#holy shit everything fucking sucks. maybe it's because i'm tired but god god god god god god i can't fucking. ouuggh

[hazmatazz]

holy shittt i wish my therapist didn't quit and i didn't have so many issues

[medusapelagia]

31 Suddenly parents

written for @steddieangstyaugust (prompt:"I'm not going to beg you to love me." ) and @augustwritingchallenge (2 Prompts: accidental baby acquisition + retail workers) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: Henderdads Words: 1153

Working in retail isn’t that bad. Steve is good with people, so he can deal easily even with the more annoying clients. The problem is his coworker and housemate: Eddie Munson.

Eddie has no filter, when a customer asks him a stupid question he tells them in their face how stupid they are and they don’t give a fuck even if the manager keeps telling him to pay attention because he’s going to fire him one of this days, Eddie knows he won’t because the pay sucks and so he doesn’t care.

“I’m going to be a famous guitarist soon, no need to stress about this stupid job. It will be a funny note on my autobiography.” Eddie says everytime Steve reminds him that he still has a rent to pay and Steve is so tired of his bullshit. 

“So, what about your great musical career?” Steve mocks him while they are checking the shop stock at three am because none wanted to do such a shitty job and they need the fucking money.

“I’ll send you a postcard from LA soon, Harrington,” Eddie rebukes, blowing a raspberry at Steve while counting the stupid boxes once more.

Steve doesn’t insist, too busy keeping track of everything on the folder Keith gave him the night before. He’s starving. They have worked a late shift and now they are counting an infinite amount of boxes and god only knows when they’ll finally mange to eat something.

In a moment of silence the sound of a stomach growling fills the air, Steve puts an hand on his stomach but it wasn’t him.

"You hungry?" Steve finally asks Eddie, looking at him in the eye for the first time during the night, but Eddie turns toward him, confused.

"I thought it was you!" He replies, frowning.

They keep quiet for a moment, wondering if someone is in the storehouse with them, but when they don’t hear any other sound they get back to their work until they hear another gurgle followed by a soft whimper.

“Did you hear that?” Steve asks, looking around, hitching for the bat he always has in his trunk.

“I did.” Eddie replies, the same scared look on his face while he looks around the pile of boxes.

“Maybe it’s a dog.” Steve suggests, looking for something to defend himself.

“It didn’t sound like a dog.” Eddie replies, looking warily around them.

“A thief?”

“Robbing paper towels and detergent?” Eddie whispers, but he doesn’t move.

Steve holds the folder tight and steps closely toward the direction where the sound came from, when another little gurgle makes them both jump out of their skin. Gathering all his courage, Steve steps out from behind a pile of boxes, holding his folder high on his head, ready to crash it on the stranger’s head, but when he finally sees what’s making those sounds he freezes.

“Eddie?” He calls, lowering his arms, “Do you see what I see?”

On the ground, close to the shutter, there’s a sleepy little boy in a car seat, brushing his eyes and whimpering softly.

“A baby? What does a fucking kid do here?!” Eddie yells and the child startles, starting to cry out loud.

“No, no. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.” Steve coos him, picking him up and rocking him softly, while the kid brushes his face against Steve leaving snot and tears on his uniform, “I know… I know. He didn’t meant to scare you, little boy. Tell him you didn’t mean it.” Steve says to Eddie, still rocking the baby.

“What? No! There’s a child in the storehouse and the problem is that I screamed?”

The baby starts to wails while Steve glares at Eddie who begrudgingly finally whispers his excuses to the child.

“Sorry, kid. Didn’t mean to scare you. But you scared me first. What the hell are you doing here, little buddy?” Eddie asks, looking at the baby seat and finding a crumpled letter under a worned out blanket.

‘His name his Dustin. Please take care of him because I can’t.”

“Holy fucking shit, Steve. Someone abandoned him.”

“No shit, Sherlock! Kids don’t appear in storehouses on their own! Are you a hungry little man? Yeah, you’re. We’re going to find you something to eat soon, don’t worry.”

“What? How? What do babies even eat?”

“Formula. Let’s go to the pharmacy and pick up some formula and a bottle for this hungry baby. A pacifier and some diapers too.”

“Steve, you can’t just take a random kid home!”

“We can’t leave him here!”

“Of course no! Let’s call 911 and give him to them.”

“It’s three am in the morning! He needs to be in a safe place, not tossed around from one car to another.”

“Steve…” Eddie tries to help him be more reasonable, but Steve isn’t listening.

“Are you going to help or not?” He asks, still holding the baby tight to his chest.

“I… I… ok. I’ll help.”

“Good. There’s a pharmacy that should be open next to our place. I’ll wait for you at home.” Steve replies, grabbing the babyseat and the kid and throwing the storehouse keys to Eddie, “And close everything before leaving!”

***

When Eddie arrives at home, the baby is still crying but it’s clear that Steve bathed him, even if he’s still fussy and he calms down only when Steve finally gives him a bottle of warm milk. He lets out a huge burpe that makes both Eddie and Steve giggle, and then he falls asleep in Steve’s arms.

“You look good with a kid in your arms.” Eddie admits, caressing the baby’s puffy cheek.

“I always loved kids. Wanted to become a preschooler teacher, but things didn’t worked out.”

“Your parents?”

“Yeah.”

“You should try again. You would be a great teacher. And a great dad.”

“Eddie, I’m gay, who’s going to give me a kid to raise?” Steve asks in mocking tone.

“I would. And someone else did.”

“That’s just a coincidence.”

Eddie shakes his head in denial, “I don’t think so, Stevie. It’s no coincidence if the kid was there tonight.”

Steve chuckles and the baby complains at being jostle, “Sorry, sorry. Keep sleeping, Dustin.”

“Now what?”

“Now we wait for the morning and we go to the hospital to check him out and find him a family.”

“We could be his family,” Eddie declares, looking at the little boy while Steve raises an eyebrow, unimpressed, "I'm not going to beg you to love me. I know that train left the station long ago, but we could still raise the kid together."

“What about your dreams of becoming a great musician?”

“You’re right. They were just dreams. This,” Eddie says, pointing at the baby, “this is real.”

That night Steve and Eddie slept in the same bed for the first time after years, a little baby between them and a dream of family accidentally coming true. 

[teaveetamer]

It really sucks that you're getting harassed, but u should look back at the harassment you never really stopped to support and the harassment you avoid talking about too. Everyone sucks here, you're incapable of decrying the harassment coming from your "side" because you care more about blorbo discourse... Do you actually stand up against harassment if you don't say anything when it's from your "side" or at least people who enjoy your blorbo? If you only do so when coming from fans of the character you don't like?

I sincerely hope the harassment you receive stop, to be clear you absolutely do not deserve the shit you're dealing with, nobody does. But I hope you'll genuine look at yourself and the people surrounding you too.

Anon, I'm going to take this in the best possible faith, but holy shit this is so fucking terminally online. Like, you are aware that I'm an adult? I'm slaving away at an unpaid internship, I'm in graduate school, and I've got 20k words worth of academic papers to write and exams to study for. I'm spending time with my dying grandpa and I'm finding new and inventive ways to give a semi-feral cat heart medicine without getting my thumb bitten off. I'm not "intentionally ignoring" things going on, I'm just not an omniscent god who can keep track of 472 million Tumblr users at every given moment of the day and also have a job and a life. So if you've got beef and you think I'm not properly calling someone out then I'm going to need you to send me a link. I get maybe and hour of Tumblr time a day, and I don't actually follow 3H discourse because, shocker, I don't actually find getting into the exact same tired fights we were getting into 5 years ago all that fun or enjoyable. Isn't it wild though? It's been half a decade since 3H launch and I've spent like half of that with people stalking me and sending me death threats for no fucking reason!

Anyway, I could not give two tenths of a fuck whether or not you like my blorbo. I'm primarily concerned by the people sending death threats, actively defending genocidal rhetoric, stalking people, making false pedophilia accusations, et-fucking-cetera. I've done literally everything in my power to try and come to an understanding with the people inflicting the harassment and they're stiiiiiiill just doing it, years later, cuz I guess they don't have anything better to do. The only remotely comparable thing I've witnessed from "my side" in recent days, which frankly doesn't even come close to the level of vitriol and harassment of death threats, was that one of my mutuals called the genocidal freak (who intentionally tried to trigger me in the past) a mean name. And I only found out about that because a friend of mine saw it and talked to me about it. And wow look at that, if you actually go to the post you can literally see me telling that mutual to knock it off! And I spoke to them privately about it too! Which is something, frankly, I think I had every reason to not do given the way that person being insulted has treated me (And the lack of apology I've received from them for that). So like, not sure which kidney you want me to sacrifice to prove that I'm not actually cool with people stalking others and sending death threats.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Let Me Help

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 4k

Includes- period sex, reader is scared, Yoongi is comforting, sweet, gentle, fingering, missionary sex, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine

@yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana

@tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa @borntowalkaway @kjqueen05

J POV

John Wick shoots a guy in the face, then turns shooting three more right away

"Holy crap", I say, watching the movie

"Is that realistic?", Yoongi asks

I shrug

"Maybe if you're trained as an assassin or spy. But it's just a movie"

"Yeah but it'd be cool if someone could actually do that"

It would be

"I always wanted to be an assassin"

He looks over at me, with a look on his face

"C'mon Jo. You could never kill anyone."

"Well duh, not as me right now. But if I was trained to do it then I would"

"Well thank God there was no way for you to be trained to do that", he teases

I stick my tongue out at him

Pain flares in my lower stomach, making me grab it, moaning

Stupid cramps

Stupid period

I hate being a girl

He looks at me again, "Hurts?"

I nod, "Being a girl sucks"

I have my period again

So stupid pain

"Do you need anything? Aleve, chocolate, ice cream?", he asks

He's so cute

"No thanks. I already ate enough chocolate and took Aleve. I just have to wait until it kicks in"

He gets quiet and I look over at him

He has an unreadable look on his face

"You ok?", I ask

"Have you ever....uh had sex while...you had....uh you know?", he asks quietly

What?

Is he seriously asking me this?

I pause the movie and look at him

"Uh no. I know people who've done it but I never have."

"Why?", he asks

"Uh well it's kinda messy and guys don't want that on them, even if they wear a condom"

And I just never thought about it

I always have bad cramps and even thinking about moving at all makes me tired

"I don't care", he says

What. The. Fuck?

What is he telling me?

What is he asking me?

He's my best friend who I happen to be sleeping with but I never expected this

"You don't...care?"

He shakes his head

"Oh uh that's good to know", I say, at a complete loss for words

"Do you want to?"

I sit up and stare at him

"You want sex that bad?"

"No", he answers, shaking his head, "It's just....."

"Just what?", I ask

Where is he going with this?

Especially since he said he doesn't want sex that bad

"Look I was curious and looked it up. And I read that if you have sex with....that...it can help your cramps go away when you cum. And I know yours are bad and if I can help you, then I want to"

He looks away, his cheeks turning pink

I'm actually floored that he'd think to do that for me

"And you're ok with it?", I ask, in disbelief

"It's just blood"

Wow

I have no idea what to think

It's sweet that he wants to do it for me

But I don't want him to do it just for that reason

"Thanks Yoongi but I don't want you to force yourself to do it. It's ok"

"I'm not forcing myself Jo.", he protests, "I would never force myself or force you to do anything. I want to. I always like being with you and if you want to, I don't think we should stop having sex because of some blood. It's not a big deal"

I'm stunned

He really doesn't care

He wants to

"Do you want to?"

I hesitate but then I say yes

Why not?

There's a first time for everything

"Ok well uh we should get towels to put under you"

"Right ok", I say, standing up, "I'll be right back"

I walk to the linen closet, opening it

I can't believe this is happening

I've never thought anyone would want to have sex when the girl has their period

I never thought Yoongi would want that

I grab black towels and bring them to my room

He takes them, then tells me, "Uh I don't know what you use but if you want to go to the bathroom to take it off, you can"

Shit I didn't think about that

"Yeah ok", I answer

In the bathroom, I pull out the tampon I have and the pad that's on my underwear

The first three days, it's really bad and this is the end of the second day

I don't know what to do so I take a towel and wrap it around my bottom half, then go to my room

Yoongi already put out the towels and he waves me over

I can't believe I'm doing this

I sit on the towels, facing him

He smiles at me, running his fingers in my hair

He leans closer, his lips brushing against mine

And I completely melt

His hands move to my shirt pulling it up and off, lips going to my neck, spreading kisses all over

His hands touch my breasts, squeezing softly

I don't have a bra on

I'm at home and Yoongi has already seen me naked hundreds of times

I pull his shirt off and goddamn, I love looking at his body

It's fucking perfect

His pale skin, his little tummy, his broad muscular chest

And his fucking arms

I love his arms

From his shoulders down to his perfect hands, I love everything about them

He stands up, getting his boxers and sweatpants down and off

He's already hard

He's always hard and I like that I'm the cause of it

He sits back in from of me, gently pulling the towel around me away and dropping it on the floor

His lips crash into mine, his kiss fiery and deep

I put my arms around his neck and he slowly pushes me back on the bed, coming with me

He opens my legs, laying in between them, still kissing me

His kisses move from my mouth down my neck to my chest

I'm torn between how good he's making me feel and how scared I am

I know he said blood doesn't bother him but I don't know if he's serious or just saying that to put me at ease

His tongue runs against my nipple and I gasp at the pleasure, my back arching right into his

"Good girl", he murmurs, then takes my nipple in his mouth, sucking gently

"Yyy... Yoongi", I moan

"Mmmm yes baby. I love hearing you moan my name"

Jesus Christ, he's such a turn on

He keeps sucking and he plays with my other nipple with his fingers

It feels so fucking good

He switches nipples, licking, sucking and playing with his mouth and hand

I can't... I'm gonna cum

He's done this once before, making me cum by playing with my nipples

It felt so good and it's gonna happen now

"Yoongi, fuck", I moan coming, shaking under him

He keeps sucking after I finish, pleasure taking over again and I close my eyes

I feel his big hand slowly touching my body, running over my side and stomach

Fuck his hand is big and touches so much skin at once

I love it

His hand moves lower and my eyes slam open, grabbing onto his wrist

"Yoongi", I panic

"It's ok jagi"

"No Yoongi"

He lifts his head, kissing me gently

"It's ok baby. I want to touch you. I don't care about blood."

"But-"

"Shh baby. I promise it's ok. I can just wipe it on the towel"

I don't know

This is so different and I'm terrified he'll freak out

He looks in my eyes, "Trust me Jo"

I don't know if it's because of the way he's looking at me or that he's asking me to trust him but I let go of his wrist and nod

The smile he gives me takes my breath away

He's fucking stunning and I love him so much

But he will never know

Never

He kisses me again, his tongue in my mouth, playing with mine

I feel his hand move again and I shiver when his fingers start rubbing my clit

I slide my arms around his neck, loving the feel of his lips on mine

His fingers move, gliding inside

I kiss him harder, feeling the pleasure

He moves his fingers at a steady pace, pressing on my spot, building up another orgasm

His kissing me hard, his tongue all over mine and I'm in fucking heaven

His fingers slide in again and I lose it, coming and still kissing him

"Good baby girl", he whispers against my lips

He pulls his fingers out and I feel him move his hand on the towel

Probably wiping off the blood

"I want you", he murmurs, kissing my collarbones, pulling my legs around his waist

"You're going to wear a condom right?", I ask

He has to

So it won't get on him

"No"

My gaze snaps to his, "No?"

"No Jo. It's you. I don't care about anything getting on me that comes from you"

Jesus Christ

He's being serious

Mind blown

I feel him right there and I tense up

"Relax jagi", he whispers, as he moves his fingers up my body, touching me so lightly

"Ffff...fuck", I whimper, closing my eyes against his touch

He presses his lips to mine again as he pushes in slowly

Oh fuck

My body presses against his as he slides all in

"My jagi feels so good", he whispers in my ear

"Yyy...you feel good too"

"Good baby. It doesn't hurt?"

I shake my head, "Nnn...no"

"Should I move?"

"Yes Yoongi. Yes"

He starts slowly moving in and out, his thrusts becoming harder and faster each time he goes in

Pleasure runs through my veins, moans leaving my mouth, filling up the room

I run my hands up and down his back, feeling his muscles move as he moves

God feeling that is so hot, it drives me crazy

Yoongi kisses my neck over and over, his hand gripping my hip hard

Fuck me, I love it

I'm still so fucking shocked he wanted to while I have my period

And that he looked up that it'll make my cramps better and he wants to do that for me

I was and still am blown away

I didn't think he thought about me like that

"My jagi's gonna cum", he murmurs in my skin

He's so right

I'm right there and his next thrust pushes me over

"Yoongi", I moan, the pleasure he's giving me feeling so fucking amazing, my pussy throbbing around his thick cock

"Yeah, my good girl", he says, kissing my shoulder, "Again baby"

"Again?"

"Yeah Jo. I'm gonna make you cum so much and make you feel so good"

Fuck me, I want that so much

I'm so surprised that I want more

I'm so surprised at how relaxed I am in his arms right now

I thought I'd be tense and worried about having sex with my period

But he's being so gentle, kissing me all over, holding onto me softly, making me relax

He holds onto one of my thighs, keeping it against his body while he moves

He moans against my skin and I love hearing him, feeling his voice vibrate on my skin

I love that I can make him feel just as good as he makes me feel

My hands move up and down his back gently, feeling his skin against my hands

I love him so much

More than anything in the world

I wish he was mine

"My baby, I love being inside you jagi. It's the best"

Happiness bursts in my chest as I hold him tighter against me

"I love you inside too naekkeo. I love being with you"

He lifts his head, smiling at me and pressing his lips to mine

I squeeze his cock hard, making him groan

"Please baby, cum", he asks

He thrusts hard, making pleasure wash over me as I release on him

"Oh god yes jagi. More", he cries, slamming right into my spot

"Fuck Yoongi", I call, climaxing after a few hard thrusts

"Again"

He hits my spot again and again I explode all over him

He keeps going, harder, giving me more orgasms and I fucking love it

It's constant pleasure, one orgasm after another

No one has ever gave me multiple orgasms in a row

No one but him

He's fucking amazing, the best man anyone could ask for

"Baby", he gasps, "Please baby, can I cum now?"

"Yes baby, yes", I answer, holding him and playing with his hair

He moans loudly as he cums, holding onto my body hard

"Oh jagi, Joanne, yes baby", he whimpers, "My best girl"

I love when he calls me his girl

I wish so much that I could be

That would be my dream come true

When he finishes, I feel him pull out

I keep holding him to me

I'm so scared to let him go, I'm scared that he's going to freak out, when he sees blood on him

He kisses my neck softly, then kiss my lips

"You ok jagi?", he asks

"Yeah. I uh... I", I trail off

"What baby? You can tell me anything"

"I'm uh...I'm scared....you're going to uh get grossed out or freak out, when you uh see the blood on you"

He looks at me softly, running his fingers in my hair

"I don't care Jo. I promise, nothing from you could ever gross me out. Don't worry ok. I know there's going to be blood and I don't care. It comes off. It's ok"

I believe him but I'm still so scared

So I just keep holding him, running my fingers in his hair

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

Yoongi POV

I love being in her arms

I know she's scared of letting me go

She's afraid I'm going to freak out when I see her blood

I don't give a shit

I really don't

We've been all over each other, nothing from her could ever gross me out

And...I love her so much, I'll do anything for her

Anything

But right now, I'm just happy laying on her, feeling her hands in my hair and her fingers on my back

I can't help but kiss her chest, kiss her skin

I love the way it feels against mine

Soft and so smooth

I run my fingers along her body, feeling her tremble against them

Fuck me I love that

I love when she's this sensitive

And her constant touches are getting me hard again

I lift my head up, pressing my lips to hers

"More baby. Please?", I ask

She raises her eyebrow

"You want more?"

I nod, "If you let me"

She smiles softly, "Yeah baby. I love being with you."

I feel a smile burst on my face

I kiss her hard, my tongue in her mouth, pressing against hers

Aligning myself, I slide right inside her, moaning and shivering

I love going inside her

Every fucking time it feels like the first time

She's so fucking tight and I love the way she grips my cock

"Yes fuck", she groans

I smile against her lips

I fucking love her reaction to me, I love that she loves sex with me

It's the only way I can be close to her without the crippling fear of rejection

Pulling out a little, I roll my hips forward, sliding right back inside

"Oh God", she cries

She's really wet

I know it's because of her blood and juice mixing and you know what, it feels fucking amazing

"My baby's always so tight for me", I whisper

"Yes Yoongi. Always just for you"

I keep sliding in and out, making sure my head rubs against her spot and soon I feel her throbbing on me

"Cum for me baby girl", I ask

Her hands tighten on my upper arms hard, her head pushing against the pillow as she moans my name, coming

'She's fucking beautiful', I think

Her face, her eyes, her smile

All fucking stunning

I thrust a little harder, making her whimper

Her moans and screams are music to my ears and I want to hear them all the time

Her pussy clenches me over and over, sending spikes of pleasure down my spine

"Gonna be my good girl and cum again?", I ask

She nods, then closes her eyes, her body shaking in my arms and I feel her release all over me

"Yoongi"

God I love hearing her moan my name

Scream my name

Say my name in anyway in her gorgeous voice

"Yes good girl"

I keep going, slamming harder, fucking her through her orgasm to make it better

"Yyy...Yoongi!", she cries, getting tight as she cums right after the first one ends

"Fuck Joanne, baby girl, baby!", I moan, releasing inside of her

The pleasure takes over, making me shake on top of her

God she feels incredible, pulsing and milking me cock for all my cum

When we both finish, I collapse on her again, pulling out

"Good baby girl?", I pant

"Yyy...yes baby. So good", she breathes

"No cramps?"

She shakes her head, "No. No pain"

"Good jagi, I'm glad", I answer, kissing her again

I move to sit up and she reluctantly lets go of me

I know she doesn't want to and she's still scared I'm going to freak out

So in front of her, I look down

There's blood on me

On my dick and pelvis

I just shrug and look at her

She's staring at me with her eyes wide and mouth open

I smile at her and reach out, closing her mouth with my fingers

"It's fine jagi. It doesn't bother me."

I press another kiss to her lips

"I'm gonna clean up ok, then you can after me and we'll watch the rest of the movie. Ok?"

She just nods

Getting up, I walk to her bathroom

Going to the sink, I use soap and water to clean her blood off

When I'm done, I go back into her room, "Your turn jagi"

She looks at me from her bed and nods, getting up and taking the towels with her

After putting my shirt and boxers on, I sit waiting for her and thinking

I really liked having sex with her when she has her period

It's not like I have a thing for blood or anything

It's just that I like helping her feel better

I like making her pain go away and I always love making her cum

I was genuinely happy when she said she doesn't feel any cramps or pain

And since we did it now, I'm hoping she'll be open to doing it again

I honestly don't think we should stop having sex just because she has her period

Especially since I don't think it's a big deal

She comes back with her pj pants back on

Getting her shirt from the floor, she slips it over her head, then sits next to me

"Did you like it?", I ask

She nods, "Yeah"

"Would you want to do it again?"

She looks over at me, "Again?"

"Yeah Jo. The blood doesn't bother me, I think I've shown you that"

She bites her lips, nodding again

"So I think if we both feel like having sex we should no matter if you have your period or not"

"Ok", she answers

I'm a little surprised

I thought I'd have to convince her more

"Yeah?"

"Yeah Yoongi. You made me feel really comfortable about everything and you know I like having sex with you"

I nod

I know she does

Just like I love having sex with her

"So if you want to, we can do it again"

"Ok jagi", I answer, pulling her to me in another kiss

I don't know what it is with me tonight but I can't stop kissing her

When the kiss ends, we pull away and go back to the way we were sitting before

Apart

I hate it

"Ready?", I ask, instead

She nods and I unpause the movie

---------------------------

"That was a cool movie", she says, shutting the tv off, "We gotta watch the other two"

I nod, "Definitely"

The movie was cool

John Wick is a bad ass

I just couldn't concentrate, wanting to just pull her to me and hold her close

Of course I was chicken shit and didn't do it

And now I have to leave

"I guess I should go", I say

"Oh uh...ok", she answers, nervously, "You uh you don't have to. You can stay over if you want"

If I want?

Of course I want

But I can't make myself look desperate

"Yeah ok. I'm tired anyway", I smile

I start getting up from the bed to go to the living room to sleep on the couch

It's where I usually sleep when I stay over

Sometimes I've slept in her bed with her but that's when we both just passed out

It wasn't planned

And I'm not going to assume I'm sleeping in her bed

"Where are you going?"

I stop moving, looking over at her, "To the living room?"

She shakes her head and my heart pounds in my chest

"Stay here. With me"

I swallow hard but nod, "Ok"

"I'm gonna use the bathroom. I'll be right back"

I nod again, still shocked she asked me to stay here with her

She uses the bathroom quickly, then I do, coming back in the room to find her already laying down, under the covers

"Can you shut the light?", she asks

"Sure"

Shutting them off, I get into bed next to her

I don't know what to do with my body

I know I want to cuddle her but I can't

So I just lay on my back, my arms at my side, looking up at the ceiling

It's quiet in the room for awhile with her not moving and just as I think she's asleep, I hear her whisper, "Oh fuck it"

She turns over to me, coming closer and plopping her head on my chest

Her body moves right against mine, her arm around my middle, hugging me

Once my brain reloads from shock, I immediately turn to face her

I pull her right against me, tangling our legs, cuddling into each other

I don't even think, pressing my lips to hers

And to my shock, hers molds right against mine, kissing me back passionately

Her arm moves around my neck, her fingers twirling in my long hair

Slipping my tongue in her mouth, I play with hers, loving every second of kissing her

And I realize I can't do this anymore

I can't pretend

I can't sleep in her arms all night and then pretend like it didn't happen

I can't

Not when she's the one thing I want more than anything

I keep kissing her until we pull away

Then taking a breath and steeling myself for this to blow up in my face, I say, "Jo, I...I want...I want you to be mine"

I hear her breath hitch and I hope that's not a bad thing

"Please Jo. I can't....I can't pretend anymore. I can't do all this with you, sleep with you in my arms all night and then pretend like nothing happened tomorrow. I can't", I rush out, "Fuck Jo, I love you so much. It's fucking ridiculous how much. You're all that's on my mind. You're all I want. I'm so in love with you it drives me crazy not being with you"

I stop talking, knowing I went too far with my confession

I sound like a creepy stalker

"I love you Yoongi"

My brain cuts off from all my thoughts, taking in what she said

And when I do, pure joy hits me hard

"Yeah?", I ask

"Yeah Yoongi. All those things you said about being so in love are what I feel too. For you.", she whispers, "I'm stupidly in love with you Min, Yoongi and you do not have to pretend anything anymore. I'm yours. I'm always yours"

Pressing my lips to hers, I kiss her fiercely, so happy she's mine

"I'm yours jagi. Always. Forever. Just yours", I tell her, "I love you Jo"

"I love you Yoongi", she says, kissing me

We kiss for awhile, just getting lost in each other and I'm so excited for more nights just like this, wrapped in my jagi's arms

[everydayshalloween]

eleanor of aquitaine, both husbands, kids from both marriages, and any grandchildren you prefer <3

Aight that is indeed a lot of people...LET'S DO IT :D They'll be pretty short bc that's a lot of people

Eleanor of Aquitaine:

-One hell of a sarcastic woman, everything she says usually bleeds sarcasm (her daughter Matilda is equally just as sarcastic)

-Somehow has the patience to put up with her kids' dumbassery

-T A L L W O M A N (very tall I don't make the rules)

-Says she loves her kids equally, but prefers her daughters (and Richard) more

-Remember how I said Empress Matilda is intimidating? Meet her equally intimidating daughter in-law

Henry II:

-Poor guy misses half of his wife's sarcasm and then immediately turns to stare at her like "wait a god damn minute"

-"I don't know where my sons got the idea of teenage rebellion from-" Has family members who are the living definition of teenage rebellion

-While his wife is tall af, he's actually pretty average. So their children range from tall to short.

-"I had a bad day and will now proceed to make it everyone's problem :)"

Louis VII:

-Well y'know, one day you're married and have 2 beautiful daughters and the next day you're a single dad

-Tries his best to be a dad, but let's be real dad wasn't part of the job description

-Watches the absolute chaos that is his ex-wife's new family with a bowl of popcorn

-Pretty much a girl dad because that's what happens when you have 5 daughters

Marie of France (the eldest):

-On pretty good terms with her half-siblings on both sides, but holy SHIT is it tiring to be the eldest on both sides

-Pretty chill mom (four kids are easy to manage)

-Geoffrey would probably be her favorite brother. As for favorite sister? She won't say anything.

-Actually has a little bit of sass in her, she just doesn't show it.

Alix of France:

-Way to happy to be here

-Much like her older sister, she's a pretty chill mom; however, 7 kids is a lot more work than 4 kids

-Tougher than she looks with an added bonus of some of her mother's sarcasm

-Her and Eleanor, Fair Maid of Brittany would've gotten along SO well. She would've been the BEST aunt hands down.

William of England (the baby):

-Baby

-Absolute baby

-That's it send tweet

Henry the Young King:

-Best big brother...but only to his younger sisters. His brothers can go suck an egg half the time.

-I feel like he totally could be like his mother if he wanted to. Just to piss his father off.

-Him and Matilda are the number one sibling duo they do everything together

-Him and Margaret of France? Best friends to husband and wife. You can't convince me otherwise.

Matilda of England:

-Looks like her mom, acts like her mom. (Mom loves it, dad hates it. Grandma however gets a kick out of it)

-100% done with her siblings' shit

-Probably told the Holy Roman Emperor to fuck off after giving birth to her third kid.

-Absolutely 100% done with that guy's shit too btw.

Richard the Lionheart:

-His mother absolutely adores him as much as his sisters

-Him and his wife have a somewhat healthy relationship that's much better than his parents (I said what I said) however, they're more friends than a married couple

-Him and his sister Joan are the MOST CHAOTIC PAIR IN THE WHOLE FAMILY

-Stopped giving a fuck by the time he was a teenager (that was a GREAT decision)

Geoffrey II, Duke of Brittany:

-He's the sibling who has dirt on anyone and everyone who fucked with him

-Would have a mug that says "#1 Dad" let's be real. He'd also be the type of dad who shows off photos of his kids bc he's so proud.

-Probably the only brother with a marriage effective in both the management and family life departments

-"Of course I'm friends with Dad's enemy's son and Richard's maybe-boyfriend. What's the worst that could happen?" Famous last words-

Eleanor of England, Queen of Castile:

-Named after her mother, acts nothing like her

-Would probably cry if someone yells at her

-Best mom ever (her and Geoffrey would probably just talk about their kids for hours)

-"We just have a few kids, nothing too bad." Has more than "a few" kids

Joan of England:

-Looks like her dad, acts a LOT like her grandmother and mother

-Takes NO shit from anyone (probably called the king of Cyprus a bitch after her and her sister in-law shipwrecked and he captured them)

-Remember how Joan's mom is tall and her dad isn't as tall? Well...Joan's short. Very short. Which adds to the chaos levels.

-The amount of S A S S this woman radiates

King John (the youngest):

-Probably gets picked on for being the baby of the family

-"Yes I know I married a 12 year old. What about it?"

-I would say good uncle since several of his siblings had kids, but *gestures to the whole mess with Geoffrey's kids*

-Tried to be a good dad, but y'know

And now...some of the MANY grandkids...

Berengaria, Queen of Castile:

-The apple of her parents' eyes and the eldest

-Best big sister best big sister BEST BIG SIS-

-Best mom as well

-Has no idea what kind of stuff her family's on

Eleanor, Fair Maid of Brittany:

-Her parents' baby (until her sister was born)

-Would absolutely give her uncle and cousin hell for what they did if they weren't kings (and if her dad hadn't beaten her to it)

-Would've adored her half-sisters from her mother's third marriage

-Something tells me she probably would've adopted some of her dad's behaviors (because that's the Plantagenet way)

Arthur I, Duke of Brittany:

-I've made several posts about him, so...coolest big brother ever. He lets his little sisters sit with him in meetings.

-Probably acts a lot like his mother, but has a bit of the anger that runs through his dad's family

-If him and Philip II of France's daughter Marie had married...I'm predicting a possible power couple right there.

-He would've been a great king god damn it John-

Joan, Queen of Scotland:

-Hopeless romantic 100%

-Gets along with her brothers so well, it almost rivals Henry the Young King and Matilda

-Is very much like her aunt Eleanor, she will cry if someone yells at her

-Tries not to pay attention to her shitstorm of a family

Marie of Champagne, Latin Empress:

-The younger daughter and namesake of Marie of France, she is the spitting image of her mother and acts almost exactly like her.

-Absolutely adores her two daughters despite the small amount of time she had with them.

-Her husband is head over heels in love with her, but she wishes he would just...calm down a little bit.

-Got along with her siblings for the most part

[khaleesiofalicante]

So, again a lil late, but here I am!! You know? I read the chapter the same day you posted it. I put my notes simultaneously. I even woke up early for some weird reason!!! And I forgot to send the ask...I cant with myself😂

Hallo!!  Ich bin zurück, um wieder verletzt zu werden💙

“It’s dangerous, obviously. But also, crazy.” “Didn’t you try to do necromancy?” (there is not hierarchy of clowns when they all entretain the same circus...)

JACE NO!! 😭 The letters!!!

"Alec. The one thing that had always mattered." Ouch.

"Blue eyes that were now tired and worn and were threatening to shut permanently" Thanks! I didn't need a reminder :)

"He remembered a time when both Max and Rafe had been small enough for Jace to put them in duffle bags and sneak them out to missions. Now they had grown up. And growing up sucked. It got people hurt." I dont know why....but this hit hard...

"Love made you a reckless fool." LBAF! Well, almost 😂

Parabatai feels win again💙

Every time I hear that David is gone, it feels like the first time cause its just🥺😭

“If we pay someone else to do it, it means our lives are more valuable just because we have more money to spare,” Jace explained. “So, even if we could do that, we shouldn’t.” (And we love you for that honey!!)

“Max, I already kidnapped one son,” Jace pointed out. “If I take the other, Alec might actually kill me.” (yeah, sounds like a good reason...)

“First, breakfast,” Jace grinned. “Then I go raise Raziel.” (My man has his priorities straight!! Kinda..)

Roman is jsbdjsjsb🥺

“Does it turn into a sword? Like in Percy Jackson?” (Also my fist thought😂)

I feel the device is going to be important at some point...

“I have more pens back home,” Roman said. “If I had known, I would have brought all of them.” (they are so cute and a perfect team and in this essay I will....)

💙THEM💙

“I’m basically 16,” Georgia said, who was totally 15. (Getting Alec Vibes... 😂)

CAMILA IS A QUEEN!!

“No. I ate it.” “Why the fuck?” (Why not right?)

"I think you are my favorite shadow police yet," I'M LOVE THEM✨

HOLY SHIT THIS CAN HELP MUNDANES!! YESSS

"Stupid self-sacrificing idiot,” Like father like son (which father? I DONT KNOW)

No, no no. She can be dead right???

Anjali....

YES. SHE IS A BADASS GODNESS EVEN WHEN SHES ABOUT TO DIE!!

"I told you the Angel won’t let us down.” “Um,” Roman said awkwardly. “There is something you should know about that.” Lmaoo😂

That right!!! They are finally getting shit done and I love them!!!

OH SHIT. ALEC KNOWS...

"Alec had punched him then, not holding back. And then he had hugged Jace tightly and told him everything was going to be okay." I'm confused but honestly I dont care💙

"His eye was still badly bruised. He hadn’t used an iratze, which usually meant he was sorry." 🥺 also, Magnus wanting to kill him is so funny for some reason 😂

“So, don’t give Jace shit,” Isabelle said. “You are just as dumb. I have two idiots for brothers!” (I mean thats not new Izzy...)

“Lightwood women are something else.”YES THEY ARE!!

"She had Izzy’s mind and Simon’s heart. But she reminded him so much of Max" Hdjdrlob its so true its not even funny anymore 😭

“I got you,” Magnus whispered and squeezed his hand. 💙💙💙💙

This is going oddly ok.... I dont trust this...

"But Alec had hoped that one day he would get to chat about love with his children. He wanted to know about that part of their lives." I feel personally attacked...

Sizzy its so proud of their daughter!!!

“YAS!” Emma yelled from the back. “Go, Team Lovehollow!” Alec pointedly ignored that. (No, no...let her speak!!)

“Maybe he is an anti-vaxxer too,” “Gabriel, shush!” (I laughed harder than i should 😂)

BITCH. THEY ARE SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!

Yup. I told you things were going too good to be true...

“Show some fucking gratitude.” YESSS

“We demanded justice!” another shadowhunter stood up. “Our law was broken.” “My son is dead,” Alec snapped. “Is that justice enough for you?” (IM IN THE MOOD TO STAB SOMEONE!!)

I want to quote many things here, but I'll just leave it to: HELL YEAH MARYSE!! HATE EX-COHORT MEMBERS!! I JUST WANT JACE TO PUNCH THAT ASSHOLE!! MAGNUS SHOULD PORTAL THEM TO HELL!! AND HOLY SHIT YES ANJALI. SHOW THEM HOW ITS DONE!! MY GIRL AINT TAKING ANYONES SHIT!!

“Bro, I am not sure if we can girlboss our way out of this one.” Me neither...

Ah shit. Here we go again....

Would just like to point out that every conversation between Mina and Max is amazing 😂😂

“Your brother has been separated from your family long enough. It is time for him to go. And it must be done properly. It’s a basic right – criminal or not.” I'm...surprised...still simping tho....

David kept it in his wallet!! 🥺

"But like most things in his life, this too had to be a spontaneous and half-assed trip." Can relate

Lightwood-Banes be like: ✨The masculine urge to go to Edom and get yourself killed✨

THE SCENE!!! THE FUCKING SCENE!!! IS HERE!!!!

Wow. That. Everything. What? Honeslty I couldn’t quote anything cause I was too busy trying not to scream and shaking but...

“We don’t trust you, Max,” dad said, walking to the door. “You broke our trust when you tried to do necromancy.”

But they didn’t know. They didn’t understand the emptiness he felt inside himself. The terror.

But here he was, sitting inside the pentagram, half-way to hell, and he had no magic to defend himself.

Fucking killed me. Honeslty I dont know why I'm surprised anymore :) Shit just got real like 15 chapters ago and hasnt chilled out since then...

Wie auch immer, bis bald.  Und Pass auf Dich auf!!<33

I thought it was Finnish!!! Damn, I keep losing this game(?)

I love your live blogs so, so much. Thank you sending them even after this time!!!

Also THIS ABSOLUTELY KILLED ME YOU HILARIOUS BEAN OMG -

Lightwood-Banes be like: ✨The masculine urge to go to Edom and get yourself killed✨

[mysecondcarisa67chevyimpala]

Exactly!!!! They 100% act like they're self righteous but like hello??? There's like a bunch of people who would also literally die for them and they're just like "oh cool!! It's whatever- they can die cause it won't be us right? And let's not bring them back but holy shit Sam died guess we gotta destroy the world to bring him back" - friend nonnie. (I'm in complete belief that Case deserved better. Cause the inches years are stupid and he does everything for them)

I love Cas so much and I have this conversation with my little brother a lot, as much as I love this show and will until I die, the writers only care about Sam and Dean and they only care about each other (since you said current watch I’m assuming you have seen farther than six if not sorry I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone!) Ash, Ellen, and Jo: ash died in the fire and jo was hunting and Ellen was out at the store okay so we got to “fake deaths” idk what to call them we learn they aren’t dead but ash is dead and no one ever says anything! Until they need him in heaven and while they are there they talk to Pamela which we never hear about after she dies and then she’s gone, then when Ellen and jo die we never hear about them again until the titanic episode with Balthazar (and maybe some other visions or something I think?) and then they are gone again. I was gutted when Charlie died as a queer female I loved her she was a very relatable loved character and she died in a bathtub, after running from people on her own she died when she’s needed to die for them, Dean blanes himself but then the show moved on and it’s like she never mattered again. Bella: I loved her actually she was a very honest character she deserved to have her parents killed (like really they were gross) and she decided to make the best of what she got and then because she was a little girl and tried to fix it, she made a deal then she tried to compromise to save herself and Dean let he die. Dean also killed the mom (I can’t remember her name she was a monster and when her son got sick she fed her kid fresher stuff but then Dean killed her because she was a monster) but said he wouldn’t and that had no consequences he killed someone because they “might do something again”, then the whole thing with Jesse! He decided to disappear and now that Lucifer is dead he doesn’t have powers and now he’s alone in Australia (unless he talked to his parents but how does he explain getting there or what happened all those years!) they don’t care. Bobby is one of my favorite characters he’s a father figure to me and no one cares about him. There’s an episode on it where he tries to eat something (pie maybe? Or cobbler idk) from his neighbor and he can’t because everyone is asking for something from him and it’s like very relatable that everyone wants something from you without giving something or even checking in without needing something (which is why I loved the poker game aging episode because we see Dean and Bobby talking bitch that was the only time I really remember someone talking to him without it being hunting related. Another thing is when Bobby died and Garth tried to help people Dean yelled at him to stop being Bobby and said that other people knew Bobby too (or something similar to the extent of other people needed Bobby not just you) and I sorta was like man I hope Dean had realized that before hand but idk if he did.

All of the angels got fucked over: Samandriel, Castiel was brainwashed and he wasn’t helping after the artifact was sold, Gadreel, sacrificed because his ark to help Dean was done which sucked because he just wanted to prove himself, Balthazar, man I like him and I was sad he died just like personally sad he wasn’t just a helper and was a very dynamic and loud character and I feel like he got shot down because they couldn’t use him, Castiel, he was introduced and was supposed to “fly away” and leave but then they kept misha around had the whole ark with the Claire getting possessed by him and then jimmys whole thing and then they realized they made him too powerful because they thought it was a little time ark and then had to nuke him because he could have just fixed everything, Gabriel, where do I even start with him I love him so much, as a person with an older brother (and older cousins who acted like siblings due to how we grew up) I was always picked on my cousin is two or three years older than me but acts like she’s amazing at everything (even though she didn’t graduate) and was used to hearing everyone argue all the time to each other, about other stuff, about family stuff, literally anything. So I really related to Gabriel and I was so sad when he had everything happen to him like I can’t even go into it right now because I’ll be sad, Michael, Michael really does reflect Dean, self righteous and feeling the need to do everything (they found a way to put Lucifer in the cage and he said he needs to fight him because god said if that’s not Dean Sam and john idk what is) and honestly I felt for him and I wished we got more of him, and I know no one wants this but Lucifer, I love how he plays by his rules and doesn’t let anyone tell him that’s wrong or anything, so the opposite of Dean and sorta like Sam (with the demon blood being the exact opposite of what he was told to do by Dean and he did it anyway) and I feel like if the show worried more about better character than only on Sam and Dean it would have been better.

Idk I love the show but sometimes I’m like that’s out of character for them (like Adam wasn’t even a thought for them ever they forgot until the fucking play) and then I’m just like I don’t know what they change so much to fit the episode and I’m just tired of getting sad every time someone dies and happy (then sad) when ever someone that I love *might* come back, then probably die again but whatever l. I could write more but idk I have more characters that deserved better but whatever.

[waketfuprightnow]

What's one thing you guys like about your characters?

Cinna is overly pretty

That's something we can all agree on

I had to glare at Charlotte once for a scene and she s-short circuited and f-forgot what she needed to say

I think Char's just into tall people

That would explain so much

Fuck you too. Anyway, Char is a fucking gremlin and being in character is so amusing

She has annoyed every male character at least once, directly and indirectly

OH MY GOD I FORGOT. I remember they had my change my script for the first time line when I first met Alroy because it was too mean

I read over it and I was taken aback—

I would've loved to see Char roast the shit outta him. Anyway, I'm glad Orion is the way he is because he doesn't have a love interest

SHIP SAILING RITUAL— Who even likes Orion?

No one, that's why I'm fucking vibing in the background a majority of the time

I like that Jason is a completely sane person who doesn't use a weapon

I don't like anything about Nash, he's terrible

....A lot of people like everything about Nash

I'm tired of seeing edits of myself—

I hate everything about Azzy, being in character as him makes me so anxious

The screenwriters didn't like Azzy, that's why

LIKE WHO SAID HE HAD TO WEAR A WHITE SUIT AND DRINK TEA ALL THE TIME

...At least he has some sort of vision

Maybe they just hate me

Atlas fucking sucks. He has no game, his bigass wings keep falling, and he always has a stick up his ass

....And they made me shave for the role

The fact that you enjoyed your body hair is crazy to me

I look like a baby with long white hair

Why did they dress him like that—

He dresses like a twink

*Charlotte whispers something in her ear*

I could get you fired.

WOAH I'M SORRY HOLY FUCK—

I like that Aqui reminds me of Runa from Kakegurui

I'm so ready for t-the scene where—

DON'T TALK ABOUT IT

I-I don't like much about Jay

I like Sin's outfit but I can never clip my corset right—

Sin has like a whole breastplate on over her shirt

[peachpitmp3]

i- oh my gOD bestie, words cannot encompass how much i love your words (yes, this is. definitely coherent /s)

"like, you give me your name and i’ll never forget it." HHH NFJXMC THE NO STALGIA AND VIBES /pos i love that sentence so much. that,, sums up the perfection and sadness and wonder of the last days of elementary school so well!!

nostalgia sure is something. like,, i think about these memories and times, and i miss that. everything was so simple then. but then! i think about all the new friends i've made, and how different i am. i mean,, here i am. sitting at my computer and typing this out. i'm talking to someone, layers and layers away from being face to face, and yet it feels so- i don't even know. i just know that i will remember these nights and long paragraphs typed out, for both the internet and only one other person to see. and on one hand, it's a little odd to think that people can see and interact with my thoughts, all typed out in one neat little tumblr ask. on the other hand, this is so cool. it's like simon vs the homo sapiens agenda, but make it even mORE QUEER (it is pride month after alll fsjdlkfj) and more,, 2021. also platonic /gen /lh

books that shaped me: percy jackson. i was just so in love with the idea of belonging in a certain kind of way. it also took up a lot of my childhood, and honestly, i do think about all of the books and other series' (series? series's??) fairly often. i would say harry potter, because it did impact the way that i spent a lot of my time, but also. jkr sucks. rick riordan is not great either, but the thought of supporting jkr is so wrong at this point. this one is random, and i honestly did not realize how much it shaped who i am, but the eighth day. the idea of having another day, just to myself, was something that i thought about so much. and now, time travel is my go-to for anything. i wanted to freeze time, and be able to control time, so badly. and to a certain extent, i still do. but it does not lurk in the front of my mind nearly as much as it used to fjskldjf

would you say you took on any personalities from fictional characters, or even irl people? which characters, and which traits? and how long did it take you to realize that those were going to be a part of you/were not a part of your identity that you kept? - 🌵

bestie i am SO sorry for the late response holy shit. i have been so so so tired all day but i'm gonna answer this before i go to sleep.

gosh literally. the way i don't know you, i literally don't know your name or your blog or your face or anything but i know what you've told me, and that's enough for us to make a connection, and to have so many conversations and words and questions shared. adsjkfasjdfsldfj yes platonic svthsa <333

bestie minor confession i didn't read percy jackson until like a couple years ago. rip. yeah okay... harry potter is a thing. cause like. it impacted me massively growing up. like, i read it for the first time in first grade. first. grade. and it just. had a huge effect, but now i feel so fucking guilty about that. like, how could i let it shape me and even help me grow in some ways when it has such harmful associations, yknow? whatever.

oooh time travel? that's so interesting actually. it's such a terrifying concept, something that can so easily spin out of control, but it would be so helpful, even for the most mundane things lmao.

hmm okay i think i take on personality traits from everyone i meet. if i see something in someone else, i try to soak it up and be like that too. some of it is probably rooted in some insecurity or something but hey! you're not my therapist and we don't need to get into that. anyway, fictional characters. god, i absolutely loved hermione growing up. but i think my favorite character was luna for the majority of my childhood? like, maybe it was just the "weird kid" in her that i connected to, or something, or maybe it was me not wanting to be like "other girls" when they dressed up like hermione and i staunchly refused to. i don't know. honestly, it's hard to pinpoint what specific traits i picked up but i think from hermione i tried to pick up the idea that sometimes, even if you respect authority, they're wrong and you have to go against them, and it's okay to do that. and also just like, it's okay to not always put school first even if that's what you're used to. i dunno. bleh. okay uh. my brain is not working. OH. also!!! mysterious benedict society shaped my brain MASSIVELY. i loved that series. my favorites were reynie and constance, reynie just cause he was always so... reasonable, and so charming and friendly and so himself and so likeable and i wanted to be like that... and then constance because she was just so obstinate and so powerful despite her age and it was just. real fun to read her scenes. i don't know lmao.

i'm getting my second vaccine tomorrow so i might seriously be out of it for the next couple of days, so if you wouldn't mind sending questions that are kinda lowkey? or just like, easy to answer, yknow? no psychoanalysis or real thoughts necessary sdlfjsldfjslf

your questions (answer whichever ones you want): in what weather, if any, would you enjoy wind? also, have books or tv shows/movies shaped you more, and which books/tv shows/movies or characters or plots or whatever? is there any sort of theme that you notice when you're looking back on the plots of things you used to enjoy, or characters you used to love?