#his character was v v good in that movie besides the factor of him leaving David y o o o

[h0lygh0stlings]

Y'all I saw the tim burton Dark Shadows for the first time yesturday, since it came out in 2012 in theaters and I felt like I had a s t r o k e

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Put Me In a Movie

Keanu Reeves x Reader (A/n- Did I really just get the name of my own fic wrong? If you saw it, for the sake of us both, pretend you didn’t)

Summary Prologue  1   2   3  4  

Chapter 5- Skewed Clarity

That night, Y/n had gone back to her room, dried off and plopped back into bed, more awake and before and irritatingly sexually frustrated. She’d tried dealing with the situation herself, but her efforts were fruitless and unsatisfying; her fingers were small in comparison to Keanu and all in all, she just couldn’t sink into the moment. For the briefest second, as Y/n had laid a top her unmade bed, the softness of the fluffy duvet caressing her skin, she had considered shrugging on her robe and trekking to Keanu’s room, uncaring if he was awake or not and demanding that he’d finish what he started, but Y/n had quickly deduced that she’d need a few drinks well to muster up that kind of courage. Besides, she wasn’t desperate. It was just a matter of politeness really, how dare he leave her like that, with silky moisture between her thighs and an ache to be touched?

After several failed efforts, or perhaps it was just one long one, Y/n had decided that she was through for the night, opting to quickly wash up, get back into her pajamas and crawl back into bed. It had taken almost two hours after that for her eyes to even start drooping and when Y/n finally fell into a fragile slumber, it was past five am.

There wasn’t enough caffeine in the world to rectify the heaviness in Y/n’s eyes and as hard as she tried to stifle them, a yawn would escape her lips every few minutes or so. Figures that the night that she’d had the worst sleep of her life would lead to the first time they’d be filming at seven am. 

Really, she blamed Keanu. Who, coincidentally looked far more refreshed than she felt. Maybe it was irrational, but Y/n couldn’t help but be a little annoyed with him. First, he’d been on her mind so much that she couldn’t fall asleep, then he’d interrupted her alone time and gotten her worked up, just so she couldn’t fall asleep again. 

Ugh.

Walking from her trailer, already in costume with her hair and make up done, Y/n tried to chug yet another cup of scalding hot, black coffee before she got to set. It burnt her tongue and the bitter taste was the reason she usually added milk and sugar, but still, she needed to be as energetic as possible, and if her sixth cup of coffee for the morning was what it took, then so be it.  

They were shooting in the large parking lot that morning, which meant that Y/n would have to pass through the studio, to get to the open area at the front, where everything was probably already set up. It was the kind of walk that she ordinarily took with Keanu, but alas, Y/n had been avoiding him since their initial though very brief run in at hair and make-up. She had been heading in just as he was opening the door to leave. Small talk had been a must, though neither of them brought up their earlier encounter, what was there to say anyway? Y/n didn’t know if it had been a joke, if Keanu had actually intended to make her feel ‘some kind of way’, or if all in all, she was reading too much into it. It was awkward and Y/n hated awkward, she hated not knowing and she desperately wished that things with Keanu weren’t so confusing. 

The studio was quieter than it had been most days, though, that should have been expected considering they were meant to spend the next eight hours or so working outside. Jackson had predicted that in one long take, they could cover the entire scene in just about three hours, but that wasn’t accounting for the human factors; mishaps and bloopers. 

By the time Y/n was spilling out into the large, outdoor set up, the morning sun was stinging her eyes again and there was an energetic buzz in the air that had been absent from inside. Y/n began wondering if she’d be able to keep up with the way she was feeling. Why hadn’t she just downed some cough syrup and called it a night?

“Hey,” an unsteady baritone broke Y/n’s thoughts and she immediately clutched her chest, jumping in surprise when he gently touched the center of her back.

“Fuck,” the fright was enough to wake her up a bit, though it didn’t last long. Keanu came to stand next to her, closer than he did before things got complicated and Y/n had a feeling that it was intentional. She could smell the coolness of his cologne, mixing with the enthralling aromas of ground roast and cigarette. Y/n hated when he stood that close, it always got her flustered. 

Though, she didn’t want him to move either 

“You scared the shit outta me,” she sighed, letting her hand return to her side. Her gaze once again to the ongoings before them, not wanting to lock with his chocolate orbs for too long.  Why couldn’t she ever successfully avoid him? 

Keanu chuckled beside her, the throaty sound like water over rocks; smooth and soothing, “Sorry.” He seemed totally unaffected by their run in from the night before but Y/n couldn’t tell if he was faking it or if by some hellish miracle, his short term memory had been erased. It was bad enough that it had cost her a few hours of sleep, she couldn't be the only one with that memory. “I hate to be that person, but you look terrible. Everything okay?”

Scoffing, Y/n folded her arms and rolled her eyes. As if he didn’t know! “I’m fine,” she mumbled, slightly begrudged. With the toe of her block heeled ankle boot, Y/n kicked a rogue pebble, watching as it skipped out of her foot’s reach. The shoe scraped noisily as she dragged her foot back childishly, “Is that what you came over here to tell me?”

Unstirred by her mood, Keanu chortled again, “Somebody’s cranky.” Again, Y/n rolled her eyes, preferring to wallow in her sour, awkwardness instead of asking him anything about the previous night. When Y/n didn’t respond, his grin softened and his words were twisted by flirty undertones, “This is about last night, isn’t it? Don’t tell me a few little words made you all pissy,” Keanu’s breath was hot on her ear as he leaned in and Y/n hoped the set photographer wasn’t nearby to capture the redness painting her cheeks.

Gritting her teeth, she finally turned to face him, her hair whipping his shoulder as she did, “How dare you? First its oh Y/n this was a mistake, then you’re all up in my face, with your stupid smile and your good looks, telling me that you can fuck me real good and then you’re walking away. And-” the ‘v’ in Y/n’s forehead became more pronounced and her mild irritation turned into flustered anger, “Are you laughing at me?”

Tilting his head to the side, “My good looks?” He quoted, taunting her and Y/n groaned, frustrated. Still though, Keanu didn’t look like he had any intention of ceasing his quiet chuckles. Slipping his hands into the pockets of his character’s battered jeans, Keanu dragged his lower lip through his teeth, “I’m sorry,” he looked down for a minute, and Y/n could feel his eyes travel appreciatively up her body as he raised his head again, “You’re just….really fucking cute when you’re mad.”

“See?” Y/n huffed pointedly. It was so hard to tell what they were doing, what he was doing. Was he actually flirting, or was he just plain out fucking with her? “This is too confusing Keanu. You’re just…..”

It didn’t take too long after that for Keanu to lapse into his usual seriousness, hissing in hopes that no one would hear, “You think you’re not confusing too? One minute you acting like you regret what we did and avoiding me like the fucking plague the next we’re in a pool together and you’re basically asking for it.”  

“Do not put this on me,” her finger jabbed into his chest and Keanu caught her wrist, his fingers easily circling it with room to spare, “This is not my fault.”

“I never said it was anybody’s fault,” Keanu countered, still holding onto her hand. It had been so long since he’d last touched her, in any way, he’d missed the softness of her skin and Y/n his calloused touch, “I’m just saying, maybe neither of us are as blameless as we want to be.”

His admission left Y/n scrambling for words. The truth was that Keanu was right, they were both active participants, worse yet, Y/n would be lying if she said she wanted to stop. The thoughts of Keanu were consuming, her quelled longing for him was hard to deny even to herself. Swallowing thickly, Y/n watched as Keanu’s grip slipped from her wrist to maintain a gentle hold on her fingers. They had forgotten their surroundings a while ago, not noticing if anyone was looking at them. “This is…..” Y/n didn’t know what it was, and she couldn’t really think of it while he was standing that close.

Keanu bent his head, a contagious smile curving his lips and a mischievous glint in his eyes, “I-”

“Places everyone!” Jackson snapped and they sprang apart. Keanu passed one had over his hair, the other going to his back pocket, while Y/n, who didn’t really know what to do with her hands, immediately grabbed the hem of her leather jacket, sucking in a breath.

Stuttering, Y/n’s lips quivered, about to speak when, in a frenzy a hair and make-up team surrounded her and Keanu, picking and pulling at their outfits, freshening their make-up and giving them one last look over before the scene. There was a faceless hand in her hair, fiddling with her extensions while someone else passed a powder brush on her cheek, “Can we….?”

Meanwhile, there was a woman freshening a cut on Keanu’s jaw while two others gave his outfit gentle tugs to ensure perfect placement, “Yeah,” he assured her hurriedly, hoping that the aids wouldn’t suspect anything. 

By the end of the day, all Y/n wanted to do was face flop into her bed, and she was pretty sure that she could sleep then. Her caffeine high had kicked in right in the thick of their first scene of the day; where her and Keanu’s characters were supposed to be ‘ambushed’ by operatives and subsequently engaged in a  shootout, where she’d acquire ‘minor wounds’. It had taken three takes to get the end right, but just as midday approached they did. Afterwards, she had taken her lunch break while Keanu shot a brief solo scene and then vise versa.

They weren’t done for the day until the sun was resigning past the distant horizon and nothing further could be done outside. Thank heavens they weren’t needed on set again until past lunch the next day. 

As she packed some things into her handbag, Y/n could feel the wear of her muscles with each movement and the heaviness of her eyes every time she blinked. The crash after the caffeine had worn off had hit her hard and if there were something bigger than a small sofa in her trailer, she might have showered and slept right there. 

With a huff, Y/n zipped the bag and reached for her coat draped over a throw pillow, when someone knocked on the metal front door calling her attention, “Y/n?”

Keanu.

Even if they’d spent most of the day together, they hadn’t gotten back to their earlier conversation, though Y/n didn’t know what she’d say if they had. Still, she answered the door, hoping he’d be braver than she was.

Keanu had absolutely no idea what he was going to say. But nonetheless, his anxious feet had led him to Y/n’s trailer, and possibly, by his fist’s own admission, he hit the door three times. It was hardly his best idea; to show up at her trailer, without a clue on what he was about to say all while knowing that Y/n must have been dog tired. Though, he was already there, so the least he could do was rack his brain for a quick remedy.

When she pulled the door open, standing before the entrance looking a bit worse than she had that morning, Keanu frowned, that was definitely the worst timing in the history of things being timed. “Hey,” he waved briefly, only coming up the two metal steps when she waved him inside. Upon seeing her bag, packed on the counter of the small kitchenette, Keanu scrubbed on hand over his groomed beard, stuffing the other into his pocket, “Is this a bad time?” Maybe if she said yes then he could return to his uncomfortable state of not knowing, trying to figure things out until he, well, knew. 

But alas, there was nothing as unforgiving and he internally cursed when she quickly quipped back, “No, I don’t have anywhere to be.” With a tired huff, Y/n dropped onto the small, rich brown, leather sofa, patting the spot next to her, “What’s up?”

“I……” What was up? Quickly, he scanned his brain for anything useful, though eventually came up short and let his mouth go on autopilot, “I wanted to talk about this morning, about us.”

Keanu couldn’t help but smile lightly when she absently scrunched her nose, testing the word on her tongue as if it were foreign, “Us?” Sighing, Y/n shifted in the sofa, bracing an elbow on the back cushion and pulling one leg under herself, “Is there an us?”

“I don’t know,” he cleared his throat, speaking as the ideas came, with no room for thinking them over or polishing them up, “But I think at this point it's more there than isn’t, if you know what I mean.”

It took a minute, and Y/n seemed to be mulling on it, but eventually, she gestured her agreement, moistening her succulent pink lips before, “Yeah, yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Right,” Keanu stalled. He wasn’t good at that, letting people in and letting himself feel. It wasn’t like he couldn’t, he could, he did. Even if it was all a jumbled mess, he did feel something, or rather several things for Y/n. Things he couldn’t quite decipher, but also things he wasn’t ready to lose. But it didn’t make sense and Keanu didn’t know what to do with those things. Besides, his relationship track record had never been on for the ages, he was always giving too much or too little, typically the former; a commitment-phobe at heart. 

Y/n looked at him expectantly and Keanu felt terrible for making her wait, but he really didn’t have a clue on what he should say next. How could you explain what you felt if you didn’t understand it?

Maybe he didn’t need words.  

Swallowing thickly, Keanu reached out, letting his thumb caress Y/n’s jaw, awed at how she leaned into his touch. 

Maybe it wasn’t just a sex thing. Maybe it was something more, merely covered up by something primal, because still there with Keanu, Y/n didn’t feel they way she had in the pool, or that day after their sex scene. Instead, she felt a fullness in her chest, it was warm, and she was very surprised that a feeling like that could be physical. Her heart didn’t beat a mile a minute, her palms weren’t sweaty and she wasn’t anxious about his next move. For the first time in two weeks, she knew exactly what to expect from Keanu.

It didn’t feel much bigger than their friendship though, it was merely an extension. It was the tranquility he brought, paired with the warmth of his touch. The thought was barely there and fleeting, but somewhere in the back of Y/n’s mind registered that Keanu’s was completely unlike Luke’s touch; a couple fingers on her cheek able to do more for her than arms around her waist. 

Intently, Y/n watched as Keanu leaned forward, licking his lips just before he laid them on hers. Coffee, cigarettes and something sweet. The taste was one she quickly committed to memory. Slowly, Y/n tilted her head, allowing him better access, letting her eyes slip closed. One hand moved to cup his cheek, the rough hair tickling her palm. 

What she felt right then was unmatched, the completeness morphing with a sense of serenity. Like the first breath of spring air or sipping chilled Rosé in the heat of summer, refreshing and light. The sensation in her chest spread, traveling to her finger and toes while the inner working of her head simply stopped. It didn’t matter what the road to lead them to that moment looked like, how much hurt there had been, confusion, despair and anguish, gone, just for a few savory minutes, letting them be in their own little bubble.

Butterfly wings fluttering against his lips, that was the only thing Keanu could liken that kiss too. It was so unlike anything they had shared before then and Keanu felt as if that was the last thing he ever did before he died, it would be okay, because even if he couldn’t say it, he’d shown her. Shown Y/n that she wasn’t just a body to him, that every touch he’d laid on her wasn’t a mistake, it could never be. 

What they had, whatever it was, was still in its infancy, but he liked it. Keanu wanted to show it off and protect it all at once. Keanu had always been afraid of relationships, and he could tell that Y/n was the same- there had always been an understated caution that hung in her words when spoke of Luke, like she was never really sure that sharing herself outside the realm of what was tangible was what she wanted. No doubt, they both had their flaws, but maybe, they could try together. Keanu wasn’t sure if it was what he wanted, but by then, he didn’t think he could firmly say he was sure of anything. Anything except for the fact that kissing Y/n felt right. 

When they broke, their breaths were still shared for a minute, Y/n and Keanu smiled softly. “Is this what you want?” Y/n’s voice was meek and unsteady, she didn’t even know if it was what she wanted.

Humming, Keanu lingered on the question for a minute, relaxing into the cushions. Acting on the urge, he pulled Y/n against his chest, her ear over his heartbeat. The blurry thoughts clouded his vision and Keanu knew his answer would change everything between them forever. But arguably, that had already happened. 

Suddenly plume of fear bloomed in the center of his chest; fear that he would hurt her, fear that they were too different, but most prominently, the paralyzing fear that she would hurt him. If Keanu let her in, chances are, he wouldn’t want her to leave. But it happened, it always did, they always left. 

Then again, what was life without fear? What was happiness without suffering?

“I…..” Keanu sighed at the way Y/n relaxed against him, absently tangling his fingers in the ends of her hair, his glazed eyes trained forward, “I think.....I think that maybe we could try. I mean, this is so confusing, and we didn’t exactly have the best start, but maybe it could work. I don’t really know how to do this,” he chuckled, usually asking a woman out came on instinct; Keanu would just do it. But the effort needed weight with Y/n, she deserved more than just a random offer for coffee, they got coffee together all the time. Keanu was about to start tripping over his words again when Y/n shifted against him, burrowing her nose deeper into his chest, “What are you-”

All it took was one look down for Keanu to realize that Y/n was far gone, and probably hadn’t heard a word of his ramblings. Huffing his quiet laughter, he shook off his thoughts, tightening his hold on her waist as he leaned his head back. Maybe he’d have something more worthwhile to offer her the next morning.

*****

Tagging- @harrisongslimited​  @paanchu786​  @thesadvampire​  @fanficsrusz​  @fickensteinn​  @ladyreapermc​  @babygirltaina​  @septimaseverina​  @snatchedbylele​  @omg-imagine @21stcenturyyfoxx​  @magnificentclodpiebanana 

[rayroute-clear-saeran-text-sound]

Hi! Could you do a ship for me? I’m 5’3 with long dark brown hair and grey/blue eyes. I’m interested in many types of history and media such as writing, drawing and photography and i’m currently taking a film course. I’m usually the mom of the group and am seen as quite sweet but i’m also very sassy, stubborn and teasing. I enjoy many types of games and play them whenever i get time i also have an extensive folder of memes. I’m a straight girl, Libra and an INFP. Thank you!💕

Yes, of course! I’m sorry, I went for kind of a low hanging fruit here, but I still hope you like it!

I pair you with Yoosung!

He obviously was first drawn to you through your hobby of gaming, so excited to have another gamer besides Seven in the group. But later, your variety of interests and sweet and nurturing personality made him feel at ease and comfortable, and he wanted to be around you 24/7.

 He would love playing any type of game with you when ever and where ever, whether it be a casual card game, board game, competitive round of LOLOL or Smash Bros, or a fun game of tag and/or hide and seek.

 Despite not wanting to be, he would be a sore loser. If you teased him about it, he would pout even more, probably retreating within the safety of his hoodie. You could only draw him out by saying you were leaving, which would startle him into profusely apologizing and begging you to stay.

 Would constantly brag about you to his gaming friends. Any opportunity to bring you up in the chat during a party mission on LOLOL, he would take. He would invite you to join his guild and play with his guild members, but eventually he would regret this decision; he could get jealous pretty easily, especially when you were talking too much with the other guild members for his taste.

 He would constantly ask to be updated on meme culture, as he would sometimes miss some trends due to his studies and LOLOL. He honestly thought it was adorable when you sent him memes, and his heart would absolutely melt if you ever sent him wholesome love memes. However, Seven would call a double standard because Yoosung would only get irritated whenever he would send memes.

 He would act super annoyed whenever you teased him, but deep down he loved it. He would actually find himself sad if a day went by without you poking fun at his cuteness and childishness. 

 He loves your entire personality, but secretly, your sassy and stubborn side is his favorite. Even if he acts like it’s obnoxious to him (usually it’s poor acting and you can see right through him), he finds it fun to watch you refuse to leave something or let go of an idea, and adores when you tell him off; he thinks you’re at your most attractive when you tell him what to do, bonus points if you’re irritable about it. He’s a definite bottom. 

 This boy is impossibly happy whenever you take care of him. He gets stressed over having to care for himself, so he usually gives up on it entirely. He also struggles with making decisions for himself, but he’s trying to get better about it in order to “be more of a man” for you. A guaranteed way to get him to cheer up if he’s having a rough day is to mother him a bit. Your strong maternal characteristics and voice of reason for your friend groups really draws him closer to you, as your vibe makes him feel comfortable. 

 He doesn’t really understand your interest in history, as it’s one of his least favorite subjects; however, that’s not saying much considering he hates any class that has nothing to do with animals. He tries to take a liking to it for you, but unless it has to do with cool warriors and battles, he loses interest pretty fast. But, if he has any problems with history, he knows exactly who to go to for help. Expect a lot of calls in the middle of the night for help with last minute history homework or projects.

 He honestly thinks your passion for the arts is so cool. He wants all updates on any stories you’re writing, and probably will present multiple story ideas to you; most are about his LOLOL character, and all the other ones aren’t very fleshed out, but you have found a few gems in his pile of terrible suggestions.

 He would draw with you sometimes, but he’d start feeling bad when he began comparing his work to yours. You’d draw him his LOLOL character for a gift, and he would start tearing up. No joke, real tears would be shed that day. 

 He’s pretty fascinated with your photography, as he’s been around it when Rika and V were still together, but always assumed it wasn’t that difficult. Photography also left a bad taste in his mouth after Rika’s death, but you managed to change that for him. He definitely had more respect for V’s work after you explained all the different factors that go into a good photoshoot, and all of the little details kind of overwhelmed him. He loved to watch you take pictures, and would secretly wish for you to ask him to be a subject of a photoshoot. Would love it when you wanted to photograph animals, and would beg you to let him tag along. If you were interested, he would put aside his differences with V to ask him to give you a lesson in photography to give you extra tips. 

 He would be such an active supporter of all your film projects. He loves movies, and would love any short film or project you produced. Any time you finished something, he would absolutely go overboard and make a viewing party for you to show it off, inviting all of the RFA over. Usually, only Seven, and sometimes Zen, would show up, but it was the thought that counted. If Seven got a hold of your files, you know he would be on them in an instant, promoting them in the same way he got Zen famous. 

 Anytime you would cry, he would begin to cry too. Any fight with him would be incredibly emotionally charged, but there weren’t very many, as you both managed your relationship well.

 You would often help him study, although it wouldn’t usually go well unless it was history. For almost every other subject, the two of you would either get distracted by games, the RFA, or yourselves. However, he would try harder in school for you

He lives for the fact that you’re on the shorter side. It makes him feel less pressured when he stands at a small 5’7”. He likes the fact that he can just lean down to kiss you on the forehead, and that he can rest his chin on your head.

He would constantly try to get you to wear his hoodies, even if you didn’t want to. He thought you looked adorable in them, and it made him so happy.

Always sending pictures of you to the messenger, trying to flex on everyone with his beautiful girlfriend. Zen is of course always jealous, and Seven always refers to you has his best friend, which makes Yoosung jealous for two reasons: he’s pretty possesive over you, and he thought he was Seven’s best friend.

Your phone rang out and pierced the silence of your dark room, and without sparing the caller ID a glance, you knew who was calling you. Who else would call out of the blue at three AM? 

“Yoosung...you do know what time it is, right?” 

“Yeah, I know, and I’m sorry...but I need help.” You sighed, grasping the covers in one hand, holding your phone up to your ear with the other.

“I’m sorry too. You procrastinating until last minute on your history homework really isn’t my problem. Goodnight-”

“Wait, Cala! Pleaseee?” His voice took on a whining tone, the one he knew would get him what he wanted one way or another; whether that be you getting so exasperated that you just give in, or you feeling bad enough that you agree to his terms.

“Fine. You know all these favors are stacking up, right?” You sat up in bed, pinching yourself to prevent yourself from dozing off.

“I owe you big time, I know! I just...haven’t figured out how to repay you yet.” His voice got smaller the longer his sentence went on, and you felt yourself smiling.

“Oh really? Because I know how. You could gift me your ultra rare-”

“Anything but that! I’ll even come be your maid for the day!” You examined your nails in the dark, smirking at his sensitivity when it came to his LOLOL items. You could imagine his red face despite the fact that he knew you were joking, and it made you miss him more than ever.

“Just come cook for me this weekend and we’re even. Anyways, what era is the assignment on?” You could hear him heave a massive sigh of relief, so glad that you would help him, regardless of the time.

“Have I ever mentioned how much I love you, Cala?” You heard the shuffling of papers, and pictured him organizing his history homework meticulously. 

“Yep, all the time.”

[weightofworlds-blog1]

GIANT CHARACTER SURVEY

[ tagged by ]: @eloquated [ tagging ]: if you’d like to do it, feel free!

G E N E R A L

[ name ]: Catarina Loss [ nicknames ]: Cat, if you must.  [ birthday ]: I know that it was in early to mid August, but keeping track of the date was difficult in those days, and my mother was uneducated. But really, what does it matter? I’m immortal. Birthdays are hardly an occasion.  [ birthplace ]: Lisbon, Portugal [ age ]: Don’t you know that it’s rude to ask a lady her age?  [ eye color ]: Naturally, they’re blue. Under the glamour I usually wear, they’re dark brown. [ height ]: 5″4 [ weight ]: Really? First my age,  and now my weight? I’m fit, according to the BMI index, and since I’m a nurse, I would know. [ nationality ]: That answer to that question is a bit more complicated than it seems. My mother was originally from Africa, but taken to Portugal to be a slave. I was born there. My father, however -- well. He has no nationality, nor do I care. [ astrological sign ]: Leo [ location ]: My apartment in Brooklyn, New York.  [ siblings ]: My mother had no other children. I suppose I could have some half siblings, somewhere, but I have never cared to find out.  [ pets ]: I’m a nurse. Having pet hair all over my clothing would be unhygienic. Besides, I’m never home enough to take care of one. Perhaps when Madzie is older, though! [ in the morning i’m ]: either coming home from a shift at the hospital, or on my way to one. [ all i need is ]: coffee and a great deal of patience.  [ love is ]: the reason we are all here. The love of our parents, the love of each other -- ultimately, it is why I live the way I do, why my life is dedicated to healing and the daughter I’ve adopted.  [ i’m afraid of ]: loss. Being unable to protect Madzie. Failing at the job I’ve chosen. I’m afraid of many things, but the centuries have taught me to live despite these fears.  [ i dream about ]: Usually? Camping trips far away from civilization. 

H A V E . Y O U . E V E R ?

[pictured your crush naked?] Oh, for heaven’s sake. Yes. I suppose I have. [ used someone? ]: I have lived for a long time, and I have made mistakes. Yes. I have.  [ been used? ]: Yes.  [ been cheated on? ]: Technically, I suppose so. But I was not invested in the relationship, and he knew it -- so I’m not sure he can be blamed for that decision. [ considered cheating? ]: No. If i don’t want to be in a relationship any longer, I end it. [ been kissed? ]: I am not a nun, so. Yes.  [ done something you regret? ]: Can anyone live for as long as I have without regrets? I find it unlikely. 

F A V O R I T E

[ food? ]: Lately, I’ve been rather partial to Kung Pao chicken.  [ fruit? ]:  Apples. [ candy? ]: Snickers. I eat an embarrassing amount of them from the vending machine in the hospital break room.  [ color? ]: Embarrassingly enough, I’m partial to blue. [ number? ]: I can honestly say I have never had a favorite number. [ animal? ]: Doves. The symbolism behind them is rather beautiful. [ drink? ]: Coffee. Or craft beer, depending on the circumstance. [ soda? ]: Coke. [ book? ]: The Princess Bride. Harlequin romances. [ room? ]: My living room. Or Ragnor’s office, though I certainly wouldn’t tell him that! [ movie? ]: Gone With the Wind

D O . Y O U ?

[ have a boyfriend/girlfriend? ]: No.  [ like cleaning? ]: Absolutely not. For that, I use magic. [ have a tattoo? ]: No.  [ have any piercings? ]: My ears are pierced.  [ cheat on tests/homework? ]: I never had a formalized education, so I never really had the opportunity.  [ drink/smoke? ]: Drink, yes. Smoke? That’s a repulsive habit, even if I am immortal and cannot die from lung cancer. [ swear a lot? ]: I suppose that would depend on your definition of ‘a lot.’ I try to keep it to a minimum around Madzie. [ like watching sunrises or sunset? ]: If I have the time, yes.  [ pray? ]: Not in a long time.  [ go to church? ]: No. [ have secrets? ]: No, of course not. No secrets at all.  [ have a best friend? ]: Magnus Bane or Ragnor Fell -- I refuse to even attempt to pick between them. Magnus would pout for ages, and Ragnor would become even more prickly.  [ like your own handwriting? ]: I may not be a doctor, but my handwriting tends to resemble that of one, unfortunately.

A R E . Y O U ?

[ obsessive? ]: Does anyone admit readily to being obsessive? I suppose some people may think my dedication to healing is obsessive, but it isn’t. [ excited? ]: Under the right circumstances! [ bored? ]: I live with a five year old, and have a high pressure job. When do I have time to be bored? [ happy? ]: Most days.  [ missing someone? ]: Always. [ confused? ]: Only when discussing fashion with Magnus. [ tired? ]: Again, I live with a five year old and work in a hospital. What do you think? [ mad? ]: At this moment? No. [ sleepy? ]: Are sleepy and tired two different things now? I’m not answering this twice.

D O . Y O U . E V E R ?

[ wait around just to talk to someone? ]: I’m not a teenaged girl, so no. [ write about those ‘special’ moments? ]: No.  [ wish you were a member of the opposite sex? ]: I used to, frequently. Men could become doctors, officially, and had many more opportunities in the medical field. I am happy with where I am, now, but I would have liked the opportunity to do something different.

W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N . W H O ?

[ you talked to? ]: Magnus -- he called to check in an hour or so ago. [ you hugged? ]: Madzie, before bed. [ you kissed? ]: Also Madzie, on the forehead, after I tucked her in. [ sent you a letter? ]: Do fire messages count? I believe that was Tessa. [ you sent a letter to? ]: A response to Tessa, most likely. [ you laughed with? ]: One of the other nurses. Humor in the ER is always important. [ slept in your bed? ]: Madzie, after a nightmare. [ you shared a drink with? ]:  Does Magnus stealing sips of my wine count? [ you went to the movies with? ]: I have no idea. I haven’t seen a movie in a theater in a very long time. [ yelled at you? ]: Ah, a parent of a patient I could not save. The girl was only thirteen, and her mother was distraught. I didn’t blame her for yelling. [ you called? ]: The babysitter, to be sure she was still able to watch Madzie during my shift today. [ you kicked? ]: I haven’t kicked anyone in recent memory -- is that something that people normally do? [ you saw? ]: Madzie, before I put her to bed.

W H O . I S ?

[ the most handsome person you know? ]: Hm. I’ve always thought that Ragnor was rather nice to look at.  [ the weirdest person you know? ]: Most certainly Magnus. [ the funniest person you know? ]: I think I’ll award that one to Simon Lewis. [ the loudest person you know? ]: That would be my darling daughter, after she has had a chance to warm up to everyone in the room.   [ the quietest person you know? ]: Tessa, maybe? [ the sweetest person you know? ]: Though she has been gone for many years, this title will always go to my mother -- a woman who risked her life every day for eighteen years to look after a blue, magical child. [ the most serious person you know? ]: Ragnor, I expect. [ your best friend? ]: Again? I still refuse to pick between the two of them. [ the person you hate the most? ]: Valentine Morganstern. If what he did to the Downworld was not enough, what he did to Madzie would have put him at the top of that list on its own. [ the person you see most? ]: Madzie. [ your soul-mate? ]: I don’t believe in this nonsense.

W H A T . I S ?

[ the first thing you thought of when you woke up? ]: Madzie - she was bouncing at the edge of my mattress! [ the song that best describes you? ]: This one. [ your best feature? ]: I’m rather partial to my hair.  [ your most treasured memory? ]: When I was very young, my mother took me to the river near our home. It was always just the two of us -- this was long before I knew what a glamour was, let alone how to use one -- but I got to leave the cottage, and was able to run around and chase after butterflies while my mother watched. I treasure all of the time I spent with her, but these memories are some of my favorites.

I N . T H E . F U T U R E

[ what is the age you hope to get married? ]: I hardly thing age is the important factor in that decision. [ number and names of kids? ]: I have raised a child already, and his name was Aurelio, and now I have Madzie. I can’t say that I will never take in another, though I’m fairly content now. [ where do you see yourself at age twenty? ]: Oh, for the love of --  [ describe your dream wedding? ]: I have no idea. I’ve given up on dreaming of such things, for the most part. [ when and how do you want to die? ]: This is a fairly morbid question! I suppose I’d like to die peacefully, somehow.  [ what are your career plans? ]: I’ve been a healer for hundreds of years, and don’t plan on changing that anytime soon. [ some place you’d like to visit? ]: I’d like to return to Portugal, someday. I always enjoy London, as well. 

L A S T . T I M E

[ last time you went out of state? ]: The last time I went hiking with Ragnor, before his death. [ last time you were outside? ]: On my way home from the hospital this evening. [ last time you had a snowball fight? ]: I don’t think I ever have! [ last time you were listening to music? ]: I have jazz playing now, actually.

O T H E R

[ how many people would you say are good friends of yours? ]: Friends that are still alive? 2.  [ what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? ]: Emotional.  [ have you felt this recently? ]: Grief is the worst sort of emotional pain, and we have all suffered loss, lately. [ what do you wear to bed? ]: sweats, usually. [ when’s the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? ]: Madzie brought her bear to bed last time she had a nightmare and climbed in with me, so then, I guess. [ have you ever used a ouija board? ]: No. I prefer not to interact with the spiritual realm. [ how many rings before you pick up the phone? ]: Admittedly, I’m awful at answering the phone. Usually, it rings until it goes to voicemail, and I have to call back later.

[shiyaki]

Symphony 1

Pairing: Vishous / Butch aka Dhestroyer

Fandoms: Black Dagger Brotherhood

Summary: “I can’t believe I’m asking this, but I guess weirder things have happened, true? You’re in a time loop?”

Warnings: Temporary character death, swearing, violence

“Hey Cop, feeling better?”

„V, already finished your rounds?”   Butch raised his hand in greeting, but didn’t bother looking away from the TV in front of him or providing an update on his current state of health. “Hey, do ya know anyone who’s good at playing the piano? Or making ice sculptures?”

From the corner of his eye he noticed Vishous stop in mid-motion, the gloveless hand no longer seeking a self-rolled cigarette and the right foot still raised from nudging the door closed. Even without seeing it, he could vividly imagine the current ‘what the fuck’-expression on his best friend’s face. Butch’s lips curled into a wistful grin. Incredulity was a good look on the other male; every expression was a good look on him except for that one. The one burned into Butch’s soul and which he never ever wanted to experience again.

“Why? Did the transition knock loose more than a sudden appreciation for chocolate? What’s up with the sudden art enthusiasm?” V ribbed after a short moment of silence and lowered his hand, the cigarette apparently forgotten for the moment. He approached the couch, where he spent a full minute watching Bill Murray tinkling the ivories on the widescreen. “You’re watching Grounddog Day…”

“Yup.” Ignoring Vishous’ judgingly raised eyebrow, Butch stuffed a bite of the huge, extra-cheese pizza, with cheesy crust into his mouth. He didn’t even feel guilty about the amount of fat he was currently consuming. Besides a vampire’s ridiculously quick metabolism, which would be the envy of every and all eating contest participants worldwide, the calories wouldn’t be a problem for more than a few days.

V’s piercing gaze wandered from the side of Butch’s head to the half-emptied bottle of Lagavulin and the stack of DVDs on the coffee table, then he picked up the latter. His diamond colored eyes quickly skimmed the synopses on the back covers and with each one the furrows on V’s forehead became more pronounced. Finally he dropped the movies back onto the table and eyed Butch bemusedly.

“You must be really bored. A time loop marathon, Cop?”

Butch silently stared back at Vishous, chewing away on another mouthful and using the time to ponder the situation. Did he want V to know? It wasn’t like it was going to help his plight, but… Well, who was he kidding? Of course he wanted him to know. He wanted him to know and keep knowing and he wanted a lot of other things that were out of his reach.

“It’s kinda soothing.” Butch averted his gaze from V’s half lidded eyes and hissed in annoyance when he shifted and irritated his still sensitive skin. “They’re caught in a loop, forced to experience the same day time and time again, while everyone around them forgets. It’s slowly driving them insane, because they have no idea how to escape and they’re starting to do stupid things, but…” A pair of black boots appeared in front of him seconds before two heavy hands settled on his shoulders.

“Butch?”

“… But in the end they fix whatever the fuck needs fixing and then they’re on their merry way to the future,” Butch finished and closed his eyes. His mouth had run away with him, but he honestly didn’t care, he was just so tired and sick of this.

“You don’t sound all that soothed,” Vishous assessed. It seemed more like an afterthought, though the squeeze to Butch’s shoulder felt earnest. “I can’t believe I’m asking this, but I guess weirder things have happened, true? You’re in a time loop?”

Butch wasn’t too surprised that V had jumped to that conclusion based on his ramblings or that the other vampire seemed to give the idea some real consideration. He was great like that. “Always knew you were a smart guy. Or, I guess, bright spark fits you better, with the glowy thing and stuff.” The remark earned him a punch to the shoulder, but he just grinned.

Vishous fetched a still unopened bottle of Grey Goose and a tumbler from the kitchen and threw his leather jacket over the backrest of the couch, before he dropped down next to Butch. While unscrewing the cap, V side-eyed him, his gaze filled with curiosity and concern.

“So… how long have you been at this?”

“Can’t really say. A year maybe?” Butch put the rest of his pizza slice back into the box and wiped the grease off his fingers with one of the tissues he had located nearby for other, more personal substances. “It’s hard to keep track, especially because it’s not just a day but nine. The loop begins during my transition, which sucks ass by the way, and lasts until the day of my initial initiation into the Brotherhood.”

Vishous forwent the tumbler and took a pull right on the bottle. Then another one. “Tell me everything, maybe we can find out what’s causing it.” “Oh, I know what started all of this. Your-… uh… the Scribe Virgin apparently had some-“

“Wait! My what?” V narrowed his eyes at him, but Butch firmly shook his head and cursed his slip of the tongue.

“Nope, forget what I just said. Buddy, please believe me when I say that you don’t want to know. And honestly? I don’t want to tell ya, especially not now. The last time I was there to witness you getting this information ya went all phoenix or dragon or some shit and turned several buildings into dust.”

Vishous was full out glaring at him now and looked about ready to shake or punch the truth out of Butch, but that hadn’t intimidated him (much) when he had still been a human and it certainly wouldn’t now.  Five minutes into their staring match, V huffed and his glare subsided to a ‘This ain’t over’- narrowing of his eyes. Butch barely managed to suppress his grin.

“So, as I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me, the Scribe Virgin had some sort of vision after my initiation, but things weren’t right for it to come true, so she started this damn time loop and it won’t stop until I achieve whatever it is that leads to her picture perfect future. And because she’s an unhelpful bitch, she refuses to tell me what she saw. Only on the last day, by the way, before then she has no clue what’s going on.” Butch had never seen V’s eyes get this big and he had seen a lot of expressions on the other vampire’s face. Huh…

“Please tell me you have never called her that to her face, Cop,” Vishous muttered despairingly into his hands, after he’d buried his face in them. The shock had apparently dissipated the remaining irritation completely.

“I did actually. Once. Didn’t end well, but it’s still the truth. Anyway, I’m taking this loop off, as they say.” It was still ridiculous that he could say such a thing in any plausible context.

“But-“

“No. V…” Butch dragged a hand through his hair and uttered a bone-deep sigh. “I know this is new for you, but I promise, I’ve already told ya all of this. Repeatedly. I’ve told you and the rest of the Brotherhood and Marissa and… Hell, I talked to Rhevenge once or twice. I’ve tried so many different things and I always wake up to the feeling of every damn bone in my body breaking and the knowledge that I have yet again failed at whatever the Scribe Virgin wants me to do. I just… Please don’t get on my case for a few days of time-out.”

For a long, almost unbearable moment, silence was Butch’s only answer. He didn’t dare look at Vishous’ face to gauge his reaction, so he startled a bit, when the other vampire got up. Instead of leaving, however, V swapped the DVD in the DVD player and sat back down. He pressed the play button on the remote control, when the main menu popped up and settled his legs on the table after snatching one of the pizza slices.

“I don’t know anything about piano playing or ice sculpturing, but I can show you some blacksmithing, true?”

Some of the tension drained out of Butch’s body, enough for a small grin to appear on his lips. “And baking bread?”

“What?”  V raised a disbelieving eyebrow. Totally unnecessary in Butch’s opinion.

“Well, you… not you you obviously, but a you said that ya bake awesome bread. I’m curious if that’s the truth.”

V mouthed ‘a you’ and shook his head. “Stop talking, before I get more of a headache than I already have. But okay. I guess, we can put baking bread on the list, too.”

~*~

Vishous was utterly frustrated with the situation and being covered in flour from head to toe didn’t even factor in. Though how Butch had managed to turn the kitchen into a winter wonderland or a cocaine drug bust gone wrong (depending on the one being asked) was still beyond him.

No, the main reason was this whole time loop business.

Sure, it was hard to wrap his mind around the concept, but V did believe Butch. The expressions he had seen on his best friend’s face the previous night would have been enough to convince him, but the cop also moved like he had had a fuckton of time getting used to his new body. There were also the new skills in dematerialization, knife throwing and the Old Language. Not to mention the information Butch evidently was and shouldn’t be privy to.

V didn’t know which issue to tackle first. The apparent connection he shared with the Scribe Virgin and finding out what other stuff Butch had dug up on him? Just imagining that the cop knew about his lovely five-star stay in Bloodletter’s camp turned his stomach.

Maybe he should first focus on puzzling out how to stop this time loop shit, before Butch really went loopy. He was already on his best way to the loony bin, it seemed. Why else would they be standing in the Pit’s kitchen, channeling girl scouts? What next? Would they collaborate with Rhevenge and sell hash cookies in ZeroSums for a good cause?

Anyway, Butch had mentioned… other Vs (what the fuck?) coming up with ideas, which had ultimately ended in failure, but that didn’t mean he would just sit around on his ass and twiddle his thumbs. He would indulge Butch’s wish for a week-long time-out, though, because he really, really looked like he needed one and V was pathetically whipped, when it came to the cop. Hopefully he wouldn’t come up with anything too outrageous, like robbing a bank… Huh, that could be pretty interesting, actually. Not the ski-mask wearing, bank clerk threatening take on things, of course, more of an Ocean 11 kinda thing.

“Sorry about dumping this on ya,” Butch muttered, looking up from the dough he was kneading dutifully. He looked fucking ridiculous with the wannabe salt and pepper hair and the smudge on his cheek. “Know you have enough on your plate at the moment, buddy.” His gaze flickered to V’s twitching eyelid, which was usually covered by his, well, their Red Sox cap. Vishous hadn’t bothered wearing it in the Pit. Butch probably knew all about it, anyway, including what his nightmare was about. That was a whole new nightmare in the making to be honest…

“Don’t rack your brain about it, Cop, true?” V nodded to the dough, while his hands deftly worked on a self-rolled. “Throw a towel over that and leave it alone for an hour or so.” A smirk curled the corner of his lips. “You can use that time to play Cinderella and scrub the kitchen clean.”

And Vishous would spend it working on… something, as long as he was far away from Butch and the cop’s growing problem.

Fucking post-trans horniness.