#his list of weaknesses grows constantly in my mind

[granolawriting]

Within the confines of a ship ˚✧

pairing: Jedi!reader x Jedi Anakin

Summary: Spending night after night having sexual tension with a certian Jedi on a mission surrounded by your peers in a ship comes to a head when one day he stops trying to be discrete about what he wants.

Content warning: 18+ NSFW, minor exhibitionism, dom!Anakin, tension, Anakins a tease, breif aftercare, you guys stop caring about making no noise like halfway through, p in v unprotected, he cums in you, I don't think I actually wrote anything that explicitly makes the reader female, Anakin is glaringly cocky

word count: 2.6k

masterlist

A/N: so sorry this took so long to put out!!! I just moved to a new state :)! I hope u enjoy the second installment of my kinktober list, I'll see you all again on the 10th ;). Make sure if you like my work to check out my requests/comissions or my ko-fi!!!

The silent hum of a ship deeply comfortable in hyperspace and the muffled talk of fellow Jedi upon the ship fills your mind as you try to ensure that's all that enters it. Subconsciously you hone in on voices, unable to discern conversation but by mere tone and inflection alone could you spot him if he was there. 

… 

There he is. 

You felt the sound of his voice sink deep within your stomach, igniting your body ablaze. Even the mere sense of him in distance to you made you grow weak, feeling as a pool builds through slick underwear at how your mind allows it to wander. Anakin had never been explicitly sexual with you, never did his hands trail down the waistband of pants or under hooked lines of bras, never did his lips even touch yours or the flush of bodies against one another. You were completely left to your imagination, though not without the help of Anakin. 

You and him have always had a history, a tension of sorts. Never properly actualized with action but words were more than enough. The way his eyes devoured you when you walked past, soft words exchanged in private halls or even implicit praise after simulated battles between you and him. 

“Ooh, good girl. Seems like someones been practicing.” 

Small things. Though as he strung you along this road of implication and suggestion your mind was allowed to run wild with what else may lie within his own mind. The reactions to the things you’ve said in kind, and how if they were anything like how you responded-- with hands sinking to the ooze between your legs the moment you were home, you were more than certain that it couldn't last like this forever. What you would do more than anything to please him, hear how he moans, the way he’d praise you. The feeling of him inside of you, what did he even look like? 

It didn't help that you two were constantly surrounded by one another in hidden corners of a ship, it wasn't cramped but it was definitely rendering you on edge as every corner you turned had a much higher potential of holding anakin than it usually would. Though, with that, the tension only grew stronger. Seeing him fresh out of showers with only cloth wrapping his lower half, catching staring eyes from across dining room counters and most of all, the words exchanged in the few moments left alone with one another in the confines of the ship. 

“Where are you off too darling? 

“To my room, didn't think anyone else was awake. I was just going to head to bed.” 

You remember how close his face would inch towards yours, the soft clank of a heel that indicated one more step closer to yours. You remember the sly look on his face, a half cocked brow and egotistical smile, arms crossed and strands of hair littering his face. 

“I don't think anyone else here is awake either. Well, I'm glad I caught you before then.” 

The way he looked you up and down, subtle gnawing on his lip as he drank you in. the warm tug that drew your lips to his. 

“Why's that? Did you need something?” 

“Well I could tell you quite a few things I need from you.” 

You also remembered the hissing of a door behind you as it indicated its opening. The feeling of the flutter in your heart quickly dies as dread follows in the wake of something interrupting such a moment. To turn behind you you greet a jedi that you barely remember the name of. And with that does Anakin take off once more through the same door-- eyes locked on you and a smile that feels as though it was coated with lust as his mind was a secret to you but his body told a similar story. Every part of it. 

Lifting yourself off the bed you trail slow feet towards your door, an entrance to the room where anakin shared. Unsure of what you were meaning to do when you got to him, all you knew is that you needed to see him. Talk to him. Something. 

Walking out into the common area you watch his eyes on you once more, growing from notice to intrigue as you grow closer to him. Those around him stop conversation briefly, tuned in also to what means you had to be out there. 

“Hey Ani, do you think I could talk to you for a second?” 

“Oh yeah, what's up?” 

“Um, 

Pausing for a second you don't know what to say. Everyone's eyes lay on you as they dissect your motives, morbidly curious about what you’re to say to him. 

“Alone, please? You can just come into my room.” 

A look on Anakin's face that was initially worry quickly molded into something much more lustful, the cocky grin coated his face once more and a hood to his eyes that insinuated that his mind was someplace much different than the rest of the people in the room regarding what you were implying. You didn't even know what you were implying. All you wanted was to go out there and see him, watch the way he moved and allow yourself to sink deep within his eyes and embrace the enchantment you held for his every feature. The desire you had for every inch upon his body. 

“Say no more.” 

A smirk curved on the right side of his cheek as he lifted himself up from his seat. Watching as his fingers comb through long hair that pushed it back for just a moment before laying perfectly upon his face, sculpting his face did slight waves along its side make way for a weakening gaze to fall upon you that made you feel as though your knees were to give out. 

The short walk to your cabin felt like miles as every step that loomed behind you was an aura of uncertainty and tension that built up with every foot you moved closer behind that door. 

The sound of the doors open and subsequent closing made your heart well up in anticipation, fear almost. You didn't know what to do, what to say. You had nothing to talk to him about other than your insatiable lust for him, and that wasn't quite on the table to casually discuss. Though as you look for the words to speak he says them for you. 

“And what exactly did you need to talk to me about in silence, hm?” 

He taunts you, it's clear in dark tone and greedy eyes that he knows precisely what is so hard to get out. 

“Oh well I, I don't quite know how to say it.” 

“Oh come on, use your words.” 

“I'm trying it's just that I-” 

“Spit it out baby I don't have all day.” 

Banter back and forth as he capitalizes on your meekness comes to a head, and with the inability to put words into sentences at the face of him towering over you with a taunting glance you lean in for a kiss. 

Anakin, caught by surprise, has eyes wide open, but after a moment passes a smile can be felt to grow wide on his lips as he deepens the kiss. Arms snake around your waist as he yanks you closer, both bodies flush against one another as your back curves slightly at the tug of his arms on the small of your back. 

“Good girl, I wonder how long it’d take you.” 

He lets up for breath and whispers in your ear as he moves a hand to your head, stroking your hair as your senses are overtaken by the words pouring into your ear. He sounded greedy, cocky. He had been toying with you, seeing how long it took until you broke. He loved watching you writhe under him, hums escaped your lips at the mere vibration of his voice against your body, the touch of his lips against yours. 

You feel his knees bend slightly as his hands make swift moves to the back of your thighs, lifting you up does he return his lips to yours. Feeling him grunt inside your mouth as he walks you over to the bed, interlocking your legs around his as he tosses you on unmade sheets. Crawling on top of you does he deepen the kiss evermore, sticking his tongue into the back of your throat do you feel a growing bulge within his pants. Laid directly on top of you did you feel it grow mere inches above your heat, desperately you find yourself unconsciously grinding on it to feel it even more. He's big, even through loose pants does he leave no room for imagination as it presses up against you. Feeling it twitch through thin layers of cloth. 

“Fuck-- ngh. Wasting no time hm?”

His hands caged you in at either side, he let up from your kiss to focus on the feeling you provided him below his waist. You felt as his hips started to follow rhythm with your waist, inching lower down your body so his bulge laid directly atop your heat. 

Through desperate buckling of hips you speed up pace, feeling him right on top of you as the only thing separating him from you being a few pieces of cloth. Biting back your lip do you desperately try to hold back the moans that scratch at your throat at the feeling of him rubbing on you. 

A hand falls on your mouth the moment you let one slip. 

“Don't make a fucking sound. I know how much you love my cock baby, but we’ve got to stay quiet hm? Think you can do that for me?” 

You nod your head in agreement. He removes his hand and fixes his rhythm atop you once more. 

“Fuck it. I need to be inside of you.” 

Legs straddle your lower half as his body folds to take off your pants. Cool air hits the exposed wetness of underwear as you feel a finger drag along its center. 

“All of this for me baby?” 

He teases your clit with his index, moving it in slow circles as he trails up and down your folds. 

“You’re so fucking hot.” 

Taking his own pants off does he leave no underwear on himself, revealing his cock that stood mere inches from your entrance. 

Fuck he’s huge. 

Leaning on you once more does he flush exposed cock along the slick coating your underwear. Kissing you slowly as he moves his hips up and down your heat. 

“Mmhg, god, anakin please” 

“Please what? Come on, speak up baby.” 

“Please, please fuck me. I need to feel you I can't stand it anymore.” 

“I love hearing you beg for me.” 

He snakes a hand down to your underwear, pulling it to the side as he coats his cock with your juices. It takes everything in you not to whine out his name as he slowly teased you, feeling how hard his cock was against you moments before he finally put it in. 

As he waits at your entrance for a moment, you feel him slowly sink into you as muted groans escape bitten lip. 

“God you’re so tight.” 

His head bucks up as he inches deeper in you, exposing a neck with small beads of sweat and defined jaw as his face looks up at the ceiling. 

As his body grows flush against yours, you feel more full than you have in your whole life. No finger could ever suffice the sheer size of him, all the times you’d imagined him inside of you with even 3 of your own deep within you could never amount to how it felt now. The curve of his cock hitting the entrance to your womb, your entire body engulfed in flames at the feeling of him merely being warmed inside of you. 

With steady motion he began moving in and out of you, your hands grip the sheets of your mattress at the mere feeling of him pumping in and out of you, legs instinctively shutting together at the feeling. Though with stern hands does he push you back upon again; 

“Open your legs for me, baby. I wanna see you.” 

And you obliged, heavy calloused hands grip on your thighs as he gets steady motion inside of you. Labored breaths as his brows contort in pleasure upon finally feeling inside of you. 

“You don't know how long I've wanted this baby. To finally fuck you like you deserve, I could have never imagined how tight you would be imagining you as my fist every night.” 

your head turns into the sheets of your bed as he begins to pump into you harder-- your body overtaken by white hot pleasure that sank deep into your stomach as the only thing you could think of is how your body memorized his cock. The feeling of every vein and every inch, the way it curved into you and the constant push on the perfect spot that made you feel like you were going insane. 

“Huhh, Anakin please don't stop. Please, please” 

You begin to beg in a hushed voice as every word you spoke was laced with whines and moans. 

“Oh what? Are you going to cum baby?” 

You respond in a hummed moan that gives him all the information he needs. His hand trails to your clit as he begins to play with it as he thrusts into you. Picking up the pace of not only his hips but his fingers as they both make you go dumb with pleasure. 

“Come on, cum on my fucking cock. Get even tighter for me baby I know you can do it. I want to feel your legs fucking shake for me, feel you convulse on my cock.” 

You feel it well up inside of you as you boil over, and only a few more seconds after his demands were you plunged into a frenzy of movement under him. His arms grip your legs together as he pumps into you through your orgasm, never stopping for a moment as he rides it out using you even after you’ve finished. 

“God-- anakin I cant. I cant please,” 

“Come on, I know you can take it. Be a good girl will you?” 

You lay flat against the bed as he uses you, fucking into you as though you were just a toy. But as your orgasm finished his was soon to build up. His thrusts becoming irregular and desperate, sweat collected on the ends of his hair as it fell into his face. 

“Say my name.” 

“A..Anakin” 

“Say my fucking name.” 

“Anakin!”

You yelp his name as he slams into you, feeling him pour into you as he dumps every last drop of himself inside of you. You feel him twitch inside of you as his cum seeps out of open edges of your insides as he stays flush to you through his orgasm. Legs slightly twitch as he seems hard to stand, and slowly he pulls himself out of you to leave only a pool of white leaking out of you in its wake. 

“Let me get you cleaned up. Stay right there.” 

He commands you as he walks into your bathroom a few feet away, gathering a towel to wipe along your heat and anywhere that has substances that can't quite stay there. Though through labored breath he continues; 

“I think we’re going to have to do that more often, baby.”

[druidrot]

Okay 1 and 13 from the sultry prompts list feel VERY Gale to me, if that inspires you at all!

Your honor, based on provided evidence the jury has come to the conclusion that Gale Dekarios is indeed guilty of being a munch. Not actual smut but like pretty damn suggestive. It borders on it. It’s dirty. Don’t talk to me 😭😭

Real talk I’m sorry this has sat in my drafts for so long. Anon, you deserve better but work has been draining lately and tonight for some reason was the night my mind decided to work. Anyways muah i love u thank u for requesting, i hope you enjoy!!

Pairing: Gale Dekarios x Reader

Prompts:

1. A kiss to the thigh

13. You are constantly finding new ways to surprise me.

Rating: Explicit - MDNI

warnings: foreplay, like lots of it. this came out a lil worship-y but gale is a fucking loser and I’m so weak to that shit. i say that with the most love but 😭😭. allusions to good ole’ cunillingus babey!

unsure of the word count

Gale takes his time tonight.

There is no urgency in his actions, no desperation–just pure, unadulterated adoration. His hands are gentle against your skin, soft, like too much pressure might shatter you like glass. He is resolute though, driven, unyielding in the face of his desire for you. He knows exactly how to touch you; he knows exactly where to touch you. It's like your body was made to be known by him, to be loved by him.

You sit comfortably in the big armchair he has nestled in his study, legs spread wide to accommodate his frame. He is kneeled before you like a man devoted; like a man pious, besotted and yearning for you . He looks so very hungry when he turns his gaze up to meet yours, though his smile is soft, beckoning, drawing you in like a moth to a flame. You answer his smile with one of your own, smoothing a hand through his hair as he begins to creep his hands under your dressing gown.

"I will never tire of this," he murmurs, reverent, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your knee. "I will always be starved for you, my star. I will never have enough; there will never be enough to satiate the hunger you inspire.”

You can’t help the silly, lovesick grin that pulls at your lips. To you, he is breathtaking in his want for you, unabashed and proud. You love the way he loves you, so fully, so complete, like this is what the two of you were made to do together. It is intense, all-encompassing, makes your insides twist and turn.

“You spoil me rotten,” you whisper, all sweet smile laced with heavy-handed desire. “I burn for you, Mr. Dekarios. You make me ache.”

He offers a punched-out sound, a chuckle, and his molten eyes darken in the heat of his want. His kisses grow heavy, then, hot where they land on your skin, teasing where they trail up and up and up…

“You are my renewal and ruin all at once,” he breathes, sticky with need. “I am lost to you, my darling. Eternally lost to you.”

You mewl, tangling your fingers in his chestnut hair. “Show me, my love. Show me how you love me.”

He grins a wickedly handsome smile, pressing another hard kiss to the soft flesh of your thigh. He bites down gently, teasingly, basking in the sultry moan that rumbles in your chest.

“Gale,” you urge, pleadingly. “Let me see how lost you are. Let me see what I do to you.”

He squeezes the flesh of your opposite thigh, tongue laving over the little indents his teeth left in your skin. His eyes are sharp, heavy with lust, and you think you might drown in their depths forever.

“How desperate you are,” he teases, hands now moving to push the fabric at your hips up higher and higher. You can only sink further into his touch as his intentions become clear.

“You are constantly finding new ways to surprise me,” he muses, eyes locked on your pleading gaze. “I sometimes forget how eager you are to have me. But no matter, my star. I will happily oblige your desire to be tasted.”

You can only gasp, body pliant, mind foggy, already drunk on him as you surrender to the heat of his mouth.

[bicheetopuff]

Grill I have a sudden thought. Epiphany if you will.. Call it curiosity even!

Kirishima is kind of a parallel torwards Izuku in some way when being friends with Kats (just more, confident and less bullying and Kiri being a rock)

But what about Iida?

like, For some reason- Iida does seen Izuku as a rival and kind of want to prove himself that he can be more with or without izu-

I am- I'm not sure how to word this. I am not good with words, but I think what I want to say that Izu and Kats kind of have a type when befriending others

Iida & Katsuki (Similarity)

Loud

Studios

Prideful

Not chill

Goal minded (I'm stupid maybe)

Rule binding (Kats is just very chaotic in responding to rules)

Both probably sleeps at 8 PM

I'm not sure anymore I think you can list it better than I do-

Help this is not even remotely a coherent thought, so please just ignore it if it doesn't make sense

Have Izu for your troubles!💞

bkdk is the only ship I ship, just- thoughts

Don’t worry, bkdk is constantly on my mind too, I get it.

I actually really love the way Izuku and Iida’s relationship parallels Katsuki and Kirishima’s and it makes me kinda sad that people stopped talking about them.

I wouldn’t say that they parallel in dynamic very much, but they parallel in a sense that Katsuki and Izuku are so obviously jealous of each others friends. Well… not jealous, but there’s definitely a feeling of, “I’m glad he found a friend who treats him the way he deserves to be treated, because I am in no place to be the one to give him that no matter how much I want to,” kind of mutual insecurity. And it’s made so blatantly obvious (even being confirmed in an interview) that I genuinely wonder what Horikoshi was thinking when he decided to do it. Like, what were his intentions with that? Outside of obvious yearning?

Like, I feel like Iida and Kirishima is who bkdk wishes the other could see them as. Kirishima has that same overly positive spirit and self sacrificial heroic attitude that Izuku has that Katsuki hates so much. The difference is, Izuku’s self sacrificial attitude isn’t healthy while Kirishima’s is, because Kirishima’s quirk is literally a shield which makes it nearly impossible for him to inflict injuries onto himself deliberately like Izuku does. Kirishima is Izuku without the fatal flaws that worries Katsuki so much. Now with Iida, he’s an organized goody two shoes with a tendency to let his emotions spill over in a scary/somewhat violent way, just like Katsuki. However, Iida is also missing Katsuki’s fatal flaws. Iida is stubborn but he’s able to let people into his life and he doesn’t have an explosive temper, nor does he have an extremely inflated ego. He has a similar social pressure that Katsuki had growing up with his family and other adults in his life pre-projecting him to be a great hero and having him set a standard for himself that he isn’t able to reach until realizes his weaknesses, which he’s able to do a lot faster than Katsuki was able to.

They don’t just parallel in their relationships, but they parallel narratively too fairly often. I touched on it a bit in this post [x], but I’ll explain it a little more since I find it fascinating.

Since Izuku views Kirishima as Katsuki’s ideal friend, and Katsuki views Iida as Deku’s ideal friend, they kind of act on it in a way that ended up setting up the whole narrative about hand holding in the story.

With this,

Being a clear call back to this:

(I also wanna point out that the memory of Ochako saying that “he’ll think it’s disgraceful to get rescued” being recalled in both of those chapters)

I feel like both “You’ve always managed to outpace me!!” and “I probably shouldn’t be the one…” are proof of that insecurity I mentioned earlier. They truly don’t believe that they’re the most important people to each other, and their mutual belief in that just kind of proves them wrong ironically. These two scenes is them indirectly extending their hand through someone else, because they think that someone else would do it better.

There’s way too much emphasis on them being scared to hold hands for it to be considered platonic, IM SORRY BUT IM NOT BUYING IT

I’m sorry if this wasn’t coherent, it’s literally 2am where I am…

[umbra-draws]

Prologue

Scarlet Shrike!

----------------------------------------------

“Alright recruits, our next assignment is going to be a little bit different from our usual ones. 

Today we shall be going over a list of the Principality's most wanted enemies, currently still at large. 

I hope that…”

Iron Shield sat and fidgeted, trying his best to listen to the Guard Commander.

Despite his best efforts his mind refused to settle, constantly replaying the events of what he had come to recall as that night.

This had been going on for months now, and while normally he could cast the memories out and be able to focus on the task at hoof, today was proving otherwise. 

There was nothing he could do about them, so he let the memories crash over him once again. 

The small, quiet hamlet of Twin Hearth's had been his home since as long as he could remember. 

The fateful night that haunts him itself started the same as every other had.

Iron Shield, who was working hard as the black-smith Sure Steel's apprentice, had just returned from an evening walk. It was a mild mid-spring evening and he had hoped to make the best of it.

He thought nothing of the smell of smoke mingling with the smell of the blooming wild flowers after all the longhouse always had a burning hearth at this hour, so nothing seemed too out of place to him even though the amount of smoke seemed a tad unusual. He was looking forward to the warm meal that the smell promised and maybe even one of Hema's quarry berry pies as a treat if he still had room afterwards. 

When he rounded the bend to see the little hamlet ablaze his good spirits fled him in an instant. Most of his home was in an inferno. Somepony was attacking them! 

He rushed down to find any survivors, there had to be. They were a close community after Elderberry would think of something, he always did and everything would be fine by morning…

The columns of smoke billowing out of the longhouse and the homes of his friends and family caused a wave of panic to rush through his body. He galloped just to the edge of the village but froze on the spot when he saw large shapes scurrying between the burning structures. There was no mistaking those misshapen forms for ponies.

He was losing hope of finding any pony and the eerie silence that he didn't realise until that had gripped the valley deepened the closer he got to the flames. All he could hear was the fires and the popping of timber.

He was too late. 

"The way I see it, you've got two choices." said a mare's voice with an implacable accent and a  hint of amusement, "you can either stay and fight me, or you can run away and send some of my pets to play with you."

He spun round to see a pegasus mare sitting in the centre of the road where he had just come from, as if she was waiting there for him this whole time.

She had a staff leisurely draped over her shoulder and far more scars than Iron had ever seen on any one pony, more so than even the few adventurers that passed through some months ago. What chilled him to the bone was her left eye, it had a straight scar cutting right through it and seemingly had been replaced by a smoothed onyx, that glinted with the light of the fires behind him. A foul pressure poured out and into him like some ravenous beast clawing at his very soul.

Her smirk was one that wouldn't have been out of place on the face of a large predatory cat, quelled any thoughts that he was anything but at her mercy.

"why?" he choked out, his voice shaking.

"My army must grow. " she said wistfully, gazing over the flames, where her skittering creations lurked. 

"B-but. wha-... why here, w-why us?" Iron asked, mind racing to every conclusion and dreading that they all may have been reality. 

She shook her head and snickered at him, far too lightly for a pony responsible for this sheer destruction. "I do this because you are small, isolated and above all else, weak. You are” she looked at the longhouse and a true smile creeped onto her face,” or rather were the perfect target.” she said with a laugh in her voice. She then looked him at him as if she were expecting him to act-whether to run or attack he could not say.”Now then innocent one, with this in mind I ask you instead: why not?" her smile growing twisted and revealing fangs that have no place in a pony's mouth. 

"You're a monster" he said in utter disbelief, all the while holding back sobs. 

Her laugh was like a cackle and entirely mocking. 

Seeing something in his expression her laughter died down and face her softened slightly. She then looked away from him and said. "Sometimes you have to be. This world is not all harmony afterall." her voice was distant and more tired than he would have expected. She then stood up from where she was sitting in the centre of the road and holstered her staff.

She shook her head again, let out a sigh and said."Now my naive friend, I believe I gave you a choice, fight or run. Choose wisely, one is far quicker a death than the other" she said, beginning to walk towards the town. 

The next few days after that night was a blur to him, he only recalled vague flashes of him running through the night, gnashing fangs and warped shrieks of the horrid things that pursued him with unnatural vigour. 

He made his choice, he could never figure out whether it was the smart move or just cowardice.

Nevertheless he was alive because of it.

Iron Shield surfaced from his reverie to the Commander placing the final wanted poster on the wall. 

"This recruits, is a pony I'm sure for many of you, needs no introduction. This is one of the most, if not the most dangerous sorcerers on the continent, this is Scarlet Shrike". The poster of the scarred pegasus had the same smile in the artist's rendition as she had when she destroyed Iron's home and sent him running like a foal into the night. 

Iron Shield stared at the wanted poster and vowed that he'd put a stop to her or die trying.

[princess-edmundo-diaz]

one thing I personally love with Eddie's current storyline is how much it ties back to his closed off nature about his traumas/the shooting/etc. eddie has always had hyperindependent tendencies in my opinion - he thinks he has to do things alone. he is constantly trying to look like he is put together enough to function (ie all of season 8 so far). I'd argue the only times we truly see him ask for help (as opposed to someone offering/jumping in) is when it comes to Christopher (ie, most of the season 7 parenting moments we have with Chris and buck)

But when it's his own personal things, it's really hard for eddie being able to open enough to ask for what he needs. buck is there for his ptsd breakdown only because Christopher called for help, but almost every other big moment when eddie verbalizes what is going on in his head is almost yanked out of him against his will? when he tells Bobby he is mad at shannon for wanting a divorce, when he has to admit his panic attacks because buck won't give up, the list goes on.

eddie didn't grow up in an environment where he was allowed to be anything but okay. his entire life, he had to make his own plans on how to pick himself up. his deployment and marriage with shannon are interesting because he falls right into these roles. oh shannon is pregnant with their son? eddie immediately marries her and then jumps to a career that will provide for their family. a career with premiere health issurance and proper death benefits if something happens to him. his father was never there for his mother, and eddie fell into the same situation - going as far away as possible to provide because that was his job as the 'man of the house'. I don't even think he truly considers how much he is repeating the cycle and neglecting shannon emotionally until she leaves.

throughout the series, we see him do better and better with this, but there are still lots of things that never come to reckoning. I find it very interesting that when he has panic attacks, buck is like well you did just get shot recently, but Eddie is adamant that is not the reason. he knew he was stuck in a corner because he either had to admit the truth about his lack feelings for ana or come to terms that buck would want to talk about the trauma of the shooting.

we see this again in season 6 when buck is struck by lightning and the implications of his 'death' stick with him for a while after. buck asks eddie what he remembered from the shooting, and Eddie clearly diverts eye contact and gives the most vague answer. again, he is reverting back to being there for buck and being what buck needs, but in his mind, the only way to do that is to be small and take up as little space as possible. and at that point, he doesn't want to bring up the trauma of the shooting or how weak his emotions made him feel.

and again and again, we see that differ when it comes to chris. eddie could never see chris as a burden. eddie is holding strong to not be a burden, but he would never think of Christopher that way. ever. eddie loves being needed honestly, and one of their major fights is eddie and chris working through chris needing him *less* (chris wanting to go to the park with his friends). I'd argue he loves being needed by buck almost as much as he loves being needed by chris. he would do anything to take care of his people's needs, but he doesn't even give a second thought to neglecting his own. the biggest example of this, i think, was dispatch eddie. he barely gave it any thought before he transferred. being a firefighter was part of his identity, something so vital to helping him feel his own worth, but he was willing to give that up immediately when chris expressed his fears.

with Chris not actually in his care anymore, this is the first time eddie has to ever put his own needs first. and one of those needs *is* his son. right now, eddie feels like this is the best option for chris because this is what chris wants, but fighting for his son is going to be eddie fighting for his own needs.

it'll be one of the first times we will ever see him put himself first purposely.

and I think once we open that well up to where eddie feels more confident in his worth as a whole person, he will finally be able to express things he always felt were 'too much'. (ie, the shooting, all the other traumas of his life). eddie has never had a moment where he hasn't felt the weight of the world on top of him with all the things he is responsible for, so it will be so beautiful to see him recognize that he deserves true care for himself (and not just chris!!) too.

that is what I'm most excited about his arc. yes, I'd love to see a reckoning on his sexuality for sure, but the acknowledgement that eddie understands his worth and that he is not a burden - that people help him because they *love* him. that's so personal to me 😭

[mania-sama]

Hello,@mania-sama ... How are you?

"What do you think are x and y’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic?"

So, just found this kinda ask for various ships, I was thinking to ask you, if you don't mind and have free time, of course.

For your fav ships: Shin Soukoku, ItaFushi, IwaOi, Klance or KevNeil (feel free to pick whichever you want to answer). 🌻🌷

thank you so much for the ask! glad to see you back; i know this is going to be a fun one! so sorry it took me so long to respond. i wanted to treat this with care, and i've been a bit busy as of late.

I'm doing very well, especially since you sent in an ask! I love answering these. You say to pick one, but I am extra. I am going to pick them ALL. Spending time breaking down my favorite ships will be a fun mental challenge for me. Because I did them all, I only really did one strength and weakness. And "what I love about them" is pretty much covered in my responses; I spare no details, I think.

So, proceeding in the order that you listed:

Shin Soukoku (Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi)

Strengths: They make each other better because they understand each other so well. Now, this may sound very general and very basic, as you can say this about most ships, but let me explain. Shin Soukoku's whole thing is how they violently push each other to be the best version of themselves that they can be, and they do this through the very unconventional methods of fighting and screaming harsh truths about each other in the middle of fighting. They claim that they do not understand the other's actions, but that is always, consistently, inherently untrue. Their actions prove otherwise. When Atsushi makes the suggestion that Akutagawa should not kill for 6 months, he does so under the impression that Akutagawa will follow through because he knows the kind of person Akutagawa is. When Akutagawa hands off his coat to create the Beast Beneath The Moonlight-Rashoumon singularity, he does so because he trusts Atsushi in this moment to take care of them both. Previously, he might have let them both drown, if to just take down his sword enemy.

What makes the ship so attractive to me is their clear yin-and-yang reflection: The good within the evil, and the evil within the good. SSKK is quite literally the same character, but one is flipped upside-down and pulled inside-out. That is also why they understand each other, and why they can grow so much despite always fighting and screaming insults; they each have a bit of the other in their soul. Akutagawa does know what it means to be good. He has goodness over his heart. Do you not understand his protection of his sister? His love for her, his inherent need to do something to give her a better life? Then there is Atsushi, who understands cruelty more than anyone else may. Who has a blood-red hand over his own heart, that wants to give in to the Beast, that wants to end it all where he stands. That maybe, for just a moment, wants to die. When I think of Shin Soukoku, I think of this quote Atsushi told Akutagawa, on Akutagawa's manipulation of Kyouka:

“People need to be told they’re worthy of being alive by someone else or they can’t go on.”

Read Bungou Stray Dogs: BEAST, and you'll get a much clearer picture of what I'm talking about.

Weaknesses: ... These guys are. Uh. Awful. To each other. I do not think it is healthy to be constantly trying to kill and/or maim your partner. I think it is very possible for them to become friends, as seen in the BEAST where they share sugar-filled tea together. I have latched onto this scene as it is proof that they CAN be friends, if it weren't for DAZAI. But I digress. A relationship built on constant assault and mistrust (in the beginning, and even now I think that they still tread close to each on the tips of their toes) does not make for a healthy one. As friends, they could probably arrange something. As a true romantic relationship? Absolutely not. Listen, I can pretend all I want that they grow old together, adopt five cats, have weekly water schedules for all of their plants, and do not bite and scrape at each other every ten minutes, but canonically, canonically, that is not the case. Neither of them function like that. They don't work like that. Akutagawa has PERSONALLY torn off Atsushi's leg TWICE. Atsushi LITERALLY blew Akutagawa up. With every encounter, they fight. And I fear fighting is all they will ever know.

Love comes in many forms. They can love each other, and respect each other, even, and maybe grow into the twisted form of trust and reliance that enemies tend to have, but their relationship should never stray into romantic. Neither of them deserve that. So, maybe, in an ideal world, they do have that happy ending. But Asagiri has decided he no longer believes in idealization, and I understand that. I do think there is a universe out there where they adopt those cats and water those plants, but that is not the current BSD timeline.

Maybe it's the BEAST timeline.

ItaFushi (Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji)

Strengths: This is going to be cheesy as hell, but it's true: their greatest strength, in terms of their relationship, are that they have each other. In the beginning, their ideologies were quite different. Itadori believed, and still believes, that everyone should be saved and should be given a second. Megumi.... not so much. He believes whole-heartedly in the consequences of actions, that when someone shows signs of wrong-doing, they should be cut off like a strangling weed. Do not save those that should not be saved, and do not take risks where the risks aren't necessary. His issue with Mahoraga was never about taking risks; he was entirely willing to throw away his life for the win. That wasn't a risk, because winning is not a risk. Then, they meet each other. Megumi goes against his usual convictions and asks Gojo to save someone that should not be saved, someone who is going to, undoubtedly, cause irreparable damage to the world as he knows it. Itadori kills something for the first time. His eyes are opened to the nuances that plague the Jujutsu world. However, they are still strong where they stand, which is why they butt heads and have that argument in the detention center.

They grow from that, though. We see that they start to see each other's points of views without necessarily losing their main convictions. They grow, in essence. The second segment of why I believe each other to be their greatest strength comes from this: both of their lives are built around their strong relationships with their loved ones. They live for their loved ones. Nobara does not have this same issue; Megumi and Itadori, on the other hand, have much stronger ties to their respective family members. Itadori, with his deceased grandfather, and Megumi, with his sister. When those people are far out of view, it is each other that they begin to live for. It is each other that they strive to be better for. When Itadori is fighting Sukuna at the very end, it is not to save Jujutsu society. It is to save Megumi. He has lost all will to fight, except to follow through on his promise to save him. And Megumi sets his will to live on Itadori, in turn. He latches on and says, "I will try, if only for him."

Weaknesses: Man, their mental health fucking sucks. I am personally a non-believer in the last chapter of Jujutsu Kaisen, if only for the fact that we all know that that is not how mental health works. I have always been true in my belief that it is very hard to give well-received love if you cannot love yourself. To start with Megumi: he never really grew from his previous place. His mental health is still garbage. Living only for one person is diabolical work, and we can see how well it worked out for him when that one person was taken away from him the first time around. That is going to not only stress himself out, but stress Itadori out, who he's meant to be in a relationship with. Then, Itadori: why Gege decided to end the manga with Itadori smiling in sunshine and rainbows is crazy, because that is simply not true. Itadori ends up laying in the same exact boat Megumi is in: he fights only for Megumi. He doesn't care about living or dying or fixing anything. He just wants to save Megumi, and that is also diabolical work that will equally stress both of them out.

Yes, the manga ended with that issue not addressed, with Itadori seemingly content with the way he leaves. But that is simply not true when compared to two chapters before, where he was corroding himself with self-blame, for all the damage he has wrought for not being strong enough, for not being convicted enough, for not doing and doing and doing. And Megumi, like I said, circled back to the place he was in the beginning. As they are now in the manga, I don't think it'd be that bad. But according to my correct analysis, they have a whole lot of internal work to do before a romantic relationship would be completely healthy and fruitful.

IwaOi (Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru)

Strengths: This one is pretty obvious to me. Their greatest strength is, easily, that they are both strong, convicted characters. They believe in each other's strength; they believe in each other's abilities to pick himself up and carry on. And when one is struggling to do so, the other will waste no time in putting on a brave face and yanking him up. When I think about IwaOi, I don't think of the fist-bump scene like most people do. Instead, I think of the scene where Iwaizumi is falling apart after Karasuno defeats Aoba Johsai. He's standing there, stock still, replaying all of his screw-ups as if everything was his fault, that their loss is solely on his shoulders. That this is the end - there is no more high school volleyball, and he blew it. Then, a hard slap comes to his back, shocking his entire system. Pan to Oikawa, the KING of insecurity and self-blame, a boy who loves volleyball more than himself, enough that he is leaving the entire continent for a chance to play, who is hitting as hard and quick as he can. His face is pulled into an intense, mutated form of mutation. He is being strong, in this moment, because he knows he can when Iwaizumi is falling. And he doesn't let Iwaizumi fall - he's slapping his back and saying, "You are strong, too."

The best example of the vice versa is the scene where Oikawa is moving to slap Kageyama, and Iwaizumi blocks it. He grabs his wrist and proceeds to head-butt Oikawa in the nose (likely breaking it). He tells Oikawa, in not so few words: "You are better than this. You are stronger than this." Because he saw Oikawa, who is stronger than strong, falter. And he's saying that there is no use in faltering when you can just as easily keep going. That is what defines IwaOi.

Weaknesses: And here we get the double-edged sword: their strong convictions are exactly what drives them apart. Yes, canon IwaOi makes me want to want to commit very violent atrocities against the general public. They believe in each other too much, but they also believe in their own dreams and aspirations just as hard. While Oikawa may be an absolute king in self-hatred and doubt, he never once gave up in his dreams. He never once backed down. He always ran, and ran, and ran, even when he had no gas left in the tank. And Iwaizumi was right there with him, following his own dreams and goals. They are among the most highly successful people in the Haikyuu timeskip, and for good reason. Their dreams, their convictions, took them far. But it took them far from each other. Never once did they live in the same continent as each other again after graduation. Oikawa went to Argentina to pursue his dream, his conviction, and Iwaizumi went to the United States to pursue his dream, his conviction. They believe in each other enough to let each other go. And they believe in their own dreams enough to risk everything to obtain them. That is what kills them.

I don't think it would take down their friendship. It doesn't, in canon, not really; but I don't know how likely a romantic relationship between them could work. They would have to strain for even their friendship, in reality; they would have periods of drifting, weeks where they don't talk. They make their way back to each other eventually, of course, but that is how life goes, how it is growing up when the people around you are gone. Everything that they love, everything that they own and desire, is away from each other. And I do not believe either of them would be willing to give their lives up, when they know the other is doing just fine on their own with their own dreams.

Klance (Keith Kogane/Lance McClain)

Strengths: Functionally, Klance works very similarly to SSKK, only less... violent... which makes them much more palatable and much less toxic. They are rivals-to-lovers; their greatest strength undoubtedly comes from the fact that they have seen each other at their worst, have torn into each other at their worst, yet care regardless. If you can love someone when they are mentally at their lowest, then that makes for a very strong, very fruitful relationship. Additionally, this would make them very aware when they've crossed a line and truly made each other upset. At the point of true friendship and relationship, their boundaries would be quite clear to each other. Even when they piss each other off, they can make it up just as fast. They've learned how to let bygones be bygones. They know what toxicity looks like, and they know what love looks like. They balance each other out very well, additionally. Literally fire to heat the ice-cold water, and water to cool the raging fire. The show truly robbed us of captain right-hand-man relationship between Keith and Lance (because Keith was terrible at being the Black Paladin, and the show hates us). The scenes we did get weren't really about their leadership. It could've been a wonderful opportunity, but, you know, whatever. Nobody said Voltron was any good, anyway.

Weaknesses: Communication HATES to see these bitches coming. Even though I said their boundaries would be quite clear, that's not from any sort of good communication. It takes them crossing the boundaries and pushing those buttons for those lines to be defined. They have such trouble listening and communicating their true wants and desires that it's actually migraine-inducing. When they do say what they want, it's laced in the wrong tone. When the other hears what the other wants, it's like it gets filed into the wrong compartment of the brain. No, they do not get into screaming matches everyday. It's the slight irritations that get them. They love each other, yes, but god are they shit at showing it.

KevNeil (Kevin Day/Neil Josten)

Strengths: Well, this is a little hard to word, so forgive me if I am not clear in what I am trying to say. But I will try my best. Neil is brazen. When he is faced with Riko, or with anyone mocking himself or his friends, he blows up like fuse. He literally can't stop himself. When he's on the court, however, or when he is subdued into a corner to talk about his traumas or his family, he isn't as brazen. He is far more willing to take abuse on court then he is in any other situation. When a question pops about his father or his scars, his mind shuts down and all he wants to do is run. Enter Kevin Day, who may claim media training as the reason he's able to keep his cool. But that's not the case, not really. When faced with Riko, or someone threatening him, he wants to run. He sits there, his hands shaking and his face paling. He can take that abuse; he'll let it absorb and he'll say nothing. But when he's on the court, or when he's asked a question by his friends about his family and scars, he takes it with stride. Court, he's a menace. When Seth dies, he does not care much, not really. Neil self-blames, while Kevin can only think about how this would affect the lineup. He shouts orders and demands the best and beyond of everyone. He's braze, in those situations. When someone questions him on his family, he doesn't mind much. It may sting, and it may hurt, but that is something he can handle with ease. He knows who he is and what he's worth when it comes to his past and his position on court.

You can see, then, why they fit so well for each other. They exude their strong, brazen personality traits onto the other. Out of all these ships, they have the most evidence to prove my point and show how well they work for each other. They grow so much in All for the Game because they rubbed off on each other, like colors bleeding into one another.

Weaknesses: They both are extremely one-track minded. Lord, I fear they would never try out anything new if it weren't for their friends pushing them to, I don't know, get a hobby. But this also means that they may push each other to extreme limits, beyond those limits, on accident. They would blow up on each other, because neither of them have the grace nor ruthlessness that Andrew has to solve problems. When Neil attempts to get Kevin sober, it falls through miserably, I would think. They like to go beyond their comfort zone, but when it comes to these problems, they have to realize that the subtle approach is better. In reference to my first point on their strengths, they truly bring out the best in each other. Neil's inability to shut his mouth makes Kevin finally stand up for himself in the ways that matter. He changes his tattoo because he sees how Neil brazenly tackles his abusers by hurling abuse in return. He sees how Neil embodies controversy and decides, fuck it, it shouldn't be so bad. Let's change my tattoo. So, when they try to actively tackle issues that the other may have, it simply wouldn't work. They would go at it until it falls through, and the needle more until they are literally forced into an alternative route.

Again, thanks so much for the ask! Hopefully this was satisfactory.

[anime-kia]

Sleeping Beauty (Part 2)

Omg! Yes it is finally here! 2 years later I present to you, part 2 to Sleeping Beauty! I'm actually so excited for this, it took me so long, but I feel like I'm prepared to write it and keep the style that I started with. So enjoy!

Warnings: Violence, Smut

Relationship: Soulmates - King Erik x Reader

Weeks passed since Erik's last encounter with your dormant frame. He was tense, pacing around the throne room with heavy steps. The Dora, tribe leaders and servants watched him quietly as he dominated the room with his vexed aura.

It's not that he didn't succeed in his plan to embed spies in every nation and distribute vibranium across the globe. It was that pesky panther nagging at him in his dreams every single night.

She appeared to him in the ancestral plane, perched on a tree. Erik stood below, dressed in nothing, but his gold fanged necklace.

N'Jadaka, why are you so hesitant?

Fari was her name.

"What you talkin' about?" He regarded her with no respect, the irritation laced in his tone.

Have we not guided you enough?

We... The ancestors? Erik assumed.

"Guided me?"

You are intelligent, N'Jadaka. Whether you choose to use your cleverness or not, it is up to you. The she-panther leaped off of the tree and circled around the man.

He watched her with his eyes, never moving from his place in the tall grass.

Listen to your heart.

Erik's eyes narrowed at Fari.

Ever since coming to Wakanda, Erik felt as though everyone was treating him like he was a naive child. Constantly they would give him cliché advice or try to alter his well-thought out plans. Erik knew what he was doing, he didn't need anyones outside opinions.

Just mere hours ago, he had awoken from his slumber. Heavy eyes and a cloudy mind. Erik felt ill despite the heart-shaped herbs enhancing abilities, but a weak mind makes a weak man.

In his previous dream, Fari mentioned that he appeared smaller as if the large man had lost mass.

Though he didn't want to admit it, his clothing fitting him loosely was more than enough proof. Even his weight lifting seemed more rigid than normal.

This ailment only began to occur since he stopped visiting you.

Erik decided to visit the king's personal doctor.

"My king, this is not much of a physical problem." She explained, shifting a braid behind her small ear. "Nor is it something I can fix."

His dark eyes narrowed at her, as he did to the she-panther.

"Ain't that your job?" Erik gibed at the doe-eyed doctor.

Ignoring him, she proceeds, "Have you been to the ancestral plane lately?" He only nods hesitantly. "Then that means you are near your soulmate and you must find her quickly."

"Or?"

"Or you both will perish." She explained in a soft tone, avoiding his eyes.

He couldn't believe his ears. The king wanted to think she was fooling him, as was the servant girl, Anathi. But as he could feel himself grow more weak, choices were limited in believing what was true or false.

"Who am I?" Erik asked the members of the room. His pacing stopped, back facing them.

The princess was not there to list every one of his titles as she did on their first encounter.

"Hm?" He turned around, arms crossed over his scarred chest.

Everyone was afraid to speak up, expecting him to lash out as he'd usually do.

"You are the king." W'Kabi spoke up proudly, his wife eyeing him callously.

He chuckled, "Then why do I feel like y'all still not getting it? I ask questions and I get bullshit responses."

"My king, we are being very honest with you." Anathi had voiced.

"Lying would be pointless and would not benefit anyone." An elder added.

"Y'all keep giving me the runaround. I ask about that girl, and you're telling me shit about a fairy tail?" The volume of his voice grew.

Some of the members had rolled their eyes in secrecy.

It always came down to the sleeping girl. Maybe it was time they encouraged him to see if he was the real connection.

"Would you like to try and awaken her, King N'Jadaka?" One of the elders suggested.

Okoye almost stepped out of line to dismiss the proposal, silencing herself as she realized that sacrificing her position in protecting Wakanda would've been a grave mistake.

She had made a promise to T'Challa prior to his battle, that no matter what, he could entrust her to protect you regardless of his outcome. But what could she really do now?

Besides, a man like him could never be the one for you.

Why are you still hesitating, N'Jadaka? Fari had questioned him again in his slumber. What is it that is holding you back?

"If I knew I would tell you." He frowned at her.

You have always been a man of action.

"You don't know nothing about me."

I know a lot more than you think, Young Prince.

"I'm not a prince, I'm a king."

Oh?

The panther appeared much taller than him, as did the tall grass. Her golden eyes shined brightly, rivalling the moon.

Erik looked onto himself, a much smaller frame appearing before his very eyes.

"What did you-" He held his neck, shocked at the pre-pubescent voice that came from his throat.

It is not what I did, N'Jadaka. She leaped back into the tree, resting her head onto her paws. Time is ticking, Young Prince.

Erik rose out of his sleep in a cold sweat, glancing into the mirror to check that he wasn't the eight-year old boy from Oakland, but the man who he grew to be.

The bathroom tile was cold underneath his bare feet, but the hot water soothed his tense muscles. Fari's words ran through his mind as the water cascaded down his large frame.

He shook his head and chucked, intentionally she had called him a child without words.

Sneaky panther...

"I ain't a fuckin' kid no more." Erik silently spoke to himself.

Erik waltzed into the garden where the heart-shaped herb once grew, now replaced with other greens and flowers. Anathi was tending to a patch of peace lilies along side her grandmother.

"Yo." He called out, their attention turning onto him.

Anathi raised from her dirtied knees, dusting them off. "My King?"

"Follow me." Erik commanded, turning on heel his immediately. I hope you're watching me now, Fari.

The young girl's feet shuffled quickly towards the king, not wanting to anger him as he'd been so tense lately.

The walk was silent, she carefully watched Erik in case he were to try anything. Their strolls usually consisted of him nagging her, but this time he remained silent, dark eyes focused on the corridor ahead of him.

She couldn't be at ease because it felt as though he was still on guard, but he hadn't even glanced at the girl since leaving the garden.

Anathi had recognized the path he'd taken, one that lead to the room located underneath the sunroof.

His hands rested on the handles, pausing before looking over his shoulder. "You said a kiss should work, right?"

"Y-yes, your highness." She nodded, hands clasped together.

"You do realize what'll happen if it fails." He threatened with a low voice, almost a snarl.

Anathi bit her lower lip before nodding once again, "Y-yes."

An amused sound silently came from his throat before pulling on the golden handles. It was always like a fresh of breath air once the doors opened. The air was so pure, feeling like a hug to his nostrils when he inhaled.

As Erik approached, his eyes fell onto your frame, too appearing smaller and slightly frail. This time, the palace servants had your curls styled into flat twists, pinned up into a bun. One of their daughters had crafted a flower crown and laid it around your head.

Anathi had remained outside, planning on her escape. This could be her chance to have a possible head start in case all failed.

Erik gently ran the back of his hand down your face, the beating in his heart increased, and that nagging feeling that he would compare to a raging sea became calm.

This would finally be the moment of truth...

His deft fingers lifted your chin, bringing your lips closer to his until they had finally touched together.

It felt... like... nothing?

Not exactly sure why, but Erik had expected a feeling of electricity to shoot through his body. He had expected his soulmate to spring awake, deepening the kiss to solidify the truth. But this was real life, not a damn fairy tail.

It wasn't magical nor did it feel like anything truly happened. Your body still felt lifeless, but the beating of your heart indicated otherwise. Not even a little sound indicating that you were soon going to awaken was given to him.

What Erik wanted, Erik never got.

That made the man very angry. He slowly released and departed from you, fiery eyes looking onto Anathi whose knees were visibly shaking.

It didn't work...

The only three words replaying through his head as he aggressively approached the servant girl, fingers digging into her shoulder. She silently winced, wishing that she had ran as she had planned earlier.

They must take me for a joke.

He summoned another meeting calling everyone in.

You want something to laugh at, oh imma fuckin' give it to y'all.

By time they had arrived to the throne room, all members were there, silently watching as he dragged the girl and tossed her to the centre of the floor.

Her grandmother helplessly watched, fearing for her grandchild's life.

"Y'all like to tell lies, huh? That apart of Wakandan culture?" He accused, arms folded over his chest. "Hm? You like to make niggas look like idiots?"

The members were quiet, uncertain of what had happened.

"She still asleep!" Erik shouted loudly, some of the members had jolted.

"M-my king, we did not say that you were the chosen one." A woman from the river tribe reasoned. "Only the one who is the chosen shall know."

Erik's eyes cut sharply onto the woman, "What?" He seethed.

Her hands squeezed onto the man beside her, as the look in his eyes were terrifying.

This pent up rage was both confusing and extremely concerning to everyone. This woman he had never met before had driven his emotions through the roof, even more so than T'Challa had done.

Calm down, N'Jadaka. Fari counselled in his mind.

The king was terribly angry. I'll show you calm.

"I think we need some new rules." He declared, nodding. "A lie for a life? I think that's fair."

Still silent, the members had looks of disapproval. Not that Erik was looking for an outside opinion, he was sick of being lied to and played around with. Maybe they could try that with T'Challa, but whatever he decided, it was finite.

Erik approached Anathi, lifting her from the cold ground in one hand. Her breathing was constricted as his grasp around her neck was tight.

Smaller hands beat on his with no avail, her consciousness slowly slipping further and further away.

"This is what y'all want?! Huh?!" Erik taunted the horrified and helpless members.

Would you really kill a child, Young Prince?

Shut the fuck up! He wanted to scream at Fari.

No longer was he going to allow her to treat him like a child.

Tears streamed down Anathi's puffy cheeks, rolling onto his hand and between each finger. Quiet cries came from her grandmother who was being consoled by those around her.

Erik callously watched the life force being drained from the girl.

"Stop!" A new voice had emerged into the air.

Audible gasps flooded the room, Erik too was caught off guard, releasing Anathi to fall onto the ground.

He turned around, knees almost buckling at the sight in front of him.

"She lives." Okoye rejoiced with a rare smile on her face.

You stood there, staring at the new man you had never seen before, but oddly enough it felt as if you had known him for a much longer time than reality said.

He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen, standing tall and strong. Though he had one of your best friends in a vice grip, it was almost impossible to be truly angry at him.

The astounded look in his eyes captivated you, drawing you closer and closer.

Only mere moments ago were his eyes filled with wrath, something that you would never see.

Who is he?

Erik had stared you down, feeling frozen in time as you drew closer to not him, but the girl on the ground.

"Anathi, ingaba ulungile (are you alright)?" Your hands gently touched the young girl, disturbed by the bruise forming around her neck.

"Uvukile (you are awake)." She hoarsely voiced in amazement.

It hadn't felt that long for you personally, but it certainly was for those who were still staring at you in complete shock.

You stood up to get a better look at the stranger who had almost taken the poor girl's life, and for what?

"Ungubani (who are you)?" You sternly inquired, poking at his chest sharply.

A spark had zapped you, both of you recoiling.

Erik had received that fairy tail shock he was initially expecting, but what no one else expected was the smile that grew on his face for the first time ever, a genuine one. 

"So you are my soulmate?"

"And you are mine." Erik said.

It took a lot of time for him to explain his initial reason for coming to Wakanda, and how he had not expected to find his soulmate locked away and trapped under a spell.

"If you are king, then that must mean-"

Erik nodded.

This would be the hard part to explain, but whatever happens, soulmate bonds were strong and could never be broken.

Processing your emotions over T'Challa's death was both confusing and hard. You wanted to be upset, you wanted to cry, you wanted to be mad, but none of the emotions came to pass. 

Sure it had been a long time since you fell under the spell, but you certainly did not expect your Prince Charming to also be the new ruler and murderer of King T'Challa.

Weeks passed and Erik had spent his time courting and getting to know you. It was all incredibly flattering, but alas, T'Challa still ran through your mind.

He was suppose to marry you, and you would give him an heir.

But all was changed once this American man had stepped his foot onto the Wakanda soil.

Erik slept soundly in the large canopy bed, his large arms wrapped behind his head. You remained awake, thinking about the previous king, the princess and the queen.

Vengeance.

You pondered, soulmate bonds cannot be permanent. If I sever his ties to the earth, I can be set free.

A knife laid tucked underneath the bed.

It was now or never.

Without leaving the bed, your hand slid against the marble floor, feeling for the weapon. The sharp edge pricked your index finger slightly indicating its location, so you raise it from the floor cautiously.

The man remained fast asleep, as peaceful as ever.

Your legs went on either side of Erik, careful not to sit down on him, the knife was pointed straight to his heart. Tiny droplets of blood dripped from your finger and onto his chest.

If I really love T'Challa I will do this for him. 

One breath in and the knife went down swiftly, eyes closed.

The problem was, there was no separation of tissue, no splatter of blood, no pained groaned.

Your eyes had opened, staring into the ones that captivated you earlier. They were void of anger or fear, but rather filled with bewilderment.

His much stronger hands squeezed arounds yours softly, holding the knife mere millimetres from penetrating his chest.

His hips bucked, flipping you over, knocking the knife away. The positions had switched as he was now on top, trapping your hands above your head.

"Y-you killed him!" The outburst had come from you, breaking the silence.

Immediately knowing who this was about, Erik explained. "It was ritual combat, he agreed to the conditions."

There was no resentment in his tone, it was so delicate and caring.

"I loved him."

"Yes, you loved him. But honestly tell me now, do you still love him?"

"I do." A fast response, with no chance to think. It was a lie.

"Then why do you lie in this bed with me?" He questioned, eyes peering deep into yours. "Why does my heart beat so calmly when you're around?"

"That is only you." You argued.

"Every time I touch you, I feel something." He placed his hand just above your bosom. "I know you feel it too."

You did, just then too. The way he was looking at you only made you want him even more.

But T'Challa...

An unresolved battle persisted in your mind.

"You're the reason I can't show you all I can give. You still holding onto the nigga who couldn't even wake you up, baby."

Bottom lip pulled between teeth, you tried to look away, but could not.

"Do you love him?"

As much as you wanted to scream yes, it wouldn't happen. It was a lie.

Was it fear? Uncertainty?

"Why you so hesitant, (y/n)?" Erik was surprised to find himself asking you the same question Fari had asked him all that time ago.

Your eyes had looked away, confronting the situation felt like betrayal to T'Challa.

"If you don't want me, tell me to leave."

You could not.

You wanted him, needed him to be here with you.

"I ain't believe it at first, but this soulmate shit is real..."

"But T'Challa-"

"Did nothing..."

You stared at the king silently, resisting him would be next to impossible. The glow of the moon enhancing his features beautifully.

"Ask me to leave." He demanded once again.

"I-I can't... I need you."

Three words Erik was delighted to hear.

Your head lifted to capture his lips between yours. Suddenly nothing mattered anymore. Erik spread your hands apart, wrapping his fingers between yours to deepen the kiss. Your head rested back against the plush comforter, tingles coursing through each body. He detached for air, giving you the chance as well before claiming your soft lips again. He came in hungrier, more passionate than the first time, unclasping his fingers from your left hand and raising your neck.

His thick lips latched onto your neck, sucking against the skin. The warm scent of vanilla filled his nose pleasantly, the taste sweet against his tongue.

Moans escaped your mouth as he precisely worked his lips around your frame. Now resting above your breasts, Erik gazes into your eyes for approval, in which you granted him.

The long silk garment was removed from your body, revealing a pair breast and erect nipples waiting to be licked. His large hand grasps the right as his head moves to the left, latching onto it hungrily.

Your fingers run over his head, holding them as he skillfully attended to your breasts. Soft moans filled his ears, encouraging him to continue.

He detached, sliding down even further where a wet patch had exposed you.

A smirk graced his lips as he pealed the blue panties away from your body.

Erik positioned himself between your thighs, bending your legs up and over to allow him better access to your dripping core.

He trailed kisses on each thigh before placing one onto your centre. A shiver coursed through your body as he increased the intensity with his tongue.

Experience wouldn't even be the best word to describe his precision.

The moans that were leaving your body were no longer quiet and sultry, rather loud and desperate. Your fingers grabbed his dreads as his tongue continued its assault onto your clit. The further Erik pushed his tongue in, the louder your volume grew.

Pressure continuously built up inside of your core, and shortly after, you had released onto him. There was a lot, nothing that you were expecting.

"Damn, baby." He marvelled with a wet jaw. Erik stood up to remove his bottoms.

The monster growing in his pants sprung free, bobbing slightly and menacingly at you.

But suddenly you had realized something.

I'm a virgin...

Erik noticed the change in your eyes, it appeared more like fear than anything. And not the 'there's no way it's gonna fit' fear.

"What's wrong?"

"I... I've never done this before."

He chuckled, grateful that he would be your first. "That ain't no problem. I got you, baby."

Shyly nodding, you lie back down with a shaky breath. His hands hook underneath your knees, bending them towards your chest. He lubricates his member against your folds before coating it with a hand.

He watched you, watching him. "Don't tense up on me."

You nod again, watching him move closer until it poked at your entrance. A sharp exhale left your mouth as he pushed in slightly.

"Just breathe, you good." Erik coaxes you. Your hands find the bedsheets, nails digging firmly into them.

His member breached even deeper, causing a pained sound to leave your lips. He slows down, giving you time to adjust.

"O-okay, go." You stuttered, allowing him to fit the rest in.

He pressed down slowly but firmly, letting out a moan of his own.

"This shit so tight." He groaned in pleasure, bitting his lower lip.

Ocne he had bottomed, a spark coursed through both his and your veins. It felt as though an even deeper connection had been made, solidifying the meaning of soulmate bonds.

Erik's hips moved backward, removing some of the pressure off of your cervix, but it came back as soon as he moved again.

"Ungh- shit." You winced, trying to manage the strokes.

He continued a slow pace, just for you to adjust. It wasn't going to be a purely pleasurable experience, especially not for the first time, but it wasn't all painful either.

When you finally relaxed his pace increased, thrusts moving more efficiently in and out of you.

"N'Jadaka, ohhh!" You whimpered, eyes shut, body bouncing underneath him.

He admired you underneath the moonlight. Eyes closed, eyebrows narrowed, mouth ajar. The moans, your voice, all so pleasing to him.

She is beautiful.

His lips moved back onto your neck as he forced his hips against yours. Juices mixing with each other, adding to the sounds of heavy breathing and moaning.

Erik had you in multiple positions, each one causing a different sensation. He had you flat on your stomach, his feet planted on the ground, Erik had sloppily thrusted into you until the both of your climaxes were achieved.

Tears rested on your cheek, air flowed in and out heavily as your tried to catch your breath. Sore, but very satisfied.

He pulled you against his body. Sweat moistened your skins, and despite your fatigue, Erik looked ready for another round.

Had to be the effects of the heart-shaped herb.

The intense feeling in each body had finally settled steadily, a deeper connection had been formed and you both knew for certain that soulmate bonds were real. A man who came and caused an uproar brought both dark and light onto the Wakandan nation.

He brought your knuckles against his lips. "My queen, I am yours and you are mine."

"My king, and my soulmate." You contently responded, awaiting all that was to come in the near future.

I am so happy I finally finished part 2 (the final part) to Sleeping Beauty. It's literally been 2 years LOL!

I hope you enjoyed, especially for those who requested!

(Start/Finish: March 31 - April 1, 2020)

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

See The Road You're On (Joel's Version)

A moodboard, 300 word drabble, and playlist celebrating Chapter 1 of Elks.

(Thanks to @jennaispunk for looking this over and @saradika-graphics for the headers.)

His heart beats with an unfamiliar feeling as he watches you hobble down the road, too proud to glance back, obviously too embarrassed for your own good. If only you knew how often he thinks about you, how closely he listens to Ellie when she talks about you, how many times he’s replayed that old mixed CD of yours with your name and the pretty faded flowers drawn on it… maybe then you’d look back at him. 

You fell in front of his home like an angel falling from the sky. He picked you up and bandaged your wounds. Today, you gave him a purpose, he loves having a purpose. Some days he feels that purpose dwindling behind the protective gates of Jackson. Ellie’s growing up, she doesn’t need him as much, what with all of her friends and teenage responsibilities. She’s thriving here, and he’s left feeling adrift. He’d never admit it, not even to Tommy. At least there’s always patrol and the freedom that provides him. Maybe he just needs more of a purpose, more of a reason here, maybe then he’d be satisfied. 

He steps back into his home, glancing at the couch you were just sitting on, before retreating to his studio. He unwraps his tools and picks up the perfect block of wood. Running his fingers over the smooth surface, he envisions the intricate lines he’ll carve for the fur, he feels a whisper of intimidation at the thought of shaping the delicate antlers.

Woodworking has been a new discovery for him, he’s always been better at settling his thoughts when his hands are occupied. He thinks of the first time he saw you all those months ago when he makes his first deliberate cut. 

Chapter 1 playlist and song reasonings behind cut. (AKA I just talk about music.)

“Caring Is Creepy” by The Shins opens up the whole story… I love the lyrics I chose for reader to hear before everything goes to shit. 

“Myth” by Beach House has been the song that has constantly stayed in my mind while writing these two characters, so it’s fitting that the chapter title comes from this song. Every Elks chapter title is taken from a song, because as any good fic author would tell you… song lyrics make great titles.

“Pitter Patter Goes My Heart” by Broken Social Scene is an instrumental but I got the thought of Joel walking out of the schoolhouse at the end of the chapter, his heart pitter patters against his chest when he realizes that reader is someone he might just want around. 

“Holding On” by War On Drugs might be one of the most Joel Miller songs ever. The lyrics deal with holding onto the memory of someone. Is an old memory just another way of saying goodbye?

“Slow Burn” by Kacey Musgraves reminds me of something my reader would write, plus I think the title says it all. 

“Second Nature” by Clairo plays to me like a “I have a huge crush on this person” song and LORD KNOWS that reader has been harnessing a crush on Joel for months. My train of thought destroyed.

“Sinking” by Clairo, yes, another Clairo song. If “Holding On” is Joel’s song, “Sinking” is reader’s song. Every night think of things I can’t do or haven’t done. And does it make me weak?

See you on Monday for chapter 2! 💕

Tag list! Let me know if you’d like to be removed or added.

@ohheypedrito, @magpiepills, @secretelephanttattoo, @goodwithcheese, @copperhalfcent

@yopossum, @burntheedges, @noisynightmarepoetry, @moel-jiller, @tinytinymenace

@sawymredfox, @bardot49, @maggiemayhemnj, @jolapeno, @chrysochromulina @vickie5446

See The Road You're On

Elks Chapter 1 Version 2.0

Pairing: Jackson Joel Miller x Female Reader Chapter Rating: T. (Nothing explicit for the first few chapters.) Chapter Summary: The man you've had a crush on since he showed up to Jackson just so happens to be your favorite student's caretaker.. and he just saw you do a brutal face plant in front of his home. Chapter Warnings: soft jackson joel, outbreak and quarantine zone memories, ellie has a smart mouth, anxious reader, mentions of blood and an injury from falling, everyone lives happily ever after, joel and ellie don’t leave jackson, early 2000’s indie rock Words: 5,500 Header courtesy of @saradika-graphics

Next Chapter

Masterlist Playlist “Caring Is Creepy” - The Shins

The world ended the day after you bought your homecoming dress. You begged your mom for it–a beautiful deep forest green sequined sweetheart a-line gown–the neckline perfectly showed off your prized gold daisy pendant. You felt like a princess, life couldn’t have been better. Your alarm buzzed on the morning of September 26, 2003, the only worry floating around your teenage head was the grade you’d receive on your essay about René Magritte for AP English. While walking home after a typical boring high school day with your guitar slung across your back and headphones on, little did you know you were hearing the final lyrics before everything changed:

“Hold your glass up, hold it in Never betray the way you’ve always known it is One day, I’ll be wondering how I got so old, just wondering how”

Twenty years later, hardened by life in the Denver Quarantine Zone and gently softened by your now comfortable life in Jackson, you’re still waiting for your first dance.

Art and music have always been at the forefront of your life; you’ve never allowed anything to take away your creativity. Continuing to create no matter how much pain the reality of losing everyone you’ve loved to the plague roaming the earth brought you. You create for yourself using art as a way to soothe your thoughts and anxieties, you create for the Settlement of Jackson to give back to the town that has given you a good life for the past five years, and most importantly you create for your students at the school you’ve taught at since your arrival. 

The fifteen years spent in the Denver QZ tried to steal your colors and mute your songs, joy became more difficult to find as each year behind the giant iron gates passed. The only sources of happiness were supplied by your small group of friends and your students in the desolate school you taught at. You never graduated high school, there was no pomp and circumstance, just a teaching job assigned to you because you were young and still remembered most of your high school education. That’s how your career was decided, funny how an apocalypse job search happens.

You tried to carve out as much of a life as you could under the overbearing and always watchful eyes of FEDRA soldiers, but it never felt whole. When the opportunity to leave Denver arrived thanks to your kind neighbor’s sister, you grabbed the few items you could and ran away from the only state you ever called home. Now, five years after your escape through the wasteland of the world to a better existence in Jackson, your life is now filled with art, music and purpose. Art supplied by the jars of paints you learned to make and what the patrollers bring you back. Music from the CD player in your house and the guitar you strum. Purpose from the weekdays spent teaching your impressionable students with actual well-rounded futures no longer doomed to become FEDRA fodder, along with the Saturdays spent working at the library you run out of your classroom. It's a good and comfortable life here, even if the nights are lonely and the only company you have in your small cottage are your cats Ripley and Penny. Some extra lonely nights, when the moon sits high atop the mountains, you can’t silence the thoughts that there’s nobody in your life who creates beautiful things for you. Too many nights you find yourself thinking about the man that lives down the street from you… Joel Miller. 

He’s so intimidating, handsome and caged off, akin to an art piece you’d pay admission to be able to stand near. Your own little museum piece you keep to yourself now that museums are obsolete. You’ve never seen anybody more gorgeous… not even in the faded celebrity magazines you cut up to make collages and art out of. Soft and full lips always hidden under a frowning mustache that rests below a large hooked nose. His dark brown eyes often focused forward, always looking in thought underneath furrowed brows. Wavy hair that matches his eye hue with soft silver streaks painted throughout. His body is strong and broad, often hidden underneath a tan flannel lined jacket. He’s tall and big–so big–somebody who has always been a protector. His hands are also large to match the rest of his features with thick fingers that sit capable and dexterous… you can tell they’re efficient for any task you ask of them. His skin is golden, born that way and bronzed by years spent outdoors. The precious pages of your notebook quickly deplete when you try to sketch and master the lines of his face. Maybe you could get the minute details if only you could stop being so afraid of the feelings he stirs inside of you.  

You’ve been enamored with him since he first showed up to Jackson– your life, and all of those feelings you’ve tried to avoid for years– upended by his presence. 

It was a normal day, like any other, when you walked into the Tipsy Bison to drop off some extra shoelaces and push pins for the community swap basket. Your eyes paused at the long communal table where your friends Maria and Tommy were seated with two strangers. A small teenage girl with a tight pony tail and a tattered sweatshirt was talking animatedly with her mouth full. You know kids well after all your years of teaching, you could already spot her tenacity across the room. Sitting next to her bent over a plate of food untamely clutching a fork was a man with a mess of graying hair and a permanent scowl plastered on his handsome face. You noted his strong jaw as he chewed his food, his eyes stared straight forward void of kindness, you wondered when the last time somebody created something beautiful for him. He was the most handsome man you’d ever seen– so intimidatingly sized even in his seated and hunched stature. You quickly flitted over to the corner where the communal basket sat and deposited your items before turning around to head back to your home when you noticed the handsome stranger looking right at you. His eyes darted away right as your eyes widened at his focus before you made your hasty retreat out of the tense room. That night you wrote a song about a once warm and inviting cabin sitting in the woods now cold and desolate with tattered floor boards and a cracked window.

The girl you saw at the Bison with the handsome stranger showed up in your class the next week. Ellie quickly became your favorite student thanks to her love of art and her smart mouth. She’s always so eager to learn in the mornings before heading out with the other older kids for patrol and community training. She doesn’t shut up about your handsome stranger, he’s Joel, Texas born and raised, he’s grumpy, and he loves coffee. He’s not her father, but he’s her protector, everything she tells you makes you think about him more. 

Sometimes you’ll see him walking down the road headed right towards you, a quick tuck of your head down or dash around the nearest corner helps alleviate the panic of being near him. One night you see him with Tommy at the Tipsy Bison in the corner drinking whiskey, your eyes stared unblinking before you realized how anyone could look over and see the way you’re ogling, you quickly created a reason to your friends why you needed to head home, to overwhelmed by his presence just a couple of rows down. Seeing him stirs up so many foreign emotions inside of you, but you like the rush. You like having your little crush, as long as you can keep your distance from him.

“Jeez, what were they thinking when they named these bands? The Shins? The Strokes? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs? Did every band just pick a random word and put The in front of it?” Ellie questions as she peruses your CD collection while you grade papers. With training for the older students canceled due to the winter snow outside, Ellie decided that you needed company in your classroom after school.

“Seems like it, doesn’t it?” you answer. “I’ll have to play them for you one day, those were some of my favorite bands when I was your age.”

“Really? Wicked! I’d love that!” she looks up from your CD book with an enthusiastic smile. You return her smile, happy for the bond the two of you share. “Joel loves music too, wonder if he’d like any of these.” Your pen pauses and your heart rate increases at the mention of his name, you feel foolish for the crush you have on your student’s “father.” 

“I’m sure there’s something in there for everyone,” you say, stacking your papers and capping your pen. “I think we should get going, before the sun sets, El. I’ll lock up.” 

“Aw man, there’s nothing to do at home,” she sighs. 

“Sorry kid,” you shrug. “I’m helping Helen at the Bison tonight and I need to eat dinner beforehand.” 

“Fiiiiiine, thanks for letting me hang with you, this was really fun,” she says as she grabs her backpack and jacket. “Bye Teach!”

Watching her leave, the thought plants in your head that she’s only a couple years younger than the age you were when the outbreak happened. 

The world thaws when winter turns to spring, the sun stays up longer allowing patrollers a better chance to scavenge and bring their finds back. The wish list posted above the communal basket in the Tipsy Bison is filled with requests. Residents ask for a broom, a TV input cable, a glue gun, crayons, and other utilitarian items to help make life easier. You think about writing down the one thing you wish for the most, a new CD player. Your prized possession finally spun its last song a couple days ago making your home fall silent without your constant companion of music. The irony isn’t lost on you that your just as ancient guitar now lays silent against the wall, the crack on the neck finally broke from overuse. You don’t write down your main wish, instead choosing to note that the school needs chalk and you need a new oven mitt. 

“Thought I told you not to touch my stereo kid,” the deep timbre of a Texas accented voice shocks you. Your heart begins to thud against your chest while goosebumps spread along your body; you’re frozen on the floor while you attempt to hide your internal panic. Joel is home. Of course he’s home, this is HIS home and you’re in it breaking HIS rules listening to your favorite mixed CD on HIS stereo system that’s much grander than your pitiful broken CD player. Why did you think letting YOUR STUDENT who’s half your age convince you this was a good idea?

“I know, relax! I’m being active in the community like you asked me to,” Ellie’s response drips with her unshakeable sarcasm. 

Your head turns to find his deep brown eyes boring right into you, he gives you a half smile as you stare back at him, mouth slightly agape. Joel Miller is in Joel Miller’s house with you. 

“This is the teacher I told you about, her stereo broke and I know how important music is to her–kinda like how it is to you. I invited her over so she could play me some of her stuff,” Ellie reasons. The kid is never not convincing. 

You quickly stuff your CD case into your backpack and stand, trying to escape the anxiety of being here in the cozy Miller household with the not-so-cozy-looking Mr. Miller. 

“Mm,” Joel grunts out before turning to you and reaching his hand out. “I‘m Joel.” His big hand envelops yours when you softly grab it to say hello. 

You nervously give him your name, trying to calm your panicked heart. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries... I-I really appreciate her offering to help me. My stereo broke a couple days ago and she knew it upset me.” You nervously stammer feeling like a thirteen year old in trouble again as you begin to fiddle with the gold daisy chain around your neck.

“Don’t worry about it,” he urges before looking at Ellie, “I can look past this if it means means you’re getting out of that damn garage.” 

Ellie rolls her eyes, you wonder if every conversation they have is Joel putting a rule down and Ellie breaking it. “She has way better music taste than you have old man. None of that twangy sad music you try to get me to listen to.”

You start to feel antsy as Joel crowds the small space around you. 

“I-I have to head out, I promised Helen I’d help her at the Tipsy Bison.” You’re not due for another hour but you can’t fathom the idea of being unwelcome in Joel’s house.

“Oh, okay. Well, you’re welcome back whenever you want… right Joel?” Ellie looks at him, angling her eyebrow, knowing she’s going to get the answer she wants from him. 

“Uh— of course. S’pose any friend of Ellie’s is welcome here,” Joel hesitates with a smile, his deep brown eyes crinkle in the corners. He’s ridiculously handsome this close, it’s staggering. 

“Thank you again Ellie, I’ll see you tomorrow, make sure you bring your notebook,” you say, turning to walk out the door. 

You rush home, hoping the distinct woodsy smell of Joel’s house on your clothes will linger for a while. You almost trip when you realize you’ve left your favorite mixed CD in Joel’s stereo.

Weeks pass, and the weather gets warmer. Spring is in the air, the trees are covered in bright green leaves, flowers bloom along the vast gardens of fruits and vegetables, everyone’s days turn longer with more tasks to accomplish. There’s always a hopeful breeze in the air for everyone, no longer bunkered down and locked away by the snowy weather. 

Your mixed CD is now a victim of your inability to be anywhere near Joel. Either Ellie decided to keep it for herself, or Joel's decided for you that you don't want it back, especially since you obviously crossed a line. In an odd way, it’s actually a nice feeling, kind of like old times when you'd forget a CD in your friend's car or in your locker over winter break.  It's not like you have anything to play it on, your house is still silent, save for the purring of your cats or whatever song you can remember to hum to yourself. 

It's a warmer day than usual, the sun shines bright and hot in the clear blue sky; all you can think about is getting home and taking a long bath after helping out at the community garden. Your hurried footsteps pitter patter against the warm asphalt in front of Joel’s house. Your heart always begins to race as it comes into view, once in a while you'll get to steal a glance of him leaving for patrol at the same time you're heading to school– those are good mornings. This sweltering afternoon you’ve certainly lucked out, he’s in his yard working on repairing a broken fence post. Your steps begin to slow as you see him set the hammer down, wipe the back of his hand across his sweaty brow, and stretch his back. Panic sets in at the realization he could look right over and see you in the state you’re currently in. You’ve been up to your knees in soil since school ended, watering and deadheading plants while letting the dirt on your skin bake in the warm sun. Your anxious steps pick up pace, failing to hop over the divot in the road you always remember to avoid. A trip and a fall ends with you landing hard on your stomach knocking the wind out of you. You can just make out the fall of heavy boot steps on the ground over the sound of your lungs gasping for air as you turn over.

“Whoa whoa whoa, you okay darlin’?” Joel asks. His broad body eclipses the bright sun when he bends over your body splayed out on the pavement. “S’alright, s’alright, breathe.” 

You lose even more breath at the sight of him. The sheen of sweat against his skin makes it glow bright. This is the first time you’ve seen him without a jacket or flannel, there’s a constellation of freckles on his neck you’ve never noticed. His biceps strain the fabric of his short sleeves when he reaches to put a comforting hand on your shoulder. You can’t tell if you’re still panicking from your fall or the stress of Joel seeing you as pathetic as you think you look. He called you darling and you feel like a fool. 

“I’m okay–I-I’m sorry…. I’m okay,” gasps out between breaths. You whimper from pain as you attempt to stand but it hurts far too much. 

“Hold on, hold on, there’s no need to rush, you took a mighty fall. Ya’ got a big cut on your knee, let me help you,” Joel’s eyes roam you under brows wrinkled with concern. 

“No, no, I’m okay really, I-I’m really okay,” you try to calmly assert, losing terribly against your rising embarrassment. 

“S’alright now, I have some peroxide and bandages in my house, Ellie’d kill me if she knew I left you injured,” he implores reaching his hand out. "I want to help you, come here."

“I– okay,” you grab his hand, his strong fingers wrap around yours, oh god he’s so warm, “I-I don’t want to bother you.”

“Now, I’ll have none ‘a that, come on,” he helps you stand steadying you with an arm around your waist, the adrenaline of being this close to him makes a bit of the pain fade, though the humiliation remains. 

He slowly leads you up his walkway, his hand lays splayed against your hip holding you tight. Your head rests against him close enough to feel the dampness of his sweaty shirt against your cheek.

He leads you into his house, the realization isn’t lost on you that this is now the second time you’ve been inside his home. Both times you’ve felt like an idiot. What is your luck?

You slowly sit down on his couch, Joel gently helps you settle against the cushions before placing a pillow behind your back for support. "You alright?” he asks, his voice drags heavily with concern. You nod, keeping your eyes focused on your bare legs, marred by dirt and gravel mixed with blood. “Just relax for a second, I’ll go grab everything." He retreats, his loud boot steps get fainter allowing you to take a deep breath and attempt to center yourself. 

The last time you were in Joel’s home you were far too anxious to focus on anything besides Ellie and the music coming out of the stereo. Solitude now allows a chance to look closely at Joel’s living room; for somebody with so many stories swirling around town about his gruffness and irritability, his home sure is warm and inviting. Wood carvings sit on shelves, a couple of tattered sports magazines lay on the coffee table, a chipped owl mug sits atop a book on the side table next to a chair. All of it presents quite domestic and comfortable for a single man and an adopted daughter in the apocalypse. Your eyes roam along the beige walls and pause when you spot a familiar painting hung near the front window. An elk stands alone, amongst a field of flowers, large antlers reach into the light blue sky. You painted it just a few months ago, using your favorite water colors. You gave it to Tommy for Christmas, as a thank you for always making sure you have first dibs of paints that patrollers bring in. Why does Joel have it?

“Don’t have any large bandages but I got a gauze roll,” Joel startles as he takes a seat atop the coffee table across from you. 

“That’s my painting? I painted that… for Tommy,” your inner thoughts escape your mouth, surprising you.

He turns and follows your eyes to the small piece of paper pinned on his wall. “You painted that? S’good. Saw it on my brother’s wall and asked him if I could have it, he was kinda reluctant but I told him how it reminds me of the painting I used to have over my bed before… everything.” The last word comes out as a huff, like he still doesn't know what word to use for these last twenty years.

“I love elks, they remind me of where I’m from… I’ve always liked painting the wildlife I grew up around the most,” your eyes remain focused on your painting. “Herds of elk used to live near my Dad’s home in the mountains, I used to hear their calls during the mating season.” 

“S’nice to remember those small moments, I guess your painting helps me,” he gently muses. 

“I’m glad,” you whisper.

Joel delicately lifts your leg up and places it on his lap, resting it against the soft strength of his thighs. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest when you look down at this intimate moment with your dream man. Your breaths escape your mouth in rapid succession, your only hope is Joel blames your panic on the threat of the peroxide and not his close proximity. 

“S’gonna sting,” he warns before pouring the clear liquid onto your knee. Your breath catches in your throat when it hits your sensitive skin and burns. You suppress a whimper and feel slightly dizzy at the sight of him bending forward and delicately blowing on your wound. His breath cools the heat of your burning skin but lights a fire inside of your body you haven’t felt in years.  He glances up, his dark brown eyes stay focused on your face. “Doin’ alright?” 

You nervously chew on your bottom lip and nod. “Y-yes, yeah,” you mumble, “I-I’m okay it just hurts a lot to move.” Heaven forbid you tell him the truth, that you’re acting this way because he’s the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen, and now his hands are on you.

"I know, that gravel is a sucker," he gently reassures, picking up your other leg and placing it on top of his lap. “S’bouta sting again,” he warns. 

You try to focus on the burn of the peroxide and not on Joel’s fingertips resting against the back of your knee. He blows on the peroxide as it bubbles again, your heart skips a beat when his deep brown eyes meet yours again. You get the sense that he knows exactly why you’re responding the way you are. 

He lifts a faded gray wash cloth up and wipes both of your knees with the utmost tenderness. He picks up the fabric bandage, and lifts your knee higher to rest your foot against his broad chest. 

“Place a finger here so I can wrap you,” Joel directs just as gently as his touch, “let me know if it’s too stiff for you.” His hand tightens around your knee as he slowly unravels the gauze around your leg and bandages your wound. “How’s that?” 

You bend your leg back and forth and place it on the floor. “Feels good, thanks.”

“Course,” he says, lifting your other leg higher to start. He smirks when you place your finger on top of the bandage without him asking, and begins to wrap the gauze around your other leg. 

“I’d try to take it easy the next few days, give you a chance to heal,” Joel utters, tucking the bandage in and smoothing it down. 

“I will. Thanks for all your help… you really didn’t have to,” your voice cracks in embarrassment. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Ellie’d kill me if she found out I left you hurt in front of my home,” he cracks a smile at the mention of her name. “She talks about you a lot, I should be thanking you for giving her a reason to love goin’ to school.”

“She’s one of the best parts of my day,” your smile matches his when you think about her smart mouth, “I love having her around, she’s always so eager to learn and give her opinion."

“She's always showing me some new art way she learned from you or talking about a band she wants to hear that you told her about. You mean a lot to her.”

“She’s a special kid.”

“She is,” he says, his deep brown eyes look into yours. You’ve never noticed just how much his dark eyes glisten. Like the perfect color of black coffee. 

The sweet shared moment turns more awkward as you both maintain eye contact and nod over your shared adoration of Ellie. It feels like he’s looking at you under a microscope.

You cut the tension and softly clear your throat before slowly rising from the couch. “Well, I should get going, I’ve already taken up enough of your time. I really appreciate everything.”

“S’no problem at all,” he quickly stands and places a steadying hand on your back before leading you to the door and down his walkway.

You spy his tools laying abandoned and strewn across the lawn. “I hope I didn’t keep you from finishing your fence,” you apologize.

“I’ll manage… take care of yourself,” his hand retreats from your back when he opens the gate for you. 

“Thanks Joel, you too.” You really shouldn’t have looked back at him to get one last glimpse, he’s beautiful, especially now lit by the slowly setting sun. 

Walking away from him as confidently as you can, you feel his eyes follow you the whole way. You’ve never been so thankful to see your little cottage, escaping behind the protection of your front door before you grin and grab your paints and brushes. That night you paint another photo of an elk, this time with golden toned fur and deep brown eyes. 

Saturday mornings are always busy, running your library never allows you the luxury to eat pancakes at the hall like everyone else on the weekends. You’re always turning to the left rushing towards the schoolhouse while everyone takes a right heading to eggs, pancakes, and coffee. This particular Saturday you’re moving slower thanks to your injured knees and the large box of books patrol brought you from their runs. 

“Mornin’," Joel shouts, quickly striding towards you from the hall exit. “Lemme take those for you.” 

“Oh, hi,” you pause in your tracks when he stops in front of you and grabs the box out of your hands. “You really don’t have to take–"

“None ‘a that,” he shushes, effortlessly lifting the box of books higher. "Where are we going with these?"

"Just over to the school house for the library," you nod your head towards the little brick building.

“How are the knees doing?” he asks, slowing his gait to match your slower pace.

“A lot better, thanks.”

“Glad to hear.” 

You fish the key out of your pocket, unlock the door, and let Joel follow you down the hallway to your classroom. You flick the lights on, fluorescent bulbs buzz illuminating your second home. 

You sit in your chair to rest your already aching knees, you’d still be halfway to the schoolhouse if it wasn’t for Joel’s kind assistance. 

“You can put the box on my desk,” you direct, rubbing your sore knee. 

He places the box on your desk before his eyes focus on the bright mural on the wall behind your desk. “Wow, I haven’t seen something like this in a long time. S’beautiful,” he breathes out incredulously. 

A grin lifts your tired face before you swivel in your chair to look at the mural. “Goodness, thank you. I just finished it a couple of weeks ago. I really wanted to make sure the kids had something fun and colorful to focus on while in class. It was hard for me to work in this plain, white room for so long. It took a long time to save up enough paint.” 

He slowly walks over and places his hand on the cold cinder block wall. “Bluebells. The flower of Texas,” he faintly whispers.

His large fingers trace the outlines of your painted indigo petals, you feel like you shouldn’t be allowed to see this type of gentle tenderness coming out of such hard and strong hands. He delicately touched you like this when he bandaged your knees. There was once softness surrounding all of Joel, the permanent grimace and rough reputation for him brought on by the harshness of existing in this world. 

He turns to you, keeping his hand on your mural. “Where you from?” he asks, curiously gazing into your eyes.

“I was in the Denver QZ.”

“No, where were you from before everything?”

“Oh, sorry. Still Colorado, just more in the mountains,” you say, concentrating on the columbine flower next to the bluebell. “Florissant to be exact. It’s a little town famous for dinosaurs. My students, especially Ellie, love to hear all about dinosaurs. I was very lucky to be where I was when everything–happened–just far enough to escape.”

“Nice state, I went skiing there once as a teen, had plans to go again before… everything,” he turns to look back at the bluebells again.

“Big of a Texan to compliment Colorado,” you jest, standing up and grabbing the library supplies from your desk.

He chuckles with a shake of his head. “Good one. Did y’know you forgot your CD at my house?” 

“I did, sorry about that. I figured Ellie just decided to keep it for herself. I don't mind, not like I have anything to play it on right now,” your voice drops thinking about how long it’s been since you’ve heard your favorite songs.

You begin to place down your hand painted placards on the tables. 

He walks over and picks one of the cards up and admires it. “Can I help you?”

“If you want, just pick up a pile of books and put them on their respective tables. Children’s, Mystery, Romance, Non-Fiction, Sci-Fi, Miscellaneous.” 

He dutifully picks up a stack of books. “You do this by yourself?”

“Usually, I sometimes have help but I think everyone here works so hard during the week they like their slow Saturdays, I can’t ask them to give up sleeping in.” 

“Sleeping in, must be nice. Can’t do such a thing. Ellie would sleep all day if I allowed her.”

“You’re right,” you say, squeezing by him to grab a pile of books. “Must be nice.”

He holds up a thick paperback with yellow pages and a burgundy cover, a muscled, orange toned man with long blonde hair holds a wispy brunette damsel. “I take it with a title like ‘Burning Tenderness’ it goes in romance?” Joel winks. You’d never imagine you would ever see someone like him joke.  

“Well, I’d fire you on the spot if you placed it in non-fiction.”

His bellowing laugh echoes across your classroom. You like hearing him laugh. 

The library is set up a half hour before opening thanks to yours and Joel’s expeditious work.

You take a seat on the edge of your desk to rest your knees.  “I’ve never gotten done this early before. Between your help earlier this week and today I feel like I owe you something. Is there any way I could repay you for your kindness?” 

He sighs, glancing back at your mural. “Those bluebells you painted,” he inhales a large breath, “do you think you could paint some of those for me in my house?” 

“Oh my, I’d love to,” your face lights with a smile. You can’t believe he’s asking this of you. “I can start it anytime.”

“D’you want to come over Monday after you’re done at the school? I told Ellie I’d spend the day with her tomorrow.” 

“That sounds great,” you reply, not believing your luck that Joel Miller is inviting you over to his house.

“Great. Should probably head out and start my day. Taking this as payment for my work today,” he says holding up a book.

“‘As I Lay Dying?’ Didn’t pin you as a Faulkner fan,” you muse, opening your logbook to note the title down.

“Liked the horse on the cover.” 

“You’re so Texas. It’s a good book, enjoy it Joel.”

“See you Monday. Good luck today.” 

“Yes, Monday,” you respond, trying not to smile too hard. “Thanks again for all your help.”

“Course,” he nods before walking out the door. 

Today’s going to be a great day, it already started out better than you ever could have hoped.

Back home after a busy day you sit in your favorite chair with your cats on your lap and sketch bluebells until you fall asleep with your pencil in hand.

[skins-california]

Boy, it’s been awhile since I stepped in here.I only step in here because I’ve come to the realization that I need to step away from all social media apps and delete them. I should probably delete them for good, the irony resorting to tumblr lmao.

I’m turning 27 this year.

I’ve made a lot of great accomplishments these last few years but I also endured so much. I don’t give myself enough credit for all the hard work and commitment I’ve put into myself, my relationship, and with my family.

I finally got a car under my own name and I just finished my first year paying it off. I got an apartment with my girlfriend and we just hit our 1 year living together, paying bills and all that adult life stuff. It was hard sometimes but never to the point we thought we wouldn’t make rent and always kept each other secure. When I step back and take a moment to let that sink in, it’s really nice. I stepped it up with my work and got into a manager role. I hate my fucking job though, also adds to the stress and bullshit I go through everyday but the fact I’ve changed into this person to commit to that role I need to give myself way more fucking credit for that.

Moving out of the bay has been the best decision I’ve made and I love it. But I hate the commute, and this is where it all falls hard on me. I get stuck feeling I’m at a dead end with my job cause I know how hard it will be to find a job that would match my salary out here where I live now without some degree or school under my belt. But I’m staying strong because the amount of effort and life I’ve built to live more comfortable cannot go to nothing. I’m working hard to find a moment to take a break from work and do my nursing program. Or even just CNA.

I feel like I can list so much good things I’m happy and grateful for my life yet I’m always finding myself buried underneath and feeling so stressed that I cannot have a normal day without panic disorder. And most of the time , it’s for no reason at all and I’m feeling so helpless. I’m starting to hate that Lani has to see me go through this. It’s not fun, I hate feeling like I’m bringing the both of us down. But no matter what’, she sticks by me and I’m so thankful to be loved and cared for.

Being diagnosed with severe depression on top of my severe anxiety was pretty unexpected but I guess I’m not so surprised. Then I wonder what’s leading me to this? I’m blaming social media as a big factor among other things. I know it’s important to be woke but I know for a fact , every news I hear and my heart feels their pain is starting to kill me mentally, drain me mentally. I’m constantly in a war with my mind and I feel like I’m losing. I refuse to keep feeling like this and I’m glad to took the steps to get treatment for it again. I really can’t wait for the meds to help me get through a day feeling normal again.

Every time I see myself level up, the work and the pain just gets harder. I get stressed so easily, I know I’m working too damn hard. I have been working 6 days a week nearly since October of last year. And I didn’t think losing two pets would fuck me up so hard but it did and no one around me comforts that besides Lani. I don’t expect them to. But I didn’t think how hard it would be to cope through the days and it’s been so hard.

It’s hard cause watching whiskey die was watching my mom’s heart get broken all over again. No one wants to see their mom cry like that. It hurts me to see my mothers routine gone, worse that she found him pass in his sleep. And that was my first dog, I watched him grow old and I will never forgive myself cause I feel like I’m to blame for his death. I’m convinced I gave him a heart attack for getting that excited the night before and all of a sudden he looked so weak. Not even 2 minutes apart, I know in reality it can’t be my fault. None of us knew it was coming; but still I cannot help but feel that way. Losing a pet just is a ugly type of sad because this pet has never once looked badly at you, all they have is joy and excitement when they see you and all they know is you for their entire life and they’re just a chapter in yours.

And not even four months apart, Kitty had just passed before. The pain was different but just holding her during her last moments fucked me up. Losing both of them felt like losing my teenage hood. I know that’s been done but them no longer here really sealed the chapter off.

Anyways. Maybe I just needed to let that all out. As much as I’m struggling in life, I will always remind myself I’ve come such a long way. I’m almost 3 months free of nicotine and I’ve only drank twice since the new year. Ain’t perfect but it’s a real improvement than the damage I’ve done to my body the last 2 years.

Next step is to get my PCP and HRT reevaluated.

This is the year I focus on my health, my mental health and mind state.

We’re getting ready to build our family and there is nothing more I want in this life than to become a father. I need to better myself if I wanna stick around and be here for that. I know I can do it.

[87435678753256732]

March 2023

My last monthly check in ended with a nice little update. today marks 3/28/2023, and i have been in a relationship with my bf since 2/26/2023, and met on 2/22. talk about angel numbers, woaa. i wanted to list out the ways in which he makes me feel so special, and the things that have helped me fall in love with him. 1. communication. i love talking to people, esp when they hold a special place in my heart. dumb tiktok “coaches” say constant communication/ texting is lovebombing, but i disagree. texting is a way to get to know the person outside of their IRL personality, which can sometimes be held back if they are shy. I’ve had constant communication, good morning and night texts, and just silly little conversations and memes we’ve shared with eachother. I get a rush of happiness when i see his name on my notifications, wondering what he just said. his personality is amazing as well. we have a similar sense of humor, and even talking to him IRL is amazing. he’s funny too, and thinks im funny which is always a little ego boost. he’s constantly on my mind, and i want to know what he’s up to. 2. personality and values. i mentioned personality a little before, but it truly is one of the main reasons i clicked with him so fast. its strange to say, but it felt like i was catching up with an old friend, like we’d known each other for so much longer. a persons values are also important to me, and making sure that they align has always been a priority. and they do!! he’s such a caring person, and has not been afraid to be vulnerable/emotional with me. this is something extremely important to me, and i am also very emotional and do not like if people connect being emotionally vulnerable with negativity/weakness. we went to go see eeaao together, and he cried while watching which was a relief (LOL). i wanted to test values that may interfere with our future. if we are fortunate enough to grow older together and have our own children, i do not want to raise them with a parent that will see their emotions as weak, because thats how I was raised and it didn’t turn out so good. overall, he’s an amazing person, and i feel so fortunate to have met him the way i did. thing happen for a good reason. i may not believe in god, but i feel like this was a higher power move. maybe this means I should probably start going to church. 3. he's beautiful!! I like reminding him of this each time I look at him and smile. He replies “no” a lot which makes me a little sad. How can someone so beautiful deny their own gorgeous presence. I understand many people say physical looks shouldn't matter, but I think it def helps to have some eye candy. His beautiful face, body, personality embodies warmth. A sweet type of warmth you only feel after leaving a cold room. A spring-like warmth that doesn't blind your eyes, and feels like kisses all over the body. Looking into his eyes is mesmerizing, and I feel like my belly melts every time we look at each other for long periods of times. His smile, lips, teeth, and laugh make me gush every time I look at them. He told me I was the first to compliment his tooth gap, and the first to hand him his glasses when we’re intimate. a song that reminds me of him is “cocoon’ by Bjork.  im not sure how someone so perfect has been roaming in a neighboring city this whole time. but im so glad that I decided to go with downloading the app and having my friend help me with setting it up. otherwise, im not exactly sure what I would be doing. I know I would probably not be looking to date and just “focusing” on the next chapter of my life. but damn does having someone by my side make things 100% better. I am so in love with this boy that it is almost scary. I haven't felt this way about anybody In a long time. the scariness doesn't come from fear, but from awe that I finally have somebody I can give all my love to. My previous partners were all helpful in their own ways, but I never really felt in love with them (with the exception of one) in my adult life. sure there is always the fear that things may end one day, but I feel certain that even if things do not go as we hoped for, the love I am currently feeling can be seen as a happy, positive time in my life. 

Looking back at the timeline, its like things were perfectly timed out. in 2022, I was feeling the loneliness after graduating from undergrad. I was hurting from the betrayal of my mother and overall reflection of how I was treated as a child. I started therapy in august that year with an actual, good therapist. something I had discussed with my previous therapist was “putting myself out there” which. terrified me at the time. I ended things with her because I felt as we were going no where, and I was right. I've worked on so many things with my current therapist and it has greatly helped improve my quality of life. 

Here are some of the things that Im looking fwd to in 2023:

- starting graduate school. AH! scary! 3 year program

- growing at work. I recently got a raise which is amazinnn

- seeing my good friends again. haven't planned anything but I just have positive intentions LOL

- more memories and growing with my boyfriend. our half year will be 8/26, and 1 year on 2/26/24. how sweet ~U~

[lee-minhoe]

hi love!!

ahsjdkf high key high key insane. yes that’s definitely it. and i know his latest vlog!!!!! it was so cute my god. ‘love me a man who can cook’ and ‘love me a man who reads for fun’ mel beloved you truly truly get it <3 and his boba eyes !!!!! exactly !! he has the prettiest eyes truly. and he and his cats!! the love he has for them is so lovely!! and ahsjdkf the puppy interview was such a mess i love it so much

and yeah i’ve been here for a bit ashdjf. i remember watching the whole survival thing and i listened to hellevator and i was high key obsessed with that and then i just never left? ahsjdkf but yeah it’s been really fun seeing them grow because looking back and then realizing how big they are now is just insane sometimes tbh. but!! what !! two months ???? ngl i would never have guessed that with how much you adore minho ahsjdkf. i hope it’s been fun getting into them though! is min the only bias or is there someone else too 👀

uhmm wait let me check spotify ashdhdjf. okay so. album wise, my fave from the i am series is probably i am who? pretty much every song on that album is a serious fave. and from the clé series it’s probably levanter but miroh is a close second ! and tbh any album after 2020 is a fave i can’t choose i really love all their music ahsjdkf. as for fancams i actually don’t really watch those? feel free to give me some recs !!

hope you have a wonderful day/night ! - 🌻

I JUST LOVE LINO SO MUCH :(((( mentally my mind is still with the last lino vlog hahahah. it didnt help that he was also in a sleeveless shirt for part of it and with the bw cap, thats one of my many weaknesses T.T

i love seeing lino with cats asfdsakh please i want to be a cat

omg so you watched skz when they were on that survival show then, i watched some clips of it after i became a fan and when lino and felix got eliminated and everyone was sad, it made me cry 😭😭 like when chan said to lix, i'm never gonna leave you okay? i was like noooooooo my bbs 😭😭😭 and also i love seeing lino teach the members about their dance moves, like i think there was a moment in the survival show (??) where chan was telling jeongin how to correct his dance moves and lino stepped in and calmly and patiently showed jeongin what to do 🥺🥺 lino dance teacher is one of my fav genres of lino (as if all the genres of lino arent my fav!!). also i was trying to find that clip i was talking about but i couldn't and instead i found this video and omg i made myself cry again ASJDFHAKSD the way that minho was smiling through the pain 😭 minho best boy <3

it has been really fun getting into skz!!! the boys are so talented and funny HAHA and stayblr seems so nice too :)) i felt like i was going insane when i first got into skz because their music is SO GOOD i was listening to it 24/7 and constantly had random parts of songs stuck in my head throughout the day LOL. i'm waiting for the day i can see them live on tour hehe i saw them at kcon la in aug but didn't really know much about them at the time! and besides min, my bias line is also felix and jeongin 🥺🥺 they're such cutieeesss <33 but honestly i love all of them!!! outside of skz though, i also love mark lee from nct a whole lot :(((( and jaemin as well, i think those are my top 3 biases :) it can take a while for a group or a bias to become like top ultimate-tier level for me but when they do there is no going back and i will be loyal forever HAHAHA

oooh santa you just asked me for lino fancam recs.....i hope you know what door you just opened 👀 i usually don't watch fancams except for my biases sometimes, but let me tell you i love lino fancams a lot LOL there's just something about the way he dances that is very mesmerizing to me?? here are some of my fav lino fancams:

201129 all in; 220409 maniac; 220311 maniac; 200709 easy; 210926 domino; 211231 thunderous; 210828 thunderous; 210826 thunderous; 221008 taste; 200618 gods menu; 200917 back door; charmer; boxer

SORRY I LISTED SO MANY LOL I AM CRAZY

[straykidsreactionsandscenarios]

Post Date: 20th October 2022 Content: Smut Word Count: 869 TW?: Breeding/ Creampie/ Penetration/ Dry humping ~

Kinktober Masterlist                                     Prompt List If you like my stuff and wanna tip, just buy me a coffee!

The movie was so boring, that you were ready to gauge your eyes out. Of course, you were the one to pick it but sincerely regretted it once you got into it. It was now the case of trying to find something to distract yourself, to entertain yourself. Once your eyes lay on your boyfriend, thoughts ran through your head.

“I’m bored,” you exclaim, a smirk growing on your face as he rolls his eyes at you, shaking his head.

Hating his lack of reaction, you throw your head back onto the couch, eyes glued to his jawline, following up to his lips that you loved so much, licking your own at the sight of him wetting his, with that tongue that does so much to you. 

The only way that you were going to get his attention was by throwing yourself onto him, straddling him as you blocked his full view of the TV and your fingers circled the back of his neck. 

“What are you-” he scolds but gets interrupted by your lips grazing against his, licking them seductively before pressing yours against his harshly and your fingers make their way up into his hair, lightly pulling at the strands.

He didn’t have a clue where this was going but how could he complain? How could he protest when the tent in his trousers prove that he was probably enjoying this a little too much for someone who wanted to watch that boring movie?

Humming into the kiss, he hoists you up to place you over his erection, as it pressed hard against your core, making you wet just from the contact of it against you. 

It was too hard to resist rolling your hips on it, grinding to give you both pleasurable feelings that surge through your body. “Are you really going to do that?” Hyunjin whispers, smiling ear-to-ear when a whimper falls from your lips. 

“How about you take your clothes off and ride this cock like a good girl?” he teases, his whisper in your ear makes your core clutch around nothing as you waste no time in doing as he says. 

The minute you lined his tip up with your core, it slid in so perfectly with your soaking core letting it enter with ease. It was gentle at first, with you taking control as you slowly lifted yourself up and dropped yourself down into his cock, feeling it so deep inside of you.

Though Hyunjin groans at the feeling, he couldn’t help but grab tightly on your hips, slamming himself into you which makes you weak at the knees. Your mouth and eyes shoot wide open as you let out a loud scream every time his hips slapped against your inner thighs and core, getting so deep in you that you genuinely thought you could feel him in your guts.

“Shit-” you cry, fingers tangled in his hair as you pull hard on it, head rested against him as he uses all of his power to make you crumble with each powerful thrust that he forces into you.

“Look at you crying over my cock,” he mocks, biting down on your shoulder that makes you yelp, it wasn’t too painful but it definitely added something different to it all. 

The way his tip smashed against the top of your walls, constantly hitting against your g-spot every time he slammed back into you made you whimper as you’ve never done before as the feeling becomes overwhelming. “Shit- I’m gonna-” you cry out, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as you breathed heavily onto it.

“That’s good baby, cum all over this cock like the pathetic little cock hungry slut you are,” Hyunjin hisses, his thrusts slowly becoming jagged as he realises there was no way he was going to pull out, “Let me fill you up with my babies”.

Hearing him talking about how he wants you to have his kids as he pounds your cunt as his life depends on it made you go over the edge completely and your orgasm hits you so hard that your mind goes completely blank as you scream his name into his neck. 

“Daddy-” you cry out as your orgasm washes over you, your legs shaking as you try to get up off his cock as it made you extra sensitive, “Stay there, you’re gonna have my babies”.

Sucking on his neck to get some form of comfort to come down from your high, Hyunjin paints your walls white with his hot liquid, holding you in place down on his cock, balls deep in you as your breathing is hitched, trying to match his breathing pattern.

The way his cock twitched inside of you as he makes sure that not even a drop could spill out of you made you whimper, the pressure that you were feeling felt like it was never going to end. 

“That’s a good girl, it’s okay,” he reassures, kissing your cheek as he caressed your side, turning around to carefully place you down on the couch and only then would he pull out of you, making you gasp, already missing the feeling of him being inside of you. 

[peachsayshi]

WHO SAYS I LOVE YOU FIRST? (Pt. 2) (Dad!Sukuna x F!Reader)

minors and ageless blogs do not interact.

a/n: this is part two of this little drabble scenario but Sukuna gets his own prompt because I’m connecting it to the ongoing Dad!Sukuna series! my requests are closed at the moment but I plan on opening them up when I finish what is in my queue - if you have any ideas you want to submit it’ll only be for hc’s or prompts related to any of the fics that I’m currently writing! (I would appreciate some fluff or angst prompts lol most of the stuff is all smut requests) I hope you enjoy this 💖 - I’m definitely going to elaborate on the whole story between this pair when I write my three part series! - let me know if you would like to be added to my Sukuna tag list or full tag list! 

TAGS: sukuna has a child, angst :c, sukuna is also an asshole, alludes to past abuse (not with Sukuna)

Sukuna stood before you with a dumbstruck expression resting across his face, while trying to comprehend what possessed you to confess those words to him…in the middle of an argument no less. 

He can’t even remember why everything escalated to this point.

One minute you were snuggled in his arms and the next you two had sprung away from each other and started bickering about everything under the sun.

Sukuna was growing frustrated with your odd behavior, and you were tired of him constantly brushing you off. 

He wanted to be an active influence in Rai’s life and you weren’t happy with how he treated his role as a father like a twisted game to fulfill a dynastic fantasy he had. 

He reminded you in that moment that Rai wasn’t just a human, and you rebutted that he was more like you than Sukuna would ever care to admit. 

Back and forth you both dissected everything wrong about your relationship, until the pain made you unravel and you parted to lips to spill a secret you had been keeping guarded up to this point. 

“I love you… ” you admitted, and the surprise settled across your face as the silence hung in the air. 

Sukuna swallowed the lump in his throat, taking in the sight of his beautiful and vulnerable concubine whose knuckles began turning white as your hands clenched tightly into fists, while you patiently waited for him to say...something. 

The truth is, Sukuna’s mind drew a blank.

For the first time in his long life, someone had actually rendered him speechless. 

He didn’t understand this conflicting emotion that plagued humans, one which made them incredibly soft and emphasized their weaknesses. 

He especially couldn’t wrap his mind that you - the witness to the extremeties of his violence, the devotee that had accepted him in his purest form, and the martyr who risked her own life whenever you stood your ground against his unruly wrath - would ever consider him with any kind of affection.

He took one stride toward you, then another, moving at a slow pace which only made your heart beat faster. He brushed his knuckles lightly across your cheek before hardening his gaze and narrowing his cold eyes.

“An innocent mistake on your part, my pet. You’ll soon learn to get over it.”

An audible gasp escaped you, the hurt washing over you in waves from how quickly your king had come to reject you. 

You didn’t even ask for his permission to be dismissed, and turned on your heel before storming your way out of his bedroom where you had been comfortably residing in over the last few weeks.

Sukuna believed that time would heal the wounds engraved in your heart - even though a small part of himself regretted the way he handled this particular situation.

He promised himself that he would at least respect your boundaries until you were ready to approach him, but as time passed he found himself growing restless from how adamant you were on distancing yourself from him. 

You avoided him at every cost, ensuring that you were never around his vicinity whenever he would stroll the palace grounds. He would ask the other servants about you, but you already gave them perfectly crafted stories with reasons as to why you had been kept occupied.  As his patience began wearing thin, Sukuna decided that he would use his free time with Rai instead in the hopes that he may lure you to his presence through the child you shared. 

Sitting on his throne one morning, Sukuna sighed quietly in defeat when he realized that nothing was enough to make you push this particular argument aside. A week had almost passed now, and there was still no sign of you.

He ran his his fingers through his son’s red hair, feeling Rai tilting his head underneath his touch as he looked up at his father with fiery, warm eyes. 

They may share similar physical traits, but the feelings conveyed through the child’s compassionate stare was wholeheartedly yours. 

A tender glance that made an unfamiliar warmth spread across the cursed king’s chest.

He merely had enough of you giving him the cold shoulder and decided to show up at your quarters one night.

He didn’t care how late the hour was, nor did he take your privacy into any consideration when he slid the screen doors wide open. 

To his surprise you were awake, and he found you leaning against the window as you were staring out into the distance.

He made eye contact with you, realizing that you regarded him with neither surprise or fear.

He could tell that you had been expecting this moment, which gave him the confidence to approach you without hesitation. 

His fingers held your chin when he stood in front of you, and he tilted your up face up towards him before speaking. 

“I will take you to bed tonight.” 

The sentence wasn’t a request, but an order. He had every intention of disrobing you right where you were before having you in ways that would make your voice carry across the grounds.

He did very little to hide his own desperation, and your fingers squeezed the overlap of your kimono as you held the front panel tightly close your chest. 

Sukuna lightly trace your bottom lip with his thumb, tugging at it slightly as he arched to lean forward. He rubbed the side of his nose on yours, his warm breath making your lashes flutter and you found yourself parting your lips naturally before catching yourself from falling into his trap.

“No.” 

Your words were barely a whisper, and it took a moment for Sukuna to even realize that you had spoken before he froze from delivering his kiss. 

You felt his hand drop away from your jaw, his fingers stretching out to curl around your neck as he made direct eye contact with you. 

He look incredibly displeased.

He has never heard you defy him under any circumstances.

When you were brought to him as a sacrifice he expected you to cower the first night he planned on taking you to his bed, but you accepted him without any question. He wasn’t used to your rejection because never turned him away, and at this very second he found himself growing more frustrated than anticipated.

“You have duties to fulfill, pet... services to perform...” Sukuna reminded, dragging his lips away from yours as he breathed in the scent of your skin before gliding them dow your neck, “…how are you of use to me if you don’t comply?” 

His words made you tremble, but you maintained your composure as you held your head high. 

“You tell me...” 

You challenged him again, making your king pull away from you as he looked at you with confusion and annoyance. 

“I’ve given you a whole new life, and this is how you thank me?” he scoffed. “Did you forget how easily men used you...” 

He ripped open old wounds that took you a long time to heal, and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks at the mention of your haunting past.

“My past is no different than my present,” you reminded him, “You use me for your own pleasure and if I hadn’t given you a son then you wouldn’t have treated me any differently...” 

Yes I would, Sukuna argued back in his mind, but he wouldn’t let those words slip and show even an ounce of vulnerability.

He had no idea why you were winding him up this much, no comprehension as to why he couldn’t rationalize the maddening emotions that were conflicting his mind.

He didn’t want to admit that he had been yearning for you every second of every day, nor did he want confess that he couldn’t look at any of the other concubines without feeling sick to his stomach. 

He looped one arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest and making your feet hover off the ground form his sheer strength. 

He pinched the front of his brows, his nostrils flaring as his pupils shrunk in size and he could feel your hand claw at his arms as you attempted to push him off you.

He brought mouth lips to your ear, murmuring in a low but sinister voice that had you trembling from his cruel words.

“If you’re unhappy with your position, you’re free to leave.” 

When he released you from his embrace is when you felt your heart shatter, unable to withstand all the cracks that he had already inflicted. 

Sukuna wasn’t stupid - you knew that he was giving you ultimatum to make you rethink your current behavior towards him by reminding you of how much you had to lose. 

Serving your king guaranteed you safety, a roof of over your head and a warm meal. You would never have to worry about Rai under the protection of his father, knowing full well that if any of the jujutsu sorcerers got wind of his existence that they would kill him faster than you can even blink. 

Yet, you had grown tired of compliance, exhausted yourself of having to obey and submit with every breath you took. You hated that you’ve shed more tears than laughed, that death stood by you with every threat and insult, and that your love was only worth empty bribes and gold.

These last few weeks made you believe in a dream that never seemed tangible when vicious King treated you like a lover - sharing a bed with you, ensuring that your were pampered and nourished, and taking away any formalities that asserted his power of you.

You were beginning to see a glimpse of a beatiful future - one where you no longer used your body as a means to end, where your son could grow without ever having to comprehend the struggles of how harsh this cruel world could be, and where you could truly give all the parts of you to the one person who mattered.

How could Sukuna have been this blind sided by your confession when you thought that some part of him loved you in return? 

You wiped a rogue tear away from your face, acknowledging in that moment that you didn’t want to live the rest of your life being viewed as an object from the being you loved. 

You didn’t know how to survive on your own, but if liberating yourself meant a small chance of unconditional happiness, you realized it was a risk worth taking. 

*** 

TAG: @chemstrails-club @mrsmorgenstern @pensivespecter @ekaterinatepes @bloombb @nanamikentcs

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

Just My Imagination (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello! We’ve entered the 70s and part 3! The songs used in this chapter are “Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)” by The Temptations (1971) and “Lovin’ You” By Minnie Riperton (1975).

Summary: Y/n and Wanda experience life (and pregnancy) in the 70s as Wanda tries to keep everything under control. 

Hope you enjoy! :)

“Alright, krasivaya, what decade are we living in today?” Wanda asked in an overly upbeat tone as she took a space beside you on the bed. She hoped that the tradition would be enough to lift your spirts.

You turned to face her with devastated eyes and it took everything within Wanda to not burst into tears at the sight. That wasn’t what you needed right now.

“They don’t want me here, Wanda.” You mumbled dejectedly, brushing over her attempt at making you feel better. Seeing you so downtrodden was such a stark contrast to your usually carefree nature. It was heartbreaking for Wanda to see.

Scooting closer, Wanda wrapped a comforting arm around you. You immediately turned to bury your head in her shoulder, desperately seeking comfort in her arms. “Moya lyubov, that’s not true. You know how Stark is.” She rubbed your arm soothingly. “If it makes you feel better, I may have thrown him through the wall when you left.” A weak chuckle shook your body at her admission.

The smile that formed on Wanda’s lips was instantaneous when the sound she adored filled the quiet room.

The moment didn’t last long though. “He said I was dangerous.” You faintly whispered, hurt lacing your words.

Wanda sighed. “Y/n. Look at me.” You pulled your head up to meet her loving gaze. “You and I both know that’s far from the truth. Your emotions got the best of you once. That’s all.”

You shamefully ducked your head. “I just-… I could have hurt someone. I couldn’t help but think of her when we were there. That’s why I lost control and the building collapsed.” It took Wanda a moment, but she finally understood what this was about. “It was like I was back there, not able to protect her…” you couldn’t find it in yourself to continue as tears welled in your eyes.

Immediately her hold on you tightened as she pressed her lips firmly against your hairline. “Shh… I have you. It’s okay. Let it out.” Wanda whispered as she felt your tears flow steadily against her neck.

You bunched your hands into the front of her sweater as you tried to take deep breathes. “I miss her, Wanda… So much. Anna didn’t deserve what happened. It should have been me-”

If anyone understood your pain it was Wanda, but she couldn’t allow your thoughts to spiral like that. She knew all too well what could come from that.

“Stop.” She interrupted firmly. “The world needs you here. My world needs you here. You did everything you could for her. You loved her so much, Y/n. Don’t carry that burden of blame when it was all Hydra.”

Her eyes offered you comfort and the depths contained nothing but love that enveloped your entire being. You felt lighter. “Thank you.” You finally murmured. “For being here, for knowing what I need. For being you... Every time I think I couldn’t be more in love...” You thought out loud to yourself with a faint smile.

Wanda’s breath hitched as her eyes filled with even more emotion. “There’s no need to thank me. You do the same for me. Constantly. I’ll always be here. I won’t let go of you.” She repeated the words you once told her back at you. Your heart thrummed. “I love you. Endlessly.”

“I love you, too.” You mumbled against her lips, losing yourself in the feeling for a moment before you pulled away.

Wanda dazedly shook her head, regaining her focus. “So?” She placed another tender kiss to your temple as her smile became playful. “What decade are we using to escape from this one?” She questioned again, once again offering you the fictitious escape of reality that you’d both grown to find comfort in.

You shook your head but gave in either way. “The 70s.” you eventually replied with a small smile, settling on your favorite.

You covered your face in mock mortification when Wanda immediately threw up a peace sign with her free hand. “Far out.” She retorted coolly. The outdated saying fell easily from her lips as she settled into her character. You shook your head again. “I’ll get the shows ready, you get the music?”

The smile that grew on your face from her antics was inevitable. “Sounds… groovy, babe.” You responded, playing along. Despite the exasperation that you feigned, you appreciated everything she was doing.

“Oh, god…” You groaned as you watched Wanda disco out of the room to go gather what you two would need.

You were so unfathomably in love with this woman.  

For a moment you wished that the world was able to see this side of Wanda, the side that was reserved for you and you alone. The playful side. The side that showed that she was more than just tragedy.

Wanda knew that playing make-believe wouldn’t fix your problems or heal your pain, but it would be enough to ease your mind even if it was just temporary. If this tradition was something that could bring the light back into your eyes, she was more than willing to provide it.

She knows that you’ve done the same for her numerous times before and would do so for as long as she needed it. 

When she wandered back in the room she held up two different options. “Okay, I couldn’t decide between-”

“You pick.” You interrupted her. She quirked an eyebrow.

With a shrug, she tossed the items on the bed and took both of your hands, pulling you up from your seated position. “We’ll get to that later then. Where’s the 70s music?”

Taking one of your hands back, you queued the playlist that had the music you were searching for. “There.” You said with a half-hearted smirk, still feeling a little down. Wanda immediately noticed.

The song that filled the room was upbeat and bouncy as Wanda began pulling your hands back and forth to the rhythm of the music. The amused twinkle in her eye not going unnoticed. When she noticed you began moving on your own, Wanda began dancing in an exaggerated 70s fashion, singing along to the lyrics of the song. With a laugh, you easily joined her, feeling the weight lift from your shoulders ever so slightly.

For the remainder of the song you both danced around the room using your best 70s moves as you continued to loudly belt out the lyrics. When the song ended, you both fell to the floor, out of breath and smiling contentedly.

Leaning against each other both literally and metaphorically.

Moments of escape from the heavy lives you lead were few and far between so when they came around they were special. These moments with Wanda… they were special. They were escapes that had transitioned into traditions. Traditions that were forged with great care in the flames of your love.

Without warning, Wanda leaned over and cupped your cheek. She wasted no time before passionately connecting your lips. There was no hesitation as you returned her embrace. The music around you transitioned into something much softer as you both got lost in one another.

“Soon we'll be married and raise a family, a cozy little home out in the country with two children, maybe three. I tell you I can visualize it all, this couldn't be a dream for too real it all seems, but it was just my imagination runnin' way with me…”

The words that drifted from the radio caught your attention, easily pulling your focus from the task at hand. Flashes of moments you didn’t recognize flooded your mind. Despite the upbeat tempo of the song, the lyrics seemed sad… hopeless even. The emotion that the song radiated seemed to fill your body. 

An odd sense of longing blossomed in your chest as the song played on. The abrupt sound of someone speaking and a gentle squeeze of your wife’s hand in yours grounded you as you focused on the moment happening before you. 

The feeling of longing and hopelessness that filled you faded away and was replaced with excitement as Dr. Nielson began speaking. 

Wanda pretended not to notice the way you jumped slightly.

“Definitely pregnant!” The doctor confirmed cheerfully with a broad smile as he pulled the stethoscope from his ears. 

A short laugh fell from Wanda’s lips as you shook your head at the doctor’s obvious statement. “Well, that much we figured.” Wanda retorted flatly. 

You shifted to face the man fully. Squeezing Wanda’s hand in your own once more. “It’s just taken us a bit by surprise. It was kind of suddenly... Quite suddenly, wasn’t it? Practically overnight.” 

A sharp grip on your knee stopped your words as your eyes fell to Wanda, who subtly shook her head. “What my wife means is, we’re just tickled pink… or blue!” Wanda quickly supplied as she stood up from the couch. 

The doctor merely nodded, dismissing the comments as he stood up as well. “You’re at about 4 months now, is that right?” He questioned which you immediately shook your head at until you saw Wanda nodding enthusiastically and looking at you pointedly. 

You began nodding slowly with an unsure smile. “That sounds about right.” You responded hesitantly. The words practically a question.

“It’s easiest for ladies such as yourself to keep tabs on growing babies with fruit. It makes it simple.” You bristled slightly at the sexist remark as the doctor continued listing the size of the baby in comparison to various fruits. 

Disregarding his words, you interrupted him. “How big would the baby be at say… Twelve hours?” You attempted to ask nonchalantly. 

“Twelve hours?” Dr. Nielson eyed you skeptically.

Wanda rushed over to the man and began pulling him in the direction of the door. “I think this line of questioning is fruitless!” She joked with a nervous chuckle as the disembodied voices laughed along.

Not being deterred, you followed after them. “Hypothetically speaking, should we be concerned? Or concerned that even though we may have engaged in… “ You coughed awkwardly. “Activities that typically produce children, we both lack the necessary, erm-… equipment for impregnating. Hypothetically speaking of course.” 

Wanda choked at your words. “Sweetheart.” She sputtered abruptly, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment. 

The man lightly tapped your shoulder and ignored your words. “Hypothetically speaking, every new parent gets nervous.”

As you opened your mouth to reply, Wanda quickly cut you off. “Y/n. Why don’t you see the doctor out?”

You shrugged, deciding the doctor was no help anyway. “Good idea.” You made your way over to the doctor as you began leading him out. 

Before exiting, you glanced back to see Wanda looking down at her stomach with a soft smile. Your heart swelled at the sight. Any questions you may have had vanished if it meant she would keep smiling like that. 

When you reached the front yard, Dr. Nielson turned towards you. “You actually caught me just in time. I’m taking the wife on vacation this afternoon.”

“Oh, have a nice holiday. Hey, Herb!” You called out politely as you waved to the neighbor. He greeted you back as he continued to trim his hedges. “Listen, doctor, do you mind keeping the news of Wanda’s… you know, just between us? Everything is happening so quickly, I think we’d like it just between us for now.”

The man mimed zipping his lips. “Mums the word.” He replied easily. “I’m off. Bermuda baby!” He cheered as he walked off.

Just as you were about to turn back inside a sharp screeching sound caught your attention. You turned rapidly, only to see Herb’s hedge trimmer cutting into the brick of the wall. “Hey, Herb,” you called out hesitantly. “I think you may have taken the hedge trimming a little too far, pal.”

Herb looked up at you with an unnerving smile as he continued cutting into the brick. “So, I have. Thanks, buddy.”

“Yeah… don’t mention it.” You mumbled uncertainly. You turned and rushed into the house, eager to get away from the odd behavior. “Darling, the strangest thing just happened outside with Herb…” 

Wanda turned to face you. The sight of her stomach appearing even further along in the pregnancy than it was just moments before shocking you. “Woah! Have you gotten bigger?” you shouted with wide eyes.

The woman in question merely shrugged. “Have I? I can’t tell from this angle.” 

You wandered over and placed a hand softly over her stomach. “It’s either that or I need glasses.” The disembodied voices laughed. “With how fast you’re developing I think it might be in our best interest to prepare the nursery now.”

“That’s a great idea!” Wanda exclaimed excitedly. “I’ll help you as soon as I satisfy this craving.”

With a chuckle and a nod, you began moving the boxes into the room that would eventually become the nursery. After you had built the rocking chair, a book about pregnancy caught your eye. Taking a seat on the rocking chair, you began reading in hopes of preparing yourself for the pregnancy with all the necessary knowledge. You were deeply engrossed in the book when you noticed objects begin floating around the room. 

“Nesting. The overwhelming urge during pregnancy to clean, organize and prepare the home for the new baby.” You read out loud curiously as you took notice of Wanda using her powers to set up the room. 

Wanda waved her hand towards a box and a mobile began floating over to hang just above the crib. “See? You’re an expert already. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” Wanda replied distractedly through bites of the fruit she was eating. 

Absently you flipped through the book. “Well, nothing to worry about besides morning sickness, mood swings, aching back and fe-feet.” you stuttered out as you glanced over at your pregnant wife who was, in fact, on her feet. You closed the book and put it to the side as you stood up. “Darling, you should probably sit down.” 

With a dismissive wave of her hand, Wanda continued moving objects around the room. “Don’t be silly. All I feel is excitement, happiness, and oh!” she exclaimed as she glanced down at her stomach.

“Kicking? Already?” You asked disbelievingly as you placed your hand lightly over her stomach. “Wow…” you breathed out when you felt a gentle nudge against your fingertips.

Wanda smiled brightly, her eyes twinkling with joy. “It’s such a strange sensation. It’s kind of fluttery.” She explained with a cute scrunch of her nose. 

As soon as the word fluttery left her lips the plastic butterflies that were previously hanging on the mobile became animated and fluttered over to you.  “Oh, did I do that? I didn’t mean to.” She said in surprise as a butterfly landed on your nose. 

She turned to you and placed her finger out for the butterfly to crawl onto, her beautiful smile growing even more. You beamed brightly back at the sight of her as she let them out the bedroom window. You opened your book up again. 

“If that was the first kick that puts you at about… six months.” Your eyes widened as you flipped through the book. “Six months? That was so… fast! I can’t keep up!” You exclaimed.

Realizing how that may sound, you hurriedly kneeled down in front of Wanda and nuzzled your nose into her stomach. “Please don’t misinterpret, I can’t wait to meet you little Charlie!” You pressed a light kiss to her stomach before standing again.

“Charlie?” Wanda questioned curiously. “I was thinking Billy, just a nice, classic, all-American name.”

You tilted your head in mock thought. “Charming. But then there’s Charlie… named after the great Charles Dickens. “Life is made of so many partings welded together”” You recited to her with an excited smile. 

Despite herself, Wanda couldn’t help but smirk in amusement. “Nerd. I guess there’s only one solution for this debate… hope for a girl.” 

As you watched Wanda begin painting a stork on the wall with her powers, you began thinking. “I figure we should probably decide on a name soon though. Based on your rapid progression paired with the time elapsed…” You trailed off in thought. 

Absentmindedly you spun the wedding ring on your finger as you attempted to figure out the timeline of the pregnancy.

After a few moments of silence, Wanda snapped her fingers in front of your face. “He’s going to be here before you figure it out.” She teased lightly.

“Well, I’m not a robot, dear.” You quipped back distractedly as you attempted to correlate the growth with the timeframe. 

“And thank goodness for that.” Wanda countered easily, thoroughly enjoying watching you attempt to figure out the timeline. 

Suddenly, you focused your attention back to her. “If I’m thinking this through properly and don’t hold me to this… But… I believe it’s due Friday afternoon.”

Wanda’s eyes widened at the information. “In three days?” She choked out. “Maybe I should sit down.” 

“I need to practice!” You shouted unexpectedly as the information settled with you as well. Quickly, you grabbed a toy doll out of one of the boxes, a couple loose diapers and ran out of the room. Wanda shook her head at your antics but followed you out nonetheless.

After several practice rounds, you picked up the baby and stared it down seriously. The sound of laughter floated around you. “I think we have an understanding.” You told the inanimate object determinedly. “Start the clock!” You called to Wanda who immediately began the timer.

Fumbling only slightly, you were able to get the diaper on the baby with ease. “Time!” You shouted triumphantly.

“Your personal best.” Wanda called from the kitchen with a smile.

You pumped your fist in the air in celebration. “Yes! We are nothing if not prepared!” 

“Oh!” Wanda breathed out, her face scrunched in discomfort.

At the sound, your head snapped over to Wanda. “Darling?” you questioned in concern.

Once again, Wanda scrunched her face. “Did the book talk about this? It’s not a painful, but a strange…”

Vaguely you recalled reading about the feeling she was describing. You quickly began flipping through the book. Stopping shortly after when you found the information you were searching for. “Tightening sensation?” you offered helpfully. 

Wanda nodded, still cringing ever so slightly. “Yup. That’s it.”

You quickly skimmed over the page. “Braxton Hick’s contractions.” You informed her as you read on. “Also known as false labor. Usually begins in the third trimester. Named after John Braxton Hicks in 1875-”

“Honey.” Wanda interrupted, gesturing for you to get to the point.

“Right!” You skimmed further. “This could give us a chance to work on our breathing exercises.” You suggested as you made your way over to her and rubbed her back in soothing circles. 

Wanda nodded in agreement as you demonstrated the recommended breathing technique, which she replicated. “Yeah, it’s not working. I can still feel it.” She said with a frown.

You pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” 

Before you could get another word out, Wanda let out a short yell as everything in the kitchen went into a fritz. 

“Let’s abandon the kitchen!” you shouted as you protectively took Wanda by the hand and led her out. Wanda’s screams remained steady from the discomfort the entire way, much to your eardrums displeasure.  

A sudden, bright flash of light startled you as you both naturally fell into a defensive stance. Standing back-to-back, you both lifted your hands in preparation to fight if necessary. 

Almost as soon as you were in position, the house returned to normal. “It stopped.” Wanda said apprehensively as her hands remained in their defensive position.

“I’ll go check outside.” You said and rushed out the door, returning shortly after with the information. “It looks like the whole block is out.” 

Wanda wandered over to the couch and took a precarious seat. “And that was just a fake contraction. Who knows what will happen when the real thing starts.” Her brows creased together in worry. “Do you think they know it’s my fault?” 

You began making your way over to your wife. “Our neighbors?”

“Well, yes. With all the close calls we’ve been having it seems the people of Westview are always on the verge of discovering our secret.” She admitted worriedly.

Thoughtfully you ponded her question and all the odd occurrences that had happened around you since you arrived in Westview. “I know what you mean.” You began somberly as you took a seat next to Wanda. “But it’s more than that, isn’t it? Mr. Hart and Ellie, dinner, my dream, outside with Herb…” 

Wanda’s eyes glimmered with concern as she watched you anxiously. 

“I think something is wrong here, Wanda.” You finished softly. She searched your eyes as the pain in her eyes became more prominent...

“Do you think they know it’s my fault?”

You began making your way over to your wife and took a seat next to her. You gently took her hand in yours. “Yes, I know what you mean. The truth is we are in uncharted waters and you know what? I’m anxious too.” You admitted to her reassuringly. The voices cooed.

A soft smile formed on Wanda’s lips as she stared at you adoringly. “We just don’t know what to expect.” You nodded your head slightly in agreement as Wanda continued. “Will the baby have powers? Will it be my powers? Or your powers? A bit of both? No powers?” 

The twinkle in her eyes caused your stomach to flip. “If he’s anything like his mother, Charlie will be perfect.”

Wanda smirked. “You mean Billy.” You were about to respond when Wanda gasped loudly, startling you out of your seat. 

“Darling, are you alright?” you questioned fearfully as you scrambled back to your feet.

Wanda braced herself slightly. “This is a real one.” She gritted out.

“What?” you shouted as you began floating away from the ground.

Wanda glared at you from her position on the couch. “I thought you said Friday!”

“I told you I wasn’t a robot!” you defended anxiously as you continued floating higher, losing your ability to control the action.

Through the chaos in your mind you could hear Wanda begin her breathing exercises as she gestured for you to follow along. You nervously began following along, drifting back down to the floor a few seconds later. Wanda stood up and made her way over to you, soothingly taking your hand in hers. For a moment you both stood in place as you matched one another’s breathing. Slowly but surely regaining your composure. 

“Better?” Wanda questioned teasingly after a moment.

You took another deep breath. “Yes, darling, thank you.” You replied sheepishly.

Not even a moment later, water began falling steadily over the entirety of the house, drenching you both in a seemingly never-ending downpour. 

“Y/n?”

“Yes, dear?”

“I think my water just broke.”

“Yes, dear…” 

In a bid to seek shelter you ushered Wanda to the dining room table as you crawled under after her. Your nerves were on high alert as even the downpour couldn’t pull your worries away from the fact that your wife was going into labor. Your eyes remained anxiously transfixed on the woman next to you who was pouting in displeasure at the water ruining the room. Much to your relief, the downpour finally slowed and then stopped altogether. 

You quickly crawled out from under the space. “Let me help you up, dear.” You quickly offered Wanda, not wanting her to strain herself in anyway. As you gently helped her to her feet, her eyes seemed most focused on the room around you.

A small frown tugged at the corner of her lips as she surveyed the room. “What a mess!” Before you could react, she waved her hands and a powerful gust of wind blew in through the door, nearly knocking you off your feet. “That’s better.”

Her contentment was short lived as another groan of discomfort fell from her lips. “Darling, do you think it’s time to-”

“Call the doctor? Yes, I do, dear.” You responded quickly without letting her finish as you sprinted over to the phone only to hear the dial tone fill your ears. “Damn! The phones are down. I better run. Let’s hope he didn’t already leave for vacation.”

Wanda gasp as she rubbed her stomach anxiously. “At a time like this?” she cried.

Attempting to sooth her, you brushed a hand along her cheek lightly. A nervous smile on your lips. “Well, in all fairness darling, the baby is about nine months early. I’ll be back as fast as I can. Will you be alright here?”

A hesitant nod was Wanda’s only response. You pressed a short kiss to her lips and frantically raced out the door.

As Wanda attempted to calm herself through her breathing exercise, the sound of rustling in the nursery caught her attention. Just as she began making her way towards the sound, the doorbell sounded, causing her to jump. 

“Oh shoot!” She exclaimed, knowing that company meant she would have to explain her unexplainable pregnancy. Thinking quickly, she waved a hand and a coat floated out of the closest and covered her.

“Wanda! What’s up?” Geraldine began as soon as Wanda opened the door. Her brows furrowed when she noticed the coat the other woman was wearing. “It’s 75 degrees out, you making a fashion statement?” She questioned lightly as she walked into the home. 

A forced smile formed on Wanda’s face as she attempted to speak through the contractions as they came and went. “Hi Geraldine, you know, now isn’t really a good time.” She informed the other woman politely. 

Geraldine turned to face Wanda. “No, no, no, it’s foxy. You’ll have to let me borrow it sometime.” She replied, misinterpreting the meaning of Wanda’s words. “But first, I have to borrow a bucket. Not to wear, to use. Somehow all the pipes in my ceiling burst at once and I have to bail myself out.” 

“Alright, sure! Just stay right there, I think I may have a bucket in the kitchen!” Wanda shouted when she noticed Geraldine turn. She quickly ran passed Geraldine and into the kitchen, keeping her coat wrapped tightly around her abdominal area. “I think it’s just here under the s-sINK!” She cried as another painful contraction overcame her.

“Are you alright in there?” Geraldine called out in concern. 

Another contraction came as Wanda attempted to control her tone through this one. “Y-yes, I’m just looking-ow!” She stuttered out as her coat magically transformed into a fur coat. Despite the situation she couldn’t help but admire the quality. 

“I’ll come help.” Geraldine announced as Wanda quickly took off the coat and threw it to the side. 

“No! I mean, no thank you!” she quickly corrected herself. 

Her words fell on deaf ears as Geraldine wandered over to the closet in the kitchen, her back to Wanda. “Found it!” As she turned, Wanda grabbed a bowl of fruit to hide her stomach now that the coat wasn’t an option. “Would you look at that?” Wanda tensed. “Fruit! Wanda, thank you!” Geraldine said cheerfully as she took an apple. Wanda’s shoulder slouched with relief.

“Good luck with the leak.” Wanda breathed out as she began to follow Geraldine out. She was glad to have avoided any incident. 

Geraldine continued speaking despite having the item she came for. Even though she knew it wasn’t neighborly, Wanda couldn’t help but tune out Geraldine as she spoke. If she wasn’t in the middle of giving birth she knew she would care more about being a good hostess, but that just wasn’t a priority to her at the moment.

That is until a stork appeared behind the couch Geraldine was currently rising from.  “Wait, no! Tell me about the temp job!” She urged desperately, sighing in relief when Geraldine smiled and sat back down. The woman excitedly began recounting her story. 

Seeing how thrilled her friend was, Wanda did her best to listen half-heartedly as the stork continued to wander around in the background despite numerous attempts to make it go away. Much to Wanda’s relief, Geraldine was oblivious to the chaos occurring around her as she engrossed in the story she was telling. Wanda was able to get away with just making small comments here and there.

As one disaster was averted, Geraldine began making her way into the nursery where the stork had just gone into. “Wait!” Wanda cried as she rushed after her, grabbing a vase to cover her stomach along the way. 

“Is that what I think it is?” Geraldine asked, her tone serious as she looked in the direction of where the stork was perched against the painting on the wall. 

A nervous chuckle escaped Wanda’s lips. “Oh, a stork. Yes. I can explain.” 

Excitedly, Geraldine turned to face Wanda. “No! The crib.” She gestured to the object in question. 

Not a moment after Geraldine began admiring the nursery, another contraction overtook Wanda, the force of it causing her to drop the vase. The object shattered at her feet. “Oh, it’s coming! The baby is coming!” She cried out through heavy breaths. 

“You’re pregnant?” Geraldine questioned, eyes wide in bewilderment. Instead of answering another scream fell from Wanda’s lips as she placed her hands over her stomach. 

Geraldine cautiously led Wanda out of the nursery. “Let’s get you comfortable.” She rushed over to the couch and began gathering the pillows.

Several items in the house began moving on their own as the radio stirred to life at a loud volume. 

“Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true and everything that I do is out of lovin' you…”

Wanda began lowering herself to the floor, practically having to shout over the music. “I think I’m going to lay down right here. Y/n ran to get the doctor, she’ll be back soon.” She gritted out as she carelessly fell back against the floor.

Hurriedly, Geraldine shoved a pillow under Wanda’s head before it could make contact with the floor. “There’s not enough time for that. Relax, relax.” She frantically said as she rushed around the area, gathering different items. “You know your breathing, right?”

The radio began playing even louder as Wanda ground her teeth together, attempting to breathe in the rhythmical pattern she had practiced earlier. Rather than the rhythmic breathes, muffled screams slipped passed Wanda’s lips instead.

Geraldine gasped loudly as a chandelier fell near her and the music began playing even louder. “I may be late to the party, but I imagine there’s a logical explanation for this.” She told Wanda in a calming tone as she set down all the items she grabbed.

“It’s all perfectly natural!” Wanda managed in between screams as the volume of the radio continued to rise with her screams.

With wide eyes Geraldine took hold of Wanda’s knee to attempt to ground her. “Hey, hey, you’re doing great. Let’s start by turning off the music.” Geraldine shouted over the radio. Wanda faintly heard her and weakly waved a hand, effectively stopping the music, but the paintings continued spinning on the wall. “Look at me. Look at me.” Geraldine said calmly and began replicating the breathing Wanda had worked on with you earlier. 

With terrified eyes, Wanda kept her gaze locked on Geraldine, desperately wishing you were there to comfort her through this. “I can’t.” she cried out, shaking her head as tears slowly fell down her cheeks.

“Yes, you can. You can do this.” Geraldine countered unflinchingly. Wanda continued shaking her head frantically. “Yes, you can!” she shouted at her. 

The tears fell more steadily down Wanda’s cheeks as the fear set in. “I can’t.” She repeated tearfully. “I need Y/n. I need Y/n.” She begged, desperately seeking her one source of comfort. 

Leaning down, Geraldine checked how far along Wanda was. “It’s time to start pushing.” She said excitedly with a smile. Wanda continued shaking her head. “You’re ready! Push! Push, Wanda!” She encouraged supportively. 

With a scream, Wanda began pushing. All of the objects in the house began moving on their own until they suddenly stopped when Wanda’s screaming stopped. The soft coos coming from the baby filled the quiet room. “It’s a boy.” Geraldine announced with a smile. The smile that lit up Wanda’s face was incomparable to the happiness she felt in her heart. Geraldine wrapped him up handed her the baby. 

The baby who was a piece of herself and you… the person she loved most in the world. “Hi... Hi.” She whispered to the baby as she traced a finger delicately along his cheek. “Oh, he’s perfect.” 

Almost as soon as the words left her lips, you rushed into the home with Dr. Nielson on your back. “Oh no, I missed it.” You whispered sadly. The frown on your face faded when Wanda looked up at you with a smile that stopped your world. The way her eyes shone took your breath away. The world around you both faded as you stared at one another in an awestruck haze of love.

Indistinctly you could see Geraldine pull a shaky Dr. Nielson out of the room as you dazedly made your way over to your wife, kneeling at her side. “Every time I think I couldn’t be more in love...” You breathed out as your eyes fell on the bundle in her arms. Wanda’s breath hitched slightly as emotion flooded her eyes.

“Y/n, would you like to meet your son?” Wanda asked softly.

As gently as you could, you took the baby into your arms. The smile on your face growing even more when he looked up at you. Wanda’s heart fluttered at the sight. “Hello, little Billy.” You cooed as he took hold of your finger. . 

Wanda tilted her head in surprise, unable to hold back her smile at your words. “Billy?”

With a nod, you lovingly looked back at her. “Yes. Billy.” Making sure Billy was secure in your arms, you leaned down to kiss Wanda. Just as your lips were about to connect, she began screaming. 

Unsure of what was going on, you began yelling as well. “What?” you shouted in bewilderment. When you glanced down you realized what was happening. “Oh! There’s another baby coming!”

“Charlie!” Wanda shouted through the contraction. 

“Wanda, push! Push!” You encouraged lovingly, all the while making sure Billy was safe in your arms. With you by her side, the fear that Wanda felt earlier vanished. 

With you by her side she knew she could do anything. 

When all was said and done, Dr. Nielson did one final glance over the twins. “Twenty fingers and twenty toes. You have one healthy baby boy and one healthy baby girl on your hands.” He declared cheerfully as he handed the baby in his arms back to Wanda. 

Wanda eagerly took the baby back in her arms as you gently rocked the other. “Thank you, doctor.” She responded with a smile.

He turned and pointed at Geraldine. “And thank you for all your assistance, young lady. I think you might have what it takes to be a nurse.” Both Geraldine and Wanda shared amused looks with one another at the comment. 

“Allow me to walk you out, doctor.” You offered as you gently placed the baby down in the crib.

Dr. Nielson nervously shifted. “As long as we’re actually walking this time.” He replied skeptically as he followed you out the door.  

“Well, Dr. Nielson, I hope you’re still able to make your trip.” You said polietly with a smile when you both reached the front yard.

Again, Dr. Nielson shifted in place. “Yes, my trip. I don’t think we’ll make it after all. Small towns, you know, so hard to… escape.” He murmured cryptically before walking off. 

For a moment you stared after him, wondering what he meant. Shaking it off, you turned to head back inside only to see Agnes and Ellie whispering amongst themselves by one of the walls that you shared with the house next door. “Hello, neighbors!” You called politely.

“Hey!” They replied suspiciously in unison before going back to whispering amongst themselves. 

Unable to help yourself, you wandered over. “Remarkable day we’re having. Did you lose power too?” You asked in a friendly tone, noting the way their postures changed when you were near.

“Sure did, but Ralph looks better in the dark so I’m not complaining.” Agnes joked. 

Ellie nodded along. “I barely even noticed it... I’m very resourceful.” She added with a wink.

You chuckled uncomfortably as they joined in with their own laughter. “Well. I better get back to Wanda.” You mumbled awkwardly, turning back towards the house. 

“Y/n.” Ellie called after you, causing you to turn around. “Is Geraldine inside with Wanda?”

With furrowed brows you stepped closer to them, feeling unnerved by their behavior. “Yes, why?”

Ellie hesitated, almost as if she was unsure if she wanted to tell you. “She’s new to town. Brand new.”

“No family, no husband.” Agnes added, her expression portraying how odd she found the situation.

You shrugged indifferently. “Well, there’s nothing wrong with that.” You countered with a confused smile.

Agnes made a short noise of disagreement and Ellie pursed her lips. “No home.” Agnes eventually supplied.

“What?” you questioned disbelievingly. “What do you mean she has no home?”

Ellie shifted uncomfortably. “She came here because-… She came here because we’re all-… You are-…” 

“She came here because we’re all what? I’m what? What are you trying to tell me?” You replied, feeling your patience wearing thin. 

Shaking her head, Ellie continued. “She came here because you need to-”

“Stop it.” Agnes cut her off sharply as she turned to face her head on. You noticed the way she shook her head. 

Almost as though someone flipped a switch, they both became upbeat again. “Well, we better get going.” Agnes rang the bell on her bike with a wink.

Ellie nodded along. “Those papers aren’t going to write themselves.” She said cheerfully as they both walked off leaving you thoroughly confused as you made your way back to your wife. ____________ “You’re such a strong lady.” Geraldine complimented Wanda who waved her hand bashfully in response. “Can you believe it? Twins!” She leaned forward to get a better look at the babies nestled safely in their cribs.

The smile on Wanda’s face was bright with all the love she felt in the moment. She stared at the two babies in the crib with Geraldine, her smile becoming somber. “I’m a twin.” She confessed. Her eyes glimmered with memories as she looked over at Geraldine. “I had a brother, his name was… Pietro. Y/n had a sister too. Anna. One in memory of each.” She whispered out softly her eyes falling to the babies again.

Lost in her memories, Wanda began singing a sokovian lullaby that would forever be nestled into her heart. The memory both painful and beautiful as she continued to sing to her children. 

“He was killed by Ultron, wasn’t he?” Geraldine questioned suddenly, her expression grave. “And Y/n’s sister. Hydra murdered her to torture Y/n, didn’t they?”

The song died on Wanda’s lips with Geraldine’s words. Her brows furrowed as she processed what she had just heard. Her shoulders tensed. “What did you say?” A tear fell down her cheek. When Geraldine didn’t reply, Wanda turned towards her. “What did you say?” She repeated, her eyes cold.

A forced smile overcame Geraldine’s features. “I said, Wanda, you’re such a strong lady.” She moved to hover by the couch. “Should I say it again for good measure?”

“No.” Wanda said sharply. “What did you say about Pietro and Anna?” 

Geraldine seemed to think for a moment, feigning confusion. “Pietro? Anna?” Wanda tilted her head. The babies began crying. “Hey, I’ll take a shift rocking the babies.” She offered as she began heading back over to the cribs.

Wanda stepped protectively in front of them. “No. I think you should leave.” She told her, her tone dark.

“Oh, Wanda, don’t be like that.” Geraldine retorted tensely. 

For the first time, Wanda noticed the necklace around Geraldine’s neck. “What is that?” She insisted, pointing shakily to piece of jewelry. “That symbol.”

“I-uh…” Geraldine stuttered as she took hold of the necklace.

“Who are you?” Wanda demanded. The threat in her eyes sent a chill down Geraldine’s spine. 

Geraldine faintly shook her head, her eyes troubled. “I don’t-”

“Who are you?” Wanda repeated sharply. The calm that overtook Wanda was unsettling as she slowly moved forward. Geraldine stepped back fearfully.  

The front door burst open as you rushed inside. “Wanda, where’s Geraldine?” You questioned as you looked around the house.

“Oh, she left, honey. She had to rush home.” Wanda replied easily with her back towards you as she watched the babies sleep peacefully. . . . . “If no one is going to say it, I will. That episode was adorable.” Darcy emphasized as she watched both you and Wanda settle on the couch with a baby in each of your arms. Wanda leaned over and lovingly pressed a kiss to your lips as the credits rolled. “Aww… I mean, c’mon. Look at them, they’re so precious. And now they started a family.” Darcy cooed as she watched the screen fade to black.

There was silence for a moment. “The babies are cute.” Steve admitted quietly. The sound of a soft thud filled the room as Natasha once again hit the back of Steve’s head. “What? They are!”

Natasha shook her head. “They are, but the issue here is we’re being given a filtered broadcast. Someone is controlling what we’re allowed to see. And even worse, we don’t know what happened to Monica.” 

“Natasha is right.” Fury interjected. “Darcy, you’ll be going to S.W.O.R.D. so you can gain some intel about what they’re planning.”

Darcy’s head snapped up in shock. “I’m just the astrophysicist here, not the Russian spy.” Natasha smirked at the comment.

“Even more of a reason they won’t suspect you.” Fury countered easily. “You can find Hayward’s plan… and find out if they’re the reason agent Fletcher is now a part of this.”

Steve crossed his arms. “Amelia was Y/n’s partner the entire time she was away from the Avengers. I have on good authority that they were close. I can’t imagine she’s there to harm her.”

“That was before the blip.” Natasha said calculatingly. “We can’t assume anything. She’s playing her part a little too well.”

As Steve was about to respond, Fury’s phone went off. They all watched with bated breath as he took the call. When he hung up, he turned to face them a pensive expression on his face. “It seems as though Monica has been found. Blasted through the hex.”

“You called it the hex!” Darcy exclaimed as they all turned to look at her in exasperation. “Sorry, not the time.”

This part may just be the longest piece I’ve ever written because there was so much I wanted to fit in. Also! If anyone wants to know what song I imagined Wanda and Y/n dancing around to in the beginning just let me know because I imagined a specific song in that scene, but didn’t feel it was important to include lol. Sorry for writing out Tommy, creating a different twin for Billy felt important to the story to properly express Wanda’s emotions.

 As always, I hope you all enjoyed!

Thoughts and comments always welcome! I love hearing from you all! :)

[megan-is-mia]

#10 and 11 on the FairyTale prompt list for Jamil?

(i made it fairytale themed xD) 10. “You are mine for as long as you shall live” 11. “Please stay with me, you don’t have to return to that horrible place” (Yandere! Jamil Viper x Fem! S/o)

Their story began like any other heroic tale: a noble warrior on a quest to save their home and the nefarious sorcerer who opposed them with fiendish delight. However, the way it would end was anything but foreseeable. For the noble warrior had a terrible secret, they were no knight in shining armor. No, they were a mere peasant, a young woman barely out of girlhood. She had been named (Y/n) by her parents and had been the only soul brave enough to stand against the wicked Viper Sorcerer Jamil. She guarded the secret of her identity dearly, wearing clothes meant for a man with padding underneath and her hair hacked short with the blade she’d stole from a mercenary when she’d begun her journey to the accursed lair of her foe. All the while unaware that her enemy’s eyes were constantly upon her as she pressed onwards to where he waited.

At first, Jamil had watched only out of curiosity for he was certain this slip of a girl wouldn’t stand a chance against him. So what was the harm in watching her weak attempts to grow stronger as she traveled closer and closer?

Though as time passed he began to feel something more for her, a fondness of sorts. Even though they’d never met he felt there was a kinship between them, a bond that could not be broken. By the time (Y/n) came banging on his front gates demanding he reveal his foul face to her, his mind was made up. He would make her his bride, together they could rule this pathetic land with iron fists. Entering the Sorcerer’s fortress was almost to easy in (Y/n)’s opinion. No guards, no monsters, not even any traps! The ease of her trek through the castle was unnerving her but she could not let it shake her resolve. She had a duty to fulfill, a duty to slay the wicked man who’d taken over her home! “Ah (Y/n), i was wondering when you’d finally make it to me my darling” the Viper Sorcerer said from his throne as the young woman entered the throne room. She cringed at the pet name and approached silently before drawing her blade and pointing it at him. “Evil Viper Sorcerer i have come to put a stop to your tyranny!” she declared trying to make her voice sound husky and authoritative. “And how do you intend to do that?” Jamil replied with amusement at his beloved attempts to be scary. “I’m going to kill you and free my home from your foul influence!” (Y/n) snapped back, unnerved by how calm the Sorcerer sounded after hearing her proclamation. “Even if you killed me it would not save your home. It was doomed long before i came along. Please stay with me” the young man said with a grin. “You don’t have to return to that horrible place” he added rising from his throne and strolling towards the girl.

“What kind of sick game are you trying to play you monster!?” (Y/n) squeaked backing away from the male as he approached. “I’d prefer if you called me by my name my love. Jamil would sound much sweeter coming from your lips than any of those insults ever did” Jamil said not pausing in his strides towards his partner.

“S-s-stay away from me!” the young woman cried out backing into a wall with a yelp. The Sorcerer was on her in a second, pinning her hands behind her back leaving her helpless to his attentions. “Stay away from you? Now why would i do that?” Jamil cooed and with a wave of his hand (Y/n)’s disguise disappeared leaving her almost naked save for the slip she wore next to her skin. “I need you to understand something. You are mine for as long as you shall live” Jamil said running his hands over the girl’s body. “I’ll never be yours! No matter how long you keep me captive I will never give in” (Y/n) said her words lacking the bite to make Jamil believe them. “Oh sweet treasure, you underestimate my patience. Soon enough you’ll see things my way and we can live happily ever after like in all those fairytales…” THE END

[lesbianakaashi]

The Forgotten Shounen: Katekyo Hitman Reborn

This is not a “Why you should watch/read khr” or anything like that. This is just me going into the deep dive and throwing my findings at you. I’m making this because khr used to be my favourite series when I was 15 (I had plushees, posters, tradingcards, the art book etc) and now as an adult I constantly find myself baffled at how unknow it seems to be.

1. Okay first what is khr?

Katekyo Hitman Reborn! or just Reborn! is a series by Akira Amano which was published in Weekly Shounen Jump from 2004 to 2012 (with 42 volumes) and got an anime adaption which run from 2006 to 2010 on Tv Tokyo (with 202 episodes and one OVA).

2. What’s it about?

Khr is a parody of the italian mafia and plays in a world where the mafia is heavily influencial. The protagonist is the japanese middle schooler Sawada Tsunayoshi who is known as “No good Tsuna” because of his failing grades, general weak and cowardly personality and weak physics.

He becomes aware of the mafia world when a 2 year old baby called Reborn arrives at his house claiming to be the greatest hitman and declaring himself his home tutor. Reborn was send by the 9th head of the Vongola famiglia who is ready to retire and looking for a new heir. Which of course, is supposed to be Tsuna and now it's Reborns job to shape him into a worthy sucessor.

Tsuna rejects the violence of the mafia world and refuses the position as the 10th. Thanks to Reborn and his general craziness Tsuna meets different people and starts to make real friendships. Reborn wants 6 of those friends to be Tsuna's future guardians, basically a group of people which will be closest to him in the vongola famiglia. Tsuna might have no interest in those positions but the friendships he builds with them become really precious to him.

Reborns arrivial also brings in the enemies of the Vongola family which leads to Tsuna being forced to engage in battles. Generally Tsuna openly avoids fights and prefers to run away but will put himself in danger for his friends' sake or because of something Reborn did.

Through out the series Tsuna matures and gains strenght but he never becomes a power fantasy. He's just a guy with many flaws who grows through the human connections he makes.

Personally I think the relationship between Reborn and Tsuna is one of the best student teacher reltaionships in all of manga only topped by Mob and Reigen from Mob Psycho 100. Especially the last arc really underlines their unique relationship to me.

Furthermore, khr offers a new and unique battle system: The flames. I'm not gonna go into to too much detail but the general idea is that one fights with their dying will flame which basically turns off your the savety switch so you can fight with everything you have. The flames are seperated into different categories such as: sky, storm, mist, rain, sun, lightning and cloud and have different attributes asigned to each one. Tsuna's use of the sky flame and his transformation when using it is still one of my favourite shounen transformations to this day.

3. What happened?

The series did really well and then not so well over the course of its serialisation. After the manga got an anime adaption it increased in populairty and video games, light novels, and other products such as CDs were created based on the series. Reborn is one of the best selling series of Weekly Shōnen Jump and has sold around 30 Million volumes overall. It was and still is very popular in Japan but rather unknown in the west.

According to the article "The Rise and Fall of Weekly Shonen Jump: A Look at the Circulation of Weekly Jump" khr was the 10th bestselling series in Weekly Shōnen Jump, with a total of 7 million copies sold in 2007.

This number increasing to 15 milion in 2008. Which placed khr into the 4th best selling series of 2008 in Japan.

Between 2008 and 2010 those sales declined but still kept strong with khr as the 6th top selling manga in 2009, 8th best selling in 2010 and then 24th best selling in 2012.

In November 2014, readers of the Da Vinci magazine voted khr number 17 on a list of Weekly Shōnen Jump's greatest manga series of all time.

After the anime came to an apprupt stop in 2010 for unknown reasons the manga sells took a visible hit. (Apparently the studio wanted to put the anime on halt because they were busy with other projects and give Akira Amano time to develop her story but I couldn't find any source for this claim) Furthermore, the rushed last chapters of the manga in 2012 declined the popularity of the series even more. There's no offical statement as to why the manga was ended in such a way but it's reasonable to assume that Jump either cut it considering the decreasing sales or Akira Amano choose to end it for personal reasons.

Nontheless, Tsuna not being included in Jump Force (a fighting game where you can play as different characters from Jump) in 2019 even tho he made it in earlier Jump Stars games also underlines the decreased interest in the series.

Rumors on a reboot or anime adaption of the last two arcs surface from time to time but are genereally unlikely. Artland the studio which made khr has gone bankrupt around 2015-2016. It might be taken on by another studio but rather uncommen especially with such an old series.

4. Art style

The khr anime ended over 10 years ago and the old art style might not be appealing to newer audiences.

Especailly because the anime adaption follows Akira Amanos old art style which heavily developed within the years. Here a picture comparing characters in the new art style:

A modern anime adaption in the new art style would be aesthetically pleasing. It would probably look similiar to Psycho Pass since Akira Amano did the concept art for this series.

(My personal art student hot take is that both art styles are unique and fun. Up to this day Akira Amano still has my favourite art style and even if the amount folds in the characters clothing is a little extreme I love it dearly.)

5. Criticism

The show is not without flaws and even if I greatly enjoy it it wouldn't be right not to adress them.

Daily Life Arc:

A lot of people view the first 20 to 25 episodes as fillers and quickly lose intererst in the series. This is due to the fact that Akira Amano inteded the series to be a gag manga and focuses the first chapters on world building, character introduction and comical narratives. It's rumored that the decision to develop the story into a battle shounen was made because the sales weren't doing well enough at first. So the first chapters/episodes may seem titidious but are necessary for the story and the development of the characters. The tonal shift from a more gintama like gag manga to a darker battle focused story can also be offputting to some viewers.

Either way a lot of people blame this arc when discussing why khr never got an english dub or didn't end up on Toonami. I've also read that the manga never finished serializing in the north america. However, it finished in other western languages like german and spanish.

Censoring:

The anime censors A LOT. From Gokudera's smoking habit, Yamamoto's whole character arc which deals with heavy themes such as depression and suicidal thoughts. The general bloodiness of the manga was censored and sometimes whole chapters and characters were left out even if those were important to the devolopment of others.

Filler episodes:

Out of the 202 episodes the anime has around 29 filler episodes which makes roughly 14 %.

Sexism:

Even if Reborn was written by a woman most female characters are rather flat and their storylines often tied to a male character in one way or another.

Genereal things:

Khr, like many other long running series, is sometimes criticised for a lack of world building or unpopular narrative choices.

6. Hope?

Khr isn't exactly dead. As stated before the series is still very popular in Japan and still gets new merch pretty regulary. There are also petitions floating around for a reboot or a new anime season but those never get a lot of traction. Furthermore #Reborn2期アニメ化 (#Reborn2ndAnimation) used to get some traction on twitter not too long ago. Last year the Anime News Network did a poll on which anime the readers would like to see a rebooot of and khr placed second.

Either way here's a collection of recent khr things I could find.

- In 2018 a new bluray set was released in north america

- The khr stage play reached yet another new season

- A mobile game was released last year

- Currently ongoing anime cafe event called "Concerto di Vongola"

- Last month there was an event with the former VAs and stage play actors where they discussed their favourite khr episodes.

- There has been an increase in blind reacts to the openings on youtube which might bring in a new fan base. The biggest one I could find had around 90k views and was made in 2019. On this note check out the soundtrack. The first openeing Drawing Days by SPLAY still makes me go insane (but I'm biased of course)

There also renewed hope for a new season/reboot because Shaman King, Inuyasha and Bleach got anounced for new seasons after a long hiatus. It's important to keep in mind that the circumstances for those series are differnt tho. For example bleachs new anime is often tied to the immense success of the gatcha game.

7. Conclusion

Khr is a series which used to be a flagship for Weekly Shounen Jump and is deeply beloved by it's fans, especially in Japan. It influenced other shounen series like bnha. It would be nice to see it gaining a bigger fanbase in the west :)