#his waving and pistol spinning animations charmed me

[xchdraws]

professor Kruglov³ (in the corner. in the spotlight)

[sunriseoverastorea]

Kind Strangers

♬ Jeremy Soule - In the Forests of Tamriel

Morning dawns too early. The hard wooden floor aches against her festering burns, but she pushes herself up, breathing heavily from the effort, and blinks bleary, crusty eyes into the darkened room. The fire has gone out, completely extinguished, and the light from the windows adds little shape and form at this hour. Silence sits heavy in the cottage, weighing down the boughs of herbs hung from the ceiling, a basket heaped with clothing by the back door, her fallen apple from the night before where it sits beneath the table, forgotten, browning.

She listens for the sound of breathing. Instead, the rustle of grass answers her question.

Lurching to her feet, the shadowy room spins around her, and she nearly falls against the door as she rushes towards it, throwing it open and racing after her captives. Under normal circumstances, she could easily catch up—Maegan moves swiftly despite her hefty skirts, perhaps twenty paces away, but Tomas slows her down. She pulls him along by the hand, until she hears the bang of the front door, and then she picks the boy up and runs, feet crunching in the frosty grass.

Marea slips and slides in the dampness, pain blinding her, vision peppered with shifting splotches of black as she fights to keep up. Agonizing minutes seem to pass by, but in fact, it is only a few seconds—she flings herself at Maegan, latching onto the back of her shirt, and they both collapse to the ground, Tomas flung aside as the women grapple for dominance, briefly rolling about before Marea's prosthetics take control, forcing Maegan down by the shoulders with her steely grip.

“Thought I said I didn't wanna kill you,” Marea pants, smiling thinly, eyes wide and wild.

“You think I'm a fool? You always planned on killing us. I could see it in your face. You're a madwoman,” Maegan hisses, snarling even as she stares death in the eye. “You're a monster.”

“No news to me.” Marea shrugs slightly, shifting her right hand to Maegan's throat, and lifting her left in the air, flexing the fingers stiffly before settling them into a tight fist. “But if what you say is true, this is a whole new world, a fresh start, and I can be whatever I want to be. So thanks for nothing.”

With one swing of her left arm, Maegan's face is splattered in the dewy dawn grass.

Marea's heart leaps into her throat as a single crack of thunder rings out in the clearing. A bullet whizzes past her, flying uselessly into the distance, and she slowly raises her hands in the air, turning to face Tomas as she gets to her feet. The little boy stands ten feet away, trembling, tears glistening on his cheeks, Marea's pistol held aloft in his hands.

“Oh, c'mon. Put it down,” Marea says softly, trying to sound comforting, though her voice wavers from exhaustion. “You won't wanna live with yourself after you do that. I killed somebody when I was your age. Hard to cope with.”

The boy begins to bawl, sobbing without restraint, face screwed up in a terrible expression of desolation. Marea takes a few steps towards him, hands tentatively outstretched for the gun, when a shot rings out yet again. It dents and dings off her left arm, and she throws caution to the wind, charging forward as Tomas fires off one last bullet, which connects—it embeds itself in her thigh, and she yelps and collapses in pain, right on top of him, wrenching the gun from his hands with ease and shoving it down his throat. She pulls the trigger, and it clicks. Empty.

A quick, clear snap echoes in the clearing, like a sapling tree felled in the cold of winter. She gets to her feet, and she limps back to the cottage, windows dark and gaping. With the iron sky above her, stars faded but sun not yet risen, she feels a strange, sudden closeness around her. Similar to her connection with magic in Tyria—but certainly not the same. Only one word comes to mind, but she knows that it is just longing, for familiarity, for certainty, a longing which she has never felt before, and she knows she will soon forget.

“Grenth,” she says into the cool, lifeless air. “If you can hear me—don't let my journey be like this.”

And she opens the door to the cottage, slipping behind stone walls.

The time before sunrise is a checklist. She ventures upstairs, where the sleeping quarters are. The Ferny's had fine furniture, for peasants, and she goes through an ornate wooden wardrobe, searching for clothes that will fit her. Maegan's stockings and a long blouse with flouncy sleeves will do, then she takes a thin summer skirt and rips a slit straight up the side, making it mobile. She slips on the woman's spare boots, old and worn, a bit too big, and then she whimpers in pain as she climbs on the bed to reach the sword that hangs above it. She yanks the weapon from its fastenings on the wall, inspecting it briefly. Blade dull but highly ornamented, with swirling vines adorned by grapes, and a hefty hilt with an elegant guard. An heirloom, most likely, that could be easily sharpened into fighting shape again.

In a large chest at the foot of the bed, she finds books. She flips through the pages, covered in foreign lettering, beautiful to behold but still utter nonsense, much like the accents of the people who wrote them. She takes the smallest downstairs with her, some entertainment for the road.

She picks up her apple from beneath the table and chomps away at the mushy flesh. Out behind the cottage, she goes to the small stables and throws the gates open, setting loose goats and pigs and a couple cows, along with one strange animal that almost fills her with joy, only to steal it away so cruelly. It hobbles out last, slightly too fat and making a ridiculous honking sound. At a glance, it appears to be a small horse—a pony, she recalls, is the word—but its legs are much too stout, and its face too round and homely. It brays at her loudly, trying to rub its snout against her own, and she clumsily pivots and strides away with a groan, rolling her eyes.

“You're a fucking liar, y'know that? You're a lying—thing. Heehaw. Lying Heehaw.”

As the sunrise fills the sky with verdant amber light, turning wisps of clouds blue and making the dewy grass glitter, Marea drags two bodies back to the cottage, depositing them in the kitchen with little thought for staging their deaths. Maegan would have had to bang her face against the wall with the force of an airship to mangle it the way Marea's hand did.

And as the beginnings of blue glow upon the horizon, Marea limps through the forest, and emerges in the quiet, green clearing where she arrived. She rummages through the debris thoroughly. She digs a small hole with a piece of scrap metal, and into it goes most of what remains, which she cannot carry—a few books, charred but intact. Her kitty pistol, partially melted. A bag of jerky, just in case. Then she lodges the piece of sheet metal over them, like a protective cover, Horiz staring up at her in the dirt. And she brushes leaves over the grave.

She returns to the homestead as sun floods the fields, a fine mist rising from them and soothing her aching, tormented flesh. The Heehaw honks at her, and now she obligingly goes to it, just barely heaving herself onto its back. The bullet in her thigh pulses with pain, and as she settles into place, the weight finally off her legs, she sighs in relief.

She isn't sure how to steer the Heehaw, but it seems to know where she wants to go. It immediately starts north, and after less than an hour, it clomps onto a middling dirt road, smooth and well-traveled, though on this day, it's as empty as the stone cottage she leaves behind. A sense of peace overcomes her. The sun warm on her neck. In her backpack, a book, Gippa's notes, a handful of jerky, her eye piece, her M pistol and the bullets she rescued from her kitty gun, all sit heavily upon her burned shoulders. The Ferny family sword bumps against her hip, hung from Frank Ferny's ill-fitting belt.

And the Heehaw clops onward, into uncertain lands. She watches the trees for a while, their long arms lacing overhead. Until, after a time, she closes her eyes, and she slumps forward onto the head of her mount, arms swaying in time with its steps.

Physician Telford saw little excitement in his little town of Archet. Most of his days were spent idle in the doorway to his practice, chatting with Hosta, a fine and charming housewife who sold baked sweets in the next building over. She would lean out her window, waving her hand and asking if he wanted a slice of fresh apple pie. And of course he did, for what else was he to do? Treat the occasional spider bite? Admittedly, the spiders in the area were monstrously huge, but at least they did not rend and maim as creatures in faraway lands did.

So, Hosta would bring him a slice of pie, and they would pick over it together on his porch. She would sit upon the water barrel to be at eye level with him, and they'd have a good chat, about husbands and wives, humans and hobbits, the state of the town and the surrounding estates. And then they would part, and Telford would watch from his shopfront as the sun sank lower in the sky, and yet another day of contentment passed by him.

But today, as he goes outside and waits for Hosta to wave from her window, he turns the other way in surprise, wide-eyed, as he watches the little lady and a handful of men leading a donkey down the street, with the petite shape of a person slumped upon it.

“What is this? An injured traveler?” he exclaims, jogging down the lane to meet them.

“Yes Mr. Telford, so it seems. She's a woman, wee small thing, and in terrible shape.” Hosta reaches up and pats the woman's leg, recoiling as her hand comes away damp with blood that has soaked through the stranger's stockings. “Bill here says she's been badly burned, and her skin is all clammy. Reckon she needs your immediate attention.”

“Of course, right away!” Telford stays a step ahead of the men as they lift the woman off her donkey, and carry her through the low doorway into the physician's shop. He darts around frenetically, wringing his hands, eager to help and overwhelmed that his help is truly needed.

He watches attentively as the woman is laid on the patient bed, and then he shoos the others away with a waving of his hands. “Out, out, this requires my full attention. Hosta, however, can stay. As my assistant.”

“I certainly can,” the woman says proudly, not at all ashamed with her own morbid fascination for the unconscious body in the room. She shuffles up to the bedside, resting her elbows on the mattress as she stares at the strange woman's face.

“Looks like she's been through a lot in the past, even before this. Poor little thing, women should not be made into fighters, I always say. There's enough men to do it themselves.”

“Yes, well, some women simply want to fight,” Telford replies absently, fishing supplies from a series of cupboards along the wall, and then sweeping over to his patient, carefully shifting the fabric of her skirt, and then her stockings, until her harrowed flesh is exposed to the air. Hosta gags a bit, but doesn't look away.

“What do you think happened to her?” the halfling gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. “Did she fall into a bonfire?”

“That, and more. She seems to have some sort of puncture wound as well, and that's only the legs. No doubt there will be more to come—perhaps I should not have asked you to stay.”

“No, I can handle it. I'll keep my mouth shut, if need be.”

“Thank you,” Telford replies with a gentle smile, reaching up to the woman's neck and examining an utterly destroyed piece of black cloth that hangs there, more of a frayed, singed rag than a bandana. “Later, when this is taken care of, we can eat a whole pie. And we'll share it with the girl, too.”

Later comes after many hours. Marea opens her eyes, blurry at first. A low, wooden-beamed ceiling comes into focus, and she glances to her left, across the room, where a window, made hazy by bubbled glass, lets the festive warmth of a sunset stretch upon the floor and flow over her pillow. She distinguishes two chattering shapes sitting on stools by that window. They speak in hushed voices, one quite a familiar form, a man of average build, perhaps a tad short. He towers over the silhouette across from him, with the long curly hair of a woman, and a much stouter stature. The height of an asura, maybe, with feet like a platypus's, and a covered bundle on her lap.

Marea abruptly sits up, gritting her teeth and ignoring the flaring of pain in her shoulders and back.

“Oh no, no no no! Not so fast, my dear!” exclaims the asura-sized shape, quickly hopping down from her stool and rushing over to Marea. “Be gentle with yourself, you have been gravely injured in most unusual ways.”

Marea stares at the little woman for a long moment, incessant dotage rising and falling in the background without ever being heard. Finally, as the man comes up beside the bed and rests his hand against her forehead, Marea speaks.

“You're a dwarf.”

The woman immediately goes silent, for quite a long moment, before bursting into laughter, throwing her head back and slapping the man's knee.

“Oh, did you catch that, Telford? No brain damage there, still got her sense of humor!”

“My sense of—what?”

“Just ignore her,” Telford interjects, nudging his companion aside as he stoops down beside Marea's bed. He reaches for her wrist, before catching himself, and placing his fingers to a pulse point on her neck instead. “Hosta is a dear friend of mine. But perhaps not the best bedside manner.”

Marea blinks at him, at the warm touch of his hands on her patch of unburned skin. She looks down at herself, wrapped to the waist in clean white sheets, and the rest of her torso wrapped in bandages. Her prosthetics are out in the open, and the doctor seems not to care.

“You—understand me?” Even as she asks, she feels the round, elegant slant of the words on her tongue. Rajya always said she was a fast learner, a gift for language, when she applied herself.

Telford raises his brows, tilting his head this way and that. “More or less. You certainly sound like nothing I've ever heard before. Are you some adventurer, then? And tell me, when I knock on this side of your head, how does it feel?”

“It kinda hurts—”

“—The south! I bet you come from the south, on those fabled shores,” interjects Hosta, curls bobbing as she yammers on, “We never see anyone from that far away, all the way up here. But you look like sea-faring stock.”

“...Yeah. I'm from the south,” Marea says flatly, flinching as Telford proceeds to knock on the other side of her head. “If that's, that's what you said.”

“Perhaps you could talk a bit slower for our patient, Hosta,” Telford chides, beckoning her back to the bedside. “We must sound as odd to her as she does to us.”

“Very well, very well. Pie time?” The stout woman quickly unwraps the bundle she carries, revealing a blueberry pie, already sliced and still faintly warm from the oven. Acting without thinking, Marea immediately reaches over and grabs a handful right out of the middle, and shoves it in her mouth, smearing dark juice all around her lips. Hosta cackles with delight, though she produces a fork from the pocket of her apron and eats in a more tidy manner, while Telford gazes at the motion of Marea's prosthetics, captivated.

“Well,” the doctor starts, tearing his gaze away and sweeping up a little bite of pie with his finger, “I suppose you would like to know your condition. You arrived around noon on the back of a donkey, unconscious, and--”

“--A donkey?” Marea blurts out. “A suitably stupid name.”

“It was a donkey, yes. Anyway, we took you in and treated you for several hours, throughout the afternoon. You have severe burns all over your legs, and on your back and the back of your neck, as you most likely realized. It will take weeks, if not months, for them to fully heal, but you will be scarred for life.” He pauses, as if waiting for the waterworks, but Marea just shrugs, grabbing another handful of pie.

“Shoulda seen my old scars. Won't be that different,” she says dismissively.

“Mm, you have high spirits. A good sign. You also have a deep gash upon your forehead, which seems to have missed vital areas, but we will need to keep you awake for twenty-four hours to be sure that you remain amongst the living. I also treated several minor cuts across your person. Your final ailment, though—I've never seen anything quite like it.”

Marea stares at him, munching away noisily, waiting for the inevitable questions she must dodge.

“The puncture wound on your thigh—it was made by this small metal projectile.” He pulls the bullet from the pocket of his tunic, and holds it out for her to see. “My first thought was that it came from a slingshot, but truly, there is no way it could have buried itself so deep if that were the case. So I must ask, do you know what it is?”

Marea widens her eyes and shakes her head, a picture of perfect innocence. “Not a clue. I had something in my leg? I had no idea, I thought I was just crispy and tender.”

Hosta chuckles and shakes her head, popping a bite of pie in her small mouth. “Crispy and tender, oh good grief. You sound funny and you make funny, too.”

Telford sighs, placing the bullet in his pocket and patting it for safekeeping. “As I feared. You know, Hosta, the bard did bring tales of strange things along the North-South Road. What do you think? Do you recall any metal projectiles?”

Hosta shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “No, only strange hooded things, screeching in the night, the stuff that spooks children. That old man is always full of nonsense. It's not fair that all we get is a washed-up harpist, while my cousins in Hobbiton get regular visits from the wizard with the fireworks.”

“Wizard?” Marea cuts in, her face lighting up as she licks the last bit of crumbly pie from her fingers. “Like, a guy who does magic?”

“Of course, what else would a wizard be? He has a very long beard, I've heard, so you know he's legitimate.”

Telford shakes his head, tut-tutting under his breath. “I say he can keep his fireworks. We live in a modern age, an age of science, Hosta. Better to keep such whimsy and superstition at arms length. Leave it to the elves, who we rarely have to see.”

Marea mouths the word silently, elves.

“Anyway,” Telford begins again, rising to his feet. “I imagine you must be tired, Miss—forgive me, all this time, I did not think to ask your name.”

“Marea,” she says, opening her mouth to add Sleekfur, but she holds it back. Uncertain how it might be perceived.

“Marea. Quite a lovely name. You must be tired, but since you cannot sleep yet, I will send Hosta on her way, and keep you awake myself.”

“Ohhh, Telford!” the little woman whines dramatically, though she smiles broadly, already shuffling to the door. “I will be by in the morning to check on you, little one,” she chimes to Marea, waving as she slips out into the street.

“Little one,” Marea murmurs, shoulders slumping.

“She likes to call humans that,” Telford explains, pulling his stool over to the bedside, and perching upon it. “Now, what would you like to discuss, to keep you awake?”

Marea taps her chin slowly, licking her chapped lips, the remnants of blueberry flavor making her mouth water. “I'd rather just listen, actually. I have a book. Can you read it to me? Good practice, for the accent, thing,” she adds, pulling on her earlobes.

“It would be my pleasure,” the doctor replies, a warm, genuine smile crinkling his face. A face that could belong to any man, anywhere, yet somehow, in this one, she senses true kindness.

[andrewmoocow]

Fooly Falls chapter 5: Don’t Lose Your Way (originally posted on August 21, 2017)

“Ah, another fine day in this dirty riff-raff town.” Preston Northwest said to himself as he overlooked Gravity Falls from his office window. “Perhaps I should've started out somewhere nice like Colorado.” he added before he heard the door open. “Mr. Northwest, sir!” an employee exclaimed as he rushed in.

“We seem to have obtained security footage from our Medical Mechanica factory last night!” he explained, which caught Preston's eye. He turned around in his chair to face his employee, only to find himself spinning in it. “Oh not again, can someone stop this chair?” the billionaire groaned before his butler grabbed hold of the back. “Thank you Phineas.” he thanked getting up.

“Alright Lawrence, show me the footage.” Lawrence turned on a screen to show footage of a group of individuals standing atop the factory. “Last night, two children accompanied by a pair of senior citizens, a Medical Machine and a girl with a Vespa bike have trespassed on factory grounds during the D.I.I's Satellite Geo-Saki's collision course with this town. Much later on, the footage started giving out as three more people appeared before it cut to static.”

“Wait a minute, rewind and zoom in on the one with the guitar.” Preston ordered as Lawrence did just that, focusing on a boy that was all too familiar to the philanthropist. “Oh goody,” he grimaced. “you.”

Dipper, Mabel and Ford were sitting down in the living room watching an episode of Ducktective. “I don't get it, what's the appeal of this series?” Ford wondered as the show's title character and his partner the constable solved another case. “The creator was inspired by his childhood where he and his pet duck would solve mysteries together.” Mabel replied. “Yeah, and he also made this with the whole family in mind.” Dipper added. “Silly jokes & fun adventure for the kids and some witty humor for the parents.”

Just then, they heard Haruko yowling as Stan came crashing down from the ceiling. “Hey, what's going on here?!” Dipper shouted to Haruko before turning to his grunkle, who was wearing a red jacket for some reason. “Aw come on babe, play nice now.” Stan muttered woozily, still reeling from the fall.

“NOT IN A HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS WILL EVER GET ANYTHING FROM ME EXCEPT TONS OF BULLETS TO THE FACE YOU OLD COOT!” Haruko screamed as she fired at Stan with a rifle. “Hey, calm down there!” he exclaimed in reply.

“What's with the red jacket Grunkle Stan?” Dipper wondered. “Oh, I got it from another one of Soos' anime. I think it's called The Wolf, about a cool thief with a love for the ladies.” Stan explained as we then cut to Canti washing dishes. “This was the jacket he started out with and a favorite of the original author Simian Slam. What, do you prefer the green one from Palace of Shamballa?”

“Okay, I'm going up there to give her what's what.” Dipper sternly proclaimed before marching up the stairs and opening the door to their attic room only to lay his eyes upon Haruko wearing nothing but a pink bath towel and shaking Gompers the goat in her arms.

“What, are you saying I have personal feelings for that kid?” she asked the goat, who bleated in reply. “I don't think so! The reason this mission has been delayed because the channel to N.O isn't open!” As she continued speaking to Gompers, Dipper watched in shock as she waved her butt in his face. “It's not about liking or disliking! Damn, the connection's dead.”

When she tossed Gompers to the ground, she turned towards Dipper smiling. “Oh my, were you listening?” she asked him. “Can you please put on some clothes? Puberty is pretty crazy you know.” the boy replied shielding his eyes.

“How's this?!” the Vespa woman exclaimed now dressed like Elvis Presley, complete with large pompadour while a chalkboard appeared behind her. “I meant normal clothes. And where did you get that board?” he said. “HARUKO'S MASTER THE GUITAR IN ONE MILLISECOND CLASS, YEAH! SIGN UP NOW!” she hollered.

“I think this is the part where I lose my mind.” Dipper said turning to the readers before he got fired at by Haruko with her rifle. “Grab a guitar and you can be a pop idol!” Haruko shouted some more. “Chicks dig it dude, pyon!”

“Pyon?” her younger friend questioned. “Like Filter, or Slash!” she continued on as her pompadour and her head got bigger. “Like Red Hot Chilli Peppers or Rage against the Machine or Richard Gene!” she screamed as her head became as big as the attic could take it. “Wait a minute, Richard Gene isn't a-” Dipper began before getting shot at again.

“You have to learn to say it like a cool rock dude pyon! Guys like Jimi Hendrix all started out like this!” she explained loudly before spinning her bass like a helicopter blade and hovering in the air. “Haruko wait! What's going on?!” Dipper exclaimed before getting shoved into his bed with Haruko on top of him, now back in her bath towel.

“You know it's dangerous to wave that thing around like that.” he stated blushing. “Use your guitar again Takkun, just one more time.” she purred. “Speaking of which, that was fantastic last night.”

“Not interested right now, now can let me go already?” Dipper responded. “I should teach you how to be a man Takkun.” Haruko giggled. “Yeah, like you know how!” he snapped back before he was shoved into her face by his horn until they locked lips, and conveniently enough Mabel & Stan walked in on them.

“Aha, I knew it all along!” Mabel cheered as she started taking pictures. “Wendy owes me big time!” The old trickster on the other hand was completely stunned as his face went red, then blue and every other color of the rainbow.

“Oh Takkun, that's more like it!” Haruko said. “No, this isn't what it looks like! It was my horn!” Dipper tried to make something up. “First kiss, good one!” she replied. “Liar, our first “kiss” was technically the first time we met when you gave me CPR!” he snapped back before Stan let out a mighty roar. “I can't believe it Takkun, you've been havin' sexy times with a hot chick and didn't bother to tell me!” he exclaimed. “And what's worse, that's my partner you were smooching!”

“Like I said, it was my horn!” Dipper tried to defend himself before getting shot at by his great uncle. “That's it kid, you're grounded.” Stan finally said whipping out a pistol. “And by grounded, I mean I'm putting you six feet under! We shall have a duel to the finish, winner gets Haruko's love and a box of Mrs. Pell's Fishsticks.” he announced.

“I'm for it!” Haruko interjected raising her hand. “You know what, forget the duel! My weapon's yours Haruko!” he exclaimed leaping out of his clothes before getting slammed into the wall by a boxing glove that came out of nowhere.

Later that day outside the Mystery Shack, the duel between great-nephew and great-uncle was about to begin. On one side were the twins & Haruko while the other side was Stan, Canti and Soos. “What's the matter kid, too chicken as usual?” Stan, dressed as some sort of heavy weapons guy, boldly proclaimed. “C'mon, show yourself and fight me like a true man!”

As Dipper was hiding in the tall grass, Haruko snuck up on him and tangled around him like a snake much to his displeasure. “What are you doing Haruko!” he exclaimed. “Aw come on bro-bro, Team HaruDip has to get along so that we can win.” Mabel said. “I even made team sweaters for everyone!”

She was currently wearing a yellow sweater with the P symbol from Haruko's Vespa and a blue pine tree on it. “This is no time for sweaters Mabel, one of us might be killed by our own uncle out here!” he replied.

“Are you sure about this Mr. Pines?” Soos stuttered as he tugged on the dogtags and red T-shirt he was now wearing. “I mean, it's perfectly normal for a little boy to have the hots for an older girl. Like when Dipper had that crush on Wendy.” he explained. “Not right now Soos, it's the principle of the thing!” his boss replied. “Oh Takkun, save me!” Haruko moaned from afar as she continued smothering Dipper. “Now's your chance Soos, fire!”

“I'm so sorry dudes!” Soos winced before he fired at the opposing team. “You better not be eating those fishsticks Ford, they're for the winner!” Stan called to his brother sitting on the porch, who already ate one. “Uh, they're all here Stanley!” Ford replied trying to hide the fishstick he ate before taking notice of a small car near the shack which a woman rose out of. “Can I help you miss?”

“Target sighted commander! It's blue, I repeat blue!” she spoke into a cellphone as she picked up an anti-tank rifle and aimed it at Canti. “Are you sure it isn't red Kitsurubami?” a voice on the other end asked, which happened to be Commander Amarao at a hair salon.  “So the blue is confirmed then? I already have the unofficial consent of both Medical Mechanica and this town's resident billionaire Preston Northwest so we'll take care of it here so they can't interfere.”

As he put down the phone, everything turned into something out of an adult cartoon from 1997. “I have work to do so let's make it quick!” he said. “Okay, but I wanted to look cool, you know what I mean, in a manly charming grown-up kind of way!” He picked up the phone again to contact Kitsurubami. “If we screw up here, Medical Mechanica will be all over us! Just forget Raharu, she'll just complicate everything! Just take care of yourself til I get there.”

“You know, more mature-looking, something a woman that I haven't seen in a long time would think 'This guy really is a hero but also nurturing and supportive', something like that. That's what I'm looking for.” he turned back to his hairdresser before taking notice of a boy in a chair next to him receiving some candy. “Oh, don't I get one of those candies? I prefer the super sweet ones, the sweetest ones if you know what I mean.”

Dipper was charging into battle with his twin pistols before firing at and pouncing on what seemed to be his grunkle before he learned it was one of many traps set by him. “Y'know for a smart kid, you're easy to fool!” Stan boasted from afar as the boy continued falling into his traps.

“They seem to be playing some kind of game. Looks really stupid, I'm sure I can handle this myself. ” Amarao's right-hand woman continued analyzing the scene as she peered through the scope of her firearm. “Hm, who's the girl he hasn't seen in so long?”

“What are you two doing just laying around, you should be helping me!” Dipper complained as he landed back into Mabel and Haruko's hiding spot. “My guitar isn't plugged in.” Haruko replied pulling out her Rickenbacker. “Don't ask bro-bro, even I don't know why she brought it along.” Mabel added.

“Are you crazy, this is a game of life and death!” he snapped back at the girls. “And squeegee, and bungee, and grungy! Oh, we're in trouble kid.” Haruko said. “Well, can you at least give me some backup Mabel?” Dipper asked his sister. “Anything for you Dipps!” Mabel cheerfully answered. “Good kid, now go out there and prove that you love me!” Haruko exclaimed kicking the twins out.

When they got up, Dipper charged at Canti with a bloodthirsty look on his face while Mabel jumped in the air with her bazooka. “Check it out Dipper, I can rocket jump!” she exclaimed before crashing down into the ground. “Oh no, Mabel down! Mabel down!” But her brother didn't seem to notice as he and the Medical Machine went all out against each other before Canti started getting fired at itself from an unknown assailant, which was Kitsurubami.

“Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, cobalt blue!” she exclaimed with each shot from her anti-tank rifle. “It's seven of nine, he's a sign!” When she got his head in her sights, she fired again. “CYBORG!!!” she screamed taking one last shot. “Cyborg my butt!” Haruko shouted back batting the bullet away from her as Dipper continued fighting Canti.

“Actually, confusing cyborgs with robots is a common misconception.” Ford stated. “But there are a few cyborgs who are mostly machine, like this policewoman I've met who's only organic part was her brain and strangely looked a bit like Scarlet Johansson-” He was interrupted when the bullet flung back at Kitsurubami's car, blowing it up and tossing her into the fray.

“Take this squirt!” Stan cried charging towards his great-nephew before being knocked over by the government agent and sent tumbling around. “Soos, Canti, you're on your own for now!” Dipper however saw this as an opportunity to land the killing blow. “Alright, one more shot and I win!” he proclaimed as he prepared to pounce on the machine before being interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Hi Dipper!” It was Pacifica, who had come by for some reason. “Oh no Paz, get out of here!” Dipper exclaimed jumping in front of her as Canti fired one last bullet at his torso, knocking him out. “Oh no dude, you alright?” Soos cried rushing to the boy's side. “I'm fine Soos, I just don't know how I could survive that.”

“And by the way Canti, I get three time-outs!” he turned to Canti, who blankly stared at him in reply. “Don't give me that look!” Dipper exclaimed much to the heiress's confusion. “Are you okay there Dipper?” she asked. “Oh, it's just that my great uncle wants to kill me because he thought I got 'busy' with his new friend.” he answered. “So what are you doing here anyway?” he wondered.

“Oh yeah, my dad sent me out here to tell you that he's kinda ticked off about you trespassing on his Medical Mechanica factory.” Pacifica said. “Speaking of which, is this Medical Machine like, your servant or something?” she asked. “Yeah pretty much. Hey Canti, can you go to the grocery store?” The machine did as it was told as it soared off into the sky. “And remember to get the candy Mabel likes!” Dipper called.

“So what was that about your father?” he asked turning to Pacifica. “Like I said, he got pretty mad about you and your family stepping on his territory when that big satellite nearly killed us all last night.” she stated. “And I saved us!” Dipper responded fiercely.

“Wait, you did what?” his rich blonde friend stuttered. “Yeah he did, he was all bang-slam-kerpow!” Mabel exclaimed getting back up with only a few scrapes on her. “With a Gibson?!” Pacifica continued, still utterly stunned. “It's true!” Haruko replied dancing into view and glomping Dipper, while Mabel chanted “Smooch, smooch, smooch!” several times.

“And I thought that lumberjack ghost was freaky.” Pacifica said to herself before discovering Ford sitting on the porch. “Hey, is that supposed to be your great uncle? He looks so different from when I last saw him.” she wondered. “Oh yeah, that is out great uncle, but he's not really Stan.” Dipper replied. “Yeah, Grunkle Stan had this weird portal behind the vending machine in the gift shop that he used to bring his brother back from some parallel universe or something crazy like that.” Mabel added.

“He-hey Sixer!” Haruko called to the polydactyl professor while pulling at Dipper's face before he started to feel faint.

“So this Haruko woman just decided to stay at your place after nearly killing Dipper?” Pacifica asked Mabel as they walked through the woods. “Pretty much, fate is crazy that way.” the sweater girl replied. “Plus ever since then, all kinds of crazy robots started popping out of this weird horn on his forehead like Canti for example. Plus Haruko really hit it off with Stan, even coming with him on a revenge trip.”

“And Dipper was stuck into some weird shootout after your great-uncle caught him making out with that Haruko?” the blonde added blushing. “Why would you ask that?” Mabel wondered for a bit before going silent and putting a coy expression on her face. “You like Dipper, don't you P?” she said. “What, no I don't!” Pacifica claimed blushing harder. “I just think he's a nice guy, okay?”

“So that was Preston's girl, huh?” Ford wondered with his mouth full of fishsticks. “Yeah, it turns out she doesn't have the best parents and she saved my life during Northwest Fest. How she's doing now I don't want to know.” Dipper replied.

“And are you sure you have a crush on her?” the old-aged genius added, much to his younger counterpart's embarrassment. “Okay maybe I kind of do, but I'm afraid to confess my feelings to her because I'm terrible with girls.” he admitted. “I can definitely relate Dipper. One time when I was your age, I held hands with a girl who suddenly freaked out and ran away because of my six fingers.”

“And then there's Haruko.” Dipper continued. “She was initially a complete annoyance to me but as time went on, I'm starting to like her more. Maybe it's because of all the crazy adventures we went on because of her.” Ford then came to a conclusion. “Maybe it's because she has connections to Canti.” he said. “Maybe it seems that this town's weirdness has brought her here and all the robots with her. “

“Y'know speaking of weirdness, where did Grunkle Stan go anyway?” the boy wondered before his other great uncle pulled a pistol on him. “Whoa whoa whoa, I thought you were better than this!” Dipper exclaimed. “Don't fret kid, Stan left behind one of his ten guns and I want to see how durable your head is with that horn.”

Meanwhile somewhere near the Shack in the forest, a battle-damaged Kitsurubami was retching up dirt and grime from her tussle with Stan as she contacted her superior. “I'm on the ground. The attack was a failure, some old man got me distracted and I lost the target.” she spoke into the phone as Stan got up and walked away. “

That little tumble was fun and all babe, but I gotta go find Haruko.” the con-artist said. “It's a horrific entity that flies around like it hasn't heard of gravity.” Unbeknownst to her, Canti happened to float near her until she turned around and screamed.

Meanwhile back at the salon, Amarao was still on the phone as Kitsurubami started making random noises. “Kitsurubami, Kitsurubami! Are you alright?” he exclaimed into the phone before he got hit with a splash of water. “Now hold still sir, we're gonna do the hair color next.” his dyer stated as she started rubbing his red hair. “Now who do you want it, auburn, chestnust or maybe even, fooly cooly color?”

“Fooly.......cooly........” It took Amarao a while to realize it, but he recognized that voice from anywhere and the two pulled weapons on one another, with the woman revealing herself to be Haruko.

“What's with the eyebrows loverboy? An attempt at bushy masculine charm?!” she exclaimed pointing a razor at his neck. “Chicks dig the clean-cut look, that what you were thinking?!” Amarao wasn't having it as he pointed a handgun at her forehead. “Raharu!” he growled preparing to pull the trigger. “Deciding to send your little commando on a mission!” And that's when they went all out against each other with tons of firepower.

“Ow, are you done yet Ford?” Dipper exclaimed as Ford fired a few bullets at the boy's head. “Guess I am, that noggin of yours is really sturdy.” Ford replied as he tossed away the gun. “Your horn's acting up again, could it be that fooly cooly Stan keeps rambling about?” he asked noticing his great-nephew's horn as it started to wiggle.

“Hey guys, whatcha talkin' about?” Mabel wondered as she returned to them and sat down on the couch. “We were just discussing how much Haruko has changed us and Ford shooting me to see how tough my head was.” Dipper replied before taking his sister's head. “C'mon, let's go find Grunkle Stan.” Meanwhile, Kitsurubami had enough and started emptying lead on Canti. “NOOOO! STAY AWAY!” she exclaimed.

In town, Stan was charging through the streets looking for Haruko until he ran into a overweight man wearing a shirt that had a pizza on it. “Hey big guy, you seen a young lady about yay high, has pink hair and pretty much mentally unstable?” he asked panting before the pizza guy pointed at the hair salon. “Cool, thanks!”

Back onto Haruko and Amarao's firefight, the two continued giving each other all they got before standing off. “I'm not a child anymore, I'm an adult!” Amarao proclaimed putting on a pair of sunglasses. “I can buy my own insurance and everything!” Just then, dozens of other agents assembled behind him carrying guns like him.

“That robot is too dangerous. If we don't take it out, Medical Mechanica will make its move.” he explained. “You understand what they're planning and how it would affect the planet. And that thing, when it turns red, it's Atomsk.”

That last sentence alone made Haruko really angry as she opened fire on pretty much everyone in the building, shooting agents that busted in left and right until the front door was opened by Stan.

“Haruko, I've been wondering where you were!” he cried before turning his attention to Amarao. “Hello there eyebrows.” he grimaced at the head of the D.I.I. “Stan Pines, I knew you would show up here.” Amarao replied pointing his gun at the old trickster. “I'm surprised you didn't recognize me at first last night.” the great-uncle replied pulling out a gun of his own. “Was it the fake mustache?”

“You didn't have a fake mustache you idiot!” Amarao roared before turning to his men. “Pines isn't important right now, just stop Raharu!” At his command, they all dogpiled and pointed their guns at Haruko before she blasted them off her and pointed her Rickenbacker at Amarao. “You've got to be kidding me.” he groaned surrounded by the unconcious bodies of his fellow agents.

“Two against one, sounds like pretty good odds.” Stan added brandishing some brass knuckles.

Meanwhile, the Pines twins were running into town searching for their uncle. “You know bro, you've been acting pretty different lately, a bit less awkward and more awesome.” Mabel said. “Maybe Ford was right, maybe Haruko did have a part in the grand scheme of this.” Dipper boldly deducted. “Seriously Dipper, you've become so much different ever since she came here. She taught me to be braver in the face of life-threatening situations.”

Meanwhile, Stan and Haruko continued duking it out with Amarao while nearby townsfolk ran for cover, with the two tricksters getting the upper hand.

“You already are pretty brave. By the way, what's with that weird thing on the back of your head?” Mabel responded staring at the gun that appeared on her brother's head without his knowledge. “Be honest, you like her!”

Dipper stopped right there on the sidewalk as he was taken aback by his sister's words, given that he wasn't very good with romance and that Mabel's personal goal this summer was to meet a cute boy that would date her. Suddenly, he felt something click in his head as his horn burst out and planted itself in the ground before pushing him skyward as Mabel grabbed onto it.

The siren from Medical Mechanica sounded as the boy's horn grew larger, large enough to be noticed by Kitsurubami & Canti, Pacifica and all the people of Gravity Falls. Amarao, now on the ground after losing his battle with the man of mystery and his pink-haired partner and losing his large eyebrows, got up to notice what happened.

“Oh no, where are my eyebrows?!” he screamed before turning his head to the giant horn in the middle of town. “Medical Mechanica is using these machines to destroy this town and the rest of the planet, we are so screwed!” he continued on, much to Stan and Haruko's annoyance. “Yeesh, for such a calculating government agent, he sure is a wimp.” Stan mocked him. “Your friend is the one who caused all this Pines, and now we're all screwed because of her!”

“I don't care you idiot, got it memorized?” Haruko added scowling at Amarao. “Your guitar's not up to it, that's it!” he replied. “You're a million years under-evolved, you primitive monkey!” she screamed. “Whoa, take it easy babe!” Stan exclaimed trying to calm her down. “That's discriminatory language against underdeveloped planets!” Amarao shouted back before he was hit in the head with Haruko's bass before she waved it around while chanting.

“You can't do that here! Where are my eyebrows, my eyebrows!” Suddenly, a small thing appeared on the redhaired agent's forehead. “A little small as usual, but it'll do.” Haruko said plucking it off before revving up her instrument and taking off. “You handle him yourself Stan!”

“Stanley!” a voice called from a nearby alleyway. Stan walked into it to find his brother hiding. “Thank goodness you're still alive! Listen, we need to save Dipper & Mabel and the town!” Ford exclaimed. “Yep, that's the biggest one this story might put out.” Stan replied turning back to the giant robot.

“I have a feeling Diamond Brandy might show up, so I've decided to bring this along.” Reaching into a duffel bag, the genius pulled out a stone mask with a red gem on it.

“Oh mama, that looks like mob-boss quality!” the con-artist exclaimed reaching for him before his hand was slapped aside. “This is the Eyes of Heaven mask, an ancient artifact that I've recovered many years ago from temple ruins. If Diamond Brandy dare touches it, it could bring about the end of days!”

“Seriously, what does that chick see in those kids, especially the one with the hat?!” Amarao whined still looking up to the sky. “I don't know, maybe it's because he sort of has a pair.” Stan replied with a laugh.

Meanwhile high up in the sky, Dipper and Mabel were clinging on for dear life on top of the new robot's hat as it started moving towards Medical Mechanica. “If this is our last moment together Takkun, then I want to say it's been an honor being your sister!” Mabel exclaimed hugging her brother.

“I love you too Mabel, now hold on!” Dipper replied as he tried to find a way to safely return to the ground until a red light appeared zooming across the sky. It was Haruko, surfing on her guitar and wearing a Playboy bunny outfit for some reason. “Hey, it's Haruko!” the shooting star exclaimed. “Wait, why is she dressed like that?”

“DAICON FIVE!!!” Haruko cried as she fired a small guitar like a slingshot at the robot, knocking it back a bit. “Stop it Haruko!” Dipper shouted clinging on for dear life. “Please Takkun, summon Canti so that you can save us!” his sister cried ducking for cover. “Wait, are you serious right now?” the younger by five minutes boy exclaimed. “Of course I'm going to save us! CANTI!”

The Medical Machine sprung into the air and landed by his side. “And by the way, you've always known me as Dipper, not Takkun! You better remember that!” he shouted before getting eaten by Canti's torso jaws and making it turn red. As the robot pulled out a gun and started firing at the Vespa Woman, she gracefully dodged all its attack before being knocked down to the ground by one. Suddenly, Canti soared down and picked her up, seating her on its back.

Haruko prepared to attack with the slingshot again, but it proved ineffective against the mechanical monstrosity. “Ugh, useless!” she groaned throwing the slingshot away before slamming Canti's head, turning it into a cannon which fired at the gun-toting machine. It landed quite a hit, knocking it over while Mabel nearly fell off before Canti swooped in and saved her.

“It's falling!” Grenda exclaimed as she and Candy held each other close. “If this is the end of the line, then it's been fun being your friend!” the Asian girl replied before they noticed Mabel landing right in front of them. “Well, it's official. I have a fear of giant robots with cowboy hats and guns!” she exclaimed dusting herself.

“FINAL ROUND?!” Haruko exclaimed as the robot toppled over. Canti launched one final attack, which proved nothing when the robot repelled it by firing back and sending it careening into a nearby billboard. “I'm all out of ammo!” she complained before leaping into the air with her Rickenbacker in hand, but the robot aimed and fired all its weapons at her as it formed into a hand-like shape.

“Commander!” Kitsurubami cried as she and Amarao drove into the action. “I told you this was impossible!” her superior replied in panic before they were hit by a stray bullet. The bass-playing bunny continued falling as the robot got back up on its feet before she fell into Canti's arms when his screen started glowing.

“This is bad, it's heading towards the factory, it's gonna activate it!” Amarao screamed in terror before he spotted a beam of light spilling out of the Medical Machine's head. It grabbed the light and pulled it out, forming a guitar-shaped object. “It's....” Amarao said. “It's Atomsk's....” Haruko shouted in surprise.

“GIBSON EB-0 1961 MODEL!” they shouted in unison. Dropping Haruko, Canti launched itself at the robot, smacking it with the bass and finally making it fall over. It tumbled a bit before bouncing atop Medical Mechanica and turning into a giant hand. “I can't believe it, that must be the one!” Amarao exclaimed as it continued falling. “It's the real Pirate King!”

Canti struck one final blow, creating a large hole in the palm and causing a piece of machinery to burst out. Suddenly, steam erupted from the factory covering all of Gravity Falls with it. Meanwhile, Stan, Ford, Soos and Wendy were on a Mystery Shack golf cart searching for the kids. “See them dudes?” Soos asked. “No way Soos.” Wendy replied. “But we do see some kinda meteorite headed right for us.” Stan added. “Wait a minute, that isn't a meteor-RUN!” Ford exclaimed as they all ran far away from the golf cart as it met its untimely end in the hands of the clump of technology.

The red ammo fell from the billboard as the girls all watched, later joined by the Stans and the Shack employees. The golf cart crashed into a nearby fire hydrant spraying water on the glowing bullet before it turned back into their friend Dipper, followed by Haruko landing right next to him as she gazed into Atomsk's screen. “Atomsk!” she moaned.

“Dipper, you're alright!” Mabel exclaimed as she hugged her brother. “I was worried for you too.” he replied hugging her as well, before they patted each other on the back. “It's nice that both of you have their heads still attached which means your parents won't try to kill me, but now let's head back home.” Stan said picking them up by the arms. “I think you might need some rest.”

As they all happily walked back to the Shack, everything became frozen as a portal opened before them, which out climbed none other than Diamond Brandy. “Oh, did I miss the party?” he wondered as he raised a bubble around him and the Pines family. “Well, at least I get a few goodies.”

“Someone help us!” Mabel shouted pounding on the shield. “Soos, Wendy, Haruko, anyone!” Dipper added also pounding. “That shield won't work children. Outside things are going normally but here, I get to slaughter you and nobody will notice.” Diamond replied. “Now Six Fingers, I sense you have the item that I've been looking for.” he said turning to Ford. “I said it once and I'll say it again, I will never hand you the Eyes!” Ford declared. “Well then, if I can't take the mask, then I'll take your family's lives instead.” When he finished that sentence, the rest of the family became buried neck-down in the street, struggling to escape.

“Now what will it be Stanford, your loved ones or my key to ultimate power?” Brandy offered as he summoned a sword caked in blood in his hand. “You should know this sword is painted with the blood of my enemies.” Ford quivered as his brother and great-nephew & niece begged for mercy as he lowered the sword at their heads. “I think I'll start with.....” he pointed it at Stan. “YOU!!!”

“WAIT!” Ford interrupted his brother's execution by pulling out the mask. “I'll give you the mask, just leave my family and this planet alone!” The ruby gem resting atop its forehead glimmered in the light. “Very good choice.” the demon thanked him before pulling the three up like vegetables. “Now hand it over.”

“Hey wait, before you go off and destroy the galaxy, why don't you tell us your backstory? You just can't be evil because why not.” Mabel asked. “Fine Shooting Star, allow me to let you relive my past.” His fingertips glowed before he touched the Pines' foreheads, sending them all the way back to a Mayan-looking village. “Welcome to the story of how I became the monster you see today.”

“Before now, I was just another weakling that was picked on by my kinfolk.” he narrated as a young boy that looked like Diamond was picked on by other children. “Stay back, I have awesome powers that would make you wet your trousers!” the boy that would become Diamond Brandy exclaimed before throwing his hands out, expecting to release an awesome attack but nothing happen.

“Face it Deh'Go, you're not gonna go far.” one of the kids stated as they all walked away. “If you want your own powers, then why don't you just walk into a mud pit, I'm pretty sure you'd get earth powers.”

“Good Lord, and I thought Crampelter was bad.” Stan said as they all watched the younger Brandy weep in sorrow. “I just want to hug that nice and chubby baby so hard!” Mabel exclaimed as she tried to run up to the child, but failed.

“Sorry girl, we're spirits now. Meaning we can't interact with others while in this state.” Brandy explained. “My life was pretty terrible, but then everything changed when Atomsk attacked.”

He fast-forwarded time to a point where he was standing in the flaming ruins of his village. ”I wanted to help ward him off, but I failed and our home was reduced to rubble.” A short man with a bushy beard and white robes marched up to Brandy, looking very angry. “Do you realize what you have done Bu'Ran'Doy, now we have to rebuild!” the man barked as many other equally upset villagers gathered behind him. “But Atomsk is gone, that's good right?” the taller man sheepishly replied before his fellow Pole People started throwing rocks at him. “I was exiled from my home that day, but then I found help.”

Fast forwarding a little bit more, an image of Brandy drawing a circle in the dirt surrounded by a set of eight makeshift candles. “Hey, this is just like when Gideon summoned....oh no.” Dipper realized. “Indeed Pine Tree, it was at this spot where I first met a being you might know as Bill Cipher.” the demon explained as they all watched him summon the three-sided terror.

“Egassem sdrawkcab. egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!” the younger Diamond Brandy chanted with his eyes glowing blue as a familiar shape began to form, manically laughing along the way until Bill Cipher appeared before him.

“Hey there pal, name's Bill! And I suppose you summoned me for your own goals?” the dream demon greeted Brandy. “Indeed I have oh Great Triangle God of Weirdness,” Brandy replied kneeling before him. “I seek revenge on my people for shunning me all my life for my lack of special powers.”

“You mean those Pole People? Yeah, I think I can help you with that.” Bill replied as he began scrolling through different types of magic. “Which one would you like? I got water, earth, fire, air, metal, blood, etc!” All of those sounded interesting to the young Pole Person, but one had caught his eye. “I would like fire please.” he answered. “Firestarter? That's pretty hard to master.” the triangular terror said as he turned back to Deh'Go with his hand covered in blue fire. “Now do we have a deal?”

“It's a deal.” the future destroyer replied as he shook the demon's hand. “Alright, Firestarter's all yours pal!” Bill exclaimed as he started to disappear. “And remember, THE MEANING OF LIFE IS A JOKE, I WILL RETURN HERE ONE DAY, HERE'S JOHNNY BYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!!!!” Cipher had disappeared, leaving Buh'Ran'Doy with this paper rune as he cackled evilly. “Look out Cylindoria, I will return!”

“What I didn't realize was that a lone villager was spying on me and Bill.” And he was right, a villager with a prominent bald spot watched as Brandy laughed, fearing the worst for his people. “When he returned to the city of Cylindoria, he explained what he had saw to the high council and they decided to create a mask that would end my reign of terror. And the rest was history.”

With that, he fast-forwarded through the rest of his story, from the creation of the mask, him mastering his powers, the destruction of Cylindoria and being sealed by the last Pole Person, who turned out to be that same villager. “Now that we got my backstory out of the way, the mask please.” Brandy ordered, in which Ford complied handing it over. “Yes, ultimate power is mine!” He put it on and everything was silent. Then, beams of light burst out of his limbs as he felt his power growing.

Then everything went silent again as the mask crumbled into pieces and falling onto the pavement. “Thank you for your time mortal, I promise your planet will be left unharmed.” Diamond Brandy thanked Ford before summoning his sword and soaring into the sky while the shield disappeared.

“Hey dudes, we were wondering what happened to you.” Soos said with a concerned look on his face. “Yeah, while you were gone Haruko ran off with Canti because of some weird Pirate King stuff that isn't related to that pirate show Soos watches.” Wendy added. “We actually weren't gone, we were held captive by this crazy guy who wanted to kill us unless Ford handed over this mask he wanted!” Mabel exclaimed while Dipper gazed into the sky, wondering where Haruko had gone.

“Aw chin up kid, Haruko may be gone probably for good and the whole universe is in danger, but at least we got Mrs. Pell's Fishsticks!” Stan reassured his great-nephew which Ford blush. “Well that's a pretty funny story. I uh, ate them all.” he nervously confessed showing the empty box to his brother. “They tasted so good when they're raw!” Stan replied by punching him in the face.

Hello everyone, Ford here. Well this is it, the final chapter is almost here. I just want to say it's been a fun ride with you all and I really had a fun time, even if I nearly doomed us all. Join us next time for Fooly Falls chapter 6! Now go beyond, PLUS ULTRA!