#honestly feels safer here than any other websites

[kylrim]

WAHSSKSKSSKSS I LOVE UR SRT SOOO MUCH!!!!!!!! I don't wanna make you uncomfy but do you have some preferred mother ships? and again, you can just say you don't have any if you don't wanna answer, also, welcome to Tumblr!!!!

WAAAH OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LIKING MY ART??!!😭😭❤️💖UHH UHH Alright.... I'll awnser your question with a looong answer, once I open up its so joever, so here we go... HI AMBERR LOLL DONT KICK ME OUT,, OKAY, before answering; I know I only post EB for now but hold up, I really wanna emphase on that; I am also a Smash Bros artist, in my Earthbound break, thats where all my brainrot went, I'll probably end up posting from both franchises so yeah expect that!! Now...

Which means.. yes I do love ships from both EB and SSB, so I'll answer your question with a bonus! Alright, for the Mother serie; it's obvious, basic to some, but they take a special place in my heart, I might wanna explore other ships(?) but for now it's only been those two! (maybe Jefftony a little less but they cool!!!)

Now.. before I accepted I liked Nesscas, because I repressed it a lot (I started to give in maybe a year ago??) In the SSB fandom, I drew those two down there a looot, if you recognise them good, if not, you'll know them very well soon :]c (if I beat my demons obviously, sharing my art is HORROR kjhgf) If by miracle your recognize me from my insta helloo I'm still not cured..

All that to say, I will explore the Mother serie characters dynamics a lot, alongside what I already did on my insta with the four™ on SSB (friendship or not) so yeah, this might be my introduction post atp, hello this is me, I am insane, but VERY passionate ❤️(maybe too much..)

[bellaireland1981]

Special Delivery for the Birthday Boy

Summary: You enlist Phoenix’s help to surprise your husband on his birthday. You’d been living on opposite coasts since he’d been called back to Top Gun and you were ready to reunite with him just in time to celebrate his birthday. An added bonus is you also get to surprise the rest of the Daggers who have no clue that Bradley is married. 

Word Count: 3.9K

Pairings: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Female! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, mentions of birthday sex but no actual smut, mentions of pregnancy.

A/N: I do not own TGM characters, I DO NOT give permission to anyone to repost, copy or translate my work to any other platform or website. Don’t steal my work... it’s not cool. AS always thank you to @waywardodysseys and @beyondthesefourwalls for letting me bounce ideas off them and encouraging me!! Reblogs and comments always appreciated! 

Masterlist

Side note: Meant to get this posted yesterday but wanted to redo a few things on it...still not 100% sure I love how it turned out but...here you go! 

YOU: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! I LOVE YOU! I’ll be in interviews all day but I’ll FaceTime you tonight. Fly Safe! 💋

HUBBY: Thank you, Dove. I miss you so much 🙁 Wish you were here. Love you 💗

“Are you sure he doesn’t know I’m coming?” You asked, putting your suitcase into the back and climbing into the passenger seat. “Thanks again for coming to get me!”

“Y/N, I promise, he’s absolutely clueless.” Phoenix assured you, smiling. “He’s been moping around all day because he can’t get a hold of you. And you’re welcome! I can’t wait to see his face!”

“I can’t wait to see his face either… I miss that face.” You said, leaning back in the seat. “I’ll be so happy when we’re living on the same damn coast again.”

“When will that be?” She asked, merging into the traffic leaving the San Diego International Airport. “Rooster mentioned you had some loose ends to tie up out East.”

“That’s part of his birthday present.” You said beaming, “I actually just accepted a teaching position for the fall. I had an interview over Zoom yesterday. Bradley thinks I’m in interviews all day today.”

“Y/N that’s awesome!” Phoenix exclaimed, “He’ll be so damn excited.”

“I’m excited.” You laughed, “I’ve had enough of being across the country from my husband. Especially after the last mission. How are things really going with him and Maverick?”

“Honestly?” She said, “Much better than when we got back to Top Gun. They’ve talked and are actively trying. It’s been really good for Rooster.”

“Good.” You replied, “I’ve been trying to get him to reach out for a few years. He just wasn’t ready. I’m glad he got this chance. It’ll be interesting to meet the man.”

“He’s a good guy.” She said, “Bob and I are the only ones that know about you, by the way.”

“I figured.” You laughed. “I’m kind of looking forward to that bombshell being dropped too. From everything I’ve heard about everyone, the reactions should be priceless. I’m especially looking forward to Hangman’s reaction.”

“Oh, this will be absolutely priceless.” Phoenix laughed, “For as much shit as he gives Rooster for never hitting on women at the Hard Deck and not having any game… he’s going to have to eat his words. He’ll most likely hit on you though if he meets you before knowing you’re married to Rooster.”

“Are things better between them though?” You asked, “I know Hangman wasn’t Bradley’s favorite person… and they’ve butted heads in the past. When it counted though, that man came through for my husband and it’s a debt I’ll never be able to repay.”

“They’ve formed a tentative friendship.” She said, “It’s new… but there is a strong mutual respect between them. They’ve flown better together in training since the mission…have become a pretty damn good team actually.”

“It makes me feel better knowing he’s got the best pilots in the Navy flying with him.” You said, “I always felt safer when I knew he was deployed with you.”

“Just because you know I’ll keep his ass out of trouble.” She laughed. “I get it though. You have to trust your wingman. This last mission showed us that we can really all trust one another to come through for each other.”

She pulled into the driveway of her apartment complex parking her car and the two of you got out. You grabbed your suitcase from the back and followed her up to her apartment.

“Ok I just need like a half hour to shower and get ready!” You said, “Then I’ll be ready to go!”

“Take your time.” She laughed, “I’ll grab a towel for you. While you shower, I’ll text the group. Jake is actually in charge of getting Bradley to the Hard Deck for birthday drinks.”

You opened your suitcase, pulling out a sundress you’d left on top for easy access. It was one of Bradley’s favorites on you so you made sure to pack it. You grabbed the strapless bra and matching lace panties you’d bought to wear with the dress and headed to the shower. You tied your hair up so it wouldn’t get wet and quickly jumped into the shower.

True to your word, thirty minutes later you were dressed and ready to go. You’d left your hair down, opted for light makeup and only wore a necklace Bradley had given you for your anniversary (a Dove pendant on a dainty silver chain). You slipped your feet into wedge sandals and grabbed your purse and the small gift bag with Bradley’s other birthday present in it and headed out to the living room where Phoenix was waiting.

“Ready!” You said, excited to finally be headed out to see your husband.

“Jake said he’s having a hard time getting Rooster to go to the bar. He asked him after work and he said he was just going to go home.” Phoenix said. “I can drop you off at the Hard Deck then go to the house and drag his ass out. He’ll listen to me.”

“Hold on.” You said, “He’s probably waiting for me to FaceTime him and doesn't want to miss that call… SHIT! He’ll recognize your apartment…. Ok…. no problem.. I’ve got this.”

You brought your husband’s name up on your phone, hitting the call button.

“Baby you said FaceTime.” Bradley complained, answering the phone on the second ring. “Where’s your beautiful face?”

“I know, Sweetie,” You replied, sighing, “I promise I’ll FaceTime you later tonight. I messed up the time difference and I got a call from another school to interview with. I just really want to find a job out there so I can get to you. How about you go get a birthday drink with Nix and then by the time you get home I’ll be free and we can FaceTime.”

“It’s OK, Dove.” He said, “Good luck in the interview, Baby. They’ll all want you and you’ll have your pick of jobs. I just miss you so damn much. I want to be able to come home to you at night. I love you.”

“I love you too, Bradley.” You said, your heart breaking at how sad he sounded, even knowing you were about to make him so happy. “I’ll be home there with you before you even know it and you’ll be coming home to me every single night. Promise you’ll go get a drink with your friends? Celebrate your birthday?”

“I promise.” He said, “I’ll talk to you later, Baby. Good Luck.”

“Thank you, Sweetie.” You replied, “I love you so so much.”

“Love you too.” He replied.

After hanging up you had Phoenix text the group chat again to let everyone know that drinks were happening at the Hard Deck in thirty minutes for Bradshaw’s birthday. Then she texted Bradley and let him know she wasn’t taking ‘No’ for an answer.

PHOENIX: Bradshaw, your ass better be at the Hard Deck in 30 minutes or I’ll be at your house to drag your ass out myself. 😡

ROOSTER: My  wife already texted you? Lol 😂  I’m changing out of my flight suit now. Be there in 30.

“Alright, he’s changing now!” Phoenix said, smiling, “Let’s get you to your husband!”

You pulled your suitcase back down to her car, throwing it into the back again to be transferred to your husband’s Bronco once you were at the Hard Deck. Knowing you were going to be seeing him in 30 minutes caused excitement to flood your system. You’d been married for three years, together for five and gone through much longer deployments and separations that the one you’d just been through, but never before had he flown such a dangerous mission where it had been pretty much assumed someone wasn’t coming home.

“Not long now!” Phoenix said, smiling over at you, knowing where your head was going. “An added bonus to this new assignment is the deployments won’t be as often or as long. We will actually be getting to do more instructing of the new classes of Top Gun students in between missions. You won’t have to worry about long separations anymore.”

“I’ve done ok as long as I didn’t let myself think about it too much.” You said, “The minute I let myself think about how close he came to not coming home… I lose it.”

“You’ll feel much better once you see him and have him back in your arms.” She promised, “I know he’ll feel better once he’s got you in his arms too.”

“You’re right.” You said. “Just need him in my arms.”

She pulled into the parking lot of the bar a short time later and you made your way inside.  

“Looks like everyone except Rooster is here.” Phoenix said, spotting everyone in their regular corner of the bar when they walked in. “Let’s go grab drinks from the bar and kill time until he gets here. I want him to be the one to introduce you.”

You followed her to the bar, sitting in one of the free seats.

“Hey, Phoenix.” Penny said, coming over, “What can I get for you two?”

“Hey, Penny.” She replied, “I’ll take a beer, Y/N?”

“Just a Ginger Ale or Sprite if you have it?” You asked, smiling. “I’m going to be DD tonight for my husband.”

“One of these aviators belong to you?” Penny asked, grabbing the beer for Phoenix and filling a glass with ice and pouring the amber soda for you.

“He’s not here yet.” You replied, smiling. “But yeah, I have to take claim for an aviator.”

“Penny, do you know if Mav is coming tonight?” Phoenix asked, winking at you. “Figured he might pop in for Rooster’s birthday.”

“I think he said he’s stopping in.” She replied, “I’m so glad those two are finally talking!”

“You and me both!” Phoenix replied, taking a drink of her beer.

“Phoenix, why are you sitting over here keeping your beautiful friend here from joining us?” A smooth voice sounded behind you both. You turned and smirked, knowing exactly who was standing behind you.

“Bagman, you’re not allowed to harass my friend.” Phoenix said, rolling her eyes. “She is definitely not your type.”

“I’m Hangman.” He said, flashing a megawatt smile, complete with dimples. You were sure that smile landed him plenty of ladies. You had to bite back a laugh when you glanced over at  Phoenix who was rolling her eyes. “Or Jake, whichever you prefer.”

“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Hangman.” You replied, glancing behind him as the door opened and a very familiar mustached aviator walked in wearing one of his million Hawaiian shirts. Thankfully he hadn’t seen you yet so you still had the element of surprise.  “Phoenix is right though, you’re not my type. I only give my heart to 6 '1”, brown eyed,curly haired, aviators with mustaches and a penchant for Hawaiian shirts.”

“Oddly specific…” He said, confused, but turning to see where your eyes had landed. You hopped off the seat and moved past him, straight into Bradley’s line of sight.

“Lieutenant Bradshaw!” You called, catching his attention. His head shot up, his eyes locking in on you immediately, a shocked smile stretching across his face.  “Surprise, Baby! Happy Birthday!”

“Dove!” He exclaimed, finally snapping out of his shock. He closed the distance between you two quickly, meeting him in the middle, and scooped you up into his arms. Your legs wrapped around him so he was holding you koala style, your lips locking against his own in a passionate kiss, neither of you caring that you were standing in the middle of a crowded bar. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so damn much, Y/N. I can’t believe you’re really here!”

“Forgive me for not FaceTiming now?” You asked, laughing “I was at Phoenix’s apartment when I called.”

“You’re a little minx.” He laughed. “I forgive you baby.”

“Bradshaw!” Jake said, “Care you’ve got some explaining to do.”

“Give me a minute, Hangman.” Bradley replied, setting you down, but not letting you go. “I haven’t seen my wife in a couple of months. Let me say ‘hello’.”

“WIFE?” Jake exclaimed, “Phoenix, you know about this?”

“Yup.” She smirked, leading Jake away from you and Bradley. “Give them a minute. They’ll join us shortly.”

You were still wrapped in Bradley’s arms and you finally felt like you were home.

“I can’t believe you’re really here, Dove.” He said, resting his forehead against your own. “You look so beautiful, Baby.”

“I’m really here, my love.” You promised, kissing him softly. “It’s so good to see your face and kiss you and to be in your arms. I love you so much. From now on, I will go where you go whenever humanly possible.”

“I love you too, Beautiful.” He replied, “I’m hoping this will be our permanent home base. How close are we to being a one coast family?”

“Actually, how likely is it that you can get leave to help me pack up our Virginia house?” You asked.

“Pretty likely.” He smiled, “Do you have a timeline?”

“Whenever you’re ready.” You said, “I accepted a job out here for the fall, officially resigned at the district in Virginia Beach and cleared out my classroom two days ago.”

“FUCK YES!” He exclaimed, picking you up and swinging you around, “I’ll put in for leave tomorrow. As soon as it’s granted we’ll book a flight back and pack it all up and list the house.”

“Bradshaws!” Jake yelled, “Join the party!”

“We’re being paged.” You laughed, “Come on, Baby. Introduce me to your friends.”

You and Bradley walked over to the corner where everyone had congregated and introductions were made.

“Everyone, this is my wife Y/N.” Bradley said, happy to finally get to introduce you to everyone, “Baby, this is the squad. You’ve met Hangman. That’s Payback, Fanboy, Coyote, and you already know Bob.”

“Hey Y/N” Bob said, coming over to hug you, “It’s good to see you again!”

“Hi, Bob!” You replied smiling, hugging him back, “It’s so good to see you too!” Then looking at the rest of the group you smiled and  said, “It’s so nice to finally meet you all. Bradley’s told me all about you guys.”

“Wait a damn minute!” Jake said, turning to glare and Bradley, “Phoenix and Bob BOTH knew you had a wife? What the HELL, Rooster? I saved your life and I don’t get to be in the cool kids club knowing you have a WIFE? I thought we were friends, man.”

“Jake…”Bradley said, unsure what to say, “Come on man, it’s not like that…we are friends…”

You look over at Jake who’s doing all that he can to not smile, enjoying the fact that Bradley has no idea what to say.

“Baby, he’s playing you.” You told your husband, winking at Jake. “Jake, stop bullying my husband. It’s his birthday. Play nicely and you come over for home cooked meals.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He replied, smiling, “Sorry, Rooster. Couldn’t resist. Congrats on the beautiful wife. She’s a firecracker. Definitely keep her.”

“I plan on it, Hangman.” Bradley said, shaking his head at the blonde aviator.

The night continues with the group playing pool, swapping stories, drinking and you filling them in on how you and Bradley met and ended up married. Eventually, Phoenix made her way to the Jukebox and pulled the plug, silencing the music, causing your husband to chuckle. There was a mixed reaction from the bar to the music being cut. Some booed, upset that whatever had been playing was cut off mid song, the rest cheered, clearly knowing something was about to happen.

“That’s my cue, Baby.” Bradley said, tapping your leg to signal he needed up. You stood up to let him get off the chair, but before you could sit back down, he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him to an upright piano.

“They clearly know your party trick.” You teased, “Come on birthday boy, serenade your fans.” Bradley sat down on the bench, pulling you down next to him. His fingers moved over the keys, playing a random melody before launching into the familiar intro chords to Great Balls of Fire. You knew he could play a million other songs, but this one in particular held the most meaning to him as it was the one his dad had played and sang when he was little before he died.

You could tell Bradley had done this before here because everyone crowded around and were singing along with him while he played. You joined in, belting out the song alongside your husband. KISS ME BABY.. (you leaned in to kiss him quickly)    OOOOO THAT FEELS GOOD,   HOLD ME BABY….. WELL,  I’LL STILL HOLD YOU LIKE A LOVER SHOULD….. YOU’RE FINE…. SO KIND… I GOT TO TELL THIS WORLD THAT YOU’RE MINE MINE MINE MINE!  

When the song finished the bar erupted into loud cheers and chants yelling “ROOSTER”. You loved seeing your husband in his element like this. You quickly took advantage of being in front of the piano and scooted your husbands fingers off the keys, replacing them with your own and started to play Happy Birthday. You were happy when everyone around you immediately joined in and soon the entire bar was signing to your husband.

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy BIRTHDAY dear ROOSTER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

“Make a wish, Baby”! You said, turning towards him.

“All my wishes have come true.” He replied, leaning in to kiss you.

“Hey Rooster,” Phoenix said, gently, not wanting to interrupt the moment.  “Mav’s at the bar.”

“Ready to meet my Godfather?” He asked you.

“Definitely ready.” You replied. “Then I’ve got the rest of your birthday present.”

“Baby!” He exclaimed, “You’re here, you’re MOVING here, YOU are my present.”

“Ok, well, there’s more.” You shrugged laughing. “Introduce me to Mav.”

Bradley took your hand and led you to the bar where Mav was sitting sipping a beer. He looked up as you both approached and smiled, standing up.

“Happy Birthday, Kid.” Mav said, hugging Bradley tightly.

“Thanks, Mav.” He replied, hugging him back. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

You stepped closer, smiling softly. You were nervous to meet the man that meant so much to Bradley and who had been like a father to him growing up before everything had exploded. You wanted to help your husband to build that relationship back up, knowing how important it was to have family. Your own parents adored Bradley and had immediately welcomed him into the family when you’d brought him home the first time.

“This is my wife, Y/N.” He said, his arm around your waist, “Baby, this Mav. He helped my mom raise me after my dad died.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” Mav said, his voice thick with emotion.

“It’s great to finally meet you too.” You replied, smiling, stepping forward to pull him into a hug. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“For the record, Y/N’s been trying to get me to reach out for a couple of years now.” Bradley admitted. “I’m just bullheaded.”

“At least he admits it.” You laughed. “We’d love to have you over for dinner though, Mav. I’d really love to get to know you.”

“I would love that, Y/N.” He replied, “I’d love to get to know the one making my Godson so happy.”

“He’s easy to love.” You said, looking over your shoulder at your husband. “He makes me pretty damn happy too.”

“I think I’m going to steal my wife now and take her home.” Bradley said, “She just flew in today and is still on East Coast time.”

“Sounds good.” Mav said, “Enjoy the rest of your birthday, Kid. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” He replied, smiling, “See you tomorrow.”

After saying goodbye to the rest of the squad, you were finally able to escape out to the Bronco. Phoenix had already transferred your suitcase while you were inside.

“Do you need me to drive?” You asked, you hadn’t kept track of your husband’s drinks tonight.

“Nope. I’m good.” He said, smiling, opening the passenger door for you,“Only had 2 beers earlier, nothing since. Hop in, Dove.”

You leaned back in the seat, enjoying the air coming in from the open windows as Bradley drove you both home. He had found an apartment not far from base that did short term leases when he’d come back to San Diego for the mission. Now that you knew it would be permanent the two of you could start to look for a house together. You made a mental note to start looking at listings tomorrow while he was at work.

The apartment wasn’t too far from The Hard Deck either, so before long, Bradley was pulling the Bronco into the parking space and shutting it off. He came around to open your door for you before pulling your suitcase from the back of the Bronco.

“Ready to see our temporary home in person?” He asked

“More than ready.” You said, “Especially the bed… I really wanna see the bed.”

“I can’t wait to get you into bed either, Baby.” He smirked, “Birthday sex is the best.”

“Lead the way, Stud.” You winked, “I still have another birthday surprise for you.”

“Is it under your dress?” He asked, taking your hand and leading you to the front door, unlocking it and ushering you inside.

“It is…” You replied, “But I need something from my suitcase first.” You unzipped the suitcase and pulled out the small gift bag inside before handing it to Bradley. “Happy Birthday, Baby.”

He smiled, reaching to take the bag, leaning down to kiss you as he did, “Thank you, Dove.”

He opened the bag, taking out the tissue paper, and pulling out two onesies. Holding them up, you could see the moment it registered in his head what he was looking at. His eyes filled with tears as he read each one.

“Future Aviator, just like my Daddy,” He read, before holding up the other one to read, “Daddy’s Wingman”

He looked up at you, “Baby, you’re….we’re…really?” He was too choked up to get the words out. You smiled, tears of your own spilling over and running down your cheeks.

“Yes” You whispered, unable to get your own voice to work. He carefully set the onesies in the bag and pulled you into his arms, your own going around his neck. His lips connected with yours in a deep kiss, desperate to convey all of his love and feelings to you in that moment.

“We’re having a baby.” He whispered, when you’d both pulled back to breathe. “How far along?”

“I just hit 11 weeks.” You said, then reached for your purse to pull out the sonogram photo you had safely tucked inside, “And actually… let’s go sit on the couch and I’ll show you the sonogram…”

He took your hand leading you to the couch, sitting down with you tucked into his side. You handed him the envelope with the copies of the sonogram from the doctor. He carefully opened it up, pulling them out to look.

“Dove…” He said, shock once again covering his face  “Are you serious right now?”

“Surprise!” You chuckled, “Turns out you're top 1% in more than just flying, Baby.”

“We’re having twins.” He smiled, looking at the sonogram, “I’m gonna be a daddy.”

“You’re gonna be the best daddy.” You confirmed, “Happy Birthday, Bradley.”

“This has been the best birthday ever, Dove.” He replied, leaning over to kiss you. “Thank you for making all of my wishes come true.”

Taglist: 

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[literary-potato]

Hey USAmericans! I don’t normally bring up work-related stuff here because this website is a clown car. But it is a clown car filled with people who disproportionately like privacy and love complaining about stuff that's terrible. So here’s some terrible stuff you can complain about. (Yes the blog post linked is from the company I work for. No, I'm not one of the authors. I would say please don’t dox me but… honestly if you do manage I’d be impressed and want to know how you did it for professional reasons. So like, I guess go for it, but don’t be creepy or violent.) The blog post does a better job summarizing it but here’s the gist:

If you’ve ever lived in the USA as an adult, it is extremely likely that anyone can Google you and find out personal details like where you live for free.

Even if your information is not THAT widely available, then it is still almost certainly true that someone could pay a data broker to obtain that information about you. Not like an insane amount of money, a normal amount of money that could reasonably be in a stalker’s budget.

This is because the USA has basically zero regulation about protecting people’s personal data. Data brokers are gross and take advantage of this.

It is EXTREMELY difficult to opt out of data brokers. It is doable, but it’s A LOT. Trust me, I do this for work, and it’s an enormous pain in the ass. I have worked for major tech companies in Silicon Valley — in other words, I have a lot more technical knowledge than the average consumer. Imagine how people who aren’t super tech savvy feel trying to do this work.

The Consumer Finance Protection Bureau is taking comments RIGHT NOW because they’re thinking about doing something about the current state of affairs. If you have a spare 5 minutes and you are creeped out by the possibility that anybody could find your personal details at any time, please submit a comment! The CFPB wants to hear consumer complaints, so complain!!! The blog includes a link to a template you can personalize, so you don’t even have to think that much about organizing it! This is especially true if you are someone who has real-life, serious reasons why people having access to your address would be dangerous. If you are LGBTQ+, if you are involved in activism, if you are a survivor of abuse, if you’ve been targeted by harassment or stalking or anything like that… PLEASE make a comment and explain specifically why this situation is dangerous for people like you. This is a serious issue that affects people’s mental and physical wellbeing, and the more Consumers (TM) that can write in directly and attest to how harmful it is, the better.

ETA: THE COMMENT PERIOD IS CLOSED. No need to share this further.

[7habitsofhighlyeviceratedpeople]

Hi I have some concerns regarding your server. I don't think it's a good idea to have your Outlast server be all ages... Outlast is a very adult game and isn't appropriate for teens to be discussing with random adults in a discord server, even if the discussions aren't necessarily bad, ie just gushing over a character or whatever; it's because of the nature of the game itself that makes it inappropriate. Red Barrels themselves don't want underage ppl interacting with their content either, their website has you put your date of birth in to even look at anything, and their official server actually is 18+. There's a reason why they do that. If there are minors in the server that get upset over not being allowed in anymore, if you do decide to make it 18+, then they can create their own Outlast server only for people their own age, so that its teens talking to teens with less risk of anything sus happening. I could never tell a 14 yr old to stop liking Outlast because I was a 14 yr old who loved Outlast, but being in the fandom and discussing aspects of the game with adults wasn't appropriate for me then and it still isn't now. I'm saying this from experience. Honestly I don't think any discord server even if totally SFW and clean should have both adults and teens in it because theres too mush risk involved. I think having a server for fans of Outlast is great and I'm sure fans in the server are happy with how it is, but making the server safer for both adults and minors in the server would probably make people happier

Hello! Sorry it took me a bit to get back to you, I just saw this today and needed some time to collect my thoughts because I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach this in a way that aligns with my own personal values for the server and also tries to adhere to what you are asking of me. I take the safety of people, especially minors in my server extremely seriously. I also got into Outlast at a young age and have had my fair share of experiences in the fandom with creeps, usually adults or just plain weird people. My server is 13+ to be the most inclusive, while trying to simultaneously make the space as safe as possible for everyone involved. While I agree that there are absolutely sus people in this fandom (more so than others) and that it can be extremely dangerous for minors to even coexist in the fandom with these people, as i’ve literally spoken about in the past, it’s very easy for bad situations to happen. That being said, I personally find it easier and more safe to curate my space in a way where it’s inclusive to minors while also keeping it as safe as I have control over making it. The rules are specifically designed to make sure that weirdos DONT get in, and we have a very active community with moderators enforcing these rules. We don’t allow anything NSFW to get in the server outside of the specified channels, which BY THE WAY are role locked. You HAVE to be 18+ (unless you feel comfortable lying to me which I can’t really control and i don’t want to completely lock minors out of the server just over the potential of a person lying to me which will result in an immediate ban) We don’t allow any sort of discussion about anything NSFW in any channels, including conversations about sex, drugs, etc. The rules are insanely fine tuned to make things as safe as possible, and as of right now myself and mods feel it is safer to keep the server the way it is, than to kick all the ppl who are younger than 18 out to go find some other worse server or make their own which i personally don’t find to be a super safe option either. Here they are more protected imo than if they went to seek out other servers/made one that was ONLY minors. This is my personal stance on the matter, and I understand that this isn’t what you wanted to hear. For that I apologize but I will always be prioritizing the safety of the people in my server in the best way i feel that I can. I feel like under the rules we have and the safety measures instated they are the most safe in this server than one that’s completely lawless and i feel like one minor lying to me about their age is less dangerous than a creep lying about THEIR age to get into a server full of fucking minors. Doesn’t sit right with me, once again I am sorry. I will consider making the server age requirement older and speaking to the mods and members about putting even more safety things in place but like i said I just feel safer with the way things are. My dms are open for concerns btw 🤞 There is more I could say on this but I feel like this gets my feelings across the best way I can :) to me it’s like banning smthn like abortion. (weird example i know) it doesn’t stop ppl from getting them but it just makes for a safer, more sterile environment! Remember it is a FANDOM server at the end of the day and this is a very different situation than Red Barrels putting an age thing on their websites (which ppl can just lie to with yr logic lol)

[janiedean]

If you'll allow me to reply: "No one as far as I know says it’s okay to use puberty blockers on children". I'm sorry, but this is not true, at least if we agree that people between the age of 10 and 16 are still children: here are several links to gender clinics websites which describe how puberty blockers are used and why they are a viable option. You are thinking of cross-sex hormones, which (in the UK afaik) are available at 16 years old. The information given in those three links is standard, in that it describes puberty blockers's effects as "fully reversible". However, we know now that this is not true, or at least, the research on this field is not sufficient to claim it. The NHS in the UK had to take the "fully reversible" mention out from their own website. Have you read about the case of Keira Bell, who successfully sued the NHS, and described how she was essentially rushed through the process of transitioning, encouraged by the homophobia within her own family that was barely questioned by her therapists? Do you not think it is cause for caution? This woman, who overviewed the treatment of children at GIDS, did, and she won her case in court. This BBC report details a little more what exactly went down that caused alarms to be raised in the first place.

I'll stop there, but i'll just add that the porn twitter at Rowling was well and truly a thing. I'm not a fan of "receipt" compilations in either direction, because i think it's easy for anyone to write anything online, but i personally saw at least one person posting a picture of themself with their dick out (sorry) on one of the threads in question. Obviously i'm aware i'm just one person online and you don't have any reason to trust me. We do have the receipts for all the rape threats / death threats though, and i'm not sure what JKR has *done* that convinces you that she'd be lying on this (as opposed to a neutral "i haven't seen it so might be true, might not be").

I'll allow the reply of course, but I still don't think any of this makes a convincing argument, in the sense that:

I checked two out of three links because one sends me to a website that my antivirus says has phishing going on so I don't think I'll take it as a trusted source. the last one says nothing against the side-effects - it says they're safe overall but we can't know if there are any side effects until the people taking them now get older which is like.. same as any med in existence and other than that it says nothing that would make me think a blocker or whatever it is isn't a safer option for trans teenagers than risking self-harm or suicide, the other link listed some possible side effects which might not be a thing for everyone and like... I mean, again, if I was a trans teenager and felt suicidal because of dysphoria and they told me 'okay you can take them and feel better but this this and that might happen or you can stay as it is' I'd probably chance the blockers anyway, and maybe they're not fully reversible but I'd wager that if you know you're not a cisgender person you'd chance that anyway;

10-16 is teenagers, not children. I mean, I'll say a 15yo is a child if I'm talking about 'don't put teenagers in charge of an army' or 'don't make teenagers take life or death decisions' or 'don't put heavy responsibility on teenagers' because a 15yo shouldn't be in charge of, say, taking their single parent off life support if they have no other family and the parent ends up in an accident, but if we're discussing this stuff children are not teenagers and when saying 'think of the children' people immediately think of actual *children* not teens, and again no one gives puberty blockers nor performs surgeries on people younger than that UNLESS as someone else pointed out in my replies it's cis kids starting puberty at like NINE and they're given blockers because it's too early and honestly as someone who got her period at twelve I could have used waiting two more years myself, I can't imagine someone who gets it at nine, so if even cis kids use them for a couple years when their doctor thinks it's the case... I mean the point is still moot, they're meds like any other and they can have side effects like any other, it depends on whether your doctor sucks or not;

like, momentarily OT but at some point in my life I had a crap doctor who at some point had decided to prescribe me some pills that diabetics usually take because according to him I didn't process sugar in my blood well enough or something and I took them and I lost 5kgs in three weeks because that shit made me nauseous, I kept on feeling sick, I lost my appetite, the problem I had didn't get better and then when I stopped them along with other pills that dude gave me the result was that I didn't get my period for three months and it was miserable, I gained some 10 extra kgs I wasn't able to lose for years and it was 90% because I took that stuff, am I going around saying that people should watch their diabetes medication because it fucked with me? no, because I shouldn't have been taking them and my doctor was shit but it wasn't the fault of the meds, I'm 100% sure they were helpful to others that actually needed them and weren't wrongly prescribed them and maybe for them the side-effects weren't as bad as they were for me, same concept;

which brings us to: how she was essentially rushed through the process of transitioning, encouraged by the homophobia within her own family that was barely questioned by her therapists? it's extremely unfortunate that it was the case, but... that's because she had shit therapists and a homophobic family, because if that wasn't the case then it wouldn't have happened and the problem isn't that puberty blockers exist or that trans teens take them, it's that you need better doctors and people should be educated to not be homophobic, and that's valid also for trans kids who know they are and can't get help/resources until they're 18 because their families are homophobic, so I don't see how one case like this is a reason to be concerned about the practice at large;

the case you discussed... what I'm reading is that one doctor was too liberal with giving out those blockers which by the way as the other person pointed out were thought of also to be given to kids as young as ten and not just because of gender dysphoria, the one that sued raised concerns that weren't taken seriously and she sued and won because they should have handled the matter differently but how is that, again, supposed to be a reason why I should be concerned about it at large if we're still talking about single doctors and single cases? it's always like that, it's not each single kid or a large majority of the kids who ever took a puberty blocker had issues, which would be what would make it concerning, and again... you solve that problem by not having shit doctors - which sadly happens - and making sure it's triple checked before prescribing medications and that the families don't suck, which isn't something that's going to happen if people keep on saying the trans agenda is ruining our children or that there's a trans cult etc because it's not an agenda nor a cult, it's real people who have rights to exist and honestly, like.... I'm a cis woman so whatever, but I had a D cup at thirteen. if I had been a trans guy and I had known from before would I have rather gone through those side effects of the meds and not having developed a D cup or let it happen and then sweat cold at the idea of having top surgery taking out that much breast? because I think I'd have rather chanced the meds;

then: but i'll just add that the porn twitter at Rowling was well and truly a thing okay, but was it when children were present to see it? because that's the concerning thing in case AND again, twitter shouldn't be used by people under the age of 13, so like if rowling was talking to children under 13 on twitter knowing it it was breaking the website's rules. and if someone sent her porn... that's inappropriate but I'm 100% sure that any celebrity in existence with a social media gets sent that at some point, which is why they hire people to look at their replies, so the point is, did children see that porn and was she anyway agreeing with having children on a platform that by its own TOS should not be used by anyone under the age of 13 anyway? because like... let's say that I am babysitting a bunch of kids under the age of 13 and I bring them to idk some open cinema thing where I don't know what they're gonna air but we'll just sit and find out and I'm stupid and I make them see Watchmen: if the kids get traumatized, whose fault is that? mine for bringing them somewhere they could engage with content not aimed at them. so if rowling is like 'MAKE YOUR KIDS SHOW UP ON TWITTER TO SEND ME DRAWINGS' she's automatically putting them in danger to be shown stuff they shouldn't see bc twitter is not aimed at her readership, dot. so honestly I don't have much sympathy for her even if it was true that children saw it, which I still didn't see any receipt of - wrt porn being sent at her, as stated I don't think a single celebrity on earth hasn't been sent either porn or thirst stuff, so like... honestly if I made the money she did I'd pay someone to report that shit and be done with it;

finally, We do have the receipts for all the rape threats / death threats though, and i'm not sure what JKR has *done* that convinces you that she'd be lying on this (as opposed to a neutral "i haven't seen it so might be true, might not be"). I never said she lied about getting death threats - I'm saying she lied about children being subjected to trans activism related porn (and the guy with the dick out could have been any idiot not necessarily a trans-related person). I'm sure she got them - I mean, I'm no one in comparison to rowling, I only ever wrote fanfic and I have once received 600 message in one hour telling me to kill myself and I have a museum of receipts of people saying I should die or I should have been raped or aborted and it was just from being on tumblr posting fanfic and shooting the shit for ten years, I don't doubt that she got death or rape threats online and I agree that she shouldn't have gotten them nor that it's any way to engage with people you disagree with - I want people to stop sharing her content and giving her money, not to wish her to get raped or killed. however, the point is that jkr will get those threats and can hire a social media manager to get rid of them, or live in the knowledge that even if some rando on twitter does it it will never physically harm her because she lives in a damned castle and can pay lawyers for an eternity to sue those people if she likes, and it's extremely unlikely that any of those randos can actually harm her. meanwhile, the fact that she finances terfs/hate movements/gives them a voice and so on actually harms trans people because those ppl fight for more restrictive legislation when in the UK it's already bad off - again FOUR YEARS for a psychology referral after you turn 18 means four years of untreated gender dysphoria and I don't think gender criticals realize what the fuck that means and that's just the first thing that comes to mind. the trans ppl jkr's views harm actually risk dying because they aren't given those resources in a timely fashion and aren't given treatment on the spot but are actually on long-ass waiting lines if they can't afford to pay in cash, and sorry to say but most times trans people don't make the money jkr does. with all the money jkr has, she could pay off reassignment surgery for most likely all of the uk's trans people on a waiting list and she'd have extra for another twenty reincarnations. like, idk how to say it anymore but jkr isn't a rando. jkr is the most famous writer alive and googling online how much money she owns it says £820 million. I don't even know what the fuck I'd do with £820 million, because I could live easily with 1 million pounds probably, but the point is that in comparison to any rando and any trans activist, jkr is in a winning position because she's rich, she's virtually untouchable and literally no one is going to harm her and her harmful views will only get her online scorn but no one is gonna stop buying her books, and even if they did she'd still have enough money to survive comfortably until she dies and then I'm pretty sure her family could live comfortably for the next five centuries. the trans people terfism hurts meanwhile could literally be dying because the NHS doesn't process their waiting lists fast enough and she's contributing to that because she supports people who don't care about trans ppl nor want them to have those rights at all;

like anything we could point out wrt what jkr has on her side in this debate doesn't hold up when the point is that she's sitting on 820 million pounds and other ppl might die because - I googled - gender reassignment surgery in the UK costs out of pocket from what the internet says £19,236 per patient, including support as well as surgery. 20k pounds is not cents. and since I'm not that shit at math yet, let's just do a small calculation. let's round out and say with 20k pounds I pay off surgery for one single trans adult in the uk. if I divide jkr's money total by 20k, I get 41k, which means that she could pay off surgery for 41k trans people. I now went on the NHS website after googling 'how many trans people there are in the uk' knowing I'd get most likely a wrong number, and: In 2018/19 around 8,000 people were referred to adult gender dysphoria services in England. 8k people in the whole of england in two years if all of them pays 20k surgery is 160 million pounds, which means that jkr could have paid off all of their surgeries and still have 660 million pounds left which is way more than anyone needs to live comfortably, and instead part of that money goes to terf organizations.... which by the way promote ideologies that also go against the interests of cis women too and, again, any other woman that's not a terf.

I think it's a no brainer. sorry but I'm sure that donald trump also gets a lot of hate mail, or that marine lepen does to stick with women, or that marjorie green whoeverthefuckishername does, and guess what, I wouldn't give a fuck if someone sends hate mail to a woman who says that school shooting massacres are a plot of the left and that 15yo kids gunned down while in class basically asked for it because that's vile and she's in the US senate and gets paid by tax payers and says this shit, so while I'm sympathetic on a human level to getting death threats/rape threats as I got them myself, I have more sympathy for people who actually risk dying and don't most times have the money to pay their way out of it rather than someone who sits on 820 billion pounds and finances people who don't believe trans people have human rights/deserve to get free treatment/to be recognized for what they are and not for what their birth certificate says.

also, everything I said but just said better is in this video here

which I would recommend to anyone who has an hour or so of time who wants a nuanced and good discussion on this take that actually takes jkr's points into more consideration than I'd have given her.

[safertokiss]

Concentrated Interests

A/N: Hola my friends! This fic was my entry for the Secret Fic Swap I participated in with a couple of close friends on here and it was written and dedicated to @nerdgirljen​. It was so much fun to write and thank you guys so much for all the support and love!

Pairing: SPENCER x READER

Category: Fluff and SMUT

Word Count: 3.3k

ENJOY:)

~~~

MASTERLIST

~~~

Spencer had never really understood the concept of soulmates or love at first sight.

In his mind, it defied pretty much every scientific law about human interaction out there and was simply a coping mechanism for those who were romantically unlucky. At least that was what he had thought until a certain tech analyst walked through the BAU’s doors and into his life. 

He was frozen. Totally and utterly enamored by the woman his eyes were currently attached to. He watched her stumble into the bullpen, a large box situated in her arms, seemingly impairing the entirety of her vision and coordination, evident by the way she kept bumping into things in her path. It wasn’t until she hit a particular desk corner and spilled the contents of the box, her belongings scattering across the floor, that Spencer broke out of his stupor and took action. 

“Woah there, let me help you with that!”, he exclaimed, immediately rushing to her side and starting to collect some of the fallen items to put back into the box.

“Oh, thank you so much. Gah, this is so embarrassing. I promise you I’m not always this uncoordinated and clumsy”, she explained with a nervous chuckle. After everything was picked up and they both had stood up from their crouched positions, she hurriedly straightened out her skirt before outstretching her hand. “Hi, I’m Y/n.” She immediately noticed the slight panic that crossed his features at her gesture and was momentarily confused.

“I-uh-I kind of don’t, um, do the whole hand shaking thing. Yeah, uh, the number of pathogens spread through a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to...oh god I’m sorry you didn’t ask for a full-out science lesson. It’s, um, really nice to meet you, I’m Reid. Doctor. Spencer”, he sputtered out nervously.

Chuckling softly, Y/n retracted her hand, opting to instead lightly nudge his shoulder. “Well Reid Doctor Spencer, it’s nice to meet you too”, a teasing smile adorning her face as she spoke. Spencer quickly felt a warm blush spread across his features at the absurdity of his introduction.

“S-sorry about that. What I meant to say is that my name is-”

“Pretty boy!”

Both of their heads swiveled towards the sound, searching for the source, before landing on a man across the room.

“Hotch needs us in the briefing room. Stop flirting with the new girl and get your ass in here!” They watched him walk away chuckling before turning back to each other.

“Pretty boy huh? Well I guess it’s fitting, I mean you do have really nice cheekbones and dimples. And your eyes are kind of beautiful. Not that I ummmm-not that I think you’re beautiful or anything, it’s just uhhh...um...I’m gonna stop talking now.” Spencer could feel the blush returning to his features, watching the same happen to her, from the frenzied rambling that had just poured from her lips, but he found it endearing on her and quite honestly, really adorable. 

“I-uh I gotta go, you know, um deal with that, but it was very nice meeting you”, he sputtered out, sending a small wave in her direction. She shyly giggled at his nervousness which was surely reflected on her end as well. “See ya around Reid Doctor Spencer.”

“Spencer. It’s um-it’s Spencer.”

“Spencer”, she repeated back softly, nodding him off with a gentle smile on her face.

~~~

Spencer Reid was in love. The longer she was around him the more he realized he was completely and utterly in love with her, all of her. She was perfect in his eyes, intelligent, funny, a bit nerdy and just so adorable. The problem was just that he had absolutely no idea how to tell her how he felt. He had never really been the type to express his feelings to someone, especially to a girl as beautiful as Y/n. 

The female species wasn’t exactly his strong suit and he was very aware of that fact, painfully aware. However, he stayed hopeful that someday soon he’d muster up the courage to express his affinity for her. Realizing that today was definitely not that day, Spencer tried to push his conflict to the back of his brain so he could try to get some work done. Not before noticing that Y/n was slightly late, though.

Less than a minute after he noticed her absence, she came bursting into the bullpen with the largest grin adorning her features, an obvious pep in her step. Spencer watched as she skipped over to the rest of the team who were gathered around Emily’s desk, close enough where he could pretty much hear the majority of the words exchanged and profile their reactions.

He heard JJ ask what was making her so chipper this morning, and he chuckled softly to himself as he heard her immediately start rambling about whatever had her so elated. 

“Oh my god guys, you’ll never believe it! So a couple of weeks ago a good friend of mine asked me to help her with her website, because well...tech geek and all, so I got to mess around with all the software and went crazy! I was able to fiddle with the source code a bit and authorize a super high CRO and SEO to get her website out there. Not to mention all the growth hacking I was able to curate! Cool right?”

Y/n stopped to take a breath and noticed that the entirety of the team was staring at her with vacant expressions on their faces. She looked on with widened eyes as she asked, “What?”

“CRO?”, JJ questioned. Morgan awkwardly chuckled out a similar questioning tone, “SEO?” Of course that left Emily to bring up the rear. “Did I hear growth hacking in there?”

Her face scrunched up in confusion at all the questions that had just been hurled her way so suddenly. “Huh?”

“Baby girl we have absolutely no idea what any of the things you just mentioned are or what they do”, Morgan explained with a sympathetic smile on his face, as the other members nodded in agreement.

Spencer watched as Y/n’s face quickly morphed into one of utter disappointment at the knowledge that her colleagues had no clue what she was going on about. She had seemed so excited when she entered the bullpen earlier so he assumed she was probably very much looking forward to getting to talk all about it with her friends.

“Oh...that’s ok. Sorry for bothering you guys, sometimes I just get a little too excited and tend to ramble. I’ll um-I’ll talk to you guys later.” Y/n flashed them a small smile before making her way over to her desk, situated across the room near Spencer. 

“Hey Spence”, she shyly waved as she passed, a deflated look on her face. Trying to lift her spirits at least a little, he returned her gesture with a huge grin and wave, happy to see her smile brighten a bit at his enthusiasm. 

Once she was seated and facing away from him, he immediately found himself feeling overwhelmingly upset over her predicament. He hated seeing her look so defeated and down, she didn’t deserve to ever feel like that. She was simply too angelic for those kinds of feelings to permeate her mind. 

Spencer wished more than anything that he knew what she was talking about so she could go to him. He’d let her ramble to him for hours on end if it meant he could listen to her melodic voice and see her beautiful face up close. 

All of sudden Spencer slapped his hand against his head and groaned, “Of course you dipshit”, before pulling up a couple tabs on his computer.

For the next few hours his work was forgotten as he studied and learned pretty much everything there was to know about technical analysis and the programming that Y/n seemed so ecstatic about, anxious to give her, at last, a companion to discuss her passion with. 

~~~

“See you later Reid!”

Spencer’s head snapped up as he heard the people around him saying their goodbyes and goodnights, realizing that he had been distracted by his screen the entire day and that it was already time to go home. He watched as his friends walked out together, all laughing about something that Morgan had said, before noticing movement in the corner of his eye. 

As he turned his head he noticed that the only person who was still there in the bullpen with him was Y/n, and she was staring at the posse that had just exited the room, a longing look plastered across her features that broke his heart. Taking a deep breath and deciding it was now or never, he rose up from his seated position and made his way over to her, hoping that he had learned enough to lighten her mood.

“Hey there!”, he exclaimed when he had found himself right behind her. As soon as the words started escaping his lips, she jumped in her seat, her hand flying to her heart.

“Jesus Christ Spence! You scared the complete shit out of me!”

Chuckling softly at her overreactive response, he moved to sit on her desk, facing her heavily breathing sitting figure. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just saw you that you were still here and was wondering why you hadn’t left with everyone else?” She quickly looked down and blushed at his questioning, embarrassed of her answer.

“Oh I-um they just looked like they were having a lot of fun and I didn’t really want to interrupt so I thought I’d stay back for a little bit to-uh finish up some stuff.” Once she finished her unconvincing explanation, Spencer leaned back a bit and studied her. While this was something he found himself doing often, always getting distracted by her spectacular figure, he focused on her body language more than anything, noticing the dark circles underneath her eyes.

“Y/n, you look absolutely exhausted. Have you even been sleeping lately?”, he asked, genuine concern laced within his words.

“Y-yeah I haven’t really. I’ve kind of been pretty preoccupied in the last few days helping out a friend. It’s really fun, but it’s also very time consuming”, she stuttered out, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Oh right! I had heard you mention that earlier today! That must be awesome getting to basically build your own website!”

“I swear I feel like a kid in a candy store doing that kind of stuff. I just find it so relaxing and exciting at the same time!”

“I totally get it. I was really impressed with how well you were able to manipulate the site’s conversion rate optimization-did you know that a site’s CRO and SEO are considered as two of the most essential tools required to run a thriving website or online business. It’s actually astounding how much the results differ between competition depending on their efficiency.”

All Y/n could do, while Spencer rambled on and on about her most passionate subjects, was sit there in complete awe. The sound of the tech-geeky words that spilled from his beautiful lips was simply orgasmic. Never had she met someone who seemed as enthused as her when it came to all her technical endeavors, and she didn’t know exactly how to react. Her biggest crush on the entire planet was sitting in front of her spouting off facts like they were going out of style.

However, amidst all the wonder that circulated through her being, confusion washed over her.

“Wait hold up! What’s going on Spence?”

“Uhhh, what do you mean?”, he questioned shyly, a blush coating his face.

Narrowing her eyes at him she expanded her questioning. “I’ve known you for months now and I can guarantee I have never once heard you mention anything even remotely technical. In fact I’ve heard you explain time and time again how confused you are by the complexities of the simplest of technology. Spill, pretty boy”, she demanded, maintaining eye contact with him.

Figuring out that he had been caught, he shyly lowered his head as the blush on his face deepened, embarrassment coursing through his veins. “I-I noticed how excited you were this morning when you came parading into the office, the wide grin that adorned your face, the skip in your step. And I heard you ramble on and on about your friend’s website and you just seemed so damn happy and then they basically just shut you down right away because they didn’t understand and I-uh I hated seeing you like that and wanted you to have someone to talk to. So I spent all day today researching and learning so you could have someone to talk to, so you wouldn’t feel alone. I-I’m sorry if that’s creepy or if it’s too-”

Spencer was suddenly cut off mid-sentence as lips smashed against his own, effectively shutting him up. His eyes immediately widened at the bold action, before he melted into the kiss, desperately responding to her fervent advances with an equal passion. 

Y/n moaned into his mouth as his tongue probed at her wet lips, begging for entry. The feeling of their tongues entangling was euphoric and they both wanted, needed more. Spencer gently grabbed her and, turning so they were both facing it, lifted her onto the desk and stood between her legs. As the kiss deepened, their hands began to tear at each other’s clothing, Y/n hastily undoing his tie and dress shirt as he all but ripped off her blouse, groaning at the sight. 

“God Y/n you’re so fucking beautiful.” He watched her eyes roll back into her head at his words as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even closer. “Please Spence, I need you. I need you so much baby.” His eyes sparkled at her desperate plea, mirroring her need wholeheartedly.

Backing away slightly he unzipped her skirt and dragged it down her legs along with her panties, quickly reaching up to also unclasp her bra. “You’ve got me baby, you’ve got me.”

She surged forward and reconnected their lips, her hands weaving their way into his hair and tugging hard. The groan that escaped his throat lit her body on fire and further ignited her need for the man in front of her. His hands, that had been cupping her face, drifted downward stooping to briefly toy with her breasts before reaching his intended destination.

She moaned loud and deep as his hands cupped her sex, gently rubbing his fingers against her. He could feel her buck her hips slightly, searching for more. Receiving the message loud and clear, he inserted his pointer finger into her, reveling in the throaty groans that poured from her lips. As he added more digits into her and gently rubbed her clit, their lips moved rapidly against each other.

Y/n needed more, letting her hands lower to the obvious bulge that was straining against his slacks, palming him incessantly. Moaning hoarsely, he pulled away and quickly undid his pants, desperate for some sort of relief. As he stepped out of his slacks and boxers, he watched her eyes widen as they took in the sight in front of her.

“Woah.” He nervously chuckled at her response.

“Uh t-thanks?”

Giggling at his uncertainty she reached out and dragged him in once again, feeling his swollen tip bump against her, both of them moaning at the euphoric feeling. Realizing how fast things had moved, he pulled back slightly to search her eyes. “Are you sure baby?”

Falling even more in love with him, her smile widened as she nodded. “I am so very sure Spence. I-I love you.” She watched the grin that spread across his face at her confession.

“God Y/n, I love you so fucking much.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he lined himself up at her entrance and swiftly thrusted into her dripping heat. The overwhelming feeling caused both of them to let out matching groans of pleasure, Y/n latching onto Spencer and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to get a grip. Once he was sure she was ok, he started slowly thrusting in and out of her, soon setting a steady pace.

“Oh Spencer! You feel so perfect inside of me! So, so good!”, you exclaimed, cries of pleasure leaving your mouth.

“Baby you’re so warm and tight around me, I love you so much!” 

“I love you t-too!”

He gradually increased his already brutal thrusts, Y/n feeling herself fastly approaching the brink of ecstasy at the hands of the resident genius. Leaning back on her elbows, Spencer used the opportunity to pound even harder into her wanting body, his own release just around the corner. 

“Are you going to cum for me pretty girl?” She couldn’t control herself after hearing his dirty words, unaware that he was capable of such a thing, feeling her eyes roll back once again. She nodded fervently, about to crash over the edge. All rational thought was out the window once his fingers found her throbbing clit, rubbing incessantly, catapulting her into her climax, her pussy clenching around his rigid cock as she came.

“Oh my god Spencer!”

Her reactions were simply too much for him, groaning and moaning uncontrollably, finding his thrusts sputtering out of control as his cock twitched deep inside of her, quickly reaching his highly anticipated orgasm. She felt his seed fill her up completely as he panted out her name over and over again, both of them coming down from their highs, breathing deeply.

“Wow. Fucking wow,” she blissfully sung, a wide grin coating her lips.

“Y/n, baby, that was insane. You’re insane.”

He helped her off the desk so they could redress and finally leave the office, noticing how late it had gotten. They couldn’t help themselves from sending each other giddy smiles as they put on their clothes and eventually made their way down to their respective cars. 

Neither one of them seemed ready to leave each other just yet, some unspoken feeling crackling in the air between them. Taking the initiative, Y/n leaned forward, gently connecting their lips in a kiss that held the same passion from earlier, but was much more relaxed and romantic. Pulling back after a few moments, Y/n’s eyes sparkled up at Spencer’s as she spoke.

“Spence, what you did earlier...no one’s ever done something like that for me. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would go out of your way just to make me feel comfortable and happy.”

“Y/n, I promise you I wanted to wholeheartedly. Nothing matters more to me than your happiness. I just-I just love you so damn much. I think I have since you walked in and dropped all your shit on the floor”, he said chuckling. 

“Heyyyy, that was one time jerk”, she defended, a matching chuckle evident in her voice. “But I know what you mean. I think I’ve loved you since you introduced yourself as Reid Doctor Spencer, that memory will forever be embedded in my mind.” She couldn’t stop the light giggle that fell from her lips at the thought of their first meeting.

Meeting her eyes, suddenly a bit shy, he gently cupped her face, “What if, from now on, I introduced myself as your boyfriend?”, he asked cautiously, anxiously waiting to see how she reacted to his proposition. Instead of answering right away she jumped forward, throwing her arms around his neck and connecting their lips once more.

“I would love nothing more, my gorgeously intelligent boyfriend.”

Taglist: @hopebaker​ @pastathighs​ @psychedellic-phase​ @gloryekaterina​ @sleepysnapesnake​ @racharr​ @etherealgubler @furiouspartyrebelhoagie​ @andiebeaword​ @liaabsurd​ @cielo1984​ @starkeybaby​ @victomizedbyreginageorge​ @rainsong01​ @moonlight-jukebox​ @gretaamyk​ @httpnxtt​ @rachelxwayne​ @watermelonstyl​ @goldnratio​ @peakyblinderficrecs @cheyxminds​

[whoistheasshole]

How do I get out of this unsatisfying life I’m living?

Anonymous asks: So the thing is that I feel incredibly stuck - I have all the basics of life which I'm grateful for but also that was my BIG dream as a kid, to get tf out of my parents' house - but now I have that and idk what to do for the rest of my life. Like, if I try those "visualize your future" things I'm just like, "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer" & it feels like I don't really WANT anything so I can't plan, you know? Just flailing here honestly. Pretty tired of it.

I wrote back: I got your question. To pinpoint my answer a little better, can you tell me about your current situation, like how long has it been since you moved out? Which are the things you have in order to your satisfaction? Some vague idea of your age range would also be helpful, but I can work without it too if you’d rather not share.

Anonymous answered: Ah, sorry. I was trying to fit in the character limit & also whenever I think about this my mind just goes flbbbbth. It's been about 5 years? That's about the only thing I'm truly HAPPY about, I'm not thrilled with my social/love life, career, etc & have pretty much been just coasting tbh. I'm almost 30. Thanks for entertaining this.

Alright, thanks for adding some background. I will come at this from different angles and you can pretty much pick and choose what sounds helpful and leave the rest, okay?

First, while there are people who have it all figured out, methodically planning their next career step or fully certain that there is no greater joy than raising a child, there are tons of other people who just, to quote, go „ flbbbbth“ when asked about their next steps or, god forbid, their life plan. I would say I fall in the latter camp, but I don’t mind because I think there is nothing wrong with that. I let myself be guided by the things I need to be happy (more on that later) and by current necessities – if my job becomes shit, I need to find a new job. If a friendship goes sour, I need to end it respectfully. But I couldn’t tell you specific career or personal goals, except...

... let’s talk about the „later“ now.

I’m an organizer, maybe even a worrier, and therefore I like lists. And for that reason I made a list a while ago that I still have and expect to keep for a long time. It is a list of everything that I need to be satisfied with my life. It consists of 29 entries and has three of them checked, though several others could be counted as half-checked. I wrote down everything that came to mind, paying no attention whether it was reasonable or feasible to want. That wasn’t the question.

It covers stuff like a clean flat (not checked), restful sleep (not checked), friends that I see regularly (checked) or a job with purpose (not checked). This list is my guide. Well, generally my needs are my guide, but it can be hard to be aware of your needs sometimes, so I got this list. And if I wonder what I need or want to focus on, I can turn to it and choose one of the entries and see what I can do about it. I can also look over the list every few years and see if things have developed in the right direction. Little progress is no reason to chastise myself, but helpful information to see whether I need to re-direct my focus.

Please note that I wrote „satisfied“, not „happy“. Being happy is a passing emotional state. It is completely normal and okay not to be happy all the time. But quiet satisfaction with where you are or where you are going, that is pretty achievable. It certainly is a process, but an enjoyable one.

This list is not a race and it is not really a to-do list because most of the things I wrote down aren’t easy to accomplish with a single action. They take months and years and, for some items, I can only try and hope it works out some day (see anybody who ever purposely looked for a partner).

So maybe this kind of list could be an exercise for you. Maybe it provides you with some insight, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s not the right point in your life. But if you sit down and the only thing you can come up with is „cry forever“ or „sleep forever“ then, you know, that’s a sign.

Which brings me to my next point: Journaling or automatic writing. This method is especially helpful for those „I feel some kind of way and I couldn’t even tell you how“ moments – so maybe exactly where you are right now. Captain Akward has introduced me to a website called „750 words“ and I’ve used the principle of „morning pages“, though not the website, since then whenever I felt like some emotions were starting to boil over.

I sit down, ideally in the morning, and just barf it all on the (digital) page. There are only two rules: 1) Don’t edit or judge yourself, write everything as it comes to mind (that’s the automatic writing part) and 2) Don’t stop before you’ve reached 750 words. You are not looking to write anything readable or clever or lyrical, you’re looking to get all the weirdness out so you can move on. Repeat this as many days as you feel queasy or weird or confused or angry or sad. Each day, as soon as you’ve reached the 750 words, you can walk away. Heck, you could even delete/burn the document if that feels right. It’s just about giving your thoughts the room they need so you can continue with your day, hopefully feeling somewhat relieved.

While we’re at writing, I also have a question for you: Where is the pressure coming from to „do something with your life“? Is it truly coming from inside you or are there outside factors? Are people in your life asking you when you’ll have kids? Do you live in a culture where it’s expected that everybody does something of note, works certain prestigious jobs? Do you compare yourself to the people around you and feel like you’re „late“?

Maybe mull this over on a leisurely walk or write about it, using the method above. No matter where it’s coming from, the feeling of pressure won’t go away just by knowing its origin, but the knowledge can help you keep it under control. And if you find it is truly your own wish, you will have tools to shape your life according to your needs.

So, next, sleep: Maybe do that?

You wrote "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer". I understand this was half a joke, but also … it was probably more than a joke.

How are your energy levels? How does life feel? Are you trying to jog through jello most of these days?

If we’ve been overachievers or had a tough home life or needed to take care of ourselves pretty early, we can become accustomed to everything being difficult. This feeling and behavior can become a way of life, even when circumstances change and we have a chance to act differently.

Do you feel rested? Do you have regular moments of quiet in your life that let you breathe? If not, this is where I would start. Forget about lists, though morning pages might be a helpful accompanying tool (if they don’t become a task to punish yourself with if you don’t find the energy).

Take some weeks or months, maybe even a year to make rest your priority. You will have to find a way that works for you. Yes there is a lot of clinically proven stuff out there, but you will not see me do yoga or meditate. Though feel free if that’s up your alley. If you love cycling or taking photos or drawing or just plain lying on your bed and staring at the wall, see where you can add more of that to your day. Whatever brings you closer to yourself and makes you feel like you can exhale and stand still for a moment, that’s the way to go. Do this as long as sleeping seems like a fine choice. And for good measure maybe a month longer. You are ready to stop when you cannot wait to do something else goddamnit I’m bored!!! (you might say)

If you are in this picture, please start here. Any kind of life plan, next steps, strategizing, solving of riddles would set you back and perpetuate your exhaustion. Rest is not time wasted, rest is how you get your life back.

If you are in this picture, you will likely find that if you really pull through, if you truly rest, as long and boring or even scary as it may be, the other questions will probably have an intuitive answer afterwards. Not like „this is my 20-year career plan“, but „I feel like doing x this week“. And that is enough. Because you won’t need to strain to hear your needs through the fog of exhaustion anymore.

Finally, some practical information and links for when you do have the energy and inclination to tackle your job and social life. I am not saying you need to change anything if that’s not what you want to focus on. These are just some tips, in case they become relevant.

For your social life, I recommend what others have recommended before me: Pick an activity that you do with other people and stick with it long enough to become a familiar face, see also here and here (yes, meeting gay people is similar to meeting other people). If you try out new stuff, go there at least 5 or 6 times before you decide it’s not for you – of course assuming nothing bad is coming up like racist or abusive people in the group. Shop around if the first group/activity doesn’t work for you until you find something that you’d like to do permanently. Maybe you’ll gain some friends, maybe you’ll find a romantic opportunity. In any case, if it’s something fun that you like to do anyway, you will have found an outlet with a social group attached. It is absolutely not as easy right now, with Covid and all, but if nothing outdoors-y comes to mind, you could also use this time to brainstorm what sounds like fun for when things are safer again.

Of course you can also look at opportunities online, like Discord servers, online interest groups etc but I do understand if that’s just not appealing right now. I am certainly over sitting in front of a screen.

To round this up, don’t sneeze at contacts that you already have. Are there acquaintances, friends of friends, colleagues, family members who you would like to get to know better? Then go do that! Suggest a time and place to meet up and see how they react. Say yes to the potential friends.

Speaking of which...

The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes might also be interesting. Sure, it’s a little pop culture positive thinking kinda stuff, but I did like the impulse it gave me to consider when I say no to opportunities out of anxiety or worry. It made me accept some social invitations from colleagues (… in the before times) that I would not have otherwise considered. I did not gain life-long friends, but I did learn another valuable info: That my FOMO wasn’t justified for these events ;)

It also lead me to the decision to do one new thing every month – visit a new place or try a new activity or cook a new food. If the concept sounds appealing, just think about what sounds interesting and achievable to you.

And finally, the advice blog recommendations that I’ll always have. For social life, love life, and general life planning turmoil: Captain Awkward. For everything job-related, including how to write a good cover letter or interview well and, of course, how to get out of the dreaded current job you have: Ask A Manager.

To sum it up:

1) Figure out if you even have the energy to tackle any of this right now.

2) Figure out your pillars for a satisfying life – nothing big and shiny, just … basic needs, wishes, social needs.

3) When you feel like it, pick what you want to tackle next and see where it leads you.

4) Stay flexible. This is your life and it’s okay to go where it takes you, even if it doesn’t look „cool“ or „impressive“ from the outside. All you need is to make it your own.

And if you want to, let me know how it goes some time. :)

[fairykery]

Safest internet places for SasuSaku fans

Tumblr:

(Although less active by second, it only falls to the naruto fandom not being as active as it used to be due to the boredom of the anime(unless sasuke/or sasusaku appears then the internet goes nutz lol like rn). Despite this they(sasusaku) are still always on top of every Naruto pairing each year by maintaining their names on the list every year since their canonization. I honestly feel like this is the safest and funnest place to be; but it’s not as active as it used to. I theorize reposters are encouraging artists to die here and thus pushing them to post and be on twitter.)

comicbook.com:

https://comicbook.com/anime/2018/06/01/naruto-boruto-anime-sasuke-sakura-sexy-joke-reaction/

https://comicbook.com/anime/2019/07/14/naruto-sakura-sasuke-retsuden-cover-art-masashi-kishimoto/

https://comicbook.com/anime/2019/12/03/boruto-naruto-important-sasuke-sakura-moment/

(never posted i negative article about them up till this day, at least to my knowledge)

Watchmojo:

(warning note: although they love sasuke/sakura/sasusaku they still slip and are are still huge anti pleasers and made a follow up anti sakura video after their pro sakura video backlashed.  What i found kinda funny though was that they quoted something i ranted in their comment section(on an anti sasusaku/sakura video they did after the backlash to the pro) and i keep wondering if it was coincidence or not...because like “my exact same words?” really? like how lol? This was after i made the rant on their comment section. They used it to be positive about Sakura again; but we’ll see just how much redemption they’ll acquire and forgiveness they deserve)

YOUTUBE Anime Balls Deep:

(the anti pleasing isn’t as brutal as watchmojo’s if i am being completely honest. He only posted an anti sakura meme ONCE on twitter and later immediately mentioned how he was only joking around *rolls eyes* i guess this whole anti sakura thing is fun even for her supposed defenders). He is verified and recently posted on his twitter that he will have an upcoming interview with kodachi(the creater of boruto); but the date has yet to be mentioned.

YOUTUBE: Naruto Explained

(He is very meh about it(likes alot of anti comments though and claims that he only does it because he finds them funny); but he has said that he feels that the overwhelming hate towards them is a bit unfair. I think he was also the guy that understands their popularity despite the loudness of haters. Uses databooks.)

Crunchyroll.com:

(I think they really just support all canon couples; but it’s cute how they always compliment Sakura and like cute SasuSaku pics, therefore i love them. Please support them by watching anime through their website. They deserve it. And also it raises ratings and sends them to japan. They had made a whole video about it.)

Twitter.com:

(As much as i prefer tumblr, the twitter fandom is very passionate. To tell ya that they made the pairing trend worldwide. Only sasusaku has managed to do this(all thanks to twitter). Only SasuSaku. I actually think it’s safer than youtube; but it’s only natural considering how full of assholes youtube is...sasusaku fandoms may stomp on youtube in stats but the fandom in general(the sasusaku fandom i mean) just prefers to stay away from drama and toxic fans and mind their own business, posting their amvs and whatnot, and thus that’s why it appears like youtube had more haters(ss) than lovers; but i can assure you that that was not/or is the case at all. I made a poll back when google plus was linked to youtube and:

there are definitely more lovers than haters.

But that’s besides the point, 

Anyways are there any safe places you would like to add to the list? 

And remember, haters aren’t more popular-- they are just more loud. But that just proves how much more mature the sasusaku fandom is compared to the others. Because even though we are bigger in numbers, our bad apples aren’t as bad as the toxic ones of the others.

[addierose444]

Attending a Women’s College

According to Smith’s website, Smith is a women’s college. (To read more about why, click here). That said, the reality is that Smith isn’t actually 100% women. (Thus some Smithies prefer the term historically women’s college). In terms of actual Smithies, there also are non-binary folks and some trans-men. It is worth noting that while students who transition to male during their time at Smith are totally welcome to stay, prospective trans-men are not eligible for admittance. For more information about the college’s specific policy, click here. Another thing to know is that not all women’s colleges have the exact same policies. Outside of actual Smithies, our faculty is co-ed and we have male students from the Five College Consortium and local high school. 

I will say upfront that I don’t have particularly strong feelings on this topic. That said, I still wanted to share my thoughts and insights. I also want to point out that while I have been extremely happy at Smith, an “all” women environment is not for everyone. Namely, I have a friend who is transferring primarily because she wound up missing having a co-ed environment. 

While Smith makes it on to many students lists precisely because it is a women’s college, I initially saw this as a con. When I was in elementary school, all of my closest friends were boys. Furthermore, I am fairly self-confident and didn’t think I “needed” an “all” women environment. In high school, I was never phased by being the only girl in my AP computer science class. In applying to colleges, all the other schools I applied to were co-ed. However, given that I wanted to become an engineer I knew that attending any other college would mean an incredible skew in the opposite direction. (You can read about my academic journey to engineering and computer science here). For this reason, by the time I actually made my college decision, I was starting to view the gender factor of Smith as more of a pro. 

As a student, I honestly don’t really notice a difference. It is only when I see a college-age guy wandering around that I fully remember that Smith is a women’s college. I know that this is such a boring answer, but it is the truth. Besides, since there are many non-binary people, in some ways Smith is way more gender diverse than my co-ed high school. Being at a women’s college is supposed to be so empowering. While I wouldn’t say I personally identify with this statement, I definitely have friends that feel quite empowered to be in classrooms of “all” women. I will say that it is really cool and unique to be part of an engineering department at a women’s college. What I love most about attending a women’s college is that I just feel safer when walking around on campus.  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #273

ew, wtf is this new /tagged formatting???? ugh.

What is something you dislike about the dating world? I haven't dated around enough to have first-hand experience, really. But from an outside view, people don't seem all that interested in serious commitment. Don't fwm if you aren't into the idea of working towards a whole lifetime together. What gives you confidence? Bitch nothing lmao. Have you ever dated someone with very different sexual tastes than you? No. What is the most meaningful gift you’ve ever given? Both Jason and Sara got a huge list of reasons I love them for certain relationship "milestones," both which really did take a long time because there were loads. I did it with each because I really did feel like it was a very personal, uplifting, and full-of-adoration gift, not just for the sake of recycling an idea because I had no others. I have a shitload of romantic ideas, ngl man. Do you feel as though someone ‘won’ in your last break up? Neither of us "won" or "lost," really. It was a mutual agreement that now just isn't the time for a relationship between us. Whatever happened to the first person you ever loved? Sometimes I'm scared to know. Do you still shop at the same stores you liked when you were a teenager? Yeah. Thankfully Hot Topic became more accessible to plus-size people. Is there anyone significantly older than you that you would date? No. I won't go over like... nine years. Even eight it pushing it. Please share your embarrassing and weird celeb crushes. Post pictures. What do you like about them? I don't have any "embarrassing" or "weird" ones. What is something your partner does that is unattractive to you? N/A What is something that would have made the show better/you would have liked to see happen on one of your favorite series? I honestly wish Weed in Ginga Densetsu Weed was more realistic and realized Hougen was worth killing himself. The lightning seemed cheap and anti-climactic. He had EVERY reason to kill him, and it sounds weird to consider killing as a form of growth, but I feel like it would've been. Maybe that's just a personal thing, believing killing is sometimes justified, but it actually annoyed me. Nevertheless, fucking fantastic show. How do you feel about celebrities that are silent about political or human rights issues? Do you think celebrities should use their platform to speak out? I have... mixed feelings. I think most of me says to use their prominence for good, to be a loud voice to look up to and bring greater attention to issues, but at the same time, some people just like/feel safer being non-political. When you were a kid, what child characters did you admire or relate to most? BINDI IRWIN!!!!!!!!!! I still follow and fucking adore her. Y'all she recently got married and she is just so beautiful and so happy and the Irwins are just genuinely angels on this earth. Tell me about a time that you were bored in a relationship (can be romantic or friendship). What was it about them/the situation that bored you? I've never been romantically bored, and not really with a friendship, either. Sure, I've been bored in another's presence, but it was never a consistent issue. Who’s your favorite Tiktoker? I have never even touched it. How high or low is the barrier to entry in your field or desired field? It's tough, but not that high. More than anything, photography depends on who you know to help get you out there, sadly. It's luck, too. There is most certainly skill involved, but yeah... building your brand up to stand out with only your own hands is ridiculously hard. But that's really any small business/self-employed position. Where would you look if you were looking for a job (e.g., indeed.com, company websites, asking a friend…)? I've pretty much always used Indeed, or I hear from family/friends. How much lower than your ideal salary would you take? What would the job have to entail for you to take a less than ideal wage? Hi, I live in America, where the government doesn't give a fuck if you can support yourself on minimum wage or not. :^) But anyway, this is a difficult question to answer with how little experience I have. I can say, however, that I will fucking not work to just barely scrape by with minimum wage. If I'm going to bust my ass, it's gonna be fucking worth it. Even if you were able to support yourself/your own family, would there ever be a situation in which you would choose to live in a shared house with another family or individual, be it your parents or a sibling’s family, or some other housemate? Sure, I wouldn't mind. Especially family. Do bridges make you nervous? To a degree. Are there any movies that you find so dumb, you find funny? Napoleon Dynamite, of course. How often do you vacation? Pretty much never ever. Do you think it’s cruel to leave a live fish to die in an ice box? I am genuinely concerned for you if you say no to this. Have you ever done anything sexual with someone of the same sex? Yes. Have you ever pawned anything off at a pawn shop? No. Do you have stomach abs? OH, HUNNY- Do you know anyone who is trying to physically impersonate a celebrity? No. Have you ever seen a shuttle launch? I mean, on TV, but even then I didn't seriously watch it. Are we having signs of the apocalypse? I don't believe in the "apocalypse." We're going to fall through natural methods. We're definitely heading deeper into destruction in some ways, though, by our own hands. I'm quite sure humans themselves will be the end of humanity. Would you rather see The Blue Man Group or Fear Factor live? BLUE MAN GROUP!!! They're dooooope. Do you have any exciting plans for this upcoming weekend? No. I'm staying in the goddamn house like we're fucking supposed to. What color of colored contacts would you like to have? To wear regularly? Sapphire blue. Ohhh, maybe one that, and the other icy blue. What’s on your bedside table? It's more a shelf than a table, so I have quite a bit. My medicine basket, fan, a drink, books, sketchbook, some other miscellaneous things. What’s on your bed? A bedsheet, comforter, two pillows, and me, ha ha. Your floor besides furniture? Nothing. Your dresser? All my meerkat stuffed animals, plus some others. The top shelf in your closet? Ha, good question. Are there any dead stuffed animals in your house? No. What’s the best prize you’ve won on an amusement park/carnival game? *shrug* Have you ever done anything sexual in a school? No, I was a good noodle. Have you ever been indoor skydiving? No. Would you have any interest in going on a cruise? Not really. What did you have for dinner last night? I made some hot wings. What's your ideal indoor temperature? High 60s, ig. It’s hard to really tell because my room is always the hottest in the house and I have a fan on me, so I don’t really feel the “normal” temperature most of the time. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. What's the grossest thing u have found in your food? Probably nothing worse than a hair or something, idk. Are you a flip flop lover? I am NOTORIOUS for wearing flipflops absolutely year-round. A little bit of snow on the ground? I’m wearing my gd flipflops because they’re just easy to slide on and I care about convenience probably too much lmao. What namebrand dishwashing liquid do u use? … Dawn, I think? I don’t really pay attention. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? UGH yesssssssssss hunty. Do you prefer hard or soft shell tacos? I hate tacos, but I’d definitely rather have a soft shell than hard. Ever worn a flower in your hair? Maybe as a kid? Name five random things in your kitchen? Nothing abnormal, really… no, wait. You know those sticky cylinder things that flies are attracted to and die a slow death for their brazen intrusion upon your property? We have one of those hanging up in there. Magnets and pictures on the fridge is considered pretty normal, right? Name four things in your fridge? Milk, apples, a bigass bag of pepperoni, and some cold water bottles because I strongly prefer cold water. Name two things in your meds cabinet? We’ve got a load… Different kinds of pain pills, things like Pepto, etc. Name six things in your family room? A couch, a reclining chair, the TV, Mom’s bed, loads of pictures on the walls, and uh… sidetables? Name three things in your bedroom? My snake, my bed, and my dresser. Name three things in your yard? A bird feeder that squirrels like to steal from, a random fucking dolphin statue thingy that deadass looks like a distorted dick (it’s been here since we got here, idfk), and two sheds. Name two things in your bathroom? Our bathroom is tiiiny, so very normal stuff. Y’know, a toilet and sink. What health problems do you have? A lot that I don’t feel like thinking through. Fave name brand of water? Essentia. Do you have a trampoline? Not since I was a teenager. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? Jam to make a pb&j. Do you like clowns? No opinion. Are you listening to anything at the moment? Surprisingly nothing, but Halocene’s cover of “My Immortal” is seeeeeriously jammed in my head. Do you twitch when your falling asleep? YES. They’re more like muscle spasms. Are your dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? We don’t have one; we have to wash by hand. Buuut that house we’re moving into has one! :’) When is the last time you were on a bicycle? Not since I was a teenager. I used to love love loooove to ride my bike after school. What have you eaten today? Special K cereal and aforementioned sandwich. Do you own a strapless bra? Fuckin Y I K E S that would not work w/ my size lmfao. Does the person you like know it? Ye. Did anything brighten up your day today? Our lawn FINALLY got mowed and the bushes trimmed. We had to tidy it up before we can move. It looked like a jungle, deadass serious. Do you ever wonder how other people see you? Only all the time. What is one good thing you're known for? I write well. How about one bad thing? I’m very dependent. When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? Wow, no clue. I rarely sing, never mind an entire song. What is one thing that is currently bothering you? Actually my stomach kinda hurts. What did you do today? Wander around the Internet looking for something to even mildly entertain me, play World of Warcraft for a very brief period since I’m going through a bored phase of it, read for a bit, showered… not a lot, but later today we’re celebrating my mom’s birthday early, actually. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? No. I think my dimples are kinda cute, but that’s it. Do you regret going out with the last person you did? Not at all. Do you realize it when you curse? It’s so normal in my vocabulary that generally, no. I’m very mindful around kids, though. I still remember the first time I said “fuck” in my mom’s presence without realizing it and she just like f r o z e. Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? Yeah, for various reasons. That is veeeeery rare nowadays, though, partially because I’m so fucking bored that I’m just happy to close the day. What's the longest amount of time you've been stuck in traffic? An hour or so is my guess while traveling. I don’t recall any specific instances. Best field trip experience? We went to the zoo!!!! It was the one and only time thus far that I’ve seen meerkats irl. What is the most amount of money you've spent on a meal before? I’ve never really been able to buy my own meal, never mind something expensive. What museums have you visited, if any? Just local ones centered around art or science, generally. What's your worst traveling experience? Idk. Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? Never played. Not my kinda game. What area of math are you best at? Worst? lol I suck at them all. How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It’s exciting! Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? No, because I don’t believe in any “magical” influence over events that occur. Shit just happens, sometimes to good people, sometimes to bad people, and everything in-between. How often do you "half-ass" things (put little effort in)? IIII tend to do that a lot.. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Not really. Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? You could say so, but it turned out fine that I missed it anyway. What's something that makes you incredibly nervous? Talking to people I don’t know or being alone with a man. If you don't have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? N/A If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn't need them anymore? I’d be fuckin’ stoked, I could get my undereye dermal without it looking stupid. How many vegetarians do you know? I’m not sure. Have you ever considered going to art school? Does Photography count? I majored in that. Otherwise, no. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? No, I was always very attentive in class. Are your parents supportive of you? Very.

[weirdlizard26]

For the ask meme? All of them.

jay,,,

give me a sec to edit this post ok

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine

i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book

7. earbuds or headphones?

ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs

9. favorite smell in the summer?

pavement after rain and also. grass.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

sorry i couldnt choose!

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice

18. ideal weather?

when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice

19. sleeping position?

i just lie on my left side like a fool

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notebook!

21. obsession from childhood?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!

22. role model?

kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do

23. strange habits?

repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.

24. favorite crystal?

all of them!!!!!

25. first song you remember hearing?

my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

go for a walk!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

slep

28. five songs to describe you?

we are the people by empire of the sun

home by cavetown

strawberry blonde by mitski

smile like you mean it by the killers

afterlife by arcade fire

29. best way to bond with you?

wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes

30. places that you find sacred?

i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?

*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match

32. top five favorite vines?

road work ahead

a avocado!! thanks!!!!!

REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

i fell can you help me :(

that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles

33. most used phrase in your phone?

idk how to check that??? sowwy

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv

35. average time you fall asleep?

3am? 4am? idk for sure

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

t-trollface…

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on my mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals

41. last person you texted?

jay uwu

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

afabs cant have both huh

but i want both. please give me both.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies

44. favorite scent for soap?

aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

something really really long

47. favorite type of cheese?

there are different types????

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i hope im a pear

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

become a good person. thats all.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier

51. current stresses?

UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!

52. favorite font?

i like comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i dont have one!

55. favorite fairy tale?

gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;

56. favorite tradition?

on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

im torn between sports anime and slice of life

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly

from haikyuu

obviously

62. seven characters you relate to?

tsukishima kei from haikyuu

mae borowski from nitw

apollo justice from ace attorney

flame princess from adventure time

donatello from tmnt

sokka from atla

kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100

63. five songs that would play in your club?

mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds

64. favorite website from your childhood?

if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf

65. any permanent scars?

yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox

66. favorite flower(s)?

idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips

67. good luck charms?

dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,

70. left or right handed?

im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie

71. least favorite pattern?

i like traditional ukrainian ornaments

72. worst subject?

history :P

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

ice cream + fries

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

if its green it can stay

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license, so.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies!

82. pc or console?

i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!

83. writing or drawing?

please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts :O

84. barbie or polly pocket?

idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both

86. cookies or cupcakes?

my heart goes to cookies

87. your greatest fear?

finding out im faking any part of my identity

88. your greatest wish?

get through whatever’s going on right now

89. who would you put before everyone else?

mom

90. luckiest mistake?

when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights……

93. nicknames?

never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name

94. favorite season?

spring ;w;

95. favorite app on your phone?

sudoku

 96. desktop background?

 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

my own and my mom’s

 98. favorite historical era?

eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap

[yasminsqueendom]

Antique the Vamp Geek Pt1 Ep12

CW: The usual (stress, anxiety,anger)

A/N: Another good old Q and A

W/C: 1994

So hey, I feel like I’ve gotten away from my original purpose here. Y’all have been extremely supportive in the messages that you have sent me regarding the content of my last few episodes, but I really want to hear from y’all. 

I have had the opportunity to let you guys send me recorded questions. And I have to say, I really love hearing your voices. Y’all sound so cute to me. But, anyway, I have your questions, and I will answer them as I always have.  

Here’s the first one from @errbody.mad3: Hey, Tique! I have to say, I love listening to your show. I think that everything you do and say is amazing. There have been times that I wanted to give up, but you have kept me going with your sass, and strength. How do you do it? But, also, how are you? Just in general.

Hey, love. With beautiful people like you in the world, things can’t be so bad, right? Thank you, kindly, for listening to my crazy ass. And thank you for existing. You don’t know what it means to me to know that with everything that been happening, people like you keep pulling through and sticking it out with me.

Umm, I’m alive I guess. There is definitely a lot more going on than I have the ability to say here. Just know that I am surviving. There are some legal things that I have to deal with between me and my family (my parents in particular). I can't speak to my younger siblings at all. All communications have pretty much ceased. Outside of that, I don't have much to say. 

Oh yeah, and my parents have begun a campaign to get my show off the air. So there's that.

Ok, next question from @tko.winna876: I remember you said way back in the first show that not everybody becomes a vampire when they come in contact with the virus. Can you elaborate on that?

So…..when I was turned I did A LOT of research about what this was. There wasn't a whole lot of info at the time, but one thing was clear: everyone didn't turn. After some thought, I suppose it makes sense. If everyone turned at first contact there would be no more uninfected humans. But, I became curious about people who didn't turn. Apparently, the virus can still hide inside of an “uninfected” person for a period of time. The immune system can fight it. However, if that person becomes ill, and their immune system is compromised, the virus could become active. On average, out of 100 samples, this “reactivation” happened less than once. Similarly, with pregnant women, the chances of their babies becoming vamps were even smaller than reactivation. 

Oddly enough, white people are slightly more susceptible to the virus. But people of color still tend to contract it at higher rates. 

And then there is the population of people that just die. It is a slow and painful death. You end up bleeding out of various orifices and severely dehydrating. 

Then, obviously, there is the population that turns. Your kidneys are basically failing and you can't make new platelets, so you need to consume blood. What manner of sorcery manages to get it out of your guts and into your bloodstream is beyond my understanding. 

Most of the people who turn end up dying anyway. 

The ones that survive can live really long lives. But we aren't exactly immortal. Due to our bodies being repeatedly rejuvenated by consuming blood, we age a lot slower. Quality of blood also affects this. Drinking from alcoholics, or people with certain chronic illnesses can have negative effects on us. We may even experience a high from a drug addict depending on how recently they have used. 

The younger the blood, the better. But I am morally opposed to drinking from anyone younger than me. Just putting that out there.

So, yeah. That's what I know so far. You are always welcome to peruse the website for more info if you like. And there are several forums where older, more experienced vamps will discuss and give advice and survival tips.

Alright, I have a question from @subwaykid312: Will you ever have a guest on your show? Like actually there having a conversation with you?

Ummm, it’s an idea I have been playing with for a while now. I do want to have people come in and visit. Safety is a priority for me though, so I’m always sceptical of people wanting to meet me. Also, I would never want someone to come in if they don’t feel comfortable discussing things on the air. My ultimate goal would be to have an experienced vamp come on the show to talk about their experiences and share resources. And,, I would want to hear their thoughts on government involvement the treatment of our kind. I know that a few more experienced vamps follow my show, and I certainly want to extend an invitation to anyone who would want to participate. 

Here is another question from @lei.lei716: Hey Tique! It’s been awhile since you talked about sex and vampirism. Do you have any other advice about safe ways that we can be intimate with our partners?

Actually, yes. It’s something that has been weighing on my mind for some time. I really enjoyed a lot of the feedback I got on the practicing safe sex. Particularly, when you are infected with a contagious virus that may alter your partner’s life permanently, or kill them painfully.

I think that you should be patient. I definitely will get more in depth with safe sex, intimacy, and all that in another show. Also, just hygiene and upkeep in general seem like a good idea to discuss. Vampirism isn’t all that magical shit you see in movies. Your body still does weird things. 

Okay, one more question from @esthea.312: I remember you talked about getting punched in the face back in Ep 4. I got into a fight with another vamp, and they punched me in the face. And...um… one of my fangs fell out. I’m more than a little concerned with this. I know uninfected adults don’t grow another set of teeth. Do we get new teeth, since we got fangs?

So, this is a really good question. Yes, our teeth did grow and strengthen when we were turned. But we did not grow another set of teeth. If that were the case, then our old teeth would have been sitting on our pillows, and the tooth fairy would have left us a bag of blood as a gift. So, sadly, you will not grow another fang. However, there are some dentists that are progressive enough that they will be happy to create a new one for you. Hell, you could be like Beyonce with “diamond fangs” in your mouth. But, it will cost you a pretty penny. If you can afford it, go awf. Otherwise, try to only take photos from your cute side. 

Which actually reminds me of another situation. I’ve heard that there are some vamps that have their fangs replaced by flatter teeth. It makes them feel safer, and it’s easier to assimilate. Honestly, I have considered getting the surgery done since I don’t bite for sustenance. Then, I realized that people are always uncomfortable with my appearance. Being a big black girl with super short hair, people always feel the need to stare or offer their opinions about my health. So, there is that. At least now, they back away from me rather than trying to get closer.

Ok, one last question from @drea.ds.saint12: Do you have/know of any vamps that have dental issues? Our immune systems are stronger than the uninfected because sanguinilis kicks our systems into overdrive so that it doesn’t have to share us with other illnesses. Our teeth (and bones in general) strengthen a lot when we turn, but I have seen some vamps with rotting teeth. How is that possible?

Well, upkeep is still important. We are still susceptible to bacterial infections and such that can eat away at us. Fungi, and things like that, can still settle in us. The biggest difference between us and the uninfected are that we heal quickly. So, we can still contract infections, but our bodies fight them off faster. 

I know that wasn’t the best explanation, but think of it this way: If we develop an infection, the bacteria/fungus can live on us or in us, but the moment it starts to hinder our ability to function, sanguinilis kicks in and beats it’s ass. That means that, yes, our teeth can rot and we can get rashes and such, but they end up being minor inconveniences. 

Other viruses aren’t tolerated at all. It wants us to survive for a long as possible, and when that isn’t possible, it makes us infect others. It’s vain, but it isn’t stingy. It loves to share.

Alright! So that’s it for the Q and A session, but I did have other updates for y’all as far as our local government is concerned. 

Apparently, there is a vote in the works. The city council is trying to decide if underage vamps should be allowed to attend schools. Now, shortly after the discovery that vampirism was real, there was a push to test everyone who worked/attended schools where the students were under the age of 18. Fortunately, the vast majority (and I mean like 99.99%) of students under the age of 18, and their teachers came up as negative for sanguinilis. In fact, the largest population of infected people came up in the laborers that clean and cook in schools (at less than 3% infected). 

So, at the very worst case scenario, 97% of people who work in educational spaces that taught children under the age of 18 were uninfected. Keep in mind that “infected” in this case means that they were carrying the virus, but weren’t necessarily a vampire. That percentage was less than 1%. And those few cases were all night janitors who never actually came into contact with students. 

But, that was all it took to get parents up in arms. And understandably so, considering the alternative possibility that someone might end up taking a bite out of your child while they learn the alphabet. 

The “vamp ban” as it was termed tried to encompass college campuses as well. But, there is way too much money that goes into have college students around. And private institutions fought against letting the government make that decision for them. All the lobbying and city hall shout fests are what led to things like the testing they are doing on campus here. 

The vote will take place next Tuesday. So, however you feel about vamps existing, get into the ears of your representatives, and let them know exactly how you feel. 

Other updates: I got my results back from the nurse’s office. My results were exactly what you would expect. They came with a strong recommendation that this school may not be the best one for me. But, so far, they can’t legally expel me. It doesn’t matter anyway. I already made the moves I needed to make to ensure that I won’t have to still be there come next fall semester. 

So, fuck this school.

Lastly, I keep getting all these random threats, and all I can say to y’all is this: the more lives I save by speaking about our issues, the better I feel. And you can shove an entire bag of dicks right down your throat. I literally don’t care what you have to say about anything I do.

Ok, so that is it for today. 

I love you all endlessly. Please stay moisturized and hydrated. 

Look out for one another,

Love Tique.

[homestuckisautistic]

Thoughts on the new Friendsim

I want to preface this with a gore warning for the end of Nihkee’s route. If you choose to hesitate instead of accepting her training you’ll end up viewing a series of flashbacks to the old friendsims as well as an image of Nihkee’s mangled leg with bone sticking out. Be careful!

I’ll talk about Daraya first.

Firstly, I think it’s really interesting that they’ve confirmed that the jades aren’t this close-knit group of friends like we’ve all assumed. The fandom in general up until now has assumed that and depicted the jades as super close buddies but Daraya’s route confirmed that wasn’t the case. She outright says that she hates Bronya and Lynera. I really hope that something will actually come of this and that it won’t just be forgotten about. 

I also want to note that at times Daraya really looks like Gwen from Total Drama Island at times (they’re both goth but that’s about all they have in common), and that I loved Chahut’s cameo because uhhhhh I’m lesbiab!

I really liked the conversation between Tyzias and Daraya, it functions as a parallel to actual leftist discourse that happens every day on this website and in real life too I guess. There are people who once they realize how shitty this world is become depressed and nihilistic and there are others who get pissed and try to change things. One is certainly more constructive than the other but neither is the right or wrong way to feel about society.  

I think these two worldviews also apply to the autistic community and the various way in which we interact with our own oppression in society. When I first self-diagnosed with autism I was 14 getting ready to turn 15 in spring 2015 and I was very eager to share my newfound knowledge about autism with the world (like identity first language and why functioning labels are bad etc.) so I went around talking to basically everyone I trusted about it. But as we all are well aware of here, talking to allistics about autism is like talking to a fucking brick wall. And this got very exhausting very quickly and when you put so much effort into trying to change things with no results you eventually get to the point where you just say fuck it and stop trying. This is what happened to me and honestly I’ve actually regressed a bit since I first self-diagnosed in that I used to boldly flap my hands around my family and close friends but now I can’t because I’m too ashamed. I’m too ashamed to flap my hands around my best friend of 11 years who has known me and loved me and accepted me before I even fucking knew how to pass as allistic which is uh a big problem and it’s one that I’m working on. 

It’s also kind of dangerous to talk to allistics especially NTs about autism because you never know how they’re going to react. Sometimes it’s safer and wiser to just let that asshole who sits next to you in 4th period to keep using autism as an insult because there’s no way for you to educate him without outing yourself or him suspecting that you’re autistic because you’re awkward and don’t have any friends in this class and risk him starting to bully you vs. keeping yourself safe and trying to ignore this guy who you won’t ever see again after you graduate in a few months. In other words, to quote an old country song: “You've got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run”

And it fucking breaks my heart that this is a choice we have to make on this bitch of an earth because nobody should ever have to ask themselves “is it worth it to risk abuse/bullying if arguing with someone for a few minutes will ensure that they have a change of heart years down the road?” because no matter what choice you make you lose.

Daraya strikes me as autistic with a special interest in...idk how to phrase this...rebellion? Societal power dynamics? Idk but if you’ve played through her route then you know what I mean I’m sure. Daraya is also obviously depressed and suicidal, and unfortunately I get the sense that she doesn’t get much support from the other jades which doesn’t help. It’s heavily implied that she just lets herself burn to death in the fire at the mall, which is one hell of a way to die. Ask anyone who’s survived a fire and they’ll tell you that burning is on a whole other level pain wise. Heck, if asked then I’d say that a cigarette burn is among the worst pains I’ve felt in my life. I hope that Daraya gets help somehow. It really broke my heart when she asked if she could go to Earth with the reader.

Onto Nihkee

Nihkee’s route was a fucking wild ride. And I loved it.

This is minor but I really liked those horse statues in the background. The indigo caste almost has this ancient Greece/Rome (idk I’m into American history not European history and my world history class was 4 years ago) theme to their culture which I find interesting and I think it really works, aesthetically speaking. I also really like that they made Nihkee explicitly buff and didn’t sexualize her at all. Not that I think Hiveswap is the type of media that would do that but even Zarya from Overwatch, which is a game that tries to be progressive, has fucking boob divots in her “armor” which is not practical at all!

Nihkee seems autistic to me too (come on, who the fuck would be that enthusiastic about something if not for it being an autistic person’s Special interest) she’s really into wrestling and being buff, and even though I haven’t ran any significant distance since my freshman year of high school, I’m fucking here for it! Yeah I don’t have much serious analysis to talk about here because Nihkee’s route just was more lighthearted except for that one ending with the gore. I really liked Tyzias and Stelsa’s appearance though, I’m always happy to see them! I really want to see more of Nihkee because her character is so ripe for situational comedy imo. A conversation between her and literally anyone else would be fucking hilarious. 

Also in the background at the beginning of Nihkee’s route there’s two trolls wrestling in the cage and we later find out one’s a purple blood (which was obvious because, I mean come on look at his face) and that the other one is an olive blood that uses she/her pronouns but the thing is that she appears to be shirtless? Damn, tiddies really are just out for Nihkee I guess. 

I think it was a wise decision to pair Daraya’s somber and serious route with one that was more lighthearted like Nihkee’s.

I also want to stage why I didn’t make a post about Fozzer and Marvus’ friendsim. It’s no secret that I’m biased towards the girls and that mindfuck at the end of Fozzer’s route just didn’t appeal to me analysis wise and Marvus’ route was like 40 minutes long on YouTube but I bit the bullet and watched a few minutes and at the first mention of concert diapers I noped on out of there.

- Mod Jessica 

[pennywaltzy]

Old Books & New Flames (13/18)

And here’s the last of the old stuff! I’ll probably start posting the new stuff tomorrow (unless by some miracle I get a hotel room so I can rest my poor back on a bed). In this chapter, it’s decided the shop may not be the best place for Molly to hole up...

Old Books & New Flames - When Sebastian Moran asks local bookstore owner Molly Hooper for a job, all he wants is a second chance to live the life he should have been living before prison. What Molly gets is more than a loyal employee and good friend. What she ends up with is what she had always wanted her entire life: happiness.

READ CHAPTER 1 | READ CHAPTER 13 | HELP ME SURVIVE? | COMMISSION ME? | BUY ME A KOFI? | MY PATREON

She went to sleep that night slightly troubled that Moriarty would try something to her home even though she knew that he had to know she was staying at the shop. That seemed even worse now that it was so apparent he was going to cause trouble; while he couldn’t evict her he could cause all sorts of problems and ruin her financially, and until the online store went live, that could put her in a terribly precarious position.

Poor Seb probably didn’t get any sleep, she thought to herself when she woke up to an empty bed and smelled coffee downstairs. But then she heard the murmur of familiar voices and got dressed quickly before heading downstairs. Munching on the daily delivery from the bakery was Seb, Greg, and John, and she could hear Sally and Mary out in the shop proper. How long had she slept? “What time is it?” she asked the assorted men.

“Half past ten,” Seb said. “You weren’t sleeping well so I went and got Sally to open to let you get a little more rest. Mary came in with her and John and Greg came in after I said we should all talk.” It was then she realized Seb was holding Rosie in his arms. He passed the little girl to Molly after a moment and Molly set her cheek on Rosie’s blonde curls.

“We were thinking maybe this isn’t the best arrangement,” Greg said. “Now that we know it’s Moriarty behind the poor frame-up job and the thefts and likely behind the damage to your car, we think you should go back home.”

“What?” she asked, surprised.

“It does more sense for him to do something to the shop, so you’re going to take some time off for a bit,” John said. “Go home and work on the online shop. Greg or Charlie or I will stay upstairs every night, and Amelia’s said she’ll pitch in to help Sally and Mary run the place.”

“But…” Molly began.

“If you’re worried about the temptation, I can handle myself,” Seb said. “Or we can have Greg keep everything separate at the pub, but honestly, I don’t ever want a drink again. I should be fine.”

“Are you all sure?”

“Molly, he trashed your car and tried to set Seb up for vehicular damage to other people’s cars. We want you safe and sound, and it’s best if we handle keeping the shop safe while you and Seb hold down the fort at your house,” Greg said. “And we’ll have some of the villagers run by and check at times, both here and there, to make sure nothing’s going wrong outside.”

“I just don’t want your lives any more uprooted,” Molly said.

“Well, if you’ll watch Rosie for a bit I can write here just as well as your or my home,” John said with a grin. “And it’s been years, but I can run a till just as well as my wife.” Molly raised an eyebrow and John chuckled. “Well, I have a charming personality, at least.”

“Thank you,” she said, going over to John and hugging him with one arm while transferring Rosie back to him. “Won’t take long to really childproof the place so we’ll take Rosie tomorrow.”

“That works,” John said with a nod. “I already started while I was there so there isn’t much more to do. But take a day with just the two of you and we’ll be fine here. But don’t be surprised if my wife makes the upstairs part more of a home for you by the time you move back in, Seb.”

Seb nodded. “I’ll get my things in the bag Greg bought and we can walk to your home and settle in for the rest of the day,” he said to Molly.

“Do you want the stuff you’re planning on selling online brought over?” Greg asked Molly.

“No need. I have the inventory list on the laptop, as well as what the competitive prices to sell them are. I’m still working on the behind the scenes portion of the website, though, so it will be some time before I even need to add the inventory to it.” She reached over and took a cruller. “But they’re safer here than at my home, I think.”

“I think so too,” John said. “Maybe I can swing by and pick up what you’ve got at your home and bring it here in a few hours?”

“That would be good,” Molly said with a nod. “Thank you.” She took her food and went upstairs to gather everything, feeling a sense of relief, and a bit of trepidation. She hadn’t expected to have Seb at her home just yet, and not after someone else had been staying there for a few days, but there was no point in arguing with the plan. It was a sound one, and they all had a point; it was her that Moriarty was obsessed with, and the shop was the livelihood of three families. Keeping it safe was just as important as keeping her safe, and it was easier to do that if she was home. Hopefully, it would be just fine and this case of nerves was just a small bump in the road.

[imnoexpertblog]

Here's some stuff to do and listen to.

7/20/18

Are you ready to receive some suggestions to entertain your fine selves? ‘Cause I’m ready to give it.

For those who are local: My dad and brother run NYFO together for Green Bay. What’s NYFO? WELL. “NYFO 7on7 Football is the next generation of player development, no matter your skill set. NYFO is the NATIONAL GOVERNING BODY for 7on7 & Non-contact Football. Our leagues, camps, and training exist to ultimately transition better, safer, and more fundamentally sound knowledgeable players. NYFO is committed to helping every player in our program improve no matter their skill level. By doing so we will ultimately enhance the sport of football, from youth organizations through the NFL. NYFO is ‘Non-Contact’ For parents, ‘non-contact’ can be translated into ‘one-hand touch.’ Without the distraction of full-contact, players can focus on fundamentals. With so much negative media attention given to concussions and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), 7on7 offers parents a safer alternative for kids wanting to play football.” Quick additional info: They offer programs for age groups 8U, 10U, 13U, 15U, and 18U. Go to their website if you’re interested in signing your kids up! Okay but anyway, if you need something to do this Friday you should go to a Bullfrogs baseball game! Bullfrogs “Stars Of Tomorrow” fundraiser family & friend tickets are $18 and include your ticket (duh), a Bullfrogs hat, a hot dog, AND a soda! A damn steal if you ask me. It helps out NYFO and you’ll have something fun to do! All registered players from NYFO get in free with and a portion of the proceeds from family/friends tickets sales going to the NYFO by simply using code “NYFO7on7” at the point of purchase. Go to greenbaybullfrogs.com, click Buy Tickets Now in the top right corner, and enter the promo code (NYFO7on7). Gates open at 6:05pm and the game is at 7:05pm!  See you at the diamond on July 20th! Give them a follow on Instagram! @greenbay.nyfo

I never really blog about music for how passionate I am about it. I have mentioned before that I sing, too. I’d love music even if I couldn’t sing though. Anyway, everyone loves finding new music, right? I’m gonna tell you my most listened to artists and songs on my Spotify. First, I’ll tell you how I found this data. I found this question forum on this link: https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-way-to-see-my-most-played-artists-songs-in-Spotify. You’ll see in the answer that there’s Spotify.Me or there’s ManageMyMusic to see your most listened to stuff. Spotify.Me is intricate and gives you information like your favorites, streaming habits, and listening insights. Apparently, what I listen to the most is considered to be a bunch of different types of “pop.” I don’t know if I agree with that. They also tell me that “I know what I want” because 84% of my favorite artists are within my most-listened to genre. That I can agree with. It says I’m high energy lately in my streaming choices, but I don’t see it. I have been choosing really chill music, in my opinion. The other link in that question/answer forum is called ManageMyMusic and it gives you a ton of lists; Top artists and tracks for the “Short Term (4 weeks),” the “Medium Term (6 months),” and for the “Long Term (Years).” I’ll give you my top ten for each category, though I know there will be overlapping. I obviously love everything I am about to include so please give this stuff a listen. You’re about to get an intimate peek at my soul.

Top artists -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jon Bellion

Drake

Milky Chance

Hozier

Andrew Belle

Bazzi

Aaron Carter

Roy Woods

dvsn

Troy Sivan

I didn’t realize that I listened to that much Jon Bellion lately. I mean, he is fantastic. I just didn’t realize I listened to so much of him in the last month.

Top artists -- Medium Term (6 months)

Drake

Blackbear

Tory Lanez

Marc E. Bassy

Jon Bellion

Bazzi

Post Malone

Hozier

Aaron Carter

Sam Smith

I can say for DAMN SURE that Baby has heavily influenced who I listened to these past 6 months. Drake has always been my man but I never listened to Blackbear, Tory Lanez, or Marc E. Bassy before I met him.

Top artists -- Long Term (years)

Drake

Sam Smith

Troye Sivan

Andrew Belle

Justin Bieber

Jon Bellion

The Weeknd

Jessie Ware

Hozier

Tove Lo

None of that even remotely surprises me.

Top tracks -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jessie Ware, You & I (Forever)

Hozier, Jackie and Wilson

Sabrina Claudio, Orion's Belt

Jon Bellion, Overwhelming

Jon Bellion, 2 Rocking Chairs

Vance Joy, Mess Is Mine

The 1975, Somebody Else

Jon Bellion, The Good In Me

JAHKOY, Still In Love

Young the Giant, Cough Syrup

This is all very "me" lately.

Top tracks -- Medium Term (6 months)

Alina Baraz, Show Me

6LACK, Learn Ya

Tory Lanez, I Sip

Blackbear, moodz (feat. 24hrs)

Marc E. Bassy, 4am

Tory Lanez, Skrt Skrt

Ansel Elgort, Supernova

Bazzi, Mine

Post Malone, Psycho (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

R I T U A L, Better By Now

This list is definitely Baby-approved.

Top tracks -- Long Term (years)

Justin Bieber, The Feeling

Troye Sivan, WILD

ZAYN, PILLOWTALK

Snakehips, All My Friends

Tatiana Manaois, Helplessly

Bryson Tiller, Don't

Chris Stapleton, Tennessee Whiskey

Sam Smith, Not In That Way

Hozier, Work Song

A R I Z O N A, Let Me Touch Your Fire

Honestly, the first 5 tracks do surprise me a little, but that was back when I had my music on constantly when I was single and home alone quite often. I remember keeping those on repeat for hours at times, so I’m not sure how accurate that actually is only because of that fact. This was all super cool to see, though. Some of it was expected, some unexpected. Either way, I hope I gave you some new stuff to listen to! And you should check out for own profiles. Nice opportunity to learn a little about yourself.

This past weekend, it was pretty warm out. Baby and I wanted to get Nugget a sprinkler so I took the little one with me to the store aaaaand they were sold out. Due to all the warmth. So I bought Nugget some water guns instead. We got 2 smaller ones and 2 larger ones for THIRTEEN DOLLARS, TOTAL. YEAH. This s’mom was shocked by that price, that’s for sure. We played and sprayed when we got home. Baby and Nugget had some fun together. The first thing Nugget did when we filled his gun though was spray me right in the (get ready) vagina. Yes. Then he yells, “I’M SPRAYING YOU IN THE PARTS.” I was like, “Uhhhhh, let’s not spray anyone’s parts and also let’s talk about anyone’s parts. It’s not polite and those are private” LOL. He’s never said anything to me about private parts or anything so that was new to me. He walks into my room when I’m changing a fair amount of the time and I know for a fact he’s seen more than I meant him to, but he has never asked questions, pointed anything out, etc. I think it’s important to set an example for your children in the sense to be comfortable with their bodies and such. This might be a whole new chapter with Nugget! We will see. Enough about my “parts” and back to the water guns. Baby said that on one of the weeks that we don’t have Nugget, that he wants to do a water gun race with me. I got 2 free beach balls from Sprint when I got a new phone last week (among a ton of other free shit, which I'll tell y'all about soon) and Baby said we should see whoever can get the beach ball across our backyard the fastest by spraying them with the water guns. I honestly think that sounds more fun than any idea I've ever had LOL. It reminds me of when I almost bought us both Nerf guns. So, if things are little mundane (or even if they’re not) maybe you and your love should find your inner children together! Get water-balloons and have a water-balloon fight, chalk up your driveway, set up obstacle courses, have a scavenger hunt! You can make it interesting by making fun deals. Whoever loses has to make dinner, for example. I think we will try all of these ideas eventually.

Speaking of shopping with Nugget, I am in the process of teaching him about not asking for toys every time we go. Baby went through a break up after a 3 year relationship before we was with me. He told me that he felt awful that Nugget no longer had two people raising him and Baby made up for that by buying Nugget toys every time they went to the store. I could tell there was a reason why Nugget would ask like clockwork what toy he would get every time we went shopping. I have been working on breaking Nugget of that expectation, as well as working on having him appreciate the things he has at home. I explain to him Daddy and I only have a certain amount of dollars and that its usually only enough to buy what we needed from the store in the first place. He actually understands this concept very well. He always asks why we are going to the store, so I always have the opportunity to tell him what we need to buy. When we went to buy the sprinkler he asked me, "Can we get a toy from here?" and I replied with, "Buddy, remember what we came here for?" He answered correctly about buying a sprinkler. I said in a very positive tone, "Yep and I'm pretty sure we only have enough dollars for a sprinkler. And you also have a bunch of toys at home that you love to play with." We walked by a few things that piqued his interest. As we walked by some bubble-guns, he goes, "Oooh, those look fun. But we only have dollars to get the sprinkler." I was so proud of him for making this connection and also proud of myself for explaining it to him so that he really does understand this. I was raised by people who didn't explain things. It was always a "because I said so" type of world and I learned to accept it. I won't put Nugget in that world, though. I want him to recognize reasoning and be able to grasp why things are the way they are. He is incredibly intelligent and capable of knowing this information. I also want him to trust me and be honest with me as we grow together, so the first step is me trusting him and being honest with him first. Just wanted to share my super proud s'mom moment of the week. I'll be back tomorrow with new recipes for you!

[fangirlinginleatherboots]

hey i hope this isnt a bother or anythin but do u know of like an active place 4 alters thats p safe? like a website or a discord or somethin bc my host doesnt have many friends like us n i feel weird talkin in his chats a lot but im starting to get lonely. thank u n have a good day n i hope that everythin goes super smoothly n stress free 💜

I’ve said this before but I feel pretty strongly about it so I’ll repeat myself.

I absolutely do NOT recommend discords, group chats, or any sort of online gathering space where the focus is DID. (by that I mean, it’s fine to talk about DID, or have a place to talk about and share experiences but that should not be your primary social hub. sharing resources and experiences is one thing, talking to people Only Because They Also Have DID is another) 

It ends up putting you in a position where you may have to support people with things you yourself are not capable of helping with, causes you to question your own symptoms and presentation as you compare yourself to others, and generally will have an air of distrust regarding people outside of your group or other people in the community. Even when I had fun in DID chats, there was hostility, doubt, and distrust either within the group or to outsiders (ESPECIALLY outsiders). The group was bound by common traumas and dysfunctional habits which only fed off of each other. 

Make friends based on your INTERESTS and BELIEFS and in those spaces, find others like you, not the other way around. Any group chat that is focused around something you Are vs something you Care About is going to eat at your identity as you compare yourself to others with the same identity. You are more than an alter, you have likes and dislikes and feelings. Focus on those, I promise better friendships come from that.

I understand the desire to meet and befriend other systems. I really do. I’ve been there. But honestly it’s much safer to just talk openly to the community while also blogging about your interests and let people who relate to you find you that way. Several alters here have their own blogs where they talk about things they like or dislike and if they want to talk to people, theyll talk through those accounts. Being an alter doesn’t factor into it and it’s just a space they can be themselves without having the world focus on the DID of it all.