#holy shit the lack of tags
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AUEGH
#ruby rose#rwby#obligatory tiny distressed ruby#my art#HELLO I HAVE OFFICALLY FINISHED YET AGAIN ANOTHER ONE OF MY SEMESTERS#and holy shit it was the most awful by far#i felt like absolute shit the entire sem and was behind in literally all of my classes#it was so shit that i actually skipped a class because of the stress of being behind on work. which i had never done before.#i am a criminal now lmao i feel so bad#also a little mad at myself because i know i could've done better. i've been doing the bare minimum and cutting corners#which was very noticeable lol#im gonna actually split my upcoming semester this time my ass and health cannot do this anymore#BUT ANYWAY I FINISHED MY SEMESTER RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#COUGHS OUT BLOOD AND SINKS BACK INTO EARTH'S CORE AND EVAPORATES#IM DONE!!!#also my eyes are really red now for some reason#probably from the lack of sleep or the long hours staring at my bloody laptop idk#probably both#yeah i should go sleep now lol bye#ranting in the tags because i don't know how to talk like a normal person lmao#sorry if you read all this nonsense jkdhkfsdhfkhd#but i should be more active around here again!
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how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another
#the conversation takes place in antoine’s vod: L’ANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish#like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc it’s a a joke . but it’s also not#he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ‘don’t you want to get married?’#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ‘doesn’t have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyone’#and antoine says ‘well but— just a marriage’ like it’s the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it#the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the#friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of#something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal — he getting betrayed by others and how#he’s fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that he’s gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole#betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesn’t necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but it’s that lack of certainty#certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how he’s tired of people promising him things (or#seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and there’s an insecurity there that really shines if you take this#moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with#them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he#talks about how he doesn’t like secret keeping but doesn’t seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue#of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman i’m not sure he understands what he’s doing very#well . and as we know antoine doesn’t make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do#his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at arm’s length despite how much#he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees#as having started the whole ‘secret keeping’ stuff in the first place . and not etoiles who’s actively going down a path with the codes and#resistance that he cannot follow#that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS#god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters#anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you#i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles#qfrench.posting
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A lot of good confessions. Thank you all for keeping nuance in your asks while discussing things and/or asking me for input. Let me reiterate that if you’re sending asks about legitimate problems and discomfort due to them, you are not any of the yappers that I complain about and I’m not like… ignoring or deleting your asks in protest. I just became incredibly busy irl and a few of these seem to ask my input, and I’m a huge yapper who fully intends to write like a wholeass essay in response to them lol.
#erm… adulting am I right *scratching head emoji*?#/half joking /half maybe millennials were right about that#it seems like some of y’all want someone to understand so I’m glad you came to me because omfg are some of these other confession-#accounts fucking mean#like holy shit. half of these other people will act like they’re superior for answering all of their asks#with responses#and the response is like ‘ummm… well actually (patronizes you over wording choice) and (complete lack of understanding or nuance).’#like you’re not better than anyone for yelling at them over completely harmless shit they’re too nervous to say anywhere other than a-#confession blog…#if you’re any one of the people who sent me 10+ violent threats in the night then you are not getting an essay though#you’re getting laughed at by me and then deleted#not a confession#<- block that tag if you dgaf about me or my life or my feelings#I won’t be hurt I promise lol
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month-long chronic insomnia flareup got me acting a BIT too HDB-esk so I drew myself some Kims. I have cracked it! (The case of 'how to draw this MF')
feat one Harry, ECHEM, and Kineema that I fucking made up from memory because im not studying that beast
#broke my 5+ year sobriety streak w class As last Thursday. Sigh.#if you got on ave >4 sleep a day for a month you'd probably also go insane#my stupid neighbour's workmen decided to start taking the scaffolding down at HALF SEVEN. AND I WORK NIGHTS!!!! AHHH!!!#anyway....... kim Kitsuragi save me#draw him balding 2k24#also i am fucking working on DUCKLINGS i promise but the lack of sleep giving me migranes i dont wanna look at a screen too long#im a writer before an artists but im actually rly proud of these- borrowed my GFs brush pens and they're so good holy shit#my hands shaking doesnt matter cos the lines get thicker if i press harder!!!! wow!!!#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#coupris kineema#breakthrough imminent: post of mine#ignore my tags im losing my fucking marbles fr#anyway this is all in prep because i ACTUALLY wanna draw younger Kim from my fic. like. properly#not just at a safely vague distance lmao
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Master’s program be like ‘yeah find scientific journals that support your decision to use this framework (from the textbook, mind you) on your case study paper.’ So you go look and then there’s like…2 of them.
#grad tag#about to rip my hair out#ask Austin holy shit I was looking for h o u r s#finally found one on the efficacy of using it to treat depression and I am running with it#this isn’t even an obscure theory holy shit the lack of solid evidence is insane#(client/person-centered theory)#the problem I think is that it’s way too broad and difficult to measure so it doesn’t get studied much?
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not sorry for rbing a bunch of bloody gabv1el art it will happen again
#i’m mildly unwell#i need them to fight to the death and i need one of them to actually fucking die at the end#disappointing lack of blood in that tag btw. smh#if neither of them are holding a weapon AND there’s no blood you’re doing something wrong i don’t make the rules#i only ship them when they’re beating the shit out of each other#blasphemy against the holy spirit#this was incomprehensible . i don’t care it can go in the tag
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Drew a spider woman person. Maybe I'll give her hair sometime. Or pants.
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Isn't she neat? I think she's neat
#anthropomorphized spider#drawing#traditional art#BALD#6 eyed bitch (affectionate)#I wanted to maker her tall and lanky and a bit shady but I managed none of those except maybe the shady bit :'/#favorite+#not a reblog#artists on tumblr#it feels pretentious to use that last tag#like “Artists in Tumblr” makez you think of like fancy pants artists that draw impeccably not random dude#who just recently got good enough at drawing to draw non peppa-pig ass bodies#But I woke up after haphazard falling asleep and almost gasped after seeing thay in my sketchbook like “Holy shit I drew that”#so yeah I'm tagging her with plenty of tags so people see her too#monster girl#spider girl#Once I manage to draw her properly it is over. She will apper in every piece of paper I own. Being Shady and untrustworthy and#aesthetically pleasing.#Nevermind the blocky head or lack of pants it will be fixed someday probably
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#no i'm sorry i still can't believe i slept with my crush#i'd had a crush on him for months#and i truly NEVER thought we would end up sleeping together#like of course i wanted him#(i wanted NEEDED him biblically)#but the fact he actually wanted me???????#what IS MY LIFE#i've never been lucky with my crushes#like all my crushes have always been unattainable#i'm aware i lacked the self-confidence to believe i could get them if i tried#and this time idk. i tried?? and he wanted me??#and ???? i had such a great time ????#i can't be certain if it'll happen again or not honestly#but I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT#holy shit 🥴#and he's so insanely busy and i'm a massive overthinker and 🥴#anyway i'm sorry!!!!! i'll stop!!!!#OR NOT 🤪#tg#adding more tags to this to say:#if it doesn't happen again well. a real bummer. i'll be sad and i'll cry obviously#but no one can take the memories away from me BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED#why am i so intense lol
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i am still sick but feeling better (had like 20 hours sleep time)
#blahblah#oversharing in tags#yeah i cant smell nor taste anything even as no its still just a dumb flu#finger crossed knocking on wood its not going to last longer than three+ days#otherwise i am kinda fucked#....... as if i already didn't have ages of struggles with eating enough (barely feel/dont at all hunger#at this point i dont even know if its due to autism or depression or both or whatever)#if tasteless becomes like a default glitch holy shit wont i become even skinnier#i see no sense in eating if i cant taste it and the lack of sense and meanings demotivates a lot#no need to be dramatic esfer shuttfup we all know you will force yourself to eat to survive anyway#gdfgdfgfdgdfgfdgdfgdfdfgdfg#i mean i had tasteless glitch before#but it never lasted for longer than a day#it's real weird#how others managed to deal with it for weeks+
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imagine if his hair was just this. this same length in the back.
#SORRY i wanna support long haired kings but hoyos long hair designs are so ugly in the back 💀#which is why j1ng yuan makes me cry with happiness bc his long ass hair is just. flawless. i have no complaints. hoyo did good#yes its bc its tied but STILL. we take the the win whenever we can#also by cropping this pic i noticed that HE ALSO HAS DEFINITION BELOW HIS EYE 😭😭😭💖#its like so nothing but holy shit. the second character to get some sign of being older on their face#like even tho its dumb to say this is too complex for 'gensh1ns restrictive models' to have ill use an example from this same game:#if we think abt samp0 he in the story always refers to him as one of the older people but he has no such indications on his face#meaning hes probs like. in his thirties lmao#(refers to himself*)#yeah im just feeling the lack of anything like we1t and now apparently b1ade in gensh1n#esp afer the recent devastating leak abt a certain character........#(sorry abt so much censoring i just dont want such a negative post in the tags)
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gotta say literally all of BBMC losing prio over a dogshit executed plan of prio wipe was not on my bingo card
#how the fuck do you miss giving a rper prio who you've invited in a seperate discord to help GIVE prio cuz of their good rp#i just fucking hate the lack of communication#was prio wipe necessary? god no#was any form of prio cleaning needed for those who are inactive and havent been up to par with the rp they want to focus the server on?#sure#but holy shit this was not IT susan#ALSO CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT LIKE 90% OF BBMC GOT THEIR PRIO ON MERIT#ELLIE GOT HER FUCKING PRIO A MERE FEW DAYS BEFORE THE FIRST PRIO WIPE WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN SHE NOW HAS TO GET UP AT 5AM TO QUEUE#sorry im ranting cuz I was really enjoying rp these past few months and its killing me that this has made the rp stagnant#np tag
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@teddybeartoji @staryukis @mossmurdock @mikichko @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat @hayakawalove @jel-lyy
“Exorcise. Consume. For whom?”
#holy shit this is genuinely so fucking stunning and SO sickening???#the color palette is GORGEOUS and i love these shades of blue SO much i think it ties in perfectly w suguru actually#him being in the middle of a busy intersection with city lights around??? this atmosphere is one of my FAVORITES of all time#AND PREV SO REAL i just love the pops of red too!#esp from the stoplights + the red on the pavement wow wow wow#i would’ve loved to see suguru animated like this like i need a show of just THIS style of atmosphere#it reminds me of gotham a little bit omfg… and new york… wowowowow the colors the vibes just EVERYTHING is gorgeous#and then suguru HIMSELF??? the white outlines of his curses??? it’s unreal???#just noticed the curses in the fog in the background holy FUCK#the way he’s just standing there too… insert patrick quote… MENACINGLY#BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGHNFNFNFN i love the lack of eyes but i love we can see his expression#this is so fucking cool i also love the painting-esque style of it all i wanna live here (with suguru)#this art reminds me of a dpr ian song… it’s just so good and fits the vibes so well WHEW#tagging everyone bc holy shit this is gorgeous. PREV RB TY FOR PUTTING THIS ON MY DASH LEGEND ILY#geto suguru fanart#favorite fanart
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Going from Ancillary Sword into August Kitko and the Mechs from Space is such like... whiplash to my brain. Ancillary Sword was challenging to read in a way I wasn't expecting but man was it rich as hell, the depth of the worlds and characters in that book are insane. Meanwhile reading AKatMfS is like... the premise is so cool and seems right up my alley but something about the writing is just not gelling with me for whatever reason. I want to get through this book so badly because I am interested but like... part of me is just wondering is this it?? Is this all there is to it?
#cat rambles#spoiler talk in the tags now because I'm just thinking about this too much#like... I think around the same points in either book is when the big bad is revealed or like... shows up more prominently I think#and in AJ it's like FUCK that's Anaander Mianaai and holy SHIT she's such a huge threat but she's really only a threat to the main characte#she doesn't become a bigger civil war threat until a lil later and thats like god damn okay now people are really dying because of that#then in AKatMfS the threat is humanity ending like it wants the humans to go extinct and like SHIT that's pretty intense and it wants#humanity's knowledge and memories and shit which thats cool!! I enjoy that!!#Why the fuck does that not feel like as intense of a threat in my mind as like... the Lord of the Radchs????#it's weird... it's so weird because I WANT to enjoy this book I really do#it reminds me of pacific rim in all the good ways but also it just like doesn't go over the details I'm really interested in#and maybe it's just that I'm not as into Gus and Ardent as main characters as I am Breq but then again how the fuck do you top Breq#i also don't think it helps that the creator of the mechs/what is killing humanity was revealed so fast in AKatMfS#Like I started reading that chapter and.... I felt udnerwhelmed???#the twist was kinda neat like we've known about this AI since the beginning parts of the book#but idk.... it's like.... okay... AI knows it's going to be archived once it's no longer useful bc it was built on the corpse of its#predacessor and THATS INTERESTING!!! I LIKE THAT!!! so why then does it feel like such an old cliche#maybe I just gotta read more but I just feel... underwhelmed I guess for lack of a better term#fucking mitchells vs the machines did this shit and that had so much heart in it#back to the pacific rim comparison#this book is also about climate change and war and how bad humanity is and like???? fuck man.... idk do you have anything else to say#besides humans do bad shit and are unredeemable???#I'm sure it does I'm like so sure it does but god#anyways at least I get to read another Andrew Joseph White book after this :]#sunk cost fallacy has my ass unfortunatley#wow this got to be long
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'messy' 18+
oneshot (request) - logan learns that you can squirt, he indulges in that information (1.8k words) pairing - logan howlett (xmen) x f!reader tags - established relationship, fingering, petnames: babygirl, baby, good girl, praising, kind of overstimulation, squirting, lots of squirting, a little rough, he talks reader through it, wet mentions, reader orgasm, dirty talk, fingers in mouth, logan makes reader taste themselves.
.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.
you're splayed out on his lap on the sofa just how he likes you to be, nestled on top of his plush, firm thighs. your knees are bent with your ankles resting over either side of his legs, your back flush with his warm chest, your whole body exposed, open, for him.
logan's thick, calloused fingers lazily stroke your clit, earning soft mewls from your lips as your head tilts back over his shoulder. his other hand is ensuring his middle finger pumps in and out of you at a slow pace, your body craving those broad digits stretching your tight walls.
.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.
you're moaning, gripping his arm for dear life as you squirm in his lap, rolling your hips instinctively. it was beautiful, the way he could make you sing for him, the way he could make your body move for him with just a few simple strokes, almost like a puppet, pulling your strings. he would never consider himself your 'master', but god, you'd let him control you whenever he liked.
he smirks, nuzzling his fuzzy beard into the side of your cheek, his lips finding their place at your ear, "that feel good, baby girl?" logan asks, his voice a deep purr. he already knows the answer.
you gasp at his low-toned voice, gruff like gravel but sweet like honey, "yes. . ."
"mh, that's what i thought. . . think you can take a little more though." he huffs, slipping another finger inside.
your walls clench around the sudden new presence and you moan, loudly, craving the feeling of being filled by him in whatever capacity he's willing to give.
"that's it," he coos, picking up the pace, "good girl, gooood girl. . ." logan loves how easily he can slip inside of you, how he'd always find you dripping, cunt aching, core throbbing for him. his sensitive ears perk up at the sweet sounds of your wet pussy taking his fingers in, the wet schlick sounds filling the room.
your cheeks flush, looking down at the way his fingers are making light work of you, your shirt hiked up to expose your breasts. with the pace increasing, and the way he's so sweetly purring filthy words into your ear. . . you feel a sensation start to build.
it's. . . new, almost uncomfortable but not quite. not the same as an orgasm but almost. it pools low in your belly, just a little out of reach.
but his fingers pick up again, slamming deep inside of you, curling just enough. his fingers circling your clit remain slow in contrast, creating a dizzying combination of sensations that have you clenching around him and calling out his name over and over in some desperate plea. desperation for him to continue, for the building feeling, for him, full stop.
the feeling returns. fuck, it almost feels like you need to piss. your cheeks flush, eyes rolling back as you fight back the feeling, but he's rubbing you and touching you and fucking you too good for you to hold anything back.
"logan," you gasp, arching your back, "l-logan wait-"
but it's too late, before he even has the chance to slow down, you squirt. your juices coat his hands, his fingers, dripping down along his arm and onto the sofa below earning a gasp from both of you.
his eyes widen, stopping his movements immediately causing you to whine at the sudden lack of friction.
then there's silence, save for the lewd wet dripping from the sofa onto the hardwood floor.
your head is reeling, did. . . did you just squirt? fuck, you'd never done that before. heart pounding, you swallow hard, instinctively wanting to apologise for the mess, "shit, sorry i-"
"holy fuck. . ." he whispers shakily before you even have the chance to finish your sentence, "where were you hidin' that from me?" you can hear the smirk in his voice clear as day as he talks into your ear.
"what?" you whisper.
he smirks, kissing your ear, "you didn't tell me you could make cute little messes like that, baby."
"i didn't know i could. . ." you admit, biting your lip as you feel the cool air of the room brush against your dripping sensitive core.
logan's eyes widen, the implication of your words nestling deep in his brain, and groin. he was the first ever to make you squirt, the first to make you feel so good that you couldn't help but make a mess for him. pride swells in his chest, manifesting in a low rumbling smug chuckle at the back of his throat.
". . .think you could make another mess for me?" he hums, his fingers on your clit slowly resuming their movements.
you whimper, the new sensation you experienced was foreign but surprisingly welcomed. you had no idea it felt that good, that you could ever do that. but logan has a way of coaxing everything out of you, cock and fingers playing you like an instrument he's mastered.
"don't know. . ." you mumble, suddenly feeling skittish.
it's then that his fingers start fucking you again, gliding in and out easily, your fluttering hole welcoming the movement. "you can, i know you can." he encourages, nibbling at your ear, "you'll be a good girl, you'll make another mess for me, won't you?"
fuck, his words. his fucking words. every single time they had you acting crazy, letting out sounds you didn't know you could make. and he drinks them in, drinks up all those sweet little sounds from that pretty little mouth of yours that he loves so much.
you simply nod, feeling his digits pumping rougher, curling to find that sweet sweet spot once more. you're not sure if you can even do it again, but logan seems pretty fucking set on making him gush for you at least once more.
he scissors his fingers slightly, stretching you, the motion making you whine with pleasure. but when he pushes in a third finger? that's when you really start screaming for him.
"that's more like it, huh?" he grins, breathing deeply through his nose from how hard he's working you, "just needed a bit more, cus' i know you like it thick baby, don't you? like it thick like my cock?"
you want to gasp, to react to his words, but your eyes are rolling back again, mouth stuck open in an 'o' shape as you feel that sensation build once more. your body is tensing, thighs clenching, back arching, eyes squeezing shut. subconsciously you hold your breath as if that'll help. he's got you right where he wants you, right where he knows you want to be.
seconds later you're gushing, more this time - it lands on the hardwood below with a crude splash and coats his hands nicely. logan laughs, a deep dirty laugh as you writhe. he gives a gentle slap to your clit, then a firmer one, causing more to spill from you along with some squeaks.
"there we go, good girl, what a good girl. . ." you can hear the smirk in his voice, the wide grin he's wearing, the smugness lacing every word that leaves his lips, "feels good to make a mess for me, doesn't it?"
you're breathless, panting, overwhelmed in the best way. and then he speaks again.
". . . i think you can handle one more." logan purrs, movements suddenly fast and hard. his fingers fuck deep into you, curling to hit your g-spot with each calculated thrust. the fingers on your clit speed up, rubbing in practiced circles sending sparks of electricity throughout your body.
you want it too, you'd give it to him over and over again, create messes all night long if your body let you.
god you'd do anything for him, especially in that moment, and how could you not? the way his fingers play with you, toy with you, slide into you. . .
"d-don't know if i can!" you admit, huffing, trying to get more air.
but he shakes his head, "yes you can." is all he says, firmly.
and he's right. moments later you feel it pooling in your belly once more, the accompanying orgasm approaching that threatens to throw you overboard. you're lost in a sea of sensations, stars in your vision, his voice in your ear the only anchor you have to reality. you let it guide you, until you're drenching his fingers and jeans once more, voice ringing out within his bedroom as his voice coaxes and praises you softly.
his fingers on your clit come together to slap down against you, each smack against your sensitive bundle of nerves causing more to spray. you're making such a big mess, his jeans are damp. he doesn't care. this is what he wants, and fuck, if you don't feel the best you've ever felt in your entire life. . .
he keeps going, his fingers steadily pumping into you roughly, desperate to get every last drop as he feels you clamp down around his fingers. you're moaning, gasping, gripping onto his arm for dear life as you ride out your orgasm. it's too much, but it's also perfect. logan watches on in deep satisfaction as you writhe on his lap, his bulge pressing against you above him, cock twitching and rock hard just from touching you.
as your body relaxes, so do his movements, slowing down. he glides his fingers in a few times, enjoying the slick sounds they make before pulling them from your still-fluttering hole. he lazily drifts his damp digits along your tummy, leaving a trail of wetness up to your chest until it finds your mouth.
you part your lips gladly, turning your head to look up at him through hooded lids as you take his fingers in your mouth. diligently, your tongue laps at his fingers, reeling at the taste of yourself on him, dripping from him.
"good girl, you're always so fuckin' good for me. . ." he smiles, kissing your forehead as he watches you, his free hand resting on your tummy. you enjoy the feeling of his large palm against you, making you feel comforted whilst also grounding you after that whirlwind of release.
you pull his fingers from your mouth with a wet pop, instead kissing along his fingers and down across the sensitive skin of his knuckles. a silent thank you, for making you feel so good.
logan watches keenly, growling quietly at the stirring in his groin. his eyes flash with something. you'd call it mischief.
your eyes flit up to his, knowing what he's thinking before he's even said it.
"wonder what else you can do. . ." he smirks, "keeping any other secrets from me?" logan asks as he rolls his hips against you, prompting you to feel how hard he is for you and you exhale, relaxing back against him.
it was funny, how he could always push you right to the edge when you think you're spent.
and yet have you craving more. . .
you grin, biting your lip, "wanna find out?"
#my writing#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x f!reader#wolverine smut#logan howlett x you#logan howlett smut#wolverine fanfiction#the wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#james howlett#deadpool 3#deadpool movie#james logan howlett#x men#xmen fanfiction#x men movies#marvel x reader#marvel#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#marvel comics#marvel mcu#hugh jackman#worst wolverine
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#tag talk#*grins manically*#my swarm grows ever larger my power grows ever stronger my reach grows ever further#*follower count increases by a few ticks*#I'm drunkest I've ever been tonight#almost threw up once. resisting the urge to say twice because that's lying to make myself sound cooler#anyway hi new folk I'm manic bipolar right now so whooooopp whoop even sex doesn't even fill the energy deficit#and I even stretched myself as wide open as I can go so it's not for lack of trying#I watched “I Saw The TV Glow” with a friend and holy shit I thought it was a horror movie and I was rocked by existentialism wow wow wow#I'm so inebriated#anyway I'm going to bed maybe#remember to keep shining on and be yourself
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Most dedicated Larpers ever written.
Stephenie Meyer's sci-fi novel The Host is like. it's almost so much. the alien bodysnatchers at the center of the plot are like Animorph's yeerks if they got really into cottagecore. no, they don't want intergalactic war and domination! they want intergalactic peace and domination! they make every planet they visit a peaceful socialist utopia and like, okay, yes, they have to violently take over the bodies of a planet's native inhabitants to do it. yes, they have to suppress the unwilling minds of their host bodies. yes they are for all intents and purposes committing a genocide of their chosen planets' initial inhabitants and then puppeting their husks around playing at homogeneous, sanitized versions of the cultures they destroyed. the alien main character mentions that even episodes of the Brady Bunch were scrubbed because they were deemed too violent. and they call themselves souls, which is so loaded on so many levels. impossible not to read into the spiritual connotations, especially when written by an author coming from the mormon church which so highly values mission trips. just by sympathizing with humans who don't want to be possessed, by helping them hide out and stay free, our protagonist becomes a pariah, an outlaw from her own society. peace is valued above all else but not peace for the colonized, who are meat to be processed. it's better this way. they had so much potential but squandered it with foolish violence so now we have the right to overtake them and make them live correctly. isn't it beautiful now? isn't everything perfect? there's like almost so much happening in this story except Stephenie's a fucking mormon so she never draws any meaningful connections to anything and the happy ending is that the alien brain parasite protag is gifted the body of a beautiful coma patient that she can "ethically" puppet around, easy peasy problem solved. also there's a fucking love triangle.
#no no you're right about all of this#i want that book rewritten but by like. p djeli clark. it has PIECES of something really fucking good in it.#but everything around that small handful of promising elements is just#RADICALLY shallow and lacking in actual engagement with the world she's built#something something 'souls' and the idea of the human soul and the idea that humans don't have them#because they don't have 'souls'#that COULD be some ring shout shit if someone...good wrote it#but no instead we are here#you can really tell that the only part of that book i retained was the scene of trying to remove the souls by force#because i 10000% think the only good version of this take is just a raw unmitigated horror novel#OOH or silvia moreno garcia i have a whole collection of lovecraftian horror stories about women of color that she edited and assembled#she could fuck me up with this premise#<PREV TAGS#not animorphs but holy shit isn't this an animorphs mood#An entire society of Edrisses#Also#Sol's Eleutherophobia fanfic REALLY dug into this#at one point the yeerks try to breed humans without brains like the coma patient happy ending of the Host#it is portrayed as perhaps the cruelest and most horrifying thing these characters have ever processed#if I'd gotten more than fifty pages into the Host I'd agree
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