#high school is nothing. i wish elementary school people would not remember me. but they always do

[alottiegoingon]

art fair

jackie taylor x fem!reader

summary: jackie taylor is the elementary school's art teacher.

warnings: too much fluff, jackie and reader being adorable, not proofread

you weren't expecting to stay for any longer than five days this time. that was the initial plan and the words you had said to your parents on the phone before you arrived to wiskayok, new jersey.

the second high school was over, you took the first bus to new york and never looked back. okay, never was a strong word. despite the strong feeling you had to free yourself from the place where you had an awful time in high school, sometimes you would come back to visit your family and your sister, in special.

not wanting to miss her growing up, you had to work extra shifts on the bookstore to pay for a decent looking car, capable of going back and forth from new jersey to new york twice in a month.

now, it was an special occasion. for her 8th birthday, you promised her that you would spend the week in your family home and spend time doing fun things. and by fun things, she meant fun things for her.

the first thing you were asked as soon as you put your feet inside was "what did you get me?"

after wishing your sister a happy birthday and watching her open her present, you sink into the couch with drowsy eyes after some good two hours driving, feeling exhausted. you were so tired that you weren't even paying attention to what the small human full of energy was chattering around you.

"what do you think we should do first? we can go roller skating!"

"bug, i hate roller skating. you know that." god, you remember the last time you fell on your face. you wore a purple eyes for weeks.

"...or we could go get me new books! mom promised me you would go out with me." she keeps talking, not paying attention to you. that was going to be a very long week.

the very next day, you could barely open your eyes when your sister forced you to wake up early and drive her to school, affirming that it was part of the birthday package you promised her even though you didn't actually recall that

[🎨]

you had the brilliant idea to go straight home after dropping the kid at school and sleep for the rest of the day. or until she got home with quick loud steps and a vibrant high-pitched voice.

your great idea fell apart when you were effectively blackmailed by a tiny human dragging you to her classroom, excited to show you everything. you weren’t even sure if you were allowed in there but you followed her anyway.

"that's cool, bug! you did that?" you encouraged her regardless of the many screams of the other kids hurting your ears, right after seeing the paint strokes in a small canvas forming the figure of a person. for a eight year old, the kid had some actual talent. it was better than what you could do.

she nods, extremely proud of herself. "ms. taylor is teaching us how to paint for next week's art fair. you’re coming, right?"

five days. five days was all you could do. it was a pain in the ass to convince your boss to let you skip work for a week and you only managed to do it cause she was a friend of the family. more than that and you would turn into a jobless woman.

“i’ll see what i can do, alright?” you get on your knees to match her height. “now i’m gonna go home and later we can watch…” your voice trails off when your attention is stolen by a woman entering the classroom.

wearing baggy and colorful clothes with glasses that made her look even more attractive, she had a few books threatening to fall from her hands and loose paper sheets. nothing like the old women you used to have for a teacher when you were young.

“good morning, party people! sorry i’m late today.” she doesn’t seem to notice you, too busy and overwhelmed while organizing her desk. she was probably used to be surrounded by loud gremlins all the time, you thought.

she was about to say something but her lips closed after not even a second, knitted brows and an uncertain but polite grin painted on her face. “oh, and i think we have a visitor today.”

and your world fully stops when she looks at you. flushed cheeks as you were practically drooling.

“that’s my sister, she's visiting for my birthday!” the little one fills the awkward silence, not looking like she cares about your unexpected loss of words.

“aw, this is so sweet.” she frowns for a second and all of sudden, her eyes are on you “and are you having a good time down there?” she chuckles, causing your heart to skip a beat, and only then you notice your knees hurting. you were still on the floor, looking like a full time idiot. you hear the other kids the room laughing as well.

“yeah, i was just… tying her shoes.” you stand on your feet as quickly as possible, nearly losing balance.

“no, you weren’t. my shoes don’t have-.” your hand flies over your sister direction to cover her mouth.

your legs were feeling like thin sticks as you walked towards the light haired woman, extending your hand to her. “hi, sorry.” you said falteringly.

“it’s all good. i like to stay on the floor sometimes too.” she offers you an empathetic smile. “i’m jackie.” she finally shakes your hand.

“jackie.” you echo her, subtly shaking your head. it felt like you were absorbing her name into your soul. even her name sounded like something that could be in a movie. “hi. i’m-“

“i know. your sister talks a lot about you. but i guess i wasn’t expecting you to be like this.” you freeze again.

“like what?" your voice trembles as you ask.

she didn’t say anything but you feel her eyes wandering around you while she smiles.

jackie gave you an excuse, apologizing for interrupting the conversation but emphasizing how she desperately needed to start the class. she was already late and you felt bad for taking so much of her time.

“it was nice to finally meet you.” is all she says and you made sure to say it back. before walking through the door, you quickly wave at your sister, not wanting to disrupt them anymore.

you immediately gave up on the idea of sleeping for the entire day. how could you when you had just met jackie taylor?

overthinking everything was like a piece of cake for you, as easy as blinking. but it wasn't hard to overthink things when jackie's first impression of you was probably a terrible one, knees on the floor and making a fool of yourself.

you were happy to welcome your sister back home from school, disregarding the fact that she told your parents that you were drooling over her art teacher on your damn knees. how can kids remember so much?

wanting to know more about her very interesting teacher, with ice cream for dinner, you succeeded in finding out that jackie taylor wasn't a married woman.

"why do you wanna know that?" you struggle to understand the few mumbles thanks to her stuffing her mouth with ice cream.

"okay, i think you had enough." you whisper, slowly moving the bowl away and ignoring her question.

[🎨]

for the next two days, between a bookstore visit or going out for ice cream, you would give jackie taylor a thought. not because you cared or was interested, of course, you were just curious. and you wanted to fix the impression you made on her.

"are you driving me today?" was the question you were asked every morning.

too tired, too sleepy, too early, bad headache, terrible cramps. were all the excuses you gave her so you could have a few more hours of sleep. until the third day.

"school is starting soon!"

"hmm, i don't know if i'm taking you... i'm feeling so-"

"ms. taylor's class is the first one today." you notice her playful tone. she knew you too well.

"good. i'm actually feeling so good today." fast as the wind, you shoot out of the bed.

"you don't have to walk me there anymore. i'm not a baby." the eight year old complains as she notices you following her inside.

"sure, i know. i just wanna make sure you're safe." that wasn't a full lie. yes, you were looking forward to talk to jackie again, but you still cared about your sister.

[🎨]

you were fifteen minutes earlier that the actual class time and by the time you walk into the room, jackie was already there. with your sister going straight to talk to her friends, that was your chance.

"good morning." you timidly knock on the halfway open door, not wanting to scare her.

"hello there!" jackie closes the book that was laying on her big desk in front of her, fixing her gaze on you. lips curving upward. "not tying any shoes this morning?" standing up, she adjusts her slightly crooked glasses as she watches you get closer.

"not today, no. too hard to find any customers." you join her tease, feeling like you have been blessed as she laughs.

"you should try the art exhibition next week. lots of shoes to tie in there." you caught yourself thinking that she may be flirting with you but maybe you were just going crazy for drinking so much coffee lately.

"i would love to tie some stranger's shoes on a school event." playing along, all you could think was that you urgently had to stay for more than just five days. time to beg your boss twice.

"nice! i'll see you there, then." about to end the conversation, jackie's smile widens and the simple act almost makes you fall on your knees again.

"actually..." you fight to not stumble over your words as you create the fastest excuse ever to see her again. "my sister and i are going out for roller skating tomorrow. you should join us."

jackie's gaze lifts back at you, eyebrows raising in curiosity.

"why should i?" she had the casual smirk adorning her face, probably enjoying this entire situation much more than you.

"because... we're going to a park nearby and there's a few tables in there. what's greater to an art teacher than a pretty view to paint?" you were quite proud of how quick your mind worked.

jackie seems to take a brief moment to think about your words, even though she had already made her mind minutes ago.

"it's a deal."

"what? you hate skating. remember when you had a purple eye? that was funny." you turn around to find your sister standing by the door, giggling at the memory of your swollen face. jesus, for how long she was in there?

[🎨]

you met jackie at the park after spending the entire day double-checking your helmet and all of your safety equipment. you couldn't afford to fall again. not this time.

with a huge bag and many art supplies, jackie carefully placed everything on the picnic table while being squeezed in a hug by your sister. the first thing you noticed was how jackie dressed the exact same way out of school. free of any boring clothes and with no glasses this once.

"you actually came." you shyly mirror her grin.

"of course i did. i need to paint something for the fair and i thought that the good old blue sky and pretty trees would do the job."

"so an empty canvas is what made you come?" nervously, your eyes dart back and forth at the brushes on the pine table and her eyes.

"not just that. i think the companny is pretty rad too."

after feeding the ducks with your sibling, you joined jackie by sitting in front of her. she appeared to be so relaxed even when being so gentle and cautious with the paint. you couldn't help but feeling at ease as well.

"found something worthy of being painted by you?"

jackie looks at you over the canvas with rosy cheeks and a contented smirk, affirming with her head. "i think i did."

"it's nice of you to stay longer." her narrowed focused eyes are back on her work, sometimes meeting yours.

you didn't remember telling jackie that it wasn't on your initial plan to stay that long and as if she was capable of reading minds, she snorts before explaining herself.

"she told me you wouldn't be here for the art exhibition." her head points at your sister, skating around the small lake.

"she really does talk a lot about me." you joke, referring to what jackie said when you first met her.

"why did you?" eyes locked on the piece of work, jackie tries to sound unbothered.

"stay longer?" she agrees silently.

"i figured that i really like art. and i couldn't miss such an important event for her."

"so your love for art was what made you stay?" jackie questioned and, once or twice, you would catch her more concerned glance at you.

"not just that. i think the art teacher is pretty rad too."

in the middle of longing stares and jackie blushing for the first time, you hear a childish voice calling you.

"aren't you coming? you're so boring!"

snapping out of the jackie taylor effect, you realized that you still haven't fulfilled your promise to skating with your sister.

jackie, not worried about the painting anymore, quickly put on her rollers with a huge beaming expression. without a single effort to stay still on those things, you became aware of how experienced she was.

"come on, i'll help you out." standing in front of you, she offers you a hand and you don't wait much to accept it.

[🎨]

you were a nervous wreck when the big day came and it wasn't even your works that were going to be exposed to people. in honor of jackie, you tried to wear something formal like a nice looking suit and elegant shoes. a bit too much for a simple school event but it was much more than that to you.

at school, you were surrounded by an impressive quantity of paintings already framed on walls. some of them were adorable, made by younger students.

being pulled by your sleeves, you spend a few minutes in the area where your sibling's works were hanging in and seeing her so happy made you pleased to your decision to stay.

with a single poppy in hands, you find jackie talking to someone, probably a parent. at the exact moment your eyes met, she quickly excuse herself from the conversation to walk towards you with energetic steps.

"all of this looks amazing. you look amazing." is all you can say, not caring about the ear to ear grin on your lips.

"hi! you look great too. i like the suit. so fancy." her hand tenderly brushes over your shoulder, feeling the soft fabric of your clothes.

"it's a special occasion, right? and, here, i got you something."

jackie's face radiates happiness at the second she sees her favorite flower being handled to her, eyes sparkling at you.

"thank you! how did you know i like them?" she tucks the flower into her hair, prettier than ever.

"you know, she talks a lot." you two share a laugh. "aren't you gonna show me your work?"

as her silky hands covered your eyes from behind you, she guides you to the wall with all of her artworks.

"you ready?" your nod in response and she let go of your eyes.

as soon as you open them, one specific framed canvas catches your attention. it was jackie's first view from when she was sitting at the picnic table the other day. you and your sister feeding the ducks on the lake, with the exact same clothes you were wearing. there was no doubt.

"jackie..." you gasp, stunned, jaw almost hitting the floor.

"you like it? i thought it would be something worthy to paint." she's nervous. you can hear her shaky voice as she speaks.

instead of saying something, you spin around to face jackie behind you. with trembling hands, you trace her jawline before pulling her in for a kiss.

you were a big fan of art now.

[ambrossart]

hi! hope you’re having an amazing year so far! I miss your posts so much I thought I’d start sending more asks lol. I was just wondering if you have any head cannons for any of the characters that might not make it into the story you’d wanna share? anyways, wishing you the best!

Ohhhh please do (only if you want, of course, no pressure)! Asks like this always stir up new ideas for the story. Plus they’re usually a lot of fun.

This one, I’ll admit, is a bit tricky for me, though because:

1) most of my headcanons (are they technically headcanons if I’m the author? 🤔) will be used in the story and I don’t wanna spoil anything. That’s no fun.

2) I feel like I’ve already hinted at or posted about the other ones.

3) I’d rather hear all YOUR headcanons 👀

But I’ll do my best!

Henry

- His birthday is in May (I’m pretty sure I just used Nick’s birthday because I was too lazy to come up with a new date 🤫)

- I’m sure I’ve said this one before, but he was held back once, in the 6th grade.

- Did Henry allow himself to get held back on purpose? Definitely. There was no way Henry was moving on to high school while Evelyn was still in elementary school. He was thrilled to be in the same grade as her.

- He struggles a lot with reading and writing. That’s his biggest hurdle in school. Otherwise he would be an average student.

- He’s not stupid and he really hates when people question or mock his intelligence.

- Let’s be real, Henry hates being mocked and teased period. But that is a special trigger for him.

- He hasn’t had a proper home-cooked meal since his mom left. 😢

- Most of his dinners come from a can. And sometimes they’re not even meals, just random cans of beans or vegetables.

- He also makes a lot of sandwiches. Nothing fancy.

- Occasionally, Charlene Huggins will bring him leftovers from the restaurant where she works.

- Yeah, Belch’s mom has a soft spot for Henry. Probably because she’s known him for so long.

- Tabitha Criss absolutely cannot stand him, but she tolerates him for her son’s sake.

Patrick

- His birthday is the same as in the movie, February 4th, so he will be turning 18 at some point in the story.

- His dad moved out sometime after the whole animals-in-the-fridge situation.

- He’s recently remarried but still financially supports his first wife and son.

- He just couldn’t bear to stay in that house anymore.

- (Or is there another reason?) 👀

- Patrick doesn’t enjoy most things, so he doesn’t really have a favorite anything.

- He has gotten his hands on a few snuff films, though, and finds them very… stimulating.

- He truly doesn’t remember his first kiss. It left zero impact on him. Might’ve been with a girl. Might’ve been with a guy. Who the hell knows. 🤷🏻‍♀️

- He lost his virginity at a shockingly young age. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

Victor

- His birthday is in April, so he’s almost 6 months younger than Evelyn.

- Victor hasn’t had a birthday party since he was a little kid and his parents forced him to have them. He hates being the center of attention.

- Victor likes his routines. He hates surprises or having things sprung on him at the last minute.

- So he wasn’t flirting when he requested Evelyn give him advanced notice before coming over.

- Okay, he wasn’t just flirting.

- He really does appreciate the heads-up.

- Victor doesn’t know how to ride a bike. He was terrified of looking stupid while learning, so he never bothered to try.

- That’s why he never tried sports as a kid. He doesn’t like trying new things.

- He’s very picky about his food. There’s a lot of foods he simply won’t touch for various reasons.

- His mother knows his preferences and tries her best to cater to them.

- He’s never slept over at a friend’s house before. He simply can’t sleep in unfamiliar places.

- He hasn’t had his first kiss yet and he doesn’t really care. It’s not something he’s dying to do.

Belch

- Belch’s birthday is in October, same as Evelyn’s, so he’ll be turning 17 soon! 🥳

- He also got held back in elementary school. He had to repeat the 5th grade due to poor performance.

- His weakest subjects are math and English. Strongest subjects are phys ed, shop, and surprisingly, home ec.

- He took the class to meet girls… or at least that’s what he tells his friends.

- Henry was Belch’s first and only friend for most of his childhood. That’s why he feels so indebted to him.

- He’s had a distant but friendly relationship with Victor since elementary school, but they didn’t really start hanging out until high school.

- He introduced Victor to Henry and was shocked when Henry so quickly accepted Vic into the group.

- Belch keeps in contact with Moose Sadler and Gard Jagermeyer… or at least he used to. It’s been a while since he last heard from them. Weird.

- Christie Gibson is not Belch’s first girlfriend. He had one other before her, but she dumped him after a week.

- A lot of girls have expressed interest in him… for his car, anyway. He was the first in his grade to get his driver's license.

- His mother is an assistant manager at a local restaurant. She works long, long hours and rarely takes a day off.

- In case it wasn’t already obvious, Belch and his mother are very close. He considers her his best friend.

Misc.

- Lenny Arkins is on the hockey team. He’s a goalie.

- For a while, Paul Colborne thought Evelyn Tozier had a massive crush on him.

- When Paul first moved to Derry, Evelyn was the first to greet him and was always inviting him to hang out after school.

- His theory was debunked when the next new kid came along.

- Paul was very relieved. He wasn’t sure how to let her down gently.

- Lenny also thought Evelyn had a crush on him at one point.

- Boys often mistake Evelyn’s natural friendliness for romantic interest.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA in this friendship? give me a minute here, it's more complicated than it sounds

I'm 19 years old, female. So there's this friend, we'll call her B (also 19F). We've been friends for years, since elementary. We've been good friends for that time, I thought.

But especially during high school, it was hard to spend time with her. She was always convinced the friend group hated her even though all I'd ever hear was that they liked her and were confused/frustrated/hurt as to why she thought that. She's always had a lot of mental illness going on (depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc) so I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. She spent most of her time in another part of the school refusing to spend time with me or the friend group saying she wanted "alone time" even though she was surrounded by other friends.

I knew she was feeling unwanted within the friend group, so I tried to spend time with her when she would let me. But it kind of alienated me from the rest of the friend group so I spent a good portion of my lunches alone. Plus, even though she would say its ok for me to be there, sometimes it felt like she hated me and my presence. But then she would turn around and tell me I was the only one she could be truly honest with, etc, etc.

The reason I tried not to pay too much heed to the idea that she might really hate being my friend is because I also struggle with anxiety pretty badly. I've been working really really hard to just listen to what people tell me, because I can't trust what I'm telling me.

But this feeling continued after high school, and it felt like there was something I didn't know, like she secretly hated me and only put up with me.

Almost every time I would invite her to do something, she would try to invite someone else too. That's fine, but when it happens almost every time... it made me feel like I was unwanted.

I got really clingy. I'll admit that. I texted her often (most days a week) and would get anxious when she didn't respond within a couple of hours, leading to me double, triple texting most of the time. She told me not to text her during work, but how am I supposed to know for sure? She told me her hours once, but I have no record of it and I don't expect her to memorize my schedule so I feel like that's unfair. Plus, if I didn't press for an answer, I often wouldn't get one at all or wouldn't get one for days. Like one time I tried to schedule a time to hang out a few weeks in advance. She told me she would get back to me, but then the day before, still nothing. I texted over and over again, trying to get an answer, until she got mad at me for texting so much and told me she didn't think hanging out would work out. But the point is I got clingy, in a way that I understand made her anxious.

My anxiety got the better of me and I decided to stop contacting her. I held to it for a couple of months, aside from wishing her happy christmas/new years. But my birthday came and went for the second year in a row without a word, and I decided I needed to talk to her about it.

I did, and although she refused to do it in person like I wanted, I thought it was a pretty good conversation. She told me about a couple things I was doing to make her uncomfortable. I promised to work on those and being less clingy. I told her I need her to be honest about the things that bother her, and she said she needed time to work on that skill. She said she was thinking a month, maybe less, so i agreed not to contact her first during that time and she promised to contact me soon.

I didn't hear from her for three months. I finally broke down and texted her, asking to talk it out and telling her this arrangement wasn't working for me. She didn't respond for almost a week. I needed peace of mind, so I said I was done with waiting and I would be open to rekindling the friendship later, but I wasn't going to hold my foot in the door for her any longer. No response again.

I remembered I owed her money and asked her when would be a good time to drop it off (it was not like five bucks, it was a fair amount of money so I didn't want to like leave it on a doorstep or something). No response again for a day. I told her if I didn't hear from her in a couple of days I was going to keep the money.

She finally responded a day later, saying she didn't have the energy for a "high maintenance" friendship and to leave the money in her mailbox.

I don't know who was at fault here. I mean, I was clingy and I ended the friendship, but she didn't give me a chance to change and didn't stick to her word. But I don't know if contacting her again after those three months was clingy? I really don't know, and the end of this friendship has been tormenting me. I just want to know who was at fault and then I can deal with it, but I honestly don't know.

Also, WIBTA for contacting B again and trying to rekindle the friendship?

Please do not ask multiple questions in a single submission. It just confuses things and makes it hard for people to vote in the poll.

[superlarva]

They're totally paying attention! :)

Welp, I'm starting to think I don't know what day Sunday is...

Regardless, here's Chapter 9 - School Visit of Raising Dominoes.

Prologue: 00 Previous chapter: 08 Next chapter: 10

Summary: Rex and Fives visit the local elementary school.

CW: Implied/referenced child abuse, a very minor curse (I wouldn't really consider it a curse, but just to be careful... also, it's said in narration, not dialogue)

Chapter 9 – School Visit

“I want to see Echo.”

“I know, bud,” Rex sighed, trying not to let the exasperation show in his voice.

Fives had been at it since he woke, refusing to move, eat, or say anything that did not express his want for his twin. Now they sat in the elementary school parking lot, two hours late for their appointment with the principal.

“Fives?”

The boy did not stir from his position curled up in his car seat.

“Fives, look at me,” Rex said, exhaustion allowing some of his usual sternness to slip into his tone.

The kid’s shoulders tensed and his eyes reluctantly wandered over to Rex’s.

“We are going to go see Echo as soon as his doctor tells me it’s safe to see him, okay?”

“Want Echo n-now,” Fives whispered.

His words lacked the high-pitched whiney quality Rex had been expecting and he blinked dumbly, taken aback. The last thing Rex wanted to do was keep the brothers apart. He knew the feeling that accompanied the separation from one you admire, trust, need. He knew the feeling well, and he would not wish it on his worst enemy, let alone his child.

Rex slumped back into the seat and began unconsciously picking at the sleeve of his jacket, mind whirring and leg bouncing erratically, “When- when I was your age, me and your Uncle Cody—er, Cody and I—we, uh, didn’t really have a mom or dad to take care of us.”

Rex paused to take a breath, still unsure where exactly he was going with this story. He could feel Fives’s eyes boring into him and he squirmed, unable to meet the boy’s gaze, “We got sent to a lot of different homes where different people would, uh, take care of us, but sometimes… sometimes they would split us up. Sometimes we wouldn’t go together.”

Rex stole a quick glance at Fives. The boy was staring, waiting for him to continue. Rex attempted a smile, but could not help but feel like it more resembled a grimace. He sighed, hands moving to fidget with the zipper of his jacket, “Every time they separated us, I felt so lost and powerless. There was nothing- nothing I could do, and I never knew when I would be able to see Cody again. And- and I hated it. It was the worst feeling.”

Rex turned to meet Fives’s eyes, “So, I get it. I really do. I know you want to see Echo. I want to see him too. If I could do anything I wanted, I’d bring you to him right now.”

“…you would?” Fives asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“I would.”

“I-I don’t want to go without Echo,” Fives mumbled, turning his attention towards the elementary school.

“We have to go take a look at the school because I told them we were coming and they are all super excited to meet you,” Rex said, starting to regret his decision to not include Fives when he and Cody called the school to set up a meeting and tour. “It’s going to be really fun. They’re going to show you around and tell you about all the cool things you’re going to learn.”

Fives made a face, “Echo should be here. Not me.”

Rex felt as if he had just been stabbed in the heart, “No. No, you should be here.”

Fives scoffed and turned his head so his face was obscured from Rex’s view.

“No, Fives, listen to me. You should be here. Echo should be here too, but you should be here. I- you-” Rex sighed, letting his head fall into his hands. He wished Cody were here. He would know what to say.

Cut would know what to say too. He had kids. Little rascals, if Rex remembered correctly. He had to make everything into a game for those kids to do anything. Putting away dishes: who can stack them the neatest? Time to get in the car: who can get there the fastest?

A game.

Of course.

Rex lifted his head out of his hands, “If we go in and take the tour and you remember what they tell you, then when we go see Echo this weekend, you can tell him all about it. Think he would like that?”

Fives turned to face Rex again and hesitated, eyes searching Rex’s for something, before nodding seriously.

Rex smiled, “Sounds like a deal.”

The secretary had them wait on a bench outside the principal’s office until he was ready for them. Given the fact that they had arrived later than expected, Rex had thought the principal would leave them waiting, but almost as soon as they sat, the door opened.

“Good afternoon, young one. I am Mr. Plo Koon,” A tall man that Rex recognized as the principal of the school greeted, smiling down fondly at Fives.

The boy jumped to his feet and stood stiff as a board, almost as if he were standing at attention, “G-good afternoon, Mr. Plo Koon, s-sir.”

The principal’s smile deepened, “My, what lovely manners. You must be Fives?”

Fives nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“Many of the students here call me Mr. Plo, but ‘Mr. Plo Koon’ or ‘sir’ is alright too if that’s what you’re comfortable with.”

“Oh-Okay Mr.- Mr.-” Fives looked up at Rex uncertainly.

Rex nodded and smiled encouragingly.

Fives turned back to the principal, “Okay, Mr. Plo.”

“Very good,” Plo said, beaming down at Fives and clasping his hands together. He then shut the door to his office and began leading them down the hall, “Shall we begin our tour?”

The school was nice. It had clearly been remodeled a few years ago as it had a very modern interior design and was relatively free from wear and tear that would denote that it was the home of tiny grade schoolers for eight hours a day.

They were shown the cafeteria, auditorium, gym, library, and the rooms for the various different extracurricular activities like art and music, all of which Fives marveled at for their large open spaces, walls and walls of books, or amenities.

Mr. Plo was clearly taking pleasure in Fives’s wonder and Rex could not help but enjoy the boy’s delight as well. He was glad that the tour had allowed his mind to wander from Echo, even if just for the good part of an hour.

At the end of the tour, they circled back around and stopped outside of one of the classrooms they had passed on the way to the library. Plo turned to address Rex and Fives, “This one of our second-grade classrooms. If you want, the teacher of this class volunteered to let us sit in on a few minutes so that you could see what it would be like to go here. Would you like that?”

Fives nodded eagerly.

The principal smiled and opened the door. Fives bounded in after him and Rex followed quickly, pulling the door shut behind them.

When Rex looked up he found a class full of 7 year old twisting around in their desks trying to get a good look at him and Fives. The class was eerily quiet and Rex was thankful when the teacher standing at the front broke the silence, “Good afternoon, Principal Plo.”

Mr. Plo nodded, “Good afternoon, 99. Good afternoon, second grade.”

The teacher—99—led the class in a chorus of “Good afternoon, Principal Plo” as Plo ushered them to an empty table in the corner of the class.

Once they were seated, 99 resumed his lesson and Rex scanned the classroom. It was as well put together as the rest of the school. It was bright and colorful, and there was plenty of stimulus for young children.

Rex also got a better look at 99. At first from his voice, stature, and the wrinkles lining his face, Rex had thought the man old like his name, but as he looked closer, he realized the man was not elderly, just had some sort of facial deformity. Perhaps a muscle one as well, as he looked awfully thin and hunched over oddly as he walked.

The children in the class appeared to be engaged and attentive, save for a group of similar-looking boys in the other back corner.

The big bald boy was playing with a toy half hidden under his desk, his face lighting up with joy occasionally from his own, internal musings. His stature was intimidating for a seven-year-old, but such an innocence played out in his eyes that Rex had to believe the kid would not hurt a fly. At least, not on purpose.

The second boy had long wavy hair, pushed back by a red bandana. He was staring out the window, boredom etched across his features. Rex thought he looked a little like Cody when he was fed up someone’s bullshit.

The scrawny one with glasses appeared to be scribbling notes in the margins of a book. He might have been taking notes on 99’s instructions, but Rex doubted it, as no other children had books out to take notes in and the boy was hunched over it like it was the only thing that existed.

The fourth boy was sleeping. Wispy white hair sticking out in all directions as his head rested on his folded arms across the desk. Even through the oversized hoodie Rex could tell by the boy’s pointy elbows that he practically had Fives and Echo beat for the “most emaciated kid of the week” award.

Mr. Plo noticed the direction of Rex’s gaze and gave him a small nudge, “Those are the quadruplets. They transferred here this year. Bit of a special case, those boys. Not so different from yours, perhaps.”

Rex took one last look at the brothers before turning his attention back to 99’s mini lecture. He hoped Fives and Echo would behave differently from those boys at school. He hoped they would at least try to pay attention.

After sitting in on 99’s lesson, Mr. Plo lead them back to his office and had them sit across the desk from him. He laced his fingers together and leaned his elbows on the desk, smiling warmly at Fives, “Did you enjoy the tour?”

The boy nodded, “Mm-hmm!”

“I’m glad,” Plo glanced quickly over at Rex, then turned his attention back to Fives, “Now, your father told me that you’ve never been to school before, is that true?”

Fives looked to Rex before cautiously letting out a small “uh-huh.”

“Okay, that’s alright. Would it be okay if I asked you a few questions?”

“What kind of questions?”

“Well, your dad told me you were really good at math, so I wanted to ask you some math questions. Then we might play a couple games. Is that alright?”

Fives’s brow crinkled and his eyes darted between Mr. Plo and Rex. From the look Rex didn’t doubt Fives knew this was a test, but the boy eventually shrugged and muttered a quiet affirmative.

Fives made it all the way through to multiplication before he started having problems answering the principal’s questions. He clearly did not know his times tables, but from what Rex could remember, that still meant he was on track for second grade.

After the math questions Mr. Plo pulled out a few logic puzzles and had Fives complete them. Fives seemed to do so without difficulty, filling in the picture with the correct puzzle pieces and picking the right color to finish the pattern.

The principal seemed quite pleased with the boy as he put the puzzles away, “You did a very good job, Fives. I just have one more question for you if that’s okay.”

Fives nodded, though Rex could not help but notice that the kid looked tired.

Mr. Plo slid a piece of paper and a pencil across the table, “Could you write your name for me?”

The boy visibly deflated a bit, but he said nothing and reached out, gripping the pencil awkwardly. At first Rex had no clue what Fives was writing; the lines were large and wobbly, curving in places they should not. By the time the boy got to the second vaguely “s” shaped letter, Rex realized what “name” he had been writing and reached out gently to still Fives’s arm.

Large brown eyes looked up at Rex in confusion.

“Fives…” Rex started softly, “That’s your other name. Could you spell ‘Fives’ for us?”

Fives squirmed in his seat, looking down at the paper for a long moment before meeting Rex’s eyes, “This is the only one I’ve seen before.”

“Okay, that’s okay,” Rex whispered, and he honestly was not sure if that was for his son’s benefit or his own. He reached out and flipped the paper over, “Do you know what letter ‘Fives’ starts with?”

The boy opened his mouth to respond, but no sound came out. The room was so quiet Rex could practically hear the tears welling in Fives’s eyes before he saw them. He sprung into action, scooping up the already shaking boy and shushing him softly, hoping to stay the torrent of “I’m sorry”s that were sure to follow.

“It’s okay,” Rex soothed, shooting an apologetic look to Plo before turning his attention back to Fives. “It’s alright if you don’t know. Nobody’s mad. I’m not mad. Mr. Plo’s not mad. It’s okay.”

Fives sniffled against Rex, but Rex could tell the boy was already calming down, his breathing slowing to his usual rhythm.

Rex set Fives back down in his seat, but kept his hand on the boy's shoulder, “Today was a tough day, but you did a really good job, okay? A really good job. I’m proud of you.”

Fives wiped at his eyes, his ears turning a bit red as he mumbled a shy thanks.

Mr. Plo cleared his throat, “Thank you so much for answering my questions, Fives.”

The boy nodded.

Plo continued, “I would like to place you in the class that we sat in on today, if that sounds good to you. The other children will be your age and will be on similar levels in most subjects.”

The principal paused and studied Fives, “Now, Fives, you’re a smart boy and you’re probably going to notice that the other kids in your class are better at reading than you, but can I tell you a secret?”

Fives frowned and looked from Rex to Mr. Plo.

Plo leaned over the desk and lowered his voice conspiratorially, “Your intuition and logic skills are beyond those of many children twice your age.”

Fives shifted in his seat, “R-really?”

The principal nodded, “It’s quite impressive. You'll be reading in no time.”

Fives left the school with higher spirits than when he had entered and that was enough to convince Rex it was the right place to send the twins. As he was setting up for Fives to start the next week and for Echo to start after the holiday break his phone rang.

It was Kix.

"What?" Fives asked after Rex hung up.

Rex smiled, "Go get in the car, we're going to go see your brother."

@marierg @stressed-cherry @ffdemon @renton6echo @bambambunny @tearfulsolace @rndmpeep @brokenphoenix99 @nerdy-valkyrie @xylionet @tazmbc1 @eyayah123 @the-bad-batch-baroness @sarcastic-nebula @ihaventpickedausername @sexysmeagolshitposting @emma-1409 @marcadamia

[quinnyundertow]

Can I ask what got you into writing? I love your writing style and I'm so curious about your process as well.

This is such a sweet ask. I love it. This may be way more than what you were expecting haha. But I’m alone in the hospital and this feels cathartic.

I’ve always loved to write since I can remember. When I was in elementary school I remember getting yelled at and crying because I had to write a story about a thanksgiving turkeys adventure and mine was like twenty pages. They said it was too long and hurry up and I was frustrated because I wasn’t done!

I think what really solidified my love for writing is I needed fantasy to escape. In middle and early high school my parents divorced and I was bullied relentlessly. Gum put in my hair, things thrown at me, called fat at every opportunity. I had teachers that bullied me too for being fat. I was SA’d multiple times, depressed and started cutting. I’ve honestly tried to block most of it out.

The point is I had found anime and a few friends who loved it too. So any opportunity I had I begged friends to do writing journals with me. We’d make up a crack fic plots then write self insert and pass a notebook back and forth between classes every chapter for the next person to write. We wrote for Yugioh, Naruto, Dragonball Z, Fruits Basket popular ones at the time. I also wrote poetry, fanfics and original stories to try and escape anyway I could. Writing was the highlight of my teenage years. But other than that it was hell and you could never pay me enough money to repeat them.

I dropped out of Highschool from the bullying and my depression. But I studied and took a test for Highschool equivalency and then went to college and got straight As. College is nothing like Highschool. No one cares what you do. At least in my experience. I wanted to be a writer or manga artist but my father told me I wasn’t good enough and I wish I wouldn’t have taken it to heart and listened. I stopped writing for like ten years except for periodic ideas in notebooks until this last November.

Jujutsu Kaisen had become my comfort anime and then chapter 236 happened. I was so depressed I decided to try and read fanfics again. I’ve always read a lot of published books and was staggered to see a ton of fanfic writers were just as good if not better than published writers. After reading a ton of amazing works I decided I needed a fix it story that was ultimately happy for JJK and here we are.

Sorry if this was boring or too much. But if you take away something from this take this. Life is always changing. Tomorrow will not be the same as today. That much is guaranteed. If you have nothing left to live for then you have nothing to lose by trying something crazy or new. I was broken down to nothing by bullies, family issues, mental and physical health and I was incredibly suicidal. Somehow I found the will to try again. I got on depression and anxiety medication (still on to this day), worked for a higher education and took a shitty paying job to claw my way back up. My life is far from perfect but despite everything I worked hard to now have a boss babe high paying career and after restarting writing and meeting you all I’ve never been happier.

As far as a writing process I pretend I’m not going to post what I write and write it just for me. I ask myself what do I think would be the coolest thing to happen? What would I want to see next? Then I write it. Most of the time it sucks, or I don’t feel like writing it but I force it out. I make myself sit for 15 minutes and just write something. Then I rewrite it. Keep what parts I liked toss what feels off. Repeat. Eventually I’m having fun and loving the process.

When rewriting I’ll name them things like WICYG Chapter 12.2 for the second rewrite etc. I’ll screen shot my google doc so you can see the insanity haha. Sometimes I’ll rewrite four plus times. At the end of the day I want to love what I write and do it for me. Then when I find people that like it too it makes me over the moon happy. I hope one day to have the confidence to write my original stories in my head out. Writing fics for yall has definitely helped build my confidence as a writer.Thanks again for the ask anon sorry for the life story but I’ve never told people all that and it was healing to get out.

My messy google docs 🥹 Madhouse is Sanity Last Stop lol.

[katsona-the-katsequel]

Ken Amada's Infantilization Plan

Next up is Ken's story!

___________________________________________

"It's fine! It has nothing to do with you, Junpei!"

This was the first floor of the Iwatodai dormitory, a facility for Gekkoukan High School. A loud voice could be heard from the lounge and everyone turned to look in confusion. The voice belonged to Ken Amada of Gekkoukan Elementary School. Beside him, Junpei was sporting a nasty grin.

"No, it does have something to do with me. Listen, Amada. You're still a kid, but I can totally understand your desire to act like an adult. I remember that too."

"I'm not trying to act like an adult or anything...!"

"Well, listen. If people don't get to enjoy being a kid as much as they can during their childhood, they end up becoming distorted."

"Like Junpei-san?"

"Ugh, that's not what a kid would say!"

Apparently, in response to Amada's usual mature attitude, Junpei was acting like a kid.

It seemed like trouble.

"To begin with, I think Junpei is too childish. Shouldn't I learn from Sanada and Mitsuru's calmness?"

"It's fine. I mean, I'm just really worried..."

"Worried?"

Amada had turned his face away in a sulky mood at Junpei's unusually serious tone, but he finally seemed ready to listen and softened his tone.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you always come home straight after school without stopping anywhere, and when I thought you'd gone out somewhere, you went to the shrine by yourself. Normally, someone your age would hang out with friends, right? I'm starting to get a bit worried."

"That is...·"

Amada himself understood Junpei's worries. It's true that right now, he didn't have the mental space to lose himself and play with his classmates. This was because of his stoic resolve to make the cherished wish he swore to his late mother a reality. But he couldn't tell Junpei about it. That's why...

"There's no need to worry about me."

Amada had no choice but to say that, but Junpei still did not give up.

"No. That's not right, kid!"

"Wh-what is it?"

"You always act like an adult, but you're still a kid when it comes to that sort of thing."

Click.

Those words stirred something in Amada's heart.

"...I understand. It's not because I was told I look childish or anything. And besides, I don't care if someone says I don't look childish. I'm not so childish that I'd get upset over something like that. But, if you say so, I'll try to look my age. So, what exactly am I supposed to do?"

In the lounge, Yukari whispered, "That's quite childish, isn't it?" and Fuuka and the others nodded in agreement, but their exchange didn't reach Amada and Junpei. And then...

"All right! Well said!"

Junpei shouted, standing up from his seat. A look of resignation crossed his face. A chill ran down Amada's spine.

"Wait, wait a minute..."

"You can't tell a man apart, can you?"

"Ugh."

It was a little too late to turn back. Amada's premonition had come true in the worst possible way.

"So... what is this?!"

"Heh heh heh, it suits you well~"

Amada was completely exposed in the middle of the lounge. Childlikeness starts with appearance. So Junpei insisted, and Amada did as he was told and got changed into these clothes. He was wearing a pure white running shirt, shorts with a slightly outdated design, and a straw hat - the fashion of a country boy from the old days. For some reason, even optional accessories such as a butterfly net and a kneecap bandage had been cleverly prepared for him.

"Well, actually, the other day when I went back to my parents' house I dug up a bunch of clothes I used to wear. I was wondering what it would look like if I dressed Amada in them."

"So basically... this is just a way for Junpei to kill time, huh? Hmm... are you satisfied? Well, I'll take off the clothes then."

Letting out a deep sigh that was truly unchildlike, Amada turned around to get changed back into his original clothes, but someone grabbed him firmly by the arms.

"You're being too persistent, Junpei... but Yukari? Fuuka? Huh?"

The hands trying to stop him were unexpected: Yukari and Fuuka. Their faces were slightly flushed, as if they were holding something back, and they both let out a shriek in unison.

“So cute!”

"Huh? Huh? What?"

Amada was completely at a loss for words at the unexpected reaction. However, the two excited girls' tension continued to rise.

"Try this one, next!"

"No, this one suits you better, Yukari-chan!

"It's a blazer that makes you look like a young master!"

"Oh my, where's this pink thing you were wearing when we were in high school? I need Amada-kun to wear it!"

"Yukari-chan, look! Black high socks!"

"W-w-w! Don't make me take off my clothes without asking."

"T-Takeba... I'll throw away this long-sleeved high-necked thing. I think it would be a shame..."

Before they knew it, even Mitsuru had joined in.

"Seriously... women just love dress-up dolls, no matter how old they are."

"Eh... What!?"

Of all people, Amada was treated like a doll by Sanada, whom he admired, and a sense of despair flooded his heart. However, it was a bad time to lose his strength. With Amada's resistance weakening, the women seized the opportunity to crowd around him and start matching his clothes with theirs.

Perhaps out of consideration for Amada's personality, they didn't strip him down to his underwear, but as he was put on and stripped of clothes one after another, Amada was beginning to feel a sense of resignation and think, "That's enough."

"Hey, wait a minute."

With that, Fuuka ran off at full speed towards the stairs to the upper floors. It was the biggest mistake of his life for Amada, whose thinking ability had been dulled, to not realise the danger. Shortly after, Fuuka returned, carrying several paper bags.

"Th-this! Try this on!"

And then, the gears in Amada's brain finally started to click.

Fuuka is a woman → Fuuka brought the clothes → I have them. The clothes are probably women's clothes → I'm going to wear those clothes → I'm a fine boy~☆

By the time the neural circuits were able to transmit that much information and send out signals to move the limbs to avert the worst-case scenario, the situation had already ended. "So, so, so cute!"

"Wow... it really suits you..."

"Ah, Amada... can I take a picture?" He was wearing a light blue blouse with a slight Lolita flair, and a flared skirt of the same color. A large ribbon was attached to the waist, and the hem, sleeves, and other parts were decorated with frills all over; it was a dress that could only be described as cute. "Wow..."

"Whoa, seriously?"

"Yamagishi...good job."

Apparently, he was well-received by the men as well, but that was no consolation. And then, Aigis's words dealt the final blow to Amada, who was trembling in silence.

"It really suits you."

"Waaaaaaaaaaah!"

It was a magnificent escape. You could almost see the afterimage.

With that momentum, Amada ran off to his room on the second floor. Unaware of what he was doing, tears welled up in his eyes.

"Oh... that's bad."

"Maybe we got a little too carried away?"

Everyone there, including Yukari and Fuuka, who had regained their senses after hearing Amada's wailing, exchanged looks of dismay at having gone too far, but it was too late now. The only one who was still laughing was Junpei, the root cause of the whole situation.

"Hey, Junpei. Don't laugh so much."

"Hehehehe... How can you not laugh at this? Amada ran away crying! Wow, seeing that kid in his childish form is a bit of a relief."

"What an immature guy... I don't care if Amada gets his revenge on you."

"Well, I don't know how to get revenge on a child, so it's fine. In fact, if he's going to play pranks on me, doesn't that mean I'm more at ease knowing he's getting his age?"

"Is that so...?"

Despite the concern of those around him, Junpei showed no remorse and seemed to believe that he had done a good deed. However, Junpei underestimated him. He had no idea how terrifying an elementary school student who lived with the revenge of his mother in his heart could become if he were to get serious.

"...What is this?"

The next morning, Junpei's screams echoed throughout the dormitory. His cry was so heartbreaking that the students, who had already finished their morning preparations, gathered in front of Junpei's room, wondering what on earth had happened.

"Junpei? Can you open it?"

Sanada opened the door on behalf of the group, revealing Junpei's messy room before them. And what they all saw there was...

A scribble making a mockery of Junpei in colorful pens all across the dorm walls.

It was a pitiful sight for Takeba. In an instant, everyone remembered Amada's frustrated, crying face the other day.

"Haha! He's already getting her revenge!"

Yukari was the first to burst out.

"Don't laugh! This is no joke.... He wrote it all in permanent ink."

Junpei cried out in complete despair as the graffiti wouldn't come off no matter how much he wiped it. The graffiti included words like loser, coward, pervert, incompetent, and more, using a high level of vocabulary for an elementary school student. An arrow had been drawn pointing to his trademark beard, and the word "mold" had been written on it. The sense of it was quite good.

"Heh heh heh, isn't it normal for children to get revenge? You weren't the only one who didn't go apologize to Amada-kun last night, right? I won't apologize for you.''

"Ugh! Amada! Where is Amada?"

"He's already at school. As should we. I don't have time to bother with that idiot Junpei. Let's go, Fuuka."

As if those words were a signal, everyone dispersed to go to school. Junpei was left alone in his room, scrubbing his face frantically and muttering bitter words to himself about Amada.

"That bastard... I'm going to punish him after school!"

Junpei declared this with a hint of resentment, but his words were never put into action. Yes, the real deal was about to begin.

"Are you alright, Junpei? It seems like your soul is gone."

Lunchtime - Just as Yukari had said with a worried look on her face, Junpei looked completely exhausted. After the commotion of that morning, the various traps that Amada had set had fallen on Junpei one after the other.

First, when he put on his clothes and tried to pick up his bag, it was glued to the desk. He put on his shoes to leave the dorm, but when he put them on, there was mayonnaise stuffed in the toes.

When he got to the station, he saw a notice on the lost and found board that read: "Mr. Junpei Panties Iori," was written on the wall, causing female students and office ladies to burst into laughter. When he got to school and changed into his shoes, this time they were filled with ketchup and the mechanical pencil was stuffed with wire disguised as a lead. When he opened his textbook, naughty photos sandwiched between the two pages fell out, and the gym clothes were rigged in such a way that they would tear apart if hit on the butt.

Just now, a girl from another class whom he didn't even know was confronting him.

"Hey, can you stop sending me these creepy letters?"

"This is really bothersome," he said, not remembering saying it at all regarding the love letter. After being bullied, Junpei finally gave up.

"I can't take it anymore... I want to die."

The fact that the child looked a little like Chidori only added to Junpei's depression.

"Um...Iori-senpai, are you there?"

The mastermind himself, Amada, appeared from the front entrance of the classroom.

"Ah, Amada! You...!"

Just as Junpei was about to stand up, Amada took the initiative and said:

"I-Iori-senpai... I-I'm sorry!"

"Eh?"

"Please don't be mad! I bought some bread... so... sniff"

"Yeah?"

Amada had tears in his eyes. Junpei was panicked by the unexpected turn of events, and the gazes of those around him pierced him.

"Eh? Maybe he was bullying him?"

"You're kidding me, a little kid like that?"

"Iori, you're the worst."

No matter how you looked at it, Junpei just looked like a bad guy. Junpei panicked and ran over to Amada, whispering to him.

"I get it! I was wrong! Please forgive me! I won't be able to come to school tomorrow..."

Junpei had promised to punish him, but now he pathetically begged for forgiveness.

"I... I was really hurt."

"Uh, I know. I'm really sorry."

"There's a game I want."

"What?! Hey, are you trying to scam me?"

"Sorry! Don't mess with me!"

"W-wait, stop, hey, I get it!"

Junpei was completely at Amada's mercy.

"Damn it... you're getting so serious... you're being so childish!... Ah."

With a triumphant look on his face at Junpei's slip of the tongue, Amada said with a smile.

"I'm just a child."

That smile was truly childlike, and therefore rather frightening.

Conclusion: It's best not to make Amada angry.

___________________________________________

Tag List: @kerto-p

[linalilia]

[meet the prisoners!] prisoner 001: miyagawa akio

oh god we're really doing this.

so yeah, remember when i said that i actually have milgram ocs? i'll start posting them now!

here's our first prisoner! his design looks a bit boring, i know, but i think it fits him well! sorry for making him look like mikoto's long lost brother i wanted him to have that "basic anime protag" vibe, if you know what i mean. though his personality is not like that at all, haha. also i'm sorry if the symbols on his prisoner uniform look weird, i'm still trying to figure out how to make them look good and i can't see them that well even though i use references 😔

also, some notes: this story happens before the events of canon milgram project + novel (yes, i know the plot of the novel but i'm not sure where to read it in english, i'm sorry!), so es isn't the guard yet. this time milgram prison has not one, but TWO guards and both of them are polar opposites of each other. one of them wants to vote everyone innocent and believes that they're actually good people, but the other one thinks all prisoners should be voted guilty and all of them deserve to die for their sins.

this time the prisoners are much less sympathetic than the canon ones because if the canon prisoners are kind of "morally gray".. well, maybe these guys' cute designs will be enough to make people vote them innocent :') i will write their mv descriptions, voice dramas and interrogations as well, though honestly, i feel like i actually could try writing songs for them because i like composing and writing lyrics.. but i'm too lazy for that right now djsjsksk.

also almost forgot to mention, don't take their mv descriptions too seriously (or do take them seriously. i'm not your mom), like, for example, if i mention a character being treated badly by someone in the mv, it doesn't necessarily mean that this thing actually happened. it doesn't mean that my characters are able to lie through their mvs, it's more about how they personally saw their crimes. and considering that a lot of my ocs are very dramatic and they believe that they've done nothing wrong.. yeah, trusting their every word is not a good idea.

and if you guys find my ocs interesting, maybe i'll actually do polls where you can vote them innocent or guilty! and if not, that's okay, i already have canon verdicts for them in mind, so :'D it would be fun to see people choosing something completely different from what i expected though

anyway, you can read this boy's profile under the cut!

General info:

Name: Miyagawa Akio (宮川 昭雄) (kanjis in his last name stand for "temple, shrine, palace" and "river" and kanjis in his first name mean "bright" and "hero")

Age: 16 y/o

Gender: Male

Status: Prisoner 001

Birthday: September 4 (Virgo)

Height: 166 cm

Blood type: A

Image Color: #D5C7E5

Occupation: High school student (first year)

Personality: Akio is a very prideful and arrogant boy who has an extremely high self-esteem. He believes he's innocent and refuses to admit that he really did something bad. Whenever his crime is mentioned, he claims that it wasn't his fault and his victim deserved it anyway. However, he's actually very smart and it's easy for him to fool people and make them believe that he really is a good guy. He claims that he was the best student in his class and he's been getting perfect grades since elementary school. He says that he never had any rivals because he was so perfect, however, it doesn't look like he had any friends either. He also doesn't believe that Milgram is an actual prison and thinks that it's all just for show and even if it's real, he's sure that he will never get executed or anything like that.

MV info:

Which canon Milgram song he would cover: It's Not My Fault

Which DECO*27 song he would cover: Reversible Campaign (i wish i could say that i have a deep reason for giving him this song, but.. i don't have one actually! i just like this song a lot and it's very special to me because if i'm not wrong, it's the first deco*27 song i ever listened to (or at least i have many good memories associated with it) so i thought that it would be a good idea to give it to the first prisoner!)

If he could cover a song by a different Vocaloid producer, which one would it be: Abnormality Dancin' Girl by Guchiry (i do have a reason this time, but i think you'll be able to figure it out yourself :))

His MV description: His MV would have this royal theme/aesthetic, similar to Muu's INMF MV with its whole queen bee thing, however, his video would still feel and look completely different. His MV would mostly have dark/dull colors.. until one specific scene.

His video starts with a crowd of people sitting in a room that looks like some kind of a concert hall and even though it looks beautiful and detailed, it's mostly gray and black. All people look like black silhouettes and don't have any defining features, however, judging from their poses, you can tell that they feel awkward or even anxious. And then, suddenly, Akio appears on the stage while dressed like a king. Even though he's supposed to look unique compared to the silhouettes, his colors are still just as dull as the room's. He smiles and starts singing and while he does so, he appears not just as a king, but as other important figures, for example, a movie star, a popular singer, a president and even a god. The lyrics mention Akio being the only person here who's actually interesting, unique, skilled and talented. The silhouettes follow him around all the time and you can actually see them having bright green eyes, but they show them only when Akio does something cool, for example, defeats an enemy, executes a criminal, etc. Everything goes well until Akio notices that the colors of the MV start becoming brighter and he sees that the silhouettes are not really interested in him anymore and they're following a very bright figure that looks like it's literally made out of light. He starts getting more and more nervous as he sees his loyal followers leaving him. There's a shot of him standing with a glass case full of all kinds of prizes and trophies in the background and the glass suddenly breaks right when he sees that figure again. The glass hurts Akio in the process and one of the silhouettes notices it and decides to check if he's okay. Akio sees that this silhouette's eyes are different and they're not green, but pink instead. He smiles and the MV ends with the "more popular student" being executed by Akio, who got his crown back and right when Akio looks at the pink-eyed silhouette and nods, the colors turn dark again and the lights go off.

His Trailer 1 Voicelines:

"My name is Miyagawa Akio. You two.. You two are not much older than me, right? So why the hell do you even have a right to judge us for our crimes? Honestly, I'm the one who deserves this right more than anyone else here."

"He really doesn't know his place, does he? So annoying.. Hey, can you help me out with something? Come on, I know you like me."

Trivia.

He sees himself as innocent and hopes to get a verdict like that as well.

He didn't commit any other crimes except murder and he claims that he had only one victim.

He's secretly embarrassed of his height and wants to grow taller.

He's very proud of being popular with both guys and girls from his school.

He's not really close with any prisoners except Prisoner 009, who's only one year older than him and was quite a popular student as well. Prisoner 002 wants to become friends with him too, but he keeps ignoring her and finds her annoying.

You can think of him as Haruka's "foil" or simply his opposite because of them both being the first prisoners, but having completely different personalities. Haruka constantly apologizes, believes that he brings misfortune to other people and he's not the smartest guy here, meanwhile Akio really was the best student in his class, he never apologizes and takes his words back and he believes that he's better than everyone else. They're also almost the same age, though Akio is one year younger than Haruka.

Even though Akio and Muu's videos (we're talking about the second one) have a similar theme, they feel very different. No matter how much Muu claims that everything is not her fault, she still appears as a monster in her MV and she constantly says how pitiable she is (i am NOT going with the official eng translation) and even if she's a "bad girl", she still asks to forgive her. Akio doesn't feel like that at all and he really does believe that he's innocent and he also doesn't see himself as a monster or any other scary creature, HE LITERALLY SEES HIMSELF AS A GOD. He never asks to forgive him because he thinks that people will do it even if he doesn't ask.

His crime is pretty easy to solve compared to the other prisoners. I wanted to make it more complicated at first, but then I thought that it makes sense for a first prisoner to have a crime that's not as mysterious or difficult to solve as other characters' murders.

[steviesnailbat]

Be My Valentine? (Platonically)

Steve hadn’t been looking forward to Valentine’s Day.

He’d usually enjoyed the holiday in the years before.  In elementary school, it just meant a ton of candy and a class party, and in junior high and high school, he had a valentine every year.  It was a fun holiday.  But his last good Valentine’s had been with Nancy.  1985 had been a total dud, and ‘86 didn’t seem to be shaping up to be much better.

He was sitting in his house alone.  He didn’t have a date.  It was his day off, so he didn’t even have work to distract him, and Robin had been scheduled.  The kids all had their own plans.  He was alone and unhappy, and he had nothing to do other than dwell on it.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at his front door, which was weird in and of itself.  People who would knock didn’t really come over to his house.  He’d given Robin a key months ago and while the kids came to Family Video unannounced all the time, they weren’t usually at his house.  He wished it didn’t bother him, it was something so small, but he was on guard all the same as he went over to the door and pulled it open.

Robin was standing on the porch, her arms full.  “Move, dingus, I need to set this shit down.”

Steve was completely nonplussed.  “Robin?  But you were scheduled today, why aren’t you at work?  What is all this stuff?”

“Move, and I’ll explain.”  Robin pushed past him into the house and went through to the kitchen.  Steve followed, his confusion mounting.

“Rob?”

“One second.”  Robin started setting up her stuff on the counter.  There were decorations, art supplies, things to make cookies, and a couple VHS tapes.

“Robin.”

“Okay, okay, relax.”  She turned to him with a smile.  “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah, happy Valentine’s, now are you going to explain?”

Robin rolled her eyes.  “So impatient.  I asked for the day off to surprise you.  I knew you were just going to be sitting around here moping, and I couldn’t have that, so you and I are going to spend the day together.  Be my valentine, Steve?  Platonically.”

Steve blinked.  “You - you want to spend Valentine’s Day with me?”

“Yes, aren’t you listening?”

Out of all the half formed theories Steve had come up with as to why Robin was here with a bunch of shit in tow, none of them were even vaguely in the realm of what was actually happening.  He couldn’t believe she would do something like this for him.  “Fuck yeah, Robs, I’ll be your valentine.”

“Great!  I’ve got a ton of shit planned.”  She clapped her hands together with a bright grin and turned back to face the counter.  “We’re going to decorate your house, make each other Valentine’s cards, make cookies, and then spend all night eating them and watching cheesy romantic comedies.”

A smile spread across Steve’s face.  “That sounds… perfect.”

“I should hope so, I planned it.”  Robin untied some balloons from their anchor and handed them to Steve.  “Here, you go tie these around, and I’ll take care of the streamers.”

They spent the next hour decorating the house.  By the time they were done, there was red and white everywhere.  Balloons were tied to the chairs and the stair banister, streamers were hanging in the kitchen and the living room, and heart shaped confetti was spread over the counters and the table.  When they were finished, they got started making cards for each other.

“Remember, you can’t look.”  Robin scooted her paper closer to herself, putting her arm around it.

Steve laughed.  “I’m not, I promise.”

“I’m watching you, dingus.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Steve couldn’t remember the last time he handmade a Valentine’s card.  Elementary school, probably.  He’d learned pretty quickly that the girls he was chasing were happier with something pretty and expensive, like jewelry.  If he’d handed them a card he’d made himself, they probably would have laughed.  But things were different now.

He’d never been much of an artist, but he did his best, cutting out a heart and decorating it with glitter and stickers, then meticulously writing out I love you in the neatest cursive he could manage.  When he was done, he slid it over to Robin.

“Alright, done.  Happy Valentine’s Day.”

She picked it up and smiled.  “I love it, Steve, this is great.  Here, take mine.”

Steve took the card she was holding out, and when he got a good look at it, he couldn’t help laughing slightly.  She’d drawn stick figures of the two of them, complete with their stupid little sailor hats from Scoops.  Across the top, she’d written love you, dingus.  “Thanks, Robs, this is awesome.”

Robin beamed.

They ended up hanging their valentines on the fridge.  They deserved a place of honor.

After the cards, they moved onto making cookies.  Or at least, trying to.  Neither of them really knew how to bake, and it showed.

“Why are there fractions on this thing?”  Steve picked up the recipe and squinted at it.  “Are you sure you didn’t just grab your math homework?”

Robin snatched it out of his hands.  “Yes, Steven, I’m sure.  It’s so you know what size of cups to use.”

“What about all the abbreviations?  What’s a tsp?”

“It’s -”  Robin paused.  “I don’t know.”

“Well, it’s next to the salt, and I doubt you really want a lot of salt in cookies, so it must be something small.  Let’s just put a little bit in and hope for the best.”

Robin shook her head.  “No, you can’t do that.  I know you have to get the measurement’s right, that’s important.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever.” Steve said, flicking a little flour at her.

“Hey!”  Robin glared at him, but the effect was ruined by her smile.  She grabbed some flour and threw it back.  Before long, they were just hurling flour at each other, the cookies forgotten.

They didn’t bother cleaning up.  Steve’s justification was that it was a holiday and you’re only supposed to do fun things on holidays.  They did change into some different clothes, though, so they wouldn’t get flour all over the house.  Since Robin only had what she was wearing, she just borrowed some of Steve’s.

Luckily, Steve kept his house fairly well stocked, so their plans to eat junk food and watch cheesy rom coms weren't ruined.  They grabbed as much as they could carry from the pantry and took it to the living room.

Romantic comedies weren’t Steve’s favorite, but he found that watching and mocking them with Robin was a lot more fun than watching them with a date.  She had him practically in hysterics all through Secret Admirer and by the time they finished Sixteen Candles, his ribs hurt from laughing so much.

“What do you think, Harrington?” Robin asked as the credits rolled.  “Was it a satisfactory Valentine’s Day?”

“Satisfactory?” Steve repeated a little incredulously.  “It was the best one I’ve ever had.”

She raised an eyebrow.  “Really?”

“Definitely.  Absolutely.  No contest.”

“Alright, alright.”  She shook her head with a smile.  “I’m glad you had fun, Dingus.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Robin.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Steve.”

[shippingfangirl013]

Getting older sucks.

It’s “I made my first friend in that elementary school classroom,”

And “I used to sit on those swings with my first childhood friend, playing make-believe and talking about the newest movie we wanted to go see,”

It’s “I used to get off the bus with you after school and stay at your house every other night because I didn’t want what my parents were having for dinner,”

It’s “We used to have sleepovers in my room, and I remember that I loved going to your house because it meant playing with our American Girl dolls. We’re in the same family, but I saw you more than half my friends sometimes. I miss seeing you now, even though we only live 10 minutes away, it still feels like the years have crept between us.”

And “We met in 4th grade, but I’ve known you all my life. You knew my first crush and I knew yours. You loved Sam Winchester and I loved Dean. We sat on the benches at recess, reading books about Helen Keller and talking about how excited we were to play the violin next year. Gavin always went on about how he loved some tv show with monsters off of Cartoon Network while we read. You loved One Direction, Harry Styles was your first love, I’m sorry for that fight we had in 7th grade, I was an asshole and I hope you know that I love you, I wish you never dealt with half the shit life has thrown at you, I’m sorry that I was too young to understand how to handle the sinking grief that you went through in 8th grade, I promise you that I would take it all away if I could, I’m sorry for ignoring you when you told me my first serious boyfriend wasn’t actually a nice guy. I should have listened to you. I’m sorry I let him get between us.”

It’s “you were mean to me, but I miss you. We were young, but I don’t think that you’re a bad person anymore. I loved your art and I hope you still create wondrous works. You inspired me to start drawing, and I’m grateful for that. I miss watching Dan and Phil with you, and Michael Clifford will always remind me of you. Thank you for sitting next to me in the classes we had together, I’m glad we had lunch together too, I felt less alone eating crappy high school lunches with you before Spanish class. I hope you’re doing okay, and I know we talk from time to time, but I miss seeing your face.”

And “I loved you. You broke me. I have nothing to say to you for what you did to me, but I remember the way that your freckles danced around your face, curving upwards towards the sun when you smiled that lopsided grin at me. We were young and stupid, and I thought that was what love was. I know that I was mean to you too, and I want you to know that I’m sorry for that. I wanted forever with you, I didn’t even know you, I loved you, but even the brightest blaze of fire can turn cold in the dampened wet of winter.”

It’s “I met you in college, but you are someone who has never hurt me. Your laughter is like the musical notes you play on the flute, you are sharp and witty and I’d go to the ends of the world with you, only if you wanted to. We survived freshman year together. You handed me Kleenex at 3 am and held my hair back when I got too drunk. You walked me home with some of our friends, and you asked me to look at a magazine after the party and I said that there were people dancing on a trifle cake. You showed me a photo of a Bundt cake with raspberries on top the next morning. You helped me study, even when I was a pain in the ass, and you’ve made me laugh when I’d much rather cry. We rode horses together on weekends when we had time. You helped me get through one of the worst breakups I’ve ever had. I’ve cried on your shoulder more times than I can count, we’ve had more movie nights with friends in the dorms than I can remember. I’m grateful that I always had a travel buddy when it came time to go home for Winter Break. Two hours goes by much quicker when you’re screaming the soundtrack of Frozen II in the car. You reminded me that I’m a good person. You remind me of that a lot, and even though I know that I can be exhausting and hard to handle, you’re always there to lend an ear or offer advice, and if I just need support, I know I can count on you. We always stayed up late on your birthday, midnights during finals week were never boring when your mom sent you a package to open, every item wrapped with care, because she wanted you to celebrate even if you weren’t home yet. You love dragons, and I’m awful at drawing them, but I drew one for you anyways. I’m glad we had an apartment our senior year. I hate that we live 8 hours away. Thank you for introducing me to Mikayla. I’m sorry about the fights that we’ve had. I’m grateful to you and Mikayla for showing me what healthy friendship is.”

And “I’ve known you since 8th grade but we’ve never met in person. I think about you all the time. I’m proud of who you’ve become. Thank you for being such an amazing friend. You’re such an inspiration to me. I wish we lived closer, I wish I could come visit.”

It’s “I haven’t talked to you in a while. We FaceTimed every day after school in high school. You’re engaged now, and I’m so happy for you. I hope he treats you well, I’m sorry I live so far away, I want you to have everything you want in life. I came to your graduation party, I was so excited when you came to my house and surprised me. I miss you, I hope you’re doing okay. I know I’m awful at texting back, I need to text you more.”

And “I read your eulogy at your service. I hope I did right by you. I wanted to honor your memory, and somehow, the right words came to me after crying over blank paper for hours. I hate that you’re gone. I hate that I can’t talk to you anymore. I don’t know how to live without you.

(How do I live without you?)

I hope I honored you and your memory with what I wrote. . . I hope everyone knows how much I love and miss you. I hope you know how much I love you. If there is a Heaven, say hi to Molly and Monica for me. Say hi to Mavi and Bear and Precious too. I listen to Taylor Swift all of the time now. I listen to One Direction too.

You were my first real friend. And that’s not to say I didn’t have friends before, but you were the first that stuck around. It was like Lilo and Stitch, times two. We found each other and became friends, and then in 4th grade, I picked Sam to become friends with… and then we were a trio. I remember all of the trouble we got into… it feels like yesterday.

(God, how I wish it were yesterday, because then you’d still be here.)

Your grandparents cried when I came over to pick up your stuff. I cried when your grandma gave me your Ron Jon’s hat and that stupid scarf you always wore and damn near strangled me with when we would wrestle with one another. I hugged your cat Harley for you, I wish I had been able to visit your house more. You always wanted to come to mine, and I never knew why, but “your house is more fun than mine,” always came the reply. I never quite believed that, but I didn’t push you.

I started watching Golden Girls, it makes me think of you. Kally is getting older now too, she’s 16, I know that when we were younger, we joked that cats that old went to Star Clan. I hope she goes to live out the rest of her days with you up there, at least I know she’ll be loved and looked after when it’s her time to rest. You were supposed to be in my wedding, but as it stands now, that will be a long ways away.

Life is odd, and it’s always changing, and you of all people, know how much I hate change. (How do I keep living when I’ve lost so many people that I once cared for?)

How do my grandparents do it? Losing friends they’ve known for years? How does anyone do it? Living without the people you thought you’d never lose is the worst feeling ever, and I’m scared to live if it means that everyone I care for could die tomorrow.

I’m glad you were able to love someone and that he was able to love you in return. You deserved a lifetime of happiness. I hope that he knows you passed on, I tried to contact him, but I never asked you for a name.

I can’t sleep some nights knowing that I was the last person you willingly called at 2 in the morning. I hope you can forgive me for not picking up. I miss you more than words can say.

(Do you think if I had been there for you, things would be different? Would you still be here if we hadn’t drifted apart in high school?)

I wish we hadn’t drifted apart in high school.

I wish things didn’t have to end, I wish someone could invent a way to tell when things would come to an end, so I could cling to it more tightly, telling those people how much I love them, how important they are in my life, and how much I loathe change. . .

I wish I never had to read your eulogy. It was the second hardest thing I’ve ever done, missing you, grieving you. . . That’s the first.”

~ a short collection of the people I’ve loved

(This doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of other new friends that I have and love right now, because I’m lucky to have so many people that care about me & I’m lucky to be able to care about them and get to know them as well.

This just… needed to come out tonight.

And I didn’t really include family in this, but I was more-so focused on friends that I’ve had and lost over the years.)

[sealegsagain]

Found something I filled out in 2010. I think I'd like to do it again with my answers now. Now:

100 Truths: After you've filled this out, tag 10 people and have them do the same:

1. Last beverage? Hazelnut coffee, cream and sugar

4. Last song you listened to? Angel Olsen - If it's alive, it will (live at Kim's Video and Music NC April 16, 2011)

5. Last time you cried? January or December, I think

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Dated someone twice? You mean broke up and then came back? Not that I think about it.

2. Been cheated on? Yeah

3. Kissed someone & regretted it? Not usually

4. Lost someone special? Yeah

5. Been depressed? Who hasn't?

6. Been drunk and threw up? a very long time ago. Before 2016, definintely. The last time that I actually felt ill from it was 2016.

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:

Purple, black, teal, silver, dark blue

THIS PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

1. Made new friends? Yep, bangface people mostly

3. Laughed until you cried? Unfortunately not

4. Met someone who changed you? Not that I can tell right now. Ask me in a few more years.

5. Found out who your true friends were? Everyone has their place, so I'm not about to put folks in "true" and "false" categories, but it was nice seeing who stepped in to help during some things I went through, yeah.

6. Found out someone was talking about you? Nah

7. Kissed anyone on your friend's list? Yep

8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? Most of them

9. How many kids do you want to have? It's kind of out of my hands at this point with age and PCOS, but I don't see kids in my future

10. Do you have any pets? I'd have cats here if it was allowed.

11. Do you want to change your name? I did. I was known as Elizabeth till I graduated high school. Liz since then. Answer to both. Keeps things interesting.

12. What did you do for your last birthday? Dinner and drinks with Bill at Ikebana, Same with my mom at Bramble and Brine in Lewes. Honestly was wonderful

13. What time did you wake up today? 9:10 am, Work has my body on a schedule where this is what feels like sleeping in is

14. What were you doing at midnight last night? Listening to WTJU, organizing files

15. Name something you CANNOT wait for?

Paying off my car. Leaving the continental USA again.

16. Last time you saw your dad? A few weeks ago

17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I would have been smarter with my money

18. What are you listening to right now? Nothing atm.

19. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? They're awesome.

23. What's getting on your nerves right now? Sunday Scaries

24. Most visited webpage? Youtube. haha.

This is random how it just starts re-numbering here; but oh well...

1. What's your name? If you don't know by now..

4. Zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5. Male or female or transgendered? Cis female, she/they

6. Elementary? These sound like identity theft questions

7. Middle School? If you don't need to know

8. High school? You already do

10. Hair color? Light brown w/ red and blonde pieces

11. Long or short? Long, wish it were longer

16. Height? 6'

17. Do you have a crush on someone? Nope

18: What do you like about yourself? That'd be an essay that I don't have room for

19. Piercings? Just the ears. I'm boring.

20. Tattoos? None

21. Righty or Lefty? Righty

FIRSTS :

22. I'll choose wisdom teeth removal. They did sew those up.

23. First piercing? Ears.

24. First friends? Don't remember. Elementary School

26. First sport you joined? Tennis. I wasn't great at it

27. First pet? Jasmine the cat

28. First vacation? Disney World, Orlando

29. First concert? BB King with my mom

30. First crush? Memory Hazy.

RIGHT NOW:

49. Eating? Had A bagel and leftover bulgogi for breakfast

50. Drinking? Lacroix fizzy water

52. I'm about to? Bathe, antique store, groceries

53. Listening to? nothing atm

55. Waiting for? Tonight. Oh oh oh... when you will be here in my arms (but nothing really) --------------------------------------------

stopped here, will finish later

YOUR FUTURE :

58. Want kids? Nah

59. Want to get married? If things align that way

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

68. Lips or eyes? eyes

69. Hugs or kisses? kisses

70. Shorter or taller? close to my height is nice

71. Older or Younger? either

72. Romantic or spontaneous? I think they're the same thing.

73. Nice stomach or nice arms? arms?? muscles don't matter to me.

74. Sensitive or loud?

75. Hook-up or relationship?

HAVE YOU EVER :

78. Kissed a stranger? within talking to them the first time the same day.

80. Lost glasses/contacts? in all senses of the word, including contacts actually ejecting themselves from my eyes!

81. Cried during a movie? Amelie, without fail. several others.

82. Broken someone's heart? been told I have... ask me this when I was Gina's age and I'd say it was impossible for me to.

83. Had your own heart broken? That's like asking me if I'm alive

85. Been arrested? can't say I have been, or want to be.

86. Turned someone down? Yeah. One actually took it well! I don't want to believe in ladder theory.

87. Cried when someone died? of course.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:.

89. Yourself? I want to.

90. Miracles? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBBzrHXu1Fg&feature=related

:D

91. Love at first sight? Never happened to me. Maybe for others. Love requires interaction, not just seeing.

92. Heaven? no. I think I know why people believe in it though (as a concept, not judeo-christian)

93. Santa Claus? I miss people actually SLEEPING on Christmas eve. I believe in the Santa ritual even if gifts are not exchanged in the morning. No gaming all night for one night a year :p

95. Kiss on the first date? depends. *thinks back to how many times it was a mandatory-or-never thing* Let's debate, kids.

96. Angels? They have cool names Ariel, Gardriel, Sharmiel. but no.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now?

Definitely. Daily. Wish he knew it. Made a very bad move lately. Feel sick.

98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? Nevah. I almost combusted from guilt when I went on casual dates with two different guys in the same week once.

2010:

100 Truths: After you've filled this out, tag 10 people and have them do the same.

1. Last beverage? diet coke

4. Last song you listened to? Ayu Trance 3 in the car on the way to the vigil.

if you're listening to music, you're steps ahead of me.

5. Last time you cried? if you can't remember, that's good. me- New years eve.

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Dated someone twice? what length of time is that

2. Been cheated on? Guy said he broke up with his ex, then slept with her again. found out about it online. :p

3. Kissed someone & regretted it? Only one person is a regret to the point I regret my memories. Their name started with an L

4. Lost someone special? It would have been awesome if they stayed in my life.. I think. not sure. Hurt to lose them though.

5. Been depressed? clinical symptoms, not clinical length

6. Been drunk and threw up? ..... regrettably yes. I don't want to get that drunk ever again. If you do, you'll want to throw up all day the next day. :(

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:

1. deep blue

2. violet

3. silver

4. marine

THIS PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

1. Made new friends? o' course

3. Laughed until you cried? Maybe once or twice did my stomach hurt from laughing. No water tho.

4. Met someone who changed you? Change can't be pinned on one person.

5. Found out who your true friends were? There was no weeding out event.

6. Found out someone was talking about you? I wish they were :p~~ I think at this point, I'd see it as amusement.

7. Kissed anyone on your friend's list? If I were kissing someone, it's likely I'd have the courtesy to add them

8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? All but a few, and those I've known long enough for it to count.

9. How many kids do you want to have? None of my own, now, thanks. Future: one perhaps?

10. Do you have any pets? LOUD kit-kat

11. Do you want to change your name? I did. I was known as Elizabeth till I graduated high school.

12. What did you do for your last birthday? Went to an art show. My. Just thinking about it cheers me up.

13. What time did you wake up today? 7 yesterday.. I had finally reset myself to diurnal and I messed up last night.

14. What were you doing at midnight last night? waking up from a nap, I think

15. Name something you CANNOT wait for? oooh I love looking forward to things :)

Makes life worth living. Philly next weekend. But seriously, my next pell grant check, then I can do things I need to do.

16. Last time you saw your dad? last Sunday

17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? the qualit

18. What are you listening to right now? a cover of poker face done by chris daughtry... needless to say, scarred for life.

19. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? cannot say I have.

23. What's getting on your nerves right now? Aw Gina, Lady Gaga shouldn't get on your nerves ;) But right now? Worries, arguments.

24. Most visited webpage? It's all moving towards 2.0 and I can see it. This one! ha.

This is random how it just starts re-numbering here; but oh well... (indeed it is)

1. What's your name? gina grace magnesia cilantro zwicky. ( I like your name.! Mine's Elizabeth Anne Peek. very borin)

4. Zodiac sign? Sag with a vag

5. Male or female or transgendered? I used the answer to #4 to make that clear

6. Elementary? glen ave k-3/north salisbury magnet 4-6

7. Middle School? wicomico middle

8. High school? WIHI

10. Hair color? NOT GINGER (Gina, Gingers are awesome)

11. Long or short? mediano.

16. Height? 5'11 Eh meh. Giant lady. used to it by now. Tall ladies of the world: you can still attract men. Have for ages

17. Do you have a crush on someone? Without emotions. without feelings. life is just a clock.. ticking (but seriously, not at the moment)

18: What do you like about yourself? I look at other people and think I'm not so awful.

19. Piercings? Two standard

20. Tattoos? Blanque

21. Righty or Lefty?

FIRSTS :

22. First surgery? not going to talk about that here

23. First piercing? ears- 7. they made one of the holes too low. :p

24. First friends? What the hell kind of question is this??

26. First sport you joined? tennis? Lots of rollerblading..

27. First pet? Praying mantis in a jar

28. First vacation? fraaaance!

29. First concert? BB King with my mom

30. First crush? Christopher Henry in 1st grade. The fact that I remember his name is frightening

RIGHT NOW:

49. Eating? pickle chips (lol what else is new)

50. Drinking? nada.

52. I'm about to? Stay awake all day, go to craft store, finish organizing music @_@

53. Listening to? not my brother's hardstyle anymore, WHY WONT HE LISTEN TO ANYTHING ELSE?

55. Waiting for? the next step

YOUR FUTURE :

58. Want kids? uh, most likely NOT.

59. Want to get married? YES

60. Careers in mind? nature tv show host! (i'm thinking, like, the female version of bear grylls) XD

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

68. Lips or eyes? eyes

69. Hugs or kisses? kisses

70. Shorter or taller? either

71. Older or Younger?

72. Romantic or spontaneous? I think they're the same thing.

73. Nice stomach or nice arms? arms?? muscles don't matter to me.

74. Sensitive or loud? WHO SAID SENSITIVE WAS THE OPPOSITE OF LOUD

75. Hook-up or relationship? I think I'm done with hook-ups

HAVE YOU EVER :

78. Kissed a stranger? within talking to them the first time the same day.

80. Lost glasses/contacts? in all senses of the word, including contacts actually ejecting themselves from my eyes!

81. Cried during a movie? Amelie, without fail. several others.

82. Broken someone's heart? been told I have... ask me this when I was Gina's age and I'd say it was impossible for me to.

83. Had your own heart broken? That's like asking me if I'm alive

85. Been arrested? can't say I have been, or want to be.

86. Turned someone down? Yeah. One actually took it well! I don't want to believe in ladder theory.

87. Cried when someone died? of course.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:.

89. Yourself? I want to.

90. Miracles? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBBzrHXu1Fg&feature=related

:D

91. Love at first sight? Never happened to me. Maybe for others. Love requires interaction, not just seeing.

92. Heaven? no. I think I know why people believe in it though (as a concept, not judeo-christian)

93. Santa Claus? I miss people actually SLEEPING on Christmas eve. I believe in the Santa ritual even if gifts are not exchanged in the morning. No gaming all night for one night a year :p

95. Kiss on the first date? depends. *thinks back to how many times it was a mandatory-or-never thing* Let's debate, kids.

96. Angels? They have cool names Ariel, Gardriel, Sharmiel. but no.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now?

Definitely. Daily. Wish he knew it. Made a very bad move lately. Feel sick.

98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? Nevah. I almost combusted from guilt when I went on casual dates with two different guys in the same week once.

[sahmpu]

MEMOIR

EMELY OLMEDO

XII-BOOKKEEPING

In my elementary days, I used to play with different kids in school. I don’t bother myself with asking their names because they will leave, and I can’t play with them again. Every afternoon, during lunch break, I go sit outside with my classmates, where I can see from here the pupils like me, who are done eating lunch, and play around. I eat my lunch boredly. I want to go home and play with my little sister.

When I was in sixth grade, I met three lovely people. I cherish my memories with them. The real friendship is in there. I wish I could go back to the time when we were in one room talking about how our future lives would be. Talking about boys. I am happy with them. We used to discuss the things we didn’t understand. They give me inspiration that I need to go and push myself for a good future. They validate my feelings. Making me not worry about things because I have them. I am so lucky to be with them. Until graduation came. We cried and said our goodbyes. All I can remember in that moment is that I am happy for us because we are graduates. Exchange congratulations and give hugs to each other. I thought that was the best moment, but I was wrong. I then realized that we would not have each other anymore. The three of us enroll in the same high school, while one enrolls in another. I thought the friendship would last until we received the accomplishments we deserved. We rarely see each other on campus. When we crossed paths in the hallway, we smiled and asked, How are you? That’s the saddest part: when you, your quadro, or your friends lose connections and get uninterested.

I’m in grade seven, and I meet three people: Denmark, Stephanie, and Daisy. They are great and happy to be around. I don’t expect that our friendship will last because I might just disappoint myself. So now I believe that everything is temporary. Nothing is meant to be forever. Even love cannot last. People go and leave. That’s funny to hear. Those people whom you thought would be by your side until you guys achieve the life you wish. I don’t have any hatred for the circle of friends out there or for anyone who is in a relationship and feels so in love with their partner. Actually, I am happy for them because, for them, they meet the real ones.

Time passes, and my sixth-grade friend asks, “How are you guys doing? I miss you! “in our old group chat. I was surprised by her chat because it’s been years since then. We were chitchatting, and I realized something: whatever the things your relationships have done, the universe will always find a way to remember the memories you’ve shared. You will go back to the time where you used to be. Therefore, try not to be resentful and go salvage and rebuild the relationship that has collapsed.

[vacuumssuck]

Dear Victoria,

I can't believe that it's been nearly 10 years since I last saw you. It's probably 6 since I last wrote to you.

I reread my last letter to you but none of the other ones because I remember being mean in them. I'm sorry for that. I know you must have had your reasons for cutting ties.

I think that you were probably the first person to break my heart. I've still not really dated or had a significant other (I don't think you were around for the whole asexual awakening I had) and I've never had another friend just leave my life the way you did. I don't say that to make you feel bad, I think I just want to explain why I was so hurt when you cut me off.

I still don't understand anything about why you left and that will always bother me a bit.

Did you know (obvs you didn't, how could you) that Shay and I lived about 2.5 blocks away from where you did in 2014?! We only stayed there for a year, but now when I go back, it doesn't feel like my old neighbourhood. It still feels like yours.

I'm an EA now! I have been for 3 years now! I remember that you wanted to be a teacher for gifted kids back in the day. I wonder if that's what you ended up doing. I never thought I'd be an EA back then, but I really enjoy it! I used to be in a middle school, which I loved. Now I'm in elementary, and it's still fun but has more challenges.

We have our 10 year reunion this year. Are you going to go? I go back and forth about it because all of the people I know from high school are the girls I'm still friends with. Everyone else, I don't remember, and they surely never knew me. I think it'd be funny to go if nothing else.

I don't know what I'd do if I saw you at this point. It would be nice to pretend to just be cool and catch up, but I don't know if I'm that good at pretending.

Just so you know, I know I must have done something wrong. I know that I am not good at communicating my feelings or listening to criticism or hearing that I've hurt someone. I know that I'm not good at being proactive in my friendships. I've learnt a lot about myself over the years.

I can understand that something I did made you not want to be in my life anymore. I just wish you had talked to me about it before disappearing forever.

There are a million things I've wanted to say to you over the last decade. For now, I'll just say this: thanks for being my friend.

Love, Madeleine

[desertdaddypsp]

What do you see in Bisuit's eyes?

I'll tell you what I see, but you have to understand that my interpretation of her gaze mirrors what is going on in my head right now.

Biscuit's blank stare says, "Really? Am I really important? I know that people feed me and pet me and take me for walks, but do they really love me? Is any of this real?

That has been my life over the last few weeks. Lost. Confused. Alone. Numb.

I've realized that over the last couple of days, I've been walking around in a fog...kind a dissociative state. I can't really describe it, but I feel fuzzy. Not the good "warm and fuzzy" kind of fuzzy, but the "I truly can't feel anything because there is this fuzz that envelopes me.

People touch me, but it doesn't feel genuine. I hear words, but they just sound like the teacher in the Peanut's cartoons. My affect is non-existent. I should be crying or depressed, but mostly I just feel nothing. I'm simply going through the motions.

I forget things. I'm clumbsy. I'm irritable and at the same time on the verge of tears for apparently no reason. At times, I feel like I'm outside myself, watching me do things but not really participating in my life. Maybe my life is just to hard in which to participate right now. Maybe I've simply checked out. In fact, that's exactly what I've done. Rick is gone.

Taylor Swift has a song a year or so ago called, "Look What You Made Me Do!" In it, she tells a caller that she can't talk to the old Taylor. The caller asks why. "Oh! Because....she'd dead!" That's the way I feel.

What's the genesis of some of this stuff? I think I have a clue. Sobriety and the rooms, money, and self-medication.

How about we talk about the 12-Step rooms first, shall we? First off, we're all addicts and were all fucked up to one degree or another. Some of us have it better together than others, but were all fucked up. We're not always nice to each other. We gossip. We break anonymity. Friendships come and go like water down the drain. Make a friend one day and the next, they don't even know your name or bother to greet you. Then, when you point it out, it's all MY fault and I get the, "I dont' want to be friends with you anymore!" Jeeze. Shades of the elementary school playground.

Now, at the risk of painting the entire room with one large brush, no every one is like that. The are those who are friendly on a consistent basis. The greet you with a smile and a hug no matter what. I wish I could concentrate on those people. But in my try co-dependent fashion, I tend to concentrate on what's wrong instead of what's right. Maybe someday I'll learn. Stick close to that Higher Power, Rick!

When I first came to the rooms, I got all kinds of business cards and offers to call people no matter what time, day or not, if I was tempted to use. Then two weeks later, those same people didn't even remember me. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn that they were all high when the passed me those business cards. Needless to say in the seven months in the rooms, my initial circle of friends is nowhere to be found. Othere have come to fill their places, but for the most part, they have moved on, or relapased, or decided that they wanted friends with "more sobriety" than I had...or they died. Yeah. That happened too.

Do I have a part in this. But, of course I do. I took a friend out to dinner who was just back from a relapse and the shared with me that his sponsor told him that while he like me, he, "Didn't trust me!" That didn't sit well because I knew the person who supposedly said it.

Now a couple of things crossed my mine: 1) the person telling me about the gossip about me was coming from a man who had recently relapsed. His brain probably wasn't firing on my chambers, so I should have taken his words with a grain of salt. (2) I knew that person who hade supposedly said that he didn't trust me and his behavior torward me would have given me no inclination that he distrusted me. I tried to chalk it up to, "What other people think of me is none of my buisness!" but that didn't work. It made me made.

When I get mad, I take action. So, even thougnh I vowed I wouldn't, I texted the violater and asked him if he had said that he didn't trust me. He said that he had no idea what I was talking about, but he knew who shared that Information with me and he was upset. The person who share it with me became upset with me and refuses to talk to me despite my making a sincere amends. Oh, well. Saying you're sorry doesn't always bring forgiveness, but I did the right things.

Now, the recovered relapser says that he won't go back to meetings befause he doesn't want to face his former sponsor. I hate to sound hard-hearted, but that's not my problem. If he deicdes to stay away out of guilt, no matter how much he blames me, he has to take responsibility for that decision to not go back to the rooms.

I'm not proud of myself in the slightest. I'm disappointed that I let my anger get the best of me and ruin a good friendship.

Anger.

Boy, I'm filled with it. Everyday, I become aware of the seething rage that is just below the surface of my smile when I have one. At a moment's notice, I'm ready to take off someone's head in the parking lot of Ralph's or make snide comments when the lady won't move her damned cart from the middle of the aisle as if she's the only one in the store.

How do I cope? Several ways. I've stopped going to meetings and probably won't go back anytime soon. I'm not sure if my sponsor will continue to work with me if I refuse to go to meetings. If I do, I'll seek out meetings where I'm a loner. I'll attend, sit there and keep my mouth shut, and leave. Get the input and run.

I told my sponsor that since working with him, I have seem glimpses of what a happy life can be and I'm not ready to walk away from that. After all, walk away from what toward what? Oblivion? Drinking? Sex? Relapsing? Not such good choices in my estimation and I'm the one making the decision.

But how do I cope? Not in good ways. In my zombie-like state, I have put the gay sex apps back on my phone and I'm a busy little beaver hunting down twinks, and otters, and bears, oh my! I've gone off the deep end with sex. Often it is with different partners sometime 3 times a day.

Why?

Self-medication. If I can get some guy to get me naked and have his way with me, then I get to feel wanted and valued for those few minutes. But, as the door closes, more often than not, I sob. I know that isn't what I want and yet it is compulsive. Take tonight for example.

I started the day of with a little sexual trick with an old friend. It was fun. I like him. But did that satisfy my needs? Hell no

[surveysand]

nine.

What’s the ultimate cake topping? vanilla buttercream. nothing else. Do you prefer to wash in the mornings or evenings? mornings. my hair is super curly and will not cooperate if i don't wash it in the morning. Have you ever walked into a wall? yes, all the time. i am very clumsy. Do you prefer vertical or horizontal stripes? horizontal.

Can you name all 50 American states? yes.

Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? no. What makes you nervous? thunderstorms. i have a severe fear of tornadoes so the minute it starts thundering and lightning, my heart starts racing and i get very anxious. Are you ticklish? very. Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails? no. Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? no. Is it criminal to wear socks with sandals? people can wear what they want, but i would never do it. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? none. i would literally rather do anything else than work for the military. If you swapped genders for a day, how would you spend it? have sex. i know that's the typical answer, but i really would like to feel what it's like to have an orgasm with a penis. Have you ever starred in a school play? several. What historical period would you like to live in if you could go back in time? no earlier than, like, the 80s. every time in period, there was always something miserable happening, so i always have a tough time answering questions like these. Have you ever been to see stand up comedy? no. i hate stand-up comedy most of the time. Have you ever needed stitches? no. Do you ever laugh at things you shouldn’t? yes. Have you ever been in a submarine? hell no. i hate the ocean. What would you do if someone proposed to you tomorrow? politely decline. i don't think i'm ready ready to accept. How high can you jump? not very high. Which fictional character do you wish was real? i honestly don't know. maybe boots from dora, lol. Do you like vanilla or chocolate? vanilla. Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for young girls? it can be in some ways, but is positive in others. i think it depends on how a child interacts with it. Do you prefer Honey or Jam? jam. Do you read a daily newspaper? no. Do you own a lava lamp? no. Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna? yes. Have you ever had chicken pox? no. Do you believe there used to be dragons? no. Who would you want to be with on a desert island? my dog. What’s the worst show on television? no idea. i don't keep up with what's on tv. Who’s your favorite god from ancient history? i don't know many of them. What was the last present you received? not sure. Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship? no, i don't want kids right now. What was your first alcoholic drink? a wine cooler. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? arizona. What was your first detention for? i've never gotten a detention. Who was your first kiss? a boy i went to elementary school with. What was the first film you remember seeing at the cinema? the polar express. What nicknames do you have/have had? not gonna answer this for privacy reasons, but i've only had one that my ex-best friend used to call me. Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? no. Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? yes. Have you ever carved a pumpkin? yes. Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid? no. Do you plan to vote in the next election? yes. Have you ever appeared on YouTube? no. Have you ever been on radio? no. Do you bite your nails? yes, constantly. it's a very bad habit of mine. Are you much of an adventurer? i can be. it depends on what exactly the adventure contains, but i'm typically down for most things. Do you like your own name? it's okay. How long has your longest ever phone call been? around 15 hours, i think. Have you ever stolen anything? no. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? no. Could you ever split up a couple for one reason or another? no. Do you get hayfever? no. Have you ever planted a tree? no. Do you believe in karma? no. Which celebrity do you find the most annoying? there's quite a few, but the first to come to mind was meghan trainor. If you discovered a new species of dinosaur, what would you call it? probably something reminiscent of my dog's name. i always call him my baby dinosaur, lol.

[apieceofconsciousness]

I made a stupid fucking caption about friends here that I never ended up liking because I couldn't word it properly so I wrote this

All of my memories are through photos and videos of these friends and maybe I’ll remember them fully someday. I sit on my bed eating a cheesecake and it is 1:16. I think about how I was 14. I am 17 now, i’ll be 18 in a few months. I try to imagine how my mind and thinking has changed in only half a year and it still escapes me. I’m grateful for it but i’m scared of acknowledging how different it was from my first year at high school.

i worry my brain will break doing all of this. But i take it in stride, and i’m not stupid. My brain is changing because i am growing, because of the summer, and because of me. I think differently and it’s something i grieve.

I can see the people around me getting addicted. Trying new things and not letting go, going for more, looking at more in the future. I realize my hypocrisy, but i know i’ve developed a discipline, kind of. i just hope they’re all ok.

some people i haven’t seen in a while and i miss them and i worry they hate me because i was busy for the last month and now i’m fucking things up and overthinking daily and fuck therapy better work when it starts because therapy in my own head is brutal and confusing and complicated and tiring and i’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. I can’t hold myself up and the season is changing. I don’t know what to do. I’ll be fine in the end like i have been before but not knowing how makes everything such an ache, a burden on top of being a burden.

I was more hopeful about the future 2 months ago. and it approaches and my crystal clear plan blurs into nothing more than an afterthought and every time i’m reminded of it i panic and i panic and for fuck’s sake i wish i could ask for help better. i wish i had learned to speak up for it.

I have school in 7 hours and i am 17. the semester just changed and i am in grade 12, my life isn’t over after high school, contrary to what i believed in elementary. I wish peace for myself and i work towards peace with my mental wounds but i can’t seem to fully get there yet, sometimes i question if this good day will last forever and then i sit down, and think.

i wish i was better for my partner, she doesn’t need my overthinking with her exhilarating and fast brain, but i know that she’s locked in at this point and we’ll figure it out.

maybe someday i’ll remember the face in the mirror fully, until then i look at them as if i’m encountering an old friend and look away just the same, because i know things have changed. my face is different, i was 7 and i couldn’t look out my bathroom window, i was 13 and i could, i am 17, and my house is changed. i don’t have a bathroom window and my walls are grey. the vent is falling out of the ceiling and i’m too forgetful to just screw it back in. my curtains don’t have designs that the child me would find faces out of, and my sink is more reflective of me, and not who i wish i would become.

i am 17. and i will be 18. and then i will mourn this age like i’ve mourn the last, and hopefully i will find peace, though i’m afraid i’ve found peace in this grievance. i love life but i hate mine, and my reasons for it getting foggy every day. i must learn to forgive myself, and i hope that will come. i need to let go, and i thought that had to come from blocking some accounts on social media, but i think i’m at peace with that, as i’ve written what i hope stands as a true summary of my feelings for a long time. i love my life, but i hate myself, i love the ability to observe people and culture and places and thoughts and expressions and beauty in so many forms, but i hate myself because i can’t do math or sit still in a chair or not focus with headphones.

maybe i’m a wreck, maybe that is what the later years of growing up is. I was scared that growing up would be boring, or that it would be great and go too quick, but i didn’t know i should’ve been scared that it would’ve been painful.

i hope the peace i long for finds me, and i hope the friends i can co-exist with stay close with me. i wish i was better at expressing the love i have and i hate that the people closest to me are the hardest ones to show my gratitude to, it’s my fault for my racing mind.

I have school in 6 hours, and i remember how my schedule was so different a year ago, how i thought i ruled a different part of the city, and where i bussed everywhere. i’m happy for my partner’s car, and she knows it, just as much as she knows i miss my board. i’m alive because of her. i really would’ve done it. this winter was going to be shit. or maybe i wouldn’t have, i pull back on everything last minute.

i understand why my friends love flowers and their friends and cats and oranges and unheard of niche games and the colour green, but a green somewhere in the spectrum of olive and forest green, closer to forest, and skateboarding and live concerts and music and books and poetry and god i hate that my mind was only aware and not obsessed with these things, these building blocks of my psyche and push me through every single day, i hope to whatever god that someday i’ll be able to express myself in the way only i ever want to and that i’m financially good enough for me and my mom since she puts up with my stupid ass and that my girlfriend stays there with me the whole time and that i get my creative outlets into the world and i hope that one day i wake up satisfied with my achievements, and that i continue afterwards.

i must learn to love myself, but until then i will love my friends the way i wish i could turn it inwards, and maybe it’ll help someone, and that’ll be worth it. i feel most like myself when i’m not doing good, and that’s ok, i’ve started to feel an odd comfort in feeling like myself even if the circumstances aren’t ideal.

i am older now, wiser, i have much more wisdom to gain, and i am appreciative of the good people in my life, i believe learning this early is important and i’m proud i work on it.

i am 17, and the promise of tomorrow calls me to rest tonight.

[sippinchampangeinmypanties]

It’s 2:11 and I can’t sleep because all my drunk ass can think about is you. Matt since 2017 you’ve been the love of my life. Everyone has tried to measure up to you and not a soul has. I’m finally coming to terms with a couple weeks ago was you saying goodbye to me. Because we hadn’t talked in for ever and suddenly you hit me up to tell you were happy for me. In a selfish way I would say I’m not happy because I’m not with you but ultimately everything happens for a reason.

Matt you were the greatest friend man and daddy I ever met. The love you had for your mama and daughter made me understand the way a man is suppose to love a women.

We met in elementary school but reconnected in high school as friends and lovers as adults and I wouldn’t change anything.

We never had an agreement or relationship contract but I didn’t want you with no one and I know you felt the same.

Forever I will love you.

Matthew ima miss the FUCKKKKK out of your ass how the fuck you leave without me seeing you again? Why you ain’t pop up at my job or just tell me to come see you somewhere. I think we all know that if you would’ve called no matter what I would’ve came running. That’s how deep my heart ran for you. You should’ve seen how many people prepped me and warned me about ur passing. everybody knew we knew it was something we fought but we both know we had a bond like nothing I ever experienced

I love you I appreciate you& I can not wait to see you again.

Thank you for making me a boss bitch and making me get on my shit and work harder. Thank you for every holiday call and Mother’s Day wishes. Thank you for loving me flaws and all no makeup no extra shit just us in my house chilling and laughing. I remember nights you came over and we laid in bed laughing and talking. I’ll never forget you. Ur voice your spirit ur love The confidence you exuded your goofiness ur style cause lord know you were the flyest mf to me. I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.

I love you forever ❤️