#hiking with a dear friend made me remember (yet again) that I can experience joy unspoiled by grief!!

[flickeringflame216]

Blessings!!

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Weekly Blog Post #1 -Goodbye 2018 and Welcome 2019

1/11/2019

Dear Future me,

I’m a bit late starting this (which I have no excuse for), but the gist is that I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to make a blog post every week as a way to document and look back on all the good and possibly not good things happening in my life. There's no formula here, it’s mainly be just a free for all to talk about my week and the things I enjoy.

That being said, This first entry will be a bit different and quite a bit longer than normal, as I reflect back on the recently ended 2018. This year stretched on unusually long as Trumps Politics became a raging dumpster fire threatening a country wide collapse on a weekly basis, and authoritarian began spreading further throughout the rest of the World. For me personally, I

-wrote a 26 page thesis that I will never look at again

-graduated from UC with a Neuroscience degree

-served a term as a research assistant taking care of mice

-worked at then quit my job at Staples

-Got a job at the IRS

-Got suspended from my job at the IRS due to a government shutdown that is still in effect

-started dating for the first time (though no girlfriend as of yet)

-grew even closer to my friends as we typically hung out at least twice a week

-entered a DnD campaign

-Got suspended from playing said DnD campaign

-Discovered I like Sushi

-Went to my first concert since middle school (Panic! at the Disco and Hayley Kiyoko)

-Stayed at a cabin with my friends where we played strip jenga and got lost hiking in the woods for 8 miles in a thunderstorm

-Got a mysterious disease that lasted 2 weeks from said hike

-Grew my hair out then cut 10 inches off and donated it

-My best friend got engaged, My sister went to Sweden, and my brother moved to Toledo

-Watching my puppy Cocoa grow up (though we technically got her late 2017)

And probably a lot more that I can’t remember at the moment. As per usual I spent a lot of 2018 consuming media like the nerd that I am, so I’m going to spend the rest of this far too long entry ranking my favorite things I saw/read in 2018. These will be ranked by pure enjoyment, not overall quality, and aren't meant to be an objective best of list. I just want to talk about things I like. So:

Top 5 Movies

Honorable mention- Hereditary, a fantastic and deeply unsettling film that was one of the most emotionally charged viewing experiences I’ve ever had. It would be high on the list if I had actually watched in 2018, but I only just now watched it and had made the list before hand. Still, one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen.

5-Venom-Movie was a fucking mess but it was pretty fun. I love the concept of the Symbiotes.

4-A Quiet Place-A movie with almost no sound/verbal dialogue and a great sense of suspense

3-Black Panther-Amazing sense of Style, Amazing Villain, A great Cultural achievement  

2-Deadpool 2- Fantastic sense of humor, inventive fights, first big screen lgbt+ superheroes

1-Into the Spiderverse-Best animation I've seen in maybe a decade, Everything about this movie is surprisingly amazing, from the soundtrack to the character designs to the emotional resonance. This Movie can’t come out on DVD fast enough.

Top 5 Cartoons

Honorable Mention -Voltron-Disappointing Finale but 7th season had an amazing Keith/Shiro fight scene and Lotor, arguably one of the best characters in the series.

5-Rick and Morty-Not my favorite season but still smart, rewatchable, and unique episodes.

4-She Ra- Great characters and designs with the Catra/Adora conflict elevating the Series.

3-Bobs Burgers- Consistently good, funny, and relatable, My whole family enjoys it.

2-Steven Universe- Finally getting answers to alien plot, excellent art, plenty of lgbt goodness

1-Hilda-An incredibly inventive new series with a truly unique and empathetic fantasy world, adorable art, a wonderful mother-daughter relationship and some of my new favorite creature designs. The atmosphere this series creates is one I want to live in forever.

Top 5 TV Shows

Honorable Mention- Killing Eve, Like Hereditary I did not watch this until 2019, but I adored Villanelle’s strange psychopathy and the very lesbian tension between her and Eve.

Honorable Mention-The Haunting of the Hill House-Great character building episodes, neat effects, and a great building tension, an underwhelming finale brings it down a bit.

5-Stranger Things-Inferior to the 1st season but still great characters and interesting plot

4-Game of Thrones-Lots of plot contrivances but every episode was still massively entertaining.

3-Good Place-Genuinely great twist with creative ideas and a solid critique of moral philosophy

2-Dirk Gently-Batshit insane, quirky, hilarious, with absolutely amazing characters and writing.

1-Brooklyn 99-One of the best shows on TV, every episode is hilarious and heartfelt, I love every cast member. Ontop of having an amazing sense of humor, B99 is one of the most progressive shows on television, and continually address relevant issues in a tactful and good natured way.

Top 5 Anime

Honorable Mention-Zombieland Saga- a fun show with a creative spin on the idol genre, the heartfelt relations between the characters were a highlight, as was the presence of a trans idol.

5-Aggretsuko-Incredibly relatable with adorable and lovable characters.

4-Mo Dao Zu Shi-Unique setting with a great protagonist and a slow build gay romance

3-Devilman Crybaby-An unforgettable and highly enthralling experience, plus I’m gay for Miko

2-Megalo Box-Probably Deserves to be #1  for its fantastic sense of style, tension, amazingly choreographed fights, lovable protagonist and ‘Antagonist’, and incredible pacing.

1-Reincarnated Slime-This anime is just the ultimate escapist fantasy. Every week I look forward to watching the stupidly op and likable protagonist make friends with everyone he meets, build a peaceful city from scratch, overpower everyone with neat abilities, try his best to avoid conflicts, and comment on how hot everyone around him is. It's the equivalent of playing an RPG and doing every side quest you can to make everyone happy, I love it. It's just very Chill and pretty.

Top 5 Comics

Honorable Mention-Space Battle Lunchtime-Cute lgbt+ characters and fun concept, but short for now

5-Moonstruck-My ideal fantasy world with fun and vibrant fantasy designs and a highly diverse cast of lgbt+ characters, but only just beginning with a lot of room for further character development. 

4-Trust-fantastic art and an intriguing setting with a mysterious but interesting plot

3-MotorCity-Stylish protagonist with an adorable girlfriend and an interesting supernatural twist.

2-Saga-Creative and exciting space opera that introduces lots of likable characters and then kills them.

1-The Adventure Zone-My favorite Fantasy Story of all time getting translated into a visual medium. While the first Volume was not quite as good as the Podcast (Though I don’t believe that’s possible anyway), it still had much of the great humor and characters with some lovely art and a condensed story.

Top 5 Web Series

Honorable Mention- Game Grumps-Not sure if I want to count Lets Plays but this channel brings me so much joy. House Party, Doodle Doods, and the 10 Minute Power Hours were highlights.

5-Monster Pop-Great colorful character designs and complex character conflicts with ample lgbt+ content

4-Buzzfeed Unsolved-very interesting and weird events with hilarious commentary, the hosts have a great chemistry and play well off each other.

3-Their Story-My favorite lesbians, stylish, cute, and fun, wish it updated more often.

2-19 Days-Amazing slow build romances with incredibly fun characters and interactions, Grade A Homoerotic tension. 

1-Ava's Demon-Some of my favorite art and character designs in any Media, The plot is amazing and fairly unpredictable, I feel incredibly excited every time I see it has updated.

Well that’s all for now. Next time will be my favorite ships of 2018, as their were some interesting couples this year.

[mubal4]

The Haves & Have Nots

 This title may be misleading, but it captures where my mind is today, as we head back after the Thanksgiving break.  This time of year, had typically been my favorite; starting things off with Thanksgiving, family, friends, and loved ones gathering; then going into the Christmas, Hanukkah & New Year’s seasons.  As long as I can remember there was a joyful and exited feeling that had come over me for so many years.  The last few however, those feelings dissipated a bit.  Not sure why because, back east in PA, we had usually either had folks for Thanksgiving or went somewhere and we always hosted Christmas at our house. Therefore, this time of year was filled with, well, a lot of visiting, visitors, celebrations, love, craziness, you get the picture.  That said, even with these things still happening, the last couple of years I just wasn’t feeling that, well, that feeling of the holidays.  I know Robin and the girls felt it too because we discussed it.  Was it that the girls were getting older? We were getting older? Were we distracted?  We couldn’t grasp it and we just leaned into it, doing the best we could to find that joy again. Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t unhappy we just didn’t have that “holiday feeling.”  Stressors of life? Work? Training? I am sure all of these played a factor. Even last year, with being our first holiday season back in AZ, those feelings persisted.  We had loved ones in town for Thanksgiving and all the grandparents in for Christmas, not to mention all the folks we celebrated with here in Phoenix.  Again, we had a blast, but we were missing that “special feeling.”

 This year, Robin and I are making a point to find those “missing feelings.” I believe it is more about us changing our mind and how we see things more than anything else.  We get to choose how we feel right?  A couple of weeks ago, listening to a Tony Robbins podcast I heard this quote:

 “Are you spending more time focusing on what is missing or focusing on what you have?” That got me thinking a lot about the “feelings.” I do find myself thinking about what is missing.  It is not about things but about experiences and moments.  I think about what we may be doing if we were still living back in PA.  I guess maybe that FOMO, fear of missing out.  But I’ve gotten better at catching myself, and Robin does a great job of this as well, with choosing to think about what it is we do have, or the experiences we get to create now.  Of course, there are still the stressors of life, work, ventures, training, TEENAGE GIRLS……😊, but we still get to choose how we feel about it all. We are not all living in a rainbow filled, unicorn enhanced life, sometimes things will still suck but we STILL GET TO CHOOSE HOW WE FEEL!! Therefore, we’ve made it our intention this holiday season, and beyond to create those feelings and focus on what it is we are able to do, what and WHO we have in our lives, and that which we are creating.  When I heard this quote, Robin and I spoke about it and decided we are going to take advantage of this time to focus on creating those holiday feelings that we feel we missed the last few years.   What does that look like?  Not sure just yet but we are off to a great start, even today, Monday after the Thanksgiving break.  We were all moving a bit slower than a normal Monday but viewing today as a great start to an awesome week and being grateful for what we got to experience over the break.

 It started last week when are dear friends, the Budwell’s, made it out to Phoenix to spend Thanksgiving with us.  We didn’t hold back and certainly did a lot to create some awesome experiences.  We ate, drank, indulged and laughed.  We laughed a lot but did some fun stuff.  Tuesday we all went out to a favorite local brewery with stuff for the kids to do and enjoyed each other’s company.  The kids played ping pong, all weekend for that matter, cornhole, and ran around as the adults caught up on things.  Wednesday we all, ALL 😊, went for a hike and followed that up with some fun at Top Golf; never been there before but it was a blast and the kids really liked it.  We had dinner at Rustler’s Rooste that evening complete with Rattlesnake, cotton candy and balloon animals, and a slide for the kids.  When we got home, a fierce and hilarious battle of Trivial Pursuit ensued. Are stomachs hurt from how much we laughed during the game and we stayed up late continue the laughter.  Thanksgiving Day started with prepping everything then going bowling.  Yes, bowling. When there is an 8-year-old involved and two boys in the house you got to keep them busy, so we went bowling in the AM and got back for the Thanksgiving feast.  And feast we did till the point where I was in a tryptophan trance for several hours before starting up some more games for the evening.  Friday came and it was time for the Budwell’s to head home, always a tough moment, for all of us but we went out and started getting ready for Christmas with getting the tree and getting things done for the following week.  We wanted to spend Saturday and Sunday not doing much so we can start fresh today. Sort of worked but will get there in a minute.  Although there was a down moment when the Budwell’s left we reflected on their visit and all the great experiences we lived…..and laughs we had 😊!  There was some thoughts on what we may be missing back east, for a short period of time but those feelings drifted to gratitude for being able to spend the time with them over the last four days and thinking to February when we will see them again.  I don’t believe we have the ability to control those FOMO thoughts from entering but we do have control over how we feel about those thoughts and the ability to shift gears with gratitude and thankfulness.  Friday night Robin and I watched a movie while the girls did the same.  Yes, different movies and the girls were cuddle up on the futon in my office which was pretty cute to see.  Saturday was Ubaldini family football day and, after getting a run in and the day started, we spent the last full Saturday of college football enjoying the slate of games.  Saturday night, it was Robin and I cuddle on the futon watching the ASU/UA game while the girls, who had friends over, were having their fun.  😊  Sunday was planned to get the Christmas tree decorated and lights put up outside while cleaning things up after the long weekend.  Unfortunately, Isabella caught some bug and was getting sick every hour starting early in the AM.  Fortunately, after a trip to the ER, some IV and some rest, she is good to go but, and this is some of those stressors of life right!  Unplanned stuff that come up and yes, a child getting sick is one of them. We are grateful it was just a bug, that we have insurance, that there is a hospital close by, that she is feeling better.  That said and to put a happy spin on things, Alaina and I still got to put up the outside decorations and had a great time doing it.  As Bella rested last night, Alaina, Robin and I just chilled out, had dinner, and cuddled on the couch.  

 No matter what life you are living, things are going to come up that will create circumstances that are not ideal.  I am guilty at times of thinking about the suck that comes over us in those situations; rather than the good that we do have in our lives. Yes, having your kid throwing up every hour for 10 hours sucks; imagine it for her?  But, as I outlined above with what we are thankful, it was easy to change direction on that mindset.  We tend to dwell on what does suck and not reflect on what is good.  It is hard sometimes, but it is also easy.  This holiday season, we are going to work hard to create those great feelings we seem to have lost the last few years. So far, we are off to a good start.  On this Monday back from a great Thanksgiving break, we are taking each moment a step at a time and being intention in creating the feelings we want.  Here’s to you doing the same.

[shikungigi]

After getting lost in Madrid, I came back to my comfort zone for a week then headed out the next Saturday to Marseille. I was very anxious about this trip to France because it was going to be loooooong. When I say long, I mean very long. Why? Because cheap is expensive. As a newbie, I am not an expert at looking at the best flights with the shortest layovers, neither was my friend. Plus we let these flight booking sites trick us with their cookies. So much so that we later discovered that people who booked different flights months after, all got even cheaper rates and better flights. SMH. So it’s not even a matter of cheapness, it’s inexperience.

Anywho, the day came and I got relieved a bit. Etihad Airways is a cool airline with female and male cabin crew that sport very striking lipstick and perfect hair cuts respectively. And it was my first time on such a large plane. I sat next to this American girl who was quite chatty at the beginning, with some braids on her blonde hair. LOL. Total hippie. Plus since we booked these flights via Alitalia originally, I could not book seats in advance so I ended up next to the lavatories. LOL. So you keep hearing that loud vacuum flushing all the time. I can’t seem to remember what I watched during this leg. I think it was The 15:17 to Paris. I had to Google the title now. I was not sleepy yet, the best was yet to come. I got to Abu Dhabi at some minutes to 9. A few minutes into walking into the terminal, I met up with this other Kenyan who had an even longer layover, but we lost each other at the security check.

Abu Dhabi International Airport is a real swanky airport. They have poured a lot of their abundant money into making it the airport of choice for layovers. I was going to spend 6 hours here, so I decided to find the best seats in the terminal of my next flight. If I was sleepy, these would have been very helpful. I was not. Yet. I grabbed something to eat and chat up my people. I am not exactly sure what I did for the rest of the six hours. What I remember is too much a/c and people running across the terminal to their flights. I finally moved down to my gate about an hour to my flight. I was obviously starting to get real tired, so I did not like the next flight much. But hold that thought.

Real nice, right?

I think this is when I watched The Greatest Showman in my utter fatigue. And even then, I was so enraptured by the movie, even in this poor airplane quality amidst that continuous annoying drone, I cannot stop playing the soundtrack album now. A Million Dreams is playing in my ears right now, while I’m in the belly of a different drone — a hairdryer. I will not deny I watched it on and off, between dozing off, trips to the loo and munching some bits and pieces of Etihad supper. That notwithstanding, I really had to fight off my tears, an endeavour I failed at miserably. I ended up with a serious lump of pain in my throat by the end of it. If you’re into musicals or looking for a movie you can watch with little ones, I think this is it. I am definitely rewatching it in better quality soon.

Off to Fiumicino, Aeroporti di Roma (Rome) a.k.a. Leonardo da Vinci, my last and longest layover before Marseille. And the 8 hours were tortuuuuuure. I got there some minutes to 7AM, Sunday. And let us not forget crossing time zones just makes it even more confusing. Abu Dhabi is an hour ahead of us. Rome is 2 hours behind us. I think. And remember, I have not really slept since 8AM, Saturday. We all squeeze into the transfers hall which seems a bit too cramped for my liking and I already know I will not like my stay at this airport. The only flashy things that could not help me one bit were the luxury stores across Terminal E on two floors. I was in Italy, after all. Dolce&Gabbana. Pandora. Gucci. Burberry. The seats were not going to help in my sleepy misery, so I just sat there and played with my phone until my flight was finally displayed on the screens. I went through passport control as I was now really entering the Schengen area and went on to more shops and uncomfortable chairs. Try as I might, I could not sleep. So, again, I do not know what I did with those 8 hours. This is also mixed with the fact that I could have sworn I watched Modern Family for hours on Netflix but I can neither confirm this from my watch history nor from searching on Netflix. I was definitely not day-dreaming because my Google history tells me I was on Netflix all afternoon. But the other Google says Modern Family has never been on Netflix. Wacha tuachie hapo kwanza. What I am sure about is that I finally found myself inside a small Alitalia flight to Marseille in the early evening. I sat next to a polite boy who was all Bonjour on me. That was the first time I acted like I learnt French from my mum.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

———————————————————— Marseille is definitely hot. It’s a coastal town. I have never been happier to alight from anything in my life like I was when we did at Marseille. I just wanted to sleep! The immigration lines were so long I almost gave up. But since I had already got the stamp in Rome, the guy did not look at my passport twice. I ventured out into the Arrivals hall to wait for my people to get me. We headed out into the Alps (Alpes in French) some minutes after that. This is where we were going to spend most of the time in France. Destination, a little village called Saint Jacques. Why? Wedding Bells!!!!! How? All under the auspices of my dear loving friend Leilah and her very beautiful family. Just writing this almost made me tear up, so let me stop and will pick that up later. In private. Where no peering eyes are wondering why this crazy black girl is crying on a plane. LOL. I have clearly written this post for many days in different places and spaces, so don’t even try to envision my writing pattern.

So from Marseille, the capital of Provence-Alpes-Côte d’Azur region (south-East France basically), the roads are a delight. They literally pay for them highways at toll gates. Cars stick to the right here too. I will never get used to that. The drive was a feast for my sore eyes as we drew nearer to the Alps. I temporarily forgot I was tired and sleepy. My new road trip friends offered some very sweet bread too. I mean, how else was I to really know I was in France? There was a bit of a drizzle too. Darkness had covered the mountains by the time we got to the village. And that is to say a lot considering the sun goes down late. Again, a warm welcome awaited us as the family ushered us into the most ageless home I have ever walked into right next to a church. I remember walking in and commenting on how I smelt history around. And great food! And books! And French! Oh my goodness. Was I not supposed to be sleepy btw?

After the warm dinner, mamé walked us to what we would call home for the next few days. I was in awe. This was the second most antique home I had ever walked into. She showed us everything and kept apologizing because she believed this was not good enough for us. I was confused. Why was she apologizing? This was like walking through a dream for me. Like walking into one of those fairy tales I had read as a kid. Red Riding Hood, perhaps. Or living inside the set of Once Upon A Time. Just look at these pics and tell me I am wrong?

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Anyway, I finally got over my awe and slept like a log. I think we woke up at 11 the next day. On a Monday. I mean, what else would I want in life than to wake up like that and open wooden shutters into the most awe-inspiring view of the Alps outside. Sigh. I want to go back.

Monday was chill, with more bread, cheese, chicken and sausages. We had lunch outside in the luscious green compound outside the main house. Then we attended mass in the church. Legitimately the most ancient church I have walked into. The experience was made all the more exotic because most of the mass was in French. I could not wait for the next day, wedding day!

And it came! A beautiful summer morning with everyone getting ready for the occasion. Leilah looked exquisite! She has always had a way with elegant gowns. Speaking of elegance, the wedding was the epitome of admirable simple-elegance. Sorry, what did you say? I can’t make up words? Not today. It made me rethink my whole wedding dream. I do think that the fact that we were already in a naturally beautiful place that needed no expensive and unnecessary decor contributed to this. And the people who streamed in to share in this joy. What else do you really need? Nothing. It was a lovely ceremony which included the baptism of the couple’s adorable baby girl. You should have seen me singing along to French hymns! 😀 You would have thought I had been there for months.

After the church ceremony, we spent some time out in the sun on some drinks and snacks. We then headed out to the wedding party. It was an intimate affair, not much different from the Kenyan ones we know with speeches and good food. Let me not talk too much about this from here. I will let the pictures do that for us.

The evening was wonderful! I never thought I could dance in public until this night. I guess I was still in a dream. We danced for hours in the open to all kinds of tunes, from African to pop, to reggae and samba. Suffice to say, my limbs were in pain the next day. I got over that real quick though as we headed out for a little hike in the Alps that afternoon. The views here are to die for, even when you’re not into climbing stuff. Worry not. You can just come here to stare.

The weather has a funny way of communicating, because after all the sun, the Alps decided it was time for rain on Thursday. So we tucked in and spent the rest of the day just making some Kenyan noise and eating. I could have sworn I had gained many kilos during my stay here but I actually didn’t.

We headed back to Marseille, with a short stopover at Gap. A little town that left nothing imagination, especially after experiencing dreamy Alps, but I did love these!!!

I got to experience Marseille for a few hours when the temperatures had dipped a little this time. The sights from Basilique Notre Dame de la Garde were amazing, including the sunset.

I also got to feast on the biggest burger I have seen in my life. Generally the short experience in France encouraged me in my quest to learn French. And to experience the love of a people brought together by love that supersedes all the many unnecessary complications we insist on bringing upon ourselves. The next time I am back there (because there will be a next time), I will have more to say about the city. Or maybe even drop by Paris. No, not maybe. Definitely. By then, I will be a master of French.

For now, I bow out, with a dreamy smile on my

&nface. À bientôt, mon amis!

An Alpine Affair After getting lost in Madrid, I came back to my comfort zone for a week then headed out the next Saturday to Marseille.

[mywrittenpath]

December 1O 2O19

WOW! What a great past few days! Where to start....

Friday I picked Jess up from Baltimore airport. We came home, she met Papa and Madi. We went to the new Whole Foods for a delicious green smoothie topped with rose petals and walked around admiring all the great products they have in here. Jess was impressed and confused by the ‘city grocery store’. Then I had to take her to unique. She found a few great things and now when she wears them she will remember this trip. Next we went to Loving Hut for a yummy vegan dinner. I got the curry which is always so good, I think everything in that restaurant its pretty amazing. For the rest of the night we just hung out in my room, drinking wine and talking. Jess is definitely my favorite person to talk with. I appreciate her ability to articulate her observations and perspective so clearly - I admire it quite a but actually and hope to reach that point some day. 

The next morning I woke, wrote, and read a bit. When she woke up I took her to experience the glory of Anitas breakfast burritos - YUM! Then we went back to the house and talked some more, waiting for Mason to arrive. Upon his arrival we all, including Rora, headed to Scotts Run. Jess was surprised by the nature that is just 10 minutes from my house. She said she thought I was just trying to convince her of DC’s awesomeness when I explained it last spring. But yes, pleasantly surprised we have such a thing in the midst of this concrete. After our hike we went to Safeway to pick up wine. We did some wine tasting and picked a rose made with peach juice. I had frozen peaches at home so we use that to chill. For almost two hours Jess, Mason, Father, and myself gathered in the kitchen sharing stories over wine and beer. My dad was SO talkative. He had so many stories to share. Ones about his underground layers him and his friends dug to party and drink in the middle of McLean at age fifteen. Stories about how they use to terrorize police on their dirt bikes. The story of my dad being late for his dentist appointment but ended up in a police chase ending with him throwing his dirt bike into the bushes and hiding - only to pull up next to that same cop a month later at a red light. It gave him so much joy to share those stories and filled my heart to hear all about them. It also made me so happy that two people I love and appreciate so much got to be witness to my father sharing so much of himself. After that we all headed to the shack for drinks and dinner. All that gathered were Jess, Mason, Father, Stephen, Erik, Erika, Connor, Shelly, Stephen & his girlfriend, Bill, and myself. I was so happy to share that night with so many of the people I hold dear. I was so happy to introduce Jess to everyone while they all gathered to celebrate her. She said often that she felt so special, which I am so glad because she is! We all had so much fun. I don't think I’ve ever seen my dad that happy in my adult life. My dad (and mother) have lived such hard lives and they deserve to experience the joys of connecting, sharing space, socializing, and just having genuine fun. I feel like with all their depression they have lost sight of that which causes the cycle to perpetuate. I often just wish my parents would come out and be a part of my life so this really just filled my heart. I feel like I could go on and on about this night because of all the things that made me so happy about it but I’ll move on to the next day!

Sunday morning we all woke up hung over - SURPRISE. Intentions for leaving to DC around 10am flew right out the door. Jess, Mason, Stephen, and myself finally made it out the door and on our way around 2. We went to the Museum of Natural History which made Jess SO SO happy. She loves that place so much and I felt bad we only had a few hours to spend there because I know she could spend the whole day reading and viewing everything that it has to offer. After the museum we took the metro back all feeling terrible and hungry still. We went to Masala Indian food restaurant and had a great dinner. We came home, Jess got to hold Kiesha and chat with my mum for a little. We all hung in my room and talked for a bit and then I fell asleep on Mason. I remember waking throughout the night and being pleasantly surprised that Mason was sleeping next to me because he hadn't for a few nights. I love his sleeping face :)

Monday morning we woke, Mason left and I took Jess back to the airport. Her visit was perfect, she is perfect, I can't be more blessed by the people I have in my life. I went home and got ready for my very first massage interview which had been seriously haunting me for a week. I just told myself I wasn't nervous and went for it. I was pretty shaky filling out my paperwork, staff was very friendly and accepting/understanding - I gave the worst massage of my life. And then I got hired - ____- SOOOOO yay here we go. I get to be a massage therapist - the thing I went to school for two years ago. 

I’m feeling super confident and proud. I’m feeling focused and ready to transform myself yet again because life is this beautiful dance of transformation. Went to yoga this morning with Shelly and I’m really wanting to go back to it because I think it is INCREDIBLY important for my mental health and also for my job. I’ve been doing pretty good with what I’m eating, sitting here at Masons waiting for him to return from work with my computer, books, vegan chili, and blackberries.  I had the realization driving here today that my mental state will directly affect my income. So now more than ever my career relies on a healthy body and mind. The healthier I am the better I will be at my craft, the better I am the more money I can make and the more people I can help which will then return full circle affecting my health and wellbeing. So here we go, cheers to this new chapter in my life. Love to all, health to all, and clarity to all - byeeee.

[marriagebase]

Mountains And Storms: My Adventure in Patagonia

“There are still places in the world that you can go and experience absolute silence. Stillness of nature.”

My last actual holiday (outside of work) was back in New Zealand. All too often I find myself dreaming of the mountains and craving that feeling of standing on the edge of the world, most likely with tear-stained cheeks. It is hard to disconnect from work and take a ‘holiday.’ It is hard to consciously make a decision to put my camera down and separate the two, to allow myself to just be. I’ve spent countless hours over the years photographing this sublime world. Often choosing adventure filled destinations where I simply couldn’t just leave my camera behind. And so, the cycle continues.

I remember last year, I was standing with my friend Will Patino in Port Macquarie in New South Wales, Australia. We were on a job together and in the midst of one of our many deep life chats. Will told me about his upcoming solo trip to Patagonia to scout for one of his workshops. Before he even finished saying the words, I interrupted with ‘I REALLY WANNA GO THERE!’  Patagonia: a dream destination for me. That ‘why don’t you just come to the workshop?’ conversation turned into me packing my bags less than a year later and leaving with two people I consider my dear friends, work colleagues and some of the people I admire most in this world, Will and Lauren Bath. But nothing could have really prepared me for the adventure, or rollercoaster, that was my trip to Patagonia…

  First stop was Buenos Aires, otherwise known as BA, and considered the gateway to South America. Lauren and I left the Gold Coast, boarded via Brisbane, onwards to Auckland and made the final route to BA with Air New Zealand’s business class.  I love Air New Zealand as an airline and experiencing business class felt like a real treat and the beginning of a real holiday. For all the traveling I do with my job, I never fly business and it was nice to arrive in a country and feel rested, at least until the onset of jet-lagged knocked us all around. I’ve been to Buenos Aires before on my way to Columbia, but it was a stopover and not somewhere I had a chance to explore. I’ve written so many times how I am not a city girl, but honestly BA surprised me.

After a few days of incredible food, nightlife and the occasional nigh time tango, it was time for us to move onto our final destination. Our time in BA alone was worth the trip alone, however the adventure was just beginning….

We caught our flight from BA to El Calafate. I couldn’t sleep the night before, likely still jet-lagged, but mostly excited. I had my head stuck to the window the entire plane flight (sit on the right hand side going down) as the tears literally rolled down my cheeks at my first glimpse of the Patagonian Andes piercing through the thick layer of clouds. I couldn’t believe my eyes at the turquoise blue of the glacial water. The scale here, from the sky, was expansive.

When picking up the car that Will had hired for the next 10 days of adventure I was dancing around in the car park, freezing already but unable to control every particle inside me screaming and moving for joy.

P A T A G O N I A.

South America’s Gem; an undiscovered paradise for adventurous trekkers. Where nature is wild, remote, barren. Space so expanding, that silence engulfs it.

After a night in the cute little town of El Calafate, our epic crew ( Will, Lauren, Davey, Ben, Grace, Nick) set off around 3am, bleary-eyed and yet still hopeful Patagonia’s notorious weather would hold out.

After the three hour drive, I found myself away from the group, standing alone at the top of the road towards El Chaltén, literally almost getting blown over by the sheer force of the Patagonian wind, left speechless by the explosion of pink in the sky as the sun rose behind me. Facing the towering granite peaks of the Patagonian Andes with my heart exploding, I caught my first, very brief glimpse of Mt Fitz Roy before the clouds swallowed it up.

Little did I know that would be the first and only glimpse of the infamous peaks that soar over El Chaltén.

I was prepared for all the elements. But I wasn’t prepared for this…

The worst window of weather in 7 years.

Some of the most beautiful mountains in the world, the most vast, incredible landscapes, those iconic mountains I’d grown up dreaming of, the vibrant turning autumn colours were all just out of reach. The roads were flooded and closed, although we tried a few hikes despite the weather, the chill got into our bones and our clothes soaking wet.

Disheartened. Devastated. Discouraged.

We left the town of El Chaltén without so much as unrolling our sleeping mats, my camping food uneaten, my tent still inside my suitcase – completely dry….

Photographically speaking, I’ve crafted a life by making sure I was in the right place at the right time, and I’d dreamed of visiting this place since I first laid eyes on an image of it. That image was burning in the back of my brain as I stood exactly where it was created and could not see a single thing. There were tears, but of frustration this time. For two weeks leading up to this trip, I was looking at stories being shared of picture perfect weather, so this felt like some sort of cosmic message, a form of universal rejection.

It was another lesson on letting go. I firmly believe that expectation is the root of all evil. If you can learn to let go and leave your expectations behind, that is when the real adventure starts. No this wasn’t what I pictured, it wasn’t even close to what I dreamed of, but I was happy. What a privilege it is to have the ability to travel and explore a new country, to open yourself up to new enriching experiences and create lifelong memories with new hearts.

Travel is about the experiences, about finding a shift in your perspective and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Although what I came to Patagonia for did not eventuate in full, it is not all doom and gloom.

The picture I just painted through my disappointment in the circumstances, and the emotional rollercoaster that was brewing in my heart and mind, is not the only story of our trip. I often ponder the detriments of social media’s highlight reel and how I may contribute to only sharing the final or “hero” images, as always I want to be transparent about all emotions – about the life of one that is on the road.

That week I met some of my idols. I was in a small town with world class photographers and there were only a few cafes and restaurants open (due to shoulder season) so I ended up at the same places, sharing meals and sitting with the same glass of Malbec. These very photographers paved the way to do what I do and I have spent countless hours pouring over their work, studying and learning from them and now I was there, in real life, having a conversation (about the weather) with them.  Wow!

We were a determined group and spent our days attempting to trek in the rain. Even in thick overcast weather the autumn leaves still burned so irresistibly vibrant, we saw Canyon Falls rushing and when it began snowing around us it felt like we were in some kind of wonderland.  How lucky we were to be there. Just to spend hours waiting in the cold for the smallest window and chance to see an opening in the sky. I’ll never take the sky for granted again, and I didn’t realize I ever had until this experience.

And yet, still the story was far from over..

Upon arrival at the breath-taking Perito Moreno Glacier we were greeted by the thundering echo of a chunk of the electric blue glacial tongue breaking off the 70m face, crumbling and plummeting down causing waves bigger than 20m below. Right place, right time? I think we just found it.

The tears were frozen to my cheeks. I wore a smile that spanned from one ear to another. We all stood together in disbelief, simultaneously exclaiming a series of “WOAH” whilst holding onto our heads, hearts and each other. The significance of this moment I will remember forever.

* For those interested in some nature froth: The Perito Moreno Glacier is in a state of equilibrium meaning it’s advancing as fast as it’s declining. This ice field is the third largest reserve of fresh water in the world (only 3 % of all water on our planet is fresh). Glaciers are a climate regulator, which means they keep our beautiful planet cool by reflecting back 45 to 85 percent of the sunlight.

From here we leaned forward to the next crazy adventure and began driving the 6 hours south towards Chile, where it felt as though our luck had started to change before our very eyes.

Crossing through the border security was an event, or interesting spectacle, with seven photographers all carrying a camera bag and suitcase each. However, as we stepped foot into my 30th country I recall feeling an overwhelming sense of immense gratitude. I had unintentionally made it to 30 countries before turning 30. Over the years I have worked really hard, sacrificed a lot and have been incredible lucky at the same time. I wrote an Instagram story thanking those of you who follow my journey (and my little feet) around the world. I truly feel so grateful for you.

Good road-trips often evoke buried emotions; I was deep in thought contemplating life and why I do what I do despite the loneliness, sleeplessness and stress at times. There is of course the undeniable connection with nature and love of sharing the beauty of the natural world. Deep in thoughts of the full circle of nature to our very existence, wandering down into the life I have created through photography and the interplay with seeking the light – for even on the gloomiest of days there is light. And then, there it was – the light – towering before me in all its ancient wild and rugged glory; the Patagonia Andes of Torres Del Paine National Park.

A simple reminder, a gentle nudge from the universe that we travel for more than just photography. It is all about those moments that take your breath away.

I am left, again, feeling breathless, humbled.

    This is everything I ever dreamed of.  Writing this right now sends a shiver up my spine as my body erupts in goosebumps thinking of those majestic glaciers and mysteriously carved mountains, which were formed over 12 million years ago. It felt like it would be completely natural to see a dinosaur stroll past me (of the herbivore kind of course!)

The emptiness was impressive, those jagged peaks and the ruthless terrain, pristine turquoise rivers; I was worlds away from anything I have ever known and I couldn’t have been more captivated.

I’ll forever cherish the memories of us here watching the sunset together by the edge of the lake, trekking by star light and opening up to the most unexplainable beauty I have ever seen. Beauty that can only be seen with the eye and felt with the heart.

Those days consumed me. Everywhere I looked was something larger than life, be it in the smile of a stranger along the path, the waterfalls, the autumn flora, the cheekiness of the infamous locals Guanaco (Chilean Alpacas) or just me feeling so small beneath the most dramatic scenes on the planet.

The Three Towers hike will remain a mental and physical challenge that I proudly accomplished. Due to the weather, this trail only opened for one day in the 3 weeks prior, so we slept under the stars and woke up at 3:30am to take the chance for sunrise. An 18km return hike and 4 hr steep incline was among the most challenging hikes of my life. It was my first snow hike and at times I was falling into waste deep snow, laughing hysterically, cold and soaking wet. But we made it and right on sunrise.

Looking back now I’m still speechless, the scale of what I witnessed is indescribable. Those three striking granite Towers above the glacial lake are higher than two of the tallest buildings in the world stacked on top of each other.

It changed me.

  When I really fall in love with a place, I struggle to look at the photos…for months. I feel like I will never be able do something so beautiful justice. I struggle to write about it, or even to collect my thoughts. How do you capture the way your heart feels like it’s going to burst through your chest? To put emotions into a single image? How does one convey the feeling when your eyes become wide, child-like, and fill up with tears that don’t break, as your smile is frozen breathlessly across your face and your legs are quivering, burning so deeply, but every part of your being is SO alive.

Travel turns you into a storyteller. It opens your heart and mind in more ways than one. It invites you to seek the beauty, find the light and never let go of hope.

To me, it’s a chance to learn about yourself, who you are and what you want from life. It allows you to see how different the world is and to put your life in perspective. When you remove yourself from your life back home, you’re able to take time to reflect and see things in your life a little differently.

Going to leave you with my favourite quote – “To live is the rarest thing in the world Most people exist that is all “ – Oscar Wilde

Don’t stop dreaming, don’t stop exploring. Don’t stop living.

A version of this blog post originally appeared on Melissa Findley’s website. 

Follow Melissa Findley on her Instagram and Facebook. 

  The post Mountains And Storms: My Adventure in Patagonia appeared first on Resource.