#hides my 7 page Achilles character study

[justvea18]

2023 me: goddamn iliad has 24 books?! How do you expect me to study that shit😭

2024 me: hahahaha........

[erascrhead]

November Ice Breaker Tag Game

loI was tagged by the lovely @bnhastanning! I’m sorry this took so long - I’ve been procrastinating all of my work and i had to take care of it before did this but now? watashi ga kita motherbuckets.

November Ice Breaker

1 - What was the last thing you were really excited about? 

Not gonna lie, things are a bit bleak at the moment, but I suppose I was very happy because I did really well on my last lesson test in my Japanese class and I raised my cumulative grade by a whole percentage! I am not very good at it but if I do decently for the rest of term I think I can make my way up to an A-, which would be really cool!

2 - What do you wish someone taught you long ago? 

Don’t be so singularly focused on your goals and responsibilities that everything else is removed from your life. Most of my middle and high school career, I was focused only on achieving what I needed academically and extracurricularly, and pushing myself beyond what I really could handle, that I ended up overworked and lonely. If it puts it into perspective, in my 10th grade year, I not only had multiple people ask me if I had taken a semester away because I had spent so much time hiding in the library, but I literally gave myself an ulcer from stress and taking on other people’s responsibilities because I had painted myself into a position where I was never allowed to refuse. While I did get to achieve beyond what I ever could have dreamed of (and I’m really proud of myself for that), theres a lot of my adolescence that I have a sort of phantom nostalgia for, and that’s something I really regret. 

Your life needs to have balance to it. Make sure you find that early on, and understand how to equally prioritize your own well being with what you want and what other’s want from you.

3 - What are some of your guilty pleasures? 

Not doing the reading for class lmao. As someone who never once skipped the reading until I graduated HS, skipping some of the reading in college, when I end up having around cumulative 500 pages per week is quite nice. I wish I had something less goody-two-shoes but I do nothing and also have zero (0) shame.

4 - What topic could you give a twenty minute presentation on without any preparation? 

There’s a couple of different things I could talk about in differing qualities ranging from classical ballet scores to a linguistic breakdown of a hamilton song, and of course I could go off about bnha for a long time, but I’m gonna go with a fun one.

My most fun answer is that I could talk about racism and race correction in Harry Potter for like three hours. Black Hermione is god tier fanon, and JKR’s attempts to race correct her make me really frustrated, not only with the problems with the action itself, but as well with the nonchalance she attempted to do it with. I have a bit of a ‘cheat’ on this one, because last year I wrote a ~5000 word academic research paper on the subject. I was already really passionate about it before that though (that’s why I wrote it in the first place); the only difference now is I can spit out narrative and numerical facts™ off the cuff, and my argument would be better organized.  

5 - What scene in a movie or tv show gives you goosebumps every time you watch it? 

I don’t really have an answer for this, which is kind of sad but also hilarious considering what my parent’s jobs are. If I had to pick something, I don’t really have a scene in particular, but the movie Amadeus (the extended directors cut edition) is one of my favorites that leaves me breathless in the best of ways. 

6 - What were some of your favorite holiday traditions growing up? 

One of my favorites is that every year since I was little, my mother and I would pick out either 1-3 new ornaments for our tree. I remember being little and walking into the Macy’s Christmas section and just being dazzled by the lights, and typically, we would pick out some white and gold porcelain birds. As I got older, are choices started coming from more small time shops, like a kiosk in hawaii or a small knick-knack shop near the place where we occasionally ski in the winter. For me, it’s really the act of going and picking out something beautiful with her that’s really nice.

A newer tradition is that every year I bake chocolate-chip bread pudding in a dutch oven. I am, unequivocally, the best baker in the family both immediate and extended, though not the best chef, and this became a hit around the time I was 15. It’s just really fun to make -- I like to belt out to Christmas songs while I bake. 

7 - What book had the most significant impact on you? 

HARD QUESTION. There’s a bunch of different ways I could answer this: the impact on the way I think, the first chapter book I read on my own that helped me discover my love of reading, my favorite example of intricate world building? I have a lot I could say. The direction I’m going to go for is the impact on my writing, and the one of the first books that really made me marvel at the beauty of words, just as they are. My two runners up are The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller and We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson, but my final answer is Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz.

Representation aspects aside (but also, yes!), this book was one of the first books that made me feel emotion for the words themselves. It’s more of a character study than it is plot driven, and as a kid who grew up loving action adventure fantasy novels, I think that’s one of the reasons it really stood out to me. I pulled an excerpt, just to give the gist:

I stared at the reproduced mural in the book -- but I was more interested in his finger as he tapped the book with approval. That finger had pulled a trigger in a war. That finger had touched my mother in tender ways I did not fully comprehend. I wanted to talk, to say something, to ask questions. But I couldn’t. All the words were stuck in my throat. So I just nodded.

One of my favorite things now is to play with words, to roll them around on my tongue and isolate their melodies, placing them in them in rhythm to a beat only I can hear, and I think that this was the first book that showed me how to do that.

8 - What weird thing do you have nostalgia for? 

So I went to a small school for all the way up until college; about 45 kids in my sixth grade class, 22ish in my homeroom/main class. There were four kids, including me, that had an aptitude for math, and understood the lessons without being taught them, and so what my teacher would do is give us the homework packet for the week and send us out to the outdoor benches next to our classroom to complete it during the period. We, being 11, would goof around Monday through Thursday and do the entire packet in the Friday period and then turn it in. Not the best teaching decision (i wish i had been taught the next year’s material tbh) but that’s not the point.

It was just a year, but those periods felt so untouchable and surreal and innocent. I remember, the school was so quiet, and it was just us, and we were just kids who were getting away with not learning math for a whole year, and it felt like the greatest victory in the world. 

9 - What's a problem you have, that might be entirely unique to you? 

I don’t know how unique it is, but the intensity with which I currently need to pet a dog is unparalleled.

10 - What are two of your favorite snacks? 

I literally eat an apple with peanut butter on a daily basis I cannot emphasize this enough i am, a slut, for peanut butter. 

There’s also this specific Costco Brand trail mix that I literally have eaten so much of that I got nauseous. We love Kirkland Signature™ up in this house.

That’s all! I’m tagging @kicheetah @teamstevesass @stark-tony @bakugox @rabbitproduce @pixie-witchery @joeytrlbiani @queenangst THOUGH NO PRESSURE and also anyone else who wants to! Have fun!!