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Slot Machine:
Phiang Waichai (เพียงไว้ใจ) | Free Fall
Kinn | Porsche
KPAnniversary Week8 - Music
#kinnporsche#kpappreciation#kpanniversary#kinn theerapanyakul#porsche kittisawat#hidden messages trailer#slot machine - free fall#slot machine - phiangwaichai#my edit#gotta apreciate the bangers by slot machine!#and kinn and porsche povs!
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MILE PHAKPHUM & APO NATTAWIN as Kinn and Porsche in KinnPorsche: The Hidden Messages (2021)
#kinnporschesource#kinnporsche: the series#kinnporscheedit#kinnporsche#kinn x porsche#the hidden messages#*#technically these are not actually in the hidden messages trailer#but they were filmed for it so that's just what i'm calling it#<3#took so long for me to make these somewhat hd...#suffering...
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Part 1 - Kinn and Porsche
New Hidden Message trailer clean/HQs via boss.fie @ IG
#kinnporsche#kpts#hidden message#apo nattawin#mile phakphum#it's insane if i can't tell if these are actually new photos or stills pulled from the trailer#i think we've seen all of these before but why not pull the HQs since they're being released
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Day 1&2: colors, kinnporsche (red/blue) | @mau-month
I made this a while ago and when I saw the prompt list for mau month I realized that it fit perfectly for day 1 and 2.
Therefor, I decided to finally post it :D
#mau_month#kinnporsche#kinn x porsche#kinnporsche fanart#kpts#kpts fanart#Hidden Messages Trailer my beloved <3#never forget#why does Kinn kinda look like the devil? lol#my art#beginner artist#procreate#first post#finally having the courage to post
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1/? Hidden Messages edits for personal fic purposes. Feel free to use with credit. 💖
#my stuff#my edits#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series#mile phakphum#apo nattawin#kinnporsche hidden messages#screenshot edit#kinnporsche screenshots#why does everything always lead me back to this mf video#hidden messages trailer my beloved
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guys I figured out the teaser trailer’s hidden message
Ian jr masterpost
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I saw some light discourse going around hsrtwt about Ratio being bad/good/morally ambiguous
I'm not gonna comment on that too much cause I wanna talk about smth else but clearly he's a good person, probably one of the nicest people we meet compared to the war criminals and murderers. his major crime is that he's blunt, mean and makes his students cry (which is something about him I don't particularly enjoy for personal reasons, but still)
what I like, something that i feel like people tend to forget, is that he's very openly kind and caring
of course there's the basic stuff, like the fact that he pours his whole heart into making the universe a better place, has eradicated a whole illness called 'the king of illnesses' (so, supposedly, very deadly) and the entire not getting into the genius society because he cares about humanity too much. but also, you know
first of all, he has canonically made various statues depicting himself making a heart with his hands while smiling warmly. I've always found it endearing how he mildly prides himself on 'keeping the world at bay' and just being generally mean while also doing this so casually. I mean, it's a clear message: 'I love you' that's what he's saying, and he's saying it in a silly way
something a bit more hidden is these quotes from hoyolab's post. we all know the 'ignorance is an ailment' quote is directly taken from his character stories, making it canon. that subsequently makes the other two just as canon. obviously it's an official post, but I sometimes see people doubting the validity of these silly little snippets into the hsr universe
I don't particularly know if he is saying those last two quotes in general or to someone/a group of people in particular, but it's like... one of the sweetest (and corniest) things ever, and it makes me giggle a little bit. it almost felt out of character to me the first time I've seen these, but if you think about it, it's always been there
this one is from the valentines day ""event"" on twitter from earlier this year. I like his reaction to the gift for he still has some of his usual, you know, 'I cannot bear to hear such foolish questions'. he's being nice in his own way here, his demeanor is just barely reserved but the sentiment behind his words remains a positive one
another quick thing, though I don't have more examples for this one. he's always going on about how you should always consider whether the question you're about to ask already has an answer (so encouraging you to think for yourself) but he's still Always offering to help. in this and, if I remember correctly, in the mail description you get when you used to receive him for free he's making it clear that he's willing to help you discuss things for you to understand them better and will answer any question as long as it's not a 'stupid' one. he is a teacher, after all. the biggest thing about him is that he wants people to do better. other than this, despite his slight reluctance to help others himself, he does say in his character trailer that sometimes a little encouragement is required
and he does encourage people openly when they do good! no 'I suppose this is acceptable' nor 'I guess you did good'. when someone or something impresses him, he genuinely expresses it. I like to point this out because I see so many people say he's self absorbed or puts himself above others, when that is simply not true. which, I mean, can also be seen in his small little interactions with Herta, Ruan Mei and Screwllum (he literally praises them)
then he also says this a couple times. I don't exactly know what he considers courtesy or discourtesy, but it's clear that at least not all his blunt or mean words are meant to offend. this is something I'd love to look further into, but for now simply want to put here with the rest cause it's an interesting thing about him. he is already described as elegant, which implies a certain level of basic courtesy and politeness when interacting with others, though this just slightly crashes with his 'rude' demeanor
supposedly, you could make the argument that while he canonically realizes how non-endearing he can be (knows his own shortcomings, one of the exact traits he praises) perhaps he actively struggles with coming off as nice. and seeing all I've pointed out so far, maybe all those instances of him being nice are how he'd prefer to come off as (some times). that is unless I missed some bits of canon dialogue where it's implied otherwise
this isn't that detailed or well made of a post, nor the first time someone has pointed out this stuff. in fact I reblogged an incredibly good, lengthy post some time ago that talks more in depth about how nice/kind of a person Veritas Ratio really is
I simply cannot stand when he is described as cold, uncaring, selfish, self-centered or someone incapable of being gentle and loving. and it's not nearly as subtle as people seem to think it is
#i just love him so much#and wanted to yap about him for a while#honkai star rail#hsr#star rail#hsr dr ratio#dr ratio#veritas ratio#can you tell I'm mentally ill?
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Eddie Munson x cheerleader! reader, what if they're in a secret relationship, they've been together quite some time now, and they haven't told anyone bc of the rude ppl, but what if Gareth had to go to Eddie's to help him with a homework or something and when he walks in (maybe he knew where Eddie left his key or something) he goes to Eddie's bedroom and he sees Reader on top of Eddie kissing him, and he's like WTH and they get scared bc of that, but Gareth tells them that he's not gonna tell anyone about it. But, he always teases Eddie about his relationship with Reader.
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Secrets out
Eddie lived in a dream he hoped he wouldn't wake up from. He somehow snagged the girl of his dreams and he hoped he wouldn't mess it up. He took every precaution, including keeping it a secret from his friends.
Eddie knew once the school found out, their paradise together would crash and burn. They were good at keeping their distance at school, no one expected a thing.
Which is why Gareth refused to believe what he saw.
Gareth arrived at Eddie's to help him study for a test. Being Eddie's best friend, Gareth knew where the spare key was hidden. As he always did, Gareth welcomed himself into the trailer. The trailer was quiet, but music came from Eddie's room. Gareth took that as a sign of where Eddie would be. He dropped his backpack on the couch and walked to Eddie's room.
"Yo, I'm H-" Gareth stopped, taking in the scene before him.
"OH MY GOD!" Y/N screamed as she jumped off Eddie's body. She grabbed her shirt from the floor and hid behind the bed as she threw it on. She clenched her eyes and tried to disappear.
Eddie sat up and threw back on his shirt, his eyes panicked.
"Dude!" Eddie scolded, getting off the bed as he pushed Gareth back out the door. Eddie closed the door behind them, allowing Y/N to move from her hiding spot.
"Dude me? Dude you! You were tongue-deep in Y/F/N, the hottest cheerleader in school." Gareth exclaimed as he pointed at the door. Gareth could not believe this was reality. Eddie was his best friend and he had no clue he was sneaking around with Y/N. In a way he was hurt, but very jealous.
"I know! But listen, you can't tell anyone." Eddie said, his tone serious, placing his hand on Gareth's shoulder.
"I won't, I swear. But on one condition." Gareth said, crossing his arms.
Eddie got nervous but nodded.
"I need every detail," Gareth smirked as Eddie blushed.
~~~
It took a few hours to calm Y/N down about Gareth knowing. But in a way, it was a little relieving that someone finally knew.
Eddie loved that Gareth knew because now he had someone to talk to about his relationship. He finally got to talk about his girlfriend.
But Gareth also was a pain in Eddie's ass.
~
"Hellfire will start an hour later, so be on time!" Eddie declared as he got up from the lunch table.
"Wait why?" Mike asked as he grabbed his tray.
"I got to do something." Eddie shrugged, Gareth caught the subtle look towards Y/N and smirked.
"Gee, Eddie. I hope whatever it is, it doesn't take too long." Gareth teased, Eddie caught his message and glared.
~
"Thought you guys were a secret," Gareth mumbled. The loud hallway covered his words.
"We are," Eddie stated confused.
"Then why do you keep staring, lover boy." Gareth laughed at the joke but was answered with a punch in the shoulder from Eddie.
~
Gareth walked into the trailer for another night of studying, but this time more aware of closed doors.
He heard the music and walked over to Eddie's room. He knocked a few times and announced his arrival.
"It's safe Gareth." Eddie laughed, Gareth opened the door and looked in. Eddie was working on homework as Y/N flipped through a magazine.
"You boys have fun," Y/N said, standing up from the bed. She gave Eddie a kiss goodbye and then walked out.
"You are so gone for her," Gareth laughed as he sat next to Eddie.
"I know," Eddie said with a dreamy smile on his face.
Tags!
@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson request#eddie munson fluff x reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x cheerleader#eddie munson x cheerleader!reader#ashwhowrites
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Stolen Moments - Luke Thompson
Summary: Love is a beautiful thing, yet it can be painful when one must hide it.
Word count: 1410
It had all started in the dim, enchanted light of a theater, where youfirst saw Luke on stage.
You weren’t expecting your life to be turned upside down that evening, certainly not by a pair of intense, thoughtful eyes and an understated smile that had a magnetic pull, even from your seat in the audience.
Luke was mesmerizing, his performance was raw and real. He’d commanded the stage, every movement filled with grace and purpose.
You found yourself captivated by him, and, as the final curtain fell, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something significant had just begun.
By pure serendipity, you'd been introduced to him after the show through a friend.
The spark between you was undeniable. A connection that seemed impossible to ignore blossomed over a quick chat that felt much too short, an electric exchange of glances and smiles.
By the end of the night, you were already slipping your number into his hand, a quiet thrill passing between you both.
What started as secret messages and midnight phone calls soon turned into stolen weekends and hidden coffee dates.
You both understood the need for secrecy. Luke was filming the much-anticipated fourth season of Bridgerton, and anything about his personal life could easily become tabloid fodder.
You both cherished what you had too much to risk it with unnecessary exposure.
He was a rising star with millions of eyes on him, and you knew the importance of keeping your relationship in the shadows—for now.
But neither of you had expected it would become this hard.
Being near each other, feeling the warmth of your bond but keeping it under wraps—sometimes it was a thrilling game, other times an agonizing test of patience.
You shared the smallest, most discreet of touches in public, a graze of fingers under the table, the brief press of your hand on his back as you slipped by him in a crowd.
It was a quiet intimacy, a private romance that pulsed just beneath the surface, just beyond anyone else’s sight.
Your lives continued like this, parallel but private, until one day on set, the tension reached its breaking point.
You had visited Luke once before, slipping onto the lot where Bridgerton was filmed and sneaking into his trailer for a few stolen minutes.
Today, however, your visit was unexpected, a risky move, but you hadn’t seen each other in weeks, and you knew he’d be thrilled by the surprise.
There was a thrill in sneaking around, knowing that, for now, you belonged only to each other.
As you made your way to his trailer, you felt your heartbeat quicken. The afternoon air was warm, and you kept a low profile, slipping in through the back, hoping none of the crew would notice.
Your hands shook a little as you reached for the handle of the trailer door, your pulse thudding with excitement.
You didn’t know how he would react, only that you wanted to be close to him.
Needed to feel his touch.
The door opened quietly, and you stepped inside, closing it softly behind you.
The trailer was dim, lit only by the small window on the side, casting a warm glow over the modest space.
Luke was sitting on the small couch, script in hand, eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated.
When he heard you enter, he looked up, and the surprise on his face melted instantly into a smile.
A beautiful, slightly mischievous smile that made your heart flutter.
“Y/n,” he breathed, standing up. “What are you doing here?”
You took a step forward, grinning. “Surprise visit.”
He laughed, closing the space between you both and pulling you into his arms.
You felt the strength in his embrace, his fingers gentle as they ran through your hair, cradling your head as he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours.
The kiss was slow and soft, but you could feel the restrained heat beneath it.
You'd keep yourself hidden, held back so much, that every kiss felt new, every touch electric.
“Do you know how hard it’s been not seeing you?” he whispered, his voice low, his hands trailing down your arms, holding you close.
“I might have an idea,” you murmured, pressing your lips against his neck, feeling him tense slightly.
You could feel his heartbeat under your hand, a reminder of the urgency you both felt, the desire that had been simmering between you since that very first night.
You lifted your gaze to meet his, your eyes locked, and you felt your breath hitch at the way he was looking at you.
His eyes held a mixture of tenderness and passion, a rawness that you knew was reserved for you alone.
You both knew there was no time for subtlety today.
Without breaking eye contact, Luke reached down, pulling you gently to the couch.
You settled there, your fingers tracing gentle patterns along his jaw as you kissed him again, your touches slow and deliberate.
The outside world faded, replaced by your shared warmth, the feel of his skin under your hands, and the way he murmured your name with such reverence it made your heart ache.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, voice thick with emotion as he brushed a strand of hair from your face.
His fingers traced your cheek, his gaze softening, and you felt an ache in your chest at the gentleness of his touch, as though he was afraid you might disappear.
“You know we’re both going to get in trouble if we get caught,” you teased softly, even as your hand slipped down to his, intertwining your fingers, feeling the heat radiate between you.
He smirked, eyes glinting with a playful defiance. “For you? Worth every risk.” His words sent a thrill through you, an unspoken promise that this was something he was willing to fight for.
Your quiet laughter faded into another kiss, one that deepened quickly, your hands exploring, memorizing.
The air between you thickened, charged with the promise of something sacred.
You could feel his heartbeat against you, steady and strong, grounding you in this moment, in the small sanctuary of the trailer.
As you moved, your bodies attuned to each other, you felt the intensity of your shared passion.
You'd been patient, respecting the boundaries you had set, but here, now, there was no one else.
Just the two of you, wrapped in each other, lost in a world that felt like it was made just for you.
Your movements were unhurried, every touch meaningful as if you were savoring each other, wordlessly committing each sensation to memory.
You explored one another with a softness that belied the urgency you both felt, lingering on every touch, every whispered word.
And when you finally came together, it was with a quiet intensity, a communion that felt like a promise, a declaration of something more than words could express.
When you lay entwined afterward, the world outside seemed a distant concern.
You rested your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, feeling his arm wrap around you, holding you close.
There was something beautiful about these stolen moments, something that made your love feel even more precious.
You knew you couldn’t stay like this forever, that soon he’d have to go back to set, and you'd have to sneak out as quietly as you had come in.
But for now, time seemed to stand still, and you allowed yourself to bask in the warmth of your secret love.
“I don’t know how long I can keep this a secret,” he murmured, his voice soft against your hair.
You looked up at him, your hand resting against his cheek. “Soon, very soon… we won’t have to. But for now, let’s keep this ours.”
He nodded, a faint smile touching his lips. “As long as I get to have you here, like this, I’ll wait as long as you need.”
You lay together in silence for a little while longer, each of you savoring the warmth of each other, the knowledge that, for now, this was your private world.
And when it was finally time for you to leave, you did so with a lingering kiss, one last, soft touch of his hand on your cheek before you slipped out of the trailer and back into the world.
Luke watched you go, a soft smile on his face, already counting the moments until he could hold you again.
#benedict bridgerton x reader#benedict bridgerton#bridgerton#bridgerton fanfiction#benedict bridgerton fanfiction#benedict x reader#benedict x you#benedict x y/n#benedict bridgerton x you#benedict bridgerton x y/n#bridgerton fandom#eloise bridgerton#luke thompson#luke thompson x reader#collin bridgerton#colin bridgerton#violet bridgerton#benedict bridgerton imagine#benedict bridgerton fluff#benedict bridgerton fanfic#bridgerton fluff#bridgerton imagine#bridgerton oneshot#benedict bridgerton oneshot#benedict bridgerton fic#bridgerton fic#bridgerton x reader#bridgerton x you#bridgerton reader insert#bridgerton brothers
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My Fav (Fic) Things
Thank you to @jolapeno for putting this toot together and asking us to toot ourselves properly. Also, thank you to @schnarfer who I copied and pasted the list from because it's perfect. I'm also keeping the u's in because viva Britain! --- 🌟 Favourite P boy to write: Joel Miller, obviously. (With Dieter Bravo a very close second.) I think specifically non-outbreak Joel just does something to me. Thinking of him living a happy and normal life with Sarah. Also, baseball Joel, because I'm definitely working through the end of my favorite baseball player's career.
🌟 Favourite smut: I really love the smut in Tenacity. Something about Joel Miller breaking furniture. @ohheypedrito and I talked about a gif and then I made the gif into just very hot smut, if I do say so myself. Close second is Suburban Sparks. Please muffle me with that green shirt Javi. (Legit, like please tell me what smut you like from me if you're reading this. You can message me privately or post publicly... I am very interested to know what my readers like.)
🌟 Favourite series: Foxglove Downs is the most world building and planning I've ever put into a fic and I feel like it's paying off as the story goes. Some lovely friends have complimented me on the world I've created, and it means a lot. Close second is Golden Girl because it means @devineconjuring and I just scream at each other.
🌟 Favourite writing to resolve emotional trauma: TW: Pet death. Back in early June, my beloved dog of almost fifteen years tragically passed away. He got sick in mid May and then only two weeks later, after trying to save him we had to say goodbye. It was shocking and just shattered my heart into a million pieces. Then, the Gladiator II trailer was released and... for the first time in over a month I felt the need to write a story--and smut. So, I did what any sane person would do, I wrote a threesome fic with two characters I had very little idea about. That's how Legionary happened. After that, I was able to move on and continue writing. So, thanks Roman dicks.
🌟 Favourite fic that came from an ask: Technically, this has only happened once... and it JUST happened. Joel teaching Ellie how to play guitar. Please take this as an invite to journey over to my inbox so I can write/make you something.
🌟 Most surprising fic: Fifteen Minutes started as a thought in my head while talking to @ohheypedrito during the day of May 4th, and by bedtime I had a fully written fic that now has turned into a whole story.
🌟 Favourite challenge: @punkshort's AU challenge brought me Golden Girl which is now a full series because I fell in love with the characters. (Also, my least favorite thing about challenges is how I was assigned two right before my dog grief journey and I never got around to finishing them and I still feel guilty about not finishing them!)
🌟 Favourite line: I come back a lot to the final lines from Domestica. "In the early morning he wakes up sweaty and panicked, panting for air terrified from his nightmare. You turn over, and grab the hand on his chest, soothing him back to sleep with your sweet voice and soft body against his reassuring him he hasn’t lost anything."
🌟 Favourite hidden treasure: Sweet Sweet Girl. I can't believe I wrote Max Lord and people found it hot.
#jo: tootathon#jo: tootathon rules#favorite fics#joel miller#din djarin#javier peña#dieter bravo#maxwell lord#marcus acacius#lucius verus#pedro pascal
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Some fun screenshots from Homura Akemi's Magia Record game transformations, with commentary:
This shot (left) is not in the series or recap movie (right). Holy shit, they really took this scene and made it even more emotionally devastating.
Homura's silhouette, upside down and dancing. I sense a theme here, lol, one we're probably going to see a lot more of in Walpurgis no Kaiten. Also she's surrounded by a circle of twelve points, presumably representing a clock.
Circles/shields overlapping with beautiful moire patterns like raindrops in a pond.
Moemura (braids) falling backwards, another motif we've already seen from the WnK trailer. There's also a time stop because of course there is.
A seedling on a table shrinks down as time reverses and a shattered container comes together. Runes say "PUELLA MAGI AKEMI HOMURA".
Homura's shield explodes as she falls, an interesting look at its component pieces.
Madoka runs away from her into danger, featuring the same salamanders border from the beginning of the Eternal movie, also with a frame, lace curtains and cogs, all of which are recurring motifs for her. (Also presumably to show this is a memory??)
As she continues falling, her countdown signs from the Eternal movie play, followed by static with hidden messages from the original series that were in this movie and the first WnK trailer.
Homura turns to glass, which shatters into shards; these are the "sparkles" that surround her at the end, oof (the symbolism, tho!)
The Magia Record game is not necessarily "canon" for the main series, but I think it's interesting to examine, partially to see how it builds on the existing visual motifs and also for the hints of what might be coming next.... Also I just love magical girl transformations in general.
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OBSCURA trailer analysis & theories
The OBSCURA trailer is very pretty (watch it if you haven’t already <3) and is also full of interesting symbolism and snippets of Latin. In this post I’m going to be manually translating and providing notes on the Latin, as well as discussing what the numbers mean and giving my own plot speculations. SPOILERS for OBSCURA’s Chapter 1 with every love interest.
I’m going to be working with the theory that the numbers correspond to the Major Arcana in a Rider–Waite–Smith tarot deck. I’ll be pulling tarot card information from A.E. Waite’s 1910 book ‘The Pictorial Key to the Tarot’, where he discusses the symbolism of the images in the cards and provides divinatory meanings.
Shoutout to @/starlitmanta and @/mostlygayrage for posting their own analyses before me! I got inspired by both of them to both write down my thoughts and then actually finish the post after leaving it for months lol. @/mostlygayrage has some interesting stuff on the imagery and also delved into the Latin! Although he took it as one sentence which I won’t be doing – I’m going to take the double forward slashes as an indication of a break.
Disclaimer that I haven’t formally studied Latin in years so if there are any errors feel free to point it out in the notes!
Cirrus
18. Presbyter // Ecclesiae lunaris XVII: The Moon. Priest // Lunar churches
18. Obsequium // ducit ad caelum Obedience // he leads to heaven TL notes N/A Tarot meaning To quote Waite, “The moon is increasing on what is called the side of mercy… the path between the towers is the issue into the unknown. The dog and wolf are the fears of the natural mind in the presence of that place of exit, when there is only reflected light to guide it…the message is: Peace, be still; and it may be that there shall come a calm upon the animal nature...”
Upright: Hidden enemies, danger, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error. Reversed: Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error. Speculation I think we can all agree that Cirrus is not trustworthy, hence danger, deception, occult forces etc. Nevertheless, Vesper (if you’ve got a good ending, at least) puts great degrees of trust in him. ‘A calm upon the animal nature’ calls to mind his odd ability to influence Vesper’s choices and force them into saying ‘yes’, but I also thought it might reference something about Vesper putting aside their instinctive reservations about Cirrus’ suspicious character to follow him into an unknown future.
Leading to heaven is, to me, a bit double-edged; it could mean death or paradise. Very fitting, I think.
Keir
20. Keir // Cavillatur fur XX: Judgement. Keir // Mocking thief
20. Fatum // vestrum vel extraneus [Destiny / (calamitous) death] // yours or a stranger TL notes I’m inclined to believe that Keir’s name being his plain name rather than an epithet is probably just part of his blunt kind of character, and ‘mocking thief’ is probably related to his personality too. Also, there is another piece of Latin on that first screen – ‘cultellus’, which means ‘dagger’ and points downwards towards where his dagger is held. Also, ‘fatum’ is a very interesting word in that it carries an intriguing potential double meaning. Tarot meaning Upright: Change of position, renewal, outcome. Reversed: Weakness, pusillanimity, simplicity; also deliberation, decision, sentence. Speculation Waite’s initial discussion of Judgement is very Biblical which I doubt has much to do with OBSCURA’s use of it. I do think the divinatory meanings are very interesting – I think that at a good/best end of Keir’s route, he’ll be able to come out on top and secure a good and/or stable future for himself and/or Mouse Hole.
My current theory is that, since we have had mentions of Keir and Oleander in each others’ routes, that they have direct effects on each others’ fates. This fits with ‘yours or a stranger’ of course, but also the double-edged ‘destiny or (calamitous) death’ – I’ll speculate more in Oleander’s route, but I think he and potentially most of Mouse Hole will not fare well if Vesper picks Oleander.
I’m interested in why his dagger was explicitly pointed out and labelled. I’m kind of shooting in the dark here but I think it’ll be significant in the future – either as a symbol of his history (specifically with Oleander, perhaps?) or as a plot device of some sort.
Oleander
11. Nerii // Periculosum scurra XI: Justice. Of oleander // Dangerous clown
11. Patiuntur // sicut habes They are suffering // just like you are TL notes More technically, ‘nerii’ is the genitive of ‘nerium’, which means oleander. This makes sense to me when I think about how he’s had a history of changing names – he’s moreso embodying the qualities of oleander (a pretty but dangerous plant) rather than taking it as a definitive name.
‘Patiuntur’ is in the plural, and suffering might be a strong word depending on how you look at it – the original word is like enduring through something difficult or unpleasant. Tarot meaning Waite basically says that the card has ‘obvious meanings’ so I don’t think I need to look too closely into it.
Upright: Equity, rightness, probity, executive; triumph of the deserving side in law. Reversed: Law in all its departments, legal complications, bigotry, bias, excessive severity Speculation The second half of the second piece of Latin, ‘sicut habes’, is in the second-person and I’m assuming that this is meant to address Vesper/MC. Maybe Oleander is also looking for something that he can’t find or afford, although the plural throws me off a bit if that’s the case. Maybe it’s referencing Oleander’s previous Vigils (since Vesper is currently holding that position, ‘just like’ they have) or something…?
Now, here is my plot theory which may or may not be insane. We know that Oleander has committed murder, and was very blasé about it; presumably he’s done this sort of thing before. We know that in his route, Keir has been alluded to, Griff has shown up and Keir is presumably going to show up at some point. I think that Oleander’s involvement with Keir is going to end very poorly for Keir, even leading to the calamity insinuated in Judgement. Specifically, I think that Oleander and Keir are going to be caught up in a serious crime and Keir is going to take the fall, leading to a permanent end for him (death, probably) and the following collapse of Mouse Hole. Oleander will get off lightly or scot-free (Justice’s ‘triumph of the deserving side in law’, ‘deserving’ as opposed to Keir who is indisputably a criminal and receives ‘excessive severity’).
This could be from Keir and his group failing the burglary since Vesper isn’t there to cover for the injured lookout, or it could be something else that brings in the dagger which was pointed out in Keir's portion of the trailer. I’m thinking murder, honestly.
Francesco
10. Franciscum // innocentes nobiles X: Wheel of Fortune. Francisco // innocent nobles
10. Tempus // decurrit Time // runs out TL notes Grammatically, ‘Franciscum’ is in the accusative (the case used to mark the ‘object’ on which a verb acts). This could be a stylistic thing or it could allude to how he’s being ‘acted upon’ by whatever power/influence his family have.
‘Decurrit’ is literally ‘runs down’ which fits with the hourglass imagery, but I imagine that the spirit of the phrase is ‘runs out’ especially since his route already alludes to that. Tarot meaning To quote Waite, “the symbolic picture stands for the perpetual motion of a fluidic universe and for the flux of human life … the essential idea of stability amidst movement. Behind the general notion expressed in the symbol there lies the denial of chance and the fatality which is implied therein.”
Upright: destiny, fortune, elevation, luck, felicity. Reversed: increase, abundance, superfluity. Speculation I think that at some point within Francesco’s route, his family is going to be further involved. I assume that these are the ‘innocent nobles’, which makes me think that whatever state or situation that they find Francesco in won’t be very innocent at all. Alternatively, it could be that his family is more innocent/harmless than they present themselves as – depending on circumstance, this could be a big win for Vesper or a big loss because they don’t have the family backing that they thought they did.
The Wheel of Fortune carries connotations of luck and change in fortune. I assume that Vesper provides Francesco with some degree of ‘stability amidst movement’ and that any ‘denial of chance’ involves Francesco leaving the marketplace and returning to the very clearly mapped out future that his family has for him, thus leading to a bad end. ——————————
Thanks for reading to the end!
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Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning [My Movie Review]
♡ ! SPOILER ALERT! ♡
This review will contain spoilers of the movie, continue reading if you already saw the movie, or just don’t mind the spoiler! Enjoy & comment something if you want to share an opinion! ♡
After what seemed ages of waiting, Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning finally aired in Portugal, on May 16, 2024, several months after it’s national premiere in Japan, on October 27, 2023. I was worried that it wouldn't come to my country, but perhaps due to the huge acceptance of Digimon Adventure: LAST EVOLUTION KIZUNA, the distributor made the hearts of the DigiDestined from the most hidden corner of Europe warm again and brought us the sequel. Thank you remembering us once again! ♡
I really tried to keep my expectations as neutral as possible until the day I went to see the movie, which was pretty difficult, due to the fact that I was constantly being bombarded with online information about it, whether on Tumblr or Twitter, or through video recommendations on Youtube. I was so excited for the movie, that I had to control myself immensely not to go see the spoilers.
Initial considerations? I like it. In general. But let's go in parts!
This will be an analysis of what I consider to be the most important points of the movie and what caught my attention the most. A personal analysis, so don't take it too seriously if I don't talk about a certain point or a certain specific topic, I probably just missed that.
Firstly, I would like to comment on the initial dynamics of the movie.
Everything seems to happen much faster here than it did in Kizuna. Despite being two movies with practically the same time span, this one seemed to go by much faster. But it might just be me. [LAST EVOLUTION KIZUNA have 94 minutes, and The Beginning have 87 minutes total].
We're introduced to the key plot problem pretty quickly too.
People's digital devices are glitching, and the same message is repeating itself on all of them, not just on the phones and televisions, but on computers and large digital screens in cities all around the world. And this all around the world is very important, because it not only brings us closer to what will be the future of humanity and it’s increasing contact with the Digimon and the Digital World, but it opens the path we take since 2012 [time of the movie] until to the epilogue of 02 (which the production team and Toei animation seem to insist on wanting to keep canon, despite all the script inconsistencies it can cause, or how different from the initial profile of each character it may be).
“May everyone have friends, may everyone have a partner Digimon”
It's the message. Meanwhile, we are told that a suspicious and unknown Digitama appeared in the sky of Tokyo, right above the Tokyo Tower, and it’s been there for a while. Taichi and Koushiro are showned to be trying to help resolve this issue as professionals in the field of diplomacy and technology respectively, but without major progress.
I think it's important to highlight that they are the only two characters from the first season of Adventure who appear in this movie, and even so, without any direct speech or great relevance, beyond contextualization, and later Taichi as well again for the context of “space- time”, in that frame we see in the trailer of the movie with Hikari, which we later discover is located in Hikarigaoka, where Rui also lived when he had his first contact with Ukkomon.
The focus is on the characters from 02, or at least, it should have been. But as in Digimon Adventure Tri, this focus is overshadowed by the introduction of another new character in the story: Rui Owhada [or Lui, in Japanese pronunciation].
Rui [or Lui] is a much more charismatic character than Meiko was in Digimon Adventure Tri. There is no doubt about that.
Meiko was a somewhat empty character. A static character without great charisma. The only pleasant scenes she had were driven by the other characters around her (namely Mimi).
Rui doesn't. Rui is a character on his own. With a much more aggressive personality and a much more interesting past. The only issue here is the length of the movie: This movie is too short; too short for us to get attached to this character and actually be able feel empathy for everything we are shown about him. So short, that it's difficult to develop both this new character and the others around him, which, by the way, is a shame.
I mostly went to see the movie in hopes to see more from the 02 cast, and not because, again, of a random character they created for this new script. Just like what happened in Tri.
And this is important because notice that one of the most complex and best-built characters in the Adventure universe is literally the character with the most screen time: Takeru.
Analyzing Takeru's character as a whole is extremely time-consuming, because he was in every season, and practically involved in all the main events of the plot, either by himself or through the relationships he establishes throughout the plot, which feed the character's emotional charge. Which makes him a very complex character.
There's no time for that here. There is no time to establish a relationship between Rui and the other characters, nor to establish a relationship between Rui… and the audience.
Rui's childhood is very shocking and once again, Digimon brings a very strong narrative based on a complex and deep family plot.
We had already had examples in Adventure of family issues with Takeru and Yamato, Koushiro, and in 02 with Iori and also Ken. To a certain extent, even with Miyako. But here we reach a higher level of complexity... and violence (remember that the age to see the movie is over 12 years old. I can totally understand why).
Rui is physically abused and neglected by his mother, who leaves him out in the cold, starving when he makes a childish mistake or does something she doesn't like... when he is only four years old. His father has a very serious illness and depends on his wife to survive. Rui is then shown as a sorrowful child, lonely and without any support network. We've never had anything in the Digimon Adventure series so… raw. The aura of the movie is deeply heavy and dark.
The evolutions and battles in this movie are far from being the focus, which probably frustrated many people who went to see the movie for this more dynamic side of the anime.
It is a film with a moral content and even touches on the philosophical, about the bonds we create with others and their nature, about how we should relate to others and learn about them every day we have them in our lives.
It's about healthy communication, and how it's okay to correct the people around us, as long as it's made based with pure intentions. Because love is not omissive. Love corrects, love draws the other's attention for what really matters, in the form of love. In the form of companionship. Nothing physical or superficial is worth the price of a real bond.
The movie really grew with it’s audience. It is not, at all, a movie targeted for new fans of the franchise, or for those who know little about the Adventure series universe. It's for those who know the characters, for those who grew up with them. If you don't know the characters, you will miss details and conversations that are important to really understand the plot as a whole.
Daisuke and Ken look on Rui’s past with him. They see the arrival of Ukkomon in his life, who should’ve bring peace and comfort, but it is only the beginning of all his problems.
Let's take a break from the movie's plot to talk about the characters of 02.
I'm going to divide them into groups, because it seems like they individually… don't have much progress or very memorable scenes, honestly. It doesn't even make sense to separate them, in my opinion, and you'll understand why.
♡ Daisuke & Iori
There is not much to talk about them here. Daisuke and Iori are the flattest characters in the movie. Iori much more than Daisuke, let's be honest. Iori barely speaks, and has very few relevant scenes.
Daisuke works at a ramen restaurant, as he always wanted, where he gathers his friends to talk about the problems they are facing right at the beginning of the movie.
His personality is practically the same, Daisuke from 02 is the same Daisuke from The Beginning, and even the same character as in Kizuna, he is just taller here and wears different clothes. He still aspires to have his own ramen business and is extremely focused on his career goals. Which was predictable, given the way he talks about his dream in 02.
Daisuke's only two relevant scenes are seconds long: the first when he convinces Rui that the bond of friendship he and his Digimon partner share is much more than something superficial; it's something that comes from the heart, and that no object makes a difference between them, namely the Digivice, (something we also expected to hear from Daisuke in 02, which justifies my opinion that in the meantime... he remains the same).
The other is a scene that had enormous potential, but is cut short by a comical moment in which Miyako pops up.
Daisuke is talking to Ken seriously about Rui, and how he and his Digimon could understand each other better if they just communicate more effectively and directly, and Ken comments that Daisuke's more serious side is very pleasant and rarely appears. However, Miyako speaks up and dismisses the subject. Sadly.
We could have had a conversation here that could tell us more about Daisuke’s presente self and way he sees life now.
*sigh* Anyway.
Iori, again, doesn't speak much. Seems to only have intermediary interventions, and serves as a “pair” for Daisuke and Rui in the snowball fight that we see at the end of the movie. A very beautiful scene, don't get me wrong, but only if we see it from the perspective of Ken and Miyako, and Hikari and Takeru. I'll talk about that now.
♡ Ken & Miyako
Ken and Miyako are two characters who seem to grow more together than apart within the movie's plot. Which is natural, given that we know at the end of 02 that they become in fact a couple, and that they build a family together in the future. Here we see the first steps towards their future as a couple.
As expected, nothing explicit or direct is given to us about the nature of their relationship, but we can understand that there is progress, especially by the end of the movie, before the snowball fight, when Miyako tells Ken something that seems extremely vague, but actually means something.
“Let's do it together! " What? I don't think they are aware yet. Ken also seemed very confused about it.
“ Keep thinking Ken, we have to find another solution. “ We also see Miyako trying to support Ken at that moment when they have to make a decision about the future of Ukkomon and the world.
Here comes what I said above: Love cannot be omissive. We cannot expect the least from those we love. If we know the potential of the person we have by our side, we have to support them. If we see that they are trying to go further, we must support their journey and be a source of advice and rest. Alone we can go faster, but with the right company we can certainly go further.
And I think this is where the movie touches on something really important.
It is in these small moments that we see that they really want to tell the audience something beyond, but we need to have a fine power of perception.
No conversation or comment is random, everything contributes to the story. Digimon Adventure has always been made up of metaphors and subjectivities, it is necessary to know how to interpret and be attentive.
In the midst of that dilemma of whether or not to defeat Ukkomon that we talked about a moment ago in relation to Ken and Miyako, we have another moment that I consider important between Takeru and Hikari, which for those who don't know the characters, can take it as a normal conversation of two people who know each other well. Too well, even.
♡ Takeru & Hikari
Keeping in mind their journey, and everything they went through together, is the key to understand the nature of the relationship they share now. But before that:
Much like Ken and Miyako, Takeru and Hikari do not exist separately in the plot. It's ridiculously difficult to separate them. If you talk about one, you have to talk about the other.
At the beginning we see them together in the city when the electronic devices break down, and this dynamic continues throughout the entire movie.
They practically always walk side by side, Hikari takes the front seat in Takeru's car, and even when they are talking to Rui and trying to understand what happened to him in his past, they were a nucleus apart from the others. Nothing new, really. More of the same. But it's in that conversation I spoke about earlier that we understand something that is even part of the main moral of the movie: the way they now communicate with each other now, is different.
Anyone who has followed Takeru and Hikari throughout the series knows that the main “problem” in their relationship has always been direct communication.
Exposing things to others as they are is scary. And none of them were good at doing that.
Deliberating about feelings, exposing what disturbs us, what distresses us, what we think of a certain attitude of the other person. That was always Takeru and Hikari's problem and what hindered the possible evolution of their friendship, into a real love relationship.
In Tri we discover that Hikari starts to look at Takeru differently. And we know that Takeru has concrete feelings for Hikari (Said by the actor who plays Takeru's voice) And then? It's done? Things… are much more complicated than that.
They first need to accept the situation in question (And I tell you this as someone who also developed a romantic relationship with a childhood friend. It's not easy. Trust me. It's far from easy!)
And far from being quick.
It requires a lot of deliberation mostly. Just accepting the fact that we see that person we grew up with differently, someone who has always been part of our life, and we can lose them. Just because we developed feelings. Is scary. There's a lot to lose. It's all or nothing. Especially when one side has trauma associated with romantic relationships. (remembering that Takeru's parents are divorced) it's even worse.
What seems to exist between them in The Beginning was the result of a long process. But effective, it seems to me. Whatever decision they made, it went… pretty well.
Takeru is completely against defeating Ukkomon, from the moment he realizes that this could also imply the disappearance of his Digimon partner.
He probably saw the suffering Taichi and Yamato went through when Agumon and Gabumon disappeared and the suffering he would go through if he lose Patamon... again. And he is extremely vocal and firm in what he says and what he thinks about all of that. Impulsive really.
Until Hikari intervenes. Which cuts through his catastrophic reasoning. She asks him to think, opening up a new perspective on the situation.
Here we have a conversation between them that is quite lengthy (compared to the fast action standard of the rest of the movie) in which Hikari tries her best to make Takeru use reason and not emotion in his deliberation on the situation.
Takeru who, remember, whenever “darkness” or “sacrifice” is mentioned, leaves his rationality aside, becomes blind with pain because of his past traumas.
Hikari's role here is almost the same as Miyako’s in Ken's case: calling to earth and calming Takeru, always in an understanding way, because you can see that she knows where that feeling comes from and that position initially adopted by him (and it is something which she can almost predict would happen, by the speed with which she responds) but she knows that he is better than those triggers that make him impulsively speak based on emotion and neglect reason.
It's about getting to know each other. Knowing how to talk to our person about the most difficult topics. Because it is necessary to strengthen your union. Predict reactions, and be there to calm them down, because you may even know that the person is not to blame for the feelings and traumas they carry, but believe that they are bigger than them. And expect the same from the other side.
The way Miyako knew that Ken could find a solution, he just needed to think a little more. Hikari understood perfectly where Takeru's impulsive reaction came from, but she knew that if she appeal to his racional side he would be able to think of a better alternative to the problem, which he thought would be the end of the world.
That's why I separated this analysis into groups (although the first one isn't... substantial) and decided to analyze the characters together, because that's what this movie is about.
It's about who you are with your people, and the bond you share with them. In a world so individualized, so selfish and so distant (largely because of technology, which distances us from each other), I found it a very necessary message.
And the role of adults? With children and more painful lives?
It is to understand that children are also humans. Who also think, and feel, and understand things. Just like them. Adults tend to forget that they were once children themselves.
We already saw this topic being developed in Adventure 02, but seeing Rui as an adult, reaching to his mother in the past, and drawing her attention to the fact that she neglects her son, is something very touching. Sometimes, we just need a wake-up call, and we can change the future. Ours, and our future with others.
The DigiDestined of 02 encouraged Rui not to give up on someone he loved, Ukkomon, because after all, he only acted the way he acted because he thought it would make Rui happier, even though he failed. Several times.
Ukkomon basically gave Rui everything he thought he needed, everything he wanted. But this is not always ideal.
He acted with his partner's happiness in mind, and this blinded him to the risks he was putting him into. He idealized their entire relationship, and everyone's relationship with him. Instead of being, real. And real things are never perfect.
Rui wanted friends? He gave him friends. He even reprogrammed his parents. They became manufactured humans. And the movie is about reality and accepting it as imperfect as it is.
Do you know what that reminded me of? That whole fantasy created by Ukkomon of “perfect world where Rui is never sad and everything is wonderful?” The fantasies in which the characters from 02 cast were trapped in at the end of the series. That world created with the characters’ deepest desires.
Takeru wanted his family united. Iori wanted his father back and to be able to show him the Digital Word. Miyako wanted attention. Ken… wanted to redeem himself. Hikari wanted peace. It's exactly the same thing.
Think about it with me: For example, Takeru's parents could’ve stay together, they could never have divorced, but they would still have problems. They would argue, and there would be conflicts. Which doesn't mean that this wouldn't traumatize their children even more. Maybe the divorce was in fact the best option for all four of them.
Ken felt he deserved the same suffering he inflicted on others. Would that really be the answer to appease his soul?
But none of it was real.
Not even Hikari's utopia of a world constantly at peace is real. Not even the absence of siblings in Miyako's life would solve anything. Things are not black and white and really, what we want is not always what we need.
Rui just needed to talk to Ukkomon and be sincere.
Where is Mimi tho?!
I will end with a few quick notes that I think are worth highlighting: First, the music and animation in general. As expected, they are excellent.
Very well done visually, appealing scenes, and the last snowball fight scene is so simple… but so delightful.
Life is made up of beautiful moments as well as tragic moments, light and darkness.
Did you notice that part of the movie takes place in a much dark environment, and when the main action is resolved, the movie gains light? I believe that is not just because!
Visually it can be very strong because there is blood, there is violence, there are physical wounds, it conveys the affliction in a very literal way.
Another thing that was expected to happen, but that probably wasn't even thought of properly when the Epilogue of 02 was made, was the problematic of whether or not everyone deserves, has enough morals and ethics, to have a Digimon partner.
How do you maintain peace between humans when you give them free access to machines of war and mass destruction? How do we build the world we see bz the end of 02 where everyone lives in peace even under these circumstances? Which is the the role of the government?
We'll probably need one more movie to find out.
Honestly, I hope you enjoyed this short (not... that short in fact) and sincere review. If I were to give stars, I would give the film 4/5 stars.
It could’ve been better, sure, if there was at least another half hour of animation.
But I don't complain. Despite that, I liked it. I cried, I laughed, just like I cried and laughed when I saw Digimon in my childhood, and that's everything for me. I was surprised by the message of the movie and the way they chose to visually convey it to us. Either way, I hope there's one more movie. To finally conclude the arc of all these characters, and finally, reach the epilogue of 02 (but in a dignified way please).
♡ Thank you once again Digimon ♡
#digimon adventure#digimon adventure last evolution kizuna#digimom adventure 02 the beginning#hikari yagami#daisuke motomiya#takeru takaishi#digimon adventure 02#ken ichijouji#miyako inoue#yolei inoue#kari kamiya#tk takaishi#davis motomiya#iori hida#tailmon#patamon#veemon#hackmon#wormmon#taichi yagami#izumi koushiro#takari#kenyako#デジモンアドベンチャー tri
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NOOOOOOOOO IT’S THE HIDDEN MESSAGE TRAILER 💙💙💙💙💙💙
#IM CRYING REAL TEARS OMGGGG#IFMFKAKSSKSLKSSLSK#KAXKCKKFKFKFLD#kinnporsche#mileapo#kp world tour#kpwt bangkok#kpwt day10
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As much as I adore the show I wish it had been filmed more like the hidden messages trailer. Can you imagine how fucking insanely incredible and gritty and dirty the entire show would have been if it had been filmed that way?? Holding out hope for a bl or something to be filmed like that cause jfc. Nothing tops that. Nothing.
#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series#vegaspete#the hidden messages trailer my beloved#we have fic but god dayum
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Number Neighbors Pt.27
Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader
Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist
Word Count: 1.2k
Summary: When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?
----
Nat’s been more than exhausted these past few weeks as she drafts up argument after argument that she can use against the government to justify why she and her fellow Avengers shouldn't be put on a leash. She knows it’s a long shot and she doesn’t have enough witness accounts or evidence yet but she’s been hearing about the crime rate spike through the rumor mill and she hopes that soon enough she’ll have enough to come back.
She can bring her family back and finally have you. If you’ll still have her after all of this is over. She knows you’d have every right to be mad but she hopes you’ll understand enough to at least let her take you on one date.
The rain pelts outside of her window as it has been for the last three days and she sighs as she lies back on her pull-out bed. If it were under different circumstances she might’ve been able to appreciate the break from the city and the pressure. Maybe she could even come back to these woods with Clint, or Wanda, or…You.
She’s working hard to make sure her family is safe, yes, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t working this hard to also see you again. To finally know what it feels like to hold you, to run her fingers through your hair, and hear you laugh again. The thought of you has been the only thing that’s brought her comfort these past few weeks.
Her computer dings with an email and she shoots up immediately, grabbing the shiny object from the side table next to her and pulling it onto her lap. She wasn’t expecting any emails while she was out here and her mind jumped to the worst-case scenario: they’d found her location.
The email is from an unknown sender which only makes her more uneasy and she’s more frustrated than anything that she’ll have to find a new place to hide when she recognizes the encrypted link hidden in the email's coding.
It was a website Clint had created just for the two of them to communicate in case there was ever a situation similar to this. She’s afraid to admit just how comforting it was to hear from someone close to her after weeks of no contact. She quickly opens the website and reads the messages.
Clint-
Hey Natty, hope you’re having fun wherever you’ve parked that trailer of yours, Tony’s been a real pain in the butt but we’re trying to negotiate some better terms with some government officials. I know you’re probably working on a solution of your own but I’ve got to at least pretend like I contribute to this group-
She snorts at the self-jab, knowing her fellow Avenger couldn’t care less about the insults people say about him being the least skilled Avenger. She always admired that about him.
Clint-
Anyway, your phone’s been blowing up. I think Tony is getting suspicious so I took it and hid it in my room. I think you’re gonna be in deep shit with your girlfriend when you get back haha.
I attached the voicemails you’ve been getting, I didn’t listen to them but I saw who they were from. Thought they might be important.
Nat’s heart pounded as she stared at the attached files, there were at least 30 voicemails from you varying in different lengths and part of her was scared to open them. There was no doubt a few of them were just you yelling at her but even then she’d missed the sound of your voice so much that she’d take your irritation over anything else.
She hesitates over the first voicemail with her cursor but clicks it before she can sike herself out. There’s a little bit of silence and she wonders if you’re going to talk before she hears a small sniffle and her heart breaks. She swore to herself she’d never make you cry and now she’d failed, the sound of your quiet crying echoing throughout her trailer only amplifying her defeat.
It's another thirty seconds before your voice finally breaks through. It’s rough and raw and she can tell you’d probably been crying for a while.
“Nat? Where did you go? Why’d you leave? Listen- we don’t have to meet if you don’t want to. We can keep texting forever just don’t ghost me like this. Please.” It’s short and by how broken your last word sounded she can tell you were probably thrown into another fit of sobs after you ended the message.
Nat doesn’t know what to do with herself, her body feels frozen and her heart won’t stop sinking further into her stomach. She’s never heard you sound so unsure of yourself before and it tears her apart that she’s the one who made you that way. It takes her a few minutes to muster up the courage to click on another one.
“What kind of person just says ‘I’m sorry?’ I deserve a better explanation than that! You couldn’t have at least lied to me about going to save baby animals in Africa where there’s no cell service? At least then when you stopped responding I could’ve felt better!” She’s not surprised that you’re mad at her, you deserve to be, but it doesn’t stop the guilt from gnawing at her chest when she hears how irked you are.
The next few are similar in the fact that they’re either angry or spoken through tears but they slowly begin transitioning into something else. Eventually, you stop talking about her leaving and start talking about yourself. What you did that day, what you’re making for dinner, the cat you’ve been visiting at the cat cafe. There’s still a hint of sadness in your tone but she can tell the calls are a form of therapy for you. A way for Nat to be there when she’s not really there.
She wants to be there. She wants to be the one you’re talking about your day with, wants to cook you dinner while you sit on the counter and visit the cat cafe with you. It hurts that she can’t do that and as she’s listening she feels her eyes burn with tears. She refuses to let them fall. She’s not the one who gets to cry in this scenario and yet her eyes refuse to give up their unshed tears.
There’s one last voicemail from a day ago and she clicks on it expecting it to be like the others but much to her surprise you’re talking about her again.
“I think I’m mad because I can’t even bring myself to hate you for it. I know you’ve probably got some shit going on. I understand that, trust me. But- I don't know you could’ve… maybe it’s too much of me to ask you to fill me in on the situation- or let me know when you’d be back… Is this goodbye?”
Your static voice rings out into the silence and Nat hates how you sound. Reserved- almost accepting. Like you’ve convinced yourself she’s never going to respond again and she hates it. She hates that she made you so insecure that you think she isn't spending every hour thinking of you and how to get back to you.
The sound of your voice fills her with even more determination as she begins redrafting her court argument. She was going to come back to you, you just had to wait for her a little longer.
Pt.28
A/n: Aww Nat :( ~ Starry
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