#hold onto me darling

[safarigirlsp]

🎄Merry Christmas to You🎄

[jbberry7]

And now there are 2.

[safarigirlsp]

Amazon

Amazon 5-Star Theater w/ Adam Driver

[safarigirlsp]

Hold Onto Me Darling

[jbberry7]

Hold On To Me Darling is #2 of 2024 https://www.thewrap.com/best-theater-2024-new-york-broadway/

[beanghostprincess]

it wouldn't surprise me that, despite sanji being the literal cook of the crew, he had an eating disorder (ofc trigger warning here for eds, child abuse, starvation and, y'know, sanji's background in general).

he experienced the most traumatic years of his life trapped inside a fucking cell, with a metal helmet around his head and only eating when his father let him. which was 'only when the kid needs it', probably. which leads to judge saying 'i couldn't even kill my son' and it can translate to 'at least i kept you alive'. and not to turn this into irl trauma, but abusive parents constantly use the 'keeping you alive and giving you food' excuse (the bare fucking minimum) to guilt trip you into thinking that they're good and that you're exaggerating how bad they treated you because, well, at least they kept you alive, didn't they?

so here, sanji sees food as a form of loving but in the sense of 'at least my dad didn't kill me. that's something'. so his vision towards food remains positive but only because of his mom. only because his love language is acts of service and his mom took everything he gave her, even if it was horrific, as a way of saying 'i love all of you. you're perfect because you tried and the fact that you brought me your food is enough to make me feel loved. you're not a mistake' despite his brothers and his father saying that he was, indeed, a mistake and weak for wanting to give food to others instead of just taking it for himself.

both ideas of 'someone who loves you wouldn't let you starve' and 'offering food to others is opening up your heart' coexist inside little sanji's brain.

so it wouldn't be crazy to think that, although sanji loves cooking and his best early memories of it are that book that kept him dreaming while he was locked up, and his mom's words, has a hard time eating food.

besides, sanji is used to giving, not taking. he's not selfish, but actually extremely generous to the point of forgetting about his own well-being. i don't think he actually thinks about how hungry he is until it hurts. until he needs it. he only ate whenever his father let him so he wouldn't starve, and the only thing that made him feel well about food was the fact that he could give it to the one he loved and needed it.

sanji doesn't have good experiences eating food, but only cooking it. it's a great representation of his personality as a whole, to be honest.

then the whole zeff thing happens, and he actually almost starves to death and learns what hunger feels like. but once again, zeff saves him and he's the one to be hungry for not letting the kid starve. which might seem similar to what judge did, but 'not letting you starve because i couldn't kill you' isn't the same as 'not letting you starve because i don't want you to die'. sanji learns the difference that day.

he didn't know somebody could be that kind. especially to him, someone who doesn't deserve it (he thinks he doesn't) because, in his house, love only came when you earned it.

and, you know, sanji's like that. sanji's selfless. sanji does everything for others. and so the guilt eats him up first. what zeff did is beautiful and amazing and we love him for it, but we don't know about how that affected sanji at a young age. which only makes him even more selfless and more of a better, kinder, generous person. and that might be bad, considering how little he thinks about himself already-

he learns that throwing away food is awful, and that you have to be grateful for being able to eat. grateful for living. so his don't-waste-food policy is obviously a big part of his personality due to almost dying of starvation and also owing his life to his dad (zeff, the real one, of course. fuck judge).

but that can almost be dangerous because refusing to waste food leads to forcing yourself to eat only because of his concept of what food means.

and then we have luffy in wci saying the whole 'i won't eat anything that you haven't cooked' which is precious and something very beautiful to say to your cook, but that only brings sanji back to 'starving is a form of loving' and 'you can't let someone you love starve'. and no matter how much he wants to force himself to push luffy away, he gives him food because he knows his captain will keep his promise.

sanji feels guilty, once again, but he ends up fixing it.

the thing is, after everything i've said, i don't think it would be weird to think about sanji viewing food as something external. something that isn't for himself. something that he only has control over because it's for others and not for himself, and it's a concept, a form of love, and not a need. because he does not feel hungry. when it comes to food, he feels responsibility and guilt and love... but never hunger.

hunger is, by all means, a form of selfishness sanji isn't used to unless his body is about to give up completely. he can eat out of pleasure and satisfaction and love for food, but he does it to train a selfless skill that may or may not also be selfish in the sense of 'wanting to be loved and useful'.

so here we have:

seeing food as a form of love because at least his dad wouldn't let him die, but he probably learned to push away the concept of hunger

seeing cooking as the most beautiful way of showing your feelings and efforts and taking care of people

not knowing the concept of hunger due to his own selflessness

scratch the first one, actually starving for others is a form of loving. he will never let the people he loves starve even if it means he dies in the process.

he can't waste food because that would be insulting and disrespectful. no matter the context.

and i'm just saying (and this whole thing is extremely self-indulgent and me projecting again and again) that it wouldn't be surprising to me if he had some issues when it comes to eating and making food for himself.

it's not that he thinks he doesn't deserve food, it's just the thought that he doesn't need it. going back to his past it could be seeing hunger as a form of weakness (not when it comes to others. never when it comes to others), both because of what his family taught him men should be like, and the fact that the manliest man he knows used starvation as a form of love.

so it's seeing hunger as something that makes you weak, but only when it comes to himself because of course, he wouldn't apply the same rules for him as for everyone else. he's just like that.

he thinks about others first, and himself second. always second. and the thought of eating and needing it only comes when it's too much. and when that time comes, the voices in his head tell him that he's weak. and again, i don't think he sees himself as undeserving of food because he has this whole thing about everybody deserving to eat. but he has never played with the same rules as the rest, always a few steps behind, so if he can't fight the thoughts in his head contradicting his morals, that's just how he is.

not to mention the 'don't waste food' part which also would make him feel guilty about not being able to eat if the thoughts of not deserving food and being weak for needing to eat become too much. he can't eat because he doesn't deserve it and because he's weak. and he can't starve, because that would mean wasting food.

so, you know, sanji is out of options here.

if some days sanji just casually decides not to eat- forgets to prepare himself a meal while his crew enjoys his food... that's just the way he is, isn't it? and if he lies about it, it's just another form of love, keeping them away from his problems.

besides, controlling hunger and controlling food is the only way he has to take control of his messy life. when something is out of reach, the unstoppable thing called life he has never been able to control, at least he can choose not to eat. he can choose to starve, this time, with the comfort of knowing he won't. he can choose not to eat this time, not like all of those times when food was controlling him instead.

at least the strawhats will never, ever, starve if he's around. but of course, nobody thinks about asking the cook if he wants to eat. that would be absurd. and it's impossible to think sanji would have some sort of issue with it! sanji, the cook, who keeps telling them not to waste food, not eating? that would be absurd and too selfless to make sense.

that's just the way he is.

[safarigirlsp]

Amazon

NUMBER 12 !! THE ELF ON A SHELF.

[shadowedvales-gone]

not that i even include any of the nina project canon on this blog, but what really annoyed me about it all [i mean, basically everything to do with the storyline lmao] is that jane continued to call brenner papa. he claims they're “father and daughter”, offers his hand to her, and she takes it in order to continue the work. she confirms he is her papa. by calling him that, it continues to implement that he is some kind of role model or positive figure in her life. the fact that she didn't confront him about her childhood until he physically stopped her from leaving, and put the shock collar around her neck, is wild to me. all of jane’s development from the very first episode is amazing. at the end of season one she associates “bad” to brenner, after spending one week with the boys. one week compared to eleven years with brenner.

yes she did try running away from him the moment she saw him, and she was only thinking about helping her friends in working with nina, but she would not have put up with his behaviour towards her. she knew who he was at that point, and if not just to her, then to her friends: he faked will’s death, threatened to kill the boys, and most importantly destroyed her mothers life. anyway. the point of this post, is that after season two and her experience with kali, the man who hurt terry, and brenner’s vision, she only refers to him as brenner. there is no more papa. she is not giving him that credit, or allowing him to have that possession over her. if he were to ever come up in conversation, he is brenner, and that’s it.

which, on that note, i believe jane would stop referring to terry as 'mama' and instead simply call her 'mum.' when jane is looking through the documents regarding hawkins lab in the cabin, she sees terry for the first time, and realises she is her mother. without thinking, she calls out for mama, [not ma, not mother, not mum etc] the title already engrained into her from her so-called father: in that moment she still believes brenner is her father, and this woman is her mother. so they are both automatically mama and papa in her perception, the only parental titles she really knows of thus far. she's connecting these two vastly different people together by titles, which may seem simple on the outside, but has far more meaning within. the word papa will always be tainted to jane, and once she finds out about her real father, andrew rich, she would never call him papa, so why would she call terry mama? 'mama' is immediately associated to 'papa' and when jane grows up a little more and comes to realise these titles connect to one another, she only calls terry her mum or mother.

[smile-files]

sigh yes i have a new object show idea. and yes i want it to be animated and run like an actual object show. and yes i've already made lore. and yes i'm so so tired

[lunar-years]

Listening to Taylor Swift The Archer again and thinking about Roy Kent. As one does.

[safarigirlsp]

*NEW* Adam Driver & Heather Burns, Hold On To Me Darling 2024

-Julieta Cervantes/Broadwayworld via @adamdrivercentl

[buffygirlfail]

buffy summers is such an archer girly i actually feel sick

[i-luvsang]

did i hear it's drown ria in yeo time?? yeo appreciation time?? sangie spam time?? i think i did

OH NOOO IS THAT WHAT TIME IT IS :,) i’m a goner folks i’m a goner

WHATEVER SHALL I DO ??? HOW MUST I GO ON FOR I LOVE HIM SO. genuinely i’m so. I CANT DO THIS GUYS I CANT UGHHHH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE MEANS TO ME😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I CANNOT BEAR TO PEER UPON HIS ANGELIC FEATURES FOR FEAR THAT I SHED MANY A TEARS

[neallo]

the archer by taylor swift is one of the most melloest songs ever written btw. if you even care

[safarigirlsp]

Hi!! Thank you for tagging me! These are always fun! I miss all the tag games that used to go around. @the-fangirl-diaries

I don’t have 9 favorites, but here are lots of gifs of my top 7! Tall, dark, handsome, and preferably bearded!

Adam Driver

Brandon Sklenar

Hugh Jackman

Gerard Butler

Goran Visnjic

Claes Bang

Jason Isaacs

Tagging some buddies to picspam their favorites!

@babbushka @mrs-gucci @mrszimmerman24 @rynwritesstuff @vedavan @napiersmirk @iamburdened @queeniebee @reveluving @candycanes19 @cas-backwards-tie @dirbenaffleck @napiersmirk

Fictional Crush Tag Game! 💕

One of my lovely moots invited me to participate in a tag game that I couldn't possibly refuse! The rules were 4 crushes and tag 4 friends, but um.... I couldn't choose 4, so I chose 9! Here you go! Some of my fictional character crushes. None of them should be surprising.

Tagging some moots and friends in case they want to join in! @safarigirlsp @cillmequick @zablife @queenandkingofthedragons @deblou008 @eternalstrigoii

[safarigirlsp]

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Amazon

CMYKJPG always kills it!