#honestly bullshit misses are just a feature of the game

[pomrania]

200-Word RPG: The RPG by @digby-official I was WAITING for someone to do a game that required other games from here. Also, because I've contributed a couple myself, there's a non-zero chance that if anyone plays this, they'll end up playing one of my games.

FUCKEDUPSPORTSBALL by @diatere This would prolly be funnier if I knew anything about blaseball (not a typo), but it still seems interesting. I'm having a hard time understanding how exactly "blessings" and "curses" work -- and I think there's a word missing in there too -- but that's not unexpected when under this wordcount. I think this one would benefit from an extra few words; not even an extra hundred, just a few more to make sure everything gets fully explained; and I'd like to read that. …and as I'm writing this particular thing, I see on my dash a post about the writer playtesting this game, so I'll see how much that clears things up. …things make a BIT more sense now, and also apparently they've discovered something that needs a rule. I'm looking forward to a further version of this game, with that included.

New Moon of the Gods by @piratesexmachine420 I just really like the stuff in the intro two paragraphs, about how they'd prepared for the wrong apocalypse and just vanished one day.

The Player is a Slayer of the Mindflayer! by @wizardshark …honestly I'm kinda surprised it took THIS long for someone to interpret "200 words" as "200 DIFFERENT words". Plus I always like rhyming stuff.

The Ramsey Affair by @arehera When reading this I was like "wait 'Erdos' seems familiar, also why is everyone here given a name", then I got to the end notes and it was indeed an RPGified math concept and all the names are references to people who did important stuff about that. Just based on that, I'd have to feature it here. But I also think it's interesting how what TYPE of connection there is, between the three people in a triangle, determines what kind of murder it was.

TPK Party by yours truly This is my last game for this event, unless I come up with one or more shitposts in the intervening time. It's basically a shared character-creation minigame, with the premise of that everyone had died in a TPK, then mostly came back in various ways. Play this to start off your next one-shot.

Word Count Starts After The Title by @moon-of-curses This is some absolute unplayable meta bullshit. I love it.

Continuation from my previous thread (because it got long), of stuff from @200-word-rpgs that I find interesting.

THE CURSE: A Rabbit and Steel Fangame by @ringedretrospective I'm not sure I've even HEARD of "Rabbit and Steel" before, let alone know what it's like. But having "apologize for what you did last night", as the single sentence for the "day" phase, amuses me greatly.

Make Brown by @thee-rat-king I like colour stuff; I also appreciate how "should or shouldn't end up brown" is a 50% thing determined at the start of the game. And that's just SUCH a cool concept, how one player gets their colour combined with that of the other.

Paleolithic Fantasy by @cavetalesz I agree with the writer (whose url is PERFECTLY fitted for this game), we need more stuff set in this… setting. And also more FANTASY stuff in that setting; heck, if we're going from the thing we commonly see in fantasy of "magic has been fading from the world", then the earlier back we go, the more room there is for magic (and also it's not like there's any written documentation to contradict it). As to the game itself, I appreciate how the "stuff you find" table includes entries with relevant stats, and then at the end there's just "the antlered man", no detail given.

Elegy For A Better Yesterday by @notsomeoneyouknow I don't have enough familiarity with John Woo movies to properly appreciate this. But from the design notes, it seems like a lot of thought went into mechanics that properly match the theme.

Mires by @i-exist-for-spleen and manguypersondude I appreciate something that, as they put it, turns "how partial a GM is inevitably going to be" into a feature and not a bug. Also, something that started with a design requirement ("no dice math") and then built from there. And yeah, when you just stumble upon a theme or concept that ties everything neatly together, that is SUCH a good feeling; the spark of inspiration that lights up the tinder you've prepared from your own efforts.

You Know How This Story Ends by @indraklyr I just think it's cool; everyone has things that will happen, then those things get placed in an order, then you play out how the things happen.

You Sunk My Battleship! by @ineffable-gallimaufry Gotta respect something that finds a way to turn BATTLESHIP, of all things, into an RPG.

[killscreen65535]

I know like objectively it's poor game design and the devs definitely did not want or intend it, AND it's widely hated and heckled by outsiders looking in on RBY formats, AND most actual RBY players don't like it. BUT. That being said. The 1/256 miss glitch is the funniest thing about playing RBY and because a lot of the metagames are (pacewise) so awkward and sluggish, you actually often aren't too devastatingly punished for missing. It doesn't even incur a hyper beam recharge. I love the 1/256 glitch and I wouldn't fix it even if I could go back in time and warn the devs of red and blue. There! I fucking said it, you dickheads! Cope!!!

[dr-spectre]

Ranting about Splatoon stories and the future of them.

(Long post ahead.)

I am PRAYING to the gods that the next hero mode for Splatoon is a lot more story/character focused rather than just doing "oh no!! (insert thing here) has gone missing! Those NASTY UGLY Octarians are up to something!! Oh no! (insert character here) has been kidnapped! GASP! Oh no! A character we know has been b-b-b-b-b-bRaiNwAsHEDDD!!!!! woahhhhh!!! We gotta save them!!"

And that's all you get for the story.

Can we just drop that for the next game? Please?

The issue with Splatoon story modes is that the interesting lore and character building is hidden away or it's hard to find. AND SOME OF ISN'T TRANSLATED THAT WELL! OR EVEN TRANSLATED AT ALL!!! Octo Expansion's art book is forever stuck in Japanese and had to be fan translated!!

The fact that in order to better enjoy Splatoon 2's mid hero mode, you need to read through a prequel web series, look at a relationship chart and read through optional sunken scrolls that are in HARD TO FIND IN THE LEVELS, pisses me off to no end.

Because of the differences between the Japanese and NOA and EU English versions, and the optional lore, it has created some of the most bullshit and annoying misconceptions about the characters featured in that story mode. And if you know me and my blog then you know EXACTLY what misconceptions I'm talking about.

I think that the only story modes to do something interesting and character focused are Octo Expansion and Side Order and even then the memcakes, chat logs and dev diaries are fully optional and it's up to you if you wanna view them or not. Sure they are easier to see than the sunken scrolls so it's more likely you'll actually read them but... It's still just optional story content at the end of the day.

If you want to learn more about Marina and her journey before Side Order, you have to 100% complete the lockers which is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE to do before you face the final boss for the first time, making Marina's speech at the end of the DLC WAYYYY less satisfying than it could have been.

Agent 8 and Captain 3 are the most popular agents for a reason, they have actual CHARACTER to them. They have stuff to chew on that you can see ON SCREEN!! Without any outside material. (for the most part...)

Eight has this whole thing with their memory loss and their thoughts and feelings on stuff in the world are explored further with the optional memcakes, they ALSO develop a strong family like bond with Off the Hook by the end of Side Order, it's really sweet honestly. A character who starts off alone and has memory loss, to then finding a group of people who cares about them, tugs at the heart strings a little. It's not the most INSANE character growth ever, but, it's still nice that there is something there, you know?

Captain 3 has gone through the most on screen pain and challenges out of any character in the series.

They start off as this kid with a smile on their face who gets dragged into fighting against the Octarians, ending up having to battle their leader DJ Octavio who has a giant ass mech at the age of 13. Years later they have to save Eight and Captain Cuttlefish from dying by slamming themselves into a blender, causing permanent scars on their tentacles and knocking themselves unconscious. Which resulted in their body getting hijacked and they were most likely completely unaware of that even happening as they wake up confused and dazed by the end of Octo Expansion.

After going through all of these experiences, they end up becoming so shy and so battle hardened that they need Callie and Marie to help them speak to others.

It's kinda sad to me that this once young kid who had lots of energy and a smile on their face, transformed into a shy and trauma ridden young adult. (I might be looking far too deep into it but i really don't care.)

Neo Agent 3 could have been the change i was looking for as they have this background of being a scavenger and an interesting relationship with Smallfry, an Inkling befriending a Salmonid is so interesting to me and there could have been some more interesting lore to come out of the Salmonids... But they didn't do that...

Splatoon 3 ROTM was somewhat disappointing in the character department as all of the optional lore was focused on Alterna and Splatsville, which is great for those who love that kind of shit and trust me, i love it too, however there was barely ANYTHING for Captain 3 and the Squid Sisters. Aside from some cute photos and a sunken scroll entry talking about Captain 3 becoming the new leader of the New Squidbeak Splatoon. There was some stuff for Deep Cut too but it was just single entries about their families and that's all.

I think that it's time for Splatoon hero modes to drop the same old format of a self insert protagonist meeting a mentor character and the protagonist trying to save something or someone, and that's all you get for story without looking at optional and hard to find content. We need to stop this tired old format that has been run into the ground. Do more story modes like Octo Expansion and Side Order but actually have character growth and development in the forefront instead of shoving it on the side somewhere, PLEASE!!!

Because of this wack ass format, the payoff to the Callie vs. Marie Splatfest was ultimately muffled and completely ruined. Because all the set up and important details were hidden away, it fucking DAMAGED Callie's character and created vile and icky misconceptions about her and especially the Octarians in the community for over 7 fucking years!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A character that i love was treated like shit by everyone for so many years man... It ruined my enjoyment of this franchise for a long time I'm not even kidding dude. I would get chest pain and feel so sad when anyone mentioned Hypno Callie in any capacity. Until i had to dig around for information and stop believing in the common and untrue narrative, then that pain almost went away.

Like... Callie did go through an arc that had agency in it, loneliness, the pressures of fame, etc., but do the loudest people in the community and outside of it know about that? Do youtubers, casual fans, reviewers know that? Most of the time? NOPE! AND IT'S NOT EVEN THEIR FAULT!!! ugh......

I do hope when Deep Cut get their inevitable second appearance in a story mode, we actually get to see character growth and lore as the main focus rather than VITAL AND IMPORTANT INFORMATION being cast away on the side.

And don't tell me "oh but Splatoon is a series made for families and kids! They hide that stuff because they don't want to expose kids to serious and more nuanced stuff they may not understand!"

I can name you several dozen children's media that actually has good writing in it if you want, just ask and i can name you so many bro. Stop treating kids like they have zero brains ffs. Good kids media also targets adults you know? Kids can enjoy the comedy, colourful characters and action while adults can enjoy the nuanced and interesting character writing. Splatoon can do that, why do you think people are so passionate about the timeline huh?

Anyways, I'm done ranting and rambling about Splatoon stories, i am going to remain optimistic for the future of this series and the stories that will come out of it. Being negative sucks and i would rather gush about something rather than rant. I'm hopeful that the next story mode is gonna be something really good...

Or they will make Frye evil via... uh... "evil Wii remote wrist strap" or some shit and claim she's brainwashed and I'll have to go through the same old song and dance AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! /j

[nnibarrel]

Baldur's gate 3. Sooo... I liked to play the game but it never got settled in me as I hoped. I think the main reason is...

The third act. 1) The plot line with illithids. The Emperor started to irritate me right on the second act, but I thought that Meh whatev. But when all the plot and narrative of the third act happened, with the Balduran reveal (so irritating and cheap to get out a famous name from the god's machine) and with the aggressive "HEY I'm good, trust me. Trust me, dammit!" put by both the Emperor himself and the writers. Honestly, down to the end I thought that was some kind of deception... But lol. It wasn't. And That was the main plot of the game. 2) The lack of the promised depth? I donno, it was not enough for me. Like with the game's companions. Maybe the game is working, but some of the quests of my dudes are just... random and dropped on the path? Like. Look I try to explain what I mean. The most frustrating thing for me is Karlach's quest. For act 1 and act 2 all her content is "bring a rare ore which you've found on a way by a miracle to the smith." And she basically never speaks about herself. She tells things like "Uuugh, hell was horrible, I'm burning from inside bla-bla"... But. My dear tiefling... Plese, what's about hell? Any specifics? People who don't know dnd world will know nothing of it, for them it's so abstract. She throws names like Zariel and... what of Zariel? She's just bad? That's so boring. Again - we don't know who she is. Not even a text note! Hell, game even drops no explanations about who are tieflings for that world. And then act 3, where we're just jumping to Gortash and finally learn little bit about Karlach. And then she dies. Unless some Wyll idea, I don't really know much and if it works. Well, and I wasn't interested after all that squid bullshit. Hate to say it, but other dnd rpgs handled it better. About characters though... I think that fic writing can do something comprehensible about that lack of content. Karlach could be interesting if there was some attention put on her biography. That means my third issue... 3) The obviousness of content that was cutted out when you finish the game and try to think about your experiences. Or... Maybe not the obviousness, I've learned about those missing or replaced content out of media discussions. It is a pity, when you know that all that you criticize could just not be there. Undoubtedly developers made a successful project but... It's overhyped and somehow no one puts the game's real issues into criticism. For ALL people around it is a Masterpiece. And that just sooo pisses me off. It's just a good game. Not a masterpiece. It is by definition not a masterpiece - it wasn't even finished by the release! Look at the countless content patches. CONTENT patches. It is god damn fine when you patch a game with the bug fixes and mb some minor gameplay features. But not the damn content changing. No, you don't change the personality of a character or their quest once the game is out. What else is pissing me off so much about game's reviews: with the success of bg3 some really smart people (sarcasm) put an opinion that every rpg now MUST be like bg3. No, it must not. shut up. 

[turtlemagnum]

i feel like the switch 2 would make sense to be about on par with a ps4/xb1 in terms of specs. that tier of tech is over a decade old at this point, they could probably make that for at least the price of the switch currently is. i highly doubt it'd be on par with current gen shit purely because nintendo hasn't been going for the latest and greatest specs ever since the gamecube flopped, the switch is in the ballpark of an xbox 360/ps3 except infinitely more usable because it was designed around games and not bullshit media features. honestly my main hope is an improved battery life. with how shit's been going for the past while, i doubt it, but god dammit do i miss the kinda battery life that you got before the 3DS. i think that given how graphics have probably gotten about as good as they're gonna get from the PS4 generation onwards, the most effort should be put into power efficiency and price. nintendo still definitely needs to go for better specs since i would argue there's still an appreciable improvement to be made from the switch, but personally i'd hard focus on just getting the best battery life and power efficiency possible. sadly i don't think hardware manufacturers are of a mind with me on this one, but eh. honestly i just hope the specs are good enough for the next open world zelda to have much more detailed/lived in cities. i think it'd add a lot for them to make places that are believably lived in, as much as i do love the settlements of botw/totk

[killscreencinema]

Shining Force (Sega Genesis)

Back in the day, when I had a Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis was just a console I played at other kids' houses sometimes, I would often be curious about the RPGs that Genesis offered. SNES was going through a golden age of RPGs, thanks largely to third party developers like Squaresoft, Quintet, and even Capcom to a degree with the Breath of Fire series.

So I'd read about games like Shining Force, Beyond Oasis, or Phantasy Star on the Genesis, and always be curious if they measured up to the likes of Final Fantasy III (aka 6 - I'm just gonna call it "3" for the sake of this review), Chrono Trigger, or Secret of Mana.

Well, I can say when it comes to Shining Force, at least, it comes very close... but falls short a bit. In the game's defense, it was developed in 1992, which a couple years before Squaresoft would really raise the bar for RPGs with the release of Final Fantasy III. One might argue they had already raised the bar with previous entries into the FF franchise, but FF III is the most ambitious and cinematic in scope by far.

But this isn't a review of Final Fantasy III... but we'll get there eventually, oh yes.

So the Shining Force's failings are forgivable, and to be honest, I probably would have overlooked them even back in 92, because the gameplay is so darn fun... for the most part.

The game is a tactical turn-based RPG, a genre I have great affection for, where you move your party into position on a map, with the objective of defeating the enemy units. It's about as simple as that. For the most part, it's very entertaining, however...

Okay, so let's get to the problems: first and foremost, the story. It's your boiler plate, formulaic, boiler plate fantasy story about an unassuming hero who is called by destiny to stop a dark force from being unleashed, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. The story could have been easily enhanced by developing the characters a little more, because lord knows there's a bunch of them that join your "Shining Force" by the game's end, but usually when they join your team, that's it for them. They almost never utter a peep again, unless you talk to them at heardquarters, but even then, they just say the same dialogue over and over. There's never any contextual changes as the story progresses. It's minor, but it can make a big difference when it comes to making the game a little more engaging. It's a shame, too, because the character design is so good.

Another issue is the menu system is clunky as fuck. We're talking Earthbound levels of Mclunky. Dealing with inventory or equipping everyone with weapons is such a tedious process. When buying weapons, the game lets you know who can use what type, but good luck figuring that out if you find one and try to figure out who to give it too (sometimes it's obviously, but other times, such as when a werewolf joins your party, it's not).

Finally, the gameplay. It's fine, as tactical RPGs go, but the game is lousy with cheap bullshit such as how often your characters miss when attacking the enemy versus how often the enemy lands BRUTAL (often deadly) critical hits. The game will also often start battles with your party on the complete opposite side of the map from the enemy, on terrain that inhibits your mobility, making it taking FOREVER to close the gap. This is particularly punishing, because one of the worst aspects of tactical RPGs is how time consuming each battle can be, which can be annoying when you get close to finishing it, but lose because your character missed but the enemy wiped you out, and now you have to start ALL OVER. UGGGGH. And mark my words, unless you play this on the Switch's Sega Genesis Online, where you can use the save state or rewind feature, you're going to be dying and restarting battles a lot.

Honestly, even with the rewind feature, I almost quit my playthrough during the final boss, because he has three heads that are capable of devastating long range area attacks and minions that endlessly respawn. It's a nightmare, but pro-tip - if you stick a useless party member at the spot where the minions spawn, they can't respawn. This makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Anyway, I complained a lot, but I mostly really enjoyed Shining Force, and I will give it this much - it was a unique direction to take an RPG in a time when turned-based JRPGs were flooding the market.

[ghenry]

Looking back on 2022, and a lot has happened this year for me! Both personally and channel-wise. I figure I reflect a bit on most of this year's videos. So here we go!

Kick-Ass | What It Means To Be a Loser

This was definitely a video style I wasn't used to doing at all, I basically saw it as an exercise in reviewing both a film and a comic. And honestly, this was a huge headache to get done because of the copyright bullshit I had to deal with. Literally rendered it like 8 different times because of that shit. And it wasn't just a money issue, getting hit with copyright and demonetization means it won't show up on people's feeds so it's important to me that each video has the potential to get out there.

The video's point: The movie was missing a huge element that made the comic at least satisfactory for me, and that was the consistent tone of the characters being downtrodden 'losers.' Another way to put it would be human. Our faults, our insecurities, and our flaws are what make us human, so that being part of the characters made them more relatable, thus more likeable. But the movie wiped the main characters of their human characteristics almost completely. I got into detail how that's the case in the video.

I did my best also emphasizing that I wasn't merely saying "movie different from comic, so movie bad." I don't even like the Kick-Ass comic that much, so I felt I was going with a less biased perspective. I even brought up examples where I found the film adaptations of some comics to be huge improvements (Scott Pilgrim will always be the shining example). Regardless, people in the comments still accused me of saying "movie different from comic, so movie bad" which is kind of annoying, but that's my fault for expecting better from typical YT comments.

Still, the video was surprisingly a hit! I'm extremely dumbfounded so many people still seem to give a shit about Kick-Ass. It kind of motivates me to make a new video comparing the sequel comic and movie, but I hate both, so I don't see myself really bothering for a while. Also one other good thing, making a video centered around a comic and/or movie is soooo much easier than a video game in regards to footage. I don't have to sift through hours and hours worth of gameplay to find a specific clip for visual context, I just remember part of the movie/comic and go there lol

No Paradise | No More Heroes 3 Analysis

Now THIS was a fucking nightmare. In a good way, mostly. A 4.5 hour analysis that took every bit of my goddamn being to write, capture, and edit. Recording all of my voice was also done in one session too, but I hope my exhaustion near the end didn't reflect my performance.

I loved talking about NMH3 extensively too. I was also extremely happy to find a lot of nuance and complexity within the madness of this game. With the help of a few friends and long conversations, of course!

The point of the video: Travis is in hell, and is doomed to spend an eternity in this hell he locked himself in all the way back in the original game. Having this in mind adds contextual sense to the previous games as well, which helps with the arguments I provide. Not that I claim to be objectively correct, the reason for this analysis was to get people thinking and talking about the game. I think if I wanted to prove ANYTHING, it's that NMH3 isn't as simple and "senseless" as a lot of people were claiming it was. And it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Take it from me, an idiot.

I am extremely proud of how the video turned out. It might even be the best one I've done, but that's not to say I can't improve. I need to improve, and I'm trying to get better at this constantly. I picked up a lot of great editing skills while making this, and will pick up more as I go. And while I didn't upload a lot of videos this year . . . do you see how long this one was?! Idunno, I think this counts as like 6 separate uploads 🥸💀

The ONE feature I want to see in future run-gun games

This video I've actually had on my mind for a very long time, I just had to finally hunker down and make it a reality. I simply had a sneaking suspicion that a lot of indie devs might not be aware of an innovate design first seen in games like Alien Soldier or Contra Shattered Soldier, likely because those aren't the universally renown classics. I think I'm at least sort of right.

The point of the video: This is a "for your consideration" piece for indie devs planning to take on the run-n-gun genre with new games. I genuinely think this mechanic can take their future titles to the next level of feel-good gameplay!

Huntdown | Run-N-Gun Revolution

My closer for the year, another run-n-gun video I simply made for myself because I wanted to. Adrian Comeau, writer/community manager for Huntdown's dev team, randomly emailed me with some steam codes, presuming I was interested in trying the game out. And I'm glad he did, as I fell in love with nearly everything about Huntdown! It was also cool to interview Adrian to get further thoughts on the game.

The point of the video: Huntdown rocks and you're a fool if you haven't played it. It also has such a rich world coated in interesting characters. It helps that the game is fun to play and has an assortment of unique, challenging bosses all sprawling with personality.

So get yourself something nice for Christmas. Buy Huntdown on Steam. Or Switch. Or PS4. Or PS5. Or Xbox. It's probably on sale right now 🎅🎄🔫

So that's what I managed to do with my channel. I also did a video on Cuphead, but don't have too much to say as it was a very straightforward video. DLC good, but I'm ready for something new by MDHR.

I know I didn't upload a whole lot, but I'm happy with everything I put out. I feel like I need to take more time on these videos in order to further refine them properly. I have tons of ideas for new videos, and can't wait to make them a reality! But I also want to make sure they're of a standard I find satisfactory, while also raising said standards. I want to get better and better!

I hope all of you have enjoyed what I've been putting out, and are excited to see what else I have in store! Here's to 2023! 🎇🎆🚀

[spookfished]

media roundup dec 2024

hi everyone :3 another backlog post from december! its always interesting to look back at something that you were super into during finals. haha. during finals week i think i read a romance novel every 2-3 days?

with this, ive read through almost every single courtney milan book that my library has to offer. they are excellent romance novels if that's your thing, but i also watched some fantastic movies and played some really good games :3 once again will be crossposted up on my website at. some point in time

books:

once upon a marquess by courtney milan: m/f romance. judith, a ruined woman from a ruined family, encounters the man responsible for her familys downfall: her childhood friend. i started reading through this series bc of the most recent installment, the devil comes reading. that ones still my favorite but this one is pretty good! the relationships between the worth siblings were really good and the banter was cute :3 i think ms milans strong sideplots come through pretty clear here--the tension of judiths search for her sister was really sad! her every wish by courtney milan: f/m romance novella. daisy is trying to bluff her way into a grant to start her business, but only one person has the confidence to bullshit his way through: her ex. ok idgaf about small businesses so i didnt read this one for a while, but crash (the love interest) is sooo charming :3 the reasons that their relationship fell apart and the way those hurts were resolved felt really good i think. yay! the pursuit of… by courtney milan: m/m romance novella. hunter, a black soldier during the american revolution, is trying to get back to his family. a british deserter with nothing better to do accompanies him. yeah this was cute. not a lot to say about it :3 the charm offensive by allison cochrun: m/m romance which i picked up bc its about a romance between the bachelor (from the bachelor) and a producer on set. (its not actually the bachelor.) very cute! very fluffy! i have to say, not quite as good as uhhhh all of the courtney milan books ive read over the past couple months but still pretty solid. dev is a cute lead but i found the other lead (charlie or sth) kinda annoying for a significant portion of the book. which i think is somewhat intentional but its like ehhh. i can find awkward tech boys irl too. (SPOILERS) liked how the 'evil ex' actually got some nuance to him too mrs martins incomparable adventure by courtney milan: f/f romance novella featuring two women over 70!!!! and its conwoman x mark?? dudeee miss milan NEEDS to write more femslash im kinda begging here. this was really light and fluffy and also just really awesome. there is a lot to appreciate about romance when youre old i think. im really into it 👍 after the wedding by courtney milan: f/m romance. ok so if you read the first book in the worth saga u know a big b-plot is about trying to find judiths sister camilla. this book is about camilla! so spoilers for that. she gets forced into a mutually unwanted wedding, and while the bride and groom try to annul the wedding they ~also grow feelings~. another milan novel with a weird amount of detail on ceramic design + manufacture? well im not complaining that part was really cool actually. camillas situation is honestly just really sad so its satisfying to see her get out of it

what happened after midnight by courtney milan: f/m romance novella. a man chases after his (former) betrothed after she runs away with his fortune? yeah this was cute. loved the melodrama

unclaimed by courtney milan: dnf. f/m romance. a woman has staked her livelihood on her ability to seduce the ultimate target: the inventor of male chastity??? lmao this is one of her earlier novels published in 2011 (i think) and it kinda shows? the premise is a little bit too unserious for me and the banter/dynamic between the main pair is just not quite as good. it also felt like it dragged a bit. however!!!! i would still extremely recommend pretty much all of her more recently published stuff!! so

love on the brain by ali hazelwood: dnf. f/m romance, but its also by the reylo author. this one neuroscientist has to work on a project with a guy who she thinks hates her, but actually he is ~super in love and too shy to say it~ my mom really wanted me to read this bc she likes the author a lot and "it has women in stem". well guys i have to say i am not a fan of the reylo author. honestly out of all the women in the book the lead is literally the least interesting one? idk it was bad. uninspiring prose. also i wasnt really a big fan of the way it focused on chauvinism and discrimination in the workplace, but thats a personal thing

comics/manga:

peace of mind (2019): short furry comic about a cosmetic brain surgeon, and some of the issues she just cant fix. yeah this was cute!!! pretty classic concept but presented in a sillyfun way imo. like literally only 20 pages i thought the art style was cute go check it out if you have the time

yugami kun has no friends: slice of life school comedy about a transfer student desperate to make friends after moving around her whole life who unfortunately gets placed next to yugami, who is THE MOST AUTISTIC BOY IN THE WORLD. i think i read this whole series in like two days lmfao its just?? extremely charming??? i really like these sort of slices of life where you get to gradually expand your cast of characters over time. everyone is sort of an ass but also trying their best in the way that high schoolers kinda are. also has some very fun will-they-or-wont-they. bro i felt straightbaited. also has some really charming art with good expressions! definitely recommend :3

to strip the flesh by oto toda: manga oneshot from an anthology. chiaki, a trans man, works as an animal dissection youtuber but feels trapped in the closet to keep his father happy. idt it hit as hard for me as it might for some people but i still liked it! wow being trans! and being meat!

movies/tv:

blade (1998): marvel action movie about vampires (and the half-vampire sworn to slay them) but like, before marvel moveis were bad. watched this with friends over the thanksgiving weekend and it was so badass!!!!!!! fuck yeah!!!! honestly id forgotten that action movies can be good but they seriously can be. full of style :3 the boy and the heron: miyazaki movie about uh, grief? and isekai-ing into a cool world with freaky stuff? i heard somewhat negative reviews from my Movie Friends before watching this, which definitely colored my impression. yeah its a gorgeous movie, but also kinda messy and not super coherent imo. mr miyazaki please quit your job and spend time with your family ok. log off christmas perfection: f/m christmas hallmark romcom. protag who just wants the perfect (IRISH) christmas is transported to a world of eternal (IRISH) christmas where her parents are no longer divorced, everyone drinks hot cocoa every day, she has the perfect boyfriend, etc. will her childhood friend be able to get her out? does she even WANT to get out? so i got this rec from a post made by @.dragonomatopoeia who is apparently the hallmark romcom expert. dude. this movie is so fucking awesome. its literally christmas coraline. i love how everything is irish for no reason and also the irish. please watch this movie

video games:

zachtronics solitaire collection: ok so this is literally just a bunch of solitaire-like games. zachtronic games is infamous for making games that feel like work (spacechem, shenzhen i/o, etc). they also included solitaire minigames in several of these, which are compiled here! most of these are arent standard solitaire games, like spider or klondike. theres a solitaire based off of kabufuda, a solitaire based on mahjong (but not like that other one.) and also my favorite, tarot-based FORTUNES FOUNDATION!! which gives you a READING at the end!!! anyways i had to uninstall this game because i was spending 20 hours a week on it.

7 billion humans: parallel programming game. in a world where robots have replaced all necessary labor, whats left for mankind to do? well, make up jobs for themselves, of course! ive grown up with tomorrow corporations dry, dark, and corporate sense of humor from world of goo and that continues, of course. a fun set of problems that gets really fucking tricky, especially if you even take the teeniest peek at optimization. also has a lot of QOL improvements from the initial game such as being able to c+p code, line by line debugging, and more! i feel like youre already going to know if this game is for you or not.

in stars and time: rpg game about TIMELOOPS!!! siffrin, an adventurer, gets trapped in a timeloop on the day of the final boss. dudeeeeee ok ive been a fan of insertdisc5s writing/art for like an embarrassingly long time and it was really cool to see it in longform. some of my friends got to see me rending my hair and wailing about this game in real time even! i think isabeau + odile was my favorite non siffrin rship, but im a huge sucker for romance so the siffrin + isa stuff really got me. and in the end i got extremely suckerpunched by Loop Obsession and also every single character + convo was very delightful so who can say!!! i remember seeing some crits saying that the writing felt too 'young' or juvenile--it definitely takes a lot of inspiration from undertale, earthbound and the like, but also i think that like. the jrpg genre As A Whole demands some willingness for like. idk Earnest and Youthful Whimsy. plus i literally am a youth so it didnt bother me lol. the game definitely can feel pretty grindy at times, but its also like…. very ludonarratively accurate? or something like that?? like. you get tired of killing the same stuff + skipping the same convos As siffrin becomes inured to the loops, as they become increasingly estranged from the rest of the party. which is honestly really awesome and captures that rpg grindy feeling like nothing else really does haha. (and theres also quite a few features to ease that friction!) even if you played the demo there are some really good twists still left in there and also i teared up at the end fr. who else thought about loop (loop)

music:

i spent a lot of this month listening to the clod by no party for cao dong and scales by king isis, which ive already talked about! so im going to spotlight a couple tracks + one album ig lol?? grace by idles: this is from idles' upcoming album tangk which im super looking forward to!!!! i love when these guys do slower tracks (such as progress and mtt 420 rr from their previous album) and this is a very nice evolution from that. has a warm but slightly eerie feeling zapper by nanoray: more jungle music!!!! this is the album that introduced me to nanoray bc i knew a guy who would just blast this kind of stuff while cleaning the kitchen. favorites are nekomata '97 and salmon cannon deluxe--i tend to listen to this album in like, airports and stuff or while cleaning? its such such a wall of catgirl-themed sound that its impossible to be anxious :P iron by woodkid: ok so i found this from the playlists for in stars and time that came out before release--specifically, the one for the king? (big villain who wants to freeze the kingdom in time forever) i havent listened to this since before finishing the game and man. listening to the lyrics with additional context is kinda crazy. anyways woodkid is apparently much better known for directing a bunch of music videos such as KATY PERRYS TEENAGE DREAM? but also makes 'chamber pop' which is when, uh, pop music incorporates a lot of classical instruments? anyways i have a lot of fondness for brass (synth or not) in pop music so this was nice <3 so melancholy… so winter…learning that this was also used for an assassins creed trailer did make me like it less unfortunately.

hey whats up. writing about stuff i read a while ago isnt as interesting huh… but i also feel the need to do things in chronological order… oh well :3 the semester starts for me very soon.. how scary. anyways if you finished reading thanks as always! dont forget to stretch your hamstrings. did you know that crab rangoon is named after the city of yangon in myanmar?

[amiablette]

◌ೄ◌ྀ ˊˎ •• 𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖐𝖎𝖘𝖘, 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗 ••  ◌ೄ◌ྀ ˊˎ

i would set the whole world on fire, just to see if our love rises out of the ashes like a phoenix; like only ours could.

◌ೄ◌ྀ ˊˎ •• 𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖐𝖎𝖘𝖘, 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗 •• ◌ೄ◌ྀ ˊˎ

“Don’t want to go home. I don’t want to be alone; I’ve got some damn bad intentions. I’ve got some secrets that I forgot to mention, I haven’t learned my lesson. I want him again, I want him again… Trying to fill the spaces that you’ve left in me. Anything that stops me from thinking about you. Trying to escape, I’m my only enemy. I really don’t want to feel anything. You left me stranded, broken and abandoned. I live for your high… Black out all the memories, trying to escape. I don’t really want to feel anything. I just want to hide the pain…”

◌ೄ◌ྀ ˊˎ •• 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖍 — 𝟎𝟐/𝟐𝟒/𝟐𝟐 • 𝟏:𝟑𝟎 AM •• ◌ೄ◌ྀ ˊˎ

Pain. That was the only word that came to Syrina’s mind. Obviously there were other emotions she was feeling but the pain, it called to her like a siren song. She didn’t understand his logic. She didn’t understand anything at this point. She thought that love was supposed to lift someone up but this feeling, this feeling was agonizing. She couldn’t take this. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want any of these emotions. She just wanted to go back. She just wanted 𝐡𝐢𝐦 back. Why couldn’t she have that? Why couldn’t she be the girl that got the guy? Why did she have to be the girl that was alone?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

That’s all she could think of. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. She didn’t understand any of this. All she wanted was to wake up from this horrible nightmare, all she wanted was Jamil. She needed him like the water she drinks, the air she breathes. She needed him and without him she was nothing. It was pathetic. The way she carried herself without him but that’s how she saw it. How could she go on without him? It was rather simple, she couldn't. She needed him. They could be damaged together because the loneliness was driving her off the walls. This sadness was crippling.

“I’m not scared. I just can’t do this anymore; this goes against everything I’ve ever known. I tried. I really tried to love you, Syrina. I honestly did but I don’t and the longer this goes on, the harder it will be for me to let you go. But I have to let you go. I just don’t love you. And I 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 will.”

Jamil’s words circulated through Syrina’s mind, wrapping into something logical. Jamil was right. He couldn’t love her, no matter how hard Syrina pushed him into something that he clearly wasn’t ready for. She had forced him into a relationship when all along they were having a good time. It was all fun and games. But Syrina, naïve little Syrina that had issues with her family needed attention. Needed love because Mallorie was never around—Zuri had moved away with Vera. This was all her fault. She was unlovable. Who would love such a pathetic naïve little girl? No one. That was the answer. Syrina Zoey Lucius had finally realized something. She was the problem.

She was worthless. Love was never on the menu for her.

Sadness consumed her features as trembling digits swiftly slid a sharp razor along her wrist, cutting the soft flesh. Crimson liquid begins to flow along with the intense tingles of pain rushing through her body due to the fresh wound. Pain. Her familiar friend, it washed over her with every thought of him. Of the life she now lives, this sadness that swallowed her whole. It wasn’t fair. She missed the girl she used to be. She missed the light that she held in her heart. The hope of a happier life but that was all a lie. Love was utter bullshit. This wasn’t a fairy tale, this was real life and in real life you only get used until the other person realizes that you were 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 the one they wanted. That you never even mattered to them. This was the realization that Syrina had come to know. That maybe, just maybe everyone would be better off without her. Who would want a worthless girl around them anyway? No one. Jamil made that known and she heard him loud and clear.

Her blank gaze focused upon the bleeding wrist prior to adding another cut and couple more without a second thought or even a doubt. Physical pain meant nothing to her anymore because the pain, the emptiness that she felt within her was enough to numb anyone. The physical pain meant nothing because she felt nothing.

Placing the razor onto the now bloody sink, her chestnut hues surveying her features as a sarcastic laughter emitted from the depths of her throat, her head oscillating slightly as her orbs narrowed into slits. She languidly lifted her right arm, as her knuckles smashed into the mirror, which caused pieces of glass to cascade downward. The sound of laughter bouncing from the walls as the crimson liquid oozed outward. A glint of her eyes in the reflection of the blade. She knows it’s over and she no longer cares. She welcomes the pain. It’s all she knows now. All she wants to know.

“I should have seen that you would only mess me up. I should have seen that you would eventually give me up… Everyone knows I’m right about one thing. You and I don’t work out. You bring out the mean in me, I bring out your insecurities. Before I ever met you, I never knew that my heart could love so hard. Before I ever met, I never knew I could be broken in so many ways.”

Rustic hues fixated on the crimson liquid, stray tears glided down her cheek as she inhaled a deep breath. “Jamil Devereaux, I want to thank you, you opened my eyes. Love is fake so this is my thank you letter.” The words uttered in a hush tone, nimble digits swiftly glided along her exposed flesh, her eyelids flutter shut as her legs begin to wobble underneath her and within a matter of seconds her frame collapses onto the marble tile. The blood oozing onto the ivory surface.

This was her curtain call and she was no longer going to allow herself to fight a battle that she couldn’t win. Love was a losing game.

[busghost]

Mind if i ask why in your opinion APHO is trash for Kiamei?

If you’ve heard my opinion before you can skip. Otherwise.

BUCKLE YOUR BRITCHES BITCHES IT FUCKING TIME FOR

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕽𝖆𝖓𝖙

(personal opinion time, don't kick my penis inside out if you disagree I'm not presenting this as if this is_** the correct way **_to think of APHO)

Not only is APHO bad for KiaMei it's a garbage ending for the entire story, which is far, far more important.

Let's just get right into the thick of it with the most important detail. When talking about Carole Mei says to Adam,

"I used to know somebody just like her",

Mei gazes sadly at the Moon,

there is a blue light on the Honkai-consumed red Moon. (note: we are told this one time and it never is visible so this one is kinda bad)

The point is Kiana is either dead, or people theorize sealed all the Honkai on the Moon with herself. Or rather 95% of the Honkai so she didn’t really save the whole world entirely. Especially with the way Mei and Theresa talk like we don't know who and what they are talking about. For all intents and purposes, Kiana is gone, implied to have sacrificed herself. Let's take a look back at Kiana's ENTIRE character arc. OH YEAH, unlearning her suicidal self-sacrificial tendencies, to the point where she won't let Hua heroically sacrifice herself. Kiana's whole speech at the end of Everlasting Flames. Finding their path back home? You get my point by now. It entirely negates Kiana's character development.

Some people tell me that it's supposed to be punishment for Mei joining World Serpent. Let me get this straight. Mei's karmic punishment for her own choices was for somebody else to fuckin die/ never see her loved ones ever again? What kinda bullshit is that? And let's say that APHO ends with Kiana unsealed from the Moon, what reason was there to wait 8 years for a "happy" ending?

APHO is a time-skip, 8 years to be exact. That puts 3 years left in the main story which doesn't add up because it's 2017 in main story and Herrschers are appearing at an accelerated rate and it’s 2028 in APHO but shhhhh. After a timeskip you don't really know the characters anymore, that's not a bug it's a feature. It's a chance to get to know them again. So how come the only thing we learn about Mei is "girlfriend gone, big sad for 8 years". Bronya was out there following her dreams, left the fighting behind her, and she's the only character in APHO that seems to have done ANYTHING different. Welt adopts a kid and makes more anime than he was before. Why be time-skip at all? To sell big boob version of the main characters.

Honestly all of this wouldn't bother me if they wouldn't be so flip-floppy about if it's canon or not. As a bubble universe/alt universe scenario I actually thought APHO was great until they started doing that. It wasn't, then it definitely was, then it wasn't, eventually they settled on it being part of the same worldline which is word nobody understands. If it is canon then they are basically spoiling the ending to their own game for what reason? To get to Honkai Star Rail already? "Quit playing the old game and play our new one"! BUT Honkai Star Rail IS a sequel to APHO because the Star Rail Trailer “Reburn 2″ has Carole, Welt, and a fucked up Moon in it. Usually you make a sequel to the main story? Although they didn't do that with GGZ and Honkai Impact.

If we could just be CERTAIN that it was canon or not I could know to give up caring on Honkai Impact cause the character development won't matter in the end.

(On every post that I make about this people send me a “you can just make/read fix-it fic” I think you’re really missing the point. I won’t want to read any fix-it fics if it ends so terriibly)

[jewish-elphaba]

Falsettos, my beloved

yay!

before i do this, I am a Jewish homosexual

ok so a huge Cube, whizzer, marvin, mendel weisenbachfeld (that is honestly the most jewish name I have ever heard) and jason are on stage. they are all (minus the Cube) dressed as miscellaneous biblical characters, and sing a song containing the word 'bitch' 72 times and counting. the song ends with them saying they are Jewish, ending in whizzer shouting "Half Jewish!", then take off the costumes to reveal normal clothes, while Trina collects the costumes in a laundry basket and reminds them that she also exists.

the Cube is taken apart to represent each scene as needed. this is universal throughout act one, so I'm not gonna mention it anymore til act 2.

marvin is trina's husband and jason's dad. more importantly, he's a weatherman. he explains that he really wants a tight-knit family, then immediately cheats on his wife with whizzer. he and whizzer are kinda concerned that they're falling out of love, although its likely the weight of reality is just crushing down on them (or something)

oh and also trina goes to a psychiatrist bc her marriage is imploding and his name is Dr. Mendel Weisenbachfeld (could this man get any more Jewish I s2g) and then marvin goes to the same psychiatrist and mendel the simp basically just asks him about trina because he wants her or smthn idk man

then jason has an identity crisis and calls his dad a slur and everyone tries to make jason also go to the psychiatrist because everyone in this family is fucked up and basically jason shows favoritism to whizzer, forces mendel to make a house call, and mendel's tiny dick explodes

then whizzer gets fed up with Marvin's bullshit and tries to break it up and trina has a mental breakdown featuring a knife, a banana, and a safety hazard

so then mendel comes over to give jason his therapy and jason basically pulls an uno reverse and therapies mendel into proposing to trina, and mendel does so with a really shitty bible analogy featuring Biblical Times

then the guys sing a song so high into their falsettos I wouldn't be surprised if their warmup is kicking each other in the balls, and trina is like 'these geeks are so immature' oh also the guys are wearing glow in the dark socks and spinny hats

then marvin loses a game of chess to whizzer and his superiority complex is broken so they break up, and trina and mendel move in together and set a date for the wedding and marvin is so butthurt he slaps trina in the face and then everyone has a therapy circle and basically forget about it. oh also jason officially comes out as straight and marvin promises to be a good dad (he's already failed)

act 2

hey look, the Cube is back! it's arranged in a precarious array that kinda looks like a house, Nancy Reagan is in there somewhere, the guys in the band are acknowledged, and cordelia (caterer) and charlotte (doctor), spiky lesbians, are introduced, and then the Cube pieces fall. oh also its been two years. and marvin is still into whizzer.

jason's bar mitzvah is being micromanaged, then he has a baseball game and sucks very much at baseball. turns out he invited whizzer, and when he shows up, marvin hides from him like a child, then makes fun of his hairline and somehow snags a date. Basically everything is fine and dandy and peachy keen and jason officially has three dads and three moms. then jason gets cold feet about his bar mitzvah and dr mendel is back at it again with the poor bible analogies informing him that everyone hates his parents

marvin and whizzer are sleeping together, and while whizzer is asleep, marvin is like, 'weird how I really love him, huh?' and charlotte discovers AIDS. marvin and whizzer's competitive streak returns for racquetball, but then whizzer collapses (bc he has aids)

at this point, the Cube is no longer a set instrument, and now there whizzer is in an actually hospital bed, and reality is looking over everyone's shoulder and whispering expletives into their ear. everybody tries to lie to whizzer and say he looks great, but then jason goes in and just fucking wrecks him.

jason really wants whizzer to be at his bar mitzvah but he's in the hospital, so he considers canceling it. then marvin climbs into bed with whizzer and they agree that they are an apple fucking an orange. also, charlotte is very concerned about whizzer's state. You Gotta Die Sometime deserves her own paragraph so here we go

Whizzer spends 3 minutes and 3 seconds fantasizing about gay shenanigans with the likes of Death himself. He is literally flirting with Death. In the homosexual way.

anyways

jason decides to hold his bar mitzvah in whizzer's hospital room, and then directly after, whizzer dies. then marvin has a vision of whizzer from beyond the grave and they sing to each other about how much they love each other. then mendel sings a song that makes me cry, and the Cube returns. a slice of the Cube is used as whizzer's gravestone, and jason places a chess piece, specifically the queen, on his grave

thank you so much for this one, I really enjoyed writing it! if I got something wrong or I missed something, feel free to mention it!

like to create a Cube, reblog to inflict a Cube upon others

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

Idk if you do one shots inspired in songs, but if so, Would you mind doing one with a Taylor Swift's song which is called "The 1"? With Mason Mount please

< i love taylor so much and i really hope i didn’t completely butcher this, but thanks for the challenge :) >

MASON MOUNT ONESHOT

the 1

( WARNING: little bit of angst and fluff?, swearing )

word count: 1.8k

Things don’t often go as we expect them to, and it’s often incredibly difficult to replan your life around that massive change and adapt your lifestyle so you can — in reality — live again.

It’s like trying to find your feet when you’re in the air — it feels impossible but you know with time you’ll eventually meet the ground again.

That’s what it felt like when you and Mason broke up four years ago.

You were fresh out of uni and at the time, you really thought he’d be it for you, and honestly, so did he. A break up thrown into the mix of having to navigate adult life just seemed to put a huge stopper on all your plans; the holiday you two had both booked for a weekend away in Ireland, the meals out with friends that you had to cancel, and the house showings you were set to attend.

Looking back on your relationship now, you realise it wouldn’t have been the worst thing to end up with Mason. All the years and effort and time put into loving him were — without a doubt — some of the best years of your life (at that stage in life), and did you regret it?

Not one single bit.

But four years is the perfect amount of time to heal, remove the salt from the wound and finish grieving.

But he was here. In real life.

You’d imagined running into him in the supermarket or on a night out with your friends, but a bus stop?

That one was weird. Mainly because you both hated catching the bus with a burning passion.

But it lead to a catch up over coffee.

It was a quiet place, out of the way of the usual lunchtime hustle and bustle in the city, and for that you were grateful. You could hear your own thoughts.

It was awkward at first, you couldn’t keep your eyes from fixating on his figure, his features, because four years can really change a person. He was much broader, his hair a little shorter, but he was still that same Mason you once loved.

You knew that because the first thing he did when he sat down was offer you that cheeky, charming smile that had you hooked from the second you met.

He’d asked how you were, and you answered honestly: you were living well, your best life, and to the fullest. And you knew and he knew that it wasn’t a lie.

He could tell by the smile on your face and the new, sparkling band on your wedding finger. He half expected that blow to sting a little — that you’d found someone and he hadn’t, but he was never one to be bitter whatsoever, at least, not when it came to you.

Instead, he offered his congratulations and the only inkling of regret he held was not being there when it happened.

I guess you never know, never know,

And if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed,

And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow,

And it’s alright now.

There was silence after that.

You had one thing on your mind, and you knew by the way he was looking at you that he was also thinking the same thing.

You took a sip of your coffee.

He mirrored your actions, seemingly startled when you placed your mug onto your saucer, the chink of porcelain against porcelain echoing around the small shop cutting through the previous quietness.

“I think I hated you for a while.” You murmured, and if Mason wasn’t leant over the table slightly, he would’ve missed the statement completely.

He nodded in understanding, his brown eyes shining with the faintest hint of guilt.

“I think I was so frustrated with the idea that we just…didn’t work, and I blamed it on you.” You paused, fingers twisting your rings.

He paused, mulling over his words, “And now? Still hate me now?”

You bit back a small smile and met his eyes, “No…I think it’d take a whole load of bad shit to get me to hate you.”

He smiled.

“That’s good to know.”

“I mean, I think it was a long time coming anyway, that break up.”

“It didn’t feel right for a while.”

“No,” you agreed, “as much as it hurt to admit, I think we just failed…as a couple. There was a point where we were just together for the sake of not giving up on the relationship, but with no real reason to continue.”

But we were something, don't you think so?

Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool,

And if my wishes came true,

It would've been you,

In my defense, I have none,

For never leaving well enough alone,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

He seemed to ponder over your words, and although he never voiced it, he came to the conclusion that you’d just put into words — perfectly — the itch that had been tickling his brain for the past few years.

“Despite that, you can’t deny that we weren’t something…” he started, before breaking off and shaking his head, as if the mere thought was ridiculous.

“We were something special. I think, had things stayed like they were in the beginning, that…you and I…” you waved your hand, tilting your head, and he nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Me too. I think…in another life we could have made each other happy. It would have been fun.”

The words ‘if you would’ve been the one’ echoed in your head, and despite the passive aggressiveness of your conscience, you found yourself holding back a smile.

“Water fights in winter and eggs with ketchup…perfect. I’d never have gotten tired of that.” You mused, and he spluttered slightly on his coffee, laughing along with you in what felt like a decade.

I have this dream you're doing cool shit,

Having adventures on your own,

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home,

We never painted by the numbers, baby,

But we were making it count,

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

“Then again, who knows? Maybe you’ll fall over in the airport and some lucky person will help you off the floor—”

“You’re about to say something cheesy, aren’t you?” Mason covered his mouth, scrunching his nose in anticipation as you nodded.

“All this nostalgic bullshit has me emotional! I swear, just this once…just this once, and I promise you can laugh about it afterwards.” You swore, holding out your pinkie for confirmation.

He didn’t hesitate, and linked your pinkie.

“You’ll find someone else. It’ll be love at first sight—hey, let me have this moment…maybe love at second sight, knowing you… you’ll go to some really magical place and have the most amount of fun you’re ever gonna have…hikes, skydiving, looking after animals I’m sanctuaries…you’re gonna have the time of your life — like Grey and Swayze.” You sniggered, unable to hold in your laughs at the ridiculous scenarios.

Mason pulled a face, unable to hide a smile.

“Okay, okay. End of story: they’ll be perfect. The Chandler to your Monica or the Robin to your Ted. But, you understand what I’m talking about, right?” You asked, sighing out of frustration.

“You’re saying I’ll find my person.” He concluded, sitting back in his chair.

“Yeah.”

We were something, don't you think so?

Rosé flowing with your chosen family,

And it would've been sweet,

If it could've been me,

In my defense, I have none,

For digging up the grave another time,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

“Like…your grandma and grandad. I want what they have.” Mason smiled.

“They’ll be pleased to hear that,” you said, “I don’t think they’re quite over us yet. You were too…you at family meals. They fell in love with you too.”

This time Mason really laughed. Really laughed. He threw his head back and the people working at the counter turned to look at him, fighting their own smiles at his carefree nature.

What you’d said wasn’t even that funny.

“Too me? Thanks, I think?”

“Oh, that’s definitely a compliment. You’re too damn charming for your own good, it’s a problem. You should come with a warning label on your forehead: EASY TO LOVE.”

“That’ll solve a lot of problems.”

There was silence.

It was relieving to say the least.

“That whole conversation was about four years too late.” You said, pursing your lips.

“Better late than never.” Mason murmured, his eyes trained on you.

The pressure on your shoulders was lifted. All the things that needed to be said were said.

As time passes, the wound heals — sometimes, but in your case, that was true, as hard as it was to come to that conclusion — and it suddenly became easier to recall the loss of what might have been without bringing you back to wishing it would be again.

It was nice.

“Would it be totally inappropriate—”

“Not at all.” You interrupted, shrugging at his raised eyebrows.

“You didn’t know what I was going to say.” He chuckled.

“I’ll have you know that years of knowing you granted me the issue of knowing what you’re going to say,” You said, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.

“What was I going to say?” He challenged, “If you get it right, I’ll get you tickets to the next game.”

You raised your brows.

“Confident, are we?”

He shrugged, a smug smirk on his lips.

“I don’t think it’s totally inappropriate to be friends.” At your words, he slumped in his chair, hands going to cover his face.

“No.” He groaned, repeating the word like a mantra as you pumped the air with your fist.

“Three tickets to the next game in the bag.” You bragged.

“Honestly.” He whined, peeling his hands away. “Why are you so difficult?”

“You offered the terms.”

“Why am I so dumb?” He rephrased.

“Ah, I'm afraid only you can answer that one.”

“The brain cells I have left don’t have enough energy to come up with an answer to a question as philosophical as that one—yes, it was philosophical to me, okay?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” You promised, putting your hands in the air in surrender.

“Just remember who’s going to give you those tickets, yeah?” He teased, sitting up.

“Abusing your power, nice move.”

“Oh…shut up.”

“Weak.” You coughed, trying to disguise the fact you said anything.

He looked straight at you, highly unimpressed by your tactics.

“Very original.” Was all he said.

“Is it supposed to be this easy?” You blurted out, spitting out the words before you could rethink the consequences of them being thrown into the abyss between you and Mason.

He knitted his brows together in thought.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, “but we were friends way before, it’s not hard to fall back into old habits. I think that’s why it’s so easy.”

[stanknotstark]

Toxic + Toxic = Healthy

Summary: You and Loki break up. Both of you deal with it uncharacteristically. Loki sleeps with girls that look like you and you mess around with Thor in retaliation. It’s all very healthy stuff here.

You and Loki had had an unceremonious falling out a couple weeks ago and called it quits on the relationship you had built. You had been dating for 6 months but Loki had started an argument about how you didn’t love him, that you lie to him, that you probably sleep with men behind his back. Everything was false, of course, you’d never do that to Loki and it hurt that he even thought that. So, you told him that you need some time to think and Loki having to have the last word said maybe breaking up is the best option. You agreed and while you saw the shock in Loki’s eyes at your agreement you were too pissed to care and left. 

What makes it awkward is that you both live in Stark’s tower and still have to interact with each other. What makes it even more awkward is that the rest of the Avengers walk on egg shells every time they’re in the same room as the both of you. 

You’re taking it like a champ, you feel. You only cry about it when you go to sleep at night, in the privacy of your own room. Sometimes when you spar with your teammates you might hit a bit harder than necessary. You even manage to speak with Loki civilly. On the outside it would appear that you’re completely fine with the break up, but on the inside and behind closed doors you’re literally falling apart. You’re sure the only person who realizes this is Natasha because that woman sees everything. 

You almost lose your composure the first time you see Loki bring a girl back to the tower. It’s only been three weeks and he’s already whoring around. You’re livid, he claims to love you then gets over you in three weeks? Bullshit. 

What you fail to realize at first is that the girl he brings to the tower kind of looks like you. It isn’t until you’re in the kitchen eating breakfast that you realize this. She comes in, only wearing one of Loki’s too large t-shirts and enjoys a bowl of cereal with you. 

You don’t get mad at the girl, you’re mad of course, but she’s not the problem. She doesn’t know what happened between you and Loki. She has no idea you even dated Loki. So you talk with her like you would any stranger. With a happy smile, a joyful voice, and morbid curiosity about having a new person in the tower. 

“It’s really cool to see the tower from the inside. I always look up and imagine what you guys live like.” The girl says with a smile at you. 

You smile back, “It’s pretty laid back, honestly. Nothing too exciting happens around here.” 

“That’s what it looks like,” The girl laughs a light laugh, “I doubt I’ll ever come back, Loki said it was a one time thing, but I’m happy I got the chance anyways.” 

You squint at the girl when she’s not looking at you because she’s eating her cereal and question everything. Loki doesn’t do one night stands. That’s what the god had told you the first time you both fell into bed together. He had explicitly stated. “If I bed you, I mean to have you forever, I do not play games when it comes to courting.”

You hum at the girl and truly look at her. Her hair is cut at about your length and although the color is a tiny bit off it’s still in the same general shade as yours. Her features are vastly different from yours but her body shape is almost exactly like yours too. 

At this conclusion you’ve thought of three things. One, Loki is trying to make you jealous. Two, Loki is showing there are many other girls just like you he can use. Three, Loki is still hung up on you and has really bad coping skills. 

You bring you mug up coffee to your lips as you ponder over your conclusion and raise your eyes when Natasha walks into the kitchen. She raises her brows at the girl, with a glance to you, who introduces herself as Nat reaches in the fridge and pulls a carton of eggs out. 

As Natasha waits for her pan to heat up so she may cook her eggs she questions the girl. 

“What is it you do?” 

“Oh, I’m an accountant for a small company here in-” The girl stops and looks at you, concerned when you start choking on your coffee, “-are you ok?” She asks, you nod still choking a little but get it under control. 

“I used to be an accountant, I started out with a small company based in Colorado then moved here when Stark offered me a better job.” You tell her. 

“Oh! I just started my job seeing how I just graduated, but it’s my dream to work for someone as significant as Tony Stark.” 

You smile and nod, “I’ll put in a good word for you, see if we can get you a promotion you can’t deny.” You say, glancing at Nat who is smirking devilishly at you. You truly do want the best for this girl but at the same time you’d like to see Loki squirm with his one night stand working in the same tower he resides in.  

The next time it happens is two days later. This time you’re in the common area with Bruce, teaching him how to play Minecraft at night when the elevator dings. You both look up and see Loki ravishing some poor girl on the elevator’s wall. They let out small moans and gasps. Then Loki turns and looks out the elevator to see you and Bruce staring at them, game completely forgotten. 

You’re sure Bruce is wide eyed and blushing like crazy, you can’t see his face seeing as he’s turned towards the elevator. However, you control your face and look bored with a raised brow at Loki. 

“My apologies, I thought I had pressed my floor.” Loki says.

The girl he was just basically eating up giggles and pokes her head around his body to look at you two. 

“We’re really sorry!” 

They both pull from each other but don’t truly stop touching, they’re just in a presentable position now. Loki pushes his correct floor number and you watch as they disappear in the elevator. 

When Bruce looks at you he’s not blushing or wide eyed. He actually looks a bit green in the face. 

“You ok?” You ask, confused. 

“It’s wrong of him to do that to you. He’s smart, has to have his floor memorized. The only way he’d hit this floor was because he knows you’re here.” Bruce says with a sigh, the green hue in his face receding. 

You chuckle, nodding to the controller in Bruces hand so he can continue harvesting his wheat. 

“It’s ok, he’s always been really bad when it comes to coping skills.” 

Bruce watches the TV as he harvests wheat but gives you a glance with a raised brow. 

“The women he’s bringing to the building look like me. Or at least the first one did for sure, I wasn’t really looking at this one. The last one even had the same job I used to have.”

Bruce frowns at the TV then realization dawns on his face. “Now that you mention it, this girl did have the same characteristics as you...” 

You hum with a small smile. “Loki is going to be Loki, I’m just trying my best to get over him and move on.” 

You watch as Bruce pauses the game and looks at you with an evil grin. You’re a little shocked because you’ve never seen the doctor show any emotions like this. His eyes are far away in thought, but he smirks with malicious intent. 

“What if you dated one of us? Not really, but in public you would kiss and hug, hold hands do all the couple stuff in front of Loki?” Bruce asks. 

Your face must be shocked because Bruce chuckles. 

Breaking from your shock you smirk back at the doctor. “And just who would I date?” 

Bruce thinks for a second, “Well Loki....” Then you see a sinister look come over his face. “Thor.”

You gasp and slap Bruce on the shoulder, “That’s evil, Bruce!”

Bruce chuckles and shrugs his shoulders with a now timid look on his face. 

“I live with a bunch of people that have perfected getting under each others skin, I’ve picked up on how to do it too.” 

“I’ll talk with Thor later. Tell him of your nefarious plan, it’s genius!” You say relishing in the fact that you’ll be able to break Loki’s heart more, the god deserves it you justify. 

You talk with Thor and kickoff the plan right away. The next morning, Loki actually comes in and has breakfast with his one night stand across from you at the table as you enjoy staring at the newspaper, waiting on Thor to come in. They’re being sickly cute, feeding each other, giggling, and just overall making you want to throw up. You know Loki is truly nothing like this, he’s just putting on a show for you. 

When Thor walks in he gives a big good morning, throwing you a smirk Loki misses because he’s too busy kissing ass to his girl. Thor makes coffee for you and brings it over to you. When he sets it in front of you he says, “Just how you like it!” 

Then Thor leans down and takes your lips into his. Thor really puts on a show and brings a hand up to caress at your jaw as he delves into your mouth with his tongue. When he pulls away you’re breathless and look up at him with adoration. Both the gods really know how to use their mouths...and tongues for that matter. 

You lick your lips and look at the girl Loki brought home when she makes a remark. 

“Looks like we’re not the only ones who got lucky!” She giggles. 

You smile at her, glance at Loki who is glaring daggers into you, then look back up to Thor as you raise your coffee mug to him and say, “Thanks, sweetheart.” 

Thor smiles down at you and offers to make you breakfast but you decline saying you need to help Tony with something. Before you leave the room Thor pulls you into another kiss, lets you go, and slaps your ass as you walk away. You give a small yelp and giggle. Enjoying every second you feel Loki glaring at you before you leave the kitchen. 

You spend a few hours with Tony just talking as he works on his suit. You came down here to hide and be happy at the whole situation that had just happened. Tony laughs uncontrollably when you tell him what’s going on. 

“This is either gonna turn into amazing make up sex or a really big argument.” Tony says, wiping a hand over his face, smearing it with oil. 

You laugh as you sit on his work table, swinging your legs. 

“As long as he hurts just as much as I do, I don’t care which one happens.” 

“That’s toxic.” Tony states without malice. “But so is Loki so it kind of cancels each other out, right?” He asks, throwing you a devious look tapping his wrench to his chin as he does. 

“Ya, we’ll go with that.” You say, jumping from the table, getting ready to leave the lab.

“Thanks for letting me hide for a bit.” You say.

“Anytime!” Tony says over his shoulder as you leave. 

You’re walking down the hallway to your room when Loki materializes out of nowhere and pins your to the wall. His left hand pins your waist to the wall, his right hand is balled in a fist and rests on the wall next to your face. His face is inches from yours, absolutely livid. 

“You play with fire without thinking about the consequences, sweetheart.” Loki spits out the nick name you used earlier.

“What? You didn’t expect me to fight back when you started fucking girls three weeks into our break up?” You ask through gritted teeth. “You were supposed to be in love with me Loki, if you were really in love you would have waited a bit longer.” 

Loki’s face turns to regret before he gets angry again. 

“You could have went for anyone other than my brother, you can’t act like you’re holier than me.” 

You scoff and push at Loki who doesn’t budge. “You started it when you brought home girls that look like me. Making me think I was expendable, replaceable.” You say, your voice cracking when you say replaceable. “I may act like I’m fine all the time but my heart is in pieces Loki. You decided to take my heart and step all over it like I meant nothing to you!” You begin crying.

Loki furrows his brows at your tears, like he actually cares that he’s the one who made them fall. 

You close your eyes so you don’t have to look at his face anymore. Silently crying there. You feel Loki wipe your tears with his right hand, his left hand keeps you pinned though which is smart because if you could break his grip you’d run from the situation. His right hand stops wiping at your tears when they stop falling and slides his hand down till it’s cusping your neck.

“That was not my intention.” Loki finally says in a soft voice. 

You open your eyes and frown at the god. “So it was just you trying to cope in a really bad way...” You say, deflating in his hold but leaning into his hand. You haven’t felt his touch in weeks and your body is practically craving it. You hate that you react like this. 

Loki gives a sad smile. “We are a concoction of toxic chemicals. We may not get a happy ending...” Loki whispers, his thumb caressing your jawline where his hand holds your neck, his eyes roaming over your face, “But I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re worth every second.” Loki finishes, closing his eyes and kissing you.

You lean into the kiss, tasting Loki and losing yourself in his mouth as he dominates your weak fighting with tongue. His left hand comes up to grab your hair and pull at it causing you to gasp into his mouth. He practically swallows the gasp and moans. His right hand squeezes your neck then drifts down over your breast, making sure to flow over your nipple, and then grabs your hip in a bruising grip and pulls your body to arch into his. 

When you pull from his kiss you look into his eyes and see nothing but love and lust. Then it changes to a frown and insecurity. 

“Did you sleep with him?” Loki whispers, not sure he wants to know the answer. 

“No.”

Loki sighs and uses both hands to hug you into his body, burying his face in your neck. When he pulls away to look at you you see the love there again.

“I love you.” He says sweetly. 

You smile up at him, “I love you too.” 

[basicjetsetter]

The Rise of Deus

♡ Pairing: Mob!Peter Parker x BlackFemale!Reader

♧ Setting: The Terrace Room in The Plaza Hotel, New York

♤ Warnings: Language, Adult Themes, Violence, +18 Smut (If you are under age, please do not read this).

♢ Word Count: 7.2k

☆ A/N: Okay, so I got a little carried away. This is such an indulgent mess, I love it to pieces. If you haven’t read The Fall yet, I suggest you read it before you get to this part. It takes a while to setup, but I promise it’ll be worth it.  Please hit like if you enjoy it, leave me a lil’ comment and a reblog if you love it. Happy reading! (P.S. I like these two characters so much, I might just write some more moments for them).

The game is in your hands. Exactly as planned.

♢ ♤ ♡ ♧

You’re not a great poker player.

In fact, compared to Peter and even Rumlow, your skills are subpar at best. The idea of betting everything on chance rankled the very fibers of your being, and you never could quite remember which hands beat which. But you were excellent at reading people.

It’s how you became New York’s best attorney. That, and because you were sharper than most people assumed you were.

Exhibit A: Rumlow.

You have to give it to him, though. He was initially difficult to read.

Earlier in the game, you tried to gauge his tells as he demolished Peter. Everyone reacts when they have a good or bad hand, whether they’re aware of it or not. As an attorney, you study your clients, plaintiffs, and sometimes the theoretically impartial jury for their tells—how they react to damning information, or rather, how they choose not to react.

The truth is in their eyes. The way they hunch their shoulders. Touch their face. Purse their lips. Breathe. Everything is a tell.

Rumlow’s whole personality screams dominant knowing, and he strategizes that way. Like he’s seen your hand before you even pick up the cards.

He plays too smart. And when he’s drunk, it becomes all the more apparent.

The way he rubbed his bottom lip before bargaining the final bet, slow and methodical, sealed the game against him. It’s not much to go off of for some, but for you, it’s more than enough. It’s a nervous habit—the movement confirming that his hand isn’t crap, but it isn’t the best, either.

You glimpsed down at your hand, then back up to Rumlow with a pleasant expression.

No, you aren’t a good poker player. But Peter is.

“Save your time, sweetheart. Let’s just get this over with,” said Rumlow, leaning back in his chair. It creaked under his muscular weight. “Fold.”

You arched an eyebrow, then crossed one leg over the other, causing the hem of your dress to ride up and show a decent amount of skin. “Don’t I get to place a bet of my own? You know, just in case my hand is better.”

Rumlow’s eyes predictably feasted on your exposed skin before he dragged them back up to your face. “What makes you think your hand is gonna be better than mine?”

“Indulge me, Brock,” you nearly purred, internally gagging as Rumlow’s breathing became labored. “If you know your hand is better, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I just want to have a little fun.” 

Part of you is grateful that Peter is handcuffed in the back of a police car, not here to witness your attempt at seduction. You needed to do it while Rumlow is still drunk enough to fall for it.

Rumlow contemplated your words for a split second, eyes dipping down once more to relish the sight of your skin while his thumb repeatedly ran over the top of his cards. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

He finally said, “Alright, I’ll bite. What’d you have in mind?”

Saccharine venom oozed into your words as you held a charming smile. “When I win, you’re going to give me $20 million, all of your inventory and routes to Peter, and I want your promise that the Scorpions will no longer operate in New York. You can go be someone else’s problem.”

The smug light fizzled out of Rumlow’s eyes, and his mouth hardened into a flat line. “Not going to happen.”

“And why not?” you asked innocently. You’re having way too much fun with messing with Rumlow’s head. “What’s so different about my demand from yours?”

“You don’t think you’re asking for too much?”

You leaned forward, letting your eyes slowly roam over his face before settling on his dark eyes, loving the way it made him uneasy, then said matter-of-factly, “Not at all. If you want everything from Peter, then I want everything from you. Only seems fair. That is, of course, if you want to renegotiate your previous proposal…?”

Rumlow sat up in his chair, staring too hard into your face. Searching for a crack in your armor. He wasn’t going to find anything that wasn’t already there. You’re sincere and know next to nothing about manipulating a game of luck, and it showed all over your face, clear as day. He’s got nothing on you.

“What is this?” He looked around the room as if there were hidden cameras on the walls, looked at the clueless faces of people spectating the game.

Tony muttered, “Well, this was supposed to be a party, but I���d say we’re miles away from that—ouch!” He groaned as Pepper elbowed him in the ribs.

“What do you think this is?” you questioned him back using the same inflection.

Rumlow’s head snapped back to face you, his eyes practically pitch-black. “A fucking setup.”

“It’s just a game, Brock. That’s all it is.” You’re surprised at how serene you sound because your heart is leaping around in your chest, about ready to burst free and fly away from the excitement of it all, but you’re conscious enough to keep the surprise off your poker face. “Do we have a deal or not?”

He filled his lungs with a ragged breath, expelling it out of flared nostrils. Pinched the bridge of his nose. Strategized. “$25 million. Everything else stays the same. His routes. His connections. You.”

You nod once. “And you accept my wager?”

Rumlow begrudgingly nodded. His knuckles turned white from clenching his cards.

“On three, we show our hands,” you said and waited, giving him one last chance to object. He doesn’t; he just keeps his hawk-like stare trained on you.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

You both turn your cards over at the same time.

Rumlow’s hand shows a Three, Four, Five, Six, and Seven, all clubs. Straight Flush.

Peter’s hand shows a King, Queen, Jack, Ten, and an Ace, all hearts. Royal Flush.

“Bullshit!”

Rumlow shot up from his chair, threw his cards to the floor, and snatched the gun from one of his men, aiming it at you.

Gasps filled the room, and you’re certain you heard Tony shout your name in alarm. Just as they’d done with Peter, the venue's guards raised their weapons at Rumlow and his men. 

You broke out into a fit of giggles. There were uncontrollable, bubbling from your lips and almost doubling you over. Maybe it was your nerves finally getting the best of you, or perhaps it was the dumbfounded shock on Rumlow’s face as he pulled a gun on you. Either way, you didn’t have a hope of taming them.

Rage intensified the crimson flush on Rumlow’s face. He barked out, “Why the fuck are you laughing?”

You struggled to pull it together. “Di-Did you honestly think you could beat Peter at poker, of all things? Seriously? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I knew you were dense, but geez.”

“He cheated. Ain’t no way he got that hand. Ain’t no fucking way.”

“Oh, come on,” you said, trying hard to stifle the giggles. “You said it yourself. Peter's a lucky son of a bitch.”

Rumlow took a minute to process the loss, eyes spacing out while the gun remained pointed at you. Your giggles died down as you sat patiently, drumming your fingers against your thigh and staring right back at the gun, uninterested. He wouldn’t shoot you. Not if he valued his life.

If Peter were here, you knew he’d be proud. Furious, yet proud.

At last, the arrogance returned to Rumlow’s smile, and he scoffed, “Congratulations, I guess. But um, I don’t really have to give you anything, you know. All bets have been word of mouth, nothing written down.”

Your smile never faltered. “Don’t do that, Brock. That isn’t how this works, and you know it. You were fully expecting Peter to hand me over to you with a nice, shiny gift bow taped to my ass and $25 million. Right? Or are you pointing a gun at me just because you feel like it?”

Rumlow shrugged with one shoulder. A hint of his anger traced his features before it faded back into an impassive mask.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m not giving you shit.”

You sighed dramatically. “Okay, fine. Be that way. But this is how it’s going to play out, regardless. You have three choices.” You ticked them off on your fingers. “One: You give me what I won and leave New York. Two: I sue your ass until you have nothing. Three: You get to deal with Peter. That last one won’t bode out too well for you.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked, snickering. “And what you gonna sue me for, sweetheart? Gambling?”

Your eyes firmed into a severe gaze as you spoke. “I had a nice little chat with Miss Shuri Udaku earlier.”

The dark look passed over his eyes again. A thick mask of indifference tried to hide his culpability before you could spot it, but you didn’t even need to see it in his face. The guilt in his tightened shoulder blared like a blinking neon sign.

Bullseye.

You forged on. “Now, if what Shuri told me is true, which, guessing by the look on your face, it must be, you’re in deep shit. And I’ll take an educated guess and presume she isn’t the only one you’ve…spoken with.”

You paused for him to defy your assumption. He remained silent, his jaw grinding.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” you inquired with a faux mask of concern. “Did I hit a nerve?”

Rumlow’s eye twitched as he lowered the gun. Defeat heavy in his furrowed brows. “I’m gonna make you pay for this. You and him.”

“Just be sure to run me my money, first,” you said. A sly smirk curled up the corner of your mouth. “I want the whole amount by tomorrow, and I want you out of this state by the end of the week, got it?”

A snarl rumbled in his chest. “Got it.”

“Good,” you smiled brilliantly. “Now get your ass out of here. And take the Dynamic Duo with you.”

Everyone lowered their weapons as Rumlow and his two shadows stomped out of the Terrace Room. You watched their backs until they were no longer in your eyesight. It’s over. You won. A rise of applause swelled after the threat ultimately left the room, catching you off guard as you moved to retrieve Peter’s cards from the ground. You curtsied for them and offered a humbled grin.

A rush of adrenaline is humming through your veins, and it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. You’re positive you could scale the Empire State Building without so much as a harness, just running on pure pent up energy. Maybe you should do this kind of stuff more often.

Steve was the first to come up to you, confusion laced in his blue eyes. “We’re letting him go? Just like that?”

“Yes.”

“He pointed a gun at you!”

You brusquely scanned your unscathed body. “No harm, no foul, Lieutenant Rogers.”

“Jesus, you and that kid are a match made in Heaven,” Steve mumbled, shaking his head in shock.

“Wouldn’t be marrying him if we weren’t. And thank you for reminding me…” You trailed off, heading in the direction of Tony and Pepper.

You had to tell Tony the truth about you and Peter before your nerve wore off, or else you’d never find the courage to ever say it straight to his face. Even as you trudged over to him, a leaden ball of anxiety smothered your chest.

Shuri sprang at you without warning, tightly hugging you and jumping up and down as she squealed, “That was so awesome! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“It was nothing,” you said mirthfully.

“It was everything! That man’s been breathing down my neck for months about those weapons. I couldn’t turn a corner without seeing him. I can’t thank you enough.” As you broke apart, she handed you an embossed card. “If Peter is interested, I would love to have a meeting with him. Maybe we could all catch lunch.”

“He is definitely interested. I’ll be sure he calls you,” you assured, beaming her a friendly smile.

She nodded in agreement then waved her goodbyes, walking away to find her companions.

Everything always falls right into place for Peter.

You shook your head in awe as you made your way over to Tony and Pepper again, this time scanning your surroundings to ensure no one else ambushed you. Once you were close enough, they both threw their arms around your shoulders and pulled you into a protective embrace. 

“We’re so glad you’re okay, sweetie,” said Pepper as she rubbed a comforting hand up and down your back.

“Don’t you ever pull something like that again, you hear me?” Tony chastised, his tangible relief choking up your throat. He pulled away to look into your eyes thoroughly. “I almost had a heart attack watching that. How could you just stare at the guy as he held a gun to you? You didn’t flinch or anything. I swear you’re turning into a different person right before my—”

You blurted out, “I’m marrying Peter.”

Tony blinked and opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off, the floodgates bursting open as you spilled everything.

“He proposed three months ago, and I said yes because I am in love with him, Tony. I am in love with Peter Parker, and I know you hate his guts because of what he does, but I don’t care. And…” you stopped, sucking in a deep breath to steady your trembling words. “And I don’t care if me loving him means you hating me. You’re like a father to me, and I respect you, but I won’t continue to let you badger me about being with Peter.”

Tony interjected, “Woah, woah, woah, pump the brakes. Where did you get the idea that I’d ever hate you for being with Parker?”

Both you and Pepper raised an eyebrow at Tony, a universal look that easily translated to Your words said it all.

“Alright, sure, I never really liked the kid. He’s this devious little mastermind who circumvents the law to get what he wants and somehow even got you. But I can hate him and still love you, hon.”

You coughed up a laugh partly because of your relief and partly because of how ridiculous Tony was. “I want you to tolerate him at least. That means no more bringing up the fact that I am his Personal Attorney, no more threats of arrest, and no more nicknames.”

Tony sighed and said, “Okay to the first two, but I can’t make any promises for the nicknames. Baby-faced Criminal has a nice ring to it.”

Your smile brightened. “Deal.” You stepped back into his hug, pressing your face against his shoulder and exhaling. Finally, having the truth out in the open felt like releasing a breath you held in for three long months.

You heard Tony add, “ ‘Sides, I already knew you were engaged.”

“What?” you screeched, stepping back. “What do you mean you already knew?!”

“First of all, ouch,” Tony groused as he rubbed at the ear you accidentally screamed in. “Second of all, Pepper is not really that great at hiding wedding preparations as she thinks she is. And Parker came to me about four months ago.”

You’re so shocked you forgot to breathe, involuntarily pulling in a long drag of air as it dawned on you that your tormented lungs screamed for oxygen. “What—what do you mean Peter came to you?”

“Your young man thought it proper to ask me for my blessing before popping the big question, and I may have expressly told him to go swim in the Bermuda Triangle.” At your expression, he quickly added. “Well, he didn’t!”

“It’s just—He never told me that he asked.” You omitted the part where Peter held your refusal to tell Tony about the engagement against you. Tony wouldn’t understand Peter’s motives any more than you could. But you were going to make him explain himself. 

A brief impression of chagrin flashed in Tony’s eyes. “I admit I wasn’t that forthcoming about it. He probably thought it’d be better to keep it to himself than tell you I said no.”

That’s not what it was, but you hummed in agreement anyway.

“Welp, my party mood’s long gone,” Tony stated, unbuttoning his jacket and loosening his tie. “Anybody else up for some Shawarma?”

| Next Morning  |

Today wasn’t unlike any other day. Phillips told you your client's location, even though you both knew the area by heart. Third floor. Cell Block E. Number 7. Always Number 7. Lucky Number 7.

♢ ♤ ♡ ♧

One of the guards, a new hire with a tag reading Lang, shadowed you as you walked out of the detention center’s lobby and into the bustling dayroom, then up to Peter’s cell. An untrained eye wouldn’t notice the guard’s careful proximity, and an untrained ear wouldn’t hear his trepid footsteps. You knew better. 

Your fiancé is many things, and cautious just happens to be a large part of his make-up. None of the inmates lounging around the dayroom dared to glance your way, not because of the authoritative figure trailing behind you, but because of Peter and his imposing rap-sheet. 

While Lang’s presence was somewhat reassuring on your way around the crowded cells, you didn’t need the security detail. You weren’t afraid of anyone in this facility. The moment you propositioned to be his attorney, he should’ve known you weren’t one to be easily rattled.

When you stood in front of Peter’s cell door, Officer Lang moved up close enough to smack the door twice, then placed the key in the lock. As the heavy metal door swung open, you weren’t sure what you might see. 

He’s been away from the action, holed up in here all night. A tiny part of you expected Peter to be pacing the floor, running his hands through his hair and wringing them together in distress, beads of sweat trickling down his neck as he counted the seconds to your arrival. You wondered what it would be like to witness God panicking.

What you saw made you smile. Peter, sitting on his squalid mattress with his body propped up against the wall, his eyes closed and mouth slightly ajar, is sound asleep. Some of his brown curls are slightly lying over his forehead, giving him the perfect air of innocence.

Lang took a half step through the door, poked his head in the room, and loudly sang, “Wakey, wakey, Parker! You’re sprung.”

Peter jolted up from his position, looking around as if he forgot his bearings. The moment his eyes landed on yours, a sly smirk slid onto his lips, and the air of innocence vanished.

“Took you long enough.”

He got up from his bed with a low groan, stretching out the kinks in his neck. His dress shirt from last night is has a few more buttons open, exposing his black undershirt, and his shoes are in the corner of the room. The guards didn’t bother giving him a change of clothes because they knew he’d be out in less than 24 hours.

“I could always leave you in here, Mr. Parker,” you said, a small, teasing smile playing at your lips.

Peter grinned back at you, then retrieved his shoes. Lang stood against the wall like a statue, head forward and hands crossed in front of him. 

When he was out of the cell, and Lang locked the door behind him, Peter addressed Lang. “She can take it from here, Scott.”

And just like that, Lang’s stoic face melted into a rueful grin as he mockingly saluted Peter and walked off, leaving the two of you alone. 

Your mouth gaped for approximately two seconds before you caught on. “You hired him to play pretend-cop?”

“Oh no, Scott works here.” Peter slipped his shoes on and unbuttoned the rest of his dress shirt’s buttons. “He just also happens to work for me while working here.”

You wanted to ask how many Scotts he had in this facility but thought against it, deciding to quietly lead him out of the dayroom and into the lobby. No one acknowledged your departure. Every single one kept their heads down and tended to business as usual. 

Peter’s driver, Flash, leaned against the car, smoking a cigarette. Once he saw you both approach, he stamped it out and immediately opened the back seat door for you and Peter.

“Good morning, sir,” he said, always overly cheerful.

Peter clapped Flash on the shoulder and said, “Hey, man. How you doing?”

“Good, sir. Thank you for asking.”

“Dude, we talked about this. Stop calling me ‘sir’ so much. It’s getting weird.”

Flash automatically nodded, saying, “Right, sorry about that,” before closing the door behind Peter. He’d call Peter ‘sir’ again by tomorrow.

Peter groaned in instant satisfaction as he sank into the leather seat. It’s a low and throaty sound, and you felt its vibrations all the way to your core, leaving a flustered mess for longer than you’re proud to say. Two years you’ve been with this man, and the lust hasn’t dimmed.

Peter got right to the point. “So, how’d it go?”

You smirked contentedly, flattening your hands across the lap of your pencil skirt. “You are $20 million richer. And you have the Scorpions’ trading routes and connections, along with a guarantee eviction by the end of the week.”

“20 million… Damn, baby, I knew you were a hustler, but that’s in-fucking-sane!” Peter whooped, turning in his seat to face you fully. His face radiated with excitement. “I bet Rumlow’s pissed.”

“Oh, yeah. He was pissed, alright. He tried renegotiating, then tried to worm out of it. It was fun to watch him squirm.” You’d never mention the part where Rumlow pulled a gun on you to Peter. Not because you cared for Rumlow’s safety in any way, but because you’ve seen how Peter reacts when someone threatens his loved ones, and you never want him to go down that dark tunnel again.

Peter leaned his head against the headrest and wistfully said, “Wish I could’ve been there. Stark didn’t give you a hard time for gambling, did he?”

The topic shift smacked you with the remembrance of what happened last night, what Tony had said. It shouldn’t have kept you up all night, but you tossed and turned with the nagging fact that Peter both hid his confrontation with Tony and had the nerve to pester you about not telling Tony something that he already knew.

For a while, you stayed up wondering why Peter even brought it up at dinner. What was his purpose? Why act cold towards you if there wasn’t a reason? Or was it even an act? Did he genuinely resent you that much for being anxious about telling Tony? Would you ever see that side of Peter again? So indifferent, so cruel. So quick to discard you.

The rest of the night, you replayed over and over how he ignored you, how he minimized you. That wasn’t part of the plan. Most of what happened before the cards got into your hands played out unexpectedly, and you understood why that had to be at some degree, but the ambiguity of it all ticked you off. Did he not trust you?

When he dismissed you, you actually thought about leaving him there alone. Was that not real?

That ache in your chest was real.

“Babe?” Peter waved his hand in front of your face. “Babygirl? What’s wrong? What’d I say?”

You couldn’t bring your eyes up to meet his. They strayed to your lap, refusing to move even as Peter hesitantly took hold of your chin with his thumb and index finger. He emphatically called your name a few times, worry intensifying more and more as an unspecified amount of time passed. Peter never dropped his hand. His thumb caressed your chin while he waited for you to speak, knowing you would.

The desire to verbalize took longer than you expected. There just didn’t seem to be a right way to say what was weighing on your mind. Outright confronting him with only inference to go off of felt childish, but so did beating around the bush. You ultimately chose to address the subject of your silence.

In a tense voice, you said, “Tony told me that you asked for his permission to marry me.”

About thirty seconds ticked away. Peter sighed, “Are you upset that I didn’t tell you?”

You nibbled on your lower lip, then brought your eyes up to meet his. Mild concern drowns his warm brown eyes, somehow increasing their depth, and frown lines creased his forehead. If this were one of your typical squabbles and he stared at you with those damn eyes, you’d have been a goner.

“No.” You shook your head to clear the effect of his gaze. “I’m upset that you asked Tony and then proceeded to act like I had an obligation to tell him something you already told him. And then you got so mad about it last night…” you trailed off in a whisper, recalling his restrained animosity, something you never thought you’d experience with him.

“I wasn’t actually mad,” he rushed.

“So you were pretending?” You asked lamely, feeling the ghost of last night’s ache lash around in your chest. “All that wasn’t real? Ignoring me? Snatching your arm away from me? Dismissing me?”

He insistently shook his head, brown curls swaying across his forehead. “None of it.” 

To you, the truth is almost as bad as the lie.

“It felt real to me.” Your voice sounds so small, it’s humiliating. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, severing the eye contact again. “The fact that you couldn’t just tell me that that’s what you were doing beforehand makes me feel like… like you don’t trust me. Like you’re willing to sacrifice my feelings for some stupid game. Like I’m a pawn.”

“Fuck,” Peter cursed, running a swift hand through tousled his hair. “No, baby, that’s not it. Come ‘ere.” 

Peter reached over the divider and pulled you into his lap despite your attempt to scoot away. You didn’t want him holding you, consoling you because even if you tried your hardest to resist him, an irrational part of your brain would immediately relent to his closeness.

You stiffened at the touch of his hand rubbing small circles on your lower back, then loudly to clear your throat. “What is it, then?” You spoke to him as if he were one of your clients. Professional. Distanced. But you couldn’t look into those eyes.

“I was giving you an alibi,” he confessed, not fazed by your tone. “In case anything went wrong. We needed to look distant so Rumlow wouldn’t catch on to how coordinated everything was.”

Okay, that’s nowhere near the answer you were expecting. Because, of course Peter would come up with a convoluted explanation that only made sense to him. Irritation rose in you like a brewing storm as you peered straight into his eyes, ignoring the visceral pull as they locked on you.

“Did it ever occur to you that I’m a grown-ass woman who can handle shit by herself? I didn’t need a fucking alibi, Peter,” you said, indignation souring your tone. “What, did you think I was going to fuck up that bad?”

“No,” said Peter firmly. When you scoff, he persists. “I mean it. I was just—I was just trying to look out for you.” He held your chin again, applying a slight amount of pressure to keep your eyes on him. “I’m sorry. You’re right, you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself, and I love that about you. Sometimes, though, I want to be there for you as much as you’re there for me, if not more.”

You stubbornly held your tongue. You’re not going to cave with a simple apology… no matter how sincere it sounded.

Peter leaned in closer, poorly hiding his smirk as he heard your breath hitch while his lips skimmed up your neck. “I’m sorry, baby,” he murmured against your skin. “I apologize for not considering your feelings.” He placed a tiny kiss on the crook of your neck, trailing the tip of his nose against your jawline. “I’m sorry for keeping you in the dark.”

An undeniable heat flickered to life within you, building as Peter’s actions grew enticingly bold. The pads of his fingers glide up and down your stocking-clad thighs, and each motion brought his hands down further and further until his whole, warm palms flattened down to massage your calves and thighs. Unknowingly, you inclined your neck to allow him to access a larger expanse of your skin.

Any resolve you cemented against Peter crumbled as a pair of lips outlined the shell of your ear. His voice comes out hoarse when he speaks, hoarse and deliberate. “I trust you with everything I have. You know that, don’t you?” His lips hover dangerously near yours.

You exhaled out a breathy, “Yes.” You do know that. He wouldn’t trust anyone else to hold those cards but you, wouldn’t trust anyone else bargaining with his assets but you.

Peter held your lowered gaze steady as he hooked his hands under your thighs and hoisted you up so you fully straddled him, your pencil skirt elastic enough to permit marginal movement. A low whine emitted from your throat as he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, then pulled away to stare at you, using the full force of his immorally brown eyes.

“Can you forgive me?”

It’d be as simple as sin to whimper out a pathetic affirmative and let him off scot-free. Excruciatingly simple. You knew he meant every word, and you were glad he let you express your anger before apologizing. You wanted to forgive him. But your mind currently wasn’t on the same circuit as your mouth, refusing to utter a single word, wondering where that would get you.

“Hmm,” Peter hummed pensively, contemplating while a predatory grin crept onto his lips. “Guess I gotta work for it, then.”

♢ ♤ ♡ ♧

Your back arched up off the bed, and you toss your head back as you gutturally cried out Peter’s name for the fourth time.

The moment you two entered the house, Peter was on you, guiding you to the bedroom with his lips attached to yours and his hands groping your backside. His hands never left your body, and once they did, it was only to tear off his clothes. You weren’t sure what you signed up for, but something glinting in Peter’s eyes, an erotic passion you’ve encountered several times in your relationship, bespoke of an intense afternoon headed your way.

Before you could even guess what that might entail, you were lying on your back in the middle of the bed, and Peter was parting your legs open.

Currently, his grip on your bucking hips remains vice-like as he keeps his face planted between your quaking thighs, still lapping up the rest of your orgasm and staring you dead in the eyes with wicked lust.

Each time he made you cum, he’d huskily ask, “You forgive me?” The first time, you were cheeky, shaking your head with a tiny pout on your lips and eagerly wiggling your hips and tugging on the silky strands of his hair for more. The second time, your body ached wonderfully, and you lazily nodded your acceptance of his apology, but he didn’t stop, tightening his hold on the swells of your hips and delving his tongue through your silken folds. By the third time, you were religiously chanting, “I forgive you,” grasping the sheets for dear life as Peter solely sucked on your clit and salaciously groaned into your core.

On the fourth orgasm, your whole body is aflame, your fingers are desperately clutching Peter’s wrists, and you’re a blissed-out, gibbering mess with tears of ecstasy streaming out the corners of your eyes.

“You forgive me?” Peter rasped, his breath fanning against your sensitive skin. He alternately kissed your inner thighs, sometimes gently sucking the skin until he left stinging love bites.

Knowing words were well beyond your reach, your jerkily bobbed your head up and down, gulping in air to calm your heaving chest.

A whine of relief breaks free when Peter finally lets go of your hips and leads a sloppy trail of kisses up your abdomen, between the valley of your breasts, along your neck, your jawline, until he claims your lips in a sensually slow kiss, one that stole away your regained breath. You mewled into it, wrapping your arms around his neck and threading your fingers through his hair. He lowered his body on top of yours, deliciously suffocating you with his body heat and his scent—an intoxicating aroma of smoky spice you only associate with Peter.

Your brain treads on a fine line near oblivion. All your mind can comprehend is Peter. His soft little grunts in your mouth, his toned chest brushing against yours, his hardened cock against your stomach as he ruts into you.

“I want you,” you panted, wanton need thick in your voice. You’re entirely spent, but you couldn’t help but crave more of Peter, couldn’t help but want him to thoroughly build you up only to tear you down all over again. 

Peter teasingly nipped at your lips, mumbling, “Where do you want me?”

You let out an impatient, low-pitched groan. “Inside me, baby. Please, Peter.” Your hips angled up on their own accord, grinding your dripping core against his cock. “Please, fuck me.”

His eyes rolled back, mouth slightly agape, and his face pinched in pleasure—what a pretty sight. Your eyes drank him all in. You loved the way he squinches up his eyes, almost as if all the sensations are too much to process. You loved how the flush creeping up his neck turned his skin a lovely scarlet. You loved watching him try to be attentive to you while being so engrossed in his own bliss.

Unhurried, Peter took himself in his hand, then slid his length through your folds before guiding his tip to your entrance. He always liked to draw this moment so he could hear the desperate noises you’d make for him. Your whole body sang out for him, from the broken moans spilling from your lips to the constant, stuttering pitch in your hips. 

At an agonizingly slow pace, Peter slid inside of you, hissing out a drawn-out Fuck. You jumped and gasped at the slight sting as he stretched you out, gripping onto his biceps and clenching around him as the sting built up to a toe-curling burn of ecstasy. 

He stroked into you with painstaking emphasis, hitting a deep spot within you that brought stars to your vision while capturing your lips in a blistering kiss. Your hands held his face as the kiss deepened, both of you moaning into each other’s mouths in carnal abandon. Yeah, it definitely tops the sex you had on the night he proposed.

Peter broke the kiss to dip his head down and favor the skin on your neck. His voice is a low murmur when he speaks, barely louder than your gasping breaths. “You forgive me?”

You practically sob out, “Yes! Yes, baby, I forgive you.” The flames are multiplying, licking up from your lower region and engulfing you as his strokes rock steadily. 

“You know you’re my everything,” he grunted, sucking down hard on your skin and laving it with his tongue after you yelp his name.

Your heart flutters as you moan, “Yes.”

“Say it, baby,” Peter mumbled, an undercurrent of firmness in his voice. “I wanna hear you say it.”

“I’m your everything.” The things this man does to you…

“Good girl.” Peter’s hand wedged between your entwined bodies, reaching down to rub your overstimulated clit, watching the tremors shaking through your body as your mouth hung open in a silent moan. “I want you to remember that,” he ordered. “You’re my everything, and I’m sorry I”—grunt—“Fuck, I’m sorry I hurt you.”

He carefully collects you in his arms before rolling over and putting you on top, wrapping his arms around your back so your bodies remain pressed together. Some of your twists cascade on either side of Peter’s face, but he doesn’t mind, keeping his head buried in the crook of your shoulder as he pumped up his hips, deeply thrusting into you. 

“You feel so good, babygirl,” Peter said roughly, his hips picking up into a bruising speed. “So wet for me.” His hands slide down your back and squeeze your ass. “Always take me so well.”

All you could manage were needy, shameless whimpers in response as his dirty words, his scorching touch, his soft lips, his slick body against yours all sent you reeling towards a rapturous release. Every stroke brings you closer to the edge, and you know Peter isn’t far behind.

With some effort, you drag yourself up to sit on Peter’s cock and brace your hands on his chest, lolling your head back as the new angle allowed him to hit a deeper spot within you.

Peter admired you through half-lidded eyes. “So fucking beautiful.”

You mustered up a beaming smile for Peter, then set your focus on riding him with the little energy you had left, slowly bouncing up and down on his thick length and loving the quick hitch in Peter’s breath as you took control. You wanted to see him writhe underneath you as he came inside you, wanted to see his pretty lips part as he called out your name. You’re so close, it’s maddening, but you’re waiting for Peter to fall off the edge with you. 

As soon as Peter’s hips began to chase yours in a broken pattern and a repeated mixture of your name and fucks streamed out of his mouth, your climax slammed into you, slightly choking you up as you came with a high-pitched, quivering gasp and cried out, “Peter!”

Peter’s crashed down on him with the same force. His hips stalled for an instant before jerking up into you one last time, your name tumbling from his lips in a hoarse groan as he filled you with his hot, sticky cum. It feels as if you’re riding the wave of your orgasm for hours, and you blissfully drown in it. Savor it. Bask in the absolute pride of knowing that this man is yours and yours alone even though you have yet to seal it with the promise of ‘for as long as you both shall live.’

The comedown is a sluggish process, like trying to swim the length of a 10-foot pool of honey. Your heart rate is the first to slow down into a stable rhythm, then the raucous hum singing in your body simmers down to a delicious buzz whose sole purpose is to remind you of the five breathtaking orgasms Peter drew out of you. Every part of your body aches when you merely think about moving, so you cave and slump onto Peter’s torso, eliciting an amused oomph from Peter as he wraps an arm around your waist. When he pulls out of you, his cum smears a sticky trail in between your thighs.

Peter brushes away some of your twists from your face to press a gentle kiss to your perspired forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you,” you echo back, leaning up a little to peck his jawline. You snuggle up closer so your head rested on his shoulder. “And I really do forgive you. Your intentions were pure, and I know you were just trying to protect me.” You reach up and grab his chin, making him look into your eyes. “But I want your complete trust, Peter. Trust that I can handle things on my own.”

“From this point on, you have my whole trust,” Peter promised. He took hold of your hand, entwined your fingers together, and then put your hands over his heart. Its slow thud matched yours. “You have my word. No more alibis.”

You laughed tiredly. “Thank you.”

For a while, you two just stayed in each other’s embrace, your eyes falling as Peter’s finger lazily traced an infinity sign around your knuckles. You’re still buzzing, and you know you should roll out of bed to wash up, but you try to save these soft moments in your memory, to help remind you of the kind man who can be, at times, too cruel for words. That’s when he’s Deus. Right now, he’s your Peter.

Seconds away from succumbing to sleep, a thought occurs to you, and you quietly ask, “Hey, babe?”

Peter sounds wide awake. “Yeah?”

“Did Tony literally tell you to go swim in the Bermuda Triangle when you asked him for his approval?”

He snickered. “I believe his exact words were, ‘Go to hell, Parker. Better yet, why don’t you do us all a favor and take a swim in the Bermuda Triangle, and become a cold case?’”

Geez, Tony. You bit your lip. “And you still asked me to marry you anyway, even though he didn’t approve?”

“I was going to, regardless,” Peter murmured, and you could hear a smile in his words. “I just wanted to try and, you know, see if I could make you a little happier. Me and Stark bump heads a lot, and I saw how it upset you, so I thought asking him for his permission would get us on the right track to some sort of civility. Wanted it to be a surprise if he did say yes.”

Unexpected tears gathered in your eyes, and your chin wobbled. He tried for you. Had been trying for you. He even noticed how his and Tony’s bouts caused you to be anxious about your future together and tried to mend the stupid rift between them, for your sake. You aren’t going to lie and say that you’re glad Tony refused. You wished with your whole heart that he could clearly see how much you loved Peter. But, from now on, you’re no longer going to be scared of what Tony thinks of Peter. You love him, and he most certainly loves you, and that’s all that matters.

You scooch up a little more and capture his lips in a deep, passionate kiss. He’s only caught off guard for a second before kissing back, wrapping both of his arms around your waist. When Peter felt the wet tear tracks on your cheeks, he brought up his hands and wordlessly wiped them away.

As you pulled apart, you rested your forehead against his and said, “I can’t wait to marry you, Mr. Parker.”

Peter lightly rubbed the tip of your nose with his, replying, “I’m already yours, Mrs. Parker.”

[onecanonlife]

for the 500 words dvd commentary track ask game

this passage from even children get older?

“Would you rather he was here, instead of me?” Wilbur asks, and it’s all very even and nonchalant, so much so that it might have him fooled if he didn’t know better, hadn’t heard time and time again exactly what Wilbur thinks of the ghost he left behind him.

“The fuck kind of question is that?” he demands.

“An honest one,” Wilbur answers.

“Right,” he says. “Because you don’t lie anymore, or whatever the fuck.”

“I don’t,” Wilbur agrees, and that is a lie. Tommy would be insulted if he weren’t so tired of it. “Really, I’d like an answer.”

“What does it matter?” he snaps. “He’s not here anymore. He’s not here anymore, and you are. No changing that. I’m fucking stuck with you. You’re like, you’re like a leech, you know that? A leech in my brain.”

Wilbur smiles tightly.

“I’d rather be a leech in your brain than dust in the ground,” he says. “Like he is.”

aa okay so i absolutely love using ghostbur to cause conflict. just, so much. and c!wilbur has never canonically addressed c!tommy’s ghostbur memorial, which is a missed opportunity that i cry about every day

so here, it’s a case of neither of them being able to understand the other’s point of view. tommy loved ghostbur, so he sees wilbur disparaging him, and that immediately puts him on the defensive. or offensive, since it’s tommy. meanwhile, what wilbur’s really looking for here is some kind of indication that tommy actually does care about him. him as he is, and not how ghostbur was (since he remains very insistent on separating himself from ghostbur and all of the aspects that he perceives as weakness). but he also thinks that he’s not going to get it; he sees tommy’s care for ghostbur and interprets it as lack of care for him. so, when he asks, “Would you rather he was here, instead of me?” he is fully expecting the answer to be yes, even though he wishes it would be no.

(and this goes without saying but internally he is not at all nonchalant he is a complete mess but still allergic to emotional vulnerability so this is what we end up with)

also featured in this passage, we have tommy being completely done with wilbur’s bullshit, which is fair and valid, along with the leech simile, which i think is probably one of my better attempts at making a true c!tommy metaphor. he has such a unique way of drawing comparisons and honestly, that’s one of the things that i really struggle to imitate when i’m writing him

and then, we have wilbur coming back for the final blow. he’s interpreted tommy’s refusal to give an answer as the affirmative that he was expecting, so he lashes out a bit, intending to remind tommy that ghostbur is dead forever and he is here to stay, no matter how little he believes tommy wants him to be here

essentially they are not properly communicating, and wilbur in particular is aiming to wound because he thinks he doesn’t have another option, because he thinks he’s already lost tommy’s love so why not deserve it?

.... he’s very stupid (affectionate) (holding gently)

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 12/?

Word Count: 4.4k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best friend’s name)

God idk what i’m doing with this but i’m liking it lmao

next one might honestly be smut idk

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Description of Blood, Gets heated, hints at trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N walked through the streets of Gotham, which were once bustling with people, but now were quiet with the occasional hooker, she had caught the city as an unlively hour, where it seemed to sleep the night away while the vigilantes of the area watched it like their lives depended on it. In some ways it did, the stories they would tell when being interviewed were horrific sometimes, but Y/N figured a decent amount of it was for dramatization, to keep the people of Gotham off of the streets to protect them all from it.

The question was always protect them from what, and they never answered. So, it never kept the people of Gotham at bay from the streets at night, and had Y/N’s car not been towed, she would have been driving home in the safe, secluded area of her car, not the vast wilderness of the streets of Gotham.

She looked up at the sky to see one of the virgate boys using a grappling hook to fly to the other building, which was such a sight to behold for someone who never witnessed a superhero beyond Superman at home. She wished and longed to know more about the vigilante, but didn’t dwell or dote on that man, because she didn’t need to.

Something told her that he was watching though, tracing every step she made to make sure she got home in one piece. She thought she was crazy, her life didnt matter more than anyone else in Gotham. He’s not following me, why would he? she thought, Even though I’m dating Jason Todd, they probably don’t know Jason, so my life doesn’t mean much more to them than any one of the hookers along this street. I’m overthinking it.

The walk home took two hours, she left Jason’s at 4am just to find herself back home at 6am, bright and early as the sun rose, ready to greet the day and all it had in store for everyone. But the things it had in store for Y/N was a class and if she was lucky, cuddling with Jason. Nothing more, nothing less.

She would open her front door, unscathed from the journey home, except maybe for a few callouses on her feet, it was the last time she wouldn't pay for more than a day of parking, that’s for sure. Heels were not the shoes you wanted for a two-hour walk home in the Autumn cold, but they were what she had.

She thought about what she was going to do next, and the first thought she had was to shower. Not because she needed to, but because she wanted to nurse the terrible headache she had and to think some things through. What she normally did in the shower.

She wanted so much more from so much of her life. the main offender of seemingly not being enough for her was Jason. Not because she didn’t want more, but because she craved more from him. He was injured, so she wouldn’t get much more rom him for the time being, and it stung a little for her. She just wanted him, maybe sexually, maybe in a more romantic setting or maybe just on her couch on a Thursday afternoon. It was all three of those options and she knew it.

She pulled out of the shower and looked at the time, 6:50am. Okay, she thought, little more time than I wanted to spend in the shower, but I guess the universe had different plans for me today. What else do you have for me, universe? And how much of you plan involves Jason?

She would open her phone after quickly getting dressed. While she still cared for her appearance, she didn’t want to dress like she owned a law firm every day, so she didn’t. Just black jeans and a black top and she felt like a million bucks. 

Just some quick outfit inspo. I like doing these a lot. I think fashion is funky :))

Artemis had sent her a message asking where she was at around 4am, she wondered why the time, but she then remembered that Artemis’ boyfriend worked with Dick Grayson, who was Jason’s brother, who worked most nights until radical hours of the night. The chances that he saw her on her two-hour walk home was high, but the chances that that had also made it back to Jason was higher. She knew she was in for it.

Hey sorry, I was at Jason’s. Fell asleep in his arms the whole shebang. And yeah, that was me who screamed the yo momma joke at the press. It was super childish, I know, but I don’t care. Those fucks are sucking my life force out of me and harassing my boyfriend, even your boyfriend.

She would then look at the articles calling her a gold digger and worth-nothing childish insulter of the press. She laughed. If the press wanted a fight from her, she was more than willing to oblige and load the canons. 

She didn’t know how to fight back that well, since it was a mainly verbal fight, and she barely even knew how to  fight physically, hence all the running and non-confrontational arguments she had had to the press.

And like fucking clockwork, Jason texted her.

Did you walk home alone or are my brothers lying bastards?

I walked. I knew someone saw me, fuck.

Why did you walk home? I thought you drove here?

I did, but we spent more than 12 hours together Jason. I didn’t buy enough hours, suddenly my car was being towed.

You could have asked for a ride home from Alfred! He would have in a heartbeat.

I was going to! But  I got distracted and it all became a blur and suddenly I was part of the way home in the dark by myself!

What if you had gotten hurt?

Well, I saw one of the vigilantes of the city on the rooftops, I’m sure if I screamed they would have seen me. They always do see that stuff.

So, your car got towed huh?

Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay it off. It’s not exactly like money my parents give me should go to my car getting towed because I got fucked over by seeing my boyfriend. 

You’ll figure it out. Sorry about the car, that’s got to suck fucking ass.

You think? I’m stuck taking the fuckin’ subway till I get my car back. I hate the subway, too many people. Far too many people. Too many eyes. It gets stressful really quickly. Might just walk every where honestly, I can’t deal with the eyes of strangers.

But you’re a C-list celebrity.

Internet is different. I can just block the bad eyes and move on with my life, you should see my block list now that some people are connecting my name to the girl who flipped off the press, thank god Twitter has a fuckin block feature.

You should really just meet my family so you don’t have to run away before they get home, would probably cause you a lot less financial stress, Y/N.

I’ll think about it.

You should think a little harder about it. I don’t want you to get your car impounded ‘cause you’re seeing me, why did you even park in pay-to-park?

Did you not see the massive mob trying to get to you? It was impossible for me to even try to pull into the driveway. Hence why I’m being insulted, you know, ‘cause I yelled at the press to get them to leave me alone. I fucking hate the press, you’re stabbed, severely injured last time they got information, and they’re harassing me, asking me what I like to do on the weekends.

Fucking vultures. Yeah, I’ve seen that. I’ve read the articles. But that’s the press for you, absolute trash and spitting bullshit in everyway.

Fucking hate the press, that’s for damn sure. Despise them. I won’t ever change that, even if, knock on wood, we break up.

Praying we don’t break up so I can see you lose your shit at the press when you’re bored.

She would get up to go make some coffee, since it was closer to 7:20am and if her roommate woke up, she could just tell her to get up anyway.

The press can suck my dick. she said.

You have a dick?

Oh yeah. Massive. 20ft long. It probably won’t even fit all the vultures.

Oh my god, that’s not as big as mine.

lmfao is it now?

Oh yeah.

Nice.

Anyway, my brothers are staying home from school today,  I think they’re making me play Resident Evil 8 with them? You know that game?

Of course. Everyone in that game is infinitely hot.

Are you bi? 

I don’t know. Haven't thought that far ahead to actually label myself. I just like people. Sometimes it’s men, sometimes it’s women. But you have to agree when you see them all. That game came out when I was still in  high school, so I’ve played the entire thing. My phone background is actually one of the characters.

Which one?

I’ll show you if I come over tonight.

My brothers might be in my room, though.

Okay, but, RE8 is an amazing game. So, worth it.

You won’t meet them normally but I pull out a game you love and you’re down?

I’m very easy to convince.

You still have notes to write when you come over though.

Oh yeah, I was probably going to have to come over both ways, just because I need those notes and you do too.

Do you not own a printer?

I barely even own a laptop, I’m waiting for my old one to come in the mail. 

How do you even manage?

With a whole lot of will and spite, anything is possible.

And that’s when her discord group chat @’ed her. She was on Do Not Disturb because she was Jason, and apparently they missed her.

Y/N! C’mere. One said.

Yes? Whatduhya want nerds?

We’ve decided to hold a fake internet wedding between you and Christopher. Another said.

A what.

We’re getting married!

Sometimes I wish I never left Metropolis and then I remember you fucks live there. Why are we doing this? You do know I have a boyfriend right? She asked them.

I don’t know, we’re bored and we miss you. We can have a bachelorette party in Gotham, if you want.

I’m this close to going back on DND.

The group chat was made way back when they had all first met in grade 9 and had been active ever since. They all had stayed in the city when they graduated though, but since Y/N received a scholarship, fully paid for, she took the opportunity and jumped.

They were some of her closest friends, even if they lived in a different city to her now, even if they were all busy with school, even if she was busy with school and a boyfriend, A lot of her life wouldn’t be complete without her crack friends in her hometown.

They had all ben partying like crazy while she was gone, and if she wasn’t so hung up in her own life, she’d probably be down there with them. 

Before you do, can you please explain why you’re screaming at the press, lmao.

Because fuck the press, dude. Why else? 

What did they do to you?

Have you seen the recent articles?

That’s true.

She laughed and finished her coffee. Jason had not responded yet, she assumed his brothers were either checking on him or they had started the game. It was around 8am when A/N finally left her room.

“I thought you were staying with Jason?”

“I was, but then I remembered he has like 9 siblings and I’m not about to meet them all. Then I walked home.”

“You walked?”

“Car got towed.”

“Fuck, can you afford the bill? I can’t.”

“Nope.”

“Guess we’re going to take the subway for a while, huh.”

She sighed and put her cup in the sink, “At least you don’t have school to go to and your lover comes to meet you, I have shit to do and places to be,” she frowned, “Inconvenient.”

“Could you borrow money from Jason’s dad?”

“I don’t borrow money from family, it’s hard enough for me to accept the money my parents send me.”

“I know it is, when’s your class?”

“3pm, I’ll be leaving at 12pm though, because the subway is unreliable.”

“This is going to be a hard hit for us.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s fucking your credit. Mine’s tanking.”

“You’ll pull through it.”

-------------------------------------------

She got onto the subway at 12:30pm. She really hated the way it was running. The people, the faces, the staring eyes of unwanted attention. People knew who she was and she hated it. She didn’t like the attention, she just liked the fucking with people. She wanted to get off the subway the minute she got on.

She eventually couldn’t take it and got off a few stops away, there was still a substantial walk towards the college, but she knew it would be. She even brought a leather jacket with her so that she could walk if she couldn’t take it anymore.

And there she was, in the busy streets of Gotham, walking to her college. Barely aware of the people who did stare at her, because she just kept walking, lost in her thought but aware of the people in her trail, the cross walks and the lights she was waiting for occasionally. She just kept walking until Artemis met up with her,

“Hey! I didn’t know you were walking to school today,” Artemis said.

“Oh! I didn’t want to, my car got towed though.”

“Your car got towed? That sucks so much. Well, we’re going the same way, so I’ve decided I’m going to walk with you, you get no say.”

“Of course. I was going to ask if you wanted to,” she laughed, “It’s more fun with a friend anyway, Art.”

“So, how are things with you and Jason, I’m legally obliged to ask as one of his friends.”

“Well, we made it official if that’s the kind of thing you want to hear,” she laughed again, “I’m sure it’s the answer Dick will eat up.”

“You’re right about that one. Dick’s a sucker for a romantic story, you should write one, since you write. He’d probably read it all.”

“Well, that would be fun, but I still don’t have my laptop.”

“You could use Jason’s?” Artemis suggested..

“Nah. It’ll be fine,” she said, “I’ll manage.”

“Aren’t you collecting notes for him for your psychology class?”

“I am, it’s not like he can go anywhere. I actually told him he’d need to walk eventually so that it’s not a learning curve when he’s healed.”

“That’s what all of us are telling him too, he’s a stubborn man, good luck with that one,” Artemis laughed, “He’s always been the stubborn friend. Worse than Will, actually, and Will is really bad with being stubborn.”

“It’s fine,” she laughed, “If you asked any of my Metropolis friends they’d say the same about me.”

“I bet you were quite the wild child in your heyday back in your city,” Artemis laughed, “I hate Metropolis.”

“Who doesn’t? It’s so crowded.”

“Uh, Clark doesn’t. He thrives there, no idea why, he grew up in Smallville. If anyone should be uncomfortable with Metropolis it should be the small-city country boy, but I guess it’s his thing.”

“I forget you know everyone.”

“We know a lot of people, are you’re slowly being let into our massive circle of very well-known people. Welcome to the group, I guess,” she laughed, “You'll either hate or love the fame that comes from this.”

“Well, if its paparazzi and press, I think I’ll hate it.”

“I can promise you right now that it’s not all paparazzi and press, we haven’t been bothered today, probably because we are on the move.”

“You shouldn’t say that, you’ll jinx it.”

“I know a lot about not jinxing it, but that’s a story for another time,” Y/N noticed that when Artemis said this her eyes glazed over and she looked upset.

“You don’t ever have to talk to me about something you’re not ready to talk about,” Y/N reassured her.

“Hey, the trauma makes me funny.”

“Two can play that game.”

They would ramble on for the rest of the walk to their college. Nothing really of substance, just getting to know each other further. She was glad she found a friend in Artemis, it would have sucked if the two of them didn’t get along, but with each word they exchanged, they had so much fun.

She even told Artemis about that time she played Katherine Howard in her school’s budget play of Six - The Musical. She was proud of the riffs she was able to do, but she didn’t talk about it often. She was never the type of brag about her achievements, no matter how amazing they were.

But Artemis and Y/N parted ways and Y/N went to her class and wrote the same, boring, scribbly and barely legible notes. She figured eventually she’d need nicer handwriting, but did she want to work on it? No.

When she finished, she saw Artemis and who she could only assume to be Wally, at Artemis’ class doors. She waved to Artemis, before Artemis called her over.

“Y/N! Hey, I would ask how class is, but this is Wally,” she gestured to the red-head boy beside her, and Y/N held out her hand to shake Wally’s.

“Hi, Wally.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you since Jason can’t shut up about you and my girlfriend likes you a lot.”

“Well that's sweet of you Artemis. You’re just so in love with me,” Y/N joked.

“Girl. You know it,” Artemis joked back.

“You two already have a close bond? That’s impressive,” Wally said, “Never seen anyone win over any of my friends this quickly,” he muttered.

They joked for a little while longer, just getting to know Wally before she had to go, she had to get to Jason’s.

The walk was a while away, so she went and sat on a park bench for a minute to check her phone, Jason had texted her.

Hey baby, are you coming over?

I am, yes. I actually just met Wally.

You met Wally and I wasn’t there to see it? C’mon.

Artemis introduced us! Go yell at her.

Oh. Never mind. I won’t do that.

Ha! Scared of her?

Maybe a little, she can be scary, okay?

You can’t tell but I’m laughing at you.

Dhmu.

That’s fine, I’ll just go hang out with Alfred and not you. He seems like he would be spiteful like me.

That’s unfair.

I thought you said don’t hit me up?

Fuck.

Checkmate.

I am upset.

No you’re not.

No I’m not.

She would walk down the street further, maybe within a couple steps to reach the Manor, when a man dragged her into an alleyway. She yelped.

“Uh, hello? Can I help you?” she asked, pretending she wasn’t terrified.

“How much would Bruce give me for you?” the attacker mumbled before he tried to knock her to the ground, but she had another plan.

He grabbed her, put his face close to hers, and she head-butted him, he would stumble back, and she started running to the Manor.

“Come here you fucking bitch!” he screamed. She could feel her nose bleeding as she ran and ran, the security saw her and pulled her into the gateway before drawing their guns and urging her to run to the steps of the Manor.

And she ran. The security at the door saw her and let her in, and yelled for Alfred.

“What is this nonsense, oh,” Alfred paused when he saw the blood running out of Y/N’s nose, “Miss Y/N, what happened to you?” he asked before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the entry-way bathroom and opening a first-aid kit.

“Okay so, what happened was I was walking to the Manor because my car got towed right? And this fucking bastard dude pops out from an alleyway and pulls me into it, asks some bullshit about how much Bruce would pay for me, when he grabbed me and tried to knock me down, when I head-butted him and started running,” she said, completely unphased.

Alfred didn’t respond to her and started to stop the bleeding when Bruce called for him, “In the entry-way bathroom, Master Wayne!” he answered.

Bruce came around the corner and saw Alfred was already tending to Y/N, “Well, this is the event where I meet my son’s girlfriend, when she is bleeding and running from a strange man in an alleyway.”

“Heh, sorry,” she said and outstretched her hand to shake his, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Bruce.”

“I can tell you’re going to be quite the addition to this household,” he said as he took her hand and shook it, “As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good. I guess you can’t get mad at Jase for being a reckless man now.”

“I really can’t.”

“Alright, you should be good, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you, Alfred. But you really didn’t have to.”

“I’ve been taking care of 5 boys and 3 girls since most of them were little, Miss Y/N. A little blood is really no big deal for me to handle.”

“That’s obvious.”

“You can go see the boys now, they’re going to ask you though,” Bruce said.

“I know.”

She walked to Jason’s room, hoping that he wouldn’t have all of his siblings in the room, he did though.

“Hey, Y/N- what the fuck happened to you?” Jason exclaimed when she opened the door.

“Oh great, all your siblings are here. Anyway, I guess,” she paused, taking in a big breath so she could run through the events quickly, “So I was walking here ‘cause my car got towed, right? When some fucking bastard man grabs me and yanks me into an alleyway and starts going off about how much Bruce will pay him to get me back or something,” she paused again, “And when he tried to knock me down by getting really close and personal to my face, like an idiot I should add, I head-butted him.”

“You did what?’

“I’m not done yet, met your dad when I actually had blood running out of my nose because that's just my fucking luck. Okay, now you can be disappointed in me,” she joked.

“I will say again, you did what?”

“Something stupid?” she said.

“You could say that again, my god, what went through your head?”

“Uh, nothing. Just survival. Fight or flight but I head-butted a man, and hi, everyone.”

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Dick,” Dick said, “You clearly are meant for Jason,” he joked, “That's something he would do.”

“Don’t encourage her, Dick!”

Stephanie got up and greeted her, “You know, Y/N, I always wanted a crazy sister,” she joked, “I’m Stephanie, the black-haired girl is Cass, and the red-head is Barbara.”

“Me too,” Cass hopped onto the joke.

“It’s something else when you meet the girl your brother is dating after she head-butted a man, apparently,” Y/N laughed, “I know it’s far-fetched-”

“Not really,” Tim cut her off, “You know Jason protected Will when they were attacked?”

“That’s Tim, by the way,” Dick said.

“So you can’t yell at me for head-butting a man!” Y/N joked at Jason while going to sit beside him, he slinged an arm around her shoulder and leant his head into her head.

“Well, you seem like a nice enough girl,” Barbara said, “Take away the reckless behavior, and you are lovely.”

“That is valid, to be honest. Not exactly the way you want to meet your brother’s girlfriend.”

“You think?” Jason asked, sarcastically.

“Ha ha.”

“See, she thinks I’m funny, why can’t you fucks?”

Y/N laughed and then asked Dick, who was playing RE8 at the time, staring at the photo of Donna Bentiveno, “She’s cute, isn’t she, Dick?”

“Have I been staring?”

“Let’s just say Angie is probably very pissed at you.”

“Oh! Whoops. There’s a point to this, I forgot.”

“I don’t blame you, I remember forgetting there was a point and the little bitch devil doll would attack you.”

“Language.”

“Oh no, you’re lame. Gross.”

“Excuse me?” Dick asked as the rest of the room erupted in laughter.

“Do you guys see why I like her now?” Jason asked.

“Uh no, she’s mean,” Dick said.

“You’re going to die if you don’t start paying attention, Dick,” Y/N said.

“Oh!” and he died.

“And that kids, is why we listen to the person who’s 100%’ed the game.”

------------------------------

Y/N and Jason would spend hours with his brothers and sisters until the sun started to set and they all scattered to their own rooms to  do their own things. you can’t keep a lot of kids in one room for so long.

Once everyone left, Y/N placed her hands on Jason and kissed him, she was actually able to be laid on his pillow, he was able to pin her to the bed. And they did just that. He was on top of her, using his one arm to prop himself up and using his other hand to touch her face.

Her hands found their way into his hair like they always did, she found a lot of joy in playing with his hair. Their tongues danced together, they never fought or anything, they just enjoyed each other when Jason let out a small moan and she let out a small laugh.

“Keep it in your pants, Tiger,” she joked, “You’re not fully healed.”

“You literally smashed your face into another man but I can’t moan when I kiss you?”

“Because I know you want more.”

“Hell yeah I do,” he said as he went back for more, actually using his strength to keep her to the bed, but she didn’t protest this time.