#hiding my issues behind memes and humor

[frontmansdefender]

my parents were like we were gonna have sex and a random innocent child was going to be traumatized for the rest of her life she wished her parents never had sex

[sister-lucifer]

what’s wrong with you based on your favorite creepypasta

(don’t take these too seriously it’s all /lh)

Ticci Toby: You have the diet of a five year old and need to stop eating whatever food is put in front of you without thinking about it, you don’t know where it’s been. No, it is not okay to dig food out of the trash, even if it’s on top. I’m sorry your family is so shitty. You’re also trans masc and autistic and/or adhd (+ if you like toby you should participate in my strip game w him:))

Jeff The Killer: You need to stop getting violently angry at every minor inconvenience. Like seriously, it’s okay, take a deep breath. And stop yelling at people. I know that to you it’s a normal tone of voice but you’re much louder than you think. You’re also trans masc and still processing your internalized biases

Laughing Jack: Sorry about the abandonment issues, but you also shouldn’t latch on to anyone who shows you even the smallest bit of kindness, you’ll get yourself hurt. Remember, it takes time to build meaningful relationships, and that’s ok. Also your relationship with gender is weird, and you either don’t have a gender or have one that is so hyper specific and personalized that you’re the only one who will really ever understand it. And your fashion sense is weird

Eyeless Jack: Someone really hurt you once and you’ve never really been the same since. You don’t speak very much and sort of keep to yourself and prefer to observe social interactions rather than partake in them. You have more books than you’ve had friends ever and rant to yourself about them. And you never turn the lights on if you can help it

BEN Drowned: Stop hiding your intense emotions behind humor. Memes are not a replacement for therapy. Neither is weed, but you should probably keep doing that because it’s the only thing keeping you from an anxiety attack. Also you’re short. Gross

Nina The Killer: How’s the hypersexuality going? Seriously, you can’t pretend you’re not struggling with loneliness and a lack of meaningful connections by being horny. Get off twitter and ao3 for like five minutes PLEASE. And you’re still thoroughly invested in trends from 2010. You are cringe, but by god you are free. Also sorry about the unrequited crush but you should really move on

[stinkersupreme]

Completely agree with everything you said here, and I wanted to add that I think people who “cope” with hearing about current events in this manner are using the irony to shield themselves from having an actual emotional response (aka empathy, as you said).

This is similar to how people may use sarcasm, “edgy” humor, or self-deprecation to shield themselves from appearing vulnerable to other people or feeling “bad” emotions. These behaviors are only gratifying in the short term, because while you may never have to deal with being uncomfortable, you are actively stunting your own emotional growth.

The problem is that the memeification that is happening here on tumblr and on other websites has become so normalized that some people may not realize that the behavior they’re engaging in by absorbing news in this manner IS grotesque and maladaptive. It only gets easier to justify your behavior as more people participate in it, and this particular behavior is certainly widespread.

What’s more is that if you do confront someone about this, they are more than likely to go on the defensive because their main priority is to feel safe and comfortable, and YOU are forcing them to leave their bubble, if even only by a little.

It is much easier said than done to leave your comfort zone, of course. It’s not like I don’t understand wanting to feel safe or not wanting to feel pain or suffering or embarrassment. Sarcasm was always my shield as a teenager. But as soon as I started being genuine and stopped hiding behind the shield of irony and sarcasm, things got much better for me.

The same goes for getting your news from memes and always staying one extra layer removed from whatever is going on. The shit happening in the world all the time is terrifying and gut-wrenching and infuriating, I know. You may not know how to react to what you are hearing and seeing. It may make you feel small and insignificant. But it should make you feel SOMETHING, and the more you engage and the more you feel, the more you develop your empathy. It will make you a better, more emotionally-rounded person, I promise.

You will never have the perfect answer for everything, and you will never solve world issues with your actions alone. It’s not like the only options are either “do nothing about anything ever” or “give up all of your money and possessions and devote your entire life to planting trees and feeding people.”

Start small. Start with actually engaging with the news. Try to imagine your own life condensed into that headline you’re reading.

At the very least, I urge you to examine why you choose to view the news through memes and ask yourself how that’s actually helping you.

The "destielmemenews" blog rightly took down their post about Rebecca Cheptegei because of how insanely abhorrent it was and put out a poll asking if it should switch to posting news articles normally. The overwhelming results were no and these are some of the responses and I don't want to be insensitive here but you people need to grow the fuck up. This is NOT normal and it is grotesque that you can't find out about things happening in the real world without these two pasty ass men in the background. Just a severe lack of basic human dignity my god.

[south-park-fanart-archive]

Welcome! + Faq, Tags

The main mission behind this blog is to gather as much old, tumblr-based south park fanart as possible and give it a conventional, easily searchable home. While tumblr’s general search system may falter, or google may hide old blogs targeted by the faulty nsfw filters, this blog will be navigable by various tags. 

This blog was started on December 31st, 2021, starting out using the resources found on op’s old sideblog that has been collecting fanart since 2014. Many of these blogs are either no longer active, disabled, or were deleted by the mass banning in 2018 (sp fandom used to be full of p0//rn artists!), so the timestamps may not be accurate as some are no longer viable to pull from. Most posts are tagged directly by year (example, “2014″), while others may have a tag like "2014 or older”. This means that the post is at the maximum from 2014, but I don’t have an exact date, only the date I reblogged it. There are also some posts that were sourced and credited but were reposts (not posted by the original artist to tumblr) and those are tagged with “repost” and my best guess on the username of the original artist and the date.

(As a sidenote, even for archival purposes, I will not be posting any explicit nsfw to this blog to avoid any issues with tumblr’s flagging system. Any naughty-adjacent jokes will be tagged with “nsfw-ish”. There is also a tag “flashing gif” because there’s a couple of those for people who may have photosensitivity. There may also be art that has problematic elements, but anything too bad will be tagged as necessary.)

I tried to tag posts with both the artists current (or the last username they used before being disabled) username and a more recognizable username. Some may have been missed, so if you’re looking for someone specific, search the more recognizable name and then after finding it, plug the newer username into your search.

This blog is not just compiling old art, but art created recently in the sp tag. That way, we are creating the most comprehensive place to search for art, and once I’m done going through my old blog, it will have a good record all the way through the present. This way, in the future, if someone wants to look back at 2021 art, the resource is there!

-

Some tags to try and search:

https://south-park-fanart-archive.tumblr.com/tagged/[insert from below]

[year, ex. 2014]

[character, ex. Kenny] **NOTE: Tolkien is tagged as “Token” on this blog, as the archive was started before his name spelling was changed in canon. For consistency with what was already set up, this is how to find his fanart :)

[group, ex. Craig’s Gang; main 4 ;girls; group shot]

[au, ex. sot; fbw; coon and friends; general “au” tag]

[artist, ex. preoprix]

[ship, ex. creek]

[Season, ex “s18″] (this means the content was published in direct response to an episode from a specific season, or in preparation/hype for the new season)

-

Specific links:

https://south-park-fanart-archive.tumblr.com/tagged/askblog because remember those? There were a lot!

https://south-park-fanart-archive.tumblr.com/tagged/fandom%20history for posts that I feel are very relevant in some way to sp tumblr history. Either being very well known or infamous, or I feel are a fun retrospect.

https://south-park-fanart-archive.tumblr.com/tagged/the%20creekening speaking of fandom history, this is all the art that came directly before (much of the joke art submissions) and immediately following the airing of TxC.

https://south-park-fanart-archive.tumblr.com/tagged/memes vintage humor! [Also try the long leg craig meme specifically!]

https://south-park-fanart-archive.tumblr.com/tagged/fandom%20critique for art that critiqued or made fun of popular fanon or headcanons.

https://south-park-fanart-archive.tumblr.com/tagged/crossover see what people liked to mix sp with! (Homestuck. The answer is homestuck.)

https://south-park-fanart-archive.tumblr.com/tagged/op's%20favorite for art that I love in particular and I likely reblogged multiple times during my fandom experience <3

-

If all else fails, try the /search function, which will likely bring up something similar to what you’re looking for!

[ukeishin]

⊹ skin and bones.

note: ig makki deserves love or whatever 🙄🙄

inspired by this headcanon from @/mintmatcha.

ft. hanamaki takahiro.

wc: 1.1k

warning: gn!reader, insecurities, body image issues, hurt/comfort, timeskip!spoilers

Hanamaki is comfortable with himself. He’s confident for the most part and knows how to play to his strengths. He has a good sense of humor, so he likes to think and so he’s been told. He takes pride in the fact that it’s easy for him to spark laughter from others. He doesn’t let things affect him too much, never one to linger on events that have occurred in the past or fret over all the possibilities that the future holds.

But like every other person, Hanamaki has his weaknesses and insecurities. He’s just better at hiding it than most.

He knows he’s not the most attractive person ever, but that’s not to say Hanamaki necessarily dislikes how he looks. It’s just being friends with Oikawa, Matsukawa, and Iwaizumi in high school took its toll on him.

Objectively, Hanamaki knows his friends are attractive. He’s not blind. Oikawa had a whole fan club for fuck’s sake, but Matsukawa and Iwaizumi had their fair share of admirers as well. Hearing people talk about how everyone in your friend group is hot besides you doesn’t exactly boost one’s confidence. Hanamaki can’t recall how many times he thought a girl liked him, just for her to not so subtly ask if he could hook her up with one of his friends.

And that feeling stuck with Hanamaki even after he moved on from high school and graduated from college and met you. Standing in front of the mirror in your shared bathroom, Hanamaki’s body comes under scrutiny. His body’s changed a lot from high school. He’s put on some weight, evident by the slight pudge of his stomach and arms. His friends still look as great as ever, he thinks bitterly to himself. Oikawa’s a fucking pro-athlete while Iwaizumi’s an athletic trainer and Matsukawa? Well, Matsukawa’s Matsukawa.

“What are you doing Hiro?” Your gentle question has Hanamaki swiveling around to look at you. You’re leaning against the frame of the door, head tilted with a soft, knowing look on your face.

Hanamaki’s quick to slip on the t-shirt he has clutched in between his hands. “Was just checking myself out. You know, admiring my beauty?” He jokes, hoping that you won’t comment on what you saw. He thought you would still be out right now, catching up with one of your friends who you haven’t seen in a while. He must have spent more time looking in the mirror than he thought if you were home already.

“Hiro.” You place a hand on his arm, preventing him from putting on his shirt the rest of the way. “Can you take your shirt off for me, baby?”

He pauses. Slowly, Hanamaki inches his shirt up over his head and peels it off. He tenses underneath your light touch. Your palms hover over his chest before you reach up to entwine your fingers together behind his neck.

“Babe, if you wanted to see me naked all you had to do was ask,” Hanamaki jests, trying to lighten the mood.

“You’re beautiful, Hiro.”

Hanamaki isn’t quick enough to suppress the disbelieving scoff that escapes from his lips. Your brows furrow upon hearing the noise, prompting you to look at your boyfriend’s face, who’s pointedly looking away from you.

“Hiro, you know I love you, right?” Your hands slip from behind his neck to rest against his smooth cheeks. You gently tilt his head until he’s looking in your direction.

“Course I do. I love you too,” he quietly replies. Despite the situation, you can’t help the way your lips slope up into a small smile. You’re sure that you’ll never grow tired of hearing Hanamaki say those words.

“And since I love you that means I love you in your entirety. Your perceived flaws and all.” Hanamaki’s hands on your hips tighten, his nails digging almost painfully through the fabric of your shirt, but you don’t pay attention to the slight pain. Your attention is wholly devoted to the man in front of you, who you only wish could see himself the way you do.

Because to you, Hanamaki Takahiro is not perfect in the slightest.

He’s messy, always forgetting to tuck his shoes neatly in the designated spot by the door and leaving a trail of dirty laundry around your home more often than not. When you try and reprimand him about it, he only offers you a sheepish grin that looks completely unrepentant while telling you it won’t happen again. (It does happen again. And again. And again.)

He’s loud. When you’re attempting to get work done in the room that the two of you have designated as your office, you can still hear him playing his video games in the living room even if the door is closed. It’s irritating when all you want is peace and quiet so you can get some shit done and you can hear your boyfriend cursing out his friends for “sucking ass.”

But the thing is, even if Hanamaki isn’t perfect, which you never expected of him, you still love him completely.

Because Hanamaki’s considerate. Whenever you’re in a group and others drown out your voice, whether knowingly or unknowingly, and you’re left thinking that you’re better off just not speaking at all, Hanamaki is there by your side, prompting you to continue your thought. Because even if no one else wants to listen to what you have to say, you know that Hanamaki does, no matter how pointless you may believe it is.

He makes your day so much better without even realizing it. The countless dumb memes he sends throughout the day make you giggle and snort and shake your head, wondering how Hanamaki has such a large collection of cursed memes, seemingly for every possible occasion. And even though they’re dumb and stupid, they make you laugh and remind you that Hanamaki’s thinking of you.

And he’s so beautiful to you. You can feel the skepticism and doubt radiating off of his form, but Hanamaki is truly beautiful in ways that you cannot fathom. The smattering of freckles that litter his skin, the unbelievably pinkish hue of his hair, the soft curves of his arms and legs and stomach - you love it all.

Because you love him.

“I’m going to list some of the reasons I love you so much. Not all, because then we’d be standing here for an eternity.” That earns you a snort from Hanamaki. It’s not much, but you’re glad to see that his shoulders have relaxed the slightest bit. He pulls you closer until your chests are flush together and his forehead is touching yours.

“I think I can spare the time to listen.”

tagging: @babyworld.

[cringelordofchaos]

I had been summoned.

Im not great with explaining.

Im not sure if I wanna give away spoilers in case this person wants to watch it?

But basically, it's a Gacha webseries about the protagonist called Jake, who's been bullied in the past for his passions and interest. For years he had to act like someone he wasn't in order to please his closest friends because in reality they were all he had and he couldn't bear the thought of losing them at the time. He and his friends would bully the schools music club and Jake would do it alongside them because of peer pressure. That is until one day, he sings an edgy song on the schools rooftop and his crush catches him singing, and tells him to join the club. He then impulsively agrees with it and decides to join the club because he can't say no to his crush. He tells his friends that he's doing it just for his crush, and that he's going to leave the club once he sings in the competition, but his friends (ok only one of them who's gay for him) is sceptical of it.

As he joins the music club, he finds himself free to be himself, be passionate and happy around them and not having to hide who he is around them (sorta). He feels like home with them and even calls them his family. However one of his friends that used to peer pressure him into bullying the music club is definitely not happy about it, as he would spend more time with the club than the jomies (Jake + his homies). This also causes Jake feeling anxiety and feeling like he has to choose sides or sumth.

The series contains humor, angst, romance, friendship, rivalry, and more. While some of the characters don't get the exact treatment they deserve, all of them feel well rounded to me, and the shows writing is just good imo. There are also plenty of parallels between different characters and pairings I love to be with obsessed over (I really really like parallels in writing sometimes I accidentally try analyzing parallels in real life bc of it ). The relationship and the character's all feel imperfect and natural to me which feels like one of the shows greater strengths. The show also uses a lot of copyright-free music I wouldn't have found out existed otherwise.

Even when certain characters MIGHT feel shallow, there are plenty of headcanons and background information to make up for it, and random details and actions to base your theories on (which is why I luv Sean and random background/side characters so much).

I'll try summarizing characters in my own words as quickly as possible (this does not do justice for them btw)

Liam - vampire who has a thing for Stacy's mom. he's cool. and surprisingly emotionally mature imo??

Henry - a weird anime obsessed guy with a weird lettuce fetish of some sort lmao. canonically did lettuce-chan (fictional character in this universe) cosplays in the past. He has a meme bank and also probably jokes as a coping mechanism. simps for lia

Lia - at first seems like a pretty cliche mean girl, she literally either just agrees with whatever Zoey (nother cliche mean girl) has to say, and occasionally flirts with Jake. In reality she also suffers from peer pressure to fit in and she changed who she was in order to make friends with da popular kids IG. She left Hailey (music club member) for Zoey smh. But like the queen she is she gets a redemption arc and leaves Zoey behind cuz she doesn't need er

Zoey - cliche popular blonde mean girl who calls herself a girlboss. she's dating a college student and a gay teen her age for money and money exclusively. There's a theory that her family situation is actually pretty poor and that's why she's so desperate for money. she also mightttt have attachment issues though that's just me. She bullies milly

Milly - chaotic gremlin with anger issues who's been bullied a lot like almost everyone in this show. Canonically a multishipper. Physical embodiment of adhd

Jake - pretty insecure guy who lies often. but he does act pretty cocky often prolly to Maks lmao. prone to peer pressure and impulsive decisions. Good at flirting with everyone but his actual crush who he's incapable of having a normal conversation with

Daisy - Jakes crush. She practically seems perfect. But in reality she has to deal with a ton of pressure of extracurricular activities and her moms don't seem interested in her letting her have freedom at all. she gets embarrassed by crying in public. This girl needs freedom. She has stated it herself that she just wants something fun and free. Also she gets really excited and happy when it comes to the music club performing. Which is why in my essay I'll explain why she's a perfect fit for the music club-

Drew - Jakes jealous friend eho probably has attachment issues. And he definitely has anger issues too. Kinda manipulative but thinks HES the one being manipulated which is kinda true?? (It's complicated). He constantly tries to impress others mainly Jake with how rich his dad is and stuff. As the series goes on his mental health deteriorates more and more. Until it becomes a total breakdown. Anyway even thigh he's dating Zoey he's totally gay for Jake

Hailey - perfectionist with (social) anxiety and stage fright caused by her being bullied in the past. Passionate about music. Kinda sassy ig

Sean - chill guy who's usually in the background. Mature and relaxed and takes his time understanding others. Patient and really kind. Especially calm for someone who has parents who argue a lot. He feels like his parents aren't paying much attention to him cuz they argue so much, which is why he's probably so attentive to everyone and how they're feeling? Like idk that's just me

Luke -

Zander - anger, trust and (bio) father issues. gay AND European.

Elliot - random soft flower femboy who has a crush on Milly who likes him back. prolly autistic

Anyway there's characters I missed in kinda tired rn but yeah. ask me anything if needed

what's tmf ???

tmf stands for the music freaks:3 it's a gacha voice acted/musical series that you can watch here!! the animation gets better throughout the series imo

oh and also. @astromilo @cringelordofchaos help me out for a more in depth explanation on tmf and it's synopsis or smth 😭

[equizona]

I'm an introvert who gets confused with an extrovert most of the time cuz I do dumb shit. I have ADD and I'm a maladaptive daydreamer. I love anime, vines and memes. Love maths and history and I'm great at those but I'm awful at science. I'm a bit touch starved and possibly clingy. Remember the kazoo kid fic? Basically that (sorry for the person that asked for it). I do fandubs and covers. Love superheroes. I'm bilingual (spanish is my native language). And I'm 1.60 m or 5"25 in burger system.

So I thought you meant ADHD but then I remembered that ADD was also a thing and then my brain just went 'what.' Uhm, anyway, I've done a SAIKI K match-up and a BNHA match-up so uh yeah– also is it obvious that I love Aren–

I match-up you with...

Kaminari Denki[BNHA]

Kaminari definitely 100% has ADHD so he can probably relate to your issues to some degree.

Literally he's the God of memes the two of you would get along so well what–

He SUCKS at math please help him–

NOW

THIS BOY ABSOLOUTLY ADORES PHYSICAL CONTACT

Hand holding? Hugs? HE IS DOWN FOR IT— he's super happy if you don't mind physical contact and will hold your hand 24/7

He also finds it super cool that you speak Spanish?? like, he could n e v e r.

Now this boy is GREAT at cheering people up if they are feeling anxious or depressed so if you ever feel sad he is your go to man.

NOW THIS BOY IS THE MOST SOCIAL CREATURE ON THE PLANET

Like, trust me, if anyone ever overwhelmed you?

Just go up to him, and hide behind him as you find something to do on your phone. Also grab his hand he'd great at holding hands no I will not change my mind shoo and he'll take care of it!

He can be your social shield and he will be your social shield. Don't test him.

Overall 10/10 great boyfriend

Kuboyasu Aren[Saiki K]

This boy is such a softie omg

Like he's a softie who comes off as a delinquent who is trying to come off as a softie

Does it make sense? No.

Are we going with it anyway? Yes.

OKAY SO HERE'S THE THING HE'S AN INTROVERT TOO

But he is also very fast meaning that if you ever get overwhelmed he's probably overwhelmed as well so he'll just grab you and run and then if someone asks just say your boyfriend is weird it's a foolproof plan—

Okay anyway I definitely think he likes history and science, so he'd defiantly enjoy doing history projects together.

He's also good with science and would do his best to help you with it<3

THIS BOY TALKS GANG NOT MEME SO HALF OF THE TIME YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER BUT THAT'S FINE–

He has trouble picking up on normal behavior but he has had run ins with drunk meme humored people so he'll pick up on it...

Eventually....

Teach him about memes and vines please it would be amazing–

Also he's so down to watch anime with you. He likes a lot of the ones with darker themes but he's up for anything as long as you're happy

10000/10 would definitely recommend–

[meggannn]

ship meme: shakarian, shepley, vhawke

sorry i’m late babe!! i already answered shakarian so here are the others

SHEPLEY:

What made you ship it?

starting from my first playthrough, Ashley has been one of my Shepard’s favorite companions because of her easiness to talk to, practicality (that conversation about siccing your dog on the enemy and running the other way is crude but accurate, and Shepard knew that), and also I think Shepard sees a bit of herself in Ashley, where deep down, she really doesn’t have that high of an opinion of herself. like most of my ships, I enjoy a “best friends” angle there—I wouldn’t call my Shep and Ashley best friends, because like, Ash probably considers her sisters her best friends, but on the Normandy especially after Kaidan’s death, I think they share a lot of unspoken mutual connections as the only human women combatants who are expected to carry humanity’s legacy in this war.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

they have a lot of things in common at first glance, but the further you look, the more they feel like mirror opposites in other ways. they’re both level-headed marines that take their career trajectories very seriously. in my head, Shepard and Ash are also both woc, so they have that in common on the SR-1 as the only combat women onboard. my Shep and Ash are also both older sisters, although Lydia failed to keep her sibling alive, and Ash succeeded in successfully raising four younger sisters; Ash has a big family and they’re very dear to her, and Shepard has none, and in fact, a lack of family is a big thing for her because she feels she rebuilt herself in the Alliance. yet, they’ve both built identities around being career soldiers.

they both know sacrifices are going to be made in war; they don’t have to mince words with each other. but maybe the biggest thing is that while Shepard is highly recognized, Ashley’s skills are constantly looked over and pointedly ignored, and yet Ashley doesn’t let that bother her at all. eventually, when they both become Spectres (and post-Ash’s promotion) they gain equal footing in rank, but Ash is still more than willing to take orders from Sheaprd because she believes in them that much. so like... the ease with which they’re able to fall into each other’s orbit again after reconciling on Huerta. they acknowledge Horizon was a low point in their relationship that was neither of their faults. if Shep keeps visiting her, Ash trusts Shep entirely again by the time of the coup that she turns on Udina herself. if Shep puts effort into meeting her halfway, Ash returns so much.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

well... idk if this is unpopular but I really only ship femshepley... sorry mshep players...

VHAWKE:

What made you ship it?

I know the exact fic that started all this, Liquid Courage by pibroch. I remember seeing this in a friend’s bookmarks and going “what? varric/hawke? that’s stupid. that would never happen.” then my cursor moved and clicked it without my consent and then suddenly I was reading it. and I remember thinking this had a nice Varric voice, so I kept reading for that at first. iirc the angle was that they start something as friends with benefits, and then Varric realizes as he’s picking up a gift for Hawke he’s caught big feelings and oh shit. and then I was oh shit too.

eventually, damalur’s fic became a big reason I stayed with it—she wrote so much vhawke back in the day—and then her starting starting the hightown funk exchange kept it a regular interest.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I won’t say “best friends to lovers” again, I promise (even though it’s true)

I have a mix of reasons here that are similar to the answers I wrote in my shepley and shakarian responses, about grief, and found family, and juxtapositions, and blah blah. the long and short of it is that they’re both very similar in several ways, but in other ways they’re mirror opposites, but I think, at least with friend!Varric, that their relationship is one of the only reasons either of them gets through DA2 at all.

a big theme for Hawke, of course, is family. DA2 is, among other things, the story of how they slowly end up losing one family and gain another (and possibly lose that one too if their friends leave them in the story). Varric is a little of the same way: he’s lost his parents and eventually loses Bartrand to betrayal; the person who is there for him before, during, and after is Hawke. they both sort of become each other’s lifeline for the greater found family no matter whatever chaos Kirkwall or the rest of their friends descend into. bioware obviously intended for Varric to be your bff, and while in Mass Effect with Garrus I think this attitude of forcing a companion to be your best friend had its problems, with Varric I think it works better because Varric is meant to be a “true neutral” compared to the others that sticks by you not because he always necessarily supports you, but because he finds you interesting enough to tell stories about. morally and politically, this has its issues, because he’s a centrist and even if he’s sympathetic to mages, he’s also a ~both sides have their good points~ kind of guy, and besides, he’s more of a talker than a doer. but Hawke speaks in actions, so it makes sense to me that he’s so fascinated by them: Hawke has the courage to do all this heroic stuff that he’s only ever written books about. of course he’s going to write about them too!

but while he starts viewing them as a sort of iconic, larger-than-life figure, he realizes over the years that by penning his best friend’s exploits, he’s made them a political target as the violence in the city grows—and eventually, he realizes he might have straight-up ruined Hawke’s life. it’s a burden of his own that he bears as Hawke shoulders the weight of the city: they both feel like Kirkwall’s downfall was their fault. post-DA2, they both set off to try to make it right in the best way they can, Hawke by leaving, and Varric by setting the story straight and protecting his friends the best way he knows how, with words. a big part of why all of that attracts me is just the drama of it all if you decide to view that romantically—especially if Varric recognizes his feelings but chooses not to say something, like if Hawke is with someone else—but really I see Hawke and Varric’s relationship as a tragedy no matter if it’s platonic or not.

of course a lot depends on how you play Hawke, but no matter if they’re blue/red/purple, I think they hide their grief behind whatever their facade is. Varric is much the same, where he hides his behind humor and only really expresses himself fully in writing—however exaggerated—but also growing up in a family full of bitter alcoholics has given him the ability to recognize when his friend’s at a low point, and how serious that low point is. since he’s sort of a peacemaker, his inclination is to look out for them without forcing them to talk about their grief; I’m really attracted to ships that have that “I’m here if you need me” energy with no pressure attached.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

hm, I don’t think so? I think this ship has the potential to work in a lot of different ways so where I’m normally picky about the way I like things, with this one I am more open to interpretations I wouldn’t normally like.

I guess, idk if this is unpopular, but I don’t really have any hard feelings against Bianca, although I am not convinced Varric’s infatuation for her is healthy. so in general I am in favor of him finding a way to move on from her, although that isn’t the main reason I like vhawke

[darkly-dreaming-dexter]

Humor Me

My mother taught me when i was little if I laughed at myself nobody else could...They would have to laugh with me instead. I thought that was good...Now my sense of humor is my mask it would seem... people only see what I want them to. I’m nothing more than a walking meme... All they see from the outside looking in is just a clown... but they don’t see what happens after the show. They don’t see the mental breakdown... they don’t see the tears as they fall from my eyes... if they could I still wonder if they would even realize... I wonder if they would realize I’m crying while I’m laughing... I wonder if they would see the pain and the whirlwind of emotions I feel trapped in... I wonder if I can even take the mask off at all now... it’s been so long since I put it on in the first place. I don’t know when i put it on. Let alone how... and now I wish so badly that I could take it off and let them see... but the demons waging war in my head, they just won’t let me be... and I’m so sick and fucking tired of laughing through all of it... through the pain and the hurt and the anxiety. This is bullshit... This can’t be what I was made for... no this can’t be it. I know that I was meant for so much more... but what exactly I’m unsure... I’ve tried my whole life so far to figure that part out... but all I seem to find is more self loathing and more doubt... I was so close to that light not too long ago... now it seems like it’s getting further away again if I dare say so... another trick from the demon that plagues my sense of reality... he makes sure I stay confused. And that I don’t let anyone see the real me... I’ve been too tired to keep chasing him the past few days... I’ve gone through the motions of existing in a haze... just get through the day Dex. That’s all you have to do... I just wish I wasn’t so fucking afraid to show the closest ones to me what my mind is going through... it gets exhausting being alone in a room full of people... knowing they love me. How much they care. And it’s not that I’m not grateful... every word I try to speak just comes out another joke... it’s enough to drive me insane, so I light up another smoke... I’m screaming behind all that laughter and nobody can hear me... The monsters in my head are tearing apart every last shred of my reality... I’m so sick and tired of always saying that I’m fine... but it’s all that I can seem to make come out of this cursed mouth of mine... it’s almost enough some days to shut me up for good... not being able to take off the mask. Not ever being understood... and it’s nobody’s fault that my mind feels like it’s haunted... so I do my best to make them laugh because their smiles are all I ever wanted... make em laugh kid. That’s all you have to do in order to win... I didn’t realize when she taught me that it’s where so many of my issues would begin... I didn’t think I would still be hiding behind the mask of a clown... I would give anything just to be able to rip all my walls down... but anymore the clown seems to be all I know how to be... and it’s all anyone else seems to be able to see... so I guess all I can do for now is take a knee... and hope that tomorrow the demons in my head don’t destroy my reality... it’s a long shot. But here’s to hoping. Please. Just humor me...

[flirting-with-psychology]

99 gay-ish asks (I’m (mostly) not gay but I wanna see what I’m like anyway)

how tall are you? 5′6″

what is your body type? A little overweight

what is your favorite part about your body? My eyes

is your current hair color your natural hair color? Yes

are you more outgoing or more shy? More shy but I wish I was more outgoing

are you more femme or butch? Femme

are you tol or smol? Average but I guess a little more tol

wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt

weird habit? Making graphs and lists

favorite meme? The guy checking out the other girl

do you sing in the shower? Yes

ever used a bow and arrow? At camp

are/were you a theatre kid? Kinda, I like theater and I took part in school musicals but I never fit in with the theater kids

have you ever seen a broadway musical? Yes

do you think musicals are cheesy? Yes and I love them 

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? No

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? I don’t have a single favorite but I have always dreamed of making the combo: Harry Potter Erotica + An Oedipus Complex = Being a Motherfucking Sorcerer

last movie you watched? Guardians of the Galaxy

behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

favorite tv show? Friends

meaning behind your url I studied psychology and I like to flirt

reason you joined tumblr It seemed funny

who’s your closest tumblr friend? Probably @cultured-pearl​

what’s something most people love that you hate? Tomato sauce

have you ever taken narcotics? Not for fun, maybe for prescription after surgery

have you had sex? Yes

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Not really

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? Probably something in Among Us

describe your passion without mentioning it. They’re cute

describe your best friend. Funny and nerdy

give us one thing about you that no one knows. If no one knows it why would I tell hundreds of strangers?

how do you feel right now? Ok

what is your biggest fear? Spiders

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? In A Crowd of Thousands from Anastasia

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Probably going to college or something

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? Yes

something you fantasize about. Having shapeshifting powers or winning the lottery

last time you cried and why Yesterday from stress

what was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably a meme

do you really, truly miss someone right now? I miss a lot of people

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? My parents or my boyfriend

the last time you felt broken? Yesterday

are you starting to realize anything? Nothing good

are you more dominant or more submissive? I guess dominant once I’m comfortable

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) I think you’re cute and funny

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? My age plus or minus a few years

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. Tall, light skin, brown hair, freckles, hazel eyes

do you have any kinks? Not really

first thing you notice in a person? Their face

how can someone win your heart? Idk

been rejected by a crush? A lot

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? A lot

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? No they are my parents

is trust a big issue for you? Not especially

did you hang out with the person you like recently? Yes I am with him now

is confidence cute? yes

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I’d be pissed and insecure

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? Yes

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Yes

do you want to get married Eventually

worst thing you’ve ever done? Jumped onto a kid’s arm on the playgound when he was below me on the jungle gym

three things that turn you on. Confidence, good hair, good face

who do you hate? Mitch McConnell

favorite term of endearment? Idk, it’s cutest when it’s specific to the person

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Hayden Panettiere was probably my first celebrity girl crush

intimidating girls or kind girls? Kind

what do you look for in a possible partner? Sense of humor

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? Feminine

are you good at flirting? No

who was the first person you came out to? I haven’t had to come out

do you have any friends who are wlw? Yes

is your crush wlw? No

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? A girl on my Birthright Israel trip

write a short love poem to your crush/self? Nah

do you fall in love easily? Idk

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Not really

are you good at hiding your feelings? Not even a little bit

are you a forgiving person? Yeah

what is your “type?” Personality: class clown, confident, witty, sciencey. Looks: Light skin, dark hair, blue eyes

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? Fall asleep in his arms

tall girls or short girls? Tall

hugs or kisses? Hugs

twirl her around or get twirled? Get twirled

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Thigh I guess, not a huge fan of either

hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neck

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? Hair

making out or soft kisses? Depends on the mood

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Both

how confident are you in your sexuality? Mostly

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? Oh yes

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? Yes but not a close friend, most of the time I realize I like people before they get too close. And yes I have told some

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? I liked my first girl in 2nd grade but I still am like 98% straight

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? Idk, probably was just awkward

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? I liked the Nerdy Twin and Audrey from Rules of Engagement, and it was canon. A lot of people don’t like Audrey though for some reason

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? Nothing really

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? The israel trip

what is love to you? Idk

ask me anything. 

[himbowelsh]

Well if its my brand you can hardly blame me for asking for more. Shifty/tab and the prompt stab wounds? Thanks so much :) youre a star 🌟🌟🌟

a little fall of meme can hardly hurt me now  ( accepting )

It probably says something that this isn’t the first time Tab’s gotten stabbed. Hell… it’s not the first time this year. Not the first time these past few months. Not the first time he’s gotten stabbed in that same damned shoulder.

What’s it Lieutenant Welsh likes to say? “War is hell?” No kidding.

Of course, this time he fancies it's a bit more serious than the last time. Smith gave him a good poke, and then he was done. The German soldier they found hiding under a hay bale, Nazi-issued blade in hand, was a lot more determined. He landed three solid hits — two to Tab’s shoulder, and one to his chest — before Shifty’s quick reflexes took him out.

And now… well. Tab would take the night of the bayonet over this any day.

“It’s not so bad.” Shifty’s voice is soft and low, intent in the way only he can be. Instead of looking at Tab, his dark gaze is fixed firmly on his own hands. He can’t decide which injury to put pressure on, because there are just too many; torn, he darts back and forth between them all, bearing down until the worst of the bleeding ceases. Every time Shifty presses a little harder, Tab’s ribs feel ready to give out; with each breath, a little more blood bubbles out of the wounds, soaking Shifty’s fingers bright red.

“Not bad at all.” Murmuring seems to help — Shifty, that is, even if it doesn’t do much for Tab. “They aren’t so deep... enough to draw blood, but I don’t believe they’ve hit anything vital.”

“Ah, great. Just my body. Nothing important, then.”

“Nothing you can’t recover from.” Shifty huffs, pressing hard against Tab’s shoulder. Unwillingly, a whimper escapes the wounded man; it happens too fast for Tab to help it, but he bites down on his lip a second later. No crying, idiot. Not like it really hurts, anyway… it hurt when it happened, but now everything just feels sort of distant. A numb pain, compared to the agony of actually getting stabbed. They don’t mention that part in army training — after a while, mortal injuries just become old hat. Kind of boring, really.

(Oh god, he’s stabbed in three goddamn places, he’s lost a lot of blood, oh god —)

Shifty’s gaze is on him, too sympathetic for Tab to bear. He closes his eyes instead, head hitting the wooden barn door behind him. “No medic yet? N-n sign of anybody?”

“Tab,” replies Shifty. “There could well be a marching band out there, trumpets and all, but I wouldn’t know it. Right now, I’m only worried about you.”

Any other day, those words would leave him feeling dizzy and warm all over. At the moment, he just feels — well, dizzy, definitely, but cold. The heat is leeching out of his limbs with every drop of blood, and that’s probably a bad thing… but the more the world goes blurry at the edges, the easier it is to stare at Shifty’s face. He focuses on that, on the steady presence hovering above him, rather than the increasing certainty that he’s in trouble.

He doesn’t want to die like this. It’s a horrible thought to have, one he shouldn’t even entertain, but — god, there’s so much he hasn’t done. He still has to post that letter to his Ma, and his brother just turned eighteen, he hasn’t even written… and Trigger is waiting back at base somewhere, hoping he’ll come back with a treat… how disappointed will he be if Tab doesn’t come back at all? No way. Can’t happen. He’s got to make it out of here, if only for the dog’s sake.

“If no one’s coming to get us,” he manages after a painful, silent moment, “then we’ve gotta get moving ourselves.”

It takes a second for his words to sink in. When they do, Shifty’s eyes widen. “Like this? You can’t!”

“I can.”

“Tab, you’re in no shape to —“

Tab pushes himself up, bracing himself against Shifty’s shoulder for balance. As soon as his friend’s weight lands against him, Shifty goes silent. “As long as I’ve got you,” Tab grits out, “I can do it. We can.” 

Shifty’s lips flutter as the words wash over him. Tab’s heart pounds hard, like it’s ready to burst.

“Now, come on, Shift,” he says, and hauls himself to his feet.

It’s a bad idea. Almost immediately, the world flickers out like a broken projector reel, and his legs turn to noodles under him. It takes Tab a moment to realize he hasn’t hit the ground at all. By the time it dawns on him, Shifty’s already got a firm grip, one arm around his waist as he slings Tab’s arm over his shoulders. Because it’s the most he can do at this point, Tab clings to him.

“I’ve got you,” Shifty says… and his voice is so soft, so steady, that Tab could anchor himself to it forever. It leaves him feeling… steady. As long as Shifty’s by his side, he’s not going anywhere… anywhere except back to the company, that is. Back to safety, back home. “Right, now. We’ve got to get you moving. Move with me, Tab.” Shifty takes one step forward, urging him to do the same. Somehow, Tab manages. The bright blossoms of crimson along his army greens feel uncomfortably wet, but they don’t seem to be growing much bigger. Hit nothing important, except me, Tab’s hazy mind echoes, and he could almost burst into laughter on the spot.

Instead, he walks. With Shifty setting the pace, it’s easy to follow. By the time they break out of the barn and into daylight, it feels like being reborn. The chilly Holland air wakes him up a bit. Tab inhales a deep breath, ignoring the pulse of pain in his chest.

“Just fine that you can still breathe like that. If it were your lungs punctured, you’d be having a lot more trouble.”

Shifty says this so casually that Tab can’t help stumbling. Without faltering a step, Shifty’s arm just tightens around Tab’s waist; he keeps urging him forward.

Some things, Tab would never say out loud on a good day… but today has been a very, very bad day. He’s lost enough blood to keep somebody else alive; his body’s aching, heart pounding, and with the world spinning around him as it is the only constant is Shifty. His mind wanders in a thousand directions, but somehow they all begin and end with the man beside him. And of course, Tab would never say some things out loud, but sometimes… a fella just doesn’t know when he’ll get the chance again.

“Y’know, Shift…” he declares, words half-slurred and half-coherent. “You’re somethin’ else.”

“Am I, Tab?”

“Absolutely.” Tab’s head lolls against Shifty’s shoulder, but he doesn’t stop. They keep walking — one foot after the other. “I think… you’re the bravest guy I’ve ever met.”

Shifty doesn’t reply for a long moment — so long that Tab’s not sure he hasn’t dozed off, just to wake up somewhere nicer — but when he does speak, his voice is soft, warm with what could almost be humor. “I wouldn’t say that at all,” Shifty replies. “Or… I might say the same thing, as a matter of fact, but it wouldn’t be about myself.” A pause, almost tentative. “You know who I’d say it about, Tab.”

Sure do, Tab thinks, forcing his heavy limbs to keep pressing forward. He knows. Everybody knows. Ask anyone, and they’d say the same thing. After all… how could there be any doubt in anybody’s mind that Shifty Powers is the best damn man in this company?

[legobiwan]

Obi-Wan of course, for the character meme, please and thank you!! I love your Obi analysis!!!!!

:)

(sung to the tune of “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof) Represssiooooon! Repression! Do-dooooooooo-do-repression! (take it up a major third!) Repressiooooooooon! Respression! Do-doooooooooo-do! Okay, I jest, but Obi-wan is a master of repressing his emotions when he very clearly feels things deeply. Qui-gon rejects his suggestions, projects that he feels Obi-wan is behind on his development as a Jedi without saying why, and then casts him aside in front of the Council for the promise of a prophecy that meant more to him than their relationship? Fine, swallow it, believe in the prophecy for Qui-gon’s sake, because, oh yeah, he’s dead and tasked Obi-wan with raising said prophecy in complete opposition to what the Council ordered, fine I’ll just swallow those feelings, too and raise a young child when I’m not prepared to do so. What, you say? Satine? Oh yes, nothing there, I let that go except I won’t even disarm this one bad guy in front of her because she’d look at me differently and I may have gone against not only the Council but the entire Republic government to interfere with a neutral system and try to save her but no, nothing happened, I’m not letting Ahsoka be put on trial because I feel guilty about my attachment actually coming to light. Anakin, you meant? No, no issues there, I know he has something going on with Senator Amidala but it’s fine and he kind of hates me after the Hardeen incident and I couldn’t quite kill him on Mustafar so I’m going to go dehydrate in the desert for the next 20 years everything is fine. Maul? Ha. (nervous laughter). No problems. No, none at all aside from that time I tried to chop him in half undefended and may have kicked his ass and Savage’s ass simultaneously because I was a little miffed at the whole situation. No, I’m fine. Really. Just going to...reach out...and have a glass of whiskey. Or two.

Along those lines, I have a headcanon (that comes out in a lot of my writing) that Obi-wan is a functional alcoholic. I mean, that repression has to come out somewhere.

I’ve mentioned this before, but just as Obi-wan represses his emotions, he also represses his abilities. I mean, come on, the man was able to jar’kai Savage and Maul at the same time and make it look good. That scene is savage and I love him for it. Same with Mustafar. He beats peak-powered Anakin Skywalker (who, to be fair, was emotionally unhinged and thus a little distracted but still...) Obi-wan allows himself to get beaten, consciously or unconsciously, because he’s holding back with his true abilities (and whether or not this is some kind of self-punishment for his supposed faults or some extension of Qui-gon’s weird withholding nature I’m not sure. Probably a combination of both, tbh.)

Obi-wan is a good teacher, but subtle about it. Unlike Dooku, who struts across the stage with lessons and advice, Obi-wan hints, he questions, he leaves it up to his student(s) to figure out the answer for themselves, much like the Yoda we saw in Jedi Lost. He also cares so much about Anakin and Ahsoka, and tries to lighten their load in small ways that they both probably never notice (this is a prime, but not solitary example). But he asks for no credit, never even hints at having done anything because he might not realize it himself and he would downplay his actions. 

Again, as I’ve mentioned before - repression fo emotions, plus exacting standards for one’s self, plus a knife-edge intellect and sense of humor - Obi-wan Kenobi would be a terrifying Sith. Think about how he kept everyone moving forward in the face of death and disaster in the Citadel arc, how he accepted the Hardeen fiasco and now invert it so those impulses are made towards darker goals.

On the other hand, Obi-wan is just as much a disaster as everyone else in this damn Lineage. It’s just that he (and Dooku) are better at hiding it behind a fancy accent and manners. 

(Ask me about a character!)

[fivefootab1tch]

allllllrighty~ here’s my tHING~<3 i recognize that i talk pretty fast (and i was also trying to be hushhush so i probably didn’t come out as clear as i wanted to) so i’m including a script under the cut~

Tagged by @momtaku, @laffitine, & @dirtylevi ~ ♡ //thank y'all smmmmm// Tagging @shuuhuu @madcapraccoon @matcha-castella @starry-raven​ & everyone else on here who needs an excuse to do it and wants to. i’ll share the love and peer pressure asdkjfnak

'Aight, so here's my stab at Mamataku's SnK Voice Meme 4.0! I wrote a script to try and keep myself on track, but... the fuck if I ever know how to play right, so here we go~

State your name and username. 『sal, fivefootab-i-tch』 Is there a story behind your user name that you’d like to share? 『it's from an o.g. fandom video called "More Sassy Levi (Ezekieru Outtakes)". this was way before i was more or less tumblr savvy and i've gone through variations of it before settling on this one to mimic Ezekieru's pronunciation of BITCH. i'd wanna have a completely hyphenless version of this url to make my presence easier for the tumblr system to SWALLOW, kkkk but it's taken. the version of it with a 1 instead of the i isn't though... so maybe i'll switch to that one, i dunno. what's a brand?』 Where are you from? 『i'm from the states, southern california, bordertown asscrack of the U.S. you might get that lazy, high as balls, surfer feel from my voice since i've been here all my life』 How long have you been a fan of the series? 『i'm about two years late from the anime release, and i only know this because i immediately started writing fanfiction after binging the series in summer 2015. so... coming on 4 years? damn.』 What is your favorite and least favorite Arc? 『my favorite arc is the uprising arc, a pretty popular opinion, for a lot of reasons: the sudden turn of events, levi's collarbones, levi as a kid, KENNY, the characters all having their own unique identity crisis as their morals are suddenly taking turns, historia reclaiming her identity... (which was something that hits a little too close to home for comfort, but what's a good series that doesn't rip your personal feelings to shreds?)』 『i'm not a big fan of the marley side of things, another pretty popular opinion. for me, suddenly switching to a new cast of characters and setting after so much was accomplished in the uprising arc and return to shiganshina felt like betrayal. i mean... they get to the basement, which was the whole ass goal of the entire series up to that point, then we suddenly screech to a halt to tell someone elses' story. i can understand it... theoretically? i guess? bbut the whole time i was still like "wait a minute, what happened with the main cast?" bits and pieces of it have grown on me since, but i still have a ways to go to invest myself. politically, i just realized... marley really grinds my gears. why did i have to realize this? i'm shook. i can't believe this. i'll process it later.』 Do you have a favorite moment in the story thus far? 『eren screaming "the world outside the walls is my birthright" for... reasons. historia reclaiming her identity for... reasons... i've found myself hyperinvested in this series for immensely personal reasons i hope to eventually see through in my own life. i wanna be free, too. i also liked the moment in the uprising arc when levi thanked armin for saving jean. it was rough, but something he needed to hear. also any moment levi praises people. it's really cute.』 If you could resurrect one dead character who would it be and why? 『kuchel, because not only does levi deserve his mother but i would've loved to see more of her and how she raised levi into the compassionate kind of guy he is now. that side of him survived the tough love kenny put him through, so she must've breathed hella life into her kid and that's something i'd love to have seen more of』 Who is your favorite character and why? 『levi, for a lot of obvious as well as not so obvious reasons.』 『obvious reasons: he's pretty fucking cute. his sass and one liners are hilarious. his sense of humor's a clusterfuck of bad shit jokes and dark takes the people around him don't understand half the time and that's pretty funny in itself. he's o.p. as hell but the way the story makes it not matter when it comes down to it (because the universe is just THAT fucked up) is really something. he's in a league of his own but the depth of his characterization and development shows that's only a small part of who he is. the story demands so much more of him and the ways he rises (and sometimes falls) to the occasion makes me really like him. he's showcased as Humanity's Strongest but he's still human and flawed as fuck.』 『not so obvious reasons: he says fuck gender roles. he's short and makes the trans guy side of me feel pretty good. that particular character trait isn't just a gag for me. he started from the bottom now he's here. he always sides with the powerless, the helpless. he (to his own personal moral code) uses the strength he has for good as opposed to using it to keep people below him, something he could very well do if he uncritically internalized everything kenny spoonfed him, and wanted to. he doesn't sit on a moral high horse. he's open minded and accepting of letting people decide things for themselves. he's humble. if he doesn't understand something, he'll look to other people and he does all that while remaining confident and assertive in his own abilities. he doesn't hold himself above doing the dirty work if he feels he's best suited to do it. he genuinely cares about people and does his best to talk them through their issues when they need it, even if he's clumsy while doing it. it's really inspirational and personally validating .』 Any OTPs? 『erejean hits me a certain way. they're everything "boys will be boys" is SUPPOSED to mean, and i still can't get over jean calling eren cool. they're just so funny and i love their dynamic. hange and petra hits too for a reason i don't really understand yet. i don't get super invested in pairings, but i do like seeing character dynamics being explored in different lights and stuff. **** i bonded with my partner over roleplaying an au ereri thread, so that pairing's pretty special too. i didn't ship it at first, but being open to it has led me to getting to know this amazing person, so... yeah.』 You are able to transport to the SnK Universe for a day. How do you spend it? 『helping out. i don't know what i'd be able to contribute, but i'd want to be doing something to make the lives of the main cast easier. they have it really hard, and so many times i wanted to be able to do something for them. so i write my original characters into fanfiction. on the other hand, if it's a world where i'm independent and free to live whatever life i wanna live, i'd wanna go absolutely apeshit first. see everything there is to see and live all the life there is to live. ****perform a strip tease at a scout party and have the officers stick bills into my boobs.**** THEN commit myself to some sort of social or military work for the scouting legion. ****be their comfort... if yaknoe what i mean. it's good honest work~♡****』 Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong or Eren Jaeger did everything wrong? 『eren jaeger is what eren jaeger does. i can't vouch for whether or not he's right or wrong because there's no way i can really put myself in the situation he's in. mass genocide is very wrong, without a doubt, but something tells me there's something else going on and his real intentions are more complicated. a pivotal point in the series for him was his tribunal, where levi played the role of the arrogant wank to save his life and beat his ass before the whole military court. i think there's something similar going on here. he could be playing a role too, but it still stands that i have no idea. i'm not so invested in condemning or glorifying him, because the things i enjoy about his character aren't really going to be influenced.』 What is your favorite song in the series? Feel free to sing an extract 『i love them all. hiroyuki sawano makes such amazing soundtracks and all the vocals are powerful and chilling as fuckall hell. some favorites i do have are red swan, Vogel im Käfig, Bauklötze, call your name, it's answer song call of silence, youseeBIGGIRL, the spanish version of so ist es immer. so uh... even though i'm not very good at it, i do really love singing, so... i'm gonna try and sing some for y'all. i know a lot more english, japanese, and spanish than i do german so... i'm sorry!』 ****『Like the scarlet night veiling the dark You can hide your fear Can lie, my dear Kono mama yume wo mite Chi darake no tsubasa Hirogete』**** 『Las sillas ya juntas están Charlamos toda la noche  Este lugar no esta nada mal  Y creo que nos llevamos bien ****Solo estamos nosotros  Siempre es nuestra luz  Cantando y bebiendo, puedes estar tu Bajo el cielo azul  Siempre estamos asi  Y largas son las noches aqui』 『Ist das der Zerstörer oder der Schöpfer?』**** 『one of these days, when i feel more bearable to listen to, i'll... try and do some full ass covers, if y'all would be down for that ♡』 Bonus: What would Erwin do? 『about... what? everything going down now? i dunno. all i can offer is a dream daddy reference. he's chilling in Margaritaville somewhere... 』 Say the following: Wall Maria, Jean Kirschstein, Reiner Braun, Ymir, Theo Magath, Onyankopon, Kiyomi Azumabito, Hajime Isayama, Shiganshina Trio, Shingeki no Kyojin, Shinzou wo Sasageyo

[onepumpofsyrup]

ON THREE, QUIETLY II Cha Hakyeon II Part 2

On Three, Quietly // Cha Hakyeon // Part 2

VIXX: N

Pairing : N x Reader

Genre : Fluff, Angst, Humor, Romance

Words :  1,600+

Summary : Trouble comes and goes for every idol. At times its best to combat it with a well minded publicist. VIXX though, hate their new publicists. She’s bossy, nosey, and seems to care more about her paycheck than them. Her only goal is to prove them wrong. Their goal is for Hakyeon to seduce her into leaving.

(A/N)This story is another huge ass thank you to all of my followers.

Part 2 

“Minhee...How much jail time will I get if I drop the VIXX boys off a cliff?” You asked while rubbing the aches behind your neck as you walked down the lengthy hall within Jellyfish Entertainment.

They’d made your first week together complete hell. Hyuk continuously acting a menace, stirring up drama between each boy. Hongbin refusing to work with you on anything, prefering to play what every video game sat in front of him. Taekwoon completely refusing to even engage you in any form of conversation. Jaehwan practiced his highest notes every chance he could get, probably in the hopes of giving you a headache. And their wonderful leader? Refused to do anything about it. Most of the time he would be bickering over one stupid thing after another with the others. 

She pursed her lips and ticked off her fingers for a few moments walking quietly beside you and Woon before finally saying, “Are you intentionally dropping them off a cliff? Or are you ‘accidentally’ dropping them?” 

“I’ll hide you from the cops.” Woon interjected.  

You scoffed, “What does it matter? Either way I’m done with the whole issue.”

“They can’t be that bad,” she stated. 

“Can’t be that bad?” you asked incredulously. “Can’t be that bad? I’ve been here a week. Yesterday during a meeting with them they all wore their stupid airpods. When I asked the maknae to take them out he said he didn’t speak broke bitch. He’s a person not a meme! Who do they think they are!? I had to send an email with everything I said during the meeting since they wouldn’t listen to me. Their previous manager has been no help. He just allows them to act like this and caters to their every need.”

“Sounds like you’re in crisis,” She snickered.  

 “Don’t worry! I’m on my way!” Woon cheered along with her

You glared towards them, “I am not in a crisis. But I am thankful that my lovely team begins today. You and Woon are going to help me get these kids into perfect idol behavior.” 

Reaching your destination you looked over at the two behind you. “This will be chaos. Woon, your job is to defuse the situation as quickly as possible. Minhee, you are to document so I know I’m not crazy and these kids really are out of their mind.”

They both looked at you with confusion as you slowly began opening the door.  

The chaos was gone. Silence was the only thing to greet you as each boy sat quietly looking down at their own phones.

Woon rolled his eyes, “Chaos huh?” 

Your teeth ground together. 

Just yesterday they were screaming and yelling at each other.

No one knew how to keep their hands to themselves.

And now they want to behave???

Is this their tactic?Make me think I’m losing my mind?

Make others think I’m losing my mind?

So I have to quit and move to Ireland and farm sheep for the rest of my life in silence!!!!

Your eyes closed as you took a slow deep breath. “Boys,” you greeted, plastering a smile on your face, “I want to introduce you to your new manager and the man who will be the head of your security.” 

Hakyeon’s gaze slowly moved up from his phone and over to you. “We’re not interested. We don’t need a change of manager and the security team we currently have is fine.” 

“Well,” Woon began, an evil glint in his eyes. “Your past security team has already been moved to another group. So either you take me. Or you just don’t have bodyguards. Which would you rather? Because either way I’m going to get paid. But I’d rather get paid for sitting at home and watching my Thai Lakorns” 

Zero reaction from the boys. 

“Okay, okay.” Woon shook his head up and down before pulling each boy into a standing position. “I’ll leave you all alone if you can prove you don’t need a bodyguard. Let’s play a little game I like called, ‘shove the pretty boys outside and see who gets eaten by fans first’.” He began poking and prodding the boys towards the door, making a train reaction of each getting pushed out of the room. “Lets go let’s go. My money is on you pretty boy, what’s your name? They call you Leo right? You’ll get eaten so fast. You look like you have zero survival skills.”

A slight tick formed in Taekwoon’s eye as he glared back at Woon. Displeased to be called out.  

The descent down the hall quickly turned to chaos as it dawned on each boy what was happening.

Limbs flailed everywhere as each boy fought to return back to the room. “I’m not going outside! Unless someone is planning to buy me dinner.” Jaehwan cried, actively fighting to get away from Woon dominating presence. 

“No one is buying you dinner until you can prove you don’t need me,” he answered. “If pretty little Leo doesn’t get eaten I’ll buy you whatever you want to eat. On your lovely publicists dime of course.” The last sentence was added quietly so only you could hear. He was rewarded with a snarl.  

Like hell I’m buying any of them dinner.

I’m not rewarding their behavior.

They want to act like children.

Fine.

I’ll treat them like children.

No fun outings until they can be nice.

“Hey, what they heck! You can’t just shove us around.” Wonshik whined pushing back towards the rooms.

Woon had the gall to look shocked, again blocking their escape back to the room. “Oh, I can’t? Because it seems like I am.”

“Enough!” Hakyeon boomed. “This is stupid. We know the building is surrounded by fans. We know what will happened. You don’t need to prove a point like this.” 

“If you know what’s going to happen, if you know you need a bodyguard, then maybe don’t be so freaking rude next time. Yeah?” Minhee stated, shaking her head at each boy. “You should be ashamed of yourselves. Being so rude to people that are happy to be helping you. What would your mothers say? Hmm? Miss (Y/L/N) left her position to help you improve your image and she says you’ve been nothing but difficult.” Each boy began to protest. “You can’t defend yourselves to me! I just watched all of you do it before you even knew my or your bodyguard’s name. You still don’t know and you haven’t even bothered to introduce yourselves. You should be ashamed!”

Wonshik, Taekwoon, and Hongbing all looked down, chastised. Hakyeon, Jaehwan, and Hyuk still held defiance in their forms.  

“I'm sorry.” Taekwoon said quietly. “This transition hasn’t been easy for any of us. I’m Taekwoon. I apologize for my earlier behavior.” 

Hakyeon’s eyes closed for a moment before he sighed. “It’s my responsibility to keep everyone in line. I’m sorry I haven’t made things easy. I’m Hakyeon, I’m the leader. And ashamed of our actions.” 

Yeah right.

You’ve done nothing but make things hard.

And now suddenly you want to behave because someone bigger than you challenged you? I

’m on to you cutie.

I’ll figure out your plan.

Clicking your tongue you moved to stand between the boys and Minhee and Woon. “VIXX, Minhee will be your new manager. Woon is now in charge of security. These two will take over as the people to oversee everything. I will typically be in my office doing your scheduling and planning. If I’m needed, you can find me there. Is this okay?”

A pout formed on Hongbin’s lips. “But we like seeing you every day.” 

Your face stayed stone. “You’ve seen me everyday for a week and this is the first time you’ve bothered to speak to me without creating an entire scene.”

Wonshik reached towards your hands, catching them in his own to swing childishly. “That’s because we love you,” he sing songed.   

You nearly missed Taekwoon’s wince as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“I’m going to leave you with Minhee and Woon, they are going to take you around to meet the rest of your team. This includes your new stylists and coordinators. I look forward to hearing what you think of them. If there is a problem,” You knew the next sentence would be a terrible thing to say, something that will easily be taken advantage of. “Do let me know.  For now, Hakyeon, please follow me. I have a few things I would like to go over with you in my office.”  

Each member looked towards Hakyeon for guidance before he gently nodded his head and moved towards you. Separating himself from the group as they walked in the opposite direction of your office.  

“Just flirt with her.” Jaehwan says.

“Woo her,” Taekwoon says.

“Wink at her.” Hongbin says. 

Yeah like it’s that easy to date someone!

Hakyeon’s teeth ground together as he followed you into your new office. 

It’s nice in here.

Spacious.

How the hell did she get such a nice office?

How much are they paying her to be a pain in my ass?

“Mr. Cha, can we call a truce?” You asked, a perfect smile making its way across your lips. “I’m not trying to tear apart your world. I apologize if that’s how it seems. So please, work with me to fix your image, and we can all go back to how things were. Once Mr. Hwang is happy with the progress of VIXX’s image I will be leaving your company and returning to work with Ji Chang Wook. Until then, can we make this a little less antagonistic?”

Hakyeon took a step towards you, and smirked when you took a step back. He continued this little game until your form was trapped back against your desk, him directly in front of you little air separating the two of you. 

“I’m sure we can come to some kind of agreement. Miss (Y/L/N). I would hate to make things so hard on you.” He whispered, reaching forward to brush a section of hair behind your ear.

What is this?

A bad 90’s teen romance?

Am I really doing this right now?Is she really dumb enough to fall for it?

Your back went rigid, body becoming hot and very interested in how close he was too you. You could feel the pink coming to your cheeks, unused to someone showing this close of attention to you. Your hands moved up  to push his chest away from your own. 

“I hope we can stay strictly professional.” You said, plastering another fake smile across your lips. “That’s all I wished to talk about with you. If you’ll excuse me. I have some scheduling to work out for you boys.” 

“I’ll talk with you soon. I know where your office is now, so maybe I’ll drop in every now and then.” He said with a wink before turning and leaving the room.

She’s easy.

This will be easy.

Just a little attention and she’ll be all mine.

[notalk-justthought]

all of them >:3c

ooooh boiiiii time for some gay-ish answers :luigidab:

how tall are you? -5′2

what is your body type? -uhhh idk 

what is your favorite part about your body? -my hands,,, perfect for handholding,,,, 

is your current hair color your natural hair color? -yeah

are you more outgoing or more shy? -shy i guess

are you more femme or butch? -neither

are you tol or smol? -smol

wine mom or vodka aunt? -hard cider cousin

weird habit? -i can’t think of one right now :I

favorite meme? -there are so many memes, i can’t choose lol

do you sing in the shower? -nah

ever used a bow and arrow? -once

are/were you a theatre kid? -kinda? i’ve taken theater classes, but i wasn’t a Theater Kid^TM

have you ever seen a broadway musical? -ye

do you think musicals are cheesy? -they can be

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? -yeah

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? -Bees?

last movie you watched? -Grave of the Fireflies 

behind the camera or in front of it? -behind

favorite tv show? -i don’t watch enough shows to say a fav

meaning behind your url -i don’t talk much but boy do i think

reason you joined tumblr -i thought “why not?” and here I am, still here 6 years later

who’s your closest tumblr friend? -probs @one-for-all-plus-ultra 

what’s something most people love that you hate? -something i’m sure, can’t think of it rn

have you ever taken narcotics? -nope

have you had sex? -no

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? -nothing really bad, just dumb on my part

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? -idk

describe your passion without mentioning it. -idk uhhh

describe your best friend. -successful, taller than me, gives great hugs, knows what she’s doing with her life

give us one thing about you that no one knows. -idk if i ever stole something or not cuz I was either really young, or it just happened in a dream, but I’ll never know

how do you feel right now? -im tired

what is your biggest fear? all my friends leaving me

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? -i cannot think of a song rn

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? -idk if that’s happened yet haha

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? -yea

something you fantasize about. -being in a healthy relationship :sadclown:

last time you cried and why -last week when I watched Grave of the Fireflies

what was the last thing that made you laugh? -some video on tumblr idk what it was

do you really, truly miss someone right now? -*yeah britney spears gif*

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? -myself

the last time you felt broken? -probably earlier this year

are you starting to realize anything? -there’s so much going on and idk what i’m gonna do with my life

are you more dominant or more submissive? -idk

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) -fuck dude idk my own dating standards

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? -older

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. -n/a

do you have any kinks? -let’s not talk about it

first thing you notice in a person? -their humor

how can someone win your heart? -if you can cook good food,,, gotdam

been rejected by a crush? -ye

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? -oH YEAH ;-;

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? -no, that’d be real awkward

is trust a big issue for you? -yeah 

did you hang out with the person you like recently? -no

is confidence cute? -i guess 

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? -good for them (if i liked someone)

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? -no, gotta have similar a sense of humor

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? -no, i don’t have a crush

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? -probably

do you want to get married -maybe, maybe not

worst thing you’ve ever done? -i don’t wanna say

three things that turn you on. -idk lol

who do you hate? -no one 

favorite term of endearment? -baby or love or my love 

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? -there are so many,,,, one was vanessa hudgens for celebs, Elizabeth Swan in pirate of the Caribbean 

intimidating girls or kind girls? -kind with some intimidation

what do you look for in a possible partner? -good humor, good communication skills, can be silly and serious

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? -androgynous

are you good at flirting? -haha nope

who was the first person you came out to? -daria

do you have any friends who are wlw? -yeah

is your crush wlw? -i dont have a crush

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? -idk

write a short love poem to your crush/self? -i haven’t

do you fall in love easily? -sometimes

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? -yeah

are you good at hiding your feelings? -kind of?

are you a forgiving person? -yeah

what is your “type?” -i dont even know anymore

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? -rub her back until she falls asleep in my arms

tall girls or short girls? -yeAH

hugs or kisses? -hugs

twirl her around or get twirled? -twirl her around

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? -thigh,,

hairline kisses or neck kisses? -neck

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? -play with her hair

making out or soft kisses? -soft,,, kis,,,

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? -i just like hugs okay

how confident are you in your sexuality? -sometimes

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? -yeah,,,

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? -yeah,, but i didn’t tell them 

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? -uhh fully, like 15

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? -something i’m sure lol

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? -yumikuri back in my snk days.... was canon, but not good enough :sadclown:

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? -no one’s told me anything bad to my face about my sexuality

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? -like early 2018

what is love to you? -i think it’s when you can be open with others and be there for them, and just be yourself around them. 

[nightcoremoon]

for the record I'm not actually upset over the comments people are making. I've been doing the internet fight thing for 15 years. but here's an anecdote.

a couple years ago when Discourse™ first got its start, I saw a post. it said "saying 'my dude' is antiblack racist because it's just a watered down way of saying 'my n*gga'" except he actually said the word because op was black. and I was like. what the fuck am I reading. I check the notes and he's all like "if you're white you're not allowed to disagree with me". I'm like wha. granted there were a bunch of people who had said "I'm black and you're an idiot" and it died out and lo and behold if I say my dude I don't get crucified by black people so it's clearly not racist.

then a meme surfaced. you start ranting and raving in a really long sentence or something that's usually directed towards people who do or say bigoted things and then ending it with a comma and a soccermom name, KAREN. it was used pretty much everywhere by everyone. but then one strangely peculiar thing happened.

people started sending anonymous suicide baits to people who used that meme, because "that meme was created by black people so it's culturally appropriating black culture to use that meme if you're white". including one trans kid who was like 14, living in an abusive and homophobic household. he used it in a vent post. and in the notes at least three people were harassing him about it. he deleted his blog. I worry he might have killed himself.

the people who were sending the messages were in their early to mid 20s. to a 14 year old kid. because he used a black created meme. to vent about his abusive household. I shouldn't have to explain how fucked up that is.

anyway I'd come to his defense and made a post about how it's ridiculous to cyberbully a child because he used a meme he didn't have the license to use. and tumblr flipped out. I had hundreds of messages from people calling me a nazi. yeah sure a disabled mentally ill queer trans leftist is totally a nazi. right. they said I was racist, they said I was homophobic to gay black people, they said that I was a liar who fabricated that story I told earlier about that kid because by the time people were asking for receipts the post was deleted. I got suicide baited, threatened, the whole shebang.

I didn't care. I was just irritated by the huge influx of messages. it was an inconvenience. after the life I lead, mean words on the internet from a spineless coward hiding behind the veil of anonymity are water off a duck's back. yes I might use fuckin profanity or italicized fonts or CAPITAL LETTERS for emphasis, but it's because I'm a wordsmith. language is an art form. a keyboard is my brush. I'm proud of my ability to harness the english language and twist and contort it to my own specifications. I can use it for great good, in helping people through tough times with inspiring words that incite courage, for great funny, in jokes that might take some thinking and context to really understand (especially puns), for great sexy (talking dirty basically but only with certain people and when the time is right), or for insulting people. anyone who knows me knows that I'm a good person and that the only people who ever know what it's like to receive a tongue lashing are the ones who fucking deserve it. not the people who see a single text post taken out of context as a basis to judge my entire character on. but I enjoy it. I enjoy using words as weapons on the battlefield of discourse. it's because I'm good at it. beyond the abilities of most opponents which is unfortunate because it just sails right over their heads most of the time but still, my fellow intelligent company is able to grasp the meanings and intentions of both sides. I excel at this. and the fact that I don't take things personally (I'll certainly pretend to when it'll gain me the advantage) is just icing on the cake.

there is just one problem though.

I'm autistic and possess hyperempathy.

"what does that have to do with this?"

see, here's the thing. if some random person makes an offhand comment intended as a joke but didn't really have the "correct" amount of blatant humor injected into it, and you are the type of person to then go to them and tell them they'd be better off dead, they're just a retard who should stop posting, nobody cares about them, whatever, you are NOT the type of person to think "hmm this person's only 14, maybe I should reconsider the choice to send them a death threat" or "oh hey this person has depression, perhaps I'll remove that suicide bait part and replace it with rainbow lollipops and unicorn stickers :3". you don't give a fuck about all that. you just wanna reap destruction and watch the world burn. you wouldn't give a fuck if that kid commits suicide because you don't have any compassion or empathy. if you would send the kind of shit you sent me to anyone, and I had the chance to meet you in person, I'd make you swallow your own teeth.

these anons don't care how old I am. they don't care what my mental state is. they don't care about any of that shit. they only care about inflicting pain, deserved or not, and all over dumb shitposts. over "lmao if you break up over mario kart you're kind of immature and should work on your relationship skills :P". over saying Karen at the end of your sentence. over greeting a friend with "my dude". over liking steven universe. it doesn't matter what the topic of the day is. any excuse will do to go for the proverbial jugular.

the existence of these people is what pisses me off more than the actual things that they say. how dare you exist. how dare you spread hate. how dare you not be a paragon of human decency. if someone says something racist or homophobic or antisemitic or misogynistic or body shaming or pro fascist or bootlicking or genocidal or anything contributing directly to harmful actions towards people based on their demographics rather than the choices that they make, fuck 'em. you lost my compassion for you. you're a piece of old chewing gum under a table. you're a little chunk of dookie that didn't get flushed. you're a moldy apricot pit at the bottom of an unlined trash can. you made a conscious choice to be a bad person. if you are a literal nazi, I'd remove your bones and then put them back in the wrong places without any anesthetic. if you are bigoted because society brainwashed you, I'd call you character into question and point out your hypocrisy. if you made a dumb joke on a shitpost I'd just scroll past because I'm not gonna waste my time on you. but if you would tell a kid to kill themself, you bet your ass I'll tear into you like hungry wolves into a deer carcass with zero remorse or sense of your own feewings. if you want me to care about the feelings of terrible people, you have another thing coming. if they would hurt people who don't deserve it, they're on the shit list.

and I refuse to be told that I'm a bad person because of that. severe, yes. ruthless, maybe. evil? that's pushing it a lot. a little unhinged? I've not been hinged since I was 3 years old. an asshole? I vehemently disagree considering the people i'm rude to are themselves assholes; this isn't some edgy friedrich nietsche quote taken out of context. merciless? okay I'll give you that. but a bad person? fuck that and fuck you.

you don't get to judge my character because I'm ~mean~ to dickheads.

in fact I'm somehow more pissed off at those people than the people sending the shitty messages in the first place. lashing out I can understand because that was me once upon a time. but passive neutrality under guise as absolute good? you're attacking the reaction. you're centrists attacking antifa. you're part of the problem. especially when you use sneaky tactics that take advantage of good nature, "heyyyyy buddy, let's talk about your anger issues, are you okaaaaaay, taaaaalk to me, you need to apologize to the people who want you dead because you were mean to them and that means you deserve it". literal cult tactics. evil. actual legitimate active performed evil. or just an ignorant misguided fool that thinks he's the dalai lama. but... pride is a deadly sin after all.

anyway tl;dr i don't give a shit about the actual things you say to me. the only thing that pisses me off is the fact that you'd say those things to another person completely unprovoked, no matter who that person is.