#hitting that copium hard today

[desceros]

F!Donnie's reaction to the discovery of f!viola-chan pregnancy? *Gives you the biggest puppy eyes as possible as I sulk after reading chapter 19* I beg of you for some fluff before my heart can't take it.

[yelling as i walk around the dash with this fic in a makeshift hawking tray] come get yer symphony copium right here folks symphony copium we got yer symphony copium donatello/reader; female reader; rated m (lil bit of spice)

“You smell… really good.” 

It’s a rare evening: Donnie’s actually in bed with you, no one got hurt today, everyone made it home, and with the success of the latest supply run there’d been food enough to go around. Your already-smiling face brightens further at his words, and you laugh as he presses close to burrow his face in your shoulder from behind.

“So you’re going to crush me into the mattress?” you ask, expecting him to make some kind of quippy retort about how he does that most nights anyway; but he doesn’t. He’s still smelling you, like your scent is intoxicating him somehow. “…Donnie?”

“Shhh,” he murmurs, his beak running over your skin, his brow furrowing as he concentrates. It’s a confusing mix; his intense study makes you a little nervous, but he’s holding you so gently and filling every inch of your personal space with himself, making it nearly impossible to think about anything else.

“Don? Is everything okay?” you ask after a moment, going to roll over to face him only to freeze when he clutches at your body and pins you in place, a low rumbling sound from deep inside his shell searing straight to the animal place in your brain that screams for you to obey your mate. Shivering, worried, aroused, you comply.

…He’s still scenting you. 

“Donnie. Donnie.”  Urgency fills your voice, and though you don’t move—not that you could, what with how he’s got his hand on your shoulder and his legs strategically on yours—you do put enough emphasis in your tone that he finally pulls out of whatever turtle-brain part of himself he’d sunk into.

“…You…” he starts, his voice something that sounds a bit like wonder. 

“Donnie, for fuck’s sake, what—”

“You’re pregnant.��

This time, you freeze without his command. The word bounces around in your head—pregnant pregnant pregnant—and bruises the sides of your skull for how hard it hits. 

“…Is that… Is that even possible?” you ask, trying to turn. Again, he puts pressure on you, not letting you move. He isn't on top of you, not quite, but you're not going anywhere. One part of you wants to scream in frustration, but you can also feel the way his weight calms the panic that you see just on the edge of your reaction, its gnarly tendrils ominous and bleak. “How is that—We can’t—?”

“Apparently we can,” he says, slightly muffled from where he’s still scenting you. “Fuck, you—you smell so good. I have to get up in a few hours. I’m supposed to be sleeping right now. All I can think about is fucking you while you smell like this.”

His hot words, combined with the way he uses his grasp on you to roll his hips against yours, make you keen into the dark air of his lab. Still, you claw your way back, refusing to let him melt your brain. This is—This is important, you have to—you’re fucking pregnant in the apocalypse, there’s so much you need to—

“Donnie, we have to—” you start, but he cuts you off by sinking his teeth into the curve of your shoulder, one hand sliding down to press low on your stomach as he arches into you again, then again. Fuck; he knows your body better than you do, and with a twist of his fingers he has you nearly begging for him.

“Yeah. We do,” he murmurs, talking about something completely different and, infuriatingly, still managing to set your blood on fire. “You’re so pretty. Always feel good. Amazing. You’re incredible.”

…Oh, you think, hearing it in the tremble of his voice. Feeling it in the way that his fingers go light on you, the way he’s curling around you more than he is crawling on top of you. The gentle, gentle, gentle weight of his palm against where it’s not just you inside your body anymore. The curve of his mouth against your skin between the wet kisses and nips where he's drunk on you.

“…You’re happy?” you ask quietly, uncertainly, and that, that’s what finally pulls him to you.

“Of course,” he says, like it’s an absolute not to be questioned. “Why wouldn’t I be? I love you.” Then, going still, he seems to consider that there might be an alternative reaction. “…Are you happy?”

You stare at the wall in front of you, mismatched and haphazardly scraped together. Just out of your hearing range, you know there are millions of hungry aliens looking to erase the very memory of you and the ones you love off the surface of the planet. It’s cold in the winter and sweltering in the summer. There’s almost never enough food. Only Donnie’s desalination machine keeps water from being an issue, and it’s a delicate, delicate heartbeat for the entire operation. Any day, you could die. Any day, you could lose him. Hope is a butterfly wing between you all; beautiful but gossamer-thin. 

You roll over to face him. This time, he doesn’t stop you.

He’s—god. Happy doesn’t even begin to touch it, you think, cupping his cheek with your hand and tracing your thumb at the line where his mask would be if he were wearing it. You haven’t seen his eyes this bright in… in… maybe ever, you think. His mouth is frowning now, waiting for your reaction, tempering his own, but you can see the shape of where he’d been smiling stupidly a mere moment ago. 

“I’m… worried,” you tell him, whispering softly between you. “I’m scared. I’m—I’m so, so scared. I’m shocked. I’m…” 

Donnie puts his hand over yours, keeping your palm pressed to his skin. It’s all you need. 

“…I’m happy.” 

His mouth goes back to that easy smile, his forehead pressing to yours as he pulls you close. This close, you can see the way his eyes are a little wet, and, oh, oh, he’s—he’s so much more than happy. It’s contagious; his delirious joy spilling over and making you giddy with the very idea of getting to share something like this with him. 

Sniffling, you press a quick kiss to his lips, laughing wetly when he chases you for more, tucking his face into your throat and inhaling deeply like he can’t stop. His hand finds your skin beneath your shirt, and his teeth find you again, the low rumbling churr of hunger intermingling with the light chirps of jubilation. He’s his own symphony of contentment, filling the lab and drawing from you giddy little laughs that tickle before the two of you fall to familiar whines and keens and mewls instead. Through it all, he's careful; gentle; worshipful; a reverence of you that makes you tremble even more than his sweet touch.

There will be time for the rest of it, you decide, letting his fingers coil with yours above your head as he slides inside on a gasped chant of love you love you love you that fills you to your very soul.

For now… you’ll just be happy.

[icharchivist]

Also some yesterday's relink thoughts (since i was too beat to mention it here), i still haven't finished the game but i did finish chapter 8

-So far the plot continue to impress.

-The boss fights are fucking insane. The generals of the church are fucking hard. The primals are even harder. what the FUCK was that fight in the desert?!

-Would kill to have Siete meeting the Harvin lady though. they'd be friends. or rivals.

-Also the Primals' designs are all so damn cool. The one from Lilith's primal in particular is so intimidating. Reminds me a bit of what The Devil should look like though.

-Seeing Lyria in this situation was completely gutting.

-But I totally fell for Id now too and we cheered when he turned on Lilith so now we just hope he'll join us for good.

-Lilith is like, pure villainy and all, an Astral like we know and love them (derogatory), but she's also like, super funny about it? We were looking at her profile yesterday and laughing because her 3D model is always floating like "nope i'm not setting a foot on this heathen's land", and Salt commented on how her profile looks like "Hobbies: don't let your dreams just be dreams! / Dreams: Destruction." and i'm still thinking about that.

-Rolan. Like i said a bit before reveal i did kinda expect him to have this history with Lilith, one he might be ashamed off and trying to right. I only got wrong that i thought his shady attitude was because he was aware he would be using us and that if we went against his plans he'd turn on us -- easy mistake since it's such a granblue thing to do. Instead i was completely blindsided by the Astral reveal lmao

-But it's so wild to see an Astral actually being nice? actually caring for Skydwellers? Like we've heard of them in some background stuff (Orchis' father come to mind), but the ones we met in the story were all such... well..... Lilith-type that it blindsided me lmao. So nice though.

-which also means he's now a meow meow with a savior complex AND the immortal dread of knowing he'll outlive anyone he cares about. he adds up to the pile of what we obsess on here. What a guy

-The Boss Battle to get Lyria back was epic. And heartbreaking. And the way they took into account who you had in your party made it even more heartshattering. God it was a good scene.

-PLAYING BAHAAMUUUUUUUT. the game crashed right after this fight so i had to redo it but it was so cool.

-Anyway back to Rolan why did Lilith evaporate him twice this is so evil D: at least he's not dead but wow. Also Lilith backstabbing him is just so. Is it the way Astral just kill people?

-Going back to the town we were told "you saved your princess in distress, now let us handle it" and the chat collectively went "well, Rolan now is our princess in distress" so glad we agree.

-Also shout out to Rackam, esp following a Fate Episode where he says he never know what to say to women and he's uncomfortable around them, hitting us with:

not beating any of the gay boy allegation. Make sure Noa doesn't hear you though.

-Granblue Localization my beloved:

-Also aside from the fact he keeps dying (but it's okay he's an astral he'll be fine (copium)), Rolan is such a nerd but like, exactly up-my-alley type of nerd. 10/10 would sink my teeth into him.

-And should mention it but yeah one "flaw" ultimately is that playing the game in Japanese adds a level of difficulty because they have plot relevent dialogues and/or tips for some battles in the middle of some battles and most of the time i have to pay close attention to the flow of battles and can't let the dialogues set in. For people who would have been worried about missing some of the dialogue by playing in Japanese, i confirm that, yeah, that's a concern. I'm still stubbornly playing it that way but it is a bit tougher.

Anyway so i stopped after we got Lyria back and before going to look for Rolan.

Outside of the plot, I finished the 4 knights set an also got Cagliostro (who is SO FUN to play???)

So the plan today is that i need to wrap a few things up, then i'll get back in th egame, i'll go through all the fate Episode that were unlocked since then, and then i'll get back to the main plot.

I think i'm on the last stretch anyway so i'll probably wrap it up today.

but it was so damn fun so far i'm enjoying myself so much.

[letterstojori]

5.5

Dear Jori,

I forgot. I do have one other gay friend. We’ve only met in person 3 times but this is Phuc. I think I matched with him at some point when he was in NorCal but he’s originally from Socal. We added each other on IG and just liked each others posts and stuff cause he’s a teacher. And then he ended up moving up here and I helped him out with his classroom and we went on a hike once. I kinda had a crush on him but realized that he was more of just a friend. We haven’t hung out for awhile but I caught up with him today because he saw my post about my kids and me leaving for Japan and he hit me up.

It was kinda nice hanging out cause for the first time I didn’t have that crush feeling and was just treating him like a friend. I think I was acting more silly cause there was some banter. Banter that I would have with you. And I caught myself but twice I almost said Jori.

I told him about you. Honestly I need to stop because I need to get over you but it’s kinda hard when I’m telling people about how we met and all the cute shit we did. But maybe it’s also hard because I’m literally writing a letter to you every night. This is time we’re missing and I wanna tell you about it someday. But also it just helps. I used to blog/journal all the time and I stopped towards the end of college. I kinda wish I wrote more, especially during my teaching journey. But I always said there just wasn’t so much to be excited to write about. Kinda funny how you brought a purpose of blogging back.

Today was a little hard. Just feeling a little extra sad for some reason. Probably because you barked for someone else yesterday. Haha. Maybe a little sad that you’re streaming again and you’re doing a bunch of other games like you wanted. Well not sad that you’re streaming but sad cause I wish I could be a part of that. But I’m so proud of you! You were in the 20+ views at some points. That’s a new record. Soon you’re no longer gonna be able to use bbstrimmer as a tag.

I’m realizing more and more how important it is that I let you go right now. I think the first gift will have to be the cookies, a plush even if it is a bunny and makes sense might be too much at first. As much as I’d love for you to have a constant reminder in my room that I’m here waiting for you to catch up. Does that count as waiting for you? Haha idk I’ve been playing with the idea in my head. If I’m telling you to catch up does that mean I’m waiting? Is it copium if I just keep telling myself that I’m not waiting and I’m working on myself? Maybe it’s not copium if I’m actually doing that.

I wish I could talk to you. But I guess this will have to do. Good luck on your Valuo games. I’m rooting for you 400 miles away~

-bearbear