#hitsuhina weekend

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

Reflections on the Ice

Hitsuhina Weekend - Day 1 - Junrinan / Motivation / Peach Tree / Time

Rating: K+ for mild themes

Setting: between the end of the Arrancar arc and the beginning of the Fullbringer arc

Synopsis: Toshiro reflects on his new-found powers and the motivation behind them.

AN: another fic, another take on the Completed form. This time though, it’s more an introspection with a dash of daydreaming. I think this one turned out weird, mainly because I ended up looking to Toshiro’s more, uh…fanciful side? I’m not sure how to describe it, but he never struck me as the type to daydream or have elaborate fantasies, but here we are!

Hope you enjoy it!

________

The ice around Toshiro is without impurities. It’s clear and glassy, smooth in some places and jagged in others, and the chill it emits is far colder than any ice he’s previously conjured up. He’d created it form just transforming into this form; what kind of ice can he create when he wields these powers to their full potential?

Going against the strains in his back, he straightens as much as he can. His reflection, hazy and colourless, surrounds him in several variations on the ice’s surface. He’s slumped, grimacing from the pain that came after transforming, but it’s gradually ebbing away. The sweat on his temple turns cold the instead it forms and runs down the side of his face; he can almost feel it freezing against his skin. Hyourinmaru is held in a slackened grip, the tip of the blade toughing the ice beneath his feet.

When the strain on his body lessens, he stands straighter and goes to nearest surface in halting steps. All is silent in the cave save for his steps echoing in the freezing air. He stops just far enough to make out the details.

He frowns at himself. It’s his reflection, but it truly doesn’t feel like it. It’s as though he looks at another, someone who is older and familiar, but no matter how close he gets, it doesn’t feel like he’s looking at himself.

He can't help but resent that this is how he looks. Why did he have to transform into something like this? Is it because his power is too much for someone his age, was meant for something older than him? Was his bankai a reflection of who was truly meant to wield these powers?

It didn't help that so much about him had changed. His hair is still white and spiky, and his are the same blue-green, but now narrower. His face is longer and his jaw harder, the face of a man rather than a boy. The rest of his body followed suit, his shoulder wider and angular, and his limbs long and lean.

Then of course there’s the height, which he will never admit still takes some getting used to. When he showed Rangiku this form last week, it struck him that he’d looked down rather than up at her.

Recalling her reaction makes him glower at his reflection. It’s most shocked he’s ever seen her, and for a second he thought she wouldn’t freak out like he’d expected. Of course, as soon as the shock wore off, she got too excited and almost ran out f the cave to get her camera. Then she was spouting ideas about him posing for a calendar in this form and saying he was going to be ‘so handsome’ when he grew up.

A show of the power he’d trained with so far quickly brought her back down to earth, however. He almost regretted it, because she became surprisingly sombre afterwards. Had he scared her? The way she carried on about the form behind closed doors while they did paperwork or were on a patrol alone together suggested he hadn't. She was one of the few who hadn’t been scared of him his whole life.

Unbidden, one of those others comes to his mind. For the first time, he wonders what would Momo think if she saw him like this. Time and time again, she showed no fear towards him, but this might finally be the thing that makes her see why others feared him in the Junrinan and even amongst some of their fellow Shinigami.

He doesn’t want her to be afraid of him – just the very thought of it makes his heart painfully tight – and yet these powers had come about because of her. How would she react to seeing these powers? He can see her being shocked, eyes wide and mouth agape, but what about after it wore off? Would she become sombre like Rangiku? Would she see him differently?

At some point he’d started to hunch over, shoulders drooping and head bowed low enough that he lost sight of his reflection’s face. He doesn’t have to look at it to know his frown has vanished and his mouth drawn down in a grimace. His doubts are getting the better of him. But hadn’t she forgiven him? Hadn’t she come to see him on lunchbreaks and smiled at him without a hint of apprehension or fear? She was still nervous around Hyourinmaru, but even then she acknowledged her fear was unwarranted, that she trusts him to wield his weapon.

He knows her, and surely she would be shocked to see his powers, but she would not fear him.

He lifts his head, meeting the gaze of his reflection. He steps away, and the weight on his shoulders rises away. Looking himself over, he starts to wonder how she’d react to seeing this forms appearance. Would she recognise him? His reiatsu would be a dead giveaway to her, but what if she didn’t?

He shakes his head at the thought, too silly to contemplate. Then his mind takes another turn; he never indulges in daydream or fantasy, but perhaps because of the exhaustion creeping in, he lets this one play out.

He imagines her seeing him from afar, that shocked expression slowly transforming to recognition. He approaches, and he smiles the softest of smile. She knows it’s him, and there's something comforting about that. Just as she wouldn't fear him for his powers, she wouldn't be daunted by this new appearance.

What would she makes of his voice? It's deeper, but not unrecognizable to his own ear. Perhaps she wouldn't see him first, but instead he'd call out to her with her back turned to him. Maybe she wouldn't recognise him at first, but all she would have to do is sense his reiatsu to know it's him.

He could finally tease her about being the taller one, and her flustered reaction would make him almost chuckle. The fact he'd have to look down at her made him feel...strange. Maybe he could finally feel and look like the protector he always wanted to be for her.

His eyes widen at the last thought, and he vigorously shakes him head as heat crawls up to his cheeks. What the hell?

In the back of his mind, he can almost sense Hyourinmaru's amusement. He glares at his reflection. What's so funny?

Nothing, Master, his zanpakuto spirit responds. I have just never seen this side of you before.

Toshiro only huffs and steps away from his reflection, The further back he gets, the more hazy is becomes. "There's no time for this," he says, raising Hyourinmaru to eye level. "I don't have much time left like this, do I?"

No, but there will always be tomorrow. Don't strain yourself, Master.

Focusing on his zanpakuto, the weight of the power roils within him. It's immense and barely controlled, straining against his body and affecting the environment around him. Even his touch has been affect, with just a graze of his fingertip able to freeze a section of a cave wall in thick ice.

Perhaps Momo would have something to fear if she knew touching him meant ice encasing her completely, maybe even freezing her through to the bone. Somehow, he can still see her being more surprised than fearful, more concerned for him than for her.

Are you cold, Shiro-chan?

How many times had she asked him that as children? He can even remember her asking him that when he became a Shinigami, even when she discovered his zanpakuto was an ice-type.

He's always feared having the power to protect her could also harm her. Now with this form and it's abilities, that proved to be a more valid concern than ever. These powers could harm her horrifically if he did not control them, but then could also protect her from being harmed in the first place.

It's a risk he has to accept, but it's one he can minimize by his own hand.

He may dislike this form for changing his appearance and for the strains it puts on his body, but he knows without fail, he will gladly don it if it meant protect her. He only has to use this form as a last resort, when there was nothing else to stop a threat at the same level as Aizen. It was rare for something as dangerous as him to exist in the world, and there is a greater chance of his never having to use this form, of Momo never having to see it at all, but having this form - and knowing how to wield it - will put his mind at ease.

It's with that his grip on Hyourinmaru's hilt tightens. He will become stronger and more adept at using these powers. He can find a way for his powers to be controlled and channeled at only the enemy who threatened him or Momo or the Seireitei. He can become strong enough to maintain this form for longer than five minutes.

And he can find a way for his touch to only freeze what he chose. After the reflections of today, this one became more important to him. Because in the event he needs to carry Momo away from harm, or that she suddenly decides to wrap him up in one of her impromptu hugs, or just to hold her shoulder and know she is there, he can touch and protect her without the fear of harming her ever again.

[hitsuhina-week]

❄️🌸Hitsuhina Weekend🌸❄️

🌸Dates🌸

Saturday 4th- Sunday 5th March (and 6th as an extra for the different timezones)

❄️Themes❄️

Saturday: Junrinan / Motivation / Peach Tree / Time

Sunday: Stars / Morning / Zanpakuto / Teamwork

If your theme suggestion didn’t make it for this event fear not! It’ll likely be used in a Hitsuhina event later in the year. If you’re not familiar with events like this or aren’t sure what the rules are, please read below the ‘keep reading’ to read the guidelines and rules for the weekend.

Otherwise, I hope to see all of your submissions in two weeks time!

Rules & Guidelines:

You can submit as many pieces as you want. It can just be one submission based on one or more of the themes, a few submissions each based on one or more of the themes, or you can take up the ultimate challenge great a single single submission that incorporates all of the themes; it’s totally up to you!

Tag your submission/s with either ‘#hitsuhina weekend’ or ‘#hitsuhina weekend 2023’ to be included in the event.

Submissions can be fanart, fanfiction, edits, metas, AMVs, gif sets,  and/or headcanons.

Submissions should include the name of the event (Hitsuhina Weekend) and the theme/s you are basing your submission on either in the description or author’s note.

Your submission should not be a tracing or copy of an existing artwork or fanfiction. Any entries that are will not be included  as part of Hitsuhina Weekend. As such, your submissions should an original work by you. For edits and AMVs, do not use fanart (unless it’s your own) as part of the submission.

Give credit where it is needed (such as a link and the OP’s name to a stock image or reference for drawings, or to photos for edits/aesthetic/mood boards).

You can create as many pieces as you want for any of the six themes.

Mature content isn’t allowed.

You may include other characters in the pieces, but the focus should be Hitsuhina. Of course, this is a day to celebrate Hitsuhina, not to undermine or bash on other characters/pairings. Any submissions with this will not be included as part of the event.

[canariie]

morning routine

Rating: T

Synopsis: Toushiro builds it into his routine to stop by Hinamori’s room before he begins his day. Sleep eludes him so much so that by the time he sees her, it is still early and dark with the streetlights still twinkling. While the world is still with blue muted tones and the infirmary night shift staff are exchanging guard, he has this moment of solitude with her.

But right as the soft light of dawn breaks, he departs immediately. 

...

Toushiro’s morning routine in the aftermath of the defection where he learns the healing power of proximity and trust.

Word Count: 2680 words

Setting: time in between the Save Rukia Arc & Arrancar Arc (around the time of the Bleach novel Honey Dish Rhapsody) 

Prompt: @hitsuhina-week‘s Hitsuhina 2023 Weekend Day 2 - Morning

Authour’s Note: This was an idea I had for a long time to expand on the few lines that Toushiro is mentioned in the first light novel, and Hinamori by proxmity. (I linked the novel up above if anyone wants to read a translation.) It really excited me to go super super deep into that one bit of him biting his nails as a nervous tick--which ended up being a whole story about hands haha

I didn’t spend too much time on final editing, in trying to keep with the unfiltered emotions and state of shock at coping with a loved one that is unreachable. I think I could have spent more time on this but also wanted to keep it quite raw.

Shout out to Chanhyuk’s songs Goodbye, stay well & If I can’t see you right now for being the songs that helped in the final push!

—

Toushiro never liked the healing barracks. The sterile whiteness of the walls, the artificial lights, the ticking of the clock. Everything felt bare and magnified like it was under a microscope.

He has been called to the intensive care treatment centers—when the shinigami that have almost slipped off the edge towards death have been hastily pulled up—and made to stand tall again for the Gotei 13. Currently, the center has seen its highest volume of patients and it makes his stomach drop as he passes by the doors of soldiers incapacitated by severed limbs and ailments that can only be treated with precedent prognoses.

But he endures it all as he watches the fourth captain check the vitals of her latest patient. He observes from the doorway; on the threshold of being involved, but far enough to be removed.

“Hinamori-fukutaicho’s treatment is complete. The damage to her body will heal sooner or later,” she says softly, her hands flipping through the paper charts; it’s careful in a way that makes Toushiro wonder if she is curating her words.

“The damage to her body…” Toushiro parrots as he bites his nails, a nervous habit he wished he had left outside of Seireitei.

He forces himself to stop.

Toushiro thinks of the times Hinamori chided him in the past. She would take his hands in hers and pull them towards herself, her brown eyes looking at him in admonishment before she would wrap his hands in her much warmer ones; they were always warmer, like she had just carried sunshine.

Shiro-chan, you shouldn’t do that! You’ll ruin your nails. She would tilt her head and smile, the pig tails drifting to the side, making him stop and stare.

If you’re ever worried about something, you can tell me, you know?

Now he has failed her and left her in a dreamless sleep.

It has only been a few days since the defection of the three captains, including Hinamori’s former captain; only a few days since she had been mercilessly stabbed through the chest, and left to die. His blood still runs cold as the sight of her lifeless eyes.

Admiration is the emotion furthest from understanding.

Toushiro gnaws at his thumb.

Unohana-taicho continues undeterred.

“I can only treat the wounds that we can see…Beyond that, we must rely on the patient’s own ‘will to live.’” She looks down at the sleeping girl who looks paler than ever before, as if the walls had sucked away the color of her life. Toushiro grimaces and quickly schools his face, before curtly bowing.

“Thank you Unohana-taicho,” he turns to leave.

“She is waiting for someone to call out to her,” Unohana-taicho calls out with something of an admonishment and plea.

Toushiro stops in his tracks. He knows the older captain knew the guilt he was drowning himself in. Without her intervention, he knew he would have bled out to death in that cold court and Hinamori would have surely not survived. And for that, he owes her an unpayable debt.

His throat tightens and his back remains rigid as he barely looks to the side.

“The way I am now, I can’t be the one to call out to her,” Toushiro says solemnly, before departing the room.

--

Toushiro builds it into his routine to stop by Hinamori’s room before he begins his day. Sleep eludes him so much so that by the time he sees her, it is still early and dark with the streetlights still twinkling. While the world is still with blue muted tones and the infirmary night shift staff are exchanging guard, he has this moment of solitude with her. But right as the soft light of dawn breaks, he departs immediately.

It surprises him one morning to see his lieutenant there before him as she moves around Hinamori’s room. She doesn’t startle when Toushiro calls out to her, instead turns with a worn look on her face, the soft shadows under her eyes looking deeper in the blue light.

“I knew you’ve been holding yourself back from coming in, Taicho,” she says resignedly. “But you shouldn’t punish yourself—we are both equally to blame and self-pity won’t help us.” Her tone is not unkind and she stares at the young girl in the bed with a loaded look that makes Toushiro feel like he’s not the only one carrying demons.

“Unohana-taicho updated me on her condition. She’s not gone but we have to prove her from here that we can bring her back.” She runs her hands through her long blond hair. “I’m proposing that we help with external care that the nurses wouldn’t normally do.”

He raises his eyebrow dubiously. “Like what?”

“Well,” she starts with that knowing tone, “We can do her nails! Who knows when Hinamori has had a manicure last and clearly there has been no time to do so,” she says matter-of-factly lifting up the young girls hands in her own and inspecting it. She tsks in disapproval while Toushiro can only gawk.

“Matsumoto, you cannot be serious.” His lieutenant has had some far-fetched ideas but this certainly tops them all.

“Isane-san said we’re not allowed to change her robes to something more colourful,” Rangiku said with a roll of her eyes. “So—this is the next big thing.” She stares at him, her gray eyes expecting him to retort.

Toushiro cannot say anything. His gut reaction is to do nothing and not move any closer. But he also knows that as much as his vice-captain says Hinamori needs this, Matsumoto equally as much needs this moment—to rid the guilt that is plaguing her.  

“It’s up to you,” he offers quietly.

She lets out a slight smile and exhales a long breath. “I know, I know it seems out there. But I truly believe that if she feels that someone is caring for—it’ll bring her back to us.” Rangiku pulls a seat by the bed and settles herself as she brings up a large hang bag that thunks on the side table.  

“I don’t think her nails will grow that long, but regardless we can still file them.” She pulls out a long nail file and begins on Hinamori’s smallest finger. "You take the file and move it along the nail,"—she demonstrated—"like that."

Toushiro only watches from the doorway, still in partial disbelief of what he was witnessing. Her eyebrows furrow as she concentrates, "Don't pull too fast or it might tear,” Matsumoto murmurs.

Toushiro wasn't enthused by the idea and the older girl could tell when she looks up at him.

She sighs. "Why don't you brush her hair? There's a brush in my bag," she gestured with her shoulder, her long blond hair spilling to the side.

"How much stuff did you bring, Matsumoto?" he asked warily, eyeing the unending volume of items she seemed to bring out of the bottomless bag. He makes no move to step forward from the doorway.

"Just the necessary items." Matsumoto defended as she started pulling out more items from her purse (“a make-up bag,” she had corrected him later). Finally in her hand she holds out the brush, but he still remains where he stands.  

“Why don’t you bring Tobiume closer to her?” the older woman asks, but Toushiro hears the unasked question. You can still carry it, right?

Zanptakou’s are remnants of their owner’s soul. Depending on proximity and the nature of the relationship, any close companion of the wielder is able to hold the sword. It implies trust and honor to carry another’s soul in one’s hands. Otherwise, it remains heavy and immovable to any stranger.

Typically with trust over time, it is common for a vice-captain to be able to carry their captain’s sword in their hand. What is rarer is when individuals outside of one’s division are able to hold the blade. It is a precious secret as it carries confidence—and therefore weakness.

He knew long before that he was able to hold Tobiume; he’s felt the warmth seep into him, like sunshine, like a warm flame, like Hinamori—vibrant and alive.

Toushiro steps forward from the threshold and approaches the sword that has been propped up in the corner.

A flare burns his hands and he drops Tobiume on the floor. The clang of the sword echoes in the room.

He stares down at his hands that are singed with burns, bright red bruises marring his skin.

It is with cold realization that he realizes they are in the same places as Hinamori’s bruises were from when she had accused him of murder.

Rangiku looks at him with great sadness and sighs in defeat. “It’ll take some time, but they’ll both come around.”

--

And so the routine began. Every morning the two would go and tidy up the room, with Rangiku tending to Hinamori and Toushiro just watching from far. After a couple of days, he starts moving closer—replacing the flowers by her bed stand, opening the curtains—but still never touching her.

A week passed and Matsumoto says that she had a lieutenants’ debrief in the morning and wouldn’t be able to come, which left him standing awkwardly in the door way of Hinamori’s room.

Toushiro went about his usual steps of changing the water for the flowers and opening the curtains. He makes a brief survey of her vitals, observing the machines that monitor her heartbeat with a steady steady soft staccato along with making a note to see if her IV bag has been replaced.

Ultimately, he finds himself by her side but cannot bring himself to tend to her hands, so he just opts to lift them. Rangiku has been dedicating a lot of care and besides the soft lines from her bruises, you couldn't tell she was in battle.

As he weighs her hand in his, he grimaced at the cold. He wishes she were warmer like when she was younger and would pull him along. He was never a fan of it, deeming it too childish to be directed by someone else.

Now, he regrets pulling away so quickly.

He studies her hand. There were still scars from when she had held Tobiume so tightly--with all her life to execute a dead man's wish. Which sent her to a dreamless sleep.

Her hands were never meant to carry such pain. They were to protect, take care and bring warmth.

He laments leaving her to face such demons on her own.

Toushiro drops her hand.

“She’ll wake up. I know she will.”

He turns to see the intruder in the doorway, taking up the whole width with his grand presence and bright orange hair.

“I’ve been told I’m not the best at detecting rieatsu but she’s there. I can feel it,” Kurosaki supplies like a hasty defense. "You looked so...sad," he finished lamely. There's a moment of pause as the older boy scratches his head, clearly uncomfortable. "It reminded me of when I lost my mom."

Toushiro regards him slowly. Though he wore the black death robes, his bright shock of hair made him stand out in the door frame, foreign and so alive. In every moment that Ichigo Kurosaki was present in Soul Society, his presence had disrupted their quotidian way of living. And though it was too soon for many captains reflecting on the unknown deceit, there was a begrudging admittance that the boy had wreaked havoc to save a friend and irreparably saved all of Soul Society.

Toushiro himself hadn't spent much time with the ryoka boy; he knew that Matsumoto had acquainted herself with the rest of the group, but he was not keen on making shallow introductions. Toushiro knows that he has been visiting Kuchiki from the Thirteenth but he did not expect to be sought out by the boy—especially to be offered unsolicited sympathy.

A flash of blood passes through his mind. Momo’s eyes pleading and drowning in confusion.

If Ichigo is bothered by Toushiro's silence, he doesn't show it. "My sisters were really young at the time so they couldn't understand the concept of death. Instead, my dad told the story of 'Sleeping Beauty,' and that our mother was far away, asleep and gone,” he speaks softly with the weight of someone who carried grief too prematurely.

"It gave them solace and relief that she'd one day wake up. But after a couple years, they realized it was a fairy tale."

(Toushiro doesn’t know who his father was and felt it was like fool hardy advice—but maybe he knew something more of consoling than Toushiro did).

The ryoka looks past Toushiro to the sleeping girl on the bed.

"But for you, you still have a chance. She's not gone—she's here. Don't give up, Toushiro."

The tenth captain was too stunned to correct the misuse of his title and watched as the human boy left.

Only the hum of the machines buzzed as time ticked by slowly. He looked to Hinamori, who was still asleep but maybe with the boys words and closer inspection, he could start to see a colour on her cheeks, and her chest deeply moving in breaths.

During one of his breaks later, he found himself wandering through a bookstore in the outer rings and found the tale of ‘sleeping beauty.’

He couldn't help himself and bought it.

--

As he reads it, it seemed like the stories that Momo would have liked to read—which made it harder to turn the pages, but he persists. Toushiro ends up bringing it with him in his morning visits and reads portions of it out loud to her.

A beautiful young girl who was tricked unknowingly into a dreamless sleep, caught in between life and death in a castle.

There were descriptions of flowers intricate and delicate as they covered up the walls of her castle. It seems that even in the image of death, there was life. But somehow, Toushiro knows, that when those hundreds of flowers seemed to pile up, then life would eventually fade. It makes him uneasy, knowing that there was this helpless person, left in a state of flux unknowing whether her saviour would come.

After he finishes the story, Toushrio found himself picturing the flowers in his hands. The nervous energy he had stored inside, started manifesting in little shards of ice. And he sculpted them—one by one. Picking at the shards and pulling them long between the prints of his fingers, pinching and piecing them into petals. It felt instinctual to one to bind them all together, until he had a single flower that reflected the light of the early dawn.

Toushiro glances at Momo, whose chest was rising up and down softly—higher than it ever did before.

A sigh of relief escaped his lips.

From then on, Toushiro comes every morning, and sculpts a flower, until he is called away to World of the Living, leaving behind a bouquet of ice by the sleeping girl’s bed.

--

The first thing that Momo could remember when she opened her eyes, was the warmth of sunshine on her face. Lifting herself slowly from the bed she looked down at her nails, painted with a light sheen reflecting the morning light, that she knew she didn't do herself.

She could hear the birds outside and the conversations of passerby. A soft breeze billows the curtain out and she can see the trees outside sway along.

A blinding flash of light catches her attention as she sees ice shimmer—and she is drawn to a beautiful bouquet of ice flowers standing by her bedside table. She drinks it in like water, the varieties of petals and designs and she marvels at the time that has manifested into it.

“Hitsugaya-kun?” Momo moves forward to touch the last remaining petal, but at the prick of her finger, it shatters into a thousand shards.

She wakes up alone, with broken shards of ice by her side of what once was.

—

Authour’s Note: I hope you all enjoyed this one! I really enjoyed taking on a sort of self-deprecating Hitsugaya and thinking about the ones that would get him out of his slump. Ichigo’s conversation was actually the first part that was written down, as part of my Hitsugaya gets life advice from older peers series haha I think Ichigo is the kind of guy that wouldn’t leave a sad kid without imparting something, right?

Also it’s a personal headcanon of mine that zanpaktous change perceived weight depending on the weilder and the holder’s relationship to the weilder! in tie with this, i would love to explore a future fic of Momo and Hyorinmaru post-Winter War.

I also hope that you got the Hyoten Hyakkaso reference! Sleeping beauty worked itself in somehow and then I was like, “oh! i must reference this! it all ties together!”

(but if you didn’t that’s okay! I hope the last paragraph was haunting enough haha)

[bleachbleachbleach]

Fic: Pygmalion

Okay, so like. This scene. I think it’s bananas that Yamamoto and Sasakibe were just... present for the entire thing? What is this, Soul Society Correctional, LOL. But seriously, I assume the initial report (about Aizen’s future machinations) required the Worm TV because it’s a private line, in ways that Denreishinki aren’t. Private line it may have been, though, this... wasn’t a private conversation. I was curious what this moment would look like to an outsider, and how it would feel to have this conversation with First Division watching.

^^ I mean, look at this! First Division, more like #1 Rubbernecking Division. 😂

Hitsuhina Weekend Day 2, for the prompt “transformation” (BUT VERY LATE). 1600 words.

Read below or Read on AO3. 

--

It's not how these things are done: A written request, furnished by hand. Still, Vice Captain Hinamori waits for Sasakibe to open the letter she has proffered, standing prim and erect and quite certain she will not leave until he's done so. It doesn’t matter how dark the shadows beneath her eyes.

It's not how these things are done because access to the chambers of the Captain-Commander are not granted–at least, not to those below the rank of Captain.

Vice Captain Hinamori has invited herself. The look in her eyes suggests grace, but no apology, as though she understands that they both understand that all of this is mere formality. 

He will give her what she wants.

The letter he opens is not in the style of a Gotei 13 missive, nor in the more gaudily poetic stylings of courtly epistles. There is no mention of the seasons, the weather, well-wishes for Sasakibe's health, nor other such sordid requirements. It offers a different sort of imagination.

I write to apply for an occasion to speak with Hitsugaya Toushirou, deployed in Karakura Town with the Advance Team. I've been notified that the Captain Commander will be making contact today on the matter of Captain Aizen's plans. Therefore, I propose to arrive shortly before 5PM and wait until the Captain Commanded has concluded his business. I request the opportunity to then forward my own.

The letter goes on, offering various rhetorical appeals to philosophy, politics, and law. It should be shocking, to receive so direct a request from one such as she, but Sasakibe recognizes the woman before him. A woman marching a pen across her societal shackles, wordplay and finishing school her weapons. She is from the Congreve, the Austen, the Woolf, and Lessing. The Shaw, perhaps. The prefects; the unmarriageable women of marriageable age; the duchesses.

"Where did you learn to speak like this?" Sasakibe asks her, and he watches her stumble.

They'd only been words on the page–less dangerous that way, or less hers. After all, she could never speak to anyone like that, least of all the Captain Commander. Perhaps not even Sasakibe, her equal in rank but over a thousand years her senior. Hinamori is far too young to refuse that gap between them, Sasakibe knows. 

She bites her lip.

Then she says, "I learned it from someone." She swallows her misgivings. Asserts, "From a book."

Captain Aizen's library is quite extensive, she explains. All of the books she's read had belonged to him. But she'd been looking to branch out. "Your translations are quite good," she adds.

So she was counting on Sasakibe to recognize her. Well then. It appears Hinamori will get her audience.

To be clear: It is not because she knows his books, brought back with great tenderness and great expense from the Western continents of the Living Realm and housed in the Seireitei's officer's library, only to gather dust for decades, if not centuries. It is not because she has read his translations, reaped the fruits of his long seasons spent working and reworking their English into new idiom (though this is a welcome gratuity). It is not because she, too, may be a true bibliophile–hungry for tales of others, and not the same insipid poetry. Not more sakura, cypress, and chestnuts, year in and year out.

No. It is because she read something in a book–in a fiction–and thought it might apply. Vice Captain Hinamori marched into Sasakibe's office like a character out of a book, making fantasy real and possibility an action. She does not want more of the same.

Sasakibe cannot help but admire that. 

–

This audience, of course, is not entirely a kindness. Nothing in this place ever truly is. The fact is, not every Captain within the Gotei 13 has expressed willingness to welcome the adjutants of the defectors back to their stations. Not without assurances. Gradually, Vice Captain Hisagi had been cleared, then Vice Captain Kira. Hinamori remains unproven. Officially, this is surveillance.

For the split-second Captain Hitsugaya's image materializes before their own, he looks nervous. Perhaps feels underdressed, in gigai and a polo, appropriate to Tokyo's fading summer heat but not to the halls of the First Division. His hands are overinterested in the pockets of his very human-styled slacks. But when the static finally gives way to an image of the Captain Commander, Hitsugaya tucks himself away, becomes all business.

He stays that way, all through this talk of Aizen's plans, the fate of 100,000 souls, the war to come. He is a Captain. 

The Captain Commander steps aside to reveal Hinamori.

A thousand half-emotions dart across Hitsugaya's face then–minnows in a pond, scattered from their hiding place. Sun glinting. Anguish, concern, a little terror. A nakedness. He is a boy.

The only thing on Hitsugaya's mind is Hinamori, except she can't be. He knows Sasakibe and the Captain Commander are still in the room. Somewhere beyond the focus of the camera, hidden in the shadow and static, they are standing, listening. They will bear witness to all that's spoken here. Nothing is private.

"You're awake," says Hitsugaya, finally. He asks after her health, perfunctory.

He is the letter Hinamori had not sent, all weather and seasons and set phrases. It is almost as though he does not know who to be more careful with, Hinamori or their spectators. Should he be careful, so as not to harm her? Or careful, because they are not alone? What is he supposed to do, or say? 

Captain Hitsugaya has nothing to hide, at least insofar as the business of Aizen and Soul Society and the Gotei 13 are concerned. He has no subterfuge to protect. He's already officially expressed his certainty that Hinamori has none, either. This isn't about that. There is only the matter of how much of his heart he should show. 

This strikes Sasakibe as an incredibly young dilemma. To have things not yet expressed, emotions not yet known, and all the self-conscious dramas that come with mystery. To need to show, or assure, or promise. 

Sasakibe has lived a thousand years and more, and he can no longer imagine anything he would need to tell the Captain Commander. Their bond has long since been written, in the privacy of the past.

Hitsugaya hesitates.

Sasakibe studies him, the furrow of his brow murky in the grain of the picture and its shuddering signal. It's hard to remember what it is to be so young.

In the meantime, Hinamori apologizes so entirely it is as though she is not certain if her remorse will be received, or if it will matter. Perhaps she isn't. 

Sasakibe does not know Hinamori well, and perhaps Hitsugaya even less, but he knows devotion when he sees it. It tasks him to imagine that they can't. 

(It is so hard to remember–)

"Dumbass," Hitsugaya interjects, having made his choice. They only have a minute, maybe two. He's decided he can't waste it worrying what the First will see in him. He can't waste her.

This room has not heard language such as this in quite some time. Idle chatter to break the tension–puerile, a little vapid. But there's only a handful of a hundred years between them, and all this talk still matters deeply. It matters enough that it no longer matters who is listening to these crass nothings, intended only for two ears and receiving six. That is how much they are still unwritten. 

Sasakibe should pity them. The pain they are in, and the messiness of it all. The impossibility of having seen so little of life, of not even knowing what is worth being injured by. To pretend to be so brave. But here is the problem with having lived a thousand years or two: Sasakibe can know, like Hinamori, he does not want more of the same. But he also knows he'll never get it. He knows how he'll die, one day. He knows for whom. But Hinamori will have a new captain one day. Perhaps one day she'll fall in love. Or maybe she'll remain the duchess, but it will not be an act. She will be that proud, that sure. That is all to come. 

Hitsugaya's concentration wavers. His gaze flits to the static, as though if he looks hard enough he'll see what lies beyond it. He's remembered time–time not his. This was not meant to be a personal call. 

Then Hinamori says, "Can I ask you something?"

–

Sasakibe catches her body as the Captain Commander silences her mouth, her mind, and Hinamori slumps backward, limp as the dead. 

She'd come to Sasakibe boldly, as if out of a bildungsroman. Writer of her story. But then, hadn't she been similarly ensorceled by a certain letter? Perhaps Hinamori is happy to become whatever has been written. 

The screen catches Hitsugaya, crestfallen.

–

--about Captain Aizen?

–

She will be made and–      

         (she is in Hitsugaya's arms)

                                      –unmade.

(This is a letter in Aizen's hand.)

–

"Hinamori says thank you for the books," Hitsugaya tells him.

This is the only time Hitsugaya and Sasakibe have ever spoken. 

Hitsugaya came from 12th to 1st to carry this message, and all for someone else's vice captain.  He has two books in hand; the others, she must still be reading. Perhaps he has other business here, though Sasakibe suspects he does not. Hinamori is a singular woman. 

"Is she well?" Sasakibe asks, taking the books.

Hitsugaya studies him. "She's Hinamori," he says eventually. Sasakibe knows neither of them well enough to know if this is yes, or no, or maybe. He knows Hitsugaya has made a choice to offer nothing more.

"Of course," says Sasakibe.

There is nothing greater than to be as yet unwritten.

[magical-girl-coral]

For 002 — Unohana, Hinamori, Matsumoto!

First of all, sorry for answering so late. I deleted the original post and by the time I saw your ask, I was in the middle of work. So, extremely my bad. Secondly, ONWARD.

Unohana

How I feel about this character: Scary death mother. deserved a better story. Will probably call her mom by accident if I knew her.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Kenpachi and Isane before the reveal, no one nowadays.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Ukitake and Shunsui. I wish we had more scenes with all the veterans in one room.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I really really really really really hate her backstory. It took the only character I'd trust with children and turned her into a child groomer. Big yikes from me.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: She didn't die and continued to work as the captain of the Forth Division.

my OTP: Nope.

my cross over ship: N/A

a headcanon fact: Unohana wishes the Central 46 was more open to human tech. She would die to have more vending machines in her division, they sound like lifesavers.

Momo

How I feel about this character: Cinamon roll that can and will kill you. Deserves to stab Aizen at least once. A bomb ready to explode in the shape of a cute peach.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Izuru, Isane and Rukia

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Momo and Shinji

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't like HitsuHina. It feels more sibling-like to me. I can see why others ship it though.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: That Momo wasn't used as manpain for Toshiro. You didn't to her stabbed by him to show how awful Aizen is, Kubo.

my OTP: Momo x a goddamn break.

my cross over ship: N/A

a headcanon fact: She and Toshiro visited their Grandmother the second TYBW ended. They stayed at her house for the weekend to recover from all that happened.

Rangiku

How I feel about this character: WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE. I love love love her. The icon we don't deserve but need. I can and will kill for her.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gin, Nanao, Isane, and Shuhei (sometimes)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Orihime, Toshiro, Renji, Izuru, and most of the Shinigami Women's Association.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think I have one? I'm pretty sure we all can agree that she's a queen that deserves everything.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: BANKAI. BANKAI. BANKAI.

my OTP: GinRan

my cross over ship: N/A

a headcanon fact: Rangiku can be a very good leader when she needs to be. Tell her it's an emergency and she'll pull herself together to be the best goddamn woman in charge. She'll balance it out by taking a vacation week without notice tho.

[xxhanabifireworksxx]

Hanabi, it's my blog anniversary and I want you to know you've always been one of the blogs that kept me on here for six years. I love your fanart and as I'm sure you've seen I reblog it again and again, I just love having it on my dash. Thank you for your support over the years, I've always appreciated your reblogs, likes, and comments :D I hope we can talk more when the anime returns, but totally understand if real life is too busy, happy to talk BLEACH with you whenever!!

OMG YOU ARE SUCH A SWEET HEART 💜 Yeah, I’ve noticed just a tiny bit that you reblog my stuff! 😁 I love that you continue to write hitsuhina stuff too and with the bleach reboot coming up I will expect to see more 👀 Can’t wait for bleach to come back in the fall! I was super hyped this last weekend when I saw a mural being created during ACEN (biggest anime con in the Midwest U.S states) to promote bleach and ALSO not to mention that I saw many people cosplaying as Bleach characters. The new season for bleach isn’t even out yet but the hype is real! The only way that this could have happened is because individuals like yourself have continued to talk bleach up for years after the anime and manga have ended. Without this strong community Bleach would have never made a come back!

[pinkhairedlily]

A Name To Call Home

Prompt: Nickname | AO3 link here | Happy HitsuHina Week! @hitsuhina-week @rays-of-fire-and-ice

Hitsugaya came home yet again covered in bruises. “Stupid kids, they think I don’t know how to fight,” he mumbled to himself. Eventually, a smirk took over his whole face, remembering how he took on a group of four teenagers, obviously older and taller than him, who stole a watermelon from his favorite vendor. He halted in his steps when he saw his granny outside of their small home with a black-haired girl.

“Obaa-chan, is she bothering you?” He was admittedly overprotective over his grandmother, and so it has become a second nature for him to raise his voice and doubt the intentions of all strangers interacting with her.

The girl didn’t back away from his supposedly intimidating presence, instead she greeted him with a smile and wave, a bundle of amanitto in her hands.

“You’re just right in time, Hitsugaya. Momo brought us some food,” his grandmother took the food from her hands and softly ruffled her hair. The girl loved the quick affection and turned to Hitsugaya with her hand held out.

“Shiro,” she said.

“Huh, my reputation precedes me. You already know my name,” Hitsugaya huffed, quite pleased that he didn’t need to introduce himself…or shake her hand.

“No, it’s your hair. Shiro.” White like snow.

---------------------

“Shiro-chan!!!!” Momo greeted him on his way to the meeting with Commander Yamamoto.

“You won’t be calling me like that for a while, Lieutenant Hinamori.” The rank name rolled off his tongue so easily that it failed to hide his pride for her although admittedly she got promoted way before him. “I’ll be captain now.”

“And the youngest at that!”

He was happy he made the decision to follow her in the Shinigami academy. He beamed back at her, matching her enthusiasm.

---------------------

“Shiro-chan!” Rangiku, his vice-captain, tried to use his nickname once to get out of a mission, but he straight up glowered at her, gave her more tasks, and she decided not to use it anymore.

Following suit were Renji, Ikkaku, and Yumichika who heard Momo use it during the shinigami’s bi-annual assembly. They also expected to get closer to him this way, but they just received a beating from Hyourinmaru,

---------------------

“Shiro-chaaaan.” It was the way she lengthened his nickname that he expected an apology to follow. “I’m sorry I might not make it to our weekend dinner with granny. Captain Aizen needs me for the division training and some paperworks after.”

She smiled apologetically at him, her head tilted to reveal an expression he never resisted. He shrugged nonchalantly. “Sure, of course. I know how it is.”

No, I don’t, because the busiest season in a captain’s administrative duties has just ended, and this was supposed to be a break. But he kept mum because Momo took her tasks seriously, and he respected that.

And perhaps he spoke too soon because she stopped using his nickname and started seeing him less. When the betrayal of Aizen happened, she lost her will to live, and she couldn’t even recognize him.

He would stand at the door of her room in the hospital, afraid to move closer and see the blankness in her eyes, until Unohana brought him a chair to sit on by Momo’s bedside. He relented and positioned himself above her head where she couldn’t see his face and mistake him for her traitorous captain, just close enough to still hear her breathing, close enough to feel the warmth of her skin, of her being alive.

---------------------

“Shiro-chan.” Her black strands were free from her low bun. Nowhere to be found was the Hinamori in the hospital who needed to take therapy and counseling. No more signs of dark circles, chapped lips, and bare bones. She looked better now.

And the nickname only she was allowed to use arrested all his senses, and he stood suspended in a bubble of emotions as he welcomed the sensation of coming home.

“Shiro-chan?” She called out again, and his nickname beckoned him over to her orbit. “Does it look weird?” Her fingers touched the ends of her hair, obviously getting self-conscious of his stare.

“No, it….it suits you.” He proceeded to tease her. “Reminds me of the old days, bed-wetter Momo.”

She slapped him lightly on the arm, and he laughed, happy to have her back.

[pandorasv13updates]

Hello~ I just want to thank you for the cute tags you wrote when you reblogged my Hitsuhina one shot today =D It pleased me a lot ! Wish you a good weekend !

No thank YOU for writing content of them!! I'm a total simp for hitsuhina crumbs 😭😭😭

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

A Part of You

Hitsuhina Weekend - Day 2: Stars / Morning / Zanpakuto / Teamwork

Prompts: Zanpakuto, Acceptance

Rating: T for mild themes and mentions of violence.

Setting: between the end of the Arrancar arc and the beginning of the Fullbringer arc

Synopsis: Momo puts another piece of the past to rest.

AN: I’ve wanted to write this story for a while, but seeing the prompts for the Hitsuhina Weekend and for @yearoftheotpevent's challenge finally got me to do it.

If there’s one [of many] things I think needs to be expanded upon in BLEACH universe it’s zanpakuto etiquette. We've seen Shinigami characters treat their zanpakuto differently, from some seeing it as just a weapon to others having a close bond with the spirit tied to their sword. So what happens if another person touches it or shatters it? How deeply and personally do they feel when something like that happens?

I listened to music that reminded me of water for this one, including Dying Planet by Parallel Highway, A Letter by Clem Leek, The Latter Rain Patio by Will Lewis, and Belong by The Living Sleep, so I recommend any one of these songs while reading this fic if you’re interested.

Also, Momo names a few confectionery treats here:

 Siberia cake: a sponge cake with a sweet bean jelly filling.

Chinsuko: it’s like a shortbread biscuit, made form lard and flour with a mild and sweet flavor. A friend of mine brought these back from Japan as a gift once.

Kusa mochi: a sweet mixed with the leaves of the mugwort plant. 

Botamochi: a sweet mixed with red bean paste. It’s traditionally made during spring and autumn/fall.

Ichigo daifuku: a sweet with a redbean paste filling and a strawberry stuffed in the middle.

Anyhow, hope you all enjoy this one!

___________________________

Toshiro blinks down at the box full of sweets. “You…really went all out.”

Heat rushes up to Momo's face. Had she gone overboard? “Well, ever since I left the Fourth Division, I’ve wanted to get back into baking. With the Shinigami Women’s Association bake sale, I thought it’d be a good excuse to try out a few recipes I wanted to do quite some time now.”

“Don’t they make enough money off of calendars already?”

She only gives him a pointed stare in response to his snarky comment. After a beat, she names off each sweet in the box. “This is sibera, those are chinsuko, and those are some mochi. The green ones are kusa mochi, the maroon ones are botamochi, and the white ones are ichigo daifuku.”

He only reacts to the latter, and she suspects it’s due to Ichigo Kurosaki. At his otherwise lack of a response, she sighs. “Did I go overboard? Maybe I only should have made the mochi and got Rangiku-san and Nanao-san to try the other sweets.”

He quirks up a brow. “I don’t just like mochi and amanatto.”

She can’t help but smile. “Well, you do tend to gravitate towards those, so…”

He shakes his head. “It’s fine, I’ll try all of these.”

“Thank you, Shiro-chan!”

“Call me that again and I’ll give everything a bad review.”

“You can be so mean,” she half-teases.

He only grumbles, but takes up a slice of the siberia. He takes a decent bite out of it and chews. She can’t help but watch him to gauge his reaction, and he makes it a point to look away to the garden in front of them. Nothing gives away his judgement as he munches on the cake. Did it always take him this long to chew his food? Was he doing this on purpose? Or had she not cooked the cake well?

Then, he swallows and makes an approving grunt. “It’s good.”

Momo grins in relief and pushes the box towards him; it's about as high a compliment as she can typically get from Toshiro with her baking. “You like it? Feel free to have some more.”

 “You’re not going to have any?” he asks before biting into his slice again.

Momo shrugs. “I might have one of the mochi later, but I want to see what you make of everything first. I don’t think I can judge what I bake very well. Can you tell me what you like about it? Just so I know what I got right.”

Toshiro opens his mouth to speak, but he’s interrupted by a knock from the door behind them. Momo gives him a questioning tilt of her head, and his response is a deepening of his frown. He lowers the remains of sibera slice down to his lap and twisted around. “Yes?”

The door slides open to reveal Minagwa, Tenth Division’s third seat, kneeling. He bows his head. “I’m sorry to interrupt sir, but the group you sent to the seventh north district have returned. They have a debrief ready for you.”

Toshiro looks back to Momo. Seeing the glimmer of guilt in his gaze, Momo smiles. “Did you need to go speak with them?”

He nods stiffly. “It’s an investigation we’ve been waiting on for a while.”

He shoves the rest of his sibera slice into his mouth and chews quickly. She can’t help but list her head fondly to one side; it made him look oddly childish and it’s typical of him to not waste anything he’s started on.

Minagawa gives Momo an apologetic look, and is about to speak up, until Toshiro turns back to him “Where are they right now?” he asks while rising from the veranda.

The third seat follows suit and stands. “Out the front, sir.”

To Momo, Toshiro says, “I’ll be back soon.”

She waves her hand. “It’s all right, take your time. Captain Hirako ordered me to take a longer break.”

“What is it with his lax orders?” he says under his breath. However, unlike other times he criticized her captain, there's no annoyance in his tone.

Toshiro and Minagawa leave, closing the door behind them. Momo stares after them for a moment, sensing Toshiro’s reiatsu get further and further away.

Eventually, she turns back to the gardens. Tenth Division always kept such small but tidy gardens, suitable for jinzen or private conversations. This one happens to be her favourite, filled with colourful flowers and tall trees that shade most of the area. Had she ever told Toshiro this was her favourite? Is that why he often brought her here for their shared lunch breaks?

As the sun spills through the parting clouds, she munches on an ichigo daifuku, more out of boredom than hunger. Despite feeling like she can’t judge her own cooking, the daifuku turned out rather good in her opinion. Chewing on the last of the sweet, she goes for a kusa mochi.

As she does, it becomes hard to ignore the glint of Hyourinmaru’s hilt in her peripheral.

She risks swallowing with a tightened throat and winces as her food goes down. Haltingly, she lifts her gaze to the zanpakuto propped against the nearest wooden beam. Now focused on it, she senses the chill thrumming from it in slow waves, just barely brushing against the side of her leg.

She knows the blade’s cold all too well. How it burned through her chest and in her veins, as if freezing her from the inside out. She grimaces at the dull throb in her chest. A remembrance, still raw enough to make her lean away from the zanpakuto, hand clutches where it had cut through her. She closes her eyes and breathes, just like how Isane taught her to.

Unlike what she’d been instructed to do however, she keeps her eyes open, unable to look away from the zanpakuto. Toshiro sometimes went to training after their lunch breaks, it’s the only reason he brings his zanpakuto along. She never told him how unnerved seeing the blade made her at times, feeling it was something she and she alone had to deal with. Why worry him with something he can’t control?

The door slides open, startling her.

“Apologies, it was important that I…” Toshiro trails off when his eyes land on her. She isn’t sure what her expression shows, but it’s enough to make him stop mid-step.

Without meaning to, she glances at Hyourinmaru. It all comes together for her childhood friend, his eyes narrowing at his zanpakuto. Momo had a feeling he knew something was wrong this whole time. Since they started having the occasional lunch break together, he would look at her for a second in a certain way, as if assessing her to make sure she was all right. Other times he'd try to obscure Hyourinmaru from her sight somehow as they ate. Even today, he'd knelt in front of his weapon, with only the hilt visible behind his head and blocking her from the cold it emitted.

She's brought out of her thoughts when Toshiro curses under his breath. He steps out from the doorway towards Hyourinmaru. “I didn’t -”

“It’s okay,” she’s quick to reassure, throwing her hands up. “Really, it’s okay.”

He’s unconvinced, not once taking his eyes off her and he comes to stand between her and his zanpakuto. He’s putting her first, making sure she doesn’t feel unsafe.

Something that makes her chest tighten. The weapon is a manifestation of his soul, a part of him. If she’s always going to be apprehensive towards his zanpakuto, then it’s not different from being fearful of him. He shouldn’t have to shield her from a part of himself.

She wills herself to calm the faint tremors. “May I…see Hyourinmaru up close?”

Toshiro’s eyes widen with a confused grunt. “What?”

She has nothing for him, unable to believe she had spoken the request out loud.  At his continued stare and lack of response, she starts to lose her nerve. “Forget it.”

His frown returns, though now it's out of confusion. He lowers himself back to a kneel on the veranda. “Why do you want to look at Hyourinmaru?”

“It’s…It’s hard to explain. I think it’ll help somehow with coming to terms with what happened.”

“Are you sure?”

It’s rare to see him so uncertain, and she hates that this is his reaction. It’s all the more reason she needs to do this.

She lifts her legs off the edge of the veranda and folds them legs underneath to fully turn to him. Her heart races, but she schools her expression to one of calm and gives him a firm nod.

His gaze lingers for several heartbeats, searching for something within her. Whether he finds what he’s looking for or not, he still twists to Hyourinmaru and clasps his sheath with both hands. He’s slow to bring the weapon out and lay it before her, as if giving her time to back out. In response, she moves the box of sweets out of the way, a space now clear to lay the weapon down between them.

The ‘clink’ the blade makes once the sword on the floorboards is the only sound to break the tense silence. This has been the closet she’s been to zanpakuto since being in the Fake Karakura Town. She bites the inside of her mouth when the memories of that day threaten to come forward.

She focuses her attention on Hyourinmaru’s details, from the four-pointed hilt guard to the dark blue scabbard. It’s always had a certain elegance to it, though not in the traditional sense like Senbonzakura or even Sode no Shiraiyuki. It came from how ancient it felt, having been honed from one wielder down to the next. Perhaps it’s why it’s as long as it is.

There was a time where she found it a little funny the blade was too long for her childhood friend to carry on his hip. In time, she came to wonder if the sword was meant for someone older. Toshiro had unlocked his potential at such a young age, she couldn’t help but wonder once if maybe he should have waited until he was a little older.

A fresh wave of cold wafts over her. With the blade this close, the chill it emits reminds her of Toshiro’s reiatsu whenever she’s next to him. It swirls around him, as gentle as a winter breeze, settling coolly on her skin and uniform. It’s never been unpleasant to her.

So drawn in by that familiar reiatsu and as in a trance, Momo reaches for the blade. At Toshiro’s confused grunt, she stills, and then snaps her hand back to her lap. “I’m sorry! I don’t, um…”

He looks at her like she’s grown a third eye.

Before she can explain herself, he tilts his head downward. It’s imperceptible, a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moment, but she can tell he’s communicating with his zanpakuto. His eyes briefly take on a hazy quality, as if he’s fallen somewhere into the back of his mind deep in thought. Had her action disturbed Hyourinamru?

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. “I got ahead of myself without thinking.”

Toshiro seems to only half hear her, still stuck in his inner conversation with Hyourinmaru. She waits in nervous silence, fearful she may have offended the zanpakuto spirit or even Toshiro.

It differs from Shinigami to Shinigami, but zanpakuto wielders could get personal about another touching their weapon. Whether it was a fear that another would somehow damage it or because to touch it is to sense a part of the wielder’s soul, each Shinigami had their limitation for others touching their weapon.

Eventually, Toshiro lifts his head back to her. It’s as though he’s come to a heavy decision, one loaded with a lot of potential risk.

“Will it help you?” he asks. At her surprised blinking, he clarifies. “If it will help, you can touch Hyrouinmaru.”

Her shoulders drop in shock. He’d really allow this? Of all the Shinigami she knows, he is willing to let her touch his zanpakuto? She’s never had to touch Hyourinmaru or ever been tempted to, but she always imagined Toshiro would find it hurtful if someone tried to outside of combat or training.

She purses her lips, hating the uncertainty bubbling up within her. “I don’t know for certain. I just know that I can’t keep feeling this way towards Hyourinmaru.”

Toshiro's gaze softens. “You don’t have to push yourself.”

Momo had heard that so many times, from Shinigami in the Fourth Division and form all her friends. Shinji had told her a few times too, but it was only once he could see she was visibly upset by something that happened – usually to do with Aizen and remembering something from her past with him. She knows everyone means well when they tell her, but she doesn’t want to remain stagnant. She can handle more than she could before.

“If it’s truly all right with both of you…then please let me try. If not, then that’s okay too. Please don’t push yourself.”

He doesn’t react to his own words being said back him. “Hyourinmaru feels it’s only right that you do, after what happened.”

That shocks her even more. She’s left speechless for a moment, only able to look between Toshiro and Hyourinmaru. The zanpakuto spirit wants this too?

Trepidation jumps through her, making her heart race and her body want to freeze. She forces her hand forward.

The closer she reaches, the colder the chill becomes. Despite the quivering that comes more from anxiety than the cold, she isn’t deterred. With her heart racing and her eyes unblinking, she touches the scabbard.

She gasps at the freezing cold. It’s like her fingertips are dipped in the running water of a river just as the ice is starting to thaw. She can’t help but shiver, and she has to flash Toshiro a reassuring smile when he leans forward, ready to snatch the weapon away.

She stays with the cold, let’s her shaking calm with each breath she takes. It’s like the water has risen to surround her, but it doesn’t drown her. It doesn’t burn her either, like it had when the blade pierced through her chest. It’s like winter winds, the invisible waves of cold ice gives off, and the snowfall in the Junrinan. It’s harsh and soft at the same time. It’s only then she realises she’s closed her eyes.

Beyond the cold, there are swells of emotion. To her surprise, she senses she can go beneath the surface, tread further into the cold and discover how Toshiro feels in this moment and towards things happening his life. There are so few barriers in her way.

It strikes her again that Toshiro is allowing her to do this, to sense how he feels and what lies deep within his being. It’s more vulnerable than when one opens up with their words or actions, it’s truly getting to the heart of a person in its most raw form. To discover it may change how one sees the other, or it may break the person who allowed them to tread so far in.

And in understanding that vulnerability she doesn’t even entertain the idea of going further in; his feelings are his own, for him to express to her or not, and she will wait on the surface for whatever Hyourinmaru wants to convey her now.

Slowly, guilt floats up to her. It’s heavy, carrying the weight of two. So even after forgiving him when it wasn’t needed, Toshiro still feels responsible for what happened. On it’s tail is a wordless apology, as if a great force is bowing before her, asking for her forgiveness.

She shallows against the lump forming in her throat and blinks her eyes open.

It was nothing compared to what would’ve laid beneath he surface of Hyourinmaru’s connction to Toshiro, but she feels the need to make a confession of her own. “As I said before, it wasn’t your fault, you weren’t to know. It may take me a while to fully accept it, but I know I don’t have to be scared of you.” A small smile lifts the corners of her lips. “You’ve always been there for Hitsugaya-kun, since all the way back in the Junrinan. I knew he’d go to the Academy, one day, I could barely sense something within him, and that was you.”

In her peripheral, Toshiro straightens, but she doesn’t take her gaze from Hyourinmaru.

“I’ve seen the way you fight together,” she continues, “it’s inspiring to witness a connection like yours. It’s even inspired Tobiume and I to bond with each other when I was training to obtain my Shikai.” She bows her head to the sword. “Thank you for keeping Hitsugaya-kun safe.”

There’s a pulse, an like echo from a canyon. Gratitude, she realises with a widened smile. She only nods in response. Then, as slowly as she can, she curls her fingers away from the scabbard, and the connection fades. Her heart is at eases with the fading of the cold all around her.

She bows her head again, this time to Toshiro. “Thank you for letting me do that.”

He says nothing, doesn’t even shift. Perhaps it had been too much for him, for to even just graze a part of his inner self. She has an apology ready on her lips, but he speaks.

"Did it help?"

His voice is quiet, maybe even on the verge of quivering. It's like the day they reconciled, when he spoke in low tones and eventually lost the battle against the emotions raging through him. Unlike then, his gaze isn't tumultuous. There's worry, but also a calmness she hadn't seen in him for quite some time.

Following the same instinct that had led her to reaching out to Hyourinmaru in the first place, she takes on his hands and smiles. She can't give him a verbal answer, too overcome with what she'd experience, but she hopes this is enough to tell him.

She can’t forget the burning of the ice in her chest, just as she can’t forget that horrible day in its entirety. It will live on in her, but it’ll become an echo one day, of a time long gone and a pain long forgiven.

[hitsuhina-week]

DON'T FORGET YOU STILL HAVE TODAY TO POST FOR THE HITSUHINA WEEKEND

Today's the last day to post anything for the Hitsuhina Weekend! Hope to see your submissions on here :D

[hitsuhina-week]

Hitsuhina Gift Exchange - Planning

Hi everyone,

I'm thinking of hosting a gift exchange on a weekend in December (a poll will be released shortly with the dates to vote on).

It'd be the same as previous years, with no allocated theme and everyone who participates will be randomly allocated to someone to create a gift for based on what the person has requested.

If you're interested in participating, please respond to this post either by reblogging or commenting your interest by Friday November 17.

If I can get at least four people interested in participating, I can host the event. By the time this gets posted, I'll be on my break, but when I return in late November, I'll get planning!

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

Planning the year ahead

Hi everyone,

So, I'm going to try something I don't normally do: be organized and plan the year ahead!

I love to host events for the hitsuhina community, and I really enjoyed doing an event for the broader BLEACH community last year over at @celebratebleach. So far, this is how I am seeing the year ahead so far:

Hitsuhina Day or Hitsuhina Weekend - late February or early March (25th-26th Feb or 4th-5th March)

Hitsuhina Week - sometime in June or July, with option of making it a two week event (5th-11th June, 2th-18th June, 26th Jun - 2nd July, or 3rd - 9th July)

An event to celebrate the start of the anime's second cour? - sometime in July

Hitsuhina Gift Exchange - December, over a few days in the week before Christmas (18th - 24th Dec)

I would love to know your thoughts on any of these events, whether it's dates or event ideas.

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

I posted 2,272 times in 2022

That's 568 more posts than 2021!

151 posts created (7%)

2,121 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@im-still-bleach

@bleachbleachbleach

@dont-look-up

@hitsugaya-toushirou

@canariie

I tagged 2,256 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#bleach - 313 posts

#hitsuhina - 230 posts

#toshiro hitsugaya - 227 posts

#ichigo kurosaki - 178 posts

#queue - 126 posts

#momo hinamori - 112 posts

#byakuya kuchiki - 103 posts

#rukia kuchiki - 96 posts

#asks - 95 posts

#shinji hirako - 93 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#i think there was also a post here a long time ago where someone estimated how long (in hours) momo would've had to be interviewed

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Happy anniversary! After seeing your latest post, I'd like to request another gif dancing post!! Maybe with Grimmjow, Neliel, Orihime, Chad, Yamamoto, Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Shunsui, and Jushiro? 🙏

Thanks anon, this one just as fun to do as the last! Although for a few of these it was harder to find gifs that matched how I see them dancing XD Hope you enjoy it!

Grimmjow

Nel

See the full post

76 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

#4

For my request, could I ask for gifs for how Hitsugaya, Hinamori, Hirako, Mayuri, Renji, and Hisgai dance? Or maybe how each other react to seeing the other dance?

Oh my gosh anon, thank you for sending this one in! I hope you don't mind but I decided to add a few more characters to the ones mentioned above!

Hitsugaya

Hinamori

See the full post

78 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#3

Looking Back: Analysis and Thoughts on Hitsugaya and Hinamori's Recovery

This was all originally going to be part of my headcanon post about how Hitsugaya and Hinamori reconciled after Aizen's defeat(which I will hopefully be posting sometime this weekend), but it became so long and unwieldy that in the end I decided this needed to be a separate post. Here I'll be analysing and giving my thoughts on:

If Hitsugaya and Hinamori reconciled in canon

Why Aizen hated Hitsugaya and Hinamori (looking at what he did to them, who he is, and why I think he treated them the way he did)

Hinamori's injuries and why it took her so long to recover

Hinamori's view of Aizen and how it's changed

Daiguren Hyourinmaru's Completed Form (the result of his training after Aizen's defeat) and how it relates to Hitsugaya's goal of protecting Hinamori

Why am I doing all this analysis in the first place? Well, aside from being for a bit of fun, these were the topics that just came up while I was thinking about how Hitsugaya and Hinamori reconciled. I feel like these all feed into how and when they would reconcile and where their character arcs go from after everything that happened in the Fake Karakura Town arc.

Also, I would like to thank@troius, who's insights have not only made me rethink my view on several characters but also was an inspiration for some of the analysis in this post. I will be mentioning this blog a few times in this post and including insights they have made, but please check out their content if you haven't already; their rereading of BLEACH is so enjoyable to have on the dashboard.

Final note before we get to it: I know I can absolutely go overboard with these kinds of posts, so if you're looking for short and sweet versions my analysis and throughts on the topics I'm covering here, skip to the end for the tl;dr versions.

So, with all of that out of the way, let's get started!

How do we know they’ve reconciled in the first place?

I’ve seen a few fans speculate that maybe Hitsugaya and Hinamori had yet to reconcile by the time the TYBW arc started, mostly based on the fact we don’t see them interacting at all in the last arc. However, the TYBW arc plot being what is was, there really weren't many opportunities for them to interact. With that said, for me there’s proof they have reconciled by then:

13 Blades: coming out in 2015, the databook has sections in the character profiles where a few other Shinigami characters make comments on each other’s profiles. On Hitsugaya’s, Hinamori says her and Hitsugaya have been close friends since they were young and even calls him by his nickname before correcting herself and calling him by his title; as far as I can tell, there’s no past tense used here, so it's not 'we used to be close' or something to that effect. On Hinamori’s, Hitsugaya acknowledges the impact Aizen’s action had on her, but says she’s much better now and asks the interviewer to tell her to refer to him as ‘Captain Hitsugaya’, indicating she still slips up with his name. For me, this means they’re interacting at least, with Hinamori feeling comfortable enough around him that she slips up and calls him by his nickname.

Maybe it's a stretch, but let’s also not forget that in chapter 659 she calls him ‘Shiro-chan’ and shows a great level of concern for him, and in return he gives her a softened look (I know there’s some debate about whether or not he really is looking at her, I must admit on my first reading I didn’t see it that way but on my second read it hit me).

Also, let's not forget she used this nickname during a traumatic moment for both of them, but for me the fact she continues to use it shows it doesn't hold any negative connotations for her.

For me these are indications that they’ve reconciled on some level. They’re interacting with each other, with Hinamori acknowledging they’re close friends and still falling back on old habits regarding how she refers to Hitsugaya. One could argue it might just be out of habit not an indication they've reconciled though, but as she still considers him a close friend, for me it indicates it's probably combination of habit and feeling okay with interacting with him.

It doesn’t indicate to what extent; they might just be good with talking about work-related matters but get uncomfortable when something about what happened in the Fake Karakura Town arises or one of them just can’t get the image of something they did against the other when they’re with them for too long. If this were the case, then it feels realistic. Recovery and reconciliation can take a really long time, and as I’ll be discussing later in the post, Hinamori’s recovery has taken and is still taking a long time, and I imagine on some level it was the same for Hitsugaya.

However, the main point here they have reconciled, and even it's only to a certain extent, it is a step forward to moving on from what they went through.

Why Aizen hated Hinamori and Hitsugaya

See the full post

78 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

#2

The Reconciliation of Hitsugaya and Hinamori: Headcanons

Okay, it’s time. I decided to finally sit down and write all the headcanons and ideas I have around how Toshiro and Momo reconciled after Aizen’s defeat. I’ve scattered a lot of these ideas across my fanfics, with some having come up more than once in different or similar forms.

You can read this as either as platonic Hitsuhina or a shipping post, I really don’t mind either way. There’s also some brotp moments here (Momo and Shinji, Rangiku and Toshiro, and a smattering of others).

However, what started as wanting to make a simple list of headcanons quickly turned into a mega post. Firstly, it turns out I had a lot more headcanons then I thought, and I think it's becomes more of an outline of the events that I headcanon took place in between the end of Fake Karakura Town arc and the Full Bringer arc.

And second, while this post is specifically for headcanons and my ideas based on my interpretation of the source material (mainly the manga), I’ve also done some analysis over in this post (I couldn’t help myself!). The analysis was originally going to be part of this post before it got too long. You don't have to go read that post to know what's going on with the headcanons, but if you're interested and have some time, I would appreciate it if you could check it out!

With that said, let’s get to it!

CONTEXT

Before we go into how I think Toshiro and Momo reconciled, we need to cover a few things that will help with context for some of the headcanons and ideas. These will be short and sweet versions of the analysis I've done in the post I mentioned above, so for the full version you can go look at them over there. However, feel free to skip over this section if you feel like you don't need it:

When did Aizen switch places with Momo?: I’ve talked more about this over in this other post, but in short, I came to the conclusion that Aizen switched places with Momo when Soi Fon went to attack him a second time to activate her shikai ability. However, there’s also the possibility he actually switched places after Soi Fon made her second attack, and while she was shocked and confused by her shikai not working, Aizen put Momo in his illusion’s place on the ice for her to create a shadow and get injured by Kyoraku. This bring me to…

Momo’s injuries and recovery time: during the Fake Karakura Town arc, Momo sustained injuries from Ayon, [potentially] Soi Fon, Kyoraku, and Toshiro. According to Death Save the Strawberry, it took her 4 months after Aizen's defeat to recover in the Fourth Division. Her recovery is the longest amongst the BLEACH cast, with most of the characters who were at the fight against the Espada and Aizen having recovered and returned to their daily lives ten days after Aizen's defeat; at that time Momo was still in the Twelfth Division receiving treatment to repair her internal organs.

Despite what some summaries of Death Save the Strawberry say, I suspect what kept her in Fourth Division was not her physical injuries but the mental trauma she went through during Soul Society and the Fake Karakura Town arcs. I also imagine, certain facets of her personality would make her be hard on herself, like the part of her that's a hard worker and is generally organised and responsible. I can see her feeling pressured to recover, and she wonders why she just can't shake off the melancholy consuming her. There is no captain now, she is the only leadership Fifth Division has, but if she's like this, how can she lead her division to prosper again? Who will be their captain now that Aizen is not only gone but not who she thought he was? Is everyone moving on without her? Why cant she catch up to them?

Then exactly four months after Aizen's defeat, in comes Shinji who tells her what she needs to hear. He essentially says ‘You’re not useless, you’re still a good lieutenant and I think you can help the division prosper again. Your friends aren’t leaving you behind, and I’m not going to either, let’s work together.’ The future is suddenly a bit clearer, enough for her to want to return to her duties and forge a way forward to move on with everyone only a few days after speaking with Shinji. he gives her a goal, guidance if you will, and this sets her on the path to recovery. However, let's not forget that in 13 Blades she not only credit Shinji for her recovery, but also Rangiku, who I imagine had visited her often and helped her return to her lieutenant duties.

Why am I doing all of this?: mainly because over the years I’ve been reading/watching BLEACH, this is the one thing that I have never been able to shake off. I have always wanted to know how these two made up after everything they went through.

On one hand, Kubo not showing us allows fans to imagine whatever they like, creating their own scenarios and headcanons about how it happened (or in some cases, if it even happened at all). On the other, it almost feels like something is missing. Of course, BLEACH is not Momo or Toshiro’s story, they’re side characters who ‘compete’ with other characters for panel/screen time in most chapters/episodes; but as someone who loves both of these characters, seeing these two reconcile and move forward from what happened feels like a vital part of their character development. It’s such a shame we didn’t get to see it in canon.

Also, it’s just fun to write this sort of stuff, it’s what being in fandom is all about, right? :D Now, finally, on to the headcanons!

Side note: if you're someone who likes to listen to music while reading, I would recommend listen to this fantastic playlist of BLEACH songs that I listened to while writing this whole post. Otherwise, find something that's either calming, sad, or both to listen to.

HEADCANONS

PRE AIZEN'S DEFEAT (AKA, THE PAIN, THE PAIN! AKA, PRE FAKE KARAKURA TOWN ARC, THEN CHAPTERS 334-422)

See the full post

95 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ok I've got one. Can I request gif reactions to 10 of the male characters reacting to the Women's Shinigami Association approaching them to do a calendar photo shoot?

Okay but seriously these gif reaction asks are so much fun, keep sending them in everyone!

Shinji

Hisagi

See the full post

107 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

I'd like to suggest the following prompts for Hitsuhina weekend: Future, Safety, Homecoming, Teamwork

Thanks anon! :D

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

Until the Day Comes When it Won't

Hitsuhina Weekend Day 1 - Ice skating / Cooking / Lilac / A rainy day

Setting: In the time between the end of the Full Bringer and Thousand Year Blood War arcs.

Rating: T for violence

Synopsis: Momo remembers the day that changed her life forever, and wonders when it won't affect her anymore.

AN: Hitsuhina Weekend is here! For today, I’m going with a short angsty piece, one that has been on my mind lately. I hope you enjoy it!

_______________________________________

She catches herself starring at the spot only after the rain starts. She ducks under the cover of the roof awning just in time. The downpour drops the temperature a few degrees and slams into the floorboards.

Despite how thick the sheets of rain are though, they don’t obscure her view of towering white wall a short distance from her.

How long had she been standing here just starring at where everything had changed?

The memory floats to the surface, still too vivid for her liking. Of his ‘corpse’ pinned high up by his own sword, his blood fanned out across his uniform and seeped down the wall like a grotesque flower. Her world had shattered, had hollowed out and made no sense.

She closes her eyes and focuses on the rain. The violent image fades back into the dark, but her heart still clenches. She wants to be better, to be beyond these emotions and thoughts that weigh her down. Having a new captain helped in a way, helped convince her to move on for the sake of her division and for her heart. She knew ‘it takes time’ to heal, but when would she get better completely though? It feels like a faraway hope, something she can sometimes barely see in the distance.

It’s at times like this she wished she were older, having the experience needed to deal with these feelings and thoughts.

“Oi, Hinamori.”

She startles, her eyes flying open and her fist pressing into her chest. It takes her a second to register who stands before her, arms folded and wet hair dipping under the weight of rain.

“Shi…I mean, Captain Hitsugaya,” she fumbles out.

“What’re you doing here?” His question is gentle, not demanding a complete answer from her.

“I was on my way to the joint meeting, but then the rain started, and…” She wants to tell him, but she still isn’t ready. They’d reconciled, were able to look each other in the eye without any awkwardness, but she can’t tell him right now.

Toshiro looks out at the rain. “Is it that bad?”

Of course the rain doesn’t bother Toshiro, never has. She allows a rueful smile. “It just suddenly happened so I went under cover.”

He doesn’t turn back to look at her though. Did he remember what happened here too? She can’t imagine that he’d forgotten.

If it weren’t for what happened here, both of them would have thought of this as just being any other section of the Seireitei. There’s nothing that makes it stand out, no division insignias or monuments or evidence of what happened more than a year ago. The blood on the wall have been scrubbed off after they took down the ‘corpse’, and the damage to the floorboards - one large gash caused by Tobiume’s fireball and the other Toshiro had made when he forced Tobiume into the ground with his foot - had been mended.

Momo swallows against the tightness building up in her throat. “I just realized, I never…” I never apologized for what happened that day. He turns back to her.

After discovering ‘Aizen’ dead, she’d done regrettable things, had apologized for all of them to everyone involved. It was essentially the same response from everyone though: there’s no need to apologise, I understand why it happened and we made it out the other side; I’m glad we’re both still here.

So no, she won’t apologise again. She’ll take the next step. “It was here when you came between Kira-kun and I. Back then, you saved us from hurting each other, even though you could have gotten hurt too. I’ve never thanked you for stepping in.”

Toshiro blinks slowly, gaze softening and falling down to floor. For a moment neither speak, the only sound is the rain pattering on the awning and floorboards.

“There’s nothing to thank me for,” he eventually says. His shoulders sink with a short exhale. “Truth is, I’ve…I’ve wondered if I could have handled it better, if somehow…”

He stops, bowing his head lower. It always takes a lot for him to admit his thoughts and feelings, and right now she can tell he had said more than he wanted. Her chest tightens at the regret he clearly felt. Was it the warnign he gave her about the third division? He couldn't have known she would heed it in that moment. Was it that he locked her and Izuru away? He couldn't have known that she would try to break out after reading the letter. She can tell him these things, but she can't assume what he regrets.

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty, Hitsugaya-kun. None of us knew what was happening or what was going to happen. I regret even raising my sword against Izuru, and then later against you. So, regardless of everything that came after the moment, thank you for stopping me from doing something else I would have regretted.” When he says nothing, she continues, “We can’t change the past, no matter how much we want to.”

He looks up, frown deepening and eyes full of uncertainty. She’d said the same thing when he finally came to see her after her recovery. She’d already apologized to Toshiro for other things, and he had in turn for her. Forgiveness was given where either of them felt it wasn’t needed in the first place, but it helped. It helped Momo in being the first step forward, even if it mightn’t completely stop those memories from completely affecting her.

She sighs. “We can only live in the present and walk forward, right? I’ve apologized to you for so many things, and some part of me may always regret what I did, but from now on, I also want to be thankful.” She smiles at him. “I’ve realized I have a lot to be thankful for, and I should give my thanks more often.”

She knows the implication hit its mark when his eyes widen a fraction. The things they’d done against each other months ago hurt, but it’s nothing compared to the gratitude she feels for having him in her life.

Aizen had changed her life, but he wasn’t the only one. The captain before her had done that long before him. When she met him, when they were children in the Junrinan on that winter night, her life was never the same since. It got the point where she can’t imagine a life without him being a constant, there at most stages of her life. There are only a few others who knew her from before her Academy days and were still around. He's been there through the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, and everything in-between, he’s been there, close by and far away.

After a moment, certainty returns to his eyes, but he also sighs and unfolds his arms to scratch the back of his neck, an old habit of his. “I guess that’s a good mindset to have.” He turns from her. “Come on, we should get to the meeting, we’ll be late.”

He always has a hard time accepting positive sentiment about him, and given the regret he still feels about certain actions he took, she imagines it will take him a while to fully accept this is how she felt towards him.

Just as he hadn't questioned her further about why she'd stopped, she won't question him further now. "Yeah, let's go."

They walk under awning, the wall in her peripheral until they turn to the left and her back faces it.

It’s become more and more apparent to Momo that the moments where one’s life is changed often happen in places that are mundane or familiar to them rather than in grand scenes or dramatic locations like in the books she used to read. It's reality, she knows.

One day that wall will not have an impact on her. One day she will walk by it and realise hours later that she hadn’t stopped and starred at it or even thought about what memories it held for her.

She can't become a resilient adult unless she has experiences with what troubles her or the support of others. Impatient as she is at times, she knows it’s a step at time, sometimes by herself and other times with her friends, whether it's by her side or from afar.