#hitting the queer religious trauma vibes on that head

[shaniacsboogara]

DID CONAN GRAY SERIOUSLY JUST SAY "DON'T BE SCARED LITTLE CHILD YOU'RE NO DEMON, THERE'S A GOD IN THE SKY DON'T BELIEVE HIM, DON'T BE SCARED LITTLE CHILD OF THAT FEELING, YOU'RE IN LOVE YOU FOUND HEAVEN"

[lastoneout]

ough came up with something stupid self indulgent that I'm absolutely going to write haha can't wait for this to also become accidentally super relevant to this story plot and theme wise

[beautyofsorrow]

2, 4, 7, 18, 46

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

evil. evil question. why would you make me think about my multichaps. ok so i tried the intensive outlining thing, i really did, and it flopped so bad because i'm pretty sure i have adhd which, among many other things, means i need novelty in order to stay interested in a thing. but i also need STRUCTURE so i know where i'm GOING or i'll never FINISH so i have started doing this thing where i have the vague outline of what happens and then go from there. for without anesthetic, i had a pretty good idea of what i thought the first four chapters entailed before i ever sat down at the word doc, just so i'd have a measure of security behind this wildly ambitious idea. turns out it was only enough for three chapters and i am spinning my wheels a little on the fourth/fifth/sixth, but it's going so much better than my last multichap did, and i haven't abandoned it like my first. so yay! it's my own version of what i call the ann patchett method of drafting (see "the getaway car" in this is the story of a happy marriage for more details on that, dear mutuals who are not zanna). more adhd, but just rigorous enough to keep me from walking out. this seems to be working, but it's also nerve-wracking because oh no, what if i get ?? chapters deep and i've written myself into a corner? (the answer: girl calm down, it's fanfiction and you're supposed to be having fun)

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

i rifle through the fridge at 10pm looking for a very specific food that does not exist and then get mad at myself when i realize i am gonna have to write it into existence.

see also: my love for the characters (/horny and emotional). a desperate need for non-romantic sexually intimate relationships in media. upsetting plotholes in canon. deranged character dynamics. weird takes on popular tropes. religious trauma. family estrangement. being queer. i also read a lot of books and find plenty of sparks ideas juice inside them, usually in their style and execution. i looooooooove studying form and how it influences a book's plot.

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

whatever best serves the story! and/or whatever i feel i can handle best in a given moment. for example, the first time i tried my hand at sex pollen (drown me in glitter, glitter and gold) i had no fucking clue how to write from a sex-pollened person's POV, so the answer was to stay in la'an's head the entire fic. that let me get really comfy with the story so that by the time i had to write her being all high on horny juice, it flowed much more easily than if i had started in una's POV, who's dosed from the start. also, it was a much better, funnier, and stronger fic that way. la'an's mortification really came through and allowed me to hit a lot of comedic beats i wouldn't have been able to hit due to una's temporary plunge into angst.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

i do all three lol. mostly during and after. sometimes i'll have one from the start and it will stick; other times it will change to something else halfway through. many many times i will come screaming into ur DMs complaining about being done with a fic but not having title tags or summary. i started keeping a file in my notes app of lines of poetry i love, and i'll occasionally plunder them for titles. i'll also yoink song lyrics (just give me trust and watch what'll happen), riff on character quotes or episode titles (without anesthetic, ad astra), or rotate the fic in my head until something appropriately vibe-y presents itself (dress me down and hold me open, aces wild, stitch)

46. How would you describe your style?

contemplative, lyric and/or comedic (depending on the fic), & character-driven

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

fic authors self rec! when you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. let’s spread the self-love 🤍✨

I have this tendency for my favorite fics to be "whatever's most recent," just because it's still lighting up my brain -- but actually I don't have a lot of Most Recent Fic, so this is a great time for me to go back and think about stuff I loved that's in danger of being Lost to Time.

Fourteen Years (Stargate Atlantis) There's technically a pairing to this story (Sheppard/Ronon), but the vast majority of it is just character and worldbuilding around Ronon and his trauma, which is the thing I wrote most about in this fandom, because SGA did the TV Trauma thing where they were like "this guy's neat backstory is that he underwent the most horrifying agony imaginable for seven years and now he's tough and badass!" When like. That is not what it would do! Being isolated from human contact and hunted like an animal for years on end would make you very super fucked up actually! So accidentally, by forgetting his whole backstory and just making him a fun, laid-back badass, the show created this really interesting black box of a character, because how *is* he coping with *anything* actually? Anyway, I wrote several versions of answers to that question, but this is probably my favorite.

1001 (Schitt's Creek) This is actually the middle part of a three-fic series, but I don't see why you couldn't read it alone. I know coming-out stories are played out, but there is something really rich and lovely to me about people realizing in adulthood that they're not at all who they assumed they were, and obviously you should not read anything at all into that, please do not perceive me. This is a pretty short one, and I think it's well balanced between Patrick's experience of trying to understand himself and Patrick's experience falling hard for a first love. David is probably OOC here, although in my defense managing Patrick's emotions *is* the one thing in canon he tends to be level-headed about, so I'm letting myself have this one.

Orleans (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) You *cannot* give me an alternate universe in canon and expect me not to write fic in the alternate universe. So this is set in the Wish-verse created in s3, and it's written in second person, which is -- terrible, it's a very dubious choice that I do not recommend to anyone, but I was Trying Things back then, and I tried it. And I would never do it again, but for some reason I like this story, idk. I feel like this hits a lot of the beats that make it feel like a very archetypal Thing That Milo Writes -- weariness, regret, queer horniness, mortality, religious trauma. I actually like a lot of my old BtVS fic, looking back; there's definitely a rawness to the writing, but that gives it a certain charm. If this one works for you, you should definitely also read Witness and Pink Ladies.

And Watch What Happens (Supernatural) This is kind of weird one, existing in some kind of liminal zone between Canon AU and Just Plain AU -- it's got the same "coffeeshop AU without the coffeeshop" vibe that much of my Magicians fic has, but -- well, it's hard to explain how it intersects with canon and also not spoil the fic. All is not what it seems! I genuinely love this version of Cass, who was the most fun character I ever got to create right up until PGY Eliot, and not to overstate things, but I do think that spending most of 2018 writing from his POV sort of unlocked the Gender Achievement for me, like, oh huh, I think this might be the person I want to be! So, special place in the heart and all that.

All the Comforts of Home (The Magicians) My favorite Magicians fic is, of course, All of Them, even the ones that aren't good. But I'm having a renaissance with this one lately. It's got drama, it's got comedy, it's got philosophy, it's got full-tilt romance and it's got It's Complicated, it's got food porn and porn-porn and parenthood and like, the beauty of all life or some such shit. I devote most of one whole chapter to shitposting about The Sound of Music. I just really like it.

This was fun! I don't know who else has been tagged, but I'll pick @stormscoming and @nellie-elizabeth and @allegria23 and honestly anyone! Anyone who sees this should do it!

[hauntedxchris]

this man is actually insane😔

DID CONAN GRAY SERIOUSLY JUST SAY "DON'T BE SCARED LITTLE CHILD YOU'RE NO DEMON, THERE'S A GOD IN THE SKY DON'T BELIEVE HIM, DON'T BE SCARED LITTLE CHILD OF THAT FEELING, YOU'RE IN LOVE YOU FOUND HEAVEN"