#hii i hope this works! if youre not feeling the vibe i can totally write you something else just lmk!!

[virtuesuncounted]

startercall liked by @popcultr , inspired by this.

Matty moved slowly, trying to sit up and hang his legs off the bed while keeping his upper body as straight as it could be. Everything hurt, but he had a diner to run and health insurance that had expired, so he just needed to get out of here.

He had his back to the door when he heard it open, and even though he grunted in pain, he looked back carefully to see which nurse or doctor was coming in to tell him off for moving.

Except that it wasn't medical staff. "Jesus fuck," he muttered under his breath at the sight of them. How did they even know he was here?

[vanesycho]

hiya!! I'm not on tumblr much so idk if you'll remember me or see this but i stopped by randomly to thank you for writing your "chan is for the girls who" post and I saw your one for the others recently and just wanted to say how beautiful they all were and how appreciated they were.

i had a quick question for you, though: what's your favourite piece of work that you've written? or what's a piece of your own work you wish more people would read? I would love to give them a read sometime.

thanks! have a great day!!

hii thank you so much for your nice comment and your question. you're so kind🥹🤍

bf!jaehyun x gf!reader x roommate!jeno [nsfw] 2,6k

• I usually don't go back and read the smut fics I write because when I look at them they become cringe, but this was fun to write, it's a fic that I think I did a good job of even though I was still in the early stages of my blog.

jaehyun x reader [age gap, nsfw] 2,5k

• The second part of this fic was requested a lot and although I didn't think of doing it at first, the fic that came out after that was honestly beyond my expectations, honestly I like writing age gap, it's fun hehe🤭

friends to lovers with shotaro [fluff] 1,9k

• 'FLOP AHH FIC'. I had a lot of fun writing this but unfortunately it didn't get that much attention ;( there was no reason actually it was just nice to write and after I finished it I thought I did a really good job but judging by the notes, I could be wrong lol

seungcheol x reader [fluff] 1,1k

• A fic about the reader and her dad's coworker Seungcheol getting closer after her being forced to attend her father's business dinner.

Even though it's the second fic on my blog, it's still a fic that I think I did a good job on, is it rookie? Yes, but still, when I look at it, it's still one of the ones I think is good, even though it's my first time writing a fic.

bangchan x reader [fluff] 1k

• I wrote it on a night when I was having trouble sleeping and had nightmares every day. It may sound ridiculous, but that's why it has a special place in my heart. Bangchan is probably the one I feel the safest with out of all the idols, so I usually like to write fics with angst and light fluff about him.

friends to lovers with jeno [fluff] 2,8k

• Another fic that I had fun writing. I especially enjoyed the parts with Jaemin, he just gives off a vibe of a friend who could totally be a matchmaker.

seungcheol x reader [age gap, nsfw] 2,3k

• As I said, I like writing age gap. Instead of the bartender reader and Seungcheol, I actually first thought of this idea with Jaehyun. It had been rotting in my notes for a long time, and then I thought it would suit Seungcheol too, so I finally put the idea into writing.

camboy!san x reader [nsfw] 3,8k

• Honestly I had nothing in mind when I added this to kinktober. When I started writing it, things happened completely out of the blue and to be honest it was better than I expected. It was going to be a fic that used more toys because San was a camboy, but honestly I felt a bit embarrassed...idk why.

bangchan is for the girls who...

• A short headcanon that came to my mind at an unrelated moment and after writing it I said 'what did I just write?'

The reason I actually added this here is because of the reactions I got back from people. I can say that I was surprised after realizing how emotional and loving many people got. It just saddens me to see that some people really need love but don't get it, everyone deserves to be loved and valued.

It was a headcanon that took off when I least expected it, so thank you all so much for your support🥹🤍🤍🤍

yeah that's it..I hope to write better ones, if you have any other my fics that you enjoy reading, you can write them too, thank youuu🫶🏻🫶🏻

[simpforchuchu]

I meant dating head cannons sorry

Sameoka Shoji | general dating hcs

a/n: Hii! I struggled with this one :D Writing general hcs are more difficult than i expected  kfkdkf Here is your request, i hope you like it 🤗💕

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: none

• Shoji is very calm, cool, and smart.

•  He is very loyal and devoted to those he loves.We know the only reason he's in that alliance is because of his friends.

•  That's why I think he's actually a pretty kind-hearted person

•  Someone who is outspoken, not afraid of fights, does not like injustice and meanness

•  I don't think he would like someone too childish.

•  Someone who is fun and energetic will make him happy but honestly I don't think he can date with someone who is childish or crybaby.

•  I imagine the person who could impress him would be someone strong

•  A partner with a strong character

•  Doesn't need to be physically strong, prefers someone strong with ideas, stance and herself

•  He will always be there for you for physical strength

•  He's not the type to be silly or excited just because he likes someone.

•  -even if he gets excited, no one will understand it, he is someone who hides his feelings well-

•  But if he really likes someone, he's not afraid to say it.

•  If you confess, that's totally okay too. 

• I think he would be quite happy with someone he believes truly loves him.

•  He is not afraid to be himself next to his lover.

• I think he usually doesn't want to talk because he finds people stupid and a waste of time.Or because he can't have fun with them.

•  That's why his girlfriend will be one of his best friends

•  He is actually pretty sweet and funny

•  -He's definitely not afraid to show it to you-

•  I think when you laugh at the funny things he tells or the jokes he makes, he will watch you with a smile

•  He gives me a good chef vibe, even if you don't know how to cook it's okay because he does.He wants to make sure you are well fed.That's why he feeds you with his frequent meals.

•  Even if you don't know how to cook, even the simplest thing you cook for him will make him happy. 

• Because you worked hard.

•  He is not one to forget special days.Simple but very meaningful gifts. 

• Maybe something you've wanted for a long time, maybe a toy that you talked about from your childhood?  He always finds the gifts that will make you happiest.

•  I think he often gives small gifts, not just on special occasions.

•  He still hides that little flower you plucked in the park and put in his hair in his favorite manga

•  He may seem cold and scary on the outside, but I'm sure that he always looks at you with compassion and love.

•  He has a pretty good style. Have you seen his cardigans and jackets?  Definitely someone to wrap you with them in cold weather

•  In fact, they often leave small candies or chocolates in his jacket pockets, yes for you.

•  I don't think he likes sweets too much, so he always gives you the big piece.

•  This boy is fighting with his hands in his pockets.  Considering he's pretty strong, I don't think he's easily injured.But if something like this happens, he will hide it from you. 

• He doesn't want to see you upset.

•  He doesn't lie easily, he knows there's always a second way for everything

•  He's not the type to date if he's not really in love with someone so he doesn't care anybody. 

• You are his one and only

•  I think he likes to listen to music so he always carries his earphones in his pocket. 

• He likes to listen to music together while you lean on his shoulder.

•  He's pretty gentle.He tries to do everything he can during your period.He's not one to be afraid to search if he doesn't know.He just wants to make you feel better

•  He makes me think like he's mommy's boy so he will tell his mother about you

•  Of course, he is not someone who likes to give a lot of details, but even when he says your name, he will not be able to prevent his smile.

•  He's surprisingly good at taking care of sick people. 

• His soup is very good and he knows well which medicine to use.

•  If you have a fever, he will definitely put you under that cold shower.

•  He's usually someone who doesn't like to talk about his problems, but if one day things get too heavy, he won't hesitate to cry on your shoulder. 

• He cries silently, hugging tight, and he looks pretty heartbreaking.

•  He's tall, he loves you hugging his waist or hugging your shoulders from behind

•  It's a slow-paced relationship, but I believe it will form a pretty strong bond.

HnL taglist : @straysugzhpe @tiddly-winx

[woozis-boy]

Hii. I just came across your blog and I have a couple questions..

How old were you when you realized you were a regressor? Because I think I might be one, but I’m only fifteen so maybe I’m too young to regress. And how do you know when you slip? Because some times when I’m tired I get giggly and babble but idk what that really means.

And whenever I read age fics about kpop groups, the reader always regresses with a member or their cg but I don’t have one. Do you find it hard to regress when alone? And how do you know how old you are when in little space?

I know I have a lot of questions but I’m scared and confused and I’ve never talked to anyone about it so I was hoping I could talk to you.

But I love you find so much comfort in Woozi, I do too, he makes me feel safe and protected☺️

hey there!! I'm so glad I made you feel safe enough to ask all this, I hope I can help you out.

my journey as a regressor, I think I was doing it for a long time before I made the connection and before I even knew what it was. I only admitted it to myself that I regress coming up on two years ago now, but I was writing agere fanfiction back in 2018, and de-aging fanfic probably about 13 years ago. The first time I came across anything agere related was when I was 15-ish, so about your age. I'm 27 now. But I think I have some foggy memories of being much younger than that and showing signs of regressing. I've seen other age regressors that are younger than you and active in the community, too. Obviously there's a limit to how young you can be to regress to certain ages (You can't regress to being mentally 8 when you are physically 8 lol) and I don't know how young you go but I doubt that's a problem here haha.

For me, I can tell when I'm regressing by how I feel and think. I feel giddy and bubbly in a way I don't when I'm big, and always kinda pouty. And I have a bit of a lisp struggling with R's and L's, and my balance is worse, so I'm wobbly. I tend to want to curl up in someone's arms and get cuddles and just be held and doted on and loved... But I don't have a caregiver, either. So I settle for daydreams. Lots of them. A lot of them with Seventeen and Woozi and Joshua giving me the parental love I never got as a kid, and the safety I never had.

Honestly, a lot of figuring out my age is just vibes and a gut feeling. Sometimes it's easier, like if I want a sippy, or I want to run around outside and play. But most of the time I just play around in my head with how I feel calling myself certain ages and figure it out on what feels right.

It can be challenging to regress on my own, especially if I'm stressed from work (these last couple of weeks have been brutal tbh), so admittedly sometimes I have to calm myself down with big-me techniques like meditating or something in order to be able to indulge in my main coping mechanism hahaha. And sometimes I don't even regress at all, despite my best efforts. But focusing on just trying for a little bit even helps me relax some!

It's okay that you're scared about this. I was too and I think that's why it took me like 10 years to admit I was doing it! And even then, buying my first pacifier was terrifying. Letting myself try intentionally regressing was the scariest thing, and if I hadn't have been mid-panic attack and desperate for relief, who knows if I ever would have! But it's going to all be okay, and YOU are going to be okay. If it helps, it helps, and if it doesnt, it doesn't, and that's okay.

All this is from my perspective of doing it as a coping mechanism and reclaiming a childhood lost to bad things, but if you're doing it for fun or just because it feels good, that's okay too! That's why I regress most of the time tbh. It's so fun and relaxing to just kick back and color with my paci and some Blues Clues. Half of the reason I'm looking forward to moving out is because I'll be able to regress whenever I want and not have to hide it. So whatever your reason for regressing, totally valid. You don't even need a reason!

I hope this has helped in any way 🥺 Feel free to message me whenever you need or if you have more questions! I may be a tiger cub when I'm tiny but I can be a papa bear when I'm big, so I'll be happy to help you with whatever you need 😊

(Also yeah! Safe and protected is also exactly how I feel about Woozi 🥺 I call him eomma in my headspace for a reason lol. I'm sooo glad you get it!!!)

[teamsasukes]

hii! i stumbled across your blog and really love it. you are i think the only person on the internet who is Correct about naruto i find myself agreeing with everything you have said on this silly site (you could say that, i rb a lot of shit from u) but i came here to ask how do you actually deal with the wrongness of people? i really want to mind my business and let them be completely blind but i just can’t, i’m a contrarian at my core. but i realise it’s pointless, the naruto fandom has (and i’m including even naruto fans who are not on the internet) hallucinations about a lot of things that never happened (or the contrary) and i just don’t get it. how do you deal with it?

[i hope it’s coherent enough i’m bothered by that one guy who commented on a post saying that naruto did more for sasuke than sakura ever did she just cries and summon naruto. i admit it these things go under my skin]

anyway have a nice day <3

hey omg thank you so much!! i pride myself on having 100% correct opinions on naruto😌

jokes aside though, yeah the naruto fandom has been around for so long that i sometimes feel it's gotten to the point where widespread fandom jokes supersede canon. i only got into naruto about a year ago so it was really jarring to see that fandom perceptions on certain characters and pairings were often wayyy different than what i'd read on the page. and frankly naruto's writing is a little messy, particularly towards the end, so i can't say that my interpretation is entirely faithful to the text either. i'm just here to vibe

i totally understand the inclination to oppose every bad take but also i think naruto is popular enough that you can find at least a handful of people who mostly share the same perspective on it as you. it can take a while to curate your online space but remaining in that sphere of people has made my experience in the fandom a lot more enjoyable!! that's not to say that you can't engage in any discourse or whatever, though i feel like there needs to be a certain amount of common ground for any meaningful discussion to occur. any time i do want to address something controversial i just do it on my own blog. but yeah, that's what's worked for me!

i hope you have a good one <3

[veliseraptor]

Hii! How are you? Hope the new year is treating you well

Love your Jiang Cheng/Meng Yao/Xue Yang everything, they are all excellent characters (especially JC my beloved)

Wanted to ask why you don't like Nie Mingjue? (Totally genuine btw, I'm mostly indifferent towards him but I like hiw tou do character analysis and am curious?)

Happy new year and take care :D

oh boy, okay. I waffled for a while about responding to this only because I tend to...avoid wading into things that might get me in trouble, and this feels like something that could get me in trouble, because I'm talking about my (negative) feelings on a relatively popular character and that can provoke some pretty intense responses.

but I don't really want to foster that impulse, at least not all the time, and I try to be fair when I talk about these things, so, hey, might as well. under a cut for anyone who doesn't want to read the following (counts) nine paragraphs of rambling about this subject

first off I feel like I should say that it probably seems like I dislike Nie Mingjue because he comes into conflict with Jin Guangyao, and while that isn't not true, characters being in conflict with each other does not preclude me liking both of them. I mean, I would hope that was obvious.

I think the biggest reason me and Nie Mingjue do not vibe is actually - and this occurred to me as I was writing this response - the same reason that I used to dislike Stannis Baratheon back when I was active in the A Song of Ice and Fire fandom. (Not so much anymore, mostly because now I just find him kind of funny. Sorry, Stannis.) Namely: he's inflexible and utterly convinced of his own rightness/righteousness.

One of my least favorite qualities in a person is self-righteousness, and while that can work for me in a character it very much doesn't here, I think because it comes with that inflexibility. Nie Mingjue's sense of morality and order is rigid with very little room for his judgment being affected by circumstance or external context. To him, those considerations are irrelevant at best and viewed as excuses at worst.

I'm someone who is, meanwhile, allergic to universal statements, particularly universal statements of good/bad, evil/righteous, etc. I don't like them, I'm incredibly wary of them, and while, again, me disliking these things irl doesn't necessarily preclude enjoying them in a character, it is going to be at least somewhat of a barrier. I feel like it would be less of one here, honestly, if I didn't feel like fandom often endorses Nie Mingjue's perspective on this, as opposed to acknowledging it for what I think it is actually in the text; I have more I could say on this but I'm already writing an essay so I'll just note that I think the fact that Nie Mingjue's corpse can't distinguish between Jin Ling and Jin Guangyao is thematically important.

I don't need a character's morality to align with mine to like them, obviously. The greater crime is finding a character frustrating or irritating, and that's what this particular quality of Nie Mingjue's does to me.

"But what about Xiao Xingchen," I can hear somebody saying. "Doesn't he have the same rigid perspective?" Yes, arguably; his also breaks horribly over the duration of the story, and that's the part of his arc that I find compelling! I find Xiao Xingchen most interesting when his initial understanding of the world has been irrevocably changed and he has to reckon with the fact that justice is not as simple as he thought it would be.

I also - and I know how this is going to sound, I feel like - do not vibe with characters who really strongly believe in state-supported violence. I don't care if characters kill people - the more the better! murder all you like, my darlings! - but I do care if they're advocating the death penalty from a position of political power/authority. Which is actually not a distinction I'd necessarily realized was important to me, but apparently it is. As far as my fictional taste goes: personal violence is fine. State violence is not. I'm sure there are exceptions here (there usually are) but it is generally true that the more violence comes from a position of authority/power in the sense of "this is structurally supported by some form of government/systematic structure", the more I'm going to feel badly about it and the less kindly I am going to feel toward the character in question.

Nie Mingjue is very, very invested in state-supported violence and very eager to dole it out on a personal basis. We see it with his almost killing Xue Yang while Xue Yang is on trial; we see it with Jin Guangyao, multiple times. "Well, they were guilty!" Yeah, I know, that's not the point. The line Nie Mingjue draws between legitimate/illegitimate violence doesn't work for me.

There's also some other stuff that's more fandom-related around the fanon characterization Nie Mingjue often gets that frustrates me because of the way I feel like it increasingly departs from the text, which has (as usual) more of an impact on my feelings about the original character than it perhaps should. Probably because I feel like it's such a misreading of the point of his character. Everyone in fandom is extrapolating from the character on the page/screen - lord knows I do it. But I do feel like I have a limit that I hit where that extrapolation feels like it's reading against the text and what the text is saying, and/or making them a "type" built on a generalized mold, and that's where my patience really runs out.

anyway this has all been very wordy and probably unnecessarily harsh but...I think some of it was useful for me in terms of thinking out just why, even beyond fandom-related frustrations, Nie Mingjue was never a character I could care about or like.

[everybloom]

Hii! How are you? Do you know SF9? May I request some Inseong being a liiiiitle bit jealous of your friendship with Zuho (or other member of your choice) so he tries to show you how much he's better than his groupmate and you can't find no one like him (I see him as having a huge praise kink plus a service top, and he's always hugging/kissing the members so he's clearly touch starved)

If you don't write for them it's totally ok! You can just write with another idol of your preference :)

Heey, sorry it took so long, I like to do a lot of research before writing about a group I'm not used to (I did an astrological chart reading of both of them lol), I hope you like what I have here!

Your boyfriend wanted so much for you to have a good relationship with the other guysin his group, encouraging and taking you out drinking with them, it worked very well, everyone was very friendly and accepted you as a new part of the family. Just a few months ago you got closer to Zuho than the others, the same interests and sense of humorbrought you together in an amazing friendship, you used to go out together every week and make FaceTime calls when you couldn't be together. At first this was well appreciated by Inseong, since he had insisted on this bond, but as the days went by the boy realized that his heart was slowly getting tighter every time he saw them together.

He had always valued open communication within their relationship, but this time the subject seemed silly to him, and he was too embarrassed to just say that he was jealous. He tried several times to arrange dates or just Netflix nights so that you could clear your plans with Zuho, but you always respected your word and told him that you would make it up to him later. And indeed you did, whether it was watching as many movies as he wanted the next day, going to all the restaurants he wanted, or giving him all the love you had through wet kisses and mind-blowing sex. In those moments, he would be so wrapped up in that love that he wouldn't even remember the jealousy that once tormented him.

This delicious feeling didn't take long to pass when he saw you on a call with your group mate, or you getting ready to go out with him, he wanted to hold you and pin you to the bed, kiss you until you chose him to stay, after all only he would kiss you like that. He then decided that he would make you an amazing dinner, cook your favorite dish even though he didn't have the best cooking skills, buy some flowers while you were away, and make sure to make everything perfect for the two of you.

So he went to your place since doing it in the dorm would be a mess, tied your apron around his waist and started cooking pretending to know what he was doing in an attempt to incorporate the vibe. When he finished the food he lined up the plates, cutlery, cups, and napkins, smiled proudly at his work and arranged the flowers in the vase on the American countertop, sat down on the couch to wait. Suddenly remembering something, he ran to your room to look for a scented candle that took its place in the center of the table, now he sat on the sofa and waited.

He waited, waited and waited, close to nine o'clock at night and already almost falling asleep on the sofa the sound of the keys made him widen his eyes and straighten on his way to greet you, the door opened, and soon he heard the laughter that the friends shared.

"My love, good to see you, why this dim light?" you said as you groped around looking for the light switch.

"Oh, it's no big deal, I made something for us." he put enough emphasis on the "us" looking bitterly at a smiling Zuho who was making his way into the house.

"You're sweet, baby." you left a quick little kiss on Inseong's lips, which made him almost forget the situation. "I'm sure you won't mind Zu joining us, right? I'm starving."

"No, I don't mind." he completed softly as he maneuvered to pick up a new set of plate, cutlery and bowl.

"Thanks Hyung, the food looks delicious." said Zuho sitting in Inseong's customary seat, something that made him fumble with anger.

You exchanged few words during dinner, everyone seemed too excited about your boyfriend's culinary success, even though your boyfriend hadn't received any verbal compliments since they started eating. And so he kept his puppy-dog eyes all through dinner, waiting for you to compliment him, tried to hold your arm to feel your warmth, but you said it was in the way to eat, tried to kiss your cheek but was not well received.

Inseong was the first to finish eating, he ran into the living room and sat in the armchair clutching the biggest pillow he could find, he hid his face there biting his lower lip in an attempt to contain his jealousy. He wanted so, so, so badly for that moment to be the two of you, wanted you to have caressed his hair and told him he had done a good job, kissed his wine-tasting lips, felt everything in you tighten.

"What is it that you're cowering there, sweetie?" you asked as soon as you arrived in the room.

The phrase "I'm jealous" came on the tip of his tongue and was swallowed, he lifted his head and stared into your bright ocean eyes, he wanted to swim there.

"Did you like what I did today?"

"Of course I did my love, you did the recipe just right, and it was delicious, the flowers are beautiful, you chose a wonderful wine, and the candle is so fragrant I'm going to overlook the fact that you went through my candle drawer."

You held his flushed little face, kissed his forehead, his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and finally left a lingering kiss on his lips, he felt so loved that he wanted to explode, wanted to wrap his arms around you and stay there until they merged into one.

"Can we play something?" Inseong wanted to explode once again when he heard Zuho's voice interrupt the precious moment.

"What do you want to play, cutie?"

"Cutie"? What the hell was that? Affectionate nicknames were his, totally and endlessly from Inseong, why did you have to call him that? "Cutie," what a joke!

"Can we play 20 Questions?"

Luckily for your boyfriend, this was one of the games he enjoyed playing the most, so it was not at all bad to agree to play with Zuho. Sitting almost hanging on you and kissing you all over your face with each sentence, he lived up to how much he enjoyed this game, getting almost everything that was directed at him right quickly within the first few questions. Zuho never had a problem with his group mate's excessive attachment, in fact he even found it cute the way he hugged and kissed you, but somehow today he realized the exaggeration of the situation and decided to jokingly intervene.

"You guys should get a room or something," he said, laughing at the end of his sentence.

"Baby, you are so clingy today, sit on the other side, let's keep playing."

The sad puppy dog eyes were popped in the older boy's eyes throughout the rest of the night and early morning, he could no longer feel that anger he felt at the beginning of the situation, now he just wanted to sit in a corner and whine for your attention. A yawn from his friend cut off his thoughts, he noticed you looking at the wall clock and pondering.

"It's too late for you to go to the dorm alone, Zuho, spend the night here, I have a mattress you can use."

The sleeping arrangements didn't take long, Zuho arranged his makeshift bed and put on the clothes that with some insistence Inseong had lent him, it wasn't that he didn't want to lend them to Zuho, it's just that that batch of clothes had been washed along with yours own, and they all had your scent that your boyfriend didn't want to lose.

As you entered your room you noticed a pile of blankets and pillows in the corner of your bed, you suppressed a giggle as you imagined your boy all curled up there, he had been acting very strange today since the moment you announced you were going out with Zuho, you slowly walked over and hugged the pile to your side.

"What's with you today?"

"Am I still your baby?" you could hear the muffled little voice.

"Of course you are still my baby, why wouldn't you be?"

"You spent all afternoon with Zuho, then I made a romantic dinner for both of us, and you told him to stay for dinner, and now he's sleeping in your living room, on the mattress I used to sleep on when we hadn't done yet..."

This time you couldn'tcontain your giggle, which resulted in Inseong kicking off the covers and pillows to look at you in irritation, your eyes ran down his chest hidden by his crossed arms, his bare little belly rising and falling by his breath, the box that hugged his hips gracefully.

"My love, this has nothing to do with you being my baby or not, you are my boyfriend, my baby, and Zuho is a friend."

"Do you love me?" he asked with his eyes shining, not a trace of insecurity, he just wanted to hear it from your mouth.

"I love you with the warmth of a thousand suns." his cheeks turned pink as if the sun had kissed them.

"I love you very much too." he replied, playing with his fingers.

Your lips met, and soft warmth spread through your butterfly stomachs, you stroked his hair as he waited, kissed and gently bit his reddish lips, smoothed the delicate skin of his waist, traveled to his beautiful ass and left caresses there.

"You were such a good boy for me today, Seong!"

"Was I?" he asked between a sigh of desire.

"You always are, the best baby I could ever have, with the hottest lips, and the most comfortable hug in the world."

Inseong felt the familiar warmth spread through her body from those compliments, his cheeks and neck took on a permanent shade of a rosy red, his hands lost their way, and his lips silently begged for a kiss.

"I love everything about you, your puppy dog eyes, your cute nose, your smile, your soft hair..." and you kissed everywhere you spoke. "Your shoulders, your collarbone, your nipples, I love your nipples." You allowed yourself to linger there.

The boy tried to hold back gasps and moans that threatened to escape too loudly, you followed with the list, the waist, the belly, the hands, the hips, and you jumped to the thighs and lost yourself there, kissed the calves and came back on top of him smiling.

"What do we have here, isn't it pretty boy?" you smiled, spreading the throbbing bulge over the already wet box. "Did my compliments leave you like this, baby?"

He closed his eyes tightly, pressed his lips together and hit the sheets trying to cash in on the pleasure.

"I-I think it was the wine."

"The wine?" you laughed in disbelief. "The wine got you all wet and ready for me like that, love?"

He whimpered at both the question and you abruptly ripping the box off his legs and throwing it somewhere in the room, at that moment you pulled away from him, and he tried to pull you into the heat tangle.

"Hold on baby, I'll give you what you want, give me a second." You said with a little wink at the end.

Inseong closed his eyes to keep the mental image of you kissing him all over his body alive in his mind, only opening when he felt your presence back, his eyes adjusting to something in your hands, a collar and leash. His cock jumped and spilled a fat drop of pre-cum, too eager to hold back.

"I know how much you like to fuck me with this, do you want to show me how good you are to me?"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" he said excitedly, sitting up in bed and desperately rolling a condom on his sensitive cock, resisting the urge to pump the shaft.

You opened the collar and placed it on the boy's handsome neck, connected the lead and gave it a tentative tug, almost automatically he widened his eyes and stuck out his tongue by reflex. You stroked the soft strands before lying down on the bed in a comfortable position and pulling him close to you, without difficulty you accommodated his entire length.

Inseong seemed to be on edge as soon as he entered, his mouth wide open and spilling out moans, his hands closing into fists near your head, trying his best to control himself.

"Come on, baby, show me what you've got for me." The order came with a tug on the tab that made him pull all his strength from within him and gather it to thrust into you.

His eyes rolled back each time he went deep in you, the moans becoming louder and louder, the impending pleasure driving him crazy, saying things you couldn't even imagine hearing.

"I'm your best boy, aren't I?" the faltering voice made itself understood.

"You are, my love, the best boy!"

"Zuhocould never love you like this, I love you so, so much.... Oh my god, I am so close."

"Wait a minute, baby, let's go together." You pulled him into a needy kiss, full of moans.

"Am I doing well? Please tell me I'm your favorite, please, please!"

"You are doing so well, you are my favorite baby, make me cum, just a little bit more, I love you, my perfect baby!"

And that made him break, into a thousand little pieces, the white jets filled the condom quickly, cumming so hard he couldn't stop, his trembling hand ran to you, helping you get there along with him. His lips mumbled several silent "I love you", he had fallen so deeply into the subspace that he fell asleep minutes after drinking a glass of water that you offered.

[writingssummit]

Hii, I love your writing! Can I pretty please request the prompt "quick, kiss me!" With Tsukishima. (Scenario preferably but anything is fine)

I'm fine with pretty much anything but I was thinking something along the lines of reader wants to make their crush jealous by kissing Tsukishima but Tsukishima likes reader and reader used to like Tsukishima but thought he didn't like them so they moved on, but when they kiss they both realize their true feelings.

I really hope that's not confusing. Even if you change it up though I don't mind I just like the prompt idea a lot.

a/n: hey there ! thank you so much, and of course! i haven’t written for him on here as of yet, but i do have a good enough idea of his general vibes lol. this is totally a good prompt, i love these kinds of things. gonna have some fun with this one. i set it in high school, sorry if that’s not what you were looking for ! here you go :D

word count: 1.4k

- TSUKISHIMA KEI -

to say that you were over tsukishima would not be a total lie. you knew from the get-go it wouldn’t happen, and even though you held on to whatever hope you had left, eventually, it was just time to give up. he just wasn’t interested in anyone like that, let alone you.

it hurt of course, but slowly, you were able to shove the feelings away for good. they wouldn’t bother your friendship anymore. you wouldn’t think of the way he was growing into a better middle blocker, his stupidly handsome glasses, and his weird hair that you always wanted to touch, but never had the courage to ask.

it was when a new person came around, that you had those feelings again, just not for him. every time you were near them, your heart fluttered, and you felt your chest tighten. it wasn’t the same, your heart cried, but you ignored it.

you met them at one of karasuno’s practice matches. being friends with tsukishima and somewhat friends with yamaguchi, you often spectated whenever you could, just to support them. there was another spectator there as well, apparently from the opposing school. you both were near each other due to the spacing in the gym, and you guys had immediately hit it off.

by the end of it, you had exchanged numbers right before they left to go back with their team. you gave them a small wave and a smile, feeling a little giddy about it. was this it? you moving on for real? you liked this feeling.

“your face looks annoyingly stupid right now.” tsukishima had appeared by you, towel around his neck. you laughed nervously.

“y-you think it’s stupid?” you already knew his answer, but you were hoping it’d be different this time. just once. you didn’t happen to notice something flash in his eyes before he closed them. he pushed his glasses up his nose..

and then he walked away.

your mouth dropped, and you scrambled after him. “tsukishima, just you wait a damn minute-”

as was your guy’s relationship. you stayed by his side (but not glued, that was yamaguchi’s thing), supported him, and he deflected and denied caring through meaningless jabs and insults. it was just tsukishima, after all, he just cared in his own way, you guessed. maybe.

your phone buzzed, and you looked down at your notifications. it was the person from the other school! your smile returned full throttle, and you immediately texted back.

you and the other student began to make a habit of texting and calling regularly, you enjoyed talking with them, and they made you feel something warm in your heart again.

soon enough, you knew you had a crush on them. maybe not a crush crush, but something inside of you did.

the joy you felt when the same team had requested a practice with karasuno was probably more than you should have felt, but this was exciting for you. the last practice had gone so well, that they decided to have another one. they’d texted you and told you that they’d be coming this time too.

you hummed to yourself, reading back on your texts, a new hobby of yours. they were really funny, so there were some good moments to read again. you were so absorbed in re-reading them, that you hadn’t noticed they had arrived already. your head shot up as they walked into the gym,

everyone was serious this time around. from the last time they played against each other, they had come up with a few counter-measures to their plays. At least, that’s what yamaguchi had told you. your friend gave you a small wave, heading over to where you were standing.

“hey again!” you chirped. they matched your enthusiasm, winking at you.

“hey hey, y/n!”

you guys were having friendly conversation, perhaps too friendly conversation. at least, that’s what was going through tsukishima’s brain. you were around him, but never really present. you’d stopped looking at him like that, it was directed towards the other person now. he didn’t realize or want to admit that he liked it, that he wanted that look reserved for himself. it was getting too late anyways, and his pride was not going to help. so he just watched as you fell into the other’s snares.

a few sets went by (they were just going at it, set after set until practice was done for the day), and you were wrapped up in your crush to pay any actual attention to the plays. this didn’t go unnoticed by a certain middle blocker.

the ball slammed past his hands, and onto their side of the court; nishinoya attempted to make a dig, but it was too fast for him. he was totally sure that the tall blonde could have gotten that. said tall blonde cursed under his breath, flexing his fingers one by one. he shouldn’t be getting so distracted by you.

“don’t mind, don’t mind!” hinata called out to him, and he glared over his shoulder at the shorter boy. “yikes!” he took a step back, bristling.

another game came and went, and you were confused. You couldn’t even tell if you had a chance with them, they liked you just fine, you knew that, but they always looked off at the court at one particular person; yachi.

you deflated a little. you knew she was cute, and lots of people thought she was. but you had hoped that maybe you would be the one they stared at. you didn’t want these feelings to be a repeat of last time, you wanted to take action for once. but how do you move things along? how does one even do that?

which is when an incredibly stupid idea came into your head. it was the dumbest idea ever, but it might work. it’s worked for other people, so it could work. but you didn’t know who to ask. You furrowed your brows, trying to think.

you ended up deciding not soon after, your brain was waving red flags but you ignored it. everyone was still packing up, so there was time to do this!

this might be for the wrong reasons, but they were right in your mind. you walked over to tsukishima with an intense look on your face, that even made him weary. he looked down at you with his signature blank face, maybe even a scowl.

“what are you st-”

your crush was about to walk past you both, now was the chance. you grabbed onto his arm.

“quick, kiss me.”

he was taken aback, his jaw clenched. “wh-”

“oh my god, just do it.” you grabbed hold of his shirt, and without even a blink, he leaned down to kiss you.

and it was everything you had expected. his lips were soft, and his hand was cold against the back of your neck. it was electric, it was..it was everything and more. and by the time he pulled away to stare down at you, you realized that you were just as confused as ever.

you enjoyed it. a lot. you thought that the feelings were buried away in their grave, but they had resurfaced just like that, as if you hadn’t tried so hard to forget them. was your friend just..just a rebound for tsukishima? your face lights on fire, and you let go of him right away. he looks at you intensely, and you gulp.

and of course, everyone had seen, because you guys were in the gym during clean up.

“oi, didn’t know you had a s/o, tsukishima!” tanaka slapped him on the back, which made him wince. “you gotta tell your senpai about these things, you know!”

“they’re no-”

you wave your hands around, shaking your head, but it was too late to take whatever that was back. your friend turned crush turned..who knows what raised their eyebrows in surprise.

“i didn’t realize you had a boyfriend! we should go on a double date sometime, my girlfriend wanted to meet you, and double dates are super fun!” you cough into your fist, still red. So they did have a s/o.

“well, he’s not my..boyfriend.” everyone tilted their head at that.

“then let me be it now.” your eyes widened in surprise, and you turned your head to look back at tsukishima. he wasn’t looking at you, and you knew that he would later reprimand you for kissing him out of nowhere and then making him confess in front of his teammates. your heart felt right. this was right, so how could you even say no? he liked you like you liked him. even if it took awhile to get here.

and tsukishima would make sure he was clear on those feelings once you were alone.

“yeah. yeah, okay.”

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

DAYS OFF

Happy Lowman x Reader (Headcanons)

Anon asked: Hii ya, I just wanted to start saying that your fics saved my day, and if you're taking requests could you write some Happy fluff (maybe smutty if you feel like it)?! I just think that tumblr doesn't have enough of those. ANYWAYS, you're amazing and your fics are one of the best things I've read 😍💞💕 Sending love and good vibes

WARNINGS: NSWF, SMUT

Word Count: 1.4k

Author comments: This work wasn't re-edited, so I'm sorry if you find grammar mistakes! I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @tita127 @ifoundmyhappythought @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @angelxshiba @minnicelli @ottosuricato ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Usually, when he comes back home, it's five or six in the morning. Your turn at the hospital is almost done, so he fights against his tiredness sitting on the sofa to wait for you. Even if you ask him for not doing it and going to bed, as soon as he's back, he keeps doing it every time.

Your fingertips touring one of his cheeks, while the other is above his palm and the elbow nailed on the armrest, leaving some soft caresses to wake him up. A smile getting drawn on his lips confirms you he's enjoying it, before opening his eyes to show those honey orbs that have you totally bewitched. You're squatting close to him, making Happy leans towards you to catch your lips with his in a lovely kiss. A slowly one. He loves to taste every single inch of them, proving you how much he has missed you, placing both hands on the sides of your neck urging you to sit on his lap.

“Now, I'm finally home”. He whispers, feeling your fingers getting tangled on his shirt, before taking you to bed.

You two sleep for more than ten hours with the phones off, and even the doorbell disconnected. Your legs intertwined, your arms surrounding each other's body tightly. No distance between you two. Happy likes to sink his nose and his lips on your neck, because he always says that's his favorite safe-place. He has a lot, actually, and all around you. But your sweet smell hushes his demons and all the bad things that run through his disturbed mind.

He usually wakes before you, taking the advantage of kissing your skin. Slowly, gently, taking his time. Happy wants to make you feel loved all the damn time, no matter who is near of you, nor where you are, nor when. It's like a necessity for him. He's always saying that you're the best thing that could happen to his life and he doesn't want to lose you. And even if you've told him thousands time that you're only for him, he needs to make you feel it in case you forget it.

His favorite pet-name for you is ‘love’. The only time he pronounces your name is when he's between your legs pounding you hard, fast and deep making quake your body under his, letting you know how much he adores you or every time he presses his lower abdomen against your nose with his delicious glans hitting the wall of your throat, until an arcade borns there. But this pet-name has a strong meaning when he's back after some days riding. He makes sure you hear him say it. He adds it at the end of every question, sentence (...). Happy needs to make you know you're ‘his love’, his one and only. He doesn't have eyes for anyone else. Only you.

“Do you fancy pizza or chinese, love?”

“Let's watch Tom and Jerry, my love”.

“Love, love, love. Hey, love! Look at that!”

“I think I broke all the barometers loving you, my love”.

Happy usually draws a bruise on the left side of your neck, using first the tip of his tongue to delineate where he wants to do it, while his waist moves against yours looking for some friction. He likes a quickly before cooking pancakes for you, even if it's time for lunch. When he wakes up, he's hard. He's so hard that even you hurt of feeling him rubbing your wetted panties, asking you to let him fuck you with some cute sobs. Totally needy.

“C'mon, love… wake up. I need you”. He's about to cry desperately, because he doesn't like to do anything without your consent, he would never do that. Not even waking you by eating you out. He wants you to be fully awake, with all your senses on every touch, every caress, every thrust and every kiss.

“You like it, uh? Did you miss it?” You tease him as soon as his abdomen presses your pussy with all his strength, growling hoarsely and his face sinked on your neck.

“Yes”. He just say, trying to go somewhat deeper if it's possible.

He always cooks for you. Whatever you want, he makes it for you. Before meeting, Happy didn't know a shit about kitchen, but he learned because of your first date. That night you were about to call the fire department three times and, even if it wasn't the best food you ever tried, he was freaking excited. Now, four years after, he's the best chef you ever met.

Happy likes to spend the rest of the day on the sofa, drinking beer and lying on top of you. Always among your legs watching Scooby Doo's episodes, having five-minutes-nap to recover from a week riding and sleeping for not more than four hours per day.

He must have a hand on you all the time. Holding yours, on your nape, on your waist, on your cheek caressing it, slapping or pinching your ass (...), kissing you every time he has the opportunity. But this day, he likes to do it slowly, with his tongue tasting yours dearly. Your saliva mixing with the beer' flavor, and making you feel all the affection he has for you.

At the end of the day, you two usually have a relaxing bath together. The back of his head on your shoulder, your arms wrapping his neck, eyes closed and your fingers leaving soft caresses all around the tattooed chest. You talk about your days away from each other, about long turns at the hospital and about the assholes who points him with a gun, before Happy breaking his fingers. Something pretty normal. He makes you laugh explaining it, because he always seems so excited telling you about his days without you getting scared, not judging him. Yeah, his mind works different, it's somewhat dark and perturbed and you're not romanticizing it, you could never. But he's Happy. That kind of things happens around the world every minute. Bad people doing bad things and sometimes someone like Sons' appears. They're not angels, but fuck that. Look how happy your boyfriend looks. And at the end, you give him a brief reward, because he still tired after riding.

One of your hands travel down, drowning in the water, while the other wraps tightly his throat. Your teeth biting gently the lobe of his ear, whilst Happy closing his eyes and focusing his attention on your fingers stroking his cock, getting harder every time your thumb caress and makes some pressure above the glans. One of your favorite things on earth is watching him fully relaxed, parted lips, caressing your forearms and letting you give him some pleasure without you enjoying it physically. Happy has that imperious need to make you feel satisfied, but this night it's just for him.

Your wrist moving a little faster, while he gets somewhat comfy over your body. You whisper somethings like “you like it?”, “do you want it faster?”, “fuck, I love when you're that hard, baby”, “you can't imagine how much I've missed you”. He just nods or replies a weak “yes” or a dry growl, close to fall into a cliff of pleasure, stirring under the moves of your hand. And when he cums underwater, he almost howls your name squeezing his closed lids whilst your lips draw an invisible trail of kisses from his temple down to his cheek until you find his sleepy mouth. His tongue licking your lips, before catching them between his teeth.

Let's be clear, Happy doesn't have any fears, if you don't keep in mind the fact of losing you. He's fucking crazy. He can stab, shoot, takes off the skin off whoever being alive… But he likes sometimes to be the small spoon at bed, feeling so much protected when your arms wraps him tightly into you. He loves feeling your kisses on his nape and his head, tangling his long fingers with yours, sinking his nose on the space among your forearms. He always falls asleep before you, because he doesn't have any worries. It's only him and the love of his life cuddling at bed.

[daisymondays]

if you were to rec someone five of your fics that sum you up what would they be?

Hii, i think I literally got this ask about two months ago at this point and I’m extremely sorry I never actually answered you …. but im here now !!!

The reason this took me so long to answer was because it really made me think about what kind of writer I am, how i’d advertise the kind of things I write, like what about the fics summed me up, but i’m going to try now.

1. Karma’s A Fake Orgasm

There’s another abandoned mug, festering with mould in the living room — Steve offically has the world’s worst roommates. And complains about them. Often. Bucky, tired of his lack of action, decides it’s time to avenge Steve’s sleepless nights and unsanitary conditions once and for all. They’ll pretend to be the world’s most annoying couple: excessive PDA, loud fake sex, and general repugnance. The plan sounds easy enough; it will be strictly platonic. Or will it?

Why: I think this fic sums me up in a fair few ways, but mainly the tone. It’s a fun fic at heart and I just really love making people laugh, i think all the MCU characters have such brilliant comedic potential that for someone like me is just my dream, i truly love getting to write just the very human moments of this fic where they’re joking around as friends. It’s tropey and there’s pining, and really its a self indulgent fic that I really enjoyed writing so yeah I think it sums me up quite well. Also it was meant to be 5k and is ofc now 55k which is the epitome of me and anything I do writing wise

2. Highly (in)Compatible 

Draco’s been shagging The Prat Who Lived on and off for a few months when his soul mark starts to change. Draco’s had to accept a lot of adjustments to his life, but accepting that Harry Potter could be his soulmate is one step too far. It can’t be true? Can it?

Why: at heart this sums me up because I completely made everything more difficult than it needed to be, but no, I guess it’s pretty me as while I will joke about hand waving things way in writing, I do like there to be an explanation, it bugs me when there isn’t, and so I used this fic as a chance to get to the core of how soul mates could exist and why, and how it would work, and the point of soul marks etc etc. I spent half of my childhood always having an irritating why hanging on my tongue so is my but why fic. Also it looks at mental health (ding ding ding) and has a Draco POV voice that is so close to my own speaking voice that I had friends tell me it sounded like me speaking at times so take from that what you will

3. If We Were Honest

Two years ago, Draco and Harry had a whirlwind secret romance that ended in heart-break. Since then Draco’s written a best-selling novel based on their relationship, but with one key difference—the characters get a happily ever after. Now Harry and Draco are reunited for the first time since their break-up, but can they rewrite their own ending?

Why: this fic is my inner angsty mess that I don’t show that often and here it is. I always want to write really feelsy almost poetic stuff but have a tendency to lean more to realistic and humorous character voices, that are more over dramatic in their feelings, but this was me being able to explore that side of the table and trying harder with the language and imagery. Also, a lot of queer pride in here and as i approached my first pride month as a baby bisexual that was important to me, getting happy endings and the difficulty in embracing sexuality sometimes and learning to be comfortable in who you are. Also that sometimes people fuck up (speaking from experience there LOL)

4. A Place of Learning

When Pansy returns to Hogwarts all she wants to do is keep her head down and pass her N.E.W.Ts. However, between drinking games and a new roommate, Pansy is reminded that nothing at Hogwarts is ever simple.

Why: so something that is very important to me in fandom is the fair treatment of female characters especially due to a lot of internalised misogny they’ve been shat on a lot in the past. Also there is such a disportinate amount of w/w to m/m work, and like i’ve written predominantly m/m too but i do like to try and write w/w fics too!! ((I have plans for possible Peggy/Natasha for MCU)) So this fic was me bringing fun tropes aka 8th year, drinking games and roommates to Ginny/Pansy in a hope to encourage people to read it!! its my usual and its got strong banterous friendships, a bit of pining and feels, and i think it sums me up in my just general determination to make sure femslash isn’t totally overlooked

5. Strings Attached

Draco Malfoy’s never been interested in dating, and he’ll be damned if that changes because of Harry Potter in joggers.

Why: this sums me up not so much for the content but again usual, banter and some feels, but for the reasons I wrote it. I wrote it after a conversation with some mates about being a bit tired of a few dynamics we were seeing in HD and I was bored of Drarry at this point and no intention of writing it for the joggers fest then ofc, bam sat down and cracked 15k in three days ��� and i really like how this fic turned out too – so i think this sums me up in the things i will do to prove a point and just how bloody fast i write sometimes, its ridiculous honestly. But yeah, i think again its a strong me vibe just in it

So here you go Nonnie, 5 fics of mine and some rambling about how i think they best represent me. Really I’m here for banter and feels, and hopefully no damp squibs. Thanks for the ask

[blonghoonie]

HEY RAIN!!!!

sorry for not doing any asks, school is still a thing 😮‍💨

i totally relate freaking out for a exam

nice i see you like autumn-springy vibes, a very cozy relaxing feeling.

what would be your top favorite songs to listen during those times? im more of a summer person so for me is more ���feel good” songs 🎶.

also, do you celebrate christmas??

now looking at it, this ask is written very badly 😂😂

whats your favorite trope? i see that you write a a-lot of jayhoon, and this next question may sound familiar but i have to do my research (because you might have asked it before 🌚)

whats the fic you are most proud of?

i hope you have a great dayyyyy!

— xoxo, from your secret moa 🍂

Hii!! No worries, I can understand 😅

yeah, the muted colours bring this sort of... comfort, ig? I really love them!!

tbh I don’t really have a favourite song, it’s more about seasonal obsession. like, depends on which song my brain fixates on looping. but in general I like slow songs, or ones with a relaxing aura, but I also have a thing for strong beats. 

I do! I’m Christian so every year (if possible) we go to church on Christmas eve for the midnight mass, come back home and cut the Christmas cake together. When we were in India, my cousins would come over and Christmas evening would be full of celebrations but it’s been a while since we celebrated like that. 

Ahh yes, Jayhoon, my loves. IDK I really love their dynamic. Like, the way Sunghoon is shy and reserved and Jay is loud and talkative and yet they both are such good friends. They’ve also survived together so far which makes their bond all the more special! Plus the fact that Sunghoon becomes a toddler in Jay’s presence makes me softt 🥺🥺

Of the ones I’ve published so far, I’d say it’s this one, mainly because it’s doing so well, but I’m working on one fic rn which I’m super proud of!

How have you been? What do you like doing when you’re bored? Tell me more!!

I hope you have a wonderful day!!

[oceanicmemoirs]

I’ve had the urge to write lately. I’ve tried the whole journal thing, bleh. Between my hand cramping and the constant erasing between the million thoughts that were flowing through my mind I said - screw it. Back to a blog I go. I have a million and one things so where do I even begin..

Ah yes, maybe the one thing that’s been consuming my life lately? Merp. I’ve been going through major anxiety lately. I don’t know how, or why. It’s all sorts of uncomfortable but, it HAS been better these past two days. I’ve found cutting down on the drinking (who would of thunk) and waking up in the early AM and actually humaning - if that’s even a word - has been helping..ALOT. (Again, who would of thunk) I’ve actually been good. Even took the paddle board out with my mama yesterday and cruised the island. SO refreshing for the mind, body, and soul.

And then there was today - where I just got up out of my bed at 4pm. I’m trying  not to beat myself up over it. I mean, it’s Friday. Whatever, right?

I’ve been such a hermit lately. I’m a horrible texter and friend as it is usually but I just cannot find the energy to keep a conversation going lately. Especially with the male species. I just don’t feel like having small talk. The whole -

“Hey” “Hii!” “What’s up” “Oh blahblah, what about you?” “Just doing this and that” “Very nice!”

Is just so boring to me! And when it comes to my friends trying to talk  I want to  deep down inside, I do. When they ask me to hangout I really want to but again, it all goes back to that damn ANXIETY.  Constantly wondering what I should say, how I should say it. I think I erase and type a hundred different responses to the same person with the fear of sounding too bitchy, or too eager only to leave it blank and probably have them thinking I could care less. I promise that’s not the case!

But, now that this anxiety b.s has simmered down I have this urge to give somebody a call and go out for a little bit tonight. I won’t get into details but there is some major weird vibes flowing thru the house with A and I. Don’t know what that’s all about. She hasn’t talked to me at all when she is home and usually on Friday’s we make plans for girls night. She just came home from work and left to go somewhere, without even saying anything soooooo.. should probably find a Plan B haha. I didn’t do anything. We didn’t even have an arguement so I don’t understand. A part of me is regretting the whole making her my roommate thing. Should of learned the last time around that moving in with your best friend at the time will turn around and bite you in the ass in the end. I’m going to stay positive and hope for the best that that’s not the case with this one, but we will see.

I feel like every time I want to go out nobody ever calls, but when I want to lay around and marinate in my bed people are calling me up the ying-yang trying to get me to go out and shove Tito’s down my throat. Speaking of - note to self : NO MORE TITO’S. Just don’t do it to yourself. I’m usually one who can handle alcohol. Sure I’d get a little “loose” but i also used to be able to have actual conversations with people and just chill - keyword used to. Now I find myself acting a fool getting a little too, said “loose” and wake up not remembering a thing and feeling like a total jackass. Having that happen is okay every once in a while but this has become an every-single-time-I-drink-tito’s event. Maybe I should try going back to rum or tequila or something? HA.

Anywho, I’m in such a weird mood. I’m sad,  I’m hopeful, I’m annoyed, I’m content, I’m bored, and I’m excited. So much going thru my head right now and trying to put it into words on here is supposed to help it’s really just overwhelming me right now. I think it’s because I’m so concerned about the past and obsessed with how I am going to change everything for the future that I’m not living in the present moment, when that’s exactly what I need to be doing.

The fact that my house is almost 90 degress doesn’t help at all, either. Feels like I’m in hell itself.

- cs