#holiday season we do a special holiday set with multiple different winter holiday things not just christmas

[nexus-nebulae]

want to start an entertainment experience business where i safely & legally "mail" people (put them through the experience of getting packaged and shipped to a new location). business card says "get mailed idiot" at the top

[we-love-imagines]

Christmas Countdown Day Four: Frosty

During a very rough Holiday season, Giorno makes your first snowfall special.

Warning: Part 5 Spoilers, very canon divergent, some angst before the fluff!

Ao3 Link

Where you come from, snow was a rarity at best. The air would grow cold during the winter, and the wind would blow a bit harder- but ultimately, snow never came. This always soured the holiday season for you, seeing the TV specials with Rudolph and Santa just made you feel bad. You’ve always wanted a white Christmas, but sometimes, the world wasn’t fair.

Until you met Giorno.

The mafioso himself didn’t have a good history with the holidays, either; his family life was rough, and that really stung during this time of year. It wasn’t until he joined the gang until he’d gotten a proper Christmas present. He’d never admit it to you, but he shed a few happy tears that night alone in his room. Bruno knew most of the members of his gang didn’t have a family to return to during the holidays, so he made sure everyone got a gift and a nice, warm breakfast on Christmas morning.

When Giorno joined, you’d already been apart of the gang for two years, you being one of the earlier members. You always looked forward to Christmas with Bruno, and when the newer members came along, you insisted on helping him get gifts. That escalated into essentially being co-party planner; you helped make breakfast, put up decorations, and with everything else that needed doing.

Last Christmas was a lot of fun, you remember. You and Bruno outdid yourselves, the villa you were all sharing full of bring lights and tasty food. You couldn’t believe your eyes, but Abbachio was caught smiling on multiple occasions, and Narancia looked so happy when you got him the newest Tupac album he wanted so badly.

That was their last Christmas.

After everything that happened with the boss, your happy little family was now three members short. As everyone grieved, you and Giorno found comfort with each other, eventually connecting enough to start going steady, but by no means were you okay. The remaining team members, now including Trish, were planning on spending Christmas morning at the villa- but when you arrived there a few days before to start decorating, you realized you weren’t ready to go back yet.

Using his immense wealth as the new Don of the mafia, Giorno decided everyone involved in the Boss’ fiasco needed a well-deserved break, and payed for everyone to stay at a secure cabin in Switzerland for a few days. Everyone was excited, and when you arrived, everyone took some much needed time to unwind. There was a bit of a divide-and-conquer mentality among the cabin’s patrons, each person retreating to a different corner of the structure so they could get some much needed peace and quiet. However, you and Giorno tended to stay together, taking the time to enjoy each other’s company before work started up again.

After a day or two, you began to feel a little blue. It was nice to live with Mista and Fugo again, but you missed them so much. They would have loved this. Narancia would have loved to go skating in town, and Abbachio would’ve wanted to taste the local cuisine. You could practically picture Bruno right now, all swaddled up in his tacky holiday sweater setting up his little nativity scene in the kitchen. He was always kitschy like that.

“Amore, are you alright?” Giorno asked you, pulling you out of your thoughts. You were completely phased out, taking in the surroundings you forgot you were in. Giorno had his arm wrapped around you as you both watched the TV, a fluffy blanket lazily draped over you as the chilly air in the living room surrounded you.

“I’m okay,” you murmured, swallowing the sad feeling in your gut, “I’m just- thinking about them.”

He nodded at your words, his brows knitting as he slightly held you a little tighter.

“...Bruno always loved this time of year, huh?” he spoke gently, selecting his words thoughtfully as not to upset you. Knowing how volatile you could be whenever they were mentioned, he always tried his best to speak with you calmly rather than get apologetic. 

“Christmas was our thing,” you smile slightly, thinking back to your beloved leader, “I’ll never forget your face when we gave you that present. It took forever to wrap.”

“Y’know, I kept the bow,” he grins at you as you get a warm feeling in your chest, “It was too nice to be tossed away. I could tell you worked really hard on it.”

“You’re so cheesy sometimes, Giogio!” you lightly tease, a small laugh escaping your lips before your mind sank back to your fallen friends. 

“Did I ever tell you about my first Christmas with Passione?” you asked him with a sigh, Giorno taking your hand as he shook his head.

“It was just me, Bruno, and Fugo back then,” you began, remembering the quiet night the three of you shared, “Me and Fugo were just clueless kids Bruno picked up off the street, we wouldn’t even meet Leone for another month or so. It was a nice evening, we all ate dinner together and watched Frosty the Snowman.”

You couldn’t hide the smile on your face as you continued, “At some point during the movie, Fugo started complaining on how it never snowed in Naples. Apparently his family had a private ski lodge somewhere, and he missed the heavy snow. When I told the two of them I had never seen snow before, Fugo called me ignorant.”

“You haven’t?” he mused, a little smile creeping in his face, “Haven’t seen snow, I mean?”

“Not even once,” you shrugged, “But Bruno promised me he’d make a snowman with me. He’d always keep a spare scarf and hat by the door just in case.”

Finally meeting Giorno’s gaze again, your sad eyes met his mischievous ones. You wanted to be mad at him- you were clearly upset, while his face seemed pleased- but when you turned around to see what he was looking at, you nearly screamed.

Through the living room window, you could see little snowflakes gently falling toward the ground, which had quickly blanketed into a thick sheet of snow. Jumping off the couch like a child, you scampered over to the window, pressing your hands up against the window. Unable to stop yourself, you reach for the door, letting in a crisp breeze as you fling the door open. Giorno calls out to you from the couch, but you couldn’t hear him.

Running down the steps of the porch, your nose already turning red, you shakily reach a hand out as you let the little snowflakes land into your palm. You’re surprised at how quiet it is; the pitter-patter you expected was absent, only the sound of your breathing and footsteps behind you.

“You forgot your coat, (y/n)!” Giorno laughed, sliding a thick, wooly jacket over your shoulders. You don’t turn around to look at him, but you hear a happy sigh escape his lips as you adjust the garment around you.

When he clears his throat, you finally turn to face him, your eyes lighting up as you see a familiar hat and scarf in hands. You gasped, bringing your hands up to your face as you tried to fight back little tears.

“I remember Bruno telling me about his little promise last Christmas,” he admitted, letting you take the old, raggedy scarf in your hands, “Seeing as this is Switzerland, I got a feeling you’d need them.”

You practically leapt at him, holding him close as the snow swirled around you. In retrospect, you should have thanked him in that moment, but no words were exchanged; you didn’t have to say anything, because he knew this meant more to you than anything else.

You loosened your grip on your lover before giving him the brightest smile he’d seen since last Christmas.

“Shall we?”

You two made a simple, yet charming little snowman in the yard that day, thinking on how they would have loved this. Watching over the two of you, they certainly did.

[silyabeeodess]

FusionFall Holiday Headcanons:

Between the holidays we know irl like Christmas and Kwanza and the cartoon-specific holidays like Low Tides Day, things can get really hectic in the world of FusionFall when they all come around.  This list is also gonna get crazy enough with just Christmas-focused things in mind, so I’ll largely be keeping to that for now:

During Aku’s reign, certain mortals and magical beings worked together to preserve their holidays and traditions against the Shogun of Sorrow’s tyranny.  The last thing Aku would want is for people to have their celebrations of hope and goodwill, so he worked hard to try to snuff them out--thankfully without much success.  As a result though, many holiday figures did have to go into hiding, and some even set up heavy defenses to protect themselves from whoever Aku would send after them, like the Elf Strike Squad. 

Another measure to ensure the holidays would last was by having multiple individuals pose as said holiday figures, like Santa. Therefore, you may find one Santa at the North Pole and another at Mt. Whitehead (not to be confused with Mt. Blackhead, as it was a separate, snowy mountain seen in the Camp Lazlo holiday special).  This shared identity also allows them to reach more people, and many will network to cover different parts of the globe.  Should one fall short on their work, however, it can still cause trouble for the group as a whole.  While they avoid outsiders, they’re not against getting help when they need it.     

Mr. Jingles from the Ben 10 holiday special was one of the people working to preserve the holiday back in the 1930′s, and was close friends with his “Santa.”  His team, however, was one of those targeted by Aku and he ended up being one of the few survivors--cursed to live in a pocket in time to wait for people who would never return to conduct their successful Christmas.  This pocket dimension and the machine that helped maintain it would gradually corrupt anyone who entered, resulting in most of the “elves” and their lost memories as well as Mr. Jingles broken state of mind up until the Tennysons arrived.    

The two most popular holidays around winter time are Christmas and Knishmas.  However, while there are different “Santas” hiding out in the world, there’s only been one Knish Kringle seen thus far.  Since he runs his holiday so differently and can be aggressive when he doesn’t get his way, he tends not to get along with most of the Santas.       

Poseidon kinda just volunteered his own men to help out by coming up with Low Tides Day, but also wanted it run on his own terms.   

There are some holidays like Edipan and Animas that can happen at different points of the year, Edipan due to it being a magical, “moving” holiday and Animas only occurring during the hottest day of the year (which members of the animal kingdom instinctively know, although whether it’s something based on region or globally wasn’t stated in the MGPaM special).  It tends to be an added stress when they hit during the winter season alongside the others.

Most of the holiday leaders are glad that they can breathe easier without dark forces like Aku or the Liche trying to ruin their work for the time being. Fuse is still a concern for them: It’s just that they tend to live in such isolated locations that--overall--the global spread of fusion matter hasn’t really touched them.  They mostly keep to what they’ve been doing, hoping that by sticking with that they know, they can continue to spread good morale and a sense of normalcy across Earth.    

If you’re a Fusion Fighter, 99% of the time, you’re guaranteed at least something for the holidays.  It might be a piece of equipment or you might only get one thing--because they recognize you’re putting you’re life/soul on the line for Earth even if you’re not technically on the “nice” list by your Santa’s standards-- but you’ll get something. If you’re actually “naughty,” that something just might also come with a written warning for next year. Those that celebrate Knishmas get a pass since all they have to do is remember to get a Shmingerbread House.

Princess Morbucks still gets coal.  Getting off the permanent naughty list is extremely difficult, and she hasn’t made much of an effort to change her ways.  

Since nanos are still pretty new, it’s hard to say whether or not a Santa would know to keep them in mind.  As such, it's the IE Donor’s responsibility to mention them in their letter(s) to the North Pole and/or supply their own gifts.  Their size should be kept in mind.         

Some Santas only give gifts to kids, others to all people no matter their age.     

A lot of creatures who came from the Ledgerdomain have adopted Edipan traditions/celebrations.  This includes Hex, who used to celebrate it with Charmcaster as a small way to help them adjust to their lives on Earth.  It was one of their only ‘vacations’ from his quest for power.  

[babyczk]

christmas with you — eh

summary: edwin finds himself stranded on campus for christmas, quickly realizing he isn’t the only one who isn’t able to go home for the holidays

authors note: literally just some fluff (:

•••

the subtle throbbing of music coming through the walls of edwin’s tiny dorm usually wouldn’t frustrate him, but he was already in the grumpiest of moods.

it was christmas eve, a time of year that edwin particularly loved [aside from halloween] but unfortunately for him, he’d been scheduled to work through the holiday season, and there had been absolutely no way he could get his shifts covered to venture back home to the bronx.

he was missing matching pajama sets with his entire family, iconic pictures that would be used as christmas cards in the future, and time away from school and with the people he loved most. it was excruciatingly painful to sit on facetime with his parents and siblings instead of physically being there.

the only good thing was he would be alone in the dorms, figuring that mostly everyone else would’ve left for the winter break. his roommate had, leaving edwin with a bit more space than usual. of course, like everything else in his life, things just couldn’t go his way.

when the music seemed to be growing louder with each passing minute, and edwin had exceeded the volume for netflix on his laptop, he begrudgingly threw off his sheet covers, angrily slipping his feet into slippers.

muttering profanities under his breah, he opened his door and marched the three feet over to the next room. knocking loudly, he waited impatiently on the other side of the door, having every intention of letting his anger out on whoever was about to open it.

the music instantly stopped, edwin hearing rustling from the other side, before the door swung open. his breath halted in his throat, seeing the bouncy curls of adaline summers. jeans rolled up, and sweatshirt sleeves cuffed, her brown eyes held nothing but confusion and question as she stared at edwin.

his mouth was insanely dry all of a sudden, mostly because he shared three classes with adaline, and in each one he found her progressively more beautiful than the last. his friends were constantly teasing him about his middle grade crush on her, but honestly, how could he not find her attractive.

“do you need something?” she asked, leaning against the frame of the door in curiosity.

“uh... n-no. i mean, i just...” edwin stuttered over himself, wishing the entirety of the floor would open up and swallow him whole, saving him from this excruciatingly, embarrassing moment.

adaline blinked, clearly more puzzled then before. “sorry?”

“i just didn’t think anyone was still in the dorms this close to christmas, s’all,” edwin blurted. “music was kinda loud.”

the puzzled expression on adaline’s face quickly turned to horror, followed by immediate regret. she pushed a stray curl away from her face, sheepishly smiling at the dominican boy. “fuck. i’m so sorry. i didn’t think anyone was here either, usually i’d have my headphones in. totally my bad.”

edwin felt a course of pity run through him. clearly, he could’ve stuffed some noise canceling headphones on himself, or maybe gone down to the lounge. he didn’t need to be a buzzkill and shut down her music, but another part of him knew he was only trying to find an excuse because this was adaline summers.

“no, no. you’re fine.”

adaline shook her head. “i swear, if i knew you were on this floor, i wouldn’t have been this much of an asshole.”

“i believe you,” edwin smiled shyly. “i didn’t even know you lived in this room until five minutes ago.”

adaline squinted a little, her eyes raking in one swift movement over edwin’s figure. she knew him from the three classes they shared, and she also knew he was an audio engineering major, sometimes seeing him putting flyers up around the dorms advertising shows he was playing in at local bars or clubs.

“funny, seems like we’re the only two people still on campus for christmas,” she pointed out. edwin shrugged, pulling at the drawstrings of his hoodie.

“kinda sad if you think about it, huh?”

adaline shrugged, kicking her door open a little wider. “only if you think about it. mind me asking if you’re doing anything worthwhile right now, edwin?”

his mouth dried up at the sound of his name coming from her tongue. a sense of pure giddiness at her simply remembering who he was.

“netflix and chilling, mostly. why?”

edwin half expected adaline to wrinkle her button nose in discontent, changing her mind and slamming the door in his face, but instead he was met with her dimpled grin, which might’ve caused severe heart palpitations for him.

“i know the most amazing spot for hot chocolate.”

he furrowed his brows. “aren’t all public restaurants closed right now?”

a mischievous glint reflected in her eyes, causing edwin to swallow thickly. “i might know a way to get in... unless you don’t want to come with me?”

edwin weighed his options. he could either decline and spend christmas eve, alone, burrowed under a plethora of blankets, with his eyes glued to his laptop screen. or, he could agree, and spend what was supposed to be a pity party with a beautiful girl, drinking hot chocolate.

he chose the latter.

adaline beamed. “great choice. lemme grab my jacket and keys, real quick.” edwin nodded, deciding to use that time to grab his stuff from his room as well, practically giddy with excitement as he flitted around the small space, the goofiest smile on his lips.

“ready?” he whirled around to see her leaning against his door he’d left propped open. she’d secured her curly hair in a messy bun above her head, a few tendrils coming down and framing her face. her red puffer was pulled up to her chin, making her look, in edwin’s opinion, the cutest he’s ever seen her look.

he hummed in agreement, the two of them bundled up to brace the cold weather, as they walked side by side through the empty campus. the conversation flowed easily, edwin finding himself having to stop in his tracks multiple times from doubling over in laughter.

“what’s your plan to get this hot chocolate?” he asked.

producing a set of keys from her pocket, she jangled them in front of his face, the mischievous glint still in her eyes. “like this.”

“how’d you get those?”

“i work here,” she said, matter-of-factly. “figured my compensation for closing up last week could come in this.”

“so we won’t get in trouble?”

“not if we don’t get caught.”

edwin gulped, letting adaline fiddle with the keys in the lock. he couldn’t afford to get caught, knowing breaking and entering would probably get him a one way ticket straight out of university, and him being on scholarship meant he had to be on his best behavior at all times. and right now, adaline was making that extremely hard.

the door to the small cafe creaked open, and adaline stood up, a triumphant grin on her lips. pushing herself inside, edwin followed behind tentatively, the rush of warm air hitting him. the lights flickered on, as adaline began taking chairs off of an adjacent table, beckoning for edwin to sit.

“any special requests for your hot chocolate?” she asked, already walking behind the counter.

“you got marshmallows?”

she smiled. “just for you.”

the cafe was cozy, lights strung up around the place, and different christmas decorations on the surrounding tables. edwin relaxed in the plush chair, looking up when adaline came back around with two steaming mugs, each topped with whipped cream and as she promised, edwin’s had marshmallows littering his.

“i’ve been told i’m a hot chocolate expert, y’know.” edwin hummed, letting the warm liquid run through his body. the chocolate goodness was enough to agree with adaline’s sentiment, and she laughed at his expression.

“well, you’ve been told right.” edwin glanced at the clock behind her head, noticing that it was exactly one minute until christmas day. “if someone had told me this was how i was spending my last minute of christmas eve, i don’t think i would’ve believed them.”

adaline raised a brow. “meaning?”

“breaking into a cafe with a beautiful girl, and drinking hot chocolate. probably beats out every other year.”

adaline’s laugh bounced off of the walls, the sound infectious and causing multiple butterflies in edwin’s stomach.

“you think i’m beautiful?”

“maybe...”

adaline leaned forward in her chair, elbows on the table. her fingers ghosted over edwin’s face, tracing over his skin, lingering at the tops of his lips. he was frozen in his seat, too afraid to move and disrupt her movements.

“i think you’re beautiful too.”

she dropped her fingers, much to edwin’s dismay, and before he could open his mouth to respond, she scooted her chair around, to the point where there was only a few inches of space between them.

“can i do something?”

edwin nodded once, curiousity taking over. adaline leaned forward, her chocolate breath waning over his face. instinctively, he closed his eyes, feeling her soft lips capture his softly, as if testing the waters. edwin, always the eager, couldn’t get enough, gripping the side of her face and pulling her in more. adaline smiled against the kiss, pulling away after a few moments.

“merry christmas, edwin.”

•••

in honor of december starting!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 500 FOLLOWERS, I LOVE YOU GUYS. also thank you for dealing with my inability to write lately, cranked this out over the span of a couple of days, and i still don’t know how i feel about it.

[meganshinsou-tm]

Vermilion. (m)

↳ chapter twenty: the moon on a chain

❧ genre:  pro-hero’s bakugou/kirishima, poly, happy ending

❧ chapter warnings: 

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

You walked around the city, boots clicking against the pavement as you clasped your trench coat tighter around your body trying to hide from the windy and chilly air. The colder seasons were your favorite more multiple reasons, the weather in general, holidays, and the colors. You were just a brighter and happier person in those months. As you patrolled the city today though, you were cursing how impractical your hero costume became on these cold days. Today was actually only your second day back on patrolling duty, the past 2 weeks you were stuck on desk duty just like when you first started at the agency. But at your latest doctors appointment, the man cleared you as 100% recovered despite your scars and that meant you could get back in the action, but under one condition.

Working with Katsuki or Kirishima only.

“Freezing your tits off princess?”

A teasing and brash voice spoke into your ear as you felt arms wrapping around your waist, causing you to now walk awkwardly as Bakugou held on.

“Shut up Baka-gou! The thought of being outdoors in freezing weather may have slipped my mind. Now get off, we’re on the job right now! Someone might see and start going nuts,” you replied elbowing him.

“And you think I give a fuck? I wish those fucking leeches would catch us together! Then shit would really hit the fan huh?” He snickered and tickled your sides, referring to an article that was published a week ago of you and Kirishima.

You couldn’t help but giggle. Once you were showing improvements in your recovery the boys got more comfortable with taking you back out into the world. The week before, you and Kirishima went grocery shopping and an off-duty worker for the towns hero magazine happened to catch the two of you being all giddy and in love while on the train. Kirishima was all about PDA, he’d litter your face with kisses, never let go of your hand, held you tight and close to him. The paparazzi worker took advantage of this rare sight and snapped a few pictures, soon news of ‘Red Riot Under Bruja's Spell’ spread across Japan like a plague. Everyone at the agency always poked fun, wondering when someone would catch you and Bakugou together and how much of a shit show that would be.

“You’re such a fucking chick Suki, you just live for drama!”

Rolling your eyes you managed to push the hero off but were soon pulled back and into an alley. Your back was slammed against a wall and Bakugou’s massive arm gauntlets trapped your head. His crimson hues burned into you and a smirk played on his face that was nipped by the cold and pink.

“Is it wrong that I want the world to know that you belong to me as well?” Bakugou cooed before biting down on your cheek roughly.

“Hmm,” you teased, taking longer than he wanted to answer back, causing the male to bite down harder and place a knee between your legs and press it hard against your core. Your fingers dug into the brick behind you and a purr left your lips.

“I’m fucking teasing Suki! Of course it's not wrong, I want the world to know that as well! I see all the girls that drool over you on the street, they still think you’re free real-estate.”

The blonde completely released you, letting his arms fall to his sides and kissed your forehead. He pulled out his phone and looked at the time, a smirk on his face.

“Good answer, I guess we’ll let you have your gifts after all. Now come on, it’s time to head back. We got a birthday to celebrate princess!”

Back at home the three of you took turns with showers and getting ready. You and Kirishima always took the longest when it came to your hair, so Katsuki opted to shower alone and fast while you and Kirishima showered together. The red head washed your (h/c) locks for you, always adding way more shampoo than needed but you never complained. He’d just barely harden his fingers and massage your scalp each time, be playful and try to spike up your hair. Showers with the red-head were always fun and sweet. As he put conditioner on your ends you made small talk.

“I told you guys, I didn’t want to make a big deal about today, but you didn't listen! You even got the entire agency to go out for me with a party!”

“Well when do we ever listen to you mama? This is a day we get to celebrate and spoil you!”

“And how is it any different from every other day with you two,” you chuckled and hummed as Kirishima finished running the product through your hair and wrapped you in his arms, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Alright, you got me there. I know you don’t like birthdays, but this is your first one with us and we’re really excited about it, please just let us do this and if it happens to not be to your liking, then we'll listen next year, okay?”

Kiri’s voice was soft and soothing, and you nodded.

It was true, birthdays weren’t your thing. You didn’t like to think about getting old and to you it was just another day but both of the men had been having this glow about them all day long so they obviously had something exciting planned and who were you to dull that happiness.

“Alright Kiri, I’ll give it a shot!”

After a few more minutes the two of you were out, a towel wrapped around your body and one wrapped around Kiri’s hips. You bent over to wrap a towel around your hair and the man playfully smacked your ass almost making you fall over, always forgetting his strength and apologizing as he grabbed your hips before you could tumble to the ground. Standing up straight again and turning to face him you smiled and put your hands on your hips.

“So, anything special I need to wear?”

Half an hour later downstairs, the two men were fully dressed and impatiently waiting.

“I’m about to go up there, that stupid old hag probably fucked up on the measurements I gave her,” Bakugou growled and shot up from the couch.

“Whoa there, chill man, I’m sure she’s almost done!”

Kirishima laughed catching his friend by the back of his blazer.

Katsuki clicked his tongue, swatting the hand that held him back away and stood at the end of the stairs looking up and leaned against the wall. Bakugou was a mess, all day he played it cool as if he was collected but underneath the date they had in mind for you gnawed at him. The man was a sort of perfectionist, especially when it came to you. He called the place they would be taking you to multiple times, making sure that it was indeed reserved and closed to the public for the night. He made sure that Kirishima in fact brought their gifts there and set them up correctly.

“Bakugou, everything will be perfect, stop stressing man. Remember where we took her for the first date? A goddamn bowling alley! Trust me, she’ll be over the moon for this!”

“I know that idiot! I just don’t want anyone or anything to fuck up her night.”

Kirishima went to reply until he heard a door upstairs opening, both men looked, hearing the sound of heels clicking against the hardwood floors. Both their hearts seemed to beat faster than humanly possible the closer the footsteps got. It felt like the first time they took you out all over again. They both straightened their clothes. Their outfits matched besides their tie colors, both wore black slacks with a black button up shirt underneath black jackets. Kirishima donned a yellow tie while Suki, after 15 minutes of begging from his friend wore a red one. Both of them stood, shoulder to shoulder with their hands in their pockets as they waited for you to descend down the stairs.

“If I’m the only one looking this fucking fancy, I will kill you both!”

Kirishima and Katsuki chuckled with each other and watched as red heeled feet made their first step down. As your ankles started to merge into your calves, black tulle could be seen bouncing with the steps you took. More and more, your body started to come into view and both pairs of vermilion eyes widened and sparkled, jaws were dropped. Looking down to watch your step underneath the amount of tulle, your fingers also held back your bangs from falling into your eyes. A black bandeau type halter wrapped and encased your chest, revealing a more than decent amount of cleavage and exposed shoulders and arms. The men could see your soft mounds bounce as you walked, making Bakugou rethink ever asking his mother to design you an outfit ever again.

A high-waisted black tulle skirt sat perfectly at your hips and hit you mid-calf. Per the men’s request you wore zero jewelry, an odd request at that. It made you feel even more naked in the chest area since your hair was in a top knot. Your eyes finally looked up to the men standing before you and a smile crossed your red lips.

“Aww, don’t I have the two best looking boyfriends in the world!”

Both of your lovers smiled and kissed your cheek as you stood before them, their eyes wondering over every inch of your body. They exchanged compliments with you themselves, making your cheeks blush violently. Apparently Katsuki’s mom had made the dress specially for you and this night. You found it odd that the blonde took your measurements a few weeks earlier, when you asked what he was getting them for he did say that his mother was designing you a dress but it was supposed to be for some hero banquet that was held every winter.

“So, I guess that excuse about a hero banquet was bullshit huh?”

The blonde smirked and shook his head, “No that was true, but we also wanted you to have something special to wear for tonight that you couldn’t find anywhere else. Fucking Mitsuki is getting an ear full tomorrow about this!���

Kirishima took your hand in his, twirling you around and whistling until you spun into his chest, your back flushed into him and his arms wrapped around you tight as he nuzzled your neck, complimenting how well of a job Mitsuki did on your dress. The blonde smirked and took a long step closer to the two of you, placing himself before you. His red eyes dark and gleaming. You felt teeth at your shoulder making you gasp as Bakugou lifted your chin with his finger. The mood in the room quickly changed from light-hearted to sexual in a matter of seconds. It wasn’t fair sometimes having two boyfriends at a time like this, trapped with no way out, not like you wanted a way out though but you did enjoy this outfit and wanted to at least spend a few hours in it before it was torn to shreds and Mitsuki's hard work would be all for naught.

“That old hag did too good of a job, how are we supposed to take you out in this?” Bakugou growled through gritted teeth, his finger now scraping down your breasts as they were pushed together, tracing the curve of the soft and supple mounds.

Kirishima’s sharp teeth dragged down your skin and one of his hands turned your face so he could plant a hot kiss to your lips. Once he broke it, another hand was on your chin, gripping and making you look forward again as Bakugou’s own lips crashed into yours with another hot kiss. You were powerless to them, already melting and feeling arousal pool between your legs.

“Damn this skirt, it’s too long and the waist is too tight for me to slip my hand into. I bet you’re already soaking wet, huh cutie?”

A quiet ‘yes’ left your lips and the two men chuckled as they both left pecks along your neck and shoulders. You were slowly getting sucked into their spells until you realized what this night was about in the first place.

“S - fuck, goddammit! Stop it! You two can wait a few more hours for this, I’m hungry and I want my presents!”

Kirishima laughed, quickly changing his sloppy kisses to sweet ones, Bakugou rolled his eyes and bit your cheek, releasing you with a smirk.

“When we get back home, we get to unwrap a present of our own!”

Before leaving the house you were blindfolded by Katsuki, you growled thinking it was another sexual advance but he assured it was just until they got you to your destination, but that the garment would definitely be used later. They each took one of your hands and walked you outside to a vehicle, both agreeing that you looked way too good for other people to see and refused bringing you on a train.

The whole ride over to wherever the fuck it was you were going was full of you guessing. You guessed DisneyLand, the beach, a few restaurants, the bowling alley that you were banned from, and all kinds of other places only to be met with harsh ‘no’s’. You also had to blindly swat away the men's wandering hands as they both tried to slip them under your skirt or into your top. It was a fun game to them since you lost your sight and would jump each time one of them whispered in your ear or squeezed you.

“We’re gonna have so much fucking fun with you tonight princess. It’ll be like it’s our birthday instead!”

You heard a clap as both Katsuki and Kirishima high-fived each other behind your head, making your eyes roll underneath the black blindfold.

“I’m dating teenagers!”

Only a few minutes later you felt the vehicle slowing down and finally coming to a stop. Your hands flew to the barrier around your eyes but were quickly stopped. Sharp teeth bit at your cheek then were at your earlobe.

“If you so much as touch these without our permission, your cute little ass is going to get it later, understood baby girl?”

Your bottom lip retreated between your teeth as your thighs rubbed together from Kirishima’s words. Another set of teeth were at the opposite lobe, warm breath now fanning both sides. On each thigh a hand was placed and squeezed simultaneously.

“Answer him princess, you know how not using your words only riles us up even more!”

Bakugou’s voice now burned on your skin and you grit your teeth, feeling the heat rising from your core and into your chest as you swallowed harshly.

“Yah! I understand! Now let off!”

Your own hands pushed away their hands and you motioned for them to get out, not sure if you were even motioning in the right direction. Your ears could hear the door opening, cool air rushing in and making you shiver. A warm hand took yours and Katsuki coached you to the edge of the seat, your feet hanging out the door before he grabbed your waist and helped you out. Something wrapped around your shoulders and Kirishima was heard chuckling behind you as you jumped.

“Calm down mama, it’s just my jacket! Take our hands and we’ll get going.”

You did as instructed, holding out your palms to have them taken immediately by a man on each side of you, kisses were planted on your cheeks and they started to walk. When you’d come to steps, the two would instructed you like a child. So far just the journey was fun to you. The three of you soon stopped and a door could be heard opening and you continued to walk again. The air wasn’t as cold and the ground turned from concrete to what felt like flat carpet. You couldn’t exactly place a finger on the smell, it's almost as if there wasn't one.

“Guys, how much further?” You whined.

“Oi, only a few more steps brat! When we say ‘now’, you can take off your blind fold.”

Sighing, you wanted to just start running but knowing your luck, you’d face plant into the ground. Once again you were at a stop as your boyfriends hands left your own and you could feel them leaving. You wanted to take the mask off but remembered their warning and let your hands fall to your sides, grabbing at the tool of your skirt as you whined out their names.

Both men looked on at you, standing in the middle of the massive room clutching your fabric and trying to contain your excitement. They both looked at each other and nodded and announced together.

“Okay, now!"

Your jaw dropped as you took in the surroundings. Miscellaneous types of fish swam around the massive tanks that made up the walls of the room you were standing in the middle of. The only light filling the room was dim, making it feel like you were indeed on the ocean floor. Quickly you walked over and pressed your face and hands to the glass, awing at the gorgeous coral reefs and plant life, the colorful fishes. Until, something dark loomed overhead making you furrow your brows and look up.

“Holy. Shit.”

Above you, gracefully floating along was a massive whale shark. How you didn’t see it in the first place blew your mind. Whale sharks were your favorite ocean animal. You only ever dreamed about seeing one in real life and going into the oceans to swim with one of the gentle giants. They were so beautiful, the underside of their bellies white against the contrasting dark color with white spots on top. Your eyes watched as the shark floated and started to descend lower and even closer into view, your heeled feet quickly walked over to it. Your fingers brushing the cool glass as if you could touch it through the thick barrier.

“That’s a pretty big fish huh?” Kirishima’s voice spoke next to you.

You looked at him with sparkling eyes and he gave one of his famous sharp toothed grins. Touching your cheek, he leaned down to place a soft kiss to your lips.

“This is … I – I don’t have any words. It’s beautiful and it’s perfect!”

“Are you happy?”

Bakugou’s voice rang in your other ear, as he leaned an arm against the glass and looked into the tank, a hand in his pocket. You smiled and lunged to hug him, almost knocking the breath from his chest. He grunted but hugged you back, patting your hair and placing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Of course I’m happy Suki, I’m elated, ecstatic, over the moon, bliss –“

Bakugou placed a hand over your mouth with a chuckle, it was quickly removed and he kissed you just as softly as Kirishima had done, lingering for longer though. His red eyes were open and he saw his friend give him a nod. Katsuki broke the kiss, placing his hands on your hips and slowly turning you around, pulling you into his chest as he hugged you from behind, hooking his chin over your shoulder. You chuckled and looked before you to see Kirishima standing there with his hands behind his back. Quirking a brow you looked from him and to Bakugou, unsure of what exactly they were plotting.

“Ready for your first gift princess?” Katsuki asked, smiling against your skin.

Your eyes lit up and you nodded eagerly, making the two men laugh. Kirishima walked closer until he stood before you pulling out a small flat black box from behind his back. You looked at it closely, it was obviously some sort of jewelry box.

“We know how badly you wish to have the moon and you know if we could it would be yours in a heartbeat, right?”

You nodded in reply and Bakugou's grip around you tightened. Kirishima smiled and his fingers gripped the edge of the box, slowly opening it.

“Well, hopefully this satisfies you for now while we figure out how to get you a real one.”

You grinned and looked to see the red-head completely open the jewelry box, revealing a white-gold crescent shaped pendant with diamonds lining the curve of it. It seemed to sparkle and shine even without being moved.

“Oh w-wow, it’s so pretty. Is it mine?”

Bakugou laughed and released you from his hold as his hands reached out to remove the necklace from the box. Holding it closer his cleared his throat, making you get the hint that he was trying to put it on you. The chain wasn’t loose or tight, almost like a choker and the pendant rested perfectly between your collarbone.

Katsuki moved from behind you and stood by Kirishima, both of them looking over you and grinning.

“Well how does it look?”

“Perfect!” They both blurted out in unison.

You smiled and hugged them both, placing a kiss to each of their lips.

“I love you Katsuki, and I love you Eijirou, these gifts are way more than I deserve and this is really the best birthday I’ve had so far. Thank you so much!”

“Don’t thank us yet mama, you still have one more left from each of us. Let’s go sit down and eat, then you can open those!”

After eating the food that the guys had brought over, you were extremely full and miserable. Your face lay flat on the table as you groaned, rubbing your stomach. It was all Bakugou’s fault, he tried saying that you couldn’t possibly finish the entire steak and sides on your plate and of course not being one to back down from him you emerged victorious while also wanting to die.

“How about some cake?” Kirishima’s voice sang out.

“No! No more, I'm gonna puke!”

Bakugou laughed and pet your head, quietly mentioning something about more presents. Your head perked back up and you smiled. Both boyfriends smirked and sat two small bags on the table.

“These aren't really anything special or as extravagant as the necklace but we couldn’t resist. Open mine first mama!" Kiri so eagerly pleaded.

You smiled and grabbed the red bag, quickly ripping the tissue paper from it. You squealed when your eyes landed on two different Funko Pop boxes. Removing them you couldn’t help but smile. It was a Beast Boy and Raven. To others the small toys may have meant nothing but the guys knew you were a collector of the figures and it was even better because of the pet name the hero called you by.

“Kiri, this is so sweet and perfect! I’m going to put them on their own little shelf.”

Bakugou subtly pushed his green gift bag towards you with a smirk. You smiled and took it, doing the same as before. Your eyes went soft and you placed a hand over your heart. You pulled out yet another Funko and held it to your cheek, smiling wide at the blonde. It was a Gizmo from Gremlins. These two were really pulling out all the big guns with your gifts, making you fear for how Christmas would turn out.

“Suki, I love him! God - thank you guys so much. I’m so lucky to have you, really.”

Kirishima and Bakugou proudly smiled and leaned over to places kisses on each cheek. For the rest of the night, you spent your time marveling at the fish and whale shark again, and talking between your two boyfriends until the two decided it was finally time to end the night and get you home. There was no objection, you honestly were pleased to hear the words. Once in the backseat of the vehicle you were lured into before, you stretched out between the two heroes. Your head rested in Kiri’s lap and your legs in Bakugou’s. Hands massaged your scalp and calves, and quickly you were fast asleep.

Once home neither of the men bothered to try waking you, Kirishima gently gathered your body into his arms and exited the vehicle. Bakugou followed behind and paid the driver. Once at the front door Bakugou fished out the keys and opened it for his friend, they both sighed as they walked through the front door. It had been a big day not only for you but also for them, with having to set up everything on top of work they were pretty worn out themselves.

A soft and high pitched sigh came from your lips as you nuzzled more into Kiri’s chest. Both men looked at you, Katsuki smirked and walked over, his hand petting your hair before he placed a kiss to your cheek. His fingers moved to trace the pendant that laid on your collarbone, even in the dim light it still sparkled.

“I was honestly nervous as fuck that she wouldn’t like this thing,” he softly said as to not wake you.

“Bakugou, I think we could’ve gotten her a macaroni necklace and she would’ve been happy. She’s just that type of person.”

“Tch, we would’ve saved a shit ton of money if we took that route, huh?”

The two stared at you, smiles on their faces as you slept peacefully, Kirishima leaned down to kiss your forehead and shrugged his shoulders.

“She’s worth every single penny though.”

“Damn right she is. Come on, let’s get her to bed, I feel like it’s gonna be a two man job to get that tight ass skirt off of her hips!”

You were carried up the stairs and gently laid down on your bed. Katsuki and Kiri both removed their coats, the red-head took them, placing the garments on the chair in the corner of your room. They both started to work on dressing you down, each took one of your small feet in their hands and removed the red heels. You flinched as Katsuki’s fingers grazed the inner arch of your foot, he chuckled and started to lightly flick the skin with his fingers tickling you more. Your face started to twitch and groans came from your mouth.

They both snickered and snorted, until your leg kicked, almost nailing the blonde right between the legs. Kirishima couldn’t help but let out a laugh as he took the heels and sat them on the ground.

“Little shit, nearly clipped me!”

“Well don’t tickle me asshole,” your sleepy voice suddenly blurted.

The men looked to see you slowly sitting up on your palms and rubbing your eyes. You yawned and rubbed the back of your neck looking at them with a quirked brow.

“Were you just going to let me sleep?”

“Well yeah, why wouldn’t we?” Bakugou asked.

“You two seemed very determined earlier to get into my panties, what happened?”

They looked at each other, Kirishima shrugged his shoulders.

“Uh – I guess we just figured you were tired mama.”

You smiled and moved to sit on your knees, inching towards the end of the bed and looking between both men. Without their coats, both of them had pushed up the sleeves of their dress shirts, showing off their muscular forearms. Their entire torsos looked amazing in the snugly fit shirts along with the pants. Just the sight of them had you quickly brimming with lust, the little dream you had during your power nap also didn't help with the situation.

“I’m far from tired Red. In fact I’m all ready to go, wanna feel?”

You bit your lip, hands running up your thighs and pushing the black tulle back as one of your hands went to disappear underneath it.

“You little fucking minx!” Bakugou smirked as he started to loosen his tie even more.

“Get your cute little ass over here, now!” The red-head gleamed, licking his sharp teeth and holding out a hand for you.

Smiling, you took it as he helped you off the bed. Bakugou was quick to pull your back into his chest and attacked your shoulders with harsh kisses, his canine teeth scraping against your skin. His hands gripped your hips and pulled them back into his own, a sweet groan leaving his mouth. Your hands got to work on un-doing the yellow tie from Kirishima’s neck, his finger hooked under your chin making you look up to him so he could place a rough kiss on your lips. You moaned into his mouth as the man behind you reached his hands around and aggressively groped your breasts and bit down with sheer force on the crook of your neck and started to suck.

Your fingers curled into the button-up shirt and tugged. To undo the obstacles you reluctantly broke the hungry kiss with Kiri, making him resort to kissing your jaw and neck. His tongue darted across your now flaming skin, making you giggle while your fingers quickly undid the buttons of his shirt and pushed the fabric down and off his shoulders. You marveled at the hard and flawless chest underneath, hands running over his pecs and mouth kissing his collarbone. Your hands traveled down and undid his belt in record time and removed it to work on the button of his pants. His own hands were on your shoulders, turning you around to face Bakugou.

“Sorry mama, that’s all you get for now,” Kiri growled into your ear as he and the blonde switched roles. His own razor sharp teeth biting down the back of your neck.

You lips were soon met with Katsuki’s, you could feel the smirk and bit down on his lip harshly, payback for the bite he gave to your neck. He growled out a usual insult but shut up once your hand groped his hardening member over his slacks. Your free hand tugged on the tie around his neck, pulling him closer. Kirishima’s hands lifted and bundled up the tool of your skirt, cool air hit your exposed thighs and his hands were able to find your ass and squeeze roughly. Hardening the tips of his fingers, you could feel them digging into your plump flesh. Your hands worked on removing Bakugou’s shirt the same you did with Kiri’s but you left his tie on.

“You two still have that blindfold?”

“It’s in my pocket cutie, don’t worry we haven’t forgotten about it. We’re just being generous right now, letting you take in the sight of us. We know how badly you wanted to strip us first.”

Your head turned around to kiss Kirishima with a smile.

“You’re so thoughtful Red, use this on me too,” you tugged on Bakugou’s tie making him growl and bite your cheek with a devious grin.

Both men smiled at each other and nodded.

“It’s still your birthday princess, so your wish is our command.”

[alj4890]

And Then I Met You

Part 24

What happens when the one you thought you were meant for turns out to be meant for someone else?

A\N Choices Fan Fiction with characters from The Royal Romance, Red Carpet Diaries, and Perfect Match

Masterlist

A/N Sorry for the delay. With the holidays and multiple bouts of sickness, time got away from me. 

@lxaah11 @alleksa16 @penguininapinktuxedo @blackcoffee85 @stopforamoment  @hopefulmoonobject  @krsnlove   @annekebbphotography   @cora-nova @bella-ca @hopelessromantic1352. @sunflowergirl05 @desiree-0816 @greywitchyshots @lilyofchoices @emceesynonymroll @dr-nancy-house @aworldoffandoms @ab1901  @lolablackwrites  @flyawayboo @i-bloody-love-drake-walker. @trappedinfandoms @kate-mckenzie​

Part 24

"What do you think?" Nadia clasped her hands together and tried to keep still as she waited on the verdict.

Amanda and Thomas stared at their wedding portrait she had created.

"How--" Thomas began

"When--"Amanda said at the same time.

"I worked on it after each social event." She explained. She grinned at Maxwell. "With the help of espresso and cookies, I was able to complete it while you were gone."

Thomas slipped his hand in Amanda's as he continued to study Nadia's view of them.

"Do I really look like that?" Amanda whispered in awe.

"Yes." He tugged her close. "And the way I am drawn looking at you is most accurate."

She smiled softly. "My expression is spot on too."

Maxwell cocked his head to the side and studied the painting. "I can't believe you wouldn't let me look at it as you worked on it."

"It's incredible!" Addison exclaimed.

"What image did you use to paint them so accurately?" Holly asked.

Nadia shook her head. "None. I wanted to paint what I had observed over time."

"It's perfect." Thomas told her.

Amanda hugged the petite artist. "I can never thank you enough. I love it and know that one day my children and grandchildren will too."

Nadia beamed proudly. "I know you eloped and that I should have gone with your house colors, but there was something about that night you two went to the awards ceremony. You both were caught on camera looking at one another as if seeing each other differently. That's why I put you both in those clothes."

"Red carpet moment for Hollywood's noble couple." Ryan teased. "Seems appropriate to me."

"I'm just happy it is ready for the guests to see during the ball tomorrow night." Amanda added. "I intend on encouraging everyone to see it and to use Nadia for all further portraits."

"I'll give the guided tours." Maxwell offered. He pressed a sweet kiss to Nadia's lips. "Everyone needs to see how talented you are."

"You're going to make me cry!" Nadia turned into Maxwell's arms. "Thank you."

"Well, they weren't the only ones busy." Olivia announced. "We worked with Hudson on the theme of your ball."

"You did?" Amanda asked in surprise. She stared at even Drake nodding. "You too?"

"I couldn't escape." He muttered. "Olivia wouldn't allow defectors."

"What is the theme?" She asked.

"Under the Stars." Holly explained. "We thought given both of your new statuses, it seemed appropriate."

"We wanted something like the Two Seasons Ball but they wouldn't go along with it." Ryan explained.

"Everyone knows that Winters and Summers are the best." Chris added with a wink. "Probably would have been even more exposure for the upcoming film."

Amanda laughed. "I will try and plan that for the next ball."

"This is why you are our favorite out of Thomas's wives." Ryan teased.

______________

Thomas waited downstairs for his wife to finish dressing. Addison had arrived earlier and demanded he leave. She had a surprise for the two of them.

His conversation with Drake and Liam broke off when he looked up. The other two men turned to see what had made him speechless.

Addison beamed at his reaction as Amanda walked downstairs in the gown she had created. The royal blue colors of her dress twinkled like stars in a night sky from the many crystals sewn throughout. The gown was different from her others in how, as Addison had deemed it, confidently daring it was with the high slit along her right leg and the low cut bodice. The capped sleeves were hanging past her shoulders as if to tease one into thinking the dress was barely held on her curves so prominently displayed. Her hair was piled in a loose bun with stray curls brushing along her neck. Her great grandmother's blue diamond necklace graced her throat while a blue diamond cuff rested on her wrist.

Thomas pushed past the two men and met her at the bottom of the stairs. 

Her lips curved softly at him. She dipped into a curtsy. "Your grace."

He took her hand and pulled her into his arms. "You look--"

"Don't you dare crush her dress!" Addison called down.

He glared up at her for interrupting the tender moment.

Amanda chuckled and leaned close to his ear. "Tell me when we are alone." She whispered then tenderly kissed his cheek

He promised he would, making her smile. She took his arm and greeted Drake and Liam.

________________

Their guests began to arrive shortly thereafter. The couple stood by the double doors to the ballroom, greeting each one.

Thomas kept his arm around her waist as some of the single noblemen ogled his wife. His crisp greetings followed by a warning glare snapped them out of finally noticing the duchess they had thus far only deemed passable.

Amanda bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at his reaction. "I don't think they know what to make of this change Addison did." She whispered.

He finished keeping his hard gaze on a man who dashed into the ballroom. "I don't know if I should express gratitude for them not seeing you or gloat over being the one to notice how beautiful you are. Clearly they are blind imbeciles."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I for one am very thankful you were the one to notice."

She smiled when he grumbled about not being able to leave with her for somewhere more private. "I do love you so, Thomas."

His lips eased. "I love you too." He stole another kiss from her before being forced to interact with yet another group.

Lauren and Tariq approached next. The actress's jaw dropped when she saw Amanda.

Thomas watched with pride as Amanda held herself with grace and aplomb. She nodded to the couple and welcomed them to St Orella.

Tariq also seemed surprised at Amanda's attire. He bowed and took Lauren's arm to leave. The actress stopped him as her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I'm surprised to see you two. I thought you must have dropped off the face of the earth."

Amanda laughed and cut her eyes coyly to Thomas. "We became a little distracted once we were alone."

He smiled and kept his eyes solely on her. “Yes we did.” Thomas moved his hand further down her hip. "A distraction that not only held me captive but one I intend on repeating very soon."

Lauren's cheeks turned red at being ignored for the duchess once again. Even her darling Tariq struggled with keeping his eyes off her. "Good thing you married for money." She snapped. "It looks like your film career is over since you seem unable to actually begin filming."

Thomas opened his mouth to set the vain actress in her place. He had a number of insults to heap upon her. Just as he was about to unleash his temper, Amanda spoke first.

"Ignore the peasants, my love. I've found that is the best way to deal with the demented ones." She took his arm and entered into the ballroom, leaving Lauren staring once again in shock.

Holly and Nadia, who had been spying behind the door, rushed to tell the others what had happened.

"She was amazing!" Nadia exclaimed with excitement. "I have never seen her insult someone. It was done in such a cold superior way."

Olivia laughed in delight. "I wish I could have seen it."

"Here, I filmed it through the crack of the door." Holly pulled it up on her phone with an evil smile. "I intend to watch it often when I need a good laugh."

The Hollywood and Cordonian groups gathered in a tight circle as they watched the video. Laughter and pride was expressed by all of them.

Amanda and Thomas stepped up on the dais where a band awaited her signal.

"Welcome everyone." She called out in a clear, steady voice. "Lord Thomas and I are honored to have you each here for our first hosted event. Please enjoy all that St Orella has to offer." She smiled at the cheers and glanced at her husband.

He cleared his throat. "We also encourage everyone to take a tour of St Orella's  gallery. Lady Nadia Beaumont's immense talent in on display. She honored us by creating our wedding portrait." He smiled softly toward Maxwell and Nadia. "I suggest you hurry to gain an appointment with her as soon as possible before I take advantage of our friendship and demand she paint only for us."

Nadia laughed while wiping the sentimental tears from her cheeks. Maxwell pulled her into his embrace. He yelled out that he would be the one leading the tours.

Amanda bowed her head toward the orchestra and took Thomas's arm as he led her off the platform. She whispered in his ear and he nodded. He elegantly bowed before Regina and led her, delighted with his asking her first, off in a waltz.

Amanda dropped into a curtsy before Constantine and Liam. The king smiled and sent Liam to dance with her, claiming he needed to save his strength if he was to make his queen remember that Lord Thomas was a married man.

She laughed and left him settling into a comfortable chair. She and Liam joined Regina and Thomas on the dance floor while everyone watched. It was clear the royal family thought highly of the duchess and new duke. Whispers abounded as Constantine smiled in approval when he saw his wife chuckling at whatever Thomas was saying. Couples joined once the two pairs made a turn about the dance floor and  the ball officially began.

______________

After a few songs, Ryan came up beside Holly. "How about you and I try this?"

She rolled her eyes. "Is that how you ask everyone to dance or am I special?"

"You're special." He said in a serious tone for once. He took her hand when she lifted an eyebrow in amazement. Before she could agree he twirled her out onto the floor.

_______________

"Go ask her!" Jessica ordered.

Matt shook his head. "She likes someone else."

"Come on, Matt." Chris urged. "You know her crush on Liam is harmless. She adores you and turns to you first every time she needs someone. Go and let her know you want more."

Matt looked over to the side of the ballroom where Addison was talking with Riley and Hana. He took a tentative step forward to only watch as a nobleman came and asked her to dance. He shook his head at his friends when the pair disappeared on the dance floor. "It's not meant to be."

Jessica, Chris, and his wife, Shannon, watched him head off in the opposite direction where a bar was set up.

________________

Thomas searched the crowd and finally spotted his wife. She had finished her rounds and was now off by herself, watching couples dance and enjoy the food and drinks being set out. His lips curved as he was reminded of all the other times he had seen her content in remaining in the background.

She smiled when he came up beside her. "What do you think?"

"I think it is going well." He lifted her hand to his lips. "You're a perfect hostess."

She shook her head. "I can't take credit for any of this." Amanda leaned back against the wall. "Even my dress was not of my doing. All this is in thanks to highly talented people." Her eyes twinkled with humor. "I am very pleased to attract such individuals for friends and a husband."

He rolled his eyes. "You know very well how talented you are." His arm slipped around her. "They might have set this all up, but you are what is making the party." He tilted her face up to look into her eyes. "I am proud of you."

She wrapped her arm around his waist. "I don't know why with how little I have done."

He caressed her cheek while a soft smile played about his lips. "You've done everything. I'm especially proud of how you handled--" His lips firmed suddenly in a frown when they were interrupted by a man who's name he couldn't recall.

"Lady Amanda, may I have this dance?"

Thomas recognized the song beginning. "No." He answered for her. "My wife and I only dance the Cordonian Waltz with each other."

Without looking at Amanda, he tugged her toward the dance floor. He was well aware he had acted high handed, yet didn't care. He knew he would be unable to see her dance this particular one with anyone else. Her dress alone was making it nearly impossible to even let her walk around without him.

Thomas finally looked into her eyes when he twirled her into his embrace. She leaned closer and pressed a tender kiss to his lips.

They continued the dance, each wishing they were alone in the ballroom. Their eyes met with each turn. His eyes would drop down to her mouth, waiting for the moment he could kiss her as he desired. When it came to an end, he led her toward the back of the room.

"Where are we--" she gasped at how swiftly he moved her out into the dim courtyard by a hidden side door. "Thomas, we shouldn't--"

He pulled her into the shadows and kissed her exactly as he had wanted to since she had first come down the stairs. "I couldn't wait another moment." He whispered. "I have thought of little else other than this kiss."

Her arms wrapped around his waist pulled him closer to her. "I must confess that I hoped you would do this."

He smiled and captured her lips in another kiss.

_____________

As the ball continued to be praised as one of the highlights of the season, there were a few who weren't impressed with any of it.

"I can't believe she said that to me!" Lauren hissed again.

"The duchess has not been brought up like the rest of us. Her uncle did a poor job of raising her." Neville remarked. "Look at those she has chosen as close companions and confidants. Birds of a feather." He said with bitterness.

She nodded and forced a smile when Tariq returned with a glass of champagne. "Thank you."

"See." Neville pointed out. "You have more genteel manners in your little finger than she ever had." He stared at the door Amanda and Thomas had disappeared behind. "What hostess deserts her own function?"

Lauren nodded in agreement. "I knew you would understand, Lord Neville."

His eyes met hers. "When is the wedding to be?"

Tariq looked up and shrugged. "Whenever my Lauren decides."

She smiled at him. "Isn't he sweet?" Her smile slowly firmed into a disappointed pout. "It's a shame he doesn't find me as attractive as an ill mannered duchess."

Tariq tried to convince her that he didn't find Amanda attractive at all as she blinked back tears.

Neville told him he would talk to her when she rushed out of the ballroom. "You'll only make it worse with all your stutters." He snapped.

Tariq shoved his hands in his pockets. "You're right. Thanks Neville."

The future earl followed along her path. He found her in a small sitting room with all the lights turned off. Her silhouette was seen over on one of the couches.

She delicately sniffed and tried to make her voice tremble. "Please, my lord. Leave me to my despair."

Neville sat down beside her and took her in his arms. "Are you truly going to waste your life on Tariq?" He turned on a lamp to see her face. "Why didn't you wait on my return?"

Her dry eyes narrowed. "You left without a word. I never heard from you again." She stuck her nose up in the air. "Is it my fault that he fell in love with me?"

Neville slowly smirked. "Not at all, but you will end this sham of an engagement."

"And why should I?" She asked in a huff. "He is willing to give me everything that you have yet to offer." She looked at Neville and cocked her head. "Tariq is much more handsome than you."

Neville slammed his mouth over hers. He wrapped his hand in her hair and held her prisoner as she responded with angry desire.

"Would you rather marry a mere viscount or a future earl with his own island estate?" He asked.

Her eyebrow lifted. "I thought your father didn't approve of an actress in the family."

"You won't have to make another film, not with the riches my family has." He tempted her with such a promise. His lips touched hers again. "Countess Lauren rolls of the tongue more so than Vicountess Lauren."

She bit her lip and ran a finger down his shirt buttons. "I don't know." Her eyes lifted to his in mock conflict. "Tariq has been so kind to me. He has promised me everything I want. You are still under your father's rule."

Neville gripped her arms. "I will be an earl, a highly eligible one at that. As soon as Liam announces his choice, I won't be making this offer again. Why should I when I will have women fighting over me? Either you settle for Tariq and his adequate estate or you choose the better, richer noble." He let her go and left her debating on what she should do.

_____________

Drake noticed Olivia off by herself and made his way over. Something about the expression on her face made him pick up his pace.

"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting down beside her.

"Nothing." She muttered. Her eyes drifted from a recently returned Thomas and Amanda, to Maxwell and Nadia slow dancing, and finally landing on Liam and Riley talking off by themselves. Even Hana had caught Rashad's attention.

"Yes there is." Drake argued. "Don't pull that stoic crap with me."

She glared at him.

He stubbornly met her glare with his own.

"I was thinking how fast things are changing and yet I am nowhere near achieving a similar goal." She spat out.

"What are you talking about?"

She motioned toward their friends. "I didn't think much about it when Maxwell married, but then Amanda found Thomas. Now Liam will be settling down soon."

"So?" Drake prodded. "What has this got to do with your goals?"

Her hesitation unnerved him. "Your goal is to get married?" He couldn't believe it.

Her jade eyes were filled with disgust. "Don't be ridiculous. My goal is--"she turned back to observing ball. "My goal has been to obtain that which I never had."

"What is it?" He persisted.

"A family." Olivia admitted.

Drake stared at her in shock. He couldn't recall a time where she had ever wanted something so normal.

"Try and control your expression." She snapped. "I didn't suddenly sprout horns." Olivia folded her arms and tried to ignore him.

"You want kids?" He asked.

She looked up for divine intervention. "Yes. Is it really so odd?"

"No." He thought of her with a baby in her arms, threatening any who even looked like they might want to hurt it. She would give the term overprotective parent a whole new meaning. What was strange was how much he liked the image in his mind.

She straigtened her posture and turned to leave. She wasn't certain what it was that bothered her about him. All she knew was she wanted some space as she came to grips with everything going on. "I'll see you around, Walker."

"You'd make a great mom, Liv." He said, making her stop in her tracks. "Any kid would be lucky to have you taking care of him or her."

"You really--thank you." She managed to say.

Drake watched her approach Amanda, bidding her goodnight, and then left the ball.

________________

After midnight...

Amanda and Thomas waved goodbye as some guests left to return to their homes or hotels they were staying at. Others went upstairs to their rooms. The servants were already cleaning up the ballroom. Everything had been a success this evening.

Lauren was one of the last to leave with Tariq. She stuck her nose in the air and refused to acknowledge the two she hated at the moment.

Thomas ignored her and said goodbye to Tariq. Amanda wished him safe travels and didn't bother to include Lauren.

The actress couldn't believe they were letting her leave without an apology. She stormed off toward the waiting car when they turned to the next set of people leaving. Lauren began to think of ways to get back at the two that also wouldn't harm her chances in marrying a noble.

After the last car left, Thomas walked back inside with Amanda. She paused to see the progress on the ballroom. She encouraged Hudson and his team of maids and footmen to leave the rest for the next day.

Her husband took her hand and tugged her upstairs when it seemed she was going to linger. Once they were back in their bedroom, he pulled her close. He took a deep breath and simply enjoyed holding her.

"I'm going to miss you." She looked up at him. "I know it is only for a couple of weeks." She bit her lip. "And I know I will be able to visit once the court moves to Ramsford."

He kissed her forehead. "I will miss you too. I will be counting down the minutes until we are together."

"As will I." She looked over where his bags were packed and tightened her hold on him. "Tomorrow afternoon you will finally be doing what you have wanted to do all these months." She turned back toward him. "I'm sorry it took so long to get to this point."

"Don't be." He rested his forehead against hers. "I wouldn't alter one moment of the past five months."

She kissed him tenderly. "Neither would I."

"Good." He released her and took his jacket and bowtie off. His shirt was soon unbuttoned when she asked for help with undoing her dress.

She watched him in the reflection of the mirror as he started on the number of tiny hooks that had held her gown in place. A frown formed the further he went.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

He looked up and met her gaze in the mirror. "I've noticed that you usually have me help you in and out of dresses."

Her lips trembled with laughter. "I suppose I do."

"Who is going to help you when I'm gone?" His deep voice was laced with warning.

"That is an excellent question." She pretended to ponder. "I can't just ask anyone to help with this."

His eyes narrowed. "No. You can't."

"I guess I will have to resort to using the previous person who handled all this." She sighed softly and lowered her eyes. "Now I have one more reason to miss you."

Thomas finished the last few hooks and slipped his hands inside her dress. He pulled her back to his chest and waited for her to continue. When she instead tried to kiss him, he shook his head.

"Who was the previous person?"

She tried not to laugh at his irritation growing. "Me." She turned around and looped her arms around his neck. "You didn't honestly think I have some man waiting around to dress and undress me?"

"These dresses you've been wearing since we married do tend to be a two person job." He argued.

She tenderly kissed his lips. "That's because my intention with these dresses is to tempt you." Her lips moved down his neck. "If you aren't here, then there is no reason for them." She took him to her closet and held up one of her older gowns. The zipper was on the side. "See?"

He relaxed and pulled her close again. "Good. I would like for that particular job to be solely mine."

"I feel the same about you." Amanda kissed along his jaw while backing him out. "Over a great many things."

"It seems once more we are in agreement." He lowered his lips to hers once more when they reached the bed.

___________________

The next morning the two joined their friends for a farewell breakfast.

Addison sniffed while nibbling on a giant cinnamon roll. "I'm going to miss you guys."

Nadia teared up and hugged her. "I don't want you to go!"

Holly rolled her eyes and avoided looking at the ones she had surprisingly become close to.

Matt cleared his throat and let them know he was leaving today too. "I start filming the day after tomorrow for Tommy Phelps."

Addison looked up in surprise. "You are?! Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged. "You've been busy."

Thomas interrupted before Addison could cry over this new development. "You have all been a great help to me." He gripped Amanda's hand when she placed it on his leg. "Thank you for your intervention in that problem and for stepping in whenever we had other hurdles in our path."

Addison and Nadia began to cry at his words.

"That was--" Addison started.

"--so sweet!" Nadia finished.

Maxwell clapped Thomas on the shoulder. "We'll keep an eye on things here while you're gone." He noticed Amanda narrowing her eyes. "We won't let that annoyance do anything to your favorite duchess."

"I believe I am quite capable of taking care of myself." Amanda muttered. "With how you lot think of me, it is a wonder I am able to walk upright."

"Not always." Drake teased, ignoring her glare. "You do fall down a lot."

Amanda clamped her mouth shut. Her irritation soon turned to laughter. "I can't argue that point."

"May we come visit the set when we are free from duties?" Liam asked. "I would love to see the process."

"Of course." Thomas said, ignoring Addison's cheer. "You each are welcome." He checked the time and turned toward Amanda. "We have about two hours until I leave."

She set her teacup down and excused them. Their friends watched happily as the couple left outside for a walk.

Holly leaned forward once the two were far enough away. "Don't forget to watch Lauren."

Olivia nodded. "We won't. She might fool a number of the idiots here, but we know what she is."

[drtanstravels]

It’s been a while since I’ve checked in because we’ve had a relatively quiet two months, until now that is. We had been anticipating our first venture back to mainland USA since we left New York three years ago for quite a while, but for slightly different reasons than the usual excitement that comes with a big trip; the bulk of our stay was going to be in the state of Wyoming for another one of Anna’s conferences, this time the Midwest Ocular Angiography Conference being held in the small town of Jackson. We were going to be in a white, working class state that voted overwhelmingly for Donald Trump and one where a licence isn’t required to carry a concealed weapon so we figured the two of us together might draw a bit of attention. Then there was the fact that Wyoming is the least populous state in the United States so when we were looking for information about where we’d be staying, among the endless memes such as these, we also found a lot of people, mostly ironically, even calling into question the state’s existence:

Our plan was to fly out on the night of Friday, July 5, taking a 15-hour direct flight to Los Angeles, California, but due to the time difference, landing around the same time we left. We would then stay a night in LA, fly out to Jackson, Wyoming where we would spend the following four nights before spending a similar amount of time traveling around both the Great Teton and Yellowstone National Parks. Let’s get this show on the road!

I think someone wanted to come with us

Friday, July 5, 2019 I had a lot of loose ends to tie up during the day, then Anna returned from work and we began to pack. This was no easy task as the temperature in Wyoming is a little scattered. With the exception of a couple of colder outliers that were in the mid-teens, most days were going to be between 27°C (80.6°F) and 31°C (87.8°F), however, the nights would be quite cool, every evening in single digits, sometimes dropping to 0°C (32°F). This meant we would have to pack for both summer and winter, especially due to the fact that Anna had also planned to spend two nights “glamping” in a tent. Anyway, we went through our boxes of winter clothes, got everything packed, dropped the dog off at Brownie Buddies, and made our way to the airport.

There’s been a recent trend of disasters occurring around the same time we are in, or not long after we leave, a country:

We were in Honolulu, Hawaii (I realise it’s not a county in itself, but part of the US) for an ophthalmology conference from April 29 – May 2, 2018. The Kilauea volcano erupted the day we left, followed by several earthquakes including one at a magnitude of 6.9, as well as multiple lava flows. 700 houses were destroyed.

We then stayed in Tokyo, Japan from May 2 – May 7 on the way back from the Hawaiian conference. Two months later Western Japan suffered its worst natural disaster since the 2011 earthquake and the worst weather-related disaster in 36 years with flooding and landslides killing around 200 people and two million more evacuated after July 5. Another two months after the typhoon, an earthquake with a magnitude of 6.7 occured in Hokkaido, killing at least 39.

We visited Chiang Mai, Thailand for another conference from June 27, 2018, I returned on June 30 and Anna on July 2. In what was only a relatively small story when it broke, 12 teenage soccer players and their coach became trapped in a cave in neighbouring Chiang Rai on June 23, not being rescued until 18 days later, one volunteer rescuer suffocating in the process.

We were in Hangzhou, China from September 12 – 15, 2018, with Anna arriving on the 13th from Hong Kong. The day I landed in Hangzhou, Hong Kong, also technically a “special administrative region of China”, was hit by Typhoon Mangkhut, leaving 400 seeking medical care and 1,500 taking refuge in temporary shelters.

Later in the month we had a holiday in Turkey from September 24 – 29 and they didn’t escape lightly, either. Not only was there a hurricane warning for Turkey on the day we left to return to Singapore, but Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi was murdered in the Saudi consulate in Istanbul by his own government just two days later as well.

This year we spent February 1 – 5 in Sri Lanka, a mere two months before a series of bombings in churches and hotels in Colombo killed 257 people.

So, what does all of this have to do with our trip to Wyoming? Well, we had a one-day layover in Los Angeles and a 6.4 magnitude earthquake hit about 240 km (150 miles) north of LA just before we departed from Singapore, that’s all.

We caught our flight, landed, and it is alway amusing people-watching at Los Angeles International Airport, including the middle-aged woman we encountered resembling Lolo Ferrari who wouldn’t be able to sleep on her back for fear of being crushed under the weight of her own ridiculous breast implants. Once through immigration we caught a shuttle from our terminal to our hotel at the airport and an extremely strong female driver who appeared to have just returned from the manicurist picked up our exceptionally heavy suitcases like they were nothing and loaded them onto the shuttle. When we got to the hotel we grabbed our bags and I asked her how she managed to do that and keep a full set. She just gave me a cheeky smile, winked, and drove off. We checked into the hotel before making our way downstairs to a bar where we pulled up a seat for a few drinks, but the staff all seemed a little freaked out, talking about the earthquake. It seemed a little fresh in them all until I looked up at a screen showing CNN and the numbers didn’t quite add up. It turned out that another 7.1 magnitude quake with several aftershocks hit about an hour before we landed at LAX. They weren’t dwelling on the previous day’s occurrence, this stronger quake that everyone was nervous about had only just occurred. The staff just wanted to get out of there and check that their homes were still intact, plus we were pretty tired so we just had a couple of drinks and went back up to our room.

Saturday, July 6, 2019 You never get a great sleep when you make a flight as long as the one we had, constantly waking up during the night, struggling to get back to sleep, then waking up early again. This left us a fair bit of time to kill in LA before we had to fly out later that night so we decided to catch a cab to a nearby shopping mall, but first we grabbed some breakfast in the hotel cafe. One thing we were aware of, but to the degree of which we had completely forgotten, was the portion sizes in the US. Case in point, we got a breakfast burrito each and probably wouldn’t need anything else until dinner! Time to walk this one off in Westfield Culver City.

Add “NBA record most missed shots in NBA history” to that list

This mall had a ton of sporting goods stores selling NBA jerseys, caps, and other stuff, predominately Lakers gear. I’ve mentioned before that I loathe, hate, and despise the Lakers, think Kobe Bryant (left) is the most overrated player to ever lace them up, and believe that LeBron James’ spoilt, overprivileged attitude is ruining the league. This offseason the Lakers traded for Anthony Davis of the New Orleans Pelicans, a deal that could ruin the franchise for years to come if it doesn’t work out and left them wanting to sign another star player Their eyes were set firmly on free agent Kawhi Leonard, whom had just led the Toronto Raptors to the NBA championship. Instead, Leonard announced that very morning that he intended to sign with the Lakers’ crosstown rival L.A. Clippers, a team that also managed to trade for Oklahoma City Thunder star Paul George, and Lakers fans were PISSED! There was a guy who ran one of the stores, an overweight dude in a Kobe Bryant throwback jersey and all other Lakers attire who was close to tears. “If only we still had Kobe, man,” he said longingly of a player that retired three years ago. “He’d be 41, but we’d still have a chance, with Kobe you always had a chance.” He’s talking about a guy who couldn’t stay healthy toward the end of his career, playing a grand total of  107 of a possible 244 games over his final three seasons, the Lakers’ three worst regular seasons in franchise history for that matter, all while pulling in a cool US$78,953,000 in salary over that time. Yeah, he’d get it done today.

We spent the bulk of the afternoon wandering around Westfield, finding quirky objects such as Twix chocolate bar packets that claimed to contain four of only the left-side bars. We are attending Anna’s cousin’s wedding in Vancouver, Canada in September so I managed to pick up a three-piece Calvin Klein suit plus a shirt from JC Penney for a grand total of only US$355.88 (AU$506.49) plus tax, well under half-price and it actually fits. This isn’t boasting, but the price will make a bit of sense when I use it as a comparison later in this post. Anyway, take a look at some photos from our less than one day in Los Angeles:

The TV while we were in the bar on Friday night

Breakfast is served

These things were enormous

For those who believe the right Twix bar is unlucky and need twice as many in total

And vice versa

Anna had a weird craving for In-N-Out Burger, but we didn’t have time and before long we were back in the airport, ready to take a short flight from LA to Jackson, Wyoming. There is only one flight per day to Jackson and I was beginning to think there may be some truth to the conspiracy that Wyoming may not even exist when we boarded the plane and there were a grand total of 12 passengers onboard. Anyway, a bit of background information on our alleged destination:

Jackson is a small city in the Jackson Hole valley of Teton County, Wyoming, United States. The population was 9,577 at the 2010 census, up from 8,647 in 2000. It is the county seat of Teton County and is its largest town.

The town gained significant fame when a livestream of the town square went viral on YouTube in 2016, leading to much fascination with the town’s elk antler arch, its law enforcement, and its prevalence of red trucks.

As of the census of 2010, there were 9,577 people, 3,964 households, and 1,858 families residing in the town. The racial makeup of the town was 79.8% White, 0.4% African American, 0.8% Native American, 1.4% Asian, 0.1% Pacific Islander, 15.2% from other races, and 2.3% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 27.2% of the population.

Upon finding out those demographics, I immediately set myself the goal of getting a photo with one of those nine or 10 Pacific Islanders if Wyoming did indeed exist, especially if they drive a red truck. Failing that, a guy in a MAGA hat shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. I can honestly vouch for the existence of Wyoming as we landed in the Jackson Hole airport. No memories planted by the government, just real visions of a tiny airport decorated with discarded elk antlers. Anna had hired a car, but we wouldn’t be picking that up until the following day. Instead, we had a driver collecting us to take us to our motel about 10 minutes outside of town. When we arrived at the Flat Creek Inn at 8:30pm, sitting directly opposite the National Elk Refuge, the place had an appearance resembling kind of a much larger version of the motel where Earl and Randy lived in My Name Is Earl. In fact, if the motel were located in any major city in the US, it seemed almost inevitable that at least one hooker or backpacker would have been murdered there and stuffed into a wall cavity. Realistically though, it was a nice enough place and pretty much suited our needs. Our flight, the airport, and our home for the night:

Our packed flight

Flying over “Wyoming”

Anna out the front of the airport in Jackson Hole, Wyoming

Outside our room

The store where we’d be buying dinner

In our room

A little dingy, but it’ll be fine for the night

Anna sitting on the bed

Me trying to give the room a sexier vibe

After we had checked into our room it was time to try to find something to eat and that is where any semblance of normalcy ceased. This was truly an area where you couldn’t achieve anything without a car and, despite being only a 10-minute ride, a taxi into Jackson was US$40.00 (AU$57.00) each way so we were limited to the convenience store that was linked to our hotel, one that closed at midnight. Now, one thing that needs to be made clear here for anyone who hasn’t suffered from jet-lag before is that it is simply agony, especially when it is the result of an excruciatingly long flight from South-East Asia to North America. Traveling to the west coast of the US isn’t quite as bad as the east, but it’s still awful — You are unable to keep your eyes open at 4:00pm, it’s almost as if you suffer from narcolepsy and you have no problem falling asleep once you go to bed if you make it to what would be the time you would normally sleep back home, but then you find yourself wide awake a couple of hours later at 3:00am, unable to switch back off. The one upside of that late-afternoon and onward period where it’s tough to stay awake is that you are also a little delirious and anything can become absolutely hilarious. That is the position in which we found ourselves at this point. Anyway, we went down to the convenience store, but there wasn’t a lot of food options and no alcohol, however, there was a microwave and an electric coffee maker in our room so we bought two packets of instant noodles, a large frozen pizza, some jerky, and a small turkey pot pie, as well as some Tabasco sauce and two bottles of sparkling water. Dinner would soon be served. We took our instant foodstuffs back to the motel, I went to the bathroom while Anna heated some water in the coffee maker for our noodles and upon return was informed of some unpleasant news — Our room was devoid of all cutlery and crockery. Never mind, she came up with the brilliant idea of using two coffee stirrers for chopsticks. This method worked perfectly between her Kermit the Frog-like fingers, but wasn’t conducive to particularly successful eating in my massive mitts, although I eventually managed in the end, much to Anna’s amusement. But this was nothing, things were only getting started. It was time to prepare our second course, a large, frozen, pepperoni pizza. This one we did have the equipment for, or so we thought. Our pizza was vacuum-sealed so I had to tear the inner package open with my teeth. Once done I also discovered it was a little large for the microwave, but on the other hand the microwave had a button specifically for pizza. Our pizza spun and spun, smearing cheese and tomato paste all over the inside of the oven and then it occured to me; This was America and that button was for reheating cold pizza, not cooking a frozen one. This was not some dual convection oven, this was a basic microwave and if you’ve ever tried to cook an unbaked bread product in a microwave before, you’ll be more than aware that it essentially just steams it. Our microwave was getting cheesier and pastier as time went on so we had no choice but to remove the pizza and cut it in half, sans knife. Anna’s inner-MacGuyver kicked in and she thought cutting through our steamed pizza with the cardboard base upon which it had come would be the best approach. The only problem was that there were no plates to put the two halves on so Anna gnawed half of her portion of the floppy, steamed pizza from the cardboard, laughing to the point of crying at how ridiculous the situation was, while at the same time lamenting that her half wasn’t cooked properly and quitting halfway through. I started to eat my share of the pizza from the glass base of the microwave, but agreed that it needed further steaming. Nothing an extra minute of heating couldn’t fix, I even got the crust to rise a little. We gave up on the idea of even attempting to eat the pie so I cleaned the cheese and tomato paste from the inside of the microwave using makeup-removing wipes, followed by washing the microwave base in the bathroom sink, leaving an oily, red ring around the basin. What better way is there to follow a hilariously bad meal than with a hilariously bad film? RoboCop was on TV so it seemed that our night had just planned itself. Some of the offerings on hand that evening:

On the menu tonight

Easy for the daintier among us

Not so much for the larger of the species

We tried to make it fit

Pure ingenuity

Going…

Going…

Gone.

Nothing some medicated wipes couldn’t fix

My half turned out okay for a steamed pizza

Sunday, July 7, 2019 It was tough staying asleep again that night and we were awake early so we did a check of the room to make sure there were no lasting repercussions of the steamed pizza episode, checked out of the motel, and waited for our ride to take us into town to pick up our rental car, snapping a few pictures in the process. Anna had done a little research and found a cafe and bakery called Persephone so we drove down once we had our Toyota Carola and pulled up an outdoor seat for brunch. The cafe was run by hipsters so it would probably be one of the only places around to get a half-decent cup of coffee, plus we had learnt our lesson the previous day so we only ordered an appetiser each, instead of bloating ourselves on a enormous main meal when we don’t usually even eat breakfast.

Before long our brunch was finished, but it was too early to check into our new hotel so we decided to have a look around the shops. We had never been to this part of the US so I was expecting it to be a bit like Fargo, either the film or the series, but I was pleasantly surprised, however, one thing needs to be said — There is a ton of taxidermy around these parts! Go into almost any store and there is going to be anything from stuffed jackalope creations on a small table, to stuffed and mounted elk and bison heads on the wall, to full bearskin rugs with the head still attached. Add to that the wide variety of redneck t-shirts and and cowboy gear on offer, fossilised animals, and bear shit-shaped chocolates and we had an interesting afternoon ahead of us. Anna likes to find a ring for every place she visits and although there were mainly ones with ugly turquoise stones, she managed to find a unique, black gold ring in a jewellery store that has an ancient elk tooth that is actually a remnant of a tusk from when elk hadn’t fully evolved into the animal we have today. I picked up a Wyoming t-shirt with different regional animal turds on the back. Once done, before checking into our hotel, we went to a supermarket because we wanted to see what you would find in a small town US supermarket in a sparsely-populated state and we weren’t left disappointed; there was an entire bar of different flavoured fried chicken wings, you could get 80 fl.oz (2.36lt) jars of pickles, but I guess that’s because there isn’t a lot else to do in this town, especially in winter, but eat. We just bought a foam cooler for later in the trip, as well as some other supplies, but we were delayed on the way back to the car when a gust of wind came up and blew the lid off the cooler, hitting an older Mexican man in the head in the parking lot. He felt guilty for some reason and chased after it, returning the lid to us.

We then went back and checked into our home for the next three nights, the Four Seasons Resorts and Residence Jackson Hole. It was a really nice place, our room was massive, and there was food and drinks for Anna’s conference in one of the downstairs conference rooms, as well as outside by some fire pits, so we just spent the night snacking and drinking with old colleagues and some new friends. I didn’t get any pictures from the evening, but here’s the motel from the previous night, the vibe of some of the stores, and our new room:

Our motel from the previous night

The Elk Refuge across the road from the motel, sans elk

On the way into town

Hanging out with what was once a bison

This stuff was everywhere!

Anna was worried she wouldn’t see any bears on this trip so she wanted this taken

As soon as I saw this book my post had a title

One of the finer volumes ever published on the topic of wild faeces recognition

Seriously, almost all shops are like this inside

You could just settle for a fur

The perfect gift for your coprophiliac friends

Anna was a fan of this Dolly Parton picture

Fossils for sale

Some of the redneck attire available

Part of the wing bar inside the supermarket

More wings

I should’ve put something else with these pickles for perspective

Looking into a small portion of our bathroom at the Four Seasons

Part of the room

The view from the bed

Monday, July 8, 2019 Anna’s conference began early each morning and finished around 1:00pm, which wasn’t an issue for either of us because of the jet-lag and even if we did manage to nod off again after waking up in the wee hours, we’d be wide awake again about 7:00am, just in time for the conference. Anna would go about her business in the morning and we had a Nespresso machine in our room so I would drink coffee and watch the NBA Summer League until she returned, but today didn’t look like it was officially the third week of summer, it was one of those outliers I mentioned at the beginning of this post; cold outside, about 13°C (55.4°F), and pouring rain. When Anna returned the rain had stopped, but it was still cold. We went and had lunch in neighbouring Teton Village and then took the arial tram up the mountain into the Jackson Hole Mountain Resort:

The Jackson Hole Mountain Resort (JHMR) is a ski resort in the western United States, at Teton Village, Wyoming. In the Teton Range of the Rocky Mountains, it is located in Teton County, 12 miles (20 km) northwest of Jackson and due south of Grand Teton National Park. It is named after the historically significant Jackson Hole valley and is known for its steep terrain and a large continuous vertical drop of 4,139 ft (1,262 m).

Jackson Hole’s original aerial tram was closed to the public in the fall of 2006 and replaced with a new tram that opened in 2008. The tram’s vertical rise is 4,139 feet (1,262 m) to an elevation of 10,450 feet (3,185 m) above sea level.

That explains a whole lot, because the previous day we had both felt a bit out of breath at times, but we didn’t realise that we were at that elevation. Denver, Colorado is known as the “Mile High City” due to its elevation and I experienced a little bit of breathlessness when I was there, but nothing like this. However, it turns out that at 5280 feet (1609.3 meters) above sea level, Denver is barely half the elevation of the Mountain Resort and only about three quarters the average elevation of the entire Jackson Hole valley, something we definitely weren’t prepared for.

Once we were at the summit it became abundantly clear that I was glad we had come in summer. People were saying that it had been snowing as recently as a week prior and before we arrived the previous day there had been a storm of enormous hailstones out of a clear sky! There was still a bit of snow on the ground and a fair bit on the peaks so we went inside the cabin there to have a cup of awful coffee and then started to explore around the area. People around here are completely oblivious to the cold, as was proven to us time and time again on this journey, the first evidence of this was locals walking around near the snow in shorts and t-shirts! We were only out a short while when an announcement came over stating that everybody needed to get back on the tram or be stranded in the cabin for an unknown period of time, because there was a thunderstorm coming and if lightning struck the metal platform for the tram, everyone standing on it would be fried. Instead of packing onto the tram, we sat in the cabin, drank more shitty coffee, walked around and got a bit wet outside, and waited for the next opportunity to leave, embracing the lack of children in the cabin and the space in the tram, all the while the operator played classic rock on our descent and we spotted foxes and marmots on the mountain. Our day up until that point:

A little grim outside our hotel window that morning

A challange in the restaurant in our hotel. That’s almost a 1kg burger and a litre of beer

Heading into Teton Village

“Hey, let’s go up there!”

Beginning our ascent

A panoramic view of the summit

Anna was complaining that the wind was making her teeth hurt

These people are fearless

Coming over a bit bleak

Making the most of everyone else fleeing

It’s nicer up here alone

A fox running around

Now beginning our descent

Another fox in the snow

About halfway down

Most shops and restaurants in and around Jackson close at 10:00pm so we decided to take the opportunity to drive into town and get our outfits for the Western-themed dinner the following night. It was also essential that we remembered to refer to the clothing as our “outfits” and not “costumes,” because this is how a large portion of the local population actually dress every day, including some of those in attendance.

We found several stores selling what we needed and it soon became abundantly clear why cowboys used to rob banks and shoot people back in the day — It was so they could steal money to buy their clothes! The reason I mentioned the Calvin Klein suit that I had purchased in Los Angeles a couple of days earlier for US$355.00 was for a comparison. For my “outfit” for the dinner I figured I’d get a Western shirt, some boots maybe with a fringe running up the side, a hat, possibly some chaps, but those dreams were all shattered when I saw the prices. A shirt was at least US$100.00, most pushing US$200.00. It was impossible to get a pair of boots my sizes for much less than US$500.00. I even found the sweater The Dude wears in the film The Big Lobowski, marketed as such and it was US$239.00! For a zip-up woollen sweater! Fortunately, I was able to snag a shirt for US$59.00 on a post-fourth of July sale rack and when you see it you’ll realise why, plus a cheap hat for another US$39.00 (all plus tax, of course).

We looked around a few of the areas of town that we didn’t explore the previous day and soon it was time for dinner. We’re not used to this cooler weather, plus we both love cheese, so what better option could there possibly be than fondue? We found a place called Alpenhof Lodge that had fondue back in Teton village near our hotel, then settled into a bar claiming to be “World famous” called the Mangy Moose Steakhouse and Saloon for a few beers and some live country music, or “Farm Emo” as I like to call it, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last time we’d be listening to it on this journey. A pattern we would discover while in this part of the country was that bars close at 11:00pm no matter what day it is, but we still managed to have a good time that night before walking back to our place to try to get some much needed sleep. How the rest of the day looked:

In another arch made from discarded elk antlers. There are a few of these around

I see what they did there….

The main street of Jackson

I love ‘The Big Lobowski’, but I’m not paying that much

$567.00 is the sale price for a very small pair of boots

That’s the original!

All the cars here are enormous!

Someone’s excited for fondue

There was a ‘Galaga’ machine where we had dinner, too

Settling into the Mangy Moose

Our entertainment for the night

They inexplicably have an original 1950s Las Vegas showgirl costume framed on the wall near the toilets there…

…as well as what looks like the evolution of bear traps

Tuesday, July 9, 2019 It was our last full day in Jackson prior to moving on to the holiday leg of our stay and the weather was nice so we had to make the most of it before I made a complete fool of myself in front of a bunch of strangers that night. I did my usual routine — a coffee and NBA Summer League — before Anna returned home, we had a bite for lunch, and then she confirmed what she had been considering the previous day as a way to fill in today; we were going to go whitewater rafting on Snake River:

The Snake River is a major river of the greater Pacific Northwest region in the United States. At 1,078 miles (1,735 km) long, it is the largest tributary of the Columbia River, in turn the largest North American river that empties into the Pacific Ocean.

Formed by the confluence of three tiny streams on the southwest flank of Two Oceans Plateau in Yellowstone National Park, western Wyoming, the Snake starts out flowing west and south into Jackson Lake. Its first 50 miles (80 km) run through Jackson Hole, a wide valley between the Teton Range and the Gros Ventre Range. Below the tourist town of Jackson, the river turns west and flows through Snake River Canyon, cutting through the Snake River Range and into eastern Idaho.

When Anna gets her mind set on something her intent is always to do it properly, however, I didn’t have to worry about her inadvertently signing up to do the full length of the river, just a stretch of about eight miles (12.8km) through Snake River Canyon, an area known to have some of the best whitewater rafting in the US. There were several options regarding the size of rafts and the amounts of people thereon, but we wanted to keep it intimate so we opted for one with room for eight people plus our guide. Our journey down the river was going to consist of Anna and myself, as well as Adrian, one of Anna’s colleagues that works in Sydney, Australia, and Nicole, an ophthalmologist we had met at the conference that we got on well with from Chicago. The other four spots would be taken up by some randoms that wanted to join us, which ended up being a family of four from Oregon. We took a shuttle bus for about an hour to the point in the river where our journey would begin. For a few dollars extra you could rent a wetsuit, but it was a nice, warm day so everyone besides Adrian and Nicole decided they didn’t need one, a decision we would all regret in hindsight. We all put on some sunscreen, the combination with Adrian’s black wetsuit making him look a pale shade of blue, as if he had a vitamin-D deficiency or maybe it was just his first ever time in actual sunlight, but he would have the last laugh. Once we had donned our lifejackets we pushed the raft out into a calm part of the river, boarded, and Hunter, our guide who was also clearly a massive stoner that had his own radio show with his friend, gave us our instructions as we floated downstream, informing us on how to react to each command, what to do if we have an “out of boat experience,” that type of thing. You could tell from a million miles away that this dude spent the nine months of the year that weren’t summer completely baked in neighbouring Colorado, just punching decriminalised cones and snowboarding. One thing that he said, however, had me a little worried; he told me I was going to freeze in my cotton t-shirt. Should’ve opted for the wetsuit. After receiving our advice and instructions we started to hit some small rapids, but it was when the first wave sprayed over our boat that we truly realised that this river was formed from glacial runoff and was absolutely freezing. The four of us were seated in the back two rows of the boat, the family in the front two with the father and the teenaged son having volunteered to be at the very front of the boat. Every time we hit a rough patch that sent water over us the teenaged kid seemed to cop it the worst and from the very first time you could just see him perpetually shivering and his teeth audibly chattering the entire ride. It was a really great time, the scenery was stunning, and it was hilarious when we would see a capsized boat or people doing something stupid and a possibly still-stoned Hunter would make chicken noises and yell either “Utah” or “Florida” at them, the latter an obvious reference to the less than stunning track record people from that state have in the common sense department. Not all of the people in the water were in there accidentally, though. Some of them were swimming! I mentioned earlier about how these people are impervious to cold and some thought a dip in the frigid waters was rather refreshing, one group even turning their inflatable boat upside-down and used it as a slip-n-slide. Me? I was soaked in my t-shirt, probably shouldn’t have worn socks either, my hands and feet were wrinkled and completely devoid of any colour whatsoever. In my own defence, it wasn’t the kind of boat I was expecting and I didn’t think I would get quite so wet, but we had an absolute blast and I’m just thankful I didn’t have an “out of boat experience.” Here’s a few shots from inside the boat, some of our group, and a couple more of our beautiful surroundings:

Heading down to the water behind the family that would be joining us

Yup, we’ll be on a small one of those

All aboard!

And we’re off

Going to have to put the camera away and paddle soon

Adrian, Anna, Hunter, Nicole, and my saturated self

The upside-down boat is the slip-n-slide

It doesn’t look that rough, but it certainly was

Another area of the river

Looking back on from where we had come

We got back in the shuttle bus and made the one hour trip back to the hotel, trying to get the feeling back in our lower extremities the entire way, as the moment we had spent a large portion of the previous day shopping for was almost upon us; when we arrived back at the hotel it would be time for us to start getting ready for the Western-themed dinner. I was a little nervous about the dinner for the sole reason that when I purchased my cowboy shirt, it was one of those seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time moments. You see, as I mentioned, the shirt was on a discount rack for fourth of July stock that the store now needed to get rid of, but this wasn’t just any old shirt — It was an extremely ugly shirt with a design based on the good ol’ stars ‘n’ bars. Yes, my shirt was a particularly patriotic-looking one that resembled the American flag and I was worried the irony would be lost on some at the event. Admittedly, it really was the cheapest shirt I could find, but my concern was that some people wouldn’t find it anywhere near as funny as we initially did. At least there would be others that would look just as stupid as I would, as Adrian had just ordered a generic cowboy costume online and this was his first time even trying it on, although we had to remind him to refrain from calling it a “costume,” because it closely resembled the wardrobes of some in attendance.

When we arrived there was a live country band churning out some more Farm Emo so Anna started to do the rounds, chatting to colleagues, friends, and acquaintances and I hit the bar, which had some really good local microbrews available. Soon it was time to sit down for dinner, but not long after we were seated some of the organisers wanted to get everybody up again to do line-dancing and they were relentless! They just wouldn’t take a “no” for an answer, but fortunately they also weren’t going to get a “yes” out of myself. It was a good thing too, because the end result wasn’t pretty:

As you can clearly see some people got a little more into the line dancing than others, possibly even enjoying themselves, as is also evident here:

The food started to come out and the line-dancing devolved into just regular dancing to country music for those that refused to give up the dance floor. Dinner was good, but there weren’t a whole lot of options and there was one woman on our table who had allergies to seafood and nuts, as well as being lactose intolerant, ruling out the bulk of what was served to her. The night continued on, but one thing that occurs when drinking at high altitudes is it takes you nowhere near as much to get drunk so the crowd started to peter out a little as people began to realise they were getting sleepy and went back to their rooms. As for Anna, Nicole, and myself, we decided to hit up the Mangy Moose again, joined by a cool pharmaceutical representative from Chicago we had met, Tony. We hung around in the Mangy Moose until they were going to close, the girls getting served special, albeit exceptionally strong, house Slurpee cocktails. When the Moose closed, we headed back to our rooms, myself content in the knowledge that I would never need to wear that shirt ever again. Or so I thought; one of our plans for this trip was to attend a rodeo and Anna was insistent that I wear it, fully aware that it could possibly get me killed. Anyway, here’s how the dinner and drinks looked:

This is what I’d be rocking

More Farm Emo

On the menu tonight

Some really got into the line-dancing

The table centrepiece

It was a fun night, but I couldn’t dress like this all the time

Back at the Mangy Moose

The next day we had lunch with Tony and then drove out to Grand Teton National Park to begin the holiday leg of our journey.

Stay tuned for the conclusion to this story to see us exploring the US Pacific Northwest and “glamping” in Grand Teton National Park, as well as staying in the world famous Yellowstone National Park, encountering more than our share of geysers and wildlife along the way. If that doesn’t interest you, at least check to see if I have my Borat moment at a rodeo:

via GIPHY

Hanging out in Wyoming, an American state that some don't even believe exists It's been a while since I've checked in because we've had a relatively quiet two months, until now that is.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

The Self-Indulgent Holiday Special

The best way to celebrate a holiday is clearly to write a thing where your persona meets the characters made by your favorite YouTuber. Trust me, I’m an expert. 100% real authority on writing

‘M posting this super late at night after I felt the sudden need to write it, so forgive any mistakes I may have made. Also if you give me any sort of trouble for putting myself in the story.......whatever. It’s nearly 2019, I’m ignoring the connotation of cringe

There’s a rooftop garden in the city. Trees and flowers of all kind, just sitting on top of a ten-story building. Of course, it being the middle of winter, most of the plants had died out, though there were some stubborn coniferous trees and red flowers still growing. An iron railing surrounded the garden, keeping people from falling off.

Sitting on a wooden bench, looking over the setting sun, is a girl. Or, not a girl. They weren’t quite sure in recent times.They have red hair, vibrant and shoulder-length. They wear a set of glasses—they have multiple, and had decided on the black pair today. The evening is cool, but not cold, so she’d forgone her coat and wore what she usually did: a blue hoodie with a bright yellow smiley face in the center. By her side is a purple backpack, containing, as it usually did, her laptop—complete with headphones and mouse—the book she was currently reading, and her bag of colored pencils. They sit on the bench with their knees pulled close, their black sketchbook propped so that she can draw easily. She had some ideas she needed to get out.

“Hypocrite.”

It always surprised her, even though she knew who it was and what he wanted. She turns and sees Abyss, one of her characters. He looks like he always does, silver hair, red old-fashioned coat, brown eyes with stars in the pupils. He's staring at her, but that was to be expected when one didn’t blink. “Why do you say that?” she asks.

Abyss rolls his eyes. “You tell me I can’t visit this set of universes, at all, 100% forbidden, and now you’re here. Drew yourself up a portal. Therefore, hypocrite.”

“This is different,” they explain.

“It always is with you, Ms. Creator.”

Honestly, when they created a character with the ability to jump universes, she hadn’t expected to ever actually meet him. Hell, for the longest time, they hadn’t realized any of their ideas could spawn another world. But that was irrelevant. Abyss, though annoying and way too powerful for anyone’s good, isn’t antagonistic toward her, not anymore at least. “No, I mean, it-it really is different this time,” she insists. “This world in particular, it’s...I-I mean, it’s not mine, I don’t-I don’t think I can count it that way—”

“Hmm, I thought I recognized the feel,” Abyss interrupts. “This universe has your stamp on it.”

“They’re, um, not my characters—”

Abyss laughs. “That’s never stopped you before. You have your own little versions of worlds scattered all about. I never would’ve met Dani if you didn’t get obsessively attached to stories you like and made your ‘headcanons’ into your ‘canon.’ What’s so different about this one, this multiverse?”

She frowns. “I think it’s that...the creator of the original, he’s not-not, like, distant. I see him as a person and not as a-a-a, I dunno, a faceless maker of content. And all the people who are, like, inspired by his work are, they’re, like, people I know, you know? It’s really a community...like they say. And it feels mo-more special...personal, I guess.”

“I see...” She knows that Abyss is lying. She knows him better than anyone else; she’d created him, after all. He struggles with empathy, though he’s learning. And the idea of community, that you could somehow relate to people all around the world based on this one thing...it was a very empathetic, human experience. “Ah, would you look at that,” he says. “You plan this? It’s why you showed up here, isn’t it?”

They look up. The rooftops of the city had been empty a moment before. Now, there’s someone running across them, expert parkour-style. He’s wearing a red and blue jumpsuit, and a hood hides his face from view. But they know who it is. “I mean, I kinda planned it,” they say. “I wrote that this was a regular thing. And I decided to show up here at this moment, so...”

“You have a little crush on a fictional character? I understand that’s something that can happen.”

“What?! No! He’s like twenty-eight. I’m nineteen. I don’t do that. I just...friends are nice too.”

“Yeah...they are...” Abyss nods. “I’m starting to get that. So, I’ll leave you to it.” There's a flash of dark blue, and he’s gone, leaving nothing but a blue mist-like substance that quickly disperses.

“Hey there!” The man in red has landed on the rooftop with the garden, and caught sight of the artist sitting on the bench.

For a moment, she thinks the words will get caught in her throat like they always do. But...she knows him. He might not be her original character, but he was her version. “Hi,” she says. “You’re, um, Jackie, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am!” Jackie puts on a dramatic voice, and strikes a pose. “I’m the one and only Jackieboy Man! Protecting the city from crime, day and night!”

“I know,” they say, laughing a bit. “I’m-I guess you can say I’m-I’m-I’m a fan. My name is—” they hesitate for a moment. Should they give him their real name? Most of their characters know them as Brigid...but people had started calling them a nickname, of sorts, since they started becoming more active in the community. It feels...right, somehow, to use that instead. “I’m Crystal.”

“Crystal, huh?” Jackie tilts his head. He gives her a warm smile. “That’s a nice name. A, uh, fan, huh? I don’t really deserve that, you know. I’m just a guy in a mask and jumpsuit.”

“But you’re, like, a superhero!” Crystal says. “That’s so cool!”

“Well,” Jackie’s eyes light up. He thinks it’s very cool indeed. “I guess, but it’s not like I have powers. My friend—I mean, I have friends just like anyone else. I’m trying my best.”

“But a lot of people, um, you know, they don’t do the things you do. Even if-if they can. So, that you’re trying, you know, that’s important.”

Jackie considers this for a moment. “Yeah, you’re right. I can see that. Have a good night, Crystal.” He starts to turn away.

“Wait!” Crystal stands up, fighting down a surge of panic. “I just—um—I’m—did-did-did-did you know it’s Yule today?” She cringes internally. Stupid stutter.

“Really? Christmas isn’t for another few days.”

“No, it’s the winter solstice. The twenty-first. That means it’s Yule.” She feels her face growing hot. Unconsciously, she starts picking at the binding of her sketchbook. “It’s a, uh, pagan holiday. I’m Wiccan. I mean, I don’t practice it as much as I should, but if there’s any religion I can say I’m a part of, it’s that, you know? My-my family doesn’t celebrate it. And I mean, I love our Christmas celebrations, and the season is-is great. But I’d like to celebrate it and I was thinking—I mean—um—you seem nice. Can I, like, be with you? Like, hang out? I mean that!”

This couldn’t have gone any worse if they tried. They fully expect Jackie to just walk away. But, to their surprise, he stops, and consider. “That...maybe...” he muses. “...I mean, I can’t take a civilian out on patrol. But my friends are having a get-together tonight. I wasn’t expecting to be able to make it...but the question is, can you be trusted? I’ll be taking off my mask.”

“That’s fine!” Crystal assures him. She knows all the details anyway; she wrote his backstory, after all. “I won’t even be in this wor—in this town for long.” Yes, great idea. Tell your local superhero you’re a universe-hopping artist/writer with the ability to make anything with the power of drawing and words. He may or may not think you’re crazy, honestly hard to tell.

Jackie smiles, relieved. “In that case, feel free to come along. Though, my friends probably won’t be that happy about it. Don’t worry, I’ll convince them. Now come on!”

Smiling to herself, Crystal grabs her backpack and hurries to catch up.

The house looks exactly like she’d pictured it. A regular suburban sprawl with a big yard and two stories. Much bigger than her own, which was much too small for five people, two cats, and a tortoise.

“Ready?” Jackie had changed into his civilian clothes, ducking into an alleyway with a “no peeking!” Like she had any interest in things like that. Now, in his comfortable red hoodie and completely mask-less, he leads the way up the path and knocks on the door. A moment passes, then it’s opened by a man with a face just like his, hidden mostly under a gray baseball cap. “Jackie!” he says, excited. “We thought you weren’t coming!”

“Decided the city was safe enough for one night,” Jackie shrugs. “Oh, and I brought a friend!” He stands aside, and gestures at Crystal.

“Oh! Uh, hi. I’m Chase.” Chase can’t hide his surprise, though he’s trying his best. “We...weren’t expecting anyone else. We weren’t even expecting Jackie.”

Crystal laughs nervously. “Yeah, it just sort of...happened. It’s Yule.”

“Huh. Well, you’re welcome inside. Come on in!” Chase stands aside, allowing Jackie and then Crystal herself to enter the house.

Crystal’s eyes widen at the sight, and they can’t stop a small gasp from escaping their mouth. It was...all of them. It's kind of trippy, actually, seeing five versions of the same person, wearing different clothes, standing with various postures. Like that one project they tried to do in senior year film class, where they played all the characters. They never got around to finishing it, mostly because about a third of the footage went missing somehow.

“Hey everyone, Jackie’s here!” Chase announces.

“Ah, Jackie! We thought you weren’t making it tonight!” If she couldn’t tell from the glasses, the voice is a dead giveaway for who that is.

One of them waves. The clothes and the silence are also dead giveaways.

“Who’s the kid?” Process of elimination leads to the obvious conclusion for the last one.

“Oh, uh, guys, this is Crystal,” Jackie introduces her. “I ran into her on patrol, and she said she was a fan, and so I invited her to come.”

“They,” Crystal whispers, forcing the single syllable out.

“Hmm? What was that?”

“I’m, uh, good with ‘they’ too. If you don’t mind. ‘She’ is good too. But, um, just...so you know...” Crystal trails off. It’s the first time they’d ever, in person, made that point clear. She’d never even told her family. The only people who really know are the people who read her blog description and maybe some people on Discord.

“Well, okay then!” Jackie smiled. “Don’t worry, I get it.” She knows he does. This is a world where her headcanons are canon. And damn the canonicity of the SP playthrough, a queer hero is cool. And maybe...there were personal reasons why she thought that, but...it doesn’t stop it from being cool.

“Yeah, okay, whatever makes you comfortable. I’m Marvin, that’s Henrik, call him Schneep, and Jameson. You already know Jackie and Chase.” He points out each one as he says their names. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

“Hey! Who’s the host here?” Chase sounds indignant. He turns to Crystal. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

Schneep and Marvin roll their eyes in perfect unison.

Jackie gasps dramatically. “Snacks!” He runs towards the coffee table, which holds a variety of sweet and salty foods. “We got chips, we got chocolate, we got other foods starting with the letter C...”

“Hey, dude, can you leave the plain candy bars alone?” Chase asks. “Bobby’s allergic to nuts so she wants those.”

“The kids—I mean there’s a kid here?” Crystal asks.

Chase nods. “Yeah, I, uhm, got my kids, Bobby and Trevor, for the weekend. They’re in their room right now, but they told me they might come down later.”

“That’s cool,” Crystal says. “I like kids. I’m kind of good with them, I think. I mean, my sister is better, kids just love her.”

“Chase, if you ever need a babysitter, I think they are volunteering,” Schneep says lightheartedly.

“What?! I—uh—no, I can’t. I won’t be in town for long, I’m just here for Yule.”

“Isn’t that, like, a witch holiday?” Chase asks.

Jameson shakes his head, then makes some quick symbols with his hands. Not for the first time, Crystal wishes she’d fully learned sign language. Even ASL could help in a situation like this. The others understand, nodding.

“Pagan, huh?” Marvin plops down onto the couch. “Interesting. What made you choose that?”

Crystal thinks. “It seemed...the most right. It makes the most sense with my...worldview. And I like magick. That’s the kind with a K, but if regular magic existed I’d like that too.”

Marvin chuckled. “Well, keep your hopes high, kid.”

Crystal smiles softly. She feels a bit...giddy inside. Marvin was her second favorite, and here she is, talking magic with him. Kinda. More dancing around the subject. But it would be weird to let on that she knew everything about these guys.

Time passes. The five fall back into their comfortable back-and-forth banter, the sort Crystal loves to write. Hearing it come to life, and more importantly, actually sounding like something they would say, made Crystal feel full of joy. But even more so, the fact that these five characters who she’d held so close to her heart seemed to incorporate them into their dynamic so easily...even though Crystal was just jumping into conversation occasionally, they felt a ball of light and fuzziness inside themself.

Eventually a small brunette girl and a tiny blonde boy came out and joined for a while. The two are greeted with familiar enthusiasm. Bobby and Trevor are clearly well-known and well-loved among the group. After a while, Chase herds them back upstairs for bedtime. Marvin and Schneep get into a competitive Mario Kart race, which ends in controllers being thrown across the room. Jackie convinces everyone to watch Spider-Man: Homecoming for a while. The snacks are devoured. Then, it’s one o’clock.

“We should probably all go to bed soon,” Schneep says, looking at the clock.

“Oh, so says you, Mr. All-nighter,” Marvin laughs.

“I have work to do! You have no excuse and needs your rest!”

“Except you have a day off tomorrow, so you have no work and also no excuse,” Jackie points out.

Jameson signs something, and Crystal vaguely recognizes one of the signs, though she doesn’t remember the meaning. Luckily, the others are not so inhibited. “Alright, dude,” Chase says. “You want us to walk you there?”

Jameson shakes his head. “Are you going home?” Crystal asks. When Jameson nods, they continue, “I should probably go to. You, um, don’t mind if I walk with you...for a bit? Not all the way?”

After a moment of consideration, Jameson nods. A chorus of goodbyes follows the two of them out the door.

It’s dark. Crystal can’t help but be a bit scared, though she knows that with her sketchbook and pencil in hand she’s well-prepared for any threat. If she has enough time to draw something to defend herself, that is. Jameson doesn’t seem worried. Then again, he’d faced worse than street criminals.

Crystal tried to think of something to say. Come on, this should be easy. JJ is their favorite, and they really wanted to talk to him. But...this was good too. The two of them walk in silence, but it’s a companionable type of silence. Crystal isn’t really comfortable with being the shorter one of the two, even though they’re shorter than most people. Maybe because they’d always thought of JJ as the small one, even though his height is basically the same as the others, give or take a centimeter or two.

Still, Crystal has something they need to say. “Can I call you JJ?”

A nod, accompanied by a friendly mustache wiggle. Crystal laughs. “Thanks. I...” she swallows nervously. “I just want to say I’m sorry.”

JJ looks at her, confused. “For all you’ve gone through, I-I mean,” she elaborates. “It’s-it’s awful and-and-and you’re so nice, um, you know? So you didn’t deserve it.”

JJ can’t hide his confusion. He’s stopped walking, directly under a street lamp. It was very dramatic. He knows that Crystal can’t understand BSL, but he makes some vague gestures that she takes to mean, what are you talking about?

“I know a lot,” Crystal says simply. “And I...have my own demons to face...actually I, um, just realized that one of her names also starts with A.”

Jameson’s eyes widen. He starts to gesture again, but Crystal shakes her head. “No, we—um, I don’t want to. Not now. And you’ll-you’ll-you guys’ll probably never see me again. I need to go back home. I have stories that I need to work on. But...I’m really sorry.” She feels tears in her eyes. “I’m really so sorry.”

Still confused, but understanding a bit more, Jameson nods. Crystal gives a watery smile. “Goodbye. Tell the others I said bye too.” She turns to leave, but JJ taps her shoulders. He spreads his arms wide, almost questioning. “I...don’t do hugs,” Crystal explains. “Not always. But, um...this is going to sound weird, but give me your hand.” JJ complies. Crystal grabs it with both of her own hands and squeezes tight. “This is the same thing to me,” she explains. “But it feels better. You don’t mind, do you?” JJ smiles, shaking his head.

After a moment, Crystal lets go. She backs away. “Goodbye!” she calls one last time. JJ waves. She turns and dashes away, eventually turning down an alleyway.

The downside of her creations coming to life? It makes the painful parts of their stories so much harder to write. Crystal can feel a hard knot of guilt and sadness in their chest. But without despair, there can’t be any bliss. Without struggle, there would be no peace. And they always ended stories on a hopeful note. They always wrote a happy ending that made everything worth it.

The creator presses her pencil to a fresh sketchbook page and quickly draws an outline of a door. It’s familiar to her, a white rectangle with a silver doorknob. When she looks up, it’s embedded on the nearby wall like it’s always been set there. She steps forward, pulling it open. On the other side is a well-lit basement room, a bed and two overflowing bookshelves, tan walls hidden by posters. She crosses through, closing the door behind her. It fades away.

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.

Some holiday weekend, head out to the ‘burbs” or stroll through some campgrounds or a public park. Your nose will pick up a couple very distinctive smells: Wood smoke and charcoal grills. Charcoal and wood fire scents carry far and linger long, presenting a pretty significant cue that people are nearby.

They also regularly offer really lovely wisps and plumes visible above rooftops, retaining walls, hedges, and woods depending on fuel source, weather, and skill. Even relatively small grills can pump enough to home in on once scents have us in the neighborhood.

We may very well want to avoid those telltales in some disasters, and there are plenty of other reasons low-and-no-smoke cooking backups are a must-have for preppers.

They apply to “normal” outage-based disasters and world-shaking events, and to beginners, apartment dwellers, and “soft” climate dwellers as well as the old hats who are already familiar with the numbingly, back-achingly incredulous amount of wood it takes to cook daily and keep even a tight, well-insulated home warm.

The backup methods I’ll list commonly use less fuel or completely different fuels than our primary systems. That diversity and efficiency helps our resources last longer and keeps us cooking when resupply isn’t available.

If we already count on wood or propane for winter heat or cooking, using alternatives now can lower our current burden, giving us the ability to stockpile more. (Or some extra cash and time!)

Many of us try to avoid pine and unseasoned wood in chimneys, especially brick that can’t be taken apart for easier access. Nonflammable, cleaner-burning and tabletop methods help limit buildup.

There are also scenarios where an injury or illness limits our usual labor, there are reasons to stay hunkered down inside, limit noise, and as such our most-efficient tools go down and our production slows; that or something like a flood or mudslide limits our access.

If we can cook and warm spaces without wood, we can horde that “now” precious commodity against greater need.

Or, we may not have a massive woodpile (yet), or a fireplace or woodstove of either species. We may not have a functioning chimney, or our chimney may develop a problem during a crisis. Backups for our backups keep us plodding forward.

*Liquid-gas fuels share some of the wood-charcoal factors, and have some new ones of their own.

Many of us live places where it gets pretty hot. Whatever the fuel used, heating the house unnecessarily just isn’t conducive for easing the stresses and burdens of an already difficult time – whether the crisis is widespread or only affecting us.

On the other hand, outdoor cooking gets old fast for those of us with seasonally or perennially dusty-windy conditions. That’s how it goes with picking oak catkins and maple spinners out of food, and dealing with flies and mosquitoes.

Grilling outside in a pounding rainstorm or frigid winds also kind of sucks – and can take forever – but then again it’s not usually a great idea to use charcoal grills inside.

Slight Consolation: Food you’ve suffered for in cold weather tastes better. (Muggy/hot weather, not so much.)

Options we can use indoors and under screened porches and pop-up pavilions check a big, big box.

There’s also the *other* rule of threes that some of us ascribe to: three ways to reach and accomplish any task. It’s not always possible (or practical), but in the case of alternative cooking methods, we can check that box, too, easily and with very little outlay in time or money.

Most of the methods below use things already in the home, very basic “everybody everywhere” tools, and outright trash/recycling that costs nothing but time. Some don’t even take up extra space.

The internet abounds with options for DIY’ing these and making them more efficient or portable, so I’m not going to reinvent the wheel on that front.

*I am not affiliated with any of the links provided, nor do I always agree with the authors (or even have any idea what else they post) – they’re the simplest, easiest, or most expedient versions that popped when I wanted an example.

Minimal-Smoke Cookers

Propane/Butane Stoves & Grills – There’s not a safe DIY for these and there’s potentially competition with preppers’ primary fuels or generators, but they’re pretty handy and inexpensive, so I don’t want to ignore them.

Rocket Stoves – I love these things. They take small kindling and sticks or trash wood and turn it into a high-efficiency, high-temperature burn. There’s a variation for everyone – balcony, porch, or backyard; homes, RVs, vehicle kits, or bag-portable.

Super easy DIY’s use CMU block, or a paint can, #10 can, or tall baked-beans or spaghetti-sauce cans and increasingly smaller cans. Other builds involve buckets, ammo cans, large terra cotta pots, cement, and sand. They’re not quite as super-easy or super-fast builds, but some variants further increase efficiency by burning the wood gas that’s generated from burning most woods.

Some of the store-bought versions have an added bonus: They’ll charge small devices or battery packs.

They can put off a fair bit of smoke, but they do it quickly and then stash away. They use wood, but we can fuel them with pruners and busted-up furniture and boards instead of axes and campfire/stove logs.

They’re not a simmer-beans or bake-bread oven/stove. It’s too fast and hot of a burn. They specialize in fast-cook foods and quickly bringing foods/water up to a boil to use with…

WonderBag/Wonder Boxes – Purchased or DIY, bag or box version http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Make-a-Wonder-Box-CookerCooler/, these function like a thermal cooker  https://delishably.com/cooking-equipment/Thermal-Cooker.

They allow us to use a short “burn” time to heat food or water to boiling, then retain the heat, turning preexisting pots into non-electric slow cookers or crock pots.

Solar Cookers – DIY for solar ovens abound, from the simple glass over a tire with a pot inside, to some pretty complicated tilts, cuts and hinges. They’re done with pizza boxes and aluminum foil, vehicle reflectors, polished scrap metal, and mirrors. You can spend as little or as much as you fancy, ordering in or building.

I find them limited to mid-late spring through autumn, but I can protect them from pests pretty easily and they’re great for not heating the house or burning fuels in summertime, as are…

Steeping Jars – These are basically small-scale solar cookers. It’s as simple as pouring dehydrated veggies, grains, or pre-soaked beans in any ol’ jar, adding the needed water, and hanging/setting it in a bright spot.

Dark paint or fabric on jars, reflectors, and added insulation like a larger jar or aquarium can increase efficiency, reducing cook time and extending the weather they’re useful in.

*Don’t forget to brew sun tea & coffee.

Water Bags & Camp Showers – Getting the sun to give us a head start or completely handle heating water for us decreases resource and time expenditure. We can use anything, purpose-made, painted/covered garden sprayers, or regular ol’ jugs.

The warmed water can be used for wash-ups or for soaking and cooking freeze-dried foods, Lipton-Knorr-Rice-a-Roni sides, or our own noodles and rice.

The sun is free (when it’s there), compared to other resources – whether it’s propane, charcoal, or self-cut wood – and there’s little wear on parts compared to hydro or wind power. Even if the sun only warms that water, it’s reducing wait time and resource use.

*Keep a pot of water on a conventional oven, arctic brick stove, space heater, or woodstove, or on, under, or beside a grill and while a rocket stove burns out to accomplish the same ready-to-use pre-warming – even now. It’s even handier in winter, increasing heat radiation and serving as a heat sink.

DIY Candles – The upcoming methods call for a candle or alcohol stove. Those heat sources are interchangeable. (Differing flame heights will require adjustments.) We can also create our own.

With cotton mop strands, cord, or “real” wicks, olive oil can fuel lamps (https://www.littlehouseliving.com/olive-oil-candles.html). *Small citronella burners are really nice alternatives to open jars if we’ll have our lamps in and out of service for a while during an outage or long-term disaster.

We can sink wicks into shortening, too, in jars or the original tubs, creating another simple (and surprisingly long lasting) cooking method out of multi-functional storage items.

We use candles and mini-stoves in a grill, or set them up campfire/tailgate style with a grate over a terra-cotta pot, bricks, or some cans (fill them with water – sturdier + pre-warmed/boiled water).

Smells from candle, oil, and fuel-brick stoves and ovens will carry to nearby neighbors (so will cooking foods) but they dissipate even faster than quick-burn rocket stoves. The traces are even more contained when used indoors.

Clay Pot Heaters/Cookers – These are pretty easy to find for DIY – using as much hardware as you like, or kept streamlined and simple – or as prettied-up ready-to-use purchases.

They can be effective on their own, most usually to slowly warm foods like a slow cooker, but if they get plopped in a grill or oven (crack the door), the efficiency goes up and food will heat faster and more evenly.

*That goes for any of the methods that will fit. Be mindful of flame size and fumes.

Candle Ovens – We can buy a HERC oven (multiple recipes/examples: http://prepared-housewives.com/baking-with-the-herc-oven/) or DIY our own. It’s just rigging clusters of taper or pillar candles, DIY candles/lamps, or a whole slew of votives or tea lights on a drip-safe surface inside an oven, and cooking or baking at 200-300-degrees on the grate above.

*Hood/tent foods in full-size ovens (and campfire grates) with an overturned bowl or larger pan. It’ll hold heat closer to the food, speeding things up and cooking more evenly.

   Can Stoves – These are super easy, super effective spinoffs of Sterno stoves and the military, camping, and emergency solid-fuel stoves that abound.

They can be done with greatest simplicity with just two types of can openers, or we can go to town with tin snips to increase ease or rig cross-bar “grills” at the top.

Backing up Backups

Increasing redundancy in our disaster cooking increases our ability to weather absolutely any storm. That makes these guys a prepper must-have in my book.

Some methods also significantly reduce our observable footprint, which may end up a major benefit, and some are reasonable alternatives to heating up our kitchens even now. Most of these have easy, inexpensive DIY options, allowing everyone to build extra resiliency into their disaster plans.

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from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

[kurahieiritrjio]

World building

Sharing an old project based on an Ice Aged Greece to help focus the concepts here.

Believe it or not coloration is the greatest imagination grabber of all. It focuses the scene to provide the setting. Shape comes second. Lumpy, rounded, square, flat, twisted, gnarled, fuzzy, oval, squat, sloped, angular, and circular all give distinctive impressions of how something looks. How many shapes can you think of that describe rocks, tree limbs, cave mouths, faces and body builds. Animals and plants all have distinctive colors and features of shape that should be combined when you describe this element to give a breathtaking four dimensional feeling kind of setting to promote any written scene.

Here is a worksheet that is helpful to help you figure out your world, Example used is Ice Age Greece. Ignore the Futuristic tags since I devised those for my own worlds. This worksheet was designed for space travel obviously. However this will be helpful in explaining how your world is a character that all other characters must interact with at all times whether they realize it or not. In some cases I will also add notes for you to consider before you fill out that section.

 Generalized Outline- World Building Basics: Science Fiction

Astronomical/geological Section:

Planet Name:

Planet Class:  Moon, Super Terrestrial, Terrestrial (Earth like)sub-jovian, Jovian (Think Jupiter) Sub-terrestrial (Think Venus or Mars For Size):

If Terrestrial; Is it Like Earth Now, the Past, or Futuristic (very High tech):

How Is This Planet The Same or Different From Our Planet?

Type of Atmosphere?

Geography: Mountains/deserts/plains/woodlands/ Swamp/ Oceans, Etc. Physical Features Include Size/ Gravity/atmosphere/ Moon(S)/Sun Class: (F5 Lower Strength White Through F-9 Lowest- to G Class Yellow (Our Sun is in This Category= G1 to G9 (9 Is Weakest) or K Class (Red Dwarf Close to Death =Plot Added Drama)/ Constellations of Note:

Maps: Get Graph Paper and Build Your Own Maps or Buy Some D&d Type Maps and Then Do Mental Alterations or Chop and Pastes onto Larger Sheets to Create a Map to Help You See Where Your Characters Are Going to and Coming From! (No Matter What Genre You Are Writing it helps you to see the distances the characters cross so they don’t do 100 miles in a week at one time, then two hundred miles in one week somewhere else. Pace and Time Laws Do Not Change, and Therefore You Will Have to Give Space and Time References to Build a Good Story:

What Natural Resources Exist (Such as Mining Resources to Build Technology from If Applicable)? Yours will be stone/animal/flora heavy:

How Are These Resources Utilized by The Dominant Species Specifically?:

Climate: Distinct Seasons; Summer/winter/spring/ Fall/dry/wet/ & Types of Weather Patterns: Ie. Snow, Rain, Arid, Humid, Tropical:

Temperatures Expected Average Highs/Lows During Each Season:

Flora And Fauna Section:

Food Sources: What Do People And Animals on Planet Eat?

Domesticated Animals: Types of Livestock For Work or Food Can Your Planet Support Based Upon Geography And Climate?

What Types of Companion Animals or Pets Does Your World Have, If Any?

 Wild Animals:

What Kinds of Animals Does This Planet Support Naturally? How Do The Main People And Animals From The Wilderness Regions Interact? Are Wild Animals Carnivores, Omnivores, or Herbivores, or Some of Each Type? What Is The Food Chain Like? Ex: Herbivores Need Plants in Large Numbers to Eat So The Carnivores Can Eat Them And The Omnivores Eat Both Meat And Plants Aka Like Humans Do:

Are Any of These Wild Life Animals Intelligent Like Your Dominating Species Is Intelligent?

 People or Races Section:

Population Size:

World Population:

City Population: (Only Those Needed For Story Line):

Town Populations:

Village Populations:

Specific Race (S) of Note:

In What Ratios? (I. E.  30% White Skin, 15% Black Skin, 12% Blue Skin,  65% Green Skinned)

 Culture And Society:

Villages or Cities, Rural or Suburban, Inner-city Versus Outer-city (Think New York With Brooklyn And Other Suburbs For Inner Outer City Concept)

Language(s) Spoken:

Specific Cultural Aspects: (Hunter Gatherer/ Farmer/ Industrialized?)

Holidays, Celebrations, Rites of Passage, Family Traditions?

What Are The Most Important Festivals And Holidays?

How Important to Culture Are These Rituals And Holidays?

Behaviors Frowned Upon?

Behaviors Approved Of?

Word or Phrases Specific (Idioms) to The Region in Question?

Any Known Origins to The Words or Phrases Used by People of This Area?

Significance of Following Cultural Enrichment Forms:

Art:

Music:

Dance:

Entertainment:

Leisure Activities:

Dress/fashions:

What Forms Do These Items Take?

Gender Roles: Which Gender Is Dominant or Is There No Dominance at All?

How Does Society Enforce Those Gender  Roles Through Education, Through Expected Conformation of Roles Between The Two Genders?

Family Structure:

Who Raises And Teaches Children?

Who Cooks Meals by Tradition?

Do Extended Families Live Together or Is it Parents And Children Only in Each Dwelling?

Are There Different Types of Food Eaten in Different Social Classes or Unified to Region (Japanese Eat Stir Fry/ Americans Eat Steak And Potatoes as Example)

Social Class: Warrior/spiritual, Wealthy/working/poor/middle Class Etc:

Where Do Each Class of People Live And Do Their Dwellings Vary From Class to Class?

Do Clothing, Personal Items Such as Jewelry or Fashions Vary Based Upon Class And Wealth?

Do Hairstyles And Similar Things Vary by Class And What Types Are There? (Long or Short Hair? Beards or Mustaches Etc Go Here)

 Genealogy: Build Bloodline Maps For Visual Bloodline Traits And Such For Future Reference, Even If Not Mentioned in The Story Per Say, They Can Be Great Ways to Add Tension Based Upon Race And Other Background Hints You Don’t Go Into in Depth And They Make For Very Interesting Characters!

 Religion(s): )Major Notes) An example: Greece never followed the standard proto religious format of Gods created the world and Universe. They always felt the Universe created the Gods both male and female as mediators between Universe and man, plants, and animals. It was one of the very first cultures to embrace pantheons or multiple Gods belief system. That is the reason it still influences out modern world to this day. Instead of fatalistic driven human sacrifice to appease the Gods, these guys actively sought out more than one God to get the decision they wanted long before the classic era Mythology tomes of their ancient religion was passed into a physical written format. That needs to be shown in action to some extent. Have these people doing rudimentary rituals reminiscent of much later Classic era Ancient Greece religious ceremonies. Read classic Greek Mythology. The titans of earth and sky are the well known distinction that sets ancient Greece apart from the rest of the world.

This provides a very strong tool for making the story line zing if you explore the mythology for the oldest recorded roots, and downgrade the best known Grecian ancient rituals significantly into a more generic shamanic norm. Give clues to the later evolution into Greek specific rituals through your prototype religion which tickles memories of school classes that touched upon the classic era Greek in many schools. Then readers will really stick with your story because they will be desperately trying to figure out where the main is living.)

 One God or Many? Name Some And Denote Genders Implied:

Spiritual Philosophies:

Beliefs About Birth, Death, And Afterlife?:

Does Culture Condone Burial, Cremation, or Something Else?:

Why?:

Who Is in Charge of Places of Worship?:

Does This Place Have Magic Practices And If So How Does That Affect The World on a Planetary Wide Basis as Well as Locally?

How Does Religion in General Impact The World?

Will it Have Relevance in The Plot Line of The Story? Or Will it Simply Be a Low Key Element That Helps Define Character Behaviors in Story Line?:

Do Different Races Have Different Gods?

Does Technology And Religion Co-exist Peacefully or Are There Strong Conflicts Between The Two Factions?

(*myths from Religions Alive or Defunct/ History / and Politics Are Always Relevant to the Shaping of a Character’s Behavior and Actions!)

Architecture: Describe the houses and buildings with some interior details so we can see where everything is in relation to living quarters and/or communal get together areas.

 EDUCATION SECTION

What Levels of Education Exist on This Planet or in a Specific Area?  Give List of Educational Expected Forms Such as Home School to High School and College If Possible.

For my world Education system, who trains under which hall (This Is The Term For Schools Based Upon Highly Specific Technology, Medicine, Textiles, Political, Police, Computers or Space Travel in My Sci-fi Series Which Means Trained to become a Journeyman Level For The Particular Trade... It’s a Guild Based Trade Society Kind as You Can See....If You Choose Hall Style, Is Training Off Planet, or Planet Sponsored (For Home Planets With Resident Halls)

Give List of Halls And What They Train Help Insure Plot Consistencies And Add Details to Plots.

What Forms of Specialized Education Systems Exist If Any for your genre and expectations by readers?

 Time Section:

 What Calender or Other Methods of Measuring Time Exist? Include Clocks And Time Pieces, or Sun Dials, as Well as Give Some Form of Indication as to Whether or Not This Society Is Aware of Months And Years Passing. (All Technology Using Species Will Have Both Clocks And Calendars For Certain as Will Any Medieval Societies Have at Least Calenders If They Have Oceanic Shipping And Trade With Outside Races And Nations)

 Technology Section: (If in your case it is flint napping, and wood work, basket making and similar, you do need to have this down pat to be believable.)

Technology, Science And Jobs Section; Is Technology Eco Friendly or Industrial Pollutants Generating? Large City Complexes With Factories & Refineries, or Smaller Information Dominant Social Structures That Have Pleasant in Home Offices, Smaller Scientific Designated Areas Versus Agriculture Regions.

What Levels of Technology Exist on This World (Horse And Carts/ or Cars And Planes/ Space Ships And Higher?)

Communications Systems Include Mail, Phone or Other Forms of Vocal/written Communications. Are There High Tech Telephones or Is There a Mailing System? How Does it Work For Sending Info Like ‘Help, We’re Being Attacked! Send The Militia!’ How Does it Work If Calling Home to Say, “Hey Mom And Dad I’m Getting Married Next Week, or I Got That Great New Job!”?

Is Technology The Same Planet Wide or Only in Specific Regions?

Is Technology Distributed Based Upon Racial or Economic Factors or Equally Shared?

Is There a Technological Aspect That Will Have Significant Impact Upon The Story?

What Is The Major Forms of Transportation? (Horse And Carts/ or Cars And Planes/ Space Ships?)

How Does Technological Advances Shape These Forms of Transportation?

What Level of Technology For Weapons Where Applicable? (Forges/Assembly Lines/robot Workers as Examples)  

Are There Any Weapons Restrictions, And Are Those Restrictions Important to The Plot Line?

How Has The Technology (Or Magic) Helped to Build up or Destroy The Society That Uses It? Is it Still Helping to Build, or Destroy Its Users?

 Medical Section:

What Level of Medicine Exists?

Who Does The Healing?

What Technology Is Involved, If Any? (Shamans And Witches And Magic Users Would Use Herbs or Crystals)

If Technologically Advanced What Types of Medical Care Is Available to The People (Hospitals And Insurance Company Concepts  Go Here)

What Types of Diseases And Illnesses Are Common?

Are They Curable, or Lethal?

Who Cares For Sick Family Members With Non Lethal Colds?

 POLITICS SECTION:

Governmental Questionnaire:  

What Kind of Government(s)  Exist in This World? (Story Relevance Specific) (Politics Is Always Relevant to Some Degree in Every Story Line!!!)

Does Your Planet Have More Than One Government?

Sovereigns = King Queen, by Birth With Dukes And Lords

Democratically Elected= President And Congress as Example Elder’s Council,

Land Holders Council, Dictatorships, Ogliagarchy, Parliamentary (Limited Sovereign- Must Get Elected Groups Agreement to Do Certain Things) Militant (Yes it Is Different From Tyranny, A.k.a. Dictators),  Cooperative (A Lot Like Ogliagarchy, But a Smaller Group Making The Decisions),

How, & Why Did This Government Come About?

Diplomatic Corps) How Many? Any Special Training required?

How Are Relationships Between Countries? Are Any Currently at War With Each Other? If So, Why?

 Taxation

How Does it Work? Purchases Taxed Only, Land, Paychecks, Possessions, Birth Fees?

Taxes and Regulations upon Imports & Exports Where Applicable. Community Based Trade Without Taxation Such as a Village Would Be Seen as Normal. Trade? Name Some Imports, Exports (Look at Geography for Natural Resources to Come up with These Items- a Farming Community Will Trade Grain and Food Stuffs with More Industrialized Areas for Things like Forged Metal Goods Etc)

Are There Taxes on Imports and Exports?

Trade Section/

Large Mass Goods or Specialized Goods. Example, Are They Like Corroscant From Star Wars.. Must Import Food And Water to Survive.. Or Like Mon Calamari... Lots of Exports, Lesser Imports Due to Self Sufficiency. Export Raw Materials or Finished, or Refined Goods.  

How Are Goods Imported and Exported? (By Ship/truck/train/caravan/plane Etc...)

How Is Local; Trade Carried Out? (Barter May Exist in Local or a Credit Ledger You Pay off When Harvest Time Is Done as Example)

Economics:

What Types of Currency Is Used? (Money And Coins/ Credits or Plastic Cards/ or Implanted Chips/ Gems or Barter Forms (A Chicken For a Bag of Grain Example) Currency? What Are Denominations in Credit/ Money Forms For Your Planetary or Nations? Driads For Coalition as Example. If You Have Major Ports of Call Built Into Your System, You May Have a Star Grouping Form of Currency Such as Example Star Wars Driad, as Well as an Internal Set of Indigenous, or Planetary Specific Currency. Are the Monies Based on Metals, Papers, Fabrics, Jewels and Crystals, Microchips, Cards, or Barter?

Is There More than 1 Monetary System to Be Considered for this Story Line?

 LAW SECTION:

In Depth Judicial System: What Rules For Theft or Does This Species Idolize It? Violence (Warrior Species Will Probably Have Ritual Battles And Other Forms of Accepted Violence And Laws That Uphold Forms of Ritualized Violence)are There Laws For or Against Sex Crimes? Or Any Other Form of Judgement Ruled System Such as Divorce, Wills/probate, And Drug Slave Trade Laws or Bans Etc. And Who Enforces... Military <Militant Rule Government System> Private Security Groups (Hired by Government?) Regulation Trained Police or Law Enforcement Agency That Is Government Backed. Embezzlement, Fraud/perjury, Domestic Situations: I.e. Traffic Tickets/ Monetary Disputes., Lawsuits, You Get The Idea.

What Level of Law Enforcement Exists?

Is There a Structured Legal System Such as in America With Lawyers And Courts? Or Is it ‘Caught And Hung Same Day’ Variety (Antiquated/medieval) System?

Who Makes And Upholds The Laws of The Region?

What Are The Laws And The Consequences For Breaking Them?

 Basic History:

Any Major Wars? Inter-species to Interplanetary?  More Than One Country/nation And Governmental Styles Will Have a Past War History. First Space Voyage, Famous Treaties or Constitutions With Who Signed And Why? These Are Good to Make Obscure References to in Novels That Take Place Elsewhere If Only to Remind The Reader of The Exotic Setting Without Having to Bash Readers Over The Head. Major Holidays, Interplanetary And Galactic? Design a General Interspecies Calender, or National Holiday Calender Depending on The Genre Writing. History World and Local

Wars of Significance?

Treaties of Significance?

Major Discoveries That Have Altered History

Natural Disasters, and Other Events That Have Altered History?

Are These Histories Directly Affecting Your Story Overtly, or Simply Shaping Character Behaviors (Same as Religion)

If Important to Main Story List Some Ways it Will Affect the Characters and Story Line Potentially.

History of Interactions Between Different Societies?

Important Historical Figures That Influence a Culture or Society? In Example:  Religions Created By, Governments Designed By? Laws That Make Differences? Metals Found and Forged for First Time? (You Get the Idea Here)

 MISC POSSIBILITIES

Military.. Draft Based or Volunteer Corps? Paid a Good Wage/ Poor Wage? Does This World Have Sets of Treaties to Provide Troops in Time of Crisis in Example  Coalition Sponsored or Local Provisions Such as Lord Calling on Vassals, or Do They Have Full Time Experienced And Trained Army or Similar Liberation Intentioned Forces? Example : Major Ports And Military Platforms Paid For by Coalition Agreements in Return For Skills Such as Tech Support, Housing For Warriors, Docking/repair Platforms in Space Etc...(Sci Fi Examples)

 For Fantasy Only Section:

Magic:

If There Is Magic on this World Is There More than 1 Type of Magic (Type Is Healing or Warrior, or Holy Relic Making, or Getting from One Place to Another in Examples)

How Does Magic Work in Your World? Cast and Get Immediate Results or Cast and Wait, or Perhaps You Need a Power Object to Do Anything at All.

What Are the Limitations of Magic? (Example Magic Might Not Work to Resurrect the Dead, but it Might Be Able to Recreate an Arm If You Lose One in a Fight)

What Magic Taboos Exist? (I.e. Creating a Frankenstein Would Be a Taboo in Many Cultures):

[oliverpdaniel]

Advent of Code 2020: A (very timely and not late at all) Reflection on Days 15-25

...Um. Oops?

Honestly, everything has been happening so much lately, I'm not super frustrated that it's been a clean month between finishing these puzzles and commenting on them. During these weeks, along with finally finishing my first-ever Advent of Code (as did my roommate! Well done, buddy.), I also wrapped up my second semester in quarantine, including a few brutal final projects and exams. After a nail-biting few weeks of awaiting grades, I finally had the confidence to withdraw for the second semester, and to begin hunting for work. (If you're reading this and I'm not hired yet, hire me!)

Anyway, the obvious downside to the sheer magnitude of the delay is that most of these puzzles aren't super fresh in my head, and thus my commentaries may not be as detailed as I would like. Hey - if I ever get such a massive executive-dysfunction-killing buzz as I did over the winter break to finally clean and redecorate my room, maybe I'll revisit these too.

Day 15: Now we're seeing some REAL slowness! The primary data structure for both parts here was the dictionary, mapping "seen" (spoken) numbers to the last turn on which they were spoken. That being said, I don't know what I was thinking in Part 1, with code like this:

Code ``` for k in seen.keys(): seen[k] += 1 ```

As soon as I saw the spicy thirty million in Part 2, I knew my naive solution wouldn't even touch it. [1] I had to do my least favourite thing - off-by-one debugging, but I ultimately came up with a relatively clever insight:

Spoilers Storing not just the last turn on which a number was spoken, but the last *two* numbers (if they exist). Doing this allows for a three-case scenario, for some current number `curr`: 1. `seen[curr]` is empty or doesn't exist. This is the base case of a new number; output 0, as stated in the problem. 2. `seen[curr]` has 1 value. It's only been seen once, so we can calculate the number of turns since it was last seen. 3. `seen[curr]` has 2 values. This number has been seen twice, so we can simply subtract the first- and second-most recent turn numbers to get the gap between them!

This problem took a bit of fiddling, but runs okay. Python really shows its ugly side here, as even a fairly efficient solution like this one, using efficient data structures, takes quite a while on Part 2.

Day 16: Boy oh boy. I spent far too long on this one, and perhaps if there are any to revisit for a future post, it's this one. My solution for this one features no less than:

regex;

closure functions;

constraint satisfaction;

functions that return tuples of variable length; and

walrus operators.

I consider this problem a 'sweat' for future years; I learned a lot about what makes constraint-satisfaction engines tick, and how it's important to assign constraints to the smallest possible element of a search space (here a column, rather than an entire permutation of columns). I think there's a much more concise and semantic way of outlining this problem, that lets the solver do much more of the work than I did.

Day 17: Not much to say here; it's a cellular automaton with extra for loops. I'll share two cute things that I'm proud of:

Spoilers 1. I experimented with various thresholds for the size of the 'infinite' space, making specifically sure not to to index checks, so that I could have the smallest possible subspace to check over. I ended up settling on a value of `20` units in each direction from: 2. the origin I specified, which is simply `LIMIT // 2 - H // 2` (where `H` is just the dimension of the input grid).

My roommate complained that it took him a long time to parse and understand the problem; I'll confess that I barely read it. I guess that's the advantage of experience, in that I saw "Conway" and "space" and knew immediately what needed to be done.

I didn't do anything special for Part 2; it's just my Part 1 code, copied and pasted, with an extra for loop here and a variable there. sum(sum(sum(sum())))s for everyone!

Day 18: I think that, out of all 49 unique problems in this year's Advent of Code, I'm most proud of my solution to this one. It's (relatively) fast; the code is pretty easy to read and works for both parts (and more! [2]); and I came up with a solution before knowing the name for what I had built. (Update: it's a shift-reduce parser. Hooray for stacks!) One especially cute thing, that incidentally ended up defining my approach to a lot of the later problems, was

Spoilers creating a lookup table between a certain input symbol, here math operators, and an internal function, here the builtin `int` math functors. This allowed for a dead-simple evaluator function, for when the top of the stack was ready to be converted from an expression to a workable number. Also, I had the bright idea to recursively evaluate bracketed expressions, in such a way that an expression like `(((1 + 2)))` would quickly reduce down to `1 + 2` before the rest of the parser got to it.

Day 19: Aaaaaaaaargh! Herein begin the Two Days of Terror - the two hardest problems. Lucky I had returned from my partner's by now, as I think they would have been quite upset with how much I was ignoring them to code. After solving Part 1 in the morning I finally finished Part 2 at around 7pm, having forgotten to otherwise eat or attack my household responsibilities, and only after my roommate sat down with me and pair-programmed for a while. This one stung the most, because... I'm a linguist, for crying out loud! No generative grammar problem, especially ones over a finite search space like this, should be causing me such grief.

Day 20: I am still emotionally recovering from this problem. My roommate somehow managed to get both parts to run instantly, using the most cursed CSP setup I've ever seen. I still need to study his code better to understand just how he did it. Also, his usage of scientific Python packages finally shows its rewards, as convolution over a matrix is a friggin' builtin function. Grr.

Day 21: I consider this day an apology for the previous Days of Terror. Some fun, but not terribly difficult, set-fu. My relative inexperience with set theory shows its stripes here; I'm sure there are much more semantically sound ways of accomplishing what I tried to do here (e.g., manually removing an allergen from each ingredient's list of hypotheses once it was confirmed to go with a certain ingredient).

Day 22: Spicy spicy numbers! It would have served me much better to read the instructions before starting, as then I would have known that

Spoilers in Part 2, players don't take their entire deck with them. Since, y'know, that would just cause an infinite race to the bottom.

Day 23: Even spicier numbers! If you're going to be cute like me and establish 9 as a constant, make sure that you don't use it in Part 2 when constructing the initial circle, or you'll wonder why 9,999,990 of the cups aren't attached to anything.

Day 24: I couldn't sleep, so I solved this problem at 3 in the morning. Not going to lie, a little disappointing for a penultimate problem, especially Part 2. Part 1 required at least a modicum of cleverness to develop a meaningful coordinate system, but then Part 2 just felt like a relative rehash of the Conway Cubes problem. 3 cellular automaton problems out of 25 is a little bit much, considering how formulaic they can be.

Day 25: As true evidence of how much I learned over this Advent of Code, I was able to finish Day 25 on the couch without even bothering my partner. Utilizing what I had learned about pow made defining the transform (i.e., repeated multiplication and mod) incredibly easy. Though, I did get a little bit lucky, due to a small oversight in problem setting...

Spoilers Rather than having to generate and test a whole bunch of different pairs of loop sizes for the card and the door, it turns out that if you `zip` together two streams of all such valid loop sizes for the card and door, respectively, the correct size for both (i.e, the solution) appears at the same time; for me, just the second such pair of sizes.

Day 25 Part 2, as always, was a delight and a pleasure. If you've never clicked that final button before, crack open a text editor and start solving challenges until you can. It's deeply satisfying.

I cannot sufficiently express my gratitude to the entire AoC team, setters, testers, and maintainers alike, for all that they do. A daily stream of bite-sized (or, sometimes, sea-monster-sized) challenges is just what I need to keep me going, and my skills sharp, over the dreary holiday season. Especially in a year like this, it was just what I needed to keep me moving, motivated, and thinking about code. I can't wait for next year's challenges and, hopefully, I'll convince the roomies to do it with me again.

Sorry about the little delay, and the relative lack of detail. But, the enemy of perfect is good enough. If you're reading these at some point in the distal future, I hope you've enjoyed watching my journey through these problems, and maybe learned a little bit about what it means to think like a programmer. Thanks for tuning in!

[1]: I tried it anyway; it obviously didn't work. And, once my roommate turned me onto tqdm, I was able to see just how long before the Heat Death of the Universe for it to run. It was about 3 days. Lol.

[2]: The way I constructed the code, it would be extremely easy to add in the remaining integer operations.

[epackingvietnam]

My 8 Best Local SEO Tips for the 2020 Holidays

Posted by MiriamEllis



Image credit: DoSchu

“No place like home for the holidays.” This will be the refrain for the majority of your customers as we reach 2020’s peak shopping season. I can’t think of another year in which it’s been more important for local businesses to plan and implement a seasonal marketing strategy extra early, to connect up with customers who will be traveling less and seeking ways to celebrate at home.

Recently, it’s become trendy in multiple countries to try to capture the old Danish spirit of hygge, which the OED defines as: A quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.

While this sometimes-elusive state of being isn’t something you can buy direct from a store, and while some shoppers are still unfamiliar with hygge by name, many will be trying to create it at home this year. Denmark buys more candles than any other nation, and across Scandinavia, fondness for flowers, warming foods, cozy drinks, and time with loved ones characterizes the work of weaving a gentle web of happiness into even the darkest of winters.

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

1) Survey customers now and provide what they want

Reasonably-priced survey software is worth every penny in 2020. For as little as $20/month, your local business can understand exactly how much your customers’ needs have changed this past year by surveying:

Which products locals are having trouble locating

Which products/services they most want for the holidays

Which method of shopping/delivery would be most convenient for them

Which hours of operation would be most helpful

Which safety measures are must-haves for them to transact with a business

Which payment methods are current top choices

Doubtless, you can think of many questions like these to help you glean the most possible insight into local needs. Poll your customer email/text database and keep your surveys on the short side to avoid abandonment.

Don’t have the necessary tools to poll people at-the-ready? Check out Zapier’s roundup of the 10 Best Online Survey Apps in 2020 and craft a concise survey geared to deliver insights into customers’ wishes.

2) Put your company’s whole heart into affinity

If I could gift every local business owner with a mantra to carry them through not just the 2020 holiday shopping season, but into 2021, it would be this:

It’s not enough to have customers discover my brand — I need them to like my brand.

Chances are, you can call to mind some brands of which you’re highly aware but would never shop with because they don’t meet your personal or business standards in some way. You’ve discovered these brands, but you don’t like them. In 2020, you may even have silently or overtly boycotted them.

On the opposite side of this scenario are the local brands you love. I can wax poetic about my local independent grocery store, stocking its shelves with sustainable products from local farmers, flying its Black Lives Matter and LGBTQ+ flags with pride from its storefront, and treating every customer like a cherished neighbor.

For many years, our SEO industry has put great effort into and emphasis on the discovery phase of the consumer journey, but my little country-town grocer has gone leaps and bounds beyond this by demonstrating affinity with the things my household cares about. The owners can consider us lifetime loyal customers for the ways they are going above-and-beyond in terms of empathy, diversity, and care for our community.

I vigorously encourage your business to put customer-brand affinity at the heart of its holiday strategy. Brainstorm how you can make meaningful changes that declare your company’s commitment to being part of the work of positive social change.

3) Be as accessible and communicative as possible

Once you’ve accomplished the above two goals, open the lines of communication about what your brand offers and the people-friendly aspects of how you operate across as many of the following as possible:

Website

Local business listings

Email

Social channels

Forms

Texts/Messaging

Phone on-hold marketing

Storefront and in-store signage

Local news, radio, and TV media

In my 17 years as a local SEO, I can confidently say that local business listings have never been a greater potential asset than they will be this holiday season. Google My Business listings, in particular, are an interface that can answer almost any customer who-what-where-when-why — if your business is managing these properly, whether manually or via software like Moz Local.

Anywhere a customer might be looking for what you offer, be there with accurate and abundant information about identity, location, hours of operation, policies, culture, and offerings. From setting special hours for each of your locations, to embracing Google Posts to microblog holiday content, to ensuring your website and social profiles are publicizing your USP, make your biggest communications effort ever this year.

At the same time, be sure you’re meeting Google’s mobile-friendly standards, and that your website is ADA-compliant so that no customer is left out. Provide a fast, intuitive, and inclusive experience to keep customers engaged.

With the pandemic necessitating social distancing, make the Internet your workhorse for connecting up with and provisioning your community as much as you can.

4) Embrace local e-commerce and product listings

Digital Commerce 360 has done a good job charting the 30%+ rise in online sales in the first half or 2020, largely resulting from the pandemic. The same publication summarizes the collective 19% leap in traffic to North America’s largest retailers. At the local business level, implementing even basic e-commerce function in advance of the holiday season could make a major difference, if you can find the most-desired methods of delivery. These could include:

Buy-online, pick up in-store (BOPIS)

Buy-online, pick up curbside

Buy online for postal delivery

Buy online for direct home delivery by in-house or third-party drivers

Here’s an extensive comparison of popular e-commerce solutions, including which ones have free trials, and the e-commerce column of the Moz blog is a free library of expert advice on optimizing digital sales.

Put your products everywhere you can. Don’t forget that this past April, Google surprised everybody by offering free product listings, and that they also recently acquired the Pointy device, which lets you transform scanned barcodes into online inventory pages.

Additionally, in mid-September, Google took their next big product-related step by adding a “nearby” filter to Google Shopping, taking us closer and closer to the search engine becoming a source for real-time local inventory, as I’ve been predicting here in my column for several years.

Implement the public safety protocols that review research from GatherUp shows consumers are demanding, get your inventory onto the web, identify the most convenient ways to get purchases from your storefront into the customer’s hands, and your efforts could pave the way for increased Q4 profits.

5) Reinvent window shopping with QR codes

“How can I do what I want to do?” asked Jennifer Bolin, owner of Clover Toys in Seattle.

What she wanted to do was use her storefront window to sell merchandise to patrons who were no longer able to walk into her store. When a staff member mentioned that you could use a QR code generator like this one to load inventory onto pedestrians’ cell phones, she decided to give it a try.

Just a generation or two ago, many Americans cherished the tradition of going to town or heading downtown to enjoy the lavish holiday window displays crafted by local retailers. The mercantile goal of this form of entertainment was to entice passersby indoors for a shopping spree. It’s time to bring this back in 2020, with the twist of labeling products with QR codes and pairing them with desirable methods of delivery, whether through a drive-up window, curbside, or delivery.

“We’ve even gotten late night sales,” Bolin told me when I spoke with her after my colleague Rob Ousbey pointed out this charming and smart independent retail shop to me.

If your business locations are in good areas for foot traffic, think of how a 24/7 asset like an actionable, goodie-packed window display could boost your sales.

6) Tie in with DIY, and consider kits

With so many customers housebound, anything your business can do to support activities and deliver supplies for domestic merrymaking is worth considering. Can your business tie in with decorating, baking, cooking, crafting, handmade gift-giving, home entertainment, or related themes? If so, create video tutorials, blog posts, GMB posts, social media tips, or other content to engage a local audience.

One complaint I am encountering frequently is that shoppers are feeling tired trying to piecemeal together components from the internet for something they want to make or do. Unsurprisingly, many people are longing for the days when they could leisurely browse local businesses in-person, taking inspiration from their hands-on interaction with merchandise. I think kits could offer a stopgap solution in some cases. If relevant to your business, consider bundling items that could provide everything a household needs to:

Prepare a special holiday meal

Bake treats

Outfit a yard for winter play

Trim a tree or decorate a home

Build a fire

Create a night of fun for children of various age groups

Dress appropriately for warmth and safety, based on region

Create a handmade gift, craft, or garment

Winter prep a home or vehicle

Create a complete home spa/health/beauty experience

Plant a spring garden

Kits could be a welcome all-in-one resource for many shoppers. Determine whether your brand has the components to offer one.

7) Manage reviews meticulously

Free, near-real-time quality control data from your holiday efforts can most easily be found in your review profiles. Use software like Moz Local to keep a running tally of your incoming new reviews, or assign a staff member at each location of your business to monitor your local business profiles daily for any complaints or questions.

If you can quickly solve problems people cite in their reviews, your chances are good of retaining the customer and demonstrating responsiveness to all your profiles’ visitors. You may even find that reviews turn up additional, unmet local needs your formal survey missed. Acting quickly to fulfill these requests could win you additional business in Q4 and beyond.

8) Highly publicize one extra reason to shop local this year

“72% of respondents...are likely or very likely to continue to shop at independent stores, either locally or online, above larger retailers such as Amazon.” — Bazaarvoice

I highly recommend reading the entire survey of 12,000 global respondents by Bazaarvoice, quantifying how substantially shopping behaviors have changed in 2020. It’s very good news for local business owners that so many customers want to keep transacting with nearby independents, but the Amazon dilemma remains.

Above, we discussed the fatigue that can result from trying to cobble together a bunch of different resources to check everything off a shopping list. This can drive people to online “everything stores”, in the same way that department stores, supermarkets, and malls have historically drawn in shoppers with the promise of convenience.

A question every local brand should do their best to ask and answer in the runup to the holidays is: What’s to prevent my community from simply taking their whole holiday shopping list to Amazon, or Walmart, or Target this year?

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

My completely personal answer to this question is that I want my town’s local business district, with its local flavor and diversity of shops, to still be there after a vaccine is hopefully developed for COVID-19. But that’s just me. Inspiring your customers’ allegiance to keeping your business going might be best supported by publicizing some of the following:

The economic, societal, and mental health benefits proven to stem from the presence of small, local businesses in a community.

Your philanthropic tie-ins, such as generating a percentage of sales to worthy local causes — there are so many ways to contribute this year.

The historic role your business has played in making your community a good place to live, particularly if your brand is an older, well-established one. I hear nostalgia is a strong influencer in 2020, and old images of your community and company through the years could be engaging content.

Any recent improvements you’ve made to ensure fast home delivery, whether by postal mail or via local drivers who can get gifts right to people’s doors.

Uplifting content that simply makes the day a bit brighter for a shopper. We’re all looking for a little extra support these days to keep our spirits bright.

Be intentional about maximizing local publicity of your “extra reason” to shop with you. Your local newspaper is doubtless running a stream of commentary about the economic picture in your city, and if your special efforts are newsworthy, a few mentions could do you a lot of good.

Don’t underestimate just how reliant people have become on the recommendations of friends, family, and online platforms for sourcing even the basics of life these days. In my own circle, everyone is now regularly telling everyone else where to find items from hand sanitizer to decent potatoes. Networking will be happening around gifts, too, so anything you get noticed for could support extensive word-of-mouth information sharing.

I want to close by thanking you for being in or marketing businesses that will help us all celebrate the many upcoming holidays in our own ways. Your efforts are appreciated, and I’m wishing you a peaceful, profitable, and hyggelig finish to 2020.

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

#túi_giấy_epacking_việt_nam #túi_giấy_epacking #in_túi_giấy_giá_rẻ #in_túi_giấy #epackingvietnam #tuigiayepacking

[bfxenon]

My 8 Best Local SEO Tips for the 2020 Holidays

Posted by MiriamEllis



Image credit: DoSchu

“No place like home for the holidays.” This will be the refrain for the majority of your customers as we reach 2020’s peak shopping season. I can’t think of another year in which it’s been more important for local businesses to plan and implement a seasonal marketing strategy extra early, to connect up with customers who will be traveling less and seeking ways to celebrate at home.

Recently, it’s become trendy in multiple countries to try to capture the old Danish spirit of hygge, which the OED defines as: A quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.

While this sometimes-elusive state of being isn’t something you can buy direct from a store, and while some shoppers are still unfamiliar with hygge by name, many will be trying to create it at home this year. Denmark buys more candles than any other nation, and across Scandinavia, fondness for flowers, warming foods, cozy drinks, and time with loved ones characterizes the work of weaving a gentle web of happiness into even the darkest of winters.

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

1) Survey customers now and provide what they want

Reasonably-priced survey software is worth every penny in 2020. For as little as $20/month, your local business can understand exactly how much your customers’ needs have changed this past year by surveying:

Which products locals are having trouble locating

Which products/services they most want for the holidays

Which method of shopping/delivery would be most convenient for them

Which hours of operation would be most helpful

Which safety measures are must-haves for them to transact with a business

Which payment methods are current top choices

Doubtless, you can think of many questions like these to help you glean the most possible insight into local needs. Poll your customer email/text database and keep your surveys on the short side to avoid abandonment.

Don’t have the necessary tools to poll people at-the-ready? Check out Zapier’s roundup of the 10 Best Online Survey Apps in 2020 and craft a concise survey geared to deliver insights into customers’ wishes.

2) Put your company’s whole heart into affinity

If I could gift every local business owner with a mantra to carry them through not just the 2020 holiday shopping season, but into 2021, it would be this:

It’s not enough to have customers discover my brand — I need them to like my brand.

Chances are, you can call to mind some brands of which you’re highly aware but would never shop with because they don’t meet your personal or business standards in some way. You’ve discovered these brands, but you don’t like them. In 2020, you may even have silently or overtly boycotted them.

On the opposite side of this scenario are the local brands you love. I can wax poetic about my local independent grocery store, stocking its shelves with sustainable products from local farmers, flying its Black Lives Matter and LGBTQ+ flags with pride from its storefront, and treating every customer like a cherished neighbor.

For many years, our SEO industry has put great effort into and emphasis on the discovery phase of the consumer journey, but my little country-town grocer has gone leaps and bounds beyond this by demonstrating affinity with the things my household cares about. The owners can consider us lifetime loyal customers for the ways they are going above-and-beyond in terms of empathy, diversity, and care for our community.

I vigorously encourage your business to put customer-brand affinity at the heart of its holiday strategy. Brainstorm how you can make meaningful changes that declare your company’s commitment to being part of the work of positive social change.

3) Be as accessible and communicative as possible

Once you’ve accomplished the above two goals, open the lines of communication about what your brand offers and the people-friendly aspects of how you operate across as many of the following as possible:

Website

Local business listings

Email

Social channels

Forms

Texts/Messaging

Phone on-hold marketing

Storefront and in-store signage

Local news, radio, and TV media

In my 17 years as a local SEO, I can confidently say that local business listings have never been a greater potential asset than they will be this holiday season. Google My Business listings, in particular, are an interface that can answer almost any customer who-what-where-when-why — if your business is managing these properly, whether manually or via software like Moz Local.

Anywhere a customer might be looking for what you offer, be there with accurate and abundant information about identity, location, hours of operation, policies, culture, and offerings. From setting special hours for each of your locations, to embracing Google Posts to microblog holiday content, to ensuring your website and social profiles are publicizing your USP, make your biggest communications effort ever this year.

At the same time, be sure you’re meeting Google’s mobile-friendly standards, and that your website is ADA-compliant so that no customer is left out. Provide a fast, intuitive, and inclusive experience to keep customers engaged.

With the pandemic necessitating social distancing, make the Internet your workhorse for connecting up with and provisioning your community as much as you can.

4) Embrace local e-commerce and product listings

Digital Commerce 360 has done a good job charting the 30%+ rise in online sales in the first half or 2020, largely resulting from the pandemic. The same publication summarizes the collective 19% leap in traffic to North America’s largest retailers. At the local business level, implementing even basic e-commerce function in advance of the holiday season could make a major difference, if you can find the most-desired methods of delivery. These could include:

Buy-online, pick up in-store (BOPIS)

Buy-online, pick up curbside

Buy online for postal delivery

Buy online for direct home delivery by in-house or third-party drivers

Here’s an extensive comparison of popular e-commerce solutions, including which ones have free trials, and the e-commerce column of the Moz blog is a free library of expert advice on optimizing digital sales.

Put your products everywhere you can. Don’t forget that this past April, Google surprised everybody by offering free product listings, and that they also recently acquired the Pointy device, which lets you transform scanned barcodes into online inventory pages.

Additionally, in mid-September, Google took their next big product-related step by adding a “nearby” filter to Google Shopping, taking us closer and closer to the search engine becoming a source for real-time local inventory, as I’ve been predicting here in my column for several years.

Implement the public safety protocols that review research from GatherUp shows consumers are demanding, get your inventory onto the web, identify the most convenient ways to get purchases from your storefront into the customer’s hands, and your efforts could pave the way for increased Q4 profits.

5) Reinvent window shopping with QR codes

“How can I do what I want to do?” asked Jennifer Bolin, owner of Clover Toys in Seattle.

What she wanted to do was use her storefront window to sell merchandise to patrons who were no longer able to walk into her store. When a staff member mentioned that you could use a QR code generator like this one to load inventory onto pedestrians’ cell phones, she decided to give it a try.

Just a generation or two ago, many Americans cherished the tradition of going to town or heading downtown to enjoy the lavish holiday window displays crafted by local retailers. The mercantile goal of this form of entertainment was to entice passersby indoors for a shopping spree. It’s time to bring this back in 2020, with the twist of labeling products with QR codes and pairing them with desirable methods of delivery, whether through a drive-up window, curbside, or delivery.

“We’ve even gotten late night sales,” Bolin told me when I spoke with her after my colleague Rob Ousbey pointed out this charming and smart independent retail shop to me.

If your business locations are in good areas for foot traffic, think of how a 24/7 asset like an actionable, goodie-packed window display could boost your sales.

6) Tie in with DIY, and consider kits

With so many customers housebound, anything your business can do to support activities and deliver supplies for domestic merrymaking is worth considering. Can your business tie in with decorating, baking, cooking, crafting, handmade gift-giving, home entertainment, or related themes? If so, create video tutorials, blog posts, GMB posts, social media tips, or other content to engage a local audience.

One complaint I am encountering frequently is that shoppers are feeling tired trying to piecemeal together components from the internet for something they want to make or do. Unsurprisingly, many people are longing for the days when they could leisurely browse local businesses in-person, taking inspiration from their hands-on interaction with merchandise. I think kits could offer a stopgap solution in some cases. If relevant to your business, consider bundling items that could provide everything a household needs to:

Prepare a special holiday meal

Bake treats

Outfit a yard for winter play

Trim a tree or decorate a home

Build a fire

Create a night of fun for children of various age groups

Dress appropriately for warmth and safety, based on region

Create a handmade gift, craft, or garment

Winter prep a home or vehicle

Create a complete home spa/health/beauty experience

Plant a spring garden

Kits could be a welcome all-in-one resource for many shoppers. Determine whether your brand has the components to offer one.

7) Manage reviews meticulously

Free, near-real-time quality control data from your holiday efforts can most easily be found in your review profiles. Use software like Moz Local to keep a running tally of your incoming new reviews, or assign a staff member at each location of your business to monitor your local business profiles daily for any complaints or questions.

If you can quickly solve problems people cite in their reviews, your chances are good of retaining the customer and demonstrating responsiveness to all your profiles’ visitors. You may even find that reviews turn up additional, unmet local needs your formal survey missed. Acting quickly to fulfill these requests could win you additional business in Q4 and beyond.

8) Highly publicize one extra reason to shop local this year

“72% of respondents...are likely or very likely to continue to shop at independent stores, either locally or online, above larger retailers such as Amazon.” — Bazaarvoice

I highly recommend reading the entire survey of 12,000 global respondents by Bazaarvoice, quantifying how substantially shopping behaviors have changed in 2020. It’s very good news for local business owners that so many customers want to keep transacting with nearby independents, but the Amazon dilemma remains.

Above, we discussed the fatigue that can result from trying to cobble together a bunch of different resources to check everything off a shopping list. This can drive people to online “everything stores”, in the same way that department stores, supermarkets, and malls have historically drawn in shoppers with the promise of convenience.

A question every local brand should do their best to ask and answer in the runup to the holidays is: What’s to prevent my community from simply taking their whole holiday shopping list to Amazon, or Walmart, or Target this year?

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

My completely personal answer to this question is that I want my town’s local business district, with its local flavor and diversity of shops, to still be there after a vaccine is hopefully developed for COVID-19. But that’s just me. Inspiring your customers’ allegiance to keeping your business going might be best supported by publicizing some of the following:

The economic, societal, and mental health benefits proven to stem from the presence of small, local businesses in a community.

Your philanthropic tie-ins, such as generating a percentage of sales to worthy local causes — there are so many ways to contribute this year.

The historic role your business has played in making your community a good place to live, particularly if your brand is an older, well-established one. I hear nostalgia is a strong influencer in 2020, and old images of your community and company through the years could be engaging content.

Any recent improvements you’ve made to ensure fast home delivery, whether by postal mail or via local drivers who can get gifts right to people’s doors.

Uplifting content that simply makes the day a bit brighter for a shopper. We’re all looking for a little extra support these days to keep our spirits bright.

Be intentional about maximizing local publicity of your “extra reason” to shop with you. Your local newspaper is doubtless running a stream of commentary about the economic picture in your city, and if your special efforts are newsworthy, a few mentions could do you a lot of good.

Don’t underestimate just how reliant people have become on the recommendations of friends, family, and online platforms for sourcing even the basics of life these days. In my own circle, everyone is now regularly telling everyone else where to find items from hand sanitizer to decent potatoes. Networking will be happening around gifts, too, so anything you get noticed for could support extensive word-of-mouth information sharing.

I want to close by thanking you for being in or marketing businesses that will help us all celebrate the many upcoming holidays in our own ways. Your efforts are appreciated, and I’m wishing you a peaceful, profitable, and hyggelig finish to 2020.

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[localwebmgmt]

My 8 Best Local SEO Tips for the 2020 Holidays

Posted by MiriamEllis



Image credit: DoSchu

“No place like home for the holidays.” This will be the refrain for the majority of your customers as we reach 2020’s peak shopping season. I can’t think of another year in which it’s been more important for local businesses to plan and implement a seasonal marketing strategy extra early, to connect up with customers who will be traveling less and seeking ways to celebrate at home.

Recently, it’s become trendy in multiple countries to try to capture the old Danish spirit of hygge, which the OED defines as: A quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.

While this sometimes-elusive state of being isn’t something you can buy direct from a store, and while some shoppers are still unfamiliar with hygge by name, many will be trying to create it at home this year. Denmark buys more candles than any other nation, and across Scandinavia, fondness for flowers, warming foods, cozy drinks, and time with loved ones characterizes the work of weaving a gentle web of happiness into even the darkest of winters.

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

1) Survey customers now and provide what they want

Reasonably-priced survey software is worth every penny in 2020. For as little as $20/month, your local business can understand exactly how much your customers’ needs have changed this past year by surveying:

Which products locals are having trouble locating

Which products/services they most want for the holidays

Which method of shopping/delivery would be most convenient for them

Which hours of operation would be most helpful

Which safety measures are must-haves for them to transact with a business

Which payment methods are current top choices

Doubtless, you can think of many questions like these to help you glean the most possible insight into local needs. Poll your customer email/text database and keep your surveys on the short side to avoid abandonment.

Don’t have the necessary tools to poll people at-the-ready? Check out Zapier’s roundup of the 10 Best Online Survey Apps in 2020 and craft a concise survey geared to deliver insights into customers’ wishes.

2) Put your company’s whole heart into affinity

If I could gift every local business owner with a mantra to carry them through not just the 2020 holiday shopping season, but into 2021, it would be this:

It’s not enough to have customers discover my brand — I need them to like my brand.

Chances are, you can call to mind some brands of which you’re highly aware but would never shop with because they don’t meet your personal or business standards in some way. You’ve discovered these brands, but you don’t like them. In 2020, you may even have silently or overtly boycotted them.

On the opposite side of this scenario are the local brands you love. I can wax poetic about my local independent grocery store, stocking its shelves with sustainable products from local farmers, flying its Black Lives Matter and LGBTQ+ flags with pride from its storefront, and treating every customer like a cherished neighbor.

For many years, our SEO industry has put great effort into and emphasis on the discovery phase of the consumer journey, but my little country-town grocer has gone leaps and bounds beyond this by demonstrating affinity with the things my household cares about. The owners can consider us lifetime loyal customers for the ways they are going above-and-beyond in terms of empathy, diversity, and care for our community.

I vigorously encourage your business to put customer-brand affinity at the heart of its holiday strategy. Brainstorm how you can make meaningful changes that declare your company’s commitment to being part of the work of positive social change.

3) Be as accessible and communicative as possible

Once you’ve accomplished the above two goals, open the lines of communication about what your brand offers and the people-friendly aspects of how you operate across as many of the following as possible:

Website

Local business listings

Email

Social channels

Forms

Texts/Messaging

Phone on-hold marketing

Storefront and in-store signage

Local news, radio, and TV media

In my 17 years as a local SEO, I can confidently say that local business listings have never been a greater potential asset than they will be this holiday season. Google My Business listings, in particular, are an interface that can answer almost any customer who-what-where-when-why — if your business is managing these properly, whether manually or via software like Moz Local.

Anywhere a customer might be looking for what you offer, be there with accurate and abundant information about identity, location, hours of operation, policies, culture, and offerings. From setting special hours for each of your locations, to embracing Google Posts to microblog holiday content, to ensuring your website and social profiles are publicizing your USP, make your biggest communications effort ever this year.

At the same time, be sure you’re meeting Google’s mobile-friendly standards, and that your website is ADA-compliant so that no customer is left out. Provide a fast, intuitive, and inclusive experience to keep customers engaged.

With the pandemic necessitating social distancing, make the Internet your workhorse for connecting up with and provisioning your community as much as you can.

4) Embrace local e-commerce and product listings

Digital Commerce 360 has done a good job charting the 30%+ rise in online sales in the first half or 2020, largely resulting from the pandemic. The same publication summarizes the collective 19% leap in traffic to North America’s largest retailers. At the local business level, implementing even basic e-commerce function in advance of the holiday season could make a major difference, if you can find the most-desired methods of delivery. These could include:

Buy-online, pick up in-store (BOPIS)

Buy-online, pick up curbside

Buy online for postal delivery

Buy online for direct home delivery by in-house or third-party drivers

Here’s an extensive comparison of popular e-commerce solutions, including which ones have free trials, and the e-commerce column of the Moz blog is a free library of expert advice on optimizing digital sales.

Put your products everywhere you can. Don’t forget that this past April, Google surprised everybody by offering free product listings, and that they also recently acquired the Pointy device, which lets you transform scanned barcodes into online inventory pages.

Additionally, in mid-September, Google took their next big product-related step by adding a “nearby” filter to Google Shopping, taking us closer and closer to the search engine becoming a source for real-time local inventory, as I’ve been predicting here in my column for several years.

Implement the public safety protocols that review research from GatherUp shows consumers are demanding, get your inventory onto the web, identify the most convenient ways to get purchases from your storefront into the customer’s hands, and your efforts could pave the way for increased Q4 profits.

5) Reinvent window shopping with QR codes

“How can I do what I want to do?” asked Jennifer Bolin, owner of Clover Toys in Seattle.

What she wanted to do was use her storefront window to sell merchandise to patrons who were no longer able to walk into her store. When a staff member mentioned that you could use a QR code generator like this one to load inventory onto pedestrians’ cell phones, she decided to give it a try.

Just a generation or two ago, many Americans cherished the tradition of going to town or heading downtown to enjoy the lavish holiday window displays crafted by local retailers. The mercantile goal of this form of entertainment was to entice passersby indoors for a shopping spree. It’s time to bring this back in 2020, with the twist of labeling products with QR codes and pairing them with desirable methods of delivery, whether through a drive-up window, curbside, or delivery.

“We’ve even gotten late night sales,” Bolin told me when I spoke with her after my colleague Rob Ousbey pointed out this charming and smart independent retail shop to me.

If your business locations are in good areas for foot traffic, think of how a 24/7 asset like an actionable, goodie-packed window display could boost your sales.

6) Tie in with DIY, and consider kits

With so many customers housebound, anything your business can do to support activities and deliver supplies for domestic merrymaking is worth considering. Can your business tie in with decorating, baking, cooking, crafting, handmade gift-giving, home entertainment, or related themes? If so, create video tutorials, blog posts, GMB posts, social media tips, or other content to engage a local audience.

One complaint I am encountering frequently is that shoppers are feeling tired trying to piecemeal together components from the internet for something they want to make or do. Unsurprisingly, many people are longing for the days when they could leisurely browse local businesses in-person, taking inspiration from their hands-on interaction with merchandise. I think kits could offer a stopgap solution in some cases. If relevant to your business, consider bundling items that could provide everything a household needs to:

Prepare a special holiday meal

Bake treats

Outfit a yard for winter play

Trim a tree or decorate a home

Build a fire

Create a night of fun for children of various age groups

Dress appropriately for warmth and safety, based on region

Create a handmade gift, craft, or garment

Winter prep a home or vehicle

Create a complete home spa/health/beauty experience

Plant a spring garden

Kits could be a welcome all-in-one resource for many shoppers. Determine whether your brand has the components to offer one.

7) Manage reviews meticulously

Free, near-real-time quality control data from your holiday efforts can most easily be found in your review profiles. Use software like Moz Local to keep a running tally of your incoming new reviews, or assign a staff member at each location of your business to monitor your local business profiles daily for any complaints or questions.

If you can quickly solve problems people cite in their reviews, your chances are good of retaining the customer and demonstrating responsiveness to all your profiles’ visitors. You may even find that reviews turn up additional, unmet local needs your formal survey missed. Acting quickly to fulfill these requests could win you additional business in Q4 and beyond.

8) Highly publicize one extra reason to shop local this year

“72% of respondents...are likely or very likely to continue to shop at independent stores, either locally or online, above larger retailers such as Amazon.” — Bazaarvoice

I highly recommend reading the entire survey of 12,000 global respondents by Bazaarvoice, quantifying how substantially shopping behaviors have changed in 2020. It’s very good news for local business owners that so many customers want to keep transacting with nearby independents, but the Amazon dilemma remains.

Above, we discussed the fatigue that can result from trying to cobble together a bunch of different resources to check everything off a shopping list. This can drive people to online “everything stores”, in the same way that department stores, supermarkets, and malls have historically drawn in shoppers with the promise of convenience.

A question every local brand should do their best to ask and answer in the runup to the holidays is: What’s to prevent my community from simply taking their whole holiday shopping list to Amazon, or Walmart, or Target this year?

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

My completely personal answer to this question is that I want my town’s local business district, with its local flavor and diversity of shops, to still be there after a vaccine is hopefully developed for COVID-19. But that’s just me. Inspiring your customers’ allegiance to keeping your business going might be best supported by publicizing some of the following:

The economic, societal, and mental health benefits proven to stem from the presence of small, local businesses in a community.

Your philanthropic tie-ins, such as generating a percentage of sales to worthy local causes — there are so many ways to contribute this year.

The historic role your business has played in making your community a good place to live, particularly if your brand is an older, well-established one. I hear nostalgia is a strong influencer in 2020, and old images of your community and company through the years could be engaging content.

Any recent improvements you’ve made to ensure fast home delivery, whether by postal mail or via local drivers who can get gifts right to people’s doors.

Uplifting content that simply makes the day a bit brighter for a shopper. We’re all looking for a little extra support these days to keep our spirits bright.

Be intentional about maximizing local publicity of your “extra reason” to shop with you. Your local newspaper is doubtless running a stream of commentary about the economic picture in your city, and if your special efforts are newsworthy, a few mentions could do you a lot of good.

Don’t underestimate just how reliant people have become on the recommendations of friends, family, and online platforms for sourcing even the basics of life these days. In my own circle, everyone is now regularly telling everyone else where to find items from hand sanitizer to decent potatoes. Networking will be happening around gifts, too, so anything you get noticed for could support extensive word-of-mouth information sharing.

I want to close by thanking you for being in or marketing businesses that will help us all celebrate the many upcoming holidays in our own ways. Your efforts are appreciated, and I’m wishing you a peaceful, profitable, and hyggelig finish to 2020.

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[nutrifami]

My 8 Best Local SEO Tips for the 2020 Holidays

Posted by MiriamEllis



Image credit: DoSchu

“No place like home for the holidays.” This will be the refrain for the majority of your customers as we reach 2020’s peak shopping season. I can’t think of another year in which it’s been more important for local businesses to plan and implement a seasonal marketing strategy extra early, to connect up with customers who will be traveling less and seeking ways to celebrate at home.

Recently, it’s become trendy in multiple countries to try to capture the old Danish spirit of hygge, which the OED defines as: A quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.

While this sometimes-elusive state of being isn’t something you can buy direct from a store, and while some shoppers are still unfamiliar with hygge by name, many will be trying to create it at home this year. Denmark buys more candles than any other nation, and across Scandinavia, fondness for flowers, warming foods, cozy drinks, and time with loved ones characterizes the work of weaving a gentle web of happiness into even the darkest of winters.

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

1) Survey customers now and provide what they want

Reasonably-priced survey software is worth every penny in 2020. For as little as $20/month, your local business can understand exactly how much your customers’ needs have changed this past year by surveying:

Which products locals are having trouble locating

Which products/services they most want for the holidays

Which method of shopping/delivery would be most convenient for them

Which hours of operation would be most helpful

Which safety measures are must-haves for them to transact with a business

Which payment methods are current top choices

Doubtless, you can think of many questions like these to help you glean the most possible insight into local needs. Poll your customer email/text database and keep your surveys on the short side to avoid abandonment.

Don’t have the necessary tools to poll people at-the-ready? Check out Zapier’s roundup of the 10 Best Online Survey Apps in 2020 and craft a concise survey geared to deliver insights into customers’ wishes.

2) Put your company’s whole heart into affinity

If I could gift every local business owner with a mantra to carry them through not just the 2020 holiday shopping season, but into 2021, it would be this:

It’s not enough to have customers discover my brand — I need them to like my brand.

Chances are, you can call to mind some brands of which you’re highly aware but would never shop with because they don’t meet your personal or business standards in some way. You’ve discovered these brands, but you don’t like them. In 2020, you may even have silently or overtly boycotted them.

On the opposite side of this scenario are the local brands you love. I can wax poetic about my local independent grocery store, stocking its shelves with sustainable products from local farmers, flying its Black Lives Matter and LGBTQ+ flags with pride from its storefront, and treating every customer like a cherished neighbor.

For many years, our SEO industry has put great effort into and emphasis on the discovery phase of the consumer journey, but my little country-town grocer has gone leaps and bounds beyond this by demonstrating affinity with the things my household cares about. The owners can consider us lifetime loyal customers for the ways they are going above-and-beyond in terms of empathy, diversity, and care for our community.

I vigorously encourage your business to put customer-brand affinity at the heart of its holiday strategy. Brainstorm how you can make meaningful changes that declare your company’s commitment to being part of the work of positive social change.

3) Be as accessible and communicative as possible

Once you’ve accomplished the above two goals, open the lines of communication about what your brand offers and the people-friendly aspects of how you operate across as many of the following as possible:

Website

Local business listings

Email

Social channels

Forms

Texts/Messaging

Phone on-hold marketing

Storefront and in-store signage

Local news, radio, and TV media

In my 17 years as a local SEO, I can confidently say that local business listings have never been a greater potential asset than they will be this holiday season. Google My Business listings, in particular, are an interface that can answer almost any customer who-what-where-when-why — if your business is managing these properly, whether manually or via software like Moz Local.

Anywhere a customer might be looking for what you offer, be there with accurate and abundant information about identity, location, hours of operation, policies, culture, and offerings. From setting special hours for each of your locations, to embracing Google Posts to microblog holiday content, to ensuring your website and social profiles are publicizing your USP, make your biggest communications effort ever this year.

At the same time, be sure you’re meeting Google’s mobile-friendly standards, and that your website is ADA-compliant so that no customer is left out. Provide a fast, intuitive, and inclusive experience to keep customers engaged.

With the pandemic necessitating social distancing, make the Internet your workhorse for connecting up with and provisioning your community as much as you can.

4) Embrace local e-commerce and product listings

Digital Commerce 360 has done a good job charting the 30%+ rise in online sales in the first half or 2020, largely resulting from the pandemic. The same publication summarizes the collective 19% leap in traffic to North America’s largest retailers. At the local business level, implementing even basic e-commerce function in advance of the holiday season could make a major difference, if you can find the most-desired methods of delivery. These could include:

Buy-online, pick up in-store (BOPIS)

Buy-online, pick up curbside

Buy online for postal delivery

Buy online for direct home delivery by in-house or third-party drivers

Here’s an extensive comparison of popular e-commerce solutions, including which ones have free trials, and the e-commerce column of the Moz blog is a free library of expert advice on optimizing digital sales.

Put your products everywhere you can. Don’t forget that this past April, Google surprised everybody by offering free product listings, and that they also recently acquired the Pointy device, which lets you transform scanned barcodes into online inventory pages.

Additionally, in mid-September, Google took their next big product-related step by adding a “nearby” filter to Google Shopping, taking us closer and closer to the search engine becoming a source for real-time local inventory, as I’ve been predicting here in my column for several years.

Implement the public safety protocols that review research from GatherUp shows consumers are demanding, get your inventory onto the web, identify the most convenient ways to get purchases from your storefront into the customer’s hands, and your efforts could pave the way for increased Q4 profits.

5) Reinvent window shopping with QR codes

“How can I do what I want to do?” asked Jennifer Bolin, owner of Clover Toys in Seattle.

What she wanted to do was use her storefront window to sell merchandise to patrons who were no longer able to walk into her store. When a staff member mentioned that you could use a QR code generator like this one to load inventory onto pedestrians’ cell phones, she decided to give it a try.

Just a generation or two ago, many Americans cherished the tradition of going to town or heading downtown to enjoy the lavish holiday window displays crafted by local retailers. The mercantile goal of this form of entertainment was to entice passersby indoors for a shopping spree. It’s time to bring this back in 2020, with the twist of labeling products with QR codes and pairing them with desirable methods of delivery, whether through a drive-up window, curbside, or delivery.

“We’ve even gotten late night sales,” Bolin told me when I spoke with her after my colleague Rob Ousbey pointed out this charming and smart independent retail shop to me.

If your business locations are in good areas for foot traffic, think of how a 24/7 asset like an actionable, goodie-packed window display could boost your sales.

6) Tie in with DIY, and consider kits

With so many customers housebound, anything your business can do to support activities and deliver supplies for domestic merrymaking is worth considering. Can your business tie in with decorating, baking, cooking, crafting, handmade gift-giving, home entertainment, or related themes? If so, create video tutorials, blog posts, GMB posts, social media tips, or other content to engage a local audience.

One complaint I am encountering frequently is that shoppers are feeling tired trying to piecemeal together components from the internet for something they want to make or do. Unsurprisingly, many people are longing for the days when they could leisurely browse local businesses in-person, taking inspiration from their hands-on interaction with merchandise. I think kits could offer a stopgap solution in some cases. If relevant to your business, consider bundling items that could provide everything a household needs to:

Prepare a special holiday meal

Bake treats

Outfit a yard for winter play

Trim a tree or decorate a home

Build a fire

Create a night of fun for children of various age groups

Dress appropriately for warmth and safety, based on region

Create a handmade gift, craft, or garment

Winter prep a home or vehicle

Create a complete home spa/health/beauty experience

Plant a spring garden

Kits could be a welcome all-in-one resource for many shoppers. Determine whether your brand has the components to offer one.

7) Manage reviews meticulously

Free, near-real-time quality control data from your holiday efforts can most easily be found in your review profiles. Use software like Moz Local to keep a running tally of your incoming new reviews, or assign a staff member at each location of your business to monitor your local business profiles daily for any complaints or questions.

If you can quickly solve problems people cite in their reviews, your chances are good of retaining the customer and demonstrating responsiveness to all your profiles’ visitors. You may even find that reviews turn up additional, unmet local needs your formal survey missed. Acting quickly to fulfill these requests could win you additional business in Q4 and beyond.

8) Highly publicize one extra reason to shop local this year

“72% of respondents...are likely or very likely to continue to shop at independent stores, either locally or online, above larger retailers such as Amazon.” — Bazaarvoice

I highly recommend reading the entire survey of 12,000 global respondents by Bazaarvoice, quantifying how substantially shopping behaviors have changed in 2020. It’s very good news for local business owners that so many customers want to keep transacting with nearby independents, but the Amazon dilemma remains.

Above, we discussed the fatigue that can result from trying to cobble together a bunch of different resources to check everything off a shopping list. This can drive people to online “everything stores”, in the same way that department stores, supermarkets, and malls have historically drawn in shoppers with the promise of convenience.

A question every local brand should do their best to ask and answer in the runup to the holidays is: What’s to prevent my community from simply taking their whole holiday shopping list to Amazon, or Walmart, or Target this year?

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

My completely personal answer to this question is that I want my town’s local business district, with its local flavor and diversity of shops, to still be there after a vaccine is hopefully developed for COVID-19. But that’s just me. Inspiring your customers’ allegiance to keeping your business going might be best supported by publicizing some of the following:

The economic, societal, and mental health benefits proven to stem from the presence of small, local businesses in a community.

Your philanthropic tie-ins, such as generating a percentage of sales to worthy local causes — there are so many ways to contribute this year.

The historic role your business has played in making your community a good place to live, particularly if your brand is an older, well-established one. I hear nostalgia is a strong influencer in 2020, and old images of your community and company through the years could be engaging content.

Any recent improvements you’ve made to ensure fast home delivery, whether by postal mail or via local drivers who can get gifts right to people’s doors.

Uplifting content that simply makes the day a bit brighter for a shopper. We’re all looking for a little extra support these days to keep our spirits bright.

Be intentional about maximizing local publicity of your “extra reason” to shop with you. Your local newspaper is doubtless running a stream of commentary about the economic picture in your city, and if your special efforts are newsworthy, a few mentions could do you a lot of good.

Don’t underestimate just how reliant people have become on the recommendations of friends, family, and online platforms for sourcing even the basics of life these days. In my own circle, everyone is now regularly telling everyone else where to find items from hand sanitizer to decent potatoes. Networking will be happening around gifts, too, so anything you get noticed for could support extensive word-of-mouth information sharing.

I want to close by thanking you for being in or marketing businesses that will help us all celebrate the many upcoming holidays in our own ways. Your efforts are appreciated, and I’m wishing you a peaceful, profitable, and hyggelig finish to 2020.

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[daynamartinez22]

My 8 Best Local SEO Tips for the 2020 Holidays

Posted by MiriamEllis



Image credit: DoSchu

“No place like home for the holidays.” This will be the refrain for the majority of your customers as we reach 2020’s peak shopping season. I can’t think of another year in which it’s been more important for local businesses to plan and implement a seasonal marketing strategy extra early, to connect up with customers who will be traveling less and seeking ways to celebrate at home.

Recently, it’s become trendy in multiple countries to try to capture the old Danish spirit of hygge, which the OED defines as: A quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.

While this sometimes-elusive state of being isn’t something you can buy direct from a store, and while some shoppers are still unfamiliar with hygge by name, many will be trying to create it at home this year. Denmark buys more candles than any other nation, and across Scandinavia, fondness for flowers, warming foods, cozy drinks, and time with loved ones characterizes the work of weaving a gentle web of happiness into even the darkest of winters.

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

1) Survey customers now and provide what they want

Reasonably-priced survey software is worth every penny in 2020. For as little as $20/month, your local business can understand exactly how much your customers’ needs have changed this past year by surveying:

Which products locals are having trouble locating

Which products/services they most want for the holidays

Which method of shopping/delivery would be most convenient for them

Which hours of operation would be most helpful

Which safety measures are must-haves for them to transact with a business

Which payment methods are current top choices

Doubtless, you can think of many questions like these to help you glean the most possible insight into local needs. Poll your customer email/text database and keep your surveys on the short side to avoid abandonment.

Don’t have the necessary tools to poll people at-the-ready? Check out Zapier’s roundup of the 10 Best Online Survey Apps in 2020 and craft a concise survey geared to deliver insights into customers’ wishes.

2) Put your company’s whole heart into affinity

If I could gift every local business owner with a mantra to carry them through not just the 2020 holiday shopping season, but into 2021, it would be this:

It’s not enough to have customers discover my brand — I need them to like my brand.

Chances are, you can call to mind some brands of which you’re highly aware but would never shop with because they don’t meet your personal or business standards in some way. You’ve discovered these brands, but you don’t like them. In 2020, you may even have silently or overtly boycotted them.

On the opposite side of this scenario are the local brands you love. I can wax poetic about my local independent grocery store, stocking its shelves with sustainable products from local farmers, flying its Black Lives Matter and LGBTQ+ flags with pride from its storefront, and treating every customer like a cherished neighbor.

For many years, our SEO industry has put great effort into and emphasis on the discovery phase of the consumer journey, but my little country-town grocer has gone leaps and bounds beyond this by demonstrating affinity with the things my household cares about. The owners can consider us lifetime loyal customers for the ways they are going above-and-beyond in terms of empathy, diversity, and care for our community.

I vigorously encourage your business to put customer-brand affinity at the heart of its holiday strategy. Brainstorm how you can make meaningful changes that declare your company’s commitment to being part of the work of positive social change.

3) Be as accessible and communicative as possible

Once you’ve accomplished the above two goals, open the lines of communication about what your brand offers and the people-friendly aspects of how you operate across as many of the following as possible:

Website

Local business listings

Email

Social channels

Forms

Texts/Messaging

Phone on-hold marketing

Storefront and in-store signage

Local news, radio, and TV media

In my 17 years as a local SEO, I can confidently say that local business listings have never been a greater potential asset than they will be this holiday season. Google My Business listings, in particular, are an interface that can answer almost any customer who-what-where-when-why — if your business is managing these properly, whether manually or via software like Moz Local.

Anywhere a customer might be looking for what you offer, be there with accurate and abundant information about identity, location, hours of operation, policies, culture, and offerings. From setting special hours for each of your locations, to embracing Google Posts to microblog holiday content, to ensuring your website and social profiles are publicizing your USP, make your biggest communications effort ever this year.

At the same time, be sure you’re meeting Google’s mobile-friendly standards, and that your website is ADA-compliant so that no customer is left out. Provide a fast, intuitive, and inclusive experience to keep customers engaged.

With the pandemic necessitating social distancing, make the Internet your workhorse for connecting up with and provisioning your community as much as you can.

4) Embrace local e-commerce and product listings

Digital Commerce 360 has done a good job charting the 30%+ rise in online sales in the first half or 2020, largely resulting from the pandemic. The same publication summarizes the collective 19% leap in traffic to North America’s largest retailers. At the local business level, implementing even basic e-commerce function in advance of the holiday season could make a major difference, if you can find the most-desired methods of delivery. These could include:

Buy-online, pick up in-store (BOPIS)

Buy-online, pick up curbside

Buy online for postal delivery

Buy online for direct home delivery by in-house or third-party drivers

Here’s an extensive comparison of popular e-commerce solutions, including which ones have free trials, and the e-commerce column of the Moz blog is a free library of expert advice on optimizing digital sales.

Put your products everywhere you can. Don’t forget that this past April, Google surprised everybody by offering free product listings, and that they also recently acquired the Pointy device, which lets you transform scanned barcodes into online inventory pages.

Additionally, in mid-September, Google took their next big product-related step by adding a “nearby” filter to Google Shopping, taking us closer and closer to the search engine becoming a source for real-time local inventory, as I’ve been predicting here in my column for several years.

Implement the public safety protocols that review research from GatherUp shows consumers are demanding, get your inventory onto the web, identify the most convenient ways to get purchases from your storefront into the customer’s hands, and your efforts could pave the way for increased Q4 profits.

5) Reinvent window shopping with QR codes

“How can I do what I want to do?” asked Jennifer Bolin, owner of Clover Toys in Seattle.

What she wanted to do was use her storefront window to sell merchandise to patrons who were no longer able to walk into her store. When a staff member mentioned that you could use a QR code generator like this one to load inventory onto pedestrians’ cell phones, she decided to give it a try.

Just a generation or two ago, many Americans cherished the tradition of going to town or heading downtown to enjoy the lavish holiday window displays crafted by local retailers. The mercantile goal of this form of entertainment was to entice passersby indoors for a shopping spree. It’s time to bring this back in 2020, with the twist of labeling products with QR codes and pairing them with desirable methods of delivery, whether through a drive-up window, curbside, or delivery.

“We’ve even gotten late night sales,” Bolin told me when I spoke with her after my colleague Rob Ousbey pointed out this charming and smart independent retail shop to me.

If your business locations are in good areas for foot traffic, think of how a 24/7 asset like an actionable, goodie-packed window display could boost your sales.

6) Tie in with DIY, and consider kits

With so many customers housebound, anything your business can do to support activities and deliver supplies for domestic merrymaking is worth considering. Can your business tie in with decorating, baking, cooking, crafting, handmade gift-giving, home entertainment, or related themes? If so, create video tutorials, blog posts, GMB posts, social media tips, or other content to engage a local audience.

One complaint I am encountering frequently is that shoppers are feeling tired trying to piecemeal together components from the internet for something they want to make or do. Unsurprisingly, many people are longing for the days when they could leisurely browse local businesses in-person, taking inspiration from their hands-on interaction with merchandise. I think kits could offer a stopgap solution in some cases. If relevant to your business, consider bundling items that could provide everything a household needs to:

Prepare a special holiday meal

Bake treats

Outfit a yard for winter play

Trim a tree or decorate a home

Build a fire

Create a night of fun for children of various age groups

Dress appropriately for warmth and safety, based on region

Create a handmade gift, craft, or garment

Winter prep a home or vehicle

Create a complete home spa/health/beauty experience

Plant a spring garden

Kits could be a welcome all-in-one resource for many shoppers. Determine whether your brand has the components to offer one.

7) Manage reviews meticulously

Free, near-real-time quality control data from your holiday efforts can most easily be found in your review profiles. Use software like Moz Local to keep a running tally of your incoming new reviews, or assign a staff member at each location of your business to monitor your local business profiles daily for any complaints or questions.

If you can quickly solve problems people cite in their reviews, your chances are good of retaining the customer and demonstrating responsiveness to all your profiles’ visitors. You may even find that reviews turn up additional, unmet local needs your formal survey missed. Acting quickly to fulfill these requests could win you additional business in Q4 and beyond.

8) Highly publicize one extra reason to shop local this year

“72% of respondents...are likely or very likely to continue to shop at independent stores, either locally or online, above larger retailers such as Amazon.” — Bazaarvoice

I highly recommend reading the entire survey of 12,000 global respondents by Bazaarvoice, quantifying how substantially shopping behaviors have changed in 2020. It’s very good news for local business owners that so many customers want to keep transacting with nearby independents, but the Amazon dilemma remains.

Above, we discussed the fatigue that can result from trying to cobble together a bunch of different resources to check everything off a shopping list. This can drive people to online “everything stores”, in the same way that department stores, supermarkets, and malls have historically drawn in shoppers with the promise of convenience.

A question every local brand should do their best to ask and answer in the runup to the holidays is: What’s to prevent my community from simply taking their whole holiday shopping list to Amazon, or Walmart, or Target this year?

Whatever your business can offer to support local shoppers’ aspirations for a safe, comfortable, happy holiday season at home is commendable at the end of a very challenging 2020. I hope these eight local search marketing tips will help you make good connections that serve your customers — and your business — well into the new year.

My completely personal answer to this question is that I want my town’s local business district, with its local flavor and diversity of shops, to still be there after a vaccine is hopefully developed for COVID-19. But that’s just me. Inspiring your customers’ allegiance to keeping your business going might be best supported by publicizing some of the following:

The economic, societal, and mental health benefits proven to stem from the presence of small, local businesses in a community.

Your philanthropic tie-ins, such as generating a percentage of sales to worthy local causes — there are so many ways to contribute this year.

The historic role your business has played in making your community a good place to live, particularly if your brand is an older, well-established one. I hear nostalgia is a strong influencer in 2020, and old images of your community and company through the years could be engaging content.

Any recent improvements you’ve made to ensure fast home delivery, whether by postal mail or via local drivers who can get gifts right to people’s doors.

Uplifting content that simply makes the day a bit brighter for a shopper. We’re all looking for a little extra support these days to keep our spirits bright.

Be intentional about maximizing local publicity of your “extra reason” to shop with you. Your local newspaper is doubtless running a stream of commentary about the economic picture in your city, and if your special efforts are newsworthy, a few mentions could do you a lot of good.

Don’t underestimate just how reliant people have become on the recommendations of friends, family, and online platforms for sourcing even the basics of life these days. In my own circle, everyone is now regularly telling everyone else where to find items from hand sanitizer to decent potatoes. Networking will be happening around gifts, too, so anything you get noticed for could support extensive word-of-mouth information sharing.

I want to close by thanking you for being in or marketing businesses that will help us all celebrate the many upcoming holidays in our own ways. Your efforts are appreciated, and I’m wishing you a peaceful, profitable, and hyggelig finish to 2020.

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