#his playlist is 3 hours long and pure chaos

[lelianaslefthand]

hi im back with astarion song brainrot this time its dust to dust by the civil wars

eating glass

[deepdonutkid]

Modern head canon part 3

Shelby-Family and music

Arthur

He listens to classic rock like cream and Derek and the dominos. The clash, the Beatles, Queen, the doors… stuff like that, but different to his brother John, he doesn’t keep a lot of records around and doesn’t go to concerts anymore. Also he is not interested in finding new music, but he listens to the radio in the car, because it’s just easier this way. And while he is working on a car, there better be music blasting all over the garage.

Song to represent him: Born under a bad sign- Cream

John

Cus we’re at it! ��Like mention before, he owns a huge collection of CDs and Vinyls. John loves concerts and goes to at least one per month. It is probably more. In his free time he wears band shirts. Suits are cool, but not very comfortable. And he would let his girlfriend wear his shirts, because they look super-hot on her. Especially, if the shirt is the only thing she is wearing.

In his apartment there is an expensive sound system, which he can also console from his phone, but no one but him is allowed to touch it. And you can look at the records, but you have to put them back in place, because he likes to have a special order with his collection. Nobody understands that order. Also worth mentioning, John knows bands nobody else knows and he could talk hours about that topic only. His family is already annoyed by him and won’t even ask a music question while he is in the room.

(I have a playlist of songs; I think that suits him just right, but enough said about my little guilty pleasure. So sorry about the list, I couldn’t decide on one song only. If someone is acutally interested or just liked the songs I picked… there are more where that is coming from)

Song:

Little Monster- Royal Blood

Night People- You Me At Six

Just to Get Your High- Arcades and Lions

Do You Want to- Franz Ferdinand

Gang Control- Leftöver Crack

Too Drunk to Fuck- Dead Kennedys

Finn

Sweet, little Finn likes to emulate his brothers. So he is trying to listen to all the old stuff his brothers like. Huge Queen Fan, but he also likes so much more music. Finn has a little thing for minimal and well, he doesn’t fixate on just one genre- but he hides that from John, because John is so picky about music. The smolest Shelby brother also likes going to clubs and dancing there, with the b-boyz and the b-girls. Isaiah is always with him and they keep each other’s back.

Finn is chill and he clearly gives of the “indie-vibe”. I’m thinking of Hozier and Milky Chance.

Song: The Game- Milky Chance |Wasteland, Baby- Hozier

Tommy

(I thought about that so fricking long. What kind of music would Tommy hear? A friend said something like, he don’t like music at all, but I think that’s not possible as music is available nowadays and all around us and it’s human to like melodies and the rhythm)

Tommy is the guy who would prefer silence, especially when he needs to think, but of course, when there is nothing on his mind and he has some free time with his family or friends, music is okay.

He likes romani music as this reminds him of his mother, which was a beautiful singer and would sing whenever she felt the need to. This music also reminds him of his childhood. Tommy is very reflected on that part. He knows when his parents failed and weren’t the best parents. He is still bitter about his father and wished that his mother hadn’t died, but he also remembers how much fun he had with is siblings or his parents, when they had a good day. Sometimes he likes to think about that time of life. And the music brings back the memories. Then he even likes to dance- with the right woman of course.

Besides that he likes instrumental music, like tango music or classical pieces, because there are no distracting vocals.

Song: Barcelona Gipsy Klezmer Orchestra - Djelem Djelem

And I’ll add a song with I associate with him: Bad things – Jace Everett | Bad news- Melody Gardot

Polly

Jazz, definitely Jazz here. To specify… Swing, Gypsy Jazz like Django Reinhard-Style, Bebob and some Gospel, which is not Jazz, but just leave it here.

She can also dance to that and if she’s getting an invitation to a concert she is most likely to say yes. Polly likes to show of her skills and the most guys are pretty impressed by that and her stunning confidence. When she enters the dance floor, the heads turn around.

Aberama likes to dance with her until they fight for air. Then they drop dead on a chair and drink some more.

And she taught Michael to dance, so he doesn’t have to sit around at parties. Actually she taught them all, but it didn’t work with Arthur and John.

Song: Whatever Lola wants- Sarah Vaughan | No Man’s prize – Melody Gardot

Michael

He can dance so well. Some might think he is even better than his mum. While he was in custody with the other family he had dancing classes and he’d loved it. Mainly because there he could meet pretty girls and he was one of the only boys. Until this day he still likes to dance with a girl, but he can also do it solo.

But his taste in music goes far beyond the music his mother likes. He has a thing for hard tech, hard bass, gabba, French core and general techno, but not house. And yes, he learned jump style or hakken, because he liked the challenge. Finn films him sometimes while doing that. He is proud and would totally argue with John about music. Michael also likes some rap and the artist The Weeknd. His music always makes me think of Michael

Song: It’s called XCT –Dr. Peacock |Often- The Weeknd

Ada

She isn’t so fussy about music. If she likes something, she likes it. As easy as that. She doesn’t like to stick to a genre and listens to everything that is shown to her. Her playlist look like pure chaos because there is pop mixed with rock mixed with jazz mixed with metal mixed something else.

And she likes to play music all the time, because she is not comfortable with dead silence. So her music plays while she is working, while she is baking, while she goes for a walk or grocery shopping. She dances a little, but isn’t so confident as Michael or Polly. Ada is somehow pretty up to date when it comes to music. She always knows the latest song of her favorite artists.

Song: Prisoner- Miley Cyrus ft. Dua Lipa |Back to Black - Amy Winehouse

__________________

Am I missing someone? Should I add a character?

[shipmistress9]

FTLOAP: Chapter 28: You Only Show Half To Me

Title: For The Love Of A Princess

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.

Rating: Explicit

FF-net  -  AO3 -

Discord-server for discussions and questions

Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11; Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20; Chapter 21; Chapter 22; Chapter 23; Chapter 24; Chapter 25; Chapter 26; Interlude 2; Chapter 27

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: So, everyone recovered from the previous chapter? Great. A fair warning, this chapter won't be quite as exciting, I fear. But then, not everyone can be such a highlight? There need to be calmer transition chapters too? Still, I feel like this is a bit boring. Ah, well, I can't help it ._.

This week's title is from the Song "Half Life" by BANNERS. It refers to how, no matter how close friends our chaos squad has become, they all have secrets. Truth be told, I didn't really know what to pick as the title for this chapter. But when I heard this song of my playlist, this seems oddly fitting. It makes me sad that they can't be completely honest and open with each other. But then... That's life?

Another thing: Special thanks again to @poppysfanworld for the wonderful picture she drew for this story! Thank you so, so much! :D

. o O o .

When Astrid woke a few hours later, it was – once again – to Daniel calling her and shaking her shoulder.

“Hey, sleepy head,” came his annoyingly cheerful voice, cutting into her drowsy mind. ”I know why Dagur and Eret slept longer today, but even they're awake by now. What’s your excuse for sleeping this long?”

Astrid grumbled and tried to pull her blanket over her head, but Daniel prevented that. Laughing, he wrestled her for the blanket, and soon Astrid was laughing too. She couldn’t really stay grumpy, not today. Not after this night.

“Morning, Swanja,” he greeted her when she was finally fully awake, both siblings grinning. “Sorry for interrupting your beauty sleep. But it’s my last free day before I return to Westhill, and I thought I spend it with my little baby sister instead of her slumbering away the entire day. What do you say? Any ideas what we could do?”

Astrid’s mood fell a little at his words. Right… Daniel would soon be back at the front, and during the Midwinter festivities of the following two days, they wouldn’t have any free time to speak of. Only the night of the second day was free of any official events, but if Astrid remembered correctly, Daniel and the others had scheduled their long-planned visit to the tavern for that day, and she couldn’t very well accompany them there.

With a half-amused and half-annoyed snort, she let herself drop back into her cushion. Not to go back to sleep, but just because it was more comfortable than sitting halfway propped up on her elbows on the soft mattress. “Baby sister?” she asked in affected indignation. “I’m turning eighteen in two months! Don’t you think you could leave off the ‘baby’ by now?” Not to mention that, after spending the night with Hiccup, she felt more grown-up and mature than ever. A pleasant shiver ran down her spine at the memory. Surely, the term ‘baby’ didn’t suit her any longer.

But Daniel just gave her a wistful half-smile. “You’ll always be my cute little baby sister, no matter whether your hair is decorated by a coronet or dry leaves.”

“That only happened once,” Astrid snorted, and rolled her eyes as she swung her legs out of the bed. “And it’s been what… eleven years ago now? Besides, may I remind you that it was you who encouraged me to hide in that massive pile of leaves? Seriously, you have no right to put any blame on me for the tantrum my governess threw afterwards.”

“I never said it was your fault,” Daniel defended himself, arms raised, before they shared another grin at the memory. “But my question still stands. What would you like to do today? The choice is totally up to you.”

Astrid walked over to the bedroom door to give Ruff, who undoubtedly stood outside, the sign to come in. “I assume that was meant as a rhetorical question?” she deadpanned. What did he think where she would want to go?

“Well, I wanted to give you the choice anyway,” he said, shrugging, and averted his gaze. “I wouldn’t want to persuade you to agree to anything just because I suggested it.”

Sighing, she threw him a fond smile. “That’s cute. But I think we both agree on where we want to spend a free day.” She paused for a moment, biting her lip as she pondered, but then added, “Besides, I have a second reason to want to go to the stables, other then just going to the stables. I lost my necklace, it’s probably there... somewhere... Maybe we’ll be lucky and can find it?”

“Your necklace? Sure. That’s definitely a good enough reason to go there, in case we needed one.” He winked, and stood up from her bed’s edge as Ruff came in with a curious expression. “I’ll go and tell Eret and Dagur. And get a picnic basket packed for us?”

“That sounds perfect,” Astrid agreed.

Both she and Ruff followed Daniel with their eyes as he left, then her maidservant commented, “I assume that means you’ll wear another one of your sturdier dresses today? Frigga, I’m so glad I just got a few of them back from the laundry.”

Astrid chuckled slightly, knowing Ruff had a point. Her wardrobe really wasn’t cut for prolonged weeks of this life of freedom. Not long after, Ruff returned with one of Astrid’s recent favourites; a woollen dress in deep forest green with a few golden highlights that came with an incredibly sturdy and warm cloak in moss green and brown.

While Ruff got her dressed, Astrid allowed her mind to drift away for a bit. The hours she’d spent with Hiccup last night had been spectacular. Never in her life had she imagined something could feel so good, so liberating, like those lightnings bursting through her, like an explosion. She longed to feel it again. And she would, she knew, maybe even tonight. But even more powerful in a way had been the rest, being so close to Hiccup without even the slightest barrier between them. As if that physical closeness had brought forth a deeper mental closeness as well. And just lying with him, sleeping arm in arm… despite it only lasting for a couple of hours, it felt like that had been the best and most restful sleep she’d ever had.

In addition, staying that long at the stables hadn’t been a problem either. She’d been back at the castle just in time to join a group of servants coming over from the city for their daily work, and luckily, Ruff hadn’t noticed her absence either. There’d even been enough time to sleep for a bit longer before anyone checked on her. Now, there really was no reason for her not to meet Hiccup as often as she liked, when even getting enough sleep wasn’t an issue anymore.

Now, all she could hope was that their newfound closeness wouldn’t show in their normal interactions.

. o O o .

With a low grunt, Hiccup sat back on his haunches, and hopelessly looked around his stall. Usually, it didn't seem to be that big, but when one was almost literally looking for the needle in a haystack…

After Astrid had left, he’d fed the horses with an entirely new flourish, feeling so light as if nothing could ever darken his mood again. All his fears and worries had evaporated, all his hopes fulfilled. So long as they kept a bare minimum of clothes on, there was nothing holding him back during those nights she came to him anymore, not any rules, no fears of going too far, and no worries about scaring Astrid off either. He just might need to be a little more careful, as he was suddenly going through his stack of clothes at a much quicker rate.

But Freya, the way she’d responded to his touch, so pure, so eager and curious. Hiccup thought that he could have continued forever to explore her body – to help her explore her body. Watching the wonder in her eyes had been almost better than everything else. Almost.

Because the best had been… just holding her, sleeping with her in his arm, waking up next to her. Exploring how the sexual part of their relationship would be had been fantastic, just as he'd hoped. But never in his life had he imagined how wonderful something simple as her warm and sleepy weight on his chest could feel. He couldn't wait for when that would be normal.

But that was still years away...

Sighing, Hiccup focused back on the present, and, not for the first time since Astrid had left, ran his fingers through his hair as let his eyes wander over his makeshift bed. So far, there’d been no sign of her key. Sure, he’d only looked for little over an hour after caring for the horses, but his knees already hurt from crawling around and now, his left leg started to twinge a little.  

But it wasn’t like he had anything else to do anyway. There was no combat training today, so he didn’t need to be at the garrison or the archery range in time, and he didn’t know of any other plans that might include him either. No, all he had to do today was give the horses some exercises, Chomp especially, and try not to get distracted all the time by thinking about Astrid too much.

Like the warmth and lightness that radiated from the bond in his chest. Or the way just remembering her laughter made his heart swell. Or how much he wished he could simply run his fingers through her hair, just once… He wanted to play with it, to disentangle the silken strands, and see how she liked it. He couldn’t even say what it was about her hair that drew him in. Maybe it was simply the fact that he couldn’t, since even dishevelling it here at night would be too dangerous. Getting those endless silken waves back in order would take forever. But that didn’t change the fact that her hair held an almost irresistible allure to him. Sighing, he pushed that thought away. One day, he reminded himself. But until then, brushing away loose strands every now and then was all he could do.

Lost in his daydreams and in the studious activity of rifling through the straw, the sound of the front door opening caught him completely by surprise. He barely had time to scramble up on his feet before the cheerful voices of his friends reached him.

Eret was the first to call out. “Ho, Hiccup? Are you here?”

“Yeah, over here,” Hiccup called back, and poked his head out of his stall, smiling as Dagur and Daniel entered the stables behind Eret. The prospect of spending some time in friendly company was good. But as welcome as the sight of his friends was, there was nothing that quite matched the moment Astrid came into his view as well.

Only a few hours had passed since he’d last seen her, but that didn’t keep his heart from making a joyful leap at her sight. He actively had to suppress the urge to walk over to her, to cradle her face in his hands, and to kiss those soft lips that were twitching into a bright smile right now. Fighting to not show his emotions too obviously, he quickly turned his attention away from her.

“Good morning, Milords, Milady,” he greeted them all at once, and bowed in his usual playfully exaggerated manner. It might have started as a way to tease Eret, but by now it had become almost second nature to him. It felt right... in a weirdly wrong kind of way.

“Morning,” Daniel replied. There was something like a smile around his mouth, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He looked tired, exhausted even, and Hiccup wondered idly what it had been that had occupied him last night, what the note he’d received had been about. It seemed to have been important, judging by how little sleep Daniel apparently had gotten.

“Morning, Hiccup,” Eret greeted him too, and placed a basket on one of the straw bales. It was a familiar sight by now, and meant they intended to spend the whole day here, or at least long enough to justify eating here. It was also a very welcome sight as it meant good food and even better company today. Although...

Involuntarily, Hiccup’s eyes flickered in Astrid’s direction for a scant second. Lately, there hadn’t been a problem with behaving normally around her, not with the prospect of eventually being unobserved and free to interact with her again. But last night, something new had formed between them, and Hiccup wasn’t sure whether he’d be able to interact with her directly without showing just how much he felt for her, whether he’d be able to contain what he felt. The chance of slipping up and for their friends to suspect something was pretty high.

And Eret’s next words didn’t exactly help to soothe those concerns either. “What were you doing back there?” he asked, and nodded at Hiccup’s sleeping stall.

Hiccup bit his lips. ‘I was looking for Astrid’s necklace after I must have ripped it off during heavily making out with her last night’ probably wasn’t the most sensible way to answer. “I…” he began, and swallowed as his eyes wandered from one mildly curious face to the other. The faint blush on Astrid’s cheek didn’t help his concentration either. “I was taking a nap?” Damn, why had that come that out like a question? “It was a long night, after all, and I was still tired after…” he trailed off, shrugging, and hoped to appear nonchalant.

“Understandable,” Daniel answered with a grin. “From what I’ve heard, you had a good time at Freya’s Temple? This Cami must be a rather spirited woman. Dagur even mentioned some broken furniture?”

“Ahm… Not last night, no,” Hiccup hastily rectified. Again, his gaze flickered to Astrid, wondering what she would be able to make of such a comment. But there was nothing but curiosity in her soft eyes, and it helped to somewhat settle his nerves again. “But yes. Last night had been… It had been fantastic,” he added with a wide grin. Daniel and the others didn’t need to know that he wasn’t talking about Cami, after all. However, the words reminded him of the supposedly broken figurine that was still hidden in his cloak. Last night, he hadn’t gotten the chance to give it to Astrid, and now he wondered when there would be a good moment.

“No argument there,” Dagur chimed in, a slightly dazed look on his face. “Who would have thought that a human body could be so flexible.”

Eret choked on a bit of sweet bread he’d just swiped from the food basket, but managed to hide it as laughter as Dagur cackled at his own comment. Oh, that might be a bit of information Hiccup would keep in mind for teasing Eret every now and then.

He and Daniel chimed in on the laughter, but the Prince quickly sobered up when a strange coughing sound interrupted the general amusement. All eyes wandered to Astrid standing to the side and watching them. Her face was red, and Hiccup could read her all too well. She was fighting back her own laughter. But apparently, Daniel interpreted her flushed face differently.

“Erm, right,” he muttered, and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “Probably not the best topic. Sorry, Swanja.” He gave her an apologetic smile – which she returned with a simple nod – before he turned back to Hiccup. “Anyway, I suggest you go back to the Temple some day when it’s still bright outside. The architecture of that place is amazing! Have you seen…”

He digressed into a monologue about the structures Hiccup had already admired last night, and Hiccup would have been content to listen a while longer, making mental notes of all the small peculiarities he was to look out for. But as Daniel threatened to drift off into a detailed description of a secret statue hidden between a few roofs and only visible from a few selected windows, Hiccup caught the desperately pleading look Eret threw him, and intervened.

“I’m not sure I can keep all these information in my head,” he said, and held up his hands to make Daniel pause. “But maybe you can make a list of the most important points? Or even better, show me tomorrow when we’re there for the grand blot?”

Daniel blinked, apparently realising that he’d once more gotten carried away. “Right… I think such a list even already exists. I’ll see if I can find it, because I fear I won’t have the time to show you tomorrow.” He sighed, and Hiccup nodded, understanding. The grand blot tomorrow was, of course, an official and public event. Not the right time for the Crown Prince to make a private tour for a stable boy.

“Anyway,” Daniel went on, noticeably more cheerful and obviously intent on bringing up a new, brighter topic. “You haven’t by any chance found a necklace somewhere?”

For a second, Hiccup’s heart dropped into his stomach. How could Daniel know about… Hiccup physically fought against glancing at Astrid, but what little he got from the corner of his eye, she seemed relatively relaxed.

“A n-necklace?” he asked, deciding that playing dumb might be the best way. He wasn’t supposed to know about any necklace, right? “What kind of necklace?”

“It’s–” Daniel began, but at that moment Astrid stepped forward and interrupted her brother.

“It’s just a simple necklace,” she explained, acting timidly. “A plain golden chain with a small key as charm. I must have lost it here yesterday.”

Hiccup was about to answer, scrambling up every bit of acting skill he could muster to interact normally with her, when Eret beat him to it.

“You lost your necklace?” he asked, brows furrowed in confusion. “Here? Are you sure?”

Astrid turned towards him, shrugged, and nodded. “Yes, I think so. I mean, I only noticed when I was back in my rooms, but where else could I have lost it? Sure,  it also could have fallen off on the way back to the castle, but I can’t imagine why or how. No, I think it’s here somewhere.”

Eret’s forehead was still wrinkled, but he nodded. “I see,” he murmured, then turned to address Hiccup as well. “So, did you find anything?”

Hiccup shook his head, internally sighing in relief. Talking to Eret was way easier. “No, I haven’t found anything,” he announced as sober as he could.

“All right, let’s have a look then?” Daniel suggested. “Where were you yesterday? Do you remember? You certainly were here in the main corridor. And in Markor’s stall too, if I remember correctly.”

Astrid nodded, a little hesitantly. “And in the tack room.”

“All right, then let’s see if we can find it.”

. o O o .

With a heavy sigh, Astrid wiped a loose strand of hair out of her eyes, and silently cursed herself. She hadn’t been thinking when she mentioned the key, had she? What did it matter whether she got it back now or in a couple of days? Sooner or later, either she or Hiccup would have found it anyway. But no, she just had to mention it, hadn’t she? Daniel had been right; it wasn’t as if they needed a special reason to spend a day here…

And she really ought to have known better. She should have known that her brothers would do anything to help her get her necklace back. Even if it meant for five people to crawl around in the straw for hours. Or that was what it felt like at least, even though it probably was barely more than one hour so far.

“I fear this is hopeless,” she sighed, frustrated. She knew they wouldn’t find her necklace after all, not with where they were looking. At some point, Eret had brought up that, with Hiccup having already fed the horses, it could actually be in one of the other horses’ stalls too, so they’d extended the search places accordingly.

“No need to give up just yet,” Daniel called over from where he tied Trample to a hook in the corridor to have space to search his stallion’s stall in peace. “There’s still a few places we can look, and when we can’t find it, we’ll simply dig a little deeper. It’s got to be somewhere, right?”

Except that we’re not looking where it actually has to be, Astrid thought, resigned. This was not how she had thought this day would proceed. Truth be told, she’d hoped Hiccup had found the key by now, that he would offhandedly comment he’d seen it lying around and hand it back to her. But this… It was Daniel’s last day off, and she didn’t want him to waste it on this fruitless search.

Deciding to try and redirect today’s path, she slumped down on a nearby straw bale, and shook her head. “I don’t know. It could be anywhere. Maybe I lost it on the way back to the castle after all, or it’s somewhere hidden in yesterday’s dress.” She shrugged. “It’s okay, maybe it’ll show up again, and if not…” She trailed off, feigning indifference.

Daniel looked crestfallen, but didn’t contradict her. “You’re probably right. I’m sorry. I’d hoped I could at least…” Sighing, he shook his head.

“I’m sorry too, little sis,” Dagur said, and placed a comforting arm around her shoulder as he sat down beside her. “But how about we all go to the city and get you a new necklace? How does that sound?” He sounded cheerful as ever.

Astrid, unable to resist his good mood, smiled, but shook her head. “That’s a kind idea, really. But I have enough jewellery.”

“And that’s not the point anyway,” Eret threw in. Shrugging at Dagur’s puzzled expression, he explained, “It’s the charm that matters, right Swanja? It’s the key to the coffer your father got for her some years ago, and what’s valuable is what’s inside that coffer.”

“It is,” Astrid agreed, but tried to play it down in order to make them drop the topic. “But it’s not that bad. It’s mostly full of keepsakes, you know, swan feathers and arrowheads and the like. Personal things, but nothing of real value.” She chuckled, feinting embarrassment. “I’m sure the key will turn up eventually.”

Dagur nodded. “And if not, we can always break it open, I guess. So how about we go and get you a new coffer right away? I saw a shop in town, and I’m sure they’d love to have their work used by the Princess.”

“You just want to get another box of cookies,” Eret commented, laughing as he leaned against the wall of Trample’s stall.

“Well, that wasn’t my main intention. But now that you brought it up…” he shared a grin with Eret, and Astrid could swear she heard Hiccup chuckle from where he was half-heartedly searching through another stack of hay a few steps away.

“Cookies don’t sound so bad,” she said, not quite getting the joke but too occupied with preventing unnecessary damage anyway. “But I don’t think we need to get a new coffer just yet. As I said, maybe the key will show up somewhere after all. Maybe we should keep breaking it open as a last option if everything else fails?”

“Indeed,” Daniel agreed, sounding surprisingly cheerful all of a sudden as he poked his head out of the stall he’d been searching. Astrid looked up to find him with a bright grin on his face. “Before we resort to brute force, there might be another option we ought to consider first.” He paused, making sure everyone was listening, and if possible, his grin grew even wider. “We could try to meddle with the lock itself first. I mean, I think our skills at lockpicking aren’t that good, but maybe it could also be disassembled? Now, if only we knew someone whose versed in mechanics and the like.”

There was a moment of silence before everyone turned to look at Hiccup. So far, he hadn’t really participated in the discussion, and Astrid understood all to well why that was. With the memories of the previous night still glowing so brightly in her mind, it was hard to keep her usual calm facade around Hiccup. And she guessed he didn’t feel much better.

Although, right now he looked just as surprised by Daniel’s suggestion as Astrid felt. His eyes wandered from Daniel to Astrid, over Eret and Dagur, and then back to Daniel again before he found his voice again. “I… I think I could… give it a try?” he mumbled, more asking than anything else. His eyes searched hers once more, openly asking her opinion for once, and it felt strange in a way.

“Would that be okay for you, Astrid?” Daniel asked, a trace of concern now in his voice. “If we go back to your rooms right away, I can stay with you the whole time if that makes you feel better.”

Astrid was hard pressed not to laugh out loud, but managed in the last moment to keep quiet, even as her head was suddenly spinning with all kinds of thoughts. If she agreed, Hiccup would be in her rooms. It was a dream and a nightmare at the same time; him appearing in the middle of the night to surprise her when she slept, his arms winding around her, their lips meeting, never letting go again. And always the fear someone might spot him. But of course, this would be different. Hiccup would be there on official invitation, not just on hers but on Daniel’s too. Daniel would be there to observe that nothing inappropriate happened, so there was no risk of getting caught.

But on the other hand, Daniel would be there. If Hiccup was successful in opening the lock, then she somehow had to make sure that Daniel wouldn’t even take a fleeting look inside. Could she manage that?

Maybe it would be better to not let Hiccup try… The key had to be somewhere in his stall, after all. She could wait another day or two. Yeah, that was probably the best option.

Astrid was about to decline the suggestion – but when she wanted to say so, she couldn’t. How was she supposed to explain her decision? By implying that she didn’t want Hiccup in her rooms? Or didn’t want him to see what was inside by any chance? She wanted to seem indifferent to Hiccup, not averse.

All these thoughts crossed her mind in the span of only a few seconds, but in the end, all she could do was nod. “That… would be okay,” she muttered, unable to come up with a more reasonable response. At least she had a little more time to think of a way how to keep Daniel away from the coffer now.

“Good,” her brother exclaimed cheerfully. “Let’s go right away then.”

. o O o .

So... yep... sorry that this chapter not as exciting. :

But there's one other bit I wanted to talk about... There's the key... I thought about what to say, if I should say anything or keep the mystery just for fun. But then I thought there already are enough secrets, so I could just as well clear this up right away. They lost key serves a purpose in the end. But it's only a small piece of a bigger picture, and it's not to reveal their relationship or even blackmail them.

Next chapter

[grimelords]

My May playlist is finished and it’s got everything from Rachmaninoff to Peaches across 3 and a half hours, I hope you enjoy it.

If The Car Beside You Moves Ahead - James Blake: James Blake has got such a big brain and this song is unbelievable. He has such a way of taking things that could be gimmicky like this vocal stuttering, or looping vocals and making them totally heartrending.

The Boxer - The Chemical Brothers: The central melody of this song is constantly stuck in my head and complete proof that you can make an incredibly catchy hook with just three notes if you need to.

known(1) - Autechre: I think this is maybe Autechre's most straightforward song but it still sounds like a harpsichord concerto getting sucked into a black hole. The way the violin-ish part swoops around throughout the whole thing, disintegrating and reforming before your eyes is hypnotising.

Sundown - Boards Of Canada: Guess who started crying this month listening to an ambient Boards Of Canada song thinking about how the end of soil is within my lifetime and we have destroyed our only home the earth!!

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys: With their new album coming out I went back and listened to AM for the first time in a while and it's still really astonishing what they pulled off. This and R U Mine? completely blew me away when they came out. Having the audacity to completely change your sound and style and have it work perfectly is amazing, and then disappearing for five years and trying to do it again? Bold.

FML - Kanye West: I was listening to this a lot when Kanye was off his lexapro and fucking his whole life up. And now there's a sequel to this on the new album where Kim's begging him not to fuck the money up, which I think is a very good kind of storytelling.

United P92 - Venetian Snares & Daniel Lanois: I love the idea of ambient Venetian Snares and this is the song on the album where their two ideas meet in the middle the best I think. Also the way this builds and builds into total chaos I always forget that it's coming and get surprised when it says 'the machine can cum', what a funny song.

Turnstile Blues - Autolux: I saw Autolux's drummer in Jack White's band when he played on SNL a couple of weeks ago and suddenly remembered how perfect this song is. A true testament to the power of a simple groove that sounds like it was recorded in a concrete garage.

Young For Eternity - The Subways: Yet another great song about being a vampire and all the benefits that vampirism can bring to your life! Thank god for Dracula! He sucked the shit out of me, now I can leave my work for nights and leave my days for sleeping! Young for eternity!

Oh Yeah - The Subways: I bought a 7" of this song a couple of weeks ago in honour of the time it inexplicably caused me a mental breakdown and made me sprint out of my house to drive around town crying and listening to it on repeat for some hours about 5 years ago. Not sure what that was about!

The Blues - Defeater: As far as songs that go for less than a minute go, I really can't fault this one. Pure power, it does absolutely everything it sets out to do and still manages to get two choruses in under the wire.

Bombay - El Guincho: I saw Holy Mountain this month in a double feature with El Topo, and although El Topo kind of sucked I loved The Holy Mountain a lot. There's a part where there's been a battle and a whole lot of protesters are dying on the ground bleeding, except you can see that the blood and guts are obviously special effects, you can see the hose that she's using to pretend to cry and the guts are green balloons and things like that. Hold on I found it on youtube anyway I know I've seen it before and I thought it was in the video to this song or another one of CANADA's videos but I watched them all and can't find it! If anyone can tell me the music video I'm thinking of, thankyou. This song is also, of course, good.

Swim Good - Frank Ocean: Honestly has there ever been a better song about wearing a cool suit and driving your car into the ocean?? Never. This is perhaps the best sing along song ever because you've got to do your smoothest voice ever until he does his little emo yells of 'I'm goin out!' near the end.

Batphone - Arctic Monkeys: I think this is my favourite song off the new Arctive Monkeys, it's the most '3am slamming away at a club piano' type vibe of them all, but most of all I love the little spiralling into space guitar noise that keeps happening whenever he finishes a line.

An Open Letter To NYC - Beastie Boys: I'm almost always thinking about the time Beastie Boys made a very serious song about how good New York is after 9/11 and they said 'dear New York I know a lot has changed, we're two towers down but we're still in the game'.

Black Car - Beach House: I can't get enough of the new Beach House album, and this song in particular. It's some of my favourite lyrics of theirs ever, a good song for when you're trapped in a dark labyrinth of your own creation.

Midnight Radio 1 - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Got quite heavily into Bohren & Der Club Of Gore again this month. This is from the album before they got rid of their guitarist and replaced him with a saxophonist, which pretty dramatically changed their sound from 'extremely brooding night music' to 'film noir soundtrack', which is still very good but really not the same. Anyway this song goes for 20 minutes and it feels illegal to listen to it any time before 2am.

House In LA - Jungle: I am so excited that Jungle are finally back and with such an amazing song too. I love how spacious this is, it feels very different to their first - a lot more grown up and I really can't wait for the album.

Lemonworld - The National: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'the guy from the national sounds like he's been going through a divorce for ten years now' which is very true, but this song feels like it's from happier times when he went to see his sister in law and had an morosely horny time. This song feels like the entire experience of reading a literary novel condensed into 4 minutes: a depressed older man in New York having a sort of backwards, confusing sexual thought. This is a song I regularly listen to on repeat and sing along to, it's a very specific feeling and I think "it'll take a better war to kill a college man like me" is one of the best lines he's ever written.

Rigamortis - Zomby: I put off listening to the new Zomby album for so long because his last one was just so boring but he's completely redeemed himself on this, it's really something. It feels like one long piece, which is amazing when any sort of thematic coherence is a rarity for Zomby albums. There's a lot of recurring sounds and motifs, and almost zero drums in the traditional sense. It feels like a really mature reflection on grime that he's been building up to for years.

Indoors - Burial: Whereas this song sounds like you're waiting outside a club in hell.

Segeln Ohne Wind - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Another Bohren song but from much, much later. I love the way the brass sounds in this when it finally comes in, it's so rich and overpowering.

Isle Of The Dead - Segei Rachmaninoff: Wikipedia says "The piece was inspired by a black and white reproduction of Arnold Böcklin's painting, Isle of the Dead, which Rachmaninoff saw in Paris in 1907. Rachmaninoff was disappointed by the original painting when he later saw it, saying, "If I had seen first the original, I, probably, would have not written my Isle of the Dead. I like it in black and white." and it also says "Prints were very popular in central Europe in the early 20th century—Vladimir Nabokov observed in his novel Despair that they could be "found in every Berlin home". Folks what is going on with this spooky painting.

Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction: For a long time this was the emergency dead air song on Triple J, which is an inspired choice in my opinion because there'd be ten seconds of eerie silence because something's gone wrong at the station and then suddenly two huge loud chords! and dogs barking! A BEEN CAUGHT STEEL IN! ONCE!

Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel: I was sitting on the toilet when I saw a news article that said Peter Gabriel has finally made his music available on Spotify and I said 'yessssssss' loudly myself and then played Sledgehammer. Honorable mention to the best ever sample of this song in Contemporary Man by Action Bronson, which is unfortunately still unavailable on Spotify.

Reaching The Gulf - Dylan Carlson: I saw a review of this album saying Dylan Carlson is the only choice for soundtrack if they ver make a movie of Blood Meridian and they're completely right. I'm also so glad that he collaborated with Emma Ruth Rundle on this, it feels like the closest I'll get to bonus tracks to her Electric Guitar One album.

T-1000 - Swarms: I have no idea where or why I first heard this album but it's been in my rotation for a long time. It's in the general canon of post-Burial dubstep before dubstep got americanized and it's just very nice. When the vocals finally come in on this it's a very emotional moment for me.

Casino Trem - Tyondai Braxton: It's really surprising listening to Tyondai Braxton's work after Battles because he has such a distinct melodic style it's shocking to realise how much he brought to that first album. After listening to a lot of his solo stuff it becomes so recognisable it almost feels like you can go back through Mirroroed and pick out every single guitar line of his making. Anyway this song is great. Starts out sounding like what it feels like to be trapped in a pokie and ends up like you're trapped in a databent Banjo Kazooie cartridge.

Kick It - Peaches & Iggy Pop: The first time I ever heard this song, and the first time I ever heard of Peaches or Iggy Pop was on the soundtrack to Midnight Club 3 so I didn't really know what the fuck was going on. I still don't really. I love that this is supposed to be like a dangerous sexy song but the whole time Iggy Pop is just rebuffing her advances and bullying her. Then she's like 'go to berlin' and then the song ends. Still not sure what this one's about still!

If You Know You Know - Pusha T: GOD this song is good, I've been listening to it on repeat. What I love about Pusha T is where a lot of other rappers talk sort of frivolously about drug dealing and everything, he often feels like he's putting his hand on your shoulder and looking you straight in the eyes saying 'I am not fucking around. If you need drugs of any calibre or kind I can get them for you in massive quantities.' The impish way he's saying 'if you know you know', absolutely kills me, like he's a cartoon man winking at me while hiding drugs inside a tennis ball.

Hacker - Death Grips: I think I put this on my playlist last month but I'm still on it so. My new favourite part of this song is when he says "The table's flipped now we got all the coconuts bitch / Burmese babies under each arm / Screaming beautiful songs".

Cavity - Hundred Waters: Hundred Waters feel like a really underrated band to me, I've been listening to their last two album a lot this month and they're just stunning. The long build up towards the end before the two note melody comes back and kills me? What a moment.

Music For The Long Emergency - Polica: I didn't love this album when it came out but I've been listening to it more and more and it's really growing on me. I think I put this song on a playlist a month or two ago so I won't write more but let me say this: Polica rules.

On The Grid - Lime: tfw you turn the knob and you do a good job and you wind up on the grid :/

Elephants - Them Crooked Vultures: I feel like Them Crooked Vultures gets forgotten when people talk about Queens Of The Stone Age albums. People bring up Desert Sessions and Kyuss but somehow forget that this giant album happened. Anyway this is far and away the best song on it because it just keeps on giving and giving. It's just a huge jam about riding an elephant and having cool hair(?).

Particle - Hundred Waters: This song feels like it could be the EDM hit of the summer if it was structured slightly differently, but instead it's the biggest brain pop song I've heard in a long time. I love how much power the bass has in this, it really feels impactful when it comes and goes. The vocal performance is obviously incredible as always but I really love the distorted vocal line that sort of tears itself apart now and then, against how clean everything else in this song sounds it really makes it.

Me Or Us - Young Thug: Thinking hard about when Young Thug sampled First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes and made it into a really really good song.

Because I Love You - Montaigne: God this song is good. All the time the lyric 'I ate a salad today, I ate one yesterday too' pops into my head and makes me laugh. She tweeted about this song a couple of days ago and it really made me laugh: "My ex-boyfriend & I once watched BBC Sherlock & during the ep he paused & basically soliloquised about how he’s a tortured genius just like Sherlock & I’m his Watson in as condescending a way as you’re probably imagining then poured a shot of whiskey & now you know the story"​

listen here

[leefelixs]

breaking up with chan

genre: angst

pairing: bang byungchan & you

word count: 1874 words

summary: the downfall of your relationship leading up to your break up with chan

notes: it’s only fair to have a boyfriend series lead into a break up series right? thank you for your request anon! <3 i started the boyfriend series with chan so its only fair to end it with him.

problems in every relationship are normal...it’s once the problems get out of hand its too much

and the thing with being with chan...conflicts can arise from various scenarios

all the attention he gets from other people is difficult to cope with and can lead to your self esteem crashing, and you know he would never do anything...but a fear and lack of trust can develop

chan is the type of guy who wants to see the best in people and is fully aware of when people are truly trying their best or not putting the most into it

and the thing is he loves you and wants the best for you and from you...and it can be too much

we’ve seen how he transitions from happy byungchan to leader chan in a matter of seconds

he loves you, chan is not the type of person to jump into a relationship for the hell of it or just to have someone to call his

he is with you because he loves you and feels so much for you

and when you’re with chan, it’s impossible to not exchange habits with each other.

he falls in love with the little things about you that you wouldn’t notice about yourself

like the smile lines you get when you laugh too hard or the way your eyebrows always furrow when you’re confused

and even through all your problems he never once considers leaving you it’s not even an option in his mind because chan is not a quitter, he does’t give up no matter what

but he never thought about what you felt and your limits after these arguments

and its not like he doesn’t apologize and do everything to make up for it...but there’s a point in time where these arguments get too frequent

as i emphasized before, he pushes you because he believes you can do more

but you can’t

there’s frustrations between schedules, the endless amounts of attention he gets, the effort in your relationship

“what can i do to make it up to you? i’ll do anything.” at the end of every argument he’s on his knees holding your hands because he realizes he doesn’t want things to end

and you can only smile sadly because you love him so much too

but you know this isn’t healthy for either of you anymore

he has 8 other boys to worry about and himself, you don’t want to keep adding to it

“babe, i’ll be coming home earlier today than i thought. do you want me to pick something up?”

“no chan you don’t have to. i just have to talk to you about some things.”

your mind and heart are racing the entire time waiting for the door to click and open and you have never felt so empty

you feel your eyes burning and sting from all your crying trying to convince yourself it’s for the best

and when the click comes your heart almost stops

“hey! how are you love? how was your day?” you can hear the exhaustion in his voice but he’s still smiling even then

“it was fine.”

“oh. i’m glad. are you alright?”

when he comes into the living room and sees you sitting there with most of your things in a bag, he freezes

it’s just pure silence for a moment and his mouth is slightly open and his eyes say everything

“what is this about?” he’s trying so hard to compose himself and he’s convinced in his mind everything will be okay and he can fix this

“i think we really need to talk chan.”

“tell me. i’m ready to talk about anything as long as you don’t leave. tell me what i need to do to fix all of this.”

he seems so desperate in his eyes and his voice wavers slightly at the end as if he has so much more to say but can’t bring himself to say it

“there’s nothing for you to fix. don’t say it like that chan, you can’t do anything and neither can i. i just think sometimes people are not meant for each other like they thought they were, and it hurts me to know we’re some of them.”

every word you say reaches him much more than he would have ever wished for

and he knows those words are going to hurt him for a long, long time

every single instinct in his body and every thought in his mind is begging him to fight for you

because chan has always fought for everything he has wanted, he spent years of his life fighting to debut and he refused to let that go

and he refuses to let you go too

“tell me what i did wrong, so i can improve for you and me. everything i do has to be for us and i don’t want to do it just for me. i can make it better.”

but all you can do is shake your head and bite on your lip nervously

“no chan. there’s nothing to do about this. you’re amazing and wonderful but we’ve just outgrown each other, you know?”

he doesn’t understand it..but he knows those words will linger forever in his mind

and just like at the end of every argument he holds your hands and tries to get you to look him in the eye

“please. just think about it...” he can’t even finish because he knows as soon as you looked him in the eye it was over

your mind was set

chan never gave up easily, but you had already given up on him

and with that he let go of your hand and could feel the tears welling in his eyes but he refused to let any of it spill

he licked his lips and nodded slowly to himself letting it all sink in

“okay.”

it’s all he can say as he stands up slowly and gently hits his hands against his pockets and nods

“that’s it then. i...i’m sorry for not being more for you.”

“chan...you were more than enough. we just have other things and people to find.”

“i was too much wasn’t i? don’t feel guilty i just need to know.”

he wants to know every flaw and mistake he made during the time you both spent together because he wants to fix all of it and he wants to be able to better himself and maybe just maybe you’ll come back to him

“no, things just fell apart. it wasn’t you chan. don’t blame yourself.”

and even if the words sink in he knows he’ll spend every night for a long long time blaming himself

he helps you take your things and watches you as you move around

all he wants to do is kiss you just one more time but he knows that will hurt him more than anything and it’s not healthy for you either

“i’m so sorry.” its the last thing he wants to say to you and he keeps his distance as he says it

you shake your head and sigh

“it’s not you. it was both of us. take your time chan. i’ll always be here for you. you’re still my best friend.”

“always find me.”

watching you leave has his numb and out of his senses but he drags himself inside and closes the door

it doesn’t hit him until he gets to the bed and lies in the cold sheets

and thats when the first tears fall

chan would distance himself from everyone in terms of his personal life and feelings but he knew he had a job to do and would try to throw himself heavily into that

every mistake from himself would agitate him and he would push himself too hard

staying up to ungodly hours and getting two hours of sleep trying to work on music or help the others practice just so he can’t think of you

oh, he makes so much music thinking of you that never see the light of day or only get to 3racha’s ears

the most memorable recording session was when he finally got to rapping one of the songs that meant the most to him

and at the end of it all you can hear is “i loved them”

he wants to forget you entirely

you were his best friend and not just the person he loved

little things would remind him of you and it would leave him stunned

the mistakes made during practice would drive him up the wall and leader chan is much more harsher than usual

he has to keep himself from yelling and whenever he’s about to burst changbin or woojin will try to calm him down because they know it’s hard

the boys will feel hurt but try to understand his situation

and chan loses it and apologizes every time through tears and it’s just a sad group hug that ensues

he makes a bunch of simp playlists and listens to them at night when he knows he shouldn’t and it’ll only hurt him

he doesn’t sleep because the lyrics hit so hard and he just stares at the ceiling in silence

it would takes months for him to force himself out of this slump but it would’t be healthy

he would convince himself and everyone around him that he was fine and ready to get back to work fully

throwing himself into the chaos of a busy schedule and finding every excuse to be practicing or working on a new project

he wouldn’t even remember what his room was like sometimes

work is what makes him try to forget you

and he told you to always find him...but chan realizes he can’t

he can’t look out for you because it will only hurt both of you

and the night he finally blocks every form of contact with you felix and jisung are right there with him, hugging him and comforting him

he feels pitiful and doesn’t want the members to worry about him because he should worry about them instead but he accepts it because he knows he needs it

jeongin and hyunjin are right there the next few weeks constantly hugging him or telling him how much they appreciate him

minho plays leader for a few days until things are okay

woojin and seungmin keep an eye out for him

that’s what finally helps him get closure

and just like any normal human being

the little things you used to love stick with him and he never fully forgets you...in fact even a few years from that moment he might not fully recover from it

like it will naturally slip into his subconscious and bring him nostalgia

and as time passes he isn’t bitter. he isn’t angry. he was never angry to begin with, he was just hurt...the possibility of being your friend again is not off the table for him

if you reach out to him he will accept it and hopefully be able to be in your life if you ever need him

but the pain subsides and he accepts the memories

he knows you’re out there doing your best

and he hopes you’re happy too