#honestly every rise playlist just get on my nerves because like

[liquidjapanesetit]

Got tired of getting mad at rise donatello playlists on spotify so i made my own be the change you want to see in the world

[lavendertales]

Hey! Not too sure if you are taking requests atm but if you are, would you be able to write one with Javier x reader where they work together but don’t get along at all and one day they get into a massive argument and have really rough sex on one of the office desks with lots of dirty talk, choking etc etc thank you!! Xx

OH we are going to sin city today 👀 

Lay It On Me (part 1)—Javier Peña x f!reader**

word count: 2.9k

WARNINGS: rough office sex, choking, some spanking, some dirty talk, unprotected sex, doggy style, orgasm denial, dom!Javi, oral sex (both f & m receiving)

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

A/N: I would like to formally apologize for the pure filth that is this. But not so much because aren't we all hoes for rough Javi? I actually have an idea for a longer term fic for this, so bless your heart anonie! 💕 If you guys want a part 2 (and more) let me know! Anyway, please enjoy 😏

gif: @nathan-bateman 

series masterlist | AO3 | playlist

His blood was boiling in his veins. He couldn't even bear to look at you.

That's how furious he was.

Ever since you joined the team months ago, it seemed that you were on a dutiful quest to get on Javier's nerves, down to the very last one. More often than not, you were paired with him, Steve Murphy and Colonel Horacio Carrillo for miscellaneous missions. Though you were incredibly competent and skilled on the field, you also possessed a special gift to get Javier beyond angry.

It was the way you always contradicted him and disagreed with him on almost every single thing, from the smallest details up to important job details, and truthfully, it was a miracle either one of you made it that far into your partnership without choking the shit out of each other.

Not that Javier would've been truly opposed to that possibility.

You were a massive challenge, an even bigger headache, and sometimes, the dark and primal instinct in the back of Javier's mind was certainly enjoying the power play you two had going on. That was the core issue, though. You and Javier were too much alike. Both stubborn, angry at the world and certified alphas.

But that day, already having been long and exhausting, when Javier left downtown to discuss the plan for the upcoming stakeout one last time, stakeout which he had thoroughly planned for the past couple of weeks and he found that it had been canceled without prior notice, he saw red.

And he knew exactly who the culprit was.

It was around midnight when he found you back at the office, looking through a stack of papers.

"Peña," you greeted him carelessly, eyes locked on the folders on your desk. "I thought by this hour you'd be in one of your sleazy bars. Or fucking all the common sense and self-esteem out of a poor girl who just wants to make a dime."

"That's none of your fucking business."

The sharp response gained your attention. You observed him intently, and when you were met with his flaming gaze, you realized he was beyond mad.

"What I do in my spare time is nobody's fucking business," he muttered, losing contact with reality as he dared to lock eyes with you.

"Then do a better job at hiding it."

He sucked his cheeks in, anger only rising more, building inside his chest, roaring like a hungry lion.

"Who gave you permission to cancel my stakeout?"

"I did. I gave myself permission."

"And why is that?"

"Because I spoke with Messina and Carrillo and there was no need for a stakeout. We got enough information on Quica."

"Half of which I got."

You licked your bottom lip, smirking disapprovingly at him. You had anticipated that response from him, honestly, and it came as no surprise to see him react that way.

You abandoned the papers and moved inches closer to him. "Well, I am not one of your whores who can give out important information in exchange for an orgasm. I work faster. And cleaner, at that."

"I've spent two weeks planning everything for this fucking stakeout, and you dare march in Messina's office, behind my back, to call it off?"

"Why don't you say what this is really about? You not being able to stand me."

"You're right. I can't stand you. You make my fucking blood boil."

"The feeling is mutual. I'm glad we can agree at least on one thing."

Silence. The two of you shared a look so dark, so willing for more than just words that it would've scared you if this would've been a confrontation with someone else.

"But even with that in mind," you continued, daring to approach him even more, fully knowing you were entering a risky territory, "what the fuck is your problem? If this would've been Murphy's stakeout, he wouldn't have been so sensitive. Hell, he would've even thanked me, probably."

"Oh, you want thanks? Thank you for making me waste hours, days on end planning everything for this fucking stakeout!"

You narrowed your eyes, reckoning his emotions were no longer just out of a mad place.

No. There was much more in between.

“Eres tan jodidamente molesto, lo juro,” he suddenly blurted out. “Es como si vivieras en mi cabeza por lo mucho que me molestas.”

You’re so fucking annoying, I swear. It’s like you live in my head because of how much you annoy me.

“Te das cuenta de que hablo un español perfecto, ¿no?”

You do realize that I speak perfect Spanish, right?

Obviously, he was unaware that your level of Spanish was far more advanced than he ever thought, so he hesitated, slightly taken aback.

“What the fuck is your problem, Peña?! You’ve been riding my ass the entire time that I’ve been here!”

“Believe me, you would’ve known if I were to do that.”

You couldn't help but chuckle. Involuntary, reflexive, but a real chuckle. “Oh, that is rich. That is… just… rich. You’re gonna play the fucking macho card? Really?”

“Really,” he muttered in between clenched teeth.

“Because you’re that good.”

“Because I am that fucking good.”

“Sleeping with whores is not a personality trait.”

Javier frowned, biting the inside of his cheeks again. It was too difficult to maintain a proper conversation with you. The rage, the quiet and yet deadly desire to overpower you were too consuming, too much in the back of his mind.

“Do you know when to shut up?” he asked you, in your much-too-close proximity now.

“Do you?”

“For fuck’s sake—”

“Listen to me well, Peña. I am not one of your little friends who needs a decent amount of money and then you can rail me however you want. I am someone who works very hard and has to fight three times as much as any other person here simply because I am a woman in the fucking DEA. Don’t push me.”

“Or what?”

You were at a crossroads. The natural, most obvious choice was simple: leave the office. It was midnight, with no one else there but you and him, and you did not need that aggravation. You did not need that headache.

But this was Javier fucking Peña. Your partner and nemesis at the same time, your unresolved mystery and your highest of curiosities. The man was impeccable on the field of work, but his reputation spoke volumes: he was an insatiable womanizer, a woman pleaser with no intention of ever staying. To top it all off in the worst possible way, he was, indeed, ridiculously attractive and tempting.

And you were not keen on commitment for the time being anyway.

So you've forsaken the obvious, natural choice for something with more flavor.

“How many of your pretty little ladies have you managed to successfully satisfy?”

The question threw him off guard; it was readable from his wide eyes and slight frown. But he answered nonetheless, “Each and every one of them.”

You raised an eyebrow. “So what are we gonna do about this problem, Peña, hm?”

Only one thing came to Javier’s mind, and you were certain it was the same answer you had because the next second, his mouth smashed against yours.

There was nothing sweet or tender about the kiss. It was pure neediness; of course he opted for sex. It was his medicine. His predicament for every time something went poorly or bad in his life. Being inside of someone was what he craved the most aside cigarettes or a burning shot of whiskey, and since he had neither of the prior two, he chose you.

And you let him.

You let him slide his filthy tongue inside your mouth, you let his large hands grab the hem of your shirt and desperately tug on it, ripping it carelessly. You were pushed against the desk, your legs open wider with each breath he took into the kiss, allowing him more access to your body.

He was getting impatient, as were you; his erection poked through his jeans already and upon feeling the tip of it, you shivered, helping him remove his own shirt.

“Turn the fuck around,” he said.

You did as you were told for what felt like a premiere in your partnership, and Javier’s hands bent you over the desk completely. There was a momentary lack of touch or sound which made you think about what was about to happen, but seconds later, when you felt his tongue licking harshly against your folds, you grabbed onto the desk for dear life, mouth ajar at the swift contact. His motions were fast and decisive, filling your body with an explosive sensation of indigence.

You wanted to feel even more of him, to move against him, to rub yourself on his face, but he allowed for no such thing: his hands were tightly gripped on your hips, immobilizing you on the piece of furniture as he mercilessly ate you out.

“Look at how fucking wet you are,” he said from somewhere in between your legs.

You barely registered what he said. The trance you were stuck into prevented you from doing so, and honestly, it felt so maddeningly good that you weren't even angry or upset anymore. If anything, you were glad. It had been a long time since you even thought about sexual encounters. Work had taken control over your life, and when you weren't working, you were either drinking or sleeping.

“So fucking wet,” Javier muttered again as if in awe. “Preaching about integrity when you were this wet just talking to me.”

“Shut—the f-fuck up, Peña.”

God, his mouth was one of the world’s wonders, or at least it should have been. You wanted to yell and plead for more, but you bit your tongue and did no such thing. You weren't about to beg for anything from Javier Peña or else you would never heard the end of it.

He added a finger to his torture, stretching you out, reaching for that spot inside of you which nearly made your eyes go back into the back of your head. No one ever dared be that bold with you, reaching for spots that would make you cum just by thinking about them, but there he was, doing just that.

You grunted, wanting him to pay attention to your warning, but he pressed your head onto the desk, gently, and abandoned your pussy in order to come next to your earlobe and whisper shamelessly, “You’re not gonna cum unless I want you to.”

“Fuck you.”

“Not tonight you won’t, cariño.”

You had to admit, a twisted part of you enjoyed the talk more than you would’ve ever let yourself believe. It was fucking orgasmic how high his words and his voice managed to send you, especially given the pet name he chose to address you by.

The absence of his lips on your soaked folds was replaced moments later with his cock, hard and thickened with desire, and he established a fast pace right from the start. He grunted endlessly, your warmth and tight feeling creating a cocktail of ecstasy and pleasure that he swore he'd never felt before. You bit your lower lip to the point where you tasted blood in your mouth, but you didn't give a shit. You were not about to beg Javier for anything, much less then.

“Where’s—your smart m-mouth now, agent?” he groaned.

“I—I still—have it—“

His right hand snaked up your spine all the way up to your neck, grabbing it as he thrust from behind, fast and hungrily. His other hand was on your hip, grip tight and secure, preventing you from moving whilst pulling you by the ass to meet his cock, reaching deeper and deeper inside of you. You choked on air as well just as his fingers were holding over your throat, causing your body to convulse and bend you at his will.

“Fuck—fuck—P-Peña—“

You couldn't finish your sentence. Even he barely recognized himself in that scenario, but he needed to cum badly, and his entire body burned and ached with your presence. He wouldn’t have thought he lived to see the day where he would be pounding into you, but there he was, at your desk, at your mercy—even if you didn't know it.

“That’s right—take it—take me in—take it, that’s right—look at you, so needy—fuck, you look so good—bent over like this,” he muttered. “Bent over—f-for me—“

“Y-Yes—oh, shit—“

“You take me in s-so—good, look at you—fucking shit—“

You could only moan, the impending feeling of your orgasm creeping up over you.

“You’re taking—all of me in—“

Javier watched mesmerized as his cock disappeared in and out of you as he continuously pounded into you. He decided in the heat of the moment to remove the grip he has over your hip and focus on your ass instead, giving it a few slaps, smirking when the flesh reddened.

“That’s right—now you’re a—a good fucking girl—“

You didn't even want to protest anymore; all you wanted to do was cum, but you remembered Javier’s previous words and you shivered once again. When you did so, he stopped, burying himself deeper – if possible – into you as he bent over your body to whisper in your ear, “Did you just cum?”

“No, you—asshole.”

“If you cum, I’ll start all over again.”

“Just let me cum, you annoying piece of shit!”

Javier loved it. He loved every minute of it. He loved the power play, the disobedience you had, your stubbornness, how wet and willing you were for him, all of it.

He started to thrust into you again, this time his grip focusing on your hair. He pulled you into a delicious curve closer to him, making sure at the same time that he was not hurting you too much, and finally came, cursing under his breath as he did so, stopping every now and then to feel everything, to feel you, to feel himself coming in between your tight walls, to hear every sound you make.

Javier moved slower, deeper still, resisting the urge to pepper a trail of kisses along your back. It felt awfully tempting, but he couldn't do it. This was nothing but an office hookup.

There was nothing more he could offer.

When he felt like he had total and upmost control over you and over his own emotions, he increased his pace once again, desperately seeking to feel you cum around his cock.

“Come on—“he encouraged you. “Come on, cariño—“

“F-Fuck—yes—“

“Take it, cariño—take it and—fucking cum for me—right there, yes—“

Almost on command, your insides burned at the sound of his demanding and coercive voice and you came at last, your walls tightening around him, legs shaking under his weight and mind fogged with pleasure. He loved knowing he could make you cum, whether through anger or pushing your buttons, he loves it. He loved how you felt, how your ass bounced against his cock, how well you took him in and how turned on you were by your earlier confrontation.

It was just an office hookup.

He had nothing more to offer.

He pulled out of you at last, gasping as he looked at his semi-hard cock. When you turned around, face up, your breaths were ragged, your face sweaty and your body aching. But not in the bad way. By no means.

“Seems you still got a bit of a problem there,” you said short of breath.

Javier glanced down and before he could protest or say anything, he watched in shock as you wrapped your mouth around his cock, eyes glued to his all the while. You used a hand to stroke the base and the rest you simply teased with your tongue, licking and taking it inch by inch, causing Javier to throw his head back and lose his goddamn mind over it.

He’d been sucked and jerked off before, but it was something bewitching and devilish in the way you did it. Maybe it was because he knew you hated him and he hated you, who was to say.

He fought off the urge to see you gag and reach the depths of your throat, but of course you went ahead and played the devil’s advocate, stopping just when he felt that burn in his groin and he grunted “Fuck” on a loop.

“What the fuck??” he snapped at you.

You shrugged. “I didn’t want you to cum unless I said so.”

Shocked but pleasantly surprised by how fucking well you played your cards, Javier chuckled, smirk evaporating in the blink of an eye. He refused to show anything more than what he had already showed you.

It was an office hookup.

He had nothing else to offer.

next

Permanent Pedro taglist:

@pedro-pastel @artsymaddie @doin-stuff @everyhowlmarksthedead @haloangel391 @tanyalooovesyou @boxdyeblonde @imcalledflorence @farfromjustordinary @gingerbreadandpaper @acourtofsnakes @dins-helmet 

[dclsbaby]

mykonos-crossed lovers (part iv) 🦋

🎶playlist for part iv

prologue

part i

part ii

part iii

Summary: When you drunkenly book a girls trip to a tropical Greek island to help mend your broken heart, you would never for a second think it will take you exactly to where he is. Him. A tale of the right person at the wrong time, an overused cliché made into plots of movies you never thought would live through in your reality. Two people, still madly in love with each other, hearts still broken, suppressed by the alcohol and distractions consumed on this trip. Will they let their egos get in the way, protect what’s left of their already broken hearts, or will let their hearts speak?

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: smut smut smutty smut this is dirty AF please read at your own discretion

Author’s Note: to all my lovely babies thank you so much for being so patient with me as I endure one of the toughest months of my life. the reason why it had taken me so long to write was because i had uni and my mental health was at an all time low, so thank you a thousand times over to those who’ve written me to check up on how i was doing, it truly means the world 😭 after completing part 4, i felt like dom and (y/n)’s love story isn’t over yet, so a sequel is definitely something I’m considering, let me know if you would like to see that! I hope you enjoy part 4, and thank you to everyone who’s written me so many lovely things about my very first fic. i love u i love u i love u 🤍🤍🤍 xxx

Gif:

***

***

***

“She said no mate. Get the fuck away from her,” Dom interjects. You look up to him with thankful eyes. “And who the hell are you? Her boyfriend?” the blonde responds. Brave, Dom thought. “Fuck off,” he steps in front of you, allowing you to hide behind his tall and strong figure. After all this time, protecting you is still an instinct he has yet to unlearn. “You’ve got two seconds to get out of my sight, or you will get hurt,” Dom sternly says, emphasising every syllable. “Fine! Chill out mate I’m gone,” the blonde quickly retreats.

You exhale a sigh of relief, feeling grateful for the man who has brought you comfort so many times in the past. “Hey, are you okay? I’m here, I’ve got you,” says Dom as he embraces you in a hug. He rests his chin on top of your head and holds your head with one hand, and wraps his other arm around your body. You were terrified of that creepy man, you were confused from the alcohol, the lack of control is sending you into a haywire, so you are glad to be in the presence of someone familiar. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” he repeats as he tries to calm your shaking body. “Thank you,” you say as you look up to him with teary eyes, with the palm of your hand on his chest, as you once again, break his heart all over again.

After a long embrace, you pull away, leaving him feeling empty.

“Let me take you home yeah?” asked Dom, and you nodded without much thought. You two make a quiet exit as he guides you out of the club, his hand on yours as you move past sweaty bodies, careful not to bump into anyone. Dom was a little drunk too, but he knew had to take care of you.

When you made it outside, you let go of his hand, a little too early for Dom’s liking. The affection, the touch were all too familiar to him, a crave he never thought he had until you let go. It was as if a simple touch had countered all efforts to move on.

You give him your address and he calls on a taxi for your two. He texts his friends as well as yours, letting them know what had happened and why it was best for you to call it a night.

Take care of her mate.

Thanks for letting us know, be safe on the way back. We’ve got her purse

***

The taxi didn’t take too long to come, and you quickly hopped into the car, followed by Dom, and gave your address. You sat by the window and leaned your head on the window screen, your fingers laced between each other as you rested them on your thighs. Dom wanted nothing more than to hold your hand, make you feel safe, to be your rock. That’s all he ever wanted in your relationship, be given the chance to be there for you. All the pent-up anger and frustration he had over you for breaking his heart dissipates. As much as it would have been a lot easier to move on with anger, he can no longer suppress his feelings for you.

Despite his desperation to hold you, he decided against holding your hand, and stayed within boundaries. He didn’t want to overwhelm you after the night you’ve had. You kept your eyes closed the entire ride back, occasionally opening your eyes to remind yourself of where you are. Dom notices this, and keenly listens to your soft breathing, and watches your chest rise.

Minutes later, you arrived back in your villa. “Hey,” he touches your arm softly. “We’re here,” he quietly says, careful not to surprise you. You slowly open your eyes, still feeling a bit delirious. It’s the same face you would make when he used to gently wake you up to say goodbye before he leaves for training, he thought.

“How long was the ride?” you ask, discombobulated, as you rub your eyes, smudging the last bit of mascara you have on. “Not long enough,” he mutters, wishing he had more time with you.

Still a bit tipsy, Dom helps you step off the taxi. You carefully place your foot down, cautious to not have your heel stuck between the concrete, and make your way towards your villa.

“You coming in then?” you ask as you turn to face Dom. “I wasn’t sure you wanted me to come in,” he replies as he stood by where the taxi was. “Don’t be silly. It’s late,” you said, gesturing to him to come in.

You took out the house card that you’ve thankfully kept in your pocket, otherwise you’d be locked out. As you step into the villa, you make your way to the wooden bench by the shoe rack to take off your strappy heels. After fumbling with the straps too much, you grew frustrated as you were just too drunk to figure out how to take them off.

“I’ll help you,” Dom says as he kneels in front of you to remove your painfully annoying heels. He gently grips the back of your calf with one hand, and carefully tug on the straps of your heels with his free hand. His touch sent goosebumps throughout your legs that you hoped he did not notice. “I’ve always liked these heels,” he comments. “Mmhm,” you gave him a smile, remembering all the times he’s taken those heels off you.

“Let’s get you some water eh,” he guides you to the kitchen. You follow Dom’s lead and plants yourself on the kitchen island. He asks you where the glasses are and takes two for you and him. “Thank you,” you look at him. “For taking me home.. and for getting rid of that guy,” you said. A reminder of the creepy man made him shudder, “Don’t mention it, please,” he says, a little too seriously, with two meanings. He did not want to be reminded of another man ever being close to you.

“I’m sorry again Dom, for everything—“ “—are you though?” he cuts you off, the last bit of alcohol in his system forcing him to speak his mind. “What?” you asked, a little taken aback. “Are you actually sorry?” Dom repeats himself. “Y-yes of course I am, how could you ask that?” you were surprised at his interruption.

“I don’t know, it seems everywhere I look, you’re there, and doing something that absolutely does my head in.” he says a little annoyed, and takes a sip of his water to calm his nerves. “Dom,” you sigh. “You know I didn’t leave you because I stopped loving you-“ “-Then why did you?!” his raised voice caught you off guard, almost slamming his glass on the counter.

“We have gone through this so many times! I’ve given you every reason I have to make this easier for the both of us!” you replied with frustration. Dom reacts with a surprised face, eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head. “The both of us? Nothing you’ve said has made it easier for me, so don’t ever try to speak on my behalf,” he says with offense.

You look away whilst shaking your head. “I honestly can’t do this right now Dom,” you place your hands on your hips. “I’m exhausted, totally worn out, this, us,” you point your index finger to yourself and him. “Seeing you on this trip, talking to you for the first time in months,” you sigh, “it’s all too fucking much,” you said exasperated. “I’m going to bed, there are plenty of guest bedrooms, feel free to find yourself one,” you say as you hop off the island.

“No,” Dom says, almost a demand. He pulls you back in front of him and pins you against the counter. “We are not done talking,” he lifts you and places you back onto the counter.

He is standing between your legs, with the palm of his hands on the island, palms planted next to either side of your thighs.

“I’m done fucking about, (Y/N),” he stares into your eyes. “You know how I feel about you. Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll leave you alone,” he breathes by your face. “Once and for all,” says Dom as he gives you an ultimatum you never expected.

Dom is breathing heavily, and you could see his chest rise with every breath he takes. The tension between you two was so strong, it could be cut with a knife. You stare into his eyes as you decide on what to say. Those green, almost hazel, beautiful eyes you miss waking up to every morning, eyes once sparkly and full of life now replaced with dark, lustful ones. His pink, flushed lips from the alcohol subtly quivering in anticipation of your response. You are left speechless by his ultimatum.

Against your better instincts, you take his face in your hands and desperately kiss his lips.

To your surprise he kisses you back, with so much passion that it’s borderline aggression, and wraps his arms around your waist. His desperate arms crawl itself from your waist to your back, then your neck, pushing the back of it so he could feel your lips better. The familiar warmth of his lips sends a thrill down your spine, a feeling you have missed for the longest time. He lets go of you for a second to grab your ass and pull your body closer to his, which you responded by wrapping your legs around his waist, lifting your skirt up in the process. You quickly unbutton the first two buttons of his shirt, eager to see more of him. Taking the hint, Dom rips his shirt open, buttons flying everywhere but that is that last thing on his mind right now.

He takes your face in his hands and presses his forehead against yours. “Tell me to stop and I will,” he says as he goes to plant kisses on your neck, down your shoulders and collarbones, pressing his lips against yours once again. “Tell me you want this as much as I do,” he breathes by your mouth. “Tell me you want me,” he asks from you. You sigh at the pleasure you didn’t think you’d ever feel again. You missed this. You missed him.

“I want you,” you hastily say to him, looking at his lips and then deep into his lustful yet loving eyes.

After your last syllable he kisses you again, more aggressively this time, and lifts your body up to pull your skirt off you. You help him unbutton his pants and feel butterflies in the pit of your stomach at the sight of him.

You and Dom move in sync, in the same rhythm, on the same wavelength. It was as if no time had gone by. The bond you have with him is one in a million and cannot be replicated with anyone else. A connection so deep it’s a blessing and a curse, with so much happiness can occur so much pain.

You desperately try to quench your thirst for one another by exploring each other's bodies, after what feels like a lifetime apart. Hands everywhere, limbs entangled, your face on his. He’s wanted this for so long. Dom has dreamt of what it would be like to be intertwined with you again. Though then it was a nightmare, as he would wake up to an empty bed. Even his subconscious wants you.

“Are you, you know?” you ask, hinting to an obvious question. “I haven’t been with anyone else,” he looks at you in the eye. You nod at him, saying “I believe you,” through your eyes, which he received. His admission got you more excited for what’s to come.

Dom pushes your bodysuit fabric to the side, and inserts a finger in you, causing you to gasp. You try to hide your muffled moans, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that early. “Wet for me already?” he smirks as he pumps himself. Unflattered by his comment, you decide to tease him a little.

“How about I go back to the club and find that blonde again?” you threaten him. “Nah, fuck that,” he says angrily, pushing himself inside you without warning. You let out a deep sigh as you roll your eyes at the pain and pleasure. “Holy shit,” you curse at his size, still needing to adjust to the fullness. “Tell me if I’m hurting you baby,” he whispers in your ear before planting a kiss on your neck. “Keep going,” you say as you wrap your arms around his neck for support.

He slowly pulls out and pushes back into you several times, before pulling out of you completely, leaving you frustrated at the cold emptiness. He quickly thrusts himself back inside you in a quick pace, his tip hitting your core in one go. “Fucking hell,” he whimpers.

He has never felt anything as good as you, your warmth, your tightness around him, nothing could ever replicate that. His pace quickens by the second, leaving you a moaning mess. “Look at me baby,” he growls, yearning to see your face as you’re pleasured by him. The sight of you looking up at him with your eyebrows furrowed, mouth shaped an ‘o’, your chest rising, the sounds of slapping skins nearly made him finish. But that man has the stamina of a machine, and has self-control like no other, except when it comes to you. It takes every inch of him to make this moment last.

Craving to see more of you, he pulls your bodysuit strap and yanks the fabric down, revealing your breasts. Dom has always been good with his hands, he knows how to fuck you, make out with you, and play with your breasts at the same time. Desperate to feel every inch of you, he lifts your leg and rests it on his shoulder and holds your waist to push you into him as he takes control of the rhythm.

“Oh, fuck!” you moan at the change of position as you feel him hit your spot with every beat. “You feel so good baby,” he whimpers in your ear, turning you on even more and pushing you towards a high. You two are a whimpering mess, bodies intertwined, hungry for each other. A strand of his curls hangs out of Dom’s tied hair, occasionally sticking on his glistening forehead.

“Fuck baby, I’m not going to last much longer,” he says as he cranes his neck down to look at himself thrusting in and out of you. “Me too,” you whimper out. Dom’s pace gets sloppy as he is losing control. “Baby I’m gonna cum,” he cries out. “I’m on the pill,” you said. His eyes widened. “So I can-” “-yeah,” you quickly replied. “Fuck, okay,” the thought of spilling himself in you pushed him to a climax. “Shit, baby!” he releases himself in you. You gasp as you feel his juices shoot into the walls of your core. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he repeats himself as he rests his forehead on your collarbone. “Cum for me baby,” he whispers in your ear as cum is still spilling in you. “I’m gonna—fuck!”, you moan and grip his biceps for support as you crane your neck back and roll your eyes and join his high. As you both catch your breaths, he rests his forehead on yours, planting a lasting kiss on your lips, then your forehead. You stay breathing on one another for a short while.

“Holy--fucking--shit, that was-” “I know”, you cut him off. Dom slowly pulls himself out of you, which made you jump at the sudden cold emptiness. He watches his cum ooze its way out of you and trail down your thighs. “Fuck me that’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen,” he says in awe. “Think I just did,” you joke, earning a chuckle from Dom. He has been wanting this for so long, to hold you, feel you, and have you in his arms again. You have been longing for a touch you have missed, an emptiness you have yearned to fill.

“I would never have thought I’d be taking you on the kitchen counter on this trip, considering the circumstances,” he smirked. You raise your eyebrows in confusion, signalling him to elaborate. “I mean I knew I’d be fucking you, but somewhere normal,” he laughs as he picks up your clothes and his off the floor.

“Are you saying that I’m easy?” you asked rather annoyed, crossing your arms at what he said. “No!”, he quickly says, afraid to be misunderstood. “I meant, I’m here, on this island because of you, I planned this trip for us,” he paused.

“Remember when I showed you our plans for the summer months ago? When we were, you know, still together?” he asked. You nodded, feeling slightly guilty. “Well, I booked it that same night,” he adds. “What do you mean?” you asked confused. “When we broke up, I tried to cancel the trip, but the travel agency wouldn’t give me a refund, so I brought the boys along and called it a lads trip instead,” he replied. “Oh, I, I didn’t know you had actually planned a trip for us,” you said, looking up at him with remorseful eyes. “I wanted to surprise you, you know. We’ve both never been, and I wanted to make it special for you,” he says, giving you a smile which you matched, apologetically.

“Look babe, I know this probably isn’t the right time to bring this up, considering I’ve just fucked you on the counter and it reeks of sex in here,” he says as you roll your eyes and chuckle at the innuendo. “But if tonight has taught me anything, if this entire, petrifyingly coincidental circumstance of seeing you in Mykonos has taught me anything, is that fate wants us to be together,” he pulls and kisses your hand. You pull his hand away to tug on his loose curly strand. “I don’t want to spend another second without you by my side, I am so madly in love with you,” he reveals and mimics you as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ears. “I don’t think I ever stopped,” he looked back into your eyes.

“Are you sure?” you ask, looking away. “You seemed like you hated me when you first saw me again,” you shrugged. Dom’s demeanour changed a little bit, looking almost guilty. “I never hated you, granted, I probably wanted to. It’s much easier to pretend than to face reality, you know?” he asks. You knew, of course you knew. You did the same thing. “But it’s impossible to forget you, I’ve tried everything, and I mean everything to get you out of my head. Some things I admit, I’m not proud of, but I’ve never felt pain like that before, I didn't know how to cope,” he confesses. You look at him once more before looking down on your hands.

“Baby,” he takes your hands in his, “will you come home with me?” he pleads. Your body jolts at his request. “I will give you all the space in the world if you ever need it, support you in every step of the way and will only help you if you ask me,” he cups your face with his hands. “Just please, give me the chance to be there for you. I’m not asking you to need me, but let me be there, please,” he places a hand on your cheek. “I love you,” he adds. Your heart bursts at his confession. You responded by planting a deep kiss on his lips. “I love you,” you said as you caressed his hand on your face. “I’ll come home.”

***

By dawn, you’re showered, cleansed from the events of last night, tucked in bed with the love of your life. A case of the “right person at the wrong time”, resolved, as Dom breathes down your neck, holding you close to him with his arms around you, occasionally pressing kisses to your neck. To him, the one that got away came back, the empty space he had been forced to get used to was replaced by your body pressed against his. Dom steals a smell of your sweet-scented hair, reminding himself that this is his reality, and he no longer has to pretend.

A tale of star-crossed lovers reunite on a blue night in Mykonos, on a tropical escape meant to erase every trace of one another in their hearts and minds, only to bring them back into each other's arms.

***

[acdeaky]

fluff alphabet

warning: fluff, brief mention of nudity, brief mention of sex

note: so i was hoping for TYMH II to be out tonight, but that’s not happening, so it’ll either be next week or the week after. i didn’t want to leave you with nothing this week, so, enjoy!

word count: 1.6k

A = attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

ben finds most things attractive about you, but he mainly loves your hands. the way they fit so perfectly into his own and the way they’re always avaible for him to grab, or kiss, or hold. no matter what, in any situation, ben will, at some point, reach out for your hand. it may be to calm his nerves, or to just know you’re there. regardless, he loves them.

B = baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

you can bet on your life that ben wants a family. this guy is a natural with children and can’t wait to have many with you. he’s thinking maybe five or six, but you want to stick with two or three. honestly, as long as he’s the father to your children, he doesn’t care how many you have. he wants a family with you and only you.

C = cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

ben is the biggest, cuddliest teddy bear ever; he loves to pull you close to him. whether you’re on the sofa, in bed, at an award show or on set, he likes to know that you’re pressed up against him. he either wraps his arms around your waist or shoulders, or you wrap your arms around his neck or waist. his favourite cuddling position is when you’re laid down, his arms wrapped around you and your head on his chest. it’s heaven to him.

D = dates (What are dates with them like?)

dates with ben are perfect. his favourite date is the two of you together, either laid out in your garden watching the stars (in summer), or laid on the sofa, the coal fire lit and netflix on the tv. of course, you have more formal dates, like dinner, premieres and award shows, but ben prefers to have you to himself.

E = everything (You are my __ (e.g my life, my world...)

you are ben’s treasure. he treasures ever moment with you and wishes for some days to never end. he believes everything happens for a reason and that’s why he treasures every second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year with you. you mean everything to ben; his hidden treasure in this nasty world.

F = feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

it was probably in the fourth month of you two being together. you were stood making dinner while ben was lounging on the sofa reading a new script when your favourite song came onto the playlist. your audible gasp caught ben’s attention and dragged him away from his reading. he sat for the full song watching you enjoy yourself and the music. that’s when he knew he was in love with you.

G = gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

ben is the most gentle person you’ve been with. even down to the way he touches you, he’s gentle. a gentle lover, a gentle holder, a gentle giver. he always touches you like you’re about to break, like a precious piece of china which he prizes above all.

H = holding hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

ben loves to have your fingers intertwined with his. he was never one for just holding your hand, he has to feel it. he has to feel your fingers against his, your palm and his. no matter where you are, he’ll find your hand and intertwine your fingers, pulling you closer and pressing a kiss to your head.

I = impression (First impression?)

for ben, it was definitely love at first sight. your bright smile caught his eyes as you laughed at a joke someone had said. the nonchalance of you stood at the bar entrapped him in a trance. his eyes lingered and all he could think was that he was staring at the most beautiful person in london, if not, the world.

J = joker (Are they into pulling pranks?)

you had named ben the king of pranks. they were only small (and only slightly scary sometimes) but they caught you out every single time. you would laugh about it afterwards, of course, but his humorous side was something you never wanted him to lose.

K = kiss (How do they kiss?)

ben kisses you like there’s no tomorrow. he puts so much feeling and passion into your kisses, even if they’re only a small peck. his soft lips feel heavenly on yours, especially after a long day of work. whenever he kissed you, he always had at least one hand on your cheek, keeping you in place near him for as long as possible.

L = love (Who said 'I love you' first?)

ben. his friends used to tease him about how blunt he had been in telling you and how stupid he was to let it slip like that, but you couldn’t have been happier. no matter how either of you had first said it, it was special. it was something you knew you would treasure together (even if he did say it drunkenly while naked in the shower which was not turned on).

M = memory (What's their favorite memory together?)

the first night you had spent together. it had been a long and loving date. ben treated you to dinner, a movie and a walk along he river thames before he took you back to his apartment and spent the entire night making love to you. god, the morning after was a treat, too.

N = no (What's their pet peeve?)

he can’t stand when you leave the shower mat on the floor. you know that it won’t dry down there, and he knows that you know this, but you can never make it a habit to pick it up.

O = orange (What color reminds them of their other half?)

pink. he remembers seeing a pink aura around you when he first saw you. the lighting was pink to, adding to the beautiful sight in front of him. pink also reminded him of your lips and the colour of your cheeks when ben first spoke to you. you were pink in his eyes.

P = pet names (What pet names do they use? What pet names do you use on them?)

my love, darling, baby, babe, angel, sweetheart and, his and your personal favourite, love. they work both ways.

Q = quaint (What is their favorite non-modern thing?)

ben loves snapping polaroids of you. the additional glow the light gives you which is perfectly captured by polaroids is something ben swoons over. snapping one of you in bed the morning after a night together, the light hitting you in the right way and the sheets bunched around your body saved for the perfect reminder of what he had waiting at home after filming.

R = romantic (Are they romantic during the relationship?)

ben is the soppiest romantic going. he loves buying you little gifts from time to time and setting up treasure hunts for you to enjoy. he goes all out on valentine’s day. he gets a teddy, chocolates, roses, everything. he loves to spoil the one he loves.

S = smile (What makes them smile without fail?)

just you. you in the morning, you at night, you in the bath splashing him with bubbles and placing them on his head. literally anything about you makes him smile.

T = talking (What do they like to talk about?)

ben will talk about anything with you. from small talk to the existence of the universe. anything small or anything big will come up as a topic of conversation with ben. and you love that. ben’s got a type of intellect that you have never experienced before; it fascinates you.

U = unbearable (What habit do they have that's unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable?)

ben leaves the toilet seat up. you leave the shower mat on the floor. that’s it.

V = vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

ben literally shows you off all the time. award shows, premieres, parties, after parties, to his family, to your family, on instagram... all the time. he likes to show off that he has you, that he has someone as incredible and as amazing as you are and that he deserves you, as you deserve him. he’s proud of being yours.

W = wedding (How was the wedding?)

the wedding went perfectly. everything fell into place, the ceremony was beautiful, the reception was stunning, your hotel suite afterwards was incredible. everyone looked beautiful and fit in perfectly with the day. neither you nor ben wanted the day to end.

X = xylophone (What's their song?)

ben’s song is you take my breath away. he can relate because, like in the song, his lover takes his breath away in every way everyday. there’s nothing that you can’t do that won’t make ben say ‘wow’.

Y = you (You are the ___to my ___ (e.g. the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

you are the light to ben’s life. he can’t remember a time when he wasn’t happy, that’s how long you’d been in his life, making it brighter everyday. he couldn’t be more grateful for you and your light.

Z = zzz (How heavy of a sleeper are they? How do they sleep?)

ben is the heaviest sleeper going. he dozes off so quickly so you’re left falling asleep to the gentle noise of his snores and the rise and fall of his chest. ben usually likes to sleep on his back, one arm around you and the other over his lower torso. your head fits perfectly into the gap below his shoulder, the perfect height for his head to rest on.

-

TAGLIST: @never-kept-the-same-address @j0hn-deaky @sohoneyspreadyourwings @brian-maybe-not @deakysbabybooty @1001-yellow-daffodils @retromusicsalad @hardcoredisneynerd @painkiller80 @leatherjacketmazzello @scarecrowmax @mebeatlized @seesiderendezvous @alright-mrfahrenheit @someone-get-a-medic @miamideacon @chlobo6 @teenagepeterpan @spacedustmazzello @deakysgurl @forever-rogue @xcdelilahxc @keepsdrawing @hardzellosposts @soulexposed @supersonicfreddie @laedymoon @inthedayswhenlandswerefew @warriorteam1924 @painandpleasure86 @boomerangbassist

[redhoodieone]

But I’m Your Girlfriend!

A/N: And here is the sequel to, “But I’m Your Boyfriend!” Uh, I don’t really know what to say other than this smut is different because well…sex becomes kind of different when you’ve been together with someone for a long time.

Warnings: Smut, language, and the fluffy love.

I have it all figured out. At midnight, it’s going to be mine and Jason’s two-year anniversary. I figured I should do something spontaneous, exciting, and just completely outrageous because let’s face it...dating Jason Todd has been an unpredictable roller coaster ride.

I’ve always been at Jason’s side during the horrific and continuous nightmares of Joker, his emotional battles with Bruce, and always present at his self-esteem issues when he compares himself to Dick or anyone else he feels he has to compete with.

Through it all, our relationship has been full of love, surprises, and a friendship that has made Jason and I compatible since day one. Which brings me to say I’m standing in front of our long bedroom mirror in my red lacy bra and black lacy panties, with Jason’s brown leather jacket covering the rest of my bare body. What better way to shock my boyfriend by wearing just my bra and panties (and his jacket he’s incredibly possessive of) and by just showing off my thick thighs and curves; he has always said my body is a temple he worships and praises every chance he sees me. I decide to let my hair down and not wear a lot of makeup. The finishing touches is rubbing lotion all over my body and with spraying my favorite perfume. The last thing I decide to do is text Jason, who is currently out on patrol with the Batfamily as Red Hood, and tell him to meet me on the rooftop of our apartment building. I carefully climb up the fire escape to the top and spread out a red blanket on the ground to sit on. I open my legs and plant my bare feet at the edges of the blanket. I can only imagine how I look; I must look like a hooker. Within seconds, a loud landing sound takes me by surprise. Red Hood, in all his glory rises up from his landing kneeling position and looks at me. My eyes trail from his red helmet, his muscular body clad in his traditional leather jacket, his armor, and dark pants with his already bulging hard on. “Holy fuck...doll. What is all this?” The voice scrambler doesn’t hide his astonishment at all. He removes his helmet, and when Jason sees me with his own eyes, he lets out a breathy moan. “Is it my birthday, Y/N? Because I can honestly say your gift for me is fucking better and it beats Tim’s gift.”

Of course, Jason still wasn’t all impressed with Tim’s gift on his birthday: a newer Red Hood helmet that can play his playlist while fighting. Music and fighting? Jason admits he just hums a tune, if anything since he can’t really be distracted while battling. Not after singing the whole song, “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard and nearly got him and Dick killed while fighting Killer Croc. Ever since then, music and crime fighting are banned by Batman. And I think Tim’s gift was just a joke since he and Jason are always at each other’s throats. I giggle. “No, it’s not your birthday, Jay. It’s our...two-year anniversary, handsome,” I say seductively. “Did you forget?” Jason loses his self-control. Hastily removing his gloves, he quickly rushes to me and kneels in front of me. I can feel the heat rush down to my pussy and thighs. “No, I would never forget,” Jason whispers. His hands rub up my legs until they squeeze my thighs. “Is that my jacket, doll?” “Y-yes, but I promise I’ll clean it and hang it back up,” I swear. I forget how Jason gets when his precious jackets get destroyed and dirty. “N-no Y/N, it’s fine babe. I want you to keep it, actually. It makes you look so fucking sexy that I’m having a hard time keeping my hands off you.” “Well that’s the point, Jaybird. I want you to fuck me right here, right now, on this rooftop. I want to scream your name so loud; everyone will know what you do to me,” I say strongly. “On this rooftop right now? Don’t you want to be inside where we can be more comfortable?” Jason asks curiously. He looks a little anxious. “No! I want you right now,” I whine. Jason sighs, and before he can stand up, I use what little strength I have to pull his jacket, so he’d be on top of me. He holds himself up with one arm by my head, while the other holds my waist. “Come on Jay. I want you right now,” I say softly. “How bad do you want me, doll?” “So bad, Jay...so fucking bad...” “But I don’t know if I want to do it out here,” Jason teases. He bites my neck, and licks over the bruising wound. “But I’m your girlfriend!” I moan out. “That’s it! That’s what I wanted to hear!” Jason chuckles. Jason pins my hands above my head, as his hot mouth licks, sucks, and bites every inch of my skin. He pushes his thick thigh against my wet and aching pussy and continues to push and push until I’m a moaning mess beneath him. I need more friction. I need more roughness. I need more Jason. “Fuck Jay...” I choke out. “Yeah? You like that?” Jason asks, grinning while looking down at me. His knee continues to rub against my pussy. The pressure and roughness is making me want to cum. “I need more,” I breathe heavily. My hands run up against his armored body. Jason quickly lowers his face to mine to kiss me. Our lips move against one another, our tongues massage and search around every corner in our mouths. Jason groans loudly when I bite his bottom lip; his breathing becomes harder and just seeing him weaken from my touches makes me proud to be a woman. “Fuck babe,” Jason groans. “How much do you want me, doll?” “I want you more than anything. Please fuck me, Jay,” I plead. My eyes beg him to take me now. Jason glances back at me. His bluish grey eyes show me how hurt and pained he is to hear me say ‘fuck me’ since he doesn’t like it when I call our intimate moments “fucking” and has preferred to call our sex lovemaking since our relationship has been through hell and heaven.

The countless, ridiculous arguments. The lack of communication. The days we almost lost because we were stupid enough to not admit we were wrong and to apologize.

Especially the jealousy.

Who knew Jason had a jealous streak? Yup, he was so sure Dick was trying to steal me from him at times, and I was just as guilty to believe the strong and beautiful Artemis of Bana-Mighdall wanted him all for herself.

There were definitely times I cried myself to sleep. I always wondered if Jason did, as well. Even after two-years together, I sometimes wonder what he did during those hard times without me.

“Y/N…” Jason breathes out nervously.

“I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget in the moment that you really don’t like to hear that,” I apologize.

Jason shakes his head and kisses me again. The way he grinds against me shows he can’t hold this off for too long. “It’s fine, babe. I guess I can let you off the hook this time since…I’m gonna give you your present right after and that’ll teach you a lesson,” he whispers in my ear.

I lean up and kiss his Adam’s apple, and I bite his collarbone. Jason wastes no time ripping my panties off and rubs my clit slowly. My whimpers are making him breathe harder through his nose, and he then slips a finger inside me.

“Oh fuck…fuck…” I moan out. I grip his arms and my nails dig through his jacket.

“Oh my…what a dirty mouth you have, sweetheart,” Jason teases.

“Only with you, dear,” I retort, as another finger enters me, and his thumb rubs my clit quickly.

The sensations are too wild for me. I wrap my legs around him, and I begin to grind against his hand. He curls his fingers to massage the squishy sensitive tissue that only he has been able to find and make me cum without any issues. Jason’s eyes darken, and he watches me fall onto the verge of cumming. His wrist jerks harder and quicker, and I can slowly feel myself coming undone.

“Fuck doll…I want to feel you cum all over my fingers. I want to lick up your cum until you can’t cum anymore,” Jason pants.

The squelching wet sounds from my pussy is becoming louder. I whimper again and again until my pussy can’t take no more. I grab the back of Jason’s head, and I kiss him. I cum all over his fingers, and he continues to finger fuck me until I pull away from the overstimulation.

“Have I ever told you I love it when you cum?” Jason asks with a smile.

“It feeds your ego, I know Jay.”

“Of course, but come on Y/N. I’m man enough to take pride in making my girl cum and enjoy herself,” he says, as he withdraws his fingers from my pussy. Jason sucks each and every finger of his, and licks off every spot and drip of my cum. He moans and smiles at me. “I obviously love your pussy a lot in case you haven’t noticed.”

“No, I never really noticed,” I joke.

Jason smirks, and gently pushes me back down onto the blanket. He knows I’m still recovering from my first orgasm, but his playtime is far from over. He slowly moves down until his face is close to my pussy. When he hears me exhale, he knows he must be gentle with me or there will be no rough sex.

Instead, Jason licks up my cum that he wanted to earlier. My fingers run through his dark messy hair, and I slightly tug for a little more touch. He ends up sucking my clit, and while his tongue rubs all over my bundle of nerves, his strong hands hold my ass up to his face to devour more of my pussy.

With just my upper body on the ground, I begin to pant and moan out of control. Jason grins into my pussy, and he moves his face aside to bite my inner thigh.

“Oh Jay…oh fuck…” I moan louder.

My ass receives a spanking, and before I know it, I’m on the edge of another orgasm.

It’s as if he knows my body better than I do. Jason takes one last long and powerful lick to my clit and lies me back down carefully. He sits up briefly to unzip his pants. Just seeing him hold his hard and thick cock in his hand, makes me wetter and I lick my lips in anticipation.

“So, I think you’re about ready for me,” Jason says.

“Give me your best shot, Todd,” I challenge.

“Oh, believe me, doll. I’m going to fucking weaken your body, and when I’m done with you, you’re going to see why you and I are meant to be.”

Before I can make a cheeky remark, Jason breathes in as he buries his cock inside me. His thickness stretches me to the fullest, and I become putty underneath him. My legs wrap around him once more, and Jason begins his deep thrusts. His eyes never leave mine, and with one arm supporting him up, the other lifts my head up so we can kiss.

Our breathing becomes rough. Jason lowers his head to kiss and bite my neck and chest, until his face stops at my bouncing breasts confined in my bra. He ends up pushing my bra up instead of removing it, and sucks and bites on my nipples.

“Jay…oh my God…this feels so good,” I breathe out.

Jason’s thrusts quicken. He lifts me to wear he’s holding me up and he slams my pussy down onto his cock as he continues to fuck me underneath at the same time. Between his hands and thick thighs, I realize I’m surrounded by ever Godly ounce of him.

He’s strong enough as one. The way my body is pressed against his costumed body, I can feel almost every muscle flexing as he begins to fuck me harder than before. One of his hands is holding me up, while the other moves me to meet his relentless thrusts.  

“Y/N…” Jason groans in my neck.

The way his pelvic bone keeps rubbing against my clit, I know I won’t be able to last long.

“Fuck Y/N, you feel so fucking good baby girl,” Jason chokes out between pants. His fingers grip tightly onto his leather jacket I’m wearing. I hold his face and kiss along his strong jawline that is clenched tightly because he’s trying to hold on.

Jason’s cock keeps hitting my g-spot, and with the way his mouth is parted, and his eyes are hooded, I know I won’t last long.

“I love you, Y/N,” Jason whispers against my mouth.

“I love you, too, Jason,” I moan to his lips.

I can feel my pussy gushing all over his cock, and I tighten around him with everything I have. Jason continues to fuck me through my last orgasm, until he moans my name and a shit ton of swear words, pulls out, and cums all over my stomach and thighs.

We come down from our highs, as Jason lies me back down onto the blanket. I use the blanket to wipe his cum off me, and he take a seat beside me to catch his breath.

“Fuck doll, that was…amazing,” Jason grins lazily. He pushes his cock into his boxers and zips up his pants. When he realizes he’s torn my panties, he chuckles and takes off his jacket so I can use it to cover my lower body. “Sorry about your panties.”

“It’s fine,” I giggle. Pushing my bra back into place, I use Jason’s jacket to cover my pussy and ass. “So, was that a great present or what?”

“It really was, but maybe next time it’ll be a little different,” Jason says, before he digs into his back pocket and hands me a small black box. My heart beats fast. “Since we’re already on two years, I don’t want you to think we’re just fucking mindlessly all the time with no emotional input.”

“Jay…” I begin anxiously. It can’t be what I think this is…

“Y/N, I just want you to know that…I just don’t see myself fucking you anymore. I mean, yeah it’s hot to hear you say ‘fuck me’ but what we’re doing…is so much more than that. What I see between us is more…well…love,” Jason confesses hastily. He runs his hand through his hair and focuses staring at the ground. “I mean, I’ve said this before and since being together for two years is a big fucking deal, I just want to…make sure we’re on the same page and that you know how much I love you and that…this is it for me. I want you to know that you’re the only one for me, and I honestly want to spend the rest of my life with you…if you have me that is.”

“I won’t say ‘fucking’ anymore,” I say seriously.

“Only when it’s passionate between us, babe. Because honestly, I don’t think I can stop either. I just want us to know that since we’ve been together for two years, our sex life is never going to be meaningless and selfish again. Because face it, doll, I live to make you cum and to make you feel fucking good,” Jason confesses bashfully.

“I feel the exact same way,” I say softly to him.

“Now open your gift, Y/N.”

I swallow hard. Jason then motions me to open the small box. With shaky hands, I open the small box.

It’s a golden ‘J’ chained necklace.

No diamond engagement ring?

I release the breath I’ve been holding in ever since he handed me the small black box. I smile kindly, and Jason takes the necklace and puts it on me gently. I touch the golden initial, and he kisses me softly.

“I love it,” I admit.

“I really surprised you, didn’t I?” Jason asks teasingly.

“Well small jewelry boxes can make a girl wonder,” I defend myself. “But I’m sorry that I didn’t get you a gift, Jay. I thought we agreed gifts were tacky and not necessary.”

“Doll, don’t ever worry about getting me gifts because just having you in my life is more than enough for me. Cheesy I know, but it’s very true. But back to your gift Y/N, if you thought about engagement rings, then maybe that means we can start talking about our future…whenever we’re ready of course,” Jason grins weakly.

I shake my head and kiss him once more. “Yes, I think we can start talking about it. But I gotta ask, Jay. Your initial? Really?” I ask, holding up the golden letter.

“Of course, doll. That way everyone knows you’re mine and I’m yours,” Jason says fondly.

Jason then picks me up and sets me in his lap. He reaches for his cell phone, and frowns. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

“T-the fam was here,” Jason stutters out nervously.

“What? Y-you mean during our-” I choke out.

“Yup. They even left a chocolate cake Alfred made for our two-year anniversary. The fam wanted to celebrate with us.”

The two of us get up and stroll over to where the fire escape is. There the cake was; frosted chocolatey goodness with a note beside it.

Jason opens the note for us to read.

 Dear Jason and Y/N,

 Happy two-year anniversary! All of us are proud and happy for you for you two. You two have been through a lot, and with every exciting, painful, and loving experience, you two have survived and stuck together through it all. We admire you both, and we look forward to celebrating with you two tomorrow. And next time, give us a warning Jason. Damian saw and heard too much.

 Love,

Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Tim, and Damian.

 P.S.

You are disgusting for touching Y/N, Todd. And next time, be sure you tear his underwear apart, Y/LN.

-Damian

 Jason and I laugh and take the chocolate cake inside. Because after our steamy addicting sex, chocolate makes everything better.

As we finish devouring our big slices of the cake, we climb in our bed for the night. I lie my head on Jason’s chest. “I love you, and thank you for the gift, Jay,” I whisper.

“I love you too, and I thought about what you could do for me tomorrow since you didn’t get me a gift and all,” Jason says smugly. “My feelings are fucking hurt, baby girl.”

“What? But you said-”

“Doll, I was just gonna ask you out to dinner tomorrow night.”

“Just dinner?”

“Well, yes. Maybe then we can, you know? Maybe even get a back massage from you after a hot shower with you.”

“Oh Jaybird.”

Two years.

Two years with my Jaybird.

And it’s worth everything.

[detroitbydark]

Moonbeams and Ridinghoods Chp 2

Pairing: werewolf!haz x reader

Summary: Harrison contemplated his next move and gets support from a friend

Words: 1740

Warnings: None, safe for now my pretties.

A/N: anyone interest in a taglist? Playlist? This thing is beginning to sprawl in my head and I’d love to know what y’all think and what you like!

“If you stare at your phone any harder it’s going to explode.”

Harrison looks up from his spot sprawled on the sectional to see Tom giving him a curious look from across the room.

They’d only arrived home a few hours ago from their “boys weekend” out at the cottage and all were feeling a bit lazy. Harry and Sam had fucked off to their flat, while Tuwaine had taken up residence in their spare bedroom. Tom and Emily has been spending some “alone time” together but by the looks of his slightly rumpled appearance as he sunk into the loveseat, she’d gotten her fill.

It was always nice when the full moon fell on the weekend. They could take their time coming and going and recovering afterwards. Midweek changes were the fucking worst. Battling the bone deep exhaustion that came after a transformation while trying to be productive at work? You could fucking forget about it, worse than a hangover.

Harrison glances at the contact he’s pulled up again. “Little Red”. He can’t help but smile at the joke. Tom grumbles across the room.

“Come on, tell us what’s gotten you so obsessed over there.” Harrison rests his head back against the arm of the couch, resting a hand over his bare stomach. He lets out a soft huff before looking at the man across the way.

Tom was his best friend, had been since they were children. Their parents had run with the same pack and it was no surprise to anyone when the boys became thick as thieves or that they’d formed their own ragtag pack when they’d come of age.

“Met a girl the other night.” He finally admits, locking his phone and slipping it into his pocket. Tom raises a curious brow.

“Little bird caught your eye? Anyone we know?” Haz knows it’s a loaded question. ‘Anyone we know?’. Was she a wolf? Who does she run with? Harrison can’t help but roll his eyes. Tom was his alpha and Haz knew he wanted what was best for every member of their small ‘family’ but sometimes he was just a little too nosy for his liking.

“Naw, nothing like that. Just a girl who chatted me up at the market the other night.”

Toms brows rise into his hairline. “The night before the moon?”

“A couple nights” Haz clarifies, he feels a little uncomfortable by his friends close scrutiny. So what if he was talking about a normal human girl. He wanted to ask him why he cared so much but the explanation walks in before he can.

Tom’s girlfriend Emily had moved into the neighborhood when they were teens and it had been instant fireworks between the pair. Em was bright, outgoing, and smart as a whip. Tom had been absolutely gone on her before he’d even been able to mouth the words “I love you.”.

Of course, with dating a ‘normal’ girl came problems. There was a certain code of secrecy their parents had insisted they keep and Tom had been forced to keep Em in the dark for years. It wasn’t until she’d been attacked by a member of a rival pack, mauled badly, that Tom was able to explain what he was but by then the damage had been done. It had nearly destroyed them.

The wolf could be a curse or a blessing depending on who you asked. The Hollands and Osterfields had all inherited the trait from their ancestors. Emily had been thrust into it, infected by a bite. It had been five years and she still struggled to come to grips with her other half. Some months were good and she’d join the boys at the cottage, run and hunt by the moonlight while others, like the most recent, she’d lock herself in her bedroom for the night and refuse anyone (not even Tom admittance). It tore Tom apart and, while he hadn’t made it law, he let it be known he wasn’t keen on any of the lads bringing in outsiders.

“What are you talking about?” The brunette asks sliding into her mates lap. She’s wearing one of Toms button up shirts and and a pair of sweat shorts that say HBIC. Harrison had gotten them for her for Christmas. She was the only woman in the pack and definitely a bit coddled and spoiled by all the boys. She deserved it though, acting as a surrogate Mum and looking after the lot of them making sure they behaved like human beings and not animals (except for one day a month). She was a hell of a baker and doted on each of “her boys”.

Tom nuzzles against her neck, nipping lightly while she giggles.

“Haz met a girl.” He explains. Em’s head whips in the blonde’s direction. Tom groans knowing he’s lost her attention.

“Is she pretty? Have you taken her out yet? When can I meet her?” Harrison laughs at her rapid fire delivery.

“She’s very pretty. American.” He starts out as he hears Tom groan again.

“An American? Really?”

Emily swats him upside the head and nods for Harrison to finish answering her questions.

“I’ve haven’t exactly asked her out yet. Haven’t even called her, so I don’t think you’ll be meeting her anytime soon. If ever.” He finishes. He can see the wheels in Emily’s brains turning. It was never a good sign. She really was smarter than the whole lot of them and once she got something in her head it was nearly impossible to dissuade her.

“Well you should definitely call her.”

“And why’s that love?” Tom asks, tucking an errant wisp of hair behind her ear.

“Because, Thomas,” She starts off primly, “Harrison deserves a bit of happiness and I need at least one of these dogs to get a girlfriend I can hang around with.”

Chuckling, Tom glances at his friend. “Man, if you want to call her go ahead and do it but know your going to have to share her with Emily.”

The woman in question shoots Harrison a sly wink. Tom was the head of the pack but, when she wanted to, Em had her own bit of control over the alpha.

There was something both frustrating and relieving about being given the go ahead from Tom and Harrison wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He watches the pair snuggle closer on the couch, wolves tended to be more tactile than humans and the pair were no exception. While he enjoyed piling into the living room with his pack mates, drinking beer and playing video games after a tough day at work, he longed for what Tom and Emily shared. He wanted that connection. He wanted to find the one that completed him.

Excusing himself, Harrison pulls an old jumper on and heads out to the back garden before taking up position on a deck chair. The waning moon shines her light down on her child and Harrison takes the phone out of his pocket.

You’re developing a palate for curry. It’s something you’ve never eaten prior to coming overseas but you find yourself falling in love with the mixture of spices that leaves your tongue burning and you wanting more.

You’ve also grown incredibly sick of TV dinners and there was an Indian restaurant with great carry out on the corner of your block.

You roll your eyes. Since you’d met Harrison you had been hesitant to walk alone after dark. It was completely ridiculous, honestly. You’d only met him once but you’d taken his concern to heart. He knew more about the area and if he was concerned maybe you should be too.

You’re not sure why you’re so concerned with how the handsome blonde would feel about you doing something, you’d only met once and for such a short time. Hell, you hadn’t even called him, nor he you. He’d probably forgotten all about you.

Flipping the page of your magazine you try to concentrate on the article at hand but you just can’t get into the fashion spread and designer spotlight. You're restless and completely bored, spending all your time out of work holed up in your flat. A deep sigh escapes you as you set the carryout container on the coffee table.

Taking the overseas contract had seemed like a great way to break out of the rut you’d been in. A different country. A new set of faces. It had all seemed so easy. A bit of excitement! A whole new world! Except it wasn’t really panning out was it?

A ding from your phone has you retrieving it from the table. Your eyes go wide when you see the name.

Big Bad: are you up?

You glance at the time. It was only 8:30. Of course you were up. You can’t help but smile at the message, thinking about a reply, before you can even get a word out your phone is ringing.

“Hello?”

“I bet you didn’t think I was going to call you.” Harrison’s voice is warm like honey and you feel a smile spread across your face.

“Maybe not.” You conceded, “but here you are calling. What do I owe the pleasure?” Snuggling down into the couch you pull your knees up and into your body as you speak, the fleece blanket you’ve been using gets pulled up to your chin.

“Would you laugh if I told you I was trying to work up the nerve to call you all weekend?”

The smile on your face just won’t give up. “Would you, if I said I’d been hoping to hear from you?” The chuckle from the other end confirms your suspicion.

“Sorry for being such a div and not doing it sooner. Was out in the country for a couple of days.” The apology makes you melt. “I’ve been thinking about you.” He says and you hum quietly in response. The line gets quiet for a moment and you wonder if the calls been dropped.

“Harris-“

“Do you want to get coffee this week?”

You have to bite the inside of your cheeks as you both speak at the same time.

“I work the next couple days but I could pencil you in for Wednesday?”

“Wednesday it is!” His enthusiasm is contagious and you already find yourself looking forward to it. “Now that that’s out of the way” he continues, “how was your weekend?”

[jawnjendes]

shawn meets... | bella(2)

SUMMARY: in the life of a rockstar, shawn mendes comes across some unique people. sometimes, things stray from the norm. (AU, shawn x every one of my oc’s)(continuation/spin off of goth gf)

AN: imma jus be straight up bc no one cares otherwise,,,,,,, the goth gf makes a return in this chapter

****let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

previous chapter

bella’s origin story | bella’s playlist | masterlist

Shawn was really pushing his 30s, or it felt like that the moment he hit 28. He felt it in his soul… and his knees. And his back. Thank god his face was still intact, though. It was really shitty that part of your success in this industry depended on your looks. Brian used to give Shawn so much shit about using face masks when they were younger and honestly… Shawn wished he was here to do it again.

While he wasn’t exactly nervous about presenting at an awards show for the millionth time, he still liked to have someone around who knew him before all of this fame. Someone normal. Shawn couldn’t find it in his heart to find someone new to keep him humble. If he wasn’t still grieving the loss, his ego would be colossal. He thought about bringing Aaliyah along, but she was neck deep in her third year of graduate school. He considered Connor, but he got a new job photographing some other famous singer. There was no one like Brian, as it turns out.

The reflection in the mirror practically matched Shawn’s feelings in the moment: indifferent about the awards show, mildly sad about the lingering absence. Tiffany was running a lint roller over the deep burgundy blazer. Tonight’s look was, for lack of a better word, edgy. Shawn had on eyeliner for once, and the square frames he actually needed for reasons other than vanity. He also on a sheer black button up underneath the blazer, showing the upside down torch tattoo on his chest. While he was indifferent about tonight, he was still confident about his appearance and the presentation he was going to make.

Tonight, Shawn was going to present the Person of the Year Award to none other than Bella Santiago. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t have agreed to this, much less written the speech himself. Bella had become a friend to him over the last few years; She wrote a track with him for his first album, and more recently, she invited him to her wedding. Shawn adored Bella, and she was the only reason he was here tonight. At least, that’s what he was told.

Once he was deemed presentable enough, Shawn was moved out of the shared dressing room and put in the green room. His team dispersed, finally having a moment to breathe before the show started. Shawn grabbed a bottle of water and mingled with a few acquaintances and friends he hadn’t spoken to in a long while. His year was busy, even though he was just making plans to create and release new music. There were enough meetings and writing sessions to keep him from talking to any of his friends. At least the friends in this industry understood that.

People were coming and going from the room. Managers were discussing manager things. Celebrities that were actually friends with each other stuck together. Some were watching the live feed of the red carpet on the monitor that was hanging on the wall. A group of new age YouTubers were getting their photos taken, and Shawn didn’t recognize any of them. The only person he watched on YouTube apart from Bella was his other friend, Aria Mercer, who was here as well. She and her husband, Joe Sugg, were getting their photos taken after the previous group. They were in matching navy blue suits, the epitome of couple goals.

The only other YouTuber that Shawn knew about had just made her entrance to the green room. Although Bella Santiago had permanently gotten rid of the hot pink hair years ago, she still sported the color in a bedazzled gown. At her side were three people: Sonji the manager, in a purple business suit; Ethan Nestor the husband, in a pink dress shirt and black bowtie to match his wife; An unrecognizable woman with short hair, in a grey pantsuit and massive prescription glasses. Maybe a handler.

Shawn didn’t pay any mind to her as he went over to the group. He approached Bella with open arms, and she was more than happy to see him.

“Hola, hermoso!” she greeted as she took his hands.

They both looked at each other’s outfits in admiration, marveling at how pretty the other looked. Then, it was Sonji’s turn to schmooze.

“Shawn, you get better and better with age!” she gushed as she pulled him in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Love the eyeliner, boo.”

“Thank you.” He smiled wider. “You look gorgeous as always.”

“And you remember, Ethan,” Bella said, placing her hand on her husband’s shoulder.

Ethan was much more casual and went for the handshake. Shawn had only met him once at the wedding a few years ago. All he knew about Ethan was that he also had a YouTube channel. Shawn never got into it, though.

“And this is-” Bella looked to where the last person in her group was standing, but held her tongue.

The woman in glasses had disappeared, and none of them realized until now.

Sonji sighed. “Where did that girl go?”

“Who was she?” Shawn asked, noticing the rapidly growing concern between the three people.

“My therapist,” Bella explained, looking around the room almost frantically. “I’ve always had a therapist accompany me to big events like these. And now she’s abandoned me, I guess!”

“Hey, I bet she’s close by,” Ethan told her as he took her hand in both of his. “We’ll find her, okay?”

“I’ll go find her,” Sonji said as she cracked her knuckles, diving further into the green room.

Shawn was about ready to back away slowly and let them figure that out. He didn’t like the situation any more than they did, but if he stuck around any longer it would get very awkward.

But Bella spoke up. “Ethan, can you help her? I’ll have Shawn stay with me.”

“You sure?” Ethan asked, glancing at the other man. It was easy to tell he was protective of his wife and very cautious of her anxiety.

“I got her, it’s fine,” Shawn replied, moving to stand next to Bella.

With that, Ethan followed Sonji’s trail. Bella moved closer to Shawn, picking at her fingernails.

“You excited about tonight?” Shawn asked her.

“Nervous,” she corrected. “Really nervous. I brought my shrink to help me with that, and she was supposed to walk with me onstage. Now she’s gone. Fuck me, I guess.”

“Doesn’t sound like a good shrink. Is there anything else I can do to help?”

“Just stick with me until one of my people come back.”

“I can do that. Would you wanna step out of the room or stay in here?”

“Here’s fine.” Bella sighed and dropped her hands to her sides. “I just hate dealing with this after years of therapy, y’know?”

Shawn had been looking around the room until that sentiment, which made his heart ache. He saw the worry in Bella’s brown eyes, and he properly turn to face her. “You’ve come a long way, you can’t forget that. A couple years ago, you told me you’d never be able to attend something like this. Give yourself some credit.”

Her shoulders relaxed a little bit. “I’m just glad it’s you presenting the award. Wouldn’t have done this if it was some stranger making a speech about me.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t have written a speech about someone I didn’t know or believe in.”

Bella cracked a small smile and squeezed his arm. “You better not make me cry onstange!”

He chuckled. He knew his speech like the back of his hand. He could only hope that she would like it. “No spoilers.”

That made Bella giggle, something that relieved the nerves a little bit. Then, she scanned the room once more. “Where’s my husband? And my shrink?”

“Yeah, what kind of therapist walks out on their patient?”

“She’s kinda new at this… just started her practice and-” Bella cut herself off, and then looked at Shawn like she just remembered something. “Oh.”

“Oh?” he repeated, waiting for her to elaborate. “Oh, what?”

Before anything more could be said, Andrew was at Shawn’s side, and Sonji, Ethan, and the shrink was at Bella’s. The show was about to start, and it was time to take their seats. Shawn managed to throw a not so nice look at Bella’s therapist before being whisked away.

He was followed by his team that appeared from nowhere. He quickly forgot about Bella’s sudden change in behavior as he was let in on the night’s events. He was mostly going to be sitting tonight, he wasn’t even performing, or nominated for anything. This was actually his first public appearance since Brian’s death last year. Shawn requested he didn’t do anything major, aside from presenting. He didn’t want the spotlight on him.

The awards show went as any other would. Shitty banter from the hosts, obvious reading from a teleprompter, and scripted speeches that weren’t written by the person accepting the award. It was still fun to watch; Shawn loved watching his friends get recognized for their success.

Finally, came his turn to present. Person of the Year was a prestigious award, accompanied by a speech from the presenter, a little video, and then a speech by the awardee. Shawn stood in front of the microphone, a polite smile on his face, and he began to speak.

“Fourteen years ago, a girl picked up a camera and decided to film herself doing her makeup, not having any idea where it was going to go. Bella Santiago is a person who has seen the worst of the world, and still has the courage to rise up and be the change she’s always wanted to see. She has changed the lives of many, even my own. When I first met Bella, I was twenty one. I was nervous about being in a video with her because I had outed myself as bisexual so quickly, almost effortlessly, in front of her. She looked at me and said, ‘it shows that it’s okay to be open about who you are, and you deserve to be exactly who you are.’ That is something I have carried with me to this day. You meet Bella Santiago, and she will find even the smallest way to make you feel better about yourself, and she took it even further by creating her own charity, Butterflies for the Better to help LGBTQ+ youth struggling with their mental health. Fourteen years ago, a girl picked up a camera and changed the world.”

A round of applause ripped through the crowd as the lights went down. The big screen behind Shawn lit up, showing a video of Bella’s finest moments on YouTube. Clips from her videos were compiled with some inspiring music in the background. When that was over, Shawn spoke into the microphone once again.

“It is the greatest privilege to present the Person of the Year award to my dear friend, Bella Santiago.”

The applause was much louder this time, and people got to their feet as the woman herself stepped onto the stage.  Shawn looked back, catching her eye and grinning. He also noticed the spectacled shrink at her side, holding her hand. Shawn did the whole awkward side hug thing to both women, and then stood some ways back, noticing that Bella’s shrink didn’t follow suit. Apparently she wanted her close.

“Wow…” Bella’s voice shook slightly, and she was not looking directly at the audience. Her shrink was still holding onto her hand. “Uh… I mean, Shawn was right. Little nineteen year old Bella picked up a camera with no clue of what was about to happen. If you had told her that over the next sixteen years that her channel would blow up and that she would have the opportunity to give back…” She paused and took a deep breath. “Nineteen year old Bella would have said, ‘that’s impossible, I don’t plan to live that long.’ That being said, I want to take this time to say, no matter how bad it is right now, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. And there’s always help available. I could thank so many people right now, but I’ll keep it short. Jack: my best friend and biggest motivator. Ethan: my number one and my biggest supporter. I love both of you forever. And to the therapists I’ve had: Helena Carlisle, en paz descanse. And my current therapist, Annalise Flores. You guys are fighting the good fight. Thank you for believing in me.”

Oh.

Shawn felt everything slow down and turn grey. The polite grin on his face faded immediately, and his insides started to short circuit. The name circled his head over and over, trying to make sense of it. He fought the urge to walk up to the two women and get a closer look at the spectacled one. His legs were numb as he followed them off the stage, staring at the back of their heads.

He wasn’t even fazed by the sound of Bella bursting into sobs. Something just went over Shawn’s mind, and his only goal was to just look at her therapist. There was no way… they had to have the exact same name.

Sonji and Ethan were waiting in the wings, and were quick to crowd Bella from the backstage camera, into an empty hallway. Shawn followed them, ignoring Andrew’s calls. He just kept his eyes on the back of the therapist’s head.

The therapist must have sensed this because she suddenly stopped in her tracks. Ethan, Sonji, and Bella kept walking, turning into a room. Shawn nearly ran into the therapist, obviously not expecting her to stop so quickly.

She turned around. “My patient does not wish to speak to anyone at this time.”

Her voice hadn’t changed at all. Still firm and serious, with the ability to throw Shawn back about six years.

“Ann…?” he said, eyes wide with wonder.

She didn’t say anything for a minute, but then she sighed and took off her large glasses. The prescription really skewed her eyes, because now - apart from the hair - Ann’s face was easily the same.

“I’m working,” she snapped. “I already left my patient once because of you, I’m not about to do it again.”

“But-” Shawn said, but Ann was turning on her heel and going down the hall.

He stood there, that wide-eyed, dumbfounded look still on his face. The first time he’s seen Ann in six years, and that’s how it going. How is it that the stars aligned to make this happen?

“There you are!” called Andrew from behind, at the other end of the hall. He approached his client, exasperated. “The hell are you doing out here?”

Shawn shook it off and faced the other man. “Thought I saw something.”

“Something?” Andrew repeated. “We’re on a schedule here! That something better have been important!”

“I saw my ex-girlfriend, alright?” And Shawn was undeniably shaken to the core by it. This was the last place he expected to see this particular ex.

Andrew was confused. “Camila's dressing room isn't in this wing, you know that.”

Shawn didn’t have anything to say to that. He did know that, because they were texting. He and Camila weren’t supposed to interact with each other in person until after the show.

Neither of them really listened to that rule. Public relations aside, they were still friends. Shawn was back in his dressing room when Camila finally came along.

“It’s that time again,” was the first thing she said.

Shawn immediately knew what that meant. He already knew the drill, and he didn’t want to talk about it until he had to. Right now, he had to talk about something else. “Ann is here.”

“Not Ann from college?” Camila replied, confused. “Crazy goth girl you dated? The hell is she doing here?”

“She’s a therapist! Can you believe that?” Shawn said, finally processing what had happened. “She was accompanying-”

Camila cut him off with a gasp. “Oh, I get it now! That’s why you made that face during the speech! I didn’t realize that was our Annalise! That’s so crazy!”

“Isn’t it?”

“How is it that the universe brought you two to this place at this time?”

“Exactly what I was thinking.”

“Did you get to talk to her?”

If there were cameras or witnesses around, they would have been enthralled by the two of them animatedly talking to each other. Shawn explained the quick interaction, unsure of this feeling in his chest.

“I can’t believe she’s actually here,” Camila said. “Like, just thinking about her brings me back to college. A completely different point in life.”

Shawn agreed. Different things triggered nostalgia, and in this case, it was a person. The longer he sat there, the more he thought about the past relationship. The warm feeling was sparking in his chest, and he wanted to scratch at it.

“Do you think she still talks to Stella?” Camila’s voice softened a little bit, and she averted her eyes.

Over time, she never really spoke of her own break up. She had told Shawn that she wanted to leave Stella and that relationship on the campus grounds. All that Shawn knew was that they ended when Camila got signed. That, and…

“Weren’t you supposed to marry her?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t you be married to Annalise and have like three of her babies by now?” she said back, snark in her tone. Then she sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. That’s just… the thought of Ann being here, here in this world…”

“It’s a reminder of what we left behind,” Shawn continued. “Ann is what I left behind, so I get it.”

They both sighed, letting this sink in. Then, a voice came from the doorway.

"Hello!" It was Bella's manager, Sonji. "Don't mean to interrupt you two lovebirds!"

"Oh, we're not-"

"It's okay-"

Shawn and Camila shared a look. How fast was it supposed to happen this time?

Sonji raised an eyebrow. "Anyway… Mr. Mendes, if you could come with me."

"Why?" he asked, standing up and doing what was told. He gave Camila one last glance before leaving the dressing room.

"Like nobody noticed your entire soul leave your body at the sound of my client's therapist's name," Sonji replied with a chuckle. "Did you know you're trending on Twitter?"

Shawn didn't say anything, but a deep pit formed in his stomach. So it was that obvious, eh? He didn't even want to watch back the footage.

After walking past some important looking people, the two were in the room that Bella was confined to after receiving her award. However, Bella and Ethan were gone, and all who was left was none other than-

"Ann-banan!" Sonji called to the other woman, who had been talking on the phone.

"Okay, Ms. Adair, just tell your employer-" She looked up, circular spectacles hanging on her nose. Then, she went back to her call. "Tell Ms. Lilith I will get back to her at my earliest convenience." And she hung up.

If Shawn wasn't so stuck in 2019, he would have been floored at the names he heard.

"The man you requested," Sonji said, gesturing to Shawn. "Y'all got until Bella finishes her interviews."

With that, Shawn Mendes and Annalise Flores were left alone for the first time in six years. Ann took off and played with her glasses, watching Shawn, who was stunned at the fact that she requested him. She wanted to see him, but she didn't look happy about it.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"Let's see," Ann replied, an annoyed grin on her face. "You lay eyes on me like I'm something stuck under your shoe, and you look away. Then, your ability to internalize your feelings becomes the most important thing about my patient's speech. Finally, you try to follow me when I'm trying to diffuse said patient's anxiety attack!"

Shawn blinked. "Good to see you too."

Ann took a deep breath. "Not that I'm not pleasantly surprised to see you. But I'm working, and so are you."

This was not how was Shawn expecting this to go.

"So why did you want me over here then?"

"I would like to catch up," she said. "Just can't do it now."

And that's how fast Shawn perked up. "Doing anything after the show?"

Ann shook her head. "Not today. It's been a day. I would like to give this the attention it deserves, and I do not have the emotional capacity for that."

It sounded so calculated and scripted, but Shawn was touched anyway. He didn't know what Ann had gone through today, but it wasn't enough for her to put off catching up with him so she could address it better.

"Yeah, okay," Shawn said with a nod. "Do you live here in LA? We can meet for coffee? Or… somewhere less public if you'd like?"

Ann was quiet for a moment, still playing with her glasses. "Less public is good."

"Absolutely. I'll text you, yeah?"

The two of them traded numbers, and then there was a knock on the door. Sonji peered her head inside.

"Okay, put your clothes back on! Ann-banan, you have another visitor!"

"Who?" Ann asked.

Shawn turned to find Camila entering the room. She was much more bubbly and enthusiastic, cutting the tension that had inexplicably risen.

"Hey, girl!" Camila greeted, bouncing over to Ann and pulling her into a hug.

Only Shawn saw the mild discomfort on Ann's face as she was touched. He offered an apologetic smile.

"Look at us, reunited!" Camila exclaimed when she let go of the other woman. "All we need is Stella and the circle is complete!"

Ann hummed, her expression unreadable. "Okay, well it was nice catching up, but I have to get back to my patient."

"Oh, you're a therapist now, huh?" Camila asked. "That's so cool! How much do you charge? What do you specialize in?"

"Um…" Ann pulled her wallet out of her back pocket and opened it up, pulling out two business cards and handing it to them.

Annalise Flores, LMHC, LMFT Mental Health Counselor & Marriage and Family Therapy

Her office and cell numbers were on the card too. The card itself was very true to her nature, despite her professional attire. It was black with a holographic crescent moon on it.

"Look at you living your dream." Shawn grinned.

"Six years and counting," Ann replied. Then, she went for the door. "I really have to go, but if you have any series inquiries about my practice, call the office."

"Will do!" Camila said, watching her leave. As soon as she was gone, she turned to Shawn. "Our little Ann has an office."

"She's a therapist," Shawn added. "We've come a long way from our university days."

next chapter

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @someoneunimportantxx @shawnsunflower @iloveshawnieboi @chillingbythesea @peruvian-bae

[margoshansons]

Even numbers for the fic writer game?

2) Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I have not yet done true enemies to friends to lovers and I need to do it because I love it so much.

4) How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Oh man. So many. I have Alfie’s fic Chaos Theory, Stella’s Fic, my Bucky Barnes found family Fic and literally so many that are half outlined. I always have at least five to ten ideas running through my brain at any given moment. 

One I’m really excited about that isn’t OC related is a Bellarke Much Ado About Nothing AU, with Bellamy as Benedick, Clarke as Beatrice, Raven as Hero, Finn as Claudio, and Roan and Ontari as Don Pedro and Don John.

6) Share one of your weaknesses.

I am awful at writing action scenes. I actively go out of my way to avoid them. (Like making Jas faint during the Mutliplex fight). I am also really bad at tagging dialogue.

8) Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about”

Cisco smirked at her response, “please, you practically drool all over him when he’s in the room.”

She shook her head, “Barry’s my best friend, that’s all,” She began, sticking her tongue out at Cisco, “and I do not drool”

This is such a sibling interaction and I could see the entire scene unfold before my entire eyes. Plus, I’d never been good at writing Cisco, and then this scene happened and It just felt perfect.

10) Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Surprisingly, Chain Reaction. I wasn’t expecting it to be so easy, but Jasmine’s character really just flew off the pages for me.

12) Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Legends of Tomorrow: “Phone Home” or “Legends of To-Meow-Meow”

Both of them are meaningful but hilarious while playing with traditional tropes and just going batshit crazy. It reminds me to not take my work too seriously.

14) What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Don’t name your characters using the same initial or with phonetically similar names. 

Fuck that! I will name my characters however I see fit. It stifles creativity and if you have a name that would work, then use it! 

16) If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Look, you know it, I know it, the entire community knows it. Bellarke for life baby!

18) Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

I use outlines, OneNote, character worksheets and timelines to keep everything in check. I am a very messy and disorganized person so the more I can organize my thoughts the better. 

20) Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Just me, a coffee, my bedroom, a comfortable chair, my headphones, a good playlist and people to talk to and bounce ideas off of. (but they stay quiet or are virtual)

22) Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

a soft melody left her lips, rising up through the cold air, her breath creating a cloud every time she let out a note.

Cosette reached in her pocket to grab the forty-sous. Her hand came up empty. Oh no. What was she going to do now? 

Her sore throat burned as she swallowed down her nerves, anxiously pulling the ragged shawl closer around her shoulders, the frayed threads barely keeping the garment together while she reached down to grab the wooden bucket, water rushing over her bare feet, freezing her already cold legs. 

Y’all, this is from the archives, so I hope you enjoy this.

24) Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

When I was starting out yes. Now I don’t unless I plan on not continuing it. Every piece of writing you put out is valuable.

26) Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I try to as much as possible! I don’t really get many offers to beta, but when I do, I try my best. I’m a pretty harsh editor and I know what I like and don’t like so I try to be supportive with a hint of “this kind of sucks but I respect your decisions”

28) Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

@probably-voldemort : I’ve mentioned them so much on this site, but they are honestly one of the most talented writers I’ve ever encountered. The way they detail every character’s thought process and the dialogue and the ANGST. It’s all just *chef’s kiss*

@cassercole : Liz is so fantastic as coming up with unique ideas and making you care about the characters she creates. Like, I was really on the fence about Bucky, until I read RIM and then I was like, ‘I get it now’

@ocfairygodmother: The og and the person who inspired me to join the OC community, Jan is so talented at creating her own canon and then making it work with already existing canon. Like Entreat Me Not To Leave is my main source of Outlander news now. I don’t even watch the show anymore because her fic replaced it in my mind.

30) Do you accept prompts?

Absolutely! I just may not get to them for a while haha.

32) How do you feel about smut?

Alright look, I’m not good at writing it, and I’m not a fan of reading it. I just have a really complicated relationship with sex in general and I’d rather keep it out of my writing until I know more about it.

34) What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

FUCK THAT!!! 

YOU KNOW WHAT’S SEXY? CONSENT!!

36) Which is your favorite site to post fic?

AO3 for life BABYYYY!

38) Talk about a review that made your day.

I don’t get that many reviews, but literally any of them make my day. I just love it when people show interest in my writing! 

40) Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Oooh, Okay. I’m hoping you mean Chain Reaction, since that’s what I’m working on right now, and while the ending is FAAAAARRRR away, I think I have a good alternate ending. (I’m probably gonna cut it off at Crisis or just skip over season 6)

Barry and Iris end up together, Eddie comes back to life and ends up with Jasmine after Crisis.

FANFIC WRITER ASK

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Truth Pt. 12

Truth Master List

Request:

What’s up sug! sorry you’re struggling right now but I’ve come to help you If you could bring this to light for me I’d absolutely love for YOU TO DO JT So basically Bucky X Enhanced reader who are fuckin enemies. Hate each other to every last fiber of their beings bc Bucky is rude and she calls him out on it. AnywHs, they get drunk, truth or dare (go crZy baby) and LOTS LF dirty talk if u wanna do smut but if u don’t then buck taking care of her while she’s drunk cause she admitted her feelings

Pairing: Bucky X Reader (Enhanced)

Summary: Since The Avengers gave you a home the only blight has been Bucky Barnes, a ghost from your past that you can’t seem to shake. It makes you hate him. The feeling, it seems, is mutual. But… a simple game reveals that maybe things aren’t quite so simple. (Post Winter Soldier AU)

Warnings: FLUFF, FEELS, CUTE MOMENTS, only a little sad

A/N: Look. I’m a sucker for Bucky dancing, I’m a sucker for cheese (sometimes) and also I just thought these two deserved a moment like this after everything they’ve been through. Ugh. I love them.

Tags are open!

@midnightdream83 @mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @handplucked @buckysstar @sam-jae @marauder--harder @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @andreagf956 @marvelousmeggi @jewelofwinter @fairislesheets @animegirlgeeky @lydklein1 @katecolleen @siriuslycloudy2 @zannemes 

The next morning you slip out while Bucky is still sleeping for your appointment with Tony and Bruce.

You were happy he managed to get some sleep. Throughout the night you kept waking up, terrified he’d stopped breathing or constantly seeing that image of him bleeding from a wound you’d inflicted on him…

The moment the elevator opens you’re met with Black Sabbath blaring. It wouldn’t have been your first choice but you’re not mad about it either.

“Mornin’ Sparks!” Tony bellows from the other side of the room.

“Coffee or tea?” Bruce asks.

“No fasting?”

“Nah.”

“Coffee.” Bruce pours you a cup and brings it over to the chair you were at a few days prior.

“We just needed that for the initial blood tests.” You hold your arm out and he begins to attach the nodes.

Tony heads over when Bruce is about done, Dum-E on his heels. “Sorry, had to fix this idiot.”

“Be nice to him,” you smile at the robot. 

Tony laughs shaking his head and holds out a bag of banana chips. You take a few, munching them, mind wandering back to Bucky.

“Hey,” Tony sits next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “you ok?”

“I’m fine. I’m not the one who got a hole torn in their side yesterday.”

“It really looked worse than it was,” Bruce says, tone trying to reassure you.

“I know how much worse it could have been…” You feel the energy rise in you.

“Damn,” Tony looks at the screen. “Tell me, after a fight are you able to get your power up and running faster?”

“Uh… maybe? I’ve never really paid attention to it.”

“Because it took almost an hour for you to reach this high of a level the other day. And now what, five minutes?”

“Could be linked to emotion too.” Bruce would know.

“Yeah. Both maybe? Sorry, I know that’s not helpful.”

“No, but it’s interesting.” Tony studies the readings as the energy quiets. “The signature is also just a touch different-”

“Not quite as stable,” Bruce finishes. It’s like you’re not really there. Which is honestly ok with you.

“So you and Lefty,” Tony pops some chips in his mouth, “had quite the tiff. Guess you made up?”

You glare at him for a minute before responding. “I guess making him bleed was good enough payback for being a chauvinist.”

“Maybe,” he glances at the screen. “You should actually talk about it though.”

“Are you really giving me relationship advice?”

“More of a suggestion. Based on my own many and likely continuing mistakes.” Bruce snickers and Tony throws a chip at his head.

You laugh and sigh. “As much as I hate these words, you’re probably right.”

“You just broke rule #1, Y/N.” Bruce shakes his head in mock disappointment.

For the rest of your appointment, you run through some of the same things you did before. Bringing your energy up and down, letting it crackle from your fingertips, forming and dissipating.

Tony and Bruce both study the screens after you’re unhooked. “You boys need anything else from me?”

“Nah, you’re good Sparky. I’ll let you know if we need ya.”

“Have fun nerds!” You call over your shoulder as you head back to Bucky’s apartment to check on him.

When you open the door the smell of bacon makes your stomach growl. The sound of Bucky singing along to Sinatra’s Fly Me To The Moon brings a smile to your face and an ache to your heart. What if you’d-

“Y/N?” Bucky’s calls from by the stove.

“Yeah, it’s me. Sorry I didn’t knock…”

He comes out of the kitchen with a mug of coffee for you. “You don’t have to knock.”

“Thanks,” you take the mug from him but don’t take a sip, your lips pursed, trying to settle your nerves.

“You’re welcome. Thought you may be hungry.” He nods toward the kitchen and heads back.

Slowly you follow taking a seat at one if the bar stools. You stare into the mug, the silence only broken by the sizzling from the pan for the next few minutes.

As he cracks and whisks the eggs you can’t stand it anymore. “Why are you doing this?” You snap.

He turns around, bowl in hand one brow raised. “Like I said, I thought you’d be-”

“I could have fucking killed you Bucky…”

“Yeah,” you feel your face contort at the admission. “But it was my fault.” You turn back to your coffee, the guilt too overwhelming.

He turns the burner off and comes to your side, “Look at me, Y/N.” His right fingers graze your left cheek, gently turning your face to his. The expression on his face is soft, eyes crinkled slightly at the corners. “You had it handled. I… I was... well I was acting like my fucking father. Like I knew better based on nothing but my own pride. Because of that I got in the way and got caught in the crossfire. That isn’t on you, baby.”

You reach a shaky hand out to touch his side lightly where the bandages were. Bucky takes your hand in his, lifting it to his lips. “I can’t promise I won’t ever be an authoritative prick again. But I’ll work on it, I promise.” Sniffing hard you nod. “We ok?”

“Yeah. We’re good.”

The two of you enjoy a nice breakfast and have just curled up on the couch to watch a movie, both of you still tired from the mission, when Tony texts you:

“Hey. Can you come back for a minute? Wanna talk about something.”

You sigh heavily.

“What is it?” His back is pressed against your upright torso, head on your chest. Tilting his head to the side he looks up at you.

“Tony needs me to come back to the lab for something.”

“Ok,” Bucky groans a little as he sits up, the exhaustion clearly kicking in. “Tell him if he keeps you too long he’s gotta deal with me.”

You laugh, “You got it, Sarge.” Standing you lean down and press a kiss to his forehead.

Tony’s at his desk, the lab quiet for once. It’s unnerving.

“What’s so bad that you don’t even have music on, Ton?”

“Huh?” He looks at you distracted. “Oh! Nothin’ bad just needed to focus and couldn’t find the right song.” He flashes you a half smile.

“Tony…?”

“I just can’t work out how you tick. It’s unlike anything we’ve seen…”

You can’t help but laugh bitterly, “Well you’ve only tested me twice.”

“True but the results are so different. I mean… the base readings are pretty similar but… I just hate a problem I can’t solve, or that I don’t even know how to start.”

“Are you trying to… fix me, Tony?” A cold feeling of betrayal begins to settle over you.

“No! Absolutely not!” He looks horrified and you feel like an idiot for thinking that. “Unless you want me to… I just want to be sure we can keep you, ya know...”

“From blowing up and killing everyone?”

He rolls his eyes, “I was going to find a more tactful way to put it.”

“Tact isn’t your style man.”

“Ouch!” He dramatically grabs his chest. “Anyway, I was wondering if you’d be cool with me tagging along on your next few missions as a non-combatant. I just want to monitor your levels in real time, see how they change in combat vs. in a controlled setting. But I don’t want you to feel like I’m babysitting you.”

You think about this. It could be a little weird. Tony usually stayed out of most basic missions, only really getting involved in the ones where they needed the extra firepower. Honestly you always like when he’s along and you can think of another good reason to have him…

“I’m game. But I need you to promise me something.”

Tony’s brows raise with suspicion. “That makes me nervous… suuuuuure.”

“If you’re with us and something goes wrong. If I’m down or compromised in some way… get him out.”

Tony’s face settles into a stoic mask as the weight of what you’re asking settles over him. “Y/N…”

“Look, I don’t have any intention of throwing myself to the wolves or anything but after yesterday… I just don’t trust he won’t do something stupid to save me if he thinks he can… no matter if it’s a lost cause.”

“He’ll put up one hell of a fight. I saw how he looked at you Y/N the other day. That man is-”

“You can handle him. Plus… you’re the only one that can besides Steve and…”

“He’ll hate anyone who pulls him out. You figure I can handle that.” He smirks.

“Tony…”

“No you’re right, I can. And I am the only one. So yeah, deal.”

You give him a cold smile, it wasn’t exactly something to be happy about. “Alright.” You stand and extend a hand to shake on it.

He takes it and pulls you into a hug. “Just don’t put me in that position Sparky. You don’t get to just cash it in, ok?”

“I won’t.” You pull away, this time your smile is genuine. “Besides, without me, who’re you gonna make playlists for?”

“Exactly.”

You enter the elevator with a strange sense of hope warming your chest. A sense that grows and grows over the next few months.

For the most part, you’ve moved into Bucky’s place. Sure you still technically have your own apartment in the tower but you haven’t stayed there one night since that mission where you injured him. Your clothes, records, and even some of your photos have made their way into his drawers, shelves, and onto his walls slowly but surely.

On nights where you’re not beat from a mission or eating with the team, you cook together. Dancing everything from the waltz to tango as various dishes bubble away on the stove. You even convince him on a few occasions to invite one or two people over for dinner or drinks that aren’t Steve.

Nat and Clint join you one night. Another it’s them and Steve, which proves to be hilarious back and forth between best friends calling one another out on their reckless bull shit. You laugh yourself to tears more times that night than you can count. When you have Sam over things are awkward for about a half hour before they gang up on you to argue the superiority of Star Trek to Star Wars.

Tony accompanies you to whatever missions he’s able. Mainly he hangs back in the jet, looking over the feedback Jarvis sends him from the cuffs he modified to not only offer (hopefully anyway) emergency stabilization but to give him readings on your energy levels, how the signature changes, temperature fluctuations, and other minute details you never pay attention to.

When you’re back on the jet he usually would do a more thorough scan as you fly home. Determined to figure out just what Hydra did and how he can give you the most control possible. It warms your heart that he’s so determined.

Only twice do they pick up on any more energy signatures that come close to your own. The first was a false positive. While the other seemed to be just residual energy since the facility appears to have been abandoned for years. In fact, you’re fairly certain it was one of yours, judging from the way your head feels like it’s filled with static and the soul-shredding dreams that followed that night.

Bucky held you while you screamed and cried. You weren’t able to make your tongue form the words, some block in your brain preventing you from speaking about that facility. It was ok though, he understood. The night was spent with him rocking you gently in his arms, singing softly to you, grounding you to a present so wonderful it made the past truly feel like nothing more than a bad nightmare.

You weren’t the only one to deal with ghosts though. It was a particularly brutal mission, the Hydra agents were determined to win or die… needless to say, they didn’t win. Bucky had been cornered with Nat by about 10 agents. When you saw them after they were both covered with viscera and blood, looking more like animals than humans.

That night you rolled over to find the bed empty the door to the bathroom cracked, the sound of the shower running seeping out. You padded quietly over, pushing the door open slowly, not wanting to startle him. Bucky was on the floor of the shower, head pressed to his knees. Scalding hot water hitting him from all angles, his skin pink and red. When he lifted his head you felt your heart shatter. His face a mask of fear, pain, regret, and horror.

He didn’t have to explain to you why, though he wants to. What he wants is irrelevant. Had you asked for a mission report he could have given it, could have recited every horrifying detail of the day. His mouth opens and closes as you tentatively approach.

“Zamorozka,” is all he’s finally able to manage in a shaky voice when you’re by the shower. Freezing. Cryo. That’s what they would have done after a mission like that just to be sure. Wipe. Reset.

Nodding you strip your clothes, stepping into the cloud of steam to sit behind him, warm him further with your body, pull him as far from that freezing hell as you possibly could. For a long while, you hold him, kiss his tense back muscles, remind him where he is. When you coax him out of the shower you tell Jarvis to crank the heat in the apartment. You wrap Bucky in cozy clothes and blankets and though you’re practically sweating you don’t care.

But even with those and a handful of other times that your past comes knocking in the night, the two of you find something neither ever hoped for. Happiness. He frustrates the hell out of you some days but he makes you laugh, never questions your silences, and goddamn if he wasn’t incredible in the sack.

And it seems that you make him happy too. You’ll catch him watching you from time to time, a warm smile lighting his features. He’s more personable to everyone, even Sam commenting that he likes him better now. Steve is convinced you’re bringing back more of his old self, you hope that’s true.

-

Bucky can’t help the smile on his face. All you’re doing is caring an armload of blankets in from the bedroom but still… it makes him unbearably happy.

Everyone is wrapped up in gala business. Some necessary evil PR stunt for the Avengers. No one has mentioned anything about having to attend to either of you so instead, you’re taking the time to watch movies and eat copious amounts of shitty food.

He pops a cheese puff in his mouth and you look over to him. “If you eat all those I’ll zap you.” Laughing Bucky walks over and tosses a neon orange ball at you. Effortlessly you catch it, munching loudly.

“What’re we starting with?” He settles next to you, tugging you close.

“Reservoir Dogs, Tony’s been harping on me to watch it and I just want him to shut up about it.”

Bucky laughs, “Alright. Hit it Jarvis.” The windows darken to block out some of the early afternoon light and the film starts.

They’re no more than 20 minutes in when Jarvis pops in. “Pardon the interruption, Captain Rogers is on his way up.”

You exchange a glance, “Everything alright, Jarvis?”

“To my knowledge, yes.”

When Steve raps at the door Bucky gets up to let him in. “Hey, sorry to interrupt.”

“It’s fine.” You pipe from the living room as they head in. “Cheese puff?” Steve smiles at the proffered bowl, never one to turn down a snack he grabs a handful as he sits.

“What’s goin’ on?” Bucky settles back at your side, automatically taking your free hand in his own.

“This damn gala.”

Bucky laughs, “You never did like a dance, Stevie.”

Steve rolls his eyes, “Hard to when every gal had a foot on me at least.”

“Mhm. That was why.” He turns to you, “He just doesn’t like dancing.”

“You do though.” You both turn your eyes back to Steve, Bucky’s suspicion mounting. “That’s kinda why I’m here…”

He reaches over and nabs more cheese puffs, shoving some in his mouth before continuing. “Hill thinks maybe you should both attend.”

You just popped a puff in your mouth and begin coughing a bit, “What?!”

“Don’t shoot the messenger,” Steve holding a hand up in surrender. “She said it would be excellent PR for the team to let people see-”

“The reformed freak show?” Bucky’s grip tightens on your hand. This puts a bad taste in his mouth. Steve looks wilted and Bucky regrets his tone.

“No man, at least I don’t think it’s like that.” His fingers begin to drum on his knee. A classic Rogers tell that he’s nervous as all hell. “I think it’s more to show people that you’re not something to be afraid of, either of you.” Bucky feels you shift next to him.

“The public knows there are two former Hydra assets on the team. You,” he gestures to Bucky, “they know about from the Battle of The Potomac. But, Y/N, you’re a total mystery which is almost worse.”

Bucky stares at the place where your clasped hands rest. People fear what they don’t know. “So… this is a PR suggestion, not a team decision?” He can feel the tension in your body.

“Yeah, but everyone agrees it’s probably a good move. It’s a secure event, every attendee vetted. Plus it’s here in the tower so if you need to duck out, you can.”

“Bruce said the last one wasn’t bad,” your voice seems kind of small.

He looks over at you, your eyes also glued on the spot where your bodies connect. “Do you wanna go, doll?”

You laugh a little bitterly, looking up, “I mean… it’s not my thing, I didn’t even go to prom but if everyone thinks it a good call and will help PR… I kinda feel like we should.”

Suddenly he feels kind of excited, having you on his arm, dancing with you… Of course, there’d be all the other people, press, and… He swallows hard. “Alright. We’re in.”

“Thank god.” Steve looks genuinely relieved.

With the gala on Saturday night, your relaxing Thursday afternoon immediately shifts. Now there are clothes to be chosen and fitted, logistics to discuss, various preparations to be made.

Bucky is drug off with Tony and Pepper takes you on. Tony gets his tailor on fitting a suit for Bucky immediately since apparently what Bucky had wasn’t suitable, despite the fact that Tony keeps insisting that the event isn’t super formal. It makes him think of when he’d let his sisters dress him up. Except he’s more annoyed and less endeared.

The next day you’re both back in fittings after breakfast. When you’re done it’s lunchtime and you both look spent. Still, it’s off to a meeting with Hill to cover security details, as much for the attendees as all of you.

Most everyone would enter at the beginning of the party, do the press thing, answer a few preselected questions, etc. When they’re going over this Steve looks like he wants to puke. It’s the one time Bucky’s happy he’s known for being an unstoppable murder machine.

The two of you and Bruce would hang back, coming in an hour after the others once the event actually starts. This doesn’t mean there won’t be some pictures snapped throughout the evening or even that people won’t attempt to interact with you all but it will take the pressure of being in the spotlight off. All that’s really asked is that you all stay for at least a half hour but if you need to leave that’s ok.

No weapons would be allowed into the building. All of you were welcome to arm yourselves as you saw fit. While they never anticipate anything to go wrong, few were bold enough to make a move inside Avenger’s Tower, after all, it never hurt to be prepared.

Saturday morning comes and you’re both already over it. His initial excitement has been smothered in anxiety and general annoyance with the whole process. Plus he knows as soon as he sees Tony, he’s going to have to once again make it clear that he’s not cutting his hair.

“Let’s just say we’re sick.” You press tighter into his side, burying your face in his chest.

His lips curl a touch as he strokes the back of your head. “Don’t think that’ll fly, doll.”

“Thirty minutes has never seemed so long in my life. And after Hydra, I feel like that’s saying something.” You roll over onto your back next to him.  

He can’t help but laugh. “It’ll be fine,” he tangles his fingers with yours. “Besides, didn’t Tony say he put together a great playlist?”

“Not worth it.” Your phone buzzes on your nightstand. Groaning you pick it up. “It shouldn’t take a whole day to get ready for anything ever. It’s just not right.”

“You’ll have fun, Nat’ll be there.” You slide him a sidelong glance. “Promise after this we’ll see about running off someplace for a few days. Sound good?”

You smile before pouncing on him, straddling his hips, kissing him hard. “The thought of having you all to myself for a few days may just get me through this.”

Your phone buzzes again and you go to get off, he pulls you back, “I think they can wait a minute.” He lifts his hips to fully press the hard length of him against you.

“I think you’re right Barnes.”

His good mood lasts until the exact second Tony asks about his hair for the sixth time in the last three days. “Stark, if you ask me one more time I swear to god I’ll-”

“Alright, alright,” Tony’s hands are up. “At least pull it back.”

“Planned on it.”

“Give him some credit, Tony, the man wasn’t raised by wolves,” Clint pipes up from the couch where he’s waiting to try his suit on too.

Bucky doesn’t see you for the rest of the day. Pepper planned what she swore would be a fun ‘girls day’ for all the women on the team. He hopes you’re having fun but as the clock ticks closer his anxiety over everything is peaking. Seeing you, he knows will calm some of it. He’d face anything with you by him.

You were all meeting in the common space for a toast before the majority of the team went down to kick things off. When he gets there, it’s just the guys, drinking whiskey and lounging.

“I guess you clean up alright Barnes.” Sam lifts his tumbler of amber liquid in Bucky’s direction.

“You don’t look terrible either, Wilson.”

“Psh,” Sam scoffs as Bucky takes a seat by Steve on the couch, “I know I look damn fine in this Armani. Not that you’d know taste if it hit you upside the head.”

Bucky has to admit, Sam’s burgundy suit is pretty sleek. He’d opted for something black. Its slim cut seems strange but it’s the style now. The jacket, Tony insisted, could be worn open and thank god this wasn’t something he needed a tie for. In fact, the perfectly tailored white button-up was open a few buttons, making it fairly comfortable.

It’s almost twenty minutes before the elevator dings. Everyone but you and Natasha file out. Tony catches Pepper up in a passionate kiss. Hill looks incredible in pants that hug her legs and what looks like a men’s blazer without a shirt under, very her. The other gals look great too.

Since time was getting tight Tony goes ahead and gathers everyone around, popping a bottle of champagne and pouring glasses. Finally, Natasha saunters in but oddly you’re not with her.

“Sorry I’m late, had to figure out where comfortably put a pistol,” Natasha announces. She’s in a bold number. Gold, short, strapless, with a triangle cut out showing her cleavage perfectly. 

“Told you not to go with the Versace,” Hill quips.

“Ok, but how could I not. Just look at me.” She flashes Bucky a smile, “Y/N is right behind me.”

On cue, the elevator doors open and you step out and Bucky’s jaw hits the floor. You’re radiant in a floor-length black gown, sheer from the waist down with black overlays resembling roses with crystals providing shimmer, the neckline plunges almost to your waist, your arms bare. Your hair is swept and pinned to one side, curls perfectly shielding half your face, your lips a deep blood red. 

“Woah.” Steve breathes out next to him. “I don’t know if you can handle that Buck.”

“You may be right,” Bucky can’t take his eyes off you as you float over to them.

“I feel slightly ridiculous.” You say exasperated as he wraps you in his arms.

“You look beautiful.”

You smile softly, a slight blush on your cheeks. “Thanks”

“I may have to take back what I said about your lack of taste, Barnes.” Sam teases before Tony shuts everyone up for the toast.

When the time finally comes to slip into the party you grab his metal hand so hard you’d likely break a regular Joe’s bones. Bruce goes first. Since you’re supposed to wait a few minutes he pulls you into him. Kissing you, his fingers grabbing your hair by the roots, body pressed tights against yours. Your panting when he releases you.

“You’re lucky this lipstick is magic.” He laughs noting it didn’t budge.

“Ready darlin’?”

“Now I am.”

Hand in hand you walk into the room. The door is tucked in a back corner so no one really notices either of you for a minute. That is until Captain America just has to pull up next to you both.

“Save me,” Steve whines.

Bucky can’t resist laughing at how visibly uncomfortable his best friend is. He clasps his free hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Come on, pal. Can’t be that bad.”

Honestly, it wasn’t bad at all. People keep a wary but curious distance from the two ex-Hydra agents in their midst. This means when the other team members want to have a minute away from their PR faces they just gravitate toward the two of you. He wants to dance with you but honestly, he’s too nervous to drag you out into the big middle of it all. It’s fun to watch the others dance and get a little silly though.

After a couple of hours, Tony and Pepper approach you.

“Come on,” Tony’s free hand grabs Bucky’s.

“What?” Bucky has no clue what Stark is playing at.

“Grab that gorgeous woman and get on the damn dance floor with us.”

Pepper smiles at you with a wink, “As much as I hate to agree with Tony, that Elie Saab you’re wearing is too beautiful to be a wallflower.”

A few light synth notes start and all the sudden you bust out laughing. “Foreigner?! Tony? Really?”

“This is a great song!” Tony’s face takes on a mock look of offense. Bucky doesn’t know the song but he’s not hating it, unlike some of the other stuff you had him listen to.

As the four of you begin to sway on the dance floor the crowd there thins out a bit. You’re still giggling in his arms. “Tony is such a lame ass.”

“What was that Sparky?” Tony shouts over the music.

“You’re a lame ass!” You shout back, Pepper belts a laugh and there are distinct snickers from the crowd.

You’re both laughing as he spins you out when the melodramatic chorus kicks in. The two of you manage some kind of waltz sway mashup, giggling like kids.

Natasha and Sam join you all and seem to be getting a kick out of the song choice too, singing along. As the song turns takes on a choral vibe you, Tony, and Pepper, along with a chunk of the crowd all join in. Bucky swears his face aches from smiling.

When it ends he can’t help but spin you into his arms and kiss you. A few whoops from around them makes it sink in just how public this is. Somehow he doesn’t really care. Your head falls back and your ringing laugh sends his heart soaring.

“Careful Tin Man,” Tony playfully elbows him, “wearin’ your heart on your sleeve there.” 

Bucky thinks that Tony Stark had never been more right in his life. 

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Totally Awesome

by Viorica

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Viorica finds a Potter-related bit of media that actually deserves the hype

Oooh! This is in the Axis of Awesome!~

Parodies are a tricky thing. If you've got too much of a hate-on for the source material, you end up being too bitter; if you love the source material too much, you can't effectively make fun of its flaws; and if you just don't care either way, you get something like this. It's a difficult tightrope to walk, but when you're lucky/talented enough to get it right, you end up with A Very Potter Musical. Written by college-aged fans of the Potter series, it combines the best of the original series with the talent of the actors and writers involved, and ends up eclipsing the source material entirely.

The story takes place in Harry's second year, and encompasses the events of all seven books. Harry and his friends (with Ron's sister Ginny in tow) arrive at Hogwarts to discover that the new teacher Professor Quirrel has R

resurrected the House Cup (which is basically a one-school Triwizard Tournament) as part of Voldemort's plan to capture Harry Potter under a bumbling Dumbledore's very nose. It's hard to describe the rest of the plot without going into spoilery detail (which I'll be doing in the next paragraph anyway . . .) but suffice to say, problems arise, relationships are formed, and Team Potter must go up against Voldemort and his Death Eaters- though ironically, Voldemort's ultimate fate owes more to the "love conquers all" theme which the books neglected and the musical effectively puts into use.

When I said in the first paragraph that the musical is an improvement on the books, I meant it. The plotting is much more streamlined (for one thing, the Trio doesn't spend months sitting in a tent, and actually condemns the seventh book's plot as "stupid") the characters more likeable, and the biggest problems with the book-

tokenism

,

Dumbledore's lecturing

,and the

delusions of grandeur

are removed in favour of canonical gay characters (the main couple is, in fact, gay, and Voldemort's redemption comes about from his affection for Quirrell- quite a divergence from Rowling's choiceless choices) a Dumbledore whose stupidity and blindness is repeatedly mocked, and a pervading knowledge that this is, in fact, a very silly story. For instance, Malfoy's conviction that there is a wizarding school called Pigfarts located on Mars and presided over by a talking lion turns out to be true; after all, how is it more ridiculous than the main concept of the franchise? The musical also addresses such all-important questions like:

How did Quirrell sleep with Voldemort on the back of his head?

Why did Dumbledore trust Snape, anyway?

What happens when two people who share one stomach get drunk?

In addition to lampshading the flaws and inconsistencies of the original series ("I just put anyone who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor, anyone who looks like a bad guy into Slytherin, and the rest can go wherever they want." "Can anyone tell me what a Portkey is? . . . Well, can anyone tell me what

foreshadowing

is?") the musical can stand on its own as a creative product. The songs are entertaining and catchy - the fan favourite seems to be "Granger Danger", but my own is "Gotta Get Back To Hogwarts:"

We're sick of summer and this waiting around It's like we're sitting in the lost and found Don't take no sorcery For anyone to see how... We gotta get back to hogwarts We gotta get back to school We gotta get back to hogwarts Where everything is magic-cooooool Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS I think I'm goin' back!

But of course none of the material would be entertaining without good actors to support it, and the cast rises admirably to the task. The three leads - Darren Criss as Harry, Joey Ritcher as Ron, and Bonnie Gruesen as Hermione - all bring the right balance of likeability and flaws to their roles, but it's the secondary characters who steal the show. I suspect that Joe Moses (Snape) is familiar with the Harry Potter fandom, because his Snape is a perfect parody of the fanon version, right down to his exaggerated purr of a voice. Joe Walker makes a truly hilarious Voldemort, especially given that he has to deliver lines like "Get me some Nasonex, you swine!" with a stright face (though I am surprised that his voice held out through five performances, given the amount of growling that was involved.) with Brian Rosenthal serving as his quieter, gentler (but no less funny) counterpart. Lauren Lopez as Malfoy steals every scene she's in, with her exaggerated accent and habit of rolling around the stage. Even Goyle, who barely has any lines, cracks the audience up every time he opens his mouth. While Britney Coleman, who plays Bellatrix, has caught some flak from YouTube commenters for being "irritating" she didn't really get on my nerves. The worst you can say of her is that she didn't leave any impression at all- and with a cast this good, less-than-perfect performances can easily be buried in their better counterparts.

All in all, the musical is recommended to anyone who has a passing familiarity with the HP canon. Honestly, it's a shame that this show can't make any money, being an unauthorized parody. It's really the only thing connected to Harry Potter that I wholeheartedly enjoy, one that actually earns it's tagline of "Totally awesome"Themes:

J.K. Rowling

,

Theatre

~

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~Comments (

go to latest

)

Wardog

at 11:03 on 2009-10-14Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, this is, in fact, *totally awesome*.

The hot female Malfoy is making me go wibbly.

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Andy G

at 13:01 on 2009-10-14This is brilliant! I love every scene with Voldemort and Quirrell in particular.

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Wardog

at 13:50 on 2009-10-14"Your plan to infilitrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly, my liege..." BEST LINE EVER!

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Melissa G.

at 23:23 on 2009-10-14Loved it! Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

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Viorica

at 01:54 on 2009-10-15Have you gotten to Voldemort's big tapdance number yet?

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Jamie Johnston

at 21:28 on 2009-10-16Fab. Those kids deserve to go far.

But can someone explain to me the thing with Malfoy falling down and rolling around all the time? Bear in mind all I know about

Potter

comes from three of the films (1, 2, and 4, I think) and anything I've picked up from conversations and

Ferretbrain

articles.

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Viorica

at 22:41 on 2009-10-16Honestly, I'm not really sure. I think it's just the actor being goofy.

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Andy G

at 10:15 on 2009-10-17I saw it as being a bit of a spoof of femme fatales or female villains writhing round the stage in dance shows/musicals, rather than anything based around the books.

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Melissa G.

at 16:54 on 2009-10-17I don't know. I kind of saw that as an exaggeration of how over the top Malfoy can be. It seemed somehow fitting to a caricature of his character.

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http://mmmarcusz.livejournal.com/

at 23:57 on 2009-10-17I think it's meant as a reference to how Malfoy is always described as striking a pose ("lounging", "preening", etc.) and this is just an over-the-top extension of that. Also, was I the only one who found the Draco actress incredibly cute?

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http://tabaquis.livejournal.com/

at 06:49 on 2009-10-19I adore a VHPM, which is great because I too have become completely tired of That Woman and Those Books being touted as any kind of coherent literature.

I do think the guy playing Snape was totally channeling Kevin MacDonald's "Simon" from Kids in the Hall though! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC4PjXNt2gw

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Wardog

at 11:14 on 2009-10-20

I think it's meant as a reference to how Malfoy is always described as striking a pose ("lounging", "preening", etc.) and this is just an over-the-top extension of that. Also, was I the only one who found the Draco actress incredibly cute?

Yeah, that's what I thought as well.

And, yes, she is amazingly, wibble-inducingly hot. Me likey.

Also I notice the musical has a delightfully arch relationship with the fandom - so I think purring, rolling, lounging Malfoy was a nod to both the books and his typically depicated fandom persona.

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Montavilla

at 01:58 on 2009-10-21So glad to see appreciation for this musical. I just loved it.

It's hard to say what makes Lauren Lopez so perfect as Malfoy, except everything. The ponchy accent, the constant posing, the way she's always trying (and failing) to get Harry's attention. Somehow Draco just *is* a 12-year-old girl.

And I liked Bellatrix. She's somewhat annoying with the screaming, but that is Bellatrix, and I love that they aren't being coy about her and Voldemort having a sexual relationship. It's only one of the ways in which the musical trumps the books.

I crack up everytime I think about her face when Voldemort sits on the desk. You can see that she's still trying to make it work--but she's kind of catching on to what he's really up to.

But *everyone* is so excellent. I showed this to some of mine and we all kept remarking on how perfectly perfect Cedric Diggory is. I love the entrance of Cho Chang and just that look that the Asian actress gives. It's almost her only moment in the whole show and she makes the most of it.

You can tell that the entire cast is having a great time playing their parts--and the audience is loving it as well. And that's what makes a great live performance.

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http://for-diddled.livejournal.com/

at 21:08 on 2010-08-08Just thought you chaps might be interested to know that they've made a sequel, which can be found here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OepW-AG-Ris&feature=PlayList&p=86C718AEE71C9DE9&playnext=1&index=7

[wrappedinpetals]

Just a Little Game

jungkook x reader smut, you and jjk decide to play a little game, seeing who will cave first. length: 1k+ words

          ⊱ ━━━━.⋅ ♡ ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

Jeon Jungkook.

The way he sits with his legs open, spread into a V shape, flat against the surface of his chair.

His toned thighs, so strong, so inviting.

...

You instinctively lick your lips, which have gone completely dry as you eye the muscles of his thighs defined by his tight jeans.

Surely he has to know just how dangerously attractive he looks right now.

Suddenly, in the midst of your mouth-watery thoughts, Jungkook catches you eyeing him, finding pleasure in the unexpected attention he is getting from you today.

You don’t even notice that you’ve been caught, your mind occupies you with sultry thoughts.

He smirks, deciding to put on a little show for you.

Sliding further down his chair, in a classic slouch position, his legs spread even wider.

You're still eyeing him, silently cursing him out as you see the smirk still visible on his delighted face, waiting to see his next move.

Jungkook knows that he’s got you wrapped around his finger this time. He smiles and breaks into an over-dramatic yawn, stretching out his limbs. His legs stretch down while his arms reach up above his head, resulting in his shirt to rise up.

Your eyes divert straight to his toned and exposed stomach, the waistband of his underwear peeking through. 

The soft lines of his stomach muscles make your mouth water,

So inviting.

You lick your lips again, but this time your mind runs through a series of lustful thoughts but you know he’s teasing you now.

And so, you decide to make a little game out of this moment, because you'll be damned if you let him win this easily.

While Jungkook is still in his overdrawn yawn you decide to get up and head towards the kitchen, pretending to be more occupied by what to prepare for dinner.

Jungkook stops his little show and realizes you left him, smirking to himself.

Game on.

Your boyfriend gets up and heads towards the speaker on the bookshelf where his phone is connected. He figures if he can’t get your attention, then maybe this will.

He scrolls through his music for a while before finally setting it back down. Very pleased with himself, he turns the volume up.

The minute the first note plays, you freeze because you know exactly what he selected.

He chose to play the sexy playlist you two use when it's one of those nights.

When you both find yourselves lost in your deepest hunger and desire for each other.

You know the one and damn, he’s good. 

You silently curse under your breath at the fact that this playlist was only used for those desirous nights.

Because by now you were conditioned to salivate at the sound of these songs.

You were getting aroused at the song, and images of your boyfriend appear in your mind,

The way he looks so good hovering over you,

panting, 

sweaty, 

and swollen with lust and passion.

Your mind visualizes the way he looks when he’s so deep in concentration as he tries to chase that string of pleasure while he’s buried deep inside you.

Your thighs begin to rub together, searching for the much needed friction.

As the playlist continues to blare through your apartment, electricity begins to form in your veins, trickling down to your core.

You honestly could just give in now and be engulfed in the satisfaction that you crave.

But that wasn't good enough for you. 

Leaving the kitchen, you walk back to the main room, making eye contact at the broad shouldered boy standing against the bookshelf

You can see how over confident he stands there, completely pleased with himself, waiting for your next move.

You smirk at his cockiness, because he thinks he’s won.

Silly boy.

You head towards him, walking up to the bookshelf, standing face to face with your teasing boyfriend, bedroom eyes on full display.

Just the way he likes it.

You reach up, pass your boyfriend, to grab a book off the shelf. And in the process, you move your body extremely close to his, making sure your braless top grazes against any part of his body, letting him know what he's missing out on.

Once you grab a book, any book, you spin around and head back to the sofa.

As the playlist continues to blare loudly throughout your apartment, your core becomes wet with every passing minute.

Oh how badly you want to feel Jungkook’s firm yet delicate touch.

To feel his hands roaming over your skin, creating trails of sweet adoration all along your body,

burning their mark into you.

He’d take care of you. He’d know just what you needed. He was that good, but you're all too determined to not give in. 

Jungkook collects himself and comes up behind you, pushing your hair off to one side so he can whisper into your ear.

"Y/N,” he cooes, his hot breath confesses something into your ear as if it was his deepest sin, “I'm getting pretty hard."

His voice is as raspy as he can get it for an added effect and the nerves in your body tingle all throughout your skin.

Jungkook knew dirty talk was a weaknesses and he decided to use it to his own advantage.

"Y/N. I'm so hard for you, baby. You just have no idea." Your core continues to drip, soaking your underwear. At the tone of lust in his voice, you tighten your legs closer together to relieve some of the pain.

Jungkook takes notice and continues, watching your smooth legs tighten together. "Ah- Ah, why don't you open up those pretty legs for me, baby girl?"

Still refusing to let him win, you keep them closed and try your best to focus on your book. Flipping a page, or ten, you weren't really sure how many pages were turning at this point.

"Playing hard to get are we, sweetheart?"

Your ignorance strengthens, all of your will power being poured out at this point.

The deep bass thumping loudly in your ear and only seeming to amplify. You can feel the wall you’ve built up slowly cracking.

"Well that's too bad then, Y/N. I thought you wanted to play with me.” His voice was ever so deep, so needy, so shaky, implying he was just as nervous as he was desperate. 

He sighs, hot breath cupping the back of your neck, “I was ready to give you a gift if you listened to me."

You don’t move a muscle, fighting to stay focused and ignore your boyfriend. But your focus soon begins to fade as you feel his fingers slowly slide onto your shoulder, "Would you like to know what that gift was, Y/N?"

Without waiting for your answer, his fingers slide around to the base of your neck and up your throat.

His hand lightly wraps around your throat, another weakness.

As mentioned before, Jungkook knew you. He knew all of your kinks, all your weaknesses. He knew what you needed.

And your sensitive core started to burn with a need for Jungkook's touch. The coil in your stomach is yearning for fire. 

His fingers, still lightly wrapped around your throat, he cooes gently in your ear, “But if my babygirl doesn't want to play..."

His grip tightens, your breath starts to hitch, the sensation is all too pleasurable,

"...then I guess we don't have to play."

And with that he releases the grip around your neck, his hand disappears and a soft whimper spills from your lips at the loss of his touch.

You feel yourself caving in.

Damn...

you need him...

now.

You are so ready to give in. The lust was heavy, falling to the pit of your stomach, begging for release and you just didn’t care about winning anymore.

You sit up and whip around to face him, but he isn’t there behind you anymore, assuming he left the room just to tease you, you huff in disappointment.

But as you turn around, there he is, sitting with a cocky smile plastered on his sweet face.

“Do you want to play, Y/N?”

And with that you get up and leap into his arms as he carries you off to the bedroom. 

Your boyfriend throws you onto the bed and you prop yourself up on your elbows, breath already heavy in anticipation as you watch your boyfriend undress in front of you.

He slowly slides his shirt off. His moves are swift as he shoves his sweatpants off his legs.

His heartbeat is rising, he can taste the lustful passion on the tip of his tongue.

The muffled sound of the music only adds to the beautiful scene,

“Take off your shirt, Y/N.” Jungkook commands and you hurriedly fling your shirt off, chest rising and falling in anticipation.

He pauses to take in your bare beauty, “Damn. You're so beautiful, Y/N.”

You bite your lip at his words. He continues to smile as he marvels at his girlfriend.

His hand runs up your leg until it slowly reaches your covered core.

Pure satisfaction.

His hand is over your underwear and he can feel your soaking core.

Smiling wide at the effect he has on you, “you get so wet for me every time, Y/N. Soaking through your pretty little underwear. All for me, baby  girl.” His eyes twinkle with admiration and hunger.

His words cut straight to your core and if you didn't have some sort of friction soon you were going to lose it.

“Do you want to feel how hard I am for you?” Jungkook leans forward and down until his member is pressed right against your covered, throbbing center.

A soft moan escapes your mouth at the beautiful touch. Your hips are grinding up against your boyfriend. 

Relief,

Perfection.

“Ah, ah.” Jungkook rises, removing his member and instead placing his muscled thigh in between your legs.

Out of desperation, you begin to grind against his thigh, the pressure feeling so good on your throbbing core.  

“You know, you're so beautiful when you’re desperately grinding against me, baby girl,” he blurts as his hand slid up to fondle your breasts.

Just when you feel your edge approaching, Jungkook removes himself completely. 

He pulls off his underwear and yet again, you’re licking your lips. Eyebrows furrowed at the pleasurable pain of no physical contact where you need it most.

The beautiful sight of your boyfriend in front of you was all too satisfying.

After he takes off his own underwear, Jungkook moves to rip off your underwear, flipping you over onto your stomach and picking up your hips.

Jungkook’s tough grip burns into your skin and you moan at the feeling of his hands pressing into your body.

You can feel Jungkook brushing his member over your folds coating himself with your juices. Your breath begins to shorten as you feel the sweet relief of his dick against your core.

Letting out a frustrated moan at his slow pace, you scold your boyfriend, “dammit, Jungkook. Just fuck me already, will you?” You demand as you press your hips back into him.

And with that he slides his dick in between your legs, stretching you wide and thin. And the sensation was blindingly pleasurable.

He's moving his hips against you, in and out of you with slow but forceful thrusts. And with each thrust, you’re being pushed deeper into the mattress, moaning at the good feeling.

“You feel so good, Y/N. Do you know that?” Jungkook moans between bated breaths. He soon becomes a moaning mess along with yourself and the sound of his moans only turn you on all the more.

The sound of the music is no longer heard at this point, being drowned out at the sounds of pleasure between you and your boyfriend.

This was all you needed.

He runs his hand up your back leaning forward onto you until it is skin to skin.

His chest pressed against your back, hand snaking forward, finding your neck.

Jungkook wraps his hand around your neck, pulling you upward.

You bot are kneeling on the bed, your boyfriend still fucking you mercilessly.

Jungkook's hand tightens around your neck just the way you like, shortening your breath.

Between the lust hungry thrusts and the grip on your neck, your vision becomes hazy. White stars form. Breathing hitches,

Your body moving with Jungkook’s.  Synchronized in rhythm, all with one swift motion together. 

You reach back to grip at his thighs, his ass, any part of him that you can manage to touch while he buries himself in you.

His moans are echoing loud as he is moaning your name

over and

over,

like a sweet prayer in your ear.

He releases his grip from your neck for a second,

and you catch your breath. Choked out moans escaping your lips, a beautiful rush of sensations flowing through your bones.

“One more time, okay, baby girl?” he whispers in your ear.

His firm hand wraps around your neck, and the other hand moves around to your front, rubbing swift circles on your swollen bundle of nerves.

Jungkook’s grip tightens,

his thrusts become harder,

sloppier.

You reach behind grabbing a handful of his hair, moving your hips into him and he emits a long grunt in response. 

With that, everything turns white. You're tightening around his member, body trembling under his grip, head bent back as your back arches in pleasure.

Jungkook continues to thrust himself into you, his fingers working effortlessly against you clit. 

He loves the way you’re tightening around him, and soon enough he follows behind you, releasing his warm seeds deep inside of you.

After his release, your bodies collapse onto the bed, trying so hard to catch your breaths.

Jungkook’s hot, shaky breath blows on your dampened, sweaty skin. The two of you melt into the mattress, he knows just how to make you feel over the edge.

Once Jungkook’s strength returns, he finally pulls out of you. Soft whimpers at the loss of contact fill the room. 

Your boyfriend then quickly sits up and grabs you, pulling you in his arms. He slowly rocks you back to sanity in his embrace as your body shakes in the aftermath.

You're trying to find your breath as he runs his fingers up and down your arm, the soft lines feeling warm against your skin. Once you've calmed down, you turn to look at your boyfriend. He’s completely fucked out, beads of sweat present on his face.

He smiles at you. The kind of smile that shows his softer side,

no more smirks.

Jungkook peppers your forehead with light kisses,

whispering how much he loves you, and between his kisses he reminds you of how he finds you absolutely beautiful.

Jungkook watches you as your eyes grow heavier, fighting to keep them open so you can look at your boyfriend a little longer.

He smiles, whispering into your ear,

“Y/N. I like playing with you.” 

         ⊱ ━━━━.⋅ ♡ ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

m a s t e r l i s t

[r0syghost]

85-ish Questions

This was so long and I like to write really long answers because I have a tendency to ramble irl enjoy

@bts-love-sweat-tears thanks for the tag :)

Answer these questions about yourself and tag people!

ABOUT YOU

Hair Color? Dark brown, almost black, and accidental lighter brown ombre left over from my blood-red-head-eventually-dyed-brown hair days.

Is your hair long or short? Looong. It’s layered in a v-shape so my longest layer reaches my lower back

Eye Color? Brown

Blood Type? Idk if I wanna say? Ya’ll don’t need to know my blood type

Nickname(s)? Rach, Chel

Relationship Status? Single af (ugh SAME)

Pronouns? She/Her

Tattoos? Three! Pineapple on my right inner ankle (1 of 2 best friend tattoos), huge mandala on right thigh (hurt like H E L L, doesn’t mean much tbh), and the latest is “you see all my light” on my right forearm (my best friend has “you love all my dark” in the same spot) 

Piercings? Two in each ear, nose ring

Do you want (more) piercings or tattoos? I want a second nose ring on the same side (so like a double nose ring). I also want an entire left arm sleeve and a right leg sleeve

Right or Left handed? Right

Zodiac? Aquarius sun, Leo moon, Virgo rising...and Sagittarius venus if you’re interested ;) HA

RIGHT NOW, WHAT ARE YOU….

Eating? Nothing but I’m about to find some snacks when I’m done with this

Drinking? Water

Listening to? YeYe - ゆらゆら it’s part of a yt playlist I frequently update called “Relax” lol it’s my lounging/singing playlist

About to watch? I don’t know?

Waiting for? My family vacation to the Philippines next spring!

THE LAST…

Phone Call? Mom probably

Text Message? From my brother. Something about his mail or whatever

Song you listened to? wanna love you by paul kim

Time you cried? The other night probably? I was listening to a Morisette Amon song or cover lol

HAVE YOU EVER…

Dated someone twice? Ew yes

Kissed someone and regretted it? No. Actually yes

Kissed a stranger? No

Been cheated on? Emotionally (and yes that is a thing)

Had sex on a first date? Sigh. Yes.

Lost someone special? Yes

Been depressed? Perpetually

Drank hard liquor? Yes

Gotten drunk and thrown up? Lol yeah. If it wasn’t too bad I could go about my business like nothing happened. Don’t drink much now though.

Talked to a person named Tom? Does a Thomas count?

Had surgery? Nah

Lost your glasses? Yes lol contacts too. Was on the floor for like ten minutes trying to find the damn lense

Turned someone down? Yes

Broken someone’s heart? Maybe?

Had your heart broken? Yes

Been arrested? No

Cried when someone died? Yes

Fallen for a friend? Yes

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU…

Made new friends? Yes

Fallen out of love? Yes

Laughed until you cried? Yes!

Found out someone was talking about you? Nope

Met someone who changed you? No

Found out who your friends are? Yes

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list? Nah

FAVORITE…

Drink? Water

Color(s)? Black, red

TV Show(s)? ATLA, Parks and rec, Brooklyn 99, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, there are more I swear. These are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head

Sport(s)? Nothing. Zip. Natta. I’m not a sports fan sorry lol

Movie(s)? Howl’s Moving Castle, Lion King, Spirited Away. Again there are more.

Actor(s)? I don’t watch movies or anything that often so I don’t really have one

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Miracles? Not really

Love at first sight? No

Santa Claus? Nope

Kissing on a first date? Depending on the chemistry, sure. (exactly)

Angels? No.

Yourself? In some areas yes, in some no. (same)

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or Kisses? They’re both amazing with the right people sooooo

Lips or Eyes? I love both?

Shorter or Taller?  I mean, if this is about relationships taller but only because I’m short as hell (I’m 4′10″ ya’ll) and I don’t want my future children dealing with that lol but in general idgaf

Older or Younger? I mean, I’d never date anyone vastly younger than myself but for the most part I don’t care.

Nice arms or nice stomach? Both ;) just kidding I don’t care about that.

Hookup or relationship? Relationship. I get too emotionally invested too quickly.

Troublemaker or hesitant? I tend to go for troublemakers because they’re so different from me

RANDOM

What’s your best friend’s name?  I have two: Bianca and Alexis

What is something you can’t wait for? Family vacation! Because I get to see my grandma for the first time in over 20 YEARS

What time did you wake up today? 11 AM

Do you want to change your name? No.

What did you do for your last birthday? Went to a drag show and got drunk off my ass and had a blast with some of my closest friends because I deserved to have the best fucking time after my shitty 2017 (also this was the last time i got really drunk)

What were you doing at midnight last night? On yt looking for more music probably

What is something that gets on your nerves? Dishonesty

Do you have a crush on someone? I wish. I haven’t really met anyone new this year

What’s your most visited website? Yt and instagram definitely

Where do you want to go on vacation? Philippines, Iceland, Scotland, Hawaii

What kind of trainers do you like/wear? I tend to stick to vans. I’ve also got a loyal pair of converse i’ve had for like 10 years that haven’t fallen apart yet

How many Facebook friends do you know IRL? I’m rarely on it these days. But like most of them? Some of them are family from the PH that I haven’t met or talked to since I was a kid

Do you have pets? NO I WISH

Do you want to get married? To the right person, yes. My parents have been happily married for over 30 years and I really, really want that with someone. To be with my best friend, whomever that will be, experiencing how hard and fun life is together every single day is a fucking dream for me. I still believe in love because of my parents.

What career do you want to have? Honestly, if I were actually good at it, photography. 

What is something you want? Want? I want to find the motivation to continue graphic design and art. I want to start a vegetable garden. I want to sing more. I want to learn sign language. I want a lot of things.

What do you like about yourself? My ability to continuously pick myself up day after day.

I won’t tag anyone but if you wanna do it please do so!

[coffeeteastudies]

It’s that time of year again, August is wrapping up and we are all preparing to go  back to class. Whether you are a freshman or a senior it is a nerve-wracking experience. So here’s my advice (advice from a rising senior! Let’s see what I have to say...)

SUPPLIES

Unless your school is the type to give a universal list of supplies chances are you won’t need 300 notebooks on day one. This is what I usually bring on the first day:

Notebook

Few pens/pencils

Planner/BUJO (cause when am I ever without a bujo?)

Backpack

Recommendations

For general supplies I use Muji. They have quality stuff at a decent price, plus they are beyond aesthetic. (Gotta have pleasing supplies….) 

Planner/Bujo: This is where I don’t really have a preference. Last school year I used a soft cover dotted Moleskine, for this year I just order a hardcover Leuchtturm 1917 journal. However if you are the type that doesn’t want/have the time to make your own spreads I highly recommend using Passion Planner. They have multiple types (the academic one is the best in my opinion.) PP is good quality with premade spread (WHAT A STEAL)

Pens/Markers/Pencils: Let’s start with this: MUJI. They have wonderful supplies like I already said, good stuff good stuff. But hey, what about specific things? Mildliners, Stabilo Boss (Pastel) Highlighters, Staedtler Fine Point Pens, Gelly Roll Gel Pens, Artline Stix Markers, Tombow Brush Pens. But at the end of the day, everything works!

I used to change my backpack every year, but ever since I discovered the Fjallraven Kanken bag I stuck with it. It’s a pretty durable bag with a bunch of space. The only negative is that there are not really that many pockets, so everything pretty much goes into the big compartment. 

MUSIC

My school has a pretty liberal policy when it comes to phones. As long as the teacher allows it we can use our phones in class, and even occasionally have headphones on so here are some study music recommendations.

LoFi:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hX3j0sQ7ot8

This is a good playlist/station. These guys are lifesavers, they broadcast LIVE 24/7. LITERALLY NONSTOP MUSIC. It’s nice and chill, very nice to study to. 

I am currently self studying Korean so I’ve been listening to a lot of Korean music, and since I figured it’s a trend around here so I’m including it.

KWON JI YONG (G-Dragon): This EP is so dope, the first half gets you really pumped and then it gets more calm. The only thing is GD has weird pronunciation so don’t use this to learn or practice Korean. I learned the hard way!

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOMENT IN LIFE (BTS): This isn’t my favorite album, but I love the OUTRO song, especially the middle part!!!

EXO/EXO-CBX: Honestly everything with these guys is great, but highly recommend the newest album by EXO, THE WAR. I also like using this album for Korean studies, because their pronunciation (unlike GD’s, sorry GD stans) is quite good and it’s good for practice. 

At the end of the day, any music is good music so listen to what you like!! But make sure you’re not distracted from your work (like I am during Ko Ko Bop…) 

MISC ADVICE

Do not put off work. It’s so much easier to handle school when you do you assignments the night they are assigned, and projects the first weekend you have them. Not only does this ensure little stress, if anything is wrong you will most likely have time to revise. 

Start thinking about college early. This is something I didn’t do and highly regret. Visit colleges as early as second half of freshmen year. This way you are prepared when you have to apply, but this will also keep college at the front of your mind. I disagree with people who say that you shouldn’t worry about college until junior year. Keeping college in your mind will allow you to stay motivated and work hard. Set a goal school and work towards it. I WISH so much that someone told freshman me to worry about college because I started worrying a little too late.

SAT/ACT: Take the PSAT as early as you can. This will help you decide which test you are more suited for. Do a mock test of the ACT as well, time yourself and see which score is higher. I then recommend to take either of the tests your junior year. I took the ACT four times, most people take one of the exams about 2-3 times. Don’t forget that superscoring is a thing, some colleges will allow you to the highest mark of each section and combine them. Also don’t worry if you aren’t in the range colleges say their accepted students had. This is only the mid 50%, there are people who got lower scores and got in and people with higher scores who also got in. 

Go see your teachers whenever you can. You will need recommendation letters for applications at some point so work on your relationships with your teachers. If you have a class you particularly like, get close to the teacher. Go talk to them after school. High school is slightly different in this sense, you can have a friendly relationship with your teacher. (I even go to talk about Game of Thrones with my 10th grade English teacher.) 

Electives are also important! Of course everyone has to take the core classes, but showing interest in other areas is just as important. Colleges are looking for students who have interests and those who will make their communities diverse. So if you’re interested in art, take art classes and so on! 

Most importantly, have fun! School is stressful, and there is just so much anxiety involved with it. Take time to take care of yourself. Go out with friends, go to parties (but don’t do anything that will get you in trouble). If you need to take a break, take the day off. Your mental and social health are just as important as your studies. We studyblrs seem to have no lives outside of studying and I hate that. HAVE FUN, remember that this is the only time you will be in high school so enjoy it. Go do crazy stupid things, because why not?! (Great advice…) Just remember to be safe :)

 Good luck to everyone on the upcoming 2017/2018 school year. As for my fellow seniors, we are almost there guys, this is the final push, the sprint right before the end of the race. Congrats on making it this far. And my freshmen, welcome to high school! 

[ladyfogg]

Sick Like Me - Part 18/20

Sick Like Me - Part 18/20

Fic Summary: With unfinished business hanging over your head, being locked up in Arkham is holding you back. However, you have your eye on a certain red-haired maniac, who may be just the person to help you escape and realize your true potential.  Fic Song. Fic Playlist. Fic Masterpost.

Fic Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Jerome Valeska/Female Reader

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, for a complete list of warnings, visit AO3.

A/N: The song in this chapter is Time for Tea by Emilie Autumn. I really suggest listening to it. The only warning I have for this chapter is it’s...disturbing. By my standards at least. Also the certain item of clothing Queenie has Jerome put on just for her may or may not come from a certain scene from Shameless. Just sayin’.

You finally did it. After all the scheming, manipulating, and killing, your stepmother is strapped to that old examination table, unconscious.

Jerome stands next to you, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest as you both gather yourselves. Aaron is somewhere behind you, waiting for instructions.

There is no sign of the nerves from earlier, only excitement and adrenaline.

“Aaron,” you order to the big muscular man. He steps up to stand on your other side. “Your services up here are no longer required. I need you to go wait on the floor below this one. If Gordon or anyone else tries to come for us, you are to stop them no matter what. I’ve disconnected the elevator so they have to take the stairs. There’s only one way in or out of this place and you’re our last line of defense. Got it?”

Aaron nods. “Yes,” he says.

You smile and pat him on the shoulder. “See you on the other side of this, friend,” you say. “And don’t forget to wear your earpiece. I want to know if Gordon gets to you.”

He nods with understanding and then walks away, leaving you and Jerome alone.

“That sounded final,” Jerome comments.

“Yeah well, he’ll probably die or get arrested,” you admit. “And since he’s wearing his earpiece, I can just kill him if the latter happens.”

“What do we do first?” Jerome asks, rubbing his hands together eagerly.

“Set the stage of course,” you grin. “And get into costume. That drug isn’t going to wear off for another thirty minutes or so, and she’s going to be very disorientated when it does.”

“This is your show, just tell me what you need,” Jerome says, following you to the door tucked away in the back. “I live to serve under you, Queenie. Well, sometimes.”

You laugh, opening the door. It’s an old servants corridor that leads to the kitchen, and will serve as an emergency escape route should the GCPD actually somehow get to this floor. Right inside are piles of clothes for you and Jerome to change into.

You hand Jerome his and he looks through the items smirking. “After all this time, I still wind up dressing like a clown,” he comments. “Except for these…” He pulls out a pair of tight undershorts, raising his eyebrow at you questioningly.

“Those are a personal preference,” you smirk, leaning in close. “Just knowing you’re wearing them underneath will be a turn on. And honestly, your clothing is more like a ringmaster than a clown. I’ll be dressed as the clown. It’s literally her worst nightmare.”

Jerome wags his eyebrows and starts to strip so he can change. You watch for a second, before forcing yourself to do the same.

The sleeveless black and white striped dress is short, so short that the ruffled bottom barely covers your lady bits, which you’ve masked with a pair of red silky underwear. Your knee-high socks are striped as well, making it look like you’re wearing your old Arkham uniform, only modified. Jerome watches as you step into a pair of stilettos, his eyes flashing hungrily. He’s naked except for those shorts, and you also pause to admire the view.

“Do we have time for a quickie?” he asks, palming himself. His bulge is impressive, as always, but unfortunately there isn’t time to do anything about it.

“No, we don’t,” you pout, straightening your stance and tugging your dress into place. “But don’t worry, once we’re done here I’ll bend you over and take good care of you.”

Jerome laughs, stepping into the white pants you gave him and yanking them up. “You may have to keep that outfit on,” he says, wincing as he tucks himself into the restrictive pants.

You grin back at him, pulling on your long, striped, finger-less gloves. “I can do that,” you promise. You tuck your phone into the pocket you sewed into the dress, and draw out your compact.

As Jerome continues to dress, you smear white across your face and neck, making sure it’s coated completely before applying your black eye-liner. The finishing touch is ruby red lipstick, and after giving yourself a once over in the small mirror, you conclude you look damn good as you slip the makeup back into your pocket. You can’t wait to see your stepmother’s face when she wakes up.

While Jerome finishes up, you step back into the ballroom. You turn on the smoke machine and dim the lights, except for the one directly over your stepmother. It works as a spotlight, like a beacon leading you to the one thing you’ve wanted most over the last two years. Your fingers flex, aching to pick up one of the many instruments you have laid out. But after all this time, you vow to go slow and make her know every single angry, vengeful thought that has been running through your head since you stopped fearing her, and started hating her.

You step into the circle around her table, bile rising in your throat as you gaze at her face, wrinkles barely visible due to plastic surgery. The idea of changing your face never appealed to you. Why go through all that trouble to hide wrinkles?

Once you're on that train of thought, you think of all the times she mocked your appearance, and you clench your jaw. Hate doesn’t even begin to cover your feelings for this woman. She made you feel worthless for existing, and it’s only appropriate that you return the favor.  

Jerome silently appears next to you, dressed impeccably and looking dashing. Along with those wonderful pants, he’s dressed in backwards straitjacket, the buckles and straps loosely done. His black boots are so shiny you can see yourself in them, and the red jacket he’s pulling on adds a beautiful splash of color. Red looks good on him. Real good.

“We need some music,” he comments.

“We will later. But I have something better to listen to first.”

You pull your cellphone out and press a button. The screens around your flicker to life and the video of you and Jerome comes on, volume full blast, the noises of your fucking echoing loudly throughout the large room. He is absolutely delighted, grin so wide you’re sure his cheeks must hurt.

“Uh...boss?” Aaron’s voice comes over the earpiece.

“What is it?” you ask, slipping your phone into your pocket.

“Some of the guys just told me your trip mines on the third floor aren’t flashing anymore, and Gordon just showed up outside,” Aaron says.

Grumbling, you’re about to yell when Jerome speaks up. “I’ve got it,” he says into the earpiece. “Stay where you are, Aaron.”

Jerome turns to you, pulling you in for a kiss, smearing your lipstick. “Don’t have too much fun without me,” he says as he withdraws, a bit of red on his mouth. “I’ll fix everything. You just stay here and play.”

“Hurry back,” you urge, wiping the lipstick on his face away with your thumb. With your other hand you reach down to squeeze his ass, only to shudder when you feel the outline of those shorts.

Jerome kisses your nose and then he’s gone, off to handle things. You’re really glad you decided to take him with you. He's everything you’ve ever needed in a partner and you can’t imagine doing any of this without him.

You turn your attention to the images on the screens, taking time to enjoy how you and Jerome look together. It’s actually beautiful, how insync the two of you are, how you’re both moving desperately to chase your own pleasure. It’s the most beautiful piece of cinematic art you’ve ever seen. And it’s making you unbelievably turned on.

Your stepmother gives a groan of discomfort and starts to move. Attention instantly drawn to her, you slowly step backward out of the light, watching as she comes to consciousness. She’s confused at first, you can see it all over her face as the cloudiness begins to clear from her vision. She tries to move, only to find that she’s strapped to the table and can’t even shift. Of course, she struggles harder, whimpering with fear as she tries to free herself. Suddenly, a loud moan from the TV draws her attention, and when her eyes finally find the screens, she looks repulsed.

“Now you know how I felt,” you say loudly, making her jerk her head in your direction. “Having to listen to you and my father having loud sex for years can get really fucking annoying. It was actually the breaking point that night, did you know that? I just couldn’t stand listening to that headboard hitting the wall anymore.”

You’re shrouded by the darkness, so you know she can’t see your face. But your voice is unmistakable and she immediately reacts.

“Why are you doing this? I never laid a hand on you!” your stepmother insists.

Video You gives a loud moan as Video Jerome laughs wildly. “Take my dick, Queenie,” he growls. “God, you’re so good at it!”

“Jerome! Oh, Mistah J, fuck me!”

Your stepmother winces with disgust and instinctively recoils. At least she tries to. The table doesn’t let her.

“You’re right, you never did,” you admit, stepping closer yet stopping just out of the radius of the spotlight. “That doesn’t mean you didn’t abuse me. See, as stupid as I found therapy in Arkham, some of the stuff Dr. Thompkins said actually resonated with me. Like, just because I was never hit, doesn’t mean I wasn’t abused. According to her, words can leave just as big a scar. And if I had a physical scar for every insult, every backhanded comment, every word of disgust…” You step into the light completely so she can see your face. “I’d be completely covered with them.”

She screams.

The sound is music to your ears and makes you grin. “Do you like my look?” you ask innocently, playing with the ruffles of your skirt. “Sort of a, circus meets escaped lunatic mashup.”

You start to slowly circle the table, letting your fingers drag up her arm. “Speaking of circuses, do you remember, when I was eleven, and the circus was in town?” you ask. “Dad wanted to bring me, and you pitched the biggest fucking fit.”

The moans and grunts from the video add a deliciously dirty soundtrack to your words, and you take your eyes off your stepmother to stare at your sex tape with appreciation. You and Jerome gyrate against each other, nails and teeth finding purchase in already bruised flesh.

“I didn’t care either way,” you say, looking back at her. “See, that’s when he had just started to visit my room at night, and I wanted nothing to do with him. But he was insistent on all of us going as a family, and you cried.”

You hop onto the examine table, straddling her waist. She screams again and struggles, shutting her eyes and turning her head away.

“‘You’re so insensitive!’,” you whine, mocking her high-pitched voice. “‘You know how I feel about clowns and you want to drag me to that place, just so you can spoil your little brat!’”

You lean over her, and she whimpers, eyes still shut. “‘Look at her! She doesn’t even want to go! She’s so ungrateful! I don’t even know why you bother! You should send her away!’” You sit back with a wistful sigh. “And I remember thinking, ‘God yes, please send me away so I don’t have to listen to this cunt anymore.’ But unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Daddy had to keep me close after all. And so, he got his way, which he always did, and we went to the circus.”

You jump off the table and move to stand where her head is. In the background, you and Jerome finish, both screaming loudly. He pulls out of you to pump his release all over your chest.

“Aww, you’re missing the money shot,” you say. “Here, let me help with that!”

You grab her head and turn it towards one of the screens, using your fingers to pry her eyes open.

“Mmm, yeah, look at him shoot his load. Fuck he's so violent when he comes!” you gush.

“No, please I don’t want to watch this!” she begs, trying to shake her head free of your grip.

“But it’s hot!” you laugh. “He’s coming all over me and I’m just so spent. Look, some even got on my chin. Annnnd there I go, licking it away…” You groan with longing.

“Keep swooning over me, Queenie,” Jerome’s voice comes through the earpiece. “Definitely a nice ego boost!”

“He’s here you know,” you tell your captive. “Jerome needed to take care of a few things, but he’ll be back to meet you properly. It’s kind of a new tradition we have: introduce the other to our parents and then murder them.”

“I understand you hating me, but I never made you watch something like this!” your stepmother says.

“No, but you made me listen to it, over and over again,” you snarl, forcing her to look up at you. You lean down and press a smacking kiss to her forehead, leaving behind a red lipstick print. After, you shove her head to the side and move back around the table.

“Now where was I...oh yeah, the circus!” You jump onto her lap again and she turns her head sharply to look at you. “So we go, and I’m pouting because I’m bored. Clowns never did anything for me. Well, not until recently. Anyways, we’re there, Dad is being overly touchy and friendly, winning me things and buying me stuff, and you’re walking all stiff and scared because every time you turn around.” You lunge forward so you’re face is right in front of hers, the clown makeup beginning to run as you sweat. “...there’s a clown.”

She flinches, whimpering again, turning her head in an attempt to get away from you.

“And that’s when I realized you weren’t so scary anymore,” you say, stroking her cheek. “You have fears just like everyone else. A fact I remembered when I was planning on what to do with you once I caught you. I have to say, I never thought you’d work with the GCPD. You must be really scared of me.”

“Please, please just let me go,” your stepmother pleads. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I said all those things about you. It was wrong, I know it was! I’ve been kicking myself ever since you killed him.”

“Oh, no you haven’t!” you snort. “You’re so full of shit. You’re not kicking yourself for saying them, you’re kicking yourself because I know you said them. And probably for not noticing how bat-shit crazy I am. It’s not your fault. I hide it well. Manipulating people is kind of second nature. Then again,” You lean in close with a wide grin. “I learned from the best.”

“I had my reasons!” your stepmother insists. “Yes, I tried hard to take all his attention! But I did it to protect you! I knew what he was thinking of doing, and that’s why I wanted you out of the way! I tried to save you!”

You laugh so loud it drowns out the sounds from the video tape. “Did you really think I would believe that?” you question, shaking your head and wiping the tears away. The action smudges your makeup even more. “You were saying that shit long before he started visiting me at night. Hell, I heard you telling your little friends how much of a nuisance I was. How you wished he didn’t have a daughter so you could inherit all our money.” At her horrified expression, you reach down to casually adjust the collar of her blouse. “I pretty much eavesdropped on you all the time. At first, it was because I was curious. Then it was because I wanted more information on you for blackmail purposes. You didn’t care about me. You didn’t even care about him. You cared about money!”

You wrap your hand around her collar as you swipe one of the scalpels off the nearby cart. “ADMIT IT!” you bellow, lunging forward and pressing the tip of the blade under her chin.

“Yes, yes, okay I admit it!” your stepmother says. “I just wanted money. Your dad disgusted me. If I wasn’t grossed out by him, I was bored. He was the worst! And you weren’t any better! So plain and quiet, always watching with those crazy eyes. And yet, he paid so much attention to you, way more than he did to me, and I could never understand it.”

Now that you have her going, it seems she can’t stop, blurting out everything she’s been bottling up over the years.

“I never got why he wanted you to have everything! Why should you?! You didn’t earn it! You didn’t work for it! I did everything for that man! EVERYTHING! And for what? For him to leave his fortune to some snot-nosed little girl who looked like his dead wife?!” she shouts.

“I WAS A CHILD!” you bellow, pulling the scalpel away, only to draw it across her collarbone. The skin splits and blood glistens in the spotlight as she cries out in pain. “I DIDN’T WANT ANY OF IT! THE ATTENTION, THE MONEY! NONE OF IT!” Realizing you’re losing control, you take a deep, shaky breath and rein it in. When you speak again, your voice is lower. “You blamed me for the actions of a full grown adult! You’re the one who should have been locked up!”

“You killed him, psycho! You deserved to be locked up!” she spits.

You pretend to consider her words. “Normally, I would argue,” you conclude, voice calm and steady. Letting go of her collar, you reach down to jam your thumb into her cut. “But considering locking me up forced me to meet the love of my life, I’d agree this time.”

“Aww, Queenie, you’re making me blush,” Jerome’s voice comes in clearer now as he steps into the circle.

Squealing with delight, you toss the scalpel on the tray and climb off your stepmother. You bound toward Jerome, jumping up to throw your arms and legs around him. He spins you once before putting you down and smashing his mouth against yours in a bruising kiss.

“Everything good?” you ask, reluctantly withdrawing.

“Mmm, more than,” Jerome assures you. “Gordon and his partner are still stuck on the first floor.”

“Excellent,” you purr. “Jerome, sweetie, I want you to meet someone.” You take his hand and lead him over to the table, where your stepmother is panting and crying, blood smeared along her collarbone. “This is my stepmother. We were just having the most wonderful chat.”

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Jerome says with an exaggerated bow. “And from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being such a piece of shit and bringing Queenie into my life.”

“You’re both insane!” your stepmother says. “Detective Gordon will stop you!”

You and Jerome laugh, closing in on her. “Not today,” you say.

“Mmm, Queenie, this video is dirty,” Jerome giggles, looking at the screen. It smash cuts to him sitting on an armchair, with you kneeling between his legs, gagging on his cock. “We really should have gone with another angle though.”

“Maybe,” you say. “We’ll make a better one later. Right now I have some work to do, and I’d really like some music instead.” You take your phone out of your pocket, shuffling through your playlist until you find the perfect song.  

Another press of the button shuts off the lights completely, plunging the three of you into darkness. The music amps up, blaring loudly, and you press one final button, turning on strobe lights.

“No! No, please! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!” your stepmother screams, barely audible over the music as you and Jerome move around her.

Your heart is drumming hard against your ribcage, the excitement and eagerness eating away at your self control. The beat of the music gets your energy up and you bounce slightly, preparing yourself for what’s to come. Next to you, Jerome is staring just as fiercely at your stepmother as you are, fingers twitching as he restrains himself from doing anything. This is your moment, just like he had his with his father. He’s not going to ruin it for you.

Unable to help it, you start to singing along. “There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead, and when she was good, she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was homicidal!” You straddle her again, extending your hand.

“Hatchet…” you demand.

“Check!” Jerome hands you the tool.

“Scalpel…”

“Check!”

“Rusty steel syringe…”

“Check!”

You lay the items on her chest except for the scalpel and Jerome takes the edge of the table, spinning it and laughing hysterically as your stepmother cries and screams.

“It’s time for war! It’s time for blood!” you sing, ripping open the blouse with the blade, bearing her chest to you. She thrashes and struggles, to no avail. She’s trapped and she’s not leaving alive. “It’s time for TEA!”

You begin to carve deep gashes into her chest, moving slowly and methodically.

“One day that little girl may find a filthy metal spike, and drive it right in the middle of your forehead. For she and her friends, this is very, very good,” you sing. “But for you the game is over – this is revolution!”

Grabbing her neck, you turn her face away from you and cut into her cheek, following the scars of her facelift, another stupid symbol of the rich and desperate lifestyle. She’s screaming constantly now, still shouting for the help that won’t be coming. Jerome is laughing, cheering you on as he lets go of the table and watches it continue to spin on its own.

“Hatchet…Check! Scalpel…Check! Amputation saw…Check!” you bellow. “It’s time for war! It’s time for blood! It’s time for TEA!”

The music keeps going, but you stop singing, focusing on drawing as many bloody lines in this woman as you can. The flickering lights don’t bother you in the slightest and you keep the grin on your face, noting how terrified her eyes are every time the light flashes.

Jerome picks up the singing for you. “We’ve got the tools, we’ve got the time, to punish a most worthy crime against humanity, somewhere it’s always time for tea. We’ve been trained by the very best, we think you just might be impressed, eradicate the enemy, somewhere it’s always time for…” He’s urging you to finish it, egging you on, supporting you in the very best way. “Revenge is a dish that is best served…NOW!”

The music is just as encouraging as Jerome. It sets the pace for your carving, the scalpel sticking to your blood soaked fingers.

“I am that little girl, I have that little curl, right in the middle of my forehead,” you join back in. “And when I am good, I am very, very good, but when I am bad, I am fucking gorgeous!”

Your control is slipping. The more blood you see, the more it sends you in a frenzy, and you find your cuts less precise, more erratic and angry.

In your ear, you hear Aaron growl and you know Gordon has reached the upper floors. Shit. How did he do that so fast? He must have brought a lot of backup. Fuck, you can’t take as long as you want. Jerome seems to hear the noise too because he spins the table one last time and hops on behind you. He places his hands on your hips and leans forward, lips brushing your ear.

“Hatchet…Check! Scalpel…Check! Electroshock Machine…Check! It’s time for war! It’s time for blood! It’s time for TEA!”

You toss the scalpel aside and grab the syringe, rage finally taking hold. You stab her over and over again, blood splattering across your black and white dress.

“We’ve got the tools, we’ve got the time, to punish a most worthy crime against humanity, somewhere it’s always time for tea,” Jerome watches excitedly, fingers digging into your hips. You can feel the press of his erection in your lower back and it only spurs you on. “We’ve been trained by the very best, we think you just might be impressed, eradicate the enemy, eradicate the enemy…”

You’re possessed. You can’t stop stabbing her and even when her screams bubble down to nothing, you keep going while Jerome whispers in your ear, “Go, Queenie, go! There’s my girl...let her have it…”

She’s nearly dead, her body convulsing and leaking blood from every bit of exposed skin. The hatchet slips as you attempt to pick it up, clattering to the floor in the chaos, and you climb down after it, Jerome following your lead.

The door to the ballroom suddenly bangs open and Gordon and Bullock stand there, bloody and panting, their guns drawn.

Your eyes meet Gordon’s from across the room and you lift the hatchet. “Revenge is a dish that is best served…” You swing the blade end down, burying it in your stepmother’s neck. “NOW!”

“NO!” Gordon screams, firing.

Jerome tackles you to the ground, narrowly avoiding the bullets and knocking over the tray of tools in the process. The shots hit a mirror instead, sending shards everywhere.

A large piece hits you in the face, cutting diagonally from your left eyebrow to your lip. Blinking the blood out of your eye, you scramble to grab one of your smoke grenades as it rolls away. You yank out the pin and Jerome takes it from you, chucking it in the direction of Gordon and Bullock.

“Jim, look out!” Bullock orders, yanking Gordon back just as the grenade hits the ground in front of them.

It goes off and they're stunned, coughing and sputtering. Jerome pulls you to your feet, hand gripping yours tightly as he tugs you in the direction of your only means of escape.

The detectives still manage to fire, and you feel a searing pain in your shoulder, the adrenaline making you too focused to even cry out. Jerome manages to get you through the door and slams it shut behind you. There’s no time to catch your breath, only a second to kick out of your heels. You both run as fast as possible through the penthouse, and you just manage to get to the front door as you hear Gordon and Bullock stumble out of the ballroom.

Aaron’s unmoving body lays at the bottom of the stairs. Jerome jumps over it and holds his arms out to catch you as you do the same. Each floor you pass is a mess of blood and people fighting, the goons you hired doing their very best to stop the officers who were unfortunate enough to back up Gordon and Bullock. In the distance you hear the trip mines go off.

The garage never looked so good. You grab the keys from your pocket and toss them to Jerome, heading for the black sedan in the corner. He gets into the driver’s seat and you throw yourself into the passenger’s.

“GO!” you bellow.

Jerome peels out of the space, and makes for the exit, only for two officers to appear, pointing their weapons. Jerome laughs and steps on the gas, flooring it. One man manages to jump out of the way, but the other makes a sickening noise as he slams into the front of the car, bouncing off the windshield.

Jerome skids out onto the main road and keeps going. “Wooo!” he shouts, excitedly banging on the steering wheel. “Now THAT was a rush! Queenie, you’re the most terrifyingly beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”

“I’m also bleeding,” you grunt, pressing your hand to your shoulder. “I think I was shot…”

Jerome turns toward you sharply. “Are you okay?” he demands.

“It's nothing,” you assure him. “I’ll be fine.”

“Just lay back and rest, doll face,” Jerome grins. “You did it. You finally did it.”

A smile crosses your face, white paint smeared with sweat and your stepmother’s blood. Your body sags, endorphins and adrenaline running out. “Yeah, I did.”

[missandrogyny]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2016

so!! @alivingfire tagged me in this thing!! originally i wasn’t planning to do it but i figured that eh i should so i at least have something to refer back to next year yay

1. List of works published this year:

if i had the chance, the things i would do to you

that lace shirt

somethin’ bout you

blind from this sweet, sweet craving

to kill the mess we’ve made

day 3: tossed salad

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

i think i’m most proud of somethin’ bout you?? like, when i got the prompt for the spring exchange i was so excited, but also kind of nervous because it was such a huge idea and i’d never written an idea that huge before. i tend to stick to plots that are fluffier, simpler, and less…plotty, so to speak, so having the spring exchange prompt and spinning it the way i wanted to (with the kidnapping and the d/s, etc.) was daunting. there are definitely still parts that i would want to change in it, parts i would rewrite if i had the chance, parts where you can tell that i just got so sick of my own work, and i still want to give it a sequel, but yeah. to me that feels like a child i sent in to a spelling bee and although he didn’t really win any awards, he was still good enough to be in the spelling bee.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

probably my work for the 30 days of smut. i just…didn’t really know what i was working with. like, i didn’t know what the authors before me were doing, and i was way too shy to actually message them and ask and discuss plot, so i just sat on it until a week before it was supposed to be submitted and thought ‘fuck it, i’m just gonna do whatever’. also it was written in past tense, which i completely forgot how to do rip so i spent a lot of time just…reading it and trying to make sense of the tenses and crying over words

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i’m always, always going to be proud of this paragraph. i don’t really know what came over me at the time of writing, but when i finished i just had this and i just…loved it so much.

(Later, Louis wakes up to find Harry sound asleep beside him. It’s dusk, and the soft light of the afternoon makes him look unreal, almost ethereal. He looks like a star, or perhaps some shooting thing—a meteor, or a comet, maybe. Louis watches as he breathes, as his chest rises and falls, watches the way the light seems to bend to him, making him look like the most beautiful thing to ever exist.

And Louis wants to save this moment, wants to keep him like this forever, naked and asleep in bed, but he knows better—he knows that Harry is a star, and you cannot keep stars like this to yourself. He knows that stars don’t belong here, don’t belong in dusty bedrooms beside boys with sticky fingers. He knows that stars belong in the sky and boys belong on the ground, and even a boy with the stickiest fingers will never be able to keep a star down.

So he gets dressed—slowly, quietly. Harry doesn’t stir at all, too lost in his dreams, and that’s good, because that makes saying goodbye that much easier. A sleeping Harry won’t draw him in with sea foam green eyes and cherry-red lips. A sleeping Harry won’t entice him to stay.

He takes a mental picture, embeds it into his brain, makes sure he has something to remember this by. Then he presses a feather-light kiss onto Harry’s hair, before he’s making his way out the door, closing it gently.

He doesn’t lock the door behind him anymore.)

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

whew. i get so many nice reviews on my fics, because people are too nice to me and too kind and they give me more credit than i deserve, honestly. some of my favorite ones are the long ones, the ones that ramble on about the parts that they liked. i also like the ones when people said they stayed up to read it because they couldn’t put it down–it’s so, so flattering, because there are a bunch of fics i stayed up for, and i know the feeling, and people having that feeling over my fics are just ❤️ 😫 (although y’all should…really sleep skjdhfkjads sleep is important)

oh!!! also, i absolutely love it when i get reviews from other writers!! like for example dolce has left a review on…two of my fics and i have each review screenshotted and saved on my phone and i look at them when i’m sad jskdhkjhads i scream about dolce reviewing my fic to anyone who’ll listen tbh

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

it’s kind of shallow, but writing became really, really, really hard when i changed my laptop last august. i don’t know why, it’s like i can’t produce anything i like on my laptop. it’s a psychological thing i’m still trying to get over, even until now.

oh, it was also really hard after my uncle died.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you

ummm. i’d say the way i characterized niall in “if i had the chance, the things i would do to you” surprised me at the time i wrote it. i still have no idea how he turned out like that. but i like it hahhaha.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i think i became a bit more willing to experiment? last year was my first year writing 1d fic so i just mostly stayed in my comfort zone, writing the things i was sure about. this year saw me publishing fics that pushed my boundaries a little bit. somethin’ bout you is one. another is to kill the mess we’ve made, princess’ birthday fic. princess likes things i don’t normally write, so i tried to like, tailor the fic to her interests, which was why it had a bit of angst. my entry for the 30 days of smut was also just one huge experiment, i wanted to see if i could write harry getting rimmed. apparently i could.

also!!! i started actually, properly outlining my work. it’s a messy outline, but it’s an outline, nonetheless and it makes me feel like a proper writer every time i have to refer back to it jsfjkhads

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i hope that next year (2017) writing comes much easier? of course that’s kind of…like a farfetched ideal, writing will always be difficult but i can always hope, right? i hope that i’ll also be able to write longer fics, maybe even publish a chaptered fic one day with a long plot. i hope to also get a better grasp of harry & louis, and all the rest of the 1d characters, so i can improve the depth of character/write fics with different ships (lirry, anyone? also i want to write an ot5 smut fic that’s my dream). i also want to have a better grasp of angst to be able to spin longer, more complex plots! i have so many hopes why am i so optimistic

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i, of course, have to mention the person who got me to continue writing 1d fic after the first two i posted in 2015, the person who still consistently makes me write things and every time i give her an idea, she always says “why don’t you write it???” like wow that belief in me. the person who always reads my fics beforehand and screams about the parts she liked/parts she didn’t like (you have no idea how nerve-wracking it was to publish a fic she didn’t read beforehand. because it was a surprise. for her.) princess @britishhusbands always the best and always, always grateful for you.

other writers inspire me too, like rachel @alivingfire honestly rachel you are a huge, huge inspiration and i always tell people you’re the true mvp in the larrie fandom. @crazyupsetter is a huge inspiration as well, whoknows fics are always amazing. um. this year i also read another hazy may for the first time and @/delilah, i just. i think about it a lot. J @latitta are an immensely talented writer, and your words and your works always push me to be the best. @tornorrows i love you and your works, thank you for your words. @haydolce incredibly, incredibly talented, and your fics always make me so happy.  @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy i love your works, whether you write it together or separately, and they’re always a joy and a pleasure to read.

oh!! j @harrysramonesshirt shares the same love for pretty words and quotes and poetry as i do, and she always sends me stuff to inspire me. it’s actually because of her i started a sideblog where i just reblog all the pretty words/quotes/poems i like, and refer back to it when i need inspiration (if you’re curious, you can find it over at @/stylestiques haha) j, thank you for the poems, the words, the another hazy may playlist you made, which has been the only thing i’ve been listening to for the past few months–you’ve been such an amazing source of inspiration.

other people hm. @louisdarling i love you, you know that, you don’t have to do anything to be an inspiration, you already are. @loveliestlarry all the best, amanda, i’m still a shit replier (will i ever not be haha), but thank you nonetheless. 

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

uhhh. usually the only thing that shows up from my real life in my works is whenever the character works out/boxes/goes to the gym hahaha. mostly, i draw from other people’s experiences–the small things that other people do, stories they recount back to me, or little throw away comments that they make, usually that’s where i get the inspiration. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

i think just. don’t be afraid to try out new things. like if you like an idea/prompt but are afraid you aren’t good enough for it, try your hand at it anyway. you might just surprise yourself. 

also. “fake it till you make it”. a lot of people have an idea but are afraid to write, because they might not be good. i’ll be honest–most of the time i just bullshit my way through fics. so just. bullshit it. don’t be afraid to write shit.

(wow i’m the worst at this)

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i’m excited to finish my cuddling fic, which has already taken WAY TOO LONG. 😠. i also hope i’ll be able to finish this other fic which has also TAKEN WAY TOO LONG. i’m also looking forward to starting princess’ bday fic this year. AND RACHEL @alivingfire AND I HAVE SOMETHING PLANNED AND I’M SUPER PSYCHED FOR THAT. WE HAVEN’T HAMMERED OUT THE DETAILS YET BUT. IT’S GOING TO BE REALLY, REALLY FUN.

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

@turtlekz and @backonefish and @tornorrows hiiiii if you haven’t done this yet!!!!

*All answers should be about works published in 2016. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want. :)

[bloominglotusyoga]

5 Ways to Be Taken Seriously as a Young Yoga Teacher

Learn more: http://nosinner.com

What they don't tell you in yoga teacher training: When you start teaching as a 19-year-old, you're almost sure to get raised eyebrows from your students. Here's what one young yoga instructor learned about how to get taken seriously.

You may know your Sanskrit, but your students may question your teaching abilities because of your age. Here's how to be taken seriously.

After completing yoga teacher training during my sophomore year of college, I couldn't wait to start teaching. I was moving back to my hometown in Oregon for the summer and immediately began applying to different studios. I was surprised when I landed an interview right away. Without an audition, the studio manager asked me if I wanted to teach the next morning. And without hesitation, I said yes. Not only had I just graduated from YTT, but I had my first class lined up with no additional preparation besides my name on a 200-hour certificate.

When I realized this the night before teaching my first class, the nerves set in. That evening, I drew myself a bath infused with lavender essential oil, grabbed my YTT manual, and began rehearsing. Luckily, my training provided us with a beginner Vinyasa sequence, which we learned over the course of eight weeks. Sure, we practiced teaching student-to-student, but I was always very nervous-often forgetting what came next in the sequence even though the manual was open right beside me.

I have what it takes to teach a successful hour-long Vinyasa yoga class. This was the mantra I repeated to myself over and over that night. And, something miraculous happened after I said those words: I let go of my self-imposed expectations that I was supposed to teach like a master that first class and stopped second guessing how to cue postures and worrying about stuttering over my words. After scrambling a playlist together and practicing the sequence three times, I felt confident in teaching the next morning.

When I arrived at the studio and started checking students in to class, my confidence from the night before dwindled. I started sweating; I think I even experienced my first hot flash at the tender age of 19. Five minutes before class started, a woman walked in the studio with a concerned look on her face. It was like she could see right through me and knew I'd never taught a real yoga class before. I was busted.

See also Should You Take a Teacher Training To Deepen Your Practice?

We exchanged introductions and she asked me how long I'd been teaching. I thought, What will she think if she knows this is my first time teaching?

“I actually just got certified,” I replied.

“Oh wow! You look so young to be teaching!”

“Yeah, I am just starting out,” I said hesitantly.

She continued into studio, orange-lit from the rising sun beaming through the tall glass windows. I followed, knowing it was time to prove myself as a novice yoga teacher.

I made it through that first yoga class sweaty, nervous, and occasionally jumbling up the Sanskrit I attempted to master the night before. The good news? I didn't freeze up and run out of the room. Sure, I still had plenty of room to grow and learn, but I made it through-and still had the job when the class was over.

See also So You Graduated Yoga Teacher Training-Now What?

The bottom line: There's a good chance that teaching your first yoga class is always going to be slightly terrifying, no matter how young or old you are. Yet as a young yoga instructor, you'll likely face some specific challenges. Here's how to not only overcome those challenges, but use them to up your game as a teacher:

Don't take “the look” personally.

As a young instructor, you're bound to get a raised eyebrow or some sort of concerned look when getting to know your students. Sure, they might be questioning your age and your ability to teach yoga, but don't get in your head about it. Instead, try to understand where they might be coming from: Maybe they've never had an instructor who's younger than they are? Maybe they just have RBF (resting bi*ch face)? Maybe they loved the yoga instructor who had this time slot before you and don't like change? Whatever someone's reason for “the look” may be, simply tell yourself this: That yogi is probably here because he or she needs to relax-and maybe even release negative, built-up energy.

Have confidence in your voice.

There's nothing more distracting to a student than hearing a yoga instructor stutter or stumble when guiding a class. Your job is to be a soothing voice for your students throughout the hour-plus that you're teaching. Practice the Sanskrit pronunciations, write down your sequence and memorize it, and try your best to get all your nerves out before you walk in the door. And remember this: It takes time to develop a steady, powerful, confident voice that fills the yoga studio. Don't try to rush it; the more you teach and the more you practice, it will come.

See also Inside YJ's YTT: How Teacher Training Helped Me Find My Voice

Know what you don't know.

When you're first starting out as a young instructor, you may not know the answers to every question your students ask. I once had a student ask me why her lower back hurts in Cobra and Upward-Facing Dog. Not knowing the answer, I honestly replied: “I'm not sure why this is happening, and my advice would be to avoid any posture that is painful. I can also refer you to our master teacher, who probably has more experience with this type of injury.” Being honest with your students-and yourself-will help your students respect you as a young teacher. So, know what you don't know and don't be afraid to admit it.

Teach new sequences you've put a lot of thought and time into creating.

One of the hardest things for me as a new instructor was coming up with creative sequences and playlists. When I first started out, I would stick to the same-old Vinyasa flow class I'd learned in my YTT and teach it over and over again. Not only did I notice that my students were getting bored, but I was also was starting to get burned out. I realized I needed to learn how to create new sequences if I was going to stay relevant and keep students showing up. So, I carved out some time for Svādhyāya, or “self-study,” and developed a completely different class than the one I was used to teaching. Not only did my students give me positive feedback after class, I felt refreshed and challenged as a teacher, and started having more fun in my home practice, too.

Assist master teachers at the studio where you teach.

It's a little weird, at first, putting your hands on the hips of older students in Chair Pose or stepping in between the legs of a student in Happy Baby to press down on the soles of their feet. Yet as a new teacher, hands-on assists that help your students find their full expression of a pose is a good way to gain respect and establish yourself in the room. Since the best hands-on adjustments take precision, it's important to practice them. One great way to do this is by assisting master yoga instructors when they teach. So, ask a teacher you respect and admire if you can assist her classes once or twice a week, and find out which hands-on adjustments she likes the most (and learn her way of doing them). The benefit is twofold: Not only are you spending a class strictly focused on looking at students' bodies and practicing hands-on adjustments, but you're also showing the students in that class-many of whom might take your classes, too-that you're an instructor this master trusts. 

See also The 10 Rules of Hands-On Adjustments for Yoga Teachers