#highkey anxious posting this

[rustybutterknife]

redditors and fakeclaimers in general are losers. you could be the "perfect" archetype of a system and theyd still find a way to fakeclaim you, dont take their opinions to heart. its rough, and easier said than done, but YOU know your experiences better than some asshole on one of the social media apps.

i hope you have a good day :>

Thank youuu

I feel like the whole “fakers/disordered” shit is very similar to the whole “truscum/tucute” arguments on tumblr/reddit that went on in the late 2010’s

[michidrawsathing]

Samuel Hayes

Age: 24. Nickname (if any): Sam, as called by close friends or family. Birthday: October 9, 1999. Zodiac: Libra. Dream Occupation: Aspires to be a culinary chef. Height: 6'2" (188 cm). Gender: Male. Sexuality: Bisexual (prefers men). Significant Other: None. Family: He is an only child, he lives with his mom and dad. MBTI Personality: ISFP (Adventurer). D&D Alignment Type: Lawful Good. Enneagram Personality: 2w1 (The Companion). Likes: Cooking, reading, shopping for loved ones, debating, cute things (like Sanrio Co.) Dislikes: Crowded places, being the center of attention, people pointing out his anxiety, getting into relationships quickly. Strengths: Good work ethic, protective, excellent cook, excellent debator, loves someone for who they are. Weaknesses: Shy, anxious, stays away from groups, thinks too heavily into things, finds it hard to be in love.

Turn-Around:

TBA

Voice Claim:

Haruki Nakayama (Given)

For additional images and info hit, "Keep reading".

Extra Images:

Previous Lovers: Kyle (as seen above) and Ioh (belongs to @denpamonart ).

When I created Sam he had purple eyes. Then I said, "Well... maybe he should only have a natural eye color", so I made them green. Then, I decided I liked him better with purple eyes.

Sometimes your first decisions are the right ones.

Sam's Tag: #michidrawsathing sam

[dwarf-hat-enjoyer]

I meant to ask yesterday, but how ab some touch starved Harvey head cannons? <3

🤝Touch-Starved Harvey🤝

synopsis: Exactly what it says on the tin <3 Our favorite town doctor craves physical intimacy more than he knows. Headcanons+drabble of how he copes with it, how he reacts to physical contact, and a bonus of how he reacts to receiving physical affection! gn!Farmer, romance. SFW.

w.c.: 1.7k words!

content warnings: None!

A.N.: BABY'S FIRST REQUEST! Thank you so much :,) Highkey this was super enjoyable for me to write and I'm REALLY happy that you liked my other post enough to pop in!!! Enjoy &lt;3

Before the farmer, before befriending Maru and assimilating into his role as the meek and respectful town doctor, he had always been rather avoidant to initiating casual physical contact. Everything he gave, everything he received- it all ranged from polite social expectancies to standard work-related procedures. He didn't think much of it. Having always been a more anxious type, the possibility of making another uncomfortable was always on his mind in these interactions, and what better way to avoid such a thing than to not have it at all? Handshakes and the occasional stiff hug were enough for him. Unfortunately, this proved to be a bit of an oversight on his end, considering the side-effects it would provide.

By the time the farmer arrives, his chronic loneliness has very much caught up with him. Not only has he distanced himself physically from others around him, but mentally as well. Outside of his clinic, the way Harvey's been so avoidant to touch has turned it into a source of anxiety for him. His self-consciousness extends to this field as well- when Granny Evelyn beckons him to lean down for a hug after he's finished his house visit to George, he worries that he's hugged her too tightly or for too long in the very back of his mind. Even the handshake exchanged with the governor at the last year's Luau haunts his memory, with the constant niggling thought that he hadn't been firm enough.

And don't get this man started on his non-existent romantic life. Moving to such a small town those few years ago, he knew that prospects like that would be limited, to say the very least. Many of the eligible singles in town, as lovely as they were, were...well, not exactly his type. And even those that were, how could a guy like him ever manage anything with anyone? The thought of being forward or flirtatious in any way practically gave him hives. But the idea of having someone to be close to, physically and emotionally...He couldn't say that he didn't crave that. But all in all, he wholeheartedly believed that it wasn't in the cards for him and his touch-starved ways.

Enter the farmer. They were just another patient to Harvey in the beginning, another member of the town for him to look after. He didn't pay much attention when they touched him or when he touched them, aside from his ordinary overthinking. He couldn't afford to think too deeply about, really. He was their doctor, for Yoba's sake, and whether it was a friendly punch in the arm or a simple tap on the shoulder to get his attention, it would be highly unprofessional to dwell on. Besides, the mystique of being new in town and charmingly single was sure to draw them quite a few pairs of eyes, anyway. How could he compete?

Well...He definitely began thinking about that. Time marched forward as time does, and an unexpected friendship began to blossom. Harvey being Harvey, it was hard for him to recognize his developing feelings at first. Their gestures became more frequent, and his heart swelled with each one. Whether it be grabbing his wrist to drag him to see their chickens or a grateful hug for patching them up after a night in the mines, it lingered in his mind longer than it should have. When the day came that he idly pondered asking them to the coming year's Flower Dance, it all suddenly became clear to him: He'd fallen. And he'd fallen hard.

Everything suddenly became so much more meaningful. The coffee and pickles they'd frequently brought him, fresh from their farm. When he caught them looking at him and only him among the faces of a festival crowd, was that a sign? Did they think about him as often as he thought about them? Did they think about his touch the way he thought about theirs? With all these thoughts swirling about in his head, he would suddenly become much more reserved around the farmer, quiet and flustered as if a single word could shatter the friendship they'd so carefully cultivated already.

Eventually, something would have to be said about his behavior. This is Harvey, after all- and even if it weren't, who in their right mind would suddenly clam up the way he did for no good reason?

Clamming up...Was that what he was doing? Harvey sighed to himself as he took in the early summer atmosphere. He brushed his knuckle over the surface of the fountain's water, sitting contemplatively at its edge. It was on days like these where he wished he had the confidence and sense to dress down a little rather than sweltering away in his slacks and button-up shirt, but there were other things on his mind. The sweat on his brow was the least of his concern. How could it be anything else? He'd recently realized that it had been two or three weeks since he'd realized his feelings towards the farmer, after all- which marked two or three weeks since his overthinking was pushed into overdrive by every little moment between them. His mind wandered back to the early days of their friendship. When Harvey closed his eyes envisioned his feelings, true to his bookish personality, he saw a graph. With every little moment between them, the line grew bit by bit until it became positively exponential. The way the farmer aided him at George's check-up was the first incident he could recall. When George, being every bit the stubborn old man he was at first glance, chastised Harvey for his advice, their sudden appearance ended up making the appointment much less of a headache than he expected. Their own appointment went a similar route, with them being one of his easier patients. It went as smoothly as it could have. Harvey had nearly forgotten the incident, but their pulse stuck out in the otherwise unremarkable memory. They were a farmer, for Yoba's sake. They had a business to run, physical labor to attend to and an entire town to entertain to keep themself afloat both financially and socially. Any other doctor wouldn't've thought twice about it and simply moved on with their day. Any other doctor wouldn't've fallen this hard for a patient, he reminded himself grimly. "Hey, Harvey!" In an instant, his thoughtful silence shattered like an egg thrown at the mountainside at the sound of the familiar voice. They'd sought him out. Did he really mean that much to them? Damn it all, doctor, don't get your hopes up! The contents of the farmer's backpack rustled and clanged with every step as they trotted up to him. With a proud grin on their face, they held out their hand expectantly, a small something clutched in their fist. "Oh. Erm...Hi. How are you today?" Harvey asked politely. The farmer blinked, then smiled warmly. "I'm doing alright. Just got back from the mines. Don't have a heart attack, I managed to find that purple mushroom you asked for at a level that wouldn't kill me." Harvey chuckled stiffly, reaching for the mushroom presented in their hand. Big, big mistake. It was a simple brush of their fingers. He hesitated to even call it a mere accident. They seemed so calm, despite the fact that he'd definitely lingered for a millisecond longer than he should have. In the moment, he cleared his throat awkwardly, preparing to apologize- "Harvey." "Ah, I'm sor- Yes?" he stammered, smiling in a way he prayed didn't seem nervous. "If you're going to apologize for touching me," the farmer began, gently yet firmly, "I'm gonna take that mushroom right back. You're squeezing that poor fungus to death, anyway." It was only at their words that he noticed his death grip on the mushroom. He opened his mouth to apologize anyway, but the farmer continued, "That's just something I noticed, you know? One, you've been super quiet with me lately, and two, every time we so much as brush up against each other when we do talk, you start tripping over your words and apologizing as if you just slapped me." "I know that you do get bouts of anxiety, but..." The farmer trailed off, "We're still friends, right?" Their question was genuine, concern-wrought and excruciatingly, painfully innocent. Harvey could hear their voice quieting as it left their lips- not accusatory, simply gentle and ready for whatever answer he'd give.

Harvey fumbled over his words before they'd even left his mouth. To explain himself would be to reveal the absolute fool he had been. Avoiding them for as long as he did would've only harmed their relationship, just as the farmer revealed had happened that moment. Of course they were worried. Of course they wondered whether or not he was mad at them. Of course they'd be hurt by the way he'd shied from every touch of theirs, all because he had made great towering mountains out of the littlest molehills. "Harvey…?" "It's complicated," he blurted out. The farmer's eyes widened as the words poured out of him. "I've tried to keep our relationship professional at first. After that, I- I thought it would be strictly platonic. I didn't even consider the fact that I would feel this way about you." "What do you mean 'this way?'" they prompted him gently. This farmer was going to kill him with how sweetly patient they were being. With a deep breath, he spat it out. "I'm interested in you. Romantically." What Harvey expected in that moment was a kind let-down. A small speech about how they value him as a friend, but can't see any sort of future with them. At worst, a sneer and a more curt rejection. They wouldn't be the type to laugh and mock him, this much he knew. What he hadn't expected was the smile pricking at their lips. Nor did he anticipate the way they reached softly for his hand and the electric joy that set every nerve in his body alight at their touch. It was all clear now. And damn, he truly was a fool to believe so deeply that they didn't feel the same. "Is that all, big guy?" … Oh, farmer. You'll be the death of this doctor yet.

~FIN~

[k-nkypills]

Just had the most sexually charged / weirdly queerly platonic but still sexually charged experience of my life help (FRIENDS INVOLVED IF YOU SEE THIS NO YOU DONT LEAVE ME BE🧍🏻)

Me: *tells gecko I love when him and fly tease me in front of friends, how I wish they would do it more often (because lowkey something queer platonic and very very sexual lurks within this server istg cuz my friends be FINE AS FUCK sometimes man, I’ll explain in an end note)*

🦎Gecko: *takes me up on it, we get consent from the group of friends we’re gaming with because we’re at that kinda friendship / bond level and the conversation turns to my tumblr because the conversation had been a lil sexually charged for a HOT second.*

Me: *attempting not to die in our game, fully and well embarrassed and flustered because this is extremely hot and everyone’s focusing on me, I’m trying to think but literally all my blood rushed to my dick on top of me being stoned*

A friend of mine: *asks about getting a link to my tumblr and asking if he should read out my posts*

Me: *silently asking god if this is what people feel before dying because I’ve never been that unfocused, highkey so hard I might cry and light headed*

🦎Gecko: *dms me a picture of a post I made about 🌅Haven*

Me: *feels my heart stop and I fully blue screen, im definitely gonna have complicated feelings about this later but that’s not my business*

Another friend: *makes a comment about how none of this surprises them, adding to my embarrassment n struggle to think properly (not negative)*

Everyone: *making comments about me like I’m a dog they’re cooing at, getting called cute by gecko in DMs, one of my other friends making a comment about how flustered I am making my head swim*

Bonus:

*me and a friend texting, I’m stoned and wanting attention and someone to game with and I keep begging them to join me and I’m being a brat about it and we’re lowkey kinda being gay and sassing one another*

Nonbinary (Ikyk) friend of mine: “keep begging I dare you, I might get the wrong impression”

Me: *literally stop’s functioning and my brain turns off a second before I react totally normal and in a normal way* “YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT TO A HOMOSEXUAL”

(Note: something homosexual keeps happening in this server istg, this shit keeps happening and istg at some point two (or more) ppl are gonna kiss and everyone who’s been flirting platonically is gonna fuck😒. God help us all /j this little note is mainly a joke, we all flirt, and some of my friends are hot; can you blame me? However THIS made me hard and I will be thinking about it later)

(Are you really a large friend group of poly, queer/trans assholes if you don’t act like a large polycule)

(Another note: I love my boyfriends and only my boyfriends romantically, sometimes the homies can hit is all 😌) (I fear what they’ll do with this, am actively anxious help)

[trashpandacraft]

@mor-and-more, this is for you. tumblr won't let me add video to reblogs and is being highkey uncooperative about this, so it's new post time.

many people who are fairly new to spinning are anxious about dropping their beautiful drop spindles.

first: honestly, you don't have to be. they're called drop spindles for a reason—because you drop them. it's going to drop sometimes; that's just the nature of the craft. it's ok. most of them are pretty sturdy.

second: if this is putting you off starting, try what i only half-jokingly call the no-drop method! it's pretty slow, so you're probably not going to want to do this forever, but you can use it to get to a place where you're comfortable enough that you're willing to try other things.

this is basically park and draft, but not a variation i've seen discussed much, so i made a video, featuring my cat, who really really really wants to help. there's a text version of this method after the video.

this is a no-audio situation (other than random background noise), so quick notes.

first and foremost, i'm holding the spindle between my feet, because that's what's comfortable for me and because i took this video around a tripod. there's no reason that you can't do this sitting on the sofa with the spindle between your knees, or with your legs crossed tailor-style and the spindle tucked into the fold of your knee, or whatever else makes sense for you.

the other thing is that i had to trim the video a little to fit on tumblr, which is why it ends abruptly. there are videos made by much more skilled videographers about how to do things like predraft, find the staple length, and draft while you spin, so i don't show any of that either (except incidentally), but if anyone's like 'no, i feel that having this from you, specifically, will make my life better,' let me know and i'll make another video. maybe without the cat. (maybe with more cat! who can say.)

text version, including some extra notes:

trap the spindle so it can't move, but you have easy access to it. (see list of suggested positions above.)

take your predrafted fibre and hook it onto your spindle. i like to basically fold a staple length in half and use that. once it's hooked, keep your hand there, holding the fibre so it stays folded around the spindle hook.

keeping the spindle trapped, twist it. you're just loosening your feet or knees or whatever enough that you can twist the stick.

twist will move into the fibre around the hook. hooray! your fibre is now attached to the spindle. twist a little more. keep pinching it at the top!

draft out a tiny bit more fibre, move your pinch up to the top of that, and let the twist move into the drafted fibre.

keep twisting, drafting out a little, letting the twist move up, and twisting some more. if the yarn looks like it's getting too loose, let the tension off of the yarn and keep twisting, then reapply the tension. a weird thing about twist is that it doesn't move well unless it's under tension. i really tried to show this in the video, and i failed. i will repeat attempts if anyone desires.

if you're not sure if you have enough twist, just move your fibre hand towards the spindle. if the yarn twists around itself, you're probably good. (i check that a lot in this video, because i never spin in this style recreationally, and i don't have good instincts for it.)

when you have an arm's length of yarn, wrap it onto your spindle. for the first time you do this, you'll want to hold the bottom of the yarn, right where it attaches to the hook, as well as the top of the yarn, right before you get to unspun fibre. just wrap it onto the shaft of the spindle. i sometimes find it useful to lay the first tiny bit of the yarn—again, the bit that was on the hook—parallel to the shaft, and then wrap over that, which helps make sure things are good and tight.

hook back onto the spindle and repeat.

you can do this as long as you want to, up to and including forever. it's sort of a hybrid style of spinning—not quite suspended spinning, not quite supported spinning, and not quite grasped/clasped spinning, but a collection of elements from all of them. you're making yarn! you're spinning!

that said, after you do this a few times, you may feel like it's a little unnecessarily fussy and slow. which is also totally fine. try loosening your grip on the spindle and giving it a little twirl. you don't have to let go entirely if you don't feel ready to, but loosen up enough that it'll spin, then clamp back down. you can see me doing this at the very end of the video. at this point, you're basically doing park and draft, and can go from there.

like i kinda implied at the start of this post, this is very far from the only way to approach learning to spin, but especially if you're anxious about damaging your spindle or (like me) hate unexpected noises, it might be one to consider.

[etheries1015]

Yahallo, this is kinda random but like,, I used to be in TWST years ago and i came back recently, im highkey kinda worried about if im allowed to?? Im an adult and usually a unsafe for work author?? You seem like a reasonable person, anything you could tell me? Is the fanbase as active as it used to be? Would i be welcomed here? Sorry if this is a wild ask but id rather ask then be shunned from something so special to me? Whatever you do, if you just ignore me too. I hope you have a wonderful day/night! -🤍

I can totally get your concerns, I guess sometimes as an adult myself I can get worried about being seen as like...a horrible or weird person getting into "childish" things like Twisted wonderland, but here's the thing.

With the Twisted Wonderland fandom, I see alot of adults here. I keep my blog 18+ for a reason, to interact with other adults that have the same interest as me.

If other people don't share this interest with me, that's fine. They don't have to interact with me, they don't have to be my friend, and frankly, I don't care to talk to those people or react to them if they don't see eye to eye on my interests. My content just isn't for them.

Reality versus fiction. Most adults and people can actively treat those as two completely separate entities. If you can't? that is a whole different issue.

I think this fandom is pretty active...? At least, It's fun to interact with other people who ARE active. I have made quite a few mutuals through this fandom and being an active writer of its characters.

I personally tend to avoid writing NSFW for the younger classes and stick mainly with Malleus and Lilia or the other adults of the game, but there are other writers who I know openly write for the other students who age them up and make certain that they are being clear that they have no alternative motifs. I personally try and see past this, so long as they aren't being openly predatory - because this is where reality vs fiction comes in, and being able to properly differentiate the two is very important.

Some incredibly sensitive souls may take what I say and try and twist around my intent, but I think that if the writer is aging them up and understanding that they are honestly just fictional characters created for a wide range of audience, and you are not actively utilizing it as an excuse to be creepy or predatory, and not actually harming anyone, I don't see much of a problem. I guess that entirely depends on how exactly you're writing it. I have definitely seen a few questionable NSFW posts from a few people that made me question their motifs and ideas behind writing for certain characters, but I simply block them and move on.

There will, of course, be people that disagree with me in that aspect. But then those people just weren't meant to be my audience or my friend, and that's okay.

I say write what you want to write within moral bounds, and hopefully, it hits the audience that you are hoping to aim for. Writing should be self-indulgent and typically for your own entertainment, so do what you feel is right, and it will attract the right people.

I don't really like talking about topics like this unless I actually know the person and their stance on things like this, it always makes me incredibly anxious thinking I may come off wrong or my intentions completely twisted around, so I hope I was able to answer your question satisfactorily without offending anyone. Although, it is impossible to appease everybody.

[lillotus17]

NCT MARVEL AU

okay so like a couple months ago I posted that I really wanted to write an NCT MARVEL AU FF... I might have deleted it I honestly cant remember I also added other SM ARTIST as side/extra/antagonist characters in the plot and right now im currently debating if i wanna find more Marvel characters that I think fit Shohei, Eunseok, and Seunghan.. idk lmk. im still working on the first few chapters and the moodboards of all the characters but it's going to take a while and i've been working very slowly since i am currently in school and have a part time job because in this economy... oof a girl's really struggling. anyways here is a small draft (with no mood board sorry im still woking on it :( ) of which MARVEL Characters the NCT members are going to be portraying

Playlist: Villian by Key ft. JENO | Hero by Martin Garrix and JVKE | Wish you were here by SUPERM | more to be added!

Lee Taeyong as Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers)

okay so i actually considered Iron Man, Falcon, Captain America, and gamora in mind for Taeyong but Iron Man matched johnny a bit more because of his personality and jaehyun suited captain america more imo

taeyong still fits a character with a strong leadership role, cus i mean cmon NCT tired dad/leader-nim

Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel is just tryna fit in and find herself/remember who she is and she finds out that she's a super powerfull highkey baddie and HELLO? Taeyong is that

she has a strong and emotional sense of leadership, willingness to help and protect others and like come on is that not tayeong???

she's (one of) the first avengers and asdfghjkl;

so yeah

carol danvers is a baddie

taeyong is a baddie

pErIoDt

Moon Taeil as Moon Knight (Marc Spector)

okay so like

this kinda just clicked? lmaoo i feel bad- well more like a geek but like MOON Taeil and MOONknight

i finished watching the MoonKnight series on Disney+ a while ago and loikeeee

Marc Spector is a hot SOB

steven grant asdfghjkl; dont get me started

oki tho im like lowkey debating if I want to include Marc's multiple personality but like he's not Moonknight with out steven soooo

might add a little twist to it

but Taeil gives me more Steven Grant vibes than Marc Spector ngl

he's a lil nervous anxious dork yknow?

did consider falcon and war machine for taeil though..

like tony and rhode's relatinship screams johnny and taeil LMFAOO

idk might make some changes...

Seo Youngho/Johnny Suh as Iron Man (Tony Stark)

cocky lil shit and a sexy ass mf

like tell me it doesn't make sense?

homie just wants to spend money and build suits

smart, hot, and rich? yes please

his wit and smart mouth

like imagine johnny "Jae (Cap) you've got a potty mouth"

tony has a heart(?)- there's proof LMFAOO

his sense of humor just screams johnny

had star lord (peter quill) in mind for him too

Nakamoto Yuta as Winter Soldier (James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes)

one intimidating bitch

but a highkey softie

gonna kick ur ass if u fuck with him or anyone he cares about

highkey mysterious

did consider hawkeye, war machine, and falcon for him tho

also considering changes in characters lmk what yall think too!

Qian Kun as Dr. Strange (Stephen Strange)

man can fly a plane

lmaoo sorry that literally has nothing to do with him being a doctor but tell me why in every goddamn MAFIA AU i read, he's the medic

his relationship with yangyang and ten remind me of dr. strange and wong lmfaoooo

lowkey a perfectionist/perfect man asdfghjkl

Kim Dongyoung/Doyoung as Dare Devil (Matt Murdock)

had hawkeye, war machine, and falcon in mind for him

war machine cause of his sense of duty and seriousness- and his relationship with johnny also reminds me of tony and rhodes

also thought about making him nebula (and falcon) cus of his relationship with taeyong

anyways matt murdock is a hot mf

a lawyer? yes please

doyoung likes to argue cus cmon 127 is always on his ass for no reason headahhh lmfaooo

ngl thought there were a lot a members and i did put some thought into this and he matched daredevil best imo

Li Yongqin/Ten as Black Widow (Natasha Romanoff)

bad bitch right here

assassin, bad bitch

have you seen the way he moves?

have you seen the way she moves?

no words, no explanation, it just is and it just makes sense

like fr let's argue

IM JP don't come at me

had hawkeye in mind for him too

Jung Yoonoh/Jaehyun as Captain America (Steve Rogers)

america's ass

like cmon manz representative emoji is a peach

can't really put my finger on it either

like maybe it the masculinity (not meant negatively tho!) and altruism in the both of them(?)

both hot as fuck for no reason

other characters that i think suited him were falcon, winter soldier, (kind of) hawkeye, and black panther

Dong Sicheng/Winwin as Hawkeye (Clint Barton)

oki so i did have black widow in mind for him

and if im being honest it was kind of hard to settle with hawkeye for him

winwin is someone is focused and serious much like clint barton

i mean cmon man was a dancer and that shit takes dedication and patience

like learning how to use a bow and arrow

also had vision in mind for him too

when i first started to get into NCT winwin kind of came off as a timid person, and he's not really affectionate so it kind of screamed vision vibes

Kim Jungwoo as Quick Silver (Pietro Maximoff)

his cute lil personality

"bet you didn't see that coming?" ackkkk

is a caring sweetheart

like pietro wants nothing but for his sister to be happy and protected

jungwoo makes his members happy

Wong Yukhei/Lucas as Thor

okay so like NCT 2018 Halloween special kind of took over

personality wise, lucas and thor are kind similar(?)

like their sense of humor

thor is lowkey the most laid back avenger despite being a prince

and most of the time i can't take lucas seriously

also another character i was kinda of iffy unsure about

idk maybe its just me but lucas seems like the type that would shy away from responsibilities and his asgard duties as king for something more chill

then again thor did do that soooo...

Lee Minhyung/Mark Lee as Spider-Man (Peter Parker)

do i even need to explain?

lmaoo oki so like i was reading a post about how some people don't like mark

which i lowkey found hard to believe but then it made sense

like no disrespect

anyways I do believe mark is a hard working person and he does try to be humble about it but like also its okay to bathe in the glory and be shameless- then again easier said than done, again no disrespect- i love mork

pure hearted and true to himself

much like peter parker

Xiao Dejun/Xiaojun as Shang Chi (Shaun)

lmaoo man is 1/3 of wayv's walking meme group

every time im on tiktok lmfaoooo

lmao i guess the way i picked theses characters to match the members is based on the relationship the members have soo

lmaoo shaun's relationship with katie reminds me of luxiaodery (is that the correct name for them?... wayv 99 liners)

again hot asf

like imagine xiaojun in the bus fighting scene

Wong Kunhang/Hendery as Ant Man (Scott Lang)

also 1/3 of wayv's walking meme group

man is fxcking hilarious

another "do i even need to explain?"

just makes sense

lmaooo well actually i did consider Star Lord for him

Huang Renjun as Yelena Belova

okay so hear me out

i though of gamora or nebula for him too

lmao he's a tiny lil agressive man

ready to bite at any moment

very deadly

snarky (<< affectionate) and witty like Yelena

"i don't get my period dip shit. i don't have a uterus" *said with a russian (chinese) accent and the fact the renjun doesn't have a uterus*

like that line screams renjun lmfao

Lee Jeno as Black Panther (T'Challa)

RIP to Chadwick Boseman

anyways

when mark graduated from dream *sad noises*

jeno gave me hard leadership vibes

like he filled the role so well without actually filling it

and i've noticed how popular he's become lately with all these stage collabs with other idols

prince king jeno

nice ring to it ;)

sense of what is feels right and does what he believes is right

wants to do well for himself and his members

did consider him for hawkeye and falcon

Lee Donhyuck/Haechan as Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff)

sassy lil birchhh

haechan is a very caring person and althoug sometimes it seems like he's acting a certain way to hide his feelings i do believe he is very emotionally inteliegent- however he is kind of impulsive (emotionally)

reminds me of wanda

powerful bitch, like hello vocals?

fight with so much effort and purpose

needs support and is his members number one supporter

Na Jaemin as Falcon (Sam Wilson)

oki so like

this was also a toughy

consider hawkeye, black panther, winter soldier, dare devil, war machine, and a bunch of other... also docor strange cus mans wanted to be a surgeon if he wasn't an idol lmaooo

but tbh no characters really ever stuck with me for jaemin

he's lowkey someone is doesn't gaf and doesn't want to be here but still knows how to have a good time or make up for time

serious and yet isn't

loyal and supportive to his members

Liu YangYang as Kate Bishop

lmaoo renyang and kate and yelena vibes

like "bro what if i killed you, (renjun/yelena)?"

but like he didn't soo???

lmaooo curious and nosy

liek sticks his nose into everyone's business

whether its for funsies or a mission

but he does well in getting whatever information he needs

gave me loki vibes tho

Osaki Shotaro as Vision

he's so cute ackkk

kind of came off as an awkward lil bean to be but i think that was just because of the language barrier with the other members

but it also a reason why i thought he was a good fit to portray vision

cus they're bother still learning

not afraid to ask questions

supportive and kind of goes along with things

a bit naive and questions his morals or rights and wrongs

fast learner imo

Jung Sungchan as War Machine (James Rhodes)

okai so like

idky but i though he would have been a good match for star lord

kind still iffy ish because is he young and although this is a ff i fell like he would have matched a younger role/character

also thought he would have been a good fit for shuri

can't really say much

i feel bad cus this is a bit more of a last pick

i really did want him to have a character that was more interactive with shotaro since that are really close

also thought of a cloak and dagger duo for sungtaro

again might make dome changes so lmk yall's opinion

like im tryna take this seriously and make it make sense but also im not cus again this is for funsies

Zhong Chenle as Loki

again, im sorry but another "do i even need to explain?"

boy is hella mischievous with that lil smirk he always has

when he messes around with his members, esp jisung

lmao poor jisung

like "oh yall need an illusionist you say? no problem lessgo fuck around with some bad guys"

i know he's supposed to be a lowkey two-faced, flippity floppity bad guy but idc im making him good

cus deep down loki does have a good heart

Park Jisung as Shuri

hear me out

i know he doesn't seem like the brightest but like he really is

and i know yall agree because hacker!jisung?

yeah, that's what i thought bro

considered vison for him too

and kate bishop

and groot- well like a modified hybrid version of him

big brother jeno and little brother jisung duo

yeah

just yeah

periodt

Shohei, Eunseok, and Seunghan

okay so like

im not really sure what marvel characters suit them best

im tryna stray from X-men charcters

but idk might have to make some changes

js that haechan might justbe switched to deadpool cus cmon

and as i was writing this i had a bunch of second thoughts about with members were portraying which characters

im a bit of a perfectionist as you can see

Anyways! thanks for reading this and please feedback is and will always be appreciated! again i apologized for my pace! i am currently on winter break but im working so i haven't had much time to write anything :(.

anyways comment and reblog if you wanna see what i have in mind for other SM Artist and who they'll be portraying!

-lotus

[ftm-radio]

I might just be setting myself up for a big dose of disappointment, but I really do feel like the next time I put on some trans tape it's gonna go a lot better?? last night I was lurking on the trans tape insta and i saw some of the videos where they showed different folks putting on the tape and idk I feel like something just clicked, so I'm excited!

the unfortunate thing is that I have to take off the tape I'm currently wearing before I get another go at it lmao 🥲 I'll be doing that tomorrow since the house is busy today and we have to babysit my sister's kids. and it might end up being mostly me doing it which is....... fun. :/

[rel-ish]

i need to try to draw at least one of the frames from the look up album cover later for my mental healthy

[quakeriders]

I'm afraid to ask but how's the hogwarts AU coming?

omg, don’t be. I’ve actually read through the first 6 of 23 chapters and edited them.

however, I’ve found a few things that need to be fixed and also I seem to have swapped a few characters around in the middle of writing so that needs a bit more editing. (I need to read the rest to be sure) so, it’s not ready yet, but it’s more ready than it was last week.

is that a good enough update? I’m sorry but its my baby and i want it to be at least worth the wait.

Let‘s do Sleepover Saturday

[coolspacequips]

ive had my meds in me a couple hours, and as i drink this cup of black coffee @ 10 pm... i am becoming increasingly myself lmao......

[duskittycat]

can complete strangers PLEASE stop blocking me it makes me so incredibly paranoid

[gg-astrology]

okay so sdkjsdk i just dropped by to tell you, i've been following since before you did the sun-moon combos which is not a lot of time tbh, but i've always been kinda like a silent reader i guess ? but when you did those i actually wrote you on anon telling you that i felt super identified with what you wrote for my combo (cancer sun/scorpio moon btw) and i was like ?? shocked that you answered so quick! (1/2)

so i felt super motivated to actually write you off anon to tell you how much i appreciate the effort you put into answering your asks no matter who’s the one asking! i absolutely love your blog and i always look forward to see new content in here! so yeah i guess that’s it kjsdkjsd don’t forget to rest and take proper care of yourself, drink lots of water, eat your meals and remember your wellbeing comes first! thank u for being such an amazing content creator uwu 💜💕

Eye--- mayhaps i’m crying?? ;; 💕💕💕 you are too sweet to me I’m so touched by this message like wow?? 💕💕💕💕 I-- you’re so sweet I do my best bc i know waiting for a reply is hard and I feel so so bad with all the asks here rn but im also trying to take care of my health I 🙇🏻‍♀️ thank u so much for even?? dropping by to let me know and tell me this it honestly means so much to me?? 💕💕 I lov interacting and talking to people i jus want to make sure they get what they needed tho and like,,, feedback and comments are always welcome i lov to hear from people even tho its not astro related (higher chance of me replying immediately as well since i can jus be Emotional and i dont hav to bullet point stuff out skjdn) but ;; 💕💕💕 aaahhh thank u so much! 💕 Im eating right now and also u calling me a content creator eye-- sjdnfknsknk im so FLUSTERED bc thats what i think i am but im not sure with how to categorize stuff w/ astro like are we?? content creators?? who are we and what are we doing but i always refer to myself as one and it means 💕💕💕 so much that you call me that aaaahsjnkn 💕💕

[justafandomlove]

So much anxiety, I missed so much work because of the snowstorms in Washington last week, so my paycheck is gonna be zilch and on TOP of that my mom is broke too and every single one of our bills are due this week AND I’m getting my car worked on on Friday. Haha so much for eating for the next three weeks!!!

[tiredfoxtf]

I actually could use some writing practice and write some oneshots. This would be cool.

[bakugou-ou]

Some things about my BakuShima fic.

Tonight, I had nightmares. Specifically, nightmares that I’ve written Katsuki Bakugou as having. This isn’t the first time since I wrote them, but tonight they really got to me, and I’m here to talk about some of the choices I have made as an author regarding my fic, because people ask about things, and I am tired of feeling like shit about wanting to do with my fic what I want to do with it. 

This won’t have spoilers for the ending, which we’re still a bit far off from; I originally estimated this fic would be 22 chapters, but as I work on 21, I realize now that it will probably end up being closer to 24-26 chapters due to points I want to include in the fic, have been planning to include in this fic from the beginning, and ideas I have adopted along the way.

For those who don’t want to read about the fic, or who aren’t caught up to chapter 19 yet, I’m putting this under a cut. It’s going to be long, so if you choose to read it, just be aware that there’s a lot I feel like I need to say.

With that, here are some things about my BakuShima fic, Kokoronashi.

Since this issue is most fresh in my mind due to what I mentioned above, I’ll start with it.

In chapters 18 and 19 of Kokoronashi, I wrote about Bakugou having chronic, extremely graphic nightmares. I didn’t go into great detail about those nightmares, because during the writing process I had tried to do that and ended up triggering myself with them. Knowing that some people’s threshold for gore and trauma can be even lower than mine, I made the decision to keep a bare bones yet informative description of what it was that Bakugou was seeing every night when he went to bed, rather than writing a detailed scene illustrating everything that Bakugou sees.

I didn’t want to have to update the archive tags to include gore and major character death, even if they only happened in a nightmare, and have people avoid my fic for two scenes out of two chapters in a fic that will probably end up being around 26 chapters long. But, even more than that, knowing I have a relatively high tolerance for things like this, knowing what attempting to write the scenes in full detail did to me, I couldn’t imagine putting that out there for anyone to see, people who may or may not have lower tolerances for these sorts of things than I do. I couldn’t risk triggering or traumatizing people who wanted to enjoy my fic, alienating people who have stuck with me this whole time due to two scenes out of an incredibly long fic.

So, for anyone wondering why I chose not to go into detail, to write out Bakugou’s nightmares as he had them, to give pointed descriptions of them while avoiding detailing everything about them, that is why. I’m sticking by my decision, and I kind of don’t care how anyone thinks I should have written that scene. If you wanna see that kind of stuff written out, write it yourself. I can’t do it.

Next up, we have the topic of the passage of time in this fic: up until chapter 11, I followed canon and rewrote things from Bakugou’s perspective. I made a goof because I wasn’t reading carefully enough when writing the kids moving into the dormitory, but otherwise everything is as it is in canon. Starting in chapter 11, the fic became canon divergent.

Some chapters take place in the span of a day, others take place over the course of a few days or weeks, some skip a couple months between events, one in particular takes place in the span of about an hour; the amount of time that chapters take place in varies drastically based on the points I’m trying to make with the plot. If you do not like the way I choose to pass time, write your own fic and pass the time how you want to. 

Everything I do in this fic, I do for a reason. I have had the plot pinned down since I first decided to write it, I am trying to stick to that plot, and I have already deviated significantly from it to accommodate people’s need for fluff. Originally, this fic wasn’t going to include all the cuddling that happens, or the mistletoe scene, or the massages in the bath. But, I also loved the idea of using touch to deepen Kirishima and Bakugou’s friendship, to illustrate that there are various ways in which you can support your friends, from talking to them, to touching them, to just being with them. 

As much as this is a fic about BakuShima as a ship, it’s about them as friends, too, and how as his relationship with Kirishima evolves, so do his relationships with other people. Their friendship is incredibly important to me, and setting a solid foundation for their friendship before allowing either of them to come out and say how they feel is something I believe to be really important, so I’m doing that.

The lack of detail in 18 about time passing is because Bakugou doesn’t realize how much time is passing, and what he’s missing. He is so wrapped up in his PTSD that he just isn’t present. White Day isn’t mentioned because he just isn’t aware; by that, point he isn’t talking to any of his friends anymore, everyone has stopped trying to bother him for fear of making things worse for him, no one was there to remind him that it was a thing, and Kirishima was not about to bring that up to Bakugou, who was obviously not in the mental space to deal with something like that.

The suddenness of Bakugou’s decline is also done on purpose, the lack of detail leading up to and then Bakugou’s PTSD reared its ugly head and ruined his life for about a month, and continued to interfere with it for months after that breakdown is for a reason. Sometimes, that’s just how it is for people with PTSD. I have it, I go through periods like this. Sometimes you just snap, and for someone like Bakugou, who buries his feelings and is a chronic avoider of anything he deems to show him as weak, he snapped. It was a build up throughout the fic, it was a long time coming for him, but the sudden triggering of his nightmares was a result of his thoughts that Kirishima doesn’t love him back, the stress of school, of PLE retake training, and the fact that he’s been suffering for so long from so many things that his brain just stopped working. It hits Bakugou as suddenly as it hits the reader, it literally happens overnight, and from there it’s a fast slide down a bad path. It was done for a reason.

In 19, a few weeks pass before Kirishima and Bakugou speak again. Kirishima comes to congratulate him after he passes the PLE. Kirishima thinks Bakugou is mad at him for something he said during the bath scene at the end of 18/beginning of 19, he’s keeping his distance because he blames himself for what happened, and Bakugou thinks he’s the worst person ever and avoids Kirishima because of it... But Kirishima being the ray of sunshine he is, he decides to reach out to Bakugou, and he misses Bakugou, he can’t stay away.

I didn’t include Bakugou’s 17th birthday in this fic because, as I imagined it, Bakugou is still recovering from his nightmares, from the incident with Kirishima, how he lashed out at his friends before that due to his PTSD, he’s not interested in celebrating, and while the others in the class wanted to do something for him, Kirishima, who knows him best, advised against it, knowing Bakugou wasn’t in a good place and would probably feel worse. 

So, no one made a big deal of Bakugou’s birthday, he got birthday wishes, but there was no party, no presents. People let Bakugou do what he wanted, and what he wanted was nothing. He had a quiet night in the dormitory doing homework, used his time in a manner he thought to be more productive than sitting through a party he wouldn’t have wanted even under the best of circumstances.

The next time we see Kirishima and Bakugou is after the sports festival, and I’m gonna be completely honest here: I was too lazy to write another sports festival. Horikoshi is right! Sports festival arcs are incredibly difficult to write, and the main point of what I did write about the sports festival was to illustrate the impact that one incident in the bath with Kirishima had on Kirishima, even three months after the fact, how he was still beating himself up over what happened, how he didn’t trust himself with Kirishima, how he viewed himself after it. 

A sub-point to this point, people have pointed out that I “mixed up” the timeline when it comes to the Deku vs Kacchan 2 fight and the PLE; Bakugou thinks about the exam after his fight with Deku, and Kirishima brings up the exam after the Deku vs Kacchan 2 fight on the eve of his own internship because he’s thinking about how he wished he and Bakugou were working together, because he knows how much it bothers Bakugou that he didn’t pass the exam. It’s unrelated to the actual exam itself. People are allowed to think of and speak about thing after they happen, and I left the exam out of the fic for a reason; Bakugou’s experience during the exam is left out because, to me, it wasn’t as important as his fight with Deku, though it’s still an important moment in his development. I think the aftermath of the exam is more important the exam itself, and that’s why things are written the way they are.

Large time skips in this fic are to illustrate that Bakugou has long periods where things are not okay, and to avoid boring or triggering people by going into detail about all the ins and outs of his days during those periods, I use time skips. Again, if you don’t like this, you are more than free to write your own fics and portray the passage of time as you wish. This is just how I choose to write my fic. 

Another, which kinda circles back to the idea of me wanting to prioritize BakuShima’s friendship over their romance, despite this being about Bakugou’s developing feelings, is that there is a very specific reason that I’m avoiding a kiss scene, why I have the boys get close but never seal the deal. It’s frustrating as hell, I know, I get comments screaming about it, begging for a kiss, for confessions, etc. I know that’s how most fics go, that the boys kiss and live happily ever after, but to me that’s just... Not realistic, not to any experience I’ve ever had in romance, and to my interpretation of their characters. They’ve both got issues to work through before they could even be close to the “kiss and be happy forever” point, where they’re at now ain’t it.

And, for now, my final point about the fic: I got the idea for this fic while listening to this song, and if you wanna get a better understanding of the direction this fic is heading in, why certain things have happened, read the English lyrics here. The fic loosely follows the song while exploring Bakugou’s feelings, specifically about Kirishima, but also about himself, and his relationships with other characters. Everything I do is for a reason.

If you read this far, first of all let me apologize for being so longwinded, but things have been bothering me, and I needed to say it. Especially after what happened with me having those nightmares. All of the stress that came with that particular point brought up my feelings on the other things, and I needed to put my thoughts down so that hopefully they’ll stop bothering me.

I may delete this later, I’m not sure, but for now it’s here for anyone to read.

Secondly, if you have been reading Kokoronashi and like it, thank you for supporting my writing! Or, even if you haven’t, and you’ve been reading and supporting my blog, thank you! The fact that people enjoy what I do makes me happy. If I can make other people happy with what I do, invoke emotions in other people, that makes me happy. Writing is the only thing I’m even kinda good at, so if you enjoy what I write, that’s the most I can ask for from you.

And, lastly, I swear I’m gonna get back to imagines once I’m done with the zine piece I’m currently working on, and Kokoronashi. I’ve been so busy with major writing projects, and have been thinking about giving up on writing entirely once those two things are over, that I’ve been struggling to get it together enough to revive the imagines part of this blog. But I’m gonna bring the blog back, there will be imagines, damn it! Besides, I just found out my community college here gave me the boot because I didn’t take classes this semester, so it’s not like I have to worry about school hahahahahahahaha kill me now.