#his anatomy in the actual pic ended up a bit messy

[messedupessy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @bulle-blackhole (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ❤❤❤

That’s right, on this fine Halloween day, the bestest of french fries celebrates their birthday, so had to quickly make something as a gift, and so had to draw one of my latest boys, Easefell snas aka Thyme for them :>c ❤

This boy be one awkward mess of a boy, and decided to try to knit a little Raphael plush thing for ya B, but he never done it before and it ended up very messy and the proportions are all wrong, and now he regrets that he tried to knit when he could just had done something in metal instead which is something he is good at, but it’s too late for that now, so hopefully you will like his little gift, he tried his best UwU ❤

Anyway, happy birthday again my sweetest of french fries! I love you! ❤❤

[tvip11-fics]

.needles and human kisses

A/N: This is for @ladyaudentium who drew me a pic of happy dark gray with baby Jax! Sorry if this sucks, I originally was trying to write a drabble but then my brain decided to run with it lol. 

Dark Gray AU + A budding friendship between Sam and Val. Warnings: A little bit of language

Sam almost knocked, then hesitated, and then almost knocked again. She huffed. This shouldn’t be that hard.

Valerie now was way different from the Valerie she used to know, at least, that’s what she kept telling herself as she pulled into the driveway of Valerie’s beach house.

And speaking of beach houses, holy shit, Valerie’s was huge. With two stories and a crazy wrap around porch, the house contained three bathrooms, four bedrooms, a basement that Sam vaguely remembers being filled with liquor from her high school days, and a hot tub in the back that most of the football team lost their virginity in.

Sam sighed and the salty wind brushed past her and played with the end her lab coat. It’s not hard to knock. And Valerie called her, so that means she wanted her to come over. So why, why, why-?

Valerie swung open the door and sighed in relief. She pulled the scientist into a tight hug. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

When Valerie let her go, Sam took a chance to look her up and down. Valerie was still curvy and pretty and rich to boot, but with her hair in a messy bun, no makeup on her face and her outfit being composed of an old Casper High t-shirt and shorts, she almost looked…middle class.

“I didn’t think you would come,” said Valerie as she brought Sam inside. “Just, y’know, after high school and not really being…nice to you or Fenton.”

Sam readjusted the bag on her shoulder. “Well, I’m not gonna deny someone who’s in need.” Sam looked around the living room for signs of the rare gecko that Valerie said she needed to be tested. “Where is it, by the way?”

Valerie made a face. “Okay, what if, hypothetically, the gecko was not a gecko?”

Sam frowned. “Don’t tell me you called me about a dog.” Tucker had done that to her more times than she could count.

Valerie let out a funny laugh. “Well, it’s not a dog either.”

“Then what is it?”

Valerie motioned for her to follow her and Sam complied. They went up the stairs and down the hall to the bathroom at the end. Valerie placed her hand on the knob. “Alright, don’t freak out,” she warned.

Valerie swung the door open. “Holy shit,” said Sam.

“I told you not to freak out!”

“Holy shit!”

In Valerie’s bathtub was a merman. And not some weirdo in a costume either, a real, live actual merman whose big ass tail hung over the rim of the tub, allowing water to drip all over the linoleum floor.

“Valerie,” he said, baritone voice going through one of Sam’s ears and out the other, “you should’ve told me were expecting guests. I would’ve put on a shirt.”

Sam gawked at him. “This has to be a dream.”

“Well, it isn’t,” said Valerie as she got down on her knees and reached behind the merman’s head to turn on the cold water. Part of his tail had grown crusty, and he was looking pale, or rather, as pale as one could with blue skin. Two clear indicators that he needed more water. “Sadly, this is one hundred percent real.”

The merman frowned, his fin beating defiantly against the tub. “Sadly? I’ll have you know that most people would be begging for something this awe-inspiring to happen to them.”

“Oh really?” Valerie stopped the water just as it reached the rim of the tub. “Well I bet sixty percent of those people would either eat you or dissect you for science in a heartbeat.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it once he realized he was fighting a losing battle.

“What’s your name?” asked Sam as she gripped at the strap of her bag.

“Dan,” he said as he tilted his head slightly to avoid the water getting in his face.

“Dan,” she pondered on it for a moment. “Huh. Doesn’t sound very aquatic.”

The end of his tail flipped up in irritation. “What the hell were you expecting? Ariel?”

Sam blinked. “D-Did you show him The Little Mermaid? Of all things?”

“Hey, in my defense, he’s very annoying when he gets bored and my tablet is waterproof,” she said as she pulled back, her hand getting caught in Dan’s wet locks. They were slightly slimy, probably from the natural mucus that coated his body. It was one of the many, many, many gross things that she’d learned about his body over the past two weeks. “Also, he was very curious,” she said as she wiped her hand on her leg, not caring that it was going to be crusty later.

“And,” chimed in Dan, “I am very offended by what you idiot humans think of merpeople.”

“Well, today’s your lucky day,” said Valerie as she heaved herself up, “ ‘Cause Sam isn’t an idiot human, she’s a super awesome scientist who’s gonna help you with your tail.”

Sam gulped. “Uh, Valerie, I’ve never really worked with mermaids before.”

“Well, you were killer in Anatomy, so just combine a fish and a human and just roll with it,” said Valerie simply.

Sam frowned. “I don’t think that’s how that works.”

Dan huffed. “I don’t care what you have to do as long as you can get me out this damn tub.”

“He’s injured,” explained Valerie. As if that were his cue, Dan lifted up his tail to show off as much of his wound as he could without hurting himself. Sam was able to catch a glimpse of the chunk of missing tail, the white fat and pink muscle puffy and slightly red.  “I was hoping you could do something, like test his blood and make mermaid Neosporin or something?”

“Test my blood?” Dan flicked his fin. “That sounds like it involves something sharp.”

“It may or may not involve a needle.”

Each one of Dan’s iridescent scales shivered in a wave-like fashion before his fear finally traveled up his spine. He attempted to stuff himself into the bathtub, getting water all over the place in the process. “No. No, no, no-.”

Valerie groaned. “Good God, it’s not a fish hook!”

“If it pokes then it’s a fish hook to me!” he hissed.

Sam cast Valerie a look. “Is he afraid of needles?”

“Yes, even though he shouldn’t be because he has two rows of friggin’ razor sharp teeth!”

“My teeth and sharp objects are two different things!”

"Well, that's the only way I can get blood," explained Sam.

Dan crossed his arms and sunk into the bathtub, sloshing more water everywhere. At this rate, Valerie was going to be paying at least two grand a month on her water bill alone.

"Then I guess I'm never getting healed and I'll die in this stupid bathtub," he hissed.

Valerie sighed. "I'll hold your hand." Another thing Valerie discovered was that Dan was incredibly touchy. He liked to latch onto her, play with her hair, even hold her hand if she allowed it. When asked if all merpeople were like that, he simply dodged the question.

Dan's brows jumped. "I thought you said my hands were too cold."

"Your whole body is cold," she said, "but if holding your hand will get you through this thing then so be it."

Dan slipped his hand out of the water and latched onto Valerie's. She fought the urge to shiver and pull away. "Fine,” he said, “but I want a human kiss later.”

Sam looked at Valerie for an explanation of a “human kiss”, but all she got was a soft shake of the head. “Maybe, if you’re good,” she said.

Dan nodded and turned to Sam. “Stab me.”

Sam turned toward her bag and pulling out a vial and syringe. Valerie could feel Dan's grip tighten on her hand as he watched her clean the needle.

"Hey," said Valerie. "Look at me."

Dan turned to her, a bit of fear in his eye. It was weird, seeing him like this, almost childlike and pouty; so different from the haughty merman she had found stranded on the beach.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Sam was about to draw his blood. She needed to keep his attention. "Hey, wanna hear a human secret?"

The ends of his fin stood up in the air. "Secret?"

"Yeah. It's the reason we even formed a system of government and some say it will be our downfall and destroy all of mankind."

Dan rose a brow as Sam found his vein. "Really?" He leaned in slightly. "Tell me."

"Barbeque sauce."

Dan blinked. "What the fuck is barbe- Ow!" He cast Sam a dirty look as she took the blood.

"Sorry!" she said as she watched the vial fill up.

He turned back to Valerie, baring his teeth at her. "You did that on purpose."

"Yeah, it's called a distraction, sweetie."

Dan death gripped her hand until Sam was done. When she finally pulled out the needle and bandaged his arm, he let go, leaving Valerie's hand coated in slime. She wiped her hand on her pants.

"I think this should be enough," said Sam as she filled the vial and screwed it shut. She slipped it into her bag for safe keeping. "I'll call you if I find out anything."

"I'm going to walk her to the door," said Valerie. She glared at him like a mother reprimanding her children. "Do not try to leave this tub."

"Aye, aye, captain," he said, fingers messing with the bandage on his arm.

Valerie shut the door behind them and they went down the stairs together. "So, ‘human kiss’ ?”

Valerie groaned. “He thinks they’re special. Apparently, mermaids don’t kiss for romantic reasons, they kiss to bite each other’s tongues off.”

Sam’s nose scrunched up. “Gross.”

“He said it shows dominance.”

“Double gross.”

Valerie smiled. “I know right?”

Sam sighed wistfully as they reached the bottom step. This weird visit to Valerie’s wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be.  "I just- I can't believe you found a mermaid. Like an actual mermaid.” She scoffed. “My coworkers are gonna flip-."

Valerie covered Sam's mouth with her hand. "No. You are not allowed to tell anybody about this. Even Danny. Got it?"

Sam nodded and Valerie moved her hand away. "Well, I'm gonna have to tell them something when I test this blood at the lab tonight," explained Sam.

Valerie pushed back her hair, only for her curls to fall right back into her face. "Tell them it's a super rare fish or something. Just please don't tell them about Dan. He's caused me enough trouble."

Sam nodded as she reached the door. "Alright. And hey, for the record, you really should get Dan outta that tub. Him swimming around might actually help him heal up a bit."

"So you want me to lug his big ass down to my pool? What if my neighbors see?"

"That's why you do it at night." Sam reached for the handle of the front door. "And if it really is a hassle getting him out of the house, then I can help you if you really need me to."

Valerie gawked at her. "Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's not like we're in high school anymore," said Sam.

Valerie almost pondered on the thought, but a crash upstairs interrupted her thoughts. Sam snickered. “I guess he’s getting impatient for his ‘human kiss’.”

“That fishy fucker,” growled Valerie as she bounded up the stairs.

Sam giggled as she closed the door. This was definitely not a regular visit.

+Bonus!

She bounded up the stairs, praying to God that Dan hadn't broken the tub or worse.

When she opened the bathroom door, she found him in the bath, ripped shower curtain in hand and the metal bar on the ground. "I didn't try to leave."

Valerie placed her hands on her hips. "Then what happened?”

"My tail knocked into it," he explained. "I was being good."

Valerie sighed and bent down to pick up the bar. "Of course you were."

He beat his fin against the tub. "And since I was so good, I think I deserve my human kiss now," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Why do you have to call it a human kiss?" said Valerie. "Just call it a kiss."

"Because it's different from my kiss," he said.

Valerie adjusted the bar as she placed it back. "Uh..."

He beat his tail again. "Just one. Please?" he begged.

"Jeez, fine." She kneeled down beside the tub and braced her arm against the other side. "Just...don't do anything weird."

She leaned in close and Dan grabbed onto the back of her shirt, pulling her down toward him. He was eager; pressing his lips against hers as soon as he could reach them. His lips felt slick and cold, sending shivers down her spine. She could feel his tongue- maybe tongues? -against hers as she relaxed into the kiss.

He reached up, putting his hand in her hair like he saw humans do in the movies he'd watch on Valerie's tablet. He liked the way her mouth felt, warm and wet. A happy sound escaped him, and he wanted more.

Valerie pulled away, her lips wet with saliva. Dan hummed and beat his fin against the tub. "I like your mouth," he said, grinning. "Again?"

Valerie stood up, her face flushed. "Maybe later."