#hmm i think i misunderstood the assignment

[wordwizards]

kind of lame that most pregnancy horror movies are just 'woman has antichrist!' over and over again. like at this point there's 50 antichrists

[unclewarwick]

when terfs tell trans men and other trans people that if they (the terfs) were in a younger generation or in slightly different circumstances that they might have transitioned too - why is it that so many people believe that? or why do so many people want to believe them?

the tactic doesn't fool the people it targets, and it is incredibly clear the concept of not identifying with what you were assigned is misunderstood or twisted by them for horrible transphobic and terf recruitment reasons; not any genuine sympathy or shared experience... we do not receive an attempt at understanding from these people. we are not special cases. that's their whole deal with approaching our transness.

they project onto us this assumedly universal concept of being women who were alienated by society or who experienced a terrible trauma, either of which were so bad that we wanted to Become A Man because we "thought it would be better" and that we could escape the supposedly "limited" or "weak" parts of womanhood. in the terf's attempt at manipulation, they explain that we wanted to escape misogyny and hated how women are treated, but were too confused and stupid about our own experiences that we thought the feelings meant we hated being a woman entirely. that sounds like a muddled explanation from a psychologist in a horror movie. so why do other trans people choose to believe this?

terfs do not actually understand what dysphoria is and how it differs from hating how women are treated. and if they do, they play dumb for the sake of their ideology. that's the whole point. dysphoria can't be real according to terf beliefs. they will keep making up ways us trans people are wrong and "delusional" according to them. you can't just pick and choose what parts of their statements you suddenly trust just because you don't want to believe that we experience a unique kind of transphobia from them.

do people seriously hear a terf calling any dysphoria from a trans man or other trans people "just misunderstood misogyny" and think "yeah, this person has absolutely no barely-disguised agenda behind this statement"..?

for the people who hear the "i might have called myself a trans man too, and could have ended up disfiguring my sacred biologically female body if i talked to the wrong people" line and think "wow!! i can't believe these people are really deeply closeted trans men! i can't believe it's so obvious and nobody else sees it!" . . . why do you demean yourself by aligning with them? a terf will say dysphoria is actually a misinterpreted hatred of misogyny, and you are not disagreeing with their sentiment if you say the "misinterpreted hatred of misogyny" is actually repressed dysphoria. you are validating a part of their rhetoric. do you like doing this? do you honestly feel good and okay knowing you would rather align with a terf's logic than listen to fellow trans people about our own unique experiences?

i've seen some specific people have obsessive fixations on terfs like joanne being Actually A Trans Man and wanting to shift the blame on the whole group of trans men for this woman who has used glaringly obvious manipulation tactics as part of her pointless moral panic. and let's just say these people do not react calmly or reasonably when people point out how weird and transphobic this obsession is.

i just want to know, why do some people trust terfs - famous liars - over fellow trans people? why do they so badly want terfs' transphobic lies directed at trans men to be true? they recognise the harm terfs direct at trans women, yet think terfs are suitable people to believe the words of over trans men and other trans people? that seems inconsistent and like their worldview is influenced by biases that erase and ignore the experiences of their fellow trans people. hmm

[bcbdrums]

Ok give me your feelings on SidStein and Sid/Naigus

First, to others waiting for ask answers - I answer out of order, sorry. I gotta go with what I'm in the mood to reply to and/or have time to reply to. So yeah.

Second, I'm DUMB I did not realize this ask was for the Bingo-card thing until you sent the ask a second time. So I'll answer to that second one with the Bingo card because...... I typed up this LOOOOOOONG reply that you see here, and realized right as I was about to drop it into queue that I'd totally misunderstood the ask. But. I wanted to ramble about this, so, the internet gets my opinions regardless.

I have SO many thoughts about Stein and Sid and things I plan to write (some very soon, which are mentioned herein but not in a fic context). Headcanons incoming!

Okay so I don't ship Stein/Sid but they are definitely very good friends. I think it probably started in the academy when Sid joined their class super-young just like Stein did. Younger than the average student, but not quite as young as Stein was. Very talented. I think he'd have caught Stein's attention for his skill at a young age, and also for his no-nonsense way of looking at things. Stein struggles with morality, and Sid is very black and white about everything. He never has those debates with himself, he's just got the answer ready to go. So I think that would have intrigued Stein.

Another thing is, Sid wouldn't have looked at Stein as a freak nor been afraid of him. In Sid's typical manner of taking things at face value, that's how he'd have taken Stein. Another talented meister who happens to enjoy vivisection as a hobby and thus he'd know to watch his back in that regard, but no differently than he watches his back generally. He truly wouldn't treat Stein differently than anyone else. This too would catch Stein's notice.

They'd become friends in a different way than Stein and Spirit are friends. No living together, only seeing each other in class, on assignments, and socially when Stein gets dragged out by Spirit to do things. And Sid would just...treat him like he treats everyone else. So, this and Sid's unique black and white take on everything would intrigue Stein.

He'd soon learn of and rely on Sid's absolute loyalty and trustworthiness in battle. He would possibly gradually make Sid a confidant and/or distraction as the world slowly begins to fall out from under Stein, as he sees a future coming where he may lose his weapon and then ultimately...it happens.

I think Sid stayed by Stein's side after that... After Spirit was gone, and with him, Stein's thready hold on sanity... (Or was Spirit also a hold on madness, hmm~) I think Sid was a rock for Stein in that time, because that's the kind of man Sid is. He's not the type to leave a friend in need. Even if he doesn't know how to help. And I think they'd remain good friends through the following years and Sid would be one of the reasons Stein didn't just...vanish off into the ether after losing Spirit.

I think Sid was a strong grounding force for Stein through those remaining years of Stein's adolescence and young adulthood even though Sid is younger. His unique grasp of morality would have continued to fascinate and confuse Stein, and be something he could use in his own confused rationalizations as he suddenly finds himself forced to navigate life without his weapon, using other weapons, and...then what, after he graduates? Sid would still be there.

So... I think when Sid died, Stein couldn't take it. He couldn't take the loss of another friend. But this time...he just might be able to do something about it. So he did. (I looked it up but couldn't find it anywhere, but some people imply?? That Lord Death ordered Stein to bring Sid back. If that's canon someone please direct me to the reference; maybe it's in SE NOT? I think Stein did it all on his own....)

So anyway....yeah. And I think after bringing Sid back to life, they remained good friends. Plenty of canon evidence (in both canons) to suggest as much. :)

Moving on now... Sid/Naigus. I've less to say here, I don't think about them too much. First off, yes, I like the ship. I think they were a couple while still in the academy together. I also think Naigus is slightly older than Sid. I think she was always there, an extension of Sid even through his friendship with Stein. Another calm and steady presence that perplexed and also helped steady our madman.

I also think Naigus reels Sid in from extremes. Because he's so black and white about everything, there may be areas that warrant some thought spent in the gray area that he is oblivious to, and she offers him that balance. Her thoughtfulness complements his iron will. Likewise, he brings out the best in her. A little knife who never makes death scythe, but is the choice weapon of someone who ultimately becomes a renowned three-star meister, highly-regarded teacher, and one in Lord Death's inner circle? And he chooses her. His fortitude would help her increase her confidence in herself, to be more sure and forthright with her opinions, even if they clash with his; after all, he's never shy of sharing, so why should she be? I think she has a deep empathy, but she's also as no-nonsense as Sid. She'll take the time to read people and a situation that Sid may not, but she won't pander to anyone.

I'm terrible at jokes and puns, but I keep wanting to say something here about... quick stabs of wisdom? They both cut to the chase? Someone more clever than me can say something about this later.

Are they a couple? Oh yes, yes they are. Sid likes women, and Mira likes Sid. I don't really know what else to say on that except they like everything about each other. Looks, personality, attitude, fighting styles... And they respect each other. They don't balk if the other tells them they need to rein something in; they'll listen. They know the other knows them that well. They're meister and weapon, after all. Who knows another's soul better than their partner?

Now, manga!Sid..... And I know you've not read it, so I won't spoil... But we're gonna ignore certain aspects of manga!Sid's personality because I think anyone reading this who has read the manga can agree with me that those aspects of Sid are just the author projecting his own...tendencies...onto the character. That's as far as I'll go with that. Sometimes things are just blatantly...not truly part of the story. So yeah.

THANK YOU again for this ask, I've actually had Stein and Sid on my mind quite a lot in these last few weeks. A fic is being mentally written, haha, and I looooove it.

[sparkbeast20]

This is not a headcanon just some food for thought (you can expand on this if you want).

I think we all know most demons are assigned an animal of some sort... Do you think they have them like pets? For example, Paimon, I like to imagine he has a camel at his place ironically called princess. Or like Bael having either a cat a toad or a spider (or all) that just stay with him.

Okay, so... As a Monster fucker lover. I like doing things like this cause I need a center animal when I think for they're demonic forms.

But since some of the Ars Goetia do have a center Animal. I would just go from there.

Hades

Leviathan - Would be a Sea serpent or Sea monster, so Sea Snake.

Foras - Horse, since I'm going by his status as a knight cause his demon form in Goetia is just some guy.

Glasyalabolas - Dog, and a creepy one if fact XD

Neflheim

Bathin - Since I don't know him too well since he barely have content in game, I'll put him on hold.

Gusion - Is a Monkey or Mandrill.

Andrealphus - Peacock

Avisos

Stolas - Owl

Amon - We do get something in part of Beelzebub's bloodshed that he grow feathers and uses them to rush back to get help when we found Beelzebub hurt in that story, so Safe to assume that he had a bird as his animal.

Naberius - Dog, he is the easier ones XD

Bael - I would say, Spider of the three animal that you suggested. Mostly because it a complimentary with Beelzebub since Beelzebub is the Lord of the files.

Paradise Lost

Marbas - Lion...

Morax - Bull

Buer - It would be easy to say Fox with the whole fox eyes his having, I could see it or Just a another canine in general.

Tartaros

Eligos - Snake (This was a suggestion of a friend)

Valefor - Lion (Basing on the Goetia look)

Bimet - (Since they just change Bune to Bimet, I'm basing on Bune's description) Which is Dragon or if we're sticking with real animals, Lizard more so a Monitor Lizard.

Abaddon

Phenix - Phoenix or a Lyrebird.

Dantalian - Hmm... I'll put him at a hold too.

Ronove - Hyena, more so I think that these animal are misunderstood and that people think that they're bad (Mostly because of how the Lion King depict them) and that they're Scavengers But they are actually Beautiful animals and I can see Ronove having this as his Animal (Yes, I know his a cat dad, but I don't see him being a cat or big cat)

Gehenna

Sitri - Leopard

Paimon - Camel

Astaroth - Snake, more so a Venomous one

Leraye and Zagan - I have no clue aside dog, but that's even just me basing on how the fandom describe them (Puppy/Dog energy lol)

Belial - He'll also me put on hold cause I really don't have a animal in mind for him.

Note: I'm happy to hear you guys thoughts in this.

[lokisprettygirl]

Wait I think I misunderstood the assignment of honestly hour reeeeeeeeeeee

You tell me something awkward instead 😂

No I think it's supposed to be both ways so you understood it clearly or maybe I'm misunderstanding it too 🤣

Okay something awkward..hmm

People in my circle have found out that I love loki and somehow they keep taking Tom's name to tease me and it doesn't even bother me, I end up asking them which Tom you're talking about because there's definitely hell lot of Toms in the industry 😂

[aeoki]

SS Finals - Melee: Chapter 7

Location: Outside ES Dome Characters: Nagisa & Ibara

Nagisa: …Hehe. You’re really conscious of Anzu-san, Ibara. I think it’s good to have a rival you can respect.

…I hope the “White Team and the “Red Team” can also have a friendly rivalry.

Ibara: It’ll probably be difficult… Eight or nine cases out of ten, we’ll most likely have internal conflicts on our side.

The stable “Red Team” will also most likely take the victory right under our noses while that’s happening.

The “Red Team” must have it nice… I bet they must be having a delightful meal together and deepening their friendship right now…

Nagisa: …I wonder about that. Eichi-kun is over there. He’s good at agitating the masses, but in a bad sense, he’s also a genius at stirring up trouble within his own circle.

Ibara: Surely His Eminence won’t do something as foolish as that during such an important event…

Ugh, our leadership skills will most likely be questioned if we lose.

Nagisa: …That would be a pressing issue. How can we get the entire “White Team” to follow our orders?

…I’d say the “gatekeeper” did a good job in that aspect despite breaking the rules as a result.

Ibara: Hmph. My granduncle would be completely unfazed even if he’s hated by idols.

But that’s different for us! We have to get along with the other ES idols in the future too!

We’ll be ostracised if we threaten them and make them surrender to us!

If the public discovers we did that, then it’ll most definitely be impossible for us to continue working as idols in the future!

Nagisa: …Yeah. Our positions are different from his.

…Even if someone questions the “gatekeeper” for a misdeed, then he can just send a substitute to the authorities.

Ibara: That’s what it means to be the mafia or yakuza. It seems everyone has misunderstood, but they’re not called the mafia because they do bad things.

They have the order the wrong way round. The mafia is the mafia because they ignore the law and do whatever they wish.

They have numerous convenient “substitutes” in the underworld who can receive the punishment for them in their stead.

Ordinary people who do exactly as they’re told when they’re cornered or foolish youth who give up their lives for some small change…

They’ll have plenty of those sorts of people to stand in for their arrest.

Even if they actually committed the crime, they’ll just present those people as the “criminal” to the authorities.

Those “substitutes” would be bound hand and foot by debt, threats, the law or obligations, and have their own thoughts taken away from them – they’re just consumables.

So even if those organisations or higher-ups are “arrested”, they won’t suffer any damage.

Those people will be cut off like a lizard tail while the bad guys continue to commit crimes with untainted records.

Nagisa: …I see. I’m not particularly interested in those sorts of topics, so thank you for explaining it in an easy to understand way, Ibara.

…I feel refreshed now that those hazy areas are now cleared.

…I had always wondered why there are people who continue to commit crimes.

…But they do it because they can ignore the law and do whatever they want.

…They’ll capture people they’ve threatened with money they gained through “crafty” means or violence to turn them into “substitutes”.

…The more “substitutes” the mafia has, the more chances they have to ignore the law and continue to commit crimes.

…So that’s the mafia. It’s an “evil circuit” they’re operating.

…How truly intriguing.

Ibara: …What’s intriguing is the fact that both teams have been assigned a “Support Idol”.

I wonder what these “Support Idols” are. Do you know anything?

There was definitely an alias listed on our team lineup sheet…

Nagisa: …Hmm. It seems the “Support Idol” for the “Red Team” is apparently the so-called super idol that’s still active, Seiya Hidaka-sensei.

Ibara: Well, well! I bet his son, Hokuto Hidaka, would be beside himself with sadness and anger upon hearing that! Ahaha ☆

Nagisa: …Seiya Hidaka-sensei is a powerful enemy we cannot ignore. He’ll certainly be a trump card capable of winning against any unit despite being solo.

Ibara: He’s a living legend, after all. But we can choose to use or not use our “Support Idol”...

It seems they’re more to be used as stand-ins if an idol is sick or cannot perform on the off chance. Whether or not Mr Seiya Hidaka will be making an appearance in the Finals will depend on how things unfold.

Nagisa: …Everyone must be making sure they’re in peak condition for this big event. I don’t think it would be possible for anyone to fall sick during these times.

…Not knowing what will happen is what an idol performance is all about, after all.

Ibara: Uh, it would be trouble if people didn’t, you know!

The public generally hopes for impossible miracles, but the best performances are those that are thoroughly planned from beginning to end!

Nagisa: …If that’s the case, then I think it would be best for machines to perform instead of humans.

Ibara: Hmm, but is our “Support Idol” really someone alive?

If they’re trying to balance out the teams…

Then our “Support Idol” should be someone of equal strength to Mr Seiya Hidaka.

Was there someone like that amongst the current active idols? It’s probably common sense at this point, but the strongest idol in my eyes is none other than Mr Seiya Hidaka.

I wouldn’t even mind if “SS” ends with him being announced as the “top idol”, quite frankly.

Nagisa: …I’m sure the organisers at ES will not have that.

If “SS” wasn’t the largest festival in the idol industry with a big amount of money involved, there would be numerous people who would lament over not making any profit.

…Or perhaps someone is trying to sacrifice Seiya Hidaka-sensei to awaken some sort of gigantic monster.

Ibara: You mean…

Nagisa: …I’ve said too much. My lips are sealed. You’ve gotten better at asking leading questions, Ibara.

Ibara: What do you mean your lips are sealed?

Nagisa: …By the way, what’s the name of our “Support Idol” that’s supposedly of equal strength to Seiya Hidaka-sensei?

Ibara: I’ve said this time and time again, but make sure you read every single word of the documents and scripts given to you. You’ve started only reading the things that you’re interested in, huh.

Nagisa: …Stop with the complaints and answer my question.

Ibara: Alright, alright. Er, it feels like an incredibly embarrassing alias to say aloud but…

The “Support Idol” of the “White Team” is apparently called “Lucifer”.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[smcphersonarts102-02]

Reflection #1

For this project I started with different six word memoirs and typed them into Dall-E 2 to see what images would pop up. I misunderstood the assignment and thought our image had to have our exact six word memoir. The first memoir I came up with, I was not pleased with the results I got, so I moved onto my next one. I liked those results better so I stuck with those.

Seen above (1) is the first memoir I came up with and the results I recieved. As you can tell they are very busy and I felt like I could hardly do anything with them. The other (2) is not busy and had great composition to work with.

We also did critiques this week, and I was able to receive some helpful information from my peers and instructor on how to improve my project. One thing I noticed that I did completely wrong was the upload. I need to reupload my work as one artboard, so I need to convert my two pieces into one file.

One thing I wanted to mention about the reading is the interview from Michael Bierut. When asked what his greatest strength was, he said he was a good listener, and that he was excited to listen to others give possible solutions to his problems (Michael Bierut, 20). Later, on the next page, he describes his best client, as someone who "is smart enough to know what he or she thinks about my work, and brave enough to tell me. My least favorite reaction is something noncommittal like 'Hmm . . .you’ve given us all a lot to think about!'" (Bierut, 21). I like Bierut's positive outlook on feedback. It just reminded me of what we did in class today, and how even though we were being told to change our work in various ways it was a very positive interaction. I feel like I not only gained insight on what I should do differently on my project, but also how positive critiques can help with improvement.

[a-very-tired-raven]

Could you assign some of your mutuals to some masked roles? Like plague doctor, medieval beekeeper, fencer, astronaut, hazmat, deep sea diver/scuba diver, plague nurse

You included!

Hmm..

@und3rwat3r-a5tr0naut as an astronaut..I guess lmao?? Oh! Or maybe a magic baker or smt

@a-gentleman-thoughts mad magician or smt

@let-love-run-red hrrmm...maybe a plague doctor nurse? Your really nice boo so like...maybe like a fae baker or something.

@puppetcl0wn clown, magical dancer, or mad scientist

@shimmer-lamp medieval fire fly keeper

@icelingbolt hrm..a...a knight maybe?

@kiokooo /@kiokodoodles : I don't know what its called but like..I feel like you'd be in charge of a magical aquarium or smt. Or a bee keeper

@jaychirps THEATER BIRD LORD

@treesaap fencer

@dont-hug-me-im-a-fander like a magic bartender/cook from medieval times.

@rainbowut butterfly tamer. Or a smoll little baker

@mochamashi mythical creatures tamer or something idk man I think I've misunderstood the assignment

And I love plague doctors so probably a plague doctor

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Thinking random thoughts sparked by “ode to joy” being used twice in the weewoo show. Once in 406 and again in 514. Something about “we all miss the signs” and “stop” signs ie red flags being removed from their proper places and idiots driving too fast over speed bumps and then a huge stop sign almost killing the “ode to joy” cyclist that begs travelers to slow down and “share the road” together. Roads and paths and navigation and speed have been huge themes throughout s5.

And something about the universe screaming in Jinx and “ode to joy” being used in jinx in a scene where a dude was reckless with fireworks and burned his house down. Same ep where eddie started dating ana and “misunderstood the assignment” to get unstuck. And same ep where the “stuck on you” guy taped to the billboard sign was primarily tended to by buck while eddie was off charming ana who got hurt when traffic halted due to the dude taped to the sign. Foreshadowing repressed king eddie being stuck on buck but distracting himself with ana and triggering problems for himself and for ana plus “waterloo sunset” playing during their Jinxed date.

Hmm and also ugh. I think there are interconnected signs and symbols here but I dunno, I’m probably just reaching. I’ll revisit this mess of thoughts later when I have more time because this pointed callback in 514 to 406 via “ode to joy” is bugging me. That symphony has some interesting lyrics in a (firefam and) buddie context!

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: you have a crush on college student renjun so you make use of your best lamest flirting attempts and surprisingly they work?!

pairing: renjun x gn!reader

genre: college!au, romance, pure fluff

warnings: very lame jokes, mentions of a cruel prank in the past (someone asking out renjun as a joke, pls never do that to people!), lots of awkwardness & sweetness, a bit of swearing, reader has an obsession with renjun’s pretty hands

word count: 4.7k

It had been a while since you had a crush so strong you even had a hard time focusing in class. Usually, you were a very good student, diligently taking notes and participating when the professor asked questions. But that was until you saw Renjun for the first time. 

It was like something possessed you and suddenly you couldn't think about anything else but his pretty, gentle face, his angelic voice and his lovely hands always drawing something in his notebook. It certainly didn't help much that you were seated right next to him during your shared lectures. It most certainly didn't help that you forgot all your vocabulary when you were in his immediate vicinity. Usually, your teachers and friends described you as well-spoken and eloquent, always knowing the right thing to say. 

But that was, of course, until Renjun. All words disappeared from your poor brain whenever he was around. And it's not like you didn't want to talk to him, get to know him better. But you physically couldn't bring yourself to form a coherent sentence. You kept telling yourself it was just a silly crush and it would pass in time. But the more time passed, the stronger you felt the need to do something about your feelings. Naturally, you couldn't speak, but there was still something you could do. Something you probably did best. Write.

So one day, after what felt like an eternity of yearning, you finally gathered the courage to act on your emotions. Taking a small sheet of paper out of your notebook, you wrote a little something. It was probably super lame but apparently, even your writing skills were affected by your crush on him. As soon as your "masterpiece" was done, you slid it towards Renjun before you could chicken out and change your mind about this whole thing. The note had the following text:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your drawings are almost As pretty as you. P.S. Key word: almost ;)

The second he spotted the little note which was folded in a hurry, he opened it curiously. Once he read its insides, you could hear him snort under his breath. Was it that bad? You couldn't help but worry. Then, he took his own pen and started writing something under it. That was a good sign, right? You were feeling hopeful. Once he was done, he slid the paper towards you. You opened it in a rush. His response was:

Hey! Are you bullying my art?!?

You looked at him in confusion. How could he have possibly misunderstood? However, he was too focused on multitasking (drawing most of the time and occasionally taking notes based on the lecture) to spot your reaction. You decided you had no choice but to be as explicit as possible and wrote another note:

Nooo, I meant to compliment both you and your art, sorry if it came off wrong and lame :(

When he received it, you could swear you saw him smiling a little, which made your heart melt. How was he so beautiful? Soon enough, his reply came:

That's alright, I'm just teasing...Also, it worked.

You couldn't believe it. It worked? You'd successfully grabbed his attention by using this first-grade flirting method in college? You were suddenly feeling brave and kept writing. It was too late to turn back time.

I just think you're really pretty and cool especially when you draw but I was too hesitant to talk to you directly...

When he read your most recent note, he even gave you a look of disbelief, which you couldn't interpret until you saw his response:

Cool? Wow, that's a first...And it's ok, I don't bite.

You chuckled quietly and suddenly noticed that class was ending soon. You couldn't wait until tomorrow so you hurriedly wrote the content of your next note:

What do I have to do to get your number?

Renjun shook his head in amusement and this time, his reply came quicker than before:

*number enclosed* Here, that wasn't so hard, was it?

You could hear the lecturer saying his words of conclusion and you hurried to respond via another note, because you couldn't trust your voice to actually speak to Renjun. Not yet, at least. So, you wrote:

Thank you!!! Here is mine: *number enclosed*

And just as he received your final note, the students around you started gathering their things. You simply looked at Renjun and you still couldn't believe he'd actually replied to your silly flirting and even gave you his number! You waved him goodbye like a lovesick fool and practically ran outside of the lecture hall. Stage fright whomst? Try having a crush on the prettiest boy in the world.

After you went back home, you debated calling Renjun. Eventually, you talked yourself out of it. What if you said something stupid and embarrassing? With texting, you could at least have more time to think things through before sending them. Actually speaking to him seemed too terrifying a task to accomplish. So, you texted him excitedly and your heart did a back-flip when he replied. Was it strange that you already missed him, even though it had only been a couple of hours since you last saw him? Naturally, you couldn't tell him that, it would probably freak him out. So, you settled for texting (for the time being).

Renjun: Why did you run away after class?

You: I was too nervous to speak to you, I'm sorry!!!

Renjun: That's strange, I see you talking to your friends all the time...Am I so scary?!?

You: Nooo, you're not scary, I'm just being an idiot 😔

Renjun: Top of the class does not equal idiot but I'll let it slide this time

You: Thank you for your generosity!

Renjun: What are you up to?

You: Probably gonna work on that assignment for next week

You: Sorry, I'm so boring 😔

Renjun: First of all, you don't have to apologize so much, you did nothing wrong

Renjun: Second of all, saaame. We can brainstorm together if you want?

You: Sorry, I'll stop. Oops, I did it again. Pretend you didn't see it.

You: Also omg, yes pls, that would be great!

And that is how your friendship with Renjun started. Texting on your phones and exchanging notes during class lasted a week until you finally decided to ask him out. Again, via text, because you were feeling too shy to speak to him. The only other contact you'd had was waving at each other. And it's not like he spoke to you, either. There were two explanations for that: 1) he chose to respect your decision or 2) he was possibly just as shy as you were. Whatever the reason, you thought this could not go on forever so you managed to find the bravery to propose a date.

You: Do you wanna go out with me? 👉🥺👈 

Renjun: Sure, where do you wanna go?

You: Oh, wow, I didn't think I'd get this far lol

You: Where do YOU wanna go?

Renjun: Hmm, there's this new art gallery I've been meaning to visit...if that's okay with you

You: Anything is good with me as long as I get to see your pretty face

Renjun: What

You: I said you're pretty

Renjun: Shut up, oh my God...

You: Do you want me to stop?

Renjun: Say that again

You: You're pretty

Renjun: 😳😳😳

Renjun: I can't wait to see you again

You: Same here

Once you got to the front of the art gallery, it struck you how strange it was that you would speak to Renjun for the first time ever. You mentally braced yourself as you awaited his arrival anxiously. Your nails were digging into the inside of your hands and you were terrified you'd pierce holes through your own skin. You told yourself this was silly, you had no reason to be so nervous. Renjun was a total sweetheart and he obviously liked talking...well, writing to you. You needn't worry that much, you kept repeating in your mind. You were too busy hyping yourself up to notice him approaching behind you. Too busy to be prepared for what came next.

"Hiii," Renjun greeted you with a surprise back hug.

"Oh dear," you jumped in shock as you turned around.

"Did I scare you, angel?"

Shit. Already with the pet names? How were you supposed to survive?

"No, it's fine," you waved him off, trying to play it cool. "Isn't it weird this is the first time we're actually speaking to each other?"

"Um...kinda," Renjun scratched the back of his head. "But I like it, it's what makes this so special."

"Wow, you sure do have a way with words," you chuckled.

"Shall we go inside?" he suggested.

"Yes, please."

As you looked around the art gallery, you kept pointing excitedly at the paintings, while Renjun was quietly evaluating them and telling you interesting stories about the artists. You couldn't help but be amazed by how attractive he was as he exhibited his knowledge. And of course, you couldn't help but wonder at how he was so much more beautiful than all the art you've ever seen. Naturally, you wouldn't tell him that. First of all, because it was too lame to speak aloud. Second of all, because your voice would undoubtedly betray you and crack or something even more embarrassing. As time passed, you were surprised at how easy it was to talk to him, despite your previous concerns. Renjun was very polite and soft-mannered and he made you feel comfortable, while the two of you looked at the paintings and discussed them. Once you'd seen everything, you were starting to feel a bit bummed out that your lovely date was coming to an end. When you were outside the art gallery, you impulsively asked:

"Can I walk you home?"

"I mean...sure. On one condition."

"Anything."

"I get to walk you home next time."

"There'll be a next time?" you whispered hopefully.

"I hope I don't sound presumptuous if I share my observation we both had a wonderful time."

"That's perfectly alright. Your observation is correct," you admitted.

"I live just around the corner, though. You really don't have to-"

"But I want to."

"So do I," Renjun said and the two of you began walking towards his home.

"I was wondering about something...You already know I didn't speak to you because I was feeling shy, but why didn't you? I have two theories, but I'm curious which one is more on point."

"Do tell and I'll try my best to enlighten you," he joked.

"Okay, so theory number one is you were being respectful of my wish not to talk yet. Theory number two is that you're just as shy as I am."

Renjun laughed and you could swear this was the sweetest sound in the entire universe.

"Am I so transparent? Honestly, it's a little bit of both. But there's another part you didn't guess. But it's too embarrassing."

"Come on, tell meee! It can't be more embarrassing than my lame attempts to flirt with you."

Renjun smiled gently.

"Well, to be honest, I couldn't believe you thought I was cool and pretty...I even feared this was some sort of prank. It wouldn't be the first time someone decided to mess with me like that."

"Renjun, are you serious? I don't understand why anyone would...Scratch that, whoever messed with you didn't deserve even a fraction of your attention. I meant every word I said. I really like you...and your paintings. And I'm sorry I couldn't say it aloud earlier. You genuinely deserve to hear nice things more."

"Thank you. I appreciate it," he blinked cutely. "But enough about me. I never told you...how beautiful you are. How kind and smart."

"I know," you waved him off teasingly. "But coming from you, this means a lot."

Renjun shook his head, amused by your words.

"We should go somewhere you like next time. Maybe a bookshop?" he suggested.

"Am I so transparent?" you repeated his words. "But sure, yeah. That sounds nice."

"Well, this is me," he said, pointing towards his home.

"Already? Aw, time sure flies by when you're having fun."

"I'll see you tomorrow in class, right?"

"Of course," you promised and before you could talk yourself out of it, gave him a quick but heartfelt hug. "Bye, Renjun."

"Bye, angel."

After your first date with Renjun, things were going quite smoothly. You finally got over your nervousness when it came to talking to him and the two of you would occasionally whisper things to each other during class. The first time he held your hand under the desk your cheeks filled with colour. Despite your embarrassment, you held his hand right back and granted him with a grateful smile. After that, holding hands in class (whenever you weren't busy taking notes) became like second nature to you two. It just felt so sweet and comfortable to be close to him. You couldn't wait till the next weekend for your second date. Even though you were just going to a bookshop and had nothing that special planned out, you enjoyed being around him so much that you were more than excited for spending time with him one-on-one. No professors or other students to distract you.

When the day finally arrived, you were surprised to find out your anxious self had made a comeback. Even though you were around him everyday and had grown accustomed to holding a conversation, it had been an entire week since your first date when it was just the two of you and you couldn't help but get cold feet as you were waiting in front of the bookshop. This time Renjun didn't surprise you from behind, you could see him approaching from a distance. Mentally bracing yourself for his inevitable arrival, you knew you'd be an awkward mess no matter how hard you tried.

"Hey, angel," he greeted you with the usual hug.

"It's nice to see you again, Renjun," you replied dumbly, briefly melting into his arms.

"You saw me yesterday, remember?" he teased you.

"Um, yeah, but still," you chuckled.

"Is everything okay? You don't seem like yourself," Renjun immediately noticed the change in your behaviour.

"Why wouldn't it be? Everything's peachy," you lied, but he didn't seem to believe you.

"Be honest with me, please," Renjun asked. You suddenly remembered what he'd confided in you during your first date. It was no wonder he had a hard time trusting you after someone in his past had had the nerve to pull such a cruel prank on a soul as sweet as his. You felt guilty for lying rightaway and began explaining yourself.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous. I don't want to fuck anything up. Like I just did by lying and swearing. Fuck. I did it again, didn't I? I'll shut up now," you were rambling anxiously.

"Relax, Y/N, I totally get it. I was just worried maybe you didn't want to be here...with me."

"What? Nonsense. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. No one else I'd rather be with."

"Well, the feeling's mutual so there's no need for concern. Let's look at those books, yeah?"

"Yeah, sounds good, Renjun."

As the two of you went inside and started exploring the hundreds of shelves together, you felt yourself relaxing a little. Being surrounded by so many familiar titles, so many gorgeous covers was comforting. And as you kept showing Renjun some of your favourite books and telling him about your most beloved characters, he realized you were back to your usual self in no time. Attentively listening and occasionally sharing his opinions on certain authors, you didn't notice how quickly time passed by and how much you had enjoyed yourself and each other's company. Once you had looked through the bookshop in its entirety, you felt like it was too early to put an end to your date, but you didn't want to come off as too clingy or something. So, you simply looked at Renjun, expecting him to say what he wanted to do next.

"I promised you I'll walk you home this time, didn't I?" he smoothly said.

"I believe you did," you giggled. It was so sweet of him to remember such a detail.

"I'm a man of my word so lead the way," Renjun replied, offering you his arm.

"It will be my pleasure," you eagerly took his arm and the two of you began walking. You were deliberately moving at a slow place, simply because you didn't want this to end and felt like prolonging the time around him.

"Your hands are so pretty," you blurted out at one point.

"You like my hands, huh?" Renjun smirked.

"Did I say that out loud?" you were undoubtedly blushing really hard.

"I'm afraid so."

You felt completely mortified as you covered your face with your own hands.

"Hey, hey, it's fine. You can tell me anything. Chances are I'll take it as a compliment."

"Really?" you sneaked a peak. "You don't think I'm weird?"

"Maybe a little bit, but it's one of the things I like about you."

"One?" you blinked curiously.

"You're really fun to be around and you've been nothing but sweet to me. And of course, you're stunning, but that goes without saying."

"Without saying? I don't mind hearing it, though."

"I'll have that in mind," Renjun smiled gently.

"Renjun?"

"Yes?"

"Can you hold my hand?" you almost begged.

"I don't know, can I?" he tormented you with a joke.

"Will you hold my hand?" you corrected yourself.

"All you had to do was ask," Renjun acquiesced and intertwined your fingers.

Walking hand in hand, you eventually reached your place. As you two stared at one another, you refusing to go inside, him refusing to go, both of you refusing to let go of the other's hand, you thought to yourself how badly you wanted to kiss him. You had no idea if it was too early for that but you knew that the longer you tried to postpone it, the more you'd crave him. And you were an impatient person. So you quickly kissed him without thinking much. It was a bit awkward and rushed but at least, you had finally done as you wanted. Renjun looked taken aback and blinked at you a couple of times.

"I'm sorry," you apologized again. "I just..."

He silenced you softly with another kiss, this time more slowly and putting your mind and heart at ease. You lost yourself in the feeling of his plush lips against yours, finally letting go of his hand so that you could wrap yours around his neck. Hesitant at first but growing bolder by the second, you could sense Renjun's tongue testing the waters. You slightly parted your lips, letting him in. As the kiss intensified, you could feel him becoming more eager to touch you, his arms wrapped around your lower back. When you were seconds away from losing your breath, you finally broke the kiss. Opening your eyes to look at him, you couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. He'd kissed you back.

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing so much. Especially, when you haven't done anything wrong," Renjun scolded you politely.

You opened your mouth to argue, but when you realized your immediate response would have been another 'I'm sorry', you closed it. A second later, you came up with a different reply.

"I guess you'll have to discipline me, then," you huffed in a challenge.

"Dumbass," Renjun flicked your forehead.

"Hey!" you complained with a pout. "That hurts."

"What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?" Renjun gave an unamused look.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea," you mumbled, not expecting him to actually...kiss your forehead. But he did. And damn your knees for threatening to give out.

"Feel better yet?"

You nodded enthusiastically.

"Get inside already," Renjun tickled your sides, nudging you in the direction of your door.

"You want to get rid of me so badly?"

"No, but we can stand here forever if you don't," he rolled his eyes.

"Do you want me to invite you in?"

"Don't tempt me and go," he was impossible to sway.

"Okay, okay," you relented. "See you tomorrow, Renjun!"

For your third date Renjun suggested something different. While your first and second date had all taken place in public locations, this time he offered going to his place. And maybe the shock on your face was too obvious, because Renjun was quick to keep talking and almost take it back.

"We don't have to if you don't want to! We can just watch something at the cinema or whatever. Forget I mentioned it if you're uncomfortable."

You quickly shook your head.

"No, no, I do want to come over! I was just...not expecting it."

"Yeah? You sure?"

"A hundred per cent," you nodded excitedly.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I'm at two hundred per cent," Renjun teased.

"It's not a competition," you reminded him.

"It's not if I'm winning," he kept playing around.

You rolled your eyes.

"So what are we watching?" you asked.

"You can't go wrong with Harry Potter, am I right?"

"You are so right," you squealed. "Which house are you in?"

"Don't get me started. Sometimes I get Ravenclaw, sometimes Slytherin, it's a mess."

"That's pretty cool, though," you were practically staring at him with heart eyes at this point.

"You're a Hufflepuff, aren't you?"

"Am I so transparent?" you complained, this line becoming something of a running gag between the two of you.

"Cute," he mumbled under his breath and you blushed, not managing to maintain eye contact.

When the time arrived for you to go to Renjun's place, you were more excited rather than nervous. He was so easy to talk to and you were genuinely making so many wonderful memories that you had made it your mission to not waste any second worrying needlessly.

"I have arrived," you announced the obvious as you stood at his door.

"I can see that," Renjun chuckled. "Come on in."

"I wasn't sure if I should bring something so I bought some pizza on the way. It's still hot, so I hope you're hungry," you said as you followed him inside like a puppy.

"Oh, that's very thoughtful. And I always have enough space left for pizza."

You grinned and the minute you put the box on the table and your arms were free, you wrapped them around Renjun in a hug.

"You're so warm," you murmured against his skin.

He kissed the top of your head swiftly. Soon after, the two of you were too busy re-watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, eating pizza and holding hands to talk much. Once the movie was over, you realized how badly you didn't want to go home and how cozy leaning your head on Renjun's shoulder felt. And how much you liked him and couldn't stop thinking about his hands, his smile and his overall existence.

"Do you want to go home already?" Renjun asked the dreaded question.

"I mean, not really, but I don't wanna impose myself on you," you whispered.

"Don't be so formal," Renjun replied. "Just stay a little longer."

"Yayyy!" you were quite overjoyed and kissed his cheek. "What do you want to do?"

"Hm, I don't know. I could give you a tour around the place."

"Sure, that sounds fun," you immediately agreed.

"Don't get your hopes up, it's just a regular college guy's apartment."

"I'm sure I'll be amazed by every little detail."

"Even my socks?"

"Especially your socks," you joked.

As he showed you around his apartment, you couldn't help but be amazed by how Renjun-like everything was. From the snug kitchen to his art supplies scattered around. Every corner made the atmosphere feel extremely homey. Until you saw something that you hadn't expected, something that hadn't come up in conversation before. A stunning grand piano. You looked at the instrument and then at Renjun and finally, back at the piano.

"Do you play?"

"No, I just keep things like that as an accessory," he responded sarcastically. "Of course, I play."

"Can you...no, wait," you stopped yourself before making a similar mistake to the one you made a while ago. "Will you play something for me?"

"Right now?"

"If it's not too much trouble," you gave him the very best pleading look you were capable of.

Renjun sighed reluctantly and sat down on the bench in front of the piano.

"Don't just stand there awkwardly, sit next to me," he urged you courteously. 

You followed his advice and took the free spot. However, nothing could have possibly prepared you for witnessing Renjun's skills up-close. Watching him play was like magic. You were simply in awe and couldn't help but stare at his pretty fingers hitting the keys in just the right ways. When he was finished performing the piece, you were too frozen to do anything. Couldn't even manage to clap, even though he deserved it so much. But you were too transfixed by his playing and those damn hands of his you couldn't possibly move.

"Earth to Y/N?" Renjun went as far as snapping his fingers right in front of your face.

"Huh?" you let out.

"Did I enchant you or what?"

"I think you did," you chuckled. "Just...wow. You're insanely good."

He looked away bashfully.

"Thanks. It just takes practice."

"Nah, I've heard people play before but what you have is different. So pure and genuine. Like a blessing. And I'm not just saying that because I think I'm falling in love with you. I really mean every word."

"Care to repeat that?"

"I really mean..." you started, still not registering what exactly you'd said. How far you'd gone. What you couldn't take back.

"Before that," Renjun reminded you gently. "You know. The part about falling in love with me."

"Shit. I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I?" you asked dumbly. "It's too early for that, I know. I'm really sorry. Let's just pretend I said nothing and forget about it, yeah?"

In your panic, you jumped up from the bench and were about to escape like a coward but Renjun grabbed your hand before you could take another step.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, too," he said.

"W-what?" you stammered.

"And I don't care about whether it's too early or not. And I'm not going to pretend I didn't hear it. So the question is...what are you going to do about that?"

"Me? What...am I supposed to do?"

"What you want to do," Renjun clarified.

"Um...I want to keep falling in love with you, Renjun. And holding your pretty hands. Spending time with you. Listening to your angelic voice. What I want...is for you to be my boyfriend."

"I thought I already was."

"You were?"

"We went on a couple of dates...we kissed...Haven't I made it obvious enough?"

"Oh, right," you chuckled. "Sorry."

"Say that word one more time, I dare you," Renjun slowly ran a finger down your lips.

"S-sorry?" you had to test his patience. Before you could argue, he kissed you fiercely, wrapping his palms around your cheeks. You were drowning beneath his touch, which was ridiculous, considering he was also setting your lips on fire. You figured if saying sorry too much was going to end up like this, you would be a fool not to take advantage of it.

"Pretty angel," Renjun whispered against your mouth. "My pretty angel."

You were practically melting and the only thing holding you together were Renjun's arms.

"For fear of sounding lame, I'm inclined to say your pretty angel's almost as pretty as you. Key word: almost," you giggled, recalling your earliest attempts at flirting with him.

"Lies," Renjun shook his head.

"Hey, it worked the first time!" you pouted.

"It only worked because you're the pretty one," Renjun ruffled your hair playfully.

"Oh my God, shut up," you covered your face to hide how red it was.

"Never."

The End

[peaktotheocean]

post-production

Pairing: Jaskier/Geralt ao3 link here Notes: If you ever watched the Lord of the Rings behind-the-scene discs and thought “I wish there was a 12K Witcher AU where Jaskier is the famous actor who buys a horse for Geralt the horse trainer” then you’re in luck

Jaskier knew that he would miss the stable the most. After weeks of filming on location, surrounded by crew and actors that Valdo had already poisoned against him, the stable had become a respite of sorts.

No matter the smells (the many, many smells), Jaskier would always remember the sun beams shining through the high windows and illuminating the dust and dirt to shine on the horses. Jaskier had tried and failed many times to capture the moment on his phone— to the point where he was convinced that it was impossible. He would just have to burn the sight into his memory.

Jaskier had just one more day in this stable and on set and then he could sort of what he wanted to do with the rest of his life.

Certainly not acting.

Five blockbusters in four years and Jaskier's exhaustion knew no bounds. Not to mention people he thought were his friends just clinging to him for a ride.

He had meant for his career to be music and yet here he was on what he considered the wrong marquees.

Taking a small acting job offered by a friend in order to help pay rent had escalated into a full career and never worrying about rent again.

But then there was Valdo.

Jaskier had only started hearing about the rumors during the second week of the shoot. And by, then it had been too late. Valdo's charisma and charm took hold and Jaskier wasn't to be trusted. Was he a thief? A gossip? A drunk? A backstabber? It depended on which rumor went around that morning.

"Last day, darling."

"What?" The horsemaster's gruff tone was shorter than usual today.

"Sorry. I was--" Jaskier broke off. He didn't want to say it aloud. Which was silly because he had seen Geralt speaking to his own horse, Roach many mornings. Not to mention afternoons and evenings and any other time they were shooting scenes and Geralt was brought on set to stay with the horses. "I was just telling Pegasus that it's our last day with the horses. Or my last day, I suppose."

"Hmm."

Jaskier already missed the grunts. It was unclear if Geralt disliked him because of Valdo's rumors. But truthfully, the horsemaster hadn't seemed to have taken a shine to anyone over the course of shooting.  

Well, not any humans, at least.

He doted on all the horses. Roach in particular, and Jaskier couldn't blame him. She was a sweet mare and if Jaskier hadn't been assigned his darling Pegasus, he would have liked a chance to ride Roach as well.

But of course not. She was Geralt's favorite and Valdo's mount.

Not that the actor cared. The animals were more like props than living beings to him. Jaskier didn't like thinking about the amount of times he had seen Valdo curl his lip at Roach.

Just Jaskier's luck.

He had beaten out Valdo for a role which he hadn’t even known the man had wanted. And in return, Jaskier’s last few months had been lonely and uncomfortable and—

He set his forehead against Pegasus’s neck and took a breath to steady himself.

He could still feel Geralt’s presence. Lifting his head back up, he smiled at the man who showed no emotion in return. At least Jaskier knew that Geralt didn't like anyone else on the set either. In a strange way, it helped. Geralt was a part of his respite in the stables just by being impartial to the rest of the gossip of the set.

"Not the last day overall, of course. But I checked and I know we're moving on to another area for the next month or so. Granted, I guess you'll still be here if they want to do re-shoots, right? Can't go through the trouble of training so many horses over again."

Geralt had apparently decided that Jaskier wasn't even worth of his grunts anymore. As if Jaskier was the one who came out early to the stables to interrupt him and not vice-versa. Still, the actor had to admit that the quiet of the stable comforted him regardless. No one gossiping. No Valdo. Just him and Pegasus.

And Geralt, he supposed.

And Roach.

And the other horses.

Well, Jaskier supposed no moment was truly perfect.

----------------

Jaskier let his fingers run over the intricate chainmail of one of the many costumes from the film. Percival and his artistic team had done such excellent work. It was a shame that most of it would be auctioned off but with any luck, some would go into a production vault or even a perhaps a museum exhibit for film costumes. While Jaskier enjoyed the way his costume felt on him, purchasing it wasn't a priority for him.

“Percival!" He called when he saw the crewman in question. "This is for the auction, right? Do you know when it's actually happening?”

Jaskier hated how nervous he felt. He knew the horses were up on the auction block and he had a plan. Pegasus was the only good part of this filming and Jaskier didn't want to leave him behind. “For the horses,” Jaskier clarified.

“You interested?”

“Very.” Feeling much like the office was his primary school classroom, Jaskier stood up straight and put on his best serious face. “I’ve got the space and a neighbor who already shared the name of the veterinarian he uses for his farm.”

“Better prepared than most actors who make a snap decision at those auctions. Plenty of times I’ve heard of some bigshot selling off a horse after less than a month."

Jaskier couldn't tamp down the pride he felt at getting Percival's approval. Gods, he needed to leave this set. Just spend some time with Priscilla and not think about acting for a while. With any luck, he'd be spending time with Pegasus as well.

“How awful.”

“Can’t be helped. You’ll want Pegasus, of course?” Percival asked knowingly, poking fun at Jaskier's wide smile.

“Please. Send me the info and if I can’t be there and I’ll send someone else in my stead.” Jaskier couldn't help himself. “Truthfully, I’d take Roach too but I suspect the horsemaster has his eye on her.”

“Geralt?" Percival asked. He shook his head. "He can’t afford her.”

“You’re kidding.” What a shame. Jaskier had never met a horse and a rider so in tune with one another. He had just taken it as fact that Geralt would be taking Roach home with him. For the first few weeks, until gruffly corrected by Geralt, Jaskier had assumed that Geralt owned Roach and had brought her to set in the first place.

Though, looking back, it was a foolish thing to think. Roach and Valdo had been paired together for the duration of the filming and Geralt's stony glare anytime the actor mounted the mare...well, Jaskier would assume that if Roach had belonged to Geralt, he would have banned Valdo from riding her.

“Already asked him. I went to give him the info because I thought the same as you. Figured he’d be first in line but he didn’t even consider it. Poor fella. I didn’t want to push, you know?”

“Good man.” Jaskier stroked Pegasus and his eyes drifted over to Roach.

----------------

Zoltan's head poked through the door of office had housed the horse crew for the past few months. It hadn't become home, certainly, but the production team had put together a good group. Geralt would be keeping the contact information of more than a few riders and trainers in hopes of working with them again on future projects.

"You headed out, Rivia?"

"Almost packed. Just wanted to stop by the stables." The production auction had already happened but Geralt hadn't heard of any of the horses being moved out just yet. That kind of transport, especially if they weren't being kept local, took time to arrange. He had double-checked too. There was plenty of time for him to say goodbye to Roach. Give her a few extra treats, a good brushing down. The best sendoff a girl could ask for, really.

And she deserved a proper goodbye. Geralt had second-guessed himself, knowing how much it would hurt to say farewell but he couldn't help himself. Between the actors and the long shoots, all the horses deserved some post-production pampering. Geralt hoped the rest of them would get it once they were with their new owners and families.

"Surely you're doing more than stopping by."

"What?"

Zoltan gave him a perplexed look. "Roach, I mean. You're taking her with you, aren't you?"

"Can't afford her," Geralt said, trying not to grit his teeth. He had only said it aloud once before. When Percival had asked for his future plans. All of the horses were auctioned off at the end of the production, along with various bits and bobs that the studio didn't want to keep or store.

Roach was a prize mare, along with many of the other impressively bred horses in that stable.

Geralt would have loved to take her back to the ranch and shared stables that he ran with his family but it just wasn't in the cards. It was kind of the manager to even come to him and inquire. It spoke volumes about what Geralt had accomplished over the course of the shoot. At least with that gesture, Geralt knew he'd have a reference for future jobs. Perhaps not just for him but for the ranch too.

"But she's in your name. Isn’t she?"

"What are you talking about?"

Zoltan came into the room now, still looking at Geralt as though the man needed his head examined. He spoke slowly. "Geralt, I saw the finalized auction list. She's been paid for already and your name is on the front of her paddock."

Geralt froze. Surely Zoltan misread or even misunderstood. Geralt's name's was occasionally listed on paperwork as a handler if a buyer wanted to know more about a horse's temperament. But not as the owner or buyer.

He slowly backed away from Zolton and calmly headed towards the stables, and Roach's stall. He did not want to sprint eagerly or get his hopes up so instead, Geralt inhaled and exhaled every other measured step.

Roach's ownership papers were slipped in a plastic sleeve with a little metal hook attached so it remained securely on the nails of the stall door. Little dried stains and dirt covered the plastic and Geralt imagined Roach trying to get at her own papers.

Geralt von Rivia.

Undeniably, there in black and white. Geralt blinked, not believing his own eyes.

But still, there it was: Geralt von Rivia.

"Ah, Geralt!" The stablemaster came up to him, clapping him on the shoulder. "I had heard that you weren't able to bid. What a lovely surprise when I saw the name." Roach stretched as far out of her stall as she could manage, just reaching Geralt to nudge him. "And it looks like she agrees as well."

"But I didn't bid," Geralt said, confused. He stared at the paperwork for an extended period of time. He just couldn't believe it. Even encased in plastic that had corners peeling away at the top, it looked as officially legal as the other ones hangin off of the rest of the stalls in the stable.

"What?"

"I didn't bid. I told them that I couldn't. I didn't— I don't..." Geralt tilted his head and looked at the placard attached to the paddock. Geralt von Rivia and Roach.

How?

"I don't think anyone would be so cruel to play on a joke on you like this, mate."

"How can I check?"

The stablemaster pulled out his phone and held up a finger. Geralt didn't argue but watched the man dial a number and take a few steps away.

Roach stretched her neck again so her entire head came through the opening above the stall.

"Hello, girl." Geralt used both hands to rub at her face. He couldn't help it. Even if his name on the paperwork ended up being a cruel joke, he could imagine her at his family's ranch. She wouldn't take shit from the bigger stallion his brother kept and she'd teach their other mares to do the same.

"I talked to the production office. Said she's yours. The bid was placed anonymously."

"What? Anonymously?" Geralt looked at Roach as though she had the answers but the stablemaster continued to talk.

"They also included shipping costs as well as extra for feed, care, special needs, etc. A retainer essentially."

"Anonymous? How could they manage that?” Geralt leaned against the stall door, brain going into overdrive. He wasn't even sure where to start.

The stablemaster clearly could tell, and his voice softened, speaking as he would to any of the horses in the building. Geralt couldn't find it in himself to angry. It was a strange version of kindness that, in his overwhelmed state, he had no option except to accept. "It's all in the paperwork."

"Can I get a copy?"

"She's yours, Geralt, of course. Her and the paperwork."

Geralt looked at the paperwork attached to the stall and began to slide it out of its protective slip. He balanced his phone in one hand and the papers in the other as he slowly began taking photographs of each one. "I want to send the information to my friend before I— before I take her home."

"A lawyer, you mean."

Geralt nodded. "Just to double check."

“Smart man. Let me know if I can be of anymore help.”

Mercifully, the stablemaster left and Geralt let himself slide down the stall door. He knew he'd have to change pants before leaving now but he couldn't bring himself to care. He leaned his head back against the door.

He squinted at the sun through the windows as he struggled to hear the phone ringing amidst the breakdown of the rest of the set.

“Geralt.”

“Yenn.” Geralt couldn’t manage more than that. He took a deep breath to try again but Yennefer stopped him.

“Geralt? Are you all right? I thought you were still on location for that god awful film.”

“I am. I’m still there. I just. Something’s happened. I’m fine,” he added quickly. “It’s just strange.”

“Explain.”

"If someone bought you something anonymously, is there a way to tell who it was?"

"A gift? What kind of gift has you this shaken up? I am going to need so much more context, Geralt. Not to mention lunch and permission to laugh at you for whatever this is once you're back in the area.” Yennefer stopped talking and Geralt heard a few voices, none of them hers. “That is, I assume you're not back in the area yet. I just saw Eskel at the market last week. He would have mentioned it."

"No we— the film just wrapped. Everything was being broken down and there was an auction but." Geralt took a breath and gathered his words. "The horse I talked to you about."

"The smart one, yes." Yennefer's voice grew quiet and sympathetic in a way that would have surprised Geralt when they first met. But she knew what horses meant to him and respected it. They had both come a long way with one another. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted to buy her."

"That’s the thing, Yenn, someone bought her for me. I just received the paperwork. They paid for her, the board, and transportation back to the ranch. Not to mention a little more if needed. What could be needed?"

"Maybe they thought since you couldn't afford the price of the horse, you couldn't afford food, medical care, things like that."

"Oh." Geralt couldn't decide if that was insulting or thoughtful. Most people on set only saw him in his barn clothing so perhaps they couldn't be blamed for the assumption. He certainly didn't attend any social gatherings after the work day. The cost of Roach had held him back, not the care.

"You don't know who it could have been? Not a clue?"

"I'm...not exactly friendly to people on set," Geralt growled. “I certainly didn’t endear myself to that Marx asshole who rode her during filming.” He hated being on set but he was there to do a job and at least if he was there, he knew someone was protecting the animals.

"You do want her, right?"

"Of course I do," Geralt gripped the phone tightly. "I just want to make sure it wasn't some kind of mistake. Or strings attached. That she can't just be taken away at all in the future."

"All right. I'll look into it. Send me everything and give me a few hours."

"Thank you."

----------------

Geralt von Rivia.

Jaskier shifted all of Pegasus’ equipment to one arm so he could reach out and touch the paper. It felt good to see.

He looked around the stable to check he was alone before giving Roach one last pat. He kissed her on the nose and whispered, “Goodbye.”

----------------

Geralt’s entire afternoon had to shift. No longer could he throw his duffel bag in his truck and endure the long drive home. Instead he spent the day asking for another night in one of the spare rooms near the set. He went to ask after borrowing a trailer, only to find that it was one of the included costs with the purchase of Roach and far too nice for his truck.

Most importantly, he spent time with Roach. She was the last horse left at the end of the day. He had avoided people by hopping into her stall at some point, the stables full of agencies and buyers coming to collect.

A few people stopped to read the paperwork outside Roach and Geralt couldn’t stop his pride from rising. She was a star, great stock but even better temperament. And she was all his now.

Thankfully, by the time Yennefer called, no one was in the stables to hear a mobile phone start ringing inside one of the stalls.

“That was fast.”

“I’m very good at my job, Geralt.” Geralt wisely held his tongue. “Right so. Roach was bought and paid for by a Julian Alfred Pankratz."

Geralt blinked. He looked to Roach as though she could answer his questions. “I...I don't know a Julian-- whatever. Whatever name you just said to me."

Yennefer gently, "I think he's more commonly called Jaskier."

"Jaskier?"

"Yes, Jaskier. You know, one of the stars of the film series you've been working on the past few months."

Geralt bit back a growl. Yennefer was doing him a favor. He didn't need to be a twat. "I know who he is. I don't know why he bought Roach though."

He had certainly never been kind to Jaskier. If anything he had been a downright grump. Which wasn't much different from how Geralt treated most of the actors. Even the ones who had been nothing but kind to him.

He just couldn't risk it. The cast were a load of gossips and each week, Geralt heard something different about Jaskier and his coworkers. Geralt hadn't wanted to get involved.

It wasn't worth his time to be a notch in the bedpost for an actor who apparently had paramours throughout the cast and country, if the rumors were to be believed.

Clearly it hadn't mattered to Jaskier anyway.

"Bought and gave to you," Yennefer corrected. "Roach is in your name. I had to jump through some hoops to find this information. It wasn't easy. I don't think he intended on you ever knowing. He never mentioned it at all, correct?"

Most of the conversations Geralt had with the man were one-sided, or just corrections for his horse handling.

"Most of the actors left the day after the film wrapped. I haven't seen any of them save for a few who needed re-shoots with some of the sets we still had." His fist tightened around his phone. “I only told one person that I couldn’t afford Roach. He's not the type to pass around gossip.”

"I don't think Jaskier meant anything bad by it, Geralt."

"I just don't...understand."

"Me neither but unless you'd also like me to follow up, perhaps get in touch with his management?" She left the question hanging in the air and Geralt's face reddened at even the mention of talking to Jaskier again. It wasn't the man who had him worried but the whole process. Going through his team and agent just to ask why? What if he took back the gift?

Yennefer read his mind, as per usual. “He can't take Roach back, Geralt. I made sure of it but honestly, it looks like he is the one who made sure of it. No strings."  

"No strings."

"Do you want me to try and find out why? Have you looked at her teeth? Perhaps you might want to look a gift horse in the--"

"Yennefer," Geralt growled.

"Take Roach back to the ranch, Geralt. I'm sure your family will be excited to meet her."

----------------

"Is this my welcome?" Geralt hadn't even gotten out of his truck yet but he was tempted to make a u-turn and leave the ranch the same way he came in. He wasn't sure where he and Roach would go but anywhere would be better than his little brother giving him a suspicious expression the moment he pulled into the driveway. Eskel pushed Lambert to try and snap him out of his daze. "Well, are you just going to look at me like that or are you going to say hello?"

"Did we know you were bringing home a horse?" Eskel asked delicately while Lambert just continued to stare.

"I didn't even know I was bringing home a horse." Geralt slammed the driver's side door shut and caught Eskel in a hug. He snagged Lambert too even though the little shit tried to wriggle away after two seconds.

Lambert went through his fingers on a very short checklist. "Aiden was hoping you'd break your rule of no autographs for this one. But you didn't do that. And you brought home a horse."

"We've got a free stall, right?" Geralt looked towards the stables. They rarely had a full house unless they were hosting some kind of trail camp. Still, he hadn't even thought of calling home to check.

"She's staying?"

"She's mine." Geralt handed Eskel the paperwork and Lambert immediately hung over his shoulder to read through it.

Eskel's eyes widened at the sight of her lineage. "How did you afford--"

"I didn't. It's…a long story."

"You didn't steal a horse, did you? Someone is going to be looking for this girl."

"She's not stolen. Her name is Roach." Geralt ran his finger through his hair, pulling at the tangles from having the window open on the long ride back home. "Melitele, can we not do this now? Let me get her settled and then I'll tell you about it."

Eskel and Lambert exchanged a look and Eskel shoved Lambert off his shoulder. "Lambert, go tell Dad that Geralt's home. When does the trailer have to go back?"

"They bought that too."

"The trailer came with the horse?" Eskel waved his hand after seeing the pained look on Geralt's face. "All right, don't tell me. I know you don't want to explain it more than once."

He left Geralt to blessed silence. Silent as a farm could get, at any rate. He patted Roach's flank and coaxed her out of the trailer, leaving it unlocked and opened behind him. The ranch was isolated enough as it was and he'd be back for it soon enough.

"This is Scorpion. That's Kelpie," Geralt introduced Roach to each horse as he walked her by their stalls, finally coming to an empty one. He eyed up Scorpion, already thinking ahead. Eskel's stallion was of good lineage. It wouldn't be a bad match to think of for the future.

He hung around the stable as long as he thought he was able to. Just because one of his brothers hadn't been sent out to fetch him yet didn't mean that Vesemir hadn't already planned it. Geralt patted Roach one last time and headed out.

The farmhouse smelled just as he left it, like horse and his father's cooking. The first an unfortunate by-product of their lives but the second, a welcome back.

They didn't all still live in the house. Eskel had a cabin on the furthest edge of the land with a herd of goats that they rented out and kept for milk. Lambert and Aiden had just moved to another patch of acreage on the opposite side before Geralt had left for the film shoot. From what Geralt could gather from Eskel's texts, they swapped out more nights than one making sure someone was there to help Vesemir with the morning chores.

"Hey Dad." Geralt leaned in and let his Vesemir clap him on the back.

"Good to have you home." Vesemir's gruff voice washed over Geralt and he felt something in his shoulders settle. He took the offered bowl of stew and purposefully brushed against both Eskel and Lambert on his way to sit at the table.

"Good to be home."

Lambert, mouth full of beef stew, used his dripping spoon to gesture to the TV.

“You worked with him, right?”

"Who?" Geralt looked up from his bowl. There was an entertainment show on the television but it had gone commercial. Lambert rolled his eyes at him.

“Jackass. Jaskier. They had a whole segment on him."

Geralt swallowed and before he could overthink it, told them, "That’s the one who bought Roach. Bought her in my name, I mean."  

Eskel near choked on a beef chunk, "What?"

"Him?" Lambert's eyes widened. He shot a look at Vesemir. "Did you, uhh--" but he didn't get a chance to finish because Geralt threw a chunk of bread at his head.

"I didn't sleep with him, you ass. I don't know why he did it. I wasn't even supposed to know, according to Yennefer."

Geralt wished he knew why. It was an itch he couldn't scratch, though having Roach home and in her stall was a significant balm. He accepted another slice of bread from Eskel.

"She checked it out?" Vesemir asked knowingly. "Everything is all right?"

"The paperwork all checks out. No strings," Geralt echoed Yennefer's earlier words.

"Good lineage," Eskel added slowly. "There’s no issues with her health?”

Geralt nodded. "None that I know of. I'm going to call in Coën tomorrow to give her a full check-up and we'll go from there. I don't think there will be a problem though."

Lambert shrugged at Eskel who still looked suspicious. He eyed the door that led out closest to the barn as if he wanted to go interrogate Roach to find out more. “Oh. Well, I guess a person who buys a horse anonymously as a gift can’t be that big of an ass then like the papers say, right? Was he?”

“Was he what?”

“An ass. Was Jaskier an ass?” Lambert asked again.

Geralt pondered the question. He hadn't expected to think this much about anyone from the cast after production had set down. Definitely not Jaskier.

Truthfully, Jaskier had been the furthest thing from an ass. Sure, he had gotten to the stables earlier than the other actors but it was a strange thing for Geralt to complain about considering how late the rest of the cast were for their training sessions. He cared about the horses too. It had been sweet.

"What are you on about?" Vesemir grumbled.

Lambert, mouth full of stew, looked at Eskel imploringly, fighting to swallow. Eskel tilted his head towards the television. "The lad who bought Geralt his horse apparently got on the bad side of some folks. The gossip shows say they've been spreading rumors about him for months."

"Did he say that? Jaskier." Geralt's attention suddenly back on the television. The b-roll footage of a posh gentleman on the red carpet was not the same man covered in a dirt -covered costume after a ride or a long shoot, that was for sure. It still was Jaskier though.

"No one's heard from him. It's all come out now after the production's ended."

Eskel plucked a newspaper off of the counter and passed it over to Geralt who took it but kept it closed. Jaskier's face was on the cover or it would have been if his hand hadn't blocked the photograph from the view. "Wouldn't be surprised if he sued them for libel though. Judging by what they're saying in here, he's certainly got a case."

FALSEHOODS AND PRODUCTION WOES the newspaper headline shouted. Geralt ran through the first few lines of the article and felt the pit in his stomach begin to grow.

“I heard some of these.” He had been on more toxic sets in the past. With more difficult actors trying to make passes at him, sometimes aggressively. Thinking that crew should be lucky to get their attention. Television shows, soap operas had been worse. But this still hadn't been good. And Jaskier had been nothing but kind to him. Annoying, perhaps early in the morning but, certainly nothing like the rumors had suggested. Still Geralt had done his best to ignore him.

“No kidding? Maybe they’ll call you in to testify.”

Geralt leaned against the counter and stared the newspaper, hoping no one else heard the roaring in his ears.

Perhaps there had been another reason Jaskier was hiding in the stables each morning instead of by the breakfast tables in the craft tent.

Certainly Geralt had taken his solace in the company of animals before. Jaskier had clearly just been doing the same.

----------------

“You have more security out in the country. That’s the whole point of the privacy fence,” Priscilla argued. Jaskier had been sneaking peeks through the blinds for the better part of the morning. His face had gotten paler with each glance.

“I know you’re right.”

“I am. London will still be here when this all blows over. Or when a judge makes it blow over.” Jaskier sighed. Priscilla hated seeing him like this, curled up on the couch, phone turned off. Country life would be pleasant in more than one way.

“You can bond some more with that horse you’ve got. I’m sure he missed you.”

“I’ll just have to come back to the premiere,” Jaskier warned. “You won’t have the flat to yourself for too long.”

----------------

"Zoltan."

"You're going."

"Going where?"

"To the premiere."

"We're a little busy here." Geralt gazed around the quiet stables and winced at the phone in his hand. What Zoltan didn't know wouldn't hurt him. The last thing Geralt wanted to do was take the journey into London and be around people that he didn't even socialize with when he was paid to.

"All the crew is invited and the production team is insisting the crew come so they don't look like asshats. Please come keep me company," Zoltan near begged.

"Too late for that isn't it?" Geralt thought back to the television stories and the articles about Jaskier.

Sure, maybe Geralt had given into his curiosity and googled Jaskier's name a few times after his first night home but the man really had vanished. No photographer had been able to capture any images of him and his team weren't responding to any questions.

Geralt wasn't sure if it was Jaskier's team at work or someone in his corner but certainly he had read a few articles about instances of Jaskier's kindness. He had experienced that first hand and judging by the rest of the stories, he felt they had to be true. Most of Jaskier's generosity came anonymously but he hadn't always been as good at covering his tracks as he had been with Roach.

"Well, perhaps. Valdo made sure of that."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, I just meant. All those rumors he spread about Jaskier. Turns out this wasn't the first person who he had done this too. I heard tell that Valdo is going to be blacklisted in the industry and then sued for gossip. Defamation or something. I'm not too sure. It'll be out in the papers soon enough."

"Libel," Geralt murmured, thinking back to the articles he had read. "Even I heard gossip around the set."

"I didn't believe any of it, personally. Jaskier was always a polite fellow and some of it was nasty. Well, I'm sure you didn't either. Otherwise Jaskier wouldn't have done you that solid."

"What solid?"

Zoltan was quiet for a beat too long.

Geralt sighed. One more piece of the puzzle. "You mean Roach. I know he bought Roach for me. But how did you know?"

"Ah well..."

"I had to go through a lawyer to find out," Geralt added.

"I did the paperwork," Zoltan admitted. "He did want it to be anonymous but I thought that was just so production couldn't give him a hard time about buying two horses."

"He bought another horse?"

Zoltan paused again. "He really never mentioned this to you? He was in the stables near every morning."

"For training."

"Not just for training. Though I guess we know now that he was just trying to stay away from Valdo and his cronies." Geralt wasn't sure what to say to that. He had never been anyone's idea of a respite and his guilt at knowing he hadn’t made the time easier for Jaskier still weighed on his mind. Though perhaps Jaskier had just been after the horses. "He bought the one he rode. Pegasus."

"Oh."

Geralt hadn't expected that. He knew Jaskier had gotten along with the horse, of course. That had been easy enough to see, sweet even. But it was still a surprise. A pleasant one.

There was something about Jaskier buying a horse for himself and for Geralt. As if the man understood the responsibility and the importance. He wasn't just buying Roach as a gift for whatever reason, he knew everything the job would entail.

"The premiere is in London. Should be a good time so long as no one leaks the news about any legal cases beforehand."

Geralt rubbed his hand over Roach's nose and made a snap decision. "I'll meet you there."

"Really?"

"You owe me a drink."

"Should be an open bar, mate."

"Well, that makes it easy for you then."

----------------

Geralt wasn't exactly keeping up with Jaskier's story but Aiden and Lambert watched enough entertainment news for the rest of them. Gossip papers would be left out around the barn by visitors without issue. If Geralt just happened to see that Jaskier hadn't been heard from in a few weeks since production shut down then, well, that was just a fact that lived in Geralt's brain.

One that he definitely didn't overthink. Not with the premiere already on his mind.

"It really was Valdo," Lambert had told him one morning. "Apparently he wanted that role of Jaskier's so badly that he decided that he'd try to make sure the guy would never have any other roles again."

Geralt didn't let on that he had known. Still, he hadn't thought about the creep since Zoltan had brought him up.

Valdo. Like Zoltan had said, it was no wonder Jaskier had always signed up to be the first person at the stables with Geralt. Valdo Marx would never deign to get to the stables early in the morning, even when it was a necessity that he do so.

"Loads of other actors apparently apologized for listening to Valdo. They'd been giving Jaskier the cold shoulder for weeks now. But still, no one has seen him."

"I can't blame him for wanting to take a break from acting. Even now with the rumors out, I think I'd find another industry to work in all together." Aiden shook his head. He looked up at Geralt hopefully, nudging Lambert conspicuously. "You haven't heard from anyone from set talking about it?"

Geralt gave Lambert an exasperated look. "I know you had overheard that conversation. I'm not taking either of you to the premiere. I'm staying for one drink and then getting on the train again."

"Told you so," Lambert muttered. "Fine. Be that way."

“Poor guy,” Eskel murmured. “I’d hide too if I just had to spend months contractually obligated with people all poisoned against me.”

Geralt kept his eyes down, wishing the conversation would change. Wishing he hadn’t been such a fool. At least he knew why Jaskier had always signed up to be the first person at the stables. Not that the information helped Geralt’s newly-acquired nausea.

----------------

It would be fine.

That's what Geralt kept repeating to himself on the tube ride into London.

Geralt would go in, have a drink with Zoltan, find Jaskier, thank him, and then never have to think of the man again. A strange sense of closure for someone he never had a relationship with, platonic or otherwise, but it was the right thing to do.

Everytime he looked at Roach or rode her around the ranch, he thought of Jaskier. It wasn't guilt or anything owed to the man. Geralt believed in the actor's earnestness and no-strings gift.

He managed to find Zoltan right away, the two of them hiding in a corner of the hotel bar through the actual film and more when crowds finally came back.

"I had wondered if Jaskier was even going to come," Zoltan confided in Geralt, leaning closer to the bar and looking over their shoulders as their lobby filled up.

"Because of Marx?"

Zoltan nodded. "I suspect there will be a healthy number of people keeping them away from one another."

"For good reason." Geralt tried not to be too obvious in his glances behind them but Zoltan knew enough of the cause. "Why come at all, I wonder?"

"Contract," Zoltan told him, pressing his lips thin. He shook his head at the thought. "It's written in the contracts that they've got to do press and this counts as press."

"The red carpet beforehand, surely. But I can't imagine a party is." Geralt shifted uncomfortably. The bar was filling up and he and Zoltan were getting squashed to one side already. The gracious and well-tipped bartender had thought ahead and topped the two of them off before the rush began.

"You've been in this business for a few years now. Surely you're not that naive."

Geralt finally caught sight of Jaskier. In a plain blue suit, unlike such patterned clothing he had worn even after Geralt had told him he’d only get the fineries dirty.

Without turning to look at the crowd or see if anyone was watching him, Jaskier hurried up the side stairs to where Geralt knew there was another reserved space, a small but grand library room that hadn’t been alrered since the 30s. He and Zoltan had stumbled upon it earlier in the afternoon while hiding from cameras.

"I'm more naive than I think sometimes." Geralt nodded to Zoltan and held out his hand. Zoltan took it to shake instantly. “It was good to see you. Call if you’re ever by the ranch. We’d be happy to have you.”

Following Jaskier’s path and manners, Geralt also didn’t look behind him as he slipped up the same stairs, closing the paneled door after him.

Geralt allowed himself a moment to look at Jaskier. The man had his coat in hand and was staring out of the rather large window flanked by two bookshelves.

“I just wanted to—“ Jaskier spun around, hand to his chest. Geralt took a step backwards. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Geralt,” Jaskier finally said, even though his heavy breaths were still evident. He stood up straight and blinked a few times too quickly. Geralt softened his voice, hoping to ease his nerves.

“Jaskier. I just wanted to catch you to say thank you.”

Jaskier flinched, just slightly. He tilted his head and looked at Geralt as though he was the picture of innocence, furrowing his brow slightly to sell the confused image.

"For what?"

"Jaskier," Geralt chastised. He was in no mood. He had been around far too many people this night. Jaskier thought so too judging by the fact that he had left the main party room for this quieter one. Still, Geralt knew that wasn’t the only reason. "Thank you for Roach."

Jaskier's mouth opened a bit and then closed again. He seemed to be eyeing how Geralt was blocking the only exit out of the room. "How do you know?"

"Was I not supposed to find out?"

"Well, it was— anonymous. I thought." Jaskier's confused expression tightened as though he was trying to remember the legal jargon he had gone through when setting up Roach's purchase and fund.

"I--" Geralt felt his face go a bit red with embarrassment at that. "I wanted to make sure she really was mine. No strings or anything. I had a lawyer friend look into it just to double check."

"Right.” Jaskier shook his head, a few locks of hair coming loose from their coiffed position. “Yes, of course."

Geralt hated that Jaskier was agreeing with him. As if it was perfectly all right for Geralt to be suspicious of a gift and also of Jaskier himself. What a pair they were.

"Look," Jaskier held up his hands in front of him, "I know you don’t like me and I didn’t to it so you’d be— beholden to me or forced to pretend to like me or whatever. You weren’t supposed to find out. But that awful man from production was going to buy her and I couldn’t let that happen and I had heard that you were had turned down the opportunity which just seemed wrong. I mean, she’s clearly your horse and—"

"Thank you." Geralt said firmly. “Just...thank you."

"Oh. You’re welcome." Jaskier swallowed and chanced a look out the window again. Geralt watched him, very aware that he had done what he came to do. Still he couldn’t make himself leave.

"Are you planning on hiding here all right?"

Jaskier shrugged. "I haven’t decided yet.”

Geralt wasn't sure what to do with that one.

"Would you like to come visit Roach?" He tried next.

Jaskier still looked uncomfortable.

“Right now?”

Geralt remembered the early training calls, how quiet Jaskier was when other people began to come around the barn, the rumors he heard even his first week on set. How he had let them affect the way he handled being around Jaskier more than anyone else. Fuck.

"Where do you live?" Geralt asked suddenly, not realizing the strangeness of the question.

"What?" Jaskier seemed taken aback which was more than fair.

"I only meant— Here in London or LA or New Yo--"

"Here. England, I mean. I’ve got a little place a little ways outside of London."

That could be anywhere, Geralt didn’t say. Jaskier still looked uncomfortable. His shoulders were hunched and he was holding himself tightly with his arms straight down at his side so his hands could be shoved into his pockets.

It had been weeks since they had seen each other last and Geralt just. He had so many things to say now but couldn't make the right words come out of his mouth.

He thought about Jaskier every time he rode Roach around the farm. He wished that it was just the two of them at 6am on the training set again. Jaskier on Pegasus and Geralt on Roach, going through the obstacle courses.

He wanted a second chance to ignore rumors and laugh at Jaskier's jokes and flirt back at him. Geralt had that open Jaskier still in his mind, who was so pleased to see both Geralt and the horses even though it was barely past dawn and he had had a late shoot the previous night.

"Did you really buy Pegasus too?" Geralt asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Jaskier blushed. "I did. He's with me. Well, a stable near me. I know I'm not the greatest at care as you saw it but I visit him and ride as often as I can." His smile was soft just thinking about the horse and Geralt again ached, thinking about the morning dew, riding with Jaskier around the ring. The soft voice that he used for the horses regardless of who could hear him.

"You’re welcome to come see Roach anytime. Especially if you want to bring Pegasus. My father’s ranch is remote and private. Sometimes we get writers or other people stay for retreats in some of the smaller cabins."

Jaskier still looked uncomfortable. Upset, even. He had taken his hands out of his pockets and he was leaning backwards, clutching the window frame. Geralt wondered how much acting he did on a daily basis.

He really hadn’t meant for Geralt to find out about Roach.

"He's really fine. I promise," Jaskier said quietly.

Geralt swallowed his nausea at just how still Jaskier was holding himself. At how Jaskier thought Geralt only inquired after Pegasus because he assumed Jaskier couldn’t take proper care of him.

And that was Geralt’s fault. For listening to rumors. For being colder to Jaskier as the shoot weeks had gone on. The man had sometimes beaten Geralt to the stables in the morning and in return, Geralt had barely spoken to him.

"I have no doubt that he is enjoying your care. As well as you sneaking him too many treats," Geralt joked, trying to lighten the mood. He hadn't mean to imply that Jaskier wasn't taking proper care of Pegasus. That hadn't been it at all. He was just. He wanted to be near Jaskier. He didn’t want to leave him just yet.

He took his eyes off of Jaskier's and they fell to his long fingers. Even though he was facing Geralt, Jaskier’s fingers were clutching the window lip.

He hadn’t been looking out the window or catching his breath in an empty room.

Jaskier had been trying to get out onto the fire escape.

Of course.

Geralt sighed, he could feel a dull ache behind one of his eyeballs. Perfect. He had already caused Jaskier enough panic for one night and now a headache. He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

"Here is a card for my friend. She’s a fantastic lawyer and if you mention my name, she’ll take you on. She might laugh but she’ll do it. The laughing will mostly be at me,” he added. "You might not need her, of course. But she's the one who helped figure out it was you who got Roach for me."

Jaskier took the card from Geralt's outstretched hand and near cradled it in his hands. "Thanks."

"Do you want help opening the window that you were trying to escape out of?"

There was a spark in his eye that Geralt hadn't seen in months and he was willing to bet he wasn't the only one who missed it.

"Please."

Geralt used one hand to gesture for Jaskier to move out of the way and he did, with almost too much glee. There was a bounce in his step that Geralt was relieved to see. None of the tabloids or entertainment shows could see that when they talked about him.

He carefully examined the large window. The expansive sash was sturdy enough but Geralt was more than a match for its age. He reached up and unlocked the top before heaving under the lip.

It opened without issue.

“Thank you so much,” Jaskier gushed. He didn’t even wait for Geralt to move out of the way before climbing into the fire escape. He turned to look back at Geralt. “I really appreciate it.”

Geralt gestured again, this time for Jaskier to step back, further out the window.

"What are you doing?" Jaskier asked as Geralt had one foot out the window.

Geralt raised an eyebrow. “I opened the window. Am I not also allowed to climb out of it?"

"I guess." Jaskier looked bewildered. “There’s still a party downstairs.”

"I think you know me well enough to know that it’s not my kind of party.” Geralt enjoyed seeing the flush on Jaskier’s face at the possibility that the two of them might know one another at all. “I'm not letting you fall down the fire escape."

"Just because my upper body strength is lacking doesn't mean I've never climbed down a fire escape before," Jaskier argued even as he made for the ladder.

God, did Geralt want to know that story. He could do nothing but follow Jaskier.

Out of the window, down the fire escape, and to the ground, where Jaskier landed safely with a soft "Oomph."

"Thank you,” he told Geralt again. Then, before he could lose his courage, he added, “It was good to see you again.” He took off down the street, collar popped up around the lower half of his face.

Geralt wanted to call after him, invite him to get a drink, spirit him away before the cameras out front could find him. He imagined them getting the tube together and riding away all while Jaskier huddled closer to him, whether for warmth or so no one recognized him. Geralt fantasized the worst case scenario, with himself stepping in as the hero for Jaskier, blocking him from the cameras.

In the end, he watched Jaskier, hunched over himself in a foreboding navy coat, make his way around the corner. And then he went home to the ranch and told Roach all about it.

----------------

“Just like that?” Priscilla asked, graciously not mentioning the fact that Jaskier had put on her favorite sweatpants or that he had heart eyes whilst talking about this mysterious horse guy.

Jaskier shrugged, swirling a wine glass with one hand. “Just like that. I’ve gotten a new agent. A new lawyer seems like a good place to start.”

“And you trust him?” Priscilla held up the card. “He couldn’t afford a horse and yet has a friend who works here?”

“She’s how he found out I bought the horse for him.”

“Your funeral.”

----------------

"Geralt von Rivia," Yennefer's voice came through his phone. Geralt winced and so did Eskel even though he was near three meters away. Yennefer only used their full names when they were in trouble. "Did you give some twink my number?"

"Can you help him?"

"Yes, I believe I can. i just wanted to check his story."

"He bought Roach for me."

"Yes, the mystery-horse buyer. I remember." Yennefer's quiet voice used to grate on Geralt. He never knew what it meant. He used to think he was a fool but as their relationship developed, he realized that Yennefer's version of caring contained a lot of frighteningly quiet determination.

"I wasn't supposed to find out, apparently."

Geralt wasn't grumpy about the situation.

He wasn't.

He just wished that everything was different. That was all.

"Well, he didn't anticipate you having me for a lawyer." Yennefer paused and Geralt heard some paper rustling in the background. "Did you know about all this? His situation, I mean.”

“I’ve heard rumors.” Geralt didn't mention that he had been reading Lambert's discarded tabloids and doing some googling of his own.

“Rumors of the situation or the rumors being spread about him on set?”

“The latter,” Geralt mumbled, embarrassed. "Both, I suppose. Lambert reads the tabloids. So does Aiden."

“No wonder he talked himself in circles about you. His friend had to stop him twice from rambling on.”

Geralt wanted to ask about that but he knew Yennefer wouldn't answer. Or couldn't, with a confidentiality clause.

“Can you fix it?”

She scoffed. “Of course I can. It’ll be a bit messy but luckily, this isn’t the only lawsuit against this guy. Tons of evidence and witnesses too. He managed to get a new agent who hasn't been doing half bad of a job. Don't worry, Geralt. I'll protect him.”

"Marx?"

"Yes. It's not the first time he's done this either." Then, softer. "I'll help him, Geralt. I promise."

"Thank you."

----------------

“Jaskier!” One of the farmer’s son sprinted up to him, coming to a stop once he reached the stables. Jaskier had just gotten himself onto Pegasus for the day. “We had a man come round asking about you yesterday. Dad wanted you to know.”

“Here?” Jaskier dismounted quickly and looked around the farm to the tree line, expecting the press to come racing at him after the teen. "Take a breath, Matthew."

Matthew and the rest of his family had been nothing but kind to Jaskier since he had started boarding Pegasus at their farm. He hated to think they were being harassed by some reporters.

“One of those newspaper people. Had a camera and everything.”

Jaskier's heart sank but Matthew shook his head.

“Posh twat!” One of the farmhands yelled from the loft. “We ran him out!”

Jaskier didn’t bothering covering his mouth as he laughed along with Matthew. “He didn’t cause any trouble?” He asked earnestly.

“We said that we’d never heard of you," Matthew said proudly.

“Thank you so much.” Jaskier heaved a sigh of relief and leaned against Pegasus. He gave the horse a kiss and nodded to Matthew again. The boy, realizing just how close he and Jaskier were standing, blushed a bit before racing off.

----------------

It had taken Geralt a long time in his life to learn never to doubt Yennefer but it was a lesson that had stuck.

In keeping up with the news about Jaskier, Geralt had learned a lot about him. To the point where, when Jaskier’s best friend, Priscilla, was interviewed on the red carpet of her latest premiere and asked about the missing man, Geralt knew exactly who she was. It also meant that Geralt could properly appreciate her viciously telling the interviewer to fuck off.

Jaskier still hadn't worked on a film in weeks but Yennefer assured him it was for the best and that Jaskier was doing fine. Laying low was a part of the plan.

The successful plan as it so happened.

Lambert slapped the newspaper down on the breakfast table. Geralt and Eskel both jumped back.

"The guy who saved Roach has been saved!" He crowed triumphantly, dodging a spoon thrown by Geralt.

"Jaskier?” Eskel asked. “The trial went off all right?”

Lambert nodded towards the paper. “It says Marx was found guilty. So Jaskier and the other people he talked about are in the clear with any luck. Have you talked to him?"

"What?" Geralt looked up from the front page. Jaskier looked good in most outfits, of course, but the official black suit for court did nothing but match him to Yennefer, who was barely in the photograph, as the newspaper had tried so hard to cut her out.

"I know it says he won the case but he looks here miserable, mate.”

"Tabloid photos aren't real indicators of a person's well-being," Geralt said stiffly. Even though Lambert was right. Geralt kept picturing the animated Jaskier that he had been privileged to see for a whole thirty seconds at the premiere party.

"You texted him though, right?"

Geralt hummed. "Yennefer's helping him out."

Eskel and Lambert responded at the same time.

"That's not an answer to his question."

"That's not an answer to my question."

Sometimes Geralt really hated his brothers.

"You gave him Yennefer's name?" Eskel urged on.

“Must have,” Lambert commented, tapping on the partial shot of Yennefer buried under headline text.

"Her card." Geralt also remembered Jaskier's uncomfortable body language at the party. Curled in on himself, not meeting anyone's eyes and when he did, he looked right past them. Sometimes when Geralt closed his eyes he saw Jaskier's white knuckles against the windowpane, desperate to make an escape. Geralt provided that. He gave that to him. And Yennefer's information. "He seemed like he just needed someone in his corner."

"And now?"

"He's Yennefer's client right now. They're not friends. Yet,” he added. “Knowing Yennefer, it will depend on if she likes him or not."

Lambert turned back towards his breakfast but Eskel still had a knowing eye on his brother.

“Looks like it’s all wrapped up. He’s not her client anymore.”

"I don't have his number." Geralt admitted, just barely audible. “I never did.”

Eskel reached over and tapped on the screen of Geralt’s phone. "I bet Yennefer does."

----------------

Geralt: Do you have Jaskier's number? Yennefer: Finally. Yennefer: I can't give it to you. Yennefer: But I can give your information to him. Geralt: Thank you. Yennefer: He's sweet but skittish. Be gentle.

----------------

Yennefer: 033 0058 0058 Jaskier: What's that? Yennefer: Geralt's number.

Jaskier sighed and touched his thumb to Yennefer's name.

"You're calling the wrong number," she told him in lieu of a greeting.

"I don't know him," Jaskier argued. "We were never supposed to see each other again."

"I expect a gift basket after the wedding then."

"Shall I expect one for you and Priscilla?" Jaskier asked coolly. Thankfully, Yennefer laughed and he managed to keep going. "He didn't want to talk to me when we had to spend near every day together. I don't think I can manage a phone conversation if it's just me." He wasn't worried about being too honest. Not with Yennefer, not after the trial.

He'd woken up plenty of times in Priscilla's flat after an emotional night to Yennefer at the door with breakfast for all three of them.

Yennefer hummed and in a way, she sounded almost like Geralt. "You're right. Can I make another suggestion?"

----------------

Yennefer: Are you home today? Geralt: Yes Yennefer: All day? Geralt: Yes Yennefer: Good. Stay there. Yennefer: Or outside. By the driveway. Geralt: Why? Yennefer: Trust me, Geralt. It's a lovely day. Yennefer: Just enjoy yourself.

----------------

Geralt stuffed his phone back in his pocket and asked Roach, “What do you think?”

Roach just looked at him which was fair but Geralt’s heart started to race with the anticipation.

He couldn’t be sure of what was coming but he hoped. He left the stables and headed for the house. Sitting on the porch did nothing for Geralt’s nerves so instead he found himself standing in front of it.

Barely twenty minutes had gone by but still Geralt found himself picking the paint off of the porch railing.

An unfamiliar engine caught Geralt’s ear and he turned towards the front drive.

Then, there he was.

Jaskier.

In a shoddy little truck with faded red paint that was nearing pink. It looked as though perhaps Vesemir was only one old enough to have purchased it as new. He was towing a trailer behind him and Geralt would be willing to bet that he knew who was in there.

He also clearly didn’t know where to park. No doubt Yennefer had given him an address only. Geralt didn’t bother to hold back his enthusiasm, waving Jaskier towards the neat line of vehicles by the stables.

Geralt wondered if it would be too much to open the door for him but he remembered Yennefer’s words.

He's sweet but skittish. Be gentle.

Geralt could do gentle. He’d soothed plenty a horse in his time. So he hung back, just giving Jaskier what he hoped was an encouraging smile as he opened the car door himself.

"Um. Hello," Jaskier said shyly, a little nod of his head. With his priorities in place, he was already headed around to the trailer door. Geralt knew he was going to let Pegasus out but he couldn't help but feel as though Jaskier was trying to avoid contact with him at the same time.

He remembered how Jaskier needed to do something with his hands even on a good day, whether that was the infuriating clicking of the pen he used to make notes on his script or the constant twisting of Pegasus' leather reins around his fingers.

Geralt liked to think that this would be a good day but he knew how much courage it took for Jaskier to drive here with his horse.

Jaskier gave Pegasus a happy smile and guided him out of the trailer. It wasn't until the horse was solidly on the grass that Jaskier met Geralt's eyes again. Geralt could see that it wasn't just shyness. It was nerves.

Jaskier was biting at his lip and playing with the leather of the reins just like he had those mornings on set. "I wasn’t sure if the offer to visit was still there. Yennefer said—

"Yennefer was right," Geralt said quickly, beating Jaskier to the trailer door. He latched it shut, staring unblinkingly at Jaskier.

"Did Yennefer tell you to say that?"

“In my experience, it’s usually true,” Geralt joked. He took a step forward. "I'm...glad you're here."

"Oh. Oh, good," Jaskier sounded so relieved that Geralt wanted to convince him to stay forever. To gain confidence as Geralt did around his brothers, to be fed delicious meals by his father, and most importantly, to find peace with Geralt.

"I'm not...I'm not great over the phone anyway,” Geralt offered.

"I thought that might be the case,” Jaskier admitted honestly. “I wasn’t sure if I could stand to carry a whole conversation. Yennefer thought it would be easier for us just to..."

"Be together in person?"

"Well, I was going to say be with the horses. So we both have something to focus on if we need it." Jaskier lovingly stroked Pegasus and the horse nuzzled at him. Geralt had seen the same scene dozens of times over but that had been on set. Seeing it again here, on his family’s ranch was almost too good to be true.

"That works too." Geralt paused a moment and then urged Jaskier to follow him. “Come out to the barn. She’ll be excited to see you.”

Jaskier walked Pegasus through the stables. He let out the sweetest sigh upon seeing Roach again and Geralt never wanted Jaskier to leave the ranch again.

"Oh, hello, darling," Jaskier said quietly. Geralt took Pegasus' reins and Jaskier used his free hands to rub at Roach's nose. She leaned into the petting and Geralt wished he could take a photograph.

“I was a twat,” Geralt told him while Jaskier was distracted by a beautiful horse. “I’m sorry.”

Jaskier looked down and shrugged. “I’m sure you see all sorts on film sets. I can’t even imagine.”

“I bet you can.” Geralt stroked Pegasus. He unlatched Roach’s stall and gestured for Jaskier to lead her out. “You weren’t any trouble, you know.”

“I don’t know if you remember but you…you yelled at Marx one day. He was crowding me in the stable and Roach picked up on my mood and became irritated with him. You told him off.” Jaskier told all this to Roach and Geralt did him the courtesy of not commenting on it.

Geralt didn’t remember though. He had chased away dozens of actors from horses over the years. It didn’t surprise him that Marx had been one of them.

“I’m glad she was there to protect you. And I’m sorry I wasn’t more help.”

“I won’t say that it’s all right,” Jaskier said, with more strength than he looked. He swallowed and finally turned to Geralt. “It’s been…a long few weeks. Months, really. But we’re here now and—“

Roach nudged him again and he let out a little laugh. Some of the tension leaving him.

Roach nuzzled closer and Jaskier could tell she was eager to get out of her stall. “Yes, darling. I brought your old friend to come see you. I thought perhaps--" He looked at Geralt. "I thought perhaps we could go for a ride together? If you'd like."

"I'd love that," Geralt croaked, wondering how Jaskier could still be so brave after all this. That he was here and talking and asking Geralt to spend time with him. "Let me tack him up for you?" He asked, hand on Pegasus' flank.

Jaskier's brow furrowed. "I can do it."

"I know that you can. I want to do to it,” Geralt stressed. "Please," he added.

"Let's swap," Jaskier said, still lovingly petting Roach. "I haven't seen this girl in a while. It'll be nice."

"All right," Geralt agreed. He could see what Jaskier was doing.

It wasn't about a penance. Jaskier wanted them on some kind of equal footing. That was fair, Geralt supposed. Even though as of that specific moment, Geralt wanted to give Jaskier the world.

"Are you all right now?" Geralt asked, hesitating in a way that he hoped made an answer not necessary if Jaskier didn’t want to respond.

"Well, I don't know about 'all right,'" Jaskier huffed. His eyes were looking straight ahead. "Yennefer certainly settled some things. I'm not sure I'll be acting anytime soon. Or um, answering my phone calls. I've actually changed my number again. Remind me to give it to you."

"I'd like that." Geralt didn't mention that he never had Jaskier's number in the first place.

"It's not the press," he assured Geralt. "Just a lot of people trying to apologize or offering to support me. I'm talking to the same few who always believed me before everything, you know? Mostly just Priscilla and Yennefer right now."

Geralt didn't know. He was one of the people who...well, he's not sure that he believed the rumors. He wasn't someone to go around sets making friends regardless. But he had certainly heard the gossip, listened to it even.

He liked to think he made up for some of that but in actuality, Geralt knew it didn't matter. He'll always wish he had behaved differently when he first met Jaskier. He could have maybe had Jaskier in his life for so much longer. Could have supported him better during this shit time instead of just handing over Yennefer's card and begging her to take the case.

Geralt's mind was full of questions that he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask. He wasn't even sure he wanted the answers either. What was Jaskier going to do now? Geralt knew that one was selfish because he so wanted the answer to include him.

They worked in silence to get the horses ready but it wasn’t a silence that Geralt minded. Especially not when it was broken every moments by Jaskier giggling whenever Roach tried to interrupt his actions. He watched Jaskier get up onto Pegasus before following on Roach.

“You could always keep Pegasus—“

"I was thinking maybe I could board Pegasus here? If you've got the room—"

"Yes!" Geralt said immediately, cutting off what he had started saying as well as Jaskier's nervous rant. He didn't want Jaskier to be unsure of himself ever again. Not where Geralt was concerned. "You could come by whenever you'd like. Hopefully...often," he let himself say, voice growing stronger as the sentence went on.

"Yeah?" Jaskier asked. Geralt couldn't look away from how his teeth trapped his bottom lip between them. He was grateful that they were both on horses, otherwise Geralt wasn't sure he could have stopped himself from taking his thumb and slipping the abused lip to safety.  "I don't live too far away. I hadn’t realized.”

Geralt swallowed. He met Jaskier’s big blue eyes and knew his own were rounded in vulnerability. “Please."

Jaskier finally, finally, smiled at him in such a way that Geralt felt his chest loosen. Jaskier nodded and Geralt felt his heart beating in his chest again. He grinned back at Jaskier and felt something swirl around them.

“Stay for dinner? My brothers would love to meet you. My father too.” Geralt was horrified at himself. He hadn’t rambled on like this in years. He couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to stop himself, not when Jaskier was giggling and trying to hide it with a hand over his mouth. “My brother Eskel’s horse is the one I’m planning to pair Roach with but I’m making him grovel for it if you’d like to help.”

“That sounds nice,” Jaskier laughed openly at him. Geralt didn’t mind one bit. “I’d love to stay, thank you.”

“Thank you.”

Geralt couldn’t help but sneak peeks at Jaskier as they mounted. It seemed Jaskier didn’t mind, snorting each time he caught his former horse master. And then he did the same, with Geralt trying not to preen too much in response.

Jaskier told him about Priscilla and Yennefer meeting and how he couldn’t go to dinner with the two of them alone again, Geralt, please.

Geralt explained how the farm worked and how much he disliked being on set away from his brothers, even when the money was good. How mercilessly they had teased him about Jaskier when he had returned.

They rode through the ranch, to Eskel’s farm, and Geralt found that both of them were becoming freer with their laughs by each trot.

The two of them had a strange beginning and a tumultuous middle but perhaps, if Geralt and Jaskier worked for it, they could have a lovely end.

----------------

ao3 link here

[knight-queen]

Lunatic Parade Subaru Sakamaki–⁠ (Chapter 2)

[Chapter 1]

Place: ??? (BG black)

Yui: (nng…)

(Huh, what time is it…?)

(Last night, I was having difficulties in sleeping so I couldn’t sleep well…)

(...? Oh no...I can’t move my body…! Bu- but why…!?)

???: ….Zzz

Yui: (Someone...is here...!?)

Place: ホテル•モーントシュタイン  客室 / Hotel • Mortstein,Guest room

Yui: 一Su- Subaru kun!?

(Lemme think? Why’s he sleeping on my bed…!?)

(Could it be I accidentally fell asleep here…? ...Nope, it’s no way…)

Subaru: nnh…

Yui: (Wa- What should I do! He is about to wake up…!?)

*Subaru gets up*

Subaru: ….ah?

Yui: Err...that’s...Good morn- ning?

Subaru: ...Yeah….hm?

That’s, Yo- you!? Uwaa! Why are you here!? *blushing*

Didn’t I warn ye’ not to enter on the other side!?

*Subaru backs off*

Yui: You misunderstood! This is my portion…!

Subaru: Haah!? That’s not一

Yui: Then look! My Rosary is on this bed-side…

Subaru: ……

Yui: (What can I do, he isn’t saying anything…)

*Subaru stops blushing*

Subaru: Oh...I see now...yesterday…

Haah…

Yui: Subaru kun…?

Subaru: ...How’s your health today?

Yui: Eh…? Health? I haven’t felt anything recently though…

Subaru: ...Then, it’s good.

Yui: (Why does that mean…?)

Saying that...why were you sleeping on my bed-part…?

Subaru: ...kh...that’s ‘cuz…*blushing*

...Shuddup! That doesn’t even matter!

Yui: Eeh...but I’m curious…

(Because...he strictly prohibited not to enter on the other side…)

Subaru: ……

Yui: ……

Subaru: ...Tch! Aaah, damn it!

Got it, if you’ll be satisfied if I say it, then I’ll!!

...You’re...having a nightmare last night.

Yui: Eh…?

Subaru: When I was sleeping on my side, I heard you making painful noises and...

That’s why...I go there to check out your state.

...Was it my bad?

Yui: Oh…

(Last night, it wasn’t a dream that I felt my chest hurt…)

(Because of that, Subaru kun has...slept…)

You were worried for me, right?

Subaru: Wha...I didn’t really worry or something like…*blushing*

Yui: Fufu…

Subaru: Shit, don’t laugh!

*Screen shakes + Subaru gets closer*

Yui: Kyaa…!?

Don’t pull off my arm so suddenly…!

Subaru: Shuddup! I’m gonna sleep twice.

Yui: Eeeh…!?

Subaru: Just be quiet and embrace me…!

*Hugs her tighter*

Yui: (Oh come on. We must have to get up by right now...but…)

(Last night, I am sure he had been concerned for my health all the time…)

(Just a little bit...should be fine, no?)

Place: Glimmer Street  Main street / グリンマーストリート 表通り

Yui: The antique art dealer that you’ve mentioned yesterday...do you know where he is?

Subaru: Yeah...but saying the truth, I don’t wanna drag myself near him…

Yui: Is he such a weird person…?

Subaru: Weird you say...He’s a narrow-minded guy who always comes up with a disagreement for some reasons.

Even for the father, he is a damn crap old-uncle who always shows-off around. 

Yui: You didn’t have to explain it in such a cruel manner…

Subaru: Hmph…

Subaru: However...this old uncle is the only guy who can resist my father. 

By putting it that way, that guy is incredible, I think.

Yui: Oh...I see now…

(The one who can resist Karl-Heinz san...then he should be a pretty amazing right…)

(I wonder what kind of person he is…)

Subaru: I am sure he lives around this area…

Oh, here it is...let’s enter.

Place: Aizen Stahl, Antique Art Store/ アイゼン シュタール古美術商店 

Subaru: 一 Oi, Ye’ here?

Antique Art Dealer: Hmm…?

Ooh! You’re the youngest kid of the Sakamaki.

Yui: (This person is the artist of the antique…)

Antique Art Dealer: You were so small in the past…

Now you’ve grown up so much, like walking in the future carrying a woman huh.

...I think she looks like a young girl having a plugged-nose though.

Yui: Pu- pugged nose…!?

(How awful…)

Subaru: Tch…

...Don’t care about him that much. I told that he's narrow-minded and has a disagreement with everything, right?

Yui: Y- yes…

Antique Art Dealer: So, what’s up today? For you coming in this place is rather rare.

Did Karl-Heinz assign you any mission or something? Heheh…

Subaru: Ye’ aren’t even close, that old man has no connection with it.

...Do you know that guy called Earl Walter?

Antique Art Dealer: Hm….

Subaru: I had smashed several furnishings of his castle yesterday.

Antique Art Dealer: ...You did?

Subaru: Yeah.

Antique Art Dealer: Ho...you see...the furnishings of the Walter are…

Pfft….Hahahah! Oh my, I see! You breaked them huh!

That was the masterpiece thing you did!

Yaay, you did well, youngest kid of Sakamaki!

Yui: Eh…

(He seems to be laughing so much…!?)

Subaru: O- oi…?

Antique Art Dealer: What are you trying to hide? I strongly hate that guy.

Yui: Is that so…?

Antique Art Dealer: Yeah, absolutely. For telling the truth, he has stolen my treasures in the past.

Since then, I just continued hating and hating him…

For this, I become overjoyed hearing this, you know!

Yui: (I get it...so that was the reason…)

Antique Art Deal: I think I can repair the implements in his castle other than the goods in his treasure house.

Subaru: You mean it!?

Yui: That’s a relief….!

Antique Art Deal: Since you had blown up the hell out of that guy then...I shall help you.

Which stuff do you wanna repair?

Yui: A jar, sculpture and a painting…

Antique Art Dealer: I get the point. If that's the case then I can manage somehow I think. Hold on a sec.

*Walks away*

Yui: Looks like at the end we can come up with something, Subaru kun…!

Subaru: Yeah, I believe so…

*Pulling something big*

Antique Art Dealer: I appreciate your waiting. What about this thing?

These things are quite similar with those types of implements, right?

Subaru: Yeah, almost like that.

Yui: Then...if we give these to Earl Walter, he may pardon us…!

Subaru: Yup, we appreciate it. Then We’re takin’ out leav一

Antique Art Dealer: Hold ittt!

*Slaps Subaru*

Subaru: Ouch…! What the hell are ye’ doin’!?

Antique Art Dealer: Who said I’ll do these for free!

Subaru: Haah!? Did you say you’re gonn’ help us out!?

Antique Art Dealer: If you sound like having complaints then I won't hand these over to you.

Subaru: Ghh…

...Oh! Then I am gonna go to the human world and get some money from that old father.

That’s why...let us make an exchange with these.

Antique Art Dealer: Hmph, I don’t even slightly agree that Karl-Heinz will take out money for such things.

Subaru: ….kkh….

Yui: Then...what can we do for the charge…?

Antique Art Dealer: Let’s see…

If you can hand me three things that I’ll order, then I am gonna exchange these things.

Well, if I put in other others, those things should be close to my hand-maid things.

Yui: Hand-maid…

Subaru: Tch….annoying but...that’s the only way.

一一Understood. We’ll get them for you.

Antique Art Dealer: ...Told you, right? Then, let’s tie up our discussions here.

Yui: What should we search to begin with?

Antique Art Dealer: ...The head-mask of a clown. That should be an antique item.

Subaru: HAAH!? Why the heck you need such a thing!?

Antique Art Dealer: That’s because I want that, so you can’t blame it.

If you don’t want to then you don’t have to, ya’ know? Since I am not allowing exchange if so. 

Subaru: ...Told ye’ that I am gonna do it! I’m gonna search for that right away so wait!...What a shit!

Place: サントノレパーク通り /  Saint Honoré Park Street

Yui: It’s much crowded that I’ve thought…

Subaru: Ahh...ear sore…

Yui: (It's a parade after all so we have to endure these…)

一Ah! There is a clown right ahead! I think there’s gonna be a performance onward.

(It was a great decision for visiting the amusement park. Because, after it if we ask about the head-mask to the clown, then一)

Vampire Child A: Oh! It’s a clown! Hurry up and come 一!

Vampire Child B: Hold on一!

Clown A: There, there. Don’t push each other, okay~!

Yui: (Wah, it’s a huge crowd...I can’t get near him at all…)

Subaru: Oi, what are ye’ gonna do? There’re so many kids so we can’t get to him.

Yui: Umm...at this rate, the performance is gonna begin soon…

(What shall we do…)

Clown B: ...What shall we do?

Clown C: I can’t answer even if you ask...it’s a weekend after all…

Yui: (Hm? Over there are…)

Look, the clowns are getting prepared over there. Let’s talk with them.

I think they are having some kind of trouble…

*Walks over there*

Yui: Excuse us…

Clown B: Yes?

Yui: Did something happen? You look somehow troubled…

Clown C: Oh...that’s...the clown who was supposed to play main role in this performance,

Cannot show up for getting an injury…

Vampire Child A: So we can’t start!

Vampire Child B: I am getting sick of waiting!

Yui: (Ah...there children are…)

Clown A: ...Kh, We can’t buy ourselves time anymore! What should we do!?

Yui: Tell us! Is there anything we can do to help you?

Clown B: Eeeh!? But…

Subaru: Ha? Oi, what are ya’ sayi…

Clown C: No...maybe you can. If you lend us a hand in the fountain-show then…

...Certainly...if you do that much then...At this moment, that’s the only way.

Subaru: What’re ye’ thinking? It’s now way...we can help ‘em!

Yui: Sorry for deciding all of these even if you’re refusing to….

But, if we help, then we can have a talk with them as early as possible…

Subaru: ………

Clown A: Can you please do it for us?

Subaru: ...Certainly...we won’t have a delay talking with ‘em if we do so…

...Understood, we’ll do it.

Clown C: That’ll be a great help! But...we’re lacking time so, please get ready right away.

Yui: Yeah…!

*After a moment*

Clown A: Alright, dear people! Thank you so much for your long wait!

Clown B: After a moment, we’re going to show everyone in a fantasy world.

Yui: (Aight...let’s do my best…!)

→Game 

Words Subaru said in the game 一

What're you doing? Get started.

Looks like we’re done.

If you win 一

*Audiences’ claps *

Yui: (Have we done it...perfectly…?)

Vampire Child A: Ohh! Wonderful!

Vampire Child B: The fountain-show was so incredible, right…!

Clown A: Thank you very much! You succeed so well!

Yui: Really….!? We did it, Subaru kun!

*Yui hugs Subaru*

Subaru: Uwaah…!?

*Fades to CG*

Yui: (What a relief...we get that right…!)

Subaru: O- oi! Lemme go!

Yui: Eh?

Vampire Child A: Look! It’s a couple, a couple!!

Vampire Child B: Right~! A lovely-dovely one~!

Yui: ...kh…!

(I was so happy that I….!)

Yui: Ah, Subaru kun, that’s...err, I didn’t mean to do it…!

Vampire Child B: Couple~! Couple~!

Subaru: Tch…! Ya’ll are being damn noisy!

Vampire Child A: Uwaa! We got him mad! Let’s escape!!

*Run*

Subaru: Fuck…!

Yui: (Uuh...and also, what was I doing….so embarrassing….!)

*CG Fades*

Yui: S- sorry, I did something weird so suddenly…!

Subaru: Geez…

Clown C: Phew, thanks to you two, the show has ended up smoothly.

Furthermore, you absolutely deserve larger congrats than I’d expected!

Clown B: Honestly, thank you a lot!

Yui: (I’m glad that we’ve come out handy to them.)

Clown A: 一Once again, we’re expressing our gratefulness for supporting us.

Clown B: As a thank you, please recommend to us what can we give you as a present.

Yui: Err...Actually, if you could manage us a thing that we have been searching…

Subaru: 一 This one. Can you recall seeing something like this?

Clown C: This is…

Yui: (Ah...that photo was…)

Subaru: It’s a head-mask used by a clown. If you have it, then please give it to us.

Clown A: Oh...it looks like an old-modeled head-mask. I hope it is left out in the warehouse...

However, you have helped us so much after all, so we’ll search up the warehouse for you.

Yui: You mean it!? Thank you…!

Clown A: Then, we’re gonna go there to search….can we request you to wait here for a while?

Yui: We’re counting on you!

*Goes away*

Yui: That’s good right, Subaru kun…!

Subaru: If they find it, then yes…

Yui: (...Looks like we’re having a freetime. What can we do…)

Oh...tell me Subaru kun. We’re having some time so let’s play something cool?

Subaru: Huh?

Yui: It’s boring if we just wait here plus…

Subaru: ...What do you wanna ride?

Yui: Err...let’s see….Oh, what about Merry-Go-Round?

Subaru: HAAAH!? Which fool is gonna ride such a childish thing!?

Yui: Ah…

(So we can’t huh...I really wanted to ride something together…)

Subaru: ……..

Tch…

*Walks away*

Yui: Subaru kun…?

Subaru: ...What’re ye’ standing like a statue for? Hurry up.

Yui: Eh...hurry up but why…

Subaru: Huh...you wanna ride, no? Come along before I change my mood to ride.

Yui: ...Mhm!

*After a while*

Yui: Haa, it was fun…!

Subaru: Which side was fun….such stuff was just embarrassing! *blushing*

For starters...You ended up choosing that horse-drawn vehicle…

For making me ride on like a clerk...of that horse…!

If ye’ make me do so next time, then I’ll blow ye’ up…!

Yui: (Certainly it was embarrassing of two of us riding together but…)

I enjoyed riding with you, thank you for that.

Subaru: …ngh…*blushed*

Well...if you’d enjoyed it then it’s okay but….I won’t gonn’ face such a ride next time!

Clown A: 一Sorry for making you wait!

Yui: Oh, you are…

Subaru: You’ve found that?

Clown A: It was...expectedly way much old, so it wasn’t left in our warehouse.

Subaru: Haah!?

Yui: S- such…!

Clown A: However, if I take the correct conjecture then you may find it in the dress shop of this town.

Yui: Dress shop…

(Then we should go there I think.)

Thanks a lot for giving us valuable information. We’re going to that shop then.

Clown A: Yup. Take care…!

Place: Glimmer Street, Aizen back street

Subaru: 一Where can we find that dress shop?

Yui: Umm...according to the map we received earlier, that should be around here.

Right ahead of that crowd, I guess…?

Subaru: Crowd….I’m sick of that.

Yui: Ahaha, you’re right…

(By the way, I wonder if it’s just my imagination to have a bad feeling about it…)

Place: Dress Shop /ドレスショップ

Yui: ………

Subaru: ………

Why is it crowded here too…!

Yui: Y- yes…

(The bad-feeling that I was having was true after all…!)

Umm...excuse me. Anything going on here?

Vampire Woman A: Yeah, there’s going to be a fashion show.

Yui: Fashion show!?

If the fashion is gonna start then I bet the workers in this shop are busy…

Subaru: Ahh...crowds are annoying too. So, let’s wait until it’s over.

Yui: Right...let’s wait then…

(Fashion show of the Demon World huh, I am bit interested一)

???: 一Ah! Hey you there!

Subaru: Aah?

Yui: (Hm…?)

???: I want you to follow me!

*She pulls Subaru*

Subaru: Aaah? What’s so sudden!?

Dress shop owner: I am the owner of this shop. I’ll explain everything inside that room. Anyway, come!

Subaru: Oi, hold it!

Yui: Ah, wait….!

(What on this earth going on…? I should just follow them…)

Place: Dressing Room / 試着室

Yui: (She has brought us very inside this shop…)

Dress shop owner: My apologies for bringing you here so suddenly but please get changed into this costume.

Subaru: Haah!? You’re doing these so abruptly! Why the heck is going on!

Dress shop owner: ...Right, I was forcing you way much…

For here on, we’re going to perform a fashion show here, however…

It was frustrating that there wasn’t a single model out there to wear my masterpiece costume.

I was able to find substitutes from the time being but none of them were perfectly suitable.

However, in the meantime you show up! You’re an ideal model for this.

Yui: (Subaru kun….a model…)

Subaru: Stop fussing around! Who’s gonna do such a shit!

Dress shop owner: No refusal! I’ll make you to be the model by any means!

I bet you’re gonna be pleased with the costume that I created.

Subaru: Hmph, what an absurd one. Oi, we’re going back.

Yui: Ah, but….

(We must have to ask them about that head-mask…)

(Above that…)

*BGM stops*

(I am very interested in seeing Subaru kun participating in the fashion show…!)

Tell me, Subaru kun...it’s a great offer so please participate in it?

Subaru: AAAAH!? You’re also saying these!?

Yui: ….Please do!

Plus...please lend me your ear a bit?

*Subaru gets closer + Yui whispers*

Yui: You see, it may be the right chance for us to ask them about the head-mask…!

Subaru: ...gh…

Dress shop owner: I have no clue what you’re mumbling for…

But I am begging you too. Because you can be the supreme model for sure.

Subaru: ………

….Lend that thing. I’m gonna wear it.

*Starts putting on*

Yui: Subaru kun…!

Dress shop owner: Woo! Thanks a lot! Then come here please!

Yui: (I am looking forward to the upcoming…!)

Place: Glimmer Street  Main street / グリンマーストリート 表通り

*Shutter sounds of taking photos*

Yui: (Every single model has so cool styles. I can’t help but to admire them…)

(Subaru kun’s turn hasn’t come yet…)

Dress shop owner: Alright, so our last display will be this costume of our pride!

Yui: (Ah, he shows up…!)

*Louder Applause + Shutters* 

Monologue一

The appearance of Subaru who modelled was looking so cool that anyone’d get caught in his enchantment.

...It was rather a displeasing mood for me though.

He was in an unusual appearance or for something else, I was feeling like he was refreshed.

The shop-owner who stood by this Subaru kun 一一

She is so beautiful too.

I was just curious that...two of them who were getting captured in photos taken by others, what conversations they were having while having short distance in between them.

End of Monologue

*Shutters*

Dress shop owner: The visitors are congrating us so much…!

Come on, you also shake your hand with these audiences.

*Swats her hand*

Subaru: 一Don’t you freely touch my hand.

||気安い means actually friendly or familliarly. However, I thought ‘freely’ would go smoothly with the sentence. However, the more literal concept would be “Don’t touch my hand treating so friendly / familiar with me.

Yui: (Ah…! Subaru kun just shook off the shop-owner’s hand.)

Subaru: I’m engaged. Hand-shake with someone else.

||Spoilers! 予約済み means engage / reservation. I am pretty much sure he meant engaged. Because it reflects a clue about ‘engaging’ to the dress-shop owner. :p But some translators may also translate like “I am reserved here. Touch other else” x’D However it would sound weird or logicless since ‘reservation’ has nothing to do with ‘touching hand’. The next sentence, it makes it more obvious :’)

Dress shop owner: Oh my…

...Fufu, it’s that girl over there huh.

Subaru: ...Hmph.

Yui: (I hope he won’t fight over this time…)

*After a moment*

Yui: 一Subaru kun!

Subaru: ...Oh, you come huh.

Yui: Oh...you have got back to normal appearance huh.

Subaru: Absolutely! Who’d wear that damn cloth for a long time.

Yui: (I want to...tell him about my impressions of that show...How should I describe that?)

→Selection

面白かった / You looked interesting

かっこよかった / You looked cool (+correct)

Yui: Subaru kun, you looked so cool!

Subaru: I- is that so? I haven’t really done anything. *flushed*

Yui: It’s not like that. That costume also suited you pretty well and…!

Subaru: ...Thanks.

Dress shop owner: Thanks for the earlier. For you, we really hit a huge profit.

Subaru: I’d acted just as you said. This time, listen to our request.

Dress shop owner: What is it? It will be a pleasure to help you with anything I can.

Subaru: ...Have you seen something similar to this photo? We’re searching for that.

Dress shop owner: ...Oh, it’s inside our warehouse. I’m going to bring that so wait please.

*After a while*

Dress shop owner: 一I think it’s this one.

Yui: Yeah, it is!

Dress shop owner: No one has been using it since it was just left there...You can have it if you need it.

Yui: Thank you so much! We did it, Subaru kun!

Subaru: Hm...I have no clue what he's planning to do with this worn-out thing…

That’s fine. Let’s get back to that old uncle anyways!

Yui: Right. Ah, really thanks a lot!

Dress shop owner: Whether it’s useful to you or not comes first. If it’s possible then stop by here again.

Place: Aizen Stahl, Antique Art Store/アイゼン シュタール古美術商店 

Subaru: 一Here, ye’ haven’t gotten any complaints right!?

Antique Art Dealer: Oooh! This one indeed! I haven’t imagined you’d really give it to me.

Subaru: Geez, my head hasn’t just got that why do ya’ need such a thing.

But...with this we’re done with one of the assignments I hope.

Antique Art Dealer: Yeah, you sure did. I’ll count on you tomorrow as well.

Place: Diamante Fountain / ディアマンテ泉

Subaru: Haah...I’m tired…

Yui: The first day was tough…

Ah, I got churro from the Wagon. Wanna eat?

Subaru: Yeah….mmn…

...The saying that “Sweet things taste more tasty the time you’re tired”, not a lie after all…

Yui: Fufu…

(But, today we really had to face many things.)

(I hope we’ll be able to hold out tomorrow as well…)

Subaru: Don’t make such a depressed face…I’ll be with you.

Yui: Right…!

(That’s true, if Subaru kun’s with me then we’ll be fine…!)

(Alright, let’s do our best tomorrow!)

一The END of Chapter O2

[buckybabybaby]

Not So Bad

A/n: this is my one shot for @firefly-in-darkness's summer challenge. It's a couple of days late, I'm so sorry!! I wrote most of this in one go on Friday, which is the most I've written in months, so hopefully I can keep that up.

Proof read by way of a text-speech device.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/reader (gender neutral)

Word count: 1998

Warnings: none :)

Plot: stuck on a beach awaiting pick-up after a mission, you and Bucky have an interesting conversation. (Enemies to friends (to implied maybe lovers later))

Masterlist

*****

The steady lapping of the waves washing up onto the sand below is the only sound breaking the silence between you and Bucky. Seated at opposite ends of the last bench on the promenade, you are seriously considering typing up your notice the minute you get back home and walking away from The Avengers if this is the way you're going to be treated. Not only have you had to spend the last two weeks acting all lovey-dovey with Bucky for the sake of a mission, but now it's over you're stuck on a beach with him as you wait for a pick up. Because, apparently, a domestic flight back home would be too risky.

A light flickering in the distance catches your attention, and you raise your head to watch as the illuminations strung along the closest pier are extinguished one by one, until only the hazard warning at the very end remains lit, plunging the beach further into darkness.

“That'll be midnight then.”

It shouldn't, but Bucky's voice coming from beside you for the first time in hours makes you jump. Sitting up straighter, you attempt to hide your shock as you ask, “What will be?”

“The lights. The pier closes at midnight. I guess it's just you and me now.”

Looking away, you roll your eyes; this mission hasn't been easy for you, and you've had to hold yourself back from repeating that action many times during the last fortnight. Normally working with world-saving heroes is the dream job, but normally you're not sent out undercover with the formal Winter Soldier, forced to act like a honeymooning couple to infiltrate a people smuggling ring operating out of an exclusive Floridian beach resort. Though it wasn't hard to get people to talk and the mission was a success, you feel little joy in the outcome.

The reason is currently huffing next to you.

“Stop that!”

Bucky looks across at you, raising his eyebrows at your outburst. “Stop what?”

“Breathing so heavily!”

“Oh, you want me to stop breathing?”

“I wouldn't complain.”

“That'll be a first.”

Refusing to rise to the bait, you turn back to staring out to sea. How you survived pretending to be married to this man for fourteen long days, you may never know. Maybe you were an actor in another life, because every time you're alone with him it usually leads to petty squabbling, but you somehow managed to fool multiple people into believing that he was your 'amazing husband' who you were madly in love with.

To be fair to Bucky, he was very good at pretending too. The little glances and touches that made it convincing, the way he memorised your back story perfectly and never slipped up when questioned, how he succeeded to completely hide his disdain for you the whole time, it was all truly impressive. Even in private he didn't drop the act, on the slim chance of being caught out, leaving you flustered and confused.

Hence why you're sitting as far away as possible on this weather beaten bench.

As soon as the all clear had been given that you could go home, you couldn't get out of there fast enough, desperate to sleep in your own bed alone and not share one with the furnace in human form that is Bucky. Apart from the comment about the pier, he's been completely silent as you waited for the rescue boat to arrive, a jarring contrast to earlier in the day as you checked out of the hotel.

You don't like the way you miss his gentle hold and soft words. A fortnight living together has warped your emotions beyond recognition, and the return to normal life is most welcome.

From somewhere deep in the pile of luggage on the beach your phone buzzes twice, and you jump up to grab it, groaning in frustration at the message it contains.

Bucky senses the cause. “Delayed?”

“Hmm.”

“Cool.”

He says it so casually and it's like you snap. It's been ages since the two of you have been alone without the threat of eavesdroppers, all that pent up tension exploding in a mini rant.

“Well it might be cool for you, but excuse me for being annoyed. Not everyone wants to be stuck on a beach in the middle of the night.”

He shrugs, unaffected. “You kept saying you wanted to go to the beach.”

“Yeah, but not at midnight! And certainly not with you!”

“Wow, ouch.”

The genuine hurt on his face surprises you. He has always given as good as he gets, never seeming fazed by the verbal abuse you throw his way. “What, Bucky? Don't act like we get along. You hate me!”

If anything, the look of hurt deepens at your words. “Hate? I don't hate you.” He rises to stand with you on the sand. “Y/N? Is that what you think?”

You can't keep eye contact. “Why would I think anything else? We can't spend ten minutes together without arguing.”

“It's just friendly bickering.”

“Friendly?” Scoffing loudly, you walk back up to the bench, flopping down in a slouched position and resigning yourself to the wait. “If that's your idea of friendly I worry about your actual friends.”

Bucky's stood frozen where you left him but you pay him no mind. As the clouds clear above and the stars become visible, the temperature starts to drop. Shivering, you curl into a ball on the seat, too lazy to search through your suitcase for warmer clothes.

“Here.”

Blinking, you're met with Bucky's outstretched hand and the offering of his coat.

“What.” You say flatly.

“So you don't freeze,” He explains, shaking the jacket a little in your face.

You snort at his act of chivalry. “Oh, please. It's okay, the shows over. You don't need to pretend any more, we haven't got an audience here.”

He visibly holds his tongue. “Will you just take it? Stop being so stubborn.”

“Well, what about you? Don't you need it?”

“Super soldier, doll. We tend to run hotter.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” You mutter under your breath, not quietly enough.

“Oh, you did? Must have kept you nice and warm huh?”

The smirk you know so well is back and you fight your smile at the familiar tone in his voice.

“More like sleeping with a damn heater. You're lucky I didn't kick you out every night.”

“As if you could.”

“You know I could.”

He nods in agreement, remembering all the times you've beaten him in combat training. “Suppose you could've. But you didn't. That's something.”

Placing the jacket over your shoulder when you sit up, Bucky pulls it round to the front to fasten the top button, allowing you to do the rest yourself as he takes his place back on the bench. You are much closer now as you chose to sit in the middle of the seat, but you stay put as it feels rude to move away when he's been so nice.

The air is once again full of only the sounds of nature. It was true you had wanted to visit the beach during this mission, the long stretches of white sand calling your name from the hotels bedroom window, but you hadn't got the chance as the suspects you were tailing stayed around the bar and pool. As you breathe in the salty air, you decide the pain of the last fortnight was worth it for this moment, even in the middle of the night and without the longed for ice cream.

Glancing over to Bucky's relaxed form, you study his profile. Whilst you've seen it a lot recently, it still shocks you how defined his face is and the way his hair always seems to fall perfectly, no matter the time of day or weather. Even his early morning bed-hair could be classed as a tousled style others would take hours to achieve, and you can't believe you've never noticed how attractive he is. And it's not just his looks, if the way he acted his role is anything to go by. This mission has taught you one thing; who ever Bucky does end up marrying will be the luckiest person in the world.

You think of your previous conversation, still lost. Since your first meeting it's been the same, sharp tongues flinging insults at each other whenever you meet, and the others in the tower have learnt to avoid the two of you when you get going. Does Bucky really think that that's all been in jest?

Eventually, the curiosity gets the better of you. “Do you really not hate me?”

He takes a few seconds to reply, not looking at you as he says quietly, “No, of course not.”

“Okay.” You don't bring up your regular fights as evidence to the contrary, instead asking, “And you actually enjoy my company?”

“Why do you think I volunteered for this?”

“Volun-what?” That really wasn't what you expected when you started on these questions. You stare at him wide-eyed with disbelief, sure you've misunderstood. “I thought we were assigned? I definitely didn't choose to be here.”

“You were assigned. They thought you'd blend in well with the crowds here, they just needed someone to be your husband and... Here we are.”

“Huh.” You blow out a breath, overwhelmed.

“I thought it would be a way to spend time together without the usual spats.”

“That's an extreme way to spend time with someone.”

He sighs. “I know.”

“But why? With me?”

“'Cause you're fun to be with?”

“Are you telling me or asking?”

“Telling. I want to be better, nicer to you, but any time we're together, you get all defensive, and I can't help returning the sentiment.”

“So, it's my fault?”

“That's not-” He cuts himself off, stopping the argument before it can begin. “I'm sorry.”

“No, I'm sorry.” You smile at him for the first time. “You're going to have to give me a while to get used to this. I'm finding it kinda hard to believe you don't actually hate my guts.”

His own smile drops. “I'm so sorry.” Dragging a hand through his hair, he gazes at you intensely. “This is... I honestly had no idea you thought our arguments were serious. I thought-” He swallows, a self conscious grin tugging at his mouth. “Is it awful that I thought we were flirting?”

Your cheeks heat up, but you shake your head to reassure him. Thinking back, you can see why he believed that. There is a fine line between hate and love, and it makes sense now why you sought him out so often, why you gravitated to him even when it would be so easy to avoid contact, and why, if you're being honest with yourself, you didn't despise the last two weeks at all.

“So, where do we go from here?”

“First, we go home.” He gestures to the vessel you hadn't noticed bobbing in the surf, waving at the captain as the speed boat is launched to retrieve you and your belongings. “And then? Whatever you want.”

“Can we start just being proper friends?”

He reaches for your hand to help you up. “I'd like that.”

Stretching, you follow him across the beach in the gloom. Picking up your holdall and rucksack on the way, you dump them into the bottom of the boat and climb in, sitting close together on the narrow bench. The crew shout at each other over the engines roar once you're both safely on the yacht, but you tune them out, choosing to stay on deck and admire the lights along the coast. Bucky joins you after you tire of his hesitation and tug him down into the seat to you. 

As the boat starts the journey back north he glances at you through the spray of salt water, the small smile you share feels so much bigger, and your letter of resignation couldn't be further from your mind.

[changeling-rin]

Hi Rin, TheChargingRhino here. If they guys could have legendary/mythical Pokémon, what would they choose? (Can also answer for the sequel Links if you want)

My only question here is: do the Ultra Beasts count as Legendary?  The Internet  says yes, so apologies in advance if that wasn't part of the original question!

Gen gets a Latias, because red Loftwing, red bird-like dragon, it fits and I will not take no for an answer.  Plus, Healing Wish/Recover, she’s a Psychic type, they get a lot of access to healing moves and for the medic of the group I think that works very well.  (Also yes, Mega is an option.)

Speck would have a Shaymin, I think.  Small and cute but wow can it make you hurt it you don’t pay attention to it.  (Yes, Forme Change is a thing)

The Four are... tricky, as they always are.  I think I’d give them Deoxys, because I think the options with the Formes gives them the best equivalent for their normal M.O.

I’m gonna split Mask and Ocarina here, regardless of the Meloetta that I said they already have.  Ocarina probably gets a Celebi, because Time Travel, and also because cute and mostly innocent but still dangerous if you don’t pay attention.  Mask, on the other hand, gets Dialga, again because Time Travel and also because it will wreck you if you don’t take it out quickly enough.

Dusk would probably end up with a Zamazenta, because wolf, and also because protective instincts say ‘Shield’ to me more than ‘Sword’.

RGBV can each have a Tapu, because I’m original like that.  Green gets Tapu Bulu, Blue gets Tapu Fini, Red gets Tapu Lele, and Vio gets Tapu Koko.  

Lore is also very tricky, honestly, but I think I’d either give him an Ultra Beast, or Hoopa.  Hoopa because it’s a complete prankster and they’d get along splendidly, or an Ultra Beast because they function just a little bit to the left of normality.  But probably Hoopa, because I also like the concept of Hoopa Unbound and there being this underlying terror beneath the prankster shell that only their enemies get to see.

Realm... is a lot more trouble than I thought he’d be, and since I can’t seem to peg him for any single Legendary I’m going to give him the Lake Trio.  Uxie, Azelf, and Mesprit did not know what they were getting themselves into with this boy, but at least there’s three of them to teleport around looking for him.  Good thing they’re Psychic.

Sketch seems like a Jirachi boy, for some reason.  I know Jirachi has very little to do with paint or any of that but neither does any other Legendary so shush.

Wind is thankfully easy and can have Kyogre.  Yes, Primal is an option.  All the weather manipulation!

Steam is surprisingly tricky?  I really want to give him a ghost, but I also really want to give him a steel.  Ghost Zelda versus Spirit Train.  Hmm.  I think... ghost, probably, so heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy look who’s got a Giratina!

Shadow is not hard, at all.  He gets Darkrai, they’re both hopelessly misunderstood, a bit spooky, but so very cool.

Oni... gets an Eternatus.  Because those stat totals are ridiculous and also I’m pretty sure this is the only Legendary with the reputation of literally destroying the world, which I’m thinking puts these two on pretty even footing!

Rune can have Cresselia, because she has the oh-so-convenient association of memory and mind-healing and really, sometimes this stuff just decides itself.

RSE can have Entei, Suicune, and Raikou respectively.  Seems to work better than any other Trio.

Lux gets Mewtwo, probably because their combined lack of chill is amazing.  He’s angry, Mewtwo is angry, they’re perfect for each other.

Lyric... would have gotten Meloetta had I not already assigned it.  Gah.  But as a secondary choice... I dunno, Victini?  Meloetta just fits him so perfectly.  I think I may need to redesign Mask and Ocarina’s sub for their magical instrument of reality bending... there certainly can’t be two Meloettas.

And lastly, my OC boys!  Codex, I’m gonna give a Calyrex, because look at the size of that noggin there’s no way it isn’t obscenely intelligent.  And Wraith gets a Marshadow, because small and cute but unexpectedly spooky, until it turns out that it can hit like a tank and then it’s just all the way spooky.

[tothedarkdarkseas]

do you think that murdoc takes care of / reassures 2d if 2d comes needing it? sort of the opposite of what happened in "i couldn't feel, so i would touch" where murdoc goes to him. murdoc wanting to nurse a dazed 2d back to health like in phase 0/1. a desire to control this knocked-out boy making him wait hand-and-foot on "bad days" where 2d is a lot slower than usual. getting 2d to rely on only him for emotional comfort / "rescuing." the slight humiliation of it all. 2d, stubbornly unaware

Hmm, this has turned out surprisingly difficult for me to answer! I’d probably do best to break it down: does Murdoc ever look after Stu when he’s utterly blitzed and take some enjoyment from the lack of walls they have in that state? Sure, I’d say that sounds likely! Would I say that Murdoc nurses Stu to health compassionately, or has a desire to be in control of Stu? Not especially, no-- purely personal opinion, of course, but in my “version” of the characters I think this would be assigning a bit too much competence to Murdoc, who is admittedly a much more functioning addict, but that’s... a very relative definition of functional. Additionally, any measure of pride and shame only really factors into the conversation once they have that chest-bumping, hostile relationship established; what I mean by that is that I don’t think Murdoc took any glee or even any particular interest in caring for Stu during his coma or directly after, because Stuart Pot at that time was no one to him, so I don’t think he’s been a historically good caretaker (for what that’s worth.) Despite his grandstanding and attempted (at times semi-successful!) puppetmastery I don’t really think it’s quite true of Murdoc’s personality to simply want control over another human being full stop. That’s the fun of him really, I think Murdoc has less desire to take the wheel and more desire to have the wheel taken from him while he kicks and spits and makes demands about where the van will go. I think it is indeed that conflict between how much he wants to be controlled butting up against his headstrong, stubborn ego that makes a relationship like he and Stu’s so appealing to him, so full of peaks and valleys as he vacillates from desire to be shamed to sincerely wanting to throttle the prick. Anywho, all to say that yeah, the timeline’s important, so it’s good you clarified that! If there is an established pattern of Stu disliking, distrusting, and talking down to Murdoc, I could then see some enjoyment Murdoc may get in rubbing that uncharacteristic compliance in his face a bit (even if said face is melted at the moment.) I wouldn’t say Murdoc is ever a very affectionate caretaker though, and I don’t personally see him reassuring Stu in a particularly kind way or feeding him affirmations, and I don’t imagine he sees (or even wishes to see) himself as Stu’s hero or rescuer.

I guess he may take some pleasure in propping Stu’s ego up if Stu were having a particularly bad trip or downswing, if he can remove any charity from it in his mind. It may be easier very early on in their relationship to tell Stuart that he’s brilliant when Stu won’t remember it, but I’m a bit too prickly and hard-hearted to see that as like... the fic-fodder of genuine romantic confessions, and more like Murdoc swallowing a hard lump in his throat, staring too openly at Stu’s mouth and jaw, only saying something flattering if he’ll enjoy mentally flogging himself for it later.

Sorry if I misunderstood your question! I’m a little scattered today.

[nadziejastar]

Isa Was Very Sweet (My Theory About the WINNER Stick)

“From where I stood, the only thing you drew was a big L on your forehead for ‘Loser,’ ‘Lame,’ ‘Laughable’…What did you expect?” Isa said with a roll of his eyes. Ven was feeling the same way.

“Wha—? Isn’t this the part where ya cheer me up or somethin’? ‘You’re just havin’ a bad day,’ or…‘That’s what you get for pullin’ your punches!’ Some friend,” Lea whined, turning toward him.

“Oh, you mean I was supposed to lie,” Isa retorted.

The two of them seemed to be enjoying themselves. Ven was just a tad jealous.

I hate that Isa’s personality seemed to be so misunderstood just because he had a sarcastic sense of humor. Instead of recognizing that he was just playing around, he was apparently seen by much of the fandom as simply a mini Saïx who is cold-hearted and callous toward his friend. I’ve seen people really judge him negatively all because of this one scene. But I think there was evidence in the story that this scene in particular was going to get a twist so that we saw how sweet of a character Isa really was.

“Finally! We got ’em all!” Sora’s Keyblade descended upon the last Dusk.

He heard someone applauding.

“All in a day’s work!” He couldn’t help striking a pose as he turned. But instead of an awestruck spectator, he found someone from the organization.

“Impressive.” Saïx kept on clapping dryly as he strode closer to the trio, who were still poised to fight.

“What do you want?!” Sora demanded.

Saïx paused to speak deliberately. “Have you seen a man named Axel? I believe he’s here somewhere…”

I think Lea did praise Isa and applaud him when he got better at fighting (Fight fight fight). But I think in this specific scene, Saïx was remembering Isa praising Lea. I would bet that Isa was clapping for him in the past, too. 

“You did amazing, Xion,” said Roxas. “You deserve a little something extra.”

“Extra…?” Xion echoed in surprise.

“Yeah. I know a good spot. But first, the icing on the cake.” He gave her a grin. “Wait right here.”

And this praise was connected to the WINNER stick. I think it was probably Isa who first told Lea that sea-salt ice cream was his reward for doing such a good job and I have a theory for exactly how that happened.

“Your performance was quite forced,” Saïx muttered, noticing Axel’s gazing at him.

“What is this about?” asked Axel, cracking his neck.

“I’m not all that impressed.”

Sensing an incoming lecture, Axel started walking away. “Well, I’m off to Agrabah. I’ll be back.” His figure vanished into a corridor.

I think Isa praising Lea was what Saïx was referring to when he said Axel’s “performance” wasn’t impressive on Day 96. He was referring to how Isa used to be impressed with Lea and wanted to give him a reward. But Saïx isn’t impressed.

“I checked that place out yesterday, and that Heartless looked pretty darn tough. I reckon it might be impossible for him to get that thing on his own, hmm ~”

“Are you trying to tell me to let them go together?” asked Saïx in a disagreeable tone.

“I’ll go to Agrabah. Then there’s no problem, right?” Axel’s voice was a little deeper.

“Can you really defeat the Heartless in Agrabah?”

“It’ll be fine. I’m tough, you know.”

“But, you can’t collect its—”

“I’ll just keep the thing in check for now,” Axel interrupted.

That’s why Axel was so sad on Day 96. Saïx was tarnishing one of his most precious memories of Isa acting very sweet and cute. I think Lea saved Isa from a bad situation similar to the one with Roxas and Xion. Lea might have taken on a really strong Heartless for him. Isa was really worried that he’d never see Lea again. 

It’s possible that this is the last time I’ll see Saïx, Axel thought, as he looked at Saïx, who was sitting down, from behind. 

“We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?”

Ignoring Axel’s words, Saïx continued typing on the keyboard.

“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saïx finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. Cause I’m tough.” 

“Saying stupid things,” said Saïx, smiling for just a second at Axel, puffing out his chest.

It was a very precious memory, which is why it was what Axel chose to say to Saïx thinking it might be the last thing he ever said to him.

Just then, Roxas could hear clapping coming from somewhere.

“Yo! Roxas. You haven’t changed! Fight fight fiiight!”

Roxas turned, and standing there was… Axel.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Axel walked casually towards him. “What’s the matter? You look kind of dazed there,” grinned Axel, and he laughed, just like always.

“…They said all the members who went to Castle Oblivion got annihilated…”

Axel stuck out his chest. “Well, I’m pretty tough.”

But something feels off, thought Roxas. Besides, Axel isn’t as strong as he says he is—I think.

“You had me worried,” he admitted.

I think Axel was thinking about that specific situation on Day 71 when he got back from Castle Oblivion. It’s why he didn’t want to report in right away and why he was annoyed that Saïx had no words of appreciation for him. Axel also was upset that Saïx didn’t seem like he was worried about him.

“All I did was find a place to send everyone who was getting in the way.”

And yet, Axel couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his response. “Well, nice to know where I stand.”

He said it with a grin, but the hint of a frown tugged at the scar between Saïx’s brows. Apparently, the joke wasn’t very funny. “You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

Were you worried I wouldn’t? Axel almost said, but he didn’t want to deal with putting him in an even fouler mood. Disgust and rage seemed to linger closest to the surface of Saïx’s memories.

Lea survived but he probably got his butt whooped in the process. Afterwards, he was puffing out his chest, acting like it was no big deal. Isa knew Lea was putting on a performance to show off for him. But he wanted to make Lea happy. So he started clapping for him and praising him, telling him how impressive he was because he knew Lea would like it. Lea probably knew Isa was laying it on thick for him and they both were having a lot of fun.

“These Heartless here are the last, I think.”

“Xion, fight fight fight~” Axel clapped, as she turned around.

“What are you doing?”

“What am I doing… I’m praising your hard work.”

“You’re weird,” said Xion, laughing.

Just then, Axel suddenly felt like Xion’s face had blurred, and he rubbed his eyes.

“Is something wrong, Axel?”

“Nah…” For a second, the Xion I saw there had the face of… Naminé.

This dialogue takes place on Day 117 which was about special Nobodies. Xigbar made fun of Demyx for being useless right before Saïx assigned Axel and Xion their mission. Axel was clapping for Xion and praising her. And Axel saw Xion as Naminé as soon as he did. It definitely indicates that he was remembering something in that moment. 

“Sounds like you earned yourself the treat,” said Axel.

Not wasting any more time, Roxas dug in. Axel pocketed the stick from his own ice cream.

Axel and Xion specifically discussed their memories after the mission. Axel seemed sad and said his memories never did him any good. Xion pocketed her shell and Axel pocketed his ice cream stick. Maybe he got a WINNER that day. I think he probably did, but he never told Roxas about it. It just made him sad.

Axel: That’s one of the things that makes the Organization members special. Unlike lesser Nobodies, we remember who we were.

When Axel mentioned that the organization were special Nobodies it was on Day 95 ~Nobodies~. They were special because they remembered their past. This was brought up while they were discussing how Demyx was not really good at fighting and kinda useless. Axel was pretty defensive of him. He said his memories were just baggage here, too. 

Saïx: Axel aside, it would break our hearts to hear something happened to you.

Donald: Hearts? You don't have any hearts!

Saïx: True, we don’t have hearts. But we remember what it was like. That’s what makes us special.

When Saïx mentioned special Nobodies in KH2, he was applauding Sora after he finished off a group of Heartless. Right after Saïx got done clapping, he said he remembered what having a heart was like. In the manga, Saïx got very upset when Sora said he couldn’t be worried because he had no heart.

When I’m smiled at with such a happy look… I feel uncomfortable.

“Maybe Xion wouldn’t have been able to make her Keyblade come back, if it weren’t for you, Axel,” Roxas added.

“Thank you, Axel,” they said, in unison.

This is why… this feeling is so hazy. Scratching his head unconsciously, Axel looked away from the two of them.

“Then how about a sea salt ice cream?” Axel asked, his back still turned.

“Huh?” Roxas asked.

This was Axel compromising, grudgingly. Don’t think I can take any more of those thank-yous.

“Then we call it even,” replied Axel. Roxas and Xion looked at each other.

I think Lea did something dangerous for Isa. Then Isa probably wanted to find a way to show his appreciation for Lea. Axel couldn’t stand Roxas and Xion thanking him because it made him remember how much Saïx had changed.

Xigbar, standing and watching their exchange with his arms folded, opened his mouth. “You’ve been working really well lately haven’t you, Poppet.”

“…Thank you,” Xion replied in a small voice.

“Thank you? Why do you have to say thanks?

“Well, you were praising me, weren’t you? Was I wrong?”

“Haha… Yeah, I guess you could see it like that.” He pressed his hand to his mouth and snickered.

“Did I say something funny?”

“No, no. You’re fine.”

Xion looked up at Xigbar, anxiously. Beside them, Saïx didn’t show any notable reaction. He just watched.

This scene is from Day 119, a few days later. This day was about how important things are a weakness. Xigbar was making fun of Saïx and I think it involved the memory Axel had when he was fighting with Xion. Lea probably wondered why Isa had to thank him when they were friends. Friends help each other when they’re in trouble. Xigbar apparently saw this memory and thought it was hilarious. The thought of Xigbar knowing that Lea and Isa had a cute little thing for each other really amuses me. After this scene, Saïx hated Xion and constantly berated her and called her a failure.

“Huh? Why am I a slap on the wrist?” Roxas asked.

“Well, they know how much I hate babysitting.” Axel let out an exaggerated sigh.

“Gee, thanks,” huffed Roxas.

“Sheesh. Would it kill them to give me a day off? I’m exhausted,” Axel whined. “Look at these bags under my eyes. I need my beauty sleep.”

In the novel and the game, Axel made a point of complaining that he wasn’t allowed to rest for even a day after coming back from Castle Oblivion. 

Axel: Didn't take 'em long to give me more work. Where's my vacation? Sheesh.

And he said this on Day 150, the day after he returned from Castle Oblivion the second time.

Axel barely slept a wink thanks to all the thoughts turning in his head. He scowled at the throbbing pain in his temples. These sleep deprivation headaches were awful.

Rather than going back to sleep and getting a lecture, he went to the Grey Area before anyone else and claimed the sofa to keep thinking.

The Organization tried to annihilate either Roxas or Xion. I’m thinking about what I should do, what I want to do. I want to know a way to save both Roxas and Xion. I want to respect both their wishes. I wondered all night whether there’s really and truly no way to do that—and, of course, I couldn’t find the answer. 

He was constantly sleep-deprived as he tried to find a way to save Roxas and Xion while still respecting their wishes.

“Get up.”

“Just five more minutes…,” Axel mumbled.

“No. Get up—now.” The voice was distinctly annoyed.

Axel relented and opened his eyes. “What are you even doing in here?”

Saïx was standing next to his bed, as irritated as one might have guessed from his voice. Axel hadn’t been so rudely awakened since before turning into a Nobody.

In the manga, Saïx decided to show his appreciation by telling Axel to take a nice long rest after coming back from Castle Oblivion (though it was just talk). I’m sure all of this was referring to a specific event in their past.

Every time he tried to wake up, all Axel could think was how badly he wanted to go back to sleep—although he was getting enough rest. He just wished he could have a day to himself and do nothing but sleep. It was probably some remnant of his human memories.

Axel’s sleep deprivation was a pretty big thing and definitely dated back to his human days. Apparently, all Lea wished for back then was a day all to himself to do nothing but sleep.

“Al said he wouldn’t rely on magic, right? I want to fix it for him, but you gotta respect your friend’s wishes.”

“Your friend’s… wishes…” 

So, even if you mean for something to be for your friend’s sake, their wishes are still more important?

I think that was probably what Axel was thinking about on Day 75, which was a few days after he returned from Castle Oblivion. I think Isa was so grateful to Lea that he wanted to grant him his wish. Lea would have a whole day to himself where he could do nothing but rest. Isa would handle himself.

“That Genie person seemed very worried about that Al person. And then he said that you have to respect your friend’s wishes. I guess you can’t just jump in and do everything for them, even if you want to.” Xion bit her ice cream, swinging her feet.

Axel leaned his head to one side. “Your friend’s wishes, huh…”

It feels like I have heard that before, a long time ago, when I was human.

Lea was really worried if Isa would be okay on his own and probably refused. But Isa insisted and urged him to respect his wishes. He really wanted to thank Lea and let him get a day off to sleep. Lea worked so hard and worried so much for his sake, after all. So, Lea reluctantly did what Isa asked.

“Did you think of a way?” Roxas asked, happily. Beside him, Xion stayed silent, face hidden in her hood.

“Roxas, you should just do your best.”

When Axel suggested that Roxas work twice as hard for Xion’s sake, he referred to it as “doing your best” I think Lea “did his best” for Isa a lot.

“It’s okay—go! I’ll catch up.”

Naminé nodded and jumped into the gateway.

“So you’re trying to play the hero now, too?” Saïx said flatly, staring hard at Axel.

I think Lea played the hero for Isa.

“Hmph. I don’t have time for these games.” Darkness welled from a rift behind Saïx. “Do your best to help your dear hero.”

I think Isa also tried to “do his best” to show his appreciation for Lea by letting him have a day off.

“Understood, sir,” Saïx replied, and Xemnas disappeared.

“…Well, do your best. The best a kid without a heart can do, anyway,” said Xigbar, and he too disappeared.

And I think that is probably what got him Norted. Xigbar finds the whole situation amusing.

Axel let out a long-suffering sigh. “Well, I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. Sleep. And then maybe have a catnap and a snooze after that.”

“Isn’t that what you usually do anyway?”

I don’t really get what he means.

“Usually, I’m making do with how much I get.”

He really wants to sleep that much?

“What are you gonna do, Xion?”

Axel yawned again through Roxas’s question. “If anyone cares, I was just getting back to bed.”

“Wh—? Oh. Okay.” Roxas nodded uncertainly as Axel sauntered off without another word. 

How can he be that sleepy…?

Day 117 is when Axel and Xion had their mission together. Then the very next day is the vacation, “Lazy Day” where Axel’s sleep deprivation was brought up.

“Does going to sleep count?”

“What?! Axel, you wasted your whole day?”

“Hey, I needed the rest! I work hard on the job, unlike some people.”

“It’s not our fault you get tired so quick,” Xion shot back, and the three of them cracked up together.

Axel said he works very hard, so he deserved to rest on his day off. He got to sleep all day, just like he wanted to do as a human, and just like he would have done if Saïx had shown him appreciation after Castle Oblivion.

“You’re getting there, aren’t you. Okay, since you worked really hard today, you get a reward,” said Axel, and he started walking.

And sea-salt ice cream is a reward for working very hard. 

Roxas: That still doesn't explain what love is... Is love fighting to protect what's most important to you? Where does its power come from?

Axel: Hey, here comes the hard worker.

A perfect reward for someone like Lea.

“Don’t go doing stupid things while I’m gone, you hear?”

“Hey, we so wouldn’t,” Xion replied.

“I wonder now… can I really trust you guys?”

“You’re terrible!” Xion protested. Finding something funny about the situation, Roxas huffed.

“Hey, what are you laughing about, Roxas… hee hee,” Xion laughed. Axel couldn’t help but laugh along.

Right after Axel finished telling Roxas and Xion about his dark secrets, he warned them not to bungle anything while he was gone at Castle Oblivion. But Xion did. She was getting berated for failing her mission as soon as Axel came back. 

“…You’re so irresponsible…,” Axel grumbled, his steps faltering under the weight of the girl—the puppet—hoisted over his shoulder. While he was hardly unscathed himself, she appeared completely unconscious.

When Axel at last staggered into the castle, his legs buckled beneath him, and Xion tumbled from his arms as he fainted.

I think Isa probably also bungled things on the day he let Lea rest. Kinda like how Aladdin was really struggling to cope without Genie. But he refused to ask for help.

Genie: Yep! Until Carpet and I took off on a well deserved vacation. What you might call a mini world tour. But we got to worrying about how Al was doing...so we figured we'd pop back in to check up on him.

Roxas: Why were you worried? Is there something to worry about?

Genie: Well, sure! It's only natural to worry about your friends. I worried about how things were going with Jasmine, how the city was holding up... And once I get something on my mind, I can't knock it out--tried everything: dynamite, sledgehammers, tweezers...

Xion: Well, I don't know about anybody named Al, but... The city's in rough shape. They've been fixing it up.

Roxas: Right, they keep getting hit by sandstorms.

Genie: What!? Why do these things always happen the minute I leave town!?

Aladdin’s wish was for for Genie to be free and to just be able to enjoy his vacation. But Genie couldn’t enjoy his vacation until he was free of worry.

Genie: Well, anyway... I'm glad to see Al's doing all right. Now I can enjoy the rest of my vacation free of worries!

Aladdin and Genie are used as the perfect example of best friends due to their mutual concern for each other. Axel was always looking out for Roxas and Xion in 358/2 Days. 

Roxas: Just feels strange, that's all. Usually, I do all the worrying over you. I don't think it's ever been the other way around before.

Xion: Well, for your information... I worry about you all the time, Roxas.

Roxas: I'm glad you're back, Xion. I just wish Axel didn't have to be so rough with you.

But he didn’t have anyone looking out for him. This is why I think he was so nostalgic for the past. I think Axel was specifically thinking about the WINNER stick on Day 118. Roxas mentioned it in his diary and Axel was looking at his ice cream stick in the manga, too. And this was the day Axel wrote in his report how Saïx had changed and that he missed what was gone.

“That’s true, but… if you go on like this, you’ll collapse.”

“I said I’m fine, Jasmine. We don’t know when the next storm will come. We have to rebuild the city before the next sand storm comes.”

I think Lea was worried about Isa and went to go check on him, and sure enough something bad happened.

“Xion!” he called, after gently putting her down, but Xion didn’t react.

I was careless. I don’t have a clear answer as to why Xion collapses so often in the first place. Why was she allowed to go on a mission in this condition? The thoughts floated up along with regret.

Lea probably saved him. But he was probably asleep for a while like Xion was. 

“Don’t push yourself too hard. Our mission is to put down a giant Heartless—Looks like a pretty tough Heartless, yanno,” said Axel, scratching his head.

“Since we’re in Twilight Town, we can eat as soon as we’re done, can’t we,” said Xion, chasing after him.

“Yeah, that’s true, but… Don’t be careless,” Axel warned their backs as he followed behind.

“Axel is such a worry-wart, isn’t he.”

“Worry-wart—Maybe that’s cause you two worry me far too much.”

Isa probably collapsed. He fought with everything he had to allow Lea a chance to rest. This might be the origin of his berserk state. He wasn’t filled with rage or anything. He was motivated by love. He was trying so hard to protect Lea and used up all his strength. 

“He worries too much. Thinks he has to help Sora do everything…” Axel grimaced in irritation.

“But, Axel, aren’t you the one worrying about Riku and Sora?” Naminé giggled softly.

“Me, worry? You think I need to be worried about those two?” He stretched backward and rocked the chair back and forth, like a restless child.

Lea was very scared and blamed himself after what happened to Isa. The whole situation traumatized him. At first Axel brushed off Roxas whenever he was worried about Xion. But after Day 193 he always told them not to push themselves too hard or to take it easy. When Isa woke up, he felt bad. He just wanted to show his appreciation for Lea, but all he did was scare him to death and cause more work for him. He felt like a failure.

“Well, Roxas—why do the three of us eat ice cream together every day in that place?”

“….Huh?” I don’t really get what he’s trying to say.

“I have no use in doing that either, do I? If you think about it, it’s troublesome, right? Do you want me to tell you?”

Roxas looked at Axel, and waited for his answer.

“It’s because we are best friends.”

Lea might have said that Isa didn’t need to do anything “useful” to show his appreciation. He just liked spending time with him and that was all he wanted as thanks. 

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that funny!” Axel scolded. They paused, looked at each other, and giggled again.

“I don’t know why I put up with this…”

“But, I mean…it just didn’t sound like you, Axel.” Xion could barely hold in laughter long enough to get the words out.

A wish that they could always be together—was longing for the impossible. But at least they could always remember one another.

That was what he really wished for. Even more than sleep. So, Isa gave Lea the WINNER stick as his reward. It was a promise that they’d eat ice cream and spend time together in the future, which is why it meant so much to Axel. He was remembering all of this on Day 193. Isa must have known how distraught Lea was back then. Axel was very hurt by Saïx knowingly making him relive that situation. That’s why he told Roxas and Xion that they were his best friends while they were worried about Xion. 

I don’t really know what ‘reward’ actually means, but I think it’s definitely a special thing, like ‘Winner’. And so, when Axel comes back, I’ll give him the ‘Winner’ as a ‘reward’.

Xion, eating ice cream beside him, swung her feet.

“You two are really close, aren’t you?” she said.

Sea-salt ice cream was a reward for hard work or doing a good job. It was always brought up whenever Axel left or came back from Castle Oblivion. And going to Castle Oblivion was always a job assigned to him by Saïx.

“Well… it is winning after all, so it has to be something good, right?”

“Something good…?” Roxas asked.

“Hee hee hee…,” Xion laughed. Roxas and Axel looked at her. “The two of you are close, aren’t you?” she said, and then she looked out at the setting sun. “Such a pretty sunset…”

The WINNER stick was obviously special to Axel long before Roxas gave it to him. Axel was lying when he said he’d never seen one on Day 352. He knew exactly what it was for.

“…Was it okay to have said that?”

“What do you mean?”

Axel’s tone is a little lower than usual. “I mean… you and Saïx are usually pretty close, aren’t you?”

“Close, whatever. You’re the one who went and flared up in the first place.”

“Yeah, but…” It feels like some sort of mistake, for there to be a distance between Axel and Saïx like the one Saïx has between Xion and I.

The reason he lied about it is probably because it was a very painful subject, involving his most precious memories of the past. He wanted to keep things lighthearted for Roxas and Xion’s sake.

“We have not confirmed what happened to any spare cloaks in the possession of the members who were stationed at Castle Oblivion. Axel will also be looking into that.”

“Axel this, Axel that… you two are quite the pals, aren’t you? Wonder what you two whisper about,” Xigbar shot, jiggling his crossed leg.

“Now you’ve mentioned it, I wonder the same about you.” At Saïx’s words, the atmosphere froze over.

Xigbar mentioned how close Axel and Saïx were during the meeting on Day 119, right after Axel left for Castle Oblivion again. After that meeting Xigbar praised Xion in front of Saïx, while snickering.

Roxas: But I've heard him say he wasn't cut out for combat. I guess everybody in the Organization is good at different things.

Axel: That's right. Everybody's unique.

Xion: Even Nobodies? Don't you need a heart to be unique?

Axel: Oh, I think we have other things that set us apart. Like our pasts.

Xion: What past?

Roxas: You remember stuff from before?

Axel: That's one of the things that makes the Organization members special. Unlike lesser Nobodies, we remember who we were.

I think Lea saved Isa then bragged about being tough. Isa gave Lea his reward by giving him the WINNER stick after screwing up Lea’s vacation. He felt bad that he wasn’t good at fighting and failed.

“Don’t you remember? I acted like a zombie.” Axel stared at him as if trying to figure something out and then grinned. “Right, that first week you could barely form a sentence. But come on, you’re still kind of a zombie.”

“Oh, thanks!” Roxas huffed, and they laughed.

“Hey, Roxas…”

“Hmm?”

“Bet you don’t know why the sun sets red.” He eyed Roxas mischievously. “You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest.” He finished with a boastful grin.

Roxas laughed. “Why do you look so smug about it?” He shoved him, and Axel gave another little laugh.

I think Lea gave Isa his reward some time later when he was “broken” and then suddenly spoke, telling Lea why the sunset was red. He was proud of himself. Everyone is good at different things. Lea was good at fighting. Isa was knowledgeable about stuff. Lea was so happy Isa still had his unique personality, he wanted to reward him. If they were in Twilight Town at the time, maybe Lea actually used the WINNER stick Isa gave him to get him the ice cream. Then they watched the sunset. Essentially, the WINNER stick is the equivalent of the wooden sword that Terra gave to Ventus.