#his chart looks so jank

[corvlth]

Lil age chart for Ash for my own reference

Timeline lore under the cut for the like 1 guy that cares

Baby:

Faye brings them back from Hades as a baby again (no idea how that works just don't think about it)

Chirping and bird chick behavior

Gets found by the transylvanian govm and promptly sent to a lab to be studied and tested on

Design subject to change I just don't usually think about the raw chicken

Toddler:

Has metal tags in both ears denoting them as test subject 001 (though their DNA could never be studied or replicated so there were never more)

Harshly reprimanded for bird behavior

Prolly used for propaganda like "look we're working on a super soldier we're gonna have an army of them soon, fear us" (again, they just found them like this and they didn't do shit)

Easily scared and sickly all the time

Child:

The govmt finally gave up on trying to figure out a way to make more and started focusing into training Ash for combat since they couldn't even study their blood because it just melted through everything

Forced to practice gliding and flying, which considering that they had more down than feathers ended up in a lot of injuries

Malnutrition leads them to remain small

Befriends a romani kid who's somewhat good at tech and disliked but tolerated by the higherups for his talent. He makes Ash little mechanisms and doodads to make up for the inability to fly on their own

Withdrawn and quiet. Mostly only follows orders and doesn't ask questions (similar to Thor)

Has prosthetic legs that go over the bird legs made for them to look inconspicuous. Though that makes them limp around since they don't really fit. The arms can just morph idk

Teenager:

Juvenile plumage grown in (mostly), feathers uneven and patchy and unhealthy from malnutrition, but can fly on their own for the most part

Tail is the last one to lose the fuzz and still not really useable, so turning is like trying to swivel on an office chair without toughing the ground, it's jank

Gets trained on shooting targets from the sky but gets shot one day and has the realization that they were killing civilians the whole time, but they feel complacent and like they have no way out of this

Gets a mission on the western front one day and has a brief encounter with their future boss, Erika who was a new recruit at the time. They scratch her face up, while Erika catches them in an electric wire trap which leads Ash's bleeding to get burned into the skin of their throat

Their romani friend disappears one day and after months they assume they're dead and they run away through the forest through the Ukrainian border, ripping the metal tags out of their ears in case they're tracking them.

Gets caught and sent to the US as a POW and informant and gets put under the care of Erika, who's now a grand poobah over there and craves power. She very much does not recognize Ash as the one that scratched her, but wants their information so they can get revenge on the 'bird freak'

Ash changes name to Ash Miller from [REDACTED] with Miller coming from Morar that their romani friend had

Gets sent to different dimensions as a scout and never really brings back info (so i can put this beast in situations)

Adult:

asshole

Whenever they show up in armor and wings Erika assumes they're a different one from the one they encountered since their adult plumage is black now

needs a nap

that's when they meet Kratos and gang instead of going to where they were supposed to because they saw it in a dream idk

This is probably all over the place I'm not a writer word guy man

Also they have a tattoo on their hand like Atreus the whole time I just realized I forgot about it now pretend you see it

[gamey-geemer]

Alright, so everyone knows the canon "This is totally probably true" stuff about Bard/Prince, Rogue/Thief and Muse/Lord being about Destroying, Stealing, and Controlling respectively, giving us 4 pairs remaining.

My proposal for those, as if nobody ever did exactly this with probably way better arguments than I have for something else.

Page/Heir: They create their aspect. John creates the wind that protects him from Bec Noir/Grimbark Jade, he creates the wind that clears the glitches, and going off of the idea that Blood represents connections and Breath is its opposite representing the freedom from attachment (not an unjustified idea for the same mythological reasons that Tibetan Buddhism was the foundation for the Air Nomads in Avatar) then he's the one who creates the freedom from the whole system set up by Lord English. Meanwhile, that I personally am aware of, Jake only uses his Page powers thrice, twice when he created his impossible Hope Field that managed to overpower both Grimbark Jade and Caliborn during his Masterpiece, and once that I don't really know about where he creates Hope in John in the Candy Timeline. As for Passive/Active, Jake is a self serving, even if we'll meaning, person while John is kind of the opposite, who everything he does throughout the entire narrative is for someone else, which is basically the dividing line of the active/passive split. Oh yeah, Tavros as a Page in one of the like 2 times he's relevant to the plot is him creating the freedom from Vriska, Equius doesn't do shit, Mituna burned his brain out creating a better fate/doom for all of his friends, and Horuss doesn't do shit that we know of. Also, it's pretty jank to have a destroyer class and not a creator class

Sylph/Witch: We really don't see Kanaya or Feferi use their fucking abilities throughout the entire series. We do see Damara as the Handmaid subtly manipulate Alternian society using her time power. Aranea manipulates Terezi into receiving her light, and Jade ultimately (save for her Green Sun powers, which give her loads of stuff outside of her Classpect powers) manipulates the scale of things and can levitate them. So needless to say I think that these classes are all about manipulation, finesse over raw power. As for active/passive, I like the symmetry of Witch being active since it sets up the human session to have only one active player in the beta and only one passive in the alpha (whoops did I just spoil my thoughts on Seer and Knight). I paired them also because more than any others these are linked by being about magic.

Mage/Seer: This is a fucking easy, they know shit. Mage might seem a bit weird, but since it drives from the ancient Persian word Magus, which was the priestly scholarly caste, it is sufficiently tied to academic knowledge. I already spoiled what I think the passive and active form are, but Rose tends to view the hard work necessary to acquire knowledge as a formality that she can skip. You see it in her regards to college for psychoanalysis, her quest in Sburb, how she treats the Troll romance lessons from Kanaya in the first timeline. Meanwhile, Sollux (while his eyes two fold have been ripped Open and he can't look away from their doom) studies. He studies how to be a ~ath programmer, he studies how everyone is going to die. Also, the Sufferer just awakens his visions of Beforan society and how people could be connected as opposed to doing any studying and coming to the conclusion that it's bullshit like how Tyzias and Stelsa do. Also, all three instances of Terezi using her mind powers (killing John, Deciding if she should kill Vriska, and charting the Retcon) were all to determine what course of action should be taken for the benefit of everyone else regardless of how it effected her. She was also entirely about using her abilities to better society by cutting out the criminals. Meulin doesn't do shit

And the last pair

Maid/Knight: These are kind of difficult since when I first started conceptualizing this these were kind of just the two that were left over. But then I realized, both Knights and Maids are typically relatively minor nobles signed into a life of servitude to a higher noble, either as a Lady in waiting for Maids or as the most powerful soldier in the case of Knights. They both are pretty much on the same spectrum of being brute force, since like Grimbark Jade says, the role of the Knight is to Weaponize their aspect in fights, and who's the only person who directly no shits given just uses their aspect to beat a mother fucker up with infinite raw power? Aradia. Dave and Aradia also both serve, serving as the cornerstone "Main person making sure everyone survives this fucking nightmare" people in their sessions, with Aradia ultimately doing so because one she isn't a dick, and two at the end of this she will get to see this whole place come crashing down (even if she isn't aware of that in the moment or even aware she wants to see that) while Karkat pretty directly serves by organizing all of his friends into an effective battle group. He weaponizes his friendship and connections to other people to their own benefits. Latula I don't think we see anything regarding her weaponizing or serving her mind, or Porrim with her Space powers.

[callum-librrry]

JANK 2: Part 3

Chapter 3: What’s Love Without Fighting?

There was half an hour until landing. Crew members were bustling around excitedly, awaiting for the inevitable touchdown. A touchdown usually provided the crew with at least a few days of freedom away from their usual responsibilities. Those who originated from the planet they were visiting generally took that time off in order to spend time with their families. That would not be the case today. None of the crew originated from Solace, and perhaps only one or two were even from this system. Nevertheless, emotions ran high.

For all except a certain navigator.

Tom would usually be joining the crew in their hurried preparations, or be watching the arrival of the destination planet slowly loom into view, but today was different. Less than 30 minutes ago he was convinced that his life was about to end in the unrelenting void of space only to be let go with what compared to a slap on the wrists. The human was currently slumped on his bunk in his sleeping quarters doing his best to navigate through the minefield of questions in his mind. He was so caught up in processing the day’s events that he almost missed the quarter’s door sliding open with a hiss.

“Knock, knock,” a familiar voice whistled. Tom continued to stare ahead.

Hazai entered quietly. Her clawed feet scraped slightly against the smooth flooring. She could've been quieter if she wished, but she knew it was best if the human was aware of her. No need to send him into any more panics than what he had had that day.

The Braal walked to where Tom was sitting, and sat down in front of him. It wasn’t unlike the position they held when he was helping to preen her. Her well-kept feathers brushed over him slightly as she settled in front of him. She noticed that he relaxed a little when this happened.

“Do you want to talk about today?” she ventured after a moment of silence.

“There’s nothing to say,” Tom shifted to face away from Hazai. He fiddled with the cuffs of his sleeves absently.

“There’s plenty to say! You’ve probably made one of the most important discoveries of this council!” Excitement was evident in the way her feathers puffed up and the trill in her voice.

Tom stood up. He moved towards the entrance of his sleeping quarters.

“I destroyed a space shuttle and endangered the lives of everyone on this ship. What I should be is dead. What I did isn’t good, Hazai.”

“I know that the meeting with the captain must’ve been hard on you, but think about what this could mean for this system.”

“Look, just find out what that thing is and leave me alone.” Tom growled out. If Hazai said anything after this it was cut off by the clank of the closed door.

He stormed down corridors. He could feel the rush of blood in his ear and the prickle of tears in his eyes. The lights were too bright. His ears were ringing. And why was it so loud? His vision swam. He leaned against a wall to wait out the wave of nausea.

“Tom,” Konstance piped up, “you are experiencing an increased heart rate, and pre-emptive signs of fainting, would you like me to request a medic to see you?”

“No, thank you, Konstance,” Tom pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He really had to get himself under control.

“Might I suggest something else?”

Tom made a noise that could count as an affirmation. He was walking again now, he always calmed down easier when he was on his feet.

“It’s not like you’ll leave me alone until I say yes,” he muttered, “stupid programming.”

“May I remind you that you and Hazai–”

Hazai. The name sent an ache right to Tom’s heart. He really should’ve watched what he was saying to her.

“–programmed me together with care being one of my primary protocols?”

*** 

“Tom! Tom!” Hazai’s excited screech echoed through the confined space of the office as she ran in, “Guess what!”

Tom finished sending his charting draft to Clover, where it would be reviewed and, hopefully, sent to the higher navigators as well. He then turned to face the teal Braal as she nearly launched herself into his arms with her wings wrapping around him.

“Oof! Careful there,” Tom chuckled, his arms wrapping around Hazai on instinct. Hazai’s feathers wrapped around his entire body like a blanket. A warm fuzzy emotion formed at the pit of his stomach.

“Tom! Your AI package has arrived!” She pulled out of the hug just enough to rest their foreheads together. More wordless chirps escaped her.

“Oh, wow really?! I've been waiting so long!” He laughed as he swung Hazai gently from side to side. That was the pro’s of hollow bones, he supposes, less strain on the arms. It helped when she was probably half a foot shorter than him as well. “Do you want to program it with me?”

Hazai’s display feathers perked up, but quickly fell again.

“Tom, I’d love to but… I’ve programmed an AI before. I haven’t really even used one before. I’d be more of a hassle…”

“Absolutely not!” Tom exclaimed, “and anyway… I want you to help me...”

And how could Hazai refuse? Not when Tom looked at her as though she had hand-placed the constellations around them.

Once she had agreed, Tom started to open the package with Hazai quickly lending a scaled hand.

“Is this a human custom?” she asked.

“It can be, sometimes we give each other flowers too,” Tom chuckled. The AI beeped gently as it was booted up. “Here’s an idea, why don’t you come up with a name?”

“They’re your AI, it should be you who names them.”

“You sure?”

“Of course.”

Tom thought for a second.

“Well, Mum’s middle name was Konstance…”

“Tom, you’re so precious,” The fond look on Hazai’s face was unmistakable as she gazed at Tom.

“Hmm? Did you say something?”

“Humans… are so precious.” Hazai mumbled, clearer now, as she played with the pink plumage on her wings.

Tom’s face split into a large grin that spanned from ear to ear.

“Of course! Hazai, you’ve got to meet my family one day, they’ll love you I promise. My siblings will love to meet you! And you have to try my mum’s cooking, it’s the best…Sorry am I talking too much?”

Hazai immediately shook her head, “Of course not! In any case, I like listening to you talk. Hearing you talk…is nice, makes me feel peaceful��here,” Hazai pointed to her chest, where her heart was pounding away.

“That’s good, because being able to be with you makes me feel alive.” Tom smiled and turned back to the AI, unaware of the Braal’s ruffling feathers.

***

Tom really didn’t want to think about that right now. It only made his regret hurt more. He wiped the beginnings of tears from his eyes.

“Did Hazai put you up to this?”

“No.”

“So why?” Tom stopped his mindless pacing to put a stabilising hand on the wall, “I’ve snapped at Hazai before, you know that. I just– I… I need to know why I keep doing this! Why can’t I just control my emotions like a normal person?!”

This outburst drew the attention of several crewmates, most of whom quickly averted their gaze and muttered something about cramps and mood swings.

“Tom.”

“Konstance, please tell me how to fix this. I don’t want to ruin what we have!” Tom pleaded with the AI. He considered clasping his hands together or doing something else dramatic.

“Tom, you know I can’t do that. I can’t promise to solve all your problems but I can promise that you won’t have to face them alone.”

Damn you Konstance, Tom thought as he wiped the steadily flowing tears away from his eyes. Crying was always such a hassle.

“It’s OK Tom. You will be OK.”

In spite of himself, Tom gave a weak, wobbly smile. Fragile, like it could shatter any moment, “Thanks, Konstance. By the way, weren’t you going to recommend something?”

“It was my plan to suggest a visit to The Lair before our arrival on Solace.”

“You want me to visit Stabby?”

“Well, Stabby always seems to cheer you up, so I gathered it was the best course of action at the present moment. You have time. We’re on course to land in approximately 20 minutes.”

“Thank you Konstance.”

--

Previous: Chapter 2: Crime and Punishment

Next: Chapter 4: The Lair

[cowtale-utau]

Underlust Sans : Shine

October 13th, 1991 at 12:38pm Olympia, WA, USA

Sun : Libra, House 10

(Sun sign is self identity, House 10 is honor, tradition, and discipline)

Sociable, intellectual, and approachable. Non-committal. Often passive. Quite fickle and obsessive. Elegant, with a magnetic charisma. Pleasure-seeking, to the point of over-indulgent. Superficial and vain. Responsible and hard working.

Moon : Sagittarius, House 1

(Moon sign is inner self and emotions, House 1 is beginnings, leadership, first impressions)

Passionate, argumentative, and confrontational. Restless and curious. Impulsive, and struggles to settle down. Moody. Affectionate. Acts on instinct. Prefers to avoid routine, instead acting on whims. Very self-aware, but struggles to keep emotions in check. Holds a grudge. 

Mercury : Libra, House 10

(Mercury is information processing and communication, House 10 is honor, tradition, and discipline)

Elegant and charming. Impulsive. A social climber. Loves a challenge. Authoritative. Demeaning. Materialistic. Eloquent and expressive. Indecisive and stubborn. 

Venus : Virgo, House 8

(Venus is relationships, House 8 is birth, death, transformation and bonding)

Gregarious. Dramatic and superficial. Financially savvy. Insecure in relationships. A bit of a reserved loner at times. Tends to blow things out of proportion. Resistant to the illusions of romance. Witty. 

Mars : Libra, House 10

(Mars is will, drive, and sexual energy, House 10 is honor, tradition, and discipline)

A lover of beauty and aesthetics. Lazy. Manipulative and disingenuous. Talented. Needy and stubborn. Focused and meticulous. Hardened and sarcastic. 

Ascendant : Sagittarius, House 1

(Ascendant/Rising is social personality, House 1 is beginnings, leadership, first impressions)

Clever and self confident. Opinionated and unafraid to express said opinions. Constantly searching for something in life. Good sense of humor, even when struggling. Never satisfied with just seeing the surface level of things.

Descendant : Gemini, House 7

(Descendant is who you attract and are attracted to, House 7 is business and personal relations)

Seeks variety and intellectual stimulation. Attracts people who are curious, versatile, and witty. Craves someone to keep him grounded and realistic without smothering his sense of freedom. 

Jupiter : Virgo, House 8

(Jupiter is spiritual/philosophical views and fortune/luck, House 8 is birth, death, transformation and bonding)

Analytical and discerning. Obsessive and attentive to detail. Warm hearted but manipulative and overly emotional. Determined. Intelligent. 

Saturn : Aquarius, House 2

(Saturn is boundaries, integrity, and suffering, House 2 is physical senses, income, and self esteem)

Can overcomplicate things. Can come off aloof. Calculated. Pessimistic and materialistic. Razor sharp focus. 

Uranus : Capricorn, House 1

(Uranus is individuality, chaos, House 1 is beginnings, leadership, first impressions)

Pessimistic and aloof. Patient. Eccentric. Gossipy and easily bored. Determined and unrestrained. Ambitious. Chaotic. Impulsive and inconsistent. 

Neptune : Capricorn, House 1

(Neptune is dream, belief, and imagination, House 1 is beginnings, leadership, first impressions)

Subtle, suspicious, and negative. Very aware. Stubborn and selfish. Resourceful. Materialistic. A good natured realist. Adaptable. 

Pluto : Scorpio, House 11

(Pluto is transformation, power, and sexuality, House 11 is social connection/causes surprises and the future)

Dramatic, manipulative, and deceitful. Loyal. Opportunistic. Stubborn and dismissive. Loner. Contradictory. Free spirited and passionate. 

Chiron : Leo, House 8

(Chiron is deep spiritual wounds, House 8 is birth, death, transformation and bonding)

A deep fear of emotional intimacy. A fear of rejection and feelings of inadequacy. Hot tempered and prone to jealousy.  

Part of Fortune :  Aquarius, House 2

(Part of Fortune is beneficial development, House 2 is physical senses, income, and self esteem)

Has a deep desire for freedom and to not be constrained. Concerned with financial security. Inventive and original. Detached. 

Midheaven : Libra, House 10

(Midheaven is highest aspirations and life direction, House 10 is honor, tradition, and discipline)

Presents an intelligent, charming, and beautiful image. Elegant and logical but not afraid to lash out or speak up.

Imum Coeli : Aries, House 4

(Imum Coeli is roots and foundations, House 4 is home, security, and foundations)

Dominate and prone to bouts of anger. Sharp, biting humor. Stubborn and independent. 

Lunar Phase : Waxing Crescent 

(Lunar phases represent wisdom, intuiting, death and reincarnation)

Outgoing and innovative with a strong creativity. A quick learner and highly aware of everything around him. Adventurous and curious, but struggles to leave his comfort zone.

You can find the rest of Shine’s chart here.

[kaijuprotocol]

blasts you with my autism beam. anyone want to hear my ninjago rhythm game headcanons

split into sections for each character so this isn't just one big paragraph :)

nya

i think after jay introduced her nya started really liking dance games!

her favourite is paraparaparadise! she originally picked it up because the movements looked pretty simple but ends up getting super into it, and has a good few songs' worth of choreography memorised.

she doesn't really like the arcade atmosphere and prefers to play console ports; though with how jank the motion sensors tend to be for these things she tends to lose her temper at the equipment from time to time. she'll go to the arcade if someone else (usually cole) invites her, but never alone.

she has recruited lloyd to be her partner for doubles choreography in just dance :)

lloyd

lloyd would play phone games. you guys remember tap tap revenge? i think he would play tap tap revenge.

i think he'd actually be pretty damn good at it. he racks up hours pretty quickly; but he's not super hardcore about it or anything, he just likes having something to do with his hands. probably doesn't pay full attention most of the time and is more the type to zone out for the entire track and still somehow end up with a PFC.

memorises 4k charts (not on purpose, just good memory) and will tap them out on any nearby surface when he is bored or distracted

cole

biggest rhythm game fan of the group by far.

shreds at gitadora. (they added weekend whip to exchain)

got kicked out of an arcade once because he was playing taiko and got too into it playing heat haze shadow 2 oni and busted a hole directly into the center of the player 1 drum

jay

likes to collect decommissioned arcade cabs and/or defunct game controllers just in order to take them apart and find out how they work; i don't think he's a particularly big otoge fan per se, but i think a decently sized portion of his collection would be dedicated to the genre just because of how unique a lot of the peripherals and cabinets can be.

^he would be the kind of person to buy a decomissioned muséca cab so he could dismantle it for parts to repair his bishibashi machine

his enjoyment of the genre is pretty much limited to the hardware, he doesn't really find the technical aspect of the gameplay particularly fun. his enjoyment of [legally distinct dance game] is due to a) the unusually high level of physical challenge and b) the fact that you get a lot of attention from onlookers if you do well. (mostly the second thing.)

and last but not least. superstar rockin' jay's guitar is a guitarfreaks psx peripheral with a custom paintjob. he isn't a particularly big fan of the series or anything, he just saw the controller in a second hand store one day and thought the shape was cool. have you seen what this thing looks like? hold on let me find a picture

i love it it's like it started unloading halfway down

[eurosong]

Undo my ESC - semi-final 2

Hey there, folks. Last week, I published the first part of “Undo my ESC”, a look at semi-final 1 where I took the entrants and made óne change, either minor or drastic, to make the competition better in my eyes. I didn’t need to take out my time-travelling tippex too much for the generally stellar first semi-final, but semi-final 2 is a different kettle of fish altogether. There are a few songs I don’t want to change at all but must, but a lot of songs could do with changing. As always, this is just mý take on things and written light-heartedly. (Some people always unfollow the few times I publish entries relating to my opinion - to those folks, I say, skip the read.)

Norway – We could scarcely get off to a worse start for my tastes, as this unwelcome return is a composite of so many elements that make me cringe – the music, which sounds like a jingle for a new version of Supermarket Sweep; the painfully ironic title “That’s how you write a song”; the lyrics which are nigh beyond parody for their triteness; the cheesier-than-feta visuals and choreögraphy. Nothing really lit up my world in this year’s MGP, but I would have preferred the runner-up, the new Wallmann song or even (for the sake of a guaranteed belly laugh in the final) Scandilove over this abomination.

Romania – From a song being hotly tipped to one, in the death spot, which many people assume will lead to the end of Romania’s qualification streak. Personally, I increasingly enjoy this unloved song quite a lot. It has a personal poignancy and resonance with me, reminding me of conversations with friends lost to suicide or prolonged self-destruction, trying to reach out and help them see the beautiful things in this world. There’s not much I’d change – but since Voltaj were able to do well with a bilingual version, inserting some Romanian would be my little alteration.

Serbia – I was so excited to see the return of Beovizija, and it didn’t disappoint, with a very varied show including wild dances, poignant ballads and the funkiest jazz-rap I’ve heard since Digable Planets, and áll in Serbian. As is often my jinx, most of my support went to the eventual runner up, Pesma za tebe, a gorgeous bit of Balkan blues which I prefer a lot more than the Zajdi zajdi ripoff colliding with a dance mix that ended up besting it. I would send the flawless Saška Janks instead.

San Marino – Trust San Marino to veer into the world of national finals for a bit of credibility, only to make the selection process as risible as possible. I see some value in Who we are, because the combination of its rip-off of Heroes’ chorus, the robots, the dramatic with a capital D hand gestures and the rap make me laugh hysterically. But there were far better songs – Out of the twilight being very reasonably the fans’ favourite, but a bit by the numbers for me. I actually would give the nod to IROL. People say that San Marino doesn’t have enough performers to be competitive but 8 Sammarinese artists signed up to 1in360 and they eliminated all but him. Rap turns off a lot of Eurofans almost automatically, but it would have been heart-warming for a local artist to win such a mercenary NF system.

Denmark – I suppose, if for nothing else, Denmark deserve some props for consistency. How can a country that brought us such mould-busting entries as Disco-Tango, Fra Mols til Skagen and Dansevise be so consistently bland for several years? I don’t dislike Higher Ground, but it feels like an empty attempt to create a tune for a soundtrack for a hokey straight-to-video movie. I’d improve it by translating it into Old Norse.

Russia – On the one hand, I’m glad Russia stuck to their promise to Julia to bring her back for 2018. On the other hand, I disliked Flame is burning, and hate I won’t break even more (except for the hilarious “becoming a mountain” scene at the end of the music video) and so, if I had the liberty, would go back to 2017 and avoid the provocative gambit that led to her having been selected. If not, I would simply give her a song to sing in Russian as she seems rather more confident with her mother tongue.

Moldova – My word, talk about picking one of the worst songs out of a generally terrible selection. Moldova’s song this year is an infernal throwback to the darkest days of the contest. Its dirty trumpet riff pulsates like a bad headache as the most awkward ménage-à-trois partners this side of the Volga plough their way through some bizarre lyrics. I don’t want to subject myself to listening to the Melodie pentru Europa finalists again, but I’m sure I remember there being something better…

Netherlands – It says something about both this year and the artistry of Waylon that even one of my lesser favoured tracks amongst those he presented for consideration is amongst my top anyway. I’ve come to love Outlaw in ‘em as one of the few upbeat tracks that make me want to dance rather than make me deeply irritated, and I love the lyrical message of everyone finding the strength to be their own person and stand up for themselves. However, I lóve the melancholy and yet equally rousing Thanks but no thanks even more and would have picked it for ESC.

Australia – Four years after their supposedly one-off participation in the contest, and a year after they were sent into the final by the juries despite rightfully getting slated by the public vote, Australia are still here, somehow. There was word of them organising a national final, which could indeed have been an interesting show. Instead, they’ve gone with something so bland that it is nigh offensive, crowned by lyrics that are merely a string of platitudes. When Australia have such a rich musical scene, it’s a crying shame to send something so generic.

Georgia – I’m delighted that Georgia is sending its first song fully in their language, thus overshadowing the couple of lines in Georgian at the start of the hideous I’m a joker several years ago. It’s very authentic and showcases both beautiful vocals and great musicianship. My one worry is that it may seem a bit one-note to some people and fail to qualify – I might try to make a bit more contrast between the verses and chorus.

Poland – A cut-price Alexander Wallman with his cringey uncle behind him throwing shapes whilst pretending to mix, to the musical backdrop that sounds like a knockout coke advert jingle. Not really a recipe for success in my eyes, but somehow this won the Polish national contest. This is background music at best, like much of the songs in Krajowe Eliminacje this year. The only one that didn’t just bleed into those surrounding it for me was Ifi Ude’s Love is stronger; not typically my cup of tea, but a very striking composition and, in my eyes, the most likely of the entire selection to stand out.

Malta – Whilst Denmark provide a heady dose of beigeness from the north, Malta compete with them in the generic national selections stakes from the south. And how can a country where English is spoken natively alongside Maltese consistently come to the contest with criminally, almost laughably bad lyrics, like that of the winner, Taboo? I’d pick Song for dad over it – at least its lyrics were simple but earnest.

Hungary – I’ve come to really enjoy Viszlát nyár, the raw and emotional lyrics and performance and the big personalities of the lads in AWS, especially Aron and Soma trolling Wiwibloggs a few days ago! I do think there were potentially better picks, though – notably Azt mondtad and, for something also on the heavier side, Nem szól harang.

Latvia – This is a hard one. I really do love the sultry yet pensive Funny Girl and can see why Latvia were wowed by Laura’s convincing performance. It is one of my favourites this year – but I must admit to loving Madara’s Esamība even more for its delightfully ethereal feeling that never fails to send shivers down my spine.

Sweden – It’s long become a tradition for me to see a song or songs in Melodifestivalen that I wóúld have considered in my top 10 had it won, but instead it loses to something completely odious for me. Even in this pretty poor year, there were a few songs I think were a lot more interesting, like Dotter’s “Cry”, the woefully undervalued veteran Kikki’s “Osby Tennessee”, but I think my change would be for the runner up to take the winner’s place. Felix Sandman’s poignant Every single day has outperformed the ungodly Bieber-Timberlake hybrid that spawned Dance you off in the Swedish music charts, and I truly do thing it was a case of the better song being bested by the flashier show.

Montenegro – Inje was by far the best of Crna Gora’s short but sweet national selection, and I am over the moon that the country is returning to what has best served it at Eurovision and bringing back the Balkan ballad style that recent years have been sadly bereft of. There is really little I would change, but I’d want to ensure an eye-catching presentation that brings the story of the song to life as well as the music video did.

Slovenia – My initial reaction to Slovenia’s song was “hvala ne” (no thanks.) I found it really obnoxious on first (and second, third, etc) listen – I am really no fan of songs that have no real chorus. Over time, I’ve come to enjoy it as something rather different to the field, but I still would send the stirring V nebo instead.

Ukraine – I know Mélovin has many fans, but his song does little for me. It’s a low-key attempt at an anthemic song that doesn’t really get off the ground for me. That is not helped by the fact that you can (and we have!) asked a few dozen people to listen to it and because of his alien pronunciation, get a few dozen different “interpretations” of the original Mélovinese lyrics. The funky, soulful, playful, melancholy and yet still upbeat Lelja getting pipped to the selection was one of the biggest robberies of the entire year for me!

And the automatic qualifiers in this round:

France – I really do like “Mercy”. Great storytelling, musically very well produced and “Madame” has a lovely voice. The quality of France’s return to national finals, though, was such that it was not my favourite. I think the even more French flavoured efforts that were the heartbreaking, spellbinding, classic Tu me manques and Lisboa, Jerusalem were even better picks. I also loved the almost psychedelic feel of Ciao. Keep this standard up next year, mes amis !

Germany – Well done to Germany for jettisoning the absolutely torturous national final procedure they had last year, where they eliminated two people off the basis off completely unrelated covers and then we heard the same two songs performed over and over again for the rest of the night by 3 people. However, there was not a great leap in terms of quality to match. I preferred “You and I”, but Michael Schulte’s was probably the best song on the night. I fear could be easily forgettable amongst 25 other songs. My change would be to try to make the choruses a little more dynamic.

Italy – Italy hardly ever put a foot out of step at this contest, and that’s in part thanks to the grand tradition that is San Remo, which has even more prestige than ESC itself in the country. There were dozens of great songs in San Remo, but Non mi avete fatto niente, an effecting song with a very strong message, was one of the best for me. My only worry is that the frenetic, breathless pace seems to alienate some listeners – if I had to make a change (as is the premise with this conceit), I may cut one or two repetitions of the chorus and slow down the thunderous, impactful but perhaps sometimes alienating delivery of words just a tad. So those were my thoughts on how I’d change this year’s ESC if I had to make one change. I’m intrigued at what other folks would come up with in this scenario, too!

[tookalittlejourneytotheunknown]

So I played some Andromeda and here are some stray thoughts on what I’ve played so far, which keep in mind, wasn’t a lot.

Pros:

-really gorgeous environmental design & overall art direction

-movement is funner than its ever been in a BioWare game, the jet pack thing that lets you jump higher, hover for a bit, or slide around on the ground, is just really fucking cool. And god, where was that sprint button in Inquisition

-I dig Scott Ryder’s voice actor so far. Seems like he might be one of the more solid MC voices in a BioWare game, which isn’t saying a ton but yeah, I like him

-the scanner is neat and helps to immerse in the role of someone charting unknown worlds. Reminded me of No Man’s Sky a bit

-characters all seem fairly likeable and decently acted (rip in advance dad)

-character animations haven’t been as noticeably bad as I thought they’d be. It’s mostly typical BioWare looking stuff, which is a problem in and of itself, but not as bad as I was worried it might be.

Cons:

-Liam Kosta is still tragically heterosexual

-character creator blows. And why can I not make some tweaks to default. I know they scanned that one in but like…did they need to? It doesn’t make a huge difference quality wise but his face is still better than any of the customizable defaults to me and I’d just like to make a few small changes??

-But outside of that it’s still just bad. There’s more than twice as many options for scars as there are for hair. No eyes/mouth/nose shapes to sift through. It’s very, very basic. I know it was in the original trilogy too, but it’s a weird step down in that category after Inquisition.

-still definitely some noticeable jank in the character animations, even if it wasn’t AS bad as expected, there are still times where it’s prettyyyy bad, and I kinda doubt they’ll be fixed.

Aside from those kinda minor things (cept Liam, y'all know I don't think that's minor), seems much better than expected tbh! Looking forward to playing more tomorrow after work!

[rhythmbastard]

STATUS QUO STATE OF THE BASTARD 2017

1. A lot of was lost in 2016. I'm 29 now, starting to feel that crunch. However, one big thing I developed this past year is a new attitude. Bowie, Prince, Carrie Fisher, and so many other brilliant artist and creatives were lost, and we're not getting anything new from them. Still, the rest of the world moves on, it has to. And that's when I developed this mantra: "Now's my turn" My turn to make great art that resonates throughout. My turn to be an advocate. My turn to make a mark. 2. Let's stop being downer and get to the music shall we? MOST RECENT SONG: "EPIC POKEMON COVER!!"

Fuck you, I liked mashing up Pokemon and The Dead Kennedys FAVORITE SONG I MADE: "Anguished Unmaking"

This one is because I just love how different it is from anything else I've done. The songs for the "Battle For Zendikar" block were good, but were still within my wheelhouse. The "Shadows Over Innistrad" block, as well as the upcoming "Amonkhet" block are good reasons to venture out of the punk genre.

28 YEAR OLD RESOLUTIONS? DID MAKE THEM? -A music video. 

YES. SORT OF. See above. I plan on doing more, or at least one more with a better budget.

-More presence and making myself more accessible.. I've always done this stuff for fun, and for the experience of meeting new people and just having that "ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!" feeling of living in the city. The post I made about cons was just about expanding my horizons. I'm trying to reach out, 'cause if you like my music, or my writing, or my podcasting, then I like you :D

SURE? I GUESS?

-Stream more, be it gaming or music making. I love games, and I want to have you all along for the ride. Also biweekly Twitch concerts would keep me in practice for bigger shows. YES, I DID STREAM MORE. I did an entire LP of new Magic expansions and Dishonored. So I plan on doing more into this new year.

29 YEAR OLD RESOLUTIONS

-More collabs. I participated in the Nerdcore VPC this year, that was a lot of fun. More opportunities to come. hopefully!

-Album #3. Not quite finish it, but have an idea of where it's going. 

-A proper music video. With like a crew and shit.

-Another game. Maybe it's part of a bigger project, maybe it's another game jam. WHO KNOWS? -500+ Fans on Facebook.  

PODCAST STUFF!

ECHO CHAMBER- Music, video games, and More?

I'D RATHER NOT- Bad decisions and how we make them!

OK NOW GO OUTSIDE THE BOX-

GAME OF THE YEAR- Hitman 

I'll talk about it more on the future Echo Chamber, but Hitman is the kind of game where it's big enough that I'm always finding out new stuff, but small enough that I can get really good at certain maps.

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE AWARD?- Hearthstone

It's like Magic where I can turn in my jank immediately and play it in my underwear.

MOVIE I WAS WATCHING WITH GREAT TREPIDATION- Deadpool Good News: I enjoyed the movie, and it's a testament to low budget not getting in the way of making the movie you want to make. Bad News: The script I read 5 years a go spoiled a lot of it.

TOP 40 SONG I HATED THE LEAST- "Cake By The Ocean" by DNCEThis was the closest thing to a "rock" song on the top 40 charts. It's solid, groovy, but it only wins this category because Blink 182's "Bored To Death" and Green Day's "Bang Bang", while great to listen to, didn't get a lot of play on pop radio.

  TREND I LIKED THE MOST- Nerdcore Musicians Putting Out Games

Let's take a look, shall we? Capcom vs. Harambe- Richie Branson certainly did this...

MC Lars The Game- A fun rhythm action game that takes a quick trip through some of his best/most popular songs (excluding Lars Attacks!) Tales Of The Elements- With Mega Ran, K-Murdoch and Last Benevolence, this is an action RPG that takes cues from games like FF6 and Chrono Trigger. TREND I LIKED THE LEAST- People Whose Asses Got Beat In Previous Wars Thinking They Got A Chance Now That Trump Was Elected President

ANNUAL STUPID REMINDER THAT I SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH MC BAT COMMANDER

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