#his face when elizabeth shouts at him LMAO

[jazz-berry]

The most pathetic man ever…

Let me slap him next

[cosmic-crybaby]

Blue Skies - Tommy Shelby

Chapter 6: ‘Stolen Moments’ 

Warnings in this chapter: mentions of abortion, light angst, Tommy meeting the kid's lmao

Masterlist

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The drive home was long, so you offered for him to stay. 

It was the first time he had come inside of your home, and you were a bit strung out. Apprehensive on is thoughts of your home since it was nowhere near as grand and luxurious as his mansion. 

You had walked ahead first, finding Esme sitting in the kitchen table, waiting for your return. 

“Esme, hi,” You said hushed, getting her attention. She quickly stood, a bright smile n her face as she grabs her shawl. 

“(Y/n), how’d it go?” She asked, wrapping it around her shoulders with a silent yawn. You point towards the entryway with your eyes and a mischievous smile. You put your finger up to your lips as she gasps. 

“He’s here?” She whispered. You nod in excitement as you both quietly giggle, grinning eagerly as you held her hands. 

“Are the kids asleep?” You asked. She nodded once again. 

“Been out since nine,” She noted. 

“Thank you so much...” You paused to hug her. “Come see me tomorrow so I can repay you,”

Without giving her a chance to object, you were already sneaking back to where Thomas was. Leading him up the flight of stairs into your bedroom. Esme had left herself out not long after your conversation with her had ended, she grinned to herself as she caught a glimpse of the gangster that followed behind you. 

The morning sun had woken you up. The bright rays burned your still sleepy eyes, as the birds chirped and sang it made you feel thankful that you weren’t anywhere near the loud city. But, it slowly dawned on you that you had slept in. You quickly sit up and check the mahogany clock on your nightstand. Scolding yourself as you forgot to set your alarm to wake up early enough to get Thomas out of the house before your kids woke up. 

‘Shit,’ You mumbled to yourself as you threw the covers off of your half-naked body. “Thomas,” You hear a sleepy groan in response. 

“Thomas, wake up...” You tied your silk robe on and clipped your hair out of your face. 

“Hm?” He hummed, his eyes still heavy from sleep as he saw your blurry figure rushing around the room to gather his things. 

“My kids...they’ll be up soon,” You told him quietly, speaking too soon as you had already heard their footsteps on the wooden floors, followed by child-like banter. 

“Fuck,” He sighed as he sat himself up and started getting dressed, pulling on his shirt first. 

“Mum!” Elizabeth shouted in a sing-song tone as she banged on the door with her palm, angrily. 

“H-Hold on, I’m getting dressed!” You called back as you held the door shut. 

“We need to start doing this is a more methodical way, eh (Y/n)?” He whispered groggily in an annoyed tone as he buttoned up his shirt. 

“Okay, yes we will I just-” 

“I just think it would be better if I met them before the baby was born,” He inquired sarcastically, making direct eye-contact with you for a brief moment before turning to grab his jacket from the armchair. You close your mouth, not wanting to argue against him. A small part of you knew he was right. 

“Mum!” Henry joined in, pestering you with their constant banging on the door and needy shouting.

“Kids, please!” You shouted in frustration. “Go to your room, I will be there in a moment!” You pleaded. Sighing as you turned towards Thomas again.

“Thomas…You will meet them, just when the time is right,”

“There’s a deadline, (Y/n),”

His words caused you to cross your arms over your chest and give him a stern look.

“I am not comfortable introducing you to my children right now,” Putting your foot down since he was being so persistent. He slips his shoes on and dusts off his coat.

“And I don’t commit to anything unless they can commit to me as well, you have just sixteen weeks-”

“Jesus Christ, Thomas we will talk about this another time, I promise…Just not now,” You whispered the last part. He blinks at you before turning his back to you once more.

“I will go into their room to get them ready, once you hear the door close please let yourself out,”

“Of course,” He turned to you again, a pistol in his hand that he shoved into the holster. You curse under your breath and roll your eyes in disdain.

“I can’t believe you,” You mutter, mostly to yourself, as you leave the bedroom. Closing the door behind you and walking into the children's shared room, preparing to get ready for their trip to go back to London after a week with you.

"Where is dad meeting us this time?” Elizabeth asked, you thought for a moment. Rushing to grab their bags. 

“Train station I believe-”

Henry's voice then rang a set of words you wish you didn’t have to hear that morning.

“Mum…There’s a man in our house,”

You turned to see your son looking up at Thomas, who in turn, glances at the boy then back at you with wide-eyes, while your eyes were dawned with aggravation with a deadly stare.

The four of you sat at the kitchen table, your kids looking at Thomas in uncertainty. And for the first time, Thomas only felt the slightest bit nervous.

“Um…” You cleared your throat. “This is Thomas Shelby…Thomas this is Elizabeth and Henry,” You told him as you pet your children's heads as they stared blankly at him. His icy stare would often inflict intimidation and fear into whomever was at the opposing end, but the nonchalant stare of your children was somehow just as unsettling. They didn’t crack, not one bit, and Thomas quirked a brow at this.

“It’s nice to meet you both,” He nodded once with a grunt as he cleared his dry throat, itching for a cigarette. The silence caused you to speak up first.

“Um…Elizabeth loves to dance, isn’t that right?” You asked, she nodded looking at you then back to Thomas.

“Ballet, I assume?” Thomas asked. She acknowledged him with a slight smile.

“She’s at the top of her class and she’s got a role in Swan Lake this year,”

“Yeah…Our performance is coming up soon,” She spoke softly.

“I would love to be there, if that’s okay with you,” He asked formally. She thought for a moment then shrugged with a nod. You and Thomas share a slight smile, feeling accomplished.

“What about you, Henry? What do you like to do?” Thomas asked as he turned to look at the younger boy.

"I play the violin, but I reckon I'm not very good," He shyly said, looking off to the side.

"Yet...With enough practice I'm sure you'll perfect it one day," Thomas' words caused your heart to melt just a bit. You now knew he did have a soft spot for children, maybe this could work out in the end.

"Mum...We have to go," Elizabeth whispered.

"Oh...Oh right! Sorry, I have to take them to the train station, but thank you so much, Thomas," You stood up.

"Of course, I'll see you very soon," He ghosted a smile before he stood up as well as to let himself out, you refrained from giving him a goodbye kiss so as to not show too much affection in front of your children.

"...or never," Elizabeth mumbled under her breath, causing you to scold her.

"Enough of that, be nice," You handed her the small suitcase.

After you had dropped them off at the train station, you hurried to work. It was around noon by the time you had arrived thanks to Thomas' mishap this morning. You prepared the bread and pastries right away but it wasn’t until later in the day that the bakery was fully open. The flood of customers coming in and out overwhelmed you, but thankfully Esme eventually came in and convinced you to close early and have some time to talk alone and catch up with her on how your night with Thomas went. The two of you sat on one of the tables, pouring yourselves some hot tea as you scooted the chair in close.

"It seems like he's passed the first test, aye?" She asked, smiling. You only shrugged and plopped two cubes of sugar in your cup.

"Hardly, I mean, they were both fond of him to say the least, but you know how kids are when it comes to new people," You blew on your steaming tea before taking the first sip. It was bitter to you, causing you to grimace and add some more sugar. Esme gave you a strange glance, noticing the abnormal amounts of sugar you were adding, since you usually were usually quite fond of the bitterness of your black tea.

"(Y/N), can I ask the obvious question?" She hesitantly asked, her brows quivering a bit in a soft expression. 'Yes of course, Esme,' You told her.

"Why...why are you so opposed to gettin’ an-"

"Getting rid of it?...I'm not opposed, really," You corrected her.

"Then...why aren't you even considering it? Thomas has got tons of money, he can take you to a proper doctor," She reached a hand out on top of yours. You set your tea down.

"I am considering it,"

"It really doesn't seem like it, love," Her tone was more harsh this time, and you took notice of it almost immediately.

"I am, I want to make sure I am certain...before I go," You pressed your lips in a thin line as she looked at you, a tilt of her head and a quirk of her brow led you to believe that she did not believe you, not one bit. 'mh-hmm,' she hummed.

"Esme, you know where I stand on this, a woman's body is her own and she is allowed to make her own choice," Your voice was stern as you told her this.

"It really doesn't seem like you are..." She shook her head. You scoffed and sighed heavily before running a hand over your face.

"I've had one before...it was when I was young before I got married...It was with a boy from school that I was interested in but he didn't want any children so I went to a doctor...it was no big deal," That last part was a lie. You were only fifteen at the time and after you had it, in hopes of you and the boy staying together, he left. Convinced you to have it then broke your heart the second you were off of the local drugs they gave you.

"I just think it's different now that I have my kids...especially when I had them with someone that I loved as much as he loved me at the time...So, knowing what I know now, it's just more complicated," You spoke, taking another anxious sip of your tea as Esme watched you with judgment.

"What do you know now, (Y/n)?" She asked. You blinked at her before your lips turned up slightly.

"Elizabeth and Henry...My amazing children," You told her. It was quiet after that. Esme left the bakery shortly after, not liking the tension she had created between you two.

You on the other hand closed up the shop, cleaned, counted the money, and went back to your empty home.

---

Tag List: 

@violet-19999 @micarinitodemiel @dilfsandtherapy @shelundeadxxxx @dragons-are-my-favorite

[morganee]

Hello!! How do you imagine the love confession between Mike and Will in season 5? 🌈🌈🌈

Hiii Dani 💛 omg I love your ask First of all, I apologise for answering so late ✨ as always ✨ Okay, let's start by saying that I've imagined many scenarios, but I think the painting will for sure start the discussion that will eventually lead to them confessing to each other. I'm a bit conflicted because while I want byler to get together ASAP, I also want Mike to have some time for himself, too. So I'll give you two scenarios, sorry lol

If Byler gets together right after the events of Vol. 2: Mike finds out that Will lied about the painting and corners him in the basement to ask him about it. They start to fight because Will obviously doesn't want to tell him the truth, so he decides to leave when it gets too much. They end up in front of the garage again (and it's obviously a rainy day) and Mike insists until he shouts "Why did you lie?" and Will breaks down, turns around and screams "Because I love you!". Then it's just Will confessing his feelings and Mike looking at him confused and surprised. He doesn't say anything and Will leaves and hides in the cabin.

They don't get to talk the next day (I would like to get a scene where we see Mike in his room looking at the painting, staring at the ceiling, you know, letting everything sink in and realising everything) because they have to go on separate missions. Before they go, Mike goes to Will and tells him something like "Don't do anything stupid" and Will answers "I already did" and it's obvious he's referencing to him telling Mike about his feelings, thinking he's just ruined their friendship.

When they come back from their missions, Will is hurt and Mike obviously goes crazy. It's not too bad but still, it takes Will a few hours to wake up. When he does, Mike is beside him holding his hand and Mike tells him that yes, he's done something stupid and that was not telling him the truth in the van because he loves him, too.

If Byler gets together after the time skip: I have a less detailed scenario for this but I imagine that we would get some moments at the beginning of the time skip where we realise that Mike clearly has feelings for Will (he's all clumsy around him, makes heart eyes at Will and is even more protective of him, you know: usual Mike). Then the Supernatural Plot™ happens and we get some moments with high tension between them. We could get Mike looking at the painting before going into battle (kind of like remembering how this all started) and it's just them again and Mike blurts out that he's in love with him (it would be so funny to get a moment like in Pirates of the Caribbean when Will and Elizabeth get married lmao that'd be funny). Or maybe! Mike could confess his love for Will while they're hiding somewhere and it's quiet, it would be a nice contrast to m*leven.

I'm just so curious to see how they're actually going to do it, as long as they give it to us (in a nice and respectful way, thank you very much) then I'll be happy :')

Also, little side note then I swear I'll shut up: I think we need to hear them say "I love you" to each other, even though I know that the other endgame couples haven't said those words to each other, but I feel like S5 could be the season where everyone gets to say it to their faces? It'd be nice 💛 Sorry for this long answer :')

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Hi! Can i request the RFA + V and Saeran with mc who can’t cook like she can’t even turn on the stove but she tried to cook for them as a way to cheer them up?? How do you think they’ll react to it? Thanks, have a good day 😁

Sure! And honestly that’s the perfect way to describe me lmao I can’t cook shit (ALSO EVERYTHING GOT DELETED SO I HAD TO WRITE IT AGAIN GD TUMBLRRRR!)

RFA+V and Saeran with an MC who can’t cook:

Zen:

He was a bit depressed since he was having a hard time with his role

Rehearsal was beginning in a few days and Zen still couldn’t get a feel of the character

So he was pretty sad

And you decided to try to cheer him up!

By cooking!

You asked Jaehee about his favorite food

Lamb kebab!

You waited until Zen went out for his jog and started working!

You put on a cute aprond and started working!

Everything was going well

Lmao who are we kidding everything was a disaster

First of all, you made the rice way to soggy so that sucks

And then while you were trying to grill the rest of the food it got burnt

And it set off your fire alarm

Which made everyone in the apartment fire because they thought there was a freaking fire

They called the fireman and everything

Until you explained that it was just the smell of your burnt cooking and that everything was fine

After everyone else calmed down and went back to their apartments, you saw Zen running towards you and giving you a tight hug

He had seen the fire truck go all the way to your place and he panicked

But you mumbled that it was because you burnt some food and set off the fire alarm

He laughed because he found it so cute, but when he saw your pouty face he grabbed your hand and guided you towards your home

He did try eating your food but it was burnt so you decided to just go an eat some fish shaped bread!

“Babe~ Thanks for trying to cheer me up! I love you~”

Yoosung:

You guys always ordered fast food because the two of you didn’t know how to cook lmao

Recently you saw Yoosung was pretty stressed, since finals were coming up and he was studying like crazy

That may have been because you promised no kisses unless he got some good grades

So he was working hard! But you didn’t want him to over do it

You decided to cook his favorite food!

You woke up early, while Yoosung was still making up for his loss of sleep due to the all nighters he was pulling

You diced to make him some omurice!

You turned on the stove and started cooking

I mean it was going fine until you had to cut the chicken and the onions!

First of all, you were paranoid while cutting the chicken because you didn’t want to cut yourself

But then you finished! And so the crisis was adverted!

Then you proceeded to cut the onion!

But while you were cutting it you started crying a bit

And you didn’t see where you were cutting and accidentally cut your finger

Just at that moment Yoosung was yawning and saying a lazy mornin’ while making his way to the kitchen

But he stopped when he saw you

You were bleeding a bit and your face was filled with tears

He immediately panicked and started shouting asking you what had happened

You tried to explain but he would let you talk

So you cupped his face and made him look at you

“Yoosung, I’m fine! I was trying to cook for you but while I was cutting the onion I started crying and accidentally cut myself. But it doesn’t hurt!”

Yoosung was immediately relieved and when you told him you were cooking for him he was so moved

He will eat everything you made for him, and later he will even try to return the favor!

Jaehee:

She was a bit stressed with the cafe, since she was having a bit of trouble getting the hang of everything that she had to do

So you decided to make her some lunch for work the next day!

You left the cafe early and went home to make Jaehee a cute chicken bento box!

Whenever you cooked you did it with Jaehee since she was the expert, but right now you wanted to surprise her!

You were doing a good job! You peeled the apples to have the forms of bunnies, put the rice on one side and the chicken teriyaki on another side!

Then you wrapped it up so you could give it to her the next day!

When you gave it to Jaehee she was so happy! And she even diced to feed you a bit

But then you tasted it and you wanted to barf

You had put wayyyy too much soy sauce!!!

“Jaehee! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Jaehee only shook her head and smiled at you

“Y/N, whatever you make is delicious, and I will gladly eat it no matter what.”

Beautiful please marry this woman 🥺

Jumin:

He was pretty busy with work

And didn’t get to spend much time with you :(

So you decided to make a romantic dinner for him!

You told the chef to take a day off and started working before Jumin came home

Yea but it didn’t work

He had a really weird stove

How?

How does that work?

Someone help me please?

You spent sooooo long trying to get the damn stove to turn on

You even started crying a bit

Jumin came home and he saw you sitting on the couch, holding your knees, with your head hung low

Elizabeth was beside you, purring and trying to get your attention

“Love? Is everything alright?”

He quickly made his way over to you, and sat beside you, rubbing you back

“J-Jumin” you sobbed “I-I tried cooking for y-you but the-the freaking stove didn’t want t-to turn on! And-and I really w-wanted you to e-eat my food b-but the stupid stove didn’t want to work!”

Jumin was relieved, since he actually thought he’d done something wrong, but then he chuckled and hugged you

“Love thank you. I’m sure your food would’ve been delicious, but you don’t need to worry about me. Just sleeping in the same bed as you cheers me up every morning.”

He kissed your forehead and after you calmed down Jumin showed you how his stove worked, although he never really used it

And you both cooked together!

Saeyoung:

Saeyoung was having a gloomy day D:

He was isolating himself in his office, and nothing you or Saeran did could bring him out

So you decided to cook for him!

Saeyoung honestly liked everything, so you decided to make some ramen!

Saeran did ask if you needed some help, but you told him that you wanted to do it yourself!

And so you started cooking, putting on your favorite songs and dancing around

While you were placing the ingredients in the pot you were dancing to one of your favorite songs

And you accidentally knocked it over with your elbow

You screamed as the pot burnt a bit of hand and your feet

Saeyoung ran to the kitchen, Saeran following close behind

“Y/N! Are you alright?!”

You bit your lip and cried and explained that you had knocked the ramen pot while you were dancing

“What? Ramen pot? Why the hell were you making ramen?” He asked while he checked your foot and hand

“I-I saw you were feeling a bit down so I wanted to cook for you and try to...sniff...cheer you up!”

Saeyoung looked at you surprised and sighed

“Y/N...you didn’t have to do this for me...”

You told him that you really wanted to, and he hugged you and kissed where you had gotten brunt

Saeyoung carried you to the kitchen and with Saeran they cleaned up the kitchen and made some food for you!

That night Saeyoung will hold you tight and whisper so many thank-you’s

V:

V was feeling a bit down since he had a bit of art block

So to cheer him up you decided to cook some pain de campagne which was one of his favorite food!

You wanted to make the bread from scratch, so you were working hard!

Finally you put the bread in the oven and went over to the living room to talk to some of the RFA members

Well you forgot that the bread was there

Later when V went to the kitchen to drink some water he smelled something burning

And he discovered the bread!

“Umm, love? Y/N, can you come here for a second?”

You quickly made your way to the kitchen and gasped as you remembered

You had made bread for him!!!!

And you forgot to take them out of the oven!

You became red in the face and started apologizing while explaining to V that you wanted to try and cheer him up

He chuckled and held your hands

“Thank you Y/N...that was so sweet of you.”

He will definitely feel better!

And later you will both cook some bread together!

Saeran:

Even though Saeran had gotten out of mint eye, he still had his ups and downs

One day he wasn’t feeling good, so he stayed in bed all day

To cheer him up you decided to bake some cookies for him!

Saeran was always making things for you and you wanted to repay him!

So you started getting everything ready

While you were making the cookies the whole kitchen was a mess

I mean you accidentally opened the flour and made it go all over your face

And then you put a bit too much sugar

When you started mixing you may have gotten the whole place dirty lmao

Then you put them in the oven and waited paintently!

Whenever Saeran has nightmares you had stayed up with him at night

So you were a bit tired

Nd you didn’t notice that you started dozing off for a bit

Until you remembered the cookies! And you got them out of the oven

They were a bit burnt :(

Saeran had finally woken up and was going to cook some lunch

But he saw you there with the cookies and he smiled

“Princess? What are you doing?”

You explained that you had made some cookies for him and Saeran looked as if he was about to cry

I mean you were both literally about to cry, Saeran because he was so moved and you because you had burnt the cookies a bit

Saeran kissed you and gently cupped your cheek in one of his hands

“Thank you. No one has ever cooked for me like this and...thank you. I love you, Y/N”

Then he takes a bite of the cookie and you laugh at the funny face he just made

He will definitely eat the cookies since you made them for him!

But next time he’ll help you lol

[marshmallowprotection]

Bora Han BNHA crossover mixed with body guard au.

Just picture aizawa telling todoroki, Bakugou, and deku that they will be working as body guards together (the whole class is paired off into groups of 3 for each body guard job) and they are assigned the task of being bodyguards for the adoptive daughter of jumin han, bora han. Bora is quirkless and has had multiple kidnapping attempts and recently was abducted by the lov.

Bakugou has already met bora during his time in the lov basement as a captive, but he is wondering how she is doing. Meeting a person in that type of situation is bound to leave a lasting impression. So imagine his shock, when him and the other two first reach the penthouse and sees bora climbing on top of a rolling chair to reach the top shelf.

“Are you dumb! You could get hurt!” Bakugou scolds the petite girl as he grabs her, pulling her off of the chair.

“Hey, you’re the Pomeranian from the lov basement, “ she says with a smile causing both todoroki and deku to laugh.

“ hi, I’m bora han, I’m very sorry, I told dad that I didn’t need bodyguards but he is very paranoid after everything that has happened. I’ll make sure to stay out of your way.” She says bowing.

Shouto had read up on her files, but seeing her in person is very different, she is smaller than he imagined, but that could be because of her outfit. Baggy pants, baggy hoodie, and a cat that she is constantly holding or is on her shoulders.

“ my name is shouto Todoroki, I am in class 1-a in U.A. My father is Endeavor, number one hero but to be honest I’ve never liked him,”

“And I’m izuku midoryia, we are all in ua,” the green hairs boy says. He kinda reminds bora of a puppy.

“It’s nice to meet all of you. “ she said to them.

The next two weeks were really slow, bora doesn’t leave the penthouse much and it seems like she doesn’t have any friends her age. She does online school and goes to sleep early. At least that’s what they thought.

It’s around 1 am when deku wakes up to use the bathroom, their rooms are right next to bora’s bed room so he decides to check up on her. But when he opens the door he doesn’t see her. He sees the fire escape window have no lock in it either.

“Oh shit!” He says before running into the shared bedroom, waking everyone up in a panic.

“What the hell deku!” Bakugou asks angrily.

“She’s gone! I went in to check on her and she’s gone! I can’t find her!” Izuku says as the three boys run into her room to find it completely empty.

“Fuck! “ Bakugou says checking the fire escape, it doesn’t look like anything is broken and there seem to be no signs of struggle.

“Bakugou, midoryia, there is a note,” todoroki says, picking up the piece of paper.

“I’m fine, went out for a breath of fresh air,”

“ I swear I’m gonna kill her!” Bakugou says heading out the fire escape, “one of you stay behind i case she comes back” he runs out the fires escape, and midoryia follows.

Todoroki sits down on her bed and takes out his phone. Clicking on bora’s contact he begins to call her.

“Hello?” Bora says, wondering why he is up so late.

“Are you being kidnapped?” Todoroki asks.

“No, why?”

“Because you’re not here and it is 1 am.”

“ I’ll start heading back now, does anyone else know I’m out?”

“Yes, Bakugou and midoryia. “

In the background bora can hear the familiar shouts of Bakugou, and they’re getting closer.

“I found Bakugou. I’ll be home soon,” bora says before hanging up.

Todoroki looks next to him and sees Elizabeth the third,”hello Elizabeth the third, my name is shouto Todoroki, I am in class 1-a in U.A. My father is Endeavor, number one hero but to be honest I’ve never liked him,”

To that Elizabeth just meowed and curled up on bora’s pillow.

Bora is currently being carried home like a football by Bakugou, she is clinging onto him for dear life. Heights have never been her strong suit, especially when she’s being carried by a very angry Pomeranian.

Landing in her balcony Bakugou carried her into her bedroom, then puts her down.

“What the hell were you thinking dumbass! Do you know how dangerous it is to wander off at night!” Bakugou begins to scold.

“I’m fine, look I’m in one piece. It’s not like I haven’t done it before,”

“What? YOUVE DONE THAT BEFORE!” Bakugou asks, by now midoryia had come back and is there in case it gets taken too far.

“Yeah, almost every night. “ bora says as deku face palms. That wasn’t a good move and Bakugou is just getting more angry.

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SNEAKING OUT ALMOST EVERY NIGHT!”

“I get nightmares, and the cold air helps me.” She says softly, wrapping her arms around her body, almost giving herself a hug.

“Kachan, let’s talk about it tomorrow. Bora get some rest. One of us will stay in your room from now on. We are gonna talk it out tomorrow. “

Deku and Bakugou leave the room, leaving a shaken up bora and Todoroki alone together.

“I don’t see many people hold their ground with Bakugou, you’re very impressive.” Todoroki says trying to make bora feel better. “I might not be the best at comforting others, but I’m here if you need me.” He says patting bora’s head as bora smile sadly.

Thank you for sharing this with me because all you did was present the idea that Shouto would talk to Elizabeth the 3rd politely. We've seen him drawn with cats before too so this just kind of cements that idea. He thinks they're neat. Bora is just... occasionally a heathen. There is definitely potential with this AU and I could actually flesh those out until picker concept! I have BNHA OCs that haven't been used in a while that could be her friends too, lmao.

Bakugou just grabs her by the hoodie when she tries to hop out a window onto a fire escape and she can't kick out because she's so heckin tiny. I can't say that Deku or Shouto could save her from his exhaustion on the situation. He has no mercy.

Props for making me laugh.

[sad-sweet-cowboah]

Michelle Delacruz

“Much like a wild Mustang, this woman has an untameable heart. Wild and fierce, she carries the spirit of the West.”

Name: 

Michelle Manuela Delacruz

Born: 

August 16th, 1877 (Leo)

Notable Characteristics:

Raven hair

Black and purple color scheme

Fierce, light colored eyes

Three deep scars on the right side of her face

Extremely short tempered

Often goes by “Michelle Mustang” due to people often comparing her likeness to a wild Mustang.

Skills:

Sharpshooter

Master rider

Proficient hunter and tracker

Excellent at close combat

Weapons:

Lancaster Repeater

Carcano Rifle

Rare Shotgun

Bow and arrows

Duel wielding custom Navy Revolvers

Family:

Amelia Delacruz (mother, deceased)

Tomas Delacruz (father, deceased)

Joana Delacruz (older sister)

Natalia Delacruz (younger sister)

Background:

Michelle was born to a Mexican-American family out in New Austin. The second daughter of three, growing up in a small shack with her parents and sisters. Her mother a seamstress, her father a vaquero. Given their large family and meager earnings, they learned to live off the land.

One thing Michelle loved, however, was horses. She often was found playing with the steed her father used for work, soon learning how to ride at a young age. Since then she was hooked. When she was out on the land with her family, she would watch the wild horses run across the open expanse and dreamed to be riding amongst them one day.

Being of Latino origin caused more trouble than not for her and her family. They often experienced blatant racism, tailing them home, shouting insults and threatening to lynch or burn them. Regardless, they managed to get home safe.

Until one day, her father didn’t. At the tender age of 8, Michelle and her family found out he’d been ambushed and lynched. The gang of miscreants who performed it were whooping and jeering nearby, ready to take them next. This caused them to move out of fear, relocating themselves further North. With nothing but lint in their pockets and empty bellies, Amelia and Joana sought to find work.

Things were okay for a while. Michelle learned to hunt for the days when money was too scarce for a can of vegetables or a loaf of bread. When she was 14, her mother’s health began to decline from the constant overwork. Amelia died soon after, too poor to afford treatment.

With Joana being 16, they’d managed to secure a household when they struck a deal with a wealthy man, having jobs in exchange for three hot meals and a roof over their heads. Before then, Michelle had never seen a home so extravagant. She became excited when she learned this man had a barn full of horses. She became a stable hand and rode once again, quickly learning how to break and train a horse from the ground up and often assisted in foal deliveries.

After two years, this paradise had come to an end. The man had lost his wealth, which meant having to sell his property and thus, putting the three out on the streets again. None of them could find a steady job, and moved around a lot to find work. It wasn’t until Michelle came across a bounty board in a small town, offering a decent amount of cash for the capture of a criminal she immediately recognized as one of her father’s killers.

Even though Michelle had next to nothing; a worn lasso and a rusty Cattleman revolver, she sought out this man. Using her hunting skills to track him down, she found him in a small camp in West Elizabeth. He had a few guards that she’d taken out without much of a struggle. She eventually cornered him, watching cower and beg for mercy. Blinded by anger, she held the revolver to his head and demanded he look her in the eye. He did, and she watched the realization bloom on his face when he realized who she was. Oh how she wanted to kill him, her finger hovering over the trigger. An inner turmoil of morality burned within her, knowing killing him outright would not bring her father back. She proceeded to shoot him in the leg before tying him up. She then took one of the dead gang member’s horses and rode back, begrudgingly turning him in, but was the first one in line to see him hang.

Afterward, bounty hunting seemed to become a calling for her. Not only had she found each one of her father’s killers, she was able to save enough money to buy a small home for her and her sisters, all the while making a name for herself. At age 21 and having many notches on her belt, she sought to hit a big score: Roxanne, aka “Death Rider” ( @r0xy-w0lf​ ) and began to track the famous outlaw down.

After quite some time, Michelle eventually found her, intent on capturing and turning her in. However, something seemed...different. Roxy gave a vibe that contrasted from others she’d faced, and Michelle found familiarity in her. They sat and talked, with Roxy eventually offering her a place in her gang. Michelle wasn’t keen at first, turned off by the idea of becoming a part of something she’d been hunting down for years. However, Michelle was now alone after her sisters had found lives of their own, and she missed the feeling of close family.

She’s now a part of the Death Squad, who welcomed her with open arms. She’s still trying to figure out the ropes but finds herself fitting more and more each passing day.

Extra:

If there’s one thing Michelle hates, it’s bullies. Facing much prejudice and racism throughout her life have caused her to get into plenty of fights. She will not hesitate to swing a fist.

She was in fact known to hold secret fights as a teenager to pull in extra cash.

She will also stand up for anyone who can’t defend themselves within reason.

She can and will drink you under the table.

When she was younger, she would try to befriend the wild horses by spending time at a distance from a herd that lived not too far from her home. As they grew more comfortable with her presence, she would come up and feed them treats.

She supposedly has German roots from her father’s side, but this was never confirmed.

Very few people know she was a mother. Having entered a relationship with a childhood friend at the age of 18, putting a potentially permanent pause on her dangerous lifestyle with hopes to settle down. She gave birth to a sickly baby, who died just days later. This experience hardened Michelle, as well as caused an irreparable rift in between her and her lover. She often thinks about them both, but doesn’t consider attempting to settle down again.

Her baby is buried out in New Austin, in a place that only she knows. She will visit whenever she’s in the area, and on the anniversary of his death.

The scars on her face were received early in her bounty hunting career, caught in a melee fight with her target when she was momentarily incapacitated by a guard. The outlaw had gotten a few slices in before she was able to break free.

She visits Joana and Natalia as often as she can.

She’s come in brief contact with the Van der Linde gang in pursuit of their bounties, but they were too large and powerful for her to take alone. She found respect in their morals of helping people who need it. She sometimes will chat if she runs into one of them. She’ll often steal Arthur’s hat for a day or so without his knowledge and replace it when he’s not looking.

Horses:

“I prefer stallions to mares. Mares are too much like me, that’s why I don’t trust ‘em.” - Michelle

Dante: Bay Frame Overo Criollo Stallion

Michelle’s main mount. A stallion with a kind eye and sweet disposition that she found charming. Easily her fastest horse, and by far her best.

Santiago: Bay Brindle Criollo Stallion

Michelle’s second horse. She hadn’t been looking for another horse, until his unusual brindle coating caught her eye. She admired how sturdy he was, and certainly built to handle somewhat heftier work and hunts.

Rojas: Chestnut Arabian Stallion

Michelle’s longest held mount. She's not terribly fond of Arabians and their skiddish demeanor. Rojas however, was an exception. One of the colts she helped birth in her younger days, she bonded with him during her two years as a stable hand and broke him herself. After he was sold, she tracked him down when she had the money and bought him back.

---

@theunholyoutlaw​ @verai-marcel​ @eddesceulla​

So, little known fact here for y’all: Michelle is an old character from another fandom that I decided to resurrect for the RDR universe, since in her original setting, she was also a cowgirl (a cowgirl with powers and a ghost horse lmao)

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 36 Review: The Séance

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

Welcome back to my Garden of Evil and thank you for patiently waiting for me to return to reviewing Strange Paradise. It’s been a wild and chaotic past few weeks and I’ve just gotten around to returning to the course of events on Maljardin. And Great Serpent, this time we have one hell of a wild episode!

Because I already miss the bad puns in the earlier episodes.

Of all the episodes of this show, this one is my #1 favorite. It embodies everything I love about Maljardin-era SP: it stars Colin Fox as both Jean Paul and Jacques, features some delightful Jacques scenes, and is genuinely suspenseful and scary. There are also unintentional laughs as usual, but somehow none of them detract from the frightening moments. If I had to introduce SP to someone who had never seen it before (say, my mom, who only knows a little about it), I would use this episode, not the pilot which (IMO) is less scary and far more ridiculous. The magic of Ian Martin’s SP is on full display here. Although he doesn’t leave the show immediately after this episode, it feels like a last hurrah, and a spectacular one at that. You know you want to read about this episode, so what are you waiting for?

We open with Vangie napping on the couch shortly after the events of the previous episode. Over her, Jean Paul and Alison are arguing about whether to go through with the séance to contact Erica. Alison begs him not to because of the risk of death, but Jean Paul insists on pushing through with it anyway because, as Raxl recaps, “The Conjure Woman didn’t see her death, only [Jacques’].” Jean Paul interprets this as meaning that he himself might die, but it’s not clear if he truly believes this or if he’s trying to cover up his frequent possession by the handsome devil.

Vangie recovers and announces that she plans on going through with it, no matter what happens. Still angry from last episode, Matt protests and Jean Paul gives him this nasty smirk that reeks of passive aggression:

Either that, or Colin is trying hard not to laugh. I can’t tell.

“This is not your concern, Reverend,” Jean Paul spits, and Vangie agrees with him. Although she knows that she will one day die on the Island of Evil, she feels that the séance is her duty as the Conjure Woman.

Matt once again reveals his status as the Fool (or, rather, le Mat) when he remarks that Jean Paul and Jacques are indistinguishable “except by [their] manner of dress.” Evidently, he hasn’t considered the possibility that THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES can possess Jean Paul and thus wear the exact same clothes as him. In fact, Padre, he’s worn that same extremely flattering blue suit before when talking to you, and you don’t even know it.

Jean Paul orders Vangie to begin the séance and we get a lovely overhead shot of the glass-top table. I’ve already posted high-quality photos of the table, but I love it so much that the laws of obsessive fandom require me to post it again:

Oh, how I love that table and those chairs. Actually, I love the whole Maljardin set.

Jean Paul volunteers to help Vangie, Raxl, and Quito set up, which seems to surprise them because otherwise he spends no time cleaning up after himself and all his time brooding, throwing glasses at priceless artifacts, and--of course--getting possessed. Elizabeth and Holly see them setting up, and the former heads down the stairs to watch.

Elizabeth is wearing this fabulous ensemble with a checkered dress and a red scarf pinned with a brooch in the shape of a dahlia. It most likely came from her actress Paisley Maxwell’s own wardrobe, as she mostly wore her own clothes on the show and even provided some costumes for the other actresses. (LINK CONTAINS SPOILERS THROUGH THE END OF MALJARDIN)

A shot with a better view of her brooch.

Vangie tells Jean Paul that the room needs to be dark, and that the only light in the room during the ceremony should be candlelight. Cue Jean Paul glancing up to the chandelier precariously suspended directly over the glass-top table:

If this isn’t painfully obvious foreshadowing, then I don't know what is.

The chandelier even sways ever so slightly as he stares at it!

Holly asks if she, her mother, Dan, and Tim can attend, and Vangie tells them no! According to her, they are all “disruptive influences” who will derail the séance, which will likely be too frightening for her anyway. Jean Paul tells Elizabeth to go, too, which she takes as a personal attack because Jacques has tricked her into believing that he’s in love with her.

LMAO

They are almost ready to begin the ceremony, but first, we need more blatant foreshadowing! We need Jean Paul to glance up at the swaying chandelier again, apparently without thinking of the slight chance that it might fall and cause an accident:

Seriously, Jean Paul? You have an IQ of 187. You should know better.

This is some heavy-handed foreshadowing, even for a show that constantly reminds us that Jacques Eloi des Mondes is THE DEVIL and cuts to close-ups of him every other time THE DEVIL is mentioned. I think you can guess what will happen about halfway through this episode. I normally try to avoid spoilers and to warn about any that I include or link to, but let’s face it. You know that chandelier is going to come crashing down at some point in the episode, because of all the emphasis that the script and the cinematography have already put on it. It’s a foregone conclusion. And I’m sorry, but Jean Paul with his alleged super-genius IQ has no excuse. Move the table! Have Quito tighten the chain! Replace the chandelier with a single candle or small candelabrum on the table! Do something to lower the chances of the accident that we all know is coming!

Vangie begins the séance to contact Erica.

After commercial break (hence the lack of the Drive-In Classics logo), the séance begins. We have Jean Paul, Vangie, Raxl, and Quito, plus Alison and Matt and an empty chair for Erica’s spirit. It’s a marvelous scene with just the right amount of eerie atmosphere, which Vangie’s hypnotic voice only enhances. They bridge the divide between the worlds of the living and the dead and all seems like it will succeed, but then

The third one is my favorite.

Jean Paul contorts his face again as he tries to resist Jacques’ possession of him, but ultimately his efforts are in vain:

Jacques’ beringed hand attacking Jean Paul. This also means that the chain created when the séance participants joined hands has been broken.

Matt asks Jean Paul what’s wrong and Jacques answers. “Everything is under control now,” he whispers with evil relish.

“No! Not now! NOT NOW!” Vangie screams, and then comes the inevitable:

Well, there goes one of Jean Paul’s astrological sign tables. Good thing he has another in storage.

I’m not going to lie: the first time I watched this scene, I shouted “No!” when the chandelier fell, even though I could see it coming. Somehow, despite the foregone conclusion and Jean Paul’s ridiculous headache faces, the scene creates enough suspense and horror to be effective. Plus, if you’re like me, you care about Vangie and don’t want to see anyone hurt her, even if that someone is 6′4″ with amazing cheekbones, a devilishly sexy smile, and the most beautiful hands on any man living or dead.

The power also goes out at the same time, and the handsome devil denies all responsibility for it despite his history of screwing with the electricity:

Classic Jacques sarcasm.

Conveniently, the lights come back on a moment later. They come just in time for Alison and Matt to tend to Vangie, whom the chandelier has knocked unconscious:

You can tell her injury is serious even before her close-up, because the Reverend is in shirtsleeves.

A close-up, showing the blood on Vangie’s forehead.

Jacques tells Holly that there was nothing seriously wrong with the electricity, and Dan flips out on him, insisting that “one day you’re going to blow us all up.” (Does he suspect that Jean Paul is somehow playing with the lights?) Jacques insists that even he can’t afford to buy a nuclear weapon. The fact that he knows what a nuclear weapon is serves as yet more evidence that he’s really the Devil and not a ghost from the 17th century (although, if he were a ghost, perhaps he would have overheard Jean Paul talking about nuclear weapons before).

I think that this is one of maybe two times that I ever envied Holly.

Vangie stands up, but doesn’t say a word to any of the characters, just stares blankly ahead of her. She doesn’t even react when Alison slaps her. Jacques cruelly snaps his fingers in front of her, which Alison demands he not do because it might cause her to be “destroyed, locked into a world of darkness, less living than dead.” She adds that “[she] can’t help but thinking that what happened to her is so like [Quito],” and turns to face the zombie who is watching the now cataleptic Conjure Woman, horrified:

It makes you wonder what sort of traumatic memories from Quito’s human life the sight of Jacques turning Vangie into a zombie evoked. Also, we never learn who turned Quito into a zombie in the show canon, but this scene shows that Jacques knows how and is therefore a possible candidate.

This is yet another point where the plot of the aired episodes differs from the original story as indicated in the Lost Episode summaries. In the original Episode 36, Vangie would have revealed Jacques’ possession of Jean Paul to all the participants at the séance, thus confirming for Raxl that Jean Paul is two different men. I suspect that Matt would refuse to believe it because of his lack of belief in devils and Dan because it sounds irrational and like a cover-up for Jean Paul’s alleged crimes, but Raxl, Vangie, and possibly Alison would have the evidence they needed.

Anyway, Jacques and most of the others leave Quito to clean up the mess while they have some drinks in the dining room. Mostly, it’s Jacques trying to pressure everyone into drinking while trying to gaslight them into believing that there was a storm outside even though there wasn’t. They’re not buying it, least of all Dan, who now has yet another reason to be suspicious of him.

I should also add that Part 3 of the YouTube version of this episode (which contains this scene) is out of sync, meaning that most of the subtitles are combined with the wrong shots and the wrong characters. Sadly, we don’t get anything on the level of “NO NO NO YES YES YES,” but the out-of-sync audio does make Dan’s accusation almost look like Jacques is confessing to making the chandelier fall:

YES YES YES

He offers brandy to both Matt and Holly, but Matt tells him not to give it to either of them, so Jacques brings the glasses he just filled over to Elizabeth instead.  He starts talking about how no one was hurt, meaning that she has to remind him that Vangie was injured. Still, “she wasn’t really seriously injured,” so I guess for him it doesn’t count. He sends her away and starts to drink, which I guess lets Jean Paul recover his body because he de-possesses him, finally letting Jean Paul see the mess he left behind.

I already posted a lot of headache faces in this entry, so here I’m just going to include my favorite from this scene.

For a moment, Jean Paul looks like he’s going to cry, but his sadness turns to shock when Quito shows him the writing box. The wooden box which previously only held sand, now bears a message written in grains of rice in the shape of the symbol of the Great Serpent. Quito appears terrified by the message, but sadly he can’t translate it for Jean Paul. Raxl, too, freaks out when she sees it and says it’s “from the Conjure Man, but he needs the Conjure Woman to translate it and she’s still in a trance!”

Apparently, the Conjure Man communicates in grains of rice.

Although she can’t translate the whole message, she can tell Jean Paul, “It tells of more accidents. Spirits are very angry...with you!”

This final scene, like the scene with the crashing chandelier, is genuinely chilling, resulting in one of the scariest episodes of the Maljardin arc. This is one of SP’s finest episodes and certainly one of Ian Martin’s finest from his nine-week period as headwriter. I’m not certain what led the producers to decide to have Vangie enter a trance instead of revealing Jacques’ possession to the other characters, but most likely it was to increase the suspense and the terror. Also, I’m starting to wonder if perhaps Quito isn’t actually undead, but instead is an immortal like Raxl (and Vangie?), but stuck in a magically-induced trance. Perhaps when he recoiled in fear over Vangie’s transformation, it was because Jacques (or perhaps the Conjure Man) did the same exact thing to him three centuries ago.

Coming up next: Jacques continues to meddle in affairs on Maljardin while Raxl struggles to interpret the writing box. (But before then--hopefully--the next part of my review of Shadow Over Seventh Heaven.)

{<- Previous: Episode 35  ||  Next: Episode 37 ->}

[tespuco]

PotC Liveblog: Curse of the Black Pearl

CotBP is one of my ‘forever films’ for sure - every time I rewatch it I not only feel the same sense of wonder and delight as the first time but invariably discover new things to love and squee over as well. 

I would love to learn more about Elizabeth as a child: this lonely, solemn girl who feels something perverse in her thrill at pirate stories and gallows humor, yet who gravely takes on the duty of looking after young William Turner because she wants to be good, too. (@dollsome-does-tumblr‘s Elizabeth-centric, post-CotBP fic Shrouded Heart explores this ambivalence in her self-concept with heart-wrenching emotional realism)

Wow, Will was doomed from the start, wasn’t he? I would be too if I were a 12-year old piece of half-drowned human driftwood waking up to a miniature guardian angel who softly murmurs, “I’m watching over you” before I drift back into unconsciousness

Framing Elizabeth’s memory of seeing the Black Pearl and meeting Will as a dream, one that impels her to put on the medallion, suggests fate or some other supernatural influence at work - a nifty way for writers to sidestep accusations of Contrived Coincidences and call it Destiny instead!

Keira Knightley is so beautiful hELP

Awww, Will is so proud of his handiwork! It’s interesting because the film puts a fair amount of emphasis on it early on, his skill and pride in not just wielding swords but forging them - only to tell us later that he’s really a pirate by blood and at heart. I like it when fics like fried_flamingo & salr323′s At World’s End: Redux lean into Will’s identity as a blacksmith and extrapolate from it an affinity for land/earth/balance/creation as opposed to the sea’s wild potential for destruction. (He lost his father to the sea and to piracy; he never learned to love either.)

My god everyone’s layered in buttoned-up and corseted finery in the fucking TROPICS no wonder Elizabeth passed out (ngl despite the ‘Caribbean’ in the title and visiting the Disney ride in New Orleans Square, I remember stupidly assuming Port Royal was part of England, not Jamaica; at 9 yrs old my geography was shit and I had yet to learn what imperialism was ok)

“A ship with black sails that’s crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out.”  shiver me timbers now that’s how you tell a ghost story

“If he were telling the truth, he wouldn’t have told us” has the same antimonious energy as Winnie-the-Pooh going, “Well, it’s a good thing I noticed it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have seen it”

This is definitely tmi but in retrospect the rescue scene played a formative part in my (bi)sexual awakening: for a long time my go-to pubescent fantasies involved near-drownings followed by hypersexualized resuscitation attempts and frantic uncomfortable sex on wet rocks in damp subterranean caves

Omg I just realized Elizabeth’s scene with Jack on the docks mirrors the one she had on deck Will in the flashback: a (wo)man overboard recovered, rescuer hovering over a supine body and fingering the pirate medallion around his/her neck, love at first sight

“One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.” “Though it seems enough to condemn him.” Basically “no good deed goes unpunished” but with style

16 years later and the swordfight between Jack and Will holds up as an iconic example of swashbuckling fight choreo. I also love how the exchange establishes the Jack/Will dynamic: the former as a kind of ironic mentor (“Excellent form. But how’s your footwork?”), the latter as an unwilling pupil who nevertheless mostly plays along

“I practice with them three hours a day.” “You need to find yourself a girl, mate.” Raunchy Shakespearean-grade comedy at its finest (along with  “This sweet, proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga…What do you think?” “It’ll linger.”)

“This shot is not meant for you.” I love the hints we get of Jack’s darker side: he keeps his bitterness close and his grudges closer; for 10 years he saved that bullet for one man, refusing to expend it in any number of life-threatening situations in the interim; he drawls, “Worry about your own fortunes, gentlemen. The deepest circle of Hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers,” like a witch uttering a curse. A dishonest man, methinks, would not feel the stab of betrayal so deeply.

The running joke of Will not getting recognized for his skills and earnest efforts is what makes Norrington’s parting words to him at the end so satisfying: “This is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life.” (NORRINGTON KNEW IT WAS HIM ALONG BUT WAS TOO JEALOUS TO EVER PRAISE HIM TO HIS FACE that petty little shit lmao)

I remember looking up the definition of ‘acquiesce’ after watching CotBP as a kid, so Barbossa had a direct hand in expanding my 9-year old vocabulary.

Competent, hyper-focused!Jack at the wheel with an unholy gleam in his eye as he gets drenched in a torrential downpour is my kind of Byronic hero

I prefer Jack Sparrow’s backstory to remain a loose collection of rumors and half-truths jumbled together even in his own memory, but I DO want to know how Jack and Gibbs met, how the former earned the latter’s (mostly) steadfast loyalty. I want to eavesdrop on all the inebriated conversational musings they’ve shared over a bottle of rum, whether topside on the decks of a ship not the Pearl or shouted above/muttered below the ruckus of a Tortuga tavern.

I’d also read/watch a prequel about the mutiny. “He plays things closer to the vest now. And a hard-learned lesson it was.” WHO HURT YOU JACK

Well obviously Barbossa did, but I still have so many questions! How did a younger, more trusting Jack earn the ire of his first mate and crew, to the point where they’d stage a mutiny? Then again, to hear Gibbs tell it, Barbossa simply appealed to Jack’s sense of fairness; perhaps in their unadulterated greed they saw Jack’s honest streak as a vulnerability to exploit? Or was it something in Jack’s manner of captaincy that fomented discontent? Idk, I can’t tell based on the way the crew jeers at “Gents, you all remember Captain Jack Sparrow?” whether their antipathy smacks more of derision or vitriol.

“Mr. Gibbs? …Jack? Jack Sparrow?” Elizabeth must be SO confused by these blasts from her distant and more recent past: who knows when Gibbs left Norrington’s employ, but the last time she saw Jack he had her in chains and at gunpoint, and now apparently he’s conspiring with Will??

I’ve always been kind of baffled by the cabin scene between Elizabeth and Will. What is she apologizing for? Taking the medallion and not telling him? Or for telling him and making him realize his father was a pirate?

Also her tearful, “Because I was afraid that you were a pirate. That would have been awful” is the biggest, bald-faced lie if I’ve ever heard one. She took an interest in him BECAUSE she thought he was a pirate (although I do think young Elizabeth had been afraid FOR him, after Gibbs’ pantomime of the hangman’s noose)

“daft like Jack” should be my Jack/Elizabeth/Will OT3 tag

Ah, back when PotC incorporated visual gags to spice up their action sequences instead of building the equivalent of a Rube-Goldberg machine around a single, unfunny gag. Compare: Gibbs’ canteen making its unlikely way from the Interceptor to the Pearl and back as an accompaniment to the battle and Jack’s breakout from his cell VS the overextended Tortuga sequence in DMC where Jack weaves in and out of a brawl to no apparent purpose except to try on different hats and then exit the tavern.

“Though it does seem a shame to lose something so fine, don’t it? …So I’ll be having that dress back before you go.” Barbossa is despicable and Geoffrey Rush delivers his lines with such RELISH

I will squee over the island scene & its deleted segments at length in a separate post so for now I’ll just say: Elizabeth is obviously a huge Jack Sparrow stan and she’s doing a piss-poor job of hiding it

Listen it’s easy to overlook Norrington’s sense of duty and decency in the face of the stick up his butt and his bouts of extreme pettiness. But the fact is that Jack’s attempt to manipulate and appeal to his ambition fails. Because the Commodore is no Barbossa - he’s a fine man who serves others, not only himself; who cares whether a woman’s acceptance of his proposal is less than sincere; who wouldn’t have risked his men ambushing the Pearl’s crew had he known about the curse (last two courtesy of the deleted scenes on the Dauntless).

Now that I’m paying closer attention I’m just blown away by the careful consideration in Jack’s plans. He’s playing both sides to further his own goal of enacting revenge at minimal risk to himself, but he looks after the unwitting parties he involves in the process, too: while the Royal Navy occupies the undead pirates from the safety of their long range cannons, Jack can intervene to save Will, use him to break the curse, and kill Barbossa. All the good guys win! (He couldn’t have foreseen the Trojan Horse or the en masse submarine attack; nor Norrington’s pettiness in defying Jack’s instructions to man cannons that would’ve blown the undead into smithereens.)

Exhibit B: “Now, to be quite honest with you, there’s still a slight risk for those aboard the Dauntless, which includes the future Mrs. Commodore.” Disregard his insouciant delivery here, and you get Jack telling the whole, unvarnished truth!!! “What do you have to lose?” he asks Norrington, who brushes him off: “Nothing I’d lament being rid of.” It’s JACK who reminds him that for all their precautions, the ambush might put Elizabeth in danger. Jack knows about the curse, and after being marooned on an island with her, he knows Elizabeth will do whatever’s necessary to save Will. So he finds a way to ensure not only that she won’t interfere, but that she’ll be kept safe from harm!! I’ll never be over it

And Murtogg’s “You think he wasn’t telling the truth?” line is such a great callback to their early sketch as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern on the docks of Port Royal. These dimwits happen to know Jack does tell the truth, expecting no one to believe him. His own exhortations on the subject notwithstanding, Jack’s real trickery lies in rarely telling the whole truth, letting people make their own assumptions, and giving them enough rope by which to hang themselves.

Governor Swann is such a darling, the ultimate doting father. It’s easy to assume he doesn’t get Elizabeth at all, but he’s no idiot. He rightly suspects she only agreed to marry Norrington to save Will, and while he’s not above nudging her in that direction (“I believe you made a very good decision today. Couldn’t be more proud of you.”), he’s also not about to let his only daughter bargain away her happiness for the sake of his OTP. (And his face of exasperated affection at Jack’s hanging, when he realizes she only pretended to faint as a diversion! Notice the lack of surprise in his expression: that’s the face of a father who is all too used to her Pulling This Kind of Shit)

Jack keeps popping up like a bad penny and both Norrington and Barbossa are so appalled every time lol

The sequence where Will breaks the curse and Jack shoots Barbossa and Elizabeth jerks like she’s the one who was shot is just - *chef’s kiss* the CHOREOGRAPHY! the CAMERAWORK! the EDITING! 

“I feel…cold.” *a single apple rolls out of Barbossa’s dead hands* Can you believe a summer blockbuster movie invented poetic justice tell your English professors

“If all I have achieved here is that the hangman will earn two pairs of boots instead of one, so be it.” Ugh Will is sooo not my type but he’s so DASHING and GOOD no wonder Elizabeth covets him. What a hero

“My place is between you and Jack.” Ohhh you know what I would love to track the main characters’ alignment arcs throughout the series. Here Will’s situating himself as the Chaotic Good between Jack’s Chaotic Neutral and Norrington’s Lawful Good. But I would argue he’s still pretty Lawful and, even under Jack’s tutelage, only resorts to Chaos in extremis; meanwhile Jack flits between Chaotic Good and Chaotic Neutral; Elizabeth’s arc is similar except it’s unidirectional; and without the Law at his back Norrington spirals into Neutral Evil. 

It’s the Sparrabeth shipper in me but the last line of the movie is Jack singing a song that Elizabeth taught him. (*Cutler Beckett voice* “We’ve had dealings in the past. And we’ve each left our mark on the other.”) For a fic about what Jack leaves her, may I redirect you to Shrouded Heart by dollsome, linked above - and this brain dump comes full circle!

[empressdrega27]

Bad Ending AU (not canon)

Soooooo @24hourshipping wrote a similar fic and I figured I would write the bad end for my universe as well! It’s exceptionally sad lmao

Please don’t read if you’re prone to depressive episodes as a result of angst, it’s under a cut for those that don’t want the sad~

Elizabeth sobbed, paying no attention to the ache in her ribs or the searing pain in her chest. She had better things to worry about after all. The man of her dreams was dying, and there was nothing she could do. Lancelot refused to hand over the tablet, it seemed he was determined to end his life, as well as the lives of all the exhibits.

“You monster!! Why can’t you just grow a pair and give me the tablet?!”, Eliz shrieked, her voice hoarse from crying, “Why can’t you just leave us alone? They’ve done nothing to you and you’re killing them!!”

“This is not a life worth living, creature!”, Lancelot spat bitterly, “To be nothing but a wax figure, ogled and ridiculed by lesser folk, I shan’t have it! You should thank me, I’m giving all these poor souls the rest they deserve.”

“NO!! YOU’RE A COWARD, AFRAID TO LIVE WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR EXISTENCE IS A LIE!! YOU WERE NEVER REAL, AND YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH THAT!! YOU’RE NO KNIGHT, YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A GOOD FOR NOTHING FAKE!! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BEAR THE NAME LANCELOT, BECAUSE I’VE MET HIM AND YOU’RE A POOR IMITATION!!”, Eliz’s voice shook the building and Lance’s eyes widened, perhaps in indignation, perhaps in fear, but Elizabeth didn’t care.

All she cared about was Ahk, and he wasn’t doing well at all. It was horrible, more awful than she could have possibly imagined. Ahk was decomposing, slowly transforming back to a mummy, and all Eliz could do was watch. He raised a hand and shakily tried to push her face so that she was facing away from him, but he was so weak he could barely manage even that.

“Please…… look away……. I…… I don’t want you…….to see me…...like this”, he rasped.

Eliz’s eyes shone with tears and she grabbed his hand and kissed it.

“No, I want to look at you, cuz you’re beautiful no matter what, and I want to see you, I want to look at you forever. I love you”.

The pharaoh blinked a tear from his eyes and smiled at her, “Even when I look like this…… you are still so kind to me. My……… goddess.”

Eliz’s eyes widened as his body continued to wither away and his soul began to slip from his body.

“N-no…. No! You can’t leave me!! Please!! Please don’t go!! I can’t…..”, her voice broke, “I don’t know what I’ll do without you!!!”

She turned sharply and watched as Lancelot froze, the tablet slipping from his hands. As if in slow motion, Eliz saw the tablet fall and hit the concrete, and in a single horrible moment…..

It shattered into a million pieces.

The dragoness screamed, watching as all the exhibits returned to their frozen and inanimate forms, and she returned her gaze to Ahk. A ragged sob tore from her chest as she looked at the mummy that only hours ago was her mate. He was near unrecognizable, and even his clothes looked worn and ancient, his crown tarnished as the tablet had been.

Eliz sobbed, her anguished cries echoing throughout the night air. She suddenly stood and limped to the remains of the tablet, shouting a spell though her tears. It had no effect. She screamed it over and over again but nothing happened, and Eliz screamed again.

Her breathing became ragged and she spun to where Lancelot’s wax figure stood, it’s face still wide eyed. Eliz snarled and drew a breath before exhaling sharply, a jet of white-blue fire bursting forth from her open maw and completely decimating the wax figure. Not even ashes remained of Lancelot now.

Eliz turned and with a wave of her hands a few portals opened, closing gently around each exhibit and transporting them back to their home, back to the museum. Larry and Nicky followed through another portal, and when they arrived they stood together silently, watching their friend with sad expressions.

As quiet as a ghost, Eliz placed every exhibit in their rightful place, but she couldn’t change their pained expressions, nor could she fix their poses. It didn’t matter though. Lastly, Eliz picked up Ahk, and her heart ached at how light his body felt. She walked silently to his tomb, sliding open his sarcophagus and placing him gently inside. On the lid were sticky notes with doodles she had drawn for him, and a nightlight shaped like a smiling cat. There was a pillow that he had found, full of microbeads but strangely not enough so that the pillow was always too squishy. He had loved it though, because it was purple, like her.

She tried to take the items that were laid in his sarcophagus, but she couldn’t bring herself too. Something about taking them felt wrong, and she wanted the things he loved to remain there with him. Instead she took the one thing that she knew he would want her to have; his cloak.

She replaced it with a copy, one she had made long ago in case his real one went missing. That seemed like such a faraway time now. Eliz put the cloak over her shoulders, and she looked down one final time. It was then that her legs gave out and she collapsed beside him.

“Why? Why does everyone I love die? Why does everything that makes me happy get taken away from me? Why did you have to take him?! WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE TAKEN ME INSTEAD?! HE DIDN’T DESERVE THIS!! HE WAS GOOD AND KIND AND I LOVED HIM!!!”, her voice died to a mere whisper, “I loved him so much”.

There was so much she wanted to say to him, the man she had loved so deeply. So many words that were yet to be spoken, and would now never be said. Eliz pulled the lid closed and set the heavy slab of stone on top. She then looked at the wall where the tablet would be, and she wondered what to put in it’s place.

An idea struck her and she held her hand out, a beam of magical energy carving a message into the wall. It was written in runes that couldn’t be read by mortal beings and it could never be removed or covered. And with that, Elizabeth walked out of the tomb and down the stairs and through the doors of the museum for the last time.

Larry and Nicky never saw her again.

That day the city was in an uproar of the theft of the Tablet of Ahkmenrah and the strange message that the thief supposedly left. No one ever figured out what it said.

Only the dragoness who wrote it knew, for the words were seared into her forever;

‘Here lies the man I love,

Taken from me by a cowardly wretch,

I return him here to be amongst his family,

For they were killed as well,

And here I also leave my heart,

For it belongs to him,

And I have no more use for it anyways.’

Signed, The Fallen Goddess

Drega was rarely seen, for she seldom left her home anymore. Her soul had been shattered as surely as the tablet was, and there was nothing that could repair it. And no matter how much she wanted to, the dragoness was cursed to never die, so she would live forever with a broken heart.

But she was far more clever than that.

It is said that she went to the realm between realms, that she went to the void of worlds and closed her eyes to reality. Casting herself and her responsibilities away.

The universe saw her and granted her the rest she desired, but still her soul could not reach his.

It seems that this story has no happy ending.

[tomholland-mcu]

Christmas Party 1/2( Tom Holland )

Warning: flirty, teasing, slight smut in the end ( read at your own cost!)

A/N: holy shit this isn’t even that bad but i feel very sinful and unclean and no longer innocent and pure... never doing this again lmao so enjoy it ( i hope? idk if this is even good lmao i can’t handle smuts tbh but i wanted to do something different to boost my writing juices :) )

ALSO this is in your pov and the other part will be a short one in tom’s + the gif of the dress is NOT THE SAME AS THE ONE I DESCRIBED ( but theyre both red and it was the closest one i could find )

-

Tonight would be the night. For the many years of being with Tom, he was very patient and didn't want to pressure you to do things you weren't comfortable with. You were a virgin and you wanted to stay one until marriage but you wanted it to be special and with someone you loved. You wanted it as badly as he did now, and you finally decided tonight would be the night. The 24th of Christmas, the day of Robert Downey Jr's biggest party of the year: his Christmas party.

It took you forever to decide what to wear since it was a Christmas party with a black, red and green dress code. After spending weeks rummaging through every store's dress isle with your best friend, you finally chose a simple off the shoulder maroon dress. It had a sweetheart neck line and two slits that went up until the mid-thigh, not exposing too much as it showed off your slender long legs. It displayed your figure perfectly, along with a bit of cleavage. It was the most daring and sexy dress and something you typicaly would never wear but tonight was an exception.

You sat at your vanity, putting on your fake lashes and some mascara as you finish your make up. You had a smokey eye and daring matte red lips. You paired your look with curled hair and a small braid, as you took your black clutch that matchd your matte black nails you had done the day before. You sat on the chair as you slid your feet into the studded Valentino heels thay added inches to your height.

You stood up as you stared at your reflection on the mirror, shocked at how you looked. This was a side of you you never thought you would see nor display to the world but you liked feeling sexy and beautiful.

"Honey! Are you done? We've got to -" Tom exclaimed but stopped and his breath got caught as he opened the door to see you standing in front of him. He was at a loss of words of how hot and stunning you looked. You were a Greek goddess compared to him.

"Like what you see?" You smirk as you show off your legs through the slits on the dress, displaying your luscious legs that made him drool even more.

He raised a brow, shocked at your playful attitude and walked forward and put his hand on your waist, pulling you close to him. He was about to kiss you on the lips but instead you make your noses touch.

"Did you just eskimo kiss me?" He said in shock.

"Don't want to ruin the make up before all the fun,do we now?" You said as you take his hand away and walk away, leaving him

speechless. Where did this attitude come from? he wondered.

You two leave the house and into the car. The car ride was silent as you two played with your phones. Along the journey, Tom would sneak some glances your way and you notice, eyes still fixed on the phone but you crossed your legs, showing them off to him as if unintentionally doing so.

You guys arrive as he opens his door and walk out, reaching out his hand for you to take as you exit the car, millions of flashing lights on you two as the paparazzi couldn't keep their eyes off the young Hollywood couple.

You smile at the cameras, proud of how good you looked as the photographers continue to snap photos of you and Tom together.

You guys continue to walk away until you escaped the crowd of photographers, now standing in front of the house's front door as a security guard asked for your names, making sure you were on the guest list, then entering.

You looked around in awe as you saw the Christmas decorations displayed and hung around the house. From the kitchen to the living room, each inch of this house was not left uncovered in red and green for the holiday season.

You two walk together as he puts his hand around your waist, holding you close as you guys squeeze through the endless crowds of people. Robert really did over-do himself, with the decorations, countless number of people, live music and stage.

You and Tom stop as you hear a familiar voice calling your name, turning to see Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie in a small circle having a conversation. You two walk over their way as you stop and talk to them, hugging each and everyone you meet.

"Hey Y/N! Wow you look stunning! Never would've thought I would see you in soemthing like this." Sebastian said as you pulled him into a hug, then releasing as his eyes look you from head to toe.

"Tom's gonna get some tonight aye." Anthony winks at you as you nudge him with your elbow.

"Be safe kids and use protection!" He continues exclaiming at you and Tom but Tom was talking to Chris Hemsworth to notice what he just said.

You turn your head to see Chris Evans and his warm smile as you two hug. "My little sister's all grown up." He says, pretending to tear up. You and Chris immediately clicked when you two first met in the set of Civil War and he was the older brother you never knew you needed.

"Oh come on Chris don't be so over- dramatic." You roll your eyes in disbelief.

"I mean look at you! You look hot!" He said, receiving a raised eyebrow from Tom.

"No need to be jealous Tommy," you said, chuckling.

You then whisper in Chris' ear and say, " He doesn't know what's coming his way." You both smirk at each other, knowing what you meant.

You and Tom then ended your conversations as you guys see Robert around a large group of A- star celebrities.

"Robert!" Tom exclaims, happy to see his favourite guy.

"Tom! Y/N!" He exclaims back as he leaves his conversation to talk to you two.

"Great to see you man!" Robert says as he hugs Tom. He pulls away as he sees you, gasping.

He takes your hand and twirls you around, admiring you.

" My oh my Y/N you look ravishing. Who knew you could pull of something like this?" He smirks and winks at you without Tom's notice.

"I know I've been told." You wink " There's a lot you don't know Robert.." You smirk, him knowing what you mean.

"I can tell.." He smiles and turns to Tom to wink at him and whispers something in his ear.

You look at Tom to see a shocked expression on his face. Even in the dark you could see his cheeks flushed pink. What did Robert say?!

You raise your brow at Robert, wanting to know what he said to Tom to make him blush so hard but he just laughs.

Him and Tom continue to talk, as you look around and spot a bar as well as Scarlett and Elizabeth having some drinks and decided to join them.

"Scarlett! Elizabeth!" You shout as they both laugh and turn their heads seeing you.

"Y/N!" They both exclaimed as they walk with a drink in hand. You hug them, smiling wide, happy to see two of your favourite people.

" He couldn't keep his hands off you Y/N. Did you not realize his hand was on your waist the whole time? Did you not see his sneaky little glances at you as you talked with Seb and Anthony?" Elizabeth said.

You looked at her shock, but smirk as you know your plan is clearly having an affect on him.

"Well that's the plan Liz. You know I'm tired of being the sweet innocent girl everyone thinks I am. I have another side to me too. One Tom doesn't even know of so why not show it off to the world today?" You said.

The two girls laughed nudging you. " I like this girl. You should be her more often." Scarlett joked as you roll your eyes and ask for a shot of vodka.

[rather-impertinent]

Do Not Forget It

A/N: for my fave @arlome "you're holding back" (I forgot what number it is lmao) 💓 enjoy friends! xo

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A stone plops with speed into the water, disturbing the reflection of the moonlight, followed by another and then another and another. The bowler is a one Dr. Dwight Enys, who has abandoned his role as host in search of a quiet place to clear his thoughts. The water had always been a comfort to him, and the small deck and pond at the back of Killewarren, near the small, private garden was his favourite feature of the impressive estate. He hurls pebble after pebble, stone after stone, rock after rock into the poor, defenceless stream. He is so preoccupied by his thoughts that his wife's hand on his shoulder nearly ceases the function of his heart.

He stumbles several feet backwards and drops the small handful of pebbles he had been holding. "Caroline!" he exclaims, clutching his chest.

"Dr. Enys," she greets, giggling at him. I see you have still not mastered the art of skipping rocks," she teases. "Fear not, I shall teach you again on Sunday." She pulls her husband close to her and kisses him fervently before pulling away, feeling somewhat affronted. "You're holding back," she observes with a pouting face.

With some effort he shakes his head. "I'm not," he lies, his tone light. He has always been a terrible liar, a man of such upright moral values could not possibly be expected to be skilled in the art of deceit.

"Dwight," she says, offering her best encouraging smile. "Is something the matter? You can tell me," she takes his hands in her own, "We promised long ago not to keep anything from each other."

He smiles slightly. "That we did," he admits before sighing heavily. "I- I just wonder if such occasions," he motions to the house behind them, "are necessary, and so often."

She laughs dismissively, unaware of the ulterior motive behind his comment. "Oh, Dwight, I know you're no lover of society but I'm afraid such parties are indeed necessary for preserving our good name!"

Her comment stings him for some reason. "Does not my work do that?" he counters defensively.

Caroline releases her grip on his hands and rocks back and forth on her heels impatiently. "Of course it does - but in a different way! We have discussed this, Dwight! Like it or not, you are master of Killewarren, and you must take heed of the responsibilities of such a role," she has not noticed that he has blushed furiously at this, "Besides, it is an opportunity to spend more time together."

An owl hoots in the distance. "We've scarce exchanged two words all evening," he points out flatly.

Flustered by his logic, she hopes to win him over by a playfully taunt. "I'm afraid my dance card has been full. Such is the hardship of having a rich, beautiful wife! Perhaps I can fit in a dance with my favourite doctor some time later this evening." She smiles cheekily at him.

He tries to smile but finds it cannot reach his eyes. "I think I shall go to bed. I find I am feeling somewhat ill." He nods curtly at her and approaches the house.

That nod, Caroline reflects, is akin to one he had given her long ago, when she had teased him about the lives of his patients. The thought of such informality tightens in her chest and she observes him as he is about to enter the house. "Dwight! Wait!" He does not hear her, or perhaps ignores her deliberately, and slams the large oak door behind him.

Caroline returns to the party and Dwight's absence is now obvious to her. She accepts a dance with George Warleggan but is so distracted it is a miracle the man has any toes left by the end of the brief encounter. She excuses herself brusquely and approaches the table to fetch another glass of port, her third in only fifteen minutes since reemerging from outside.

Two men stand a few metres to her right, she does not recognise them but her ears prick at the recognition of their conversation topic.

"Is Dr. Enys truly a gentleman then, do you think?" the older man asks his younger friend.

The younger man smoothes his richly embroidered waistcoat as he considers his answer. "Supposedly," he scoffs. "But a man with such a queer sympathy for the poor could never truly be a gentleman. I have heard he wishes for there to be no divide between the likes of us and the vulgars. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?"

The two men laugh gruffly, which sends a wave of anger coursing through Caroline's body. "Indeed I have not. It is one thing to have sympathy with the vulgars but it is another to dress like one!" the older man continues in disgust, and Caroline's face grows redder. "The man's attire must be fifteen years out of fashion! One would expect to see a better dressed master of Killewarren, presuming his primary motive was the impressive fortune. Why, Ray Penvenen would turn in his grave to think of such an improper upstart inheriting his house and niece. Lord knows why Enys was so offended when you told him so!"

So, that is what is wrong with Dwight. She gulps her glass of port in one smooth motion, earning her several raised eyebrows, but she cares not. Before propriety has the chance to influence her decision she is approaching the two men; her features contorted in fury, her knuckles clenched with such force they are as white as the moon that shines in the sky.

Before she can open her mouth to launch an explosive tirade in defense of her husband, she is enveloped in a tight hug. "My dear, it is so good to see you!" exclaims Elizabeth Warleggan, elegantly turning her away from the two gentlemen and back towards the table of port. "My dear, you forget yourself," she warns warmly in a hushed tone. "I overheard their conversation, pray do not take it to heart. You know we all think highly of Dwight." She smiles gently at Caroline, whose temper is decreasing by the second. "Where is he?"

Caroline sighs and hesitates slightly. "He is upstairs, I believe. He has taken ill, would you believe it? Such irony!" she laughs nervously.

Elizabeth knowingly places a gentle pat on her bicep. "Go to him," she encourages quietly. "I shall see that things run smoothly here in your absence. It has been a while since George and I entertained, I find I am rather enjoying myself," she smiles brightly.

Caroline squeezes her hands lovingly in thanks and excuses herself; taking care not to sprint out of the room.

As she comes face to face with the door of their bedroom, nerves swim in her stomach. She honestly considers knocking before realising how utterly ridiculous that would be. She slowly turns the doorknob and peels the door open, closing it gently behind her. Dwight is sitting on the edge of the bed, his boots removed, staring blankly into space as he often does when he is upset; he has not acknowledged her presence.

Caroline gulps slightly before slowly edging near him. "My love?" she says shyly. Her voice brings him out of his daze and he swiftly stands up and begins untying his neckcloth. He simply nods at her again.

That second nod pricks her eyes, and she places her hands over his to cease his movements. She guides his chin with her hand so that she may look at him; his eyes are sad, like that of a small child or puppy. Her arms wrap tightly around his body. "Why did you not tell me what those horrible, impertinent scoundrels said?" she breathes against him, new anger surging through her veins at the mention of the two men downstairs, who continue to drink fine port at her expense! Bone shall have to escort them out.

Dwight's arms lightly slink around her waist and she smiles. "I did not wish to bother you with such things," he excuses lightly, his lie once again obvious to her ears.

She pushes away from him, severing their embrace. "For God's sake, Dwight!" she yells, "I am your wife! You can talk to me about anything! You know that! Why did you not tell me?"

He stiffens in response to her anger. "I did not wish to bother you," he grumbles stubbornly.

"If you do not tell me the truth this instant then I swear I shall sleep in the pink room for the remainder of our marriage! What is the matter?"

He runs an impatient hand through his styled hair. "I do not wish to embarrass you! I don't want you to feel ashamed of me!" he shouts, finally admitting the truth at last.

Caroline gasps quietly. Her comments earlier in the evening seemed to have a profound effect on him and now she sees why. She averts her eyes in shame at having fed his insecurities with her words. She sighs loudly. "Dwight, I could never feel ashamed of you," she tells him. "Your transition to master of Killewarren has been nothing short of extraordinary. Especially after your- ordeal- in France. I must doubt that there is another heiress alive who feels more pride for her husband."

He smiles shyly before his anxiety floods him again. "But- but everyone downstairs is so well-bred and proper and- gentlemanly. They thrive in such environments as this whereas I am tongue tied and foolish. I cannot help but feel they are somewhat right in suggesting I was not a suitable match for you."

"I did not marry you for your fine blue eyes nor your quality of neckcloth, Dr. Enys," she teases in attempt to calm the tightness in her chest at his implication. "Truly," she begins sincerely, nervously playing with the lace on her sleeve to distract from her vulnerability. "That all may well be true; they may have fortunes of their own and status. But since the day you chided me for my over indulgence of Horace's whims, I'm afraid there could be no other man for me but you. No man had ever stood up to me before. You challenged my every word, my selfish actions, my naive mind. You have made me who I am. Do you think I would be content to sit at home by the fire waiting for the return of any man from France?" she quickly wipes away a tear that threatens to fall. "I can assure you I would not. Perhaps I do not show it often enough, but I am truly proud to be married to such a kind, generous, intelligent, penniless country doctor!" She is both laughing and crying.

Dwight closes the distance between them with almost impossible haste and crashes his lips against hers with such passion she fears it will drain all of the air from her lungs. "I love you," he murmurs sincerely against her lips as they break apart, his brows furrowed in emotion as he considers how truly fortunate he is to have married such a wonderful, understanding woman.

She kisses him again. "I love you," she echoes ardently. She presses her index finger into his chest. "And do not forget it."

"I will not," he promises quietly, quickly kissing her again before offering his arm. "I believe you promised your favourite doctor a dance. Unless, of course, you are referring to Dr. Choake, in which case I believe is grounds for divorce!"

They laugh heartily but she does not take his arm as he expected, instead she resumes the untying of his forgotten neckcloth. "I have a fancy for a different sort of dance, one where I may prove to you just how proud I truly am," she purrs impudently.

Without any sort of resistance, he succumbs to her seduction, ripping the neckcloth from it's position and casting it carelessly onto the floor. Caroline fumbles desperately with the buttons of his waistcoat as he gently suckles her earlobe. A button slips off his vest and bounces off the floor, causing the doctor to chuckle brazenly into her ear. Her patience quite spent, she hoists the item over his head and dispenses it inattentively behind them, where it lays abandoned with the orphaned button, followed soon after by Dwight's shirt.

Dissatisfied with the uneven state of undress, he twirls her around, running his fingers through the tied lace of her gown, loosening it up. She grasps his sunny hair as he peppers avid, hot kisses along the column of her slender neck, eliciting delightful moans from his wife's parted lips. He skilfully removes her garments with the precision of a surgeons hand. He was - at present - pleasantly at peace with being considered ungentlemanly, and his wife could most assuredly not accuse him of holding back now.

[chiyohlecter]

so imma put this under a cut because at this point all of my followers must be sick of me. and yes you guessed it it is about the winter olympics. since it has been over now for a little while i have assessed all my thoughts and since all my friends are sick of me talking about this too, tumblr it is

1. all the sports/athletes i don’t care about enough to warrant their own point:

- when i made fun of the winter sports i jokingly tossed out the idea of a team luge and as i have learned the double’s luge is actually a thing and it looks… well google it

- also about luge, i have learned that it is actually more dangerous than the skeleton. that sounds fake but ok…

- those korean curling girls really were the cutest, but there’s not enough cuteness in this world to make me enjoy curling

- snowboarders get to name the tricks they invent, from what i gather they must really fucking love mcdonald’s

- elizabeth swaney is following in the footsteps of the all-time greats eddie the eagle and eric the eel, fortunately for her there is no animal that does anything even remotely resembling freestyle skiing, so no nickname like that for her

- in my post that i have mentioned earlier i also joked about hockey being first and foremost about people punching each other and listen i’m not gonna pretend that i saw even one full hockey match, but i saw a part of lots of hockey matches and holy shit i was right

- speaking of hockey, it yielded my favourite piece of commentary ever: “young has basically no teeth left, so what has he to lose?“

- i don’t even really like nordic combined (even though it combines two things that i do like so it doesn’t really add up, whatever, don’t think about it), but i do sometimes watch it and have a fav and holy shit he fucking won, johannes rydzek won, i’m really happy for him

2. speed skating (short and long track, but there are really only two things i want to say so whatever):

- ireen wust becoming the most decorated speed skater of all times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a bisexual icon!!!!!!!!!

- listen i’m as far from patriotic as one can be, the only time i even remotely feel any positive feelings about my country is during the olympics, the summer olympics that is, because let’s face it winter sports? not our greatest strength. BUT the short track speed skating relay won hungary’s first ever winter olympics gold and i’m so happy and proud and just??? agfshgfhdgfgj

3. biathlon:

- laura dahlmeier is precious and also a two-time olympic champion and i fucking love her

- is martin fourcade even human??? but joking aside i have really warmed to him in these past few years and i’m glad he did so well

- also finding out that johannes boe is only like three years older than me fucked me up, because he looks at least fourty, but good on him for that gold medal

- also arnd peiffer&simon schempp my german boys, love them. sad they only got bronze in the relay though

- and on the topic of relays: what the actual fuck were both of those relays?

4. figure skating:

- if anything this olympics just comfired that i love watching figure skating programs, but hate watching actual competitions

- like it’s beautiful and all, but any sports with judges can suck my dick, seriously scores are bullshit and someone will inevitably shout “robbed“ (believe me, i used to be that person, but no more, because i stopped giving a fuck after sochi)

- that being said there will never come a day when i don’t love carolina kostner

- or tessa and scott the pair who made me care about ice dancing, like even though i know every competition is bullshit i can’t help but be supper happy for my canadian angels

- but not as happy as i was for aljona savchenko, bullshit scores or not FUCKING FINALLY, now i can go to my death in peace, she has her gold medal

- and really now that she has achieved her dream i don’t really have any more reason to give a shit about who wins/loses, so i will go back to watching these amazing performances on yt and not worrying about wining

- also i am probably the only human on earth whose least favourite skating event is the men’s, but it’s just how it is

5. cross country skiing:

- first of all: marit bjoergen is an absolute fucking legend and i bow down before her, 15 medals, 8 gold medals, wow, just wow

- second norwegian i bow down before: johannes klaebo (i have no idea how to spell his middle name, or pronounce it for that matter), like i have seen him race like once before the olympics, but holy cow that is one really fast kid

- dario cologna winning the 15k AGAIN and it made me really happy actually

- the usa winning the women’s team sprint was just??? i mean i’m still not over it, like good on them??? but to me it was disappointing

- disappointing, because it meant only silver for sweden and charlotte kalla, who is my absolute fav and won 4 medals!!!!!!! only one of them is gold, but still i love her and am so proud of her!!!!!!!!

6. ski jumping:

- andi wellinger winning the normal hill???? FUCK YEAH

- the conditions were… let’s say rough, but in the end i think the win was well-deserved, but they didn’t have to put some of the jumpers through THAT (cough simi cough)

- i was otherwise obligated during the large hill and literally only caught the last 5 jumpers of the second round

- i know his second jump wasn’t as good, but not having seen it and then having the commentator announce that michi hayboeck was in second place after the first jump made my heart swell so much

- as for the winner i love kamil stoch, but i would love to have seen wellinger take both, and also this was the second time he jumped right onto that green line, same situation with kasai four years ago, he won then, i think wellinger should have won this one, but still a good result

- and oh the team competition… just take me back to vancouver… i don’t really like team norway (and i know this is fucking superficial, but all of them look like very specific fuckboys i have known at various points in my life, yes even the moustache man), i would have much preferd germany or poland taking this one, but really please do take me back to vancouver, because austria being 4th a mile behind the podium is just too much for me, i want them to win, always

- kasai noriaki is a fucking ledgend and i love him!!!!! 8th olympics bitch and he said he was gonna do one more!!!!!!

now hold on to your butts because alpine skiing is coming starting a whole new list!!!!

1. team event:

- i didn’t really care about this to be honest, i was rooting for austria as i usually do

- they only got second, but it’s good enough for me since they didn’t even get a medal in st moritz

- switzerland won which i guess i’m kinda sorta happy for, because i love wendy holdener and she got to round out her medal collection

2. women’s alpine combined:

- so i didn’t get to see any of this, not even reruns, i was unable to watch the slalom run because i was on my way to uni at that time and i didn’t get to watch the downhill run, because it was at 3 am and that day i already got up at 2 am to watch something else (we’ll get to that later) and after the disappointment i went back to sleep because i needed it

- anyways, i really wanted wendy to win this and her getting only a bronze was kind of a disappointment, i mean i was prepared for mika maybe beating her to it, but not gisin

- still happy for the medals wendy and mika got, i never cared about gisin, but after her win here i will definitely pay attention to her more

3. women’s giant slalom:

- okay so no viktoria or tessa on the podium is a big wow, like i was prepared for mika to win this one too (lmao i was prepared for her to come in and win literally everything), but i thought the podium would be rounded out by those two

- but it was ragnhild mowinckel and federica brignone and i couldn’t be happier about it like??? mowinckel if i’m correct was on the podium the last gs race before the games, but still what a surprise

- as for brignone? FUCK YEAH, i really really wanted her to get a medal and she did, way to go girl

4. women’s slalom:

- mika not getting a medal in slalom, finishing 4th, you must be kidding me

- but frida winning and wendy being second AFHGGASDHJFHJHJK I LOVE IT

- also katharina gallhuber winning bronze, fuck yeah austria

- this was a surprising result, but i absolutely fucking love it

5. women’s super-g:

- ester ledecka winning was the biggest shock of the games hands down, but her winning this and then another gold in snowboarding, legends only, like i do not care one bit about snowboarding, but i was rooting for her to win that one too

- but not gonna lie now i love that she won, but at first my reaction other than shock was sadness and disappointment, because she knocked anna to second place by 0.01 and anna is my absolute fav and i wanted her to win so badly, so my heart broke a little

- but still anna my fav and tina my second fav being on the podium is great and i love them and they are beautiful and talanted and amazing, but it was ester ledecka’s day

- also ngl i was kinda sad for lara too, not even getting a medal… next time little one, next time

6. women’s downhill:

- SOFIA GOGGIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOFIA GOGGIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- seriously i am so happy for her, i was hoping for this but i didn’t dare dream it would actually happen, but she won

- mowinckel second again? holy shit, look out for this girl

- lindsey taking bronze… i know she wanted something shinier, and honestly i would have been okay with her winning, because this was probably a last for her and sofia will have another chance, but still this is how it is and she said it felt like gold and i hope she means it, because what a fucking legend

7. men’s downhill:

- speaking of legends: aksel lund svindal, his win was so well-deserved and he waited for it for a really long time and i’m happy for him

- even though by far my favourite member of the norwegian team is kjetil jansrud, who took silver, but honestly i am okay with svindal winning and kjetil being only second

- i also would have loved to see an austrian on the podium, but oh well, this is how it is

- i know beat feuz was a favourite to win this, but i actually much prefer the two norwegians over him, still a medal well-deserved for him too

- also aksel lund svindal became the only man in olympics history to have won both the downhill and the super-g at the olympics, that is until…

8. men’s super-g:

- MATTHIAS MAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE MY AUSTRIAN BABY

- seriously after the downhill in sochi now he wins the super-g, both of those to my delighted surprise, i honestly love this boy, he can only ever be my second favourite austrian son, but still that is a very high place of honour at my table

- also another medal for kjetil and for beat feuz, feuz placing higher in the super-g than in the downhill might be a little bit of a surprise, i think kjetil was hoping for something better, but still he’s going home with two medals

9. men’s slalom:

- aka my death aka sochi 2 electric boogaloo, wait no i’m kidding it was actually worse

- so let’s start off with the podium before discussing crushed dreams

-andre myhrer winning at the tender age of 35? good for him, i seriously can’t muster more than this, did he deserve it? probably, yeah. do i have to be happy about it? not really. i mean he is the last slalom globe winner not called hirscher or kristoffersen, so i guess it’s fitting that he’s the one who won. and like he had injuries, he dnf-ed from second place in sochi (what goes around comes around, i guess), so yeah he is a deserving winner, but i am a salty bitch what can i say

- zenhausern winning silver… i literally have no opinion of this guy whatsoever other than yelling “jesus just how fucking tall is he????“ everytime i see him, but good for him

- michi matt winning bronze, now this one i have forseen just not behind those two people, again well-deserved, but if i’m being honest there are two austrians i would rather have seen on the podium, but i take what i can get

- now on the crushed hopes and dreams

- listen, i don’t like henrik kristoffersen, i never liked him, i don’t hate him or anything, he’s just not on the list of my favourites (which when talking about your fav’s biggest rival i think is pretty normal), but holy shit my heart broke for him a little bit, like i nearly cried on public transport, because of a guy i don’t even like. he had the chance of a lifetime, like honestly there is one person on the planet who is as good as him and he gave him a huge fucking chance, yet henrik wasted it, and i would have said that he wasted it if he came second, but this way he really, really wasted it, and honestly the reason i was so sad was not really henrik himself, but the fact that if marcel couldn’t win this then i at least wanted it to be someone who might as well have beaten him in a really tight race and that person would be henrik, but alas, no finish for henrik

- and no finish for marcel hirscher either. did it destroy me? absolutely. did i cry myself to sleep afterwards? you bet. am i still kinda sad about it? unfortunately. will i ever get over it? probably not (well there is one way i’ll definitely get over it, but i’m trying not hold out too much hope for that). would i have prefered him losing the gold, but finishing the race? i’d say so, yes. but didn’t i say at the very begining of this post that i assesed my feelings? i did say that, and i did do that. so if you want to know how i feel like overall…

10. men’s alpine combined:

- I AM REALLY SUPER FUCKING HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MARCEL!!!!!!!!!!!! MARCEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MARCEL HIRSCHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY TINY CHILD THAT I ADOPTED ALL THOSE YEARS AGO FINALLY DID IT, YOU HEAR ME HE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT SLALOM RUN WITH THE WIND, BUT HE’S LIKE YO FUCK THE WIND AND ALSO THE BEST DOWNHILL HE EVER HAD, I AGREE WITH HIM ON THAT ONE. HE’S THE FUCKING BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!

- there were other people on the podium too, alexis and victor, i am happy for both of them, but honestly jesus mary and joseph could be on the podium for all i care so long as marcel is first and he is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- also i absolutely did not cry through this entire event, whoever tells you that is a fucking liar… i also didn’t have to change my shirt because i cried into it so much just fyi…

11. men’s giant slalom:

- HEY YOU KNOW WHAT’S BETTER THAN MARCEL HIRSCHER WINNING A GOLD MEDAL? IT IS MARCEL HIRSCHER WINNING TWO GOLD MEDALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE HE DID THAT HE WON THIS ONE TOO, A FUCKING LEGEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- seriously he won it by a huge fucking margin, he left nothing up for questioning and honestly after 4 globes (not to celebrate too early, but possibly five), this was so fucking well-deserved and like he was 4th in vancouver and 4th in sochi, they say that is the worst place to be, but he came back a third time anD HE FUCKING WON

- as for the rest, henrik at least is not going home empty-handed, he won a silver medal with a second run that was amazing, and alexis the second best gs skier of the past few years won a bronze, so another well-deserved podium

- MARCEL HIRSCHER IS A TWO-TIME OLYMPIC CHAMPION AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CAN’T FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS IT

ok that’s it, bye

tl;dr the olympics was fun and i really love alpine skiing and marcel hirscher

[rather-impertinent]

Wives

A/N: I’ve been meaning to post this for ages but I’ve been really busy with uni but I promised @arlome I would post this whenever I had a minute! <3 This is my somewhat feeble attempt at being funny lmao. Ross and Dwight are in trouble...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Following a rowdy traditional dance with Mrs Martin, Ross Poldark flops breathlessly onto a hay bale and examines his best friend slumped on the grass. "Are you drunk?"

Dr. Dwight Enys straightens his posture and looks sideways at his friend, a wide grin on his face. "Well, I must concede that I am not sober," he slurs slightly.

A bark of laughter escapes Ross' mouth, and his hand slaps Dwight's back. "Nor I," he grins back, his eyes glazed as he stares towards the large bonfire several hundred feet away.

Neither Dwight nor Ross intended to attend Timothy Healey's wedding in the first instance - and above all they had not intended to stay out until dusk knocking back cup after cup of cheap, straight gin - but Zacky had persuaded them that they should support a fellow mine worker, and so they had agreed to attend the Troyl.

"They are going to kill us," a drunken Dwight states with remarkable steadiness for a man who is physically shaking at the thought of facing his wife's angry wrath.

Ross doesn't need to ask to whom he's referring. He gulps and nods slowly. "Yes, they are," he exhales loudly. "I do wish Demelza were here, though, truly I loathe dancing with anyone except her. Do you think she would forgive me if she were here to hear that?"

Dwight chuckles and pats Ross' back. "Not a chance, my friend, I think it is rather too late for flattery. Would you like to return to Killewarren and sleep in the stables together? They are quite impressive, there is much room!"

A young miner approaches the two chuckling men and taps on Dwight's shoulder. "Dr. Enys, sur, mistress Enys be here for ye."

Dwight gapes at the boy, and then at Ross, in horror. Ross smiles cheekily at his friend and reclines in anticipation of watching a spectacle which, he wagers, will be more entertaining than any sport the Romans could have conjured.

Before he has even fully reclined into a comfortable seating position, Ross can see Zacky waving frantically by the large bonfire in the distance. He shouts: "Ross, Demelza be lookin’ for you!"

And with that, the smile vanishes from his face. "Dear God," he mutters, scrambling to his feet, accepting certain death.

"Truly, I had less fear on the battlefields of Virginia," Dwight mumbles as they begin to stumble towards their wives.

"I too," agrees Ross. "Perhaps because it was a battle that could be won."

They shuffle up towards their wives, who stand side by side, their arms crossed, with expectant looks on their faces. Dwight and Ross discreetly try to shove the other to their death first, but Ross prevails with a hard thump on Dwight's back which nearly causes him to fall into Caroline.

He examines her and wishes she'd worn a thicker cloak as it is somewhat chilly out, which causes him to feel even more guilty. He bows his head. "Hi, my love," he whispers timidly.

"Hello, Dr. Enys," she replies coolly. Too coolly.

Well, it's a good thing she reminded me that I am indeed Dr. Enys as I rather think I will be needing a doctor soon, he thinks to himself. "We are sorry," Dwight begins diplomatically, addressing Demelza as well as his own wife. He tugs Captain Poldark to his side by the cuffs of his shirt. "We had not intended to come in the first place but Zacky convinced us otherwise."

"You couldn't have sent word of your whereabouts? We been worried sick!" Demelza pipes up indignantly.

"Perhaps it was wrong of us not to do so, my love, and we apologise," Ross chimes in calmly, "but, truth be told, we lost track of time on an account of having too much fun." He smiles gently and focuses his soft hazel-eyed gaze on the two women. You've got this, Poldark, he thinks smugly to himself.

"Yes, so we observe, Ross," Caroline says evenly before turning to her friend. "I observed Rosina Hoblyn a moment ago, did I not, Demelza?" Demelza nods. "So, Dr. Enys is catered for. Now all we need is to find Ross a suitable dance partner and then we may leave with a clear conscience!" she comments lightly, striking paralyzing fear into the hearts of both Dwight and Ross.

"Perhaps you could ride to Trenwith and fetch Elizabeth, Ross'd dearly love tha' I'd reckon," Demelza suggests to Caroline with a sickly sweet smile.

Ross and Dwight stare into the bonfire and collectively wonder if burning to death is really as painful as one might imagine.

Ross groans dramatically. "We've already apologised! What else would you have us do?"

Caroline eyes him with interest and exchanges a mirthful gaze with her friend. "Well," she begins with a smile, "first, you might fetch us some port lest we die of dehydration. Second, Dwight, I should rather like your coat. It is colder than it looks out here, you know," Dwight's coat is hastily and lovingly wrapped around his wife's shoulders without a single complaint, "and third, you might consider paying us some attention when you return with our drinks!"

Dwight and Ross stare at her with dumbfounded expressions.

"Well?" Demelza demands, biting back a laugh with some effort. "Make haste!" She shoos them away.

An ecstasy of fumbling ensues as the two men race to find some port before Caroline changes her mind and makes them sleep in the stables after all.

"Will you really make Ross sleep in the library?" Caroline asks Demelza with genuine curiosity.

She grins widely. "Yes. Though, truth be told, I forgave him the moment I knew he was safe. I just want the bed to myself tonight!"

Caroline laughs heartily. "Even if I were still cross with Dwight, I couldn't bear the thought of sleeping without him. I'm not sure I could, either, you see, he always plays with my hair and he-," Caroline stops abruptly, her face reddening as she feels she has overshared. She clears her throat and lifts her chin to regain some dignity, though a small smile remains on her face.

Demelza nudges Caroline as she spots their husbands juggling numerous cups of liquor, cradling them with such care one might think they were holding newborns. "Quick, stop smiling, they're coming back. I've a wish to see what else we can convince them to do to earn our forgiveness!"

[empressdrega27]

do the ship meme u reblogged a little bit ago with you and akh!!

Bless you Nonny~

How did they they meet?

I met Ahk when some people who aren’t very fond of me sent a very special book of mine to another dimension to spite me. I followed my book and wound up in a museum, and after retrieving said book, the museum came to life. Not wanting to be seen by the inhabitants (as i’m a dragon hybrid creature), I jumped to the second floor to escape. Once there, I heard a horrible scream, and I ran towards it to help. I found that the screaming was coming from a sarcophagus, and even though I was afraid of what might be inside, I opened it anyways. The person inside stepped out and revealed themselves to be a gorgeous man with an amazing voice! He asked to meet his rescuer, but I told him I didn’t want to scare him. He insisted, and so I stepped out of the shadows. He smiled at me, introduced himself, and told me that he wasn’t afraid. He then offered me a reward for saving him, and I told him that all I wanted was to be his friend, for finding someone who wasn’t afraid of me is rare. Ahk said, “My friendship is yours, you had it the moment you set me free”, and with that, he became my best friend, and later, so much more~

Who developed romantic feelings first?

Honestly, I’m not sure. I think we developed our feelings at roughly the same time, so it’s hard to say who actually fell first.

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

To be honest, the whole museum knew that we were hardcore crushing on each other, but I think Sacagawea and Attila are the two biggest shippers! Sac is a mother figure of sorts to Ahk, and she was always trying to gently nudge him into confessing to me, and Attila was super impressed with my strength and we became pretty good friends. He tried to tell me that it was obvious that Ahk felt the same way, but as I’m a dense and oblivious idiot when it comes to feelings, I continued to deny Attila’s advice. Jed and Octavius also were big shippers of us, but they weren’t as actively trying to get us together.

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

Our first kiss happened shortly after we confessed to each other, and it was a moment I’ll never forget. I was so nervous and worried that it was all just a dream and that I’d wake up anytime, alone. Ahk said he felt the same, and he was scared of waking up back in his sarcophagus. We laughed a bit and he scooted closer to me and said, “You are so beautiful, Elizabeth”. And he kissed me! After we pulled apart, I asked if we could kiss again, and we did~

Who confessed their feelings first?

We confessed in a weird way. The entire start of our relationship was weird tbh. I’d been falling into a depression relapse and my dumb brain had been telling me that Ahk would never feel the same way about me as I did for him. I tried to talk my feelings out with Attila and the Huns, but eventually, I broke down. I was crying and pacing and basically screaming at myself saying, “Look at me!! I’m a monster! I’m hideous! Ahkmenrah is perfect, how could he ever love something like me?!” At that, Ahk comes out of the shadows, “You’re wrong”, he says. I jump and try to rub the tears off of my face, and he comes closer. “You’re not hideous. You’re the most exquisite creature I’ve ever known, and you’re no monster. I’ve loved you from the moment you and I retrieved the tablet from Cecil.” I’m shocked, “You…. you love me? You think I’m beautiful?” He nods and leads me to a bench to sit down, where he continues to tell me all the times he tried to confess, only to lose his nerve. He was worried that he was too ordinary to be with me. In the end, we laughed about the whole thing, and afterwards, we had our first kiss~

What was their first official date?

Our first official date was on a Thursday, and it came about when Ahk read about modern dating and asked me what kind of dates I’d been on. I told him that I’d never actually been on a date, and that was when he stood up and said that he was going to take me on one then. We looked for a restaurant that was open, and all we found that was close by was an IHOP. Thus, we went to IHOP for our first date, and it was the best date I’ve ever been on!

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

We love them! So long as we enjoy the company of the people we’re hanging out with, we absolutely love double dates and group dates!

What do they do in their down time?

On our downtime, we usually either hang out around our house, or we visit our friends. When we stay home, we do any number of things, video games, reading in the library, swimming, and horseback riding are all things we do often~

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

Meeting Ahk’s parents was terrifying. And (just as I predicted) they hated me. They wanted Ahk to marry an Egyptian woman of royal blood, and they were convinced that I was using Ahk for some nefarious purpose. They finally figured out that I was genuinely devoted to him and now Ahk’s mother thinks of me as her daughter in law. His father on the other hand still doesn’t approve, but he keeps his mouth shut cuz he knows there’s nothing he can do about it. Ahk meeting my mom and my father figures went amazingly though! Everyone loves Ahk, and anyone with a brain can see that he adores me.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

Our first fight came about when Ahk was having really bad nightmares about something, and he wouldn’t tell me what the nightmares were about. That was fine with me, I know how hard it is to talk about really bad dreams, but he started getting really short tempered with me every time I asked what was wrong. Finally, the last straw came when I asked yet again if he was okay, and he lost it. He yelled that I had no idea what it was like to die and that I couldn’t possibly understand how he felt. I was shocked, and as I don’t cope well with people shouting at me, I started crying. I told him that I did know what it was like to die and that all I wanted to do was help him. His tone and demeanor were cold and he roughly explained that his past was far too painful to speak about and that I should leave because he needed to be alone for a while. I managed to choke out a “fine”, before making a brisk exit. It was then that he realized that I was crying and he seemed to realize how much of an ass he was being, cuz a few minutes later, he went looking for me. Unfortunately, I’d been called on a mission and I had to leave the museum, and I wasn’t able to return until 3 days later. Ahk believed I’d left for good and had become despondent. When he knew I hadn’t left for good, he was overjoyed and he apologized for acting the way he did, and I apologized for not only pushing him to talk about something that made him uncomfortable, but also for intentionally continuing with my mission to the point of nearly killing myself from exhaustion. Because that’s what I almost did. We got past it because we were both miserable to the point of wanting to die the entire time we were apart, and that’s a pretty clear indicator that you really, really love someone. Ahk understood that he needed to talk about what was bothering him and I understood that I needed to give him the time to actually be comfortable doing that.

Which one is more easily made jealous?

Me. Ahk is a very attractive man, it’s understandable that people would wanna flirt with him. It’s not the flirting that bothers me, it’s when the people completely disregard that Ahk isn’t single, or say things like “that’s your girlfriend? you can do way better, like me for example”. That’s not to say that Ahk doesn’t get jealous too, but it’s mostly me.

What is their favorite thing to get to eat?

Ahk loves fried stuff, candy, cake, and gelato! I have no clue why Ahk has a taste for fried chicken, funnel cake, and onion rings, but he loves that stuff and I have multiple people who will confirm that watching him demolish a bucket of fried chicken is a sight to behold. As for me, I love sushi, pasta, chocolate, and meat. I have a super fast metabolism, so I need to eat often to keep up my energy, and starchy carb filled, fatty, big meals are perfect for me~

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favorite cuddling position?

That would be Ahk! Not to say I’m not cuddly, but Ahk is always leaping into my arms or hugging me, so we’ll say he’s the really cuddly one. His favorite cuddling position is any position where he can lay his forehead against mine. He’s sappy like that (i am too lmao)

Are they hand holders?

We are indeed! It’s nice to be able to hold your lover’s hand as you’re walking or watching a movie or something.

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

Eheh, we waited about a month to take our relationship to the next level. It would’ve been less time, but I’m shy and I didn’t think Ahk would be interested in me like that (I was very wrong lmao). We finally got on with it when I got a sudden burst of brazen energy and took my shirt off in front of him.

Who tops?

Depends on who’s in the mood to top, could be either one. Or both in one night~

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

I’m gonna assume this is supposed to say fight, and the answer is the fight I mentioned above. It was the first real fight, and also the worst. Namely though, it was the last really big fight, and we’ve done our best to keep it that way. Neither of us wants to relive the horrible way we felt after being separated in that way and for that long.

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

Me and me again. Ahk helps with both, but I’m the one who does it primarily. Ahk is still learning the ins and outs of cooking with a stove, and he’d get way too distracted at the grocery store if he went by himself. I love him, bu his curiosity gets the best of him at times!

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

Ahk is more organized, while I’m more prone to untidiness. Ahk is more mathematically minded, so he’s naturally more organized and methodical. I on the other hand would much rather just wing it and have things be wherever. If i lose something, I can just summon it. Ahk ends up cleaning and tidying things for me anyways though (bless him).

Who proposes?

I think Ahk would beat me too it, but I would have an ornate dagger to propose to him with if I propose first! He’d probably propose to me with a necklace or bracelet rather than a ring.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

Separate, but methinks we’d end up getting bored and we’d sneak away to hang out together~

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

My maids of honor would be my friends Anisha and Nocta, along with my three best friends, Kid, Wally, and Simon. Ahk’s best man would most likely be Octavius or Nicky, with his groomsmen being Attila, Teddy, and Sacagawea.

Big Ceremony or Small?

We have lots of friends (and we rule a planet) so a big ceremony is a must!

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  

We do indeed have a honeymoon, and we go on a huge world tour, visiting every city we can!

Do they have children? How many?

We can’t have biological children together, but we will adopt! As for how many, I think we’ll adopt one or two and once they grow up, we’ll adopt one or two more, and we’ll keep doing that for as long as we live or until there are no abandoned children left in the world~