#hockeys biggest fans cant even admit what it is

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go oilers

absolutely not

[roseate7]

I’m too busy today to do the full “hockey tumblr, know thyself” post I want to but hoo boy is an article like this a great thing to find nearly lost amid responses hastening to prove a straight white man innocent. 

Neither Morgan Rielly, nor any male hockey player, is a cinnamon roll. They are none of them “the sweetest and best men” or “undeserving of all this criticism”. The distance to go in dismantling the toxic masculinity and bigotry that male hockey leagues are built upon and building progressivism into the spaces left is depressingly far away. There should be no celebrations because there is barely a baseline in view of anything like equality or inclusivity. 

I have been a fan of Brendan Shanahan since I was a teen and I’ve observed what has jokingly been referred to as his “savior” complex in gradually changing and improving this sport and this league in his post-retirement career. I refer people to his summit and his efforts all the time as a steady sign of a long needed sea change. The fact that Player Safety wasn’t ready for him was a sign in his favor and moving onto one of the biggest hockey markets in the world proved to be poetic in it’s destiny. I love what he and the Burkes have been doing. I’m not cynical without acknowledgement of good and I’m not just a bitter, distrusting old gay. But I don’t give an ounce of good will not specifically and unequivocally earned, and I do not use those instances to spread a general rosy tint of goodwill to everything these men do. Kim Davis has a long, uphill struggle ahead of her and god bless her for admitting it so plainly and not coddling the mostly performative measures taken by men so far.

Kyle Dubas gave a great response but this does not make him a cinnamon roll. I don’t buy into his naivety that officials will give statements and penalties about slurs used on the ice based on inter-league politics. At the time of writing this, Brad Meier was stated by the Leafs as having been in attendance at the investigation with Rielly but Dubas could not say if Meier himself said that he heard the slur. At this time, Meier has made no statement himself. Rielly’s assertion of innocence remains Dubas’ and the club’s first point of intention, as it has been for many of Rielly’s fans and for Leafs’ fans. It is also deeply in the league’s interests that any possible opening for questioning lead to the conclusion that the slur was most importantly not said by Rielly, and not said at all.

I’m far from calling Dubas, Reilly or any of the men involved in this incident and investigation demons or “hating on them”, I’m being an adult talking about other adults based on common sense about men in men’s institutions, no matter how progressive. I’m not babying or presuming good in anyone where long history has taught me exactly otherwise, including recent history. I do this with all of my own favorites, as my own history on a couple of tumblr blogs evidences. 

None of these men deserve anything from progressive fans. If they wish to do right and eventually achieve the right changes in their sport then they should get on with it with no praise and no acknowledgement. It is not our place as marginalized fans to comfort, ease or praise them. When we do, the huge balance of privilege in their favor means that our praise and easing the way merely stalls the process of progress. 

Because self-defense is the way of a people who dominate wealthy and popular spaces. It happens in it’s own way with race and intersectionality in women’s hockey, as has recently been proven to me and a friend in a perfect reflection of white aggression about a white league by white fans. We whites do not react well to being critiqued and corrected along our journey to betterment and inclusivity. We popularly seek out any avenue of escape and self-vindication. So goes the same for straight people to LGBTQ+ people, so goes the same for white women to women of color, so especially goes the same for straight white men in positions of privilege and power. 

And the common cant to that accusation? That we’re being “hated on” or that we are the victims of unfairness and prejudice in turn. Part of how the Leafs handled this instance was good. Other parts? Not so. This is no time for celebration of them, of Rielly, or the league. This should be a sobering wake up call (among many that tumblr hockey fans have received from every corner of the league) that there is no place or corner in this sport where purity and progressivism finds safe home. Who knows when that will happen but certainly not now, certainly not soon. No amount of Pride parades or rainbow tape or tweets or good gestures suggests that. 

You can enjoy players and men’s hockey while being critical and not putting these privileged men above marginalized fans. You should enjoy it and view it that way. I love doing the whole narrative/pretentious shit about certain players and teams. But when they are even rumored to have done wrong, reality comes first. Cold and real and vital.

I don’t know if it’s the parasocial aspect of social media that has led so many marginalized people to wildly administer protected and elevated status to rich men in privileged positions, something I grew up without and a delusion I never shared, but please take this warning to rescind that. Keep your praise and glory for those who are like you and fighting this fight from the inside, and not just as performance or part of a work initiative or even just because a friend or family member is affected. God knows we all don’t get credit for the work we do to move this lumbering society along, so let’s not throw pearls to the already wealthy. 

Morgan Rielly is just a player, like all of them. He is deeply flawed by the system that raised him. He is removed from your intimate knowledge. Enjoy him for what you can know absolutely for sure, and do not elevate him beyond someone you’d meet in your own neighborhood. When something like this happens, strip away your fondness for him and focus on the issue and not on the version of him you’ve developed in an echo chamber of like minded fans.