#homestuck is so weird man how am i still confused after finishing it
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finally… after 7 years… i’ve finished homestuck. somehow i am still confused.
#homestuck#is lord english dead?#from what i’m gathering online he’s stuck in a black hole caused by calliope blowing up the green sun?#just gotta read the prologues now#homestuck is so weird man how am i still confused after finishing it
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Hey I don’t know if you remember me but a long time ago or maybe not so long ago it’s hard to remember.
But I was mildly freaking out because I felt like I was kin but didn’t know who, kin from homestuck yet I haven’t finished homestuck due to my availability to read being cut off during a trauma in my childhood. I was unsure of these kin/troll type therian feelings, so I dismissed them.
Well today I bought pesterquest on steam after having an irl type homestuck internet to irl friend experience. And man the feelings they just come back.. I’m not sure but I think I’m sollux or gamzee or someone else? But it’s weird because I’m trans feminine in this lifetime. Also because like kin type and therian is a spiritual thing for me (past life belief) but it conflicts with some of my Christian upbringing and I still believe in God, but my mentality with the man upstairs is kinda fucked and confused
So I am here once again, asking for your help.
How do you figure out your kin type/therian type, especially when you’re like unsure as to who you may have been in a past life. It’s hard to tell between like a “me feeling” and “oh this person was a friend and or enemy feeling.”
How does one gain memories or seen into ones past life? And would you recommend I take out the tomes that are the homestuck books so that I can see if it sparks anything (I don’t spend much time online anymore to read online)
Also what was your experience when first figuring this stuff out?
Sorry, for talking your ear off. Also I saw you have a webcomic and just wanted to say your art is amazing.
Thanks if you answer this if you don’t well thanks you seem like really cool and your blog gets a thumbs up emoji x2
hello! i do remember you, yes! thank you for your kind words about my art, and don't apologize because i love receiving long messages ::::)
i dont have any advice for getting past life memories, apart from directly interacting with your source. im actually really bad with memories which is why it takes me a really long time to "confirm" anything. it took me a very long time to figure out my kintypes, and most of that was spent basically trying kintypes on? saying "im this" for a while, then dropping it when i realized it didnt fit. theres kind of a stigma against this in 'kin communities, it's kind of the brute force way of doing things, but it worked well enough for me.
for homestuck trolls though, a solid piece of advice i can give to figure things out is to try writing with quirks! after i had eliminated most possible candidates i didnt know if i was vriska or terezi, but writing with terezis quirk felt wrong whereas writing with vriskas quirk felt like me. this may not work for everyone, but it's the best ive got.
i would NOT recommend reading the homestuck books to someone who hasnt read the webcomic. they are heavily edited and annotated, and pretty much only exist to be a collectors item for fans of the comic looking for author commentary and a sweet series to have on their shelf.
maybe you should try let's read homestuck from voxus instead! it's basically a homestuck audiobook with visuals, but honestly most of homestuck visuals dont really matter that much so you can just let it run in the background until you hit a flash. still ongoing and currently goes up to act 6 intermission 4, i havent listened to it myself but ive heard good things so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i hate to tell this to people, because i legit think it's Bad Advice™ for reading homestuck and obviously i have Opinions™ about that, but if you SPECIFICALLY want to know about the beta trolls, you might have an easier time skipping to act 5. thats the part of the story that focuses on them!
also quick thing about the gender thing: im transmasc and was transfem as vriska. gender is weird like that, dont focus too much on it if you wish to retain your sanity lol.
i wish you the best of luck in figuring yourself out, you got this!!!!!!!!
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homestuck recap
i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there
anyways here it is
also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)
also that this is long
you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance
ive been coping with humor to get me through it
neato.
have fun with what i suffered through:
why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?
like did i miss a page???
OH its the beta version of HS thats why
damn its like 5 pages and thats it
mmh
well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.
do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”
thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.
god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did
i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now
cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz
flashbacks are starting up already
yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl
that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.
OH W A IT SHIT
i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place
my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.
oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that
little did rose know where that would get her right now
oh yeah
there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.
still think shes some weird spy or secret agent
i kinda love her ngl
anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?
oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf
and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red
huh, how times change
i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again
yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?
OH that makes also much more sense
bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.
i gotcha
man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat
are you
telling me
the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?
THE EGG
THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”
of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this
man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt
damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet
okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig
man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow
the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?
we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks
oh yeah that reveal
god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh
bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog
who lowkey
is doing better than bro
who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao
dreambot = terminator. im telling you.
sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”
why is the entire game session highlighted
i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY
okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout
which is honestly cool
idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.
yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching
yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.
especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION
pls can this be the halfway point to the recap
AT LEAST
so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.
speaking of jack
man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl
OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN
and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.
also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..
she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far
oh yeah okay
but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?
anyways
exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.
noice
i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.
yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute
fuck yeah the dick head
hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them
anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”
UH WHAT
WHAT
OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO
THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!
so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.
which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.
and jade is space. witch of space.
nice
i have no idea what that means ngl
okay finally
we’re at the trolls
maybe this recap will end soon
i remember when i thought they were internet bullies
yesss
someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke
it be like that, i annoy many
then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse
imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens
ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that
nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background
i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes
but theyre trying
OH MY GOD
I GET IT
FUCK
DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??
AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS
GOD D A M N
wow
i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”
flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans
anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really
he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song
i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh
trolling strategies
anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.
i wonder why it explodes
more importantly
....
terminator time?
this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.
absolutely gold.
all except AT’s rap.
GC was the only smart one with the linear shit
anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so
that will be fun for the future
john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there
yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things
OH and the white queen was the cursive
damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk
oHHH
i fucking SEE
thats why he said DNA
to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean
fucking neat wow
man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log
so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.
derse is very pretty, ngl
and wow shit
“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just
do that, awake in both places at once
i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow
ah yes, around the time things got confusing
okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao
the more you know i guess *twinkle*
i find that a neat concept tho
like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit
yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future
no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend
fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say
i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm
and then everything else just made me sad again
i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?
we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk
fucking DAVESPRITE
damn idk how that works
will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?
“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?
okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box
bc i thought he used his knife?
im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew
alright okay..
god that was a lot
i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE
#homestuck#homestuck liveblog#hs65#hs65 end#act4#pg1674#THANK FUCK FUCKING CHRIST#THIS TOOK ME A SOLID 4 HOURS IN TOTAL TO DO#INCLUDING PROCRASTINATION THO#LIKE I DID SNIPPETS WHILE I WAS AT WORK#AND THE MAJORITY LAST NIGHT#GOD#NEVER AGAIN#anyways#i learned some new stuff but then again this isnt even worth it for you all#like i didnt even say anything witty enough for it to be at least entertaining#just 'man that was cool'#and other synonyms of that sentence#im so sorry this took so long#and was tedious to read
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Homespork Act 3: Insane Mindscrew Haymakers (Part 3)
FAILURE ARTIST: We cut to PM, WV, and AR in the far but not that far future. WV is trying to obey the letter’s direction to give the package to PM but AR keeps shooting. Yet WV and PM take cover behind a rock and WV is able to complete the task. The letter calls PM “Miss Mail Lady” so we now have a gender.
Back to Dream Jade. She flies to another golden tower and peers in on John sleeping. This bedroom is also defaced like his one in the waking world, plus there’s a creepy harlequin doll next to him. She isn’t sure if he got her present or if she even sent it, so she decides she’ll ask later.
CHEL: Dream John is fitfully asleep, but Jade intends to let him wake up on his own. Here, it’s established that Dream Jade does not know everything waking Jade does, as she decides she needs a system to remind her of things, which in the waking world she has (remember the COLORFUL REMINDERS).
The moon on which the city is now revealed to be placed is moving close to Skaia, the gargantuan sphere of cloudy blue sky mentioned by Nannasprite as the crucible of creation. Apparently it’s not safe to be outside during the “eclipse”, so Jade heads back to her tower.
FAILURE ARTIST: We cut to John alchemizing a bunch of stuff, some useful and some never to appear again. One of these things is a Cosbytop computer and that hasn’t aged well. John feels like it’s both his birthday and Christmas and though he thinks that’s impossible these pages came out a few days before Christmas. This fourth wall wink and nod comes up during another alchemizing frenzy.
CHEL: He contemplates a “1980s time-lapse montage” but instead we have to sit through him alchemising everything item by item.
GET ON WITH IT!: 12
Though he does come up with some useful stuff, including a rather snappy suit. By combining his glasses with the PDA he gets hands-free internet, and the sledgehammer, telescope, and Sassacre book together create the TELESCOPIC SASSACRUSHER, an extremely powerful weapon which unfortunately he can’t lift. Nannasprite’s ectoplasm and the gushers make healing candies, and ectoplasm, the fake arms, and the PDA solve the giant hammer problem by making REMOTE GHOST GAUNTLETS. One of the funnier items is a steam-iron-hammer he calls the WRINKLEFUCKER.
Dave, meanwhile, is STILL strifing with Bro, who apparently doesn’t notice or doesn’t care about the fact that the city is being flattened by meteors around them. Not doing a good job of showing “yes, this fight should be taken seriously”.
TIER: Neither does Dave for that matter, fucks given remains at a cool absolute zero on this roof.
GET ON WITH IT!: 13 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 6
CHEL: At least it’s captioned FINAL ROUND now. Surrounded by watching crows, Dave hurls himself at Bro, and their collision results in the snapping of Dave’s sword, the bisection of Lil Cal (hooray!) and, somehow, the splitting of the picture of the record on Dave’s T-shirt; not cutting the cloth, turning the picture of a whole record into one of a broken record, which it will remain for the rest of its time in the story. Lots of analysis has been done by fans about how this represents Bro’s abuse shattering Dave’s true inner self, but in the context, it just looks like even sillier cartoon physics than we already had, if one even notices it (in the rush of visuals it’s easy to miss the first time round). It probably doesn’t help that Bro never actually says anything (nor do either of the other living adults), so we don’t really know what his thoughts on the matter are.
ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 12
Dave goes flying, rolling and skidding across the roof, landing in a rather battered-looking heap but with no serious harm done, and Bro chucks the game discs at him and… flies off on a hoverboard which I guess he has? Yet again, not adding to a serious tone here. Are hoverboards normal in this universe? Like the sylladexes, it was never established. Dave messages John, matter-of-factly telling him “bro just kicked my ass”. It’s still unclear how literal John thinks this ass-kicking is.
BRIGHT: This is apparently a universe in which some form of combat with one’s guardian is apparently routine, so John might well be thinking of Dave’s strifes with Bro as just a more intense version of a normal practice. On the other hand, by that same token, there’s nothing at this stage to say it isn’t just a more intense version of a normal practice. In fact, both John’s and Dave’s reactions suggest this is the case.
The problem really comes later on. If Dave’s situation is going to be taken seriously, then so should everyone else’s. Right now, although there are suggestions that all is not well, the tone of the text takes none of these situations seriously. It keeps everyone on a more even footing.
CHEL: Back on the golden moon, the eclipse is happening; during same, the moon and Jade’s tower thereupon, which are chained to the planet, swing right inside Skaia, surrounding it with clouds. On the surface of the clouds, we see images of events which happened earlier, including John’s house in the Medium, Rose’s house aflame, the tree in the desert, and the meteors falling on Dave’s city. This, we gather, is from where Jade obtains her mysterious information!
Dream Jade types messages to John, while the Dreambot types them out on a keyboard in the real world so he can actually get them. We proceed to see the same conversation about the package and SBurb we saw when Jade was first introduced, but this time I think a recap of it is actually pretty useful, especially the reference to the explosion. What happens is a little hard to parse, but as far as I can make out, a cloud shows a vision of a meteor emerging from a space portal, and the meteor actually emerges from the vision, becoming a cloud in the process. Said cloud-meteor then passes into a vision of Jade’s island when the volcano was still active and strikes down as the real meteor did in that time period. Jade, in her tower, hears it; I guess this is why it’s not safe to go outside during the eclipse?
In the volcano vision, we pull into a close-up shot of the lava-filled crater beneath the volcano, and a very familiar featureless canine head starts to emerge from it. Creepy.
Jade leaves the tower to check, and finds a vision of the lava with a blossom-like lit-up spirograph emerging from it, but when she tries to look, vision-Bec blocks her view of it, as the real Bec flies back and forth in front of the Dreambot. She messages John again, saying Bec doesn’t want her to go near the meteor crash site.
In John’s dream tower, the bed is empty; Dream John is now hovering outside it, eyes firmly shut. Jade sees him and drifts toward him, while John’s eyes slowly open. (This bit fuelled a fair amount of shipping at the time.) We see again the shaped clouds and the slowly approaching silhouette of Jade, revealing this to be the time when John fell asleep earlier, and at the exact same moment, real Jade and real John awake.
Again, we have a repeated conversation, this one being the one where Jade implores John to wake up. Now we know what she meant! Again, I think recapping this is reasonable, but maybe it could have been trimmed down so we just got the important points? That should have been done with all the repeat convos, really.
TIER: Personally speaking the little blurbs of repeated conversation shown during the flash would've gotten the point across without having to completely rehash the conversations.
With Jade awake properly, we get another convo rehash (now with proper context from both sides). Jade then consults her COLORFUL REMINDERS, as the visions of past and future events visible in the clouds as she sleeps can get very confusing very fast and the things help her put everything into usable info! With is fitting because dreams are trippy and easily forgotten. Jade notes two things: that this time there wasn't that much of future being shown, and that this is the first time that her dog guardian Bec has shown up a dream.
Bec has apparently never let Jade wander into the weird temple that is such a strange landmark of her island, but with the overpowered pooch taking a nap at the feet of his master's corpse, this is a good a time as any to try and pull one over him!
As Jade zip lines towards the temple and Rose continues construction on John's house, we cut back to Dave in the aftermath of the strife.
Dave is slightly saddened by poor Cal's “unfortunate” bisection (personally I was hollering because fuck that thing Jesus). His strife kind has also been turned into a ½ bladekind, courtesy of Bro fucking up his shit blade. Fucking rude man.
BRIGHT: Fighting with half a sword never seems to hinder Dave, but it still seems a silly thing to do when Bro quite possibly knew Dave was headed into heavy combat. It’s funny at the time though!
FAILURE ARTIST: When I first read Homestuck, I was sad Bro didn’t seem to care about Lil Cal, but with later revelations...would be better if that puppet never existed.
TIER: Dave attempts to grab the beta that he worked so hard for, but wouldn't ya know it his dang inventory is all filled up. Mostly with useless crap, as Dave admits as well. After a quick setup change for his modus, Dave finally has the beta! Congrats!!
CHEL: *looks pointedly at GET ON WITH IT count*
TIER: While Dave attempts to pester her, Rose has finished building up John's house, which marks the end of how much more she can help John as his server player. There's not much else to do for her till Dave shows up. She's also nearly done with John's gift, that'll show him that Rose is the God King of, and I am quoting right now “facetious sentimental gestures”. That's a peculiar and slightly worrying sentiment to have. What an adorably wordy yet cheeky little goth.
With that, we jump back a few months into the past, when it was Rose's 13th birthday. She's opening a package from John (signed under his old handle ghostyTrickster) containing the gift of knitting stuff (yarn and knitting needles) and a very dorky yet endearing letter from the blue boy. What a goof.
Rose is then pestered by one of the trollslum inhabitants, this one by the name of grimAuxiliatrix! They type Like This, And I Think It's Very Neat. Also quite verbose this one. Like personally I kinda need to carefully read and reread their words to get what the fuck they're trying to get to. In this case, it's politely bitching about humans while weird time related fuckery gets explicitly name dropped. Mainly the weird situation that is the trolls being/not being from the future. It's as confusing as it sounds.
CHEL: I think here’s the first indication that the trolls aren’t just other humans. Meanwhile, notice that one of the names in the Trollslum is “centaursTesticle”. Lovely. That character will, as the handle suggests, be the source of a LOT of CALL CPA PLEASE points. But anyway.
GA: No We Arent From "The Future" GA: But We Are All Already In Agreement That You Dont Get It And Never Will TT: I thought you said we spoke in the future. GA: We Did GA: Your Future GA: For Me It Was Only A Couple Minutes Ago TT: I understand. TT: You exist in some temporal stratum through which you have communication access to various points of my timeline. TT: It's not that complicated.
TIER: While that confusing thing keeps happening, we jump on over to a younger Dave, whole record shirt and dumb not-Kamina anime glasses wearing. He too is opening a birthday gift, which consists of his iconic aviators and a letter as well. The letter is just as endearing as the one John sent to Rose. Might just be my bias talking concerning how much John is undoubtedly and unchallenged my favorite character overall.
CHEL: I think so too, but I’m still giving him a point for him telling Dave his “gay butt stinks”, even though he is a twelve-year-old boy - it never gets called out or presented as bad that the kids say -ism-based insults until near the end, and that part has its own problems which we’ll get to then. The rest of it’s cute though.
CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 11
I’d like to bring up another webcomic which is known for its incredibly offensive humour; R. K. Milholland’s Something Positive. Specifically, I’d like to contrast the offensive humour of it with the offensive humour of Homestuck. In S*P, the point of the offensive humour is that the characters saying or doing the offensive thing are horrible people who should not be emulated, and even they disapprove strongly of homophobic/racist insults. Here is one of the tamer examples, from 2003 (so later comics have no excuse). Please note the character saying all this is both very drunk and very frustrated by having read a lot of terrible writing at the time, and his decision to do this comes back to bite him later.
In contrast, the point of Homestuck’s offensive jokes seems to be that either offensive things are inherently funny or the writer doesn’t realise why they’re offensive.
John tells Dave he thinks he needs to get out of his brother’s shadow, showing no concern for Dave’s actual wellbeing; more evidence that either they don’t know about the strifes or don’t care. The gift John has given is the glasses worn by Ben Stiller, which John suggests could replace Dave’s current anime shades. John worries that they’re “sort of a shitty present”, which again makes me wonder about the Egberts’ financial status - we weren’t able to find an actual figure for them but those things would cost thousands, so what the hell makes him call them “shitty”? How much did Hussie think movie memorabilia cost? Name of the count aside, we’re using it for when their economic statuses are weird in general, so here we go again:
WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 8
TIER: Dave too is dealing with a trollslum inhabitant, this one by the name of adiosToreador. It's around here that the trolls typing starts to get head tilt worthy. As Dave so eloquently puts it, toreador types like a tool. I mean, lOOK AT THIS, lOOK ME IN THE EYES, aND TELL ME THIS AIN'T RIDICULOUS.
CHEL: AT opens by telling Dave he’s awful, and Dave responds with frustration at having to deal with the trolls yet again. He complains that he’s “wasting good material on you guys” and that there’s no substance to their trolling; he also mentions one of them thinking he was a girl, which I think is the original source of the fandom’s popular female-to-male transgender Dave headcanon.
FAILURE ARTIST: I think it’s just that Dave is a popular character.
CHEL: I don’t know, it started well before the fandom started getting really enthusiastic about assigning identities to everyone, from what I saw, but maybe.
TIER: My two cents concerning this matter is that it's probably a combination of the two. Dave seems to resonate quite well with a great majority of the fans, so from what I've seen they more readily project onto him.
AT: i KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE, AT: oR WILL DO, aCTUALLY, AT: iT'S THE MOST AWFUL THING, tHE WORST YOU CAN EVER DO,
CHEL: The readers immediately start wondering what this thing is, but Dave is unconcerned, and immediately accuses AT of perving on him. Here is where the CALL CPA PLEASE count really starts to ramp up, because on one hand, yes it’s hilarious to watch the tables being turned, but on the other, this coming out of a boy who literally just turned thirteen that day is… uncomfortable for a lot of adult readers, especially since we know his home has obscene material lying around all over it and as mentioned before that can really mess up a kid, even if Bro was not in fact putting him in his movies directly.
TG: and i want to know exactly when i got to clear some space in my calendar for when some fuckwit blunders out of a magical phone booth and makes a ballad-inspiring play for my throbbing beef truncheon AT: sHOULD i BE PERTURBED BY THESE ALLUSIONS, TG: no man TG: look TG: i just need to know when to be there TG: when the stars come into alignment and your flux capacitor lets you finally sate your meteoric greed for crotch-dachshund TG: i wouldnt want to miss it and cause a paradox or something TG: itd suck if the universe blew up on account of you missing your window of opportunity to help yourself to a pubescent boy's naked spam porpoise AT: uHHH, AT: oK, THIS IS SORT OF STARTING TO UPSET ME, CALL CPA PLEASE: 5
TIER: How many words does a 13 year old need for his private parts? Asking for a friend. I get that Dave is a little gremlin but holy shit y'all.
CHEL: To quote Hiveswap, “SOUNDS LIKE SETUP TO ‘RIDDLE’ OR PERHAPS ‘JOKE’.” Or maybe a really weird rewrite of “Blowin’ in the Wind” and I just realised the (in)appropriateness of that song title. Anyway, I’m giving one CPA point for each of those elaborate descriptions. AT, perturbed, announces his intention to leave, but Dave continues.
TG: we're motherfuckin entrenched in this bitch TG: you and me TG: welcome to nam TG: now grab my hand and shimmy your soggy ass off that muddy bank before charlie gets the fuckin drop AT: uHHH, wHO, AT: wHO'S CHARLIE, TG: hes the guy whos gonna read our vows TG: im feeling pretty friggin MATRIMONIAL all a sudden TG: take a look down by your foot see that little bottle TG: stomp on that shit like its on fire TG: noisy ethnic dudes are flipping the fuck out and waving us around on chairs til someone gets hurt TG: im your 300 pound matronly freight-train TG: and my gaping furnace is hungry for coal so get goddamn shoveling AT: oH MY GOD, CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 14 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 9
Hey, our first double point assignment! Two points for using the same racist joke again, as if it wasn’t offensive enough the first time. And another one for the fat joke.
FAILURE ARTIST: Lifting the newlyweds on chairs is a Jewish tradition so I guess Hussie’s antisemitism didn’t start this year.
CHEL: Isn’t stepping on a bottle a Jewish thing too? Does that count as more than one anti-Semitic joke or is it all part of the same one?
FAILURE ARTIST: Yeah, that’s also a thing. But I’d say it counts as one big joke.
CHEL: Does the Vietnam joke count as a separate one? I’m not sure what the general attitude to those is since about half of 20th-century British comedy revolves around WW2 jokes and no one minds those.
TG: thats what you see TG: a kaleidoscopic supernova of all your hopes and dreams all swishin together TG: radially effevescing arms of more little boy peckers than you can imagine TG: turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong CALL CPA PLEASE: 7
CHEL: All the counts aside, I can see what Hussie was going for and the general idea’s still amusing, culminating in one of the funniest bits in the comic when all this leads up to adiosToreador [AT] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] - I think we’ve all wanted to be Dave here. I’m fully aware that this sequence was meant to be somewhat uncomfortable, but given that Hussie later tries to tell us that Dave’s home life scarred him for real, yet he presented this as funny, it adds to the general feeling of Hussie berating the reader for laughing at the comedy. I think he was just trying to pander to the woke side of the fanbase with that, but we’ll get to it when we get there.
ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 13
FAILURE ARTIST: We go to AIMLESS RENEGADE, who has finally run out on his clip without hitting anyone. Apparently, some nitpicker on the forum (not me) pointed out the AR’s gun is magazine-fed, not clip-fed, but AR doesn’t give a shit about that.
CHEL: “A clip is not a magazine, a mag is not a clip; neither is a grip a stock, and "stock" does not mean grip.”
FAILURE ARTIST: AR examines the murals and declares the amphibian and reptilian images illegal pictography. AR arms themselves with a rocket launcher but wonders if they should befriend WV and PM - particularly PM. However, AR decides the two have committed too many crimes that make AR’s carapace steam. AR dresses as a judge (to complement WV as a mayor and PM as a mail carrier) and declares order in the court. AR wants to go down the moving platform to catch WV and PM but it isn’t operating right.
Closer to present time, Jade puts her gift to John on top of the monument. The gift disappears, just as Jade planned. Back in the future, PM looks at her drawing showing where she’s supposed to go. The drawing seems to be inaccurate until the tower is shot down. It turns out AR accidentally launched a rocket at it. AR tries again to hit the criminals but is distracted by PM’s beauty. Instead, AR shoots the mobile station. WV throws a can of Tab and PM grabs the package in a clever callback to SBaHJ’s sock ruse comic.
PM gets the package to the Appearifier and Sendifies it into Jade’s toddlerhood, back when Grandpa was alive and shooting butterflies. Inside the package is a letter from John, a too-big t-shirt with a blue ghost on it, and pumpkin seeds. So we have the root of Jade’s friendship with John and the others and her interest in gardening. That’s a very elaborate time loop.
CHEL: Get used to elaborate time loops. Anyway, the letter’s painfully adorable again. John thanks Jade for her years of friendship and for being the reason he met Rose and Dave. He gave Jade pumpkin seeds because future Jade had been upset that her pumpkins kept disappearing so he wanted to help her grow more. Unfortunately his declaration that three people is “almost like, TOO MUCH FRIENDSHIP” was cute at first glance, but given how he has no contact with anyone but them that we see, it becomes a tad creepy. Did he not expect to ever have any friends, or more than one friend? The implication that Dadbert kept him locked in his room all the time is looking more and more likely!
We cut to a cartoon sound effect, WHOP, and You bear the vicious brunt of this story transition directly in the face, “you” now being Archagent Jack Noir. The sound effect is the result of Dad Egbert punching Jack in the face. Jack pulls a switchblade, but Dad retaliates by lighting Jack’s hated jester hat on fire, throwing it to the ground, spraying shaving cream on it, and stomping on it. Jack immediately sets Dad free.
Jade is instructed by the prompt to “Play guitar to summon giant lily pads”, which she does, and it works… somehow? I’m not sure how that happens. Anyway, she uses the lily pads to hop over to the frog temple, finding in it a wall covered in tiny lime green glowing symbols.
Cut back to Dave, who has finally succeeded in installing the beta, and not a moment too soon as Rose’s room is now full of red light, soon to be aflame. Rose is calm enough to join Dave in a SBaHJ joke, and we go into the act-ending animation, [S] Enter.
Dave dramatically sips his fortunately-really-apple-juice and draws cartoons as the game loads, while Rose plays with Vodka Mutini and Jade scurries through the temple. For clarity’s sake, I’ll describe each character’s actions in a separate paragraph.
"Homestuck - [S] Enter [End of act 3]" (Watch on YouTube)
In Rose’s burning house Dave quickly deploys the necessary machinery. There’s so little safe room left to use that he has to throw Rose’s bed into the burning forest for one, put one in the observatory, and put the third on the nearby roof; fortunately Rose is able to get to them all. Dave uses the wizard statue to knock open the Cruxtruder, then drops it outside, breaking its hand off and sending the hand flying. He moves the cruxite to the lathe, where Rose produces a totem for her entry item, a bottle. Rose flings the dead Jaspers into the Kernelsprite and Dave grabs the Eldritch Princess doll to put in too, but the flying wizard statue hand knocks the entry item into the nearby waterfall. Rose leaps out over the drop, successfully catches it, and is in turn caught by a long purple tentacle....
Flaming whirlwinds approach the house; Rose swings the bottle to shatter it, and the meteor lands.
In the temple, we see an enormous flower atop another countdown device, noting four-and-a-half minutes till disaster, but Jade suddenly falls asleep again, waking up with only nineteen seconds to go. Unlike John randomly falling asleep mid-battle, this has been happening often enough to seem to be a legitimate problem with a story-based cause. Keep an eye on that.
Dave, meanwhile, is still in his room, which is now filled with crows. He seems flustered at first, but in a later shot he’s back at his computer with a crow perched on his head, seemingly fine.
Back at John’s house, Nannasprite opens up his newer copy of Sassacre’s book and starts to inscribe the very message we read earlier, so she didn’t in fact know about it during her life. Seems odd that she’d bother doing this rather than just saying it, though, especially since when she finishes, she drops the book into the chasm, where it plummets through grey clouds, emerging over a dark-blue land scattered with tiny lights and black rivers. John, covered in oil, runs up the many stairs of his remodelled house, smashing imps left and right with single blows from the WRINKLEFUCKER and directing the SASSACRUSHER with the GHOST GAUNTLETS to take on the ogres. When he reaches the top, he slams his hammer down one last time and bounces upwards to the spirograph portal, entering whatever’s on the other side. Fade to white.
Generally, a very good flash! Exciting but doesn’t sacrifice useful information for drama, and now two characters have reached their current goals but more is still going on. Lovely music too. I think the Flash animations are one of Hussie’s greater strengths here.
FAILURE ARTIST: The animation was what drew me into Homestuck and this is a particularly good one.
CHEL: A couple of static pages wrap up the Act; we pan out from John’s house to see it and the pinnacle it’s perched on are now looming above the same dark-blue land covered with thick clouds that the book fell onto, which we now see is in fact an entire very small planet. Curtains close.
So that’s the end of Act 3! What does everyone think?
FAILURE ARTIST: It was fun seeing Jade and the Exiles but sad thinking about how underutilized they ended up. Especially poor AR.
BRIGHT: This is where the elaborate time loops really started to kick in, and I’ve gotta say, I’m not a fan. I recognise that they’re a key feature of Homestuck, but I found some of them too confusing on my first read through. (Though they do make more sense on subsequent reads.)
I think on the whole this Act is quite well paced. I really loved the bits with Jade, and a lot of nifty background info gets introduced without being infodumped.
TIER: I wasn't even aware that webcomics on the internet were a thing at this point, but I do believe that it's around here that Homestuck's popularity was starting to pick up, no? This chapter went a lot deeper into the strangeness of the game to!
FAILURE ARTIST:
Homestuck was popular but I don’t think it became a phenomenon until Act 5 when the trolls were fully introduced. Lots of people even skipped Acts 1-4 and the Intermission to get to them. I think a lot of the pre-Act 5 fans were my age (20s) while after that many were teens or tweens. Admittedly, I didn’t do much in the fandom except check the SA thread until Act 5 came around.
CHEL: I don’t think I got into it until Act 6 - I remember the first time I got further than a few pages in I gave up when the Alpha kids got introduced because it was way too complicated.
As for my thoughts on the act, well… Before, I was able to more or less chalk up the racist/sexist/fatphobic/homophobic remarks as being from the characters’ mouths (they are, after all, twelve to thirteen years old) and not the author’s, but they don’t really get called out by the narrative and Hussie has sufficiently drained my goodwill that I have to complain, and I suspect after recent events that it actually was him speaking there, if you get my meaning. Most of the dialogue is still as sweet and funny as I remember it being but those bits really taint it. Hypothetical rewrite would definitely remove those.
I’m in two minds about keeping Dave’s hurricane of euphemisms to AT for said hypothetical rewrite; on one hand, considering his home situation, it’s worrying, but on the other the whole point of the joke is to make AT uncomfortable and it’s hard to do that without making comments that would also make the reader uncomfortable. Maybe if Dave’s home life was adjusted a bit the reader would be more easily able to assume he just picked them up from Urban Dictionary.
Speaking of Dave, his storyline here is where we really start to see a thing which is a recurring problem with the comic. Namely, reliance on theme and symbolism over what is actually happening. If Hussie was indeed trying from the beginning to portray Dave’s situation as serious abuse, then he shouldn’t have chosen to represent said abuse with ridiculous cartoon physics while literally portraying Dave as unharmed onscreen. Dave’s behaviour does hint at some issues, but they’re easy to pass off as related to other things, and swords so sharp they cause printed pictures to change are not most readers’ first assumption for the cause.
Other than those, though, I think we’re still mostly fine; none of the problems are problems with the underlying structure of the story, so it wouldn’t require a huge retooling. That state of affairs will continue on for another couple of acts, but when it fails, it fails.
COUNTS ALL THE LUCK: 0 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 13 CALL CPA PLEASE: 7 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 14 GET ON WITH IT!: 13 GORE GALORE: 0 HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 6 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 0 RELATIONSHIP GOALS?: 1 SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER: 0 SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS: 0 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 2 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 9 TOTAL: 79
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I like that old time rock and roll
AS I PROMISED, IT’S TIME FOR RUNNING COMMENTARY WHILE I PLAY THROUGH KH3
It’s under the cut for anyone who wants to avoid spoilers!!
BUT YES OH MY GOODNESS, IT’S HERE NOW
OKAY EVERYONE
AFTER 13 YEARS OF WAITING
THE TIME IS HERE
THE TIME IS NOW
LET’S
B E G I N
Really, autosave? Okay then!
IMMEDIATE CUTSCENE
The whole series as chess match between Xehanort and Eraqus, this is so Homestuck
THIS VERSION OF DEARLY BELOVED. GUHH. MY HEART
UGH SOMETHING IS SQUEEZING MY CHEST
What are these little loading screen dooblydoos?
WOAH what is this town, I want to live here
Young Eraqus babe!!
Xehanort blames the Furry Squad
THE OPENING
WELL NOW I’M JUST THOROUGHLY FULL OF FEELINGS FOREVER
Also where do I learn to storyboard something like that
Well ain’t this just familiar!
Sora, THIS WAS YOOOUR LIFE!
I desire TRINITY FRIENDSHIPS
And hmmm I usually like to just attack a bunch, so we’ll go path of the warrior
He’s on the salt flats all of a sudden!
Ahh good ol Darkside, can’t go along without you, can we
OMG HJO sounds so older
Okay this scene was earlier in 2.8
TIME TO START FROM LEVEL 1 AGAIN
Also this version of this song is so pretty nnngh
THE GOOD BOYS
And there’s that line again!
2.9 YOU DONE PLAYED ME FOR A SUCKER
Hades it never works to use the FF sadboys
HERCULEAN EXPOSITION
Sora’s heart has bad aim as usual
NNGH I JUST LOVE THESE THREE
He can just run up walls now, it’s fine!
Aw man I was kinda hoping for field chatter, do we not have any of that?
Dat title crawl!!
I love Sora just casually sassing the god of the dead
We’re blasting off agaaaaain
HI AGAIN MALEFICENT AND PETE
I love how everyone is just like “oh great it’s you again”
Oh Maleficent you’re too smart to fall for that
YES CORRECT NAME ORDER
Hey I remember these guys from when Aqua fought them!
OH GOSH you can set the poor boy on fire!!
Aw yay no longer Junior Heroes!
I MUST GO FAST AND RUNNING TOO SLOW
Aw we didn’t get to do the actual saving people part
“He’s inconsequential” Oh that’s gonna come back and bite you, Maleficent
Aww I found some food ingredients! Probably for Remy later!
Man could really go for some blizzard spells about now
Lady how did you even get up there??
Here have you been standing there Atlas-ing the whole time??
Ahaa so that’s how we do forms around here!
OH HIIIIII XIGBAR
Is his hair getting more silver or am I imagining it
Good question there, Sora
Xigbar: Well, I’m here to be cryptic! And I’m done now! BYYYYEEE
Oh no them big sad eyes
Oh woah that’s a big fella
That we took out mostly via pirate ship, YEEEUH
I FOUND A HIDDEN MICKEY but I have no cell phone yet!
THE SPIKY FRIENDS ARE BACK
Okay that was a pretty heckin cool finisher
You know I was kinda worried about the textures in this earlier, but I gotta say in motion everything looks real great
Oh man they know how to make these battles satisfying
I BLEW UP A ROCK TITAN WITH A SPARKLY TRAIN
Oh hey check it out guys, we’ve arrived at heaven
Oh dang they did a nice job with the area here
THESE HEARTLESS SO COOL BUT ALSO TERRIFYING
HECK YES GOT SHOTLOCKS
WE got all the good candy now!!
Holy crap air stepping is uh! Nutty!
Oh hey there, all the remaining Titans
Wow okay first death because I had no clue what to do in that situation
Uuuugh okay I got FARTHER that time and I even got Antiform! But I’m still a bit confused as to how to get past this part, esp with no way to heal
THERE we go, got it on the third try!
And finished it off with a shotlock, niceeee
SASSED AT BY THE TRES CORNY BOYS
Sora: I’ll find my strength through the old-fashioned way: LEVELING UP
Holy cow the extra Keyblade stuff looks like it’ll actually be extra tricky in terms of technique
Dig faster, Pete! IT’S UNDER A BIG DOUBLEYOU
LMAO they just find Pandora’s Box and are like NEVER MIND THAT’S NOT THE SCARY BOX WE NEED
M E A N W H I L E
The good darkness boys!!
HE’S DONE SO MUCH GROWING
Back at this good ol’ darkness beach
He’s gonna sniff her out like a bloodhound!
PLAYING AS RIKU RIGHT THE HECK NOW
Oh he is a lot tougher, and good thing because it’s another demon wave
Well that was weird
WHAT it seriously got broken by a demon wave??
GOOD QUESTION RIKU
THE OTHER M E
Dang I love these title crawls and new remixes
Let’s Just Tease Sora Relentlessly: The Game
Ohhh man Aqua’s theme
YES LET’S FINALLY SEE KAIRI AND LEA HERE
*bangs fist on table* GIVE. LEA. NEW. CLOTHES
And yay Sora gets his new clothes!
HI THERE JIMINY
Awww it’s got the Dream Eater symbol on it!
New plaid outfit!!
Ohh I’m excited to see where we actually go next
HIS CELL PHONE RING IS HIS THEME
Sora: WHAT IS CELL PHONE???
HI IENZO
Ienzo: Come on Aeleus, just get over your horrific betrayal and murders like I did!!
Ienzo: We’ve discovered a Heart Hotel in you Sora; turns out it’s been there for awhile
Chip and Dale: Please help Sora he’s terrible with technology
OH NOW THERE’S THE TITLE HAHAHA FUUUUCK YOOOU
Holy cow the gummi ship seems way harder to control now is it just me??
Okay whelp, makes sense Twilight Town is next!
“Hurting is part of caring” THAT MUST BE WHY I’M HURTIN RIGHT NOW
HOLY HOLY SHIT THAT HAS SO MUCH HP—oh we don’t have to fight the whole thing THANK GOODNESS
ALSO CURE THANK GOODNESS
“This is underprecedented!”
HAYNER YOU GIANT DOOF
Everyone here to find the Roxases!
Oh nooo photo cuties
WE FOUND THE HIDDEN MICKEYS
OKAY I actually really need food in order to live so I need to take a quick lunch break but
THIS WILL CONTINUE ON ALMOST IMMEDIATELY
AAAAAA
#kh3 spoilers#kingdom hearts spoilers#lynx plays kh3#EVERYTHING IS SO PRETTY AND EASY TO GET LOST IN
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After the break, the remainder of this post will be Andrew Hussie’s newspost from 11/08/14. In it, he goes pretty in-depth about the symbolism and intent of Homestuck’s GAME OVER flash. I wanted to share this because it’s one of the most concise examples I can think of that stresses why I still think he’s goddamn lovely. It also contains his own rather clear declaration that he prefers Death Of The Author over Word Of God (”Now, since they can no longer depend on answers which I supply between horse jokes and snappy retorts, they are lost in the woods to fend for themselves against the wolves of dubious fanalysis.“), a sentiment which echoes darkly through the fandom these days. You could argue he pretty much spends most of the newspost trying to explain how to read the ending to come. And plus I can say this is a #ThrowbackFrihorse thing, even though it’s nowhere near Friday.
Spoilers ahead, those of you who have not yet finished reading Homestuck.
Andrew: There comes a time in every young Homestuck's life when they must face the fact that a notable comic author has swindled them into getting on a bus labeled "cool updates", only to swerve said bus off the highway and into a precipitous gulch of unmitigated sadstuck. But the old wives tale says that sadstuck was just a thing that happened in our fanfics, the bus children wailed. That's what they said about the tricksters too, a veteran child in the back replied. They said the tricksters would never see the light of canon, but where are the doubters now? Where are they now. Propping up six feet of dirt is where. The veteran child is weirding everybody out, so they stop looking at him, and turn to the driver. But the driver is now a spooky skeleton and the kids lose their shit. The skeleton head does a creepy 180, and speaks his scary curse. Heed me bus youths, for I am the ghost of future sadstuck. I have traveled back in time and am on a bus for some reason I guess, to punish you for your maudlin fics. For every time you murmured sadstuck while having a feeling, for every fic you pastebinned by candlelight, my curse has grown stronger, and my legend, dumber. Then the skeleton ran out of stuff to say, and looking a little embarrassed, turned around again to keep driving. Then he screamed once he remembered the bus was falling. Thanks for listening to my short story. We like to have a good time here at MS Paint Adventures, The Website. The gigaplay is off to a rocky start of unhewn feels. If your kerchief has become too soggy with tears from emotion, skeleton terror, or just plain admiration for my skill as a short story writer (can't blame you there), and you wish to lighten the mood, I recommend moseying over to Paradox Space, which is currently running a 24 page comic I have written about Crowbar. I am alert to the desires of readers every single day, and the one thing I hear them clamor for above all else, is more stories about CROWBAR. We want more content about Crowbar, RIGHT NOW, they say, and make that content consist of 24 beautifully illustrated comic pages, MINIMUM. I just give the people what they want. Fortunately, Homestuck's Premier Felt Fan #1 Jones was available to do a spectacular job of illustrating this comic. My rambling noir-style monologues have never before overlapped such lovely artwork. GOD TIER TALK! I don't answer Q's about Homestuck much anymore. It was a practice which I think used to be some people's lifeline for decoding the enigmatic runes of this story. Now, since they can no longer depend on answers which I supply between horse jokes and snappy retorts, they are lost in the woods to fend for themselves against the wolves of dubious fanalysis. Pulling the ripcord on the Homestuck machine again, combined with recent story events, makes me think something FAQQY may be in order. The thing is, when you make a big story, and allude to rules for a complicated system dictating mortality, people tend to REALLY, REALLY want to understand how it works. Speculation naturally fills the vacuum in lieu of concrete data. Theories are crafted. Headcanons, congealed. Then, when additional data is presented (DEAD KIDS), which happen to chafe with fanon constructs, feelings run ragged, and Bullshit is called. Then Bullshit shows up, and says, you rang? And the fanonistas say, yes Bullshit. Look at this mess. LOOK at it. This in NO WAY jives with my views on what constitutes heroism and justice. Bullshit nods sagely while lighting its pipe. Earlier in HS when god tier folk were more scarce, the story was more cagey about these verdicts. The Vriska ruling was presented as a close call, which maybe could have gone either way. Then Slick smacked the clock to Just before it could settle, leaving the true verdict ambiguous, and the 'moral debate' intact, so to speak. But now that there are a lot of god tiers running around, with the stakes raised and the body count piling up, the game (or, story) is starting to be more liberal with its rulings. As in, more likely to come down hard on Just, Heroic, or Neither verdicts without intervention or obfuscation, helping us better understand the boundaries of heroic and just action through example. Not necessarily by moral definitions, but as dictated by the rules of a game. So that turns the story guy (sometimes known as an "author") into something like a ref at a basketball game. He blows the whistle when he sees the basketball guy (the "baller") take a half step without bouncing the ball. The home team crowd does not detect the subtle violation and goes boooooo! Those homers can boo all they want, but you know, the guy is really just some bozo with a whistle. The rules are the rules! There's reason to think there is a nuanced scale ranging from Heroic to Just inside the clock. There may be many shades of justice and heroism, some forms just barely qualifying to seal one's fate. But there's nothing nuanced about Alive vs. Dead. The result of a coin flip is absolute, even though there may be many subtle factors contributing to which side it lands on. Such as whether the coin is pure of heart, and whether the table it lands on has ever killed a man. You get a sense for the nuance of the judgment when it comes to these "close calls", like with Vriska, or more recently, with Jade. In her case, she was subject to mind control when she racked up her misdeeds, which ordinarily would probably exempt her. But it wasn't ordinary mind control. More like flipping an "evil switch", removing her ethical filter, thereby letting he personality come through, and giving her license to act on impulses which she'd ordinarily suppress. So this gives the clock something to work with. Still, her behavior is compromised, so it's by no means a slam dunk. (BASKET BALL! that is still the metaphor.) So it's very close, and perhaps the clock even spares her... except for Aranea, whose luck lets close calls break in her favor, and nudges that needle one hair to the Just side. Very unlikely that happens if it's not close already though. Jane's situation is basically the same, and so is her verdict. How about Jake? He's the only player who's had two rulings. The first time, he was blustering Ronald Reagan quotes at the top of his lungs when Jane forked him, which I think we may agree safely disqualifies him from heroism (though the Republican party may disagree). The second time was ruled Heroic, when he took a realmaginary ninja sword through the chest for a friend. This corresponds pretty closely with most people's definition of heroic, so I doubt anyone would consider this one controversial either. Dave? Probably not much to debate here either. Fighting while attempting to save a dead friend, to bring her back to Jane for resurrection. There's a moral element here, tied to common ideas of heroism, so there's not much in dispute. When factors stray somewhat from moral notions of heroism, that's when there is more fuel for debate. So what about Rose? Wasn't John killed by Jack under similar circumstances to how Rose died? So why did he survive, and Rose didn't? The circumstances were very similar, on the surface. But I would suggest that the similarity of the two situations, both leading to different outcomes, helps clarify the rules in play, not confuse them. The reason for this? SCIENCE. If you were a scientist in this fictional world, trying to test this fictional construct, these are the exact kinds of situations you would seek out to prove or disprove whatever hypothesis you had. Situations that are very similar, with most factors isolated, and varying only in minor and controlled ways. That's how you would start to understand where the line is between heroic and non-heroic conduct. So what varies between the situations? What line does Rose cross which John doesn't? It becomes pretty obvious if you break the two scenes down. John was standing there, poised for battle with Jack, for all of two seconds before Jack auto-stabbed him from behind. Not even to speak of the underhanded tactic by the villain, I think what's more important is John didn't even get a chance to move. Or specifically, to prove through action that he was prepared to do battle with a foe. In fact, hindsight may tell us he wasn't. He hadn't been through much then. But years later, when he reenacted that scene with Jack through a dream bubble, he was ready that time. He had years to think about that moment, to reflect on the damage caused by Jack, and what he might have done differently if he'd been more prepared, and if the battle wasn't cut short. But during the first encounter, there was no time for heroic intent to translate into action. Compare with Rose's situation. Her feelings are unambiguous. Her mind is made up, and committed to action in the form of forward motion. Sorry Rose, you took a few too many steps through the paint on your drive to the hoop. Gotta blow the whistle! The two similar situations illustrate where one of the lines are for heroism (as a game rule, not moralistically), and in this case, that line is action. It would seem it's not good enough just to have heroic intentions or bold feelings. It doesn't cut it to strike a pose and look cool for two seconds. The intent should be expressed through commitment to an action. The action is what proves the intent. For all we know, John wasn't ready to back up his posture. For all we know, he was terrified! Rose wasn't though. Her action proved it. Why does Rose lashing out in vengeance count as heroic? If you wanted my personal opinion on heroism, I would say a vengeful act is not heroic by itself. We all have our ideas on what heroism means. But I think this is the wrong question to ask. The concern here is less about the moral definition of a heroic act, and more about how heroism is defined in terms of a series of rules which a game system can enforce. Based on some evidence we have, and some things Doc once said about god tier immortality, it's pretty safe to make at least one generalization about heroism as a game construct. The game/story regards your behavior as Heroic if you make some effort to defeat or kill someone who is villainous (or in other words, someone worthy of a Just death). The state of the hero's mind is just an additional consideration, such as whether they happen to be motivated by anger or vengeance. But let's imagine for a moment that a vengeful act is automatically unworthy of heroism, even if directed against a great evil. Wouldn't this be a MAJOR loophole for god tiers to avoid dying heroic deaths? It would mean to qualify as a hero, you couldn't feel anger toward a villain who has almost certainly done something to provoke anger. If a hero ever experienced loss at the hands of a villain, their natural emotional state would exempt them from the heroic consequence of the actions resulting from that anger. They would be completely invulnerable to a villain, so long as they maintained a grudge! The thing with villains is, they tend to have a way of inflicting loss on others. If being wronged precluded heroic behavior, villains would suddenly discover heroes to be incredibly rare commodities. There's a lot to think about here. It's a combination of how you want to morally define heroism and justice, and how to pragmatically construct enforceable rules to that effect. The latter is something that can get very technical, and boil down to hairline actions such as whether one exhibits clear enough forward motion or such, roughly the way sports are officiated. There's no way I'll ever come up with a full list of rules, or even get much deeper into the rules than I have here. But I believe this is a rational outline for the way the subject may be examined, if you wish to do so!!!
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