#bc i wrote this in a homegoods parking lot

[awearywritersworld]

mdni

thinking about how when toji first meets you, he quickly decides he just has to have you. you're so timid and sweet— just his type.

he has to give you credit though, because you make it hard work for him, but he's relentless perseverant and eventually gets you into his bed.

and he's surprised to find that you're a completely different person between the sheets.

you're grabbing him by the face roughly and spitting into his mouth while you fuck yourself down onto his cock.

you're telling him he's pathetic, that he's not even a good fuck (the way your pussy clenches around him tells him you're lying).

and he's so confused because while this has never really been his thing, he's so fucking hard it hurts.

"wanna smack your pretty face, that okay?"

you ask so sweetly that he can't help but nod before he even has a chance to consider what he's agreeing to.

when your palm meets his cheek and leaves his skin tinted pink, he's so embarrassed that his hips buck up and he comes much sooner than he'd have liked.

"aw. you liked it that much, baby?" you coo at him. "maybe i'll keep you around after all. how's that sound, hm?"

[yersina]

Tbh I wanna ask the whole thing but to stick to the realm of reasonability may I ask 7, 10, 14, 23, and 29? And anything else you might want to answer if there's any. 🦭 [decompresses from the lack of pressure]

[weird questions for writers]

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Ohhh what an interesting question! I think what I love most abt writing—why I still write even if it only results in unfinished wips���is… hm how to put this… an execution of an idea? Putting my own spin on a concept? Bringing smth to life from my mind and onto a page? Like I just love thinking about things, and writing gives me a way to share that w other ppl or put it into words, and that’s what’s best about it!

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

LOL uh the first definition that comes to mind for a piece of writing ‘haunting’ me is in the ‘god why did I write this’ sense, in which case I’d probably say my fanfic from my hetalia days……. A full ten years ago at this point…… But I’m also an advocate for not being ashamed of your writing no matter how old or cringy it is bc we all had to start somewhere right? And it still brought me joy at one point even if it doesn’t anymore, so I wouldn’t exactly say that it really does haunt me per se haha

The other sense of ‘haunting’ is probably ‘I think abt it a lot’ in which case—my wips haunt me. OTL

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I do! Not as much (read: at all) anymore bc my friends and I have all diverged in terms of preferences and also physical location, but in high school, sometimes I’d even give my kindle acct in order to share ebooks haha.

But I’ve also always been a library person, and my physical collection is exceedingly small. I also don’t tend to reread anything? So I only buy books if there’s a reason I’d want to display it and/or come back to it. And it’s hard to lend books if you don’t own them haha. I would lend them if I had any though!

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

So. Most often I’m on my bed (full size, cheap, IKEA) and on top of my blankets (cheap, Amazon). I do most of my work in bed and lying down lol and also on my phone bc if I waited until I had my computer I would get nothing done. It’s probably either late at night or very early in the morning (bc I am unfortunately both a night owl and an early bird—no sleep for me!), so the light is rather dim. I have several larger stuffed animals w me on my bed (one is ice bear from CN, one’s a weighted dragon plushie, and one’s a really loooong shiba-dog-thing that’s probably close to my height) that I can prop my head up on or squash beneath me, depending on my mood. I also have an extra pillow to put against the wall for if I do decide to do anything while sitting up (currently cuddling it as I write this). A lot of what I own is a shade of blue or green. There’s a string of white Christmas lights around the wall next to my bed bc I can’t stand the brightness of the overhead light. Currently there’s a half-finished quilt rolled up beside me.

Really tho I write anywhere inspiration strikes me. Once I wrote a decent chunk while sitting in my car in the parking lot of a homegoods lol

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

Hm… my inspiration probably comes most often from other people! I had a ton of fun with all the sctir prompts I got a while back :) A lot of my favorite ideas that I’ve executed comes from putting a spin on an existing trope or concept, or from seeing smth around tumblr or twitter and wanting to write my own version.

My inspiration well runs dry very often, actually. I’m a huge binge-writer—most of what you see from me is stuff that I wrote within a couple days, which is why most of my fics tend to be short. I’m definitely not one of those ‘write a little bit every day!!’ kind of people—that would never work for me, and kinda drains my soul. Trust me I’ve tried lol (case in point: I managed to do an entire nanowrimo a couple years ago (the whole 50k!) and never touched or looked at that fic ever again. Was a fantastic exercise, but just not the way I work). Usually if I have an active wip, I do try to go back to it every couple days, just to make sure I don’t forget about it entirely haha. If I’m not actively working on an idea, I try not to let it bother me too much; the waiting is as much a part of my writing process as the actual writing. I’m all for making it easier for yourself—fanfic writing is a hobby, not a job, and I’m here for my own enjoyment more than anything else. I want to lean into it most when I’m happiest, yknow? :)

Bonus question for fun: 11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Yes absolutely!!! This isn’t to say that you should ruthlessly get rid of what you love most in your writing, but definitely don’t be too attached to every single word you write. The writing advice that I’ve found most helpful so far in my writing journey is: if you’re stuck in your writing, the problem isn’t with the current scene or paragraph, it’s what happened before. I’ve also had an English teacher suggest to us once that we should try rewriting something from memory to pare down to what’s most important (bc anything you don’t remember isn’t essential). I start over all the time if smth’s not working for me and I delete and go back if I get stuck. If I’m getting rid of smth that’s longer, I do try to keep it around or move it to a separate doc in case I need to use it later, or to try and incorporate into a different scene so that I’m not dropping it entirely, but I’ve found myself doing that less and less as I go. It’s annoying, maybe, but I don’t grieve haha

Kill your darlings, for sure 🔪

(ALSO the best part abt fanfiction is that even if a scene that you really love doesn’t work in the main sequence, you’re allowed to write spin offs and side stories and extra scenes as much as you want to lol. Like killing your darlings doesn’t have to mean you resign it to never seeing the light of day, maybe you just fake their death and move them to a different neighborhood skdnejcbjdd)