#high femme and pillow princess can be hard labels to use cause I feel like there’s a lot of guilt attached

[femmenems]

Okay okay I’ve been thinking about high femme identity/lack of “reciprocity” in stone relationships and I think for me at least the thing is that it’s not about effort given, a lot of the time it’s about initiation. like pretending that being a pillow princess is being lazy assumes that sex is the only way in your relationship that you’re putting in effort, and in a healthy relationship that’s not true. Even physically (obviously varying on what your partner is comfortable with, especially if they’re stone) like massages, taking care of them if they’re sick or hurt, holding and cuddling and casual affection are all things that can take effort or be giving actions and aren’t necessarily sexual. For me, I’m more than happy to do all of those things. I just want someone who’ll make the first move and initiate and take care of me in very specific situations.

and that’s really a big part of what it is; it’s about taking care of each other. and I think it’s more important that on the whole that care is reciprocated than just sex. calling someone selfish for not wanting to be on top isolates their sex life from everything else that happens in a relationship, and I just don’t think that’s fair.