#homegood

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

[awearywritersworld]

mdni

thinking about how when toji first meets you, he quickly decides he just has to have you. you're so timid and sweet— just his type.

he has to give you credit though, because you make it hard work for him, but he's relentless perseverant and eventually gets you into his bed.

and he's surprised to find that you're a completely different person between the sheets.

you're grabbing him by the face roughly and spitting into his mouth while you fuck yourself down onto his cock.

you're telling him he's pathetic, that he's not even a good fuck (the way your pussy clenches around him tells him you're lying).

and he's so confused because while this has never really been his thing, he's so fucking hard it hurts.

"wanna smack your pretty face, that okay?"

you ask so sweetly that he can't help but nod before he even has a chance to consider what he's agreeing to.

when your palm meets his cheek and leaves his skin tinted pink, he's so embarrassed that his hips buck up and he comes much sooner than he'd have liked.

"aw. you liked it that much, baby?" you coo at him. "maybe i'll keep you around after all. how's that sound, hm?"

[shiftythrifting]

idk if this counts but there was an entire ski lift car in my local homegoods (and it was paid for???)

what the fuck

[owlbloop]

I am so tired of complicated housewares. I don't want a mixer that changes speeds based on beater type, an adjustable bed with 14 massage types, a microwave with programmable settings, everything in my house to have a digital interface, smart kettles..

All I want is simple durable stuff to get the job done. Press a button and get boiling water, pour the water through a filter, turn the dial to the number of minutes you want your bread to toast. Can the washing machine do delicates, cold, bedding, and normal? Great. Can the rice cooker cook the rice? Great. Does the heated blanket heat? Perfect. Does the showerhead have even water pressure? All i need

Why is it so hard to find basic good quality appliances? I don't want to do more math

[akindredskillet]

sillies… 🍓

[challahbeloved]

cat on a chanukah cat blanket

[victusinveritas]

For Sale: Disco horse, never rode.

[scodeeyodee]

Deco Marshalls, HomeGoods & T.J. Maxx CC

HomeGoods

Marshalls

T.J. Maxx

Download: Patreon

[laughingsquid]

Couple Pretends to Be Inquisitive Shoppers Looking For the Most Outrageous Items at HomeGoods

[peterfields]

[cozylittleartblog]

Hello! 🦠 anon here again... I'm not sure if my ask wast sent so im gonna ask again,

What are your headcanons on swatch? Can you tell more of your concept of them? Like how do you view him? I would really appreciate it even it's like small fun facts! thanks a lot :)

you're fine i didn't have art to post so i didn't log in for a few days. uhhhhhh SwatchThoughts(tm):

they're the head butler ofc, but they're also queen's right-hand-man (gender neutral), her #1 bestie. they know everything about her, even about lancer before the events of ch2. they will literally do anything she asks and anything that will entertain her. it's tiring and they do complain sometimes but they enjoy their work, they know what a kind person she really is and that she's generally a good ruler, so they like to make her happy :)

weirdly competitive. nobody beats them in queen's monthly fruit-smashing competition and if you somehow do, they're a good sport but You Will Not Win Next Month. You Won't.

workaholic. oh god they wear so many hats in the mansion and they're so tired all the time, it's a miracle they get everything done

the color cafe is a regular butler cafe up front and a host club in the back. a handful of the birds, including swatch, can be paid (at quite high rates, swatch especially) to join you for drinks or sweets, flirt with you, cuddle - p much have a sweet and lightly romantic time. you would not believe how much money spamton dumped into the host club back in the day. their undisputed #1 customer even 20 years later

i generally view them as very asexual (demi specifically. + nonbinary) but they still love their host work! it's fun, they like making people happy and playing at being a romantic. and the sweets. they like the sweets just as much 🍰

damn good chef and an even better baker

very polite but short tempered 😔 they're quick to rough up people who don't follow the rules or who just personally annoy them/cause chaos, and they always win

they are the tallest swatchling, at 9 feet tall. Beast. good for carrying queen on their broad shoulders though!

their feathers, which are all slightly curly, have a slight iridescence to them that tint, along with accents on their outfit, in accordance to their mood or the paint they've been drinking . the default is pink

dressed to the nines 24/7. even on their time off.

they adore their birds. they spawned each and every single one of them (the ones in their own flock that work for queen, anyway), they know all their names even when everyone's the same color and they remember what's going on in their lives. which is impressive when there's at least a couple hundred of them ;;;

their favorite flavor of paint is dusty lilac

their favorite normal flavor is strawberry

as an art program they not only create things for lightners but also for queen ! they design a lot of things for her with her input, and with as quickly as they can draw things directly into the dark world they're always working on things for her, while dressing up their cafe for themed events in-between.

the underside of their tail is a swatchbook

they love being pet please pet them please please please p

[stars-on-my-bedroom-ceiling]

actually sometimes your sunshine mutual needs to lament the fact that nobody is in love with them in a very sad way and that's okay 👍

[corvidsofthedeep]

from the deep #24012: halloween decoration of a black crow standing on an orb

[kaijutegu]

I was dissociating in a HomeGoods earlier and the only thing that could snap me out of it was him... Thomouse Jefferson...

[thegrandteapot]

[kirbyhobbed]

she always has to lounge on the most luxurious blankets and pillows we own without fail and she does it because she knows shes a queen