#his job is literally 'middle man who needs to play both sides'

[creature-once-removed]

.

[nthspecialll]

Hosea and Dutch have massively different goals when it comes to being leaders of this gang and it mirrors the way they interact with the gang.

Dutch wants to be worshipped, he wants to be needed and he wants to be looked up to. For him it isn't as much about helping people as it is about gaining a group who will listen to his every word and satify his desires. For him being a leader is self-forfilling, he is doing it for himself.

Hosea wants to help people. He used to be a violent man but learned with time and loss that people were worth more, even those whom he had put a bullet in. He is at the end of his life and he wants to make sure the people he loves are safe and will remain safe after he is in the ground. For him being a leader is about helping those he can and those he loves.

Dutch raises himself above the others in the gang, he has a better room, better clothing, he doesn't need to indulge in chores, his girl doesn't need to work. He is distancing himself from the others, putting himself on this podium where he is above them. While Abigail is worrying if her child will starve, he is worrying about philosophy.

You won't see him being casually social in camp, when he is talking to people there is often a purpose more than just chatter. Sometimes it is to make himself sound smart by talking philosophy or other times it is to step up as this messiah and lead them. Often times he can be seen alone, either someplace where he can see the others or they can see him.

Hosea is down on the ground, literally. He sleeps in a tent outside next to the others, he is running small jobs and small gig. He provides the gang with food and the does his part of the chores. He includes himself into the gang instead of rising above him which he could have the right to should he want.

He is also a more socialable person. Sure, he will step up to the role of a leader should it be needed, whether it is for advice or disipin, but you can also find him sitting by the camp fire talking about his past, both the ups and down, or you can play dominos with him, passing time.

You can also find him in the middle of camp normally, sitting by the dinner table, on a chair by the tent or just taking a stroll.

On a smaller note I noticed that the people who sided with Dutch were never people in need of the father figure Hosea presented to a lot of the others. They had had a family biologically and didn't a new one, they seeked employment and a "god", not a father.

(Tags: @photo1030 @pinescent-and-gingerbread )

[sim-patelle]

Francis Mosses headcanons

sfw, nsfw mentioned ¬> MDNI

neutral!reader, it's really sweet, the tired guy, from the game "That's not my neighbor", MILKMAN

Artist from the fanart : @__kozuu on X(Twitter)

Looks

His hands + fingers are long and slim, a little bit brighter skin tone than his usual skin (yk cus cold)

His knuckles are a bit raw, just a little bit

Has cold hands definitely

Height between 5'10 and 6'2

Definitely is slim, but a little defined six pack

Not that wide shoulders, more like average

Had Scoliosis as a kid

A bit longer arms

Always looks kind of pale because he's tired all the time

Has defined cheekbones and jawline

clothes & jewelry

Mostly wears straight black jeans or trousers

He has black cardigans

He literally doesn't know any other color to wear except white, black, Grey and grey-blue

He needs clothing education from you

Only has a slim silver ring on his right middle finger as jewlery

But also wears a watch with him, just not on his wrist but in the pocket of his jeans

Anything pt. 1

Definitely listens to true crime podcasts (how ironic haha)

But when music is on his ears, it's mostly Falco, Joy Division, Taco and The Police

Still kind of Lana del Rey coded

I'd say he has a big brother who had asked him for money several times, but Francis got tired of it

Regrets his job, or at least wants to change his occupation

If he reads he has extra glasses for it, otherwise his eyes will burn

Reads mostly magazines about architecture and daily news

He definitely is a person that reads the newspapers

Physical activity

Challenge him to a fight and he'd win easily because even though he's slim, he surely has strength in his legs and arms

Flexible as hell

Can play basketball, but you need to build up endurance with him

Took some surfboard lessons in the past, but never surely can ride a wave in perfection

Today he mostly is busy with his job and chores, that he doesn't do any sports anymore

Appartment

Messy, his appartment is quite dirty, but still okay to look at

But definetly don't go into the kitchen

He only washes the dishes once in a week

Please show this man some color, his appartment is only decorated with white and black things

The plants he has are dried out, even the cacti

But Francis's bathroom is really clean

Like really clean

If you would enter the bathroom with shoes, he'd literally throw you out

He only once all 3 months has the urge to really clean his appartment

relationships

Had gone through a divorce in his mid 20's

Since then he never really trusted anyone, except you

You finally showed him how acception feels

He's grateful to have you

And he shows it by gift giving and acts of service

Since you are there, he finally tries to get his life together

Don't expect to get many words of affirmation, because you know he's an introvert

He loves to listen to you

He'd lean on the palm of his hand with his head and slightly smiles as he listens to you yapping

Then out of nowhere, he'd say how much he loves you

When you both go to sleep, he is on the side of the wall, with his back on it

He'd gently wrap his arms around you from behind, that you back is on his stomach

It's beautiful to sleep like that, when you're the little spoon

Often kisses your hand and scalp, everytime when he greets you

His hand would look so beautiful on your forearm, covering it almost fully

Nsfw ¬> MDNI

You know what those fingers could do..

And not only his fingers

Gentle Dom and Switch

Loves to see you over him as you sit down on his dick, his slim arms holding onto you as he sits on the edge of the bed

He's a hickey guy, but not like an owner thing, he doesn't really like to 'own' you, you are an individual and he loves how independent you are

He definitely loves when his eyes are covered with a blindfold when you take charge

he would also be the type who would start to whimper slightly when you put your hand over his mouth, when he's close to releasing

And when you do, god he comes so much

He's not really someone noisy, but he knows that you like it, so you hear his heavy breaths all the time and sometimes little grunts, and as mentioned the little whimpers

You always have your hands intertwined, he just loves to press your hands

It's also a safe-word thing between you two

accidently called you "mommy" one time

Mostly would say pet names like "honey", "my little one", "darling"

When you press his hand three times fast in a row, he knows to slow down or stop if you want it

It's really important for him to know you're alright

Would try out anything you want to try out with him and he'd be honest with you when he likes it or not

Is proud of you when you take his length all in you

He mostly would fuck you in the appartment, mostly on the couch or bed

But if the kitchen is clean, then definitely there, 100%

Would say things like: "I know you like that", "show me a little more honey", "you are so beautiful", "take it a bit more", "I'll be so good to you"

Anything pt. 2

Doesn't really drink Limonade or any other drink like that

Just give him water and he'll be fine

But istg don't give him milk, he'd freak out because he can't see it anymore

He'd fall asleep first when you wanna watch a series with him, you know why

Francis finally looks relaxed when he falls asleep next to you, his head leaning onto your shoulder or head

You have so many pictures of him sleeping

Francis always buys groceries when they're reduced

Drank too much energy drinks that they don't even help him anymore

When you once gave him a rose, he literally couldn't keep it together and you bet you saw a little tear in his eyes

He immediately wrapped his arms around you and didn't let you go for 10 minutes

He is just so happy to have you

And you are happy to be someone so special to him, that he got a picture from you next to his bed

[mossyivy]

This thought just came to my head and I couldn’t help but giggle.

Imagine Chris invites Leon over to watch football on Sundays, and have a bomb ass barbecue of course; like all dads do on the weekends. But you didn’t really mind, it meant the kids would get off your back for a few hours and you could gossip with Chris’s wife.

The two of them would totally be standing by the grill, bud lights in their hands as they watched the TV outside on the patio, yelling at the players like they could hear them.

They’d hit that signature dad pose. Legs slightly spread apart, standing, arms crossed, you know which one I’m talking about.

Also they’d literally compliment each other on their barbecue and stuff. They’d spend hours just trying to smoke a brisket or something, having the typical bro talk while doing it.

- Anon! 🎀

(Chris looks like a Giants fan. No I will not be elaborating further.)

Literally can't decide which apron Chris would be wearing so here's all the options

With the middle one he'd definitely pat his wife's ass every time she walked by. She'd just stop and stare for a second and he'd point to the apron. She'd just nod and keep walking, use to his bullshit by now.

The wives would be talking about bitchy moms at the PTA as the kids play on the Redfield's giant playset. (Like think about a McDonald's play place and old chuck e. cheese playgrounds together. Just minus the child vomit and mildew smell). They're drinking wine, talking among themselves when they overhear their husbands talking.

"She's a beauty! Doesn't throw fits. Let's me do whatever I need to and I don't even need to put in much effort." You two life your heads, listening to Chris until Leon speaks up.

"Where'd you find her?"

"Street corner!" Chris's wife stands up, about to walk over until Leon's wife grabs her arm and forces her back in the seat.

"Some guy was moving and selling the old girl so I scooped her up and brought her home."

He's talking about the fucking grill...

Chris's wife sighs in relief. Feeling her heart return to her body as she chugs the rest of her wine. She was fully ready to knock some sense into that man...

Eventually Lulu walks over and wants to help her dad cook. He'd grab her little apron and make her stand by the side of the grill on a chair and hand his cheese slices for the burgers. Her apron:

To which Leon looks at Violet and asks her why she doesn't help him grill at home while she's getting one of the barrel juices from the kids cooler.

"You gonna pay me daddy?" He's stunned for a second and stares at her.

"What? Why would I pay you?"

"I was told to never do a job for a man who didn't pay me what I deserved."

"Who told you that?"

"Mommy." Leon looks up at his wife who's sipping her wine. Daring him to say a word. He just ruffles Violets he hair up.

"Good advice. Go play." His wife nods, going back to her conversation while Violet runs off.

I'd imagine the game would be a massive deal to the both of them. Like it's their teams against each other and they have a bet going. The game goes into overtime and eventually Leon's team wins and he's so excited he goes to cheer but sees his two girls are out like a light inside the living room of the house so he just tries keeping in his excitement so the kids can sleep until they finish packing up to go home.

[loveoaths]

i refuse to write luke skywalker as always rational and sunshiney and din djarin as always stoic and honorable.

because luke can be whiny and enjoys complaining and doubts himself but he keeps going and it’s his refusal to quit that gets him to the other side. and he had to learn that, that dogged tenacity, with time and experience and yoda’s help on dagobah. he wears coco chanel and could kill god but he’s too busy housing hot milk juice. he’s the greatest jedi who ever lived but he also knows jack-all shit about the legacy he carries because he got the jedi speedrun. his first student knows more about being a jedi than he does and luke feels weird and less capable because of it. he still doesn’t quite know how to feel about his biofather, his feelings change every day, and he doesn’t know if he ever will. he knows next to nothing about his biomother and no one seems to think that’s weird at all. he loves sand. he misses home. he never wants to go home. he doesn’t know where home is anymore. he wanted to be a cool hero all his life and now that he is one he isn’t sure he’d have left tattooine if he’d known what it would have cost him back then, even if he knows now it was the right thing to do. he loves quickly and deeply and it’s his greatest strength and his greatest flaw, and his love is what saves his father but dooms his nephew. he’s a happy guy, not a naive one. he knows too much and not enough all at once. he’s brave and proud and freaky and normal and laughing and groaning all at once. he is a cambrian explosion, the universe convexing and convexing into itself all at once. he’s a hick from space arizonabama. he’s luke skywalker.

and din is not always selfless and honorable or deadly and murderous. that man does some reckless as shit sometimes. like get in a concrete boat in a lava river when he had a jet pack. or nearly getting eaten by every large-to-giant animal he stumbles across. or bringing a baby to a gunfight (although to his credit, the baby usually wins the gunfight). he’s also vengeful and leaves a guy to get eaten by street ratdogs with the calm air of a man who has done this before and walks away playing with his baby while a man screams bloody murder behind him. he tries to be polite and avoids killing people he doesn’t need to, but if you step to him he will cut you down without a second thought, and he will not feel bad about it. he was going to leave a teenager/young man toro calican to die because he was annoying until he begrudgingly agreed to help him. when he was young he referred to enemy combatants as “target practice” and fucked around with xi’an so he has terrible-good taste simultaneously. he just be doing shit and surviving because he’s literally wearing plot armor. he has anxiety. he has a heart— not a big one, but an honest one. he’s practical and ruthless when necessary. he’s a warrior and a protector, a father and an orphan, a zealot and an apostate, the sword and the shield, the hunter and the hunted. he lashes out when he’s frustrated and reins himself in to get a job done. he takes no bullshit but also, yes he does. he’s faced The Horrors and takes a space ambien before bed because his middle aged back fucking hurts. he’s a little guy. that’s din djarin.

they’re both complex and weird and funny and tragic and hopeful and messy as hell and basically i’m saying they should fight then fuck about it.

[breitzbachbea]

Could you answer ALL the questions for pady

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ABOUT PADDY, I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO GET TO KNOW MY FUCKED UP OLD MIDDLE AGED MAN.

Ask Game for someone's OCs

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Babyname website, ten most popular boys names in Ireland all time. I don’t know if I picked his surname from a similar/the same site, but I must assume so. Et voilà – Patrick “Paddy” O’Neill!

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

Born on the 2nd of May 1965 in canon. He’s 48 in Irish Problems, the first story in the mainseries, which is usually the age range he also appears in in most AUs.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Ohhh, does he ever! My man used to be quite the charmer in his youth! Not really putting the love in love interest, but he had a ONS with Daisy Grey, the mother of Shane Grey, who’s part of Charlie’s gay social circle after he left school. He’s also had a few flings with Þóra, @swabianmapley’s lovely OC and one of the Icelandic subordinates. The list could go on - Ben didn't call him a louser for nothing!

But the woman he ends up dating (if I'll get this far in the main story and stick to it) is Donella Ramsay. She's a middle school physics and english teacher from Glasgow he met on a bender in Dublin, where she has relatives. It's ... an odd match, but it works out for both of them.

Shoutout to his childhood/teenhood friends Kilian MacLeod and Angus O'Malley though! I don't ship them in canon, but I love a good AU with Kilick, Padus or a Derry Trio OT3. Welcome to the worst Polycule this side of the Foyle, maybe in the entire North West.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

Honestly, I think nothing would top a good full Irish breakfast roll for this man. Something as big as his entire hand, stuffed with eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms ... only acceptable way to start the day.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Be a menace to society! No literally, he's in the mob. Right hand to Harry O'Connel, the biggest shark in the Irish tank. Aaron O'Connel, Harry's father, was who picked Paddy off the Dublin streets and offered him to work for him. Ain't much of a living with the guilt his job produces but well, someone's got to protect the kids now and make their life cushy.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

He plays the guitar! His father taught him. He also branched into other string instruments and is pretty good at the Banjo. His fiddling is good enough for government work. Needless to say, not only does he play, he also sings.

🎯 -What do they do best?

Being a calm mediator, to be honest. Everyone else always looks to him, due to his experience and Paddy's here to get shit done. Doesn't mean he's always calm or hides his emotions particularly well, but he's determined like no other and very good at both executing orders and giving orders. He's so splendid at being a father to be honest, it's a shame he never had any kids on his own, but doesn't matter - he loves Harry, Soph and Charlie to bits. Adopts every lost kid in need of a dad he can find, giving as much love as his big body can store.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Loves to be a bastard with his children, a carefree ne'er-do-well, hates that to live that life he routinely makes it worse for a hundred other families who're just struggling to get by. Paddy is filled to the brim with guilt, believes God no longer listens to him and that there's no redemption for a man like him.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Night out in the pub with friends in Derry; Kilian, Angus, a few others - and the daughter of the Orangeman who's none the wiser that his daughter is hanging with at least one Catholic and Rotten Prods and getting shifted by the latter.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Hearing about Kilian's death after the funeral already happened. Kilian's older brother Keith didn't want him there.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

It is! I rarely change designs, mostly because the hugest chunk of my characters exist solely as personality and a vague idea of a physical appearance for months, if not years. Paddy had his design pretty quickly because I had to describe him, but I love it anyways. Especially the fact that he's 2 m tall and built like a brickwall.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

I needed a right hand man for my mafia story and I knew vaguely that there's Protestants in Northern Ireland. That's it and as I learnt more and more about the actual situation and nuances of Irish history and identity, it just has made Paddy more and more interesting.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Born to be in a romantic comedy or a GOOFY heist movie, forced to be in Angela's Ashes meets The Godfather.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Cishetero man as they come, though I make exceptions in AUs for Derry Trio OT3 shenanigans babyyyy. To be fair, too, he's moved in overwhelmingly queer circles due to the job and the kids in the past years that he's not at all fazed by the myriad of gender expressions and sexualities this world got to offer.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

None! However, he has/had a cousing called Caoimhe, who he loved so dearly, pretty much like an older sister. However, after his aunt/her mother died in a bombing, the family moved away and he never heard from her again.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Very good! Both of his parents died in the 80s, sadly, but he loved them very much and they did him. They also were both rather old parents (William O'Neill was born 1917, Davian O'Neill in the early 1920s), so it's sad they died so young regardless, but not out of the clear blue sky. As I said, his father taught him how to play guitar and Davina also always looked out for her son. Paddy wouldn't have left Derry if one of his parents were still alive.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

THE GHOOOOSTS, Paddy is so fucking haunted! He has lived three lives and to not lose the third one, he is willing to dig himself and everyone a grave without a bottom. Willing to do and encourage the worst things out of a deep, deep sense of love. He lost his cousin, his parents, Angus moved to London and then a bomb wrecked his and Kili's flat, so he walked out of town, left Kilian behind who died in the mid 2000s in a car crash. He got taken in by Aaron, traded his morals for a new family and helped raise Aaron's kids. Then Freya, Aaron's wife, dies in childbirth, Aaron's other right hand Ben gets shot in 2006 and Aaron accidentally poisoned in 2009. Once again, Paddy is the last man standing. So if anything happened to Harry, his sister Sophie or Harry's best friend Charlie, he'd kill everyone and then himself. No hyperbole. His actions in Irish Problems underscore that.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Pretty much any time I work on the mainseries. He isn't in every AU and I also write a lot of one-shots/other fanfics about entirely different corners of the world that have nothing to do with him, but Paddy never strays far from my mind. Since I've been rewriting Irish Problems since 2022, rarely a month went by without writing about him.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

I've toyed with the idea of killing Paddy a lot, because he'd be potent drama. But at the end of the day, I could never go through with it because it breaks my own heart far too much.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Don't think he likes anything about bombs, but that's less of a phobia and more ... being traumatized by a civil war. He's got over his dislike of guns for the same reason, but still loathes most big guns and will not use anything automatic unless you held the man himself at gunpoint.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Ben was always the man to pick fights and hold grudges, so Paddy doesn't really have any personal nemesis or rivals. Team England can be counted as such, simply because they're Team Ireland's biggest antagonists, but he has no particular bone to pick with Arthur (unlike Harry), Robert (unlike Charlie) or Tahir.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Since 2013! "Like Father Like Son", how the entire story universe is called, was a Hetalia AU I created for an art trade. I needed human OCs for the story and that is how he came about.

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

14. Insane shit.

Here's a drawing of him done by @pyromaniacqueen!

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

I'll Keep You (My Dirty Little Secret)

Ao3

Summary: Steve buys weed from Eddie, cuz he's the best. To be honest, he's the only person their age Steve knows to buy from. Somedays he stays and smokes with Eddie. And then one day, Eddie's big mouth makes an off handed comment and things... change. For better or worse, remains to be seen.

Word Count: 12,891

Warnings: THIS FIC IS EXPLICIT!!! 18 + ONLY!! MINORS NO NOT INTERACT!!! anal fingering, anal sex, hand jobs, dirty talk... would be one.. maybe. Idk. See the ao3 link for more details. MAKE GOOD CHOICES!!!

One day, they're sitting in Eddie's bedroom in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday, smoking whatever weed Eddie had deemed worthy of King Steve. And they talk, sometimes, when they do this, have been smoking together off and on for about a year now. And Steve's complaining about something, being a little whiney. And Eddie just snorts as he literally whines about something and kicks at the bed and Eddie says,

"Jesus. You need to get fucked." And he takes a long drag before moving to hand the joint to Steve, who scoffs at him as he takes it, a little red around the ears as their fingers brush.

"I fuck. I can have any girl I want, haven't you heard?" And Eddie gives him credit. He at least sounds... self depreciating, like he knows those words are just high school bullshit. Like he doesn't believe them. Like maybe he wished people wouldn't say that shit about him. But that's not what Eddie said. Eddie lets his head fall back against the headboard, lets it fall to the side so he can watch Steve take a drag.

"That's not what I said." Eddie says. Smiles hazily when Steve turns to him slowly.

"Huh?" Is all he gets. Eddie motions with two fingers for Steve to pass it back, noting how Steve's eyes linger on his hand.

"I said you need to get fucked. Not fuck. There's a difference." His voice is flat, he takes another drag. The last one they're getting outta this one, and stubs the rest out in the ashtray on his nightstand.

Steve is staring at him. Much more red around the ears than he'd been before. Eddie just lets his head fall to the side again, watching him.

"Wha- you- I'm not- I mean I don't..." He's staring into his lap, face bright red. Eddie smiles to himself, he's so cute when he's embarrassed.

"Aww c'mon Harrington. You've never even thought about it? As much time as you spend around naked dudes in the locker room? Not once?" Eddie's teasing now, waiting for Steve to storm off, or to punch him. Maybe both. He's high, he wouldn't mind either one right now. He feels good, and riling Steve up is one of his favorite pass times.

But Steve's doesn't do either of those things. He just, glares at Eddie, flushes another shade darker, Eddie's pretty sure smoke's about to start coming out of his ears. So Eddie laughs, a small thing and bumps his shoulder into Steve's, says,

"C'mon man. I'm just fuckin with you." And shakes his head, rolls his eyes, gives Steve a break and looks away from him. But then Steve speaks, in the smallest, most unconvincing, voice Eddie has ever heard him use.

"That's not why I play sports." It's barely above a whisper. Eddie looks back at him, his head lifting a little, Steve's hands are worrying at the blanket on Eddie's bed, one knee pulled up to his chest now, and fuck, he looks so small. What the fuck just happened? Eddie clears his throat awkwardly, sits up a little, angles himself toward Steve a bit.

"Yeah? You sure?" Eddie asks, pushes, genlty. He shouldn't, probably, but he's never been good with impulse control. And then Steve is glaring at him again. Eyes full of fire, and Eddie sees his hand clenching, knows what that usually means so he keeps talking.

"Cuz if it was... or if- if you did... want that? I could probably help you out. Ya know. Teach you some stuff. I mean I'm not an expert or anything but... I don't know man you seem really uptight." He shrugs, tries to play it off.

Cuz he'd just fucking offered to what? Have sex with Steve Harrington?? Because what? He'd had a moment of sad, gay, puppy eyes, and Eddie was a goddamn softie at heart? And Eddie could trust himself to never tell a soul about it. And he knew Steve wouldn't say a word. Not ever. To anyone. And Eddie moves, slowly, toward the edge of the bed, ready to dodge, or run, if needed.

But Steve just fucking looks at him. Stares at him. His big browns eyes locked on Eddie, and Eddie can't fucking read him, not even when he's high, Steve is so fucking guarded. But right now? Steve's a fucking open book. His eyes are goddamn pleading with Eddie. And Eddie can practically fucking hear him, begging in his head, 'make this easy for me. Please.'

And Eddie's a gentleman, so he fucking does. Because he's also a goddamn idiot. Taking his life into his fucking hands here. Well, putting it into Steve's hands, really.

"We can't do it today. There's stuff you gotta like... do." He waves his hand at Steve, pauses, Steve doesn't interrupt, his eyes widen, Eddie swears he fucking nods, like he's listening, telling Eddie to keep talking. Eddie huffs, his hands shaking as he stands.

"I'll write it down. You can, do it before you come over next time and I'll- I mean we can... just do this, and I'll see you next time. Okay?" He finishes in a rush, folds the paper three times and shoves it at Steve, he'd followed Eddie off the bed, hovered behind him as he wrote.

Steve slides the paper into his pocket gently.

"Don't let anyone see that." Eddie warns, pointing at Steve's pocket. Steve nods quickly. Starts digging around in his other pocket for his wallet. Eddie grabs his wrist, cringes at the way Steve flinches a little and freezes.

"Forget it man. It's on the house. Just... I'll see you next time." Eddie lets go of him, waves him toward the door. Steve has one foot through the front door when he stops. Eddie swallows, hard, stares at him until he talks.

"Next week?" Steve asks, his voice small, Eddie opens his mouth to answer but Steve keeps talking.

"Or can I come sooner? If I- I don't... what if I change my mind?" He stammers, his eyes on the wall behind Eddie. And Eddie's heart is pounding but he fucking feels for this guy. So he walks closer, slowly, puts his hand over Steve's on the door handle, something in his chest rumbling when Steve doesn't pull away.

"You can come back whenever you want. Just not Thursdays. I have band practice. Okay?" Eddie moves his thumb over Steve's skin. Steve fucking smiles at him, and nods.

"Whenever I want but not Thursday." Steve repeats. Eddie nods.

"Good boy." He hadn't meant to say it. It just sort of... slipped. But he's so fucking glad he did. Steve makes a little noise in his throat and takes a stumbling step backwards, Eddie catches his wrist right before he tumbles down the stairs on the porch. Steve's free hand clutches at Eddie's shirt before he mutters a quick 'thanks' and bolts for his car. The tips of his ears are bright red and Eddie watches him drop his head in his hands quickly, rubbing at his face before he turns his key and speeds away. Eddie can't help the smile on his face when the guy fucking waves at him through the window as he leaves.

Eddie walks back inside, throws himself facedown on his bed, his arms wrapping around his pillow and pulling it against his face.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!" he screams it, as loud as he can, into said pillow, before he rolls onto his back. His hand resting on his chest, fingers drumming nervously as he replays whatever the fuck just happened.

"What the fuck?" He whispers to himself. What the fuck was he thinking.

~°~

Steve comes back the next day. Eddie hears his car pull up about 2 hours after he gets home from school. He peeks through the blinds and watches as Steve climbs awkwardly out of his car, his steps stumbling as he walks to the door. Eddie bites his lip, fighting a smile, and ducks down under the window when Steve starts up the stairs.

"Fuck." He whispers, a small amount of panic setting in. This was fucking happening. This was his fucking life now. He thanks his lucky stars that Wayne had odd shifts this week because other wise he'd have been sleeping in the living room. His thoughts are racing, and then Steve knocks. And his mind clears, for a brief fraction of a second his brain is just 'Steve'.

He opens the door too fast, Steve startles a step backwards.

"Sorry." Eddie grimaces. Steps aside.

"Enter." He says, giving Steve a little bow, Steve's forhead crinkles between his eyebrows but he steps inside awkwardly. Eddie shuts the door, gently, and locks it. His hands are sweating. He brushes them against his jeans and nods toward his room.

He shuts that door too. And locks it. Just to be safe. Then he twists his blinds shut and turns on just the small lamp on his desk, not sure either of them could handle this in the full light of day. Steve is standing awkwardly next to the bed, his face is turning red already and Eddie really wants to smile. Maybe even laugh. He's having a hard time believing he's causing that reaction in the King of Hawkins High.

"I did everything you said." Steve offers into the silence that's so rare in Eddie's room. And Eddie smiles then, really can't help it.

"Oh yeah. That explains the funny walk then." He crosses his arms, Steve shoves at his shoulder, his cheeks burning crimson.

"Shut up. I wasn't walking funny." He mumbles, wrapping his arms around himself. Eddie sways into his space.

"You were though. And if you weren't, you will be." He says, and once again his mouth is miles ahead of his fucking brain. He definitely hadn't meant to say that. Steve was gaping at him now, hands fisted in his jacket at his ribs.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I just- it's gonna be... I mean it'll feel different. After. Ya know?" Eddie grimaces again, wiping at his face with a sigh.

"Should I take my clothes off?" Steve asks, straight to the point. Eddie laughs humorlessly, shrugs, his hands flailing at his sides.

"I mean, it couldn't make it worse." He says, shrugging out of his own jacket as Steve shrugs out of his.

Eddie watches Steve yank his shirt over his head, and a few moments later they're both naked. Awkwardly so. Both of them standing there covering themselves, glancing at each other. Eddie takes a deep breathe and remembers he needs to take the lead here. Steve came to get fucked. Because of Eddie's big fucking mouth.

"You can lay down. On your stomach, probably best." Eddie points to the bed, finally letting go of himself and walking to the edge of it, his cheeks flush when Steve's eyes linger on him for a long moment.

He's worries he's not... big enough. Steve's dick is definitely bigger than his. But not by much. Okay maybe a few inches. And then Eddie's worrying he's not gonna be good enough. Talked a big game and doesn't even have enough in his pants to back it up. But the one or two other guys he'd been with hadn't complained. Not to his face anyway.

He gives Steve a tight smile and then nearly fucking passes out when Steve lowers himself onto the bed, his hips resting at the edge, his knees don't quite reach the floor so he's holding himself up awkwardly on his toes. And Eddie wants so badly to leave him that way, just tense and awkward and waiting for Eddie, but he can't. Not for Steve's first time. So he grabs his pillows, folds them in half and shoves them under Steve's knees. Steve gasps when Eddie's hand rests on his lower back for a moment, Steve's skin his hot. And Eddie's eyes can't stop fucking raking over his back, moles and freckles scattered everywhere, Eddie wants them in his mouth. And fuck, this is such a bad idea.

"That better?" Eddie asks, his voice quiet. Steve nods, his hands clenching in Eddie's sheets.

"Yeah, thanks." He sounds breathless already. And Eddie's only touched him once, innocently, because he'd nearly fallen over. Eddie nods, walks around to stand behind Steve, and he'd been trying so hard not to stare at his ass. Even though Steve was fucking baring it for him. Just, laying there, ready to take Eddie.

Eddie's fingers itch, twitching at his sides. His hands move, slowly, reaching out, his fingers nearly touching the skin of Steve hip when something occurs to him. He freezes, fingertips so fucking close to getting what they want.

"You don't have a girlfriend do you?" Eddie asks, his chest aching, begging, pleading, for Steve to say no.

"What?" Steve breathes, his voice muffled into Eddie's bed, he pushes himself up, onto his elbows, and looks back over his shoulder at Eddie. And fuck, if that's not the best sight Eddie's ever fucking seen. He gulps, knows he must look like an idiot, standing there behind Steve. His dick hard, hands reaching out to Steve, but not touching yet, he has the sense to drop his hands at least, when Steve looks at him.

"A girlfriend? You don't have one? I mean, I don't mind being a side piece. But the main piece needs to know about it, ya know?" Eddie moves his hands to his hips, narrowing his eyes at Steve, looking at him sternly.

"No. I don't have a girlfriend. I go out... with girls, sometimes. But not- no." Steve shakes his head, bites his lip. But Eddie believes him. He bites his own lip then, but nods,

"Okay. Lay back down. Try to relax." He tells Steve this, is also sort of talking to himself. Steve nods, does as he told. And Eddie finally looks down, bites into his lip harder at the sight of Steve's ass right in front of him. He wants to get on his knees and fucking worship this ass. But he's pretty sure licking into Steve the first time might be a little too much for the guy.

So he settles his hands onto Steve's hips gently, his eyes tracing over Steve's shoulders when they tense at the touch, his skin warm under Eddie's fingers, but he can feel the goosebumps rising under his fingers as he moves them down, toward Steve's pert little ass. He takes a deep breath, willing himself not to fucking come just from touching the guy. It's not like he's a walking fucking wet dream or anything.

Eddie shakes his head, moves his thumbs, presses them into the flesh of Steve's ass and pulls, just a little, just enough to see what he wants. And Steve whines, his shoulders bunching again.

"You gotta relax." Eddie whispers, his hands soothing back up, moving slowly up Steve's back.

"I- I'm trying. It's weird." Steve grunts. Eddie stops. Takes his hands away.

"We don't have to." He says, simple, easy. Giving Steve an out. Steve's on his back in seconds, looking up at Eddie, and his cock is hard against his stomach, it looks almost painful. And Eddie wills his mouth not to water, because Steve is looking up at him with those fucking eyes.

"You don't want to?" And he sounds... goddamn he sounds fucking sad, about it.

"That's not what I said. You just- you're very tense." Eddie shakes his head, waves his hand in Steve's general direction.

"I'm just..." Steve trails off, sits up, covers himself the best he can.

"What? Seriously. It's fine if you don't wanna do this. I get it." Eddie offers another out, not sure if he wants Steve to take it or not.

"I'm just not used to like... diving right in." Steve says, his hand moving between them awkwardly, his eyebrows and nose scrunching, and fuck Eddie has got to stop looking at that adorable shit.

"Diving... right in." Eddie repeats slowly.

"Yeah man. I'm used to like... kissing and touching and stuff. And then...the sex. This is just... I don't know it feels awkward?" Steve explains, sighing and falling back onto the bed with a groan. Eddie bites his lip and sits next to Steve on the edge of the bed. Their hips press together and Eddie fights off the shiver that the touch of Steve's skin evokes.

"Sooooo..." Eddie draws, glancing down at Steve's hands covering his cock.

"You wanna kiss me?" Eddie finishes, eyebrow cocked as he looks down at Steve, his focus moving from his hands to his face. Steve's eyes open and he sits up, looks into his lap and then scrunches his nose and looks at Eddie.

"Maybe? Would that make it weird?" Steve asks, and Eddie has to fucking laugh. Steve drops his eyes back to his lap, looking embarrassed as Eddie's laughter rings through the room.

"Dude. I was about to fucking finger you. And you think kissing would make it weird?" He elaborates, shaking his head, eyes widening when Steve's eyes snap to his face.

"You were about to-" Steve cuts off, his chest going red now.

"Well, yeah, man. Gotta make sure you're comfortable first. I wasn't just gonna..." he makes a lewd motion with his hands that has Steve barking a laugh, one hand jumping to cover his mouth. Eddie makes a 'yeah' face, and looks into own lap, realizing his own fucking cock is still hard and just fucking, out in the open, he covers himself. Pressing his lips together in an awkward smile before looking back up to find Steve staring at him.

"So kissing won't be weird?" Steve asks again. Eddie shrugs.

"I mean yeah. It'll be weird. Cuz you're Steve Harrington, and I'm me. And the other guys I've been with, which is like, two, by the way, I'm not some kind of sex god or anything. Just- they weren't very touchy feely and I made it seem like I could fuck you. Like it was just a fucking. So that's what I was trying to do." Eddie rambles, shoves his face into his hands and groans.

"So yes kissing will be weird. But if you need to kiss me, before I fuck you, then that's- I want you to be comfortable. At least... ya know... until... I don't know." Eddie groans again and falls backwards. What the fuck was he thinking? That he could just, what? Give Steve Harrington a good fucking and move on with his life. Not a fucking chance.

The bed dips beside him, and he feels Steve's fingers on his chin, he squeezes his eyes shut, tight, and Steve's fingers falter, then keep moving. They move up over Eddie's cheeks, over and down the bridge of his nose, lightly over his eyelids and across his eyebrows. Steve's fingers move over his face, until his hand is cupping Eddie's cheek, his thumb resting on Eddie's bottom lip. Then, only then, does Eddie open his eyes.

"Hi." Steve breathes, he's smiling down at Eddie, and Eddie's not sure his fucking heart can take that look. Not from Steve. His chest his pressed into Eddie's shoulder as he leans over him, impossibly close.

"If you don't want me to kiss you I won't. But, and I don't mean to brag-"

"Yes you do." Eddie huffs, smirking back at Steve when his lips curl. Steve tilts his head, a little 'yeah maybe' look crossing his features.

"But I'm very good at it. Kissing I mean." He leans closer, his hair falling onto his forehead as he presses into Eddie's space, and when had he fucking lost control of this situation???

"Just like I'm sure you're very good at fucking." Steve whispers, his breath ghosting over Eddie's lips.

"I don't about- mmpf." Eddie's mumbles are cut off by Steve's mouth. He presses his lips to Eddie's, softly, too soft. Much to soft for what this is supposed to be.

So Eddie steels himself, moves his hand to the side of Steve's face, shoves his hand up into Steve's hair and deepens the kiss. He licks into Steve's mouth hungrily, growls in his throat when Steve whines into his mouth, his hips pressing into Eddie's thigh, looking for friction, and Eddie smirks against Steve's lips. He can give him friction.

Eddie flips Steve, pushes him down into the matress as he settles on top of him, moves his hands down Steve's sides and hikes his thighs up around Eddie's waist. Steve clutches at Eddie's back, tries to pull him closer. Eddie grabs Steve's wrists and pins them above his head.

"Hi." Eddie says, pulling away from Steve's mouth, a string of spit hanging between them, Steve's pupils are blown, his pretty brown eyes almost black now.

"Hi." Steve breathes back, he's almost panting underneath Eddie. Eddie smiles, licks Steve's lips with a moan and then looks down at him.

"I'm gonna finger you now. And then I'm gonna fuck you." He tells Steve, matter of fact. And Steve's hips jump up into him as Steve nods enthusiastically, his wrists fighting Eddie's hold on him.

"Yeah. Yes. Please." Steve says, fucking whines. His hips rolling against Eddie's.

Eddie leans over, lets go of Steve's wrists and reaches for his nightstand, grabs his lube and a condom. He places the corner of the condom packet between Steve's lips.

"Hold that for me. You drop it. I don't give you what you want." Steve's teeth clamp down on the foil but Eddie doesn't let go.

"I mean it. You drop that. I'm not fucking you. Got it?" Eddie asks, giving the packet a little tug, Steve's jaw clenches, his teeth hold it tight.

"Good boy." Eddie does it on purpose this time, relishes in the way Steve flushes, his hips roll into Eddie again and he smirks down at Steve as he whimpers around the condom packet in his mouth. Eddie pops the top on his lube and gets two fingers covered before he drops the bottle next to them and lowers his hand between them. He holds himself up a bit with one hand, hovering over Steve.

"If it hurts you can tell me to stop. Okay?" Eddie says, seriously, looking into Steve's eyes. Steve nods, once, firmly. Eddie nods back and slips one finger into him.

The sound Steve makes goes straight to Eddie's cock, it twitches against the back of Steve's thigh as Steve writhes beneath him, his eyes squeezed shut tight, jaw clamped shut as his teeth hold the packet between them tightly. He pushes his finger as deep as he can, rutting his own hips down as Steve pushes up into him. Steve's lips close over the packet as he moans and presses his ass down, trying to get Eddie deeper.

"Jesus. You're so fucking needy." Eddie groans, pressing his second finger to Steve's hole, gently nudging it next to the first. Steve's eyes snap open, his fingernails digging into Eddie's shoulder. He whines, his hip stuttering but still pushing down onto Eddie's finger as he moans,

"Please." As best he can around the packet in his mouth. And as good as he's being Eddie wants to fucking hear him, wants to fucking taste him. He drops himself onto Steve, his hand reaching for the packet, his fingers clamp onto it but Steve bites down harder.

"Fuckin let go of it. I wanna fuckin hear you." Eddie growls. Steve doesn't let go. Levels his gaze with Eddie, and fucking smirks. Eddie breathes out a laugh, his cheeks dimpling as he smiles down at Steve, lowers himself a little more.

"Oh you wanna play games?" Eddie asks, his voice low. Steve eyes widen as he looks up at Eddie but he grinds his hips down, deliberately, and nods, his teeth pulling on the packet clamped between Eddie's fingers.

"Okay pretty boy. You wanna be a brat? You wanna play? We can play." Eddie smirks right back at the little shit, and does three things at once, he grinds his hips down against Steve's cock, presses his teeth against Steve's neck, and slips his second finger into Steve nice and deep.

"Ah ah! Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!" Steve lets the packet go, breathes out his words like a mantra into Eddie's shoulder as he pulls his fingers out of Steve and then shoves them back in. Eddie drops the condom next to them and moves his mouth up Steve's neck, making his way to his mouth.

Steve is panting and writing, his hips stuttering with every move of Eddie's wrist. Eddie licks into his mouth as his fingers brush that perfect spot inside Steve and Steve fucking claws at him, one hand dropping to Eddie's wrist, pulling his hand closer, sinking his fingers deeper.

"Oh fuck. Eddie right there. Holy shit. Nnnnhh!" His voice goes high as he whines into Eddie's neck.

"Yeah? Right there? That's what you want?" Eddie presses deeper, harder, his fingers curling just so. He'd decided something when Steve wanted to play dirty.

"Gonna make you cum on my fingers sweetheart. Then I'm gonna fuck you til all you can say is my name." Eddie groaned, pressing his hips down harder, his cock pressed so perfectly against Steve's burning skin. Steve's fingers on his wrist clench hard as Eddie flicks his wrist just so, hitting that spot over and over.

"Yesyesyesyes Eddie please I need it!" Steve's almost yelling now.

"I know baby. I know." Eddie hums, licks back into Steve's mouth, in time with the thrusts of his fingers, the twin movements make Steve squim beneath, his teeth sink into Eddie's shoulder as he cums on Eddie's fingers, moans into Eddie's mouth as his hands tug and pull Eddie closer.

Steve goes limp beneath him, both of them panting into each others mouths.

"Fuck. Fuck. Jesus christ." Steve pants, trying to steady his breathing.

"Just fuckin wait." Eddie pants back, his head resting against Steve's for only a moment before he slips his fingers out of Steve and pushes himself up. Steve grabs at him, tries to pull him back down. Eddie swats his hands away easily, grabs the condom packet and tears it open with his teeth.

"Un uh. Told you. You wanted to play games. Remember?" He rolls the condom on with shakey hands, Steve's eyes widen as Eddie grabs his hips and flips him over, he shoves at Steve's thighs as Steve scrambles to find purchase in Eddie's sheets. He ends up tugging one of Eddie's pillows up under his chest, tucking his face into it as Eddie moves his hips against Steve's ass, his cock moving over Steve's hole, the tip catching and then sliding past, making Steve's hips jump, pressing into the matress.

Eddie grabs the lube, fills his palm and moves his hand over himself, pumping his cock a few times before lining himself up. He bends over Steve, his hand planted beside him, holding himself up, his head resting between Steve's shoulder blades.

"You ready pretty boy? Hm? Ready to get fucked?" Eddie asks, biting into his lip so hard he tastes copper.

"Mhmm!" Steve whines into Eddie's pillow. Eddie nods against his back, moves his hand to Steve's hips, holding him down as he slips his cock into him. All the way into him, in one thrust. His hips hit Steve's ass and he moans so loud Eddie's sure the neighbors had to have heard it. It makes him wanna hear it again.

So he pulls out and then shoves back in, his thighs trembling as he holds himself together. Steve whines this time, his hands reaching back, reaching for Eddie. And fuck he feels so good around Eddie's cock, who is he to deny him. He reaches for him, tangles his fingers with Steve's, shoves Steve's hands up above his head, their fingers still tangled, and he fucks into him, hard.

His hips grind down over and over, Steve making sweet little sounds with every thrust, Eddie grunting into his shoulder as he holds Steve down with his body. His skin feels like fire where he's touching Steve, which is nearly fucking everywhere. He moves one hand down, under Steve's knee, and pulls his leg up, yanks it up and hooks his elbow under it, then snaps his hips into Steve harder.

"Ah! Mmm!! Yes! Eddie! Eddie please!" Steve clutches at the sheets with one hand, his other still holding Eddie's, their fingers pressed so tight they're likely to bruise.

"Yeah. Right there?" Eddie asks, it's not a real question, his mind is fucking blank right now. Just a mindless loop of 'fuck and steve' over and over.

"Yeah yeah yeah right there! Eddie!" He whines his name, his hips grinding back onto Eddie's cock frantically as Eddie fucks him deeper into the matress.

"Yeah. Fuck. You feel so good Steve. Feel so fuckin perfect." He thrus6t down hard then, harder. The sound of their skin slapping together is absolutely obscene, and Eddie can't fucking get enough. He vaguely feels Steve nodding, hears him agree mindlessly as Eddie fucks into him, deeper and deeper as Steve begs him not to stop.

"Please please please! Fuck Eddie more please!" Steve begs, and Eddie's fucking eyes are gonna roll into the back of his head, he drops Steve's leg and props himself up, his hands braced on Steve's hips as he fucks him faster. His name falling loosely from Steve's lips over and over like Steve is living just to say it.

"Fucking christ. So good for me baby. Cum for me. Come on." Eddie thrusts his hips down hard, as Steve clenches down on him, both of them moaning as they cum. Steve's free hand scrambling backwards, grabbing at Eddie's hip best he can, trying to pull him closer, pull him deeper.

Eddie falls onto Steve with a grunt, Steve huffs underneath him, but doesn't try to move him. They lie there, panting together until their sweat starts to cool and Eddie rolls off of him. Pulling out of Steve with a wince as Steve hisses beneath him.

"Shit. Sorry." Eddie whispers, his hand moving over Steve's shoulders as he falls onto his back next to him. Steve shakes his head and Eddie pulls the condom off, ties it, and toss it into trashcan next to his bed.

He lets out a deep breath and pushes his sweaty bangs off his head, arms resting on his forhead.

"Jesus." Steve breathes next to him, rolling over with a wince. Eddie winces in sympathy,  looks down at Steve's softening cock and sees the fucking mess he'd made of Steve and feels his cock twitch. He sits up with a laugh, grabs his boxers off the floor and tugs them on.

"Be right back." He says, glaring down at his dick, willing it to chill the fuck out. He grabs a rag from the bathroom, lets the water get warm, and then pads back into his room. Steve is standing in the middle of the room, his shirt on, looking around the floor, for his pants and underwear, Eddie assumes.

"Oh. I uh... I got you this." He says, lamely, holding the rag out. The mess on Steve's stomach is gone. He takes the rag, his ears going red.

"Leaving already?" Eddie asks, trying to sound casual. Of couse he's leaving. He'd gotten what he came for you. Don't be a fucking idiot Munson. Little too late for that, but Eddie could be a little slow, just ask his teachers.

"Well I just- you got up, so I figured..." he trails off, lifting his shirt and wiping at his stomach though it's already clean. Eddie thinks he might have used the inside of his shirt. He tosses the rag back to Eddie with an awkward smile. Eddie catches it, wipes weakly at the mess on his sheets.

"Yeah. No. That's... Yeah. Probably for the best." Eddie mutters. His skin is itchy. And cold. Wants Steve's skin pressed against his again. Steve stops, his eyes linger on the floor before they land on Eddie again. He licks his lips, clearly about to say something. But Eddie doesn't let him, it's best he doesn't let him.

"Your pants are over there dude." He points behind Steve, to the piled up khakis.

"Shit. Thanks." Steve grabs them, angling himself away from Eddie as he bends to pick them up. And it hurts. Eddie knows it shouldn't. It was just a fuck. A really good fuck. Definitely the best Eddie's ever had, or been a part of, really. He rolls his eyes at himself and looks into his lap. Fidgeting with his rings as Steve gets dressed.

"Well uh... I should go." Steve says, quietly, as he lingers by Eddie's bedroom door.

"Yeah." Eddie nods.

"This has definitely surpassed your normal weed purchase time limit." He says, trying to tease, but his voice is tight. Steve must notice.

"Yeah." He sighs, rings his jacket in his hands before pulling it on.

"I'll- see you at school." Steve says, Eddie eyes snap to him and he sees the tail end of him cringing at his own words.

"Yeah. See you at school." Eddie echoes, flatly.

"Or ya know... next Saturday?" It's a question, and if Eddie's not going completely bananas, he thinks he sees hope in Steve's eyes. And his lips are curled up just enough, the ghost of a smile. Eddie licks his lips, his teeth sink into the tender skin and he nods.

"Okay. Saturday." He doesn't give Steve a full smile, tries not to give him one at all, but one must slip through because Steve smiles back, nods once, with finality, and leaves.

Eddie waits til he hears the door close and then he follows, runs to the window and watches Steve make his way to his fucking shiny expensive car. Eddie smirks to himself as he watches the waddle in Steve's step, the way he grimaces when he sinks in behind the wheel.

Eddie turns, leans against the door and groans, images of Steve in his bed flashing through his head. His cock twitches again and Eddie glares down at himself.

"This is all your goddamn fault. Ya know that?" He points accusingly at his own dick, huffs at himself, and stalks to the bathroom. He turns the water to cold, shoves his boxers down and steps in, squawking at the temperature.

"All your fuckin fault." He mutters again, shaking his head under the water, cursing himself as he beings to shiver.

~°~

It happens again on Saturday. And the Saturday after that. And the one after that. And one random Wednesday right before spring break.

Eddie never means for it to happen. Had just planned on the once. But Steve shows up, buys weed, and then ends up underneath Eddie chanting his name like a goddamn mantra and Eddie has clearly lost control of the situation. But it's fine. It's all completely fine. Steve stays after a few times, and they fucking cuddle, and talk, and it's... fine.

Until it's not.

Steve shows up one Saturday and knocks on the door, but when Eddie steps back to let him in, Steve steps back and down the steps, his fingers twisting together in front of him. Eddie's brow furrows, he crosses his arms over his chest, bracing, for whatever this is. Steve still doesn't say anything, so Eddie does what he does best, he opens his mouth.

"You're not pregnant are you?" He asks, his voice flat. And Steve, he fucking snorts, wipes at his mouth, shakes his head, sobers again. Eddie huffs, already annoyed by whatevers about to happen.

"Just say i-"

"I asked out Nancy Wheeler. We- we're going out on friday." Steve cuts him off. Eddie digs his nails into his ribs as hard as he can. Keeps his face neutral.

"Nancy Wheeler. You're upgrading." Eddie says, the joke is full of venom. Steve flinches a little, his brows creasing, and that used to be cute, Eddie wants to slap it off his face now.

"Eddie don't s-"

"You want your weed or not?" Eddie cuts him off, doesn't care what he was going to say. Steve looks startled.

"Oh. I uh... I guess, yeah." He stammers, takes a step closer.

"Forty five." Eddie holds out his hand. Steve's eyes widen as he takes out his wallet.

"Forty five? Last week it was like...fifteen." Steve laughs, but it's tense, and he hands Eddie forty five. Eddie smiles sweetly, grabs the bag of weed out of his pocket.

"Well last week you got the fuck me discount. This week, I'm the one getting fucked. So the price goes up." He tosses the weed at Steve and slams the door in his face.

He presses his back agaisnt the door hard, breathing heavy until he hears Steve's car pull away. He slams his head back once, hears Wayne's mugs rattle on the wall and steps away from the door.

"Fuckin idiot." He mutters, shuffling down the hall to his room, he walks through the door, eyes landing on his guitar.

"Just me and you again Sweetheart." He sighs, falling back onto his bed, he raises his hand into view.

"And just me and you." He lights a joint, takes a drag, sets it in the ashtray, and shoves his hand into his pants. If frustrated, angry, masturbation was a sport, Eddie's fuck walls would be decked out in medals. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, depends who you ask, it was not a sport. And the only person who had to fucking deal with it, was Eddie. And maybe his sweetheart, but she didn't have eyes, she wasn't a part of this. Eddie dropped his arm over his face as his hand moved faster and faster, he groaned angrily as images of Steve floated behind his eyes.

"Fucking idiot." Eddie groaned again, cuming to the image of Steve underneath him, clawling at his hips to get him closer. He wipes his hand on his sheets with a huff and rolles over, covering his head with his pillow, hoping to maybe just disappear for awhile.

~°~

He sees him at school, off and on. But he doesn't come to Eddie for weed anymore. So Eddie ignores him. Takes Steve Harrington off his radar and never looks back.

He sees him with Nancy once. Watches him pick her up and kiss her and watches him smile into her neck. He definitely doesn't hide in the bathroom until the bell rings because he feels like he's gonna puke.

And then he hears whispers around school. Apparently that new asshole, Billy something, had kicked the shit out of Steve. Eddie's stomach twists when hears the jokes people make. But he doesn't see Steve at school, for almost three days. Just three days of rumors and shitty jokes and no Steve.

And then Eddie pulls up to the trailer after school to find the Beemer parked outside. Steve is leaning against the side of it, arms crossed, head down, hair hanging in his face.

He looks up when Eddie parks, dark sunglasses hiding his face. Eddie squeezes his steering wheel hard, once, to stop his hands shaking, and then he hops out of the van. He walks over to Steve slowly, scuffing his shoes in the loose gravel. Steve carefully takes off his sunglasses, tilts his head as Eddie looks at him.

Eddie makes a show of it, crosses his arms and leans forward, studying Steve's face before he whistles, long and slow as he straightens up again.

"You look like shit." Eddie says, clicking his tongue. The corner of Steve's mouth, the one that isn't bruised, tilts up.

"You should see the other guy." He jokes, emotionless. Eddie nods, eyes wide as he hugs himself.

"Oh I have. He's been at school." Eddie says, nods to the trailer and starts walking that way, hears Steve follow him, easy.

"Oh yeah? How's that been?" Steve asks, holding the screen door for Eddie as he shoves his key into the lock. Eddie swings the door open, pauses to look back at Steve.

"Well, he's an asshole. Sooo... How do you think it's been?" Eddie frowns, waves Steve inside.

"Right." Is all Steve says, his eyes wander around the trailer slowly, Eddie leans against the small kitchen divider.

"So... did you need something for the pain or...?" He trails off, his hand hovering in the air between them. Steve's eyes move slowly over to Eddie, he's got that lopsided smile going on again.

"Or?" He asks, brow furrowed dramatically as he crosses his arms. Was he... trying to be playful right now? Eddie huffed a laugh and shook his head.

"So why'd he beat you up? You say something mean about his car?" Eddie asks, ducking into the kitchen, away from that playful look in Steve's bruised eyes. Steve snorts, follows Eddie, but keeps his distance, nods when Eddie offers him a water.

"Naw. Nothin like that." Steve shakes his head, grimaces, rubs at his temple. Eddie frowns, reaches into the cabnet next to the sink and grabs a bottle of Tylenol. He pops two out, hands them to Steve.

"Here. So what was it then? Like, the dudes definitely got those crazy eyes, so what happened?" He does not shiver when his fingers brush against Steve's hand as he takes the pills.

"Thanks." He takes a drink of water, swallows, then rests against the counter next to Eddie.

"Uh. Ya know Max? His sister. Step sister. Little red head?" Steve asks, holds his hand up about where her head would go.

"Yeah. Yeah I think I've seen her around. Always has a skateboard?" Eddie asks, lifts himself up to sit on the counter. Steve nods, gently.

"That's her. Well she'd been hanging out with Lucas, I guess? And Billy had told her not to?" Steve shrugs, Eddie makes a face.

"Yeah. Anyway, she kept hanging out with him. Cuz Lucas is a nice kid. But apparently Billy's a big ol racist. And he found them together, I was babysitting. He started threatening Lucas, so I punched him. And then..." Steve waved his hand at his face.

"He kicked your ass." Eddie supplied, talking into his water bottle before he took a swig. Steve huffed a laugh and nodded.

"Yeah. That's... pretty much it." Steve sighs, shaking his head lightly.

"That's scary man. The kids okay?" Eddie asks, moving his hands slowly over his knees. Steve swallows, hard, looks at Eddie for a moment, like he wants to say something. And then the moments gone, and he just nods.

"Yeah. Yeah they're good. I honestly think Max scared the shit out of him good enough that he won't mess with them anymore at least." Steve smiles softly at the thought, and Eddie wonders what happened to him. Not the fight. But.. in the few years it's been. He's so different, smiling while talking about hanging out with kids.

"Well hey. At least chicks dig scars right?" Eddie tries for a joke, but his voice misses by a mile. Steve looks at him.

"Yeah. I guess. What about-" Steve bites his lip, shakes his head, looks away.

"What about what?" Eddie asks, head tilting, he leans forward a little, trying to see Steve's face where he's turned away.

"I was gonna say, what about you? But it... I dunno, seemed, rude?" He doesn't look at Eddie when he says it.

"Rude?" Eddie asks. Steve looks at him then.

"Yeah, cuz of... I dunno how I just sort of left, that day. And... we haven't spoken since." He shrugs, but his ears are going that deep red that Eddie refuses to admit that he's misses.

"Oooh oh oh okay yeah. Rude cuz you fucked me, vigorously, and then abandoned me for Nancy Wheeler without warning." Eddie says, his voice light.

"Ya know I'd forgotten all about that." Eddie flutters his eye lashes, and waves a hand at Steve, dismissing it. Steve laughs, a real laugh, and steps closer, into Eddie's space. Moves between Eddie's legs, his hands resting on his knees. Eddie's eyes flutter closed, he's so fucking warm. And fuck Eddie missed this, Steve touching him. Hell, he missed anyone touching him, hadn't touched anyone since Steve.

"I hadn't." Steve breathes, his nose bumping Eddie's, his hands moving slowly up Eddie’s thighs.

"No? You been thinkin about me Steve?" Eddie whispers, feels Steve's shakey breath as he shivers.

"Yeah. Little bit." Steve sighs, his hands moving to Eddie's waist, thumbs pressing up under his shirt to touch his skin. Eddie shivers now, his hands still on the counter top, knuckles white with effort to not reach out and touch Steve.

"Yeah? Even when you're with Nancy?" Eddie breathes, his nose brushing into Steve's cheek. Steve sighs, drops his head to Eddie's shoulder, but he nods.

"Sometimes. Not anymore." His hands squeeze at Eddie's waist.

"Not anymore?" Eddie asks, not anymore what? He doesn't think about Eddie anymore? Way to ruin the mood Eddie was refusing to engage in. Jeez. Steve lifts his head, looks at Eddie, his eyes roaming over his face, landing on his lips more than once, lingering.

"I think we're over. It's all bullshit." Steve says, his voice cracking, his lip trembles on the last word and then he's kissing Eddie. His mouth is hot, and adamant, and Eddie wants. But not like this. He lets Steve's teeth nibble at his bottom lip and then pulls away, his hands on Steve's shoulders, holding him back as he tries to chase after Eddie mouth.

"This isn't a good idea." Eddie whispers, his head resting on Steve's when he groans.

"I miss you." Steve says, Eddie can hear the tightness in his voice. Steve's trying not to cry. Eddie nods, his hands moving to cradle Steve's neck, he frowns.

"And I miss you. But," he takes a breath, pushes Steve away so he can see his face, look into his eyes.

"I'm not a back up Nancy Wheeler. Or a rebound fuck. Or... anything else that this could be. I don't wanna do that anymore." He frowns, drops his hands onto his knees. Steve's eyes are shining but he nods, sniffles, and turns away. Takes a deep breathe before he chugs the bottle of water Eddie had given him. Eddie hops down off the counter.

"But what I can, and will gladly do, is get you some good weed to take the edge off of all'uh that." He waves his hand around in front of Steve's face, gets a smile from him and feels a little lighter.

He hands Steve a baggie, watches him reach for his wallet and then look up Eddie, questioning.

"Twenty bucks." He says with a shrug. Steve smiles a soft smile and hands Eddie a twenty. Eddie goes to grab it but Steve holds it tight.

"What discount did I get today?" He asks, smirking. Eddie smiles at him, dimples flaring.

"Oh today? Today's the 'i feel sorry for you cuz your face got mangled by a racist' discount." Eddie wiggles his eyebrows and yanks the twenty away from Steve.

"Hmm. You give that one a lot?"

"Honestly, more often than you'd think, yeah. Rough town." Eddie answers with a straight face. Both of them smiling after a beat. Steve shaking his head and stepping toward the door.

"Thanks for this. And the pills." Steve nods, opens the door. Eddie gives him a low bow.

"Anytime. Always open to those in need." He tilts his head, rests his hands on his back as he walks toward Steve, holds the door as Steve opens the screen door. He's nodding, slowly, maybe to himself, Eddie can't tell.

He lets the screendoor fall shut slowly, stops at the bottom of the stairs and looks up at Eddie.

"I am sorry. About the way I handled that. Me and you. Ya know?" He shoves his hands into his pockets, one eye squinting against the sun as he looks up at Eddie.

"I appreciate that Steven. I'll run your apology by the counsel. Take a vote." He replies, leaning his head against the door. Steve rolls his eyes, puts his sunglasses carefully back on his face.

"You're so weird dude." He says, squinting still, through the glasses, as he opens his car door.

"But it's like, kinda charming right?" Eddie calls, hand on his hip.

"I mean... I guess. If you're into that." Steve cringes, but he's smiling by the time his butt hits the seat. He gives Eddie a little two finger salute as he pulls away. Eddie grinning to himself as he walks back to his room. He catches sight of himself in the mirror, past his sweetheart, big dopey smile on his face.

He's so fucked.

~°~

They still don't talk. Steve doesn't come by for more weed. Well, they'd talked once, when Eddie and Wayne had stopped by the mall, just to check it out. Eddie wanted to see the new record store, and the sweet tooth he and Wayne shared had required ice cream.

Eddie's brain had nearly short circuited, seeing Steve in those fucking shorts.

But Steve had also gone that pretty red color Eddie loved so much. It clashed terribly with his outfit but Eddie was gonna be day dreaming about it for months.

He'd been working with one Miss Buckley,  Eddie had band class with her last year. They'd been banned from sitting together their third week in, but they still snuck in good quality time when there were subs, or they had movie days. They were insufferable, Eddie missed her.

But apart from that, he doesn't see Steve much. A few times around town, but Eddie avoids the mall like the plague, opting for the small shops, dnd meetings, and band practice instead. But Steve doesn't show his face again. And Eddie tries not to be annoyed. He's the one who pushed Steve away after all.

And then the mall burns down.

And Steve Harrington shows up at his door two days later covered in bruises, and stitches. Asking very quietly, if he can come inside.

"Uh... yeah. Shit, yeah." Eddie steps back hurriedly, the rain falling outside soaking Steve's hair and jacket. Eddie watches him run his fingers through his wet hair after he hangs his jacket by the door. Steve looks around.

"Wayne at work?" Is all he says. He's... different. His hair is longer, but it's not that. His shoulders look heavy. And behind the bruises he looks tired. The kind of bone deep tired you don't get from a mall fire. Eddie nods, and then nods again, toward his room.

He stands in the doorway, leaning against it, and watches as Steve gingerly lowers himself to sit on the edge of Eddie's bed. He doesn't say anything. Just very carefully takes off his shoes.

"What the hell happened to you?" Eddie asks, not able to not say anything any longer. Steve sighs, deep, and looks up at Eddie.

"Mall fire." Is all he says, flatly. He pushes himself backwards, situats himself in Eddie's bed like he belongs there. Eddie nods, crosses his arms, and walks fowards.

"Bull. Shit. It was a mall fire. Have you seen your face?" He leans forward for emphasis.

"Yep. I have. But thank you for reminding me." Steve's voice is still flat. But he's not giving anything up, and it... is so annoying. Eddie feels his blood starting to boil, is about to start ranting about how Steve had just left, again, and never come back. And yes that was technically Eddie's fault, a little, but they had definitely flirted when he was leaving! And now he's here, just showed up looking like he'd been put through a meat grinder, and is acting annoyed at Eddie, who had kindly let him in out of the rain!

But Steve looks up at him before he can get started, his eyes wide, and tired, his hand reaches out, lifting off the matress slowly, palm up.

"Listen, I know I have no right to ask this, but could you just... sit with me? For awhile?" His fingers wiggle as his bottom lip trembles and Eddie can't stop himself from reaching out to him, taking his hand and sitting on the edge of the bed, leg tucked up under him as Steve absent-mindedly plays with his fingers, spinning Eddie's ring around and around, the same way Eddie does when he's nervous, or fidgety.

"Are you okay Steve?" His voice is quiet. Steve shrugs, doesn't say anything.

"Is... is Robin okay? The kids? Everybody?" He asks, he'd seen them all on the news, being packed into ambulances, before they stopped showing that footage. And Eddie wasn't stupid. He knows there's something else going. Something else going on in this town. But he doesn't ask that, doesn't think Steve could talk about it, even if he wanted to.

He shrugs again, his fingers shaking against Eddie's. Eddie covers his hand with his, holds it tight.

"Tell me what I can do? What do you need?" He crawls closer, his knees pressed up against Steve's thighs, his wants to brush the hair out Steve's face, but the ends look like they're stuck in some of the dried blood on his face and he doesn't wanna hurt him. Steve just shakes his head. His eyes have a far away look.

"Do you wanna take a shower?" Eddie asks, his eyes still on that dried blood on Steve's head.

"I uh... I don't know. I don't-" Steve trails off, his eyes moving finally, slowly, to Eddie.

"I don't know." He says again. Eddie nods, squeezes his hand.

"Okay. We're gonna get you a shower. Get some of this blood off. And then you can sleep. You can sleep here with me. Long as you want." His lip trembles as he helps Steve off the bed, but he bites his lip. Holds the burning sensation in his throat until they're under the spray of warm water.

Steve is covered in bruises, his back, his chest, his legs even. His skin is a fucking collage of bruising. Eddie washes him gently, doesn't use a rag. Just his hands. He soaps up Steve's hair, gently.

"Sorry it's not fancy shampoo. It's gonna ruin your beautiful mane." Eddie jokes, sniffling as he moves his fingers gently over Steve's scalp.

"S'fine. Smells good. Like you. N' it feels nice." Steve's eyes are closed. Until he hears Eddie sniffle again. Steve squints at him, through the soap and water, and grabs Eddie's wrists, moves his hands from his hair and wraps his arms around Eddie's waist. Pulls him close and then moves them both under the warm spray of water. Letting the soap run out of his hair, and down his back as they cling to each other.

"It's okay Ed's. I'm fine." He mumbles it into Eddie's shoulder, his lips soft against the skin there. Eddie holds him gently, trying not to squeeze him too tightly and hurt him.

"No it isn't. Look at you. I- what happened Steve?" His voice is high, almost a whine as it leaves his throat. Steve's hands move over his back.

"Shh. I'm okay. That's all that matters." Eddie tries to argue, tries to fight Steve on this, tell him it's not okay. But Steve kisses him. Deeply. Holds him close and kisses all of Eddie he can reach.

"Eddie will you-" his voice cuts off, his hips pressing into Eddie as he presses Eddie into the wall of the shower.

"Steve. No. You need to rest. Your heads all-"

"Eddie please." Steve begs, pulls away to look at him, with big sad eyes.

"I need to feel something good. You make me feel good. Please." Steve moves his hands to Eddie's waist, his fingers digging into the skin there.

"That's not fair." Eddie groans, his hands moving up over Steve's shoulders, his fingers moving nimbly around bruises. Steve ducks forward, his lips brushing Eddie's, wet and warm when he whispers.

"I'm not trying to play fair." He smiles when Eddie rolls his eyes.

"Ugh. Fine. But if you die in this shower, you're paying for my therapy. And buying us a new trailer." Eddie concedes as Steve hums in agreement, latches himself onto Eddie's neck, his tongue on Eddie's throat making him shiver.

"A double wide. Nice and spacious." Steve kisses up his neck.

"Anything you want." He agrees against Eddie's mouth.

"Anything I want." Eddie sighs, his hands moving down Steve's back.

"Anything at all. Just touch me Ed's. Please. Miss your hands on me." He whispers between kisses, his hands in Eddie's hair now, holding him close. Eddie groans, moves his hips into Steve's and then moves his hands down, slides them between them.

"Anything you want Steve. Wanna make you feel good." Eddie pants, Steve's hips fucking into his hands perfectly. Steve moves one hand down, curls his fingers around Eddie's cock and just, holds him, the way Eddie likes.

"Always do. Make me feel so good." Steve breathes into his skin as Eddie drags him over the edge.

They lay in bed after, both only wearing boxers and a t-shirt, all of them belonging to Eddie. Fresh and clean. The dried blood is gone from Steve's head, leaving just the cuts and bruises. Eddie moves his hand through Steve's hair as he lays beside him, Steve looking up at him with big, warm, eyes. He seems more coherent now, more with it.

"Thank you. I needed that." Steve says, his head nuzzling into Eddie's fingers. Eddie smiles down at him.

"Needed what? The shower or the orgasm?" Eddie bites his lip when Steve smiles, all dopey and goofy.

"Yeaaah." He sighs dreamily. Eddie shoves gently at his face.

"Idiot." He rolls his eyes. But Steve catches his wrist and pulls Eddie close, down, so Eddie's chin is resting on his shoulder.

"Seriously. Thank you." He moves his hand up Eddie’s arm, up his neck, into his hair, cups the back of his head. Eddie just nods, feeling like he might cry again.

"Sure. I- I didn't know what else to do." He admits, his fingers tangling in his own shirt on Steve's chest.

"You did great. It was perfect." His eyes are drooping now, eyelashes fluttering as he tries to keep his eyes open. Eddie moves his hand, trails his fingers down over Steve's face, it makes him smile, his eyes falling shut.

"Go to sleep. I'll be here if you need me." Eddie whispers, curling closer to Steve.

"Always need you." Steve mumbles, and he's alseep now, talking nonsense, saying things he won't remember in the morning. But Eddie holds the words close, and holds Steve close, and does his best to try and sleep.

Sleep never comes. But Steve leaves. He wakes in the middle of the night, maybe 2 am. And Eddie lays there, pretends to be asleep. And listens to him shuffle around quietly. He thinks he hears paper rustle but he's not sure. He just lays there, and lets Steve leave, his heart aching in his chest.

He counts to three hundred after he hears Steve's car drive away and then turns his lamp on. Stands up and walks to his desk. The writing is messy, and lopsided, it's hard to write in the dark. But the note is nice. At least Steve tried.

'I am so sorry. I had to leave. I forgot my parents are coming back tomorrow. Today? I don't know. But if I'm not there, they'll lose their shit. If they notice... but I can't risk it.

Thank you.

Again.

I'll be back.

-Steve'

There's a crooked little smiley face at the bottom. The note makes Eddie's chest ache for a different reason. He goes back to bed, and finally drifts off to sleep.

~°~

They don't tell anyone. Both of them acting annoyed when Dustin mentions the other, biting their tongues and pretending they don't know each other. And it's... easier. Eddie guesses. Easier than telling a group of kids and risking losing them. Eddie's pretty sure none of them would care.

Steve comes to his trailer every Saturday. Wayne knows about them. He has weekends off now. So they all hang out and watch movies, Eddie and Steve curled up together under blankets. They almost always fall asleep before the movie ends. Wayne jokes about them being old men.

And then Chrissy dies.

And Eddie runs.

And they find him in the boat house, starving and scared. And he doesn't even register that it's Steve he has shoved against the wall until Dustin is yelling at him. Robin giving them both worried looks. Her eyes jumping back and forth between him and Steve until Steve gives her a stern look.

The kids don't catch on. Nancy does. Sees the way Steve's worried. His eyes darting to the walky anytime Eddie calls them. And the way he runs when Eddie tells them he's as Skull Rock. She sees it, and it... makes sense. She'd seen Steve watching him once, in the cafeteria, he'd been up on a table, yelling about something, and the other boys had looked annoyed, or disgusted, but not Steve. Nancy swore she saw him smile, before he noticed her looking and hid it, looked away. But it made sense.

And then Eddie almost dies. And Dustin, he watches Steve carry Eddie out, get him to safety. Watches him frantically try to hold Eddie's blood inside his body as it flows out over his hands, Steve screaming as Eddie's hand, clutching at his arm, goes limp.

Dustin watches him sit with Eddie, every day, with him and Wayne. Watches the way Wayne drops a blanket over his shoulders, ruffles his hair, and tells him to get some rest. He watches Steve beg Eddie to wake up, tears in his eyes as he clutches his hand to his face, whispering into his fingers. And he gets it.

"You love him." Dustin says one day, after watching Steve struggle to read to Eddie for half an hour. He takes the book from Steve, settles his hand over Steve's shaking one. Steve doesn't even try to deny it. Just nods, keeping his eyes on Eddie. Always on Eddie.

"I don't understand. I thought you didn't like him. That you barely knew him." Dustin says, his voice quiet, pondering, peicing things together in his brain as he speaks. Steve shakes his head.

"I lied. We both lied. We've- we've been together awhile. I- was scared to tell you guys. I didn't wanna lose you. Any of you." Steve shakes his head, frowning as he moves his thumb over the back of Eddie's hand, his eyes still not leaving him.

"You wouldn't have lost us Steve. We love you. Both of you." Dustin rests his hand on Steve's shoulder.

"Yeah." He scoffs, a bitter laugh leaving him as a tear falls down his cheek.

"That's what Eddie said. But I was too scared. So we kept it a secret. I kept him a secret. And now he's-" Steve sobs, and Dustin is on him in an instant, holding him close. Steve sobs into his chest so hard that neither of them hear the change in heart rate on Eddie's monitor. But they do hear,

"Did somebody die?" Eddie's groggy voice ask. Steve gasps, and turns back to Eddie, it looks like it's taking everything in him to keep his eyes open as he he blinks heavily at them.

"No. No we're all okay. Max got hurt, but she's healing. She's doing good." Steve says in a rush, grabbing Eddie's hand and holding it to his mouth, kissing his fingers as Dustin cries and holds his other hand. Eddie nods, frowns.

"Wayne?" He asks, Steve nods.

"He just left. He went to get us food. We've been here for ages man. He was tired of hospital food." Dustin says, scooting his chair closer. Eddie smiles, a little hum leaving him.

"Course he did. Hates... hospital food." Eddie sighs, deep in his chest, and is asleep again. Dustin looks across the bed at Steve, grinning.

"He's okay." Dustin breathes. Steve nods, Dustin nods back, more enthusiasm building as they smile at each other.

"He's okay." Steve laughs, and laughs and laughs. Both of them jumping up from their seats, hugging each other and laughing. They're still crying when Wayne gets back, smiles shining on their faces.

"What is it?" Wayne asks, setting the bags of food down, his hands shaking as his eyes roam over Eddie.

"He woke up. He's okay. Asked where you were." Steve says, choking a little on the lump in his throat. Wayne's lip trembles then, and he's bending over the foot of the bed, his hands holding Eddie's feet as he cries.

"I leave for ten damn minutes." He mutters, half laughing, half crying, and then Eddie's feet twitch in his hands and he looks up to see his nephews eyes on him. His face scrunched up.

"Tickles." Is all Eddie says, and then Wayne is hugging him, crying into his shoulder as Eddie cries into his, both of them clinging to each other.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Eddie sobs, clawing at his uncle's shoulder the best he can.

"It's okay. Your okay. That's all that matters." Waybe says back, soothing Eddie's hair gently, Steve and Dustin holding each other as they start crying again.

~°~

Eddie and Max are in the hospital for about a month, before they let them go.

Max is in a wheelchair, with the hope of walking again someday. She can see, a little, not great. But it's something. Her and Eddie have a running joke that maybe if he bites her she'll get echo-location, like a bat. Dustin doesn't find it funny.

Eddie's covered in scars but otherwise alright.

They've got a new trailer. A double wide. Two bedrooms. Eddie shows it off to Steve like he's a realtor. Everyone brings a mug from home as their house warming gifs for Wayne. He gets flustered and has to go outside for about ten minutes. Comes back in wiping at his face, grumbling about allergies.

After the kids are gone, and Wayne 'retires to his room'. He says that every night now, it makes Eddie laugh, every. single. time. Steve stays. Doesn't wanna go home. His parents had made it back home fine. But they just,

... didn't care about Steve. So he didn't care to be there. He wraps his arm around Eddie's shoulder, pulls him closer on the couch. Leans his head back and looks at him.

Eddie notices and shakes his head, frowning. Steve moves his fingers into Eddie hair, his eyes flutter, he leans into the touch.

"Don't." Eddie says, quiet. Steve sighs, brings his hand to Eddie's cheek, the one without the scar. Eddie won't meet his eyes.

"Hey." Steve says, Eddie refuses to look at him.

"Ed's come on. Look at me." Steve bites his lip, watches Eddie shake his head, the smallest amount of movement.

"I told you I don't-" he cuts off, rolls his eyes, swallows hard. He's trying not to cry. It happens a lot these days. Steve smiles, takes Eddie's hand, brings it to his lips, kisses his knuckles.

"You don't want me to look at you? Ever again?" Steve asks, kissing into Eddie's palm, up over his wrist, his lips leaving a trail of goosebumps along Eddie's skin. Eddie pouts, being dramatic now, and shrugs.

"Maybe. Maybe you'll just have to close your eyes." Eddie huffs. Steve can see him wanting to cross his arms, but he hasn't yanked his hand away from Steve's kisses yet.

"Oh yeah? What about when I take your shirt off? Gonna make me close my eyes then too?" Steve teases, scoots closer, kissing up Eddie’s shoulder now. Eddie freezes, turns to look at him.

"Why would you be taking my shirt off?" He sounds... genuinely confused. Steve stops kissing him, his brow furrowed, he glances toward Wayne's closed bedroom door.

"Umm... so I can see you naked. And have sex with you and stuff." Steve says, trying to keep it simple, because Eddie seems to be struggling with this concept currently.

"Sex. You're thinking about sex." Eddie says, his hands moving over his thighs nervously, wiping his palms. Steve shrugs, shakes his head.

"I mean, just then, all I was really thinking about was kissing. But... you uh... you don't seem to be on the same page as me right now. So that- that can wait." Steve says, keeping his voice calm. His hand moving to settle over Eddie's.

"Why would you wanna kiss me right now? I have ointment all over my face. It's- I'm-" he cuts himself off, eyes wide. Steve looks at him, widens his own eyes.

"You're what?" He asks, with a tone. He knows exactly what Eddie was gonna say. Eddie shakes his head, his eyes darting away from Steve again.

"You're gross? Is that what you were gonna say?" Steve knows he sounds mad, he can't help it. He's not mad at Eddie, he's just, mad at Eddie's brain. They've had this conversation so many times now. Eddie shrugs.

"I am. I'm all slimey. And this ointment smells so gross. It literally turns my stomach Steve. I don't feel sexy." Eddie huffs, dabbing at his cheek with his sleeve, then full on wiping, rubbing at the ointment smeered there, tears welling in his eyes.

"Hey hey hey." Steve calms him, uses his own sleeve to clean Eddie's face, the scar on his cheek is red, and angry. Steve sooths his fingertips over it gently. Eddie pulls away. Does cross his arms now.

"I'm covered in scars Steve. It's not-"

"I'm covered in scars too! I mean," he waves his hands at his body,

"They're everywhere. I'm covered. We match, remember?" His voice softens, there are still tears in Eddie's eyes as he shakes his head, rolls his eyes at Steve.

"It's not the same." He huffs, wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"How is it not the same? Ed's some of them are literally the same." He rests his hand on his side, one of the matching scars they have. But it doesn't help.

"Because! Even with the scars you're still beautiful! And I'm just-" he bites his lip, clamps it hard between his teeth as he looks at Steve, his eyes wide, and guilty, and full of tears. Steve tries to move closer, Eddie shakes his head. Steve mirrors him.

"I don't understand." Steve's voice is small, he genuinely doesn't understand, and he knows it's hurting Eddie, that he's frustrating him, he just doesn't know why. Eddie sighs, his teeth digging painfully into his lip.

"Because you're beautiful. And I'm not, Steve. I'm not. I mean I never was, but now I've got this." He moves his hand like he gonna slap his face and Steve grabs it, clutches Eddie hand to his chest.

"But you are." Steve says, slowly, that confusion still tinting his voice.

"Steve-" Eddie starts to shake his head, to pulls away. Steve pulls him closer, squeezes Eddie's hand.

"You are." He says again, adamant. But he can see the doubt in Eddie's eyes, sees that he wants to roll his eyes again, to deny it.

Steve surges forward, crashes his lips to Eddie's, cradles his face gently as he calms, sweetens the kiss, smiles into it when Eddie makes one of his little pleased noises. He moves then, kissing over Eddie's cheek, pressing his lips gently to the scar there, peppering gentle kisses all over it until he makes his way down to Eddie's neck. There are scars here too, and Steve takes his time, presses his lips to every inch of them until Eddie is shivering and whimpering in his arms. He kisses back up, finds Eddie's lips again and growls,

"Take your shirt off." Low in his throat, licking across Eddie's bottom lip, making him gasp as he pulls back, away from Steve.

"Wha-"

"Take. Your shirt off." Steve repeats, his voice stern. Eddie gulps, but reaches for his shirt. Steve helps him pull it over his head, tosses it across the room and immediately attaches his mouth to Eddie's chest, kissing over the scars here the same way he had the one's on his face and neck, light kisses, feather soft, so he doesn't hurt him, wouldn't dream of that.

His lips reach the unblemished skin of Eddie's stomach and he presses his tongue against him, Eddie arches up into him.

"Steve." He breathes, quiet, his hand grabbing at Steve's hair. Steve smiles into the soft skin of his stomach and then bites down, not hard, just hard enough to suprise Eddie.

"Jesus Christ!" Eddie gasps, yanking Steve up by his hair to glare at him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Eddie hisses, but his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are more black than brown, Steve smiles, crawls on top of Eddie, slides his hand over Eddie's unscathed cheek, presses his fingers into Eddie's skin hard,

"I love you. And you're beautiful. And I'm-"

"Insatiable." Eddie supplies, before he blinks owlishly.

"Wait you- you love me?" He whispers, forehead creasing in a frown. Steve bites his lip, looks a tad bashful. But he nods.

"Yeah. I really do. I've got it bad. I love you Eddie Munson." He breathes, his thumb moving over the corner of Eddie's mouth. Eddie doesn't say anything, just stares, blinking at Steve. He gulps, feels Eddie's heart pounding against his chest.

"Do you... do you not-"

"No I do! Of course I do. Fuck sorry. My brain just like, short circuited there, of course I love you. I love you so much it's, like, genuinely terrifying sometimes. I love you. I love you!" Eddie grabs Steve's face and kisses him, Steve laughing as his outburst, Eddie was almost yelling now.

"I love you too!" Steve said, matching Eddie's volume and almost yelling into his mouth. Eddie cackles, let Steve press kissing into his cheek again, holding him close, his hand in Steve's hair.

"I love the paid of ya, but if you don't shut up I'm tossing y'all out on your asses for the night!" Wayne's voice carried through the walls to the living room.

"Sorry Uncle Wayne! Love you too!" Eddie called back as Steve stiffled his laughter in Eddie neck.

"Would you shut up. You're gonna get us kicked out." Eddie hissed, but he was pressing kisses into Steve's hair. Once he composed himself he leaned back, untangling himself from Eddie and looking him in the eyes.

"I really do love you." He says, serious. Eddie nods.

"I love you too." He presses a soft kiss to Steve lips and then drags him up, and into Eddie's bedroom. They tangle back together under his covers, Eddie wrapped around Steve like an octopus, his arms wrapped around Steve's middle, holding him close, his face shoved into Steve's hair, just breathing him in.

They lay there, in silence, for a few moments, hell, it could have been hours, Steve could never get enough of it. And then he feels Eddie smile into his neck.

"What?" Steve asks, he can't not. Eddie snorts, nuzzles his nose into Steve neck.

"Told you you needed to get fucked." Eddie whispers, his fingers tickling at Steve's ribs. Steve barks a laugh and slaps his hand over his mouth, both of them cringing, waiting for Wayne to shout again.

Nothing happens.

"Ya know what?" Steve whispers back.

"And don't get used to this, because it's rare. But you were right." Steve teases.

"Hey! I am right at least 50 percent of the time around here." Eddie says, indignation in his voice, Steve opens his mouth to argue but,

"BOYS!"

"Sorry Wayne! We're sleeping now!" Steve calls back.

"Yeah sorry! We love you!" Eddie calls, Steve twists around and clamps his hand over Eddie's mouth, he makes a little "hey!" sound, muffled but readable. They can hear Wayne laughing through the wall. Steve smiles at him, brightly, moves his hand, kisses Eddie quickly, just a peck, and then twists back around, snuggling into Eddie's arms as he pulls him close.

Steve is nearly alseep when he feels Eddie's teeth sink into his shoulder, he just manages to catch the yelp that escapes him in the crook of his arm, then he groans, dropping his head back down on their pillow.

"You're so weird." He whispers, nudging his elbow back into Eddie. He just pulls him closer, smiles into his shoulder.

"Hmm. You like it." He hums. Steve sighs, sinks back into Eddie's warmth,

"Yeah. I do. Kinda charming." Steve teases, wiggling his hips back into Eddie. Eddie just meets him half way, pressing his hips into Steve's ass with a,

"Told ya so." As he snuggles closer.

"Yeah yeah." Steve grumbles, turns himself in Eddie's arms, buries his face in Eddie's chest, and breathes him in, as Eddie wraps his arm up over Steve's head, pulling him closer as they both drift away, Eddie's smile pressed into Steve's perfectly messy hair.

[corrodedcoughin]

Omg thanks to your "Eddie throws himself a funeral party" post I literally cannot stop thinking about Stripper! Steve. (absolutely no pressure to do anything with this btw! I'm just aaaa! at your idea)

Like omg. Did Steve get into stripping bc he got cut off and disowned by his parents and desperately needed any job that would take him? Did he seek the job out bc he thought it'd be fun? Why should he be ashamed of exercising, entertaining, looking hot, dancing, and then getting paid to do it??? Fuck yeah

Side note the image of best friend Robin stealing a pair of Steves clean tearaway pants bc she wants to know what it's like to rip them off is very funny to me. She has them on over her jeans. She's had a glass or two of wine and is standing in the middle of Steve's living room awkwardly trying to rip off a pair of tearaway pants that are far too big for her

AHAHHA!!! Please come join me!!! There’s enough stripper Steve for everyone! Funny story Robin actually got the call handler job first through a college friend but obviously platonic soul mates cannot be separated so Steve applied for a job there too. He wasn’t fussy about position, just handed his CV in and hoped he’d get to keep working with Robin.

The employers took one look at Steve when he came into the office and told him he has hired. As a stripper. He took a moment to adjust but thought if it means he gets to work with Robin, he’d do it. (That’s what he tells people, the truth is the ego stroke at the immediate job offer was enough to sway him. He thought it would be a fun job and he was tired of retail).

And Robin plays with ALL the stock! She’s got horrendously ugly nipple tassels that she stuck to Steve’s chest and they both ended up almost crying trying to take them off him without waxing his chest (Robin tears might have been from laughter shhhh). She’s got a feather boa that she loves and wears in the office because she feels it gives her a ‘better phone voice’ nobody’s argued with her yet.

As soon as Steve finished any gig he’s on the phone to her, giving her the run down of any drama or funny stories. She gets a little worried when she doesn’t hear back after the Munson party, tries to call the person who booked and gets Eddie on the phone ‘hello, Eddie’s fun funeral, Gareth speaking’ and Robin thinks she must have the wrong number, she must have written something down wrong but all her records tell her she’s right???

‘Hi. Um…im sorry, this is going to sound so insensitive and im so sorry but…did you hire a male stripper for your event?’ Robin is smacking herself in the face as she says it. Knows she’s going to get in trouble from her manager

‘Sure is! Can’t spell funeral without fun! He’s a little busy with the man of the hour though’ she can hear laughter and loud music through the receiver. Steve is stripping at a funeral, for the dead guy?

‘Ummm I’m sorry but I don’t think company policy allows for stripping for corpses. I’m going to have to refund your booking. Please send Steve back’ Robin is way out of her depth. What the fuck is going on? How did she let this happen?

‘Ah no dude he’s alive, very alive by the looks of things. And sos your employee. I dont know who’s having a better time to be honest’ Gareth sounds sane but Robin doesn’t know if she can really make that call over the phone for a guy who books strippers for funerals where people aren’t dead.

[chevvy-yates]

[PAST_YEARS]_31102049 scharfenberg_g_portraits_timelines.file ///core:_ryder_von_scharfenberg.file\\\

⚠️ READ: Please do not repost/reupload any of my art here or to any other platform, or I will be forced to do anything to get it annihilated.

—

RYDER'S BACKSTORY (short version)

—

Ryder was born in Frankfurt am Main, Hesse, Germany on the 31st October 2049 with the given name Gilbert, into a wealthy Corpo family. Before he moved to the NUSA at the age of 16 together with his parents and an older brother, he lived a few years in Berlin where he came into contact with the Rave scene for the first time. He was raised in strong German Corpo manner from childhood on but he always felt he didn't belong in this life since he was never able to please his father, who is a high ranked businessman, nor do him any justice in fulfilling his tasks just right.

In 2070 nearly at the age of 21 his life reached a point where Ryder decided to finally set a cut and leave this toxic family for his own good. He was dealing with heavy depression for years, not being able to be who he wanted to be and felt like a failure leaving him with low self-esteem. Thanks to his interest in everything military Ryder stood in contact with an old Fourth Corporate War veteran living outside of the city, he met at a diner a few years prior. The old man offered him shelter for the time being before Ryder went back to live in the center. He was also offered to work for him. So he took jobs like protecting something of importance or kept thugs away together with a bunch of retired military officers but also civilians who didn’t want to deal with corporations like Militech and Kendachi anymore. During the next three and a half years Ryder also learned to shoot, different skills and tactics, all pathing the way for becoming a merc.

His entire look changed — he added tattoos and scarifications (to cover mostly scars his father gave him) and more cyberware to completely cut with his former Corpo life, and so he blended in with the middle class instead. During that time, in 2071, he ran into a guy named Vijay Steyr at a Depeche Mode Party. The two hit off with each other well and soon a relationship formed between them that lasted about a year. Their breakup had a reason with both sides agreeing it was better to stay friends instead. Ryder needed a bit more time to get over it, though, since he became very attached to Vijay, who plays an important role in Ryder’s life. 

They rarely saw each other during that time with Ryder being mostly busy with his job anyway. In 2074 however, the contact with Vijay is thriving again and he gets offered to join Jackie’s and his team. From now on Ryder got stuck on Vijay again: they became best friends over the past few years and Jackie’s death in 2077 only fastened that bond. 

One day Vijay starts talking about some guy he met and who he thinks is the Golden Demon of Kabuki and Ryder does not believe V, instead is making fun of it, because there are literally demons walking around in NC everywhere since it’s a fashion style. But after he gets to meet the mysterious guy who seems to surround his bestie all the time lately, even appearing at their jobs, he starts believing him. Ryder does not trust Arki at first. He can sense there’s something about the guy that is odd, but Vijay trusts him — and Ryder trusts V, so he accepts Arki with a certain grudge. Will these two Scorpios get along on the journey finding out about Arki’s past?

—

FYI: Ryder is my second created oc but not game V. I’ve always intended to make him a supportive character and love interest for Vijay since I was unhappy with the romance options until suddenly Arki jumped out of the dark bringing all the past events of cyberpunk 2077 already with him. Problem solved.

Thank you for reading. <3

[plothooksinc]

SB10? Also Chapter One?

So greedy! :o

SB10 is Snowblind Chapter 10! Back to Rurouni Kenshin, in which a wolf and a hitokiri on opposite sides of a war find themselves begrudgingly working together for the sake of survival in the middle of winter-blizzard conditions with an agreement not to try murdering each other until they reach the edge of civilisation and the winner can feasibly get home without bleeding to death on the way. Things got complicated along the way by the two of them stumbling across a slaughtered family and both of them being honourable enough (on either side of a war) to think that the army deserters responsible should probably die for it. And then I dropped an avalanche on their heads.

And then I didn't update for 13 years and left everyone with that cliffhanger--

Image courtesy of the ever awesome @varethane I totally hung onto this for 16 years hush-- ANYWAY. I finally updated and the last published chapter had Saito pulling Kenshin out of a snowbank and being super pissy about it, not the least of which being that Kenshin just hallucinated him as Kenshin's ex-wife. What is his life, honestly.

SB10 is the aftermath of that and is not very long thus far, but I have made a start on it, because my MO for writing until this year was literally pecking away at things a sentence at a time. So it is coming. It's worth saying that it's one of my favourite fics, because it so full of snark and also, I think, the best fight scene I ever wrote. Nothing like two deadly killers playing cat and mouse in a forest amirite-- Also the fic I sat down and resolved to stretch my writing legs with, so chock full of bleak winter descriptions, survival tricks, and awful grey area politics.

---------

He surfaced often, to varying degrees of discomfort.  The awful pressure on his chest was gone, but it still hurt to draw in breath, fire stabbing down his sides and the cold air burning his throat.  In the moments when his fragmented thoughts came together long enough to approach lucidity, he wondered if this cold, pain-speared moment would be his last.  

What were fleeting moments of seeing the grey, snow-swirled sky above him became dark warmth, an orange glow that blurred his vision, and the scowl of a man who piled him unceremoniously with blankets that were still very faintly damp - dry enough to not chill him.  None of it made any sense to him.  Even if they weren't enemies, he couldn't fathom why Saito would bother to haul him out of the snowdrift and back to relative safety.  The wolf was pragmatic, surely.  Why not let the snow finish the job?  

He would ask.  If he could piece the words together.  If the scowl stayed sharp enough in his vision for longer than a moment before it slid away in the haze.  If it didn't hurt.  It occurred to him, vaguely, that what Saito's reasons were may well be moot.  He could still die here, wrapped in blankets and fading piece by piece.

It wouldn't be an unwelcome death, but for the fact that he promised.

Kenshin curled his fingers blindly into the wool and resolved to be stubborn.

[...man. Kenshin and Leo have a lot in common right now, lmfao. I really need to stop hurting my blorbos.]

I'll get to Chapter One in another post.

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

[incorrectbatfam]

Stepmom!Selina?

She sees what she's getting into from a mile away, but she welcomes it because Bruce's kids are a part of him, and she loves all of Bruce.

The kids all see it coming too, and while some (Damian) take longer to warm up to her, she's welcomed into the fold with open arms.

Selina's got a heart as big as her partner and while she's not always perfect, you can see how much she cares.

As a former foster child herself, Selina understands Duke's unique experiences and traumas from the foster care system, so whenever he needs to talk, she's the first one he goes to. Sometimes he doesn't want to (or need to) talk, so they'll watch boxing matches or she'll teach him little bits of Mandarin. If the kitchen isn't busy, they'll try their hand at new TikTok recipes, and film themselves either succeeding or debunking the original poster.

Being raised in isolation to be a human weapon meant Cass missed out on a lot of the things daughters typically learn as children/teens. The evening of Cass's first gala, she didn't know the first thing about doing her own hair and makeup. She's braved assassin armies, but her self-made disaster of bobby pins and eyeshadow nearly drives her to tears. Selina swoops in, wipes Cass's face with gentle reassurances, and walks her through step-by-step.

Selina considers it a privilege to have watched Dick grow from the spunky little Robin to the man he is today. Even though he's taller than her, she still ruffled his hair when he does a good job. She also keeps the first ever birthday card he gave her, which includes a pop-up bat signal and scented stickers, and remembers all of his favorite radio stations. Also, when Bruce does something, Dick goes tattling to Selina.

For a while, Carrie mooched off of her siblings' Netflix profiles, but everyone got tired of her messing up their algorithm and she was forced to make her own. She soon realized how much freedom she had because no one could see what she was watching. Selina caught on to the power trip and started researching and watching snippets whenever a new show comes out. That's how she stopped a bunch of preteen girls from watching Squid Game.

Tim often gets overlooked as not just the middle child, but the child who appears put-together and regularly takes on adult responsibilities. Selina, however, remembers that he's still a teenager. She regularly checks in and gradually teaches him that it's okay to let go and act his age. Selina encourages him to call his Young Justice friends outside of missions and take small acts of rebellion against Bruce. When Tim and his boyfriend snuck out to a famous lover's lookout, Selina gave them the car keys and covered for them.

She noticed that Jason really enjoys hanging out with Harley Quinn, bonding over not just Joker trauma but other shared interests like music taste. After Harley turns to the antihero side, Selina discusses with Bruce and they start inviting Aunt Harley and Aunt Ivy to dinner. The first time they do that, Harley is so excited that she baked a three-layer cake just for Jason. Literally, in strawberry frosting, it said, "THIS CAKE IS FOR JASON ONLY." Finding someone that Jason can relate to remains one of Selina's proudest accomplishments.

She's trying her best, but she makes mistakes too. For instance, although Wayne Manor has plenty of kitchen space, Selina does her cooking at Harley and Ivy's because Ivy can offer her fresh plant-based ingredients that suited Damian's needs. When Alfred's not available, she sends Damian to school with healthy, flavorful vegan lunches shaped into Cheese Viking characters. One time, she was tasked with bringing brownies to a PTA meeting. Incidentally, Harley was simultaneously baking a... different kind of brownie for a block party (you can see where this is heading). When an angry superintendent demanded to know who was responsible, Selina wisely kept her mouth shut and thankfully, so did Damian.

Cullen loves concerts, but he's a huge introvert who gets anxiety when he's left alone in a crowd. Selina becomes his concert buddy, and she'll go as all-out as he does. Sometimes that's showing up to a garage band dressed-down in hoodies and sunglasses. Other times it's painting their faces and looking like they just came out of a Hot Topic blowout sale. She even listens to the discography beforehand so she can blend in. Selina learns a lot about Cullen through this, because nothing says more about a person than the music they listen to.

Harper, though looking rough around the edges, turns into a giddy little kid at interactive science museums. During one of these trips, Harper got distracted by the giant Newton's Cradle so she didn't notice a fourth grade field trip sweeping up Selina. When they reunited at the gift shop, a chaperone had given Selina a school t-shirt and she was put in charge of grading ten kids' assignments. Harper laughed so hard that she spewed lemonade on the museum owner. Neither of them will let the other live that day down.

Selina and Barbara openly talk about guy stuff, and Selina is more than happy to offer advice in times of need. They're both pretty liberal talking about that stuff, and one time they did a tier ranking of all the Gotham Rogues based on how effective their gimmick is (Joker was the only S-tier). They then proceeded to get into a debate on whether or not Man-Bat and Killer Croc should qualify for the list, which led to them staring each other down at dinner while the other family members sat around them confused.

Steph's school offered a Mother's Day breakfast. Although Crystal Brown was doing her best and wanted to make it, she was scheduled a double-shift that the breakfast fell right in the middle of. Selina reached out to Crystal and with permission, went in her place. Afraid that Steph would publicly reject her, Selina sat in the parking lot for ten minutes as Bruce amped her up over the phone. Steph, thinking that no one would no up, was ecstatic and said that she couldn't have thought of anyone better. They enjoyed stacking up waffles and making the girls who bully Steph envious.

Long before she and Bruce got married, Selina made it clear that she would not be relegated to the gender-typical role of a homemaker, and Bruce happily concurred because it's 2021. They knew that to give Alfred a break, they'd have to take on some chores themselves. Instead of dividing up a boring old chore chart, they find ways to make cleaning fun and collaborative. They'll dance around the halls in mop slippers, play "guess the stain", and race their roombas. The kids see this and start modeling the behavior in their own ways—Dick swings from high places to dust them, Damian trains his pets to pick up garbage, and Cass and Duke compete to see who can clean the most bathtubs.

Some parts of the Manor are due for redecorating, so Selina and Alfred make a day trip out of interior design sketches, flipping through furniture catalogues, and looking at paint swatches. It sounds boring at first, but the menial tasks meant they had plenty of time for conversation, and she finally understood why everyone respects him. They also made room in the afternoon for a stroll through the park and afternoon tea, where he told her and her only the secret to a perfect scone.

The other Justice League partners welcome her into the group too. Whenever Selina's in Metropolis, she joins Lois and Ma and Pa for Sunday brunch where they share what their kids have been up to. Iris shows her life hacks to cooking large batches of food in a short time. Selina and Dinah discover an online store dedicated to selling vigilante gear and go on a Cyber Monday spree for their whole families. Steve Trevor, Diana's partner, teaches Selina how to fly with the invisible jet so she can surprise Bruce with the batplane.

After overcoming their initial conflicts, Selina and Talia hold a high amount of respect for each other. Talia sees Selina as not just a capable combatant, but a worthy partner to her former beloved and stepmother to her son. Selina, after spending all that time with the kids, understands the motherly love that Talia holds for Damian and makes it abundantly clear that she would never try to replace Talia in the boy's life. Regardless, looking after all those kids is hard, so they are very much open to the idea of co-parenting.

(Selina doesn't know it, but all this makes Bruce fall in love with her all over again.)

[illegal-spiegel]

“Mr. Coffee-Shop-Hotshot”

Pairing: Hikaru Hitachiin x f!reader Genre: fluff, angst, smut Warnings: jealous and possessive Hikaru, unprotected sex (wrap it up), a dash of degradation, choking, and I think that’s it lmao Summary: You’ve been dating Hikaru since high school but that doesn’t stop him from getting jealous of your coworker at the coffee shop Word Count: 4.1k words  A/N: characters are aged up!! Prompt #72 from my 1k Followers Event: “You’re Mine.”

You and Hikaru have been sweethearts since high school. The thing is, when you two first started dating, no one thought it was going to last, seeing as how you two were literally enemies until Hikaru kissed you to shut you up. After that kiss, you two avoided each other until Kaoru tried talking to you while pretending to be Hikaru. You weren’t blind though. You could tell it was Kaoru instead of his twin. You played along until the end though, only revealing you knew it was really him until he got his point across. His point was “I’m sorry for treating you so poorly. I’m just not very good with feelings and I didn’t know how to face you after the kiss without arguing with you.” You figured that Kaoru wouldn’t say something like that unless Hikaru felt that way himself. So, you grew a pair and talked to Hikaru after he was done with the Host Club. 

“It appears I’m going to be the man in this relationship.” was the first thing you said to him, to which he scoffed at because A. if anyone is going to be the man, it’s him and B. who says you two are in a relationship? 

You just kissed him and that easily proved your point. From then on, you two started dating, to everyone’s surprise. Just because you two were dating though doesn’t mean you two stopped fighting. While everyone else has their honeymoon phase, you two went right to the old married couple stage. They weren’t ever serious fights though. One time you two argued about who had better eyes. Hikaru couldn’t admit to you that it was definitely you and you couldn’t admit to him that it was actually him, so you both claimed that it was yourselves. 

After that phase ended though, you two went into the honeymoon phase, which just confused everyone, including you and Hikaru. Suddenly, him leaving his used cup on your bedside table didn’t bother you anymore. You’ll just bring it down with you when you go downstairs. Hikaru realized that he didn’t mind you having your clothes thrown out in every other direction in his room anymore. His maid will just clean it up anyway. No harm done. 

The honeymoon ‘phase’ was more annoying to everyone than the old married couple phase. Now, instead of you two arguing who wants the last piece of candy, you two are ‘arguing’ about who gets to kiss who last. It makes everyone gag. Honey senpai seems to think it’s really sweet though. 

That was four years ago and now, you two are just as bad now as you were back then. Everyone, luckily and unluckily, decided to go to the same university. It is way out of your price range but that wasn’t going to stop your boyfriend of four years from getting you to go there. “I’ll pay off all your bills, babe. Don’t worry,” he’ll always reassure you despite your worries and nagging. You refuse to let him pay for it all though, so you got a job. 

It was actually pretty easy to nail the job, seeing as how it’s at the coffee shop where you and the gang always went for energy boosters and to study. You were already friends with the manager from going in there so much, so when you asked if they were hiring, they practically hired you on the spot. 

Hikaru didn’t like you having a job though. 

“Why do you even work here? I can pay for everything, babe. You don’t have to worry about it. So why don’t you just quit? I miss hanging out with you,” he complains every time you leave for work, when he shows up to your work, and when you come back to your shared apartment. His argument, in your royal opinion, is stupid. If anything, you see him too much as it is. I mean, you already live with the guy and have half of your classes with him. What more does he want from you?

It took him a month to finally accept the fact that yes, you will pay for things yourself, and no, you are not quitting just because he wants you to. Once he realizes that you can secretly give him free coffee though, not that price ever mattered to him, he was happy. “Okay, but I also want a free muffin,” he finally agreed. 

It was like that for maybe half a year before new problems started to arise. Your boss hired a new guy who you don’t even know the name of yet but, oh, Hikaru hates him already. “I don’t like him. He smells like too much Axe body spray and he has a weird, purple piercing in his eyebrow. And! And, he has a tattoo. A tattoo! Who does he think he is,” Hikaru complains to you while you try to do homework. He had gotten your schedule mixed up and when he went to go see you on your day off, he ran into the new guy. You weren’t surprised that he could tell he’s new since Hikaru is practically there as much as you are. He knows everyone and, of course, everyone loves him. 

Not this guy though, apparently. 

“When he gave me my coffee, it tasted off! Then, I realized, he didn’t add sugar! I didn’t say anything about sugar!” he continues to rant, making you sigh and set your pencil down. You turn to face him now, placing your hand over his and soothingly rubbing your thumb over his smooth skin. 

“Baby, I’m sure it was an accident. He’s new, remember? I’m sure he just forgot to add it,” you reassure, giving his cheek a kiss once he takes a deep breath and lets it all go in one breath. 

“Fine. I guess you’re right. But if he messes up again, I won’t hesitate to say something next time!” You giggle at this and nod your head, giving him a proper kiss this time to relax him even more. 

“Okay, baby. You do that,” you tease before going back to your homework. This, of course, was just not okay. 

“Babe, we’ve been studying for hours. Let’s take a break,” he coos, moving closer to you and starting to place kisses along your neck. You try to ignore him and focus but your boyfriend knows you too well. Knows your body too well. 

“You mean I’ve been studying for hours. You’ve just been talking and playing on your phone,” you tease, a gasp ripping from you when he sucks and nibbles on your sweet spot. You feel him smirk against your skin, his hands coming to squeeze your thighs. 

“Fair point. Makeout with me a little and then, and only then, will I study,” he bargains, making you roll your eyes. 

“Fat chance,” you decline him as you playfully push him away, making him whine loudly. 

“But baby—”

“No. Study and then, and only then, will I makeout with you,” you bargain right back, a smirk of your own coming to your face. 

“You’re wicked,” he says with a dramatic gasp and a hand across his heart. When you don’t reply or even react, he groans before finally picking up his pencil. “Fine! You better take your shirt off too then,” he snaps before focusing on his work. Most of your study sessions go like this. 

The next day at work, the new guy, Ritsu, came in in the middle of your shift. Your boss introduced the two of you once he put his stuff away in his locker, the guy seeming nervous for his next shift today. You smile at him and shake his hand, reassuring him that you’ll help him out today. He seems to relax at this, thanking you before starting to get to work. Whenever he had a question or messed up, you were right there to help him. The day, overall, went pretty smoothly you think. 

At the end of your shifts, he grabs his things from his locker before walking to the front with you. “Do you need a ride home?” he asks as he walks over to his motorcycle. You smile at him but shake your head, taking your phone out of your pocket to check your messages. 

“No, that’s okay. My boyfriend is picking me up and taking me out to dinner. Thank you though!” you reply with a sweet smile, Ritsu flashing you a smile back as he climbs onto his motorcycle. 

“Okay, good. I didn’t want you walking home alone at night. I heard there was a robbery a couple of roads away from here,” he explains as he pulls his helmet on. 

“Oh yeah. It was at the corner gas station. That’s so sweet of you to think of me though. I’ll be sure to let you know if I ever need a ride!” you thank once more. He nods as he turns the vehicle on, bidding you farewell with a salute before pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road. 

You check the time and see that you have a few minutes until your boyfriend gets there. Luckily, he seemed to have left early because, within the next minute, he’s stopping right in front of you. “Well, hello there, good lookin’. Do you need a ride?” he playfully flirts. You hum and pretend to think about it as you walk over to his window. 

“Well, I don’t know. Are you going to show me a good time?” you playfully flirt right back. He hums as he happily lets his eyes trail over your body despite your hideous work clothes. He didn’t seem to mind them though. 

“Oh, you have no idea, baby. Don’t tell my girlfriend though.” You scoff as you burst into a fit of giggles, lightly hitting his arm before going to the passenger side. 

“Well, that depends. Am I prettier than her?” you reply, batting your eyelashes at him as you slide into the car and pull your seatbelt over your body. He hums and nods his head, putting the car in reverse as he replies. 

“Oh, most definitely. She’s like a fat cow,” he jokes, making you scoff and hit him again. 

“I don’t think your girlfriend would appreciate you saying such things about her. What if I decide to tell her what you said about her?” you argue, crossing your arms over your chest as if you’re mad at him. You know for a fact that he’d never cheat on you. You always tease him that he’s too obsessed with you. ‘I love you! I’m not obsessed with you! There’s a difference!’ he’d always argue to your joking jab. 

Before he can leave the parking spot, he stops the car to look at you with this new glint in his eyes. “What if I eat you out so good that you can’t even remember your own name, let alone mine?” he whispers right into your ear, his tongue licking around the shell of your ear. You let out a shaky breath, not expecting his sudden change in this little game you two were playing. 

“I doubt you’re any good,” you sass, it lacking the power that you want it to have. He pulls away from the side of your head to make eye contact with you again, his eyes shining with a newfound lust. 

“Well, I’ve only ever been with my girlfriend, so it’s possible. You should hear the way she screams my name though. She’ll cum three times from my mouth and fingers alone before I even give what she really wants inside of her,” he says lowly, your eyes moving to watch his lips as he talks. You press your legs together, already starting to feel arousal bubbling low in your gut. 

“Is she any good in bed?” you decide to ask, bringing the attention off of him. You wait for him to say something along the lines of ‘no, she’s horrible’ but it seems he decides to stop playing your little game all of a sudden. 

“She’s better than good. She sucks me off like I’m a popsicle and she just got out of the desert. She’s always so desperate to unravel me but I never do only because I know it works her up even more. She then starts acting like a brat, trying to get her way. We both know that’s just her way of annoying me to the point that I punish her. Mmhm, her screams sound so good when her face is shoved into our mattress,” he replies, his voice dropping an octave or two. You gulp at this, feeling your panties dampen with your slick. 

“No wonder she’s your girlfriend,” you whisper, your throat suddenly too dry for your liking. He only hums before continuing with his driving, grabbing your hand and kissing the back of it once you two get on the road. 

“What do you want to eat? I’m kind of in the mood for Mexican,” he says to you as if he didn’t just make you so horny that the only thing you can think about is having him inside of your mouth instead of food. 

“That sounds fine,” you say softly, trying to think of anything but that. He smirks at the way you sound, which is slightly wrecked, and starts to head in the direction of a Mexican restaurant that you two like. That night ended, of course, with him deep inside of you and grunting out all sorts of deliciously dark things into your ear. 

Things continued on like normal for a while. You went to work but didn’t get to work with Ritsu again for a week, so Hikaru never ran into him again. The day you did work with him though, he seemed to be struggling more than usual. So, when there was a break in customers, you decide to ask him what was up. 

“Sorry. I got into this fight with my girlfriend, Mei, this morning,” he explains, a frown hanging heavy on his face. You nod your head, only too familiar with that feeling. You and Hikaru don’t have serious fights a lot but you, obviously, have them just like every other couple. 

“It’s okay. I understand. Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I can give you my opinion or some advice?” you offer, wanting to help him feel better. He thinks about your offer for a moment before sighing and giving in, starting to tell you everything that had happened that morning. You two occasionally pause to help a customer but always end up focusing back on his situation. As a woman yourself, you look at his story from her point of view and figure out what might be the cause of her frustrations. 

“Okay,” you say once he finishes his story, “I think I see what the problem is.” You then tell him what you think and what he should do to mend their relationship. After hearing your advice, he realized what he did wrong and gets so excited that he hugs you. 

“Thank you so much! It all makes sense now! No wonder she was so upset! You’re seriously a lifesaver! I owe you one!” He hugs you tightly, making you giggle and return the hug. 

“It’s no problem at all,” you reassure. You two pull away when you hear the bell ring, automatic smiles coming to your face to greet your new customer. Your eyes widened when you saw your boyfriend instead though. A very angry and brooding boyfriend at that. “Babe? What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t going to be here for another hour?” you ask confusedly, walking around the counter to give him your usual hug and kiss. 

His eyes are on Ritsu though. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you not want me here? Am I interrupting something?” he snaps, his eyes squinting at Ritsu as he says this. Your brows furrow at his words, stopping in front of him and dropping your arms since it’s obvious that he’s not going to give you a hug. 

“What? Well, I’m working but—”

“Oh, sorry to bother you then. I’ll let you get right back to it,” he snaps, turning his glare to you before leaving without another word. He doesn’t stop or turn around when you call after him either, making you sigh as a frown comes to your face. 

“What’s up with him?” you mumble, trying to think as to why he would be mad. That’s when it hit you. You hugging Ritsu? Did that upset him? But why? You hug guys all of the time. Well, not all of the time. And then again, they’re his friends too or your family. You snap out of your daze when the bell jingles again, signaling a new customer. You sigh and go back behind the counter, smiling and greeting the customer happily. Guess you’ll just have to talk to him about it later then. 

When you get off work and you get back home, you find that Hikaru isn’t home. You think back to what he was telling you yesterday, remembering him telling you his plans for today. You check the time on the microwave before looking at your fridge for any notes. He doesn't have any plans right now that you are aware of and he didn’t leave a note telling you where he was going or when he’ll be back. Maybe there was an emergency? That just makes you worry more though.

You let it go with a heavy exhale, trying not to read too much into it. You don’t have to know where he is every second of every day. 

You go to your bathroom to take a shower and get the smell of coffee off of you. You end up accidentally using his body wash though, the smell of cinnamon and ginger filling your nostrils. It’s not your favorite but it’s what he’s been using for years. He pulls off the smell really well though. 

You step out of the shower and wrap yourself up in a baby blue towel, leaning against the sink to look at your skin in the mirror. After applying some lotion to your body to make you feel extra nice, you leave the bathroom. You stop at the door though when you find Hikaru sitting on the bed, his feet still on the floor and his hands hanging between his knees. Now you’re even more concerned. Normally, he would’ve jumped at the opportunity to take a shower with you but now he won’t even look at you. 

“Hikaru,” you call out softly to him, seeming to bring him out of his daze. You walk over to him and come to stand in between his legs, making him sit up straighter. His eyes glaze over your bare collarbones and neck, something spurring to life in his eyes as water droplets cascade down your soft skin. 

“You’re mine,” he says suddenly, his eyes snapping to yours. Your eyes widen a bit at this random declaration, your brow raising curiously at him. 

“What?” is your brilliant reply to him. You gasp when he stands and switches your positions in a flash, the back of your knees hitting the bed before you fall back onto it. You gape up at him, your hands clinging to the front of your towel. 

“You heard me. You’re mine!” he growls, his hands snagging your towel away from you before you can even attempt to stop him. His eyes wander your body, a dark look in his eyes as he takes his sweet time admiring your naked body. 

“Hikaru,” you breathe his name, goosebumps crawling over your flesh. He hums in response, one of his knees coming to the bed so he can lean over you, his fingers starting to trace random lines and patterns into your skin. 

“That’s right. Say my name, baby,” he coos, his fingers coming to tweak your nipples. You moan his name in response, back arching up into his hands. He watches you with attentive eyes, not daring to look away from your lewd expressions or wet hole for even a second. He loves how quickly you react to his touch, your body always craving his as much as his craves yours. “Who do you belong to?” he asks as he crawls completely over you, staring into your eyes as he lets his hands crawl down your body. 

“You,” you whisper breathlessly. 

“Who?” he growls, suddenly shoving two of his fingers into your drooling heat. 

“You, Hikaru!” you cry, back arching when he slips a third finger in. He hums lowly as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, scraping the pads of his fingers against your g-spot to get you really moaning for him. 

“That’s right, baby. You’re all mine, now and forever,” he whispers before pulling his fingers out, making you whimper. He brings his dry hand up to your throat, squeezing it lightly as he stares into your eyes. “Shut up! Dirty whores like you don’t get to cum until I say so,” he hisses, not letting your neck go as he uses his other hand to remove his pants and boxers. “‘M gonna fill you up, remind you that you only belong to me,” he mumbles, his hand frantically trying to pull his member free. 

Your brows furrow at this as you bring your hands up to his chest. Before you can question him though, he starts to push into you. You both groan in sync as he slips inside, your eyes rolling back into your head for a moment. You forget about his words for now, your brain only thinking about the way he feels inside of you. 

He just barely bottoms out before he’s already pulling back to thrust back in, starting a frantic pace. You moan his name loudly, your nails lightly scratching his chest, causing him to hiss. He keeps up the frenzied pace, your breasts bouncing with each thrust. 

You both cum almost at the same time, Hikaru finally giving you permission to cum after denying you your orgasm over and over again. He keeps true to his word, pushing deep inside of you and coating your walls white. He stays inside of you for a while, his chest heaving as he tries to get air back. He slowly releases your throat, and instead brushes his fingers against your cheek. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his eyes shining with regret. You’re confused for a moment, thinking that that’s some of the best sex you’ve ever had. Then you remember his words from before, how he kept saying you’re his and that no one is going to take you from him. 

“What’s going on, my love?” you whisper, still a little breathless. He looks away from you, starting to worry his lip between his teeth. 

“Don’t leave me for him,” he whispers, and if you weren’t just a couple of inches away from him, you wouldn’t have heard it. He pulls out of you then and moves to lay beside you, putting his back to you. 

“What? Hey. Hey, look at me,” you say worriedly, pushing yourself up onto your elbow as you use your free hand to gently trace random shapes into his back. It takes him a minute but he eventually turns onto his back, staring at the ceiling instead of you. “What’s all this ‘leaving me’ talk about? We’ve been dating for years, Hikaru. Why would I want to leave you for someone else?” you ask with furrowed brows, starting to run your hand through his hair to help soothe him. He leans into your touch, his eyes finally meeting yours. Despite your reassuring words, he looks scared, worried. 

“What about Mr. Coffee-Shop-Hotshot? You seemed to like him a lot,” he grumbles, his mouth turning into a scowl just at the thought of the man. You can’t help but smile at how jealous he is, your heart swelling with the amount of love you hold for the man before you. 

“You dope, he was asking me for advice about his girlfriend. That hug happened because he was thanking me for basically saving his relationship,” you inform, a smirk on your face as you watch the realization come over his face. 

“Oh,” he squeaks out, his face turning sheepish and red. You snort and move to lay your head down on his chest. 

“You’re such an idiot. You should know by now that you’re the one for me, idiot and all,” you tease, gently rubbing his chest and abdomen. He huffs and wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly to him. 

“Whatever. As if you wouldn’t get upset if I was hugging another girl,” he accuses. 

“You act as if another girl would even come near someone as ugly as you,” you tease, obviously joking. 

“Hey!”

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[ttuesday]

Hi! Could you do one where the fellers take care/react to a reader who has depression and is having a bad day/few days? Thank you! <3 <3 <3

I hope you get through this slump anon, honestly I’ve felt the same way too recently but I’m sure we’re both gonna get through this wave of bad days <3

Arthur

Arthur noticed your change in mood after the first day. He could tell something was off but he didn’t want to push you for answers. He had asked you if you were ok and you’d always reply saying you were fine, though that was an obvious lie. 

After a few days and seeing no improvement in your mode, Arthur decides to push you a little more. This time after you said you were yet again ‘fine’, he sighs “You sure? You seem down lately”. He isn’t great with his words and scared of saying the wrong thing.

He knows that whenever he feels down that saying around camp can do more harm than good, so Arthur suggests you go stake out Cornwall’s factory with him for a mission. Nothing much happens but giving your mind something else to focus on certainly helps.

If you do decide to tell Arthur about how you’re feeling, he stays quiet and nods along to everything you say. Even if you only tell him a small bit, he feels honoured that you trust him enough to say it and he makes sure you know that no matter what, he’s always going to be there for you.

Charles

Charles could tell from your demeanour that something wasn’t right. It’s the little things Charles picked up on, like how you now had to force a smile more often or how you always seemed distracted during conversations. 

Charles overheard a few of the others asking if you were ok and you always gave the same answer so he didn’t bother asking you that question again. Instead he asks if you’ll go hunting with him. He tells you how he needed an extra pair of hands acts totally casual .

After a nice ride through the forest and some relaxed conversation, Charles leads you through to a small opening where he apparently saw some deer. He hopes being out in nature and away from everyone will help your mind relax.

He doesn’t push you to talk about how you feel, Charles just wants you to have a good time and to have a genuine smile on your face. If you want to talk about your feelings then Charles is happy to listen and try to come up with solutions but ultimately he just wants you to have a good day.

Dutch

It took Dutch a few days to fully realise you were feeling down but he does notice it eventually. First he just presumed that you were feeling down because a job didn’t go to plan but he got worried when you’re mood didn’t seem to lighten.

His first approach to trying to cheer you up is by giving you materialistic goods. Dutch surprises you by giving you a shiny new pocket watch he just so happened to ‘find’ somewhere and he even gives you some money form the donations box and tells you to buy yourself something nice.

But Dutch can see that his plan didn’t work. Sure materialistic items are nice but they didn’t change how you were feeling. It’s times like this Dutch is happy he has Hosea to give him some advice on how to help you.

While the gang is distracted serving up dinner, Dutch pulls you aside and says “I know you haven’t been yourself lately and I know I can’t make you talk to me but if you ever feel like chatting, I’m always here for you”. He doesn’t want you to feel forced into talking but Dutch wants to make sure you know he’s there.

Micah

Micah knows this sounds kinda creepy but he likes to keep an eye on you when you’re in camp. So because of this, it’s actually pretty obvious to him when your mood changes.

When he tries to get you to open up first, he’s very abrupt and straight out asks you what’s wrong with you. But when he realises this method only pushes you further away from him, he attempts to take a more relaxed and calm approach.

When he sees you’ve trailed off by the edge of camp, Micah follows you out with two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. He’s always found it easier to talk when he’s had a drink and he’s hoping you’ll feel the same. 

He doesn’t expect you to tell him all about how you feel but if being there and occasionally annoying you works as a distraction from that dreadful feeling, then he’s happy to do that. He wants you to feel like you can tell him things like this, even though he understands he ain’t the most trustworthy person out there.

John

John can be kinda awkward at times and sure, he doesn’t know how to have those deep emotional conversations but he cares about you and genuinely wants the best for you.

He tries to be subtle about it and says little comments every now and again like “Well you know where I am if you wanna talk” or he’ll compliment you throughout the day, just to make sure you know how great you are as a person.

But when he sees you’re not feeling any better, he starts to worry. On the outside it’s easy to see John as someone who doesn’t notice the change within you but the truth is John sees it but he’s scared that if he brings it up, he’ll accidentally make it worse. 

In the end, John goes with what he feels in the moment. Seeing the sad, drained look on your face, John’s almost sure his heart is breaking. Sighing, he holds out his arms and says “C’mere”. John hugs your for as long as you need, not daring to let go first. Sometimes you’d be surprised how great a hug can be.

Javier

Javier likes seeing your smile. It’s the one thing that’s guaranteed to make his day better. One of his favourite things in the world is making you smile, especially since it gives him that butterfly feeling in his stomach. So he’s recognises when your smile seems too forced or as though you’re smiling without genuinely feeling happy.

Javier sits with you and reminisces about old memories, hoping stories of goofy robberies that somehow didn’t get ye killed would make you smile. And it works! …but only for a little while.

Javier knows that this feeling comes and goes, and that sometimes it can seem like it’s in the background of your mind for weeks. When he first left Mexico, he had strong feelings like this too so he knows how each day can differ and how the feeling fluctuates.

But Javier tells you he’ll be by your side for all of it. He wants to be the shoulder you cry on and for the nights that seem long and dark, he’s there. He lets you rest your head on his lap and Javier hums a few songs as he runs his fingers through your hair.

Bill

We all know what Bill is like. It can take him a while to understand how you feel but the main thing is he tries to help in whatever way he can. At first he thinks that you just feel sad over something. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal and Bill just thinks the feeling will fade in a few days. But it doesn’t.

Something that always helps Bill destress and forget about life’s problems for a while is playing with Cain. He’s convinced that dog has superpowers cause Bill’s in a good mood whenever Cain comes around. One day when Cain comes over to Bill for some belly rubs, Bill gets you to join in too.

You spend the rest of the afternoon with the two of them, using Bill’s bandana to play tug of war with Cain and laughing when Cain flops down on Bill, tired from all the games. 

As ye relax, Bill distracts you some more by telling you a few stories, like when he drunkenly mistook a cow for his horse. Bill doesn’t care if he has to tell you a thousand stories and pet a thousand dogs with you, if it’ll make you smile again then he’s willing to do it.

Sean

Sean wants to be the most helpful person ever. He wants to be there for you through it all, holding your hand each step on the way. Seriously, when Sean sees the shift in your mood and notices you aren’t your usual self then he holds on to your hand and doesn’t plan on letting go anytime soon.

Anytime you want to talk, Sean has no problem stopping whatever he’s doing and giving you his undivided attention. You’re so goddamn special to him and he’s scared of losing you, so he puts 110% into making you feel more comfortable in yourself.

Whenever Sean hears about a robbery or sets up a job, he always brings you along, whether you wanna go or not. He doesn’t think staying around camp all the time is good for you so whenever he goes out, he drags you out with him for a change of scenery

Does Sean know what he’s doing or if he’s helping you overcome this? No, he’s just winging it but this man will literally do anything if it means getting you out of this slump.  

Hosea

This is Hosea, of course he notices when you become more reclusive and depressed. Hosea’s a strong believer in love and support helping people get through anything, and so that’s what he gives you. 

It doesn’t matter where ye are, what time of day it is or if you’re in the middle of a shootout, if you need Hosea then he’s there to reassure you and tell you everything’s going to be alright.

He understands how it can be hard to talk about things like this and how sometimes it feels like you can’t put your emotions into the right words. If you try to talk about how you feel but start to get upset, then Hosea stops you and instead suggests you just sit with him for a while and wait for the feeling to pass.

He never tries to pressure you into talking and if anyone gets pissed off cause you’re not ‘pulling your weight’ around camp then Hosea becomes absolutely furious with them, unholstering his gun making sure the person knows they’re a fool for saying such a thing.

[shima-draws]

THIS IS SEVERAL DAYS (WEEKS?) LATE BUT I LOVE YOU ALL thanks for enabling me

-The AU begins with a casual city patrol. Izuku, Todoroki, Uraraka and Ojiro are teamed up. Things are seemingly normal until they accidentally bump into Shigaraki and Kurogiri—a completely unplanned encounter. Despite Kurogiri’s warnings, Shigaraki charges into battle against the students. Kurogiri jumps in to back him up by using his warps

-There’s a close call where Izuku’s about to get the jump on Shiggy—but Kurogiri manages to open a warp right before Izuku can reach him. This is where things get...funky.

-Izuku activates One For All as he disappears into the warp. Kurogiri opens a gate somewhere nearby. Todoroki and the others wait for Izuku to reappear...but he doesn’t.

-Todoroki, Uraraka and Ojiro gang up on Kurogiri and demand their friend back. Kurogiri doesn’t know what to do, this has never happened before, and he doesn’t know how to bring Izuku back. Apparently his warp malfunctioned, and Izuku seemed to get lost between dimensions.

-Finally, several minutes later, Izuku reappears. In the ensuing chaos Kurogiri and Shigaraki make their escape. Izuku is weak and shaking from the distorted warp, so Todoroki calls Aizawa and takes him back to campus.

-Izuku explains that it felt like he was falling, and almost like his entire body was trying to rip itself apart molecule by molecule—but then he fell back into the warp and came out on the other side like he was supposed to. Recovery Girl checks on him and just says that he’s in shock, no other injuries besides that. Izuku tries telling her about the strange feeling of pain he had, but she just says it might be a side effect of Kurogiri’s quirk, and that it might be some sort of delayed reaction. Izuku accepts that and things go back to normal

Rest is under the cut because she is looooooong lmao

-Except they don’t. Izuku starts to have strange dreams about somebody calling out to him. They leave him feeling unsettled and shaky in the mornings, almost like how he felt right after the warp. The dreams don’t go away—they keep coming back almost every night, and while they seem to get clearer, he still can’t figure out what they mean.

-Things start to get worse when the dreams transition over into the waking world, and Izuku starts to see flashes of someone with white hair and sad eyes in the corners of his vision. He easily gets distracted during training, and can’t seem to shake the worried feeling he has about this being important. 

-It all comes to a head when Izuku suddenly finds himself in that weird place between dimensions during a training drill. He’s only there for a few seconds, but he’s finally able to catch a glimpse of what that world is like, because the last time he was there he was falling and spiraling and was too panicked to pay attention to his surroundings. After he snaps back to himself, he wonders if it was just in his head, but when it happens again and his friends have to shake him out of it, he realizes that his mind keeps transporting to that world...it seems like his place in reality is faltering.

-The “visions” slowly continue to get longer and longer each time, with Izuku slipping into that world more often. It’s getting harder to hide it from his classmates and teachers, and finally, there’s a time where it happens and Izuku is unresponsive for over 15 minutes. The person with the white hair keeps showing up, and Izuku is desperate to find out who they are

-During another training session, Izuku feels the lapse coming on, and decides to hide away for a bit to let it pass. Except this time he doesn’t just slip into the nether dimension with just his mind—this time his whole body transports there...and he finally figures out the truth.

-Izuku searches through the new world. Everything is distorted and gravity is all topsy turvy, and when he finally catches sight of the person reaching out to him in his dreams, he follows them. At long last he discovers just who has been communicating with him...and it’s himself!!

-The mystery ghost is finally revealed: an older Izuku, from another timeline. He explains to Izuku that the place they’re in now is a world between time and space that acts as a stabilizer and general overseer of other timelines and worlds. He refers to it as the Beyond, or by its more technical name, the nexus. Apparently the other Izuku has been here for a long time, keeping watch over all of his alternate selves and keeping the timelines in balance.

-Izuku questions just why he was brought there, and his alternate self tells him that when he activated One For All in Kurogiri’s warp, it ripped open a hole in space and he was able to make a connection to the Beyond, primarily because of his alternate self’s already existing presence there. That connection is unfortunately unstable so it kept pulling Izuku back in over time. The other Izuku has been trying to fix that connection but wasn’t able to do so without full contact, which is why he’d been reaching out to Izuku in his dreams.

-To make things easier, the other Izuku asks to be called Nexus. Izuku peppers him with questions, but Nexus is reluctant to answer. He decides to send Izuku back while he researches about his connection there to try and fix it—and then he makes Izuku swear that he won’t tell anybody about their interaction, mostly because outsiders shouldn’t be aware of the Beyond’s existence in the first place.

-Izuku arrives back in his world and realizes that several hours have passed since he vanished into the Beyond. His classmates and teachers swarm him when he returns, saying that they were about to send out pros to go find him. Toshinori questions Izuku about what’s been going on with him lately, but due to the promise he made Izuku can’t answer.

-As the days pass, Izuku continuously visits Nexus (mostly because he has no choice in the matter, being dragged there by the distortion lol) and tries to pry more answers out of him. Nexus is shockingly tight lipped and Izuku knows that something bad must have happened in his timeline for him to be here. Being older isn’t the only factor tying into Nexus’ general quiet demeanor and more serious attitude. Meanwhile, Toshinori and the Dekusquad are hurt by Izuku’s silence on what’s going on with him, and Izuku has an internal struggle over what matters more: the promise he made, or the trust of his friends and family. It’s a rough time.

-Izuku breaks down and Nexus realizes that maybe it’s time he starts being more forthcoming—he knows what the burden of secrets does to Izuku, being Izuku himself. Nexus finally reveals that his timeline had been completely wiped from existence centuries ago, due to an epic, climactic battle with AFO who was attempting to figure out how to access the Beyond and gain control over it in order to rule over all possible timelines. Apparently there was a backlash when AFO tried to access the Beyond and it caused the timeline to be erased. Izuku is absolutely horrified by the truth, realizing that billions of people existing in that timeline are just...gone now. Including everyone he loves. 

-Izuku asks if AFO is gone too. Nexus looks haunted by that, but says he’s sure that he’s gone for good...leaving himself as the only proof that his world even existed at all. After Izuku leaves, Nexus decides to do a bit of digging, just to make sure that the AFO from his world truly is dead. And what he finds is not comforting.

-Apparently, after the timeline had been wiped from existence, Nexus wasn’t the only one who was tossed out before it happened. He discovers that AFO is still around, and that he’s been skulking between timelines, gathering new quirks and more power. Terrified, Nexus summons Izuku and tells him of his findings, and says that if AFO were to come after him in the Beyond, or any of them from any timeline, there’s no way they would survive the battle.

-Izuku convinces Nexus to come to his timeline to explain everything, because clearly this is no longer a one man job and something Nexus can’t handle by himself. The issue with that is that the Beyond has a strict no interference policy, at least on the basis of entering the timelines and tampering with them, so Nexus has been stuck there for centuries because he’s literally not allowed to go timeline hopping lol

-However, since Izuku was able to make a connection there and can travel between the two worlds freely (for the most part…) he’s able to utilize that connection to allow Nexus to enter his dimension. Nexus sees the sky for the first time in hundreds of years and is shaken into complete silence.

-The rest of the Dekusquad happen to be there when Izuku arrives with his alternate self and immediately bombard him with questions, but Izuku tells them the first thing they need to do is go see All Might and the other teachers to explain what’s going on.

-Upon seeing All Might again for the first time in centuries, Nexus bursts into tears (and this is a MONUMENTAL moment because Izuku hasn’t seen him cry once since meeting him, even when he told him that everyone he loved no longer exists). There’s a lot of fluffy family bonding and it’s very soft. Toshi holds onto both his boys and cries and I’M EMO LISTEN

-Nexus prepares to tell all the staff what’s going on, but first he reveals to Izuku that he didn’t...exactly tell him everything about what happened to his timeline. A quirk user is brought in who can read memories and project them on a movie screen, and the teachers and Izuku watch in horrified silence as they experience the last night of terror and heartbreak Nexus went through before his timeline was erased forever.

-The memories play back. Izuku is awoken in the middle of the night to find that the entire city is burning. The screams and pleas for help echo all around, and he finds that he can’t get into contact with any of his friends. Racing outside, Izuku looks up to see AFO silhouetted against the red sky, floating among the ashes and smoke. As Izuku hurries to catch up to him, he witnesses the sheer horror of a mass body count and hundreds dead along the way, including lots of minor and pro heroes that he knows.

-Izuku finally reaches AFO and immediately leaps into the fight. He doesn’t stand a chance. AFO has gathered too many quirks, and explains his plan to escape this dimension and gain access to the Beyond in order to spread his control further. Izuku is joined by his friends, but does not get to enjoy their help for long, because each of them are struck down, one by one. Fueled by rage and grief, Izuku ramps up OFA all the way and completely lets loose, chipping away at AFO while he cries over the deaths of his friends. Yeah this is gruesome and dark as shit and I’m not sorry

-AFO is about to get one final attack in—but Bakugou arrives at the last second and takes the blow for him. Bakugou dies in Izuku’s arms and that’s the last straw—OFA goes out of control right as AFO is preparing to open a warp to the Beyond, and the power spark causes a backlash that distorts everything, making the world glitch out.

-When Izuku wakes up, he finds himself in the Beyond with the blood of his friends on his hands. Information starts flooding into his brain about the Beyond and all of the timelines it’s tied to, and Izuku realizes what has happened. His home is gone...his friends, his family, the entire world...all wiped from existence. Now he is the only one left, tasked with taking care of the Beyond and mourning his losses for the rest of eternity.

-Needless to say, everyone watching the memories play are extremely emotional, and Izuku (our Izuku) is overcome with so much grief for his alternate self that they end up in an embrace, sharing a feeling that only they know between each other.

-Nezu and the other teachers agree to help Nexus defeat AFO once and for all. Nexus tells them that bringing in Class 1-A would be smart as well, and that he won’t make the same mistake twice and let them die. They decide to battle it out in the Beyond, it being the safest place to go wild without any risk of casualties or property destruction. And so!! Izuku introduces Nexus to the rest of the class, they all take a trip to the Beyond together, and so begins their grand training arc.

-Nexus preps each member of Class 1-A individually and on teams. They take turns going up against him and all get their asses thoroughly handed to them :) Nexus is hella strong and has had centuries to practice. He teaches them how to use the terrain of the Beyond, how to deal with the gravity and use it to their advantage. He tells them how to look for AFO’s tells and quirks so they can deal with his multipurpose battle style. Overall it’s a very fun yet stressful time with lots of bonding, sleepovers in the Beyond, and everybody getting a huge ass crush on Nexus because 1. He pretty, 2. He stronk, 3. He’s literally an eldritch being at this point, and 4. It’s Izuku. How can they not.

-There’s a time where Nexus takes Izuku to a special corner of the Beyond, and Izuku sees it’s covered for miles and miles and miles with gravestones. Izuku realizes that Nexus had spent years crafting as many as he could for all of the people that were erased from his timeline, even those he didn’t know, and at this point he’s lost count with how many there are. There’s a separated section with all of his family members and friends, and each of the stones are carved with special memorials. The rest of the class shows up and gets to look at their own gravestones and it’s fucked up as shit!! It’s very emotional and then everybody smothers Nexus with hugs and hgnhhhgh 🥺

Obviously there’s a lot that happens after this and the whole battle and everything but like. I don’t have all that planned out yet. But this is the general idea for the most part!! I’ve had a lot of fun brainstorming for this AU, I would do anything for Nexus period, and I’m super excited to start making content for it >:D

THANK YOU FOR READING and thanks for letting me infodump oh my god this is so long

[be-gay-do-heists]

hello yall :) the holy month of elul started last night, which is typically a time for contemplation, so since it is impossible for me to stop thinking about leverage, i decided to write an essay. hope anyone interested in reading it enjoys, and that it makes at least a little sense!! spoilers for leverage redemption

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Leverage, Judaism, and “Doing the Work”: An Essay for Elul

When it comes to Elul and the approaching High Holidays, Leverage might seem like an odd topic to meditate on.

The TNT crime drama that ran from 2008-2012, and which released a new season this summer following its renewal, centers on a group of found-family thieves who help the victims of corporations and oligarchs (sometimes based on real-world examples), using wacky heists and cons to bring down the rich and powerful. In one episode, the team’s clients want to reclaim their father’s prized Glimt piece that had been stolen in the Shoah and never returned, but aside from this and the throwaway lines and jokes standard for most mainstream television, there’s not a ton textually Jewish about Leverage. However, despite this, I have found that the show has strong resonance among Jewish fans, and lots of potential for analysis along Jewish themes. This tends to focus on one character in particular: the group’s brilliant, pop culture-savvy, and personable hacker, Alec Hardison, played by the phenomenally talented Aldis Hodge.

I can’t remember when or where I first encountered a reading of Hardison as Jewish, but not only is this a somewhat popular interpretation, it doesn’t feel like that much of a leap. In the show itself, Hardison has a couple of the aforementioned throwaway lines that potentially point to him being Jewish, even if they’re only in service of that moment’s grift. It’s hard to point to what exactly makes reading Hardison as Jewish feel so natural. My first guess is the easy way Hardison fits into the traditional paradigms of Jewish masculinity explored by scholars such as Daniel Boyarin (2). Most of the time, the hacker is not portrayed as athletic or physical; he is usually the foil to the team’s more physically-adept characters like fighter Eliot, or thief Parker. Indeed, Hardison’s strength is mental, expressed not only through his computer wizardry but his passions for science, technology, music, popular media, as well as his studious research into whatever scenario the group might come up against. In spite of his self-identification as a “geek,” Hardison is nevertheless confident, emotionally sensitive, and secure in his masculinity. I would argue he is representative of the traditional Jewish masculine ideal, originating in the rabbinic period and solidified in medieval Europe, of the dedicated and thoughtful scholar (3). Another reason for popular readings of Hardison as Jewish may be the desire for more representation of Jews of color. Although mainstream American Jewish institutions are beginning to recognize the incredible diversity of Jews in the United States (4), and popular figures such as Tiffany Haddish are amplifying the experiences of non-white Jews, it is still difficult to find Jews of color represented in popular media. For those eager to see this kind of representation, then, interpreting Hardison, a black man who places himself tangential to Jewishness, in this way is a tempting avenue.

Regardless, all of the above remains fan interpretation, and there was little in the text of the show that seriously tied Judaism into Hardison’s identity. At least, until we got this beautiful speech from Hardison in the very first episode of the renewed show, directed at the character of Harry Wilson, a former corporate lawyer looking to atone for the injustice he was partner to throughout his career:

“In the Jewish faith, repentance, redemption, is a process. You can’t make restitution and then promise to change. You have to change first. Do the work, Harry. Then and only then can you begin to ask for forgiveness. [...] So this… this isn’t the win. It’s the start, Harry.”

I was floored to hear this speech, and thrilled that it explained the reboot’s title, Leverage: Redemption. Although not mentioned by its Hebrew name, teshuvah forms the whole basis for the new season. Teshuvah is the concept of repentance or atonement for the sins one has committed. Stemming from the root shuv/shuva, it carries the literal sense of “return.” In a spiritual context, this usually means a return to G-d, of finding one’s way back to holiness and by extension good favor in the eyes of the Divine. But equally important is restoring one’s relationships with fellow humans by repairing any hurt one has caused over the past year. This is of special significance in the holy month of Elul, leading into Rosh haShanah, the Yamim Noraim, and Yom Kippur, but one can undertake a journey of redemption at any point in time. That teshuvah is a journey is a vital message for Harry to hear; one job, one reparative act isn’t enough to overturn years of being on the wrong side of justice, to his chagrin. As the season progresses, we get to watch his path of teshuvah unfold, with all its frustrations and consequences. Harry grows into his role as a fixer, not only someone who can find jobs and marks for the team, but fixes what he has broken or harmed.

So why was Hardison the one to make this speech?

I do maintain that it does provide a stronger textual basis for reading Hardison as Jewish by implication (though the brief on-screen explanation for why he knows about teshuvah, that his foster-parent Nana raised a multi-faith household, is important in its own merit, and meshes well with his character traits of empathy and understanding for diverse experiences). However, beyond this, Hardison isn’t exactly an archetypical model for teshuvah. In the original series, he was the youngest character of the main ensemble, a hacking prodigy in the start of his adult career, with few mistakes or slights against others under his belt. In one flashback we see that his possibly first crime was stealing from the Bank of Iceland to pay off his Nana’s medical bills, and that his other early hacking exploits were in the service of fulfilling personal desires, with only those who could afford to pay the bill as targets. Indeed, in the middle of his speech, Hardison points to Eliot, the character with the most violent and gritty past who views his work with the Leverage team as atonement, for a prime example of ongoing teshuvah. So while no one is perfect and everyone has a reason for doing teshuvah, this question of why Hardison is the one to give this series-defining speech inspired me to look at his character choices and behavior, and see how they resonate with a different but interrelated Jewish principle, that of tikkun olam. 

Tikkun olam is literally translated as “repairing the world,” and can take many different forms, such as protecting the rights of vulnerable people in society, or giving tzedakah (5). In modern times, tikkun olam is often the rallying cry for Jewish social activists, particularly among environmentalists for whom literally restoring the health of the natural world is the key goal. Teshuvah and tikkun olam are intertwined (the former is the latter performed at an interpersonal level) and both hold a sense of fixing or repairing, but tikkun olam really revolves around a person feeling called to address an injustice that they may have not had a personal hand in creating. Hardison’s sense of a universal scale of justice which he has the power to help right on a global level and his newfound drive to do humanitarian work, picked up sometime after the end of the original series, make tikkun olam a central value for his character. This is why we get this nice bit of dialogue from Eliot to Hardison in the second episode of the reboot, when the latter’s outside efforts to organize international aid start distracting him from his work with the team: “Is [humanitarian work] a side gig? In our line of work, you’re one of the best. But in that line of work… you’re the only one, man.” The character who most exemplifies teshuvah reminds Hardison of his amazing ability to effect change for the better on a huge stage, to do some effective tikkun olam. It’s this acknowledgement of where Hardison can do the most good that prompts the character’s absence for the remainder of the episodes released thus far, turning his side gig into his main gig.

With this in mind, it will be interesting to see where Hardison’s arc for this season goes. Separated from the rest of the team, the hacker still has remarkable power to change the world, because it is, after all, the “age of the geek.” However, he is still one person. For all that both teshuvah and tikkun olam are individual responsibilities and require individual decision-making and effort, the latter especially relies on collective work to actually make things happen. Hardison leaving is better than trying to do humanitarian work and Leverage at the same time, but there’s only so long he can be the “only one” in the field before burning out. I’m reminded of one of the most famous (for good reason) maxims in Judaism:

It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you free to neglect it. (6)

Elul is traditionally a time for introspection and heeding the calls to repentance. After a year where it’s never been easier to feel powerless and drained by everything going on around us, I think it’s worth taking the time to examine what kind of work we are capable of in our own lives. Maybe it’s fixing the very recent and tangible hurts we’ve left behind, like Harry. Maybe it’s the little changes for the better that we make every day, motivated by our sense of responsibility, like Eliot. And maybe it’s the grueling challenge of major social change, like Hardison. And if any of this work gets too much, who can we fall back on for support and healing? Determining what needs repair, working on our own scale and where our efforts are most helpful, and thereby contributing to justice in realistic ways means that we can start the new year fresh, having contemplated in holiday fashion how we can be better agents in the world.

Shana tovah u’metukah and ketivah tovah to all (7), and may the work we do in the coming year be for good!

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(1) Disclaimer: everybody’s fandom experiences are different, and this is just what I’ve picked up on in my short time watching and enjoying this show with others.

(2) See, for example, the introduction and first chapter of Boyarin’s book Unheroic Conduct: The Rise of Heterosexuality and the Invention of the Jewish Man (I especially recommend at least this portion if you are interested in queer theory and Judaic studies). There he explores the development of Jewish masculinity in direct opposition to Christian masculine standards.

(3) I might even go so far as to place Hardison well within the Jewish masculine ideal of Edelkayt, gentle and studious nobility (although I would hesitate to call him timid, another trait associated with Edelkayt). Boyarin explains that this scholarly, non-athletic model of man did not carry negative associations in the historical Jewish mindset, but was rather the height of attractiveness (Boyarin, 2, 51).

(4) Jews of color make up 20% of American Jews, according to statistics from Be’chol Lashon, and this number is projected to increase as American demographics continue to change: https://globaljews.org/about/mission/. 

(5) Tzedakah is commonly known as righteous charity. According to traditional authority Maimonides, it should be given anonymously and without embarrassment to the person in need, generous, and designed to help the recipient become self-sufficient.

(6) Rabbi Tarfon, Pirkei Avot, 2:16

(7) “A good and sweet year” and “a good inscription [in the Book of Life]”