#hob/death fuckbuddies au

[cuubism]

would you be ok elaborating on the hob/death post? I already adore Hob and death friendship arcs and Hob/death as a concept and I would LOVE to hear more <3

*cracks knuckles* so--

there are actually two separate AUs. the canonverse one, and the human AU one.

i pitched the canonverse one to @magnusbae thus:

extremely funny au where hob and death have been casually hooking up since 1389 and dream finally confesses his feelings in like 2050 and hob's like ah. should i stop hooking up with your sister then? and dream's like should you stop doing WHAT?

basically. in the six billion years it takes dream to get his shit together and admit to his own feelings for hob, hob and death have just been having loads of no-strings-attached sexy fun in the background (death: you snooze, you lose, dream! *sticks tongue out*)

dream is very perturbed by this, he's like hello that's MY toy?? give it BACK???? I HAD IT FIRST!!!!!!!!!

(we don't headcanon hob and death actually dating, by the way. they're just pals who hook up sometimes. they're very chill about it. dream is the only one who's not chill about it because he wants All Of Hob's Attention All The Time NOW)

tldr:

The human AU version:

Hob and Death are roommates/friends/fuckbuddies who have this lowkey open relationship thing going on. they're having a great time in their casual but well-communicated healthy relationship.

enter Dream, least well-adjusted person on the planet, also Death's younger brother, who's staying with her for a while. and as soon as Dream arrives Death has to watch her formerly reasonable friend Hob disintegrate into a haze of utter Simp Behavior and insanity, and she's like oh boy. this is gonna get interesting.

meanwhile Dream is like handsome... guy... being nice... to me... 😳 *falling down the stairs*

Hob is into him so fast it's embarrassing and eventually Death yanks him aside and just gives him a look. And so like the mature adults they are they do talk about it and Death is like, dude, we aren't dating, you can do whatever you want. Besides, I'd rather have my brother be with someone I actually know and like rather than his other disastrous relationships (though Death is swiftly learning that Hob is much more unhinged than she'd previously thought. Dream brings all of it out in him). So Hob's like cool I'll flirt with your brother

NO ONE TELLS DREAM ABOUT IT

Dream is under the impression that Hob and Death are actually dating. So the more Hob flirts with him the more Dream is like 👀🤔 and he's kind of in love with Hob because ohh Hob is so kind and handsome and he listens to everything Dream says and he's so charming... but he also kind of hates Hob because how dare he cheat on Death and how dare he make Dream want him like that?

Death: so are you and Hob getting along well?

Dream: no. I hope Hob falls off a cliff and dies.

Death:.... alright thanks for the input

But Dream does just keep indulging his worse impulses and one day he just finds himself sitting in Hob's lap on the couch in Death's apartment while Hob listens to him talk and he's just like: oh my god I'm a homewrecker

Dream, later: Sister. Your shitty boyfriend is cheating on you

Death: ....did it actually take Hob this long to ask you out? we talked about it ages ago

Dream: ...

TLDR:

[cuubism]

UNHINGED!! UNHINGEDDDD!!!!!!!!! oh gosh the strange au has drawn in another cult member. welcome. thank you. or... i'm sorry?

Inspired by @cuubism and @magnusbae's memes about their AU in which Hob and Death are together first in a fully-functional open/no-strings-attached relationship, but then Dream comes along and neither Hob nor Dream can be normal about it

(click on the picture to see the full drawing)

[delta-pavonis]

Fic: Runner (sequel to Keeper)

Read on AO3

Dreamling (Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling), football/soccer AU || Rated E || 7.1k words || complete-ish

Alternate Universe - Football, keeper!Dream, goalie!Dream, journalist!Hob, sports reporter!Hob, gratuitous references to Ted Lasso because I cannot fucking help myself, OH THE YEARNING, Morpheus POV, canon typical death of spouse, Morpheus/Jamie Tartt become fuckbuddies, D/s overtones, mention of Roy Kent/Jamie Tartt, oral sex, face fucking, come swallowing, shower sex, getting together, fluffy ending, they are still idiots for each other

[cuubism]

No questions. I'm just attempting to kill a man or two by pulling this out of my sleeve >:)

hoooooolllly fucking shit, mayhem you absolute madlad

i don't even know what to say about this. i'm stunned into silence. i'm shook. i'm just staring at it. this is so much to cope with on a tuesday afternoon

@magnusbae come get yeeted off a cliff

[cuubism]

stupid memes from me and @magnusbae's various aus where death got to hob first :)

there's at least two different aus mashed together here. sorry

[cuubism]

ok so I read through the post with hob/death memes and I am here to say that 1. i dont even go here (yet) but what a RIDE... and 2. it might not fit perfectly but I read through that post after just having listened Pass it On with the Knife on repeat all morning and I am Laughing/crying

//pies-in-the-skies

@pies-in-the-skies

OH MY GOD NOOOOO 😂😂 now i'm crying laughing too

that's pretty much it, yep

i appreciate the "yet". we'll get you.... everyone will get aboard the weird hob/death + dreamling situation. "hob has two hands" etc