#hnfdndfndffdgfdg

[moonraccoon-exe]

Right, so I’m not officially submitting this to Gladnis Week because it’s more of a rambled idea than a fic (or should I make it an entry nonetheless?). Okay, so

I lied.

I have this.

Fantasy AU Gladnis.

I read this book, Seraphina, by Rachel Hartman. In that universe, dragons co-exist with humans, except it’s super tense ‘cause humans are scared of dragons, but they’ve got a peace treaty. Dragons are able to shapeshift into human form; a dragon is called a Saar, and their human form is a Saarantras. Dragons live in their natural form up north, but many live among humans in their saarantras, though being allowed to shift once every four years among humans (or shift somewhere away of cities, with official permission).

Dragons think humans are mentally and spiritually inferior because of emotions. Dragons don’t feel, not in the levels that a human does, but they can experiment feelings in their saarantras. Except they don’t want to.

For dragons, emotions are an obstacle, as it gets in the way of doing things. As a summary, they believe emotions don’t let you be objective and, hence, they don’t allow you to give your best on something. Many dragons even find emotions as disgusting to witness. They believe they’re superior because they’re able to do politics and all that they do being “fully objective”.

Now, what if a saarantras decides they want to feel, even if just for curiosity? That’s fine. To certain levels. Most (if not all) saarantrai are often under the watch of censors, who make sure a saar is not feeling “too much”. If a saarantras makes public display of emotions that crosses the line of what they’re allowed, the censors will take them back to their lands at north and erase their memories, at least the ones that gave birth to the emotions the dragon felt too much, as a way to start again. That way, if they felt too much joy from hanging with a human kid, they’ll erase the kid from their memories so next time they meet said kid, it will cause nothing to their emotions simply because they don’t remember they ever enjoyed being with this kid. Or if they grew too sad because a dog died, they will erase all memories from said pet, so the dragon won’t feel this sadness because they literally can’t remember the doggo.

That is, of course, they have to see said saarantras showing emotion; maybe a saarantras feels it but doesn’t demonstrate it, hence the censors won’t know. The problem is showing it, allowing emotions to control their actions.

Dragons do this to keep the “purity” of their race. A dragon that feels can be compared to a human, and, well, ew. Humans are inferior, and sure they create art like no dragon can ever do, but what utility does art have anyway? A dragon that feels isn’t focusing 100% in their job. So nope, they’re being watched to make sure they’re not feeling too much.

Now you see where we’re heading, hm?

Let us imagine: human Gladio, and saarantras Ignis.

Forbidden love trope + fantasy AU! Don’t worry, the book doesn’t focus on the “majestic male dragon with super handsome saarantras who illicitly and ‘unexpectedly’ falls in love with doll-like beautiful human maid” story, it’s got a bigger and more interesting plot, but let us imagine the trope for Gladnis okay hndfjgnsfsp

The book’s universe is sort of like a renaissance time, but I guess we can choose perfectly fine between that or modern times like the game.

Gladio’s the Shield of the Prince by birth and job and a passionate historian by school. He has a normal life and a very good acceptance for saarantrai; not only does Gladio not fear them, he also adores the idea of the two races living together as if it didn’t matter. As the world is mostly in peace, there’s not much of a job for a Shield or soldier, so he spends most of his time in his history researches or just reading, when he can.

The saarantrai wear a little bell on their shoulder so people know they’re dragons, but some are extent of this, mostly researches. This is so that they’re allowed in human schools, spaces and jobs without being discriminated or feared. The apprentice to prince-adviser is one of those.

When he arrived to the court, they presented him as the king’s attendant’s nephew. People assume he’s a very quiet young man that’s either too shy or asocial, but a few people know this is a dragon. King Regis thought it convenient to have a dragon as the prince’s second hand, so that in a future people and dragons could learn to live and grow together; with a human and a dragon in lead of Lucis, it’d become a great change for good when Noctis would take the throne.

Clarus knows, too, and the Council, and Noctis, of course.  

They hadn’t told Gladio, though. But Gladio figures it out pretty quickly. He too had assumed that Ignis was just shy and asocial, but he starts paying attention to his behavior and figures out that this guy, Ignis, it a saarantras allowed to go incognito without the bell.

Still, he doesn’t try to approach him. He holds a mostly diplomatic relationship with him, because while Gladio accepts the saarantrai, they can get rude to deal with, or just difficult. Saarantrai not only don’t feel, they also aren’t familiar with many feelings, so sometimes it’s hard to talk with them and have them understand at all. Plus, this particular saarantras doesn’t seem interested in anything; Gladio had tried conversation with him, but Ignis doesn’t reply or just goes super blank on him.

One day, however, he’s at the royal library when the doors open and two forms come in; the university’s director and Ignis, following close behind and with the same blank, serious expression of always, and both are heading his way with a request.

“You want me to teach him human Lucian history?” Gladio asks as if he hadn’t heard well, or as if expecting them to take back their words.

“Your thesis covered the very same aspects and lapses of history that Ignis is interested in” the university’s director explains. “I believed, as you’ve graduated already as top of your class and as it’s best for him to not leave the Citadel for too long due to his duties, and as you two work together here, perhaps you could teach him and guide him into his own thesis.”

“He was top of his class?” Ignis asks to the director as if though Gladio wasn’t there. “He looks like the brute type.”

Gladio knows it’s not an insult and nothing personal, this is just a saarantras with no notion of modesty or sympathy, but it still annoys him. Indeed, it annoys him even more that it wasn’t an insult; insults tend to be forced just to hurt, but this saarantras is only stating what’s a fact for him, and, well, ouch.

Long story short, the two end up together. Ignis was curious about history and studied it, and Gladio’s now in charge of teaching him. Not only does Ignis want to learn history for his thesis, he always wants to study all of it so that he can understand the human history of Lucis much better, seen as his new role asks him to stay there forever and advise a human, so to do that he must understand humans first, right?

“It wouldn’t be wise to guide people when you can’t understand them.”

Again, it’s a fact for the saarantras. But it makes Gladio feel good and makes him grow some admiration for this dragon; Ignis may seem cold and rude, but he’s actually smart and wants to make a good job, not just do it because he was told, and majored in history just for the sake of advising Noctis prudently and wisely. Needless to say, despite their rough beginning, Gladio quickly grows fond of this dragon and tries to be a good teacher and companion for him.

Ignis sticks to him in his free time, because he took the words “Gladio’s your new teacher” too literally. *sigh* typical saarantrai misunderstanding. Saarantrai value the word ‘teacher’, it’s the maximum title of admiration, because a teacher is the base for a future so a teacher is like sacred to them, and Ignis took the words too literally and now he’s following Gladio everywhere. The poor thing sticks to the Shield like a puppy or a kid, except all serious and quiet.

This one day Ignis is going through Gladio’s personal collection of books to see if any of them could be of use for his thesis, and he made two different piles. Gladio had not seen it weird at first, but when he got closer to see what kind of separation he was making, he saw that one pile was history and the other was novels.

“Why are you piling up the novels?”

“I was seeing how many of those you have” Ignis explains. “There’s so many. But these have no value. They don’t have any facts, they’re only…what do you call them? ‘Imaginary’ stories. Why do you keep all these useless texts? Do you use them for analysis of human psychology?”

“Actually, I just like them.”

“Oh. True. I forgot you’re human.” There’s a long pause. “What is so interesting about these? I see some humans going crazy about novels. But I don’t understand why. It’s full of lies.”

“Well, we’re aware it’s lies. We call it fantasy or imaginary content. I guess that we like them because they’re interesting and make us feel good.”

Ignis blinks at him blankly. He understands but doesn’t at the same time. He gets the point but…really, explaining that to a saarantras is useless.

“Why?”

“Hm…I don’t know. They may have suspense, and getting to the resolution is satisfying. Or it may be romance, and we may feel moved. Or it can be tragedy and we can cry and clean the heart.”

“Crying cleans the heart? That’s interesting, I had not heard about it before. How does it work? I assume the eyes must be connected to the heart in some way. I have learned some things of human biology but I’ve never heard of a direct connection of eyes and the heart, let alone the-”

“No, no” Gladio tries not to laugh. “I mean…it’s only a metaphor. It’s not biology.”

“Ah, metaphors” Ignis brushes it off and continues looking in the books. “We’re bad at metaphors. Us dragons, I mean. So if it doesn’t really clean the heart, what’s the purpose of making yourself cry with a text made out of lies?”

“You’re very curious for a saar, you know?”

“I doubt curiosity is an emotion.”

Gladio doesn’t respond. He laughs a bit and Ignis just stares at him not understanding the motif of laughter.

They continue their days with Gladio teaching Ignis and Ignis following him everywhere like an obedient but expressionless puppy, and with each day Gladio starts finding that more and more adorable for some reason. Ignis walking behind him or at his side, watching him with those beautiful green and super curious eyes, sitting with him to eat even if it’s in silence, sometimes following him while in pajamas, it’s absolutely adorable for some reason.

One day Gladio’s reading one of his novels while Ignis is writing some document. The saarantras looks up at his human teacher at times to see how he’s doing; sometimes Gladio’s smiling, sometimes he’s blank, sometimes he’s serious, sometimes he has this nervous human tic of biting his nails, and a few times he’s chuckling. Ignis tries to rein it in because it’d be innapropiate and novels are senseless…but…

“Explain it to me.”

Gladio looks up from his reading and finds Ignis standing in front of him, serious.

“What?”

“The novel” Ignis points at the book. “Explain it to me. It makes you smile sometimes, and then you’re nervous, and then you’re happy again. I don’t understand. You are aware the things written in there are not real. Why do they make you feel things, if you know it’s only lies?”

“Hm…well…I don’t think that’s something a saar can understand. No offense. It’s just…it’s hard to explain why something makes you feel things, you know?”

“Then describe it to me” Ignis says. “The story. Tell me about it.”

Gladio’s a bit confused and hesitates at first, but eventually he has Ignis sit with him, and he tells him the story of the book, about the heroine, the prince in dismay, the evil daemons, the plot and characters. The more he says the more stupid he feels, because Ignis shows no emotion to what he’s saying, so Gladio fears he’s getting all excited telling this story and Ignis just doesn’t get it, and Gladio feels stupid because he sees how silly it is to tell a fictional story.

Ignis just nods and thanks him, and goes back to work, and Gladio feels stupid.

But, the next day, Ignis has the same request.

“Could you please tell me the story of another of those novels that you read?” Ignis asks him. He offers no explanation, and Gladio’s surprised but doesn’t question him, and tells him more. Ignis, again, shows no reaction, only thanks him and leaves.

But the saarantras starts asking him for stories every day.

Sometimes, Gladio has Ignis follow him to some play, or to see a dance, or to hear some music, and sometimes Ignis finds Gladio looking at paintings and, as he’s following him, Ignis stays with him all the while that Gladio takes to look at them, not understanding why this human is taking so long to stare at it. But this happens so often, Ignis starts staring at them, too; he has no option. Sometimes Ignis sees Gladio play with his little sister, and some times he sees Gladio reprimanding Noctis, and sometimes rewarding him.

All in all,as time passes, Ignis sees Gladio in his normal life, and sees him in every scheme of the human emotions; angered, sad, happy, relaxed, tense, nervous, mischievous, stressed, everything, all while Gladio still takes him to art exhibitions or concerts and while he’s tutoring the dragon.

At some point, Ignis sees him play with Iris, and when the Shield is done and goes back to the saar, Ignis starts questioning him.

“Gladiolus, I don’t understand” he says.

“What’s the matter, Iggy?”

“I felt…something” the saar tries to explain, the head lightly tilted to a side like a curious bird. “I felt…content?”

“Oh? Well…that’s normal, I guess.”

“Yes, I had felt that before, but this is the first time it happens like this” Ignis explains. “I had felt content being rewarded or seeing things turning out fine. But right now, while I watched you play with your sister…you were laughing so much, she yelped out in surprise and joy and laughter, and you two ran behind each other, shoved each other and laughed, and you hugged her while still laughing, and that’s…that’s when I felt it” Ignis tells him. “I don’t understand. I was not taking part in the game. I was not part of the situation. I was only watching. Why did watching the two of you play make me happy when I was not part of it?”

Gladio’s taken off guard. He’s not sure he knows the answer to that, it’s a bit abstract, and it’s a surprise to see Ignis feeling things, even if as little.

“Well…I guess…joy is contagious?”

“Contagious? You mean like a virus? That’s new to me. I had no idea emotions had a biological manifestation-”

Gladio laughs and decides to let this dragon rant on, but when Ignis hears him laughing he looks at the Shield as if confused and shuts up, looking away. Gladio thinks he messed up and offended the dragon, but that’d be silly; dragons don’t feel so he can’t feel offended. Still, he must have made the saarantras uncomfortable.

Times continues and Ignis still requests him to tell him stories and starts requesting him to take him to more concerts.

“We dragons can master the musical technique” he says, “but you humans have this interesting way of putting…emotion into the music. The phonetic change is notorious; I don’t understand why, but a human playing with…what do you call it? Passion. It sounds…different than a dragon with perfectly clean technique. I want to understand it and how it works.”

Gladio, for a moment, thinks that this may be an excuse, and wonders if Ignis’ real motif is that he’s been enjoying of the concerts. But that’d be silly because dragons don’t feel.

Time goes and Gladio is still being followed by Ignis. They have been caught under the rain, and Ignis has run behind a laughing Gladio, not sure he understands why he laughs but certainly not upset. He’s seen Gladio help an old woman with her bags, not sure he understands why he’s feeling things just by witnessing that. He has been with Gladio when the Shield has stopped to pet a stray and scared kitten (that he ended up adopting), not sure he understands what he feels, but feeling it.

Ignis is not sure of why, but every day he’s more attracted to following Gladiolus. He’s interesting, he says to convince himself, but he feels like there’s another way of explaining it that he can’t name. He sees Gladiolus do things and he doesn’t understand why, but he knows that he admires him more and more for every of those things that he does, and he learns a lot about Gladio with the little actions that he makes.

One day, there’s a royal visit of the prince to the outskirts or in town or something, and so Gladio has to stick by Noctis’ side all the time, as is his duty.

At some point, there’s Niflheim intruders among the people that try to harm the prince, and Gladio fights them off. Ignis, as part of the prince’s retinue above his title of Crownsguard, is forced and escorted to leave with Noctis while the Crownsguard and Shield fight the bad guys off. And, he’s not sure of why, but he kept insisting that he stays…except the thing in his mind isn’t to fight the bad guys off Noctis, the prince is already safe, he’s thinking about ‘why are we leaving Gladiolus behind?’ and all the way he keeps looking back to see if he can spot the Shield, and he’s not sure why.

All the while waiting for Crownsguard to come back to the palace he’s been nervous. More than nervous, he’s anxious. And it makes him twice the anxious to be aware that he’s feeling, and it makes him three times the anxious to see that, as he’s already aware that he’s nervous, he’s trying to calm it down and keep it cool because he’s not supposed to feel, but he can’t. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t calm down, and he hates it and doesn’t understand why emotions are so hard to control. He even considers going out and to the outskirts to shift to his dragon form, to get rid of the anxiety, but he’s not allowed to leave.

He tries to think he’s nervous because they were attacked, but truth is he’s nervous for something…someone else and he knows it.

When he hears the Crownsguard are back (and ‘the injured are in the infirmary’), he requests to go see the injured.

“My human teacher is there” Ignis explains, and when he fears they may think he’s worried, he adds, “I have to see his state and see if it’s worth waiting for tonight’s lesson or if I should look for another teacher.”

The human guards are a bit confused, not sure if they just heard a saar worried or if he’s sincere, but they brush it off and let him in.

Gladio’s badly injured, but awake and stable. He receives Ignis with some shock, not having expected for the saar to visit him, so he guesses Ignis may just have a question and he will take his leave.

Instead of that, Ignis stays at a side of the bed, not replying to the ‘Hey, Iggy. Everything okay?’ He stands there staring at Gladiolus and the floor. His hands moved a little, doing a fist, undoing, doing it again and so on, softly but in a clear…nervous sign. Gladio, confused, asks him again if everything’s fine. His voice is quiet and hoarse; he’s tired and paining, a bandage around the head and covering his already scarred eye, and another on the arm and some around the torso. He’s badly bruised and there’s still some blood on him. It’s bad. And Ignis is staring at it all, every bruise and cut and bandage.

At first Gladio thinks Ignis doesn’t understand, but that makes no sense. This is physical harm, not an emotion, so Ignis should have no reason to be curious and not understand.

Quiet, Ignis sits at his side and still says nothing. Gladio stares at him, a bit worried for the saar. Maybe he’s in shock for the attack, and he has no idea how to handle shock. He’s about to ask him again if he’s fine, and, suddenly, it happens.

He hears Ignis sniffle.

Gladio’s confused at first and thinks he heard wrong, but then he sees the saar move a hand up and clean one of his eyes from under the glasses.

Ignis is crying.

It takes Gladio long to process it and understand. This is a saarantras, a saar. This is a dragon. He can’t be crying. He can’t be…feeling. But there he is, sat right at his side and refusing to look at him, a crying Ignis.

“I don’t understand” Ignis says with a trembling and weak voice. “I am not injured. Why does it hurt?”

Gladio stil takes so very long to process and to do anything that’s not stare and be in shock.

“…where does it hurt, Igs?”

“I don’t know” Ignis cries but still refuses to look at him. “I don’t know, but it does. It didn’t hurt…until I saw you. I am positive pain is not contagious. I’m experimenting…many emotions. And I don’t understand why; all that I did was look at you. Why does it hurt me if it’s you in the bed?”

Gladio still takes very long to reply. He stays very quiet and shocked looking at Ignis, who seems to be very frustrated that he can’t stop crying no matter how much he cleans his eyes.

And realization hits him then.

Ignis is worried. And he cares enough to cry.

“Gods…” Ignis sniffles. “I…should go see the censors…”

“No, no” Gladio hurries, though he’s still weak. “If you go see the censors, all the research you’ve done will be lost. Obviously, it’s the first time you experience fear in these levels, and your body doesn’t know how to handle it. But it’s fine. Don’t go to the censors. If you let them erase your memories of me…all your research will be gone, because all of it you’ve done with me. Don’t go with them. For...your research. Obviously.”

Ignis takes long, and still refuses to make eye contact. He knows this is an excuse; the censors could very easily remove Gladio from his memories without affecting his research and new knowledge. Ignis is aware this is an excuse.

But he nods. He lies to himself because he wants to. And he doesn’t go to the censors. He doesn’t want to forget about Gladio and all they’ve done together.

The next day, Ignis greets Gladio with his usual blank and serious expression, and he rarely visits him at the infirmary. But he does; rarely, but he does. Always with some excuse, or with a question that’s so silly Gladio knows is just an excuse, but Ignis visits. And Gladio knows it may be wrong, but really he doesn’t care; Ignis is showing some sort of worry and care, and that’s very wonderful. Gladio’s always thought that all this ‘not feeling’ is absurd and dragons should let that go. Not like emotions can be controlled, half their effort goes into controlling their feelings, so in some way their ‘we don’t feel to focus 100 percent in work’ is absurd. But that’s something he can’t change.

But he can not expose Ignis, and let this one dragon feel. Because from what Gladio has learned of him, Ignis has a very, very, immensely huge and incredibly kind heart. He should be allowed to feel. He wants him to feel. So none say anything.

And Ignis starts feeling in secret. Indeed, he’s been feeling for a veeeeery long while now, but now he starts feeling being aware of it. And sometimes he feels guilty he’s feeling (and feels guiltier he’s feeling guilt, hahaha), but he goes on with this, putting excuses to himself for the things he does.

And the concerts continue, the plays, the poems and stories that Gladio narrates and tells to him, and, once, Ignis took one of Gladio’s novels and read it in secret. And after that one he picked another, and another, and he thinks he’s being subtle, but Gladio knows his books, and notices when one is missing. But he pretends he has no idea.

Sometimes he hears Ignis sighing during a concert, and Gladio pretends he didn’t hear. Sometimes he hears him gasp in the suspense part of a play, and pretends he didn’t hear. Sometimes he’ll smile while watching people dance, and Gladio will again pretend he’s not seeing. But he is seeing. A smiling Ignis…Gladio likes to see a saar experiment feelings and show little, tiny demonstrations of it, it’s super interesting and new, but from all the things that he likes to see Ignis experience, he really likes to see the saar smile. It’s rare, and absolutely beautiful. Ignis’ saarantras is absolutely beautiful on its own; when he smiles in that form…the gods bless. That beauty is amplified.

One day, at a royal ball, Ignis sticks with Gladio as he’s always done (except now it’s because he wants to), and Gladio enjoys watching the saar smile watching others dance. It took him a while, but he got to make Ignis see how to enjoy watching. It’s not rare that a saar dances; they do can feel but only to certain levels and do things involving art, so dancing is not rare.

And Gladio puts that as excuse when he asks him for a dance.

And there go the two, into the mass of people to dance. Gladio, taller, takes the leading role and grabs one of Ignis’ hands and puts the other to his waist. Very curiously, he sees the saar react to that; Ignis looks at him for a moment with a bit of surprise. Ignis stares down and away and stutters a bit and tries to talk stuff, and Gladio’s a bit surprised. Did he just see a saar…going shy? Dragons can’t blush because they have silver rather than red blood, but he wondered, had Ignis been able to, would he have blushed?

The two dance one, two, three songs, and they could have gone for a fourth. But Ignis sees a censor staring at him and worries that he’s shown too much emotion during the dancing without noticing. He’s sure he’s been reining some laughs in, and he’s had half of his focus into not smiling too much while Gladio has him dancing all through the entire hall with a grace he didn’t know possible in a man his size, but he wonders if maybe one or two inappropiate ones escaped him and the censor saw it. So Ignis stops them there. Gladio doesn’t complain, but he feels a bit sad that they won’t continue. Ignis is a very good dancer.

Some days later, Ignis is helping Gladio arrange the books of his personal collection, in his office. They’re very quiet, but Gladio doesn’t mind. It’s Ignis who, while arranging books and taking that as excuse to not look at him, starts some conversation.

“Gladio. I’ve been experimenting some feelings that I hadn’t had before.”

That’s not new. Some saar can live among humans and stumble upon a new feeling only after years, and it’s difficult for them to name them.

“Sure. Describe it to me?”

“Well…I don’t know. This is the most abstract I’ve experienced.”

Gladio thinks he won’t talk again, but the saar sighs and tries it.

“Sometimes, I really want to see you.”

Gladio stops with the books after putting two in their place. At first he did not process the words, and when he does, he turns to look at the saar. Ignis too is looking at him. They keep eye contact for a moment before Ignis looks away and continues with the books and shelves.

“It’s difficult to explain. But sometimes, I want to see you to the point where it feels like…a necessity. Like my day is not complete without seeing you first. I have the literal necessity to see you, to hear you talk, and sometimes that you talk to me, and that you see me. It makes me happy, that part I do understand. But I don’t understand why it’s…a necessity.”

Gladio feels his own face become red, and a ranch of chocobos in his tummy. He’s already half-accepted to himself his own crush on the dragon, but had said nothing because 1. That’s bestiality in some way 2. That’s sick in the eyes of society and 3. It’s senseless to fall in love with someone that literally can’t (or isn’t allowed to) feel. To hear Ignis say this sort of things, it makes his heart race. He’s been a bit flustered whenever Ignis compliments him (in his awkward and sometimes harsh dragon way), but this…is new. And it makes him very flustered.

He takes some moments before he says anything.

“I guess…you’re just growing fond of my presence.”

“That is true” Ignis nods, not looking at him. “But it’s different. Sometimes, when you tell me something positive about myself, or when you find me staring, I really don’t want you to see me, and I feel…” he gestures with the hand as if not finding the word. “…this thing. I feel tickles in my stomach, but I’m positive I have no parasites. And my heart speeds up, but I’ve seen the doctor and I’m positive it’s in good conditions. And I wish…sometimes, that you can touch my face, or my hand. It feels nice, but I don’t understand the physiological reason. And I really want you to see the positive things in me. But thing is, I feel all this only when it’s about you, not with anybody else. Is that normal? What is it?”

And that’s when Gladio understands, simply because that’s absolutely normal in every human when they experience it, and because he’s been feeling it too. He’s taken completely by surprise and the only thing he can do is look at Ignis with widened eyes and the mouth slightly open. Ignis continues arranging the books with his usual blank expression. Sometimes he looks at Gladio but turns his attention to the shelves again, as if he had just said that the sky is blue instead of that…implicit, maybe accidental confession.

“Well…” Gladio starts, a bit quietly, and with the heart in the throat. “…I think…I think that’s…called…’having a crush’…”

Ignis continues with the books for a moment, stops, blinks and turns in Gladio’s direction.

“Don’t be ridiculous” Ignis says. “I have read about this whole crush issue. For the sake of investigation, of course. And what I’ve learnt is that ‘having a crush’ is just the human explanation for a fully egocentric, selfish and sometimes narcissistic necessity of wanting somebody else to compliment you, gift you things, and be good to you with silly gestures like the hold of hands or kissing. It’s disgusting and only the psychological necessity of having somebody making you feel good.”

Gladio smiles a little, with some sympathy; he likes that Ignis knows a lot of things, but the poor thing should just learn to feel freely.

“And that’s not what you feel?”

“…of course not” Ignis says with a slight hint of hesitation. “I mean, there are some symptoms, I won’t deny. But I discard it from being a ‘crush’ because of the entire ‘I want you to make me feel good’ argument. That is not the case. It’s the opposite of the case.”

“Then, you don’t want me to make you feel happy?”

There’s a long pause, like Ignis is thinking or hesitating.

“Partly” Ignis says. “I was afraid it would be this ‘crush’ thing, so I have dedicated great time to think it through and analyze it, and that’s not the core of this…emotion. It is one part, but more like an extension of it, not the core.”

“So what is the core?”

“Almost the entire opposite…I think” Ignis looks utterly confused at this point. “I stopped to think, what if you don’t want me nearby, though? This necessity to go to you, to see you, to hear you, that’s all that I want from you. But what about the scenario where you don’t want me nearby? And I thought, ‘what would I feel if that was the case? Would I stop thinking about Gladiolus if he asked me to get away?” he looks at Gladio again. “And the answer was no. Even though I do desire your attention, I realized that even if I didn’t have it, I’d still feel…rather fond of you” he scratches his head, confused. “I realized I would not mind if you didn’t want me nearby. It’s what you’d want and what’d make you comfortable. And, indeed, I realized that I would do exactly as you requested from me, because I want you to be comfortable. I would like to do as you told me because I want to know you’re…not upset, I guess?”

Ignis continues accommodating the books, as if he was talking about the weather.

“And not only would I do as you told me. I’d also stay nearby, without invading your space. I don’t understand the sudden necessity, and it may be only because I’m in age of mating and perhaps some parental instincts blossom, but…” he shrugs. “…I sort of desire to look after you. Even if from afar. I desire to see you safe and comfortable. I desire to act as some sort of guardian for you, even when I know you don’t need it, and I wouldn’t mind not telling you and I wouldn’t mind that you’d never know.”

He turns to look at Gladio again.

“I don’t understand why. But I want to protect you. In all senses. Whether you compliment me or not, or thank me or not, I have this…necessity to look at you, from nearby or afar, and know you’re safe, healthy, and happy. And that’s not a crush, I read everything about them. Crushes are the desire of being together, and what I feel…I wouldn’t mind if you pushed me away of your life. I’d still feel like this. I don’t understand it; I earn nothing from it. It’s entirely selfless and gives me no reward. Indeed, it only takes from me time and effort. Yet, I wouldn’t like to live any other way if it’s not protecting you. I’ve done research about human emotions, but cannot name this one. If it’s not a crush, what is it?”

By this point, Gladio’s mouth is open and he’s not breathing. He’s not sure Ignis is conscious of the weight of what he’s saying, or the strange beauty to itself. This saar is saying things like always, as a fact, a statement and not anything poetic, and yet it caused Gladio’s heart to flutter inside himself. And this, what Ignis describes…it’s exactly the same to what he feels.

And now that Ignis has described it in such a as-a-matter-of-fact way, he understands it, too.

Gladio’s not sure if he should get close. Ignis has shown to reject physical approaches, mostly any hand nearby the neck (due to dragon stuff, I’ll explain in another post, maybe). He’s not sure if it’s inappropriate or not. But he gets a bit closer; enough to make it intimate, but without invading Ignis’ personal space.

The saar stops with the books and looks at him, expecting his answer. Gladio looks surprised, and there’s some hints of both terror and absolute joy, and it only makes Ignis frown with confusion. He doesn’t understand how a human can feel two so very different things at the same time.

“I think…” Gladio smiles at him. “…that it’s called ‘love’.”

WOAH, this just got so long, I’ll stop here but could write more if you guys want. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

But basically I want Saar Ignis with human Gladio discovering emotions can I pls have that

Also imagine if the censors caught him hhahshasjkashsakah

Also the first time they’d make love would be WONDERFUL because of the neck thing I couldwriteaboutthat I could-

Imagine Ignis in his DRAGON FORM protecting Gladio hndfngndfg

Imagine the censors don’t catch him, Ignis goes to them bc they threatened to kill Gladio if he didn’t and Ignis won’t mind giving up his memories of him so long that keeps Gladdy safe *cries*

Gladio allowed to ride Iggy for a flight aaaah

I WANT SAARANTRAS IGNIS TO LAUGH, TOO.

*GASPS* DRAGON IGNIS FIGHTING A DRAGON ARDYN

I want this AU :’(