#hmmmm @ the people in the notes saying an author has to make it obvious they think something is messed up

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

Ask game for Chase?

The pupper ever!! Also two other people asked for Chase while I was already working on it XD I'm sorry it's taking me literally days to get them all done, I'm having trouble to think properly on what to say for some stuff in these

My first impression - I'm not tanking this. His car is blue and white, he's a cop and HIS NAME IS CHASE. HMMMM WHERE HAVE I SEEN THIS BEFORE, OH I WONDER--

My impression now - He's precious. No, really. A+ for effort in everything he does but he should learn to relax a little more, just a liiiiiiiittle more

Favorite thing about that character - He's always willing to try new things out of his comfort zone and he always gives it his best, plus his loyalty levels are off the charts

Least favorite thing - He's too much of a people pleaser Istg-- Chase, sweetheart, you're supposed to be a figure of authority XD And this will sound like a dumb thing to dislike but I dislike the fact he's a German Shepherd. I think it's too obvious a breed for police dogs and he doesn't LOOK like one at all for me. When I first saw him without his gear, I was like "Wait is he a Belgian Malinois??? Omg please yes that would be cool to not have a German Shepherd as a Police Dog for ONCE" but yeah my dreams were crushed quickly on my first Google Search on him

Favorite line/scene - It's not specifically the line, but mostly the scene: Have you EVER seen Chase refuse a job or go against Ryder???

I know he ended up changing his mind after that talk with Ryder, but IN THIS MOMENT, he stood his ground and said NO. It's even in his body language: His ears are slightly back, his expression is serious like "don't even try arguing with me on this", his tail isn't relaxed, his paw stomping on the floor to make his point. Notice his frown even deepens as the elevator door closes just before it goes down. This is SO IMPORTANT to me you have no idea, especially considering how much of a people pleaser Chase is and how he holds Ryder as the most important person in his life. We know Chase would do anything for Ryder. But at this exact moment? He was decided to NOT do something for Ryder. This is such a powerful, yet overlooked and underrated scene, as well as character development. It encapsulates perfectly how there's so much more to Chase than any of us knew so far.

Favorite interaction that character has with another - Mighty Movie Skase moment #2 (I think? I counted at least 4 big moments) when Chase goes to check on Skye when she was sulking on the back of the Aircraft Carrier. Her problems there are totally out of his league, he literally cannot relate to anything she's currently going or went through in the past- still he tries to show support the only way he can at the moment, by being there for her, by listening to her. He's a keeper, Skye, go for it XD

A character that I wish that character would interact with more - Marshall and Zuma. They used to play a lot before, but now...? I'm still at the 8th season and I'm seriously missing those fun and slice of life moments

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character - Leonardo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, specifically 2012 series

A headcanon about that character - I think Chase was one of those kind of puppies who just didn't know when to fucking STOP. 24/7 playful baby. Also a natural explorer, always sniffing everything, licking everything, maybe biting, touching, scratching, growling, barking at anything new for a while. Ever curious, always being the puppy to go ahead of the others, "exploring the waters to open the way and make sure it's safe for the others to come after him". On a second note, I've seen one too many people returning adopted puppies for this reason here where I live, because "they're a handful and I wasn't expecting this" 🤦🏽‍♀️

A song that reminds of that character - "Nothing Can Stop Me Now"

An unpopular opinion about that character - Idk why all the hate, even if you're ACAB, it's not like Chase even does a cop job at all XD Have you seen him arresting someone outside from movie verse? If anything, you'd WANT your cops to be like him LMAO

Favorite picture - Y'know how in the first movie Chase was in absolute awe when he saw his new car for the very first time? YEAH, like, he KNOWS Ryder designs and gets them crazy cool stuff, and it doesn't stop him from getting UTTERLY AMAZED every time. Tbh I had the same reaction as them all when I saw that sick af Mustang-looking police cruiser like HOLY SHIT YOU GET THE COOLEST TOYS-- AND YOU GET TO CATAPULT THEM DOWN THE HOT WHEELS RAMP AT TOP SPEED TOO??? Win for life.

[hufflautia]

A Hidden Darkness

A/N: I wish I had thought of this idea in time for Halloween.

Warnings: This story is a little creepy and has something to do with the supernatural. If you are not comfortable with that kind of stuff, avoid this fic. 

Dedicated to @sophiexteresa; thank you for helping me out with British slang :’) 

Summary: Slytherin notices that Hufflepuff is acting strange...a little too strange. 

Boom!

Ravenclaw immediately drew back from the table, laughing as he pointed at Slytherin; the mini-explosion singed the edges of his hair. 

“Bloody hell,” Slytherin grumbled, gingerly rubbing his slightly-burned face. “This game is a load of bollocks.” 

He raised an eyebrow as he gathered the remaining cards. “Mate, you were the one who wanted to play Exploding Snap.” 

“Yeah, because I wanted the cards to explode in your face.” 

Ravenclaw rolled his eyes and grabbed a handful of popcorn, chucking it at him. 

Slytherin managed to block the attack with his hand, but some landed on his shoulder. As he brushed the popcorn off, he suddenly felt something prodding at the back of his neck. It felt like someone was...sniffing his hair? 

He turned around and saw Hufflepuff standing there, her face so close to his that he could feel her breath. “Hey,” he smiled, not registering the fact that it was likely she who just sniffed him. “Alright?” 

Hufflepuff gave him a blinding smile and grabbed his hand. “I need you,” she replied, tugging him out of his chair. 

“But I’m—” 

“Playing cards with Ravenclaw? You can do that later.” 

As she led him out of the Great Hall, Slytherin wondered how she knew what he was gonna say. He brushed it off quickly; she could clearly see what they were doing. However, something was definitely strange about her. Hufflepuff would usually greet Ravenclaw kindly if she saw him, but she barely spared him a second glance. 

Hufflepuff came to a stop after they passed through the entrance of the Great Hall and turned to face him. “I need to ask you something.” 

“Why couldn’t you just ask me before?” 

“Because Ravenclaw was there.” 

He frowned and said, “But you’ve never had a problem with him before.” 

She made a face at him. “He’s an ickle know-it-all. Should’ve socked him in the face, I should.” 

He was taken aback—Hufflepuff never behaved like this. She was always sweet and kind, but she was the complete opposite now. 

“What’s up with you,” he asked. “You’re acting like a completely different person. And ickle? You’ve never said that before.” 

She glared at him. “People change, Slytherin. Besides, I didn’t bring you out there just for you to berate me.” Her tone was calm, but Slytherin could sense the repressed hostility hidden beneath her words. 

She seemed to realize that he was staring at her strangely because, in the next moment, she suddenly straightened up and smiled at him widely. "But no reason to fuss about it any longer," she cooed in an oily voice, pinching his cheek. "You're here now, and that's all that matters." 

Slytherin studied her face and immediately picked up on the fact that her smile was forced. "Right then," he said slowly, still put off by her demeanor. "What was it you wanted to ask?" 

Her expression immediately darkened, and she stepped forward. He fought the urge to take a step back. What was going on with him? This was his girlfriend he was dealing with. She never meant any harm...so why did he feel so uneasy? Her next words sent chills down his spine. 

"Would you be able to tell if someone—no, if something were to possess my body?" 

Slytherin stared at her, hoping that she would crack a smile and burst out laughing, saying that it was just a prank and she successfully fooled him. 

However, she did no such thing. Instead, she stared at him with those dark eyes that he usually found endearing, but there was a coldness to them. An emptiness. 

"I..." He trailed off, unsure of what to say. What could he say? A feeling of discomfort festered within him, and he spoke again. “Uh, maybe? I think it'd be obvious if you started climbing on the walls or something.” 

Nodding, Hufflepuff seemed to mull over his answer before her face broke into a huge smile. “Alrighty then.” She suddenly plucked a piece of popcorn that had been lying in the collar of his shirt and popped it in her mouth. “Can I watch you play Exploding Snap with Ravenclunk?”  

“I thought you didn’t like Ravenclunk.” 

“I wanna see the cards explode in his face,” she shrugged. 

Slytherin hummed a laugh, momentarily forgetting how unusual she was acting, and began leading her back into the Great Hall. He felt a tug at his hand and turned back, only for Hufflepuff to smash her face onto his. 

The kiss was rough and sloppy, an alarming contrast to how they normally kissed. Drawing his bottom lip between her teeth, she bit down hard enough to make him pull away abruptly. He gingerly touched his lip and found his fingers to be stained with blood. He looked back up at her, shocked.  

A bit of his blood smeared across her teeth, she smiled coyly. “Sorry,” she said, not sounding sorry in the slightest bit. “You know I get carried away sometimes…” 

Slytherin didn’t respond and simply stood there like a statue, face awash with horror as he stared at her. 

“I’ve gotta go now. I have lots to do today.” With that, she ambled away, leaving Slytherin standing there and looking as if he had just seen a ghost. 

Hufflepuff wandered through the corridors, letting her hands brush against the cobblestone wall as she inhaled the sweet smell drifting from the Kitchens.  

I have to admit, the voice cackled. This is quite luxurious. It’s interesting to be human for once. Smell, taste, touch. I have much to explore.   

Please, Hufflepuff begged, trapped within the confines of her body against her own will. Let me go! 

Peeves laughed gleefully inside her mind. 

But I’m having so much fun.

FIN.

~

Check out my masterlist! | Kind comments and reblogs are most appreciated :)

Author’s note: 

This may be my least favorite fic out of all that I have written. Last night, when I was writing it, I didn’t feel happy and a part of me wanted to discard what I wrote so far because I was like “jessica this is so dumb” but I didn’t wanna throw out what I wrote so far. I’m not even sure if Peeves is able to possess someone’s body, and after I finished writing, I thought “well what if I keep it ambiguous and it’s just some random demon?”. However, I had done some research on how Peeves talks, hence the “ickly”, and I didn’t wanna take out the hints of Hufflepuff not really being Hufflepuff. In addition, it doesn’t seem very hogwarts-like or harry potter related if it were just a random demon. That’s why I thought Filch to be the best option. I thought of this idea yesterday when my sister was acting creepy while we were in the bathroom in the morning. I was brushing my teeth and she was on the toilet, and she straightup looked at me with dead eyes and asked “Would you be able to tell if a demon possessed me?” and I was like

She was twitching and everything, and as I was walking out of the bathroom, she came up right behind me and SNIFFED MY HAIR. Yea, so that was my inspiration for this fic. My initial idea for the ending was that as Hufflepuff walks back with Slytherin to the table, her eyes glow a little and she smiles wickedly. However, I was like hmmmm what if she bits his lips and he bleeds a little?.. Yea, don’t ask me why I thought that. I don’t think I would ever write a fic that includes that bit because slytherpuff doesn’t have that rough-love type of vibe, so I just thought, oh whatever might as well do that now when I have the chance.  

In other news, happy March! This is gonna be the month in which I get the rest of my college results and I am a little nervous. Also, I’m going to go on a hiatus because I feel myself going down a spiral right now and it’s likely because my period is coming😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀What fun, am I right??? I get bad PMS, so I’m just gonna leave and focus on my own wellbeing for some time because I tend to get depressed during my period. I might write a bunch of stories and then come out from the dark and then post consistently. I think I am kind of posting consistently already; I have never posted as many fics as I had in February, which is interesting and hopefully not a once-in-a-lifetime thing because I’m done with the college process but now I also have to deal with my own issues in terms of mental health and stuff. It sucks but I will get better. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this fic. Let me know what you think! 

Tags: slytherpuff-shenanigans @axieleration @sunnniiee @just--another--bean​ @determinedpines @zenobiagrace @asterinflower @cinnamon-roll-unicorn @mossy-axolotl @dumbbitch11 @hitchhiker-of-the-galaxy @notsowiseravenclaw  @arianatorpotterhead @eatacrackerandstop @luciferswife16 @walkinganomaly @asunshinepuff @lewispoolerpayton @adreameratdawn @thewitcheswords @oncergleekpotterhead @princessstoopid @stardustzainy @flvrqnce @multi-fandom-nutjob @eunnieah @iamahufflepuff @1hufflepuff @introvertedrae @princessstoopid @jasminedayz @magnoliamermaid @HOPEFUL-HUFFLEPUFF-PEEVES @peanut-in-the-goal @pufflehuff929 @sophiexteresa @da-fox-rangerrr @dawinehouse @shipping-book-keeper @xxavaloraxx @silverhetdanes @im-a-solanum-lycopersicum @elegantcroissantplaidpony @theoriginaljohnwatsonsblog @theoriginalsherlockholmesblog @vickeyunicorn @arianatorpotterhead @hmilkwhoney @simpering-simpleton @grandcyclecreation @sweetinvisiblewriter @marvelenthusiast10 @mvlpksvthisht @qiaopa @beardedhumanoid @jadefox05 @justanotherperson @inkedintothepaper @minty-malfoy @trippy-morgan @fangirlgeekandfreak @boilyourteeth @absentmindeduniverse @colettedelaurel @halfelven1 @happy-puff @coloring-bud @in-love-with-remus-lupin @autumnpleaves @crakencc @flyme--tothemoon @hedgepuffgirl @littleemotionalpanda @pancakes-and-sugar @korra4321 @aquietkindofthunder @qixnsriess @porksoba @thatfann @hellounicorn @i-have-a-bad-feeling @aasa2102 @zuko-28 @annie-mcl @clementines-x @writtenfoxscreams @randomwriter23 @cryingabtwandavision @coolninjavoid @urfaveslytherin @malfoys-demigod @tumlbr-trasher @violayaxley @wolfpack-arts-industries99 @zainieees-stuff @milk-leaves @priii @capt-sparrow @blueberry-9-pancakes @stressy-depressy   

[haleigh-sloth]

What do you think of the notion that Hori might be ending the series earlier than expected because he knows Bones and Shueisha/Jump are franchising the hell out of MHA, what with 6 more movies still in the pipeline and an ever-increasing amount of spin-off mangas, all of which he'll feel compelled (or be heavily pressured) into creating tie-in side content for alongside writing the main manga? Or am I overestimating the impact this side stuff actually has on Hori's workflow?

Well first, I don’t think this is sooner than expected really. He said he had intended for the final act to be five volumes, but obviously miscalculated lol. But regardless that tells us he’s serious about ending it now. He’s been trying to end it. In fact, I think it’s possible he’s been trying to end it for a while:

The title here seems kind of finale-ish. It’s only volume 11 (Kamino arc chapters). This kind of matches up with his original intent on not doing villain profiles at first, but then the story “evolving beyond that”. He’s changed his mind a bunch, but I think he’s wanted to get close to the ending for a while now. But the war arc didn’t leave off on the note he wanted, because it couldn’t. So here we are, watching him try to wrap all of that up.

So, I think BNHA needs to end. Like soon. But I’ll get to that. What I’m more interested in knowing is exactly how much input does the author have into the spin off content, light novels, movies, etc. I know they ✨say✨ that Hori has to give the final stamp of approval before things are published. But does he? Like does he read through it all before saying he approves? I’m certain he does some of it, or maybe little parts of everything, but all of it? I ask because it seems that the man can’t even get a firm grip on his own main story line. The editor is ruining all kinds of stuff with his own input, so why should I believe the side content is actually thoroughly run through Hori and that he has the final say? Also, with that impossible schedule I just don’t know how that would be possible. I mean yes you can make time for anything, but there is a LOT of side content coming out constantly. So idk, I’m skeptical of that. I’m also skeptical because it’s interesting how there is NO side content for the villains. And I’m not saying “the villains are better so we deserve content for them 😤😤”, I’m saying that they are legitimate characters with prominent parts in the story so it just makes me wonder if Hori himself doesn’t want to risk certain characters of his getting misrepresented in side content that isn’t written by him.

So branching off of that, I do feel that it’s a bit soon to see just how fast we’re barreling to the ending. But it’s possible that maybe he is ending it sooner than what the story led us to believe in order I preserve the main story he created. Meaning, the sooner he ends it, the less chance of another fucking movie interjecting.

But aside from that, I feel that he’s ending it simply because it needs to end. Like, I’ve never understood why people want stories to just keep on going forever. I get not wanting to leave the world of the story, and that’s where the side content comes in (if you’re into those, I’m typically not). But I’ll never understand people wanting a story to be ruined by being drug out just for the sake of getting new content. Also, if it wasn’t obvious—Hori is reaching his limit. It’s obvious with the sudden breaks he’s taking. Scheduled breaks? Normal. But suddenly not making the deadline because of his health? That’s pretty unacceptable tbh. Not on HIS part, but on the people demanding him to work non stop til he drops dead. Idk how he makes a chapter a week. I really really don’t. But it’s also obvious in the story. The writing is getting incredibly lazy. The last chapter felt like straight up advertisement, and idk where we’re going with this American hero lady. But everything else from that is just being so sloppily handled. He’s tired.

I would much rather him end it sooner than later so that his drive to actually give us a good ending doesn’t die out. Like at a certain point, I’d be worried he’d stop caring about the ending altogether. Luckily, I think he cares a great amount. I also think he really likes his villain characters a lot more than he lets on in interviews and stuff. It’s obvious in the story. So I do think he is going to try to nail the ending for every character, but I’m lowering my expectations for the nitty gritty details on the path to that ending.

Idk that you’re overestimating the impact it has on his workflow, because if he really REALLY does give the final stamp of approval before all that side stuff is published, then wow. What a fucking work schedule. And I thought I had it rough working in CPS. Lol. But I personally am skeptical of just how much input he gives into Team Up Missions and Vigilantes. Vigilantes is it’s own thing entirely and I can’t imagine him basically overlooking two separate mangas. Team Up Missions is just about the kids (if I remember correctly? I don’t read it so idk for super sure) so it’s not hard to make content for them. They’re easy. Lol. The light novels, I feel is a little more realistic for him to have a say in those since those are released way more sparsely than the other content. Those, I believe he looks over. Everything else I’m kinda “hmmmm idk”.

But anyway, I think it’s ending because it freaking needs to. That being said I do hope he’ll give like, little surprise epilogue chapters later down the line. Like how is Shigaraki doing? Toga? How are Touya and Shouto with their family, how are Midoriya and Bakugo doing as heroes, stuff like that. But like….a bit of time after it ends. Kinda how Takaya did with the extra fruits basket stuff. Just surprise us here and there lol. Unrelated, but I hope Hori writes something else later. Only this time with everything he wants and because he’s already become wildly successful, he won’t need to adhere to editors if he doesn’t want to. I feel like if he had free reign of his story, he’d make something really really good. And I hope he makes something later with all the elements he wants. But before that—REST. Lol.

[tlbodine]

An Irritated Review of an Aggressively Bad Book

As a child of the 90s, I cut my teeth on R.L. Stine’s books. Goosebumps in elementary school, graduating up to Fear Street -- with its guts and gore! -- by my tweens. But the time came when I had voraciously consumed all of the R.L. Stine at the library, and I hungered for more books in the same vein. 

Which led me to Christopher Pike. 

Christopher Pike was another of the “Point Horror” series writers popular through the 80s, and they were an obvious thing to recommend to a budding young horror fan (especially as his books tended to be popular with young girls, thanks to the romantic subplots they often featured). But I just never really enjoyed them. I read a handful, shrugged it off, and eventually moved on to reading Stephen King and other adult authors instead. 

Which brings us to this motherfucker. 

@comicreliefmorlock​ sent me a small stack of vintage YA horror titles, because reading ridiculous cheesy teen thrillers sounded like good nostalgic fun. 

But this book isn’t the fun kind of cheesy. It’s the kind of cheesy that drives me to start blogging in irritation at 12:57 am. Because this book isn’t just bad, it is aggressively bad, and it says a lot about 1984 and the state of horror fiction and YA fiction and publishing in general that this fucking book launched Christopher Pike’s career. 

So let’s talk about this sumbitch below the cut.

The story is about a group of teens who meet up for a ski weekend. The girls were all very close when they were younger, but drifted apart after an accident that left one friend badly burned and her little sister dead. The burned-friend is the one whose family owns this very fancy house and so graciously invited everyone to come hang out. 

Our characters don’t really get much in the way of actual characterization, but here’s the cast: 

Nell, who has some facial scarring and whose family is apparently loaded

Nicole, the dead little sister

Lara, the main character (ostensibly)

Dana, who likes to eat and crack jokes (funny fat friend solidarity fist bump)

Rachael, the gorgeous blonde beauty rival of Lara

Mindy, who chews gum

Celeste, a shy girl with back problems who they’ve befriended somewhat recently 

They arrive and hand over their keys to a park ranger to valet-park their car while marveling at how they don’t really know if he was a real park ranger, because I always give my keys to strangers when visiting an isolated location. Celeste asks some innocent questions about why the group hasn’t hung out recently, and the group neglects to mention the dead sister, but the reader figures it out. 

Don’t worry, we’ll hear all about that in a moment. But first there’s a small, stupid mystery about a disappearing snowman, that melted really fast like it was burned and Lara will continue to fixate on this for the rest of the book. 

They spend a little time getting settled in before hitting the slopes. Celeste and Nell hang behind despite being the two people at this gathering who presumably don’t know each other, but they hit it off great right away so good for them. 

At the ski lodge, they run into a pair of boys that Rachael and Mindy know -- Percy and Cal. Lara falls into an instant and irritating infatuation with Percy for some reason, deepening that rivalry with Rachael. Cal creeps on Dana, trying to grope her when they get a minute alone, but Mindy of course gets jealous of Dana for horning on on her man because of course she does. 

Note: The book was written by a man in 1985. 

Anyway, at the ski slopes, Dana disappears, and everyone kind of assumes she’s just trying to avoid Cal even when they find one of her skis sitting in the middle of a very mysterious patch of snow that seems to have some ash and ice in it (just like the snowman! gasp!) but it’s probably fine! 

Somewhere in here we get an entire chapter told in italics to provide helpful background information about how Nicole died -- which involved a bunch of 6th graders at a sleepover getting drunk from stolen brandy in the liquor cabinet, deciding to hold a seance, knocking over a candle, catching Nicole on fire, and then Lara trying to put her out with the brandy (because it’s wet!) and that of course creates a Nicole-Flambe situation. Nicole is whisked away to the hospital and dies there and Lara is wracked with guilt and so forth and so on. 

And scene. Back to the present, where Dana is still missing, they can’t find the ranger who has their car keys, there’s a storm bearing down on them, but of course the most important thing is whether Percy likes Lara better than he likes Rachael. They invite the boys to come over that night. 

Dana’s not back at the house, so Lara calls the lodge to ask for them to have her call if she shows up, but otherwise big shrugs about the friend’s disappearance and presumably being lost in the middle of a storm. Celeste is scandalized that they were going to eat cold cuts at a party and sets to dressing and roasting two whole chickens and a bunch of side dishes, which is of course an extremely normal thing for a teenager to do at a party. 

The boys show up, and Lara feels kind of bad about not really caring where Dana is, except not guilty enough to do anything about it. Dana, you’re too good for these people, get better friends. 

Anyway, they eat and do some drinking then play charades, which Celeste and Nell are eerily good at (hmmmm) and then Cal creeps on Celeste which starts a whole argument culminating in Percy punching him in the face, Cal stumbling backward, and Mindy’s arm catching fire because Nell had bitchily thrown alcohol at her earlier. They throw out the boys and start doing some first aid on Mindy, including dosing her on some codeine that they conveniently have lying around. 

Percy’s gotta go, so Lara walks him out in the woods, refusing anybody else’s offer to come with her so she doesn’t get lost because she wants to make a move on him. There’s some painful flirting, some kissing, some talks about pyrokinesis and the mysterious Dana disappearance (and the snowman! that damned snowman!) and also Percy has a flare gun in his pocket for some reason. 

Gag. Ugh. But ok, fine, Percy gives her the flare gun, presumably because he’s letting her walk back through the woods alone in a blizzard. She scoops up some of the ice from Dana’s disappearance-spot to bring home for evidence and then goes to bed. When she awakens, the ice has melted and she can see bones! and ash! Ahhhh! 

This causes her to panic, so she runs out of the house at 3am into the woods and then, idk, freezes or something. Cal is there for some reason? She conveniently blacks out and awakens to find herself tied up in Nell’s basement. But hey look, Dana’s here! And so is Rachael! 

We helpfully learn that Dana’s been tied up in a closet this whole time. Also, SURPRISE! Celeste isn’t actually Celeste, she’s Nicole! (in case this wasn’t already painfully obvious from all of the foreshadowing). She didn’t die after all! She just assumed an entirely new identity! She was just pretending not to know who Nell is! 

Never mind that Celeste has parents who we have literally talked to in this book (they briefly call to check on her and Lara speaks to them instead). Apparently Nicole’s family....gave her up for adoption? but she’s still really close to her sister? Or else Lara somehow doesn’t realize that Celeste’s parents are Nell’s parents? Literally no part of this is explained in a way that makes any sense at all. 

But anyway, turns out this whole weekend was just an excuse to get everybody together so that Nell and Nicole/Celeste could get revenge by dousing them in kerosene and burning them alive. Like you do. 

There’s a lot of waffling and trying to win over Nicole with the power of friendship, and then she changes her mind about the plan but Nell doesn’t, which leads to some dramatic scuffling and ultimately Lara shoots Nell with Chekhov’s flare gun, but it’s totally OK because her expression is “the most peaceful” Lara has ever seen so that’s cool, and then they manage to rescue Mindy before the house blows up.

From there, we’ve just got some loose ends to tie up. We’re rescued by the suspicious ranger from earlier who it turns out actually is a ranger, so that’s cool. How did he find them? Why, that strapping young man Cal tipped him off that they might be in trouble! 

You heard it here first, folks. Cal, the guy whose characterization up to this point has been “gropes girls without consent” and “tells funny war stories about napalm” is actually the real hero here! What a find stand-up young gentleman that serial offender is. 

Also, again, Dana, you are too good for these people, find new friends. 

Anyway, the girls end up in the hospital, where they promise a vow of secrecy but also Lara and Nicole are totally going to be best friends now, no harsh feelings. Also Lara is totally going to hook up with Percy, because that was definitely the most important thing to come from this weekend and she’s definitely not in any way going to be traumatized about any of this. 

The end. 

distant gagging sounds

[migleefulmoments]

"Fairies= anyone feeling different or told they can't be who they are, perhaps including the LGBT community? Hmm.. Close to his heart? What closer to his heart than the reality he's living?" Does Abby understand that Chris is gay? He was bullied all throughout his childhood for being gay and having a high pitched "girly" voice. He's always talked about feeling different and like he was an outsider in his hometown. I stg she's never listened to word Chris has ever said about himself and his life.

 OMG this submission and Abby’s comments.  Abby didn’t write the part you quoted- her friend did- but she did repost it and call it “brilliant”. She did add her comments to the end where she agreed with the general sentiment and some specific points .  

I didn’t enjoy ATOM. It’s a kids’ book so it doesn’t matter how I felt about it but I was flummoxed how Abby and co. can rave on and on about it. Chris isn’t subtle with his messages, he beats you on the head with it and I thought “how in the world can she not get the point of the story”. Then I read the submission and Abby’s point again while I responded and not only has she never listened to a world Chris has said, she didn’t read the same book that I read.  WTF? Her- and her friend’s- ideas are insane. Pure insane.  They are the vapid ideas of someone who used the book as confirmation bias rather than actually READ the book. The LGBTQ message of the story is blatant and not something you might not catch-it comes with spotlights flashing and blow horns blowing. The idea that it’s about Chris’s own personal adult love story is beyond asinine-what is beyond asinine? Is there even a word? I need a word beyond asinine.  

I added my comments in italics within parenthesis.     

*************************************************************************

Submission from a friend (I posted my brief thoughts at the end). Major spoilers below. Scroll past if you haven’t read and don’t want to know.

First off, just in the note to the readers, I knew this book was going to be full of some good stuff.

Obviously, all interpretations are my own, after my first read through.

“A tale of magic follows a group of young fairies as they fight for acceptance in an oppressive world where magic is outlawed and despised. This story is very close to my heart, and writing it was the most challenging and emotional process I’ve experienced as an author to date. …… I hope it encourages and comforts anyone who may be fighting their own battle for acceptance and equality.”

Fairies= anyone feeling different or told they can’t be who they are, perhaps including the LGBT community? Hmm.. Close to his heart? What closer to his heart than the reality he’s living? (Ya think? Duh. OF COURSE IT IS ABOUT LGBTQ COMMUNITY. If you aren’t SURE that it is about LGBTQ kids then you have no business commenting further).

“If we want to change the world’s opinion it must be encouraged, not forced– and nothing encourages people like a good spectacle.”

Hmm… a spectacle? Sounds familiar. You can’t force anyone to believe anything, but it can be encouraged by opening your eyes to a good spectacle, like say a wedding, and realizing that it just doesn’t make sense if you open your eyes. Nuff said. (Hmmmm...a spectacle? It isn’t about the “spectacle” getting the character’s attention and then acting, it’s about encouraging the world to see “fairies” in a positive light by creating a spectacle.) 

One of the books that Brystal comes across is by Daisy Peppernickel. I think that speaks for itself. It’s clearly known that Daisy is a certain someone’s nickname, especially used by the part of his fans that believe in Daisy. (This is so offensive- Chris would NEVER call his boyfriend a “Daisy” when he was “acting gay” like said fans do. Chris is fighting to normalize differences in society- he isn’t going to immortolize a nickname used as a label for when someone is “acting gay”.)

“.. each author’s cause of death was EXECUTED FOR CONSPIRACY AGAINS THE KINGDOM. … It was a graveyard for truth and an archive of people the Justices had silenced.”

Deleted tweets, accounts vanishing into thin air. This sounds a lot like the conspiracies against (str8) fandom. It’s no secret that people have been silenced. (Right, this is about Chris’s adult pain- not his childhood pain. That is exactly how I read it too (eye roll font). He’s telling 12 yo kids “Don’t worry about high school bullies, families rejecting you and kicking you out of your home before you are 18 and no sweat about conversion theory but LOOK OUT for deleted Tweets and conspiraries from your fandom. That is the hard stuff!)  “All the books in the secret room were written by people who felt and thought exactly like she did, by people who questioned information, who criticized social restrictions, who challenged the systems set in place, and who weren’t afraid to make their ideas known.”

Questioning information? Challenging the system? Not afraid to make their ideas known? Can’t think of anybody that might do that. (Riiiigggghhhhttttt Chris didn’t write a book about accepting everyone regardless of sexual orientation or other differences. Nope, he wrote a book about not believing PR, not accepting the truth and always questioning what celebs say. That’s relatable to kids, right?) 

“Personally, I think life is way to complicated for anyone’s life to be set in stone.”

Even though D seems to be in a death sentence, there’s way more to life and his fate is not set in stone. C believes in his man, and knows he can overcome this. (So more proof Chris ISN’T telling a story to kids about accepting themselves and that it gets better. Instead he’s telling about how his adult life is hard and his lover will be worth the wait no matter how hard it is).  

“Sometimes as  a survival method, fairies suppress their magic so deep within themselves that it becomes extremely difficult to reach it.”

This reminds me of D’s dudebro persona that he brings out. He’s suppressing himself so far that at times he’ll turn himself into a different caricature of himself. We all know Daisy is in there somewhere under the layers of D-bag. (Honestly that quote from the book is so obvious it’s baffling that someone would try to make it anything but what it is. How she can turn that into something specific about an adult’s behavior when the book is written for children is absurd-also notice she is using “Daisy” as a nickname for when he is “acting gay”. When they call Darren “a D-bag” I have to cackle, Darren is who he is and they don’t like him. If you think he’s a D-bag then what are you doing in this fandom? How can anyone over the age of 12 believe that the behavior they don’t like is a charade and the real him is “somewhere under the layers of D-bag” (and therefore rarely seen). Real life isn’t a fiction story and real people don’t act like fictious charaters from TV).  

“It’s very hard watching someone you love in so much pain.”

C watching the person he loves get knocked down over and over, he’s speaking directly from his own experience here. (Again, yes, Chris wrote a Children’s book about accepting yourself and it’s ok to be different but the real message is about being in his 20′s and in love and how hard it is for him to kept apart while ccDarren hides for fame).   

“Horence had the misfortune of falling in love with a witch. … Naturally, such a relationship was forbidden, so for over a decade, Horence and the witch carried on a secret affair. When Horence’s soldiers discovered the relationship, the men betrayed their commander. They burned Horence at the stake and forced the witch to watch it happen.”

Using LGBT to equal ‘magical’ (As I’ve found countless references I haven’t even put in here) D fell in love with someone magical (gay), and their relationship was forbidden and secret. Once their secret was out, the team made D pay for it and C had to watch it all go down with nothing that he could do. (Except throw all his angst into his books ;) ) (Ugh! ORrrrrrrrrrr the book is about how people who are different are outcast and even killed for their differences and in this case, with the book so obvously about LGBTQ kids, it is about being outcast, shunned, or even killed for not being straight).  

“We must pity the people who close to hate, Brystal. Their lives will never be as meaningful as those of the people who choose to love.”

The pathetic souls that do nothing but hate on C C and spread hate will never have as meaningful of a life as those that chose to love and support our boys. (Yes, Chris looked deep into his soul and the one message he wanted to share with children is how hard it is to be a CCer. Chris said “This story is very close to my heart, and writing it was the most challenging and emotional process I’ve experienced as an author to date. …… I hope it encourages and comforts anyone who may be fighting their own battle for acceptance and equality.”  He was so worried about all the straight, middle-age women in the cc fandom that he wrote an entire book about their pain. It isn’t at all a message to kids that says “You ARE special and people who refuse to see how special you are and love you for who you are will be the losers because they will live their life without loving you” nope, this is a story ccers persavering)   

“We all know how terrible keeping a secret can feel. Secrets are like parasites, the longer you keep them inside you, the more damage they cause.”

The longer D is force to stay closeted, the more damage it does to him (Nope, this isn’t about how hard it is for kids to pretend they are someone they aren’t. It’s about how hard it is for 32 yo, $3-millon house buyer Darren Criss to hide in the closet in exchange for fame and wealth. Fuck those kids in Russia).

“If we had had everything we wanted then, we might never have found what we needed now.”

This to me feels like C is actually a little bit thankful for the bumps in the road. He’s trying to look on the bright side. If things had always been easy for them, they might have taken it for granted. Everything they’ve been through has only made them stronger. If they can get through all of this shit alive, they can make it through absolutely anything. (I don’t have enough information to know what this is referring to, but I do know without a doubt that it isn’t about ccDarren and their ccbumpy road of cclove) 

“She dreamed the fairy was repeatedly knocked to the ground by a ferocious monster in a fur coat and snowflake crown.”

The ferocious monster in a fur coat? Makes me think of another monster that wears a fur coat. Shade.  (A monster in a fur coat with a snowflake crown? It’s a literal dream, not a symbolic one. OMG this entire post is so much more ridiculous than I rememered when I read it the first time. An evil villian in a big coat and crown is a common fairytale trope.  I also believe deep in my heart that Chris would never write “This story is very close to my heart, and writing it was the most challenging and emotional process I’ve experienced as an author to date. …… I hope it encourages and comforts anyone who may be fighting their own battle for acceptance and equality.” and then literally bully a real person -even if she was awful). 

“You can stop pretending, Brystal. I know you’re aware of much more than you’re letting on.”

C knows that we know. He’s not living under a rock. (Again, yes, Chris was so worried about the ccers he wrote an entire book to reassure you all.  He’s just pretending it’s about LGBTQ kids and acceptance). 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I refuse to sit back and let a frosty old witch take Madame Weatherberry away from us.”

Frosty old witch= Obviously M (obviously, blech) 

“Do you guys know what your love languages are? Mine is quality time. It used to be physical touch, but that wasn’t working very well, so I had to change it. People are so picky about personal space and–”

C cherishes any quality time that he gets to have with D, since it it’s not always available. (I can’t with this one...they are getting even more embarassing ) 

“Sometimes good people do bad things for the right reasons.”

I have this bookmarked, along with some other passages about the Snow Queen / Mrs. Weatherberry. I know that there’s /some/ significance around this, but I haven’t fully figured out exactly what all it symbolizes. I have a few ideas, but nothing really seems to line up completely to me. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it at some point! (How about it means that “sometimes good people do bad things” or “the end justifies the means”. The story is about a war with a bad witch and as a 14-yo heroine, this is something she would wrestle with. Not every single word is about acceptance, LGBTQ or even cc love.  Some of it is literally the words used to spin the fairytale. I can’t remmber where this was used but I presume it was when Brystol went to fight the Snow Queen).  

I think those are the big things that I’ve bookmarked. There’s so much more I could talk about, but I’m afraid it would start to not make any sense if I just started rambling, so I decided to go off of passages from the book and my thoughts on why I think they’re significant or tie into C C.

You can feel free to just keep this for yourself, or post it at a later date, or take pieces parts to post. Whatever you want!

***********************************

I know I’ve been really bad about posting on the book. I saved this submission because I thought it was brilliant and a lot of great insights.

My opinion on the Madame W/Horence/Ice Queen? C is Madame W/Ice Queen and D is Horence. I too thought frosty old queen at first referred to m. But once the twist was revealed I’m convinced it’s c and his dual personality like the twins. He is a Gemini as he likes to remind us. It’s his struggle between being happy with the love he was blessed with and his desire to destroy for the people that have so gravely hurt them. (So this isn’t a book where Chris gives his readers inspiration and hope for the future? The stories he tells about kids in Russia sharing their stories and their fear of being put to death is all a ruse so he could tell his own ADULT story of hardship? Doesn't his cclove nightmare prove that it doesn’t get better?)

This story is very close to my heart, and writing it was the most challenging and emotional process I’ve experienced as an author to date. …… I hope it encourages and comforts anyone who may be fighting their own battle for acceptance and equality.” 

The quote above to think about most. (Dear @ajw720, yes, because he grew up a bullied kid in a world that didn’t understand him. He was teased for being gay before he knew what the word meant. His voice was too high. He grew up in a town full of people who hate gay people. It’s really sad that you can’t see that Chris wrote a children’s story that is so obviously meant to give acceptance and support to scared, lonely kids from across the globe, many who live in places where being LGBTQ is illegal and punishable by death; many who are at risk for becoming homeless and losing their families if they tell their truth. It is a story that has NOTHING to do with romantic love. It’s written for children who are worried about more basic things like safety, shelter, and family support.  They haven’t progressed to romantic love yet. You believe that Chris felt it was important and appropriate to write a children’s story about the difficulty in his adult cclove affair? You think that Chris read letters from LGBTQ children all over the world and the ONE message he felt he should share is his own adult love affair? That the pain of his starcrossed adult love affair is a more important message than addressing the issues of basic safety for kids at risk of being homeless, beat up, jailed or even killed for being LGBTQ? You think that the lessons he’s learned in the last 10 years as a wealthy, white man in America in a committed relationship are more inspiring to children the world over than his growth and acceptance of who he was in high school and general ideas about acceptance and love? You think all those letters from kids in Russia made him worry about the cc fandom and your struggle? Only a straight woman with no ties to the LGBTQ community could ever envision such a scenario).  

Sometimes good people do bad things for the right reasons

That’s him talking about their Pr life and I’d guess directly addressing the fraud in NOLA. He’s believed in d and he wants us to believe in him too. (Yep, ccChris wanted to inspire kids the world over by talking about PR-because all kids can related to PR- and a wedding that doesn’t seem to bother him or have anything to do with him. ccChris is as shallow as his creator) 

#chris speaks through atom

#atom spoilers

[myupostsheadcanons]

My loooooong rant about The Aen Elle: The Witcher

Book Spoilers, not so much Game Spoilers.

First off, my “elephant in the room” ... Eredin.

In the books he is nowhere near final-boss material like he was in the games. He’s the “That One Boss” rather than “The Big Bad”. Eredin has less of his shit together in the books tbh. He’s like Kylo Ren Evil rather than Voldemort Evil.  They both did extremely bad things and you can’t deny either of them being villainous characters, just different types of evil characters.

Book Eriden has no filter, literally, he says what’s on his mind and doesn’t hesitate to go after what he wants. He’s arrogant and too the point, and doesn’t know what discretion is.

Some of his semi.... alright.... ? qualities:

1. He accidentally insulted Ciri upon first meeting her and apologized right away, he even gave her a flower. 2. He was the only one to be upfront with Ciri that she was a prisoner and will never be released. Even though he did lie to her about her friends being dead and gone. (Unless he wasn’t in his POV and just didn’t understand that TIME means nothing to her).

3. He wasn’t a bad sport about loosing a horse race with her. While he was competitive while it happened, at the end praised her skill and her horse for winning. Note: Kelpie let him pet her on the muzzle. Kelpie, the super horse with a foul temper that Ciri had made sure to note that would bite.... Either this was to show that he is decent with animals or to prove some kind of point of rebuking the “animals hate them” trope that villain characters often get stuck with.

Side Note: Considering he is the commander of mounted combat shock troops for the past several hundred years, it would be logical enough to say that he has a healthy amount of knowledge on horses and their mannerisms and knew if it was safe to pet Kelpie or not.

4. He was honestly trying to help further their people’s common goal when he offered Ciri the aphrodisiac to give Auberon, enough so that he gave it to him himself anyways. And was surprised to learn that it killed Auberon. 

I highly doubt that Eredin’s skilled enough to make the potion properly 100% of the time, or making it more potent/concentrated turned it into a poison  OR, somebody else made it...... (Avallach???? hmmmm???) and gave it to him with instructions on what it does.

((Avallach making it would mean that him getting the hell out of dodge was intentional, that he wanted to be far-far away when Eredin put the puzzle pieces together.))

Auberon, Avallach, and Eredin had a Triumvirate going on. The Unicorns specifically called out all three of them as being dangerous and behind most of what the Aen Elle had been doing. Together they followed the Face/King (Auberon), Brain/Sage (Avallach), and Hand/General (Eredin) .

Just look at the nicknames the Unicorns gave the three of them: The King of the Alders, The Fox, and The Sparrowhawk. They mean something.

While Alder can be an alternative name for Elder, as in the elder blood, the Aen Elle themselves, an actual Alder is a kind of birch tree common in wet areas and used often in dying leather, charcoal/gunpowder, and for making structures that need to be held in wet areas without rotting. The Alder is also a sacred tree, the tree of Bran the Blessid, and was the inspiration for the Weirwood Trees in GRRM’s A Song of Ice and Fire, the insides of the Alder tree will turn red/brown/dark when it is cut (weirwoods are blood red on the inside).  Forests of Alder are considered “cursed” and to be avoided at all costs, those that go in unprepared or properly blessed will not be seen again (killed by monsters or taken by Fae, the Sidhe, to their realm (hmm, Aen Sidhe.... any one?). Though irl, it is because Alder Forests are in wetland and boggy areas, people just get stuck in the mud and drown.

(Note: another literary example, The Erl King from The Dresden Files. King of the Alders also refers to the character he is based off of: Erlkonig (Elf/Alder King). And in the Dresden series, The Erl King is a powerful wild-fae, the Goblin King (think: The Labyrinth) and King of the Wild Hunt (The Elk-Horned King). It is a also a common fan theory that he is /the/ Oberon, though he is called Lord Herne by name, another horned-crowned hunter of myth as well. As a lord of the wild-fae, he is neutral to winter and summer.   ((Yes, one character can have many identities. This is a word where Odin the All Father is also Santa Clause)).

Remember, Auberon wasn’t some aloof sassy king. He’s jaded and apathetic from being around for over 650 years. But he’s ordered the deaths and enslavement of millions of humans, a genocide, and Avallach and Eredin were right there carrying out these orders. He was polite to Ciri because they needed her, and that eventually went out the window when given an opening to do so.

The Aen Elle’s entire plan was based on re-opening the gates so they can continue this practice. They tricked the Unicorns into doing this once before, but they grew wise and are now at war with the Aen Elle. Lara was the culmination of the Aen Elle’s breeding efforts to create somebody powerful enough to accomplish this. There is a strong possibility she completely disagreed with her people’s ideals, be it that she knew she was being used and/or because she fell in love with a human and changed her ways. But she completely booked it and left them all to rot, while giving them two big middle fingers  (which were later mailed back to Avallach in an envelope...... bad joke).

IMO, Avallach, The Fox, was the more dangerous of the trio (not necessarily the most evil of them). With Eredin he didn’t hide who he was, but Avallach.... he had an agenda a mile long and lied through his non-pointed teeth.  He would present a kind and helpful facade, and when ever something underneath would slip through the cracks, it wasn’t very pleasant.  Foxes are depicted as tricksters, cunning and wily, an animal most frequently associated with being deceitful, or having ulterior motives. When Auberon threaten to give Ciri over to Avallach and his laboratory,  my mind went straight to Vilgafortz and his plans for Ciri... i don’t think this was unintentional.

There is several instances in the novels (The Lady of the Lake especially) where events parallel one another (like Auberon’s abhorrence to Ciri ended up mirroring itself with Emhyr rejecting his plans for Ciri in the end. The theme with Ciri escaping people associated with Birds of Prey (Cahir (his helmet), Tawny Owl, Eriden the Sparrowhawk.... Merlin better watch himself)). Vilgafortz was the obvious villain of the saga, the biggest threat at the time, but did not start out that way, he was first presented as a diplomat, somebody who should be respected and came off as being the reasonable authority figure compared to the decadence of the Sorcerers. Then was revealed to be a sick, twisted SOB doing science experiments on abducted women in order to perfect a technique he was to do on Ciri. Everything he did was in order to accomplish this end goal, to harness Ciri’s powers for himself, even his kind and diplomatic facade at the start and him spending decades gathering political influence in both the North and Nilfgaard under it. The disfigurement of his face was a physical representation of his madness, that the mask was removed and now showed on the outside the ugliness on the inside.

Emhyr’s plan for Ciri started out as Vilgafortz’s plan. Vilgafortz was the one that knew of the prophecy and was the person to find out whom Duny was really. He brought the prophecy to Emyhr and put the idea that the heir of Nilfgaard will be the chosen one.  When this was proposed, Ciri was a toddler at the time (keep in mind that Pevetta was only around 20/21 when she died, and wasn’t 15 yet when she met Emhyr/Duny. In perspective: Ciri was 16 by the end of Lady of the Lake).

Avallach was part of the original breeding plan with Lara, a multi-generational slow-burn magical science experiment. It was more than likely that it was arranged that the two of them become a couple. Avallach is a powerful Sorcerer, member of the Aen Saeherne, sages with specialized training and secretive knowledge about the “Lara Gene”.  When the actual Lara, also an Aen Saevherne, broke up with him and left their people he was very upset about it, something he’s still grudgingly bitter about centuries years later. This is one of the cracks in his facade, when people talk about Lara, and when he did snap at Ciri it was because she compared herself to Lara and in anger suggested that Avallach should be the one to knock her up. He pretty much told her that she disgusted him (maybe even more than Auberon was of her), that her human blood was an insult to their people, that a human took their gift away from them and Lara away from him.

Avallac’h isn’t even his actual name, it’s Creavan Espane aep Caomhan Macha. The root of the nickname also gives us the name to Avalon (the Isle of Apple Trees)... Avalon is were the faeries live, where Morgan La Fae learned her powers, /The/ Lady of the Lake lives there in some stories (she was the one to give Arthur Excalibur, the “sword in the stone” is Uthar Pendragon’s sword), and where King Arthur was taken after he was mortally wounded by Mordred. Geralt and Yennifer were basically taken to Avalon by Ciri and the Unicorn. Then sometime between that and showing up before Galahad, she got into a bloody fight (and won/escaped from that).... (If you believe that Avallach betrayed his people intentionally and ran off.... Ciri taking Yen and Geralt to Avallach for help would be quite the literal interpretation)

Eredin being the Sparrowhawk is one of the more straightforward meanings, its practically hanging a lampshade on what his reason is in the over all story. Like the character himself: to the point and doesn’t hide his motives or pretends to be something he is not. Sparrowhawks get their name because small birds are their most frequent prey. Cirillia’s name came from the Aen Elle word Zireael, a word that means Swallow, a type of small bird. Sparrow and Swallow are very similar words.  Book Eriden calls her Zireael instead of her name to put further emphasis that he sees her as prey.

Wiki Note: Falconers have utilized the Eurasian sparrowhawk since at least the 16th century; although the species has a reputation for being difficult to train, it is also praised for its courage.

Falconry is a practice of keeping birds of prey captive in order to hunt small game for sport or food. They are kept on a leash, hooded, and in cages/aviaries.

Who had Eredin’s leash and used him to hunt prey? Auberon, The Alder King. There was very  little indication that there was a conflict of interests between the two, Auberon even trusted him enough to take the vial from him on his word alone. And, again, Eredin seamed not to have expected it to kill Auberon.

Eredin’s name doesn’t seam to have as much significance as Auberon (Oberon) and Avallac’h (Avalon). Eredin Breacc Glas  (fan nickname: break glass)  he’s literally the first thing that comes up, excluding “witcher” from the searches, you get results from League of Legends, Star Wars, and Final Fantasy :/

A shot in the dark is the Eridanos (river of Hades). AND I only thought of that one because of.... Homestuck’s Eridan Ampora being named after it.  It means “Amber” in Greek. And when i think of “Amber” I first think of Roger Zelazny’s Amber Chronicles. Another series based off of Arthur and Shakespeare Mythos (King Oberon, Avalon, Traveling through Time/Space (Shadow), Blood of the Unicorns, Merlin). Amber was written in the 70′s and 80′s, Zelazny died right around the same time the Witcher short-stories were being published.

Note: Ciri escaped while fighting him on a river, because it was the only path to get out of the loop... if that means anything. :/  (water is a common “ground” for magic, it disperses the energy needed in the spell. it is why Vampires can’t travel across moving water).

The mere presence of Ciri among them, her curse of destiny, ended up breaking open the below-surface cracks in their Triumvirate.   Auberon’s disgust, Avallach’s jealousy, Eriden being the unhelpful helper... Ciri’s insistent want to go home... the Unicorns.... Their plans just crumbled in their hands and resulted in the death of Auberon, Avallach possibly deserting them, and Ciri’s escape from Eredin.

Myu Recommends, Extra Reading Material:

Jim Butcher’s The Dresden Files.... A Wizard for Hire, solving supernatural cases, and later gets tied up in wars with the Vampires, the Fairy Courts, Arch-Demons, and Ancient Horror Terrors. 

Roger Zelanzy’s Amber and Chaos Chronicles. (As Collected in The Great Book of Amber). Corwin of Amber wakes up with amnesia, discovers that his father Oberon, King of Amber, is missing or dead and he is now on the top of his siblings’ hit-lists. Those born of the unicorn and traversed the pattern can freely walk through time and space, The Shadow. (Chaos Courts have an older and more complex version of gaining the same ability, The Labyrinth/Logrus, The Serpent .... most people die before completing it)

King Arthur: Le Morte de Arthur, The Once and Future King, and (maybe) The Mists of Avalon. The Faery Realm, Galahad ascending into Heaven, Merlin being Trapped in a cavern for centuries, The Isle of Avalon.... The basis of many of the modern “alternate dimension” in fantasy stories, including The Witcher, Dresden, and Amber.

[sindrafalcone]

The Mom Ch. 4

Fandom: BIGBANG/ Choi Seung Hyun

Synopsis: Troubling thoughts...

Warnings: Fluff and some angst. Trigger Warning: This chapter touches on the subject of Postpartum Depression. (PPD) Reader discretion is advised!

Author’s Note: Just a touch of angst in this chapter, I swear. But there’s also plenty of the fluffy stuff.  And, there’s a bit of an homage to @mainhoonemily‘s incredible story “After Midnight”. I hope she can forgive me... lol

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Masterlist

“______-ah, that was a delicious breakfast! I  missed your cooking while I was gone.” Seung Hyun sighed as he pushed himself away from the little kitchen table. Sung Ja gurgled happily from her bouncy seat. “Just you wait, dumpling... you're going to love your mom's cooking.”

You rolled your eyes but laughed tiredly. “Dumpling? Really, Seung Hyun?”

For the past two weeks, your husband had been trying to pick a nickname for the twins. Every day he threw out an increasingly absurd list of names, just to try them out. So far, nothing had stuck. He insisted that it had to be 'perfect' because he didn't want to switch it later.  

Seung Hyun shrugged, standing up. “Yeah... it doesn't quite work, does it?”

“Not really, no.” you smirked.

“I'll go up and get Seung Min for you before I get ready.” he said, hugging you from behind. “I'll more-or-less be able to take a month off now, spend some real time with you and the twins.”

“That's good.” you smiled, snuggling back into his embrace.

“I still have a small schedule to keep up with, but at least I'll be home. I've got to go in today though...” he sighed. “Jiyong and I have an interview and then we're working on our upcoming album for a bit.”

He gave you one last squeeze before heading out of the kitchen and upstairs.

"Here we go, monkey boy." Seung Hyun picked his son up out of his crib and smiled at him. "I've got to go in to work, ok? Your mom will be here to watch over you and you sister though, so don't worry." The infant just stared up at him, wriggling his limbs.

"Yeobo, you do realize I can hear everything through the baby monitor, right?" came a static-y version of your voice from somewhere. Seung Hyun startled and Seung Min made a pleased noise at the sound of his other parent's voice. "You are not calling our son monkey boy."

"What the...? Since when did this thing have an  intercom?!" Seung Hyun looked around, totally confused. Sure enough, on the white device sitting on the end table next to the crib, there was a little speaker. A little green light was lit up brightly on it, he presumed that showed when it was in use. "Oh, there it is! Do you always talk to them through this thing?"

"No, I usually just use it to hear when they wake up."

“Hmmmm...” your husband pondered aloud as he carried the baby over to the changing table. “Does it have another receiver? How far is the range? Do you think it would reach all the way over to YG?”

It was extremely amusing to listen to Seung Hyun when he got overprotective of the twins. He'd fervently deny it when confronted, but it was pretty obvious. This new revelation was almost as cute as the time you'd caught him trying to explain the merits of modern expressionist art to them.

"No, it only has one receiver. And, even if it did have two, I doubt it would reach beyond the villa." you said with a laugh.

Seung Min wiggled as his father finished changing him and picked him back up.

"Oh, well... it was a nice thought anyway." he sighed, walking out of the nursery.

The only upsetting thing about Seung Hyun's overprotectiveness was where it stemmed from... his intense desire to be nothing like his father. Where you could occasionally look back at how your dad had been and take some inspiration, Seung Hyun looked at what his father would have done and did the exact opposite for everything. He was determined to be an incredibly hands on parent, much more than you had anticipated him being with his sometimes insane schedule.

He came back down to see you standing at the kitchen sink & washing dishes. He walked up behind you and gave you another hug, wrapping one arm around your waist and planting a kiss onto your neck. You breathed out a sigh as you finished the last dish & turned around to take Seung Min from him.

“Go get ready or you're going to be late.” you chided Seung Hyun playfully as you sat back down to get ready to nurse.

“Yes, dear...” he mono-toned with a wink as he backed out the door. It always amused your husband whenever you attempted to half-heartedly boss him around.

You took your time feeding Seung Min, knowing that his daddy still needed to take a shower before he got dressed and ready for the day. After he was finished and burped, you gathered the twins up and moved into the living room. You spread out a large blanket on the floor in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, scattering some toys on it. Then you laid both babies down so they could have some “tummy time”.

When Seung Hyun came back downstairs, it was to find his children playing on the blanket while you curled up in the De Sede chair to read for a bit. He smiled at the sight before him. Nothing in the world, not even being on stage in front of thousands of fans, made him feel this good. He swooped forward, scooping Seung Min up into his arms in one swift motion.

“Seung Hyun...” you said, voice concerned. “I wouldn't do that...”

You didn't even get to finish your warning before Seung Min promptly spit up, all down the front of Seung Hyun's shirt.

“... if I were you.” you finished futilely, standing up and reaching over to the coffee table to pick up the burp cloth you'd used earlier. Walking over to your husband, you took your son from him before handing over the cloth.

“I really should've known better.” Seung Hyun chuckled. “I know he just ate... but I couldn't help myself. They were just so cute, laying there and playing like that.”

“I know what you mean, yeobo.” you leaned over and gave him a quick peck to the cheek. “But now you have to go change shirts.”

“Shi...” he started to curse, but caught himself and just sighed in frustration instead.

“I'll text Jiyong that you're going to be late.” you told him with a laugh, as you laid Seung Min back down so he could play beside his sister.

After Seung Hyun finally left the villa for work, you had busied yourself with things to do around the villa. You'd done some laundry and decided what you were going to make for dinner. By the time Noon rolled around, you had given the twins their lunch feeding and tucked them in to nap.

Since you had such a busy and productive morning, you decided to reward yourself with some downtime. You stretched out on the big leather sofa and scrolled through your phone. You didn't have any text messages, but hadn't really expected any. But you did have a notification that Seung Hyun had uploaded something to Instagram, which didn't surprise you in the least.

Quickly you opened up the app, anxious to see what he had posted. Maybe it was something teasing his new collaboration with Jiyong? After a few taps to your screen, you were instead greeted with a photo from the magazine shoot. It was the one that you had personally chosen to go on the cover. You smiled at your phone, it really was a great picture, one that you felt perfectly captured what a great dad Seung Hyun was for his children.

You were shocked at the number of comments that had already been left, he had only posted it an hour ago. Your finger hovered over the 'View all comments' link... Seung Hyun had warned you against reading the comments on his SNS. He said that they could sometimes get a little out of control but you had assumed that he just didn't want you getting jealous over all the lovey comments from his female fans. But... this was such a beautiful, wholesome family picture, what sort of bad things could they have to say about that?

Feeling pretty confident about your decision, you tapped the link. But, as your eyes scanned the comment section, your heart only sank further and further. A few of them were nice, saying how happy you looked together as a family. But the majority of the words others had left were horrible:

why did he have to marry a foreigner?!?

UGH... I know she's SO ugly!

The twins would look so much better if both parents were Korean.

He should divorce her and marry me instead... I could raise those kids the PROPER Korean way!

I know my oppa is a great dad, but I bet she's a stupid, cruel mother. Those poor babies!!!

And so it went... on and on. You felt like you should probably stop reading them but, for some odd reason, you couldn't. Somehow, you'd gotten yourself stuck in this endless hell of reading the harsh words your husband's fans had written. You understood that some of it was just jealousy. What you couldn't wrap your brain around was how some of the comments attacked the twins and your parenting.

These people didn't know you. They had no idea what your life with Seung Hyun was really like, so why did they feel the need to say such mindless and hurtful things? You thought back to what you'd told Seung Hyun just before he proposed... that you would be fine as long as you got to keep the real him and his fans kept T.O.P. So, why did they feel entitled to act as if they knew him better than you did?

Suddenly you felt tired, drained. You wanted to escape, to run away from the spotlight that accompanied being married to a celebrity. You missed being able to go out if you felt like it, like when you'd taken Yeon Jun to places while you were his Nanny. Now you were lucky if you could get out of the house to buy groceries without being recognized.

You touched your neck where Seung Hyun had kissed you earlier. Maybe his fans were right... Maybe you just weren't cut out for this sort of life? Maybe he should have married a native? Would the twins be better off with a Korean mother instead of you? Had you being a foreigner doomed them to a life of unfair judgment from others?

Quickly you closed the app and shook your head, as of that could clear it of all the dark thoughts that had taken hold. You thought for a minute about what to do. You knew you couldn't call Seung Hyun, he was busy and you didn't want to make him worry. Your in-laws were currently on vacation, so that was out. Seungri was somewhere in Japan doing something business related. Then you realized exactly who was the perfect person to talk to in this situation.

So, you'd sent a quick text to Daesung... asking him if he could please come over if he wasn't busy. As soon as he'd replied that he would be right over, you went upstairs to get the twins up from their nap.

By the time he arrived you already had the babies fed, changed and happily playing on the blanket again. After a greeting and quick hug, he sat down on the blanket with the twins and started playing with them. But his eyes were entirely focused on you.

“What's up, ________-ah?” he asked, his voice cheerful even though he could tell something was clearly bothering you.

“I, um...” you paced nervously. “I might have done something that I really shouldn't have. I... I started having some scary thoughts. And I just really didn't want to be alone right now.”

Your words had him up off the floor in a flash. He put an arm around your shoulders, leading you over to the sofa so the two of you could sit down.

“Okay... well... I'm glad you called me then.” he told you, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “Do you want to talk about it or...?”

You knew that you'd made the right choice in asking Daesung to come over. He would be happy to be supportive, but he wasn't going to force you to talk. He had helped you so much while Seung Hyun had been gone during his enlistment & your comfortableness around him had you pouring your heart out in no time.

After you'd finished telling him everything that had happened, even showing him the comments that had bothered you the most, he sighed heavily. You had started crying again, and he always hated to see you cry.

“They hate me... and I don't understand why. I haven't done anything to them. Is there something wrong with me?" you sobbed. It was all pouring out a break-neck speed. "I don't understand why it's like this!" you leaned forward and buried your face in your knees. "I take it back. I don't want to share him any more. I don't want him to be anywhere near his fans. But I'm so anxious that he would be unhappy...I can't ask him to choose!  What kind of wife would that make me, Daesung? They're my babies and I'm starting to think they would be better off without me! I'm a horrible parent!"

"Wha...why didn't you say anything to Seung Hyun? ________-ah, the twins are over four months old now! You've felt like this for four months and you didn't tell him?"

"No! No.... it only started today.” you said, lifting your tear streaked face so you could look at him. ”I didn't want to bother him because he's busy in the studio.”

"Okay, then...” Daesung took a deep breath. “That makes things a bit different. You're a good parent, ________-ah. Don't let anyone try and tell you otherwise."

You were crying hard, your whole body shaking. Daesung leaned over and gathered you up into his arms, hugging you tightly to him.

“Listen to me, _________-ah. We're going to get you through this, I promise. I'm pretty sure that what you're feeling is common in new mothers. I think I've heard my therapist talking about it before. I can always give you her number.” he said, rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you.

“I... I think that might be a good idea.” you sniffled.

You talked with Daesung a little while longer before he convinced you to go upstairs and take a shower and a nap.

When you woke up next, it was late afternoon. You jolted up out of bed, panicking & hurried to the nursery only to find it empty. Running downstairs, you saw Seung Hyun sitting in the De Sede chair.

“Where are the twins?” you asked, your voice shaking with fear.

“Daesung took them over to Youngbae's for a bit. He will bring them back before bedtime.” Seung Hyun replied, looking at you. “You needed the sleep, and I wanted some time with my wife.”

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you onto his lap. His warm, chocolate brown eyes looked into yours and you looked away, ashamed of your feelings from earlier in the day.

“What is wrong, gongju-nim? Daesung told me that you'd been having some very troubling thoughts after looking at some fan comments? Please, ______-ah, what’s going on?”

You felt tears well up in your eyes again, and after a few minutes of silence, you whispered. “I’m weak, Seung Hyun…” the tears fell, streaking your face with heat and you began to tremble. “I just... I let them get to me. I know you told me not to look. But I didn't think that the fans would have such mean things to say about such a beautiful picture.”

Seung Hyun's heart stung at those words. Clearly the fan comments had done more to you than he realized. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, feeling your sobs as they wracked your body. He didn’t know what to say. Maybe posting the picture hadn’t been the best choice, he only wanted to show off his little family, but maybe he had gone about it the wrong way. As your body quieted, he tilted your head up and planted a soft kiss on your lips.

“You aren’t weak. You've been through hell... all because of what I do. I thought financially supporting you and the twins was my first priority, but I realize now it wasn’t. I need to support you emotionally first. Forgive me?” he whispered.

You looked up at him, his eyes pleading with you, and felt your heart stir. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. The two of you stayed just like that for a long time, holding on to each other like a lifeline.

“There's nothing that you need forgiveness for.” you breathed quietly. “Seung Hyun... take me to bed. Please? I need...” you left that statement open ended, hanging thickly in the air between you.

“Are you... are you sure?” he asked. “Is it okay?”

You chuckled quietly. “The doctor cleared it as okay when I hit nine weeks postpartum. I think we're good.”

“Well then...” he said with a smile. “As you wish.”

It wasn’t until you were laying in bed afterwards, with your head on your husband’s chest, that he let out a startling shriek of triumph.

“I’ve got it!” he said gleefully.

“Got what?”

“The perfect nickname for the twins!”

You lifted your head an looked down at him expectantly.

“Well?”

“Thing 1 and Thing 2!” he said happily.

You just smiled at him before laying your head back down. “You’re right, Seung Hyun... it is perfect.”

He looked so proud of himself that you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you had secretly been calling the twins that for almost two months now...