#his prettiness became the weakness for me finishing by the deadline

[melatien]

My submission for @aimportantdragoncollector's trioholders event (bonus round)!!

they are at the beach

[nessaxc]

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Stress Reliever || Kuroo Tetsurou

You're working so hard one day that you develop a migraine so Kuroo is determined to help relieve it.

~ Rating: Explicit

~ Words: 2.5k

~ Tags: Fluff, Comfort Sex, Lap Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, Sexual dialogue, Swearing, Vaginal Sex,

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Funny enough the day didn’t start off terrible. In fact, it started off pretty well. You woke up fairly early enough to drag yourself out of bed to do your morning exercises. Even after exercising and getting ready, you still had time to make yourself some coffee, and you were feeling in a positively good mood, though, that quickly went away.

Your professor was nagging you about the extra exercises and apparently you had a deadline for it, so you were swamped with work, and felt like you were being pulled in multiple directions. As such, you completely skipped lunch and barely had time to snack or eat the rest of the day. That was a major mistake and now you were starting to regret it horribly. The coffee stain on your shirt was a grim reminder of how much of a shit day you were having, so you tugged it off later that day to change into a comfortable nightdress.

Your head felt like it was on fire. You tried to focus on your computer screen, but the light of the device hurt your eyes and you shut them, pressing the heels of your palms into closed eyelids. The lack of food and water, plus your stress was starting to cause a migraine to emerge and you foolishly tried to just wish it away. Obviously it didn't seem to work.

Then Kuroo came around when you were working in the living room, wearing a deep red robe, sipping from a cup before he pulled it away from his lips to ask, "You okay, baby?" he walked over, and when he slammed his cup down on the table it made you wince.

"No," you admitted. You pulled your hands away from your face and nearly sobbed as you saw that your computer was now frozen.

You bit back a collection of swears that you wanted so desperately to scream. Instead, you grimly began to work again after everything closed, clicking on a browser to get back started.

"Earth to Y/N!" he waved his hand in front of your face, chuckling in amusement, and you just moved your head to the direction of the screen. The more you went on, the harder it got to concentrate. Your migraine was full on now, and your head was throbbing so much that it made it near impossible to focus on anything. You closed your eyes for a few moments, before you forced yourself to open them as you returned to the exercises you were working on.

"I think you need to relax," he suggested, "you can barely look at the computer screen," he laughed as he mocked the way your eyes were falling closed, his eyes heavily lidded as he slowly blinked them, a dazed look on his face.

"I can't, I have more work to do," you muttered. You appreciated his attempt at showing concern, but you really were too busy to leave now. You didn't even know what time it was, but you constantly told yourself that you weren't going to stop until everything was finished.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, and you fought the urge to look at him as he massaged the curve of it with his fingers.

"Aw don't be such a workaholic," he told you, and you nearly hissed at him, "I think what you need is a break, doctor's orders!" he exclaimed with a chuckle. "C'mon, you don't have anything that can't wait until tomorrow."

"I'm fine," you lied. You were stubborn and hated leaving things unfinished.

"You're not fine, c'mon, now the boss is telling you that you need to stop working," he urged, and you would have laughed because he was speaking in that cute whiny voice you loved had you not been so invested in your work. "I won't take no for an answer," he said with an amused smirk.

"No it's okay," you started, "I can keep going," you said, your voice lacking any sort of conviction. "I have a deadline."

"Well I said you don't, the professor gonna have to wait, last I checked you're supposed to listen to me, not that old fart," he pulled the laptop away from your grasp, and you wanted to argue but the words died in your throat as your head throbbed painfully.

"Tetsurou, I wasn't finished," you said, your voice expressing weak disapproval.

He scooped you up into his arms suddenly, humming away loudly and acting as if he didn't hear you. He carried you all the way to his room, bridal-style, which you couldn't help but giggle at, and he flopped down on the bed, positioning you on the comfortable seat that was his lap. He ran his hand along your arm, stroking the skin there as he eyed you with a suggestive look on his face.

"Migraine?" he asked. He knew you so well. You had the tendency to get migraines when you pushed yourself too much, and you groaned in response.

"You had a tough day huh?" he continued, a pout playing on his lips before he chuckled. "No biggie, I'm here to fix that," he assured, his voice somewhat soothing for once.

"It sucked," you mumbled, leaning into his touch as he stroked both of your arms with his hands, feeling yourself relax a little more. He pulled you closer against his chest, his breath tickling your neck.

"Sorry you had a shit day," he chuckled, his grin widening when you cracked a small smile, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. "But that's why you always have me to make it extraordinary!" he exclaimed smugly.

"It's fine, I had worse," you admitted, and he continued to laugh at that. You both fell into silence for a few moments. You loved that you could have a horrible day or a shitty migraine, and Kuroo would be there to help make you feel better. You were so comfortable and warm, despite the pounding in your head. But even with that pulsating ache in your head, you found yourself getting lost in the features of his face — those long ebony eyelashes, that single strand of black hair that fell in front of his forehead, the glimmer in his eyes, you drank it all in, and of course he noticed this.

"Like what you see, baby?" he raised both eyebrows inquisitively, his smirk only broadening even more so, entertained by your watchful stare.

"Maybe," you said with a light shrug, acting as if it was nothing.

He slid his hands up to your shoulders, kneading his fingers into them, and the feeling made you shiver slightly. You found yourself craving his touch almost instantly. You were suddenly very aware of his hot skin against yours and his hot breath chasing the skin on your neck.

"You know," he said before leaning in to press kisses upon your neck, "sex actually helps migraines."

As soon as he said the words, you felt him twitch against you. His lips then brushed your shoulder and you could feel his sly smirk.

"Is that so?" you asked, your voice taking a very different tone, that suggested a challenge. His fingers wandered down to the hem of your nightdress in search of the skin underneath.

"Yes, or so I've heard," he teased, making you chuckle in response.

"Make me feel better then," you whispered. You reached for the first button of your nightdress, his eyes widened a little as you worked your way down, and you emitted a soft gasp as you felt him harden against you. You popped the next one open but he quickly became impatient with your pace, he brought his hands back up and tore the dress open, letting the buttons fly about the room in loud pings before tossing it away.

You couldn't help but giggle in response to that because of how eager he was, and he quickly joined your state of laughter. Your hands fumbled to rid of the robe that covered his body, slipping it off in a hurry and allowing it to join your ripped dress on the floor. Your cheeks turned to the color of scarlet upon the sight of his stiff erection pointing up, amazed by how hard he was already.

You shivered when he cupped your breast. His hand was cold, and your nipples were already hard from the chill in the night air, but when he brushed his thumb over the sensitive tip of your breast, you sighed in pleasure. You trailed your cool fingertips down his side to his hip, your breath hitched.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he said under his breath before a chuckle slipped through, then he pressed his lips to yours. When you began to trail your fingers up and down his member, his tongue plunged into your mouth. He cupped your other breast, his thumbs brushing back and forth over your nipples. You inched forward, rubbing the ball of your thumb against the head of his member. When you were almost straddling him, you shifted your weight from your knees to your feet, sliding one arm around his neck to hold your balance as you kept fondling his member, and he nipped at your bottom lip, letting out a low, pleased moan.

"Oh shit," he growled before he added, "you're mine, all mine," he repeated, giving you one last hard kiss, then nuzzling his way down to your neck, and you arched to give him room as he brushed his lips just lightly across the tops of your breasts. You angled your hips, gripping his shoulders as you rubbed the slit of your sex into the hard length of his erection, your clit sliding against the underside of his shaft, and when he suckled against your nipple, you shuddered, making you whimper loudly.

"Mmm, yes," you murmured, closing your eyes as he lashed his tongue back and forth against your nipple, then gently bit the underside of your breast.

"So beautiful, fuck, I love how this perfect body is all mine," he cooed. He moved to the other, stroking your wet nipple as he pressed his other palm into the small of your back, guiding you as you ground against him. He murmured your name against your breast, and closed his teeth around your nipple. Your clit brushed the tip of his member and you moaned, hips trembling a little as you kept rubbing against him in a desperate attempt for some relief.

"Baby, get inside me," you moaned, and he kissed you between your breasts before he straightened. His dark-eyed gaze was intent on yours, watching as you were a complete and utter panting mess against him. He guided you up, angling himself under you, making you lean forward and you caught his earlobe in your mouth hungrily.

"Please, baby, please, oh fuck," you cried, and when he was just barely seated inside you, instantly you tilted forward, the tips of your breasts rubbing against his chest. He pressed the pad of his thumb against your clit, and you trembled as you sank onto his member, working your way down until your hips were flush.

You threw your head back as you thrust into him fervidly, losing yourself in the sensation of him inside you, filling you. When you took his full length and then gently circled your hips, his thumb still working against your clit, you both moaned aloud.

"Mmm. You feel so good," he growled. "Harder, baby," he urged breathlessly.

You adjusted your weight and he tilted back a little, changing the angle just slightly. When you began to bounce up and down on his member, he let out a louder moan, flicking your clit even harder, his other hand coming up to pluck at your breast. You cried out in pleasure when he squeezed your nipple between his forefinger and thumb, then did the same to the other.

"Yeah, babygirl, you're so fucking sexy," he panted hotly upon your moist skin, "so perfect riding my cock like this, oh fuck," he uttered gruffly around a grunt.

"Oh yes, Tetsurou," you sobbed as your inner flesh started to spasm around his member. You rode him harder, faster, seeking the friction your body craved without missing a beat, slamming your hips up and down upon his, frantically bumping into them without a care as your cries bounced off the walls of the room. "Yes, yes yes, baby, it feels so fucking good—"

"Come," he demanded hoarsely as he forcefully pressed down on your clit then slipped the pad of his finger into it with an untamed motion. Your arousal was making you shudder with desperation, and your sobs rose until you were almost screaming as he rocked up under you. Beads of hot sweat formed on his temple, making his hair stick to his warm skin as his body twitched with the sensation of engulfing you completely.

"Fuck, your pussy feels so good, baby," he praised, and your face flushed a deeper red, tipping your head back as your whole body trembled. You lifted your hips up and down as fast as you possibly could because you knew you were about to burst any second. You gripped his shoulders painfully tight for leverage when you finally reached your climax.

"Oh fuck," you mewled, rocking your hips side to side, almost corkscrewing down onto his member, and the wild movements of his finger stilled, groaning as he let himself come. You sank down onto him as he pulsed inside of you, and stayed lock to him, skin to skin, wrapped around each other.

Your head was against his neck as you panted hard upon his skin, eyes fluttering open as he tilted forward, letting both of your bodies fall back upon the soft cushion of his bed once you two shared a moment of simply attempting to get your breathing under control. He reached for the blanket, pulling it up around you two, over your bare shoulders, and then you realized you were shaking as your sweat dried on your skin.

"Mmmm," you murmured against his skin, placing a soft kiss upon his neck in a weak attempt to thank him.

Your migraine was now just a dull throbbing pain, and you felt so relaxed and satisfied that you went limp against his body. He lifted your chin up to make you face him, removing a few strands of hair from your face. He planted a couple of kisses along your shoulder and then your cheek. "So how's my girl feeling now? All better?" he asked with a chuckle, running his other hand down your back, feeling the soft flesh beneath.

"Better, much better," you purred as you stretched your body closer to his touch.

He chuckled, "Glad I could help."

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[guiltysecretpasttime]

Linzin Week 2021: Day 3 - Stargazing (part 3)

WIP Pre-Canon AU Lin x Tenzin Rating: Eventual M To the Linzin week 2021 organizers: Is it fine to post a WIP - a serialized contribution? Will post it in AO3 as well once completed ✌🏽 Read part 1 here.

Lin was looking forward to a quiet soak in the bath. She figured it was late at night enough that Tenzin would have retired to bed.

Upon opening the door, smoke wafted to her face. Something smelled… burned, she thought while coughing.

“Lin, is that you?” Tenzin’s voice came from the balcony.

“What happened?” Lin fanned away the smoke as she to him.

Tenzin was slouched on the outdoor chair, bottle of beer in hand. “I attempted to cook.” Tenzin’s face was pinched.

“Aw, you were supposed to have a dinner date?” She leaned on the doorway. “Scared the poor girl away?”

There was a strange look on the airbender’s face. “No…she didn’t show up.”

“I’m sorry.” She said and realized she was sincere about it. She pointed to him and waved to the still dissipating smoke. “Didn’t think to use airbending?”

“Oh.” Tenzin’s eyebrows furrowed. “To be honest, I wasn’t thinking straight.” Then he took a swig off the beer bottle.

Ah, it was that kind of night.

By all appearances, the airbender was a stickler for air nomad tradition. However, his parents both agreed to raised him and his siblings in a more liberal way. This resulted in the siblings to adapt any practices of their parents’ heritage into the quickly modernizing society.

And that includes the occasional alcoholic drink for this airbending master.

“How was work? A little bit late, isn’t it?”

“Terrible.” Lin slumped into the opposite garden chair and grabbed the bottle off Tenzin’s hand. “One of the detectives mucked up the paperwork. His sergeant and I had to work double time to meet the deadline for the indictment.” She took a gulp from the bottle before giving it back.

There was a relief in his expression that puzzled her.

“That’s grea- terrible indeed.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sarcasm still does not suit you, airhead.”

Tenzin continued to punctuate the otherwise quiet night air with comments about his day and questions about Lin’s.

They took turns from the bottle until Tenzin finished the last swallow. “This is nice.”

“Hmmm?”

“We haven’t had this long a conversation since... I don’t remember when.”

Huh.

Tenzin gestured to get more beer and she nodded.

She sat back, scratching her arm as she thought.

That was sad, in reality.

But nice. No expectations. Reverting to their old habits, their old patterns to before they became a couple.

She squinted.

That had been so long ago.

“Say, do you want to go up?” Tenzin held two bottles of bear, cold with icy condensation at its surface.

“I don’t see why not.” Lin stretched, took one bottle of beer then followed Tenzin to the rooftop.

There was no actual furniture on the rooftop, but there were some wooden crates that they had fashions into makeshift seats and tables.

Pulling up a crate, Lin remembered why they selected this apartment.

It was not in the more glamorous districts in the city. It was quite close to the suburbs, to be honest. That was something they both liked to have maybe in the future, a quaint quiet home in the suburbs. Until then, this is the closest they could get.

And well, they took it on because the apartment unit was at the top floor with easy access to the rooftop.

Tenzin settled little ways to the side, about two crates away from her.

She popped open both of their bottles.

“There isn’t a lot of stars tonight.”

A glance at Tenzin revealed he was observing the sky.

Lin simply shrugged. She knew him well enough to know that a Tenzin who has had alcohol is a talkative Tenzin.

“We were discussing about oral tradition earlier in class. One of the students shared about the Earth Kingdom superstition that you can actually use the stars to find your soulmate.” Tenzin hunched on his knees, picking at the label of the bottle. “Do you believe any of that?”

“Believe what?” She decided to humor him.

“Soulmates.” He replied quietly, not meeting her gaze.

“Soulmates���” Lin took a gulp of beer first, considering her words. “Can’t say I do.”

The airbender now turned to her. In his haste, his almost full bottle had liquid swished on the floor. “Why not?”

“I mean, look at people we grew up with,” Lin grimaced, using her fingers to count. “Uncle Sokka didn’t really settle down, did he? Was his soulmate the moon spirit? We can never know.” She took a tip and pointed out another finger. “My mom – we don’t even have to explain that further -.”

“But doesn’t the thought of someone out there to be with you sound, well, reassuring?”

“Not really. Sounds like a load of excuses not to put effort into a relationship since you knew from the get-go, you’re for each other.”

“So, you really don’t believe in soulmates?” Tenzin asked slowly.

“Pffft no, of course not. Soulmates? Oh, come on.” Lin decided a change in topic was needed as the current conversation was about to get maudlin.

 ---

He tore off the label of the bottle.

But, I do.

 ***

As with any of their annual vacations, aside from a day or two spent with the entire group, everyone was pretty much left to their own devices.

This made their farce a bit easier to pull off.

Tenzin decided early on to spend most of the time in their room. Lin was barely there anyway so it work.

Tock-tock-tock.

“I know you’re in there.”

Knowing that his brother will not leave until he acknowledged him, Tenzin opened the door.

Bumi entered without waiting to be invited in, hands behind his back. He made a face on the papers sprawled on the table and most of the other surfaces in the cabin room. “Come now, Tenzin – there’s a reason why it’s a vacation.”

“I need to get this done.” It was a weak argument, and he knew it.

Bumi knew it.

“We’ve seen more of Lin than you in the past few days. So that means you haven’t had a lot of couple time either.”

“We see each other all the time.” Tenzin prevaricated. Technically, they did occasionally cross paths at work.

 ---

Bumi rolled his eyes. “Sure – at work, eh? Well, if I can’t bring you out to the party – I’ll bring it here until to agree to get out.” He brought out his ammunition. “Uncle Sokka’s personal brew!”

Tenzin struggled to catch the tall suspicious (yet unfortunately familiar) bottle.

“I’m not drinking, Bumi.”

“Oh yes, you are.” He swiped the papers off the couch and plunked himself on it.

He did not really have any other agenda other than to get Tenzin relaxed enough to join them for tonight’s excursion.

Bumi grinned as his baby brother finally popped open his bottle.

 ---

But, whoo boy, a Tipsy Tenzin was a Talkative Tenzin.

 ---

“You’ve broken up for that long?! Spirits, Tenzin! Why didn’t you think to tell me or anyone?

“Look, I knew you were proposing to Izumi this week. We didn’t want to take that away from you.”

“Still.” Bumi pondered a bit. Maybe his brother needs a wingman now? “Do you want me to bring you over with boys, when we’re over at Republic City? We can introduce you or better yet, we can go around town now and -.”

“No, thank you, Bumi.”

“Don’t you still live together?”

“Yes.”

Are you stupid? “How is that going for you?”

“It’s fine. We’re now glorified roommates. It still gives me privacy from our parents, you know. And a bit of a sanctuary. And it’s fine. We do our own thing and it’s fine.”

“Bro, you said it’s fine too many times.”

“Lin’s totally fine with it.” A beat. “She’s a big girl, she can take care of herself. It’s not like she’d like to move back to their old house either.”

Bumi frowned but agreed.“To be fair – no one asked us about our relationship so we haven’t been lying.”

“Yes, you’ve been omitting the truth. I see you’re fitting really well in city hall, councilman.” Bumi patted him on the back.

 ---

Clunk.

“Oh, I’m sorry – did I wake you?”

The whiff of air that wafted towards him smelt of smoke, sweat, the odd smell of old alcohol, and something distinctly Lin.

“No, I was doing –.” His eyes scanned quickly the bedside table. “Some light reading.” He put up the pamphlet. “You didn’t disturb me.” He saw the clock say it was three in the morning.

“Sorry,” Lin was quickly pulling out clothes from her side of the cabinet. “Don’t worry – I’ll just take a quick shower and try not make a lot of noise. I’ll head on to bed too.”

Tenzin turned to his side of the bed, unwilling to think of what (or who, he thought distastefully) Lin might have been doing.

Not that she wasn’t in the position to do so. Of course, she was well within in her rights to do so.

Maybe telling Bumi wasn’t the smartest idea. True, he promised to keep it to himself.

Rather, Tenzin knew Bumi and the rest had gotten back to their accommodations a couple of hours earlier (judging by the racket when they were trudging nearby).

Usually, Bumi would have insisted to see to it that all of their party would have gone home together. But then again, knowing that Lin was now single, he probably did not mind if Lin had gone off on her own…

The sounds of the shower from the en suite can be heard.

Tenzin pressed his palms to his eyes.

He told Bumi it was fine.

Who was he kidding – it wasn’t fine. He wasn’t fine.

And, unfortunately, he didn’t know what to do about it since only one-half of the broken-up couple did not seem to be fine.

[maeve-writes]

Little Red Corvette

Pairing: TFATWS!Bucky x Reader

Rating: 18+; Minors DNI

Warnings: Fluff, some angst, public sex, slight praise and daddy kink.

Summary: Bucky finds happiness in fixing up classic cars. He has his sights set on one in particular. When he can’t find it, you make it your mission to do whatever it takes to get it.

a/n: This is written for @buckyblues 4k Follower Challenge. (Congrats again!) I chose Little Red Corvette by Prince. Normally I’m inspired by lyrics, but the idea of Bucky in a sexy red two seater with a pretty lil’ thing next to him made me weak. I wanted this to be straight up smut but feelings got in the way.

This is not beta’d. Forgive any mistakes!

-

When Bucky came to terms with his new life, found some peace in a world without Soldat looming over his shoulder, he found solace in his tinkering. He would often take apart whatever technology he could find to see how it worked only to put it together again. It was therapeutic, a constant reminder that things were never broken for long, someone would always be there to fix it.

You were the one to piece him back together. Sam helped, too, of course, tightening any loose screws you may have missed, but you did all of the heavy lifting. You found out what made Bucky work, what parts needed replacing and you fixed him. He would never be the original James Barnes, but no one ever stayed the same, and you didn’t want him to be. You liked the man you woke up next to every morning, who blinked at you with sleep hazed eyes and pressed lazy kisses across your face. You loved the man that ravaged you at night, on any surface, buried as deep as he could go so he could become a part of you, to feel you against his soul.

While you found his tinkering irksome at times, especially when he would steal the coffee maker or microwave when you were in a rush to get to work and just need to zap fry breakfast and fill up your thermos, it was mostly endearing to see his nose scrunched up in concentration as he disassembled things with childlike fascination. 

What broke you was when you flopped down on the couch with controller in hand and no console to receive its signal. 

Storming into the garage, you slammed open the door to find him hunched over his work bench. “James,” you hissed through clenched teeth. You could see his muscle tense underneath the grey henley he had on, his breathing stilled. Only two women ever used that tone with him, one was his mother, the other was you, and he wasn’t sure which he was more afraid of. When he didn’t answer, you leaned against the door frame and glared at the large frame of his back. “Care to tell me where my PS5 is?” 

His shoulder dropped slightly and he dared to look over it at you. Bucky had seen death, had seen war, had seen the near end of the universe itself and nothing made his blood run colder than the receiving end of your icy stare. “I’ll put it back together,” he offered. The grinding of your teeth made him flinch and he dropped his tools to cross the room and make things right.

It took two months to find a replacement for your beloved PlayStation. How could he have known how hard it was to find one in stock? Even when it came in and he hooked it back up for you, you still held out one more day before you finally caved and forgave him with a two day fuckfest that ended with a proposal that Bucky moved on from electronics to cars.

He took the suggestion and ran with it. The next day he and Sam went to the junkyard to find a good frame with potential and towed it back with that bright, genuine smile of his and an eagerness to get started. He spent days on the internet ordering parts, looking up facts on what modern modifications worked best, and watched video after video of reviews on classic sports cars.

You found him in the garage most nights when his dreams became too much and he didn’t want to wake you. Some nights you would bring him snacks with a kiss and leave him to his work. Other nights you would climb behind him on his bench, wrap your arms around his waist and sleep against his back. Either way, you allowed him to work because that’s what Bucky needed.

When he wasn’t off on a mission or wrapped up in you, he was researching cars or fixing them. After one was finished from the base up, he’d give it away or offer it to a charity auction, then start all over. He had his favorites, every “car guy” did, and he also had his white whale.

One night you felt him crawl up your body impressively hidden behind the spread of your book. You lifted a curious brow but before you could lower your novel, he shoved his tablet in your face as he took a seat on your thighs. “Every time I try to find one, someone snatches it away,” he told you, voice a little huffy as if he was seconds away from a tantrum. 

“It can’t be that hard,” you tutted, tucking your book away to help him with his search. It turned out that it was incredibly hard to find any sort of form of his new obsession. Every post that either of you found had been sold or had a sale pending. Even body frames were hard to come by, much to your luck. “I’m sorry, babe, but we’ll find one soon.”

Bucky resigned himself to finding a filler car. While he was still enthusiastic about fixing up something new, you could tell his heart was set on it - the 1965 Corvette Convertible, specifically, Rally Red in color. There wasn’t much that your man asked for in life, even though it owed him so much, so for him to yearn for one thing so much and not be able to obtain it, it upset you.

So, you were going to make it happen. 

You spent your days working as usual and your nights searching for his coveted car. Your browser was filled with tabs, each watching car auctions, only to be outbid on all of them. Frustrated, you flipped on your VPN, opened up your TOR browser and dipped into the dark web to dig deeper. It wasn’t your first time going through back channels to get what you wanted and it wouldn’t be your last. If it would make Bucky happy, it would be worth the risk.

Two weeks later you told Bucky you would be working later than usual. You had been playing up a huge project at work and the deadline was coming closer. He, of course, hated when you were out past dark without him, but he never vocalized his concerns because he knew the bite he would receive in return. You could take care of yourself, he knew that, but he would still worry because that was his job.

You took an Uber from work to meet the seller at the small airport on the edge of the city. The man was from Germany and specialized in vintage cars; if he didn’t have one you wanted, he’d find one for a hefty price, of course. But any amount was worth your man’s happiness, at least that’s what you tell yourself as you held the small bag of cash in your hand as you crossed the airfield.

Sitting outside what you assumed to be a private jet was the cherry red two seater, top already down and looking as beautiful as the picture you saw online. Yeah, it was going to be worth every penny. “Jonas,” you asked as you approached the man standing cross armed next to the car. He towered over you by at least a full foot and a half and was just as wide. His dark eyes watched you approach, a curious flint sparked in them.

“Yes. You are early,” he noted. He held out a beefy hand and you placed the money in it. “Not one for pleasantries, hmm?” His laughter echoed across the runway and you offered him an amused smile. “Your man is a lucky one.” His other hand was held out, this time with the keys to the car. “For you to meet a complete stranger in the middle of the night, it is dangerous, no?”

You narrowed your gaze and lifted a brow. It seemed your look was enough of an answer because Jonas gave you another laugh. “A woman of very little words, I like you. We will do business again, yes?” It was a statement rather than a question. “Enjoy.”

He swept an arm toward the driver seat and you slid inside. With a turn of the key, the car purred to life and a smile grew on your face. You revved the engine twice, nodded to the man a few feet away before you sped towards your house to give Bucky his gift. 

When you got home, he wasn’t there. You found a note left on the kitchen counter: Beers with Sam. -B

Normally you wouldn’t mind him going out because you were happy that he would be even willing to leave the house, but to only leave a note and not text you seemed worrisome.

You pushed any more negative thoughts out of your mind and headed to take a shower. By the time you got out and headed back to the kitchen to make yourself a quick sandwich, Bucky was home, sitting on the counter and watching you. “Hey, handsome, how’s Sam?” You leaned up to kiss him, but it wasn’t returned. “Something wrong?”

“You weren’t at work,” Bucky said evenly. “We stopped by to grab you dinner and you weren’t there.”

Your skin heated and you sighed. “Bucky, I can explain-“

He cut you off with a dismissive wave of his metal hand. “Don’t bother. If you’re seein’ someone else, you can just tell me.”

You recoiled like he slapped you across the face. “James,” you snapped, which caused him to tense up, “I would never, ever even dream of being with anyone but you.” You forced your way between his legs and cupped his face in your hands to make him look at you. “You are all that I want and no one will ever compare to you. Don’t ever say that again, okay? You’ll break my heart.”

He didn’t say anything, not for a few minutes, and neither did you. All he could do was stare into your eyes and see the truth in them. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s okay, I know why you did,” you assured him and pressed another kiss to his lips, this time you received one in response. “Now, can I tell you why I wasn’t at work?” He nodded once, a tiny glint of worry still lingering in his eyes. “Well, I’d rather show you.”

You stepped away from the counter and pulled him along with you. With his hand in yours, you led him to the garage and flipped on the light with a, “Ta-da!”

“Oh, darlin’,” he breathed as he let go of you and stumbled into the room towards the car, all of the fear, worry and angst melting away instantly. “How did you-“ You pinched your forefinger and thumb together and twisted them in front of your pursed lips. He rolled his eyes but smiled and gestured to the driver seat.

“All yours, handsome,” you winked and hit the button to open the garage door.

He shook his head and patted the seat next to him, “You’re comin’ with me.” When you protested saying you were in your night clothes, he waved it off. “We’re just goin’ for a drive, sweetheart, nothin’ to dress up for.” You joined him with a reluctant sigh and flopped into the passenger seat. 

When the key turned and the engine purred, Bucky let out a pornographic moan. You turned to him, brow perked. “Sweetheart,” he rasped, “you have no idea what this car does to me.” Your eyes flickered to the quickly growing bulge in his jeans before his deep chuckle caught your attention, “Or maybe you do.”

He reached over to pinch your chin between two metal fingers before crashing his lips against your own. His tongue fought its way inside of your mouth and licked sinfully against the roof of it. “Buckle up,” he whispered against the gasp you released as he sat back.

Lightheaded, you did as instructed and watched him adjust the mirrors and lights before he pulled out of the garage and sped down the driveway and through the neighborhood. His face was bright in the evening light, his smile outshone the moon. “You’re gorgeous,” you told him breathlessly, and you would have most likely not been heard over the wind whipping around you by any other person, but your super soldier caught every syllable and flushed at the compliment.

He took your hand into his and brought it to his lips, kissing each knuckle before it came to rest on his thigh. You could feel the happiness radiating off of him, seeping into your own pores and filling you up until your lips turned up into a matching smile. “What’re you thinkin’ about,” he asked you, flicking his attention from the road to you and back again.

“You,” you replied, “always you.”

The smile on his face grew and he squeezed your hand once more. He found a new happy place, one outside of your shared home, one not between your legs. It was there, in that car, racing free down the open road with his best girl in the seat next to him. “I’m thinkin’ about you, too,” he said as his hand guided yours towards his lap.

“Mr. Barnes,” you gasped playfully but allowed him to rest your hand against his tented jeans, “we can’t do this, it’s sinful.”

“Live a little, darlin’,” he played along, forcing you to squeeze him which caused him to groan.

You pinned your bottom lip between your teeth and rubbed at him over his clothes, feeling the heat of his arousal coming off him in burning waves. Your fingers worked open the button of his pants and with a little maneuvering, you were able to fish out his cock, hard and thick, violently red and dripping with need. His hiss as it hit the cool air caused you to jump back for a moment, but his needy whimper drew you back again. “I swear to god, Bucky, if you crash and kill me, I’m going to haunt you,” you warned him.

He blinked, taken aback by the rather brash statement, about to ask what you meant by that but you were already unbuckled, bent forward and taking him into your mouth. “Oh fuck,” he groaned, metal hand gripping the steering wheel tight enough to pop the stitching on the leather coating. 

Your tongue swirled around his tip, gathering what leaked out before you flattened your tongue and took more of him in. He was thick and long, hard to take all at once, but you had learned from many hours of practice just how to get all of his glorious cock down your throat. Your hands worked what wasn’t wet with your tongue yet as you bobbed up to suck on his head and relax your jaw. “Feels like heaven, sweetheart,” he cooed above you, his free hand bundling up your hair to keep it out of the way. “Fuck, your mouth works my cock so good.”

Delighted at his praise, you hummed in return that sent sparks to his core. You took more of him in, nearly all of him, with your cheeks hallowed and your tongue dancing along his skin. More praise fell from his lips, encouraging words and filthy promises, you almost forgot you’re in the car until the tires started to hit the bumps along the white line - an indication that Bucky was veering off of the road.

You pulled off of him much to his disappointment and saw that he parked along the side of the road. “What’re you doing,” you asked, wiping your spit away with the back of your hand. 

“You told me not to crash,” he shrugged and undid his seatbelt. “Now get over here and ride Daddy’s cock.”

The words hit you dead center and you nearly collapsed from how weak and needy they made you. “We seriously can’t do this, Buck, anyone can come by and see.”

“That’s livin’, darlin,” he replied. His flesh hand wrapped around his cock and started to pull on it, staring at you with half lidded eyes and a groan rumbled in his throat. “Are you gonna just sit there and stare or are you gonna enjoy the ride?”

Absently, you licked your lips and watched his hand work himself and honestly felt a little jealous of it. That was your cock, it was your responsibility to make it feel good. Thoughts of getting caught and thrown in jail over public indecency were thrown out of the window and you crawled over to him, losing your sleep shorts on your way over.

“No panties? That’s my good girl,” Bucky grinned, his hand moved from himself to your hips as you climbed into his lap. “Been thinkin’ about this pretty pussy all day.” He hungrily licked his lips and reached between your bodies to run his fingers through your folds, drawing a gasp from you. “Absolutely soakin’, hm? Been thinkin’ about me, too?”

You nodded, your pussy clenching around nothing as Bucky’s fingers teasingly danced around your hole. “Daddy,” you whined, desperate for any sort of attention, “please?”

“What do you need, sweetheart,” he purred, his thumb ghosting over your clit as your slick began to run down your thighs. 

“You, Daddy,” you answered, hoping that was enough. “All of you. Only you.”

Bucky seemed to be happy with that and slid two thick fingers inside of you. “Such a greedy little pussy,” he hummed, slowly pulling them out again as you whined above him. “You need to be filled, don’t you, baby? My fingers won’t be enough.”

Your teeth dug into your bottom lip once more, threatening to draw blood, when you shook your head in response. “Need your cock,” you told him. “Please.”

“Always askin’ so nicely, sweetness, how could I deny you?” He twisted his fingers inside you one last time before he held himself steady so you could line up. “Sink down on Daddy’s cock like a good girl.”

You steadied yourself with one hand on the headrest of his seat and the other was used to guide his tip towards your core. Once he slipped inside, your hand shot up to grip at his shirt as you lowered yourself with satisfied moan which was nearly drowned out by Bucky’s. “Too big,” you sighed, seated and feeling stretched and full.

“But you’re takin’ it, darlin’,” he smiled up at you, his skin flushed and covered in a thin layer of sweat. “You’re doing so good.” You preened at his compliment and returned his smile. “You move when you’re ready.”

You took the time to adjust to angle and his size, leaning down to exchange a lazy kiss. When you parted for air, you shifted your weight to wrap your arms around his neck and raised your hips to slide up his cock only to slam back down with a moan.

“Is that how you’re gonna to play it, sweetheart,” he asked breathlessly. When you replied with the same harsh roll of your hips, Bucky growled and his hands found your hips. You could feel the bite of his grip against your bone, you knew the bruises it would bring in the morning, but it would be worth it. “Can’t have a nice, slow fuck in the car, can we? My girl needs it hard and rough.”

He shifted his legs to plant his feet firmly on the floor of the car and started to meet your hips with a harsh snap of his own. Delighted at the feral snarl that curled his lips, you increased your speed, bouncing on his thick thighs as he fucked up into you, a growl erupting from him with each meeting of your hips. “Yes,” you gasped, “that’s it, Daddy. Just like that.”

“Yeah, I know how my dirty little girl likes it,” he grunted over the sound of your skin slapping and your slick sex sucking him in. “I can hear how much she likes it.”

Your head fell forward as he pounded up into you, the lewd squeak of the seat joined the chorus of your moans. “So close,” you told him.

But he already knew by the way you fluttered around him, coaxing him toward his own end. His metal hand left your hip and moved between you to seek out your swollen bud. “Gonna cum for me, good girl,” he asked. You tried to answer, tried to nod, but the way his hips shoved up into you and the cool metal against your heated sex that rubbed desperately at your clit was far too much.

A delicious snap came from within you and spread a white hot fire throughout your body. You came with his name on your lips, a desperate, holy cry. And he wasn’t far behind, a few hard thrusts and he spilled into you, whispering praise and adoration.

You stayed joined until the mess between your legs became itchy and the bugs started to swarm from the sweat on your bodies. “Best mill and half I’ve ever spent,” you sighed happily, lifting off of his lap.

“Wait, how much?!”

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Author Spotlight: Gleefuldarrencrissfan Day 2

Author: @gleefuldarrencrissfan

Share one of your strengths.

I've been told that I do a great job writing in each character's voice, especially Blaine, Kurt, Santana, Brittany, and Finn.  It's very important to me that my characters remain true to who they are.  I work very hard to make sure that each one sounds like they would in the show.  

I've also been told that I'm great at cliffhangers.  Honestly, I end on cliffhangers a lot as I try to figure out which route I plan to take for the story.  I map out stories, but sometimes, the story takes me in a different direction.  I also like to take suggestions from my readers.  Many times, I have multiple scenarios on the direction in which the story can go.  I love keeping my readers on their toes. 

Share one of your weaknesses.

Well, because I have so many scenarios running through my head, I sometimes get stuck, and so, I don't update regularly.  I used to try to publish weekly or more, but as a mom of two, a full time assistant in a high-needs classroom, an avid crafter, and a member of a band, my plate stays pretty full.  I hope that my readers will subscribe and drop a comment from time to time to remind me to keep writing. 

Which fic has been the hardest to write?

I'm going to bring up two, Dueling Duets and Love, Blaine.  Dueling Duets is a complex fic with many characters and a very intricate plot.  On top of that, Blaine has PTSD, as do I.  It became too painful to finish this, so it is the only fic of mine that is abandoned.  I would like to finish it, but I just don't see that happening any time soon.  

Love, Blaine was so difficult for me because I wrote it all before publishing, and I thrive on feedback.  I kept going back and rewriting scenes over and over because I just couldn't make up my mind about certain things.  I also get anxious with a timeline hanging over my head, and so I went past the deadline.  Unfortunately, my appendix decided to burst the week I was supposed to publish, so I was trying to write through the pain.  I did finish it, and I'm proud of it, but I probably won't put myself through that again. 

Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Private Messages, by far.  Honestly, it was so easy because Kurt was me in a sense, a fanfic author, desperate for feedback on his writing.  I also outlined this fic thoroughly, and so it just seemed to flow when I got to a certain point.  It is by far, my most popular fic, and honestly, it is my favorite of all of the ones that I've written.  Don't get me wrong.  It was very complex, bouncing back and forth from Blaine's and Kurt's perspectives, with plotlines from the show, Kurt's story, and the actual story all coming together and interweaving at times making it difficult to write, but I always knew where it was going, and so it was the easiest to finish. 

Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

It's one of my passions, along with music and crafting.  I'm an artist at heart, and so I'd never be happy or fulfilled in life if I wasn't creating in one shape or form.  I honestly love the way art makes you feel, both as the artist and as the person affected by other people's art.  My favorite thing is one someone tells me how my writing or work made them feel.  

I'm also writing educational children's books, and I hope to inspire kids in the future to love to learn, and so it is a major passion of mine to be a published author and get my books out there for kids to read. 

Is there an episode or character or arc above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Blaine Anderson.  He was by far the character that inspires me the most, probably because I see myself in him, the confident, happy performer who is really quite insecure and maybe even depressed. I wish that the show would have let us see more of his personal life.  At felt like, at times, he was just Kurt's boyfriend, but he was so much more than that.  It would have been nice to actually see his home, his parents, and his brother to get greater insight on why he is the way he is.  Thank god for fanfiction.

What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Just write.  The first draft does not have to be perfect.  That's what editing is for.  Get yourself a beta, dig in, and just get the words on the page.  No one can read your work if the pages are all in your head.  

What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Stick to what you know.  That's what research is for.  Branch out.   Explore.  Interview and talk to others.  Although, if you are researching something embarrassing, for example, Brazilian waxing, use incognito mode.  lol. 

If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Private Messages.  I just love this story, and I think it would best translate into a movie.  Besides, Blaine is an actor in this one, so it works. 

What’s your process? Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? What are the perfect writing conditions for you?

Ha ha.   I find it funny that I have a process because it depends on the fic I'm writing at the time.  for my more complex stories, I do best when I map them out first.  I don't do a complex map, just a basic synopsis of the first 10 chapters or so, and then a rough outline afterward.  Of course, I keep it a soft outline, and I also plan a few other scenarios in case the story goes in a different direction.  Even Chris Colfer says that his characters surprise him in his stories, and so I'm in good company, I suppose.  

However, on my shorter stories like Rim Job, and idea just comes to me, and I just write what comes to me, and then I even take suggestions from my readers about further chapters.  I guess it just depends on the tone of the fic.  If it's serious, I'm much more structured, but on my less serious pieces, I just have fun and write.   

The perfect conditions are when I'm alone (be it when others are sleeping or out of the house) and I can just allow my muse to work.  I put on some background noise (Glee music or episodes) for inspiration and just sit down in front of my laptop with my notebooks.  Many times, I have scenes written in my notebooks before I type them out (I write when I'm waiting at the dr.'s office or at work during a break, ect) so all I have to do is type and polish the scene.  Unfortunately, I have several scenes in my notebooks that haven't made it into a word document yet just because of lack of time.  Hopefully, I will catch up this summer.

***

Check out Gleefuldarrencrissfan’s Fics

Somewhere Only We Know -  Blaine has three little words on his mind when he says good bye to Kurt in the court yard at McKinley. Can he make himself declare them out loud? An alternate ending to "Born This Way"

Silly Love Songs -  It's Valentine's Day, and Blaine had plans to serenade Jeremiah. But what if Blaine discovered the doodle Kurt made in Silly Love Songs before he serenaded Jeremiah? The scene at the Lima Bean is canon and everything to the point of Kurt sketching the doodle, but the ending, of course will be how I had hoped it would've happened.

Courage -  Do you believe that one moment can change the course of your life? That one event change the way you saw everything, or do you think it's a series of moments that build from one experience to the next. A year ago, I would've said that was crazy. But I'm not the same guy that I was a year ago.

[kaesaaurelia]

books and reading in 2021

Overall I’d like to read at least 65 books for 2021 and I’d like for most of those to be new-to-me and things I either already own or have listed as to-read on Goodreads.

So far I have read 11/65 books and 4 fanworks.

Themed reading challenge checklists and brief book reviews are under the cut.  I may or may not finish any of these challenges; again, my goal is to cut down my to-be-read list and unread books I own, and themes and deadlines help me pick a book rather than hemming and hawing.

Book reviews answer the questions “Did I like it? Was it good? Would I recommend it?” (please note these are very different questions) and how many stars I rated it.

I may put fanfiction, webfiction, and other things that are very much not traditional books down on here as well, depending on how booklike I’ve decided they are.

The FFA reading challenge, 2021 (2/12 books)

JANUARY - The Pandemic Year - a medical thriller, or a book about medicine The Poisoner's Handbook: Murder and the Birth of Forensic Medicine in Jazz Age New York by Deborah Blum Did I like it? Yeah! Was it good? I think so.  Sometimes the prose meandered in such a way that I felt the author was kind of saying dun dun dun! under her breath at me, and I was like “idk, is that significant?” but usually it was good. Would I recommend it? Do you have a strong stomach? Then sure. 4 stars

FEBRUARY - Macavity/Ratigan - a genre you wouldn't normally read Jane Doe by Victoria Helen Stone, book 1 in the Jane Doe series Did I like it?  Yes!  Very much!  The power fantasy of being able to take vengeance against people who hurts your loved ones, without feeling bad about it, was really appealing to me, a person who feels guilt over a frankly ridiculous number of things.  It was also genuinely funny. Was it good?  I thought so.  The narrator had a really strong voice that struck the right balance between creepy cold indifference and endearing little moments of self-discovery. Would I recommend it? Yes, but with the caveat that there’s some pretty serious emotional abuse of the protagonist’s false persona (which she encourages and privately gloats about), and she also gets close to committing serious violence, including fantasizing at length about it. 5 stars

MARCH – 100+ Comments of Terror - a book set in the arctic, or a book about an expedition In the Land of White Death: An Epic Story of Survival in the Siberian Arctic by Valerian Albanov (ordered)

APRIL - Sexy John Oliver Rat – a book about animals, or a book with a character called Oliver or Olivia A Libertarian Walks Into a Bear by Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling (hardcover)

MAY - A Feud in Wolf-Kink Erotica - a book involving wolves, the legal system, or ripped from the headlines Song of the Summer King by Jess Owen (ebook)

JUNE - Showerhead Wank - a comedy of manners, an etiquette manual, or a book where someone wanks or has sex

JULY – My Shithead Is What You Are! - a book with profanity in it, or a book about themes of censorship

AUGUST - Yep, Still Indoors - a book involving travel, or being stuck in one place

SEPTEMBER - Socktopus, Maybe? - a book where someone has a secret identity, or a book about aquatic animals

OCTOBER - Politics is Sequestered – a book involving politics or politicians Boss: Richard J. Daley of Chicago by Mike Royko (owned in DRM’d ebook)

NOVEMBER - It's Canon in Spanish - read a book originally written in Spanish, or set in Latin America

DECEMBER - Apple Is a One Syllable Word - a book about language/linguistics/etc., or a book with a two syllable title. 

Around the Year in 52 Books (8/52 books)

A book related to “In the Beginning...”: (Using the subprompt a book set in the ancient world) The Odyssey by Homer, translated by Emily Wilson Did I like it? Yes; it was definitely a less comfortable read than prior translations I have read, but a more interesting one, I think.  A lot of details leapt out at me that I had either forgotten or that had been overlooked in the 3ish literature classes I have read the Odyssey for. Was it good? Yes! Would I recommend it? Probably, with the caveat that if you are just in it for a cool mythology story you would probably prefer an adaptation rather than a translation. 5 stars

A book by an author whose name doesn't contain the letters A, T or Y The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis Did I like it?  I really read this for the worldbuilding of Hell, so I liked that; to some extent I did also like some of the musings on how a lot of human foibles that people like to think of as virtues can actually be kind of shitty.  On the other hand, Lewis and I disagree about a lot of things -- mostly that whole Christianity thing.  So I liked it with caveats. Was it good? It was okay!  Again, I was not really there for the Christianity stuff.  I am never there for the Christianity stuff.  I am either precisely the wrong audience for all of C.S. Lewis’ stuff, or, if you look at it a certain way, precisely the right audience, but even if you look at it that way, he is never going to convince me; I wrote furious postcanon fanfiction about the dwarfs when I reread the Narnia books as a teenager and realized they were meant to represent people like me. Would I recommend it?  Probably not?  Unless you frequently write demons or other evil creatures trying to figure out how humans work, which I guess I am. 4 stars but only because that reveal at the end is great

A book related to the lyrics for the song "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music (The cover depicts a rose with raindrops or dewdrops on it.) Ensnared by Rita Stradling Did I like it? In a sense.  In a sense, I enjoyed this book.  It was a Beauty and the Beast retelling, and I like Beauty and the Beast.  There were robots, and I like robots.  And it certainly gave me something fun to talk about.  However, it also inspired me to try and figure out when and why I acquired this book, and while I still don’t know why I bought it, I was relieved to find that I only paid 99 cents for it.  For a more thorough description of the plot, please see my Goodreads review.  It was a weird book to start with, and then it really, really didn’t age well. Was it good?  IT SURE WASN’T. Would I recommend it?  No.  However, if you decide to read it I’d love to hear what you think.  Please.  Please talk to me about this book. 2 stars

A book with a monochromatic cover The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair That Changed America by Erik Larson Did I like it?  Yes, very much!  Also it accidentally became fic research.  I genuinely was just thinking “where do I slip Leonard into this narrative so he can try and fail to sabotage the Ferris Wheel?” and then I began to think about how much Leonard would admire and envy H. H. Holmes’ ladykilling ways.  But in general it was a really good read and had a lot of... Chicagoness, which I of course am fond of. Was it good? I thought so!  Obviously a lot of the narratives of Holmes’ murders were mostly the author’s speculation, but there were a lot of great research tidbits in there, and the picture the author paints of the World’s Fair was vivid and wonderful. Would I recommend it?  Yes, with the warning that this is true crime and there is vivid narration of several murders, including the murders of several children. 5 stars

A book by an author on USA Today's list of 100 Black Novelists You Should Read Wild Seed by Octavia Butler, book 1 of the Patternmaster series Did I like it?  Yes, but it was intense.  It takes a lot of skill to keep me reading and invested through so many horrors; the protagonist’s children and loved ones die on-page multiple times, in horrible accidents or senselessly murdered, and it hurts every time, but I kept reading.  Admittedly I am (predictably) extremely here for immortal enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies angst, so that was probably part of it. Was it good?  Yes!  I am kind of sad that I’m not just moving on to the next in the series (there are 3 more books), but also, god, I’m not sure I could handle it. Would I recommend it?  Yes, definitely, with the caveat that it is very dark and very sad. 5 stars

A love story Deal with the Devil by Kit Rocha, book 1 of the Mercenary Librarians series Did I like it?  It was good!  I gather both of the authors who are Kit Rocha were (are still?) in fandom, and it shows in the right ways; it doesn’t shy away from depicting sex pretty explicitly but there’s a lot of emotion in it, and the main couple is a m/f couple without the book being unpleasantly heteronormative.  Like, yeah, it’s about a big butch macho dude who’s broken inside and a woman who’s very caring, but the big butch macho dude is genuinely kind and not like, violent for the hell of it or overprotectively jealous, and the woman doesn’t drop everything to Heal His Pain.  (Also I think most of the characters, including the romantic leads, are established to have had same-gender lovers at one point or another without that being considered unusual or wrong in the setting, so that’s nice.)  It’s also a cheerful and optimistic post-apocalyptic book about two found families coming together to make the world a better place, despite the very grim backstories of pretty much everyone in the story, which is really nice. Was it good?  It was okay.  It was good popcorny reading; it’s not winning any literature prizes, but it sets out to be fun and readable and exciting, and it is all of those things.  Also, as noted above, the prose has a lot of the strengths of fanfic (not being afraid to mix genres, not being afraid of writing sex earnestly and emotionally but also explicitly, strong emotional focus) without the much-derided stereotypical weaknesses of fanfic. Would I recommend it?  Probably?  This isn’t a must-read; it’s happy to be idfic so if it sounds like it’d scratch your id I would recommend it, but it might not be Your Thing and that’s okay too. 4 stars

A book that fits a prompt suggestion that didn't make the final list (Using the subprompt a book related to a local industry or small business) The Gangs of Chicago: An Informal History of the Chicago Underworld by Herbert Asbury Did I like it? NO.  NO I DID NOT.  It made me genuinely angry.  It was a useful read for fic research and unfortunately I’ve got it in my little fic-writing reference material corner in my office but I DID NOT LIKE THIS BOOK IT WAS VERY BAD.  Many questionable or outright incorrect assertions and implications, and extremely racist and sexist.  For details, see my review on Goodreads. Was it good? It was actively bad. Would I recommend it? Not unless you are interested in it historiographically, or on the off chance that you are trying to find some fiddly details about a particular bit of Chicago crime history, but also have no responsibility to make sure those fiddly details are correct when you use them in the project. 1 star

A book set in a state, province, or country you have never visited The Last Duel: A True Story of Crime, Scandal, and Trial by Combat in Medieval France by Eric Jager Did I like it?  It was okay.  It was definitely interesting but not amazingly life-changing. Was it good?  It was fine!  I did think the underlying rape case was handled surprisingly sensitively given that this was a male author writing about 20 years ago about a medieval rape accusation and trial, but there is a chapter that is basically just the victim’s account of her rape, and it’s very brutal. Would I recommend it?  Do you want to understand more about trial by combat in the Middle Ages, and/or learn about how medieval people treated rape victims?  You should definitely read this book.  But if that doesn’t particularly interest you, probably not. 3 stars

A book you associate with a specific season or time of year Summers at Castle Auburn (ebook borrowed from CPL)

A book with a female villain or criminal Sin in the Second City: Madams, Ministers, Playboys, and the Battle for America's Soul by Karen Abbott (owned in paperback)

A book to celebrate The Grand Egyptian Museum The Oasis by Pauline Gedge (ebook)

A book eligible for the Warwick Prize for Women in Translation The Memory Police by Yōko Ogawa (on hold at CPL; est. 3 week wait)

A book written by an author of one of your best reads of 2020 The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow (on hold at CPL; est. 10 week wait???)

A book set in a made-up place Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey (paperback)

A book that features siblings as the main characters Sisters One, Two, Three by Nancy Star (ebook)

A book with a building in the title

A book with a Muslim character or author

3 books related to "Past, Present, Future" - Book 1

3 books related to "Past, Present, Future" - Book 2

3 books related to "Past, Present, Future" - Book 3

A book whose title and author both contain the letter "u"

A book posted in one of the ATY Best Book of the Month threads

A cross genre novel

A book about racism or race relations

A book set on an island

A short book (<210 pages) by a new-to-you author

A book with a character who can be found in a deck of cards

A book connected to ice

A book that you consider comfort reading

A long book

A book by an author whose career spanned more than 21 years

A book whose cover shows more than 2 people

A collection of short stories, essays, or poetry

A book with a travel theme

A book set in a country on or below the Tropic of Cancer

A book with six or more words in the title

A book from the Are You Well Read in World Literature list

A book related to a word given by a random word generator

A book involving an immigrant

A book with flowers or greenery on the cover

A book by a new-to-you BIPOC author

A mystery or thriller

A book with elements of magic

A book whose title contains a negative

A book related to a codeword from the NATO Phonetic Alphabet

A winner or nominee from the 2020 Goodreads Choice Awards

A non-fiction book other than biography, autobiography or memoir

A book that might cause someone to react “You read what?!?” Missing 411: Eastern United States by David Paulides (terrible pdf copy I’m not paying $100 for a book about extradimensional bigfoot)

A book with an ensemble cast

A book published in 2021

A book whose title refers to person(s) without giving their name

A book related to "the end"

There’s No Business Like Snow Business February Reading Challenge (8/8)

Snow is precipitation in the form of small white ice crystals formed directly from the water vapor of the air at a temperature of less than 0°C (32°F).

Read a book that has snow on the cover or snow in the title. Killing Dragons: The Conquest of the Alps by Fergus Fleming Did I like it? It was okay.  There was more about the personalities involved in early mountaineering than I did about actual mountain-climbing, which was fine, but didn’t get really exciting until those personalities got really dysfunctional. Was it good?  Again, it was okay.  The prose wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t gripping, and there was some odd (lack of) translation on occasion.  The research seemed thorough and solid, though. Would I recommend it?  Not really, unless you are specifically looking to research the Alps or early European mountain-climbing enthusiasts for a writing project or something, in which case, of course. 3 stars

Precipitation: Read a book that has any weather related term in the title. Trail of Lightning, book 1 of The Sixth World, by Rebecca Roanhorse Did I like it?  Yes!  This took me back to my first forays into urban fantasy as a preteen/young teen.  I loved the Diana Tregarde books and also Harry Turtledove’s The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump, and whenever I want urban fantasy that’s kind of the pattern I’m looking for?  An unfriendly world full of myths that are real and living and breathing and otherworldly but also they are probably trying to bum a cigarette off you.  I haven’t reread my favorite childhood urban fantasy because I think it probably won’t hold up, and later urban fantasy has mostly been not quite what I wanted, but this book was like being that kid all over again.  I’m not super familiar with Dine folklore/mythology so it was neat to learn a little bit about that, too, although obviously to learn those stories maybe don’t go to an urban fantasy novel. Was it good?  It was pretty good!  The prose wasn’t like, stylistically exciting, but it conveyed the plot well, and I did like the narrative voice, and the characterization was good, I thought. Would I recommend it?  Absolutely.  Content warning for violence (as per urban fantasy) and a child dies violently early on in the book, but if you were the kind of kid I was but you’re not really into paranormal romance or Harry Dresden, give it a try. 4 stars

Small: Read a book that has less than 200 pages. A Butt in the Mist: Stirred to the Core of My Bodice by the Duchess Triceratops of Helena by Chuck Tingle Did I like it?  I mostly did, but it wasn’t super exciting.  I liked the free book afterwards better.  It was funny, but Chuck’s been funnier. Was it good? This 4,000 word book was written with all the quality and attention to detail that I have come to expect from beloved author Chuck Tingle. Would I recommend it? Not really?  It was funny, but I think I like his more metafictional stuff better, and I think he gets a lot weirder with his m/m stuff; if I’m reading Chuck Tingle, I want it to be weird. 3 stars

Snow is formed of crystals and is a slang term for diamonds. Read a book in which a gem or other mineral can be found in the plot, title, or cover art. Ombria in Shadow by Patricia A. McKillip Did I like it?  Mostly!  I love the lush visuals of McKillip’s prose; they more than live up to the also gorgeous covers.  Dreamy fairytale stuff but with solid emotions and a good sense of place. Was it good?  I think so, although the dreamlike quality of the prose does mean you’re liable to miss something if your attention drifts. Would I recommend it?  Yes, I think so. 5 stars

Snow is a dessert made of stiffly beaten whites of eggs, sugar, and fruit pulp. Read a book with a dessert on the cover, or read a book in which a dessert is made. Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder by Joanne Fluke, book 1 of the Hannah Swensen series Did I like it? I enjoyed parts of it, but I thought it really suffered at the beginning, when our introduction to the detective was “not like other girls, not interested in DATING and MEN” and our introduction to her older sister is “she was a DITZY CHEERLEADER and now she’s married with a kid but she’s a HORRIBLE CAREER HARPY who WORKS ALL DAY and puts her child in DAYCARE and CAN’T COOK” and that was all just very tiresome.  The sister does turn out to have redeeming qualities and useful interests, but the way these two and their mother interact is all like, if you were asking yourself whether there’s such a thing as toxic femininity and what that would look like, it’s these women.  Aside from that, it was fine; it was a cozy mystery novel about a bakery specializing in cookies.  I will say, I did appreciate the Midwesternness of the small town Midwest setting. Was it good?  Not really.  I did kind of have to handwave a lot to let the detective get away with all the HIPAA violations and crime scene disturbing that she does, but it is a cozy mystery. Would I recommend it? Probably not; I’ve heard this series gets better so if you’re interested in the series and/or like the idea of cookie-themed cozies, maybe start with a different book, unless you’re a completist like I am. 3 stars

Snow is slang for cocaine. Read a book about drugs or drug addiction. The Man With the Golden Arm by Nelson Algren Did I like it?  It was not a fun read, by any means, but Algren’s prose is fantastic and it was such a novelty to see such a familiar accent represented by eye dialect.  (Which I know has fallen out of fashion and is considered the mark of a bad writer, but I really don’t mind it if it’s done well.)  It’s one of those books where nobody has a fair shake and everybody is doomed, but it doesn’t feel gratuitous.   All the characters are horrible to each other, but in fairness they are also horrible to themselves; it’s all they’ve ever known. Was it good?  Yes.  It was extremely good and I’m considering buying a physical copy so I can write things in the margins.  This is actually really weird for me to do; in high school we occasionally had to turn our books in so our teacher could be sure we were writing in them Correctly, and I found it a little painful, but I did want to do it with this book. Would I recommend it?  Yes, if you’re up for a really depressing story about heroin addiction and poverty. 5 stars

White is the color of snow. Read a book that contains white in the cover. The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin Did I like it? I definitely did.  I haven’t read much Le Guin yet for some reason, and while this did initially start off feeling exactly like just another ‘70s SF story where in the future we’ve solved all of psychology and it’s super mechanistic, it was really fascinating and surprisingly, unpleasantly prescient. Was it good?  I thought so!  There were some parts of it that were pretty awkward about race, from a 2021 perspective, but it does actually deal with race in a way that made me think “yes, that’s exactly what would happen as a consequence of this plot, and it would be horrible, oh no, oh shit,” and it is horrible. Would I recommend it?  I am not sure I would!  I would recommend it in like five years, assuming those five years are not much like the last five years.  Hoping and praying that those five years are not much like the last five, really.  The premise of the book -- which I haven’t explained, I realize -- is that in this near-future environmental dystopia, the main character can change things in real life by dreaming about them, and he would like to not do that, only he is put under the care of a psychiatric researcher who tries to play God.  So this poor man literally wakes up every day to a brand new dystopia and it felt... familiar. 4 stars

To snow someone is to deceive, persuade, or charm glibly. Read a book about a con artist, or read a book about deception. Empire of Deception: The Incredible Story of a Master Swindler Who Seduced a City and Captivated the Nation by Dean Jobb Did I like it?  I did.  I have joked that my own personal reading challenge this year is to fill up the Chicago shelf/tag on my Goodreads account, and this book was recommended to me in that spirit, and I always like hearing about a. Chicago; b. the 1920s; and c. con men conning people. Was it good?  The prose was fine; it was fun but I think the thing I appreciated most was all the punny newspaper headlines. Would I recommend it?  If you are someone who perks up at the sound of at least 2 out of 3 of the themes of “Chicago,” “1920s,” and “con men,” yes. 4 stars

2021 Q1 challenge: Changes (3/20)

Read a book that features:

The word "change" (Changes, Changing, or other variations) in its title. Weeds: How Vagabond Plants Gatecrashed Civilisation and Changed the Way We Think About Nature by Richard Mabey Did I like it?  It was all right.  I like hearing about plant history, and the chapter on plants unexpectedly surviving/thriving on battlefields and bombing sites was particularly interesting to me. Was it good?  It was okay, but kind of poorly-organized; there were chapter themes but it felt awfully stream-of-consciousness sometimes. Would I recommend it?  Maybe not unless you’re really into botany and Western anthropology.  (As in, the study of Western cultures; this book does not do much with other cultures.) 3 stars

The theme of money or money on its cover (loose change). Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik Did I like it?  I really, really liked it to the point that I feel kind of silly about it, gotta say.  I’m really, really hit or miss on the author’s work (both fanfic and profic) but the themes of this were perfect for me; Russian fairytales, a cynical but earnest sort of Judaism, creepy fairy abductions, interesting worldbuilding, and women coming together to help each other.  (Also some interesting enemies-to-lovers stuff that wasn’t really developed on the “lovers” side, which I would have dug.  Like its precursor, this book has a lot of f/f friends-to-lovers subtext and hostile canon het.) Was it good?  I don’t know?  I liked it enough that I genuinely don’t know if it was well-written. Would I recommend it?  I would, but I’m not sure you should trust me on this???  Again, this book really, really hit me in the id. 5 stars

An adaptation of its original format (book-to-manga, translation, etc.) Murder on the Rockport Limited! by Clint McElroy et al Did I like it?  It was okay, but not nearly as good as the original podcast’s murder train arc.  The art was good and all, but, eh. Was it good?  It was fine.  I’m not sure how into the DM/character conversations I am, and I found myself having to pause and reimagine the dialogue in the various McElroys’ voices, which wasn’t good because it meant I wasn’t automatically reading them in those voices in my head, which is a major litmus test I use when I’m deciding whether I want to keep reading a fanfic. Would I recommend it?  Definitely not as a standalone thing. 3 stars

The author's initials found in the word "change" Helen of Sparta by Amalia Carosella (in progress)

Separate book sections or part of a series of three or more books (make change) The Seduction of the Crimson Rose by Lauren Willig (in progress)

An author or character writing under a pseudonym The Maker’s Mask by Ankaret Wells (in progress)

A topic or character about which you feel differently now than in the past. La Belle Sauvage by Phillip Pullman

Changing one's mind about a life decision. A Tapestry of Magics by Brian Daley

Switching careers/jobs. The Goblin Emperor by Katherine  Addison

Relocating to a different city, state/province, or country. Fire Season: Field Notes from a Wilderness Lookout by Philip Connors

Cultivating new daily habits. How to Be Fine by Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer

A character who shifts shapes or identities. The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing & Coming Out by William Dameron

Life changes due to age Two Old Women: An Alaskan Legend of Betrayal, Courage, and Survival by Velma Wallis

A medical transformation Specials by Westerfield, Scott

A life-changing experience. Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, & the Prison of Belief by Lawrence Wright

A changing household The Girl from the Other Side: Siúil, A Rún, Volume 1 by Nagabe

An action or phenomenon that transforms society or the world. Hard Times: An Oral History of the Great Depression by Studs Terkel

Replacing one thing with another (change out) In Vino Duplicitas: The Rise and Fall of a Wine Forger Extraordinaire by Peter Hellman & Charles Constant

Technological innovation Tubes: A Journey to the Center of the Internet by Andrew Blum

A game-changer. The Sleepwalkers: How Europe Went to War in 1914 by Christopher  Clark

Fanfic Reading Challenge recs (1)

I have a private checklist with the fanfic reading challenge data, but will not be sharing all of the fics; fanfiction is generally an amateur endeavor, and many people do not enjoy receiving (or stumbling across) criticism of their work.  Bad reviews are normal and accepted as part of commercial publishing, and professional authors (hopefully!) get paid for their work, so I’m comfortable criticizing published novels.  I would prefer not to publicly criticize someone’s writing when they are just writing for the joy of it, especially since some of the tasks require me to read first-time authors’ fics, fics with relatively low kudos counts, fics for ships I don’t like, etc.  So I’m only putting the recs here.

Romancing the Tome by Anti_kate Good Omens; Aziraphale/Crowley; ~40k words; rated Explicit Romance novelist Aziraphale Wilder is pulled from his carefully ordered life when his sister is kidnapped and held to ransom. With the help of antiquities forger Anthony J Crowley, he braves the wilds of Scotland to rescue her and keep a priceless book from falling into the hands of dangerous book thieves. Did I like it?  Yes!  It was cheesy and cute and basically what I want out of this kind of romcom AU fic.  I’m not normally into human AUs and this one wasn’t like, super deep or anything, but it was very fun. Was it good? I thought so!  The dialogue was great, I enjoyed the characterization, the sex was good.  I do think the Crowley in this fic is pretty self-loathing in a way that I don’t see canon Crowley being at all, but I have a weakness for that and I also think self-loathing works for a human version of Crowley.  One thing it doesn’t shy away from is Crowley doing genuinely awful stuff (instead of being a misunderstood woobie) and yet the resolution is sweet and lovely anyway. Would I rec it? Yes!  Go read this fic.  It’s fast-paced but long enough to be worth settling in to read, it’s funny, and it’s sweet. 5 stars

In Holy Matrimony by Myracuulous Good Omens; Aziraphale/Crowley; ~6.7k words; rated General From the private journal of Alisha Jones, wedding planner, concerning the nuptials of Anthony J Crowley and Aziraphale and the planning process thereof, containing an account of chosen decor, guest list construction, and the holy war against the Antichrist that nearly ruined six months of professional organization and a very nice dinner. Did I like it?  Yes!  It was extremely cute, and I always really like outsider POV.  I did appreciate the fact that poor Alisha definitely knew something was definitely weird, but kept telling herself not to question it because a gorgeous wedding with an unlimited budget and zero issues with scheduling, catering, guest limits, etc. is a great problem to have. Was it good?  It was pretty good!  The climax and wrap-up felt a bit rushed, mostly due to the limits of outsider POV, but I did enjoy Aziraphale unexpectedly embracing his inner groomzilla while also being unfailingly sweet about it. Would I rec it?  Yup, especially if you want wedding comedy/fluff and outsider POV

Wrong Turn by anticyclone Good Omens; Aziraphale/Crowley; ~38k words; rated Teen And Up Lots and lots of somethings are wrong. First, Crowley's nearly hit by a car. Then he almost brains himself tripping over new and excessive piles of books at the bookshop. To add insult to near-injury, Aziraphale starts throwing knives at him. Safe to say his day could be going better.

The thing that's the most wrong of all is the universe, of course. In this one there was never an Arrangement. Aziraphale and Anthony (they can't both be 'Crowley') aren't friends and they certainly never agreed to prep for Armageddon. Unfortunately, the end of the world is two days away.

So that's something Crowley really has to fix before they can figure out how to get him home. Did I like it?  Oh yes.  I had read bits of this on ffa previously, and also anticyclone is a good writer (and a friend) so like, I was expecting it to be good; I was not disappointed. Was it good?  Yes!  I was particularly impressed at how much alternate backstory is set up in little hints here and there, and then explained more thoroughly in ways that take the AU Aziraphale and Crowley by surprise when they do finally get to talking. Would I rec it?  Yes!  Especially if you like a nice dose of enemies-to-lovers along with your friends-to-lovers, and also the awkwardness of meeting your alternate universe self.

Finished in January, not for reading challenges (3 books):

The Way of Kings, book 1 of The Stormlight Archive, by Brandon Sanderson Did I like it? It was fine. Was it good? I think so.  I am maybe not the best audience for epic fantasy at this point, partly because I’ve read a lot of it and partly because I habitually read 3-7 books at once at any given time. Would I recommend it? Maybe, but I feel like most of the people who would enjoy it have probably heard of it already. 3 stars

Get a Wiggle On, a Good Omens fanzine Did I like it? Yup! Was it good? Mostly, although as usual with zines and anthologies, quality varies piece by piece.   Of the fics I particularly liked “A Head Above Water,” “The Grapes of Mild Irritation,” and “Concerning the Great Serpent Glykon and the Angel Clothed With the Sun,” all of which are now available on AO3. Would I recommend it? If you like snakey Crowley, yes. 4 stars

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne Did I like it? Yes, very much!  A very silly thing I particularly liked (which unfortunately you cannot really replicate) is that the edition I have is an illustrated hardcover book from 1926 which I picked up cheap at a used bookstore, knowing I would like it because Jules Verne.  I didn’t think much about that specific date when I bought it, but I am now writing a fic set in 1926, with a character who has a habit of reading adventure novels and who I have specifically mentioned enjoyed Jules Verne in his childhood, so when I discovered the date the coincidence made me very happy.  The book itself smells very nice, it’s nice to hold, and as I was reading it I kept thinking about what Danny would think of the book, and whether he would try reading it aloud to Crowley, and wondering if the book smelled as nice in 1926 as it does now.  Maybe I will have Aziraphale give this book to him as a very small thank-you for all he has done to keep Crowley alive and well. Was it good? For the most part.  Jules Verne is prone to wandering off on tangents where he shows you his research, but I’m sympathetic to that, and there’s some really cool and atmospheric scenes in this book.  My favorite character was definitely Captain Nemo, who we don’t really learn much about.  Could have done without Conseil, the bland servant character who could be a naturalist in his own right, if he had any opinions of his own, or the period racism/imperialism, which unfortunately is so built into this kind of adventure novel.  But the environmentalism was a nice surprise, and you can definitely read some critiques of certain aspects of (Western?) culture at the time into Captain Nemo’s behavior; I have not yet read The Mysterious Island where Captain Nemo also appears, but I do get the impression a lot of people read him as being disgusted with imperialism. Would I recommend it?  Probably!  With the caveats above.  It was a good adventure story with some awesome visuals, and I kept thinking about what a pretty movie it would make with modern SFX, and how sad I would be that they would inevitably not spend just 3 solid hours on cool fish and interiors of the Nautilus and scenes of the lost city of Atlantis and Captain Nemo being very mysterious and dreamy scary, because they’d probably shoehorn an awkward romance into it. 4 stars

Finished in February, not for reading challenges (2 books):

The Deception of the Emerald Ring by Lauren Willig, book 3 of the Pink Carnation series Did I like it? I did.  It was a silly Regency romance novel with espionage elements, it is the third of a series I have enjoyed, and it contained an accidental/forced marriage to preserve a lady’s honor despite neither party to the marriage particularly liking or wanting to have anything to do with each other, and some misunderstandings about that.  Also spies. Was it good?  Not really.  It was fun and I liked the characters, but I don’t think the writing was of particularly high quality.  The handling of certain elements of English imperialism was not great, and bothered me enough to note it in my review on Goodreads. Would I recommend it? I’d recommend the series if it sounds like something you’d like; I might not recommend this specific book. 3 stars

The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley Did I like it?  No.  It was very dark, and I did not enjoy most of the book.  A lot of it was because it was very gritty and grim, and because I frequently don’t enjoy military fiction; a lot of it was because many of the dystopian aspects of our present reality that came to a head in 2020 were magnified in the book.  Part of it was also that the protagonist’s entire reality and memory was being denied for much of the book, and I think it reminded me of being gaslit.  (This is not a criticism of the book, or some kind of weird accusation that the book or its author was somehow abusing me, I just have this personal history.  In fact, it turns out the main character is being gaslit to some extent, and the author writes it very well.)  It was a minor relief when she finally decided the stuff she was going through was real, and a huge relief when she was able to talk to someone who believed her. Was it good?  Yes, I think so. Would I recommend it?  Not right now, but I think this would be a good book to read at a time when the world feels more stable.  I don’t say this because I want you to wait until everything’s fine to read it; I say this because it feels like a good anti-complacency read. 4 stars (3 for not being an enjoyable read, 5 for the actual plot; it averages out.)

In progress, not for reading challenges (1 book):

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by 墨香铜臭

[sebsallowapologist]

Pothos

Hi! While I have my nerve I’m going to post this- I haven’t written anything for public eye in a long time. 

I’d been thinking for a long time that Bella & Edward’s love story would be so much better if Bella had the chance to mature a little bit. So I wrote this:

When Edward left Bella in New Moon, what if he didn't come back until he was sure that Bella wasn't going to live happily ever after. It's 7 years later and Bella is floating through life as a 25 year old in Los Angeles when he comes back into her life.

Please please please tell me what you think or if this is worth continuing. 

The elevator ride was quiet, just the muzak playing and the quiet dings as we passed the floors that lead down to the basement. Most other people in the office would go home as soon as their computers told them it was 5:00, seldom staying until 8:00. They had families to get home to, dinners to be had, husbands to kiss and tell them how their day was. I filled up that time by staying a few hours late at work, until I got the message that we were meeting up at Umbrella tonight.

When I’d gotten word that morning that Mike couldn’t make it out tonight it made my blood drain from my face. If we wouldn’t go out then shy Angela would have bailed on me too. Theres power in numbers, and two girls alone at a bar wasn’t something Ang was comfortable with. Or maybe she was as long as I wasn’t the only other girl there.

Now that I had some plans for a Friday night I could stomach leaving work behind, moving from one distraction to the other. I shove my phone into my back pocket and grabbed the little black backpack I carried before shutting off my computer and walking out of the cubical I spent 60 hours a week sitting in.

Most people craved the weekend, spent the 48 hours of freedom trying to undo all the work they did over the weekend, but I was the opposite, my weekends were spent trying to run away from my own thoughts, mostly through drinking until I could feel my brain sloshing in my head and then working over my days off, desperately trying to prove to my company, and myself, that I deserved to be there, and it wasn’t just because my guardian angel put me there.

My guardian angel.

The one who got me into UCLA when I applied late and with horrible grades. My guardian angel who made sure I passed every college course, despite how much I didn’t understand the work. My guardian angel who got me the job at Variety, to make sure I was writing and doing what I thought I loved. I hated him, but I took all of his gifts, even though I haven't earned any of them. I was selfish and was plagued by the thought of the person who should have the life I was living, the one I took for granted. All because he felt guilty and I was too weak of a person to deny the silent gifts.

I make it down to my car and throw my backpack on the passenger seat of my little four door, another gift from my guardian angel. Or was it just a coincidence that someone was selling a barely used safe car just for the price I could afford as soon as I needed it? The truck had finally wheezed its last breath my senior year of high school, it was so symbolic it almost hurt, but it was right. A pick up truck didn’t make sense for Los Angeles, I would have spent my salary on gas alone.

I rest my head on the steering wheel, keeping the car keys gripped in my hand as I take three deep breaths and let out everything that happened at work today. The deadline that was moved up without my knowledge, the bitch who took the last k-cup on our floor which made me go to Starbucks this morning.

I sigh and stick the key in the ignition and crank the car to life and back out of the spot without letting the engine warm up. I pull to the mouth of the garage and flash my badge to the attendant, who let the gate rise and let me out. I wave and give a half smile while he waved me on and turned down the street, heading for my apartment.

Los Angeles had ruined my driving, you just didn’t get around this city in any kind of timely manner if you didn’t treat yellow lights like a suggestion. I made it home in a reasonable amount of time, since almost all of rush hour had already died down.

I lock up the car and walk up to my side of the duplex. The duplex I loved, covered in flowers that were cared for by the old woman who lived next door, the old fixtures that reminded me of what Los Angeles used to be- a golden era of film and mob crime. What made LA interesting, as opposed to what it is now- an influencer filled hellhole. I open up the door and slam it closed, the only way the hinge would catch.

I throw my bag down next to the pile of shoes next to my door and head to my small bathroom to freshen up. I bite my lip and stop at the wall of plants lining the window in my living room. Fuck I should water those. The plants all stemmed from the singular pothos plant my neighbor had given me when I first moved in. She taught me that when it grew, a stem could be cut off from the rest of the plant and placed in water. The little section of plant, given the right circumstances, could develop its own root system and thrive on its own, without the home it had once known.

So I did it once, wracked with anxiety that I would kill one of the few flourishing leaves on the plant. It sat in water for weeks before the small root stuck out of the stem. One root became two, and then three as it grew and reached the bottom of the mason jar, and all of a sudden I had a whole other plant that was thriving, the scar I had given it from taking it away from it’s home had grown, and made it possible to survive on its own. So I did it again, and again, until my apartment was covered in pothos vines. I walked around my apartment and watered each one of them until their soil was damp before continuing with my night.

I wasn’t going to any club, but a brush through my hair and a little mascara on the eyelashes doesn’t hurt. I had to act quickly though, since I was getting texts from Mike about every five minutes asking where I was. I tell him that I’m on my way and throw on a jacket over the thin silk and lace top I wore. I didn’t live far from our favorite bar which made stumbling home a few nights a week extremely convenient.

***

The Melrose Umbrella was the bar for people who thought they were too good for bars. The Hollywood nobodies lined the walls, drinking the drinks they could barely afford while trying to all sleep with each other. I’ve been guilty of it, I’d brought home quite a few conquests home from the Umbrella, when I felt like it. I find Mike and Ang at the back of the bar, sitting in our normal booth.

I wasn’t sure if having a normal booth at a bar in a city as big as Los Angeles was something to be proud or ashamed of, but it was our home. I put my bag down and take off my jacket, smiling lightly at my friends. “Sorry I’m late, I’m getting a drink, anyone need?” I ask and they both raise their hands. I laugh a little and head over to the crowded bar, trying to lock eyes with Paul. Pretty Boy Paul the bartender. He smiles and I hold up three fingers, signaling that I needed a drink for his three favorite regulars. He nods and I relax a little, waiting for our drinks. “Hey.” I hear and I turn around to see a man, average height, average build, nothing special about him talking to me like he deserved my attention. “What’s going on tonight, beautiful?”

“Drinking.” I mumble and nod at Paul when I get my three drinks. “Let me get your next round. I’m an actor and-” He starts and I almost roll my eyes out of my head. An actor. Great. “Oh really? What restaurant?” I ask and collect my drinks and go back to our booth, leaving him in the dust.

“You should really make them think they have a chance, it looks like you just kicked his puppy.” Mike laughs and I roll my eyes, sliding him his beer and Ang her margarita. ���But he didn’t.” I mumble and Mike rolls his eyes, “What? Don’t need anyone to keep your bed warm tonight?” He jokes. The few times a year I brought a man back over to my apartment were national holidays to Angela and Mike, who insisted that I just needed a more steady flow of orgasms to fix whatever was broken with me. Every time it fell short. Every time I had sex with someone else it wasn’t one tenth- no one one hunderth of the attract, thrill and wholeness that came from just kissing E- No.

“I got a heated blanket, and no. I’m getting black out tonight.” I smile and place the vodka water at my lips, the lime hitting my lips as I take a big sip. As if that was different from any other night we spent at Umbrellas.

Drink after drink I talked with my friends, until my brain was too slow and too cloudy to think about him, until he wasn’t the underlying stream of consciousness that was always going through my mind. The last call bell rings and I sigh, grabbing my jacket. “Alright, I gotta go, I need to work on a piece tomorrow.” I mumble and Mike chuckles. “You would consider 1:45 in the morning to be calling it an early night.”

“I’m a saint.” I smile and he nods. “Do you need help getting home?” I shake my head. “I’ll make it the two blocks.”

I lift my last drink up to my lips and finish it’s remains, letting an ice cube fall into my mouth. I wave to my friends as I exit the bar and let my shoulders curl forward as I shuffle my way back to my apartment. Another successful night. If you could call it that.

I keep my hood up and finally make it back to my place, shedding my jacket at the door. It was too hot. My stomach rumbles and I groan, I hadn’t eaten at fucking all since lunch. I stumble into the kitchen and find a pot, tossing it onto my gas stove before bringing out the boxed mac and cheese.

With shaking hands I get enough water into the pot and set it to boil, leaning over the stove to watch the bubbles rise, but you know what they say about a watched pot, or whatever. As soon as I deem the noodles “done” I drain them and mix in the milk, haphazardly cut butter, and finally the packet of powdered cheese and mix it together, bringing the whole pot into the living room to enjoy my dinner in style. I set the pot down on my coffee table and groan, the burner. I wasn’t so drunk I was going to burn my house down. Stumbling back to the kitchen I glanced at the stove top, expecting to see a small red flame, but everything was off. I was better than I thought.

I walk back to the couch and start eating the mac and cheese while I scroll on my phone. Seeing stories from everyone’s Friday night, posts of everyone laughing with their friends. And I had done that. Succeeded at being a normal human girl. To an extent.

I’d had that smile on my face, I’d laughed and danced, but I just wish it didn’t feel like a cover. I felt like my whole life I was hiding someone’s secret. Tears prick at my eyes as I land on a couple, laughing together outside of a bar, her hands on his chest. I lock my phone and place it face down on the couch. I couldn’t- be around that anymore.

I abandon my full pot of mac and cheese and stumble off to bed, shedding my shirt, my pants, and my bra at my hamper before falling into the bed, pulling the covers up to my chin.  

***

They say hangovers get worse as you get older, but I haven't experienced that yet. When the sun creeps in through my window my biggest symptom is the light headache that I know would go away with some coffee and an aspirin.

I lay in my bed and let a little whimper out of my lips as I stretch. I freeze when I hear the sound that must have woken me up, three quick raps at my door echoed through the apartment. My brow furrows, no one ever comes by. I lean over and check my phone, anyone I knew would tell me before they came over.

I hear the knocks again and roll out of my bed, I was going to have to go in blind. I grab my jeans from last night and a UCLA sweatshirt off my floor, pulling them on as I walk to the front of the apartment. “I’m coming!” I call as I get the knocks again, impatient. I push my hair off of my face and look through my peep hole.

The distorted image did him a massive disservice.

His bronze hair was covered by a dark hood. His white skin was shaded but still brillant, it made my headache scream just a bit.  His golden eyes looked through the peephole and I gasped when we made eye contact, not that he could see. “Bella?” I hear and every muscle in my body freezes. He had to know that I was standing on the other side of the door. My name sounded angelic coming out of his perfect lips. I’d never loved the word Bella so much.

My hand shakes as it moves to the doorknob.

[bangarangbitch]

Starting Over

It’s hard not to mourn the body you once had when your current state is nothing more than a soft, weak shell that can no longer perform the demanding tasks you used to enjoy. I got comfortable with being comfortable. Which, if you think about it, is ridiculous because now my body is incredibly uncomfortable any time I attempt any physical task. 

About three and a half years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. I worked out for about two hours every day: cardio for an hour, and weight lifting for an hour. I went to the gym before and after work. I was sitting at a lean 15% body fat with visible abdominal muscles. I could climb a rope, scale across monkey bars, climb over 7 foot walls just by muscling up (for a 5′7″ girl, that’s pretty good). 

Then I got married and slacked off a bit. I stopped paying attention to the food that I put in my body. It became less about fueling myself and more about eating what tasted good. I started skipping days at the gym, especially if I had a hard day at work. If the day was particularly bad, I had a beer or two (or sometimes even more)

It wasn’t all bad. I was still doing endurance events and performing at a relatively high level. I had just finished one of the most grueling events of my life, a 60 hour non-stop endurance event. I finished, but didn’t perform as well as I had expected. I vowed to come back stronger and better the next year. 

Then 2020 hit. The pandemic. My gym closed. We purchased a good amount of equipment and turned our garage into a home gym. We have dumbells, a squat rack with a barbell and full set of weights, a multi-use home gym for lifing, a bike, a treadmill, all the resistance bands you could ever want, medicine balls, a kettle bell, etc. We also live in a city with wide open spaces for hiking and running. 

But did I commit to training? No. I could not find the motivation to work out by myself in that dark and dingy garage. I spiraled downhill even more. I would justify getting take-out. I would binge-drinking more often than I did in college. I repeatedly hit the snooze button on my alarm and skipped workouts. Sometimes I would binge eat until I was so full that I couldn’t sleep, my stomach tight and cramping by stuffing it with more food than it could reasonably digest. 

I gained 30lbs. I could no longer fit into my slacks. I started wearing scrubs to work instead. My manager commented on my change of style, and all I could say was that I would only be wearing things with elastic waistbands from now on. 

I tried to get motivated. Sometimes I’d be good for about a week, but then I’d slump back into old habits. 

Then something happened. My husband went out of town for a week. Prior to this, I hadn’t had the house to myself in over a year as he now works from home. I had time to reflect on my current state, how I got here, and how I could dig myself out. I happened to buy a book on a whim: Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins. 

Something about that book spoke to me. His “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps,” no bullshit mentality really spoke to me. My current state was no one’s fault but my own, and no one but myself could pull me out of this hole. 

Each day is a small victory. Each day sticking to my diet and workout plan, avoiding sweets or alcohol when the days get rough, is one step forward to a healthier life and healthier coping mechanisms. I don’t have a time-frame in mind. I am not setting a deadline to be “finished” with this challenge. The challenge is to make life-long changes. 

[hemmingsmendess]

Welcome Home- a.i. l.h.

Poly!Lashton x female reader

Warnings: Anal sex, vaginal sex, female receiving oral, dirty talk, daddy kink, voyeurism.

After a rough day at work, you come home and find your two boyfriends fucking on your bed, after you watch for a little bit, you join in on the fun. 

word count: 1,382

Rating: Mature(18+)

You let out a sigh as you pulled into the driveway of your shared house with Luke and Ashton. Today has been a really tough day, there were so many deadlines you have to make by the end of the week, and you had no idea how all of the work was going to be completed. You could feel the stress drain from you body as soon as the front door was open. 

“Babes! I’m home!” you shouted, expecting a reply from at least one of your boyfriends, to your dismay, the house stayed silent. I wonder if they went out to run some errands you wondered to yourself as you took a few more steps into the house. The sudden noise that came from your bedroom upstairs made it obvious that you were not alone. 

“Babes, what are you doing?” you shouted as you began to walk up the stairs. As you make your way to the second floor, it became obvious that the noises you heard was one of your boyfriends moaning. You were pretty sure the moans were coming from Luke, he could barely keep his noises in when he was being pleasured. 

You were quite surprised, though also pleased, to open your bedroom door and find Luke with his hands tied to the headboard with Ashton’s cock buried deep inside him. Luckily the two men hadn’t heard you enter the room. 

“Oh, daddy!” Luke moaned out as Ashton gave a hard thrust. “Please!” 

“What do you want baby boy?” Ashton smirked as he looked down at Luke, who looked completely fucked out at this point. “You want your mistress here, hm? Want her to help me make you come?” A moan slipped past your lips, finally making the two men aware of your presence. Ashton gave you a wicked grin as he started to thrust into Luke with more force. 

“M-mistress,  how long h-have you been standing there?” Luke stuttered out. 

“Not long. I must admit, this is a great greeting.” you replied as you went and took a seat in the chair in the corner of the room. The seat gave you the perfect view of how Ashton was thoroughly fucking your submissive boyfriend. Ashton looked over his shoulder to where you were sat, he gave a quick smirk before turning back to look at the man lying beneath him.

“y/n, how should we take care of our baby boy?” Ashton questioned. 

“I’ll get my turn with him when you’re done daddy, wanna see how hard he can come on your cock.” you replied, sending Luke the most innocent smile you can manage. The submissive man let out a loud moan, a mixture of being promised pleasure from both his daddy and mistress, and Ashton finally hitting his prostate. Ashton gave a wicked smile at the way Luke’s back was arching from the bed. He gave one more powerful thrust before stopping his movements. 

“If you wanna come, you gotta beg for it.”  Luke let out a breathy whimper as Ashton began his movements again. 

“Fuck daddy, please let me come. Wanna show mistress how good you make me feel.” Another moan escaped your lips at Lukes words. You had always loved how responsive he was to any pleasure he would receive from either of you. You could give him a small once over and he would be down on his knees, begging for either Ashton’s cock or your pussy. 

“What do you think y/n? Do you think our little slut deserves to come?” You put a pondering look on your face as you observed how desperate Luke was for release. You paused for a moment, making Luke think that you were not going to give an answer. After a solid minute of watching Luke writhe under the pressure of Ashton’s body, you gave a nod of approval. Ashton began angling his hips to make sure each thrust hit Luke’s prostate. Luke’s back was arching off the bed as his mouth opened and closed around silent moans. It was less than a minute later when Luke’s body tensed, his orgasm hitting him like the strength of a truck. An almost pornographic moan ripped through his throat as Ashton hit his release too and filled his hole with his seed. The younger man was panting hard as you made your way over to the bed. 

“You did so good for daddy, you’re such a good boy.” Luke whimpered. He loved when you praised him after Ashton was finished using his hole. “Do you think you can come for me too?” you asked as you ran a hand through his blond curls. He gave a weak nod in response, still recovering from the strength of his orgasm. You smiled down at him as you turned to give Ashton a passionate kiss. You turned around in his hold as he began to place kisses down your neck. You could feel his hands wandering around your body, looking for the zipper on the back of your dress. When Ashton had finally found the piece of metal and helped you remove the dress, you made your way back over to Luke. You were standing in front of the bed completely naked, having skipped out on any undergarments today. Luke licked his lips as he looked over your body, pausing on your perky breasts. It was no secret they were his favorite part of your body. 

“What do you want baby boy? Want me to ride you? Milk you dry then make you lick me clean?” You teased as you straddled his waist. You could hear Ashton moan from behind you. It was only a second later that you felt his chest pressed up against your backside. You took a minute to tease his cock with your pussy lips before you sank down onto his length. He let out a high pitched whine, still a little sensitive from his first orgasm. It took no time for you to adjust to his size, you were able to begin bouncing on him fairly quickly. Luke let out a half growl, half moan as you clenched around him. You knew it wouldn’t take long to make him come again, so you began to spit out the dirtiest thoughts that came to your mind. 

“You gonna come inside my pussy? Make a mess, clean me up with your mouth?” you moaned out. “I know you love to eat me out after you come. Taste us both” 

“Fuck! I’m g-gonna come!” Luke shouted. You could feel Ashtons hand slip under Luke and squeeze his balls, trying to help him finish.

“Come on baby boy, come for me and daddy.” Luke’s body spasmed violently from the force of his orgam, he didn’t even feel you pull off of him. He only noticed when he felt something wet dripping onto his lips. He opened his eyes and was met with your pussy above him. 

“Come on baby boy, clean up the mess you made.” Luke began licking at your pussy with every ounce of energy he had left. He knew how much you loved his mouth, and knew exactly how to make you come. 

You felt yourself getting closer to the edge as Luke wrapped his lips around your clit and started sucking. Luke was soon licking you in long, hot strokes, making sure every single inch of your pussy was touched. You could feel Ashton”s fingers push Luke’s mouth away, quickly replacing his spot on your clit. You fell over the edge when Ashton began circling his fingers around the sensitive bundle of nerves and Luke tensed his tongue, quickly fucking it in and out of you. A groan of both their names escaped your lips as you felt the waves of pleasure wash over your body. You lay down next to Luke, your head resting on his chest. Ashton moved to the other side of the young man, untying his wrists then laying down next to him. 

“Fuck, I need to come home and see you two fucking more often.” You giggled as your eyes began to droop with tiredness. Ashton and Luke let out soft chuckles as you all lay in a heap on the bed, one by one slowly drifting off to sleep.

[hoodiedidnotdie]

Maybe

Pairing : Bloo x artist reader (ish)

Genre : Fluff(?), Angst(????)

Summary : you're Bloo's next door neighbor and sometimes you're also his escape

A/N : there are so many Bloo angst on here and my heart can't take it ;w; so sorry if it feels very self-indulgent....

Bloo leaned against the railing, a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of alcohol in the other. Despite the soothing wind of the night that cooled significantly the otherwise hot weather, frustration was still making his skin crawl and worsening his mood.

Earlier during the night Nafla had convinced him to stop and rest after seeing him irritated towards the lack of progress in his new track. The red head had to gently coax the man out of the studio with a promise that he'll help him the next day and take a few drinks with him. Daniel reluctantly left and had decided to head to the closest bar he could find ahead of time to try and drink away the negative thoughts.

Walking into stuffy place filled to the brim with intoxicated people seemed to not help his current sour mood. Usually it really wouldn't have bothered him, but seeing so many happy and free of stress while he was slowly sinking into madness trying to figure out his next song, which was also his income, ruined the experience for him. Daniel remained near the entrance for a while, debating whether to leave and drink alone at home or stay and wait for Nicholas to join and hopefully lighten his mood.

The latter choice was chosen when the idea of trying to persuade his friend to pay appeared. After fixing his shirt and jacket, the man headed towards the drinks.

However, before he could even take a few steps closer to the counter, the view of the girl who had oh so excitingly planned to move in with him after months of dating grinding down on another man stopped him in his tracks. The same girl texted him Goodnight 2 hours ago.

Anger flared up to cover the hurt he felt and without wasting time he ripped off the matching necklace he wore. Daniel stalked angrily through the crowd, pushing people left and right to reach her. The said accessory was then roughly pushed into her hand.

"Can't fvckin believe how fvckin cheesy I became for a b!tch like you." He lowly growled to her frozen face.

With that, he turned away and left, leaving the whole bar staring at either his horrified ex-girlfriend or his livid back.  It's only after reaching the convenience shop a few blocks away did he remember to text Nafla to forget about the promised drinks.

Shoving his shut off phone in his back pocket, he used the crumbled bills he found in his pockets to buy whatever alcohol he could afford from the shop. The young cashier was both surprised and scared to see one of his favorite artist visibly fuming while ringing the products at the machine.

The walk for Daniel to home was filled with angry and sad thoughts and curses. When the key to his apartment failed multiple times to insert itself in the slot he was ready to scream out profanities in the middle of the hallway.

All these events eventually led him to pulling his hair restlessly while smoking and drinking on his balcony in the middle of the night.

Finally, after another drag from his dying cigarette, he let out a tired sigh.

+++++

A sudden frustrated cry drags him out of his own miserable thoughts to the balcony beside his. The small sound of distress surprisingly pulls a snort of laughter out of him. In no time his favorite neighbour walks out onto her own balcony.

You step out of your room with a hand scratching the top of your head and a huff of exasperation escaping your lips. A hoodie and shorts was all you wore for better comfort while working at home. Your pen for your tablet was still clenched in your hand and it seemed like if you haven't realized that Daniel was also out.

"Work again?"

His voice startles you slightly and you jump a bit, making him chuckle in his semi drunk state. Maybe also because he found your reactions a tiny bit cute.

"Yeah.... They're giving me an even shorter deadline than what we originally agreed but I really need the money..." you respond after sending him a stink eye.

The two of you met during a night like this when he stepped out for a smoke after his now ex-girlfriend left. You happened to be out too to take a breather from a project. You guys bonded over the difficulties of both having rather artistic jobs, him being a rapper and you being a freelancer artist.

Since then you often chatted across balconies and helped each other out, him shutting the loud neighbours up with a single look when you complained and you babysitting his pets when nobody else could during his tours.

"By the way... You look pretty down. Something happened?" You notice when he spaces out and seems even more lost than usual.

Another thing he liked is that he could confide to you since you weren't really part of his everyday social circle. You were sometimes his time out.

".... Caught her cheating on me." He mutters as he looks up at the sky.

Silence followed his answer, which was not very usual with you. It made him wonder for split second if you were even listening.

"I'm sorry, but thank fvckin hell it happened." Daniel was surprised but also slightly irritated by this.

"Hey-" "I know I have not really any rights to say this since I'm practically a bystander, but I never really liked her despite only seeing her a handful of time. My guts don't like her. Women's instinct are quite accurate I have to say." You patted your stomach to emphasize your point.

This comment made his already weak patience snap. However, when he looks down ready to bite back, his irritation magically dissipates seeing your arms on your hips and your pout. The pout that you always have when you are genuinely sad.

"It's just that,,, it looked like she was never really there for you. I'm sorry for what I just said, it was too harsh. But really, you deserve better anyways."

You guys kept the eye contact going for a bit more before Daniel decides to look sideways. Keeping eye contact with you was never easy for him since his stomach would lightly churn for some odd reason.

"Yeah, you're probably right. But it doesn't erase the hurt of getting the thing you actually invested time and effort in shattered. She was the first that I was committed to." He brushes his hand through his hair as he speaks.

You smile gently and give him a reassuring look that sends the smallest tingles throughout his limbs. "I don't know when but I can promise you that one day, you'll meet the one meant to be with you."

Strange enough, this comforts him enough for him to smile back.

"Now, pick up these bottles and crush that cancer stick, pretty sure your pup doesn't like those one bit." You huff out before moving towards your glass door. "I have to go back to work so goodnight! If you have a hangover tomorrow morning you can come knock at my door for painkillers (again)."

For once Daniel listens to you and finishes up his bottle in one gulp while putting out the cigarette. He then proceeds to pick up the many empty bottles littering his balcony. It was only then he realizes how tired he is.

"Hey."

He looks up.

"Sorry again, but really, you're more than what you think." You send a last apologetic look and disappear into your room after that.

Daniel chuckles to that and shakes lightly his head.

Perhaps maybe, he wants you to be part of his life a little bit more.

[thestaytinies]

Ateez: How you meet in college

Hello it took me some while but i finally finished this scenario. My vacation is also over so it might take some time before I finish a project but I will keep on doing my best! So now enjoy reading :)

Ps. Does someone know how to add a "keep reading" thing when you are on mobile? I tried a few things but it didn't work.

Hongjoong

Your roommate just got a new boyfriend. There where never any problems with her previous boyfriends but this one had no shame and it started to affect your roommate. She invited you to watch a movie together but you couldn't enjoy it because they were heavily making out beside you. So you went back to your room and put on your headphones to listen to some music. After some time you looked at your clock and realized you had to sleep because college is a bitch and you had morning classes. You removed your headphones because you couldn't fall asleep like that and just before you reached the light switch you heard your roommate say: "So the save word is bananarama". You knew you had to get out of here or else you would be traumatized for life. You took your pillow and blanket and dashed out of your apartment. You didn't know where to go but then you saw a guy down the floor, trying to open the door to his apartment. It was probably a mixture of shock and tiredness to make you do this, but the next thing you did was to walk up to this stranger and say: "My roommate's boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor?" He was startled because you came out of nowhere but then he laughed. "I know how that is! Come in and don't worry, you can sleep here but not on the floor. I have a spare bed. Oh and by the way my name is Hoongjoong, will you tell me your name cute stranger?" Let's just say that wasn't the last time you stayed over at his place.

Seonghwa

You always had a passion for animals and wanted to get one when you went to college but unfortunately your college did not permit any kind of animals in the dorms. Because you had a single room you often got kind of lonely, so when you saw that a pet shop was giving away 3 little hermit crabs with everything you need for them because no one wanted to buy them, you just had to take this opportunity and took them home with you. They were really cute and you had a lot of fun with them but you knew you had to be careful because the RA on your floor was very strict. At least that's what people told you. You never actually met him and the only thing you really knew was that he was strict and his name was Seonghwa. But hermit crabs were quiet so there was absolutely no chance that he was going to find out about them. Well that's at least what you thought. One day you let them out into your room so that you could clean their aquarium in peace. It wasn't too big so you could carry it with one hand and sneak it inside the dorms the they that you got them. When you were finished, you looked around your room and only saw 2 of your hermit crabs. That's when you noticed that your door was slightly open. You placed the other crabs back in the aquarium as fast as you could and dashed out of your room while still trying to be as careful as possible, because you were afraid that you might step on your little friend. You turned around the corner of your floor and that's when you saw a guy had just picked up your little crab. You didn't know what kind of person he was and what he would do next so you quickly spoke up. "Excuse me, that's my hermit crab". "Oh is that so? But you know that pets are prohibited right?" That's when you knew you fucked up because the very strict RA Seonghwa was standing in front of you, with your hermit crab in his hand that you clearly shouln't have. Just as you began to form an excuse in your head he spoke up again. "How about this, I'm not going to report you but you have to let me play with it for a little while". Oh so hermit crabs seemed to be his weakness. "Sure I have even 3 of them". "Is that so? Then I'm going to visit them whenever I want okay?" You agreed because even though he looked strict you could tell from his voice that he was actually kind of excited. And that's how you met the strict RA of your floor who really wasn't as strict as everyone believed him to be.

Yunho

It was 3 am and you were still in the library studying for finals. To say that you were losing your grip on reality was an understatement. As you mixed your coffee and your energy drink together, you saw something white flashing by in the corner of your eyes. You just imagined it right? You started to pack your things because you were obviously going insane. But then you heard something fall to the ground and when you looked in the direction of the sound, you saw the same white thing going to another aisle. At this point you were sure that this thing must be a ghost. So you did what every person in your situation would do. You took your book, ran to the aisle you saw the ghost went to and when you saw the white thing you striked it across the head. "AUUU!!", oh there was an impact, seems like the ghost was just another person. The guy looked at you like you were insane (which at this point you were) and asked you "why did you hit me with your book, what have I done to deserve this?" In your shock you replied with the first thing that came to your mind, the truth."I thought you were a ghost". "So the thirst thing you do when you see a ghost is strike it across the head?", "Yes". The guy thought for a while and you debated if you should just run away but then he spoke up again. "Well my name is Yunho and I'm not a ghost, and you are probably studying for finals because that would explain so much right now", "You are right and may I ask what you are doing here?", "I was looking for a book that I really wanted to read", "at 3 am in the morning?", don't judge me, at least I'm not going around hitting strangers". You had to laugh at his last sentence and he did too. He continued "how about this, you are going to sleep, cause you obviously need it and tomorrow we will meet again and you'll buy me some coffee to compensate for my head injury?". "Yeah let's do that". And this is how you became friends with the library ghost.

Yeosang

You took the course in photography because you thought that it would be an easy way to earn some extra credit and if you improved yourself you might be able to earn some cash with it. But the project your teacher gave you was kind of an obstacle. You had to photograph someone. Doesn't sound so difficult but the teacher is very strict, you thought the only way to get a good grade was to photograph a celebrity. It was already hard enough to get a B in his class, so your hopes for extra credit were crushed. But if you were able to get a good grade on this project then your plan would succeed because the grade would count twice! That's why you couldn't think of anyone who passed your standarts for this photo. You're not arrogant but the person you choose holds your grade in his hand so you had to be picky. Days went by and you still haven't found anyone, the deadline was also getting closer so naturaly you started to panic. You were walking around the campus trying to clear your head when you laid eyes on the most beautiful beeing in the world. The boy was just sitting on a bench, reading a book but it seemed like he was doing something extraodinary. You knew, if you took his photo you would get an A for sure. You wanted to ask him if he would be your model but decided against it and just took his photo then and there. The best photos always come out when they're not forced you thought and thanked yourself for bringing your camera with you. The picture came out great but you felt guilty for taking it without his permission. So you walked up to him and just started to ramble "Hey I just took your picture because you are extremely beautiful and I have to take a picture of someone for my class and I really need this A so please don't make me delete it!" The boy looked puzzled for some seconds but then he smiled and looked even more angelic. "That's okay, I'm flattered that you think you will get an A for my picture. I'm Yeosang and if you feel so bad about it then you can just take me out for lunch if you want". Even the way he spoke was beautiful, so you introduced yourself and exchanged numbers with him to figure out a date for the promised lunch.

San

Your college had a large computer room for students that didn't have one at home or just needed this place to do their projects in peace. You were really thankful for that because you didn't have a printer and your laptop decided to break down because apparently it didn't want you to finish your super important project. So you choose a computer that was in a peaceful corner and worked on your project. You were on a roll and finished almost the whole thing. As you saved your project you noticed that a USB drive was still on the computer. You didn't mean to spy but your curiosity got the best of you so you clicked on it and opened a file that was named "shiber". Whoever the person was, was obviously obsessed with their plushy but you had to admit it was pretty cute. You didn't want to intrude on the privacy of this person even more so you logged yourself out, unplugged the USB stick and went to the cafeteria to tread yourself for your hard work. You wanted to toss the USB stick into the "lost and found" box your college had but decided against it when you saw a boy with a cute plushy in his backpack. He was sitting alone munching on a sandwich. You knew you had to tell him that you looked into his file but it was better than dropping the USB into the box because there were some people who took some things even though they didn't belong to them. So you tapped him on the shoulder and started to speak: "Hi, I found your USB stick still plugged in one of the computers in the computer room. I didn't mean to spy but I clicked on the file named shiber that's how I knew it must be yours. I'm really sorry but I have to say that your shiber is very cute!" The boy smiled at the last statement. "Thank you, I didn't even notice that I lost it. And it's okay that you looked at it, honestly I like showing him off. I'm San by the way and I would like to buy you a sandwich or whatever you would like for giving me my USB back and for complimenting shiber". You accepted his offer and spend the rest of the evening and many following ones with him and shiber.

Mingi

College was stressful. You knew that before you decided to apply for it but you still got overwhelmed with the amount of work you had to do. So when you found a cookie shop not to far away from campus you were more than thrilled. The cookies looked so good and when you went inside you were greeted with a cute smile from the cashier. After you ordered your cookie you realized that they were not only pleasent to the eyes but also really tasty. From then on you went to the shop almost everyday and it was somehow always Mingi's (that's what his name tag said) shift even though you went there at different times. One might say it must be fate but you were just embarassed because he knew you came here everyday and was probably judging you. That still didn't stop you from going there though because you needed the cookies for your sanity. But then the day came you were long dreading. You tried all the cookies you had so today you had to decide which one you would buy for the second time. This wouldn't be such a problem if you didn't feel like crap today. You just couldn't think of one that would make you feel better. You entered the shop and stood a litte away from the display so that Mingi knew you had to think a bit, but to your suprise he spoke up: "Hey I can make you a new cookie you haven't tried yet if you want". So he knew that you tried every cookie in the shop, how embarassing but you still agreed and he went to the back just to return with the most delicious looking cookie you've ever seen. "Here it's for free since it's just something i was experimenting with, let me know how it tasted when you come here again". You thanked him and left the shop because you noticed that your face was getting tomato red. As you bit into the cookie you felt all your energy come back, probably because the cookie was so sweet but that was just the thing you needed today. Then you noticed something written one the napkin your cookie was wrapped in. "Hey you looked like you needed the extra sugar today so I hope you don't mind that I made this cookie for you, my loyal and cutest customer. Tell me your name the next time you visit our shop, I would really like to know you better :) - Mingi". You smiled and now you couldn't wait to return to the shop that saved you from the stressful days in college.

Wooyoung

You felt like a creep. 2 weeks ago you noticed that you can see the guy who lives in the hall opposite to yours through his window. It wasn't your intention to watch him but you had to admit that he was very attractive, so it was only natural that your eyes glanced to the window now and then. At first you only looked to get your daily dose of handsome man but after a while you somehow got some motivation from him. When you saw him study, you also got some energy to study for your classes. When you saw that he was drinking, you also remembered that you didn't drink something for a while. When he got some friends over at his place you also texted your friends to hangout. He somehow got his life together even though college could be hell and you took some inspiration from him to improve your life. You never spoke to him but he still helped you through rough days. Even though you had no bad intentions while watching him you still felt like a weirdo so you decided that today would be the last day of watching him and thanked him in your head for helping you so much. But you needed to learn to do this things by yourself, because he wouldn't be there your whole life. What you didn't expect though was him undressing in his room. He never did that, which you were very thankful for, so to say that you where shocked was an understatement. You just couldn't take your eyes off when he took his shirt off and you saw his slight muscular chest. But when his hands started to unbutten his trousers, you knew you couldn't keep watching and closed your curtains as fast as you could. Your heart was racing but at least you got the best out of this last day. You opened the curtains slightly when the next morning arrived but didn't dare to look at the direction of his window. When you opened your door you saw a piece of paper on the floor. You picked it up and started to read. "Hi, my name is Wooyoung but you probably know me as the hot guy from the window opposite to yours. I noticed you looking at me and found it kind of cute how I made you remember to do the same things that I did. But I liked it even more how you didn't intrude on my privacy when I was changing yesterday and closed your curtains. So how about you come over when you have time so I can give you some advice in person? ;)" You were embarassed but also quite happy about the message and when you turned around to look outside the window you saw him standing at his, waving at you and giving you a cheeky wink.

Jongho

You were on your way to the study hall in your college. Exams where just around the corner and you had to study a lot, you were unfortunately one of those people who couldn't study at home because you would get distracted by everything there. The study hall had many secluded desks where you could study in peace. They were small so only one person could sit there comfortably. As you entered the room you saw that every desk was occupied. You should have figured as much. You were almost losing hope but then you saw one desk that wasn't occupied. It was only 3 meters away from you! You cheered in your head and looked at the end of the hallway. That's when your eyes locked with another boy. The look in his eyes told you everything. He wanted the desk and he realized you wanted it too. He also had about 3 meters to the desk so you did what any logical person would have done and started to run! He had the same idea. You both reached the desk at the same time and grabed the chair. "I was the first one", you shouted. "No it was obviously me!", "I need to study for my exams", "What do you think am I here for?" The other students looked at you annoyed and you didn't want to disturb them more, so you whisper-shouted "we settle this with rock, paper, scissors!". He agreed and you played, only for you to lose. Not accepting your defeat you said: "You have to win 2 out of 3!" He rolled his eyes but complied. You lost again. This time you had to accept the results and you turned around feeling crushed. As you were walking away thinking about failing your exams, the guy spoke up: "Hey wait! I know how stressful it can be to study at home. It might be cramped but how about we just share this desk for now?" You thought about it but it was the best option at the moment. You somehow managed to share the desk without disturbing anyone around and as it turned out, it was really great to study like that. Jongho (as he had told you was his name) didn't distract you and even helped you with some subjects. After this incident you continued to share a desk with him for the next days, even though there where many unoccupied desks beside you.

(Thats you fighting with him over the desk)

[kathrynmaslow]

Love Lies 15/15

Summary: Ever since Emma was 13, she knew she had the ability to destroy people if she wanted to, and some days, she really wanted to. After being forced to go to Greenwood Academy following a traumatizing event in her childhood that brought to the surface her ability to manipulate fire, she never thought she would be free of the place. So for nearly 10 years, she lived a solitary existence with the exception of her best friends, but that was all about to change.

Killian Jones had just been sentenced to attend the university campus at Greenwood Academy after an accident at sea caused him to be dishonorably discharged from Her Majesty’s royal Navy and lose his hand. He doesn’t know what to think about these newfound powers and what they spell for the rest of his now not-so-normal life. But a chance encounter one day has the ability to change all of that.

A story about love and redemption between two people that shows, if you have the right person beside you, you can find a light in the darkness.

Rating: M

Content Warnings: Mentions of Violence/Death, Brief mention of Childhood Abuse/Sexual Assault, Mild Sexual Content.

Chapter Notes: I can’t believe the end is here! This journey with CSBB2018 has been nothing like I would have ever expected, and I am so glad that I did it. I have never finished a single multi-chapter that I have started in my life, and thankfully BB gave me the support and deadlines that I needed to finally be able to do it! I have so many people that I have to thank for following me on this journey, thanks to the moderators, for running a great FF writing group. Thanks to all the ladies on Discord, your words, stories, inspiration and oversharing will stay with me forever. You all gave me the kick in the butt I needed when I needed it and all those long nights sprinting to get words in by the deadlines were amazing. I can’t thank you ladies enough. Even though it is cliché (and she will never read this) but I have to thank my mother, for telling me to do something for myself this year that I enjoy. I found BB and took the plunge, and have enjoyed the experience right from the start.

I would be remiss to not thank @daveyjacobsthepotterhead, for being my beta reader. You and I were kind of thrown together at the last minute and we worked tirelessly together to make this weird idea that I had into something amazing. Our chats on tumblr and in the comments of this document were able to get me through this thing and turn it from something that I wasn’t quite sure about something that I can say I am so proud to have written and put out there.

Also thanks to @princesse-swan, for your gorgeous story art that you put together for this story. We were also thrown together at the last minute, but we made the best of the thing and I felt that our collaboration together worked out wonderfully on both sides. Thanks so much for your commentary on my story as well and giving me feedback when I needed it most.

Thanks to all my readers, especially those who took time to comment on every single chapter of this on FF.net, your comments meant the world and certainly made up for all the stress of writing this without any feedback at the time. You Rock!

Now, here it is! Enjoy!

Read on FF

Catch up on Tumblr: One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven    Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen

Art by @princesse-swan here, here and here

Chapter 15

3 months later

Emma and Killian woke to pounding on the door.

Emma groaned, pulling the blankets further over her head and burying her face in the pillow. She felt more than heard Killian laughing from his place next to her in bed.

Ever since they had made up, they had been working on getting more comfortable with each other again, as well as working on some of their individual fears that lingered from their pasts.

The one they were currently working on having a breakthrough with was Emma’s fears of intimacy.

She loved Killian, had told him so many times in the intervening months, but she had struggled getting over that barrier of being comfortable with a lot of physical and, their current struggle, sexual contact.

Not that there was anything wrong with that, as Killian kept assuring her, he was more than comfortable moving at her pace.

But Emma was frustrated with herself. It had been so long since that incident with her stepfather and she wanted to be over it, she truly did so she didn’t feel like she was holding something back in their relationship. But anytime Killian put his full weight on top of her for an extended period of time she still felt that fear rising out of her, and her flames flickering awake to try and protect her.

She hadn’t burned him again since that one disastrous night, but she didn’t want to risk doing it again.

Killian’s wrist rubbed along her back as he rolled over and leaned into her side, his face buried against the back of her shoulder.

He clearly didn’t want to wake up and see who was at her door either.

The pounding became more insistent. “Emma, Come on, wake up!” She heard David call through the door.

Her and Killian both groaned at the familiar voice. They both probably should have moved faster at getting out of bed though, forgetting that David had a key to her room. The door swung open unexpectedly, causing Killian to bolt upright, lobbing the pillow he had been using in the direction of the door.

David caught it with ease, his eyes widening comedically as he caught sight of a bare-chested Killian in her bed.

“Uhhh, is Emma here?” He asked, sounding completely uncomfortable with the state of things.

She extended her hand out from under the blankets and grunting before dropping her hand back down to the bed. It was too early in Emma’s opinion for this to be happening.

“Are you dressed under there?” He asked, sounding even more uncomfortable than he had previously.

Killian laughed, causing the bed to shake with the force of his laughter.

“Yeah, I am.” She groaned, still not moving.

“Good, because I have some news for you.” He said, “Riggans was fired.”

That got her attention. She bolted upright in bed, shoving her hair out of her face as she fully started waking up.

“What do you mean Riggans was fired?” She asked, disbelief coloring her voice.

“I mean, he was removed from his position as Headmaster of the lower and upper campuses here at Greenwood, pending an investigation into his possible involvement with the attack that happened a few months ago.” David explained.

She looked over at Killian in disbelief. He looked just as shocked as she felt. Emma couldn’t believe that Riggans would have been involved with the organization of the military style attack on their campus that got both her and Killian locked down.

Then again, she had remembered August and Graham commenting about how it was unusual that she was the one who was punished for protecting her campus while Gaston hadn’t been sentenced afterwards besides being sent off campus to a different facility. Not even a more secure facility, one that had less security than the one they were currently attending. That had always struck her and Killian odd whenever they had talked about it.

“Bloody hell.” Killian intoned next to her.

She could tell that he didn’t know how to react to the news either.

David pointed towards the window, “As you can see, not many people are mourning him getting fired.”

She and Killian shared a look before darting off her bed and pushing aside the curtains on her window.

Normally, she had a nice view of the courtyard between all of the high risk buildings. The courtyard was normally pretty quiet as not many students lived this far out on campus and the only traffic was high risk students getting to and from their buildings.

Now it was packed, full of students chanting and cheering and celebrating the loss of the man who had ruled this school with an iron fist for the last two years.

Emma had the strong urge to join them.

But there were more pressing thoughts on her mind.

“Do you know who they have selected to replace him?” She asked, not taking her eyes off the scene in front of her.

“I don’t know him, but they announced that someone named August Clasen would be taking over until they could appoint a new Headmaster. Apparently he used to be the head of security.” David said.

Emma’s knees went a bit weak and she dropped her hand down onto the windowsill while the other went to her chest in shock and relief.

“Emma! Hey, what’s wrong.” Killian asked, his thumb brushing through tears she hadn’t known she was shedding.

“We get to leave, we are going to get to leave.” She said, hope shining in her eyes at the prospect of finally being able to leave this campus for good.

.o.O.o.

One year later.

Emma’s hands were shaking as she walked into the administrative building. She was finally doing this.

Not long after August had taken over as interim headmaster of Greenwood Academy, Edward Riggans, former headmaster, had been found guilty of conspiring to lead an attack against the gifted students at the academy in hopes of eradicating them.

The nail in his coffin had come when they called August onto the stand during his trial, and he had revealed his powers to the court and to Riggans for the first time.

Riggans had blown his lid in response, throwing out all kinds of slander at him and accusing him on manipulating him into doing all of those things that he was being charged for.

The only problem was that August could only read thoughts, not plant them. And the Judge knew that from first hand experience, because he had asked August to apply for the security job after a number of complaints had come in about how students were being treated at Greenwood that an investigation was launched while he was still headmaster.

The Jury sentenced him to life in prison for endangering the life of the minors on the campus and for targeted hate crimes.

Emma had never heard better news in her entire life.

At least, she hoped the news she was going to receive today would be better.

August had been selected as the new Headmaster for the Academy after the trial since no new candidates had applied for the position, and he had said when he took that office that he would listen to any case that came across his desk for a student requesting to live off campus.

Killian had held her when she cried after hearing that, because while Riggans had been headmaster, and the man who had held the office before him, they had both stated that High Risk cases wouldn’t get a hearing. They would get moved to a community that was assigned to them when they outlasted their stay on the upper college campus.

Now Emma, and Killian as well, would get the opportunity to apply to live off campus in the community of their choosing, and if they were lucky, without any of their suppression gear.

Killian had been working hard all year with a new trainer who had been brought in to help him with his abilities. It took August some time, and he called in a personal favor to do it, but he made sure that everyone who didn’t have a trainer before, or who wasn’t getting trained, was getting the care that they needed to become good functioning members of society again.

After a couple of sessions, they had finally figured out what was triggering Killian’s flares when he wasn’t wearing his glove, and had created a plan to help him contain the flare before it created any kind of an issue wherever he was located.

It took a few months, but he was able to tell her three months ago that he finally stopped having flares that he couldn’t control, and was able to use his powers with intent instead of it being a random explosion of darkness from around him.

And last month, she had applied to move the the community just off campus since she was graduating with her fine arts degree.

Killian wasn’t going to be that far behind her, since he was graduating in the fall instead of in the spring. But he had also applied to live off campus with her, pending a final review from the trainers on campus. August was willing to let him finish his last semester off campus, so Emma hoped that would mean good things for her as well.

As she walked up onto the floor where the hearings were held, she headed over to where the secretary was currently typing away at her desk and cleared her throat.

“Emma Swan to see the Housing Review Committee,” she said.

The woman looked up at her and nodded, gesturing to her to sit down in one of the empty chairs.

Emma tapped her hands against her knees restlessly. She was so nervous that her request was going to be denied.

“Emma Swan,”  A gentleman called from the doors.

The 5 other students who appeared to have been waiting before her scowled in her direction as she made her way back, smoothing down the edge of her cardigan nervously.

As she made her way into the room, she saw a table seated in the center of the room facing the committee panel lined up along the far wall. August was sitting in the middle of them, shuffling papers around to find what she presumed was her case file.

The gentleman who had called her back gestured for her to sit down at the table, calling out her name and case file number one more time for the committee .

There was another flurry of activity as everyone moved papers again to double check they had the right case number before they all turned and looked at Emma.

She resisted the urge to shrink down in her chair a bit.

“It’s very nice to see you again Ms. Swan,” August said, still leafing through her file.

“You as well, Sir. I don’t think I ever got to thank you.” She said, folding her hands together in an effort to keep from fidgeting.

“Whatever for child?” He asked, looking up at her surprised.

“For having the mercy to remove my suppression bracelets and the gloves before locking me on ICE two years ago. If it hadn’t been for that kindness, I likely would not be here today.” She said.

“Think nothing of it. Anyone could have seen what was happening to you was unjust.” August said, returning to the files in front of him. “Now, it says here that you want to live in the community just off campus here, without visitor restriction, is that correct?”

Emma nodded at him. She didn’t say that she really wanted to live there without her bracelets, but that would be a request for another time. “Yes, My brother, his wife and daughter would like to come and see me if approved. I haven’t seen my brother in over ten years.”

August’s eyes crinkled behind his glasses.

“Yes, I see. The committee has taken the time this week to review your case and court files, and will be making a ruling today to either deny or accept the request to move off campus to the community.” August started, looking down at her.

She nodded to show that she was following the formal language of the proceeding.

“I move that we accept the request to move one, Ms. Emma Swan, off campus to the Greenwood community, allowing her full visitor privileges and the ability to live without the suppression gear that has been provided to her by this academy.” Emma’s jaw dropped in response. “The committee will review the case in 5 years time to determine if the suppression gear needs to be reinstated or she can begin to assimilate back into normal society while maintaining residence in a community. All in favor, say aye.”

Tears filled Emma’s eyes as one by one the committee members voted to live off campus without her bracelets. As the last committee member cast his vote, August turned his smiling eyes on her.

“Congratulations Ms. Swan, the committee has moved to approve your request. You will be assigned a housing location by the end of the week and will have a months time after the end of the spring term to move in. Case closed.” He said, hitting his gavel once on the desk.

Emma walked back to her dorm where Killian and the rest of her friends were waiting in a daze.

She was going to be free.

.o.O.o.

Killian groaned as his alarm clock went off. He rolled over and hit the offending device a few times before finally getting it to quiet.

Rolling back over, he reached his hand across the bed towards where Emma should have been laying, only to encounter empty sheets instead. He could hear the sound of the shower running in the other room.

Killian sighed. He knew Emma would be stressed out today, it was understandable considering the circumstances, but he had at least hoped that she would have gotten at least some sleep before she got up in the morning.

She had been turning over and fidgeting restlessly next to him for a good portion of the night, until he had reached over and pulled her body into his, tucking her back against his chest. He had hoped that stilling her movements and feeling the heat of his body would at least relax her enough to allow her to sleep, but it seemed like he was the only one who got some peaceful sleep out of the arrangement.

Pushing his hand through his hair to try and straighten it a bit, he pushed himself up and out of bed. Killian grabbed a shirt from off the floor and shrugged it on as he made his way downstairs towards the kitchen.

He thought it was the least he could do to make them breakfast.

Killian grabbed a box of pancake mix from the cabinet and set to work, grabbing the eggs and milk from the fridge. On a whim, he also grabbed the cinnamon from the cabinet as well, throwing a dash into the mix before whisking it all together.

Emma came pounding down the stairs just as he began to  pour the first batch out onto the skillet.

“Morning Love,” He said, turning to look over his shoulder at her.

She gave him a half smile in return as she continued to rub a towel through her damp hair.

“Do I smell pancakes?” She asked.

“Of course, with a secret ingredient thrown in for good measure as well.” Killian said, flipping the first pair over.

“Color me intrigued.” Emma replied, leaning next to the counter next to him. She was distractingly clad in his black robe, and nothing else from the looks of it, and it took all of his focus to make sure he didn’t burn the pancakes.

He flipped the finished product out onto a plate, turning to pass it to her. Emma surprised him by wrapping her hand around the nape of his neck and pulling his lips down to hers, kissing him soundly.

He grunted, wrapping his left arm around her and pulling her as close as the plate between them would allow.

He broke away first, not wanting to get overly carried away. “What was that for Love?”

“Can’t I thank my boyfriend for making us pancakes?” She asked with a smirk on her lips.

“Of course, whatever was I thinking.” He replied sarcastically, even though he knew it was more than that in the kiss. She was still nervous. “Sit down and enjoy your breakfast Swan, I’ll join you shortly.”

Emma nodded, turning and sitting down at the kitchen table.

Once Killian finished the pancakes, he joined her at the table to eat. She still said little, pushing the pancakes around on her plate and not really eating them.

Killian sighed quietly and reached his hand over, stilling her fingers where they were tapping on the table top. “It will be fine Emma. I’m going to go up and shower.” He said, squeezing her fingers and leaning over the table to press his lips to hers, a chaste comparison to the kiss over pancakes earlier.

~~~~

Emma watched as Killian made his way up the stairs towards their shared room and sighed. She knew she was worrying him, but she couldn’t seem to relax. She hadn’t seen Sean since he was 16, and so much had changed in the last 11 years.

She also didn’t know what he thought of her and her powers, which made the fact that he was coming over for his first visit today the more nerve-wracking for her. For all she knew, their mother had changed his views of her over the last 11 years, which would make this all the worse.

But he agreed to meet, so that was at least something.

She pushed the rest of her half eaten breakfast into the trash and left the plate in the sink for them to clean later.

Heading up stairs, she began shifting through her dresser and half of the closet for something to wear. What did you wear to meet with a brother you hadn’t seen in 11 years? Not that, she thought as she passed on one of her short, red dresses in the back of the closet.

Finally, after a lot of indecision, she settled on a comfortable pair of jeans and a light sweater. She heard the shower shut off as she finished dressing, and she smiled softly as she heard him humming a song.

She was just as proud and excited as he was when he found out that his trainers had approved his request to be off campus for the remainder of his time at Greenwood. He still had to wear his glove, he wasn’t that in control of his powers yet, but that didn’t take anything away from the day they both found out. And it was a no brainer that Emma asked him to move in with her as well.

A good choice, she though as he stepped out of the bathroom, a towel slung low across his hips and his hand raised to towel off his hair.

They still hadn’t taken that last step, but Emma was certain it would be happening soon. She was finally reaching that point where sexual contact wasn’t sending her into a panic attack, but it wasn’t entirely comfortable either. Her therapist, who she had started seeing to try and help things out, because she had a serious case of PTSD when it came to this even in her childhood, said that it would take time. And Emma was happy with the way things were coming along, it made her feel like maybe there wasn’t something wrong with her.

Killian walked over to her and pushed her still wet hair back from her face, “Feeling better Love?” He asked, kissing her briefly on the lips.

“Surprisingly, yeah,” She replied, standing up. “But you should get dressed, Sean is supposed to be here soon.”

She kissed him once more for good measure, and then moved around him out of the room.

Only, once she was away from him and by herself again in the main room, her nerves came back ten fold.

A loud knock on the door forced her out of her thoughts.

Killian came bounding down the stairs, fully dressed if barefoot, and moved to get the door for her.

The sun shown through the open door, obscuring the features of the person at the door.

A throat cleared. “Uh, does Emma Swan live here?” A deep voice asked.

“Yeah, come on in. Name’s Killian by the way. I’m Emma’s boyfriend.” Killian stepped back and let the gentleman in.

“Sean, Though you probably already know that.” The voice held a faint trace of a smile.

Killian’s response was lost to her as she took in the figure in front of her.

The face wasn’t that different, though he had shed the last of the teenage softness and grown into the gangly shoulders. Sean stopped short, mouth open in what would have been a response to Killian when he caught sight of her. Tears welled in her eyes.

“Emma?” He asked, of course she would have looked different to him.

She nodded her head, “Hi.”

Tear welled up in his eyes as well and he moved suddenly, pulling her into a crushing hug.

Her arms went around him and gripped him just as hard, both of them shaking with built up emotion.

“I missed you so much Bug.” He said, gripping her tighter.

“I missed you too.” She said.

Finally, everything in her life was perfect. And she could begin to leave behind the horrible things that happened to her at Greenwood for good.

Fin.

[pygmyscheese]

What am I to you?

There are times, when you can’t do anything to help your loved ones in their struggles, but you stay with them for good and for worse.

Namjoon x reader

genre: light angst & some fluff I guess?

word count: 3 786

based on: Verbal Jint “Pretty enough”

A/N: I’ll be honest, it’s not good at all, but the idea for this fic was going around in my mind for so long, and then I came across the song and I just had to pour it all out. No matter how bad it is, I’m still proud of this small baby of mine as it’s the first work I fully wrote in English, which is not my native language. I’d like you to take that into consideration while reading, especially if you find some grammatically incorrect fragments, although I tried my best not to do any and if, correct any mistakes in the text. Enjoy!

“Namjoon” You called him quietly. He should be awake by now, trying not to be late to work, but he stayed up all night to finish project before deadline for one of his classes. Working while studying is a cruel thing indeed, but almost everyone has to go through it to learn the harsh way of life and try their best to survive in society. World is brutal and Namjoon knew it, it was all about survival of the fittest, but he opposed that. That is why you loved him. “Namjoon” You repeated, this time louder. He really had to wake up by now, but there was no reaction. You studied his face. Dark bags under his eyes that with every passing day became more and more visible, messy hair that should be cut long time ago, dry skin from obvious dehydration. He was slowly becoming a shadow of who he once was. And it was all because of her.

“Namjoon!” A loud bang at the door and her shout woke him up immediately. Looking around the room his hazy eyes stopped at your figure.

“What time is it?” He mumbled more to himself than to you, running hand through his blond hair, black roots showing underneath, shaking his head from left to right to shoo the sleep away. Grabbing the phone he forced open his still glued from sleep eyes. Seconds later you heard him gasp and watched how he jumped out of bed just to run around the room in search for any clothes he could wear and look decent. “Why didn’t you wake me up? You know I’m still on a trial, I cannot let myself be late.” Namjoon gave you a quick look, hurt and exhaustion mixed in it.

You knew perfectly what he meant. After working many odd jobs he caught position as a junior editor in a magazine he wished to work for several years already. Even though still on trial, during which people tried to use him for their own tasks as much as possible, with the fact that work wasn’t exactly as he imagined, it was pretty obvious he was happy there. Definitely happier than during last two years you’ve spent with him, full of struggles, self-sacrifice and many sleepless nights. 

“I tried Namjoon, I did” You just said, accepting the blame. You always did.

“I might be late today, will you be fine?” You heard him asking, while going out of the room. There was another bang at the front door, as she was getting impatient. Not the first, not the last time, you thought.

“Sure, I have food and something to drink, I’ll survive.” Namjoon double checked what you said just to be sure himself. It’s not that he didn’t trust or believe you, he just cared too much and you accepted it gladly. Then with rushed swing of his arm he opened the front door, where the one you detested the most stood in full grace.

“Finally. Do you know how long I had to wait? You better take me to work before I’m late.” He didn’t say anything at her words and with slight nod of his head his arm wrapped around her waist to guide to parking lot. You stole last glance at his stoic face when he closed the door. Yes, he knew better not to say anything while she was in a bad mood as things could go very wrong in a matter of second with someone like her.

Sighing you retreated back to the depths of the flat you shared with Namjoon. It was small and cosy, just like the two of you liked. As everyday you ate breakfast in silence and went to bed. It was a sad and boring routine that started after he met her. You were happy for him finally going out and meeting girls, he needed it, he deserved it after his heart broke right before college. But why, just why, it had to be her? She was pretty, you admit. Beautiful, flawless even, with long silky hair, perfect proportions and good manners. Only if her personality wasn’t rotten to the core. She always put herself on pedestal just because she already got her degree and stable, well-paid job. Always pretending, just to keep her high social status. Seeing her acting high and mighty around Namjoon, ordering him around caused pain in your chest. You tried so many times to help him realize that she’s not the one for him, that her presence in his life was like a poison to him. But he was in love. Oh, he was. Seeing the boy, who never let anyone be their pushover, the same boy that went through life with his own opinions and beliefs, so often different from the common ones accepted by society, the same boy, who was always eager for intellectual disputes with just enough criticism entwined in them not to hurt the other party, the boy who stood even against people close to him in order to pursue his dream, his passion, seeing that very boy being so cruelly played by her was crucifying to you. He wasn’t the type to be dominated, no. But Namjoon had a good heart. He was the most compassionate and the warmest person you’ve ever met and that was also his biggest weakness. He couldn’t indifferently pass by seeing people’s fragility and troubles, he tried to oppose injustice surrounding people in everyday life. When he put his mind to something, it was hard to change it. Same was for love. He’ve been hurt before, broken to be exact and it was about to happen again but because of thoroughly different reason. Trying your best to help him realize relationship he was currently in was toxic for him and his dreams was pointless as he had tunnel vision.

You could go on about all small and big things you didn’t like about her for whole day. You liked people, you felt good around them and could always find some chemistry with everyone you approached. But she smelled like danger and you wished Namjoon knew it as well. Train of your thoughts was suddenly interrupted by the sound of key turning in a lock. Scooting to hallway to check what was going on, the man in question stood in front of you.

“Didn’t you say you’ll be late?” You asked trying to read his mood. Namjoon sighed loudly. Was it from exhaustion, which he most definitely felt or something else happened? “I missed you.” You hugged him tightly as if he would fall apart any second and gave a peck in a cheek. You decided not to ask any more questions, he would tell you eventually when the time was right.

“I missed you too, sweetie.” Both of you were so used to each other and grown so close, that sometimes you forgot to grant yourselves with such simple affections like those. That is why you cherished every one of them. Just like his hand that he placed on your head and gently patted your hair. “Do you want to go to our place?”

Your place. The place, you’ve first met. Secluded part of a park, resembling wild forest, small meadow hidden from curious eyes. You always went there when something was up, when he had to clear his mind. About to give him positive answer, your voice got stuck in your throat as sound of his ringtone resounded in hallway. He gave the screen quick glance before putting the phone to ear. 

“Yes? I’m home already. Where? …Fine, give me 20 minutes.” Judging from his tone and sighs that came out of his mouth between the words it was her again. Namjoon gave you an apologetic look to which you could just nod, encouraging him to go and see her. 

Little did you know that it was the beginning of then end. Several hours after his short visit home, he came back, accompanied by her and two big suitcases.

“Don’t tell me…” You were dumbfounded, eyes wide open when she made herself home seconds after entering your place. Yours and Namjoon’s.

The boy nodded. “She’s gonna live with us from now on. Treat her right, hm?” His fond smile directed at you didn’t help you in digesting this new information.

Days dragged on painfully slow since her appearance and Namjoon gradually started to disappear from your vicinity, being tangled tighter into her web of lies and fake smiles. Sometimes it was as if you became invisible. Acknowledgement of your existence varied from person. Namjoon provided you with food and checked on you from time to time but his sighs at you when you tried to spend some time together clearly showed he was starting to be fed up with you pestering him. She on the other hand was straight up ignoring you, occasionally, when Namjoon wasn’t around, using you to vent out her own problems on you in quite an abusive way. It wasn’t just once or twice when you ended up almost tearing up, feeling that places she hit started to bruise. But you couldn’t say anything, seeing Namjoon so cheerful and productive since she moved in. Even if you did, he was deaf for everything except for her words. It wasn’t only you who saw how unhealthy this relationship was. His friends came over from time to time, hopefully when she wasn’t around and tried to shine some light on his clouded mind, with no results unfortunately.

And then it happened.

You saw her change. New clothes, different make-up, perfume other than the one Namjoon bought for her birthday. Those small, almost trivial changes didn’t go unnoticed by you only. Her gruff behaviour was showing on a daily basis now, giving both of you a hard time. Even when he was nothing but sweet as sugar to her, she would snap at him without any reason. And he still loved her despite being hurt by this kind of treatment.

“Namjoon, I think we need to talk.” One day, when you were alone you once again took up the subject that was  cause of all problems. “Can’t you see you’re becoming a wreck because of her? It’s not healthy. She’s not healthy.”

“Sweetie” He sighed loudly, taking off his glasses and moving away from laptop to face you. “Do you really have such a problem with her being here? Nothing changed, you know? I’ll always be there for you.”

“Are you serious?” You didn’t even try to stop the snicker that left your lips. “Since she’s here you gave up on everything other than your job and college. And what do you get in return? You’re treated like shit.” You weren’t really the type to be harsh with words or to show anger, but you were losing your composure because of the situation you were all in.

“I really didn’t want to say that but…don’t you think you became too clingy recently? It’s tiring.”

Silence fell on both of you, staring in each other’s eyes. You hoped he would see in them everything you wanted to tell him but couldn’t. He didn’t. Instead, without a word he left the room and soon after, the flat. He left you alone once again.

Little did you know that one Monday afternoon would be the time when your world would slowly collapse into pieces. You were napping comfortably on the bed when door opened suddenly and you heard two voices. One of them was hers, so sweet, as honey dripping from her lips when she whispered sweet nothings into someone’s ear. You started to move away from bed, sure that soon they’d barge here with Namjoon to indulge in each others fantasies, but the man you saw in the door was definitely not the man, he was supposed to be.

“What’s going on?” you asked, voice barely audible.

“Oh. I forgot you’re here” She scoffed when her lips finally left man’s neck, already covered in few marks.

“What are you doing?” You repeated, your voice higher, harsher, as you approached the pair. You had your suspicions for some time now, but you didn’t want to believe your eyes. How could she cheat on Namjoon and even be shameless enough to bring that man to their flat? “Get out. Now.”

“Fuck, can’t you shut up?” The stranger furrowed his brows in annoyance. “Are you asking for a beating, is that it?” His open hand flew toward your face, leaving your cheek stinging in pain.

“Get the fuck out” Managing to spit those words between gritted teeth you threw yourself on the man and bit his arm. Yelping in pain he pushed you away with brutal force. You flew to the wall, back hitting it with a loud thud.

“I had enough, you fucking bitch” This time punch came from her. You felt air leaving your lungs when her foot met your side. Her partner used that chance to grab you by the hair and threw into study. Trying to fight back, your nails dragged on his forearms, leaving red lines on his skin. 

Everything was happening so fast, leaving you in shock, your mind blank, that you hadn’t realised you were screaming all this time until they wrapped a cloth around your mouth. 

“You have to treat bitches like this, roughly, so they know their place” Man spitted those harsh words while granting you with another kick in the ribs. 

Choking back the tears you saw how doors closed behind them, leaving you alone in the darkness of the room. You always hated Namjoon’s study for it’s storage like size and lack of windows that made you feel trapped, now even more so, your body aching, your cries muffled. You were left there to hear all the things they did, her being so audible that you felt nauseous. You didn’t know how much time have passed when the door opened and cloth was removed from your mouth. Not daring to leave the room you stayed where they left you, letting your eyes to close in search for sleep, hoping that maybe it all was a bad dream.

“Sweetie, wake up.” Hours later, Namjoon’s voice drew you back to reality from sweet covers of nothingness. “What are you doing here?” The feeling of his fingers on your skin made you shudder and move away. His eyes studied you cautiously, not expecting such behaviour. “What happened? You’re acting weird.” Oh, how you wish, you could just say everything that happened. You felt sick to the stomach, smell of the stranger still lingering in the flat, as if the walls absorbed all of it for the reminder of what happened. And continued to happen, all behind Namjoon’s back. Study, that you once hated, became your shelter, where you hid from everyone, both her and Namjoon. He was alarmed by the way you acted, tried to find solution for it but was still blind that it was all because of her.

Until that one day, in late April when spring was in it’s fullest.

“Say…what am I to you?” Namjoon asked her during dinner. His body was tense, face expressionless, eyes dark but empty.

“What question is that even? You’re my boyfriend Joonie.” Sweet lies, he knew too well by now left her cherry lips yet again, just to fade away in silence that followed them.

Biting his lower lip, eyes moved to her face, as if trying to look for the last ray of hope. He hesitated for few seconds before quietly muttering question that was on his mind for weeks now. “Am I, really?”

“Are you trying to imply something now? We know each other not from yesterday, it’s been almost a year, so just spill it.”

“How long have it been with him then?” Hearing man’s question her hand that was reaching for wine glass stopped mid-air. “Don’t try to deny it. I saw you two. Not just once.” Namjoon laughed in disbelief. “I’m not stupid. I saw you change. You grew distant and more fake than you’ve ever been.”

Her mouth hanged open for mere seconds before she snapped. “Excuse me? Who do you think you are to call me fake?” her lips quirked upwards in a mocking smile, words leaving them like poison. “You know my little secret now, so what? Are you hurt Joonie? Will it make you feel better if I said sorry? It won’t happen, because I’m not. You’re sweet but boring, nothing more than a pet.” Sickly sweet voice she used made you boil in anger. You were about to react and give her a lesson she deserved when Namjoon spoke as if giving a command, voice so stern as you’ve never heard before.  “Leave. I’m done with you.”

Ostentatiously standing up from the table she grabbed her bag and was about to leave when she turned on her feet. As expected, she had to have the last word in everything. “Just don’t call later begging for me to come back.”

Silence enveloped the two of you left in the room. Without a word, you approached Namjoon and tugged on his sleeve, trying to bring his attention to you. When it failed, you lay your head on his lap, looking up at his face, hidden behind fringe of now all black hair. 

“You did well, my love.” Your voice a mere whisper, when reached his ears caused him to break. It was second time you saw his tears, second time to see his heart break in span of just few years and you knew, he didn’t deserve any of it. He deserved the world. That’s why you were beside him all this time.

It hasn’t been that long since you left your tiny flat in the centre for the new one, right next to the park you first met at. Enjoying weather, mix of springs freshness and summer’s heat, the two of you laid under trees shadow on soft grass covering the meadow. It was just the two of you, both content with each other’s company. Stealing glances at Namjoon, you studied his face. He dyed his hair again, now to beautiful deep purple graciously accentuating his tan skin, cheeks became more plump, eyes regained that sparkle, you loved so much. He was coming back to life, blossoming like a late flower after harsh winter.

“Namjoon” Just calling his name excited you, as you hoped, he would understand you fully this time. Not satisfied with a lazy hum as an answer, you poked his side to grab his attention. “Look” You got up and stood by one of the trees waiting for him to follow your tracks. Your hand pointed to a hole in the tree trunk, once in the open, now hidden behind the green bushes.

“What do you see there?” Furrowing his brows in confusion he tried to see what you did, but failed. Trying to move away the natural barrier of leaves, his hand brushed over small, now barely visible carvings in wood. “How did you…?” Bewildered, eyes moved between you and names on the tree.

He carved them there himself, long time ago, when he was still a teen, his own name right next to the name of the love of his life. No one but the two of them knew about this fact, so how could you? As sudden recollection of past events flooded his mind, his eyes widened in shock and blank amazement. Nodding to his silent question, you knew he wanted to ask, you smiled widely.

“Y/N, what am I to you?” Namjoon asked, when he sat beside the tree that had your names on it. You declared it yours long time ago, way before becoming a couple, which happened under the same tree anyway. It was your secret place, sort of your own piece of heaven, your sanctuary. He watched as you absently walked in circles, your bare feet disappearing in high grass with every step, face showing you were deep in thought.

“Everything” You finally admitted, looking him straight in the eyes with determination. He couldn’t help himself and chuckled at how it sounded. “You think it’s lame? I don’t care. You’re everything to me. Everything I need, everything I want, everything that makes me feel alive.”

“Now that sounds like a bit too much. I almost got goosebumps.” Namjoon’s hands reached for you when you approached him and pulled you into his frame for a tight embrace.

“I didn’t lie though. I’d say the same thing even in my next life and I’m pretty much sure I said it in previous one as well.”

“And what would you like to be in your next life? Assuming that you couldn’t be born as human again?”

“What?” You scoffed, not agreeing with such condition, but still giving it enough thought to be sure of your answer. “A dog.”

“Really? Why?” Without even looking at his face you could tell he was smiling, revealing his deep dimples to the world. He probably expected your answer, both of you being huge dog lovers.

“Then I could always be next to you, for better, for worse, I could love and cherish you as I do now.” With every word spoken you felt his embrace tightening, him feeling overwhelmed with content feeling.

“I like that.” Placing a kiss on your forehead, Namjoon made a silent vow to recognise you in your next life and love you as deeply as you deserve it.

Remembering his vows, his grief after hearing of your accident, despair followed by emptiness after you passed away, he looked at you again, taking in your features, your eyes and that playful sparkle that shined in them, just like before.

“Y/N?” His voice barely audible, as if scared that it was all a dream, he reached his hand to you to cup your cheek. Feeling his touch you naturally leaned in, humming ever so slightly in confirmation. “I can’t believe it.” Swallowing back the tears, threatening to fall from his eyes, he took you in tight embrace, just like before. And even though you weren’t the same anymore, you couldn’t tell him everything you wished to share with him, you were happy enough to feel the love you once shared, enveloping both of you again. As you promised years ago, you came back by his side to protect him, for good, for worse, so he could get all the love he deserved. As he stroked your snow-white fur, you felt tears falling down his cheeks. It was third time, you saw Namjoon cry, but this time he wasn’t broken, quite the opposite, he have never felt as happy as in that moment.

A/N: Surprise! I hope you enjoyed it! Love you! ♡

[archived-watercress-blog]

Cautionary Tale Interviews! Tristan “Cipher” Hallihan the Lead Editor!

Which one of the three games did you work on?

I worked on all three games as Lead Editor, and I wrote the Surrender Ending for “Beyond Yesterday’s Grasp”.

How did you get started in your field?

Due to my vision, I can’t drive. I remember being 16 and wanting a part-time job, but my house is outside the tiny town I come from; it wasn’t fair to my grandparents, since they were already driving me to and from school throughout the week - and cabs would have cut into my money significantly, on top of not being all that reliable.

At first, I used a freelance website called Guru to work on eBooks, but I had some serious difficulties and became really disillusioned with it. I lamented my (many) grievances to some friends, and one of them [an artist named Rozume, who might still be active?] mentioned that VN work can be quite lucrative. Being a fan of the genre, I decided to try my hand at it - and I was hooked from the outset!

Where do you write your first drafts? Do you like to outline, or just head in blind? Do you have any sort of writing ritual?

I write all of my drafts in Google Docs, because it’s easier to do that than to upload Word Docs afterwards.

I tend to do very vague outlines (if at all) when I write stories. For example, I’ll do each scene with a label and then a brief (1-3 line) summary of what’s in it.

If I don’t outline at all (which is often) then I still kind of do in my head. It’s more like “these are the things I want to see in this scene; here are the lines I want to include.” Otherwise, I don’t usually draft or outline - I just sort of write and present that first copy to whomever is in charge.

My ritual is to grab a cup of coffee or whiskey (usually both), put on some instrumental music, and do it. I don’t have a particular place I like to sit, but I tend to lay in a reclined position. I also prefer doing things at night rather than in the day - partially because I’m light sensitive, and partially because I do my best thinking in the evenings.

What was the most difficult part of the process?

I always find NaNo to be the most stressful time of the year, because of the time crunch and because I work for a few different studios. I also can’t say no when someone asks me to do something, so I was kind of swamped.

There were some communication issues too, since one of the teams was very hands-on. I didn’t really know if there was a polite way to step back and say “guys, the scripts are done; let me do my job now, since it’s what I’m here for.” That kind of ate me up inside, because I appreciated the help but would have rather done things on my own.

When it came to writing, meanwhile, I found the scene required I put myself in an uncomfortable headspace. I wanted it to be the best and most accurate it could be, but I didn’t want it to come across as purely autobiographical [due to the subject matter] or melodramatic.

What is it like writing in a team? Which do you prefer, team writing, or writing solo? Why?

Overall, I don’t think I have a preference.

As a perfectionist, working with a team is great because you get constant feedback and reassurance from other people. You can also do the same, and it’s a really supportive environment to grow and learn.

What advice would you give to someone entering your field?

Honestly? Learn how to use as many punctuation marks as possible, since they’ll save your life. In particular, I adore the dash.

Always ask for advice if and when you need it - no matter what your job is or what stage you’re at.

Learn how to give and take criticism, even when it might not be helpful or constructive in nature. In particular, you’ll want to identify what is criticism and what isn’t - since some people are just rude.

What advice would you give to someone wanting to do NaNoRenO for the first time?

Only work on one thing at a time - especially if you’re starting out. The time crunch will really get to you, especially if mishaps happen in real life or on one of the projects.

If something goes wrong or you have an issue with someone, talk to your project lead.

Be open with people whenever you can be, because if the work is scattered then there will almost certainly be some communication issues. Don’t be passive-aggressive or aggressive-aggressive, but know that there are times where you really have to put your foot down.

Was there anything that didn’t make it into the game that you wish had?

If I’m honest, I couldn’t give “If in Your Dreams: the Flood” the attention I wanted due to our deadlines. I’ll say this now: Wolf [project director] really deserves a “Lead Editor” credit on that, because he stepped up to the plate and did 90% of the work. It’s even more impressive because of all the other stresses and pressures he was under.

Due to some communication issues, certain “Let Go” voice actors received unedited scripts. This meant that some of the lines had to be reverted back to their original format to prevent audience confusion. It’s not the end of the world, but I’m curious as to what they would have sounded like.

What was rewarding about being a leader? What was frustrating?

It was really rewarding getting to cooperate with other people and kind of guide them (when I was able). I got to see other people’s strengths and weaknesses, and kind of direct them; for example, one of the editors was really good at spotting typos but not confident in much else, so I had her double-check all the edited scenes.

It was frustrating because you’re not always privy to what your team members think. One of them, for example, had some concerns about his skills / didn’t know how to edit a certain type of error, but didn’t let me know until after he’d already finished combing through the scripts / I was doing them.

Was this your first time doing NaNoRenO? If so, was it what you expected? If it was not, how was this different from previous NaNoRenO’s you’ve participated in?

I worked on NaNo in 2017, but joined halfway through the month. The time crunch was ten times worse, since I couldn’t even do half of what one project asked of me.

Overall, I found this year’s NaNo was infinitely more supportive. One of my projects last year was a very hostile environment to work in compared to Watercress - to the point that I got slandered by a project lead when the month was over. The other project I worked on was pretty hands-off and it lead to some problems.

How are visual novels different compared to other forms of writing?

There are really a lot of answers to that question.

My favourite is that you have to really pick and choose how information is presented, since each line is displayed individually. Traditional paragraph structures don’t really work, and one misplaced word or line can really screw up a scene’s tone or pacing.

Which character is your favorite?

Don’t make me choose!

I don’t have one for “If in Your Dreams: the Flood”, if I’m completely honest.

Caelum or Alex for “Beyond Yesterday’s Grasp”. Both of them just have this really snarky, natural dialogue that flows so well.

For “Let Go”, Maya is really cute, but Eli has these really awkward moments that are super relatable - both in dialogue and in narration.

Hindsight is 20/20. Name one thing you’d do differently.

I would have probably accepted Wolf’s help a lot sooner than I did, because I wasn’t aware of certain issues my editors were having until they told me after the fact.

I would have prioritized certain scripts in my spare time, since the last-minute crunch was mostly my own fault.

What would you like to tell someone who is considering playing our game? 

Prepare to feel emotions you didn’t even know you had (in a good way).

Sound cool? Play Cautionary Tale when it is released, or check out Cipher’s twitter!

[my-tc-confessional]

@19-2033 hi there!! i'll give it a shot 😁 you'll have to forgive me, though, i'm only a senior in high school so i may not know a lot of grad school terminology haha! thank you!! xx

-

So many words were floating around your head that you felt dizzy. This thesis definitely wasn't going to write itself, and you began to beat yourself up over procrastinating to get it finished. The deadline was approaching and you were barely halfway through.

Luckily for you, you had (TC/N) to help you out. You felt comfortable around them and they were always very patient and supportive. You formed some feelings for them, but a part of you knew it wouldn't work out -- they were much older than you and they probably wouldn't be interested in you like that.

As you were typing away one morning, you got an email.

(Y/N), hey! So how's that thesis going?

It was (TC/N)! You smiled and finished typing out your thoughts before emailing them back,

Pretty good! I got a few more pages typed up last night alone. Do you want to read them? I can send them to you!

You both had the day off, so you didn't want to make them go out and meet you. They might have been relaxing. They responded back,

Actually, why don't we meet up? We can grab coffee. My treat.

Suffice to say, the day was off to a great start. You smiled and replied back,

Nonsense, we'll go dutch. You help me out enough. Meet me at the Starbucks on Lexington and 12th at noon?

They responded back quickly,

Let me help you out even more. See you at noon, (Y/N). ;)

The winky face did you in. They had no idea what they put you through...

*

When you entered the Starbucks, you immediately let out a sigh of relief. The weather outside was nasty and cold, and the rain only made it worse. It felt nice inside.

You looked around, but (TC/N) hadn't arrived yet, so you sat down and pulled out your laptop. You made little revisions here and there for about ten minutes, when they finally showed up.

They looked miserable coming in from the rain, but once they walked in and saw you, they had a grin that made your knees weak; thank goodness you were already sitting down! "(Y/N), hey!" They greeted you warmly.

"Hey!" You nodded and waved shyly.

They pointed to the counter, "Hope you didn't order anything yet. I'm paying, remember?" They winked.

You chuckled, trying to hide your blush behind your hands. "No, no! I didn't order. I'd really rather pay for my own, though."

Their smile weakened a bit, but they nodded "Okay, suit yourself." The two of you walked up and made your orders. Much to your dismay, (TC/N) payed anyway. They had their wallet out first. You pouted at them, and they laughed. "Like I said, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to." They placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You sighed, but nodded. "Thank you."

You each sat down and started working on more revisions. You had a lot of mistakes -- nothing too terrible, just some minor things -- but you couldn't help but feel yourself shrink deeper into your seat. You did feel comfortable with (TC/N), but it was hard to have them be so critical about something you felt you'd been working so hard on. Not that they were being rude, but they were honest with every mistake they noticed.

Eventually as your responses became more dull and muted, they began to realize something was wrong.

They placed a hand on your arm gently, "Everything okay, hun?"

You nodded, "Yeah, why?"

"You seem quiet."

"I'm just a little frustrated..."

They frowned, inching a little closer to you. "I know it's not easy, (Y/N). But that's why I'm here. I'm here for you..." Suddenly, the barista called your order. (TC/N) shrugged, "And for our drinks, I guess." You laughed, and watched as they smiled and went to get the coffee. They sat back down next to you and handed you your drink, "How about this. We finish up the revisions on what you finished last night, and then we can catch a movie. You need to destress."

You laughed, "Thanks, but I think I'll just head home. I should really keep working on this. Besides, I need a lot more than a movie to destress..." You shook your head, continuing to type away on your laptop.

"Well what can I do to help?"

You looked up at them. They had a genuine look of concern in their eyes. "Nothing really, I'm fine! I just have to-"

"(Y/N), I'm serious. I don't want you pulling your hair out over this thesis... Believe me, you'll get it done in time. I know you will."

You looked up at them and felt a ghost of a smile. "Thanks, (TC/N)." With their little encouragement boost, you felt ready to finish the last of the revisions. Only and hour and a half went by, and you'd realized you only had ten pages left of your thesis (author's note: it says online that a master's thesis can be 40-80 pages???? y'all wild, how is college even real). "This is great!" You mused.

"Yeah, it's coming along really nicely!" They patted you on the shoulder. "I knew you could do it."

"Thanks to you." You shoved their shoulder playfully.

They shook their head, "Nah, you would've gotten this thong done regardless. Your writing is great."

"Meh, it could be better." You shrugged, taking a final sip of your drink. It was almost cold, now.

"Well of course, but that's what writing is all about: making your writing better, expanding your knowledge to help your writing... People can only be great writers if they're just open to learning and accepting criticism. You're a prime example of that, (Y/N). Day in and day out for months you've been working on this piece, and everytime we meet, you're writing gets a little better. Not because of me, but because of what you're able to do with the criticisms I give you." By the end of their tangent, they were smiling. "You make my job worth having, (Y/N). You're just, so open to anything and everything. Always ready to better yourself. I can't get enough of you..." They laughed, leaning their head on their hand as they looked at you.

By now you realized you were probably blushing like an idiot, and everyone knew -- especially (TC/N). "I... don't know what to say," you laughed breathlessly.

"You don't need to say anything." They smiled, "I realize your thesis is almost finished, and it's got me a little worried. Is there a way we can still... I mean, I don't know. I really like talking with you."

"Me too." You nodded, "Even after I finish grad school, I'd love to stay in touch."

(TC/N) grinned. You each got up, packing up all of your notes and throwing away your trash, and left. "I'll see you soon, (Y/N)," They said as they left the Starbucks.

You walked out soon after, "I'll see you!"

The ride back home was rough. The storm had let up a bit, but started to pick up as time went on. You didn't care, though. The day couldn't have been more perfect.

Later that night, they emailed you.

(Y/N),

I meant what I said, you know. You're truly an incredible writer. I can't wait to work with you even past grad school and see where life takes you. Whatever you do, you'll do wonderfully.

Feeling a little bold, you responded back,

Wherever life takes me, as long as you're here beside me, I'll be the best that I can be.

He responded back soon after,

And I'll always be here -- seriously, always. Talk to you soon, my love. x

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 6: You could’ve had it all

Next Monday she received an envelope addressed to her. It was delivered at her home by a man she had seen at the hotel a couple times. She opened it as soon as he left to discover it was a letter of recommendation. A very well written letter of recommendation that didn't mention her real employer's name, only the company that had hired her, but that praised all her abilities and how greatly she had done her job. Inside the envelope she also found a hand-written note that said: 

"Hope it helps you. Thank you so much for all you did, the tour success' is also part of your job. Best of luck for you, Carol. -H"

She couldn't help but tear up a bit. He had sent her a letter of recommendation and a note. If she needed any proof that her work was well done, she had just gotten it. Carol was thankful for everything she had been able to experience. The last ten days were really full of learning for her. But she was feeling a bit bittersweet because she knew she wouldn't have their chats anymore. During that time they got to know each other and came close to be not friends, but colleagues. Carolina would always remember how she worked well under pressure, with very short deadlines for very big projects and how she survived it doing a great job. Their ten days together gave her a new dose of faith. Faith in herself, in her abilities and in her skills. She soon attached it to her online profiles and started again to look through the job ads while writing her essays for school.

---

Days and weeks have come and gone and she had failed other two job interviews. Obviously she didn't like she failed, but she was somewhat relieved that she didn't get those jobs. She wanted to work somewhere similar to the job she had with Harry. She wanted to have a job where she could use everything she was learning in school. She wanted to start building her career as a journalist. She always kept her profiles updated and always looked the ads in all websites she could think of. And that was how, three weeks after Harry's departure that she found an ad in her area of study and applied to it with no high hopes. Her routine shifted back to normal after Prince Harry left. She went to school in mornings or nights, she cooked meals, she spent most of her days alone at home studying and in her free time, she went out with Julia and the girls. They went to Villa a few days later and the owner, Mario, was teasing her about how the hell she knew a prince. He said that Harry had really enjoyed his time there. So did a lucky girl that was there with him that night. It was in one of those nights while she was dancing with one of her friends, in one turn of the dance that she noticed when Julia eye's widened. Soon after the song ended, Carol went back to their table and sipped in her bottle of beer. Her friends were quiet and she thought it was weird. "What happened?", she asked. "Nothing...", one of them answered. She raised an eyebrow and looked at them. "She'll find out soon enough, guys...", Mario told them. "What the fuck is happening?", Carol was getting annoyed. "He's here", Julia said and Carol's hands immediately started shaking. They didn't have to say who was there. She knew. She knew by the way her friends were looking at her. Some of them were pitying her, the others shared her anger and Julia was looking hopeless, she didn't know how to help her friend. Her heart started pounding so fast in her chest and her eyes started filling with tears. "We had just one fucking deal.", she whispered and dared to look around. And that was when she regretted it. She didn't have to look very hard to find him. He was near the bar, with some of his friends. He was happy, he was loud and he was every piece of hot as he always were. "Do you think I can leave without him seeing me?", Carol asked already grabbing her purse and finishing her beer. "If we go through the back door, sure. But we just got here. You sure you want to leave?", Julia asked looking at her friend. "I don't want to come anywhere near him, Julia. I want to leave and NOW." "OK, no need to yell. I'm just going to the bathroom and you can call for a taxi for us. I'm crashing at your place tonight.", she said and hurried through the dance floor in her way to the bathroom. Carol grabbed Julia's purse and said goodbye to the others in her table. They all understood why she was leaving that way. She looked at the bar again, just to make sure he was still there, but he wasn't. Knowing the place like she did, it was unlikely that he was headed to the exit she wanted to go. She walked hurriedly and waited for Julia near the door. She had already called for a taxi and she was hoping it would arrive soon. Just knowing she was in the same place as him was making her head dizzy and her knees were weak. "Come on, Carol. Let's go home." Julia said and startled her. They left the place and were waiting for the taxi on the sidewalk. Carol was looking around every now and then. "We had just a fucking agreement. He couldn't come here. It's my place, with my friends.", Carol said with her tears already spilling from her eyes. "I know, I know." Julia hugged her friend. They were silent for a few minutes until the smell of cigarettes surrounded them. It was his cigarettes. It was his perfume. Carol just closed her eyes further and asked for strength. She dried her tears and took a few deep breaths to calm down. She wouldn't let him know she was crying and leaving the night club she had just arrived because of him. "Hey Carol, I didn't expect you to be here tonight, babe.", that voice. That husky voice. So masculine and so strong. She wasn't ready to hear that voice again, not to be around him so fast after their fight. Her body reacted the worst way possible, it wanted to be in his arms, to feel his body against hers and to hear and feel his breath while he hugged her. "Why didn't you?", Carol said and surprised Julia. She let got of her friend and looked at him with her chin up. She was putting a strong face to not let him know how affected by his presence she really was. And there he was. With that damn half smile and that beard. With his casual clothes that hugged every muscle in his arms and shoulders and that showed her all the tattoos on his arms. "Well my little miss perfect is about to have exams at school. I thought you'd be studying, you know?", he was smoking near her and he knew how much it bothered her. "I'm not your little miss perfect, Rodrigo.", she crossed her arms and Julia started to say they should just wait for their taxi in another place. Carol just shook her head denying. "Of course you are, Carolina. You're just so fucking stubborn to accept it.", he came closer to her and she flinched a little but she didn't dare to not look at him. She didn't want him to know how she was still in love with him. "You lost your right to be anywhere near me or calling me anything but my name when you started going out with that girl. You made your bed, now lay in it.", she said and she could feel her angst raising within her. "You still thinking about it? It was a one time fling it didn't even matter. You know I love you, my Carolinda. And I have asked for your forgiveness way too many times.", he touched her arm lightly and her brain betrayed her when she shivered. She closed her eyes with his touch. She missed it. She missed being in his arms, she missed being called Carolinda. She missed that fucking smile that always got him out of trouble. She missed the way he made her feel. She missed the way he knew how to touch her body. Rodrigo was her best friend since she was fourteen. They studied together and they knew everything about each other. At least she thought she knew everything about him. He was her first. Her first kiss, her first love, her first boyfriend and it was with him, at his beach house in Maresias, where she had her first time. They had almost eight years of history. They had broken up a few times during that time. All of them happened because he wanted his space to go out with his new found friends. The first time, she was 17 and madly in love. That was the time she did everything he said. And he pretty much dictated what she should wear, who she'd go out with and etc. At the time she didn't want to protest because she was afraid he'd broke up with her if she didn't do as she was told. And out of nowhere he came to her house once and said he needed some time to think and take care of himself. That he loved her as his best friend and girlfriend but that he thought it'd be best if they parted ways. She didn't like to remember it and was very ashamed of it but she actually begged him to not leave her. She thought it was all her fault. She thought she had done something wrong and she asked where he wanted her to change so they could still be together. He didn't care about breaking her heart, he didn't care about her tears or the way she grabbed his shirt trying to not let him leave her house at the time. Carol's grades at school dropped, she gained weight, she didn't go out with her friends and she just created her own world and wouldn't let anyone in for at least six months. She cried herself to sleep for many, many nights but one day she simply decided that enough was enough. She came back to her dancing classes, she apologized to her friends and family, studied like crazy to be able to save her semester and decided to be a volunteer at a children's foster care place. It took her a couple months to discover her new normal. And she loved it. She turned 18 and started going out with her friends and was about to start dating an amazing guy when Rodrigo came back and asked for another chance. Her mom was against it, her friends were against it but she decided to try again. This time it was more of a grown up relationship. Carol set the rules. He wouldn't change who she was. Either they'd be together because he loved her, or not. The fact that she became this independent young woman in exchange to the always afraid teenager took him by surprise. He didn't like that she was reading lots of feminist works and started to empower herself. Six months in their relationship the fights started. Carol once was afraid to speak her mind and contradict him, but not now. And he didn't like it a bit. The only reason Carol didn't break up with him was: even though he was a jerk, she loved him. And the good times were way better than the bad times. And as soon as they discovered how to make their relationship work, he simply decided to go live in Dublin to study English for two years. She was willing to have a long distance relationship, but he didn't want it. He broke up with her, and was surprised that there were no tears or begging this time. She only asked if he was sure of what he wanted and left his house with a "Good luck". He was bothered, he actually wanted the begging and crying to caress his ego, and deep, deep down he also wanted to be with her. But why would he go live in another country with ties to the previous one? He wanted new experiences, new parties and new girls. And like almost everything in his life, he didn't put much thought to Carol's wishes and went to follow his own. He came back to Brazil when she was about to turn 21. She had another boyfriend, she was in college and she was pretty much a independent woman living her life. He quite expected her to be miserable for all the time they were apart and was surprised to see that she had barely missed him. That's when he started to make a space for her in his life again. He'd send her her favorite flowers and chocolates, he'd make time to pick her up from school, he'd be at the places she liked to go out with her friends and he played the card of concerned friend when she broke up with Henrique (he didn't even remembered why they had broken up, to be honest). He was there to dry hear tears when she'd have a moment of weakness and he always took her to parties until it was unavoidable for them to date again. This time Carol was expecting for the moment where he would break up with her. Not a day had gone by for the last months that she wouldn't think "this is it". At first, like always, they had the perfect relationship. Until he started to change and didn't support her with all the changes in her life. When her parents sat with her to tell her they were divorcing and she felt her world falling apart, when everything started to be more complicated for her. He wasn't there for her. And she wondered why the hell she couldn't simply let go of him. And since last year Rodrigo had become someone she didn't know anymore. He was interested in status, in showing a way of life he didn't have. He would always be surrounded by influential people and he wanted her to be like that. He made fun of her choice of major, just because he was going to law school at the best university of São Paulo. She kept up with that until the day she arrived at this place to find that he was spending his night with another woman. She still remembered the odd feeling when she saw candles and flowers in his living room, and when she walked the rose petals path to his bedroom to just open the door and see them having sex in there. She just watched for a few seconds the scene before her and slammed the door to start running to the streets. And he followed her, he apologized and she just hit him with all she had. She probably gave him a black eye and a few scratches but at least she directed the feeling of anger and betrayal at him. "Well, then, you don't have my forgiveness, Rodrigo. You made a conscious choice. You have to be a man and stick to it.", she said and gave a distance between them. Their taxi arrived and Julia got in first. Rodrigo held Carol's arms for a while and pleaded for her to stay and talk to him. "You could've had it all. But deep down you didn't want it. So have a nice and happy life, and let.me.go.", she said with clenched teeth. "Carolinda...", she could see the pleading in his eyes but she stood firm. She unhooked her arm from his hand and entered the taxi. It took her just five seconds to break down. To start crying and sobbing. Julia hugged her friend and was thankful that the driver didn't comment on it. She hugged Carol and tried to make her friend calm down. All of her crying was breaking her heart and all that Julia wanted to make sure Rodrigo was as far away from her friend as possible.

Hi, there. Thank you so much for reading my history. I appreciate all the recommendations and messages I have received. I'm trying to set a pattern for uploading. Let's see if I can post at least twice a week? For those of you who don't speak portuguese, "Carolinda" is just a pun with the name Carolina and the word "linda" that means beautiful. =)