#his jokes suck

[benevolenterrancy]

Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature

[qcomicsy]

If batkids had a podcast XVI

Red hood: Just us today?

Nightwing: Just us today.

Red hood (laughing) I wonder why–

Nighwing: Dude– (laughing as well)

Red hood: I–

Nightwing: Dude don't do it–

(just both of them chuckling)

Red Hood (close to the mic): They're grounded.

Nightwing: (CACKLES)

Nightwing (crying): This is not funny

Red Hood: This is hilarious.

Red Hood: Were last survivors of our kind. . .

Red Hood: Adults.

Nightwing: Adults.

Red Hood: He can't ground us anymore.

Nighwing, chuckling: He can't ground us anymore

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Fuck.

Nightwing:

Red Hood: We're b– (pause) We're both the oldest now.

Nightwing: Yeah– You, me and–

Red Hood, at the same time: Yeah– (pause) This is so surreal

Nightwing: You think?

Red Hood: Yeah. Dude – I was. . . I was the youngest.

Nightwing: Oh your sweet summer– I was a only child.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Nightwing: It really isn't that weird to me.

Red Hood: Really?

Nightwing: Yeah– I was always the oldest man.

Nightwing: I was the oldest of my team

Red Hood: What?!

Nightwing: Yeah!

Red Hood: You're fucking with me.

Nightwing: Nah man– I was the oldest. I am the oldest, I'm not dead.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're older than Arsenal?

Nightwing: I'm older than everybody man.

Nightwing: People look at me and assign me to take care of children.

Red Hood (imitating Damian voice): "Father genes"

Nightwing: HA– "father genes" (pause) Why are you looking at me like that?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're ancient.

Nightwing: IM NOT ANCIENT.

Red Hood: You're older than the Teen Titans, fucking older than Young Justice.

Nightwing: You're older than Young Justice

Red Hood: I was dead man it doesn't count.

Nightwing: Of course it does– How old are you?

Red Hood: How old are you?

Nightwing:

Nighwing: I– I am an adult.

Red Hood: Uh-huh.

Nightwing: In a reasonable age.

Red Hood: You're in your thirties aren't you?

Nightwing: NO

Nightwing:

Red Hood: You look like you're in your thirties– The bag under your eyes

Nightwing: Because I'm tired????

Red Hood: The hunched posture.

Nightwing: Hey I do not have hunched posture– Fuck you.

Nightwing: You try to take care of an entire team of teenagers just to end up taking care of more two and a grown ass depressed middle aged man.

Red Hood: That was Red–

Nightwing: That was Red. (pause) I would have fucking killed him.

Red Hood: Oh Definitely.

Nightwing: Point still stand man I'm tired.

Red Hood: Both of us.

Nightwing: Both of us– (chuckles) Robins if you're hearing this I love both of you and I would do it all over again. Titans– (closer to the mic) You know what you did.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Red Hood (closer to his mic): You know your sins.

Nightwing (laughing): Flash owe me 30 dollars.

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[st-hedge]

Not even a construction crew can fix this boy

[deuteragonist1]

Wait a damn minute Merlin is an actual nightmare of a servant. Imagine you're the Prince and all of a sudden and only two seconds after surviving an assassination attempt you're stuck with this scrawny, clumsy fucking dude with a really shifty air about him who spends literal days in the tavern with zero notice, steals your food, tried to spy on a guest, doesn't let you hunt, can never fucking be found when you need him even though he is the literal manservant to the prince, which you would think should be a priority but apparently he has better things to do, and is always talking like he's the only thing standing between you and certain death???? Then he gives you attitude? Literally I would throw things at him too. Arthur is misunderstood he's actually being too nice

[l0verseyes]

only fitting i end my ULTRACELLS set w/ this. i think

[jessmalia]

Mal's Avatar: The Last Airbender rewatch: The Western Air Temple 3.12

[bigshotautos]

I really like your theory about Spamton basically haunting a mannequin after death. Have you ever touched upon the reaction from Jevil (or anyone, really) upon seeing the new Spamton? Especially considering Spamton isn't even aware he 'died'.

^ how i think jevil's first sight of Spamton would go. i love this ask. this is referring to some headcanons I made a while back, I'll link it here for the one post and the general ghost spamton theory is linked in that one as well. Going to elaborate on it more under the cut for those interested + more art.

In general I think that people from Spamton's past wouldn't really care if they notice at all, since he wasn't in the business of making close friends with anyone. With the Addisons, in my interpretation he had a "weird co-worker" relationship with them, and while Addisons in general treated each other like potential business competitors that they had to make-nice with, Spamton is especially easy to single out for being visibly and temperamentally different. His altered, current state is something they'd feel at least uncomfortable by, but many wouldn't have been too close with him to begin with for them to talk about it with him directly. Would get whispered about between each other for sure, like we saw with them talking about Spamton after the NEO fight. It moves him from the "disgraced guy I used to know" category to the "actually unpleasant to look at or think about" territory. This goes for Swatch, Queen, and Seam (less so), who seem to buy heavily into the Lightner and Darkner dynamic, with Spamton corrupting the Lightner's dream being a strong taboo against what it means to be a Darkner.

As for what Jevil thinks, Spamton during the NEO fight is both a beautiful and horrifying display. Jevil at this point hasn't seen him in years since his imprisonment, and in their time apart Jevil has grown to find novelty in the cage that everyone else besides him is in since he's created huge emotional distance between him and the reality he lives in. Seeing the fact that Spamton had corrupted an abandoned dream of a Lightner and was causing so much chaos to the established order of the world would be exhilarating, but at the same time seeing that Spamton had accomplished this and still had his strings visible (and changed to a marionette puppet with no symbolic agency), it'd be a painful confirmation of his worldview that even Spamton, who deep down he still cares for, could never have been free.

Jevil would think at first he'd just gone through some nebulous situation to change what he looks like, since ofc he himself has toy-like traits (arguable if that happened with Gasterfication or not), Seam is a plushie cat, and other Card Castle Darkners are based on toys, but feeling the lack of life combined with the symbolic body of Spamton would mean to him something bigger had went wrong. He wouldn't dare to bring it up in an empathetic way, stuck in his mindset that it doesn't matter, but it'd still hit a part of him he doesn't like to think still exists. It's something he gets over quickly, almost performatively going back to fucking with him and taking advantage of his fear for entertainment, but it didn't sit well at first.

To me, the fact Spamton "died" isn't really a huge deal, kind of like with the ghosts in Undertale where no one really cares they're just ghosts. They're just doing their thing. To me it'd be fine if neither of them find out what happened for certain, but it's something that adds Flavor to his character.

[atthebell]

opened twitter yesterday to look for cellbit birthday art and was immediately bombarded by people calling him phil's son again because of his stupid joke slip-up i think we need to abolish the term found family until people actually learn what it means. also perhaps learn what a fucking joke is

[indelicateink]

as an american, sam reid’s total inability to hide his contempt for overly fake-chipper american journalists, especially ones who Have Not Done The Assigned Reading know and care about the show, will never not be hilarious and iconic to me

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[diurnalrevelation]

sleuth jesters eclipse makes me want to throw a brick at him.

[healpimp]

Becoming good at TF2 as a queer fag is amazing bc if someone homophobic starts shit w you and they are worse they will be obsessed w you throughout the whole game in a way thats so embarrassing

[olivegardenhunter]

I think nobody talks enough about how each of the sannin all have such glorious hair. all three of them have such long and luscious hair. i bet they traded hair routines and created their own hair formulas. I mean a jutsu like jiraiya's surely requires special shampoo. and just look at how shiny oro's hair is, it wouldn't be out of place in a pantene commercial. and tsunade, as vain as she is, most definitely has a whole ass routine too. hell, looking at hashirama's hair, I bet there's a secret senju haircare routine, passed down through generations. that's their real kekkei genkai. the legendary sannin, more like the legendary luscious locks.

[kagoutiss]

green beetle black beetle

[canisalbus]

My headcanon for Modern!Machete before he encounters (re-encounters?) Vasco is that he works in some high-powered but low-profile position for an influential and well-known multinational. Like a corporate lawyer or accountant for Apple or Volkswagon or Shell. He's very, very good at his job, his assistants and staff think he's a good boss, his boss thinks he's great, but half his colleagues can't stand him because they think he got promoted for sucking up to their boss instead of for his skills (it was for his skills). He's got exactly enough interpersonal skills to recognize the problem and not enough to fix it. He gets paid extremely well, well enough to mostly pretend that he's happy and fulfilled (he still ends up happier in the Modern!AU because his job only sucks a little instead of literally destroying him. Also because modern medicine means his medical situation is much better understood and controlled). Yes this is all just the modern equivalent to what canon!Machete's got going on but it's startling how much carries over with no changes.

Oh that's so well thought out actually, I love that.

[chaoswarfare]

do x dc prompt #44

The JL are all out of options. this summoning is their last chance to get rid of the creature destroying the country and easily fending off their strongest allies.

The eldritch horror melts out of the chalk lines and looms over the heroes in charge of summoning it. The Ghost King, Ruler of the dead. Their last chance.

They ask for assistance, waiting on baited breath the creature’s demands.

“Wacky, poggers my dude. That’s pretty unfun, i gotchu tho. I’ll skedaddle and knock the ghoulie on his ass for ya.“

“no deals or repayment? he must be lying, you all know you can’t trust fae without specific contracts-“

“no cap, true that. i’m just cooler than that.”

And just like that, he disappeared from the circle with a quiet pop to take care of the problem.

Apparently the king of the dead talks like the worst combination of all american slang ever.