (Us spoilers)

Saw Us, loved it, had this idea kicking around in my head for two trolls and wanted to get it out with my precious half hour of free time.

I FINALLY saw Us, after about a million years of wanting to, and I’ve gotta say that I’m surprised that we haven’t gotten any Cherubs for this concept yet. I hope we get some. But anyways this is a FANTASTIC troll. I honestly probably won’t have much to say besides praise throughout this review, because like… yeah.

AU Details:

Deliberately kept sketchy since the movie didn’t elaborate much either.

The Tethered live in sea-accessible caves on a conquered planet of the Condesce’s. The result of a seadweller experiment that involved deliberately splitting an egg and taking one of the resulting trolls belowground and injecting them liberally with burgundy blood in the hopes of forging a psychic link through which their aboveground counterpart could be controlled. Unfortunately, since this experiment was largely carried out with upper class bluebloods, their Tethered were psychically susceptible to the link and instead found themselves helplessly puppeted around. Disheartened, the seadwellers abandoned their monstrous experiment, that they might at least serve as adequate food to the feral lusii that lived in the abandoned breeding caverns.

Troll 1: RADIMA AVISCH

Jordan Peele was clearly trying to go for a “Red Queen” thing with the two women’s names, so I created Radima’s first name from Romanch for “queen.” Her second name comes from “giavisch,” the Romanch word for “desire,” which is one of the meanings of Adelaide’s married name, Wilson.

Queen of Desire is a great name for this character and a character inspired by Adelaide in general. One of my favorite parts of the movie was definitely the dual sympathy and criticism of Adelaide and this hits that note well.

Age: 18 Sweeps

Strife Specibus: pokerkind

Also kicks like Joey’s in Hiveswap.

Fetch Modus: PAS DE DEUX

Items must be put in two at a time and can only be retrieved as such. Sometimes items will “trade partners” and eject with a different one than it started with (the reasoning for new pairings is unknown).

Blood color: Mutated teal

Has burgundyblood psychic susceptibility, theoretically.

Symbol and meaning:

Teal bunny based vaguely off Limini, Bergun’s original sign.

Something like this maybe?

LIMINI - THE ABIDER

To abide, of course, meaning to acquiesce your will… Very fitting. Trolltag: therandomMinornote [TM]

In the trailer, Adelaide’s snapping is a little off in rhythm, which is odd since she’s a ballerina. Radima, similarly, does not fit in, and it shows in the fact that her trolltag’s cadene doesn’t match the traditional two-word format. It’s from a lyric of Janelle Monae’s “I Like That,” which appears on the Us soundtrack and is itself a nod to duality and varying from the norm. Furthermore, the abbreviation [TM] is once again her trying to mark herself as sufficiently “real.”

Quirk: Sorry, I’m not one for small talk.

Only odd in that she has no quirk at all. It unsettles other trolls.

Special Abilities (if any):

Passive psychic link to Bergun in which Bergun is propelled around is Radima’s emotions are sufficiently elevated. Potentially an example of a “success” from the previously mentioned experiment.

Lusus: A massive wolpertinger.

Radima seemed distant from it every since an incident in which she wandered off at about 3 sweeps old, and flinched whenever she saw it. Seemed palpably relieved when it was killed by another, bigger lusus.

Personality:

Warm and loving to those she trusts, friendly but reserved to those she doesn’t. Radima seems to lack the zeal for widespread social change characteristic of her fellow tealbloods. She prefers to keep to herself and moderate a local library, where she can help others learn of the world she calls home.

Interests:

Ballet, books, music, gardening. Has a very strong aversion to water and the beach.

Title: Thief of Life

Pretty self-explanatory; she knocked out and replaced Bergun when they were 3 sweeps old. While she keeps to herself, she is relentlessly driven.

I am almost tempted to make the obvious Heart-Mind suggestion considering the fact that those are more related to concepts of identity than Life and Doom, but Bergun/Red definitely are so community-motivated that they sidestep the internalized issues/struggle of Heart-Mind. Life is about essence and growth and she did steal Bergun’s developmental energy very literally, so it’s Fair And Fitting. that’s a lot of words to say I agree.

Land: Land of Smoke and Mirrors (LOSAM)

The land is full of references to magic, from puzzle-like mirrors to adorable fluffy bunnies. The fumes threaten to choke her if she doesn’t figure out how to restore life to the planet to sap it of its excess carbon dioxide.

Dream Planet: Prospit

Radima could not think of a way to live a happy life without hurting another, and the resulting fear is directly because she cannot believe it was a destiny she was allowed to thwart. She knows that Bergun MUST come for her.

Appearance:

Radima uses black and teal in excessive amounts, as if to say “how do you do, fellow tealbloods???”

Troll 2: BERGUN ZWILIG

She named herself. A short version of Burgundy (the blood color she’s believed to have), AND one of the names of a former Swiss municipality (Bergun/Bravuogn), a double-named place. Last name derived from the German word for “twin,” which may seem on the nose but Adelaide’s maiden name is “Thomas,” which means the same thing in Aramaic.

She presumably named herself, which makes it seem even more likely that she would think to pick something obvious like Another Word For Twin.

Age: 18 sweeps

Strife Specibus: scissorkind

Fetch Modus: NUTCRACKER

She needs to crack the cards open, which puts captcha cards at a worrying premium. If she exerts too much force she may also damage the item inside in addition to the card itself. Bee – caarefuul –

Blood color: Teal

Presents as burgundy, same as the other Tethered.

Symbol and meaning:

Burgundy bunny based vaguely off Arsci, Radima’s original sign

Something like-

ARSCI - THE MEDIC

That’s a fun one.

Trolltag: distonicInsurgent [DI]

Both a reference to her dystonic voice and her dystopic circumstances. Insurgent is obvious but it also carries the root for rising up, which is great.

Quirk: Oonce – uupoon – aa – time –

Doubles audible vowels and breaks up her words with harsh breaths.

Special Abilities (if any):

Passive psychic link to Radima. Unclear if there’s any utility there.

Lusus: None but the feral, flayed rabbit lusii that roam the caverns.

The serve as effective guards, terrifying caretakers, and – if one can get the jump on one – a wholesome meal. They’re a reference to the Hare of Inuyaba, who used deception to cross what should have been an uncrossable barrier and was flayed alive when the deception was revealed. The actual myth resolves with the rabbit being healed after someone showed it kindness, but in this case it only serves to highlight the brutality of the underground.

Personality:

Bergun was born aboveground and continues to be a tealblood to her bones, inciting rebellion with harsh and terrifying speeches.

Interests:

Murder, ballet, sewing (making the jumpsuits for herself and the other insurgents is extremely grounding for her because it’s one of the few things she has that has nothing to do with Radima), sign language (a specific one crafted by the Tethered, unmappable to existing Alternian languages)

She also has a love for Rebellion. And maybe fantasy stories. One of the things Red clings onto is stories from her childhood, since she isn’t given the chance to read any more after she is taken, presumably. You could probably give her a love for that, too. Storytelling.

Title: Page of Doom

Once again, self explanatory. Bergun was dragged underground by Radima, and while she herself was subjected to doom, she allowed it to simmer for 15 sweeps before the resulting backlash erupted from underground. She is herself the inevitable force Radima fears so much.

Land: Land of Tethers and Tightropes (LOTAT)

In a cruel twist of fate, Bergun’s land is covered in ropes, which are stretched across cliffs high above the valleys below, the Land so covered in fog that she can’t see the bottom. This is the highest above ground she’ll ever be. But is the quickest way to reach the denizen by cutting the rope and seeing where the fall takes her?

Dream Planet: Derse

Which she herself is a destiny for Radima, Bergun’s own arc is about rejecting the rules put in place for how the Tethered ought to behave.

Appearance:

I was just thinking the burgundy jumpsuit, and the same sprite as Radima’s but for fatigued, but I am very open to suggestions!

I love all of this and as I said, I feel like I didn’t have many suggestions. This is just an all around great troll and a fantastic interpretation of the characters in Us. Thank you for sharing!

-CD

#rustblood #maroonblood #burgundyblood #mutantblood #tealblood #submission #shoutyourporpoise #cd review #review #radima avisch #radima #avisch #bergun zwilig #bergun #zwilig #tethered au

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sparkledeerfr · 6 years ago

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Castle Snoopin’

Some vignettes of the first day of everyone getting to snoop. We learn a little about Gren and it doesn’t surprise anyone. We learn a little about other people that might.

And yeah, there is a bunch of stuff in there. That’s just what happens if you leave Gren out of sight for long enough.

Warnings: Death mentions (we didn’t know ‘em it’s cool), a swear or two.

It was honestly weird seeing the giant doors- things nearly the size of the main gate- open on the front of The Castle, weirder still to see people milling in and exploring out of curiosity. Booker and Hex were keeping an eye on things, making sure no visitors went inside until the place was good and cleared out. Between Daniel (traps and mimics that Adeline swore were now breeding new varieties of their own accord. There was no way the man remembered how many he had), Grenfell (definitely had things in there, would flat out refuse to say exactly what until they found it, of course), and the place itself deciding to move things it could be dangerous, especially for anyone unused to the oddities of the city. Pattel had been good enough to offer to help and March would likely be wandering somewhere with Kylie.

That combined with the Shielders meant there was more than enough people keeping watch that hopefully, really, really hopefully, someone wouldn’t blow themselves up. Or get a hand or foot eaten.

---

Grenfell was wandering upstairs intending to check on something, but in the meandering way of one who didn’t want to go directly to his destination and possibly lead someone else there. He also rather enjoyed seeing people walking around, making little comments about things. Yes, he knew the place was dark and creepy. It was supposed to be. It was also supposed to make him stand out though yes, looking back on it the place was a bit dreary and poorly laid out, but that could be easily changed.

Gods he was becoming domesticated, wasn’t he? He was actually looking forward to planning and revamping with Sparks, possibly with some snippy input from Katsu. A hand reached up to absentmindedly pet Pietro who was in his usual place- slung across his shoulders like a cat, or more accurately the bodies of at least three pets gelled together. Perhaps it was parental instinct to improve the nest. His son did deserve to grow up someplace nice, maybe with some potted plants decorating-

“Hey,” a voice said, and there was a light slap on his arm. Grenfell paused his thought process and looked down to see the slight but athletic frame of Crunch.

“Yes, darling?” he asked. There was a momentary scrunch of her face, easily visible even with the travelling hood and goggles. Crunch wasn’t fond of his tendency to call everyone pet names, but she also knew he meant nothing by it and was unlikely to change. It was simply habit, a thing he did to signal that he liked you, or could at least stand you.

“There’s somethin’ I’ve been wantin’ to ask you about for a while,” she said, putting a gloved hand on a hip. “You mind?”

“Not at all.”

----

“Alice, be careful,” Samuel said and she tried not to snort. He was still rail thin and looked about half dead, dragging his left foot slightly as it hadn’t regained all of its feeling.

“Me be careful?” she asked good naturedly, coming up and putting a shoulder under one of his arms. “We should find you a chair. You need rest.” He was on the trail of something in this place, and his curiosity wouldn’t let him stop until he found what was bothering him and examined it. Unfortunately he couldn’t just manifest in The Castle and relax- there was some kind of odd warping magic that as he put it it ‘made it feel like there’s wind stinging my eyes.’

“Just a few more minutes,” he said, trying not to let wear enter his voice. He was grateful to be able to actually move again, to have a body, but why did everything have to be so slow and tiring? “And yes, you’re the one most affected by sudden magic surges.”

“Hush fuss bucket,” she said, sticking her tounge out. “I’ll be fine for a few m-m-m-” Alice shook her head, though Samuel caught it, the slight blinking skip in her form. “-Minutes.”

“Ah,” he replied. He’d apologized repeatedly about what had gotten them into this state in the first place but still felt poorly, perhaps because it seemed she could never be mad at him. She was just happy that he was alive and recovering, which didn’t exactly relieve his guilt. Odd that it would be easier if she’d yell at him a little.

“Skip?” she asked when she saw his face, even half covered in rot and bandages it was easy to see what he was thinking. He never was any good at concealing feelings.

“Skip,” he nodded as they continued slowly forward and found themselves in another open hall. What was this one supposed to be? A grand dining area? Formal living? It just looked like a large fancy room with peeling black and gold wallpaper.

There were more stairs, some leading up and some down. His instincts said down, but externally he sighed. This place seemed to be made of stairs, and Alice was right, he was getting tired. “Man, finding our way back out is going to be a nightmare,” she said, looking up to the decorative tin ceiling that didn’t seem to reflect much of the low lighting in the room.

“I believe that was an intentional design decision,” Sam said, making his way slowly down the steps. “But we’re close to whatever it is, I can feel it.”

---

Adeline walked, hands in her pockets and feeling over the small rocks she’d placed in there to toss at things that seemed suspicious. Already she’d found three rug mimics and a brand new fun breed- a painting mimic. That one was at least easy to spot as it was a splotchy purple that almost looked like an impressionist painting, until you realized it was a bit too thick and its ‘frame’ was also purple.

She heard an irritated sigh coming from an open room down the hall (at least this hall was average sized) and recognized the voice: Santi.

Adeline poked her head in. “What’s-” she started when she realized what the room contained. In the center was what could be considered a statue. The thing was enormous and looked to be a mass of skeletons all carved of grey stone, each crawling over each other and reaching out with bony fingers almost plaintively, jaws open in a silent cry.

Then she saw what the mass was reaching for- statues of the gods against the walls, faces barely lit. It could resemble a very inclusive prayer room if you didn’t notice that the gods were all twisting over each other, constricting as though swimming in a strong current, and each face was a mocking and angry mask. She found Stormcatcher whose mouth was open and baring fangs, mantis arms lifted as though intending to take a chunk out of something larger in front of him.

She wasn’t exactly religious, but there was no damn way she was going in that room. Santi was a bit braver in this regard and was currently standing in front of Lightweaver, the heels of his hands pressed against his eyes in irritation. “It’s all enchanted, isn’t it?” she asked him.

“MmmmHrM,” he said as an annoyed noise, nodding and standing as though attempting to give himself the will to push entirely through his own face.

She pointed to the mass of carved skeletons. “And there are actual bodies in that?”

“MmmHRM.”

“Welp,” she said, hands still on the frame of the doorway as she looked back up and caught the face of the Arcanist, needle sharp teeth coming from a strange alien form. “Just uhhhh….let me know if you need something. And thank you. A bunch.”

----

“So”, Crunch asked Gren as she looked up at a giant stone face that slightly resembled a porcelain mask with its eyes shut. They were in a lower area, near what one would call the basement if it weren’t for the tunnels even further below them, but this place looked unfinished, especially as it had hard packed dirt floors. The giant mask, easily more than ten feet in height, was placed high above them between two sets of stairs leading upwards. “What’s it do?”

“Oh that thing,” Grenfell said, waving a hand and walking over to a blank grey brick wall. “Where is it where is it?” he asked mostly to himself as he looked the bricks over, trying to remember. “Ah yes, here.” He reached a hand through the stone as it if were water and Crunch tensed, ready to run if there was the slightest thing off, but still she was curious.

The face opened its eyes, revealing they were made of painted ceramic with bright blue irises. She waited but it just...blinked. After a few more seconds when Gren had stood back next to her and was watching it with her, she realized that was it. “I have been looking at that damn thing for years,” Crunch said as the face blinked again with a slight grinding noise of stone against stone. “I was like ‘man that’s gotta do some bullshit’...and you’re telling me that’s it?”

“Yes!” Grenfell said happily as Pietro hissed at the unfamiliar sight. “Not everything has to do something. That’s the art of it, Crunch. If everything does something then nothing is frightening. It’s all about ambiance.”

“So it's all made to scare people?”

“Most things in the Castle and some of the city, yes.” Grenfell said, bouncing on the balls of his feet and clasping his hands behind his back. “You see any fool with a knife can make someone afraid, but to do it simply through environment without them setting eyes on you? Now that I would call a skill. You want a sense of creeping dread, so that when you do finally arrive, it has settled into their bones.”

“So its kinda…” Crunch stopped and looked back up at that stupid face. Yeah, she guessed if she was crawling around in an unknown place and saw that thing she would be put right off. “Tactics?”

“Oh no no,” Grenfell said, happy to share his thought process. “My very favorite thing is when I finally corner someone and they know, they absolutely know that they are going to die and there’s nothing they can do about it. You can see it in their face. It’s artistry, really. Environmental storytelling followed by force.”

“Right,” she nodded, not really getting it but understanding the idea. “But you’re fine with us? I mean your favorite thing is murder and all.”

“It is,” he said, and his hand went back up to pet Pietro. There was something very reassuring about his strange purr and the way he rubbed his head against his hand. He was such a good child. “And perhaps if different people had taken over my city there would be a very different story happening. But...I have friends. I have my son. Let us enjoy this collaboration while we have it. Time marches ceaselessly on, and I can afford to wait.”

“Yeah,” Crunch said, crossing her arms before looking up to his face. “You’re alright for a crazy person.”

“Thank you!”

---

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be exploring, dear?” Nimue asked Kylie, who was currently holding a child in her arms as they stood in one of the few rooms Jamison had re-done completely. There was actual paint, color, light and furniture.

Of all the things Kylie had expected to find in this city, the fact that the giant creepy castle was home to parents wasn’t one of them. It wasn’t that they had kids, it was just that they exuded...parent...ness. It was probably that Nimue was lounging on a padded bench by the window with Yuki and Jam had offered her sandwiches. You also kind of felt weird cussing around them.

“Oh heck no. I am not touching anything in here until Santi’s looked at it first,” Kylie said, bouncing the kid in her arms. Apparently the boy had earned the nickname ‘Near’ for his tendency to stay out things and instead observe them from a distance. Well, when you had a sister like Yuki you probably let her take care of the action. “Why do they call you Jam and not like...James?”

“I’ve changed my appearance quite a few times over the years,” Jam replied. “One look contained a lot of purple, and the nickname stuck.” He noticed that March was attempting his usual passive mode of lounging with his back against a wall, ankles and arms crossed, but his tail was twitching. “Are you certain that you wouldn’t like to sit?” Jam asked him. He’d said hello to March a few times before now, so what was making him be on edge? Nimue? The new environment?

March shook his head before tilting it at Jam. Ah. “Relax big guy,” Jam said to him, wanting to go over and clap him on the shoulder but knowing that wasn’t the right move. He’d settle on his own. “Been retired a long time now. Longer than Walter, actually.”

Jam felt his wife’s eyes suddenly on him, boring a hole straight into him as Kylie asked: “Who’s Walter?” Oh dear. March put a hand out and traced something onto her shoulder, causing Kylie to gently set Near on the ground. “Excuse me I need to go right now. Just uh...forgot something. Be right back.”

Jam looked up at the ceiling and sighed, knowing who was going to be behind him if he turned around. It was a thing you got used to. “Sorry,” he said. “I’m used to it just being us in here.”

“Great,” Walter said, walking around him and picking Near up from the floor. “Everyone’s going to know in-”

“WHAT,” the voice of Jack came from down the hall. “It’s been TEN GODDAMN YEARS YOU SHIT.”

“-thirty seconds.”

----

Samuel was feeling about how Adeline had felt about the god room, standing just outside the doorway and peering into something he wished 1) wasn’t there and 2) that he hadn’t seen. He was a naturally curious person and something of a magical researcher, but there was no way he was stepping more than a foot in there.

He knew what the strange glowing thing in the center of it was- silvery rings twisting and flitting around each other like a child’s toy. A Rifedel’s Compass, an item meant to slowly leech magical energy from an area and then later be reversed to expend said energy. A handy thing when you were working with say, magical items that could be dangerous. Arcane energy in particular had a tendency to do what it wanted if not properly contained.

But he’d only ever seen ones with three rings, and he also knew the more power they leeched the more chaotic and potentially dangerous the compass itself became. The world’s energy wasn’t meant to be stuffed into a container, after all.

This thing had twelve rings, it was spinning wildly and there were inscriptions all around the conical room that he could feel were moving the energy around, expending at least some of it. He was also aware that the city itself was sitting on a Shadow leyline. Grenfell had put this stupid thing on a goddamn leyline and left it there. There was an obsidian circle set in the floor below it, which probably did something he didn’t understand quite yet. Sam put a hand to his face. No wonder this whole city was constantly flooded with magic, and if he attempted to turn it off there was a very, very large chance of it exploding and a possible chain reaction with the leyline.

For someone so clever Grenfell could be really dumb. Or maybe the entire point was mutually assured destruction. Samuel straightened himself and looked back to Alice, who had her hands over her mouth and nose and was breathing slowly, concentrating on not skipping. “Let’s get you away from here,” he said.

“That would b-b-b-” she looked towards the ceiling and gave a frustrated sigh as her entire body flickered like candlelight in a breeze, threatening to blink away somewhere in time. “BE good.”

“Really, really sorry about that,” Samuel said, wincing slightly. Maybe he shouldn’t be so hard on Gren for trying things that were very stupid in hindsight. It seemed a habit of Arcane dragons to push the limits and occasionally have it snap back into your face.

“I know, you don’t need to k-k-k-....ugh.”

“Yeah, I do.”

#sparklelore #the reason why Santi's the highest paid person in the city #the legend: the sequel #a little long but eh

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eloarei · 7 years ago

Text

WIP Game

List the things you’re excited to work on this year in as little or as much detail as you like, and then tag some friends!

Tagged by @enchantedtalisman (and again it won’t tag you. Tch. Sorry. But thanks for the tag!)

(Behind a cut, because you don’t want to read all that. ...Or maybe you do?)

In no particular order, because my level of excitement changes at the drop of a hat: 6 BNHA fics, and one each FFXV and FO4. 1700 words of synopses and babbling. (Friends who read my stuff: if you wanna skim through these and tell me which one(s) (if any) you’d most want to read, that’d be rad. =D Will it influence what I work on? Who knows? My inspiration is fickle as shit. But it couldn’t hurt.)

1. “Touch2” -- current WIP, 10k + notes. BNHA. Dekumight. Estimated total: 20k? Picking up right where “Touch” left off, this fic is a slightly more detailed/slow/slice-of-life story than its predecessor. The 10k I’ve written so far takes place over the course of only 2 days, and it’s mostly Toshi and Izuku getting to know each other, and Toshi being yelled at by his manager (an OC called Suzuki). The general plot of the story doesn’t deviate very far from canon, as far as I’ve planned. “Touch2” will probably cover at least up to the entrance exam, but I’m not entirely sure. Given that leisurely pace, there’ll probably have to be a Touch3 and 4 as well, if not even more. I’ve been slowly hacking away at this one since the start of December, just in between whatever else I might be working on. Kind of got to a point where I need to actually think about what happens next? ^^; Also, it’s gotten too long to be a one-shot, I think, but I’m going to have to be careful how I split it up. It’s not written for splitting… Well, I’ll figure it out. Just gotta keep writing first.

2. “Make the Most sequel, and side stories” -- only notes. BNHA. Dekumight. Estimated total: lots??? I’m lumping these all together, but this includes quite a few stories, some of which I have plans/notes for, some only ideas. One of the first is a fic that might be, at most, half the length of MtM, which is the events of MtM from Toshi’s POV. This was actually requested by a friend, but it was something I kind of already wanted to do, which is cool. Other side stories include perspectives from other characters, some things like dates and vacations, Izuku learning to use his powers, and some extra NSFW scenes, because why not? After all of those, I intend for there to be an ‘official sequel’, taking place towards the end of Izuku’s college run, which might function as more of an epilogue than a sequel, due to the potential lack of actual plot. Geez there is just so much potential for this series to go on in side-stories and extras and etc. I actually get a little mad at myself whenever I neglect to continue it, because it’s sort of my main, well, IP, I guess you’d say. It’s my kudos breadwinner. XD I should just do it!

3. “Loveless epilogue” -- only notes. BNHA. Dekumight. Estimated total: 7k? A short...er sequel/epilogue, taking place roughly a year (I might change that) after the main story, revolving (spoiler alert) around Toshi figuring out if/when/how to propose to Izuku, and summing up how things have gone in the past year. Mushy because I love marriage, okay guys, I just love it so much, and also a little bit morbid because of an in-universe tradition that could be considered either romantic or creepy, depending on your views. =D I actually ought to write this one like… immediately, while the main fic is still fresh in my mind. It’s extremely self-indulgent, maybe more than just, y’know, my normal writing. But I think at least some of the people who read LOVELESS will like it. ^^ And I will, I think. And that’s all that really matters, right?! *shakes head ‘no’*

4. “Waste” -- current WIP, 1k + notes. BNHA. Dekumight(-ish?), and Deku+friends. Estimated total: 15k???? No. Probably more. A Fallout fusion. Vault 211 (21-1 or twenty-one one) has been carefully breeding superpowers into its population for the past 200 years, but if yours doesn’t show up by your 18th birthday, prepare to be kicked out on your ass into the unforgiving wasteland. Guess who’s the newest resident of the wastes? Lucky for Izuku, he meets a frightening creature who takes to looking out for him. ‘Human’ under some description, he’s sure, this guy has radiation levels through the roof. Burly super-mutant by day, gangly rotting ghoul by night, he doesn’t exactly have a lot of friends, but boy is he good at surviving in the hellscape that the world has become. I freaking love Fallout a whole lot, and look, Toshi/All Might is so very much a ghoul/super mutant, and vaults just give you so much free reign to give people powers and etc etc, look, it just seemed like something that would work. Not sure really how it’s going to go, but we’ll see. =]

5. “Nana/Toshi darkfic” -- only notes. BNHA. Nana/Toshi (probably NSFW) and Dekumight. Estimated total: 20k??? His mentor was beautiful, kind, strong-- perfect. He didn’t realize she was being eaten away by a dark pit in her heart. He didn’t know if leaving her alone would help it. He just wanted to be with her so badly, to please her, to make that smile real, and she lacked the fortitude to refuse him anything that would make him happy. A fic about Nana and Toshi becoming perhaps too close, and Nana struggling with depression. Following the canon timeline moderately closely, it shouldn’t be a surprise that it will include a major character death, and the fallout surrounding it. Hoo boy did the desire to write this fic just hit me like a ton of bricks a few weeks ago. This is going to be a dark, sad, uncomfortable story, most likely. And although it will end with Dekumight, the large part of the plot will still revolve around Nana/Toshi, so I’m not sure most of my normal readers will want to touch it. XD;;; I think the inspiration to write this came somewhat from the feeling that the ending to LOVELESS was not nearly as dark as it could have been, haha. Every so often I just want to challenge myself and see how many boundaries I can push. ^^;

6. “Feed” -- only notes. BNHA. Dekumight. Estimated total: 15k? In a world ruled by a vampiric shadow known as All for One, Izuku’s group has been trying to find ways to fight him. Nearly everyone is of this man’s blood now, since he started handing out powers to gain followers. But it’s said that an artifact of some sort exists still which can give the power to defeat him. Izuku, with the purest blood of his group, is chosen to seek it out. But the artifact is a vampire, the last of AfO’s first ‘children’, frozen and starving after failing to defeat his ‘father’, and Izuku almost doesn’t survive the encounter. I want to write this fic, and I think I should do it while it’s still cold and gloomy, because that’s the feel of the setting, but if I get distracted and don’t get around to it, I probably won’t be too upset.

7. “Parents AU” -- current WIP, 6k + notes. FFXV. Gladnis + Ignis&Noctis. Estimated total: 40k? Teenage Ignis and Gladio happen to be babysitting the toddler prince when the Empire attacks, and in the chaos they manage to get safely mixed into the crowd of civilians fleeing the city. They decide to treat him as their own until they can be sure it’s safe to return him to someone with more seniority. But will it ever be safe? Fifteen years in hiding says no, and even when Noct is old enough to be asked to save the world, there’s no way in hell his parents are going to let him go it alone. I tried to continue writing this the other day and it was terrible. Painful. I almost cried. Literally every word of the 30 or so I managed before I gave up were the hardest things I’ve ever written. I think if I go back and play the game again (which I’d like to, since there’ve been updates and DLC), I think it will be easier. Honestly though, this is one of my favorite things I’ve yet written, so if I don’t see it to fruition, I will be moderately pissed.

8. “Same Heart” -- current WIP, 30k + notes. FO4. Estimated total: 90k (35k for act 1) The great synth detective Nick Valentine is recaptured by the Institute, remade and reset. He awakes to his new life underground, unaware that he ever roamed the wasteland-- except for the rare moments when they plug in his old memories so they can grill him for info. Though the memories are gone again after every session, they leave an aftertaste of distrust for the people he’s working with, until it’s too much to ignore. Meanwhile, he finds himself as the only person who seems to truly care about the little boy they’re all calling their savior, doing his best to help him grow up with some modicum of love in this sterile environment. When Nick finally decides to break out of their fancy little prison, it’s not a question whether he’ll take Shaun with him, and it’s obvious where they’ll go: to find the parents the Institute stole him from. This one haunts me, because I spent like 3 months doing practically nothing but writing this last year. I got almost, almost all the way through the first act (out of 3), and then… stopped. Now I know it’s going to be impossible to get back into. And this is already a very different story for me, because it’s essentially a gen fic. The intention is for acts 2 and 3 to focus on Nick and the ‘sole survivor’ Nora, but the whole first act is about him half-raising her son, Shaun. I really want to finish this, or geez, at least the first act! Because it is painful having 30k sitting around that nobody has ever seen. And it’s pretty decent! But even though I have 6 chapters done, I don’t want to start posting it until it has a halfway decent ‘conclusion’, so I need to finish the act. I have to.

And I’ll tag… uh… @oldseablues, @braincoins, @thenightisdarkandfullofbooty, @orionskingdom, @animeuzumaki7, @blessedblooduniverse, @rangrids, and anyone else who’s reading this and is also a writer. =] Tag me back so I can see it, please! ^^

#elo talks #elo fics #tag meme

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beebosbitchh · 7 years ago

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1-65 ;)

holy heck ! thank you sophiw i lov u 🍒

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

i dont understand this question?? like sometimes i doubt my own existence and other times i doubt that i exist to certain ppl? ya?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

2,, normal amount? like good for sleep but pitch black is scaryy but not to the point i need the escape ?? if that makes sense??

3. The person you would never want to meet?

guy fieri, i dont think i need to know if hes actually real ? like is he real and from this dimension or from flavortown (which he has a very scarily detailed description of)?? thats not something i need to know

4. What is your favorite word?

hmm, probably ‘fam’ obviously

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

a willow tree !!!!!!!!!! i just talked to my mom about this :-0

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

ngl but i dont look in the mirror anymore unless its lip syncing along to a song sung by a guy/someone w a deeper voice bc i feel like it suits me better! gotta love coping w dysphoria!

7. What shirt are you wearing?

baseball tee, gay

8. What do you label yourself as?

nb, lesbian, fool

9. Bright room or dark room?

dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

slepe

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

10-11 when i was in 5th grade. i still only had two friends but i was way more extroverted and everything was so carefree and i was very invested in adventure time and art. i think that was the most of a childhood i got? i honestly did not do much as a kid and i wish i had..

12. Who told you they loved you last?

sophiw ! tumblr user almightyportraits ! the loml !

13. Your worst enemy?

14. What is your current desktop picture?

one from apple called ‘abstract shapes’ its very orange but also blue which is my fave color pairing atm so its perfect

15. Do you like someone?

tumblr user vahilla

16. The last song you listened to?

megan played ‘marceline’ by willow in her car ! a song i suggested to her a few months ago and it makes me very happy that she likes it especially bc we bonded over adventure time in 6th grade :-)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

mmyy seelfff ??

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

mmmyseyyffelllff ??

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

eh whats the point

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

n o ne ?

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

what is the opposite of nb,, i feel like if i was opposite of how i present id be a girl, which is a verryyy weird thought for me, pass

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

no :-/

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

uh first of all blood, like, ill pass out,, second of all,, literally everything worries me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

jimmy johns #16, turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato, NO MAYO

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

im a very practical person so the least boring answer i can come up w is more art supplies

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

denmark

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

fukcing , acetoNe

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i think a FIRST rule would have to be pretty IMPORTANT so probably smt like how ~WE THE PEOPLE~ are all EQUAL would be a pretty good start and pretty UNDENIABLE and STRAIGHT FORWARD especially if it was the FIRST thing in this,, hmm lets call it the CONSTITUTION, in the completely hypothetical society

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuk cufck ufc kfuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

sunglasses??!!! that shit gotta be bright huh>?? gotta protect my retinas

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wanna say my first relationship made me a better person but that shit was rreeeaaallyyyy fucking awful and 4 months (+recovery months) that i will never get back and i think ? maybe ?? i wouldve been ok without it ? idk just a thought

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

spain ?!?!? why not + i sorta know the language? thatd b cool

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

zoey my dog :-( i miss her a lot, this month it will have been two years oh my god i miss her so much

34. What was your last dream about?

the last one i remember was a nightmare about someone tryna murder me i was very scared

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

i think so , when i was two i got really really sick and couldve died ?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

ahh yes ! we gave hhimm,, fruit snack nipples, please forgive me fathr

38. What is the color of your socks?

grey w blue n orange stripes ( again i lov blue n orange together, my shirt is teal and i have an orange hat on wow)

39. What type of music do you like?

all! i had to train this new guy at work and im sooo awkward but once why started talking about music it was easy for me to talk bc it was smt we both really like !!! i felt like i could actually communicate w feeling a disconnect it was nice ! we talked mostly about rap which was cool and unexpected but i could do it ? i really love music and i love being able to know enough to talk about it ,, isk

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises, ive been pushing myself to wake up unreasonably early to have more time to myself and i get to watch the sunrise most days which is nice

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

whom?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

college? god i dont even know… smt w art.. by an illustrator or art teacher or freelance artist or graphic designer ,, i really dont know

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

one thing ?!!?!? i wish i was neurotypical

46. Are you reliable?

yes? i try hard to be? i hope so ?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

u still a lil bitch ?

48. Do you hold grudges?

nope i try not to, ive had too many toxic petty people in my life that i dont need to be one myself.. now this is grudges w/o reason, but if ive given people several ‘second chances’ and theyre still (thumbs down) then ill avoid them but w/i reason?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

DOG HORSES BIG DOGs

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

mm probably smt w my lab partner from last year. she always sends me weird quotes from a fanfiction shes reading and its weird but i really appreciate that she still talks to me or talks to me at all tbh

51. Are you a good liar?

nooo ?? i try not to lie? mb not tell the full truth but idk , i feel like id feel too guilty

52. How long could you go without talking?

uhh literally days like i already fucking do.. i m taking this as verbally but i dont get texts so like, it would not be hard

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

before i went to short hair i used to alllwaayyys wear a tight ponytail every single day bc i wasnt girly enough to do anything w it and it was really really gross like thank god i cut it all off

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

heck yeah

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

*clears throat*

hewwo?

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter and jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

58. What would be you dream car?

razor scooter

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

sometimes im just too physically or emotionally exhausted to stand so ill just,, lay down? ive fallen asleep in the shower before ha

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yup

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

whenever it comes up but i dont ,, seek it out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons tf

64. What do you think about babies?

evil, ugly, dont see the appeal. open ur eyes ppl !!!! bbs are n Ot cute !!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

#long post /#mention of dysphoria /#ask #thenk yoy sophiw #this took 4ever but worth it bc it got me to calm down?? coolc ool cool

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sweet-ree · 7 years ago

Text

10 QUESTIONS

I was tagged by the adorable @estalfaed , the beautiful (literally, have you seen her selfies?) @scientistsalarian , and the always funny @natalia-nat-shepard for this. Thank you guys! This is going to take a month to type, I almost wrote it out by hand, lol. So, yeah, this is super long, sorry! If I can figure out how after all the wine I”ll make a cut. I relaly had fun with this. there are few things I won’t answer - mostly due to not remembering that far back - but I think those masturbation questions from the nsfw ask that went around a few weeks ago cover half of them :p. ANYWAY… Here’s the deal.

RULES: ANSWER 10 QUESTIONS, THEN TAG PEOPLE WITH 10 QUESTIONS OF YOUR OWN.

@estalfaed

1. Dream vacation location?

Greece and the islands, a tour of the temples and ruins. That was my major in college, I should probably see them in person during my lifetime.

2. Who did you save - Kaidan or Ashley?

HA! Nothing against Ashley but I saved Kaidan AND I ALWAYS WILL! He is one of my two favorite imaginary husbands, my biotic booty, and just thinking about him makes my hands start with the pinchy grabby motions. which makes typing difficult :)

3. What is your favorite dessert?

It’s called Charlotte Russe. There are many different versions of it, but mine is the best, LOL. When I make it, it is basically a gelatinized custard, fluffled with whipped cream, spike with a shitload of sherry, and lined with cakey lady fingers. Decadent and rich and difficult enough to make that nobody else bothers and thus loves it when I bring it over.

4.What is a MUST-HAVE in a prospective partner?

I try not to be serious. Like EVER. I have alays demanded a compatible sense of humor. I love to laugh. It is important to me and my well being. Now, I am married, and the days where we do not make each other laugh hard at least once are few and far between.

5. Which was your favorite Dr. Who companion (if you watched the show)?

I’ve watched a bit through the years. My favorite companion was Rose. Mostly because I liked Billie Piper from another show she was in Secret Diary of a Call Girl, lol. It was fun, I liked her, so shes my fav.

6. A salt circle is good for keeping out what?

Um, I have no idea. But its great for making my margaritas more delicious!!

7.Favorite Movie?

This was a toughie. I didn’t want to say it, but its gotta be Star Wars original trilogy. I grew up with it. One night - long story short - my friend passed out on my floor. I put Star Wars on the dvd player and freshy cooked bacon by her face so she would have ‘Star Wars Bacon Dreams’. At the time, I thought I was being the BESTEST friend ever, LOL. She was just really confused when she woke up with bacon in her hair XD

8.If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

ooh, cool question. I’ve thought about this a lot actually and never come to a decision. one the one hand, I REALLY want to fly. But I think I’d have to go with selective mind reading. I’m seriously nosy as all get out! So you can see the appeal of this for me, LOL. can be discreet - with other peoples information.

9. You have 3 paths before you, one leads to a misty forest, one leads to a ruined castle, and the last leads to a quiet lagoon. Which do you choose?

The forest is right out - there are spiders in there, and hell no. The castle is tempting for the history, but its probably too spooky for me, I’m going with the lagoon. I LOVE water! Yes, there are probably spiders there too, but I think I can deal with them because of the promise of cool clean water to float in. priorities.

10. If you could see your future, good, bad and in between, would you want to?

My first response was yes. But I changed it. If I couldn’t change the outcome, I wouldn’t want to know because I’d be constantly frustrated. Also, if you don’t make mistakes, you don’t grow as a person. I know that sounds philosophical and dumb, but I’ve been told I’m basically a 12 year old in a 40 year old body. Apparently I need all the personal growth I can get. LOL

NOW THE QUESTIONS FROM @natalia-nat-shepard :)

1. If you could be a character in ME series, which class would you choose?

I’m a sniper in video games by nature. Its kinda my thing, my MO. I actually played all ME as a soldier so I’d have a good reason to keep Kaidan on my squad for 2 of the games. I’m gonna say soldier, but I intend to go back and try out the biotics and all the infiltrator stuff. Though being a soldier never kept me from having other soldier types (Wrex, Grunt, and James) in my squad!

2.Had any exotic/extraordinary pets?

I had a pet snake in college, he was adorable and named Yossarian. He escaped his cage and lived behind my radiator for months. My roommate was livid, but she was the anti-me and I didn’t care :) I never did get him back, By the time I got around to it, he was gone. My first pet after I truly lived on my own was a bunny named Chadwick. She was the cutest!

3.You’re phones ringtone is?

Really fucking lame. Its the old school phone sound that I grew up with., I keep meaning to change it, but never get around to it because nobody ever calls me. Eventually it’ll be Lady Marmalade

4. If you could get anything right now, what would it be?

I want a puppy. Actually I want two because they need friends. I want 2 teacup pomeranian puppies. I have chosen the breed, my family decided they get to choose the names… the front runners are Godzilla, and Lord Poof Destroyer of Worlds. #help me

5.Do you remember your first fictional crush?

Yes, yes I do. The real question is do I want to reveal it? Fine. It was Mark from Battle of the Planets. ROFL. Yes, I used to climb our giant magnolia tree that made the perfect spaceship and pretend I was Princess and basically talk to myself all day, LOL. NO REGRETS

6.Your biggest fear is…

Serious things? Failing my children as a mother. I want them to be happy and healthy and smart and cultured and prepared and badass. Slightly less serious? My biggest fears are burning alive and GODDAMN SPIDERS!!!

7. Phrase from a video game which became like a mantra to you?

LOL! There are few. Just sayin, I’ve been playing video games for a REALLY long time. A few phrases stuck with me all these years. #1 “It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.” Y’all are too young for the Zork text games eh? #2 “I’m here to kick ass and chew bubblegum and I’m all out of bubblegum.” Gotta love Duke Nukem. #3 “Strap yourselves in boys” from StarCraft. #4 “I never asked for this.” Adam Jensen, first imaginary husband. Those are just the ones that come up in my everyday life.

8. Post a gif/smiley face/emoji of your current mood.

Super cool question, I’m totally stealing it! But here… no surprise

9. The best movie you;ve ever watched?

I gotta go with Steel Magnolias. I know its supposed to be a tear jerker, but honestly, I see it as a comedy. I see me and my bestie in the roles of those two ornery old ladies in 40+ years. I think about it all the time in my real life. I know people who can fill almost every role in that movie. But, mainly, “Don’t ask me those questions! I don’t know why. I don’t make the rules!” and “well you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me.” Yes, I’m terrible. I want ALL THE GOSSIP! but I don’t spread it without permission!

10. You’re introvert or extrovert?

I can’t decide if I’m an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert. I meed my alone time or I’m a bitch on wheels. But, I need my social time or I lose my mind. I’ve read descriptions of both, neither seem to work. so I’m torn. whatever, labels, ugh

OK, on to the really tough questions posed by the kick ass @scientistsalarian! These were the hardest, and I’m not sure I can answer them all even now, after a few weeks when I forgot to do it… oops :P

1.If you could cross any two animals and keep the result as a pet, what would they be?

I gotta say hamster and bunny. can you imagine a teeny tiny bunny as a pet? It really doesn’t get much cuter than that.

2. What is the oddest thing that attracts you to someone else (romantically or platonically)?

FUCK! That’s tough one, LOL

3. Who always makes you smile?

There are two answers to this. One is a new friend here on tumblr who is fucking hilarious. I’ll keep his name to myself, but he likes to think he’s boring. HA! I smile every time I read one of his messages. The other is a local friend. She says we’re twins… except I’m not Hispanic or catholic. Those are easy to overlook. She always gets me in trouble. We can be in the middle of a karate class and she and I are turning everything the instructor says into a dirty joke XD. AAAHHHHH a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste!

4.Do you like spicy food?

YES YES YES! Not SO spicy that my tastebuds burn to dust, but if its spicy and I can still taste the floavor, bring it on!!! Put jalapenos on anything and make it better! Hey, not many people know this… champagne goes great with a burger with hot pepper cheese and fries dipped in Henry Bain sauce! Just sayin.

5.What person has had the biggest influence on your life?

6.Favorite Comedian?

hmmm, Dennis Leary was my favorite for a long time. But I think the one that stands out most is Eddy Murphy and Raw. I watched that with my dad when I was in high school. Most of what I remember is that it was all about sex and I was trying to appear like I didn’t get the joke! Seriously, I REALLY didn’t want my dad asking me why I was laughing at all the oral sex jokes ;D No, Dad, I have no idea what he’s talking about <snicker><eye roll> yeah, I don’t think he bought the whole “innocent routine”

7.If you had the power to make one fictional character real, who would you choose?

another toughie. Could I guarantee that this character would be my LI? Then no second thought, Adam Jensen! Well, maybe second though Kaidan Alenko. But if I as trying to be altruistic… I’d say Shepard. This world needs someone who can do what has t be done and say fuck you at the end of it… of course that is all based on MY opionion of what has to be done…

8.What song is your guilty pleasure?

LOL. Its a guilty pleasure so I don’t want to tell you… I have a few. Basically anything by FloRida, I can dance or run to that. There is also the ooccasional Grateful Dead when I’m drinking and cooking. But I think my main guilty pleasure is anything by Hatsune Miku, especially Ievan Polka. I took my daughter to her concert in Chicago last year and it was the coolest thing i’ve ever seen in my life! The singer was a damn hologram! wtf. it was amazing.

9.You now have the power to grant the hiccups to anyone at anytime. How do you use this power for maximum comedic effect/chaos?

ROFL. Easy. Trump rally/speech/whatevcer. Anything to keep me from hearing what that jackass spews on a regular occasion.

10. How quickly do you fall in love?

Unfortunately its too quickly. I’m kinda old, and I’ve been around the block a few times. Ive been in love a good handful of times. Some lasted some didn’t. I’m married with children now. But that falling in love thing, its still too easy.

Now, the hard part. Coming up with my own questions and tagging other.s I’m totally stealing the questions I found most intriguing. I’m tagging people I’m curious about and I KNOW haven’t been tagged for this yet. I’m also atgging people I know won’t answer, but tough shit. If nothing else, it makes me happy to think about you thinking about these answers even if in your own mind only… that made sense in my head… whatecver

NEW QUESTIONS

1. What’s your sign? Birthday?

2. Favorite cocktail? (If you don’t drink, favorite concoction?)

3. Do you have any special/unusual/secret talents?

4. What is a personal accomplishment you are proud of? Did anyone tell you that you couldn’t do it?

5. What is your favorite stuffed animal? Current please (and don’t tell me you don’t have any, I’m over 40 and I have lots incl a giant Appa, I wont believe you) LOL

6. Favorite fic writers?

7. Phrase from a video game which became like a mantra to you? (one of my favorite questons!)

8. Who was your first fictional crush? (another favorite)

9. Any kinks you’d like to share?

10. Post a gif/smiley face/pic/emoji of your current mood.

You guys tagging me makes me feel special. I am thrilled to think that someone cares about these things. If I don’t tag you, and you want to answer, please do!!! I’m so fucking nosy, LOL. If I tag you and you have NO INTEREST in this stuff, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know so I don’t tag you again - I know some of you have dedicated blogs and don’t want this crap on them. sorry for duplicate tags, its too hard to keep track of this shit. So, @thebustystclair @conartist23 @javixr @blueteaparty @nightmarestudio606 @missannaraven @bardofheartdive @hiroike @humblydefiant @gayscottryder @izzabellatee @willowdeville @saphistar @shotce @skartoargento @mshenkoaddiction @arkesstuff @ellebeedarling

As ALWAYS no expectations! Take it for what it is, Me being curious :)

#10 questions #ask thing #seriously people if you don't wanna be tagged ever let me know now #a few a you I'm really dying to know more about #a few of you I know have absolutely no interest in this kind of shit #but as I said I'm nosy af #you gotta shout out if you don't want me to tag you again #ask response #about me

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one-more-miracle-gatsby · 8 years ago

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I just finished Impyrium by Henry H Neff and I’m gonna talk about it because I have a lot of feelings so spoiler warning

-I completely forgot the demon’s conditions for the Red Winter Treaty so I saw the Prusian Sea on the map and I was like “huh I wonder what the crafty bastard did to get an ocean named after him” and then I got to the line about underwater demon kingdoms and I was like THAT’S RIGHT THEY BANISHED HIM TO THE SEA and of course he still managed to go make himself a successful kingdom like ffs Prusias just enjoy retirement.

-Sigga Fenn is my new favorite character. What a bro. I mean yeah she played Hob like a panther stalking a rabbit and absolutely would have killed him in an instant and we don’t still know what her exact orders are but there are times when she does seem to be as sincere and friendly as she can professionally be and like honestly it’s nice to have such a chill agent. Disguising herself as the old lady was hilarious like that was so unnecessary Sigga you didn’t have to steal her dessert

-I love the dynamics between the triplets. Isabel is great.

-homunculus breeding is fascinating oh my god

-”Hazel saw that Harkün had also drawn a dagger with a wavy black blade” TFW you’re such a die-hard Cooper fan you can recognize his weapon 3000 years later

-speaking of the devil, I hope that Mystic with mismatched eyes was a descendant of who I think she was because please imagine Hazel Cooper’s reaction to finding her greatx3k granddaughter gambling with a domovoi

-Like. I know Prime is not going to turn out to be Cooper but there’s a tiny part of my sappy fangirl heart going, “if anyone were to volunteer themselves to be turned into a statue for all eternity to protect Rowan it would probably be him”

-Hob’s sass is beautiful can he give me lessons

-THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SHROPES COOKING AT ROWAN

-I love the quotes at the start of the chapters, not only did they bring more meaning to the chapters but they also provided some context and backstory, like how old David lived to be.

-Honestly Hazel’s mentality was so unapologetically realistic like she was so innocent and oblivious but then she started learning things and I love her revelations that she can take control of her own life. But like she was still allowed to be delicate and cry and sleep with a stuffed giraffe and it wasn’t depicted as weakness.

-I will be forever be impressed at the all the political webs Henry weaves

-Montague’s character development

-I wonder what Ember really did with Mina like did he really eat her or is she chillin in his mouth under the sea

-The two perspectives were so great and it was awesome because you can’t trust the Fellowship and you can’t trust the royals, you can only trust that the main characters themselves will see the faults of their respective sides and make the right decisions. I love how they opened each other’s eyes to new things.

-It’s so cool because The Tapestry was so heavily based in Irish mythology and now Impyrium is based in Tapestry mythology like the original series became the mythology of the new series, which means that our world is part of that mythology. I remember Henry saying something about how The Tapestry was partially a story about human perseverance and that really spoke to me in some parts of this book too. That ancient, scratched-up, barely-working Disney film was so unsettling but so wonderful. Burke’s line about “would you believe we lowly little humans once walked on the moon?” The part where the Fellowship is explaining about how humans once built flying ships and split matter to its smallest components without any magic, just with the sheer power of their minds. It’s inspiring. And it was interesting seeing that different perspective of the destruction of the Book of Thoth, like we were just starting to explore the heavens themselves and then that technology was taken away from us. But like it said, at least we’re still walking on the Earth. It’s surreal reading this and realizing that in this book we are the ancient civilizations. Much of our history is either not known at all or considered a nonsensical fairy tale. But Disney films and the Brothers Grimm tales still exist. Stories persevere, no matter how rare or expensive or illegal they may become. Getting even more meta, it’s just like the stories of the original series becoming the mythology of this one. Stories stick around, no matter how much they may change, and apparently the same applies to humanity.

-I would love to talk to someone who read Impyrium without reading The Tapestry first and find out what that realization was like, when it suddenly dawned on them that this had once been our world.

-It’s also really interesting and kind of funny seeing the empress and the princesses have the whole week-long pilgrimage and put themselves through such physical and mental duress to go worship this mysterious scary god-king from another world when those of us who have read The Tapestry know that this all-powerful warrior is the same guy who got repeatedly bossed around by a talking goose and once used magic to leap 20 feet in the air because he got startled by a robot centipede. The Hound of Rowan, everybody. One thing I always admired about Max’s character was that no matter how much he grew and changed the core of his personality, his kindness and his humor, stayed the same (and even when he went full supernova god in the Workshop he was still able to keep from destroying everybody because of the love he felt for his friends). And I’m glad that even just from that little glimpse we got of him we can see that he still holds that same personality, that he was so eager to help this teenage girl that he forgot about the FATAL WOUND that would literally kill him if he went through the gate like Max never change

-I was not expecting this story to give me so many Max feels like I thought I was over the end of The Red Winter but apparently not. I actually laughed when they brought out the lyrmrills as offerings because it was so beautifully nostalgic and sentimental but also like, what else would it be? The man loves his lymrills.

-Speaking of Max getting bossed around by Hannah I seem to remember her saying she was immortal at the end of The Red Winter so are she and her goslings still wandering around the Direwoods oh god

-Again it must be such a different experience reading this without the context of the first series because that whole Direwoods field trip was kind of a punch in the gut. I remember in The Hound of Rowan reading about the abandoned charges wandering the Sanctuary and forgetting that humans ever cared for them and I thought that was so sad and now the entire Sanctuary is like that. The Sanctuary was such a beacon of hope and peace and now it’s just a creepy haunted forest where little rich kids are afraid to get their feet dirty. Who knows how long selkies live, that could have been Frigga or Helga in the lagoon being so glad to have some humans to play with again. And the ruins of the Warming Lodge and the dvergar brother’s forge. Dude that one classroom had Nile Croakers and domovoi and stuff in cages and the selkies were described as “water beasts” like that was so sad it feels so wrong and it’s such a good representation of how the culture has changed

-Like honestly it’s just such a message about the nature of history. It reminds me of Church’s monologue from the end of season 13 of Red vs Blue, where he talked about the hero never getting to know if his sacrifice was worth it. Max didn’t know what became of his friends or the world he left behind presumably until David’s death (and don’t think I don’t have a fanfic idea about that), and then Max and David and everyone presumably don’t really know what became of their world 3000 years later, like they know the gate and the dragon exist and they know about the Faeregines coming on pilgrimage every few years, but I guess they probably don’t know much beyond that. They never get to see the long-lasting effects of their efforts, and they don’t get to know the perspectives with which people view them and the legends they’ve become. They didn’t want Rowan to become a place for snobby elites, and they didn’t want nonmagical people to be discriminated against, but they can’t do anything about it. Because we can act to change our history, but in the long run we never know how our stories will end up being told. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take action to better our world for the present and the foreseeable future.

-I love all the subtle parallels, intentional or not, between this story and The Tapestry. Kids sneaking out at night for a sleepover on a ship, kids sneaking out for a duel. A man losing his face. Workshop specimens getting stolen. Being betrayed by a friend (honestly, I didn’t suspect Viktor at all until he suggested that they collect firewood and then my mind immediately went to Rolf and Connor for some reason even though there was no real connection). The illustration of Hob outside Hazel’s tent with the House Blade next to the fire reminded me so much of Cooper sneaking into Max’s tent with the poisoned Atropos blade, and it was Scathach the shadow who saved Max and Sigga the shadow who saved Hazel and Hob. History repeats itself. No matter how much some things change, some things still repeat.

-Olly was such a great character, like he had flaws but he acknowledged and apologized for them and he was so great. Sniff.

-Seriously Sigga is that teacher who’s like “I know you’re going though a lot so I’m going to conveniently forget to close the submission box until a while after the due date so I won’t know if you turned the homework in late but if I do catch you turning it in late I gotta fail you sorry”

-Also can we talk about the fact that Ember apparently fell in love with Astaroth’s hell dragon that he conjured from dead people like oh my god Ember plz you guys almost killed each other

-I feel like remember Henry saying something about us eventually getting to hear more about the grymholch from Prusias’s arena and the world it was from and I hope that happens

#The Tapestry #Impyrium #Henry H Neff #Max McDaniels #The Hound of Rowan

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thecinemaelite · 6 years ago

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Since I’ve gotten many people telling me to play the new God of War game, I have finally succumbed to the peer pressure. Of course, since I’m a connoisseur of narrative storytelling, I decided to play the previous six games as well since I’ve never played any God of War games in my life. So, here are my retrospective thoughts on the franchise as a whole, and collective reviews for all seven games that currently exist (excluding the side-scrolling phone app game. I’m not that desperate for entertainment).

God of War HD (2005)

Played on: PlayStation Now

Time to Beat: 8h 41m

MetaScore: 94 Critic / 89 User

My Rating: 8/10

So, an “80%” is not the first grade that came to mind while playing this game. At the beginning, I loved the gameplay and plot but while the story stayed pretty top-notch, the gameplay suffered severe quality fluctuations. Given that this game is 13 years old, functionality and fluidity are critiqued with bias but I can say this fairly objectively: parts of this game are relentlessly frustrating. There are sections where ultimate surgical precision must be maintained by the player, but not by the game. By that I mean that you’ll have to weave between dangers but the “hit boxes” for these dangers are far from exact: this game and its controls are often clunky but at the same time, you’re asked for perfection which makes many aspects of this game simple lucky coin flips. I also appreciated the camera work at times but at other times, it seemed like the absolute stupidest idea in gaming history. The variety of angles is “cool,” but often troublesome and easily substitutable for a simple third person close follow camera type. Artistic, not practical (which is a good way to describe a lot of the mechanics) which is a trait that breeds annoyance almost consistently. Either way, if you have the patience and interest in going back to play this game, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed with the overall experience.

2. God of War II (2007)

Played on: PlayStation Now

Time to Beat: 8h 44m

MetaScore: 93 Critic / 89 User

My Rating: 8/10

The first game I thought was a fantastic story burdened by clunky mechanics that turned parts of gameplay into outright chores but this game was almost the opposite: a smooth game without as impressive a narrative. I never really wanted to beat the game in order to see what became of my playing, but rather to beat the game in order to move onto the next one. Instead of this rags-to-riches plot that made the first so compelling, this is just a revenge tale that plays pretty much the same. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the game but before I go into my positives, I thought I’d get the negatives out of the way beforehand. So, let’s move on to the good parts: damn this game was fun. The added scale and spectacle truly made this feel epic mostly in the sequences that allowed you to fly Pegasus, climb up Titans, and just prove that you are the God of War and not just a soldier of death. Being able to fight Zeus and feel like you’re able to kick his ass given the work you’ve done to upgrade your attacks and weapons was extremely fulfilling. The puzzles weren’t nearly as puzzling but being able to sprint through them just sort of added to the power I felt at the controls of our anti-hero. It’s a ton of fun, that much I can’t deny. Flying with the wings of Icarus was also an added bonus which brings me to my favorite and least favorite parts of the game: the lore it swims, and sometimes drowns, in. Look, it’s really great to interact with Greek gods, Titans, and other creatures of lore but sometimes I thought that the game would have benefitted from re-writing some of these elements. Mainly, 10-arm 10-boobed Great Uncle Ugly that you have to beat towards the end. That was more offputting and disgusting than threatening and I wanted to get it over with more than I did want to feel accomplished by beating him. It’s still a great experience and I enjoyed it slightly more than the first, the mechanics were the most cherished improvement.

3. God of War: Chains of Olympus (2008)

Played on: PlayStation Now

Time to Beat: 3h 13m

MetaScore: 91 Critic / 86 User

My Rating: 5/10

I’m not too sure what I expected from this entry, I suppose that the main reason for this game’s existence is to re-introduce this series to players who would like to play more of the same thing they’ve been playing. Instead of at home, though, it’s on the go. Chains is really just rehashing the least epic portions of the first two games. Honestly, how many times am I going to have to level up the same damn blades? It’s like this character has memory loss and I gotta retrain him every few months. I get that this is a prequel but there are many ways to still have made it more unique. This game is just like the first game minus the God battles. And the final boss? We meet the character RIGHT before we have to fight her, it’s the biggest left-field random “surprise” and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes— the final ending just feels tacked on last-minute. There’s not too much else to say, it doesn’t feel fresh but if you like God of War then this will most likely please you. Or, you’re like me who likes the first two games but this one felt like getting a hair in my salad.

4. God of War: Ghost of Sparta (2010)

Played on: PlayStation Now

Time to Beat: 4h 08m

MetaScore: 86 Critic / 85 User

My Rating: 9/10

Without a doubt, this is my favorite of the four God of War games I’ve played so far. To me, this is a near perfect edition of the God of War style and mechanics, and adding a great story on top of it. Full of epic moments, thrills, chills, action, drama, and deep character relationships, Ghost of Sparta amazed me around every turn…and this was a PSP to PS3 port? That’s even more amazing. The visuals and gameplay were better than the PS2 games for sure and I can’t wait to see what III and Ascension offer after this amazing entry. Really, my only problems have been problems with the other games as well: the chests, the inability to load single chapters, and the confusing bonuses. The chests are absolutely ridiculous even still, especially when you’re fighting and need to open one right next to you but it flashes different colors so you have to wait for the right one, and hope that you don’t get hit in the meantime. It’s not a skill-based mechanic, it’s a cheap tactic that absolutely needs to disappear. The inability to load earlier chapters bugs me as well because to go back to get just one Gorgon Eye that you missed means replaying the ENTIRE campaign over again which, again, is cheap. It definitely ruins any replayability and so far, this would be the one God of War game I’d go back to play for shits and giggles. Lastly, the confusing bonuses… there are some things I grabbed throughout the campaign that told me I’d have to beat the game to use. Upon completion of the game, nothing in the menus at all gave any hint on how to use these items. I started up a new game and was able to choose my outfit but I still couldn’t figure out how to use these relics, so I just turned it off and decided to write this review before moving onto the next game.

5. God of War III Remastered (2010)

Played on: PlayStation Now

Time to Beat: 9h 26m

MetaScore: 92 Critic / 88 User

My Rating: 9/10

There are so many aspects of this game that have been greatly improved upon in comparison to the games that came before it. For one, it’s graphically gorgeous. I played the Remastered version so that may have helped a little bit but either way, the epicness of the game was achieved due almost exclusively to the graphics that helped sell it. This was also the first game that I played on Normal difficulty since the first game. The clunky controls of the earlier entries infuriated me and I played on Easy simply to finish the game as fast as possible (the only real reason I’m playing any of these is because I want to go into God of War IV knowing as much of the backstory as possible), and playing this on normal kicked my ass a few times. Because of this, I had to be much more careful with my attacks, timing, and maneuvers which inherently makes you more invested in the game and character. So, this might not be an objective statement due to the difficulty change but I did feel like this game was more of a challenge which made it slightly more fun, and definitely more rewarding. On the other hand, this game was a lot more gruesome… like, a lot. Almost disgustingly so, at times, as blood would literally cover the screen. Of course, this doesn’t necessarily bother me but as this was the first HD-feeling game, the first graphical change that I noticed was the gallons of blood erupting from every enemy. It was slightly offputting but honestly, did a lot to help sell the legendary fantastical nature of a game revolving around the God of War. Probably my favorite aspect of the game was when you could pick up and use artifacts from the gods and demi-gods that you killed. Whenever you take down one of these mythological characters, you assume some of their powers which was a design that made every few chapters feel extremely fresh (something that was desperately needed after binge-playing all of these games in less than 2 weeks). The final boss fight was another element of the game that changed-up the God of War- fighting paradigm by making it extremely reminiscent of Mortal Kombat (see above image). The hack-and-slash followed by rapid button-mash nature of the boss fights have grown a little slate so having a boss fight in this new style was more than welcome. Overall, I don’t think this game has quite the intimate character-driven story of Ghost of Sparta but it makes up for it in its epic finality which offered a lot of fun, fresh, and exciting gameplay elements.

6. God of War: Ascension (2013)

Played on: PlayStation Now

Time to Beat: 8h 22m

MetaScore: 80 Critic / 76 User

My Rating: 8/10

Ascension is (yet another) game that takes place before a previous game and because of that, the stakes don’t feel as high since we’ve seen the world of the future. However, Ascension manages to take that basic prequelitis disease and make it exciting. Of course, he is not a god (yet) so he doesn’t have the ability to use all of the magic and powers that he has in the other games, but we were still able to experiment with godlike abilities through artifacts and assistance. Since this takes place before he decides to hunt down and kill Ares, he’s still on the good side of every God, using their abilities at times to aid him in battle. However, the most beneficial tools that we were able to use were just basic items, giving us a taste at how good of a warrior Kratos is, when he can’t rely on the powers of the gods. Aside from that, the story was okay; it definitely didn’t do anything to impress me until the very end as it seems to be more of the same yet again (instead of battling the Sisters of Fate, it’s now the sisters of Fury. Another four letter “f” word…darn) and honestly, I didn’t know WHY I was doing a lot of the things that I was doing. Go here, fight them, swing there, fix this, do that, yadda yadda yadda but the upgraded mechanics and gorgeous visuals made the dead-horse ride much less of a chore. Like the other games, this one also called upon you to use the directional pad in order to change weapons but Ascension did things slightly differently by having each directional button give you a different elemental power to use (Zeus’ lightning, Hades’ souls, Poseidon’s ice, and Ares’ fire) in order to make the mechanics familiar but offer something new. There were a few things that infuriated me about the updated combat mechanics, though, and one of them was the Rage Meter. I liked the general idea of it but in practice, it was rarely used and felt nearly useless. Another thing that I despised was how the Quick Time Events worked. When you attack an enemy until they’re ready for a Finishing Move, grappling them will execute one of four things: a button-mash, a QTE, a fighting mini-game, or a death animation. I like all of these in theory, but since you never knew which one you were going to get, sometimes you’d prepare for the wrong one and then die because you didn’t get a warning. For QTEs specifically, the button demand was excruciatingly random. I love little details like QTE demands being mapped to button commands that make sense, such as X for jump. In Ascension, that’s not the case. There’s no skill involved in the QTEs and it took the fun out of playing those sections…especially because it’s the very last thing you do. One of the reasons that Halo 4 was so painfully underwhelming is because the game ended with a QTE boss fight, for the first time in the series. Ascension is full of those (like the other God of War games) but the reason I hate them so much is that the buttons they ask you to press often don’t make sense. That being said, the fighting minigames were stellar and I really hope to see more things like that instead of QTEs in the 2018 game. Other than that, there were a lot of aspects of this game that I loved a lot more than the other games. First, the voice acting. I’ve never been a huge fan of the quality of voice acting of Kratos but it was perfected in this game and I can really tell that the actor’s skills have improved greatly. Second, the puzzles. There were a lot more puzzles in this game that really made you think about what you were doing and what needs doing (and in what order) which felt a little (way) too much like Uncharted but given that this is the sixth game in the series, a little fresh air was more than welcome. On some levels, I’d finish a puzzle and walk past a chest before opening a door (planning to go back to the chest) but instead, the door would close behind me and the chest was lost. That’s an over exaggerated example but there were at least half a dozen times in which events close to that happened, frustrating me to all hell. Twice, I even purposefully killed myself in order to load the last checkpoint but it would instead take me past where I wanted to be. Either way, it didn’t harm the game too much (aside from the fact that I was 2000 red orbs away from a trophy for unlocking all of Kratos’ upgrades) and I still had a lot of fun. I’d say it’s in my top 3 GoW campaigns so far and although it was quite different, it was a lot of fun as well.

7. God of War (2018)

Played on: PlayStation 4

Time to Beat: 31h 53m

MetaScore: 94 Critic / 92 User

My Score: 10/10

God of War IV is nothing short of absolute perfection, and an immense improvement on the previous games in the series. This Norse God of War game breathes new life into the franchise, taking not only an entire mythological history and swapping it for another but also switching up the gameplay, style, aesthetic, and changing the very nature of the old hack-and-slash platformers that these games are known for being. Of course, pieces of the game are still reminiscent of the old style but for all intents and purposes, this is a new type of GoW game altogether… and it’s beautiful. My biggest gripes with the other games are now not in the series at all anymore: the helpful health, magic, and rage chests alternating between what they offer: gone. The tedious button-mashing to defeat bosses, open doors, and any other interactable objects: gone. In exchange, God of War IV dilutes those elements or replaces them completely. Sure, there are small stones that may change color depending on what they offer but by no means are they the only source of that object and really, are almost entirely missable. Button-mashing is only in the game less than a dozen times and it’s also mostly avoidable, or completely necessary to put you in Kratos’ shoes (as far as effort goes). While not open world, the map is large and explorable, spanning out from the center like a spider’s web. In this way, it would be most accurate to draw comparisons to Rise of the Tomb Raider or Bioshock where there are not “levels” to progress through the story, but chapters that take place in different areas that can be accessed at any time. In aesthetic, though, comparisons between this game and Skyrim, Middle-Earth, The Witcher or Dragon Age can be drawn as they revolve around a slightly more medieval-fantasy genre. Really, calling this game “Rise of the Tomb Raider meets Skyrim” would be a great way to look at this game as a whole. The other GoW games took you from point A to B to C, and so on. This game, on the other hand, lays out A-Z all at the same time and you get to decide which letter you approach first. From there, A2, A3, A4, and other sections of each letter can be unlocked, if that analogy makes sense. It’s not quite a “play your way” sort of story but the kind of variations and customizations that are offered astounded me, and I still can’t stop playing. The map is very large but I do have a few problems with it. For one, some sections of it are quite maze-like. Since it’s a spider-web shape, you have to follow trails to get between certain sections which means if you want to travel to a different area, you’d have to trek through the trails and are unable to find shortcuts. For example, I wanted to beat the Valkyrie in The Mountains but the Yggdrasil door closest to it took me to a spot 1400m away: above where I wanted to be. The map has no apparent depth when looking at it from above and not being able to rotate it or change perspective became troublesome at times. That is probably the biggest thing I would change as it slowed down my gameplay quite a bit. That being said, my problems with the map stop after Midgard and since there are 5 other realms to explore (all smaller) the problems are mostly limited to that realm. Niflheim, Muspeilheim, Helheim, and Alfheim are all explorable and each offers their own unique perks, challenges, and areas to devote your time to. The best part: you could play the game without even venturing once into two of those places which end up serving as a complete bonus for players who wanted to experience more of the worlds Santa Monica built for us. Speaking of the developers: this game has, by far, the best story of any game I’ve played in a very long time. The action and emotion are both astronomically impacting and both aspects make the experience as a whole entirely unmatched. The voice acting as well has been vastly improved; Kratos is no longer a sort of eye-rolling dialoguist but now is a rusted poet full of heart and buried emotion. It truly was a heartbreaking, heartwarming, and mesmerizing experience following Kratos and Atreus on this journey. The characters were also one of the strongest points by far. Kratos and Atreus, Brok and Sindri, Mimir, Freya, Baldur, and everybody else were just so well written and portrayed; there wasn’t a single flat character in the game. The heroes, as well as villains, were extremely deep and emotional, all containing arcs and stories that are impossible not to be invested in. Brok and Sindri are the best comic relief I’ve ever encountered in a video game, Baldur is one of the most brilliantly conflicted villains, Kratos is helplessly badass and magnetic, and Atreus should have his own game series as well. Honestly, there’s nothing not to like about this masterpiece. I could go on for hours but I think I’ve sold this game enough and just hope that just one single person out there who hasn’t played this game is reading this review is now convinced to give it a try, I’ve succeeded. Borrow it from a friend, rent it, buy it, however you can. Scrape pennies out of the couch and call in your favors: God of War IV is the must-play game of the year.

Series Retrospective & Overall Thoughts

As of writing this sentence, I’ve put 88 hours and 12 minutes into the God of War franchise, with nearly 46 of those being from the most recent entry…which is more than half of my total time playing them. What started as a simple assignment (beat the campaigns, write the reviews) became an emotional investment. I’ve grown to love this series even though many of the titles were quite repetitive as they started asking you to do the same things over and over again. The first six games had their ups and downs, wavering in quality of story and visuals whilst requiring ungodly amounts of button mashing but then came 2018’s God of War which blew everything out of the water. How this game reinvented the franchise astounds me for a few reasons, one of which I have been saving for this section of the post: I played six God of War games in two weeks and the final game was the most satisfying. Yes, they started to feel stale to me after the second game but the new God of War is something so fresh and so new that it felt like something completely different (in the best ways).

As mentioned in the individual reviews, the games started to get stale (especially Chains of Olympus which offered neither a fresh story or gameplay experience). Ghost of Sparta gave us an amazing tale, III offered the most epic visuals, and Ascension gave us the best gameplay. III stood out to me for it’s Mortal Kombat boss fight, Ascension for it’s Uncharted-style, and God of War IV felt like Tomb Raider meets Skyrim. The strength of this franchise has become its variation. As we’ve seen with the LEGO games, the Guitar Hero games, and most recently, the Call of Duty games, audiences will turn on a franchise if it stops reinventing itself. God of War has managed to avoid that because it’s not afraid to change up its pace. I can’t thank creative director Cory Barlog enough for his decision to do just that.

The longest franchise I’ve played in the past is Halo (Combat Evolved, Halo 2, Halo 3, ODST, Reach, and 4) but I never played them consecutively as I did these games. So, it makes sense how this series when played religiously back-to-back may get old but to then have the last game be the most time consuming yet inventive and beautiful was such a treat. If I ever go back and play the God of War games again, I’ll likely simply stick with this new one. If anything, maybe play Ghost of Sparta since it was one of my favorites, or III and Ascension since they were visually appealing, but I’d be robbing myself by playing a God of War game and not have it be this most recent one.

Games Ranked

Ranking titles is one of the most challenging tasks for myself as I constantly remember aspects of one while forgetting aspects of another and then juggling which parts mean more to me but as far as overall experience goes, I think this order satisfies my tastes fairly well.

God of War (2018)

God of War III

Ghost of Sparta

Ascension

God of War II

God of War

Chains of Olympus

All of these games were really enjoyable (aside from Chains which I thought was a pretty boring experience) and even though ranking them may seem like the games down the list are of low quality but don’t let that fool you: all are worth playing.

What Order to Play In

If you’re like I was, and are interested in getting into the God of War games, I’ve thought of the best way to play them in. Since they were released out of chronology but certain stories reference others, playing in either release order or chronological order can be problematic. So, here is the order that I recommend:

God of War

Chains of Olympus (if you want)

Ghost of Sparta

God of War II

God of War III

Ascension

God of War (2018)

The reasoning for this is that Ascension takes place first but references III and has better graphics than all of the other games, and while the PSP games were released between II and III instead of I and II, playing them out of order allows you to play II and III back-to-back which is what I wish I would have done as they lead into the next game seamlessly.

Future Hopes

Without a doubt, I want Santa Monica to continue what they’ve done with this newest title. The tone, story, scale, open-world flavor, side quests, characters, and general aesthetic of this Norse-themed reinvention needs to continue. I’d love to go to the other realms that weren’t explored in GoW4, I’d love to see what happens with a few characters whose future roles were teased, and I absolutely need to see the rest of Kratos’ days as the Greek God of War.

The text in the following paragraph is full of spoilers, I recommend skipping past that paragraph if you don’t want to or already know these things.

I want to see Freya take up her previous role as the Valkyrie Queen for Odin, and set out on a path of vengeance against Kratos and Atreus. Maybe Loki has a brief or extended stint on Asgard’s side and Kratos has to battle Freya and the Asgardians alone during Ragnarok. There are so many options for what could happen in a sequel, and one of the largest plots I can think of is Kratos vs. Thor since Atreus’ reveal as Loki has a history of interacting with Thor and Odin. Although, more father-son drama may start to feel repetitive.

Cory Balrog and the rest of the Santa Monica team said that since this game took 5 years to build from the ground up, the next games wouldn’t take nearly as long and they have quite a few more stories up their sleeves. Time couldn’t move fast enough in order for me to play these games as soon as I’d like to.

Anyways, I think that’ll do it for my God of War Series Review! I hope you enjoyed yourself and as always, thanks for reading and I’ll see you soon!

God of War: Series Review Since I've gotten many people telling me to play the new God of War game, I have finally succumbed to the peer pressure.

#ascension #athena #chains of olympus #cory barlog #ghost of sparta #god of war #greek #kratos #loki #mythology #norse #playstation #ps4 #santa monica #thor #video game #zeus

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