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skiller0dani · 4 years ago

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Intoxicated | Klaus Hargreeves

M A S T E R L I S T TUA Masterlist

smut | teen!klaus x teen!reader requests info w.c | 8.9k summary | you fell in love with klaus when you were teenagers. but after he continues to relapse, you lose faith that he will get clean. when you see him again as an adult, has anything changed?

The first time you properly met Klaus you were both around 17, and he was slumped against the wall of an alleyway. His face was bare of facial hair, and he looked far too boyish for a needle to be still in his arm. You were only out looking for him as a favor to Allison, whom you’d known since you were both children. You never paid much attention to Klaus, or any of her other siblings but after hours of incessant begging you’d finally agreed to go look for him. You still remembered her frantic voice over the phone.

“Please? If my Dad notices Klaus is gone he’ll lock him up in the Mausoleum to dry him out.”

You might not care much for Klaus or his drug habit, but you couldn’t just let Mr. Hargreeves lock him up so that ghosts can torment him while he sobers up. You know Allison is just protecting him, but you can tell even she is starting to lose faith in Klaus. It’s honestly sort of heartbreaking. But hopefully if you get him back in time, maybe you can get him sober enough to fool Mr. Hargreeves into thinking Klaus finally cleaned up.

“Klaus!” You rush to him immediately, carefully pulling the needle out of his arm. You tuck it into your bag so that Grace can help you and Allison figure out what Klaus took. You trust that Grace wont tell Mr. Hargreeves, the only thing more powerful than the programming is her desire to protect her children. His eyes are barely open when he smiles at you, his pupils blown wide open. You brush his hair out of his face, his palm twitching in yours as you take his hand to pull him to stand.

“Can you stand?” You ask him, watching as his arm limply falls from your hand.

“You’re not really here, you’ve never even looked at me twice…” Klaus mumbles through a slack jaw. That’s when his eyes roll back.

“Klaus?” You gently slap his cheeks, trying to get his attention. You sigh deeply, worried when you see his eyes roll again behind closed eyelids. Is he seizing? His body jerks once before sliding further down the wall. You know you can’t leave him here, but you also know that you need Luther to come get Klaus, you can’t move him.

“Please don’t move, I’ll be right back.” You say hurriedly, cupping his cheeks to force him to look at you. Klaus grunts in what you can only hope is an acknowledgement that he heard you before you’re standing and sprinting for the Academy. By the time you’d reached your destination and had delivered your convincing argument to Luther, it’d been 45 minutes. You lead the way back to Klaus praying to God that he was exactly where you’d left him, but you doubt it. Sure enough, when you turned the corner into the alley, Klaus was nowhere to be seen.

“Shit!” You cursed, a panicked glint in your eyes as you helplessly turned to Luther.

“Please help me find him.” You plead, grasping desperately onto his arm. Luther has what you can only describe as a scowl on his face as he turns to you.

“I’m not doing this again.” He snapped.

“What do you mean?”

“Getting invested in Klaus’s recovery, I’m not doing it again. Letting myself believe that he could get clean only leads to more disappointment when he eventually uses again.” You can see layers of old scars in his eyes, reflections of all the times Klaus has relapsed and let his siblings down.

“Luther I get it, really I do. But right now Klaus is God knows where, and when Reginald realizes-” The mention of his father causes Luther to stiffen considerably. Deep down Luther knows that Klaus wouldn’t have substance abuse issues if he didn’t spend half his childhood locked in that damn Mausoleum being tormented by the dead.

“Let’s just find him quickly.” You nearly celebrate when Luther finally relents but you don’t, instead you immediately start searching the surrounding streets and alleys in search of your resident junkie. You doubt Klaus could go very far, he’d been in really bad shape when you saw him last. He could hardly sit up let alone walk, did he crawl?

“Found him!” You hear Luther call, and when you turn you see Luther standing with Klaus slung over his shoulder at the end of the alleyway. Klaus has the hint of a smile on his face as Luther hauls him back, and you’d almost say Klaus looks entertained. Although, it could be the hallucinations making him smile like that. By the time you’d arrived back at the Academy, the mysterious needle you’d taken from Klaus’s arm earlier had been thoroughly tested by Grace.

“It’s heroin.” Allison’s shaky voice came from the doorway of Klaus’s bedroom. You turned to look at her, watching as nothing but anger fills her eyes.

“He promised me that he’d never done any hard drugs, he promised it was just weed and painkillers! And he’s injecting heroin?” You can tell that she really is hurt, you can see the betrayal in her eyes before she’s turning out of his room.

“Allison-”

“No, I won’t watch him slowly kill himself. In 2 weeks when we finally turn 18 he’ll be gone anyway. Don’t forget to invite me to his funeral.” She snaps, wiping her eyes before slamming his door shut. It was then that you’d decided not to give up on him, because the second everyone lost faith in him was the second they signed his death certificate. Loving an addict is harder than you would think, but you were willing to be Klaus’s person, so long as he was dedicated to getting better. If Klaus gives up on himself, then there’s no point. So you sat on the edge of his bed and used a rag to wipe away dried vomit on his face and neck, plus you dabbed at a closing gash on his head which was still bleeding a little.

“Y/N?” You hear him mumble, and when you look up at him again you see his eyes have cracked open. You brush his hair off his forehead, and the look in his eyes has your entire body heating up. It’s not a particularly provocative look, more of a hungry curiosity. There was still gentleness there, and a sincerity beneath it all. All his siblings have given up on him at this point, and deep down you think Klaus knows that. They’ve reached the point that the next time Klaus goes missing, they won’t look for him or even worse- they won’t even realize he’s gone. The thought breaks your heart.

“Hi.” You can’t think of anything else to say. Klaus reaches one hand up to wind into your hair, a sly smile crossing onto his face.

“Can’t say I remember the last time we properly spent quality time together.” He raises one brow, his hazel eyes twinkling mischievously.

“That’s because we never have.”

“What a shame.” The smug smile on his face makes your cheeks heat up embarrassingly. You feel all mushy in his presence.

“You have to get clean before Reginald gets home tomorrow.”

“Oh wouldn’t want to disappoint daddy dearest.” You can practically taste the sarcasm in his tone, but still he keeps that damn smile stretched across his face.

“He’ll lock you away if he finds out, stop pretending like this isn’t a big deal.” You sigh, standing to find him clean clothes. Klaus pushes himself onto his elbows, his head is swimming. The nausea twisting his gut is hard to ignore, but watching you bend over in those tight jeans has him ignoring the discomfort. He wouldn’t miss the show for anything.

“Enjoying yourself?” You ask him once you notice him staring. You use snarky comments to hide how flushed you are, how flustered you are from the heat in his gaze.

“Enjoying the view.” Is all Klaus says, and you know he can see how red your cheeks are. You shake your head as you toss clean clothes at him, quickly diverting your eyes when he begins to undress with you still in the room.

“Jesus, warn me next time!” You squeak as you turn your eyes to the ground when he tosses his dirty pair of tight jeans at you along with his shirt. You hear the zipper of his tight black jeans pull up and that’s when you decide it’s safe to look. When you eye him again, he’s sitting up on the bed pulling his shirt on over his head.

“What’s the fun in that?” Despite his snarky comebacks and the smirk on his face, you can tell he doesn’t feel good at all. There are bags under his eyes and he winces every time he moves. You place a hand on his shoulder when he tries to stand, a look he can’t quite read on your face.

“I’m gonna make you something to eat, please don’t go anywhere.” The genuine fear in your eyes as you look down at him has Klaus rooted to the bed. Suddenly a fear of letting you down cripples him then, and he can only manage a nod before you’re leaving the room.

The first time you saw Klaus overdosing you had come home from work early. It was a few months since you and Luther found him in that alleyway, and he’d made no attempts to clean up. Of course you thought he was clean and attending meetings. Klaus knew you’d be heartbroken if you knew the truth, and he was borderline worried you’d kick him out if you knew he spent most of the day high. If he knew that you’d fallen head over heels for him, he wouldn’t be worried about being kicked out. Klaus was clean the first week he moved in with you, but then came the ghosts. Their voices echoing in his head, their bloodied and battered bodies plaguing his every waking moment. He had clamped his hands over his ears to try and block them out, and he actually endured the tortuous voices for 17 hours before he gave in and popped some oxy.

“Klaus I’m back-'' Before you could finish whatever you were saying you spotted him lying unconscious on the living room floor. You dropped a glass platter and everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. You immediately scrambled towards him as the glass shattered everywhere. Your hands cupped his cheeks as tears filled your eyes, and you could not stop shaking.

“K-Klaus?” You gasped, shaking his shoulders to no avail. His body was practically lifeless, and his skin was almost gray and colorless. You lifted his wrist to check his pulse, and nearly burst into tears of relief when you felt a pulse but it was fading fast.

“Damnit Klaus!” You sobbed to yourself, leaning down to see if he was breathing. You held your breath, and prayed you would hear his faint breath. When you didn’t, it felt like you had been plunged into cold water. The panic struck you deep in your chest and you quickly sat up to perform CPR. You tilted his head back as the tears flowed down your cheeks, and you quickly started compressions. You reached into your pocket to press the stupid little life alert button you’d purchased when Klaus moved in. In moments like this you knew you needed a quick way to call an ambulance. You listened for his breathing once more, and cried softly when you still didn’t hear any breathing.

“Klaus please, please.” You didn’t know what you were pleading for, but you were so desperate for him to be okay that you couldn’t think straight. You continued compressions and then breathing into his mouth for 10 minutes before the emergency services arrived. They nearly had to pry you off him before shoving a breathing tube down his throat, and injecting him with something in a syringe. You’d climbed into the ambulance next to Klaus, his hand held tightly in yours. He looked lifeless in the hospital room, his eyes were closed and there were tubes sticking out of him. The steady beeping from the monitor was your only clue that his heart was still beating. You called his siblings, but after 5 hours you figured they weren’t going to come, you doubt they’d even listen to the message. Underneath the fear there’s anger, so much anger. How could he do this to you? He lied to you. He said he was clean! Did he ever attend a meeting or was that just a lie to go get more weed and pills?

“Hey you.” You hear his raspy voice from beside you. Once he started breathing on his own again they replaced the breathing tube for oxygen in his nose. The doctors said they would need to keep him here until he completely detoxed. There are tears welling in your eyes and you refuse to meet his eyes, you’re upset and he knows that.

“Baby I’m sorry.” Klaus tries, his hand reaching out for yours. You keep your arms folded as a tear finally falls down your cheek. Klaus hates seeing you cry and he hates even more that he is the reason you’re crying. You weren’t entirely surprised to hear him call you baby, you and Klaus have gotten close during the time he’s been living with you.

“Please look at me.” Klaus begs, a break in his voice that lets you know he has tears in his eyes. You lifted your gaze to meet his, and you see how sick he looks. His skin is gray, his eyes are sunken in and they have bags under them.

“How could you? You lied to me.” Your voice is soft, broken. This is the first time Klaus has truly let you down and you can’t help but wonder if this is how his siblings have felt every time he’s let them down. You see guilt flash in his eyes, the look in your eyes is worse than any other look Klaus has received from his brothers and sisters.

“What if I didn’t get off work early? Then you’d be dead Klaus!” You sobbed, tears wracking your body.

“Baby I swear when I get out I’ll get it together. I-I’ll clean up I promise.” A stray tear falls down his cheek and Klaus quickly reaches up to wipe it away. His hands are trembling when they reach for yours again but you still don’t budge.

“No Klaus, you’re going into fucking rehab. I can’t live with the constant fear of coming home and finding you dead. I love you too much to lose you.” The last part slips out by accident, but you can’t take it back. Klaus’s eyes widen as another tear trails down his cheek, and this time he doesn’t wipe it away.

“You love me?” How could he not know? You laugh bitterly as tears continue to cascade down your cheeks.

“Yes I do, and if you give even half a damn about me you’ll check into rehab.” You beg, your watery eyes finding his. Klaus lays his head back, his own teary eyes looking up to the ceiling before they close and he takes a deep breath.

“I love you so fucking much, so I’ll do it. For you.” Klaus finally whispers, reaching for you one last time and this time, you take his hand.

“Please tell me you’re going to take this seriously. Please? I-I can’t lose you.” You beg a few days later once Klaus was finally cleared to leave the hospital, but he would be going right to rehab. The doctors had him sign a document agreeing to be taken straight to an intensive rehab program as soon as he was released from the hospital. Klaus in all honesty was a tad bit put off by the idea of going into rehab, and was downright terrified of having to deal with the voices. Luckily he had Ben with him to help keep him sane while he was in rehab. Klaus really does love you, and he really does want to give sobriety a shot- but only for you.

“I promise, I already said I was really going to try.” Klaus sighed, turning his gaze down to look at you.

“You have no idea what that was like for me Klaus. Coming home to your lifeless body, I-I thought you were fucking dead.” You snapped, looking away from him as tears build in your eyes again. You’re so sick of crying. You feel his fingers grasping your chin, turning your head to look at him.

“I’m not dead baby, I’m here. I’m gonna get clean, and I’m gonna stay clean. I promise.” Klaus whispered before pressing his lips against yours. What you didn’t know then was that Klaus would be making that promise a hundred more times, and he’d be breaking it a hundred times. Deep down he didn’t want to get clean, he didn’t care enough about himself to try. The dead were too overwhelming, too scary, too much. Klaus couldn’t handle it, he didn’t want to. What he wanted was to be completely numb. The kiss was watery, but you pressed against him with such ferocity you almost took him by surprise.

“Mr. Hargreeves? The van is here.” A nurse says, clearing her throat awkwardly from the door. Klaus breaks the kiss first, his forehead pressed against yours. You can’t stop the tears as they trail down your cheeks. You sling his bag over your shoulder as the two of you head outside together. You see a man in scrubs take Klaus’s bag as other patients from the hospital pile into the van.

“I’ll only be gone for 3 months. Be back in a flash.” Klaus smiles, but the mischievousness doesn’t quite meet his eyes.

“I love you.” You whisper as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you.” Is the last thing you hear him whisper before he’s climbing into the van.

Klaus’s sobriety didn’t last long after rehab. Sure he’d attended all the group therapy sessions, and the annual detox therapy, he saw his therapist and followed the steps. He’d gone through the entire agonizing process of detoxing from the drugs. He wanted to be better, but then the voices came once more. Wailing in his ear about how desperately they wished to be alive, all the horrible details of their death, all the people they left behind. Ben tried to talk Klaus through it, to help him embrace his powers rather than reject them. But when Klaus sat straight up in bed, your sleeping body next to him and a thousand desperate voices screaming in his head he couldn’t take anymore.

“Don’t do this.” Ben pleaded, although he sounded defeated more than desperate. But Klaus’s shaking hands were already reaching for the closest pair of pants, which happened to be one of your skirts. Klaus was way more than itching for a fix, he was downright clawing for one. His eyes were wild as he stood up slowly, careful not to wake you up.

“She trusts you Klaus.” Ben tries again, he’s begun resorting to guilt tripping to keep Klaus sober. For the last few days it’s seemed to work, but Ben doubts it’s going to work now. Klaus is too far gone. “That isn’t going to last forever, eventually she will give up on you.”

“Shut up.” Klaus hisses, pulling sneakers on before turning for the door of the apartment. Ben appears in the doorway of the staircase, and Klaus raises a brow.

“Save whatever speech you have planned, I need it now.” Klaus says desperately, walking down the stairs- through Ben.

“Screw you Klaus, you’re taking advantage of her!” Ben snaps, you may not know Ben is around but he’s gotten to know you. He cares about you, in a sisterly way, and he hates seeing Klaus take your love and throw it away.

“Shut the hell up Ben.” There is genuine anger in Klaus’s tone now, his fists clenched as he continued towards where his normal dealer hangs out. Ben doesn’t particularly like hurting Klaus, but dammit someone has to stop him from destroying his own life.

“If you really cared about Y/N, you’d turn around and go home. She’s still laying in bed, thinking you’re next to her. How amazing is it that she wants you to be next to her, and you don’t seem to care at all. If I was alive, I’d love her right.” Ben yells, and this causes Klaus to freeze.

“Like hell you could! Y/N only wants me.” Klaus insists, but Ben can see the insecurity swirling in his eyes.

“For how long? When she realizes you relapsed again she isn’t going to want anything to do with you. Or you could go home Klaus, and put her first for once.” Ben says, his voice calmer this time. Tears well in Klaus’s eyes, he loves you more than anything on this whole planet.

“I’m sorry, I need it.” Klaus whispers before turning down the alley to see his dealer. This time, Ben doesn’t follow him. He can’t watch Klaus overdose again, he can’t watch him throw you away for drugs.

The first time you have sex with Klaus, he was high. You don’t know that, and Klaus knows exactly how you’d react if you did. It was a month since Klaus had gotten out of rehab, and you believed it also signaled a month of sobriety for him. In reality, Klaus hadn’t even made it a week before he relapsed after rehab. You wanted to celebrate with him, to do something nice for him. Ben watched you light candles while Klaus took a “nap”. It made him sick to see you do so many nice things for Klaus, while Klaus was really shooting up in your shared bathroom. You’re out here setting up something nice to celebrate Klaus’s sobriety, and he’s injecting heroin into his veins. It truly does make Ben sick. You lit the last candle, and when you reached up to remove your robe and reveal your lingerie- Ben disappeared. He isn't a pervert, he knew where this was going.

“Klaus?” You called nervously, smoothing your babydoll lace as you sat on the bed. You knew you wanted this, you were just nervous. When he emerged from the bathroom, his eyes widened as they landed on your nearly exposed breasts. He’d never seen you so naked before. Klaus swallowed a thick lump in his throat, and suddenly everything felt hotter, and tighter.

“Hey.” Is all he can say before an easy smile makes its way across his face.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on 1 month of sobriety.” You say softly with a smile, and then all the happiness drains away. Klaus feels sick to his stomach as guilt nearly brings him to his knees. You believe in him, and he’s pissing it all away. He wished he was stronger, but he isn’t. Klaus is weak and he isn’t worth it, and soon you’re going to realize that.

“You didn’t have to do this.” Klaus whispers and you shrug with a nervous smile on your face.

“You don’t like it?” You ask, your eyes widening. You’re really putting yourself out there and you can only hope he likes this. Klaus takes a step forward, his hands landing on your hips.

“No baby I do! I love this.” Klaus reassures you, and you feel your cheeks heat up when you see his eyes go wandering down your body. HIs lips lower to yours then and you feel like you’re up in the clouds. Klaus feels his heart breaking with every tender movement, every gentle brush of your fingers through his hair. It’s all he can do but to grab you and press you against his body with a bruising force. The desperation in his movements is what catches you off guard, his hands are hauling your thighs up around his waist. Normally Klaus isn’t this assertive in the bedroom, but he needs to feel your skin against his. He needs to know you’re here with him, because soon you won’t be. He knows that.

It’s not long before you’re undressed and your legs are spread open for him, and Klaus has no idea what he ever did to deserve you. Deep down he knows he doesn’t, you deserve someone like Ben. Maybe that’s why what Ben said really struck a nerve, because deep down Klaus knows if Ben were alive- you’d choose him. You’d never choose Klaus if he were being compared to Ben. Klaus grasps his cock in his hand before guiding the head into your tight opening, and when he pushes into you- it feels like absolute heaven. But there’s only one thought on Klaus’s mind, I don’t deserve this.

The second time you see Klaus overdose, it’s the morning after the best night of your life. It’s the morning after you sleep with him, the morning after you feel truly connected to him like you’re one. You stretched with a yawn, a smile on your face as your hand reaches over to where Klaus is sleeping next to you. When your hand finds cold sheets your eyes blink open, he’s already awake?

“Klaus?” You call softly, waiting for a response. When you don’t get one you finally drag yourself out of bed, you enter the living room. Again no sign of Klaus whatsoever. Panic creeps into your chest then, he’s just out getting coffee or something to surprise you. You bite nervously at your nails before you turn back to your room to push into the bathroom. The sight before you draws a gasp from you. Klaus is slumped against the wall, his arm still on the toilet with the tourniquet around his arm. The needle is on the lid of the toilet next to his arm, and you immediately rush towards him.

“What have you done?” You whisper desperately, reaching for the life alert you have in the bathroom. You have one in every room in your apartment, which at the time felt like overkill but now looking back on it you’re happy you did. You pull Klaus to lay on his back, yanking the tourniquet off his arm. You try to feel for a pulse, and much to your horror you don’t feel a pulse. You frantically press your ear to his chest, his heart isn’t beating.

“Oh my God Klaus!” You nearly scream in horror, balling your fist up and slamming it down on his chest as hard as you can. You continue to do this, tears cascading down your cheeks. He’s dead, his heart isn’t beating.

“Klaus, why? You said you were sober!” You scream in pure emotional agony. You hardly notice when the paramedics arrive until they pull you away from him.

“H-his heart isn’t beating. Please help him.” You beg as they rush him out of the apartment, but this time...you don’t go with him. You’ve finally reached the point all of Klaus’s siblings reached, the point where you just can’t take being let down anymore. You believe in him, you feel hopeful. Then you feel lower than low when you realize he relapsed again, you can’t do this anymore. You can’t take the let down anymore.

It’s a few days before you go see Klaus in the hospital, and you know what you have to do but you’re not sure you have the strength to do it. Klaus is sitting in bed, eating chocolate pudding, and this time he looks worse than last time. He glances up at you when you come in, and he has to do a double take.

“Baby-”

“Please don’t. I don’t want to hear your excuses, or your promises to get clean.” You interrupt, and it’s only just now that he notices a suitcase in your hand. There are tears endlessly falling down your cheeks, and inside you feel completely dead. Klaus knows what the suitcase is for, he knows that you’ve lost faith in him. Just like Ben predicted you would, but despite the fact that this is all Klaus’s fault...Ben still sits nearby with a look of sadness upon his face.

“What’s the suitcase for?” Klaus brings himself to ask the dreaded question even though he already knows the answer. You swallow a lump before depositing the suitcase on a chair at the end of his bed.

“That’s all your stuff. D-Don’t come back to my apartment. Don’t call. I can’t be with you like this.” You cry, watching as the broken look on your face crosses onto Klaus’s.

“Baby please don’t do this. Just give me another chance, I’ll stay clean this time-” But you’re already shaking your head, taking slow steps back towards the door.

“We’re over Klaus. I’m done. I can’t be terrified of finding your dead body, I can’t wonder where you are at night or where you’re going when you sneak out. I can’t live like this anymore, I don’t want to live like this.” You sob, your shoulders shaking as you cry softly.

“Please don’t give up on me, not you.” Klaus pleads, and the look in his eyes nearly makes you change your mind, But then you remember where he is, that he did this to himself. You shake your head.

“You’ve given me no choice Klaus! I can’t take it anymore, I can’t handle anymore heartbreak.” You snap, tears heavy on your cheeks.

“I can get my shit together, I can!” Klaus pleads as your hand finds the door handle. He can’t lose you, not you. Anybody but you.

“I know you can, but I can’t wait around wondering if you’ll get your shit together before you overdose and die. I can’t wait around hoping the latter will come first. Goodbye Klaus.” You open the door and step into the hallway.

“No, Y/N please. I love you.” You hear Klaus call before you’re closing the door behind you. Your heart shatters as you do, and continues to shatter as you walk away.

Despite what you said, he called. He called over and over again and even came to your apartment. You remember him knocking and begging you to open the door, you had slid down the wall sobbing softly with your hand over your mouth. You love Klaus more than you’ve ever loved anyone, but you can’t watch him die. You can’t. You had to let him go and hope that someday he gets clean, and that he stays clean. You hope that someday he finds something or someone to stay clean for. Clearly, you weren’t enough.

“Please open the door, I know you’re in there.” Klaus begs, leaning against the closed door.

“She’s crying. I don’t think she’s going to open the door.” Ben says, poking his head through the door to look at you. His heart breaks for you, he tried to warn Klaus this was going to happen.

“I love you Y/N, just give me one more chance please.” Klaus tries again but you stay rooted to the floor, your body shaking through the tears.

“You’re hurting her Klaus.” Ben says softly, and Klaus finally takes a step away from the door with a look of realization on his face. He is hurting you. You don’t want him here, and as much as that kills him it’s the truth. The longer he sits here in the hallway, the more you’re going to cry. He has to let you go. He quickly wipes away falling tears before slinging his bag over his shoulder. Klaus leans down to slide something under the door before heading back down the stairs, and this time he isn’t going to be coming back. You turn to see a piece of paper with a plastic bag sitting on your kitchen floor. You lift the bag, and inside it is a necklace. It’s a silver heart with diamonds along the side, but on the inside is a rose made out of rose gold. You feel tears drifting down your cheeks as you turn to the note.

“Happy 1 Year Anniversary. I love you. -K”

You collapse to the floor, clutching the necklace and the note to your chest tightly. You never thought you would lose him, actually you were stupid enough to believe you could save him from himself. But you can’t save him, you never could. No matter how much you love him, it’s time to let him go and you can only hope that the next time you see him isn’t at his funeral.

-9 Years Later-

The letter clutched in your hand was one you never thought you’d be receiving. It’s from Allison, saying that her father died so she’s in town. You can’t fight the excitement you feel upon realizing you’re probably going to see her soon. You missed her. The prospect of running into Klaus crosses your mind, but c’mon what are the chances he’ll even show up? His father locked him in a Mausoleum for most of his childhood, you know for a fact that Klaus has no love for Reginald. You’re surprised Allison is going, but then again Reginald always did his little “experiments” on Klaus. Never the others. Besides Vanya, he treated Klaus the absolute worst. So you seriously doubt Klaus will turn up, plus you’ll only be there for like 10 minutes to see Allison. That’s the only reason you’re standing here, knocking on the door.

“It’s been a while Miss Y/L/N.” Pogo says once the door opens. You smile upon seeing him and can’t help yourself as you stoop down to hug him tightly. You’ve really missed Pogo these last few years. But you had to forget all of this, push it to the back of your mind. Any reminder of Klaus would cause you to collapse into tears, so you couldn’t think about any of it. There were a few times you nearly asked Allison to use her powers to erase your relationship with Klaus from your head. There was a while where you felt like you couldn’t be happy without him, but overall you did fine.

“Oh my God! Y/N!” You hear her before you see her and before you’ve even properly turned around Allison’s arms are winding around you tightly. You feel tears burning the backs of your eyes as you hug her back, it’s so good to see her. When Allison pulls back, her eyes scan your face before flickering behind you.

“Where’s Klaus?” If it were a few years ago, the question would have sent you to your knees in tears. You shake your head with a smile.

“We broke up a few years ago.” The pain behind your eyes is unmistakable. Allison nods before her gaze is flickering down to the necklace secured around your neck.

“Then what’s that?” She lifts the necklace in her hand, the necklace Klaus had slid under your door.

“It’s just a necklace I don’t know what you-”

“I helped him pick it out Y/N. It was the last time I talked to him.” She said and you nod slowly. You hold the metal in your hands, you’ve been wearing it every day since he gave it to you. Clinging to it like it’s the last piece of him you have, which is sort of true. You stole a few t-shirts of his too.

“I was just about to poke around in my Dad’s office, wanna come?” The playful glint in her eyes sends away the tears that were about to spill over your cheeks. You nod instantly, that was the one room they were never allowed to go into. You skip up the stairs behind Allison, running your fingers along the bannister. You remember all the times you ran up these stairs with Allison, either running away from Reginald or Pogo. Or the times you’d gotten hurt and Grace was there to run her fingers through your hair and hold you to her chest, she really was the best mom. She was a mom to you too, your own parents are pieces of shit and the only person you ever really had was Grace.

“Wow, so weird being in here.” You say once you two breach the threshold into the office. It only takes a few seconds for you to hear someone rummaging around in the drawers. You doubt Luther could fit behind the desk without you seeing him so it’s not him, and you just saw Diego in the hallway. Vanya was downstairs last time you checked so that means…

“Klaus?” Allison says it first. Your heart is in your throat as he stands to his full height, which is a few inches taller than the last time you saw him. He has facial hair, he doesn’t look like a boy anymore. He’s really grown into himself, he’s still super skinny though. His fashion style has changed a lot since the last time you saw him. He’s almost sort of feminine now, and you’d be lying if you said he didn’t look hot as hell. His eyes light up upon seeing her, a wide smile stretched across his face. He hasn’t seen you yet, so you’re going to just sneak out. You turn and head for the door when you hear his voice.

“Y/N? That you?” You hear the happiness edging at the tone of his voice. You can’t bring yourself to turn around, you can’t look into his eyes and remember how much you’ve missed him. He’s probably still using and you can’t get sucked into his addiction again. You stay stock still, tears burning at the corner of your eyes as you see him come into your view. He uses two fingers to tilt your chin up, and when you look into his eyes- it’s all over. They’re the same hazel eyes that you remember, the same softness behind them. The tears trickle down your cheeks before you can stop them. You shove past him and out of the room just as Luther comes in, he lights up when he sees you but the look quickly falters when he sees the tears on your face. His gaze trails back to Klaus and then a look of realization finally reaches his eyes.

“You should go after her.” Ben suggests as he moves to sit on Reginald’s desk. Klaus doesn’t say anything as he empties his pockets of things he was planning to sell before Luther caught him.

“Klaus, you're like an open wound for her, fix it. I thought you loved her.” Ben snaps, and this time Klaus glares at him before storming out of the room.

“I do love her.” Klaus snaps back.

“So talk to her and stop being an idiot.” Ben says, and the anger in his eyes is unmistakable. Klaus groans, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“How about, ‘I’m sorry’?” Ben suggests sarcastically. Klaus rolls his eyes. Turning towards the railing of the stairs, Klaus spots you next to a giant window. You’re stood with your arms crossed, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to see you.

“Don’t think it’s going to be enough, but I’ll try.” Klaus says softly, looking into Ben’s eyes. Tucking the ornate box he stole from the office into his pants, Klaus makes his way towards you.

“Hey you.” Is all he says, but hearing him say those words with his voice, it’s almost too much. It sends you right back to the first time you saw Klaus overdosing, it’s what he said in the hospital room when he woke up. You push a smile onto your face through the tears.

“Hey.” You wipe away a falling tear as you turn to look at him, and you see his eye fixated on your neck. Klaus reaches up to touch the necklace, there’s a smile on his face.

“You’re wearing it.”

“I never took it off, since you gave it to me.” You admit softly. Klaus looks up to meet your eyes again, and you swear he’s wearing eyeliner. Why is that so hot? Why is him dressing sort of like a woman so damn sexy?

“So, I hate this small talk but how have you been?” Klaus asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets. You casually wipe away a few tears, pretending that neither of you know why you’re crying. Even though you both know you’re crying because of him, again. What kills you the most is that everything else about him looks different enough for you to convince yourself that it’s a different person. But his eyes are the same. The same soft, puppy like eyes and every time you look into them you see the broken look on his face when you broke up with him.

“Good. I’m good, you?” You and Klaus really did detest small talk, but when it comes to you two you need to take baby steps. Maybe you can be friends but you doubt it, either way you have to take it slow. Really slow.

“I’m great.” He says with a wide smile, you nod once before turning your gaze out the window again. There’s one question poking at your head, refusing to be ignored. So you lick your lips and slowly turn to him.

“Klaus?”

“Hm?”

“Did you have anywhere to go after I...I um-”

“After you kicked me out?” You don’t expect the words to sting so much when he says them, you don’t think he intended to say it bitterly but he did. You nod.

“No I didn’t, but I figured it out.” He says with a shrug. You feel guilty as you look back out the window, and that’s when you notice him inch closer to you.

“I’ve missed you Y/N.” He says softly, turning his body to face yours. You feel tears in your eyes again, you know what he’s doing.

“Don’t.” You say softly, but his arms reach on either side of you to grasp the railing behind you- effectively trapping you in place.

“I really missed you.” Klaus says sincerely, his lips ghosting over yours. It’s too much.

“Stop! We can’t do this again Klaus.” You gasp, shoving him away from you. Klaus’s eyebrows knit together, but you know he really isn’t surprised.

“Baby I’m different now, I won’t let you down again-”

“Really? Then what’s this?” You snap as tears drift down your face. You grasp the bracelet on his wrist, the bracelet from rehab next to the one from the emergency room. You see him shrink in on himself, knowing that he had in fact been caught.

“After all these years and you’re still using, and you overdosed again? Do you know how lucky you are to be alive? Dammit Klaus, I’m not getting pulled into this bullshit again. I can’t.” You yell, crying uncontrollably now.

“But I still love you, I’m so fucking in love with you.” Klaus pleads and you know he means it. The annoying part is that you love him too, there’s never going to be a time in your life that you’re not in love with Klaus. You shake your head, you really wished you could control your damn emotions. You turn to storm down the stairs when you feel his fingers gently close around your wrist.

“I know you love me, you wouldn’t wear that necklace if you didn’t.” Klaus says desperately, a look in his eyes you can’t quite place.

“Please Y/N, just kiss me. One more time, please.” Klaus pleads, and you close your eyes as you release a heavy breath. You grasp onto his shirt tightly before pulling his lips down to meet yours. Klaus sighs happily against your lips as his hands grasp tightly at your own shirt, pulling you as close to his body as you can get. Your lips move against each other, and you can already feel the heat rising. You moan against him when his hand slips between your legs on the outside of your jeans. You pull away from him as he presses his palm against your core.

“W-We can’t do this Klaus.” You gasp, your head tilting back as he grinds his hardening cock against you. He winds his arms around your waist, his lips finding the sweet spot just under your ear. You mewl softly, your hands grasping his shoulders tightly.

“Sure we can, you don’t want a relationship- fine. Doesn’t mean we can’t have a physical relationship.” He whispers, biting at your neck in a way that makes you feel like you’re melting. You sigh softly as his hand slides under your shirt and up your back.

“C’mon baby, let me make you feel good. Use me to get off. Please.” His filthy words send another wave of arousal through you. You look into his eyes and when you see the heat simmering in them, you know you can’t say no.

“God please make me cum Klaus.” You plead hoarsely, and his lips press against yours again. He hauls your legs around his waist as he takes a back hallway to his bedroom. He presses you against the wall outside of his bedroom, grinding his cock up against your core. His lips trail kisses from the corner of your mouth, all the way down the column of your throat. Your head tilts back and hits the wall, your entire body buzzing.

“Just please tell me, are you high right now?” You gasp, his hand toying with the button of your jeans. Klaus hums in thought.

“A little.” He admits, and it definitely bothers you, but you need to cum so damn badly that you don’t care too much. Klaus kicks the door shut behind him before dropping you onto the bed, his hands yanking your shirt over your head.

“Wait, is this my shirt?” He asks, lifting the fabric to inspect it.

“A memento, come here and kiss me.” You plead again, your bra joining his shirt not too long after. Klaus happily obliges, yanking his shirt over his head before his lips are on yours. Your hands find his scarf, which strangely looks good on him before pulling it from around his neck.

“Nice scarf.” You comment against his lips. Klaus’s tongue swiftly enters your mouth and you, honest to God whimper against his lips. No man has ever made you whimper before. Your hands reach down to unbutton his pants, and you begin to push them down his legs. Remarkably, Klaus has managed to keep the giant box tucked into his pants concealed, kicking it under the bed when you look down to help untangle the pants from his ankles. You help peel his pants off before you’re sliding onto the floor in front of him. You pump his cock in your hand a few times before you’re taking him down your throat. Klaus hisses as his head tosses back, and you have to admit that the way he looks sends heat between your legs. His arms holding himself up as his neck is exposed, his eyes squeezed shut, his chest heaving. He looks fucking beautiful. You lick a line up the underside of his cock, you still remember exactly what he likes. That’s honestly a little pathetic, but at this moment you couldn’t care less.

“Fuck baby I don’t remember you being so-” he’s cut off when you suck lightly, and he moans. “-being so good at this.”

He swallows thickly, daring himself to look down at you. The sight before him nearly makes him cum on the spot. You’re looking up at him through your lashes, there are tears in your eyes, and your mouth is stuffed full of his cock. He can see it bulging in your throat. You bob your head up and down his full length, but eventually Klaus yanks you off him by your hair.

“If you don’t stop I’m going to cum and I won’t get hard again.” He growls, pulling your lips against his. Klaus’s hands are quickly unbuttoning your jeans, his hands hooking into the waistband to push them down your legs along with your underwear.

“You’re too clothed.” He mumbles against your lips, you eagerly help him undress you. Klaus gently pushes you back against the mattress to lay underneath you, his hands pressed on either side of your head. His eyes are practically twinkling as he gazes down at you, and there’s a fond smile on his face as his fingers brush against the necklace once more.

“What?” You ask, your cheeks heating up from the look in his eyes.

“Nothing. Just...this is my happy place.” He says and you turn your head away when it starts to feel too emotional.

“This is just sex Klaus remember? We’re not getting back together.” You remind him, and you hate the crushed look in his eyes but he nods.

“Yeah, I remember.” He says softly, the head of his cock nudging at your entrance. You moan when you feel his tip sliding against your lips, and just that one sound has reignited the fire in Klaus’s eyes. He reaches down to grasp the base of his cock, watching with nearly sadistic eyes as he teases you by rubbing the head along your entrance.

“Don’t be an asshole.” You groan, your fingers curling around the sheets. Klaus leans down to press his lips against yours before he’s sliding into you in one languid thrust. Your breath catches in your throat as you wind your arms around his shoulders. You’re not as tight as Klaus was expecting, which can only mean one thing. You’ve had sex with somebody else, and deep down Klaus knows that he has no right to be upset about it. But he is, he’s really upset about it. He quickly sets a brutal pace, pinning your arms to the bed as he bites down softly on your lower lip. You wriggle one arm free so you can reach up and grasp tightly onto his neck, your fingers curled around his throat. Klaus’s eyes roll back as he continues to pump into you.

“Fuck I missed this.” Klaus groans, his other hand snaking between your bodies to toy with your clit. Klaus has slept with one other person since he was with you, but that was different. It was a man. To Klaus, sex with men is just as good as sex with women but nothing is as good as sex with you. There’s something about you that just makes his toes curl, that edges him a little higher. Maybe it’s because he’s helplessly in love with you, but who knows. Klaus knows he won’t last much longer, especially when you begin to clench around him. He missed being this close to you, feeling one with you. Feeling you. He missed it all, everything about you. He is going to get you back, Klaus has made it his goal to get clean. For you. He never wants to lose you again.

“I missed you,” You gasp, you can’t help it. You did miss him. More than you thought you would, and you thought that time would heal the wound but it didn’t. Actually, the more time that went on the more the wound seemed to open. Klaus continues to push into you roughly, the head of his cock hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. You hold his chest tightly to yours, your eyes squeezing shut when his fingers gently pinch your clit. The tidal wave breaks open then and you’re squeezing around him so tightly that it draws a strangled groan from him as you gush around him. You moan obscenely as you cum around him, your hands holding him tightly. Klaus gasps as he thrusts into you roughly before pulling out of you and instantly cumming all over your stomach.

“I needed that.” Klaus sighs happily, standing to clean your stomach off. You watch him toss the tissue in a trash can before reaching around for his clothes.

“Leaving?” You ask in disbelief, he won’t stay with you for a little bit? Klaus leans back over you before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Sorry baby, got an errand to run.” He says reaching under the bed to grab the box. Klaus slides the scarf around his neck once more, and when you see the box you know what he’s up to. He’s going to sell it for drug money. He tosses your clothes onto the bed before turning towards the door. Just before his hand tugs the door open, he turns towards you again.

“Be honest with me, do you still love me?” He asks and you bite down on your bottom lip.

“I still love you Klaus.” You admit, watching the small smile on his face.

“I love you too.” And before you know it, he’s out of the bedroom and closing the door behind him. It’s immediate that you should not have had sex with him, you should have said no but you couldn’t. Why?

Because Klaus is your addiction.

#klaus hargreeves smut #tua fanfic #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #tua smut #the umbrella academy smut #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus x reader #klaus x you

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its-snicket-here · 4 years ago

Note

Instead of wynly elf, how about cosmic eldritch demon like hp lovecraft shit but they heal things but they also kill things like Zenyatta in Overwatch

OoooOooo. I think Demiurge would be highly interested in you if you were part of a demon breed too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cosmic Eldritch Demon who not only kills, but also heals?! That'll be a shocker honestly to the people who always think demons only focuses on damage than both damage and healing.

Due to your status as a Eldritch, I would see that you would have a some sort of undead status with a half human/half skull face.

Originally, you were (still) human as your starter race, because like what I said, still unfamiliar with the other races. The cosmic, eldritch, and demon part came in with events and a starter package deal that Ainz bought and carried you through.

With the cosmic powers, I would see that your powers would involve with space: Blackholes, Novas, Time warps, etc.

With the Elderich, basically you're like 25% Ainz.

With demon, you were blessed with accessories that each 7 sins are as: Cape of Pride, Sword of Wrath, Dress of Lust, Staff of Envy, Shoes of Sloth, Crown of Greed, and Chalice of Gluttony.

Being a cosmic eldritch demon would be a bazaar thing to see to the people outside of Nazarick. That some would say that you're the goddess of judgement, due to your ability to heal too.

You have now acquired a cult following

Demiurge will be thrilled to carry out your orders, or at least observe your doings. As being a demon and all, he will probably mentally crown you as a demon queen as well everyone else.

Personally, I would think you would self proclaim yourself as high court judge when the Sorcerer Kingdom takes over E-Rantel and Ainz would agree. At least now he doesn't have to entrust one of his guardians or servants to be judge with bias opinions. Sebas already so much on his plate already.

The children would adore you honestly, because of your cosmic side. Astronomy and Astrology will keep them up al night to listen on with the tales of what these signs are and the fascination of what you dubbed "space."

Those who comes from the Holy Order would question your identity. Although you ARE indeed part demon, you don't function as a ruthless one like a certain person. Demiurge. Though they would accept who you are. Brownie points of confusion if you are also in the religion that they are in.

If Ainz wants to take over the world. Then you already must have taken over "space." You must have been waiting for Ainz to have the power to conquer something right, my lady?! <- According to Demiurge.

I would say that Demiurge would actively study on your words when talking about space and astronomy. He thinks you're talking to him in riddles, and WANTS him to solve your riddles to understand your knowledge.

Now onto the confusion where people try to guess what you actually are.

Bitch. Get ready to be corpse bride 2.0

Like the section where your right or left eye and part of your jaw/lips is a skeleton, but you're rocking the look. Tis a shame that you hide it behind a white veil. Kinda like how that one chick in Resident Evil Village that controls the doll.

Oh yeah, the dominate arm is a cosmic arm. Good luck trying to pick up stuff, unless you want shit to be sucked in bwb

Though despite you being half corpse, some parts of your body shows the cosmic space you keep describe about.

Any magic casters would be honestly interested in your cosmic and eldritch powers to be blunt.

M I L F C O S M I C E L D I R I T C H D E M O N W H E N ?

Unlike your Wyld Elf version MILF. You're much taller and robust due to your demonic side. So the idea of the stretching you got from supposedly birthing Ainz is less thought about, but the idea still there as you're still shorter than Ainz by mere feet.

Big tiddies, small tiddies, or no tiddies. You're still a MILF. Shut the fuck up and accept that fact.

You do get deterred on seeing your cult just acting... disturbed when trying to summon you to bless them or something like that.

Though you do step on the line when they demand you to overthrow Ainz. There is no fucking way you'll hurt your skeleton baby boy. Demiurge go do something to them, please. :)

People would come to you for healing, especially healing that isn't curable. If you can cure those incurables, you'll be honestly worshiped as not only the goddess of judgment, but also the goddess of healing.

---------------------

'Cosmic Blessings' - Due to you completing the COSMOS EVENT during the time limit you have now received the COSMIC MAGE SKILL SET. You can now learned skills: Cosmic Blessing, Meteor Crush, Fallen Star, Star Rush, the Zodiac's Blessings, and Pluto's Revenge. You have now equip the costume COSMIC MAGE.

'Cosmic Blessing' - Blessed upon by the stars. Your attacks now deal fire damage, 120% crushing damage, 165% armor and magic penetration. Additionally, you have now gain the speed of 200% when activated. Status effect last for an hour.

'Meteor Crush' - You have now summoned falling meteors at your selected area. It deals 125+ damage on hit first then 60+ damage per second when inside the radius of the target. When inside the area, enemies' speed has been decreased by 110%. Lasts for 30 seconds. ONLY 3 CAN BE PUT UP AT THE SAME TIME.

'Fallen Star' - Like 'Meteor Crush,' accept 250% fire damage and a bigger radius area. Lasts longer depending how much MP is left. Only disappears after MP is drained to 1.

'Star Rush' - You can now bless your team or yourself. When blessed ATK speed has been increased by 185%, Agility has been increased by 200%, Speed has been increased by 45%, MP storage has been increased by +165. Lasts only for 3 days, then rest must occur to be used again.

'The Zodiacs' Blessing' - Blessed by the Zodiacs, your traits are now increased by 105%. (All traits are now increased permanently upon self. When used on another person, you have now gain the ability to take the blessing away. Only 3 can be blessed at a time, excluding blessing yourself.)

'Pluto's Revenge' - (THIS SKILL CAN BE ONLY OBTAINED BY APRIL'S FOOLS AFTER COMPLETING THE COSMOS EVENT) Due to Pluto being not considered a planet anymore, it nows comes in. Haunting the people to get's its revenge. 250% Area damage, guarantee critical hit. (Total damage: 130,000)

'Death's curse' - Due to your curse, you can not die. When HP reaches to 0, an item must be sacrificed to be revived. If an item isn't chosen to revive immediately, you can rather spawn back to your guild and be immobilized till HP slowly regain to full HP. (Can be bought on the Eldritch Starter Pack: $14.99)

#ainz ooal gown #lord ainz #overlord x reader #overlord #demiurge #mother reader #eldritch mother

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chaoticminhos · 5 years ago

Text

priceless

priceless; adjective; so precious that its value cannot be determined.

pairing: bang chan x reader

genre: angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, rich kid! bang chan au

warnings: none, lowkey sugar daddy channie but nothing is sexual

word count: 14.3k (oh my god)

a/n: this is a super long one, i’m sorry! i got a bit carried away

christopher bang. chris. bang chan. he was a boy with the whole world at his fingertips, diligent and hardworking. the kind of boy you could bring home and your mother would adore him. your father couldn’t dream of a better boy to date his daughter.

at least, that’s how everyone else would describe him. but you? no, to you, he was nothing but an arrogant asshole.

he flaunted the trophies and medals he won from swimming like they made him the most important man alive. he never missed a chance to point out that he was top of the class, even with being in sports. he could handle it all, such a balanced and sturdy young man, all of his teachers said.

people called him modest, but you couldn’t see it. not even a peak coming out from under the obnoxious fancy shirts he wore to school every day just to show that he had enough money to own that many different name brand clothes. your school didn’t even have a strict dress code, who the hell in their right mind would wear button up and dress pants in place of hoodies and sweats? a fucking prick who needs to prove in every way possible that he is better than everyone else, that’s who. he was mister fucking perfect and he never, not for one second, let you forget that.

you begrudgingly stepped into your first hour class and made your way to your assigned seat, groaning at the fact that in just a few minutes, the school bell would ring and you’d be forced to sit right next to chan for the whole 45 minutes the class lasted.

honestly, you thought your teacher was fucking insane for placing you and chris next to each other. and in a corner spot, no less! chris was pinned in between you and the wall, the only person other than you in direct line of contact for him being the two seated ahead of you. but that didn’t stop chan, no, he yelled over you to his friends as if you weren’t even there and it pissed you off. you’d offered to swap seats so you wouldn’t have to deal with his yelling over you, but he denied, saying that he didn’t want to get in trouble with the teacher.

“they’re assigned seats, y/n,” he’d said, “the whole point is we can’t just swap.”

students filtered in and, per usual, chan was one of the last to enter. he was almost always just on the edge of being late to the first hour, him and his friend hyunjin. they had before school swim practice and apparently it would kill their coach to let them off 10 minutes earlier so they wouldn’t be late to class. it didn’t matter though, the teacher waited for them every day. god forbid golden boys chris and hyunjin miss the first minute of class.

chan walked behind you to his seat, bumping into the back of your chair as he passed. asshole. there was plenty of room for him to get past you easily, he didn’t need to shove your chair.

the teacher began class just as chan plopped his bag onto your shared table, the straps from it falling across your notebook on your side of the table.

you brushed them off, pushing his bag further away from you. he sent you a look and threw his hands up in the air like you’d just ruined his bag.

“what’s your problem today?”

you looked up at him, breath slightly catching at his damp hair. he showed up to class like this every single day, with his hair pressed to his forehead and his shirt pressed close to his body, still damp from the pool and showering off, but that didn’t change the fact that every single day, he still took your breath away.

as much as you hated him, he was strikingly attractive. it’s a shame that people can’t have both good looks and a good personality.

you put a forced smile on your face, “same as always, bang. you.”

your argument was cut short by your teacher sending a small glare towards you, a silent order to be quiet.

that’s another thing that pissed you off. he had started the conversation, but you were always the one who got in trouble for talking. not once did the teacher scold him for talking in class, only you.

“you’ll be working with your table partners today--“

you didn’t even bother to listen to the rest, groaning and putting your head in your arms on the desk. you had requested not to always be partners with your desk mate, stating that you and chan didn’t get along that well, but your teacher insisted.

“chris is a wonderful person to be partnered with, y/n.”

and of course chan wouldn’t back you up on the request of different partners. he didn’t want to be your partner in everything, god no, but it simply wouldn’t look good for him if he complained about another student.

you looked back up when chan snapped his fingers right next to your ear, causing you to jolt up and send a glare at him. he pointed to the paper that your teacher had placed on your desk.

“we’re supposed to brainstorm together.”

“can’t we just do it separately and say we talked the questions through?”

he put a fake pout on his face, “you don’t wanna share your ideas with me?”

a grin spread across his face as your jaw clenched in frustration.

“i don’t want to interact with you, period.”

“i'm just as excited as you are--“

he was cut off by the sound of your stomach growling. you groaned, you hadn’t had time to get dinner yesterday and you couldn’t afford to buy breakfast this morning.

“someone’s hungry.”

“i didn’t have breakfast.”

“why, slept in?”

“couldn’t afford it.” you mumbled, not thinking much of your words, just letting them fall from your lips.

he laughed lightly, “couldn’t afford breakfast?”

your eyes slowly lifted from the paper to his face, casual mood from just seconds before long gone.

“not everyone was born on a pile of money, chan.”

“sorry, it was just a question.”

it wasn’t even 9 am and you already wanted to rip his head off.

“fucking forget about it, let’s just get this done so you can fuck off.”

he nodded in agreement, pressing his lips tightly together to bite back a response before reading out the first question before stating his opinions on the matter.

he didn’t bother you much more for the rest of the class period, just focusing on the work ahead of you two. he didn’t bring the breakfast issue up again, which honestly surprised you. it had obviously gotten a rise from you, you expected him to milk that for as long as possible.

you didn’t see him again until lunch, where your eyes were glued to the back of his head as you angrily went over the start of your day to your best friends.

“he fucking made fun of me for not having money.”

“he’s such a prick.” sooyeon said through a mouthful of chips, turning to show one of her friends something on her phone. she wasn’t really listening. she never did when it came to you complaining about chan.

sooyeon was your best friend along with jisung, but she has lots of friends other than the two of you. she was an easy person to be around, you understood why everyone liked her:

“i agree,” jisung said as he sat himself down next to you, “i don’t get why you’re so obsessed with him when i’m literally right here.”

you hit his arm, causing his tray to shake as he set it on the table, some of the chocolate pudding falling onto the table.

“i am not obsessed with him, jisung! it’s just hard not to think about him so much when he makes it a point to be a cock every single fucking time we interact.”

jisung ignored your reply, scooping up the pudding you caused him to spill and plopping it onto an empty place on your tray.

you moved to shove him again, but he instinctively reached his hands to your arms to stop you, coating your sleeve with the pudding that he had yet to clean off of his hand.

“jisung!” you shouted, unable to keep a smile from breaking out on your face. there was no real reason to be mad, it would wash out, but you wanted to give him a hard time for it anyway.

“you ruined my favorite sweatshirt!”

you grabbed his wrist, pressing his still dirty hand against the chest of his own hoodie, giving it a stain to match the one on your arm.

“what the fuck?” he called through a loud laugh.

“it’s payback, you dickhead.”

he wiped his hand off on a napkin before standing up and motioning for you to do the same. he packed the apple and chips from his lunch into his bag for later tossed out the rest.

“you are so lucky i have extra clothes in my gym locker.”

you followed him as he started through the cafeteria, “i’m lucky? you’re the one who got pudding on me first!”

“i don’t recall that ever happening. obviously it got on you when you were brutally attacking me.”

you hit him again, laughing as he led you out of the food court and to the gyms.

you hadn’t realized, but you’d walked right past chan and his friends as you were leaving. he observed the interaction between you and jisung and let out a nose laugh at the childishness of it.

he got up and tossed his tray. he’d heard jisung mention the locker room and it reminded him he needed to grab his math textbook from there, he’d left it there after practice that morning.

chan expected you to be in the girls locker room changing or waiting outside of the boys locker room for jisung to bring you a clean shirt, so he thought nothing of stepping into the locker room himself. what he did not expect was to be met face to face with you as you slipped one of jisungs hoodies over your head, chans eyes barely catching the bottom of your bra as you pulled the cloth down.

jisung was still shirtless, digging through his locker for a shirt that didn’t have pudding on it and didn’t smell distinctly of sweaty boy. he looked up upon hearing the door open, nodding to chan as he entered.

he didn’t acknowledge jisung, instead keeping his attention on you.

“you do know this is the boys locker room, right?”

your eyes widened in mock surprise, “really? i thought this was the music department. no wonder there’s no piano.”

he huffed as he walked past you and to his own locker where his book was sat on the bench beside it.

“why are you in here, anyway?” he continued.

“jisung is a dumbass.”

the boy in question turned to you as he slipped his own sweatshirt over his head, “you’re being quite an asshole to me considering i just gave you the one actually clean sweatshirt i had on hand.”

“maybe if you hadn’t gotten pudding on the one i was wearing i wouldn’t need to steal yours.”

chan cut in, “don’t you have your own clothes to change into?”

jisung responded for you, “she doesn’t have gym.”

chan nodded, “not surprised by that.”

he’d mumbled it, but you heard. first he’d made fun of your economic status, now he was going to take a jab at your body?

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

you took a step towards him and he put his hands up in defense, “you don’t seem like the sporty type.”

your eyes narrowed and he seemed to get what you had been thinking.

“no, oh my god! i’m not that low.”

you scoffed, “but you’re low enough to tease someone for being poor? come on jisung.”

you bundled your dirty sweatshirt into your arms and swung your bag over your shoulder before leaving the locker room with jisung hot on your trail.

when you entered your first class the next day, you were met with a plastic wrapped muffin sitting on the table of your spot.

you figured someone had forgotten it there from the day before and no one had noticed to move it. you inspected the wrapper, it was still fully sealed. deciding whoever left it there probably forgot about it and remembering you hadn’t been able to get breakfast that morning either, you unwrapped the muffin and took a bite.

and damn, muffins hit different when they’re the first thing you’ve eaten since dinner time the night before.

you were about halfway done with the tasty treat when chan found his way to his spot beside you. he was wearing a plain white button up that day. water droplets from his hair had fallen onto his shoulder and collar, making small see through patches across his collar bones. you caught yourself staring before he did, thankfully.

he pointed to the muffin in your hand, “you got yourself breakfast this morning.”

you nodded, providing no verbal response, just taking another bite of the muffin.

the bell rang and the teacher clapped to get the classes attention, stating that you’d be continuing the discussion activity you and your partner had started the day before.

you looked over to chan with wide eyes. it was supposed to take two days? the two of you had gone through most of the questions the day before.

“did we miss something?” he started, reaching across the table to drag your paper closer to him so he could see it. you sighed, he had his own sheet. it would have taken literally five seconds for him to get his own instead of hijacking yours.

“i think my brain is just too good for her assignments.” you shrugged as you took the final bite of your muffin, crumpling the wrapper in your hand.

“your brain? please,” he leaned back in his chair, turning his body towards you, “i’m obviously the powerhouse of this duo.”

you raised your eyebrows with a smile, “then what am i? the hot eye candy?”

he pretended to think for a moment, “no, i think that one's me too...”

your smile grew, the words were teasing but not in a bad way. you could not believe you were having a civil conversation with bang chan, let alone an almost friendly argument.

you tossed the rolled up muffin wrapper at him, hitting him right in the cheek. he scrunched his nose, “you’re fucking terrible.”

the words weren’t anything different from what you would expect him to say to you, but the tone was lighter than usual. almost playful. still, they seemed to snap you into reality. bang chan was not your friend.

you reached to the paper he’d taken from you and glanced at the last few questions, pointing to the next in line and reading it aloud.

“is it unethical for heinz to steal the pills for his dying wife?” (look up the heinz moral debate if you don’t know what i’m referring to)

he thought for a moment before responding.

“no.”

“why?” you prompted him to continue.

“it says he tried every ethical and legal way, he has no other choice. he doesn’t have the money to pay for the pills, stealing is the only option he has left.”

you nodded, making a slightly surprised face.

“what?”

“nothing. i just took you for the kind of person to be all, i don’t know, fuck the poor.”

you scanned his face and he looked almost offended at your remark.

“of course not, everyone deserves the same opportunities when it comes to things like this.”

the rest of the hour went the same, pleasant way. you had to keep reminding yourself every couple of minutes that he was not your friend. he was being oddly pleasant to be around that day, but he was still an arrogant prick.

you were met with another muffin on your spot the next morning. and the morning after that. and the one after that, too. and the next one, and so on. it became clear to you within the first few days that it couldn’t be a coincidence, someone was leaving muffins there for you every morning. you found it kinda weird at first, considering you couldn’t think of who could be doing it. if it was jisung or sooyeon they would just hand it to you, they wouldn’t go through the trouble of sneaking into the ethics classroom before school started to put a muffin on your spot. neither of them even got to the school in time to do that. but after a while, you just accepted it. you appreciated the little snack every morning, it gave you something to go to school for and it assured you that you’d be able to eat something, even if you were short on money.

after a while, you stopped finding it weird and started to find it cute and endearing.

jisung and sooyeon were convinced it was a secret admirer, that someone had a crush on you and didn’t know how to show it. you didn’t believe that idea, no one even knew you even existed other than the two of them and a couple other friends. still, you honestly couldn’t think of another reason.

either way, it changed your first period class from being something to dread because of the boy seated next to you into something to look forward to. that, and chris had been more bearable. he was still an obnoxious asshole and he didn’t deserve half of the positive attention he constantly had, but not every conversation with him was full of angry words and snappy remarks anymore. you were starting to realize that maybe some of the things he did weren’t really mean or annoying and it was just you finding different excuses to be mad at him, but you’d never admit that out loud.

you still didn’t call him a friend, and he didn’t call you one either. he would probably be embarrassed to call someone like you his friend. he still annoyed the living hell out of you, but you couldn’t make yourself have an undying hatred for him anymore. just a strong disliking.

but he was not your friend. he was still the same dickhead he had been the whole time you’d been in school with him. he wasn’t a nice person.

you still didn’t like him.

you seemed to repeat that to yourself quite a lot.

you smiled as you picked up the muffin from the table, you’d lost count of how many had been left for you by now. you unwrapped it and started eating, you’d stopped checking the wrappers for holes after the first few. it was silly, but you trusted whoever was leaving them for you.

hyunjin and chan walked into the room just as the bell went off. chan was laughing at something hyunjin said, his dimples showing. they’re something you’d grew to really like about him. you didn’t even know he had dimples before, he never smiled at you up until a couple weeks ago.

the teacher waited for them to reach their spots before beginning the lecture, talking for a while about something or another. you didn’t really pay attention, zoning out as you finished your muffin and tossed the wrapper at chan like you’d made a habit of doing with every wrapper you had.

it was funny, you thought. every single day, even though he complained about it, he would pick up the wrapper from wherever it landed and deliver it to the trash himself. he tried to make you do it originally, but you refused.

“you’ll be working with the same partner you’ve had all semester. i have rubrics up here if anyone wants a paper copy.”

you tuned in to the last bit of what your teacher said, catching on that she was assigning another partner project, and your partner would be the same as always- chan.

both of you pulled out your laptops and pulled up the work. neither of you complained about always being partners anymore, the same argument over and over again did no one good. plus, it’s not like he was the worst partner to have. because of his position as golden boy, he always did good on his work, assuring you that you’d have a partner that would do their share.

the project consisted of you drawing a topic from a hat the teacher passed around and finding the other group with that topic. you would be debating against that group on whatever topic you and chan had drawn.

chan let you be the one to draw from the hat and you drew ‘the morality of euthanasia (anti)��

you laughed at it, “kill the old, eat the rich.”

chan raised an eyebrow at you, laughing at your response.

“we’re supposed to be against it. don’t kill the old, no eating the rich.”

“you’re just saying that because you don’t want to be eaten.”

“oh, you got me. i don’t want to be cannibalized, how dare i.”

you were paired to debate against two boys, kim seungmin and lee felix. they were chans friends. they didn’t swim with him, but they sat with him at lunch and hung out with him a lot, you’d saw them around him enough to get that.

you spent the rest of the period doing general research on the topic. it wasn’t biased, so you were able to work with seungmin and felix on it, too. they were actually pretty fun to be around. you expected them to be stuck up and bratty like chan, but they weren’t. seungmin was really sweet and felix was super funny.

“i’m telling you, eat the rich.” felix spoke.

“that’s what i’ve been saying!” you called out, reaching your hand out to give him a high five.

“felix, you’re literally rich.” chan pointed out.

“no, channie, my parents are rich. i am simply living off of their rich people money.”

you checked the clock, realizing class would be ending in a few minutes. you packed your things back into your bag before turning to chan.

“she said we’d need to work outside of class. does the library after school work?”

he sharply inhaled, “i have practice and by the time it’s over the library will be closed. if you’re okay with waiting we can go to my house after practice?”

you were slightly taken aback by the request.

“uh, sure.”

“you can watch practice if you want, or even just sit in the pool room doing homework or playing on your phone or something and then i can give you a lift to my place.”

that solved the issue of finding a ride there and you figured he couldn’t live too far, you’d be able to walk home, so you agreed.

the last bell rang and you lifted yourself from your chair and headed to the hallway, meeting jisung and sooyeon by their lockers.

jisung raised his keys, “ready to go?”

“actually, i’m staying to work on a project with chan, i forgot to tell you.”

“you’re getting awfully close with him recently.” sooyeon teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

you would have hushed her just as you did every time she even dared to mention you and chan becoming closer, but jisung cut you off.

“here?”

“no, at his house.”

“do you have a ride there and home?”

“yeah,” you started, “he’s driving me there and i can just walk home.”

“walk?” jisung frowned, “how far away is his place from yours?”

you shrugged, “can’t be that far.”

he shook his head, “not happening. text me his address and i’ll take you home when you’re done.”

there was no point in arguing with him. he got super protective over you and sooyeon when it came to stuff like this. he said it wasn’t safe for you to walk home alone, that’s the whole reason he drove you and sooyeon home every day.

you barely had time to promise jisung you’d let him drive you home before someone was calling your name from down the hallway.

“y/n! chan said you’re watching practice?”

you looked at the source of the voice, hwang hyunjin. since when did he talk to you? or even know your name?

“yeah,” you replied, “i’m coming.”

you waved goodbye to your friends before jogging to meet hyunjin at the end of the hallway, letting him lead you to the practice rooms. you’d been in them before, you went to a fair share of sports games and meets, but it felt weird being in it with it so empty, especially alone with a boy you’d barely ever talked to. he noticed the tension.

“sorry, i’m hyunjin. chan’s been mentioning you a lot lately so i figured i should make myself present.”

“oh,” you laughed, “it’s not a big deal. we aren’t really close or anything.”

hyunjin raised his eyebrows and a smirk played at his lips, “so you’re not dating or anything like that?”

your face flushed red, “god, no. i don’t have a boyfriend.”

his smile grew, “good to know.”

your face grew even more red as the door to the locker room opened and chan stepped out.

“stop flirting with y/n and go get changed.”

hyunjin turned to him, “you seem to have forgotten that i am the captain of this team and i do not take orders from you.”

he punctuated the last word with a finger to chans chest as he passed him and entered the room to get ready for practice.

“how’d you know he was flirting?” you laughed.

“it’s all he does.”

chan stepping closer to you in his shirtless form did nothing for your blushed face. he was actually in more than he would be during meets, considering it was just a practice so he was allowed to wear swim trunks, but it was still a lot more of him, or any boy for that matter, than you were used to seeing.

to your dismay, he noticed how your eyes avoided him as he stepped closer to you.

“what, not used to shirtless boys?” he teased.

“unless it’s jisung, no.” you replied, eyes trained on the pool behind him.

he raised an eyebrow, “i thought you said you two weren’t a thing?”

“we’re not. he just has stupid high body heat and strips randomly in the middle of movie nights.”

he nodded, taking a step closer to you.

“you’re so flustered when it’s just me out here, are you gonna be able to handle the whole team?”

you stepped back, “i’ve watched swim meets before chan, it’s fine. it’s just weird because we’re alone right now.”

as if on cue, the door swung open and the boys streamed out of the locker room, hyunjin last. you didn’t really recognize anyone on the team but chan and hyunjin. they made their way to the edge of the pool and chan jogged to join them, pointing at the stands near the pool for you to sit down at.

the boys started to warm up and a small crowd of girls built up on the bleachers around you. none of them seemed to notice you until the coach entered and scanned the small crowd.

“you’re new a new addition.” he pointed out.

you were gonna reply that you were just there for the one day when chan cut in for you with a smile on his face, “i invited her, coach.”

the coach looked in between you and chan with a small smile.

“oh, you did?”

you didn’t know what it meant but his words had been laced with a teasing tone and it made yours cheeks heat up. did it matter that chan had invited you and you hadn’t just randomly showed up?

apparently it did. you got a tap on your shoulder and you turned around to face the person who did it.

“did chan really invite you specifically to watch?”

“i mean, yeah.” you began, “i’m going to his place after so he said i could just wait here.”

her eyes widened, “he invited you to his house?”

you grimaced, this was drawing more attention than you wanted, “it’s nothing like that, we have a project to work on.”

she hummed and nodded, focusing her attention back on the boys.

you thought you’d get bored during the practice and end up scrolling through your phone, but you didn’t. something about the way they moved so fluidly and easily in the water was captivating to watch. your eyes kept mostly to chan, but they drifted to hyunjin a lot, too. watching him, you understood why he was captain. he had such control of his body even under the pressure of the water, it was like it was moving according to what he willed it to.

practice ended and all of the boys jumped out of the pool and grabbed a towel, heading straight for the locker room. everyone but chan. he dried his hair off before slinging the towel around his neck and over his shoulders and walking up to where you were sitting at the bleachers. he leaned against the cold metal as he spoke to you.

“i just need to shower quick and get changed then we can go. i won’t be long.”

you nodded and gave him a soft smile. most of the girls who’d came to watch the boys swim had left already, but the few who hadn’t began whispering after seeing your and chans interaction.

you didn’t know why it was such a big deal, you were his partner for a project.

high school dynamics always confused you.

after a few minutes of mindlessly scrolling through your phone, chan pushed the door open and stepped out, calling to you to follow him out. he lead you through the school and outside to the parking lot. it didn’t take much for you to find his car, you guessed it was one of the few that looked like they cost more than you were worth. no doubt the other ones belonged to his friends.

to say you were surprised when he jogged ahead of you to open the passenger side door for you would be an understatement. he really had changed a lot from a couple weeks before. or maybe you just started seeing things differently.

he frowned slightly at your confused face as you approached the car.

“what?”

“i didn’t take you for the gentleman type.”

“how would you know? you’ve never gone out with me before.”

you shrugged, he had a point.

he slipped into the driver seat and put the key in the ignition. the startup was so quiet you wouldn’t have even known it was turned on if he hadn’t shifted gears and started to drive. you were so used to clunky old cars like the one your family had or the one jisung drove around in.

speak of the devil, your phone lit up with a message from jisung.

sungie🤢💗: at his place yet?

you: headed there now

sungie🤢💗: address ??

you: one sec

you lifted your eyes from your screen to look at chan, “hey, what’s your address?”

he looked confused, “why?”

“jisungs gonna pick me up when we’re done.”

he glanced at you before training his eyes back onto the road, “no he’s not, i’ll take you home.”

“sung already said he could.”

“i thought it was a given that i’d give you a ride home since i was the one to invite you out?”

you laughed, “since when is that an unspoken rule?”

he shrugged, “it’s just good manners.”

you leaned back into the seat, sending jisung a message than chan was giving you a ride home.

who knew bang chan even knew what good manners were.

you were right about his house not being far, he was pulling his fancy car into the fancy driveway of his fancy house within just a few minutes.

although you knew it was normal life for him, you were amazed that he could step into such a pretty house so casually. you felt like if you touched anything, it would shatter.

he slipped off his shoes at the door and you did the same, following him up a large set of stairs and into what you assumed was his bedroom.

you’d expected it to be neat, but it was the exact opposite, clothes tossed randomly on the floor and open chip bags laying around. you laughed at the condition of his room and he pouted as he hurried to try to clean up some of the mess.

“don’t make fun of me, i didn’t expect company.”

“who knew that you, bang chan, were so messy.”

“i’m a high school boy, what did you expect?”

“yeah, but you’re also the pride of the school.”

he huffed, plopping down onto his bed after deciding cleaning was no use, “i’m still just a kid.”

you sat yourself down next to him, pulling your laptop from your bag and opening it. you were immediately faced with the issue of not having wifi connection.

“chan, what’s your wifi password?”

“it’s super long,” he mumbled as he reached across your lap and took the device from your hands, “i’ll just type it for you.”

you didn’t have the time to scold him for just taking it from you, you were too busy trying to convince yourself that you did not feel butterflies in your stomach when he had gotten that close to you.

you just weren’t used to boys other than jisung being so casual around you, that’s all.

he handed your laptop back to you and rose to his feet, getting up and doing something behind you for a few seconds. you didn’t pay attention, already getting to work on research.

a few seconds later, you felt the bed dip beside you and chan was pulling his legs onto the bed and sitting with them crossed and his own laptop in his lap, his loose button up he’d worn all day now replaced with a plain black t-shirt.

your face flushed red when you realized he’d just changed his shirt with you in the room, not that it was a big deal. he was a swimmer and he was used to people seeing him shirtless, it didn’t mean anything to him, but it was still odd for you.

the two of you worked in silence for about an hour before he fell onto his back, closing his laptop and tossing it onto the bed beside him.

you let out a small laugh, “what?”

“it’s boring.” he groaned, “let’s get food.”

it didn’t take much for him to convince you to ditch schoolwork and get food instead. he led you back down the stairs and into a kitchen that you swore was bigger than your whole house, opening the fridge door and leaning down to look at its contents.

he shut the door and let out an obnoxious groan, “i don’t want any of this,” his eyes locked with your and a grin appeared on his face, “let’s go somewhere for food.”

you gave a skeptical look before a small smile took over your features, “okay.”

he walked up to his room with you and you grabbed your bag before the two of you slipped your shoes on and you hopped back into his car, him rushing ahead to open the door for you once again.

you buckled your seat belt, “where are we going?”

he shrugged, “what are you hungry for?”

“you’re the one who wanted to go out for food.”

“and now i’m asking you to choose.”

you huffed, “i don’t know, anywhere.”

he hummed and nodded his head, “the diner a couple blocks down from the school?”

you perked up at the suggestion, that was your favorite place to eat.

“oh my god, please.”

he laughed at your reaction, pulling the car from his driveway and starting the route to the small diner. as the building came into view, you wondered why chan even knew about this place. he could afford so many more fancy restaurants.

he held the door open and you stepped into the small place with a smile on your face, you hadn’t been able to come here for a while.

chris let you choose where to sit before grabbing a menu from the stack on the table and shoving it in your direction.

“get whatever you want, i’m paying.”

you tried to object, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. honestly, you didn’t fight too hard, either. it saved you from the trouble of finding the money to pay for it.

you still didn’t want to make him spend a bunch on you, so you decided to just repeat the name of whatever he ordered to make sure you didn’t get anything too expensive.

he ended up asking for a classic, just chicken strips and fries. you silently thanked him for ordering your favorite meal, repeating the same thing when the waitress asked what you wanted.

“would you like any sauce with that?”

you nodded politely, “barbecue, please.”

chan scrunched his nose and made a sound of disgust across the table, “barbecue is gross.”

you tried to hold down a smile as you glared at him, “says the one who ordered ranch! who the fuck eats ranch with chicken?”

“i do.” the waitress giggled, and you jumped. you’d kinda forgotten she was still there.

“oh, i’m sorry!”

she laughed, “it’s okay. what can i get for drinks?”

“i’ll take a chocolate shake, please.” chan answered first.

“i’ll take a chocolate shake, too.”

you folded the menu in front of you, content with your order.

“aw, come on.” chan made a sound of disapproval, “get a different flavor. if you want some chocolate, you can have some of mine.”

you felt a blush creep onto your cheeks, “um, okay, i’ll take strawberry then.”

the waitress clicked her pen shut with a smile, “i’ll have those out as soon as possible.”

you waited until she was out of earshot before speaking again.

“still think you’re fucking gross for eating chicken with ranch.”

he chuckled, pausing for a moment before responding.

“do you come here a lot?”

you shrugged, “i used to. i don’t too much now though,” you debated telling him the truth, you couldn’t afford to eat out much, but opted not to. you were still upset with him for his response the last time you mentioned your money issues.

“too busy.”

he nodded in understanding.

“what’s your favorite thing on the menu?”

you let out an unamused laugh, and it sounded a lot more harsh than you’d intended it to.

“why are you asking so many questions?”

he frowned, “just friendly conversation.”

you leaned back in your seat, “we’re not friends.”

you could have swore you saw something like hurt flash across his features before you were interrupted by the waitress setting your milkshakes in front of you.

you took a sip of your strawberry milkshake and any grumpy feelings you had for chan making you order it went out the window. it had been so long since you’d had a strawberry milkshake, or any kind other than chocolate. you always took the safe bet and got a chocolate shake, knowing you liked them, but you’d forgotten how good strawberry was.

you almost regretted snapping at chan as the two of you sat in uncomfortable silence waiting for the food to arrive. luckily, it didn’t take long, considering it was sort of late in the evening and there weren’t many other customers.

you made a gagging sound as the waitress placed a small container of ranch on chans plate.

the playful interaction seemed to give him the confidence to pick up conversation again.

“i used to come here all the time when i was little. me, hyunjin, felix, and seungmin got ice cream here practically every day in the summer.

you hummed in response, taking a bite of your food. the two of you ate in comfortable silence until both of your meals were complete. you shook your head lightly when chan motioned his chocolate shake to you, silently offering you to have a drink. you finished off your own shake with a sigh, leaning back into your seat.

“ready?” chan asked and you nodded in agreement, lifting yourself from your seat to stand.

you followed chan to the counter where he payed, leaving a generous tip for the kind waitress.

you watched as he opened the car door for you yet again and made a secret promise to yourself to beat him to it next time.

wait, next time?

you shook the thought from your head as you fastened the seatbelt across yourself.

you gave chan directions to your house and helped him find each turn along the short drive. it wasn’t far, you really could have walked home.

you couldn’t help but feel slight embarrassment as he pulled into your driveway. his car was probably worth more than your entire house.

you half expected him to make a rude comment about it, but instead he mentioned the small garden you had planted in the front yard, barely visible in the dark. it was lit up by your porch light.

“what do you plant?”

“huh? oh, flowers mostly. i might plant some tomatoes to throw at you though.”

he laughed as you stepped out of his car. he waited until your front door was shut behind you before pulling out of your driveway and making his way home, where he immediately found his bed.

he frowned when he saw two computers on it, you must have forgotten to put yours in your bag before the two of you left to get food.

he packed both of the devices into his school bag before getting ready for bed and crawling under the covers.

although he knew you’d only agreed to hang out for the project, he was glad you had. it seemed like he was finally breaking your shell of whatever you seemed to have against him.

you were digging through your book bag the next morning, muffin in hand, when chan and hyunjin strolled into the classroom, borderline late as always.

your eyes went to chan as he called your name while making his way towards you, lifting a laptop up in the air.

that’s where your laptop had disappeared to.

“you left it at mine last night.”

you thanked him as he set it in front of you, ignoring the whispers that erupted when chan announced that you’d been at his place the night before.

everyone in this class of all people should know it was just for the project.

he pulled his own out of his bag and typed in the password, getting right to work.

the class was quiet, no conversation between you and chan really happening other than when he cursed you out for throwing your muffin wrapper at him and as everyone was packing their things moments before the bell rang.

“my house again tonight to go over what we researched?”

you sharply inhaled, “i promised jisung and sooyeon i’d go to the basketball game with them.”

he shot you a skeptical look.

“i already told you i watch sports sometimes.”

“i’ve never seen you at a basketball game.”

“were you looking for me?” you teased.

he shook his head, “i’ve never seen you at swim meets either.”

you stood as the bell sounded, “i go to sports games, chan.”

he put his hands up in defense, “i never said you didn’t! just making observations.”

you hopped back into jisungs car after dropping your bag at your house, scolding sooyeon for stealing the shotgun seat while you were in your house.

the three of you had killed some time driving around in jisungs car and screaming the lyrics to whatever song came on, so the game was due to start in just about 40 minutes. you waited patiently in the like to get tickets, joking around with sooyeon and jisung to pass the time.

your turn came to purchase tickets.

“$5 a person, please.” the lady handing out tickets smiled sweetly. you assumed she was one of the players mothers.

sooyeon and jisung handed her their money as you checked your pockets for your wallet. where the fuck was it?

“y/n?” jisung questioned.

“i think i left my wallet at my house.” you said.

“i only brought enough for me.” sooyeon chimed in.

“me too.” jisung seconded.

you were getting ready to tell them to enjoy the game without you and tell minho you were sorry you couldn’t make it, that you’d just go home, when someone reached their arm around you, handing a $10 bill to the ticket lady.

“for her and me.”

you knew that voice.

“i don’t want your fucking money, chan.”

he raised an eyebrow, “sweetheart, you’ve been in my house. you know i can spare $5.”

sweetheart? where did that come from?

you huffed, allowing him to lead you out of line to give the people behind you a chance to get their tickets. sooyeon and jisung followed as you stepped into the gym and scanned the bleachers for seats.

“you actually came.” chan started again, “i thought you were just using it as an excuse not to hang out with me.”

“it’s not hanging out, it’s for school.”

“you’re saying you didn’t enjoy the diner yesterday, then?”

you gave him a light shove towards where you noticed hyunjin and felix sat down, “shut up.”

your friends followed you as you made your way up the bleachers and to the highest point, just a few feet from where chan was sat, sitting down in a big opening.

“excuse me,” jisung began, “what diner?”

you shrugged, “we got food after working for a bit, it’s not a big deal.”

“like a date?”

you slapped jisungs arm harder than you probably needed to.

“it was not a date.”

“did he pay?”

“yeah?”

he turned to sooyeon, lowering his voice, “it was totally a date.”

you shoved him again, “jisung, it was not a date!”

your eyes glanced towards where chan was sitting, surprised to see him already looking at you with a smile on his face.

oh my god, he heard them teasing you about him.

your immediate reaction was to flip chan off, which just made him laugh and turn back to his friends.

“you absolute cock,” you lowered your voice at jisung, “he heard you call it a date.”

he shrugged, “yeah, and he smiled about it.”

you ignored him, turning to face the court where the game would be starting soon.

“i’m just saying,” jisung continued, “would it really be that bad if you liked him?”

you didn’t answer him, keeping your eyes trained to the court and pursing your lips together in annoyance.

you didn’t notice that chan had overhead what jisung asked, something in his stomach dropping when he saw your negative reaction to the question.

he returned his focus to his friends, joining in on whatever conversation felix and hyunjin were on about. he tried to focus on them, but he couldn’t keep you off his mind, stealing glances at you every few minutes and hoping that maybe you’d be looking back.

he’d honestly hoped you’d sit with him during the game. there was enough room where he was seated for you and your friends to join, he didn’t get why you had to sit somewhere else. was he really that unbearable?

the game was just a minute away from halftime, the scores tied. you and everyone else in the crowd were on their feet, cheering on their respective teams.

you weren’t the biggest when it came to school spirit, but you were friends with a couple of the players. lee minho was someone you’d known for a long time, he’s actually the one who introduced you and jisung. you didn’t know whether to slap him or thank him for bringing the boy into your life, but either way, you always loved seeing the smile on his face when his team won.

minho had the ball in his control with the seconds ticking away at the timer. he passed it to someone else on his team, moving a few feet before they passed it right back to him. he was lined up perfectly for a three point shot.

you glanced at the scoreboard. 10 seconds until halftime.

he lined himself up to shoot and you cheered him on.

“you got it, min!!”

he released the ball from his hands and it went smoothly through the net just as the buzzer sounded, pausing the game with your team 3 points ahead.

although the gym may have been too loud for minho to have clearly heard what you said, chan heard it loud and clear.

min? you must be pretty close with him to call him that nickname, right? but chan had never heard you mention being close with lee minho before, so it couldn’t be anything serious. of course, he thought, with a twinge in his heart, you probably wouldn’t tell him if there was anything going on. as you’d made very clear the day before, you were not friends with him.

he watched as you rose from your seat and called to minho, stopping him from following the rest of his team to the locker room for a break before the second half.

he turned towards your voice, smiling when he noticed it was you. jisung and sooyeon followed you as you made your way across the gym and to him.

chan couldn’t hear what was being said from the other side of the gym, but he could see the way minho smiled down at you and wrapped you in his arms. he could see how you didn’t even complain about being pulled into the sweaty hug. if chan dared to hug you in that state, you’d probably kill him right then and there. on second thought, if he hugged you at all you would probably snap his neck.

without really thinking, he stood up and told hyunjin and felix he would be back soon. they exchanged a knowing glance as he crossed the gym to you, locking eyes with minho as he called your name.

he noted minhos arm hung loosely around your shoulders.

“i’m getting concessions. come with?”

minho raised his eyebrows at you, as if to ask “since when were you and chan close?”

“i don’t have money, chan, you know that.” you deadpanned.

“i know.” he rolled his eyes, “i’m buying.”

you were about to tell him to go on his own when minho spoke up, turning his face to you with his arm still around your shoulders.

“you go ahead, i should probably join my team.” he removed his arm from you, heading the direction of the locker rooms, “talk more after the game?”

“only if you win.” you teased.

“guess i got something to win for then.” he laughed, turning his back to the four of you.

chan unconsciously clenched his jaw at the interaction, motioning for you to follow him.

“you, too.” he pointed to jisung and sooyeon, “i’ll buy.”

jisung, never one to turn down free food, agreed immediately. you sent a glare in his direction, for all of the complaining you did about him, jisung seemed pretty pro-chan.

while waiting in line, jisung decided to start conversation.

“you’re actually kinda chill, y/n always makes you out to be an asshole.”

you hit jisung and chan let out a small laugh, one that could have easily been taken as amused if you didn’t see the hint of sadness lacing it.

“i can seem that way if you don’t know me.” he glanced at you before returning his eyes to jisung, “she’s getting to know me, though, so hopefully that changes.”

jisung nodded, motioning chan forward where it was your turn to order.

chan politely asked for just a sofa before stepping aside slightly to let you three order.

in natural jisung fashion, he ordered a soda and two pizza slices. sooyeon stuck with just a soda, and you got a soda and a small pack of m&ms.

chan payed for all of you before stepping out of line and sliding his wallet back into his pocket.

you all thanked him for paying as you headed back to the gym.

when you entered, he made his way back to his spot beside hyunjin, glancing back to see if you would follow. to his slight surprise, you did. you placed yourself on the bench next to him, jisung and sooyeon following suit.

his plan had worked, you had just sat down beside him willingly.

felix greeted you with a small wave, introducing himself to your friends. hyunjin did the same before a sly grin crossed his features as he pat his lap.

“i have a better seat for you, y/n.”

you reached across chan to playfully hit hyunjin, telling him to stop being a pervert, but neither he nor chan missed the blush on your cheeks at the comment.

you chatted a bit as a group before the alarm sounded, indicating that the game would be starting up again.

chan smiled in amusement at how into the game you got. he’d notice when you were sat a couple seats away from him, but he noticed it even more so now. he really had been wrong about you not caring about sports.

he watched as you clenched your fists every time the ball got stolen from someone on your team and cussed out the opposing teams members when they shoved one of your boys.

he chuckled as the same thing happened but with someone from your team shoving a boy from the opposing one, but you did not have the same sympathy when one of their teammates fell.

“get up, you’re fine!” you called, eyes following the ball.

you cheered whenever anyone from your team had the ball or scored, but you seemed to cheer a little harder every time it was minho in question. it made sense, you were friends, but chan couldn’t shake the frustrated feeling in his stomach every time you called minho's name.

by the time the game only had a few minutes left, the home team, your team, was up by enough points that it would take a real comeback for the other team to win.

they knew they had the game in the bag, swapping their normal varsity players like minho out with people who didn’t tend to get as much varsity playing time.

chan half expected you to lose interest in the game now that minho wasn’t on the court, but you remained just as invested as before, cheering on the younger players.

unsurprisingly, when the buzzer sounded, you were up by quite a few points. the whole of your schools team jumped up, congratulating each other on their win.

as everyone in the crowd rose and made their way out of the gym to head home, you stood, but remained in the gym.

after sitting with chan, felix, and hyunjin for the past half an hour, it didn’t strike you as odd when they stayed behind with you, sooyeon, and jisung as you waited for minho to shower off and meet you.

“y/n, chan,” felix singled you two out, “how’s that debate coming? pretty sure me and seungmin got this one in the bag.”

you stepped up a level on the bleachers to face felix, motioning between you and chan.

“we’re pretty confident.”

chan laughed, “are we?”

you shot him a glare for breaking your ruse, a laugh erupting from his throat. you took a small step to readjust your position, but your foot slipped off of the edge of the bleacher, causing you to lose balance. as you fell backwards, chan reacted quickly, wrapping his arm around your waist and planting his foot on the bleacher you’d slipped on to secure the both of you from falling.

you’d mentally prepared yourself for the impact, letting out a soft sound of surprise when it never came. chan helped you balance again and loosened his grip on you, keeping one hand on your waist as the other flew up to push your hair out of your face.

“you alright?”

you nodded, violently aware of his hands on your body but not really thinking anything of the interaction until you heard felix and jisung let out snickers.

you brushed chans hands off of you, “what?”

“oh, nothing.” jisung said.

just then, you heard the door to the locker room open and minho stepped out into the gym, changed out of his basketball attire and into some comfy sweatpants and a plain white shirt.

you hopped off the bleachers to go meet him, chan following immediately beside you.

you missed felix and jisungs snickers behind you, “he’s so whipped.”

minho glanced between you and chan again as you approached him. seriously, when did this happen? the last time he’d heard, you had nothing but dislike for him.

he nodded his head to address you, “dinner and ice cream?” he directed the question towards you, jisung, and sooyeon, turning to the others as an afterthought.

“you guys are welcome too.”

you smiled and accepted his offer, trying not to show that you really wished he hadn’t invited the other three. more specifically, chan. you still did not like him, you told yourself.

the more those words passed through your mind, the less truth you felt behind them and the more it felt like an empty phrase.

“where to?” jisung questioned as you all headed for the door to the parking lot.

“that diner a couple blocks away?” hyunjin suggested.

chan shook his head, “me and y/n just went there yesterday.”

you shrugged, “i’m fine with going again if you are.”

chan shrugged back, “it’s decided, then.”

you rode with sooyeon in jisungs car, you didn’t know exactly how the others pooled other than chan was driving, you recognized his car behind jisungs.

jisung parked the car and you stepped out, waiting for the others to arrive and join you before entering the small place.

when you did, you were greeted by the same woman who had served you and chan the night before. she looked between the two of you.

“back again? weren’t you just here last night on a little date?”

your face flushed red and you glanced at chan, his was bright red as well.

he started to politely deny but you broke in, “that was not a date.

she shrugged with a teasing smile, “you sure acted like it was.”

your mouth fell agape as you let her lead you to a table big enough to fit all of you, “no one tip her.” you joked, eliciting another laugh from her.

chan was surprised you’d been so calm about denying it, honestly. he’d expected a huge show, you making a point to make sure everyone in the restaurant knew you were not dating him.

he sat down and you,once again to his surprise, slipped in right beside him.

he frowned, it was like you said one thing but acted out another. you always made a point verbally to tell him and everyone else around you weren’t close but then you did things like that, deliberately choosing to sit next to him when you could have easily waited and positioned yourself between sooyeon and jisung or minho.

minho slid in next to you, jisung and sooyeon after him. felix and hyunjin sat on the other end of chan.

you opened your menu even though you were probably going to order the same thing you always did and a red flag shot off in your mind as your eyes locked with the prices. you’d forgotten you didn’t bring your wallet. you looked at your two friends, either they hadn’t realized their issue yet or just assumed someone else would pay for them.

you folded the menu back up and set it in front of you.

chan raised his eyebrows, “already decided?”

you nodded before softly speaking, “i’m not hungry.”

he frowned, “wanna just get a milkshake or something?”

you shook your head, playing with your hands in your lap.

he nudged you with his shoulder, “hey, my treat. get whatever you want.”

you looked at him with wide eyes, “you’ve already spent so much on me today.”

he waved you off, “$10 is not a lot, sweetheart. plus, i remembered you didn’t have your wallet when i agreed to come. i intended on paying for you anyway.”

you nodded, face flushing at his comment.

you’d be blushing if anyone called you by that nickname, you told yourself.

you made no move to grab the menu again, you would just opt for your usual.

the waitress arrived and took everyone’s order one by one. you decided to get another strawberry shake. after having the one yesterday, you remembered how good they were.

a few minutes later everyone’s drinks arrived, the waitress stating that the food would be done shortly. you took a sip from your milkshake before glancing over at chan.

“does the offer still stand from yesterday?”

he frowned and you gestured to the milkshake, indicating you wanted a sip.

he nodded, pushing it in your direction. you took a drink of the chocolate milkshake and then frowned a little, taking a sip of your strawberry one before tasting the chocolate again.

chan laughed, “what are you doing?”

“deciding which one i like more.”

he chuckled, reaching for your shake and doing the same.

��i think they’re pretty equal. both good in different ways.”

you agreed, saying they both had their own charms.

the waitress finally brought the food out and you had to bite back a remark as she set the ranch down on chans plate again. he noticed the look on your face as you eyed the sauce.

“are you going to fight me about my ranch again?”

you were going to reply, but minho cut in.

“i’m sorry y/n, do you have a problem with ranch?”

you looked between the two, “yes, actually, i do. who the hell eats it with chicken?”

the rest of the table caught wind of the conversation and joined in.

felix pointed at your plate, “barbecue all the way.”

jisung and hyunjin agreed, sooyeon stating that she liked both.

“okay,” jisung prompted, “but which ones better?”

“i swear to god if you say ranch we’re replacing you with felix.”

hyunjin pouted in faux hurt, “why not me?”

you shrugged, “or maybe hyunjin, i don’t know yet. we’ll hold a challenge to decide.”

she laughed, “not necessary, i’ll keep my spot. i gotta say barbecue over ranch.”

minho and chan groaned, they were heavily outnumbered.

“her opinion doesn’t count,” chan grumbled, “she’s not even eating chicken right now.”

you laughed and for a moment chan thought he was in a dream. the way your lips curled into a smile and your eyes shined while you laughed made his stomach do flips, the fact that he was the one causing your laughter just making it all the much better.

the meal was pleasant, fun and casual conversation flowing between everyone as you ate. the time to pay came and the waitress approached the table again, gathering the empty plates and glasses.

“how should i split the bill?”

chan spoke up first, gesturing between you and him.

“we’re together.”

felix scanned the table, “anyone need someone to cover them?”

both jisung and sooyeon timidly raised their hands, felix telling the waitress to but then on his tab. hyunjin and minho both payed their own.

as you all got out of your seats and headed for the door, jisung spoke to you.

“y/n, we should hang out with your rich friends more.”

chan heard the words leave jisungs mouth and prepared himself for your reply, but you didn’t say anything along the lines of what he’d expected. you would have. in fact, the words were just at the tip of your tongue.

“they’re not my friends, jisung.”

but as they almost left your lips, they didn’t taste right.

instead, you gave a small laugh, “or you could get a job and use your own money.”

“nah,” he waved a hand in dismissal, “who would drive you around then?”

you waved everyone goodbye as you hopped into the back of jisungs car, letting sooyeon take the front seat because you knew you’d be getting dropped off first anyway.

a week went by and it was finally time for the debates to start. each debate would take an entire class period, so you and chan didn’t have to go until the thursday of the week. you ate your muffin as quickly as you could, silently pouting to yourself that you would have to throw your own wrapper away today without even having thrown it as chan. what a waste.

you’d dressed up a little bit more than normal being that you knew it impacted your grade. you stood at the front of the room with felix and seungmin waiting for chan to arrive so you could begin.

he and hyunjin entered the room seconds before the bell rang, chan not even bothering to go to his seat to put his bag down, just laying it near the door.

you let out a small laugh at the way you, seungmin, and felix were dressed so much nicer than normal, but chan looked just as he did every day.

“you look nice.” was the first thing chan said to you.

you thanked him just as the teacher introduced who would be debating and where each team stood on the topic.

you and chan were set to give the first opening statement, which you’d both agreed you would say. but as the teacher gave the good to go, you found the words stuck in your throat.

chan noticed your nervousness, gently placing a hand on the small of your back and rubbing soothing circles with his finger.

if you’d been told a few weeks ago that chans hand on you like that would calm your nerves, you would have punched whoever said it in the face.

but now, as you focused on the way his hand felt against your back through the thin fabric of your outfit, you felt the anxiety lessen slightly. it was still there obviously, but you were able to get the words past your lips with a tone that made it sound like you were confident.

chans hand remained on your back until the opposite team's opening statement was completed and it was his turn to speak, getting into your first argument.

he’d taken a chance by touching you, but now he was glad he had. regardless of what you said, the way you reacted to his touch proved to him that you didn’t hate him. at least not as much as you claimed to.

the debate was rounded off and there were still a few minutes left of class. there would be no actual decided winner, just a grade to mark how well your teacher deemed your performance.

still, that didn’t stop you from arguing with felix that you’d obviously beat him and seungmin.

“we demolished you, lix.”

“you so did not,” he laughed back, “we actually had to go easy on your guys because we felt bad.”

the four of you argued playfully until the bell rang, releasing you to your next class. chan stopped you just outside the door.

“hey, y/n?”

you turned to him, humming to acknowledge you’d heard him.

“i’ve got a meet tonight, do you wanna come?”

you were taken aback by the question.

“oh, um, where is it?”

“it’s home,” he replied, “just a couple hours after school gets over, so you could probably just wait here if you wanted, we’re not really going to be practicing anyway.”

“i’d have to see if jisung can give me a ride to my house so i can pick up my wallet...”

“no need!” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small card, “use this.”

you frowned slightly at the piece of plastic, it was his fan pass, a free ticket for one person of each swim team members choice to get into every meet for free. each person only got one a season for the sake of still gaining profit, and chan was giving his to you?

you hesitantly took it from his hand, sliding it into your own pocket.

“are you sure?”

“yeah!” he beamed, “you’re the only one i could really think of who i’d want to have it.”

you felt your heart swell at his words, watching as he turned from you and headed to his next class.

you couldn’t fight the stupid grin from climbing onto your face and the giddy feeling in your stomach. chan wanted you at his games, more than anyone else. enough to give you his fan pass to make it easier for you to afford to come.

your heart did a summersault before dropping in realization.

you had been so focused on making sure you didn’t have any platonic feelings for him that you’d completely ignored the possibility of a different kind of feeling.

you had fallen for bang chan.

you didn’t mention your realization to anyone, not even jisung or sooyeon. the only mention of going to the swim meet was when you asked them if they wanted to go with you. sooyeon had to go to work, but jisung said he’d try to make it, letting you know minho would be there even if he himself couldn’t go.

they all went home to drop their stuff off before the meet, but you denied jisungs offer to give you a ride home. instead, you headed to where you the boys would be, as chan put it, not really practicing.

you entered the pool room and saw that he was not joking around, they really weren’t practicing. they weren’t even in swim gear, all just sitting in a circle on the concrete next to the pool and chatting. you noticed a pile of backpacks near the door and you added yours to it before stepping in further.

you weren’t sure whether to approach them or not, they didn’t seem to be doing anything serious, would it be okay for you to join them?

as if reading your mind, chan called you over to sit beside him, sliding closer to one of his teammates you didn’t know the name of to make room for you.

“who’s this?” one of his teammates asked with a curious smile.

“his girlfriend.” hyunjin piped up, earning a chorus of cheers from the rest of the teams. your face flushed red and chan waved his arms to calm everyone down, “y/n is not my girlfriend.”

you swallowed thickly, just a week ago you would have jumped to agree with those words, but now they made your stomach hurt. when did this change even happen? you couldn’t pinpoint it.

he noticed your discomfort, placing a hand on your knee to calm you down, hoping you would have the same positive reaction to his touch that you had that morning.

noticing the action, one of his teammates spoke up.

“not your girlfriend my ass.”

instead of responding to his teammate, chan directed his attention towards you.

“the meet starts in about two hours. i’ve gotta go in one to get ready, do you have someone to wait with you so you’re not alone?

you nodded, “i know minho is for sure coming, jisung might too.”

he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of minho coming, but at least he knew you wouldn’t be sitting alone.

you thought it would be awkward sitting with chans swim team for an hour, especially considering how much they’d already teased you, but it was actually pleasant.

the group of you talked about random stuff, laughing and joking around. you’d even learned some of their names. jeongin and changbin were the two you spoke to most, aside from chan and hyunjin.

the time came when they had to go prepare for the meet and get changed and you waved them all goodbye, pulling out your phone to text minho and ask if he’d gotten to the school yet.

he responded almost immediately that he had just parked and would be in in a few minutes. you walked out to greet him by the ticket booth where there was already a line forming.

you slipped into line beside him and started casual conversation.

“do you come to sports stuff alone a lot?” you asked, referring to the fact that if you hadn’t been asked to come he would have been sitting alone.

he shrugged, “i guess. you don’t need someone with you to enjoy a sport.” he send a wink your way as he lightly pushed you with his shoulder, “everything is more fun with you, though.”

you laughed, stepping ahead to show the woman taking money the pass chan had given you. before you could get it out of your pocket, minho was thrusting a $10 bill to the ticket taker.

you stopped him, pulling the card from your pocket and showing it to both him and the ticket taker.

“i’ve got this, you don’t need to pay for me.”

he furrowed his brows in confusion, “chan gave you his fan pass?”

you nodded, a blush forming on your cheeks.

he nodded, swapping the $10 for a $5 bill to avoid getting unnecessary change.

you walked into the room and caught sight of your backpack. it was alone on the floor now, all of the boys had taken theirs with them when they went to get changed. you moved to pick it up, pausing when you noticed a sticky note on top of it.

paper clipped under the note was a small amount of cash, and scribbled across the piece of paper was a small note. you knew the handwriting right away, you’d been forced into too many ethics projects with chan not to recognize his handwriting by now.

“forgot to give you this! for if you get hungry :)”

you didn’t notice the smile on your face until minho commented on it.

“what, he’s your sugar daddy now?”

you shoved him lightly, laughing at his joke.

you swung the bag over your shoulder and pocketed the money along with the note (it was cute, you wanted to keep it).

being there so early, it was quite easy to find a good spot. chan had told you which lanes and pools he’d be racing in so you knew where to sit to be able to see him, too.

deciding to finally ask what changed between you two, minho spoke up.

“didn’t you hate him like less than a month ago? and now you have his fan pass?”

you shrugged, “he got less annoying. started acting like a normal person instead of an asshole.”

minho frowned, “he seems the same to me.”

you shrugged, “he probably acts different around different people.”

“so,” he continued, “are you two like...”

you shook your head as your face flushed pink.

“no, no. he just didn’t have anyone else to give the pass to.”

minho raised his eyebrows but hummed and accepted your answer anyway.

you hadn’t noticed time ticking by and the area growing more crowded as you talked until a man stood on a high platform near the center pool with a microphone in his hand began to speak, welcoming everyone to the meet.

the races began and chan wasn’t in any of the starting line ups, but hyunjin was. being the only other person you really knew, you focused on him.

watching swim was different than watching a lot of other sports, but you enjoyed it anyway. there was no fighting for a ball or scoring goals, no ball to follow, but it was just as entertaining to watch the way the water worked with every swimmer.

you were still amazed with hyunjin’s movements. you weren’t surprised in the slightest when his race ended with him being the first to complete the set.

as much as you found hyunjin interesting to watch, you couldn’t help but be happy as the first round ended and the second began, the first chan would be competing in.

you watched as he stepped out to the edge of the pool, scanning the crowd for you. he smiled and sent a small wave in your direction before getting into position to dive.

you ended up not using any of the money chan had given you for drinks and snacks, not even when minho got up to go get some food of his own. you stayed planted in your seat the whole time matches were occurring, always either trained on hyunjin or chan. there were the occasional time that neither of them were racing in any of the pools, but it wasn’t often and rounds were never long enough for you to leave without missing anything.

at the end of the night, the added up scores were close, but chan’s team had won. you weren’t as caught up on the scoring system of swimming as you were of other sports, but you didn’t need to know. the announcer let out the final scores of each team, your schools team coming out on top.

people stood and began to leave as the swimmers began towards the locker rooms and the team managers started cleaning up the pool area and covering the pools again.

chan waited for you before leaving to change, allowing you to congratulate him on the win.

minho said a quick goodbye, stating he had to get home and do some work before it got too late, leaving you and chan alone.

before really realizing what you were doing, you wrapped your arms around chan and held him in a tight hug. he faltered for a moment before wrapping his arms securely around you, holding you close to him. you moved to pull away, but he kept you locked in his arms.

“chan, let me go! you’re still soaked!”

“you hugged me first, you asked for this!”

your hands found his chest as you planted your palms there and pushed him away from you, suddenly very aware of the way his bare chest felt under your hands.

you retracted your hands from his body, wiping them on your pants to dry them off.

ignoring your thudding heart, you spoke.

“now i smell like chlorine.”

a sly smile spread across his face, “no, now you smell like me.”

you blushed and he took a step closer to you, closing the distance between the two of you and holding your elbows as he kept you close to him.

“thank you for coming.”

you smiled up at him and teased, “i only came because you asked me to. i really hated it.”

he gasped in faux hurt, “you mean to say you didn’t enjoy watching me shirtless for three hours?”

you shook your head, “hyunjin looked pretty good though.”

he chuckled and you felt his grip on your arms loosen as he moved one of his hands to your face, cupping your cheek.

the next thing you knew his lips were on yours and for some reason, that didn’t upset you in the slightest. you kissed him back, his lips were so soft for someone who spent half of their time in chlorine soaked water.

he pulled away and scanned your face for any sign of discomfort, a big smile covering his face when he found none.

“i’m not going to lie,” he chuckled, “i kind of thought you’d punch me when i did that.”

you laughed, raising your eyebrows, “i still have time to.”

he removed his hands from you and held them up in defense, taking a step back from you. you laughed even more at his reaction, surprising the both of you and closing the gap, hands going to his neck as you pulled him down into another kiss.

the moment was cut short as the locker room flew open and hyunjin stepped out, pausing in the door when he saw the scene taking place in front of him.

a smile crept onto his features and he spoke with a teasing tone, “i thought she wasn’t your girlfriend.”

you both laughed softly before chan responded, “she wasn’t.”

“is she now?” hyunjin prompted.

chan looked at you with his brows raised as if to ask “i don’t know, are you?”

ignoring the furious blush across your cheeks, you replied, “i mean, yeah.”

hyunjin clapped just hands loudly, “fucking finally.”

“language, hwang!” the coach called from across the large room.

“my bad,” he yelled back before directing his words towards chan, “you should get changed.”

chan nodded, sending one last smile in your direction before walking into the locker room and leaving you and hyunjin.

“when you realize i’m way hotter than chan, give me a call.” he sent a teasing wink in your direction and you laughed as he left the room, leaving you alone.

you waited patiently for chan to come back from the locker room, scrolling through your phone. you debated texting your friends the new update, but you figured you’d just tell them the next day.

despite being the last to go into the locker room, chan was not the last out. he came back to you just a few minutes after leaving.

he held his keys up, signaling it was time to go. you followed him to his car, letting him pull open the door for you. you slipped in as quickly as possible, slamming the door shut behind you and pressing the button to lock the doors.

chan sent a small glare in your direction, but you could see the smile threatening to poke through.

he held up his key fob, clicking his own button to unlock the doors. he made a move to open the drivers side door and pulled on the handle just as you clicked the lock again. you repeated this a few times before letting out a loud laugh and finally allowing him to get into his car, tossing his things into the back seat.

“we’ve literally been dating for less than an hour and you’re already terrorizing me.” he grumbled.

he paused for a moment before continuing, “straight home or are you hungry?”

you shrugged, “whatever you want.”

he nodded, pulling the car out of the parking spot, “food it is.”

he didn’t bother to ask what restaurant you wanted, heading to the same little diner a few blocks away he’d taken you to before.

you laughed as you entered the diner to see the same waitress that had served you the last two times you were there.

“do you ever go home?”

she laughed, “do you two ever eat anywhere other than here?”

“touché.”

you chose your spot before ordering almost immediately, you’d learned that chan also tended to stick with the same choice every time.

“hey,” chan called to the waitress before she could walk away, “guess what?”

“what, dear?”

chan reached across the table and grabbed your hand, “it’s an official date this time.”

she broke into a big smile, “i knew it was only a matter of time.”

you sat down at your spot the next morning with a pout on your face. for the first time in about a month, there was no muffin on your spot.

it wasn’t like whoever put them there was obligated to give you one every morning, but you’d gotten so used to it.

you looked ahead at who would be debating today, you couldn’t recall any of their names.

chan walked through the door earlier than normal due to the fact that there hadn’t been practice that morning because of the meet the night before. you smiled at him as he approached your table, but the smile dropped into a look of confusion as he placed a muffin ahead of you before slipping behind you.

he sat down, “morning, baby.”

when you didn’t respond, a concerned look crossed his features.

“what’s wrong?”

you held up the muffin, “you’ve been giving me these?”

he shrugged, “yeah. i remembered you saying you didn’t always get breakfast.”

as he smiled at you something clicked in your brain.

minhos words from the night before repeated themselves in your head.

“he seems the same to me.”

that’s because he was the same. that was it, he hadn’t changed. he never stopped being an asshole, he just never was one in the first place. he wasn’t ever a prick, you just had your heart set so strongly on hating him that you saw everything he did in the worst way possible. the things he used to do that annoyed you were now things you grew fond of. the way he bumped your chair sometimes in the morning used to make you livid, but now it brought a smile to your face. you used to want to rip his head off when he hummed while working, but you adored the sound now, even going so far as to not put in headphones so you could hear him. he was the same boy he’d always been.

he didn’t change, the way you saw him did.

but just as quickly as these became things you loved about him, they fell right back into being annoying habits.

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queerian · 3 years ago

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a roundup of things i have screamed at my friends on discord about CH Cherryh’s Invader

this is the second book in the Foreigner series, some mild spoilers may be contained within, but honestly, the whole series is just one long Bren Cameron and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

also forgive me for misspelling anything, i read Foreigner last year but i’m listening to Invader on audiobook so the spellings are not in my recent memory buffer

It’s so funny how Bren is always focusing on the wrong things I love it so much He understands so much and so little

Jago, banichi, tano, algini, ilisidi, cenedi, and the lady damiri’s entire household staff: my poor little meow meow the paidhi Bren: what a shame that the atevi have no word or concept of friend or love Also Bren: you have to understand, nadiin, that humans don’t have the biological imperative of association or manchi.

Jago, extremely offended that barb dumped Bren: that bitch Bren: I could never think that Jago considers me a friend. She’s atevi Bren, describing jago and banichi in such loving language but they could never love me back

This is the funniest take on pining

@darling-child-tisarwat here’s my favorite bren line ever tho i think it’s from book 1: “we have to like somebody, we’re bound to like somebody, or we die, banichi, we outright die.” not dramatic at all

Me: He’s so dramatic and has NO IDEA he’s so obsessed with conveying the right micro nuances He had NO CLUE

bren: gets injured, yeeted to mospheira and back in 24h, deals with pain and planetary and personal and professional crises, doesnt sleep or take meds, absolutely gluts himself on information overload and stress banichi: i will lay down my life to protect this delicate and dramatic little thing

@sylvanauctor jago: i'll never betray you nand'paidhi bren: she's just saying that to be nice

God I just realized he must be in his twenties He’s a baby!!! (i say this with all the creaky age of a 31 year old) Apparently he’s 27 in inheritor

Shannon: Can’t stop imagining Banichi and Jago as the confused but loving coparents of a very excitable little dog. Something fluffy and yappy

Me: fhsdfhgfd gotta make sure his little outfits and hair ribbons are all just so brencameron frisé banichi and jago to other atevi who dont know the paidhi: he's temperamental but he's very darling once he gets used to you. and so terribly loyal!

Shannon: He’s not committing a terrible faux pas on purpose, he’s just a little puppy!

Me: paidhi bren cameron: god. i'm so sorry. i pissed on the carpet. i'm SO sorry

bren: jago what is going on. where's banichi jago: *crickets* banichi: *shows up 45 minutes late with starbucks* gaslight girlboss gatekeep

bren: god. im so sorry. i'm such an idiot. god. you must all think me SUCH a clumsy fool tano: literally everyone here is pulling for you what the fuck bren: i cant fail at this terribly important job. i MUST say the right words. it's terribly important that i dont fuck this up tano: you've received two proposals of marriage and several bags of mail from school children

bren: they have no concept of friendship every atevi except jago, banichi, and tabini: i shouldnt be telling you this but-

@cassyblue/Erin: im still mad that bren is straight like that man is at least bi

me: i have not gotten to any point that confirms or denies this please let me live in blissful ignorance sure he's only mentioned dating a woman but he's clearly in love with both jago and banichi this is another reason he is hilariously adjacent to ivan vorpatril in my head (the other reason is how they think about/mentally categorize the overload of incoming mail)

Erin: Hes like Ivan if ivan didnt grow up in a toxic masculinity world

Me: bren: at home on mospheira no one gives a fuck about politics as long as their vacations arent affected ivan: literally everything about my life is dominated by politics Erin: i dont think Bren could survive alys hed just got mowed over

Me: ALYS. ILISIDI.

#invader #cj cherryh #cherryh #foreigner series #ancillari reads #queerian

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 4 years ago

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positive

warnings: pregnancy, anxiety

word count: 3.8k (look at me go 😃)

Your stomach clenched as you walked into the store, keeping your head down. You didn't want anyone to see you. They would probably know what you were here for just by looking at your face.

You paused for a moment, wondering why you thought that would be so bad. You were an adult; a woman with a job and a house and a husband who loved you. There was nothing shameful about this. Worrying, yes. Terrifying, absolutely. But not shameful.

Even so, you refused to look at anyone as you made your way to the aisle you needed. Once you got there, you finally looked up, staring at the rows and rows of pregnancy tests.

You grabbed the closest one, wanting to get out of there as soon as you could. You brought it to the self check out, scanning it quickly and throwing it in a bag. You didn't release the breath you had been holding until it was safely hidden under the bag of chocolates you had also purchased. You had decided those were necessary, too. To manage your stress levels, obviously.

Once you got back to your car, you took s few steadying breaths.

Everything will be fine, you reminded yourself. Harry will be happy. He definitely wants kids. You’ve talked about this.. You know he will be happy.

Knowing that still didn't help much. Your hands were shaking as you turned the key in the ignition, backing out of your spot and heading home.

-----

This had been the longest two minutes of your life. You sat on the edge of the bathtub, shaking with nerves and forcing yourself to take deep breaths. The timer on your phone slowly ticked off the seconds until you could check the test. 45 seconds left. You stood, pacing in front of the sink.

30 seconds left. You braced your hands on the vanity, looking in the mirror. Were you really about to be a mother?

15 seconds left. You counted silently along with the timer, getting more nervous with each passing moment.

You stopped the timer on the first beep, taking one final steadying breath. You ran your hand through your hair, looking into the mirror again. You were a mess. Your eyes were red and watery, the mascara you had put on earlier smudged underneath.

You reached for the stick on the counter with a shaky hand. Just as you picked it up, your phone rang. You jumped, gasping and nearly flinging it away from you. You looked at your phone, heart pounding when you saw Harry's face smiling up at you. It’s like he knows, you thought. You quickly shook that idea away.

You exhaled shakily, setting the test down without looking at it and answering the call.

"Hi Harry," you said, sliding down to sit against the wall and pulling your knees to your chest.

"Hi love! How're you doing?" He smiled, leaning back against his dressing room wall.

"I'm- I'm good," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. "I'm just- I'm good."

"Are you sure? You sound like something’s wrong," He said, cursing himself for not FaceTiming you.

"No, I'm fine," you said. You almost laughed at how easily he could read you, even when he couldn't see you.

"Ok, if you're sure," he said, sounding hesitant. Immediately, his mind went into overdrive. What is she doing? Where is she? Why does she sound scared? Did something happen? Is- He was pulled out of his spiral when you spoke again.

"I'm sure, H. What's going on, though? Don't you have to perform in ten minutes?"

"I do, yeah, but I just really missed you," he said, sounding almost shy. "I haven't heard your voice in so long, just wanted to say hi."

You smiled, resting your head against your legs.

"It's so good to talk to you, I feel like it's been forever. I hate being so far away from you, in a whole different time zone. It's very stressful," you said, sighing.

"I know, and I'm so sorry, but it's only for two more days- oh," He smacked his hand over his mouth, but the damage had already been done. She wasn't supposed to know about that, you idiot, he mentally yelled at himself.

You sat up quickly, moving your phone away from your ear to check the date. You weren't crazy, it definitely read "Tuesday, March 8".

"What do you mean two more days? I thought you weren't back until the 24th?"

"Uh- oh boy, you weren't supposed to know- I wanted to surprise you. The shows got cut short. I wasn't going to tell you, I was just going to show up at the house and fall into your loving arms," he said, sighing dreamily. He smiled, already excited to see you for what felt like the first time in ages.

"You- you're not- Harry!" You practically yelled into the phone. You were elated at knowing you would get to see him so soon, but your panic quickly took over. What if the test was positive? You had expected to have two more weeks to figure out how to tell him that he was going to be a father.

"Wow, Y/N, I expected you to be happy!" he said, laughing. "Come on, you don't hate surprises that much. Plus, it's me," he said, shoulders slumping a bit. He kept his voice light and happy, but inside he was worried. Does she not want to see me?

"No, of course I am!" you said quickly. "It's not- I just... I planned to-" You paused, searching your mind for a believable lie. "I was going to paint the bedroom, you know, redecorate. Then when you came home it would be totally finished, and it would be all cute and everything."

"Well, this way I can help! It'll be fun, you know, a group project." He laughed, relaxing again.

"Yeah, sounds good," you smiled. Knowing him, he would probably be sending you paint swatches and furniture ideas for the next two days. He might actually be disappointed when he got home and you had an entirely different conversation ready for him.

"Two minutes, Harry!" you heard faint yelling in the background before Harry spoke again.

"I'm sorry, I've gotta go, they're yelling at me. Call you after?"

"Of course. Have fun, babe!"

"Thanks. Bye!"

Harry hung up, setting his phone on the dressing room vanity before he made his way to the door. Right before he stepped out, though, he had an idea. Spinning around, he quickly went back to his phone and pulled up his mom's contact.

Harry: I'm going onstage soon, could you go check on Y/N? I think something's up but she won't say. Thanks, love you️❤️

"Harry, get out here!" Someone yelled again.

"I'm coming!" He responded, quickly pressing send and putting his phone back down.

-----

You finally found the courage to stand up again. You decided it was best to do this fast, like ripping off a bandaid. So you reached for the test, flipping it over before you could lose your nerve.

Positive. It was definitely positive. You exhaled shakily, sitting down on the closed toilet seat.

You weren't sure how long you sat before you heard a knock at the door. You flinched, deciding to just ignore it. It couldn't be that important. At least, not more important than the crisis you were currently having.

The knocking didn’t stop, though, so you finally got up from the floor. As you made your way to the kitchen, you heard a gentle voice calling your name. Your head snapped up, red-rimmed eyes glancing through the window to see who it was. You nearly collapsed in relief when you saw your mother in law standing at the door. You quickly moved to open it, smiling apologetically at her.

“Anne, it’s good to see you, come in,” you said, holding the door open wider. “I’m sorry I took so long, I didn’t know you were coming by!”

She smiled back, stepping inside and pulling you into a hug. You leaned into her, eyes welling up as your emotions washed over you. She pulled back, looking worried.

“Y/N, what’s the matter? Oh, don’t cry dear, come, sit and let’s talk.” She led you into the living room, sitting you on the couch next to her. “Harry sent me. He was worried about you, said he thought something was wrong. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Your eyes welled up again at how thoughtful harry was. He could tell you were upset, even over the phone. Even when you insisted everything was fine.

“It’s just...” you could barely speak through your tears. “I’m sorry, I’m- I don’t know how to say this, it’s-“

Anne looked at you encouragingly, rubbing your back in a soothing motion.

You took a deep breath. “I’m- I think I’m pregnant,” you whispered.

Anne’s eyes went wide for a second before she broke into a smile.

“Really? Oh, Y/N, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you,” she said, pulling you into her arms. “But wait- you think? Did you take a test?”

“Yes, from the grocery store. But those aren’t always accurate, right?”

“I suppose, but... I don’t think those give false positives, almost ever. Y/N, are you- Are you not happy about this?”

“No, I am, I just- what will Harry say? He’s touring again soon, and there will almost certainly be more of that. What if he doesn’t want to put his entire career on hold? What if he’s not ready to have a baby? What if-“

“Y/N, slow down,” she said, pulling away to look at you. “Have you met the man? He loves children. He loves you. He loves you more than anyone else on this earth.”

“Besides you,” you added, chuckling. “And Gemma.”

“Honestly, I think that’s a three-way tie” she said, laughing. “Why don’t we get you a doctors appointment, confirm this.”

“Yeah, that’s probably smart,” you said. “Thank you so much, Anne. I was so scared,” you said, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

“Of course, love! Anything for my daughter in law,” she said, hugging you again.

-----

Anne insisted on driving you to the appointment the next day, claiming she “wanted to be involved in every part of her possible grandchild’s life.” You had accepted reluctantly, not wanting to inconvenience her but secretly glad you weren’t alone.

Your leg bounced as you filled out the papers. You brought the completed forms to the desk, thanking the woman who told you the doctor would call you back soon. You settled back into your chair, checking your phone when it dinged.

Just like you had expected, Harry was sending you paint colors. He had sent about ten different shades of grey, then about twenty five different blues for “the accent wall”. You smiled at how excited he was. He was already great at domestic life, why should that be any different with a child?

-----

You texted Anne when the appointment was over, letting her know which door you were at. You got into the car, unable to contain your smile.

“Everything alright?” she looked at you expectantly.

“Yeah, I’m definitely pregnant,” you said, smiling. “Anne, you’re going to be a grandma.”

“Oh, congratulations! I’m so happy for you,” she said, leaning over the console to hug you. “Have you thought about how you’re going to tell Harry?”

“I actually do have an idea,” you said, pulling away to fasten your seatbelt. “Do you still have your Cricut?”

-----

You beamed as you held up the white onesie.

“Let’s see it, then!” Anne said excitedly.

You turned it around, revealing the large black Jersey font that read “STYLES 03”.

She was smiling as wide as you were. “That’s just precious, he’s going to love it,” she declared.

“Yeah?” You asked, grinning.

“Absolutely.”

Just then, your phone rang.

“Speak of the devil,” you said when you saw Harry’s face. You picked up the call, putting him on speakerphone so you could finish your project. “Hi Harry! Sorry I didn’t get to call you again yesterday, how was your show?”

“It was great, love, it went really well. How are you? Feeling better?”

“Yes, much. Thanks for sending your Anne to check on me, that was very sweet of you.”

“Yeah, of course! I’m glad she could be there, even though I couldn’t,” he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

“Don’t make yourself upset, Harry, I’m always here for Y/N!” Anne said from across the table.

“Oh hi mum! Didn’t know you were there too. What have you two been up to?”

“Um...” you looked at Anne desperately, not sure what to tell him.

“Just been looking through some furniture, love,” Anne jumped in. You smiled at her gratefully.

“Oh, about that! I was thinking we should get one of those benches, you know, the ones that go at the end of the bed? I think they just add a nice little accent to the room. What do you think?”

“Sure, Harry, we can find one of those,” you said, smiling. Just then, you heard a strange grinding noise. You looked down to see the Cricut attempting to eat the vinyl you had been printing out. Your eyes went wide, trying to get Anne’s attention without alerting Harry. She yelped when she saw what you were pointing at.

“What happened?” Harry asked quickly.

“Uh, nothing, we just... found a really nice rug. I gotta go, Harry, talk later!”

You quickly hung up, trying to suppress your laughter as Anne fought with the machine.

“Stop that, you stubborn thing!” She said, pulling the paper out. “That’s quite enough out of you,” she said sternly, pressing the off button when the machine beeped at her.

Once everything was settled, Anne picked up the onesie again, smiling at the letters.

“Y/N, you really don’t have to worry. He’s going to be elated, truly.”

“I know, it’s just... a little scary,” you said, laughing nervously.

“Sure it is, this is a big thing! But remember that it’s a good thing, and it’s something you both want very much. And of course, so do I.”

“Right, of course,” you laughed. “Do you have a gift bag? I want to wrap that so it’s ready to give to Harry as soon as I can.”

-----

Your stomach had been fluttering since you got the text from Harry. The text. The one that read “just touched down! I’ll be home in two hours ️”. The text that meant you were about to tell him something that would change his life forever.

You were pacing in the living room, unsure of what else to do. You had tried to read a book, but that was useless. You found yourself reading the same sentence over and over with absolutely no comprehension. Then you tried making some pasta for Harry, since you knew it was his favorite and that he would be hungry. This didn’t go so well, though. You were so nervous and shaky that you almost splashed boiling water all over yourself. You decided it wasn’t wise to horribly injure yourself, so you moved on from that. You even tried watching Grey’s Anatomy, which had never failed to distract you before. Even so, you found yourself unable to relax. All you could think about was Harry. What would he say? What would his face look like when he saw the onesie? Would he get it, or would you have to outright tell him you were going to have his child?

You decided to listen to “Kiwi” to get yourself ready to say “I’m having your baby” in case he needed extra help understanding.

At this point, you were basically just watching the clock. You were sure the seconds had never been so long, even when you were waiting for the results of the test.

Finally, you gave up on trying to get your mind off the topic and decided to dive headfirst into it. You made your way upstairs to the room closest to you and Harry’s.

This will be the nursery, you thought with a smile.

You began to map everything out in your mind, from where the crib and dresser would go to what color the blinds would be. You quickly opened Pinterest, very creatively searching “cute nurseries”. You immediately made a new board, flooding your screen with images of play pens and rugs and wall stickers and rocking chairs and everything else you could possibly need.

The time passed faster than you had expected, and the next time you looked up it was 4:52. Knowing he would be home in less than 10 minutes started a whole new rush of nerves in you, and your heart started pounding again.

You went back to the living room, grabbing the little gift bag before going into the kitchen. You adjusted the tissue paper, making the onesie was completely concealed before you put the bag on the counter near the door. You leaned back against the sink, checking your phone again. Your heart jumped when the time changed to 5:00, knowing he would be home any second now. He always managed to get home exactly when he said he would, usually not even off by a minute.

By 5:01, your heart was absolutely pounding out of your chest. Your hands were shaking, so you gripped your phone tighter to steady them. You thought about going into the living room so you could sit, but then your thoughts were interrupted. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard the sound. A car door slamming.

You could barely breathe from the anticipation as you heard his heavy footsteps on the porch; his key clicking in the lock. You rushed forward to let him in, but he had already flung the door open.

He dropped his bags, not paying the slightest attention to where they landed. He didn’t hesitate for even a second before he surged forward, pulling you against him.

“I missed you so much,” he said, breathing heavily. “I would have died if I had to go one more day without seeing you.”

“H... I can’t breathe,” you said, your face squished against his chest. He laughed, loosening his grip just enough for you to fully inhale.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m just so happy to see you,” he said, pressing his face to the top of your head. “I’m never going on tour without you again, I was so lonely.”

You smiled, standing up on your tiptoes to kiss him.

“I’d be ok if you took me with you next time,” you said, wrapping your arms tighter around him.

You stood there in his arms for a few more minutes, just listening to his heart beating. He swayed you gently, breathing in the sweet smell of your conditioner. Finally, he lifted his head.

“So, tell me everything!”

“Everything about...?” You said, looking up at him quizzically.

“The decorating! Did you and my mum buy any good stuff? I’m ready to go, I’ve been thinking about this for the past two days.”

You felt your face heating up as he looked at you. You felt kind of bad that your lie had gotten this far. He was practically ready to redo the entire house, thinking that’s what you wanted.

“Uh... why don’t we go to the living room?”

“Sure,” he smiled, grabbing your hand to lead you.

"Wait!" you said, pulling back. You reached behind him, picking up the gift bag. Then you smiled, allowing him to lead you to the couch.

Once you were both settled, he turned toward you expectantly. You took a deep breath, knowing everything was about to change.

“Ok... I’m really sorry, but I lied to you,” you said, avoiding his eyes. “There was no redecoration, there was no painting, there was no rug.”

“I- why? What were you doing that you couldn’t tell me about?” He asked, looked confused and a little bit hurt.

“No- it’s not... I wasn’t-”

“Why was my mom here, then?”

“Harry, just let me-”

“Why did you- was there-”

You could tell he was spiraling, and that he was probably imagining some pretty bad things. You couldn’t really blame him, though. You had been acting weird and secretive and now you straight up told him you had been lying. You knew this looked bad.

You quickly placed your hand on his knee, trying to ground him.

“Harry, will you let me talk, please?” You asked gently, looking in his eyes.

“Yeah, of course, I’m sorry,” he said, placing his hand over yours.

“Ok, here goes,” you said, blowing out a breath. “When you called me two days ago, the day you told me you were coming home early, you were right. Something was wrong. Well, not wrong exactly, just... scary,” you said, trying to collect your thoughts. And then when you called yesterday, when your mom was here, we weren’t looking at rugs. We were... crafting.”

“Crafting?” He said, looking confused. “Crafting what?”

“Well, it was... actually, why don’t you see for yourself?” You said holding up the gift bag.

He felt how shaky your hand was against his leg, and he looked at you with concern.

“Y/N, what’s going on? Are you alright?”

“Just... just open it, I’m fine,” you managed to get out.

He pulled away the tissue paper, looking very nervous. He lifted the tiny garment out, holding it up in confusion.

“What’s...” he trailed off as you motioned for him to turn it around. When he did, you were met with the big letters telling him there would soon be a third member of the Styles family. You quickly looked at his face, trying to decipher his thoughts.

He lowered the onesie, turning slowly toward you.

“It’s... you’re... really?” He said, a slow grin spreading across his features.

You nearly fell back against the couch in relief as you nodded.

“We’re... really?” He asked again, seemingly in disbelief.

“Yes, really,” you said, smiling.

“You’re- we’re having a baby?”

“Yes,” you repeated. “We’re having a baby.”

You barely got the chance to take a breath before he jumped on you, pushing you down on the couch and kissing you. When he pulled back, he didn’t go far. He leaned his forehead against yours, smiling from ear to ear.

“We’re having a baby,” he whispered.

“We are,” you said, grinning.

“Wait,” he said, pushing himself up. He took your hand, pulling you up with him. “Does this mean we don’t get to redecorate? Because, honestly, I was getting really excited about that, I picked out some really good colors-”

You laughed, pressing your face against his chest.

“We can do whatever you want, we just have an extra room to think about now.”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “The room where our little jellybean is going to live.”

#Harry Styles #harry styles/reader #harry styles/you #harry styles/reader fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you fanfiction #harry styles x reader fanfiction #fanfiction #one direction #one direction fanfiction #fluff #fluffy #pregnancy #dad!harry

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captainsspnanon · 2 years ago

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C2E65 - Chases and Trees - rewatch

Columbo or Critical Role….Columbo or Critical Role…. I think Critical Role, tonight!

We got some more good travel coming our way, and then we head into one of the few dungeon crawls of the campaign. The crawls can be hit or miss with me, but I remember really enjoying this one a LOT, so I’m hoping it holds up on the second watch!

I forgot the nonsense that this DnD Beyond campaign turned into XD How many more bits of this do we have? I know we’ve at least got the reversal reveal that it was actually Sam, the master debater bit, and then the closing statements bit where Liam goes full movie-i-can’t-remember-the-name-of. Do we have more than those four? (not counting the results at the live show, and then the reveal of the actual ‘presidency’)

Aww, Ashley being “I’ll take first watch” and going like anybody? Anybody? Ready to RP please but I need someone to RP with!

Jester says maybe Yasha was a rock star during her memory loss!! How much longer til the bone harp? I feel like that’s AAAAGES away, but oh what a payoff to a throwaway bit! WAIT JESTER EVEN SUGGESTS THAT SHE PLAYED A HARP

Ugh, the details of the Fields are so visceral and beautiful, it feels so ALIVE and REAL. The creature scratching it’s back on one of the barbs, the dried out shell of the tortoise providing shelter and for them to explore, JUST SO GOOD. I am trying to be a bit analytical of why this feels more alive to me than stuff from C3 – even though C3 gets plenty of detail, and I’m honestly not sure? I know that Matt had collaborators in designing the continent for C3, maybe he feels more set by what was created by other and not as free to improv, whereas C2 he was basically the sole creator and thus could improv whatever he wanted? Because let’s be real, we’ve gotten plenty of lovely descriptions of stuff in C3, but I tend to find details slipping from my mind. Eh, it’s probably like Zadash. Zadash had a ton of stuff described at the beginning, but by the end of the campaign, Zadash was just the Gentleman’s and Pumat’s and that was it. (realistically, it’s probably also because I started with C2 so that will likely always be my favorite and my ‘best’, the same way that people who started with C1 tend to talk about how C2 wasn’t anywhere near as good, and people who are starting with C3 are talking about how C2 is so hard to get into XD. 90% + of the time, your first will be your favorite, IMO.)

(brain going brrrrrr….time to switch to columbo)

(it’s like two weeks later now. I can watch the first episode of season 4 of Columbo, or head into CR. Think I’m feeling CR today!)

(wait I’m less than 45 minutes into the episode, what. I thought I got further than this. Shame on me!)

It’s within the past few episodes that Jester has really started to notice and become disappointed with Nott’s frequent drinking. I believe it started when Nott felt she had to be drunk to confront Yeza, and has only steadily worsened from there. I like how Laura has taken this and progressed it very slowly, to reach a boiling point on this trip with her taking the flask. (I also appreciate that Laura mentions later in Talks that this is a very bad way to actually deal with alcoholism in real life, but this is a dnd game so bad decisions ahoy!)

I’m a bit sad I spoiled this fight for myself. I didn’t use the critrolestats heavily when I was first watching C2, so this time around I’ve been going through all the monster analysis and such. Which means that I will click forwards until I get to the next blog post relevant for the episode, skipping the media references/jokes as that’s not my particular interest. As such, I saw the post for the gloomstalker fight and literally went “don’t they just find the tree and the roc? What gloomstalkers?”. And now, here they are! Kicking myself just a bit as I genuinely would have been surprised when this occurred, especially as there is the tension of ‘you see a shape’, ‘you can tell the shape is the big creature, but lying down’, ‘the creature appears to be dead’, ‘there are dark blobs that are on the creature OH THEY’RE MOVING’ like – I would have completely fell for the tension! As I’m sure I did the first time I watched.

Fucking SAM. This giant goofball throwing out tactical plays when you least expect it! Oddly, the moment of having the illusory moorbounder and rider falling behind the group? It feels much more like Sam doing it than Nott doing it, to me. Perhaps this is a reason that I’ve struggled with Nott a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but she’s sort of the last on my list (excluding the Tealeafs), and I couldn’t figure out why. With this, I think I’ve got it now. When Nott does something clever such as this, I’ve been attributing it to Sam, rather than the PC. Travis does something clever? That was Fjord. Marisha putting pieces together? It’s Beau. Liam making big moves? Caleb has nerves of steel when he needs it! Sam making an awesome play? Good job, Sam. *shakes head at myself* THAT has been some damn stupid bias on my part, and I’m not even sure why I’ve done that! I need to readjust my thinking. NOTT is the one who made the illusion of the moorbounder. NOTT is the one who had the illusion fall behind, to distract the gloomstalkers. Not Sam, NOTT.

….I’m SO disappointed in myself that just that realization is having me go ‘oh wow, Nott is so much smarter than I gave her credit for!’ WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

Okay, in at least some fairness to myself, this is actually a consistent struggle that I have with all of Sam’s PCs. Sam in some ways has the Dimension 20 style of play – improv comedian going for the joke no matter what. And while I am fully enjoying Dimension 20, I do not in any way get as invested in the PCs as I do with CR, and it’s because the players are always Visible. At CR, there are a lot of times where you actually forget you’re watching the players because the PCs take the forefront and it’s just like watching them as if they were in full costume and makeup – so to speak. In D20, the players are at the forefront with all the jokes and references (as well as their style of play and interactions with the DM and other players). (also let me be clear, this is not WRONG. It’s just different, I thoroughly enjoy both CR and D20!) Sam is frequently the member at the CR table where it feels like Sam is forefront, and his PC is less visible. I have this issue with Scanlan, with Tary, with Fresh Cut Grass, as well as with Nott. And it does mean that I give at least some of the PCs less credit than they deserve (Tary and Nott for the most part. Mainly because Scanlan IS a joke deliberately for the first chunk of C1.) I doubt this realization will change things overall for me, but hopefully now I can be aware of it more!

(last bit on this topic – but this also techincally plays along with the stats, with Nott currently having the second highest INT at the table until Beau gets her headband. Nott IS the second smartest, she just displays it in different ways than Beau and Caleb, and she’s also heavily self-deprecating and robs herself of a lot of her own talents)

I really enjoyed the first part of the combat being non-standard (I canNOT think of the word I want to use right now) with no rolling of initiative, but still respecting the essential balance of turns. Of course, there is something delightful with all three moorbounders failing their con saves, and then moving this into a more classical combat encounter.

This seems to be around the time where Matt has started using HDYWTDT more regularly, which I’m mixed feelings on. With the last battle and this, there were multiple assailants, and each one got the HDYWTDT. While I appreciate having the more detailed descriptions from the players knowing it’s the death blow, there still is something very exciting having the last (or the most important) opponent be the sole HDYWTDT in a combat. Even though the question serves the same purpose regardless of who it’s for (provide flavor for the finishing move), there’s the level of ‘yay killed the guy’ and ‘HOLY CRAP WE DID IT OMG WE WON’. That’s the downside of it become a catchprase of kinds, I guess. Instead of just being a utility statement, it becomes a Thing, and then when it’s used for it’s utility purposes, the Thing feels like it’s being cheapened.

Lol I like that it’s been so long, Liam/Caleb forgot he could cast dancing lights under a rag.

OH GOD THIS IS THE SILLY STRING!!!! in honor of liam and laura’s birthday – yup, that makes sense. Fricken chaos twins

I do like how they immediately call Travis out for being the first to fire, but we all know it’s Liam. Liam is pure chaos, but in just a different way that people tend not to think of him as chaos.

I feel like I eventually need to watch a supercut of all Essek moments, just because every time I hear Matt speak as Essek I always think it sounds wrong, which means that I don’t know what I even think Essek actually sounds like! Either way, I still wonder why Essek says that they’re doing him proud by making it to the Arbor Exemplar. It doesn’t seem to feel right, either with Essek deep in deception mode, or Essek slowly warming up to them. Perhaps just related to the fact that Essek told the Bright Queen that he trusts their capabilities, and the fact that they’ve made it there is proving him right.

Caleb asking Nott if she wants to sleep with vulture!Frumpkin tonight, my HEART. It really is quite obvious how Caleb shows affection through Frumpkin, and then every moment is just seeing it more clearly.

The beauty of the Wildmother reaching Fjord and saving him from the Uk’otoa dream is two-fold. Thee-fold. The first is just the imagery and knowledge that the Wildmother is reaching out to help Fjord, that she is giving him the opportunity to be better than he is and not feel the need to remain with Uk’otoa just for the powers he provides (or at least, the start of Fjord’s journey with this). The second is the rest of the cast reacting as Matt narrates. And the last is the beauty that you can only see with a rewatch after you’ve watched the Talks, where Travis says he though Matt was referring to Fjord’s mother rather than the Wildmother. Travis/Fjord’s face in this scene – the widening of his eyes, the slight hint of a smile – with that knowledge, adds a level of tenderness, longing, wistfulness…..just a soft subtle moment from a misunderstanding that genuinely leads to a much more beautiful moment.

Considering I had much more of a remembrance of a blow up in regards to Tori, I think I completely missed the aspect of this story going over Beau’s self-deprecation and lack of confidence. She really was so put down when she was with her family. She gets bailed out of jail, and because of that she thinks that Tori hates her forever, to the point where she’s reluctant/scared to try to find her again because she expects Tori to punch her in the face? For something that wasn’t in her control? Either Marisha discusses what she thinks would happen later on down the line, or my brain just added more into it – feelings about being a ‘rich kid’ able to be bailed out, the fact that Tori wasn’t bailed out as well, etc. etc. But in the end, in the truth, there’s a lot more assumptions of feelings by Beau than her taking the time to find out the true feelings that Tori may have had, which parallels quite nicely with Beau’s overall arc and character growth by the end of the campaign.

“I’ve seen you. I’ve seen you a lot.” OOOF. I thought this was from WAY later in the campaign, by around the time they were almost dating! This early?? And also, right before Obann takes her away??????? That is a sucker-punch to the GUT. And for Beau to hear that, and then less than a week later have Yasha ‘betray’ the group?? No wonder she got so defensive so quickly. UGH THESE TWO.

(for the record, Beau’s also in her Jester crush stage at the moment, and has been for a bit though I’m not sure where to pinpoint the start of it, but while it’s a fun pairing, it was never one that I really shipped. Mostly because Jester really has been so singularly focused on her interest in Fjord, but also because the Beau and Jester dynamic to me has always felt more of a fast bonding friendship – with the roommates and silly conversations and deep conversations and opening up your heart. If it had become the canon ship I wouldn’t have felt that it came out of nowhere, but I feel like it would have required a solid chunk of roleplay from Laura to smoothly transition from Fjord feels to Beau feels. With Beau and Yasha, yeah it’s awkward and stilted and uncomfortable at times, but it feels like there’s been mutual interest from the start, even if the interest was more shallow or superficial. Ashley did confirm in the wrap up that Yasha did go to brothels, so it’s not like she didn’t let herself have any interest outside Zuala, just that I think she shied away from any romantic interest for the longest time.)

Out of the 69 total recorded rolls for Frumpkin for perception on critrolestats, he averages either a 12.8 or a 13 depending on if I made a mistake in my calculation or not (there’s either 68 or 69 perception rolls and I can’t be assed to go through a second time). There are a lot of high rolls in there, but also a lot of low rolls. Still, it’s above average! I’m team Give Frumpkin Credit. XD

Beau running up this tree is so fucking badass I can’t even. I was shocked the first time I went into dnd forums and saw people shitting on monks and saying monks were bad because my experience of monks was BEAU BEING FUCKING AWESOME.

Honestly? This climbing section would be a great introductory scene for someone for either considering getting into critical role, or wondering what dnd can be like. You’ve got 1) showing off the skills of a class via Beau not needing to roll to run up the tree, 2) showing off the mechanics of the game by having Fjord and Jester roll, 3) showing off how failing the game can work by Jester falling on a nat 1, versus just clinging to the tree and not increasing on a 9, 4) showing off how you can play with a failure by Fjord using thunder step and Nott and Caleb using feather fall to save Jester from the nat 1, 5) showing off how roleplay is involved with Jester coming up with in game reasons for not being able to progress (her hands are sweaty because she fell, she’s nervous!), 6) showing off how the DM is in control but still will play by the rules, but can also change adjustments on the fly, and then 7) showing off how even if you’re not involved in the scene you can still have fun with Caleb making the decision afterwards to polymorph, and Caduceus reacting to each thunder step damaging the tree.

Liam’s eagle cry is reminding me of a flut-flut from jak and daxter. ...*goes to check voice credits* nope not him okay never mind

OMG when Beau jumps from the tree Marisha does the EXACT SAME ARM MOVEMENTS as the Keyleth cliffjump!!

I totally forgot that the actual roc was there because I only remember the bit about the roc baby, but now I’m vaguely remembering. Don’t they polymorph it and it keeps attacking Jester? Like as a baby bird or baby bat or something?

#critical role #the mighty nein #cr c2 rewatch #reminder that these posts may contain spoilers for all of C1 and C2

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-Yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 1

It’s been a while since I visited the many times Yugi should have gone to jail, AKA season Zero, and I’m excited to visit it again.

If you just got here, this is Season Zero, which is very different vibe and a different direction plotwise than the other seasons and you can read the season zero recaps from the start in chrono order here: https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi%20muto/chrono

So be warned, this is a 90′s anime, and it will do 90′s anime things, and I expect y’all reading this aren’t like 12.

Like I said in an earlier post, I wrote this out fully when I was going through the symptoms from my second dose--which PS, is worth it--but those symptoms knocked me out for 10 days. I was kind of a space cadet, and yo, I made some mistakes. Including writing this post out in full and then not clicking “save” on this post and then not realizing I had done that until several days later.

So long story short, I don’t remember what I originally wrote here, but lets all assume it was weird, and didn’t make sense and wasn’t funny. We’ll just assume this was for the best that it was deleted forever.

So this episode is about 2 things: Yo-yos and Jounouchi. Both get used as a tool for violence, and both need to get just a little bit cursed by Yugi to scale it the hell back. So, understandably, we start off this episode with Jounouchi, who has eagerly identified with this off brand yo-yo he apparently got out of a dumpster for being just a huge ass defect.

(more Yo-Yo crimes under the cut)

I see you dodging copyright infringement, Yugioh. Eireboy.

Also whenever I read “Eireboy” I do it in my mind in the same pacing and vocal tones that Pegasus uses to say “Kaiba boy.” Something about it’s conjunction to Yugioh, I see anything with “boy” at the end of it, and it’s voiced by a weird guy with one eye.

So I wrote these caps under the influence of my second dose, just assuming y’all understand the life I lived, but I realized writing this episode...traveling bands of yo-yo performers that go to your school and shill yo-yos with yo-yo shows in the hopes that it will get you so obsessed with yo-yos that you will not join a gang and do drugs and have sex may be just an American thing.

So when I saw a yo-yo episode I was like “Tight! Clearly, the yo-yo clowns have come to town!” and I assumed everyone in this class would be draped in yo-yos, because I just assumed that at some point at School you will get MAD OBSESSED with yo-yos for about 2 weeks.

But in this episode, everyone was like “Jounouchi, why are you playing with a random yo-yo?” and it didn’t occur to me until typing this out just now: only Jounouchi is doing this. He did this unprompted, without the encouragement of a bunch of middle aged performers doing tricks to techno music.

So instead, I have to think of Jounouchi as Ralphie in this scenario, and he just got a official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time for Christmas, but he’s gonna shoot his eye out.

Because yo-yos in this episode are basically guns.

...Kind of like a duel deck was also just a gun...

...or the wands in Harry Potter...

...which honestly...I’ve probably said this before but where I’m from, we just use straight up guns in these elaborate analogies because we freakin have to make the point crystal clear. The moment Ralphie finally got his hands on a bb-gun, he very nearly shot his eye out and broke his glasses. And that scene will haunt me until my dying day...

...but fine, we can use yo-yos, I guess it works, although to me, yo-yo’s are just teachers hoping you’ll become such a dork that no gang will accept you (and then in this universe, it does the opposite? So freakin weird).

The beginning of this episode is Jounouchi trying do his best to impress with his skills, but in actuality, getting very close to clubbing Anzu with a yo-yo. And, while Anzu is the strongest person in Yugioh in the later seasons, I feel like Season Zero Anzu is another level. It’s a serious tempt of fate that Jounouchi is doing, so Honda wisely cuts him off from doing any more of that so she won’t end up strangling yet another person in broad daylight in the middle of school.

Remember your yo-yo safety, children.

Straight up, Honda’s version of yo-yo safety is to just Never Use a Yo-Yo and that’s the most gun safety thing ever that they’ve slipped into this Yugioh Episode. I almost expected Yuugi to pull a “well, actually, I use a hunting yo-yo to get enough venison to feed my family.” But youknow, he lives in a city, so while Yugioh is pretty weird and Yuugi has to worry about a lot of things--he doesn’t have to worry about that.

This is actually foreshadowing, which I only realized in hind sight, mostly because I just can’t associate a Yo-yo with crime. Joey knowing how to use a yo-yo was foreshadowing that he was absolutely part of this gang in a past life.

Yeah that one went completely over my head the first time and the second time and it really wasn’t until just now that I finally caught it. Hoo boy, sometimes I wonder why y’all let me analyze this show.

Jounouchi decides to confront the yo-yo bandits and everyone else is like “Silly Jounouchi, he’s not gonna do that. That would be stupid.” And...in S0, they don’t know him well enough yet to know that he really is that much of a well meaning dumbass.

I think a S1-5 Yugi would have been sprinting out the door to keep Joey from killing himself (again), but Season Zero Yuugi had hope that Jounouchi would just naturally tucker out and fall asleep or something.

And he was so wrong.

Anzu’s “New Tricks” line was from the dub itself and man that’s a good line. I love Anzu’s sass in Zero.

So, Honda decides to help them find Jounouchi so all of them together could give Jounouchi an intervention for skipping school. This is the same Honda that once skipped school to babysit a tomagachi and said it was because of “Maternity leave,” but don’t worry about the hypocrisy, because from this episode we learned that Jounouchi needs a very short leash.

So this episode is a great Jounouchi episode to explain stuff that still hasn’t been explained in 5 seasons of Yugioh. In S1-5, we don’t get much about his home life other than his Mom left and his Sister lives far away and is like sickly as hell. We know nothing else. But this is the episode where we finally get to find out why Yuugi and his Grandfather decided to basically adopt him from S1 onward.

Yugioh is tackling some pretty heavy territory, but I respect the show for not trying to magically change Jounouchi’s parents like they did to Dartz. Instead, the crew decide to reach out and try to find their friend who clearly didn’t go home last night (and won’t be going back for a while), by checking every alleyway in Domino.

Fun fact Yuugi drops this episode, Domino is one of the biggest cities on Earth. This makes the Battle City Tournament even more crazy when you realize Kaiba shut down several blocks but, it also makes a tiny bit more sense how we have so many Millennium items in one place. (Yet...it still doesn’t explain Bakura and Joey’s accent.) And, I guess if your city is just extra large, you get an extra large warehouse district, too.

Speaking of, they eventually find Jounouchi at his new (but also old) crime antics mugging some random stranger next to this Game store that I just realized was cropped so it looks like it says “GANG.”

Say hello to our crime clown. He’s sort of like a discount joker, and that beanie is...man it is green.

I forget this green exists sometimes, but Season Zero has it as one of their prime colors. Good ol’ Retro Kaiba green.

I’m a little tempted to swatch Season Zero a bit and figure out their full color scheme--it’s really saturated, which is interesting when you compare it to the later seasons which are a lot more muted since...the 00′s were like that, they greyed a lot of colors out. But I’ll do it later if I do, maybe another post for another day.

Jounouchi and Honda, before they moved to the school with Yuugi in it, used to go to the same school and up until now I just assumed they were close friends. But apparently they were a lot more distant than that. I’m sure they met up several times as Jounouchi destroyed stuff and Honda came along in his volunteer janitor outfit to put the stuff the hell back, and maybe that’s how they got to know eachother better?

But basically, Jounouchi was the freakin worst, and Jounouchi’s best friend was Hirotani--this 45 year old 15 year old with the blue pony and turquoise fade--and Honda has SO MUCH hot goss to say about it.

I really get the gist that Honda may not have liked anyone else at his old school, like at all. Like maybe Honda likes cleaning up trash so much because his school was just trash top to bottom.

As is tradition, Yuugi got his tar beat in by Hirotani. Another concussion to add to his list of issues to tell his future therapist that lives in that puzzle he wears around his neck.

I still expect him to do a double cross, but it seems they wanted to keep it a relatable and more realistic fall-out, where Jounouchi has just bounced on them without even a goodbye. He and his Dad had a bad fight, and Jounouchi was like “well so long to all of this and everyone that has anything to do with it.”

In later seasons, Joey is the one trying to save other people. He’s saving his Sister, he’s saving Mai, he’s saving Yugi, but in this season Jounouchi’s friends had to save Jounouchi from himself a few times now.

I like this depth to his character, I’ll be honest. I can understand why S1-5 don’t touch on it, and I don’t think it’s because they didn’t want to have an abusive Dad storyline, because they did that several times over with Seto Kaiba (man the Dad situation in Yugioh is DIRE.) Instead they probably just felt like Season Zero already did it, so why do it again?

It’s just a shame that it wasn’t talked about in the other seasons. Joey makes a lot more sense to me now because we get to see why Jounouchi is so hard set on saving people. S4 Mai Valentine, who ditched everyone and joined a gang? That’s basically a Joey move, and that was why Joey Wheeler was all over that.

Really would have added a lot to that particular arc if the show...actually talked about Joey’s history at all rather than assume I would have watched something that was never released in the States. Instead...it just looked a lot like he had only romantic motivations, which may not have been what they were going for.

Speaking of romantic, check out this sunset. Like the sun is exploding for some reason--just a wild sunset you only see for a still frame before a commercial break.

As Joey, youknow, takes on an entire rival gang single-handedly.

Hey guys, I lived near a pretty big city most of my life and I have been on a roof...once. Just the one time when I was doing an internship in SF with a painter and we needed to take a reference photo of his painting for a gallery (and it was hella sketch, and we weren’t exactly allowed up there). Who are all these people giving teens Roof Access? It’s so hard to get! Even if you live in an apartment of a tall building, I can count on zero of my fingers the amount of times I was allowed on that roof. But TV shows and movies--they freakin love roof gardens and roof hangouts and roof fights.

Am I missing out?? How did y’all get on the ROOF? I know I’m on S5 of Yugioh now and I have seen a lot of roof stuff, but like...is this normal for everyone else? I know there’s schools that have roof sport--that’s common in the city everywhere--but that’s like...specialized roofs with 30 ft chainlink fencing and really good supports to your body doesn’t fall straight through it when you jump too much. The hell is using their normal ass roof?

This gang should have their legs swinging halfway into the floor below them, is all I’m saying, if my roof couldn’t handle our solar heating, then a normal ass roof cannot support a gang fight.

But it does look really, really cool.

Anyway, Anzu does some offscreen snooping and finds out where the crime hangs out, and suggests that we step right into crime zone and just yank Jounouchi out of there. Which is something you would only do and say if you were Anzu and cannot fear death.

If it were Jay’s it would be with an ‘s. That’s how you do a plural Jay. But it’s the 90′s, so we put a “z” on the end of everything that should have been an “s” and that’s how you get the...

I mean, thank you, dubbers, for not saying “Jizz” but for reals...that be Jizz.

Please don’t flag me, Tumblr. (which, PS, I think they turned off the flagbot, Tumblr hasn’t flagged me in forever and I’m so thankful. Mods are asleep, we can talk about anime again)

So even though Honda decided that he was fed up with Jounouchi and didn’t want to save his ass, he decided to give it another go but complete with some new sash. He also did this without telling any of the others, who just kinda spectated him for a little while.

Honestly, if they weren’t laughing at him, I wouldn’t have known that this sash was any weirder than any of his other sashes. I don’t know really know what a school uniform should look like. It’s a shame, I feel like this series has a lot of jokes and puns probably soaring right over my head.

A little bit embarrased he was caught being vulnerable, Honda decides to give us a little more context to why he ever decided to give Jounouchi the time of day in the first place.

They had PE class once, and Honda apparently loves the hell out of PE. Jounouchi ran really fast in a straight line that one time, and that is why he’s trustworthy friend material. He just needs to stop joining gangs, and he’ll be solid.

I have no idea if the fandub put that in there or if that was native to the show, but Miho legit stans Honda/Jounouchi and acts as if she’s off to write some fanfiction about it. Honestly if she did, it would make her so much more interesting of a character.

And so, until next time, we shall have to wait and see exactly what Yami Yuugi is going to do with a freakin Yo-yo and I’m sure it’s all sorts of real effed up. Excited to get there, honestly. A shame it had to happen on the part that isn’t dubbed yet, but I’ve done these subbed before, it’ll be fine!

#Season Zero #Yuugi Muto #Jounouchi #Honda #Anzu #yo-yo #Jounouchi joins a gang #Gotta go save Jounouchi's ass I guess #Miho #she was here too I guess #Just a great Jounouchi episode for the Jounouchi stans out there

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insufferablelust · 4 years ago

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okay, so... matthews been working on his new script alot and you need attention. so you go into his office in just one of his button ups, instead of him fucking you right away he says you can come sit on his cock. if you are good he will fuck you but if you arent he will keep adding time. you end up sitting on him for an hour. for the last 15 mins he makes you edge yourself. then, he picks you up and bends you over and fucks you. he makes you watch in the mirror that is in front of his desk

Look, Its the queen again! @slutforthegubes is literally one of the only person who keeps me going and keeping me in a creative mindset! so thank you so much bb!! love you!

WARNINGS : Smut obvi, Dom!Mgg x Sub!Reader, Degradation by name calling, Rough sex, Slight exhibitionism, Spitting in mouth stuff :), Slight breeding kink, edging, orgasm denial, over stimulation, aftercare and um just your usual filthy smut from me you know the drill :)

excuse the writting errors! thank you and happy reading. view my other works —> MASTERLIST

It’s been an hour since Matthew decided that he needed to work on his newest script on a Sunday morning, you were half asleep when he pressed lingering kisses on your neck before announcing that he has some script reading to do, which you groaned at but still too drowsy to process anything. Of course, Matthew didn’t want to leave the bed at such an early morning on a Sunday nonetheless but he really needs to get this done.

But now here you were, all alone sprawled out on your shared bed, with no warmth from your boyfriend to engulf you. An annoyed huffed left your lips as you clutched onto his pillow, trying to inhale as much as his scent as possible, you want to drown and bathe in his scent, you want him— no you need him. It’s safe to say that you were desperately needy for him.

This doesn’t happen too often, but it does happen sometimes, more times than others now that you finally have the time to really enjoy each other. Sometimes you get like this, so turned on that you became a mindless little brat, and the only thing that can soothe your neediness is none other than Matthew. You just want him to pound into you like tomorrow doesn’t exists, maybe choke on you a little, and hearing his condescending tone as he spank you for being bad, god you need it and you need it bad this morning.

The heat inside your belly swell up at the scent of him, causing you to hump a little against the silky sheets, the fact that you’re naked and covered with his marks on you from last night’s activities only fueled up the building intensity within your core. You wanted to be good for Matthew, desperately after all, he doesn’t have that many rules for you, just the essentials like “Don’t ever cum without my permission, nobody and that includes you shall touch what’s mine unless its under my permission, and obey everything i said unless you safe word.” But you’re so needy, you’re willing to humiliate yourself by letting your cunt graze against the silk and moaned— technically you didn’t break any rules.

Soon enough, your need for him only became stronger and humping the sheets felt so dull compared to the pleasure you know he can give you, you just need him to be inside you that’s all. Letting out a frustrated sigh, you get up, quickly putting on one of Matthew’s button up that was tossed to the side and head downstairs looking all cute, and... messy— your hair is a cute mess, your nipples hard against the shirt, your eyes looked hazy, your lips red and bitten raw, the marks on your neck to your collarbones as well as the ones on your ass were exposed, and the dripping wet core between your legs. God, you looked like a fuckable goddess.

When you knock on his office door your feet jump giddily, knowing how this will go down, surely he can’t resist you looking this good and marked just for him... Oh if only you knew how patient Matthew is at keeping you on the edge.

—————

“Come in”

His voice sent her straight to heaven, she thought as she leaned against the door for a second before taking a deep breath and then open his office door, revealing a very very focused yet intimidating looking Matthew. His lips tucked away between his upper teeth, his veiny fingers holding the script as his glasses covered eyes taking through each words, plus his mismatched socks, blue and green this time. You kept wondering, How can one look so cute yet hot at the same time.

You closed the door before padded down on the carpeted floor, to where he’s sitting. “Hi, Matthew!” Your chirped, tone way too high, that has him immediately looking up from his script. See, You and Matthew knew each other so well, that even by how you act and speak can show what mood you’re in, and when he looked at you wearing his large button up, clearly no bra or panties, messy hair, and high pitched voice, he knows exactly what you’re up to, and oh no, Y/N has chosen a very very bad day to be naughty.

“Princess, come here.” He pat his lap, signaling for you to sit which you happily do right away, but when you tried to straddle him, both of his hand gripped your waist tightly so you stilled on your feet, looking at him with confusion “What’s wrong?”

The way he smiled sent goosebumps all the way to your core, as you gulped loudly. “I told you to sit on my lap, not to straddle my thigh. You don’t think you can fool me do you baby? I know how desperate little thing like you wouldn’t be able to resist grinding your needy cunt against me. It’s pathetic really.” Your eyes met his, but whilst his eyes shown unmerciful, your eyes begged for mercy. A perfect balance.

You really should’ve learned that there’s no way you could escape something that’s so clear already, yet you still run your mouth, “I wasn’t going to! i thought—“ you stopped abruptly when he suddenly pushed two of his lean fingers into your mouth as a way to shut you up. Y/N gagged a little, eyes watering before lowering them in submission, her mouth follows the gesture— suckling on his fingers eagerly.

“Oh would you look at that? the needy baby knows her place after all.” He scoffed, his other hand released your hips then pulled his fingers out of your mouth, bringing the wet fingers down past her (his) button up, Y/N gasped quickly at the way it trails up from her slit to the tip of her clit in a very agonizingly slow pace.

“Well somebody’s wet, isn’t she? been having fun without my permission, pretty girl?” He cooed, tilting his head with his eyebrows raised, and his lips curled into a tight smile. He’s mad, he’s burning mad.

“No! no, sir! i never touched what’s yours.” You defended yourself, trying so hard to not let your knees buckled at the sensation of his fingers slowly torturing your pussy with feathery touches and flicks around your clit.

“Shut up.” He ordered, “you know.. you weren’t as quiet as you thought baby, ‘s a shame really, you should’ve known how loud and greedy you are.”

“But i wasn—“ He dangerously cut you off, with one hand gripping the base of your throat and the other pushing two fingers up your pussy, pumping them slowly.

“Be quiet, petal.” He demanded, his fingers going faster and faster as he curled them upwards to thrust on your spongy walls making you tremble against him and involuntary tightening your walls around his fingers. “Gonna cum, princess?” you cried out a loud ‘yes please!’ at his coos— you were so close that your eyes fluttered shut, you breathing hitched when his hand around your throat tightened and he pulled out his fingers with a condescending laugh.

“Not so fast, love.” He pressed a soft kiss on your cheek, the contrast evident from how you were gasping heavily, “Now, I still have few more scripts to go through, since you’re here already why don’t you be a doll and sit on my cock, but you can’t cum, you can’t make a sound, and you can’t move. If you move even an inch, best believe there’ll be consequences” He explained slowly, suggesting how mushy your brain is right now, overwhelmed by the intense pleasure, but you knew that he demanded.

You obediently nod, receiving a small ‘good girl, i love you, baby’ from him that made your tummy warm, it was a reminder that no matter how rough and far he took it, this is all for your pleasure and his. Y/N smiled shakily whispering i love you, as she pulled his cock out, lining it up with her slit before she sink down on his length slowly, causing the both of them to moan out loud.

“That’s it, such a perfect whore for me. Sit still now baby, i have some work to do.” The way he snapped out of his demeanor to his dominant one really had you shaking, plus the way his cock filling your pussy— it honestly felt too much, too good, and warm. You just want to cum, this is going to be so hard, you thought as you try to sit still, leaned your head back against his shoulder and closed your eyes.

———

The first 10 minutes was a torture, Matthew is well endowed— not too big that it hurts, but perfect enough that you can feel the burn from his length stretching you out, he’s long enough that when he thrust up, the head of his cock hits the perfect spot inside you. So accommodating his size wasn’t easy, you practically squirming in his lap that has him slapping your thigh more than 10 times, with a harsh “Quiet.”

Then 30 minutes had passed, you were comfortable enough that you shakily asked him some questions about his scripts as he read them, but even then you still receive a total of 5 slap to your thighs for practically grinding on his cock— well who could blame her? she’s filled to the brim of him.

When they reached 45 minutes, Y/N watched as Matthew finished reading the last of his script— she can practically feel herself start to throb around him, itching to jump up and down his cock like a bunny. So she looked up at him through her lashes, batting them innocently, “Sir.. can i.. can we.. please? you’re done right?” You purred nervously as he put his files back onto the drawer. This is it, you thought.

“No, i’m not done. I’m going to get a call in a minute, and i want you to stay here and quiet like an obedient little slut i know you can be.” Okay.. that wont be too hard, usually his calls only last 10 minutes and you’re content. But as you were about to answer, your jaw fell open as quick as your luck have.

“And i want you to rub that pretty clit, edge yourself for me, every time you’re close i want you to slap it gently 3 times before going back at it, no stopping. If i hear a squeak or i see you stop or move on my cock, i won’t let you cum tonight. Understand?” He demanded right next to hear ear, voice all raspy and deep sending chills right up her spine.

She doesn’t have any choice but to say “yes, sir.” Knowing full well that if this wasn’t something that she wanted she could stop it, but she wanted this, and deep down she knows how much Matthew love seeing her all squirmy and needy mess for him.

So he pressed a kiss to the side of your head before picking up the call from his manager. His hand tapped your tummy twice, signaling for you to start. Slowly, you bring your hand down your clit, feeling the wetness from where your cunt connected with his cock, gasping quietly as you rub the wetness on your clit. If you thought that before was a torture, then this is death. You can’t even control the way you shake as you keep on rubbing your clit like he asked, meanwhile he’s talking about an upcoming project.

You panted heavily as you slapped your cunt 3 times when you felt how close you were, your face was a mess, tears streaming down your cheeks and you’re practically squeezing around Matthew’s cock earning a grunt from him, and a warning pinch on your thigh.

“N-no i’m alright, yeah i stubbed my toe.” He glared at you as your eyes begged him, you were seconds away from coming all over his cock when he finally— finally ended his call.

Matthew didn’t waste any time, he gripped your wrist and slapped it away from your cunt, using his own fingers to rub your clit fast as you clench all over his cock. “You’re so cute, but i’m afraid i’ll have to ruin you, baby.” He whispered as if you haven’t been acting like a desperate whore for him this whole time. “Just for you! just you fuck, Sir may i cum?” You mewled loudly, Matthew held you close against him, nibbling on your ear before whispering a low, “Cum, now.” and so you did. Hard. Warm, everything is blazing as you squirm and convulse safely tucked away inside his arms.

“Good girl Y/N, shh that’s it. So cute when you cry like that.” He cooed as you came down from your high, only to feel him buck his hips up and slammed his cock deeper into you,

“Think i’m done baby? no no no. Not fair right? i’ve worked so hard, yet you’re the only one who came.” His voice sending alerts to your system as you buzz and whimpered out, “No.. not fair sir, please let me help.” You’re so tuckered out but in your delicate submissive state, his pleasure is what matters to you.

Matthew pulled his cock out of you, causing you to whine not used to the feeling of emptiness, which he chuckled and muttered “Patience, my good little slut always wait.” You nodded eagerly, just wanting to please him.

He gripped your hair in hand, tightly pulling it back a little, leaving your mouth hang open— Then unexpectedly, his gaze is on your half lidded eyes as he spit down your throat. The gesture made you widen your eyes in shock but swallowing it still which made him grin.

“Ah, of course you would like that.”

“Sir.. can you do it again please?” You definitely shocked yourself and him, his eyes widen for a second before quickly clearing his throat and spit down your throat, which you moaned lewdly and closing your eyes, whispering “Thank you sir” that earned you a slap on the ass and him bending you over the opposite end of the desk where you can see your reflection through the mirror in front of you.

��Gonna give you what you’ve been wanting now, baby.” He whispered, his gripped on your hair is tight as he aligned himself with your wet entrance, your chin pressed against the desk with him leaning down and whispered “You’re gonna take it, and watch.”

————

Matthew slip his cock into you inch by inch, letting out grunts and moans as he felt your tight warm hole engulfed his cock once more. Your eyes kept on looking to the mirror as you begin to whine, he’s filling you so good— its even deeper with this position.

He stared at your eyes at the reflection before he smiles dangerously and begin to thrust in and out of you, in a fast pace, with one hand on your hips and one hand on your hair, spontaneously gripping them. You let out little moans and squeaks as you feel yourself getting close quickly, body buzzing with oversensitivity. “Sir i- oh!—“

“Cum as many times as you want, fuck— baby go on, you deserve it.” So you came again, he can feel your walls became impossibly tight making him throw his head back and his thrusts becomes sloppier yet brutal.

“You’re perfect Y/N, such a goddess— fuck i love you.” He keeps on grunting your name as he fucks you on his desk, you both lock eyes in the mirror one last time before he came inside you, spilling every bit of him inside with strings of curses and i love you’s.

———————

“I love you.. Matthew..” Y/N croaked out, as Matthew pulled out slowly, then grabbed a cloth to wipes both of you and settling you down on his lap sideways as he cradled you. “I love you too, future Mrs. Gubler”

“We should really considering condoms.” You laughed as you hid your face on your fiancé’s neck

“Aren’t you on birth control?” He curiously asked, playing with your hair soothingly as you purred, “Yeah but.. we have sex 24/7, its possible that you know” You blushed as he chuckled then whispered on your ear,

“I wouldn’t mind anyways.”

“Matthew Gray Gubler!”

—————

Hope you enjoyed! as always, blurb reqs are open just send in ideas or feedbacks or constructive criticisms if you have any! i’m working my way down the requests so be patient. Thank you! i love you!

#mgg smut #matthew gray gubler smut #mgg fluff #spencer reid smut #insufferableblurb #criminal minds smut #spencer reid imagines

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broadstbroskis · 4 years ago

Text

the countdown | kevin hayes

a/n: @hockeynetwork ran another wonderful fic exchange this season! i had the lovely @fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan and one of the questions i asked you was for your favorite tropes. you gave me “families are super close and have a bet going on who realize they are in love with each other first.” this is...not quite that 😂 but similar and i hope you enjoy anyway 💚

8:43 pm

Olivia slams her car door shut and checks her watch, swearing as she jogs around to the passenger side to gather everything she’s brought. Besides her activity ring judging her for not meeting her goal, she’s late and she’s going to take so much shit for that.

She practically jogs to the door (or, well, as best as she can in her high heeled booties), plate of her famous chocolate chip cookies in hand, and then stops abruptly right on the front porch when the door opens before she can do it herself.

There goes her hope of just sneaking in.

It’s Jimmy. Of course, it’s Jimmy, with that classic Hayes shit-eating grin on his face as he greets her, even though this isn’t even his fucking house. “Livvy! Rolling in 45 minutes late even though you’re the closest one here.”

“This is honestly so rude of you.” She complains, even as she pulls him in for a hug. She wouldn’t have expected any less from Jimmy, who gives her just as much shit as her own older brother does and always has, ever since they were all kids growing up together in Dorchester. “This is how you treat me, after I show up here with cookies I made especially for you?”

His eyes light up, like she knew they would, even though they both know they’re not just for him. But her chocolate chip cookies are a big hit with all of them, and instead of calling her out on it, he reaches for the plate. “I’ll just take those from you now; put them somewhere safe.”

Olivia laughs. “Nuh-uh. Lemme in; it’s cold as fuck out here.”

Jimmy finally steps aside so she can follow him in the doorway, and only then does Liv hand him the plate of cookies, so that she can take off her coat, revealing the sparkly tank she’d dragged out of her closet just for the evening. “Where’s the champagne?” She pouts, as he leads her on a familiar route deeper into the house. “You came to greet me at the door and didn’t even bring me bubbly?”

“Kristin probably drank it all already.” He jokes, which is straight blasphemy, because she knows his wife set aside at least two bottles just for the two of them to share the minute she walked in the door.

“My girl would never!” Olivia says confidently, and sure enough, the second the two of them walk into the family room to join the rest of the families, his wife is holding up two flutes of champagne with a large smile on her face.

“Livvy!” Kristin cheers and Liv finds herself being pulled into the blonde for a hug and a glass of champagne being thrust into her hand before anyone in her own family can even say hello to her. “You’re here, finally.”

“Oh my god!” Olivia takes a sip of her champagne and rolls her eyes, exasperated. “Every person in this room has been more late to something than I am right now! Jack’s never showed up to Thanksgiving on time or without a hangover in his life and nobody says shit!” She deflects to her younger brother, who holds his hands up innocently.

“We’re not talking about me right now, Livvy.” The grin on Jack’s face widens, somehow. “We’re talking about you lying to all of us.”

She’s absolutely taken aback by that because she hasn’t? She’d panicked in the group chat earlier about getting stuck on a call at work, and then stuck in traffic, which set her back getting ready to come over here and meet all of them. She would have been on time. She’s always on time. “What are you talking about?” She frowns, as a tall person drops an arm around her shoulders and squeezes. “I haven’t lied to anyone.” She looks over at Nolan and pulls a face at him, and then laughs as he deadpans one back to her.

She’d been sure that her long time best friend’s roommate had hated her when they first met, but Kevin had been quick to assure her that was just how Nolan was. It hadn’t taken her long to realize that was true. Beneath Nolan’s resting bitch face that put hers to absolute shame, was an absolute sweetheart; she hated having to admit she was wrong to Kevin.

“To anyone?” Jimmy and Mike, Liv’s older brother, are looking at each other with this ridiculous look of both disbelief and mocking. “Not lying about anything?”

“You saw me literally last week?” She addresses her brother. She’d gone home for Christmas; they’d sat with all their cousins at their grandmother’s and had a great time, just like always. “What the fuck are you on?”

“Olivia!” Her mom snaps, half-heartedly, not even looking away from the conversation she’s having with Liv’s dad and Kevin’s parents.

But Mike merely grins at her. “I don’t know, Liv.” He says, as she’s lifted off the floor and twirled around. “You tell me.”

But she can’t really hear anything he says after that, too busy laughing and shoving at Kevin, trying (unsuccessfully) to get him to put her down. He does, finally, but leaves his arm around her shoulders, even when she tries to shove her shoulders against him in retaliation (a wildly unsuccessful attempt, he goes absolutely nowhere, she really just ends up bringing herself closer to him). “Here’s my girl!” Kevin cheers, shaking her enough that she almost spills what’s left in her champagne glass (and she would have killed him for wasting such a commodity). “ I told you to take off today.”

“Ugh, I wish I could have.” Except they have this huge launch in the first week of the year and they’re still putting finishing touches on, so that was absolutely not happening. It’ll be a miracle that they finish on time as it is. She’s going to pop so much champagne once this goes off.

Kevin, who’s definitely familiar with this work project that she’s been bitching about for months now, laughs; he knows she couldn’t take off earlier, even if she’d really wanted too, and he squeezes her shoulders once. “A few more days and you’re done. Forever.” She clinks her glass against his beer in a cheers. Bless. “Thank god.” He continues. “I don’t like the person you are when you’re 3am deep in emails, Livvy.”

“Lies.” She elbows him, the only time she can really get some leverage against him, when her bony elbow manages to find the spot just under his ribcage. “You love me all the time.”

“Well that’s cute.” Mike says, in that dangerous voice that Liv always finds hard to read. “Just the nicest couple of liars.” And it’s the way he says couple, that really does it for her, but it goes right over Kevin’s head, if the way he just leads her to the kitchen to put down her cookies and get a plate of food, is any indication.

-----

9:23 pm

“Okay, spill.” Kristin says, the second she manages to get Liv alone, not a terribly easy feat, as Liv’s been doing everything she can to avoid that.

“Spill what?” Kristin’s got that look in her eyes, like she’s not going to let this go...whatever this is.

“Whatever’s going on with you and Kev.”

Olivia blinks. “There’s nothing going on with me and Kev.” Except that’s maybe not exactly true. It’s not a lie- there’s definitely nothing going on between them. They’re still friends, definitely still friends. But...there’s definitely not nothing between them either.

There’s too many late nights on one of their couches, spent doing absolutely nothing but talking. Too many lingering touches that don’t lead anywhere. Too many glances across a crowded room where she feels like a magnet is pulling her there in the first place, and then can’t seem to pull herself away.

So like. There’s not nothing. But nothing’s changed; they’re still goofy Kevin and organized Liv, best friends taking on the world (in Philly, now; together again, finally).

“Bullshit.” Kristin calls her out, but Liv’s saved by the arrival of one of Kevin’s sisters, who tries to wrangle them in for a picture before they all become too messy later.

It’s an easy reminder though, of how well these people all know her. So it’s probably time to lock it down for the night.

-----

10:05 pm

It’s quiet in the kitchen, where Olivia has made herself busy cleaning up after stopping in the bathroom. She’s gathered up leftovers of anything that needs to be put away, separated into bags and containers for everyone to take home, and then started on the dishes, when suddenly she feels a finger poke her side, before an entire arm wraps around her stomach.

“Stop that.” Kevin murmurs into her ear, trying to tug her away. “They’ll still be dirty for us tomorrow.”

“It’s fine.” She fights against him. “The whole thing took me like, five minutes.”

“You’ve been gone for fifteen.” Kevin says, wrapping his other hand around her waist and lifting her away from the sink. “And that’s not the point.”

He sets her down on the other side of the counter; the sink’s not even in reach anymore. She gets her revenge by wiping her wet hands on his henley, but Kev doesn’t even blink, still staring down at her. “I was almost done!” She protests.

“We can clean the kitchen tomorrow.” Kevin says calmly. “Come hang out with us. I know you’ve got this thing about cleaning and order and shit but I swear to God, Nols and I are not going to fight you on this; you can put everything back wherever you want to put it tomorrow.”

Liv bites her lip so he won’t see her laugh, but of course he knows and a grin immediately stretches across his face. “I’m going to hold you to that.” She says. “I’m finally reorganizing your spice shelf.”

“It’s chaos and we like it that way.” Kevin grins and it’s only when she shakes her head, and the ends of her hair actually hit his face does she realize how close he is.

“It’s anxiety-inducing,” She corrects, smiling right back as Kevin brushes her hair back from her face. “And I don’t know how you two ever get any food made here.”

“Meal service.” Kevin shrugs, but his voice is almost overshadowed by the sound of a gasp behind her.

When she and Kevin both go to look though, the hallway is empty, and Liv shrugs right back at Kevin, before they both grab fresh drinks and join their families again.

-----

11:18 pm

Once Nolan eliminates her from the annual beer pong tournament (fuck him AND his bony elbows that were definitely over the line), Liv drapes herself over her mom’s shoulders and squeezes. Across from her, the Hayes’ both laugh, and her dad just rolls his eyes fondly, but Olivia knows her mom and knows she doesn’t care.

In fact, she welcomes it. Her mom squeezes her hand and she’s grinning, always happy for these moments with her children. “Tough loss, kid.”

“It’s fine.” Liv says, not at all bitter. “Nols is a cheating cheater who cheats. Kev will avenge me.” He’s already up by three cups; it’s looking pretty good.

There’s more laughter, and then her mom is squeezing her hand again. “We’re really happy for you, you know.”

Liv’s a little tipsy, so she doesn’t really question the strangeness of that statement. She kisses her mom’s cheek and hugs her again. “Love you guys too!” She says, and then goes back to watching Kevin clean up for the rest of this game.

-----

11:55 pm

With five minutes to midnight and Kristin crowned as this year’s beer pong champ, the attention turns to the countdown and a flutter of activity toward preparing their traditional midnight champagne toast.

Olivia accepts her glass from her mom and then wanders off to find her phone quickly, dead set on getting a picture of the toast for an instagram post in the morning. It’s still in the kitchen, where she’d left it when cleaning earlier, and she grabs it off the counter, ignoring most of the messages on there in favor of checking the one from Kristin (what she could possibly have to say when she’s literally across the room…).

It’s not actually a text; it’s a picture. A picture of Liv and Kevin, right after Kevin had beaten Nolan at beer pong. She’d thrown herself at him; he’d lifted her up in celebration, both of them laughing and cheering. They look happy and perfect and like something...it’s practically a boyfriend filter...except it’s two of them, her and Kevin.

Definitely not nothing.

“Whatcha looking at?” Kevin’s voice surprises her; she’d been so focused she hadn’t even heard him come up to her.

Liv’s so not the risk taker in this friendship; Kev’s the one dragging her out to new places and new things while she’s the one telling him to take a step back and think things through. And yet, even though it’s the scariest thing in the world to show him, it somehow doesn’t feel like she’s diving in headfirst at all as she tilts the screen a little for him to see. “Kristin sent me this.”

Even though he’s standing right next to her, Kevin still takes a step closer and his free hand, the one not holding his flute of champagne, slides around her waist. “Hey!” He grins, squeezing her gently. “It’s us!”

“Yeah,” She says, much more quietly. “It is.”

He’s quiet for a moment then, but doesn’t move away either. “It’s a good picture of us.”

“It is.” She repeats, agreeing.

“That’s not why you showed me this, is it?”

“No.” Liv swallows the lump in her throat nervously. “It’s not.”

“Livvy.” Kevin says gently and that’s it. That’s all it takes for her to open up.

“I’m so tired of this, Kev.” She shakes her phone, like that’s going to explain everything. “This-this in between thing. This more than friends, but not quite more. I hate it here! I hate looking at this picture and seeing what Kristin sees but knowing that what she sees is wrong. I hate the uncertainty, I hate feeling like there’s this thing but then neither of us does anything, so it just lingers.” She takes a breath, set on continuing, but Kevin jumps in before she can.

“You just hate not knowing something.” He grins.

“Kevin.” Liv snaps crankily, but before she can say anything else to him, he’s pressing her back against the counter and kissing her.

She’s vaguely aware of her champagne crashing to the ground, never more thankful for the fake plastic flutes that their moms always insist on, but Liv really can’t be bothered, even by spilled champagne, as she grips Kevin’s hips to pull herself closer and sinks into a truly amazing first kiss.

“Aw, hell yeah!” She hears from behind her, and pulls away reluctantly, noting the equally annoyed look on Kevin’s face. “I knew it, let’s go!”

It’s Jimmy, looking entirely too pleased to find his brother making out against a counter than he eats off all the time. Actually, it’s all of them- Jimmy, Kristin, Nolan, her brothers, Kevin’s sisters, their parents. All staring at them with bright grins on their faces and bickering.

“I told you-”

“We all fucking knew-” Jack shoves at Mike.

“-they’ve been together for ages.”

“Hey, back up! Just because they were making out now, doesn’t mean they’ve been together for ages; I had New Year’s in the pool!” Nolan pouts.

“I’m sorry,” Liv says, apparently sounding terrifying enough that every one of them stops talking. “There was a pool?”

Every one of them freezes, but for barely a moment, before they’re all talking over each other again and bumping into each other in their haste to back up. “Come on, we’re not even going to ask when this happened?” She hears Jack complain. “There’s $500 on the line here!”

“It’ll stay that way.” Kevin calls and Liv buries her face in his chest to hide her laugh. “Not telling you now!” A few groans echo back into the kitchen as he looks down at her to confirm her agreement. “We’re not telling them...ever, right?”

“Oh, it’s you and me to the grave.” Liv confirms, pulling him down for another kiss.

#kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes fanfic #hockey imagines #hockey fanfic #hockey fanfiction #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagines #my hockey fics

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twstlotus · 4 years ago

Note

Hi!! May I request scenario for Leona where the s/o is going back home and never coming back(+a fight before going)? I'm kinda in need of angst contents xD, of course if it's alright with you! Also I look forward to seeing your works in the future

Me: Ah, finally! The Great Seven seem to have blessed me with midterm break for a week. What’s in the inbox today?

The inbox: Angst, angst, angst, and more angst.

Me: Oh.

Content Warning: heartbreak, arguing, Leona sort of gaslighting S/O

Leona Kingscholar; “I’m never coming back.”

This was the day, you decided.

This was the day you absolutely must confront Leona about it.

You always held it all back—trying to see the best in the relationship you two built over time. Initially, it even seemed like a dream come true. You were with who you named “the love of your life”, you always recognized that Leona was no Prince Charming, that’s for sure, and you accepted him anyway. But now, it was too much for you to handle.

Leona had already fallen into a deep slumber when you slowly slid the door open to his room. He always did this. The first few times, maybe it was excusable. You saw it as him having difficulty to adjust to a new schedule with you (him being the lazy lion as is), but the third time he missed your dates? All because he wanted some sleep?

No more.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me three times…

“Leona,” You called to him in a somewhat soft yet stern voice. His ear flickered soon after. A swing from his tail started before he arose from his slumber with half-lidded eyes that quizzed into a puzzled expression upon seeing your figure. “...Why are you in that fancy getup?” His tone was bored, unamused, a slight tinge of aggression was evident in his tone, probably because you just woke him up from his precious nap.

“Leona…,” You paused. Should you really tell him this? He already said before that he isn’t going to be the perfect boyfriend you dreamt of and there were likely going to be bumpy rides on the relationship, but still…

‘No.’ A voice in your mind firmly stated, your voice.

‘I have to tell him.’

Your lips tugged to a frown and your fist began to ball. “You missed our date. Again.” The words left your tongue were confident and stern, yet there were traces of your voice wavering as well. “This is the third time, Leona. I thought we already agreed that you’d come. I was waiting for 45 minutes and you didn’t even bother showing up!” Tears began to prick your eyes as your voice grew louder, enough to knock the lion out of his daze.

He sent a hand up to his forehead as he sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his temple, a somewhat distressed expression noticeable on his face. “Yeah, yeah. I know, I’m sorry, okay? It won’t happen again…” A yawn barely escaped his lips at the end of his sentence. Honestly, at this point, you didn’t even know if he felt sorry for what he did. “I know it won’t happen again,” Another pause in your voice. You mustered up every courage you had left to say what you planned to say, and when you finally did,

“...Because I’m breaking up with you.”

The words left your lips with a wish that it would lift off the heavy weight that strained your heart. But instead, it now felt heavier than before.

Leona immediately shot his head up to your shaking figure. His eyes are as wide as plates, but quickly narrow down as his eyebrows do. “What the hell did you just say?” His voice is dark, furious, yet, even so, there’s a hint of fear in it.

“I said I’m breaking up with you.” You reaffirm.

“Hah! You’ve found someone else, haven’t you?” He begins to yell out. “Who is it? Jack?! I’ve seen that mutt around you more often than usual, you reek of his scent. Or—no, Ruggie?!” Your eyes eventually lower to an object, or the sky—anything. Anything but the man who you once truly loved. Once.

He catches hold of your disregard to his words and only turns more livid by the minute. “Oi! Don’t you dare look away when your king is talking to you, herbivore! Answer me, who is it?!”

“You don’t have anyone but yourself to blame, Leona,” you state as firmly as possible, but you avoid sounding angry or anything of the sort, “You never act responsible in the relationship! Hell, this is the third time you missed our date, and in a row!” You list off. Leona looks at you with a furious expression, teeth bared and eyes glaring—still, you hold your ground.

“You’re always arrogant and lazy, and you never even seem to want to make up for it! You complain, complain, complain—but you don’t even look like you want to fix whatever problem you have. Meanwhile, I have to take responsibility for anything you want to do, just because you’re too lazy to do it! We never even get to do anything outside of the house and I always have to bend my needs and interests just so we can do whatever you want!” So much for trying to sound calm. You huffed for air after finishing your sentence.

There was a small trace of regret in Leona’s eyes—it was a blink and you miss type of moment. Still, he hardened his gaze at you before letting out a dark laugh. It was like the one he let out when he was nearing his Overblot before.

“So that’s it? You’re leaving me? Just because of what I did? It’s not like you never messed up either,” his pride began to envelop him. His words burnt and hurt your heart like fire pricking at your skin, and he knew it, yet, even so, he still felt unable to truly own up to his actions.

“Oh, piss off! It’s not like I messed up as much as you did! Yes, I admit that I made some mistakes a few times, but at the very least I had the decency to admit it.” Tears began to quickly run down your cheek as you yelled at the man who you once loved, and he only grew more livid as the seconds pass.

What should have been a short agreement then turned into what seemed like hours of endless arguing, going back and forth on who’s fault it was and what each partner did wrong.

At this point, you couldn’t even remember what made you fall in love with him.

You raised your hands defeatedly with a long, exasperated sigh. “That’s it.” Was all you muttered before you began gathering your things that you kept in Leona’s room. “..What are you doing?” He asked, his tone still laced with aggression.

“I’m leaving.”

“What?”

“I said I’m leaving. I’m going home,” you held back from completely sobbing in front of him. Your mind was on auto-pilot at this point. You weren’t sure if this was the right decision, where would you go? Where can you stay?

But your heart knew that any place was better than the one you were in.

“And I’m NEVER coming back here.” You stated through stifled sobs before slamming the door to his room shut, thus ending your relationship with him with a heavy heart and a loud shut on his door.

“FINE. Leave then! I don’t need pesky herbivores like you on my territory, and don’t come back here again!” He yelled loudly. His voice easily being heard outside of his room, and by extension, heard by the other Savanaclaw members, too.

Despite how he reacted, Leona knew both you and him would never be the same again, and he had never been in so much utter pain in hearing those five words.

He’d never be able to hear your cheerful laughter at his jokes. Never be able to feel your calming caresses on his cheek. Never be able to feel the sweet taste of your lips ever again.

For when he lost your heart, he lost everything he loved.

#twisted wonderland #twst #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #angst #this hurt to write as a leona fan but it was actually fun to write #you guys r after his angsty ass huh. understandable i can see why #me: wouldnt it be a great idea to post at 11:38 pm #well of the lotus flowers

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regrettablewritings · 4 years ago

Text

Preferences: Guilty Pleasures

Characters: Okoye, Lucifer Morningstar, Dewey Finn, Peter B. Parker, Ahkmenrah

Okoye

Okoye is straightforward and stony upon first impressions. And, admittedly, even afterward. The only real difference is that, if one gets to know her better, they might find shock in the fact that in spite of her appearance, she Dora leader actually likes sweets. However, it’s not sweet things in general that Okoye feels guilty for enjoying: It’s Starbucks.

Starbucks is the antithesis of everything Okoye is associated with: Supremely un-Wakandan, a chain establishment, and overall just not worth the absurd cost. Not to mention superbly unhealthy when compared to the rest of a fighter’s typical diet. But yet you can bet that every time she needs to go out of the country or off-continent, there’s an invasive shout for joy at the possibility that she might be able to get her hands on a Frappucino (followed by an internal scolding).

She can’t even explain exactly why she likes it; there are plenty of good, even healthier sweet things back in Wakanda -- heck, back anywhere else!

But it’s a bit like when someone craves the cheap taste of school pizza over a legit pie cooked in a stone hearth: She just loves the sugary sweetness, the application of whipped cream to an already tooth-rottingly saccharine icy drink, the addition of chocolate. But Bast, she also hates it. But ever since T’Challa practically shoved a grande cup of caramel frappucino into her hands, she hasn’t felt entirely the same.

Against her better judgement, she’s more or less unintentionally tried 45% of the menu drink-wise. She doesn’t particularly care much for the food part of the establishment, though if she should ever find herself in one during the fall, she might indulge in a chunky slice of pumpkin bread under the conviction that it’s healthy enough for being gourd-related. Never mind that it’s just a cinnamon mixture with more sugar than actual pumpkin-derived anything.

Really, of all those mentioned on this list, Okoye is the one who probably feels the most disappointed in herself whenever she indulges in her guilty pleasure: It’s a betrayal to her patriotism, to her dignity, and to her attempts to eat healthy. But damn, if this type of betrayal doesn’t taste so addicting . . .

Lucifer Morningstar

The thing about Lucifer is that it’s actually a bit hard for him to feel any regrets over liking anything; he’s the Devil, after all, so his whole thing is about embracing the things that make you feel good. And even besides that, he’s mostly managed to skate by in his time on Earth by categorizing things as Stuff He Likes, Stuff He Tolerates, Stuff He Doesn’t Bother With, and Stuff Humans Seem to Enjoy But He Doesn’t Quite Get. It’s a tad restricted of a system but you can’t argue with results.

However, just because something is difficult doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. The Devil can, in fact, recognize absurdity in liking certain things. Hence why, to a point, he’s fallen prey to his own bizarre pleasures: The Devil has guilty pleasures, and it’s in stupid YouTube videos, Vine, and TikTok.

After he finally drank the Kool-Aid and got himself a smart phone, it was only a matter of time before Lucifer fell down the rabbit hole that is YouTube prank videos and strange uploads about nonsense and animal humor. It was also only a matter of time before he found himself stumbling into Vine compilations. The Celestial is terrifically mystified by the creative power of humans, managing to tell entire stories and peak comedy in only a span of seven seconds. But he’s also quite loathe to have realized it’s been long defunct by the time he’s discovered it.

He’s even more loathe to find himself making references in his daily life: He has actually quietly blurted out, “I sure hope it does” in response to seeing a Road Work Ahead sign, causing Chloe some confusion (and Lucifer lots of embarrassment). He has referred to a culprit as “Jared, Age 19″. Since discovering Vine, there has been at least one night wherein he and a bed mate were sitting there with barbecue sauce on his tiddies, but that was by sheer coincidence.

But eventually the Vine compilation well dried up, and the inevitable transfer over to TikTok happened. And Luci honestly doesn’t know what to make of TikTok. He would describe it as Vine’s Molly-addicted cousin based on its obsession with dancing, but the dances are so stationary that even that doesn’t seem quite right. The videos on the platform are also much more . . . bizarre. And some of them admittedly trigger a fight-or-flight response in him, to which he always chooses the third option of freezing if only so he can keep watching the train wreck unfold before his eyes.

The trouble with TikTok, he’ll admit to himself, is that it’s not as easy to find iconic content the same way he could with Vine. However, this isn’t to say that he hasn’t found anything worth watching over and over and over again . . .

(Let’s just say the “Wolf Pack Compilation” lives in his head rent-free, and he’s both too amused by it and too overwhelmed by its vibe to try and evict it.)

Dewey Finn

Dewey is . . . a special case. Given that he associates messy living and indulging in one’s pleasure a part of the rocker lifestyle, he’s generally quick to embrace whatever makes him happy. He’s very upfront about his interests and is arguably almost incapable of feeling shame. But it’s in there: Deep down. No, not in himself -- in his Spotify. Specifically, a Spotify account made on an email he never uses because it was made specifically to create this separate, uber secret playlist.

One marked “Actual Musical Bops.”

Dewey hates musicals: They’re cheesy, uninspired, gaudy, ridiculous, totally aimed at chicks with weird fantasies that he could never aspire to, and the music is just overall unimpressive. And yet, somehow, against his music elitist nature, a handful have managed to slip through the cracks. At the very least, a handful of numbers have clawed their way past his defenses and into his ear, where they now live rent-free.

In spite of his best efforts, the problems are that he’s a New Yorker, so it’s inevitable that he hears a song or two; and also that, as an instructor (to wealthy New York tweens whose families can afford frequent tripes to the Great White Way, no less), he’s definitely going to wind up hearing about some shows and their stand-out numbers: Against his will, he knows the lyrics to “My Shot”; he has cried in the secrecy of his apartment to “When I Grow Up”; in the never-necessary reason he needs to remember how many minutes there are in a year, he sings it inside his head; hell, he’s even found himself trying to figure out the electric guitar riff from “The Phantom of the Opera” during his down time.

What’s all the more embarrassing is that, given how he presents himself as a music elitist, there’s just no way he can come back from this if anyone were to know. He has to catch himself when he finds himself humming “Johanna” in the teacher’s lounge. He scowls at himself when he can’t sleep and gives in and starts playing “No One is Alone.” He wants to kick his thick ass every time he realizes he’s excited to have stumbled across a “slime tutorial” on YouTube, this one with better quality than the last. The reason he actually put a password on his phone wasn’t out of privacy like a sensible person would, but out of a need to make sure that no one ever found out that he had downloaded the entire Beetlejuice soundtrack, including jankily-recorded songs that never made it to the official cast recording for whatever reason!

And should anyone ever find out about any of this, Dewey has a plan: “Oh, I’m doing research. I’m studying these songs so I can give the kids a lesson on what not to do as actually competent musicians.”

But the lesson would never actually come. Mainly because he keeps prolonging his “research” . . .

He’s also developed a bit of a soft spot for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic due to some students gushing about it, but he would rather sooner die than ever be associated with the term “brony.”

Peter B. Parker

Peter is at a point where he’s too tired to really care about the idea of guilty pleasures. The way he sees it, there are bigger priorities at stake than worrying about someone finding out about your love of some hokey activity or food or form of entertainment.

Besides, he’s a New Yorker: There’s way weirder stuff for people to just not pay any real attention to. Hence why he thinks nothing of his bizarre eating habits. And no, this isn’t referring to his disastrous appetite: This is about his tendency to eat food with his hands. Foods that, well, he really should probably utilize eating utensils for.

To be fair, this habit has always existed in him in some form or another, especially since, as Spider-Man, he often needs to eat food on the go. But during the time he spent living the life of a depressed bachelor, it came out in full force. On the rare occasion he wasn’t eating a food that deserved to be eaten by hand, he often found himself loathing the idea of doing the dishes afterward. There would be days he’d feel only slightly less depressed; enough to make a box of Kraft Mac n Cheese in the pot, but not enough to avoid cutting out the middle man.

He’s thankful the craptastic apartment wasn’t also see-through because if it were, he’s positive his neighbors would’ve thought they were bearing witness to a man’s breakdown as he wept into a pot of macaroni and cheese, his hand full of the stuff, while wearing a Spider-Man costume. (And, to be fair, they actually would be.)

In addition to this, there were also those nights where he would be prepared to actually tuck in to a plate of spaghetti, only for some crime going on elsewhere in the city to drag him away. By the time he’d return, the plate would’ve been cold and his energy too depleted to want to even dream about cleaning more than he already had to.

The great news is that he’s thankfully done a 180, now able and willing (if begrudgingly) to clean up after himself. But bad news is that this feral man will still eat a fully-loaded baked potato like an apple. In a park. In front of women and children. He’s just too tired to care anymore. He’s aware of the guilt in this as a concept, but he’s also aware that he needs to take whatever happiness he can get out of whatever he does. And if that means eating everything by hand, then so be it!

Ahkmenrah

Funnily enough, Ahkmenrah doesn’t seem to experience much of any shame for enjoying the things most might feel the need to hide: He’s constantly curious and has missed out on a lot over the centuries, so why should he feel bad for wanting to indulge in them? Celebrity gossip is just a more fun version of the palace gossip he’d grown up hearing as a boy; reality TV is like watching a play, but with much more fights, less deaths, and more faulty romances; and sloppy meatball subs are like a feast for a man of his time!

Besides, he’s a king: Kings shouldn’t have to feel embarrassment over what the common folk might think.

And yet . . . It took some time, but eventually Ahkmenrah did experience it: Guilt in his pleasures.

He couldn’t even recall where it had all started. Maybe he was searching for more content to swallow after the most recent season of his new favorite show had ended? Whatever the case, he wound up biting off more than he could chew when he stumbled upon . . . fanfiction.

The adorable yet sad thing is that he didn’t even think anything of it at first. It wasn’t until he brought up a ship he’d invested his last few nights awake exploring on the computer: Nobody knew what the crap he was talking about, so of course he felt the need to explain it. But the more he talked, the more perplexed his friends looked. And the more he could feel his cheeks and ears burn.

Oh, he thought. Is this . . . embarrassment? Is that what this feels like? Oh, this is just foul.

Thankfully, nobody pressured him to keep talking about it, but the poor king sure as heck didn’t feel much of a desire to talk any further about it. But he needed to talk to somebody about his newly acquired “feels” as those online were calling them.

Joining fanfiction-oriented sites was the next obvious step, of course, but he’s experienced mixed feelings about it: On one hand, it’s nice to talk with people who share similar views and excitement about a fictional couple. But on the other, the digital wars that have broken out both disturb him and bring out the worst in him.

Like, of course there are bigger things to deal with than whether or not So-So is better off with Him-Ham, but if you truly think that Blah-Blah and Himhaw are a healthy relationship, then you can go do a service and bury yourself in the desert sands to provide substance to the hungry beetles with your flesh --

Suffice to say, a lot of the guilt in this pleasure seems to come from the fact that Ahk can get a little too emotionally invested if the work is really good. He tries to limit his interactions to commenting and praising certain works, and encouraging content creators. However, he’s also contemplated contributing his own pieces of fiction to the fandom . . .

#okoye #lucifer morningstar imagines #dewey finn #peter b parker imagines #ahkmenrah #okoye imagines #lucifer imagines #dewey finn imagines #ahkmenrah imagines #regrettablewritings #spiderman into the spiderverse imagines #spiderman itsv imagines #spiderman imagines #i tried posting this on my phone and it literally fucking deleted EVERYTHING #anyway @staff: the fuck is up? fix that shit because now i literally cannot post SHIT on my phone from my laptop #preference #preferences

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if-found-return-to-gusu · 4 years ago

Text

New Years with Lan Zhan

The following week leading up to New Years was… tense. But not in the way it had been before. This tension…. It was.. Well it was certainly potent.

I was just… I was AWARE of him. I’d decided to hope and hoping ment I had to re-examine how I saw him. How I saw how he saw me, rather. Reading into his actions and words with a romantic lens is…. Well… The kind of tension it creates is not exactly kid-friendly, let’s just say.

…..

I wanted to jump him, okay? Jump his bones.

Constantly.

I wanted to kiss him. To hold him. To touch him. In every place. In every way.

Ya boi was thirsty okay. (Still am but whoo-boi that was a TENSE week.)

We kinda danced around each other. I was very aware of the fact that we had kissed on Christmas under the mistletoe and that I had almost kissed him again two other times since.

Whenever we were close… the urge was so strong. Remembering the taste of his lips makes me just want to lick mine as if I can find traces of it still there. And every time I do I KNOW his eyes follow the movement.

Does that mean he wants me to? Is he thinking about it too? Or is he just tracking movement like human eyes just do?

We agreed that our first kiss was a disaster and didn’t mean anything.

Was it possible… that he feels the same way I do about that? Because it didn’t mean nothing. It meant everything.

Even if I tried to make it mean nothing. Even if I tried to convince myself it was just a mistake. Not to be repeated. Heat of the moment. Wrong. Manipulative. Bad.

And it was.

But at the same time

Oh…

Even if I never should have done it. That kiss….

When did I get to be this selfish?

But maybe…. Selfish is okay.

Because Lan Zhan returned that kiss. And maybe it wasn’t just out of pity.

I mean I’ll never know. I’ll never be ABLE to know regarding that kiss. But that doesn’t mean I can’t know for… well…. Future kisses. If he wants them even half as much as I do.

Even if it’s just a casual attraction. I can deal with that. If he wants me in ANY capacity beyond friendship…. I mean I can work with that.

Right???

---------------------

It all came to a head on New Years Eve. Or… Well I guess just New Years. We’d decided to spend the holiday together at home.

All in all there isn’t much to say about the day leading up to ringing in the new year together. We decided to order in and have something delivered so we could be lazy and stay in our sweatpants all day. (Well I stayed in his sweatpants. I have a modest selection of clothes again now but nothing is more comfortable than stealing his. ((Also on that note, I’m still really kinda sad that I lost my sexy jeans. I haven’t been able to find anything that hugs my ass quite so well as those did. Shame.)))

We spent most of the day just sitting together on the couch and watching stuff. Streaming movies and trying out some episodes of new TV shows. We ate when we were hungry and munched when we weren’t.

We even found some of the left over face masks to wear while he started our nightly routine of rubbing ointment into my hands (which by then had already almost completely healed due to his care and attention). My hands are completely healed now he still rubs in the lotion every night. It’s something neither of us seem willing to end.

And… well… okay so… somehow. Don’t ask me how. But all day long I happened to find myself more often than not sitting er… in his lap.

Okay so it was on purpose. I sat on him as a ‘joke’ but then he slid his arms around my waist to hold me there and so… Well, I just stayed.

I tried to get off at one point saying his legs were probably getting numb but he just pulled me back on and told me to stay.

So what was I supposed to do? His arms stayed around me most of the night. And when his arms weren't around me, his hands were on my hips or arms instead. Always touching me somewhere. Sometimes when I’d laugh at something on the TV his grip would tighten. Other times, when I was relaxed against him, he’d let me nuzzle his neck and breathe him in. I couldn’t help myself. In those moments he’d stroke my back, tracing patterns into my skin over my shirt.

When it started to turn towards the evening I did finally get up. He let me after I promised I’d be back in just a moment. I hopped off to the kitchen. I’d bought a store of very low-alcohol content beverages. Lan Zhan and I had briefly talked at some point about trying this - seeing if we could find alcohol content low enough that he could enjoy getting tipsy without blacking out entirely. There were just things like Mikes Hard Lemonade or wine coolers and such. Very low content stuff. I tried to pick out things I thought he’d enjoy the flavor of.

He looked confused when I returned with arms-full of different drinks, but still came up to help me take some.I reminded him of our talk of experimenting and said how I thought this was the perfect opportunity to try.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. If you’d rather not I’ll just drink these myself. But I thought it would be nice. Since you said you wanted to try to drink with me and these are very mild.”

He cut off my rambling with a hand to my cheek and a smile to my heart. He placed the bottles on the coffee table and selected something to start with. I grinned at him and opened up a bottle of my own Emperor’s Smile (always in supply gratitude of the ever-attentive Lan Zhan. Poor liquor store is gonna think he’s an alcoholic with how often he buys it. ….

Am I an alcoholic? I mean I don’t have a problem going long periods of time without drinking. I honestly just like the taste. And I don’t usually drink enough to get even a little buzzed… so like… that’s fine right???

┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah well I’ll talk to Wen Qing about that later…..))))))

I resumed my rightful place on his lap when he literally picked me up and placed me there. I laughed which made him smile and together we started to drink. He sipped at first, carefully testing out the flavor, but soon apparently decided that it wasn’t bad and drank with more confidence.

We took it slow at first, seeing how he reacted. By the end of the first bottle he was feeling it a little but only just, he said. Which was a good sign!!

We thought about doing a drinking game but I thought that might be pushing it for our first time doing this together and we decided that depending on how this went maybe we would try that next time. If there was a next time.

The ‘Game’ idea stuck though and we both suddenly remembered the Switch that SangSang had left him all that time ago. We still don’t really have many games for it but that’s okay.

Long story short

Tipsy Mario Kart is hilarious. We kept drinking through the night and both got a nice buzz going. I don’t know how to drive anyway but whatever. It helps you if you fall off the track and there are no turn signals or anything to worry about. But like okay here’s the thing.

As Lan Zhan got tipsier, he started to drive slower and MORE carefully. Like There’s this section on one of the maps where if you take a riskier jump it works as a shortcut. Like one of those high-risk/high-reward things.

But like… I stopped one time to watch him. He very carefully steered his car so that he was lined up on the ramp and tried to like back up so he’d have a runway. It took him a good 20 or 30 seconds to just get his car straight. And then he punched it.

Except there wasn’t any momentum. Because he went from dead-stopped. So he got to the top of the ramp

And just flopped over upside down on the track below. He was so frustrated!! It was adorable!

He came in dead last that time. (Though I was second to laugh because I kept flying off the edge as a result of laughing so hard while pressing the ‘go’ button. Oh my god. It really was hilarious. He was SO frustrated. I mean he’d tried SO hard!!).

And don’t even get me started on Rainbow Road. I wish I’d recorded it somehow to show you guys. Just. Damn. There was this one time that I flew off the road, yeah? And like normally the little guy carries you back on with the fishing line right?

Except I managed to fall ONTO the track below. Like going the wrong way and way further behind but like it was impressive!

Well I thought so anyway.

Still managed to lap Mr. Careful though because Lan Zhan was DETERMINED not to fall off the road after the botched ramp incident.

In the end we were so into the game that we both lost track of time completely. Fortunately sober Lan Zhan foresaw this problem which meant that at 11:45 the two of us were scared out of our skin by the sound of his phone’s alarm going off.

“Oh! Oh yeah!! The fireworks!!!” I yelped in a moment of panicked clarity. (Nevermind that 15 minutes was more than enough time for even tipsy us to get our asses up to the roof like we’d planned.)

We gathered up some blankets and made the hot chocolate we’d planned for to keep us warm and both of us tromped up the little-used ladder that led to the roof.

I’d always wanted to do this specific cliche. Sitting on a roof with the person I loved to ring in the new year together under the light of the celebratory fire-works. We were close enough to see them pretty well from there, Lan Zhan had promised. Even though he’d never done it himself.

I trusted him. As I do with all things.

We managed to get our blankets set up. We’d planned on using chairs but instead decided on just some cushions instead so that we could stay closer to each other.

“For warmth” I claimed.

I remember waiting on that roof with him, half on his lap again as our misting breath mingled with the curling steam from the hot mugs of chocolate held in our hands.

There was just enough snow around to make everything a little muffled. Quiet and calm.

Between the liquor and the hot chocolate and Lan Zhan’s body pressed so close to mine, cold wasn’t even a whisper in my mind. I could have stayed like that forever.

I keep saying that don’t I? I guess it’s not so bad to have so many forevers, huh? Just means I’m happy with him, doesn’t it? And I am. I really am. As much as I want these moments to last forever… As long as I can have a forever with him… what more in this world could I possibly ask for? That’s what I want. I want a forever with him. I don’t care how or where. Just… as long as it’s with him.

My thoughts were swimming lazily in that direction when the first of the fireworks shimmered in the distance. We were far enough away that we could hear the boom without feeling the rumbling that accompanied it. I shimmied the rest of the way onto Lan Zhan’s lap when the display started and he put both of our mostly empty mugs aside so that he could slide his arms around me.

The air shimmered. Pinks and golds and silvers and greens. Reds and blues and oranges and purples. Sometimes in patterns. Sometimes just in a spray of glittering color.

I’ve always loved fireworks. The sound and the sight and the feel of them. The way they color the world for even a moment. I was always fascinated how different they are in person than they are with even the highest quality camera. It’s just… you have to see them live. Film just doesn’t do them justice.

Kinda like Lan Zhan. Beautiful on paper but in person just.. Stunning.

The finale was timed perfectly for Midnight. “Happy New Year, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said softly in my ear, making me shiver for the first time since coming outside. And not from cold.

I turned in his lap to look at him. “Happy New Year,” I replied in a whisper. He was so close. So so close.

This time… this time we both moved. I hadn’t been cold but the press of his lips against mine almost burned anyway. The kiss… it wasn’t the passion of our first kiss, or the awkward chastity of our second. This one lingered just a moment. Just enough that we could be sure that it was reciprocated on both sides. And when we parted a moment later we still stayed together. Lan Zhan pressed his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes and smiling that sweet smile that’s just for me.

I remember laughing a little and nuzzling my nose against him, scrunching it in an attempt to be cute. It must have worked because he chuckled too.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but despite the warmth of the moment, eventually we did start to feel the chill of the midnight air. It was with great reluctance that I untangled myself from him. We gathered everything up and took each other’s hand as we made our way back inside to the warmth of the apartment.

We let go to start cleaning up a bit before bed. I knew it was late for Lan Zhan but I also know that he’d prefer going to bed with the place relatively tidy and that we’d thank ourselves in the morning.

He went off to the kitchen to at least clean up some of the dishes and I set to putting the living room to rights.

My task was the easier one so I finished pretty quickly. Unwilling to be separated from Lan Zhan any longer than I had to, though, I went to the kitchen to see if he needed some help. But then….

Well you all know I’m a little goblin, right?

He was just… his back was turned to me at the sink. And his sides were exposed. Just begging to be tickled.

And well, I wasn’t DRUNK, (at least off alcohol) but I was definitely tipsy and so I crept in like the goblin man I am, slinked up behind him and went in for the tickle. He SQUEALED and started laughing like a mad-man. All the dishes he was holding crashed into the sink and he held onto the counter for dear life. His leg seemed to give out on him for a moment as he gasped for breath between more peals of laughter. It wasn’t until the pig snorts started that he really tried to fight me. His ears were so RED as he twisted in my grip, snorting all the way like little (or not so little) laugh hiccups. Oh Oh I never thought that a pig snort could sound so wonderful. Hah. It was ridiculous.

Eventually he managed to twist around and wrap his arms around me, effectively pinning my arms to my sides so he could catch his breath. His head was resting on my shoulder as we both let our laughter die down some.

It was all a ruse!

A RUSE!!!

All of a sudden while I was pinned there completely defenseless I felt

Hands

Ass!!!!

Apparently tipsy Lan Zhan decided that copping a feel was the only reasonable path for revenge.

Except… I don’t know how he knew. Or maybe it was just luck.

I am not ticklish anywhere on my body. Not even my feet.

Except for one place.

Nie Huaisang if I find out you’re the one who told him this I will skin you alive.

My butt… I don’t know why and honestly it is a very well guarded secret except that SangSang found out by chance once. But my ass is SO ticklish.

Lan Zhan grabbed a chunk (And there is a nice chunk to grab if I do say so myself) and just…

I collapsed instantly.

And now he knows.

Forever.

That if you tickle my ass

I bray like a damn donkey.

Like I laugh THAT hard. That I can’t breath. And when I gasp for air it sounds like a fucking donkey.

Which of course got his pig snorts happening again.

Thank GOD no one was near us wondering if we were expanding the bunny cafe into a full on fucking petting zoo.

Jesus.

And

Just to make matters WORSE.

Okay so I’m a weak man.

And I was trying to squirm away from him and he was trying to keep tickling my ass

And in order to keep tickling my ass and keep me from running his arms were still around me

Which means that we were pressed very close to each other

And I was squirming to get away and laughing and

Well….

You can guess what happened.

Let’s just say we were really feelin’ each other.

⚆_⚆

And if you DON’T understand what I mean. Good for you. Keep your innocence. I will not tarnish.

SO I mean clearly he was disgusted with me and made me sleep in the guest room and avoided ever touching me again, right? Except he wasn’t and he didn’t.

It was… well it was definitely awkward but…. We didn’t let go.

I mean we didn’t do anything else either. Maybe we could blame the alcohol or the fact that it was late or the just natural reaction of rubbing up against someone else. All of which may be true.

I mean we did talk a little. It is a natural reaction right? And… well…

I could still feel that kiss from the rooftop. I’d been trying NOT to linger on it too much, deciding it was something for my more sober brain to process in the morning. But I mean… We had just kissed. Under the moonlight. On the rooftop. In some new cheesy cliche 80’s romcom moment that I’ll treasure forever.

And then

We…

Ugh…

We both decided in the end that that was something to be dealt with when we were sober and that it was either way a natural reaction that just happened sometimes and that we could talk about it later if needed.

And after we.. em… caught our breath… we did eventually finish cleaning up and went to bed. As we normally do. Which means he was holding me. (Though I did pointedly avoid hip contact just in case ( ఠ ͟ʖ ఠ). )

We did NOT actually mention it again. I don’t know for sure that he remembers it and there’s no way in fuck I’m gonna bring it up if I don’t have to. At least not right now. We’ve got… other things to sort out in our relationship first.

Like… like the kisses.

First one doesn’t count (even though it does count.) because of circumstance

Second one still doesn’t really count because peer pressure and circumstance

But third one…..

It could have been the alcohol. And well, yes. The alcohol absolutely played a part. I know it gave me courage but I don’t know how it was influencing him. So STILL iffy on that circumstance and all that. (Alcohol =/= consent guys. Legit.) but like with how we’d been acting since Christmas and just…

It’s given me a lot to think about.

And we haven’t really talked about it but we aren’t like… avoiding it either. We’re just… I think we’re both testing the water.

And I’m starting to really really… It’s more than hope now.

His birthday is like in a week. And I’ve made my choice. I wanted to wait until my situation was much more settled before I even thought about trying to move our relationship in any direction.

And Now….

I’m in a much better place. I’m emotionally much more stable. And if needed I can find a new place to stay now so I’m not so dependent on him anymore.

So I think… I think at his birthday on Saturday… Maybe after the actual shindig… when we’re home alone together….

I’m going to get him a gift just like he got me and…. And I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him everything. Tell him how I feel. I’ll confess and then… well… Whatever he decides then… well I’ll respect it.

But I’m tired of this in between. I want one or the other. I want to know. I want to take my chance. Shoot my shot. I want to throw the ball into his court.

I just… I just hope he picks it up.

Fuck. This is gonna be hard.

#lan wangji #wei wuxian #wangxian #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #Long Post #(Modern AU!)

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