#holding his hand when i say this: dazai is going to be your odasaku 🧍🏻‍♀️ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ninkaku · 2 months ago

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seeing fireworks and remembering that dazai said “when i go out, i hope it’s this beautiful” in wan …. and atsushi said “haha i’d prefer it if you didn’t go at all” like ……. FUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK. my darling baby atsushi please … don’t make this harder than it needs to be …

#holding his hand when i say this: dazai is going to be your odasaku 🧍🏻‍♀️#literally the worst thought ive ever had in my life. and i don’t mean it in a sense of #watching him die or being in direct cause and effect of his death or #being part of it in anyway or even TALKING to him as he’s dying. i just mean #that bond. dazai is not atsushi’s mentor he’s his friend #as much as dazai refuses to admit it. it happened with oda and ango. it happened with atsushi #he has wormed his way into people’s lives without even noticing he’s done it #GGGRRFFFFF im shedding tears i need to lay down #this scene in wan just breaks me every time because yeah atsushi. i feel you on that one #but he’s your odasaku i fear …….. your friend that you will miss for longer than you have known him #the grave that you will visit and probably. be the only one to erect it #GOD.#dazai’s grave isn’t real it can’t hurt me. then i remember it exists in beast #grave with - O. DAZAI exists and i have to take a minute. i’m on the ledge. i’m jumping #my body is swinging from the rafters #UUAAAUUUUGGGHHHHHHH

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